#this post is about self harm stuff
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ya'll ever see something on your dash and just be like
hm. i should probably filter some of these tags. they are probably not beneficial to me.
am i going to? no.
#this post is about self harm stuff#tw sh mention#tw sh#tw sh related#tw: sh mention#tw: sh#cw sh mention#cw sh#cw: sh#cw: sh mention#yeah i felt like covering alllll the tw/cw tags today#pithontalks#shitpost#like dude i should probably maybe definitely filter sh stuff#but i am not going to because i am a self destructive bastard
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guess who rewatched Jennifer's Booooody
#my art#hyper-hellfire#ghost rider#ghost rider oc#digital art#cw self harm#cw fire#cw burns#that movie is so delightfully spooky#it. lost boys. and the crow are my go-to halloweek movies but Fuck It starting early#ALSO i have normal stuff in the bin soon....#oc posting will probably cease shortly the brainwoms want what the brainworms want i am simply at their mercy#also. croato if u r seeing this might draw raiden. i still know very little about mgr but hes so funkyyyy#i need to read ur big post....
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Day 113 | id in alt
It's Fushiguro's fault that he does it every five seconds. He lives and breathes mahoraga.
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#itadori yuji#fushiguro megumi#tokyo trio#low effort Fushiguro makes a COMEBACK#everyone knows he does that everyone just stares at him like a freak#in the middle of posting this i had to draw CRAZY Kugisaki n maki it was INSANE#ive been writing some stuff and i will continue to write because i love staring at Kugisaki's forehead#i hope the bantu knots look good#im experimenting with hairstyles bc i fuckin LOVE that shit#also picking up#Kugisaki isn't dismissive of Mai's struggle and pain its just that Mai is a bitch and uses the struggle as an excuse to harm others#she has canonly seen people get ostracized i mean her town was XENOPHOBIC AS FUCK#Kugisaki wasn't liked at all either she most likely fought just about everyone. only reason the townspeople liked fumi was because she was#wasn't like Kugisaki because Kugisaki fought back 10 times harder plus the whole murder thing y'know it happens#shes wack like that#she understand Mai and Maki so much and is low-key a hypocrite for judging mai but i think she knows that shes extremely self aware#probably the most self aware first year btw#this is some life tips from yours truly to the people that read these tags#do NOT argue with a political science major on human morality they will piss you the fuck off#i did. i ended up causin them to leave a chat because i was so mad they called something heinous “tame”#it happens.#unfortunately
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Like obviously the whole "they're just doing [x] for attention!" is completely asinine because humans are social creatures who need attention to some capacity, but also... in your narrative, does everybody do things specifically for your attention? When somebody does something drastic or shocking, is it not because they're desperate for help but just because they crave your attention specifically? Does the sun rise and set at your command as well?
#mental health#i get why people say that but it does come across like you're taking somebody's real struggles and almost whining about how...#...they're trying to steal your attention and cheat their way into your heart#and that the act of wanting attention would be a heinous act that you must insert yourself in to fix#like i see this behaviour as genuinely selfish most of the time - taking somebody's cries for help and making it about you essentially#i was listening to my dad tell a story about how somebody's *daughter* had made an attempt and everybody was talking about how...#...she had done it for attention. how fucking cruel. how fucking selfish...#...i couldn't imagine hearing people be that impertinent over my *daughter's* life#honestly that boils my blood as an *outsider* and i truly hope the family is healing#suicide tw#self harm tw#sh tw#(just for implication in the post)#ask to tag (genuine)#just hate the culture of '[they're] doing it for attention lulz' that is still popularized#which is part of the reason the tone is snappy/snarky. i think i've earned the right to be angry at how people interact with...#...this stuff and how it's doing nothing good for anybody
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I feel like something bad is going to happen to me. I feel like something bad has happened. It hasn't reached me yet, but it's on its way.
this is sorta jumbled and confused but its pure style babyyyyyy (enlarge for better quality its fucking rough out here)
#tw self harm#tw blood#ask to tag#comic#if you wanna know why i havent been posting as much 1. im busy doing school stuff 2. trauma#original#illustration#artists on tumblr#do not ask me about lake mungo i havent seen it i just like the quote#mine
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It’s really insane to think about all the ways that they perpetuated Landon’s traumas and hardships and trapped him in them.
Like after he’d grown up being abused, they not only continued to have him being abused by hurting him the whole show, but then chose to kill him and keep him dead in the end.
And after Landon had gone most of his life not being loved by anyone, after he found the person who came to love him most (and who he also loved most), they had her be the one to kill him.
And then, after Landon had been trapped in 2 other dimensions for a whole season, they trap him in another dimension again which they never allow him to escape. Where there are also monsters, after he’d been trapped in a prison world full of monsters where he had to fight for his life. Then he’s gotta be around more of them in limbo and also help them. Even though it’s a totally different situation, you’d think it would still affect him to be around monsters again after having to fight and survive them before. (Not that they ever acknowledged any of this and just had Landon acting fine with everything in limbo.)
And he’d also had to be stuck with the Necromancer for however long it was, the one who killed his brother and forced his brother to kill him, resulting in the loss of his phoenix powers and making it possible for Landon to be dead in the first place. Then Landon’s the one who has to help the Necromancer and he gets freedom and peace while Landon remains trapped in purgatory.
And when part of Landon’s trauma came from him being locked up as a child, when isolation was part of the abuse he went through, he then gets locked up in limbo and remains isolated forever. He hadn’t even wanted to be stuck in a prison world with his brother, yet they put him somewhere that’s essentially like a prison world but worse.
After so badly wanting to escape the harmful life he’d had in the foster system and to have a real home and family and to not be alone, they put Landon somewhere inescapable that is literally damaging his soul, where he is completely alone and without the people he loves and without a real home that he’d always wanted.
And adding to Landon not having a real home, there’s also the fact he’d gone place to place while in foster care, never having any real stability or consistent safe place to be. And then for half the show they trap him in one place after another, and he continues to have no sense of home or stability anywhere. He’s got no real place to go and is basically homeless while trying to survive/escape each place he gets stuck in. And the closest thing to a home they give him in the end is a bar and a dock. And along with that, Landon would have grown up with very little, he hadn’t had many belongings at the start of the show and had to be given clothes by the school because of how little he had. Then by the end, the only clothes he gets to have is one outfit, and doesn’t get to have any other belongings either.
And after being neglected and left behind his whole life, they had him being left behind in every way possible and even said that was his fate. While no one did anything to help him. After his mom had abandoned him when he was a baby, they had her abandon him again (idc if he encouraged her to find peace, it’d still be hurtful to him for his mom to agree and just leave him behind again without helping him). And then they had even Hope, the last person who would’ve given up on him, abandon him as well.
He’d literally started harming himself (in season 2) when he was alone and without Hope and Raf, saying being alone was hopeless. And then the writers made him even more alone in the end, without Hope and Raf and without any hope of being with them again. They took the very things that had made Landon s*icidal and trapped him in them forever and then claimed it was a happy ending for him.
It’s still unreal to me what they did to him and that they took his traumas and basically amplified them and had his ending revolve around them. And somehow thought that was wonderful for his character and story.
#text#landon kirby#my posts#anti legacies#haven’t written an essay in a while#and i know i’ve rambled about this sort of stuff plenty of times#but just thought i’d make a more comprehensive post#about all the different traumas#though there could be things i forgot or didn’t think about#bc of how endless the mistreatment was#cruelest writers ever i think#tw suicide#tw self harm
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Listen to me.
You cannot hate yourself into becoming a better you.
#listen i’m all about self-improvement but you can’t be your own enemy#you’re worth more than the sum of the things you wish were different#if you’ve accomplished absolutely nothing in your life you’re still worth the same#and if your worth is constant then harming yourself can only ever be wrong#yeah i’m still getting pro-eating disorder stuff on my fyp because i reblogged that one post#so i’m still stewing about it. we really failed a whole new generation of kids.
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there r fics that make u insane (so amazingly good it’s removed ur sanity) and then there’s fics that make u insane (you need to fistfight the author for how they did a specific thing that caused u to rant for hours)
#i know i just posted that other thing but ffs that is NOT how u handle someone in that situation everyone involved made everything 10x worse#yet it’s being treated like the right thing to do (which again ofc they’re cops they don’t understand harm reduction but still) like#seriously everything’s so forceful like u seriously think forcing ur friend to talk to u or forcing a patient to talk to a therapist under#the threat of being admitted to a psychiatric hospital is gonna make her feel comfortable talking to u? or anyone? she’s just gonna trust u#less and get better at hiding it and speaking of which the taking away all sharp objects thing makes sense in theory but like think abt it#for a minute she confirmed she isn’t suicidal and this is her only way of coping so do not just forcibly take away all her coping mechanism#like yes she is hurting herself but it’s a COPING MECHANISM. she’s coping with something. help her with that don’t just take away her penci#sharpers or whatever (which btw since she’s an adult she could easily buy more stuff and yk learn to hide it better) which again has to be#voluntary it isn’t gonna work if u force someone to do smthn they don’t want to like as ur friend u could’ve made it clear u care abt her#and wouldn’t judge her for anything and r here if she wants to talk don’t just say “you have to talk to me” and casually threaten#hospitalisation when she isn’t ready in the moment like seriously if this wasn’t a badly written fanfic she would completely stop trusting#bcz given that this wasn’t even done out of panic i would like ffs u are NOT doing any of this right#oops sorry ranted abt the bad fic in my tags-#it’s not where the author’ll see it and know it’s about them i don’t feel bad abt it#this was my first time even looking at stuff for this fandom so#cw self harm in tags#idk if i need to tag anything else for that 😭#fanfic#ao3#ryan shut the fuck up
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taking a lil break off tumblr my dms are open if anyone needs anything <3
#🌱 idle#no specific reason just. stress about irl stuff.#i wanna be able to take some time to myself and this app isnt so good for me#my entire dash is self harm right now because i liked ONE post#mutuals can still reach out on socials tho :3c#i know announcing this doesnt do much because im not a huge poster anyway i just wanted to say#also if my account dissapears i prolly impulse deactivated LOL
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what even
#rough messin around type shit that would look & feel cooler if i was doing that w/ physical media probably .. . .#i should retrieve my old paints and do nasty stuff with it. it'd look so bad#self harm#( sort of. vaguely implied tagging just in case )#shevr#my lines#i need a 'my lines but idrk about this one lads that's not really it tbh' tag if i'm gfonna post stuff like that maybe
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hmmm unfollowing and blocking lots of people
#this is raw in the tags so if you're easily triggered by mental health stuff don't read it!!!!!!!!!#last night i reblogged one of those asylum posts before i was like wait that's fucked up and i deleted it and i feel really bad#like i've been to a mental health hospital a few times i know what it's like in there and how dehumanizing it can feel#i remember everything that happened. and the things i saw and the people i met there. the time i was threatened with sedation.#watching you take your meds and ensuring you swallow them because you can't be trusted#the hard beds and them opening your door every 15 minutes to make sure you aren't hurting yourself#taking my clothes off in front of people multiple times to prove i didn't have drugs and that my self harm scars had already been there#and i'm seeing lots more and other mental health/lobotomy/asylum 'memes' and jokes and it's.... it's really not okay guys#you have to think about how this might make someone else feel who has been through this shit#it's reality and it's not a meme#please be more careful#jen talking to herself#ttpd
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how to write vent post title that does not come off as self-pitying and or accusatory (because it's NOT !)
#sorry tumblr is like a diary to me idk what i'll do w this blog after i (sigh) inevitably move on#either way#im convinced everyone hates me again :3 but realistically no one cares about me even enough to hate me im just stupid and self centred 💔#if anything me TYPING these posts is actuvely turning people against me#again with the assumptions that people care enough to read these 😭 fhskfbhsjfkg#i hate that i care so much what people online think of me cuz irl it's like. whatever#but here there are so many cool people who i admire and would love to be friends with im always hyperparanoid of everything i do#and still i manage to overstep and come off as annoying#like obvs you're allowed to hate me even if you're someone i look up to like that's your perogative#but i hate worrying about IF anyone hates me#oughgh this is easier irl because usually people send off pretty clear signals if they dont like you#but online (esp with how prickly this fandom is) i don't know whether im being insecure and reading into things or whether people just don't#like me (which again is fine i would just rather know if anyone gets it)#i figure art is the one way i can get people to like me 💔 which sounds kinda pathetic because irl i KNOW im liked and capable!#fandom has just become such a big part of my personality that i cant detach my self worth from it#and i do love art and drawing and such i hate that even if i know people my stuff EYE dont and it doesnt mean anything or act as a signifier#of my friendships#wow .... i really am my own therapist ..... i should shut up#the industrial revolution and its consequences (jofandom)#i think these posts are half self exploration half ... almost self harm? because sometimes im so derogatory about myself on purpose in a#'you're worthless' way. but at the same time it's cathartic and i always feel better having probed at my feelings and gotten them in order#not to do a complete 180 but it's MY post and JO LONDON IN *12* DAYS!!!!!!!! AHH i'm sooo excited if it doesnt live up to my expectations i#may cry a little. and there will be another vent post from me !#sometimes i wonder if anyone actually reads these 😭#vee rambles
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FOR REAL I GET SO MAD WHEN I SEE POSTS LIKE "eww why are ntsmg fans such weirdos!! They dont deserve to have natsume/tsumugi as their favs!!" Like first of all we're not hurting anybody pls let us LIVE, second of all Have You Seen the Characters in Question. Like if we're freaks then what does that make THEM!??!? If they were real theyd be the freaks ur complaining abt!!! TL;DR natsumugi loser weirdo freaks canon and im here for it. Also that alice natsume is so CUUUUTE
ITS KIND OF ODD TBH ?? like obviously i get that not everyones going to like the same stuff but like. if you dont like characters being weird, why do You then also like ntmg.......? if its someone who doesnt ship them thats complaining then fine whatever but its so weird to me when people who claim to ship them make these complaints bc its like?? then why do you ship them???? do you Only like the bits where the two of them are being sweet to each other? do you only like their angsty backstory? do you only like the comedic relief? i have a hard time grasping the idea of dedicating yourself to a pair or character without loving (or at the very least tolerating) every aspect of them........ have these people read the stories? or are they being deliberately oblivious? i have no idea
it makes me really sad how people are so afraid of being seen as "weird" though. too often that word comes with negative connotations when that doesnt need to be the case at all, and i wish these people would stop living in fear and surrounding themselves with those who judge people based off how Socially Normal (according to a christian society) they are
also i just get annoyed seeing ntmg get watered down to some idealized couple completely stripped from their complexities to better fit what we're taught is Morally Correct (according to puritanical beliefs) or reduced to a comedic duo SHDKJFHD
#some of you people really need to learn to live a little#because not allowing yourself to indulge in what you enjoy or just getting mad at OTHERS for indulging in harmless behaviour#is going to make you miserable#and i really fucking wish this shit wasnt so ingrained in todays people#because such a judgemental and reactionary attitude genuinely is harmful especially towards queer people#but thats a whole other discussion for another day#and as i always say its OKAY to be uncomfortable with things#there are MANYYYYYY ntmg artists who make things that makes me very uncomfortable so i SIMPLY DO NOT ENGAGE!#but to act like ntmg Themselves arent weird ???#and like you cant possibly understand why the fans might indulge in some weird stuff too ??#thats gotta just be projecting on your end atp#ask#btw this is about harmless self-expression and exploration via fiction and not LITERAL CRIMES#just so you fuckers dont go assuming shit because Jesus Christ the second you start being open about accepting weirdness and being weird#people automatically assume the worst shit imaginable which is so fucking insulting to literally every single human being on the planet#this post is about fictional characters being weird and us being allowed to indulge in it#do Not twist my words into Anything else.#EDIT OMG I GOT SO CAUGHT UP IN BEING ANGRY AT STRANGERS ONLINE I FORGOT U COMPLIMENTED ME#THANK U VERY MUCH!!!!! ASJHFKAJSHDG
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I just had to share this video because holy shit, it hits the nail right on the head! So well spoken. This stuff needs to be circulated more, esp with the growing number of people thinking they have this because of misinformation, or just outright faking it.
#it's painful because i knew someone who personally faked this stuff (or has convinced herself she has it i can't even tell)#she had spent all her time on tiktok and i know for 100% sure that's where she got the idea. it's TRAGIC how fast things went downhill#i'm legit horrified at how many people (esp young kids of 13-14) think they have this too. or are just pretending#i've been neck deep in hardcore research (and i'm talking pubmed sciencedirect etc only) for months#and those kids definitely don't have did.. if they have trauma and are dissociating it's going to be something else like dpdr etc#the number of stupid 'you have did' answers i see for totally basic questions like 'i got dizzy what's wrong w me' is insane too#it's like googling 'muscle twitch' and then thinking you have some rare 1/billion familial cancer thing despite other obvious explanations#but worse.. in these cases the information is being fed to them. they don't have an opportunity to explore other possibilities#and the worst part is they don't even know to CHECK THE VALIDITY OF WHAT THESE PEOPLE ARE SAYING. they don't have info literacy#like i'll say this once: did is so rare that it's STILL contentious about whether it even exists#and it only happens in the most unimaginably traumatic experiences. think of the worst possible things you could do to a child#where even just thinking about it makes you uncomfortable. THAT'S the kind of trauma that leads to did. the truly evil stuff.#i'm not even gonna start on the BITE model shenanigans that are happening in the 'did' communities either#or how the people who used to be in them (and got out) always equate them to self-harming cults that celebrated not finding real answers#they got told they were 'perfect the way they were' despite having OBVIOUS psychological issues they needed help for#(it just wasn't did)#they were assured their 'did was valid no matter what'. toxic positivity ig? it just delayed their real diagnosis and ability to get help#but now you have gluts of people like in the video 'talking to themselves' and people on tumblr posting one-liners of 'alters' talking#one after the other within seconds. and i want to fcking cry because it's the same exact shit my friend did before she cut ties#the did/tourettes/ftlb stuff has literally been called a 'mass sociogenic illness' in multiple academic studies#but like qanon believers they seem to immediately discredit anyone who mentions this with 'you're just ableist' so anything you say is poo#aka you're part of the problem you're an 'ableist' so your legit info even though legit isn't valid/acceptable/real/whatever. i'm tired fam#did#dissociative identity disorder#osdd#ddnos#munchausen syndrome#mass psychogenic illness#ableism
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#man. nights are. Hard huh#Uhhh this is. Another vent post HEAVY trigger warnings for this one#honestly I wouldn't bother reading this nothing'll come of it good or bad so#don't worry about me ill be fine in the morning just need to. Scream into the void again#....again serious serious trigger warnings on this I'm too tired to say specifics but I know it'll be fucked so#Anyway#maybe Jade's right maybe I do need to see a therapist#she talked about some medication for anxiety and it's effects and what is like on and off the stuff#And......#........'waking up and going to bed on the verge of tears' vs 'not doing that'#sounds................#............christ. I...#I'm not suicidal I think I'd never actually follow through nor would I bother to self harm#None of that would solve anything for me and I'm too chicken to do it regardless#But.....#......i sure do think the words 'I wanna throw myself off a cliff' kind of a lot#killing myself is sounding less like a vague weird concept and more grounded in reality#hhhh#do I need to talk to someone about this? maybe#am I going to? probably not#is putting this on my public blog where I know there's a very good chance a bunch of people really close to me will see it a cry for help?#............................................................#i dunno#just know my chest hurts all the time and Im always a few seconds away from breaking down in tears at any given moment#and I just kind of want everything to stop#just stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop#wanna turn my brain off and just leave it like that#everything sucks and is hard and getting harder and despite being absolutely surrounded by love and support#I keep having these horrible low points and the high points feel further and further away#....anyway.....this is the last tag it'll let me do so. um. I'm sorry for whoever does read this... hope you're having a decent night
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Ahfhfgjjhh I hate this
#I just took a bunch of time off for that week#I hate having to call in sick again and again#I could probably go by now but I feel like killing myself any time I'm sick around someone that's not family#so.#ramblelele#vent post#I suppose#I hope they don't think I'm faking sick or slacking#also about that third tag#I really am ok. I won't do anything#I'm just scared that maybe I will self harm again because that's the last thing I need right now#but I was just crying while home alone and nothing happened#so it should be fine#gughhhhh why work#anyways I ate some mac an cheese#love that stuff
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