#this part gave me chills

[artifeast]

HUGS!!!!!

[mistas-pants]

Quick Sketch of Ghiaaa

I missed him so much

[moonlit-knightz]

how i felt after my may thy 9th chip and shatter post…

[megumi-fm]

.

[buttercup-art]

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH OMG OMG OMG-

[sancastarcs]

water 7 peak sanuso arc, hope ennies lobbys continues with the peak sanuso moments

[trashlie]

it's good to see you around again, I missed reading your long ILY posts, hope you're doing better too :) if you ever share your thoughts on the latest couple of episodes (including fp) here, I'd be super excited to read them! I'm really curious how you think the timeline is gonna go from here - especially relating to Shin-Ae and Nolan since it feels like they are the last pieces that need to fall into place so everything is ready for the post-timeskip story to go down. like you, I was so sure Nol and Shin-Ae were going to have some kind of reconciliation before he goes to jail but WELP rip 3 day extension. Poor guy though, Yui showing up in his hospital room must have been extremely triggering, it made sense that he did everything to get outta there ASAP. It's worrying me that this series of negative interactions (Kousuke, Alyssa, Yui) could've undone everything positive Shin-Ae Dieter Soushi Nana did, and now therapy during jail time could either have a positive or negative effect, so Nol is a Schroedinger's cat for now.... At least some things got cleared up and Shin-Ae is now starting to understand the root of the problem (= Yui) (and it actually really makes sense that she had to figure it out herself instead of Nol telling her - the boy obviously isn't ready to talk) so we made some progress.... But istg with this upcoming separation arc 2.0 it feels so much like we're gonna be back at ground zero after the first time skip. Fingers crossed they reconcile in whatever way before the big time skip though. we need a somewhat positive conclusion to this arc before season 1 ends, because if not then what was all this build up for, and why now? What about the realizations? the "convince me"? What about "if you won't let me have you"? If their reconciliation is only going to happen after multiple years of "conflict" between them that would be so cruel....

AND SHIN-AE STILL HASN'T GOTTEN HER BANDANA BACK and now he's stealing her lines too SDGDADSF;SDF

Waaaahhhhh thank you, friend!!! As you can probably tell, I'm still trying to get myself back here fully and figure out how to balance everything, which has always been a struggle ;~; I really may resort to telling my friends to ignore me and yell at me until I get certain posts written up so I'll stop procrastinating because there are SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT EPISODES I WANT TO RECAP AND TALK ABOUT!!!! BUT THE ORGANIZING MYSELF!!!! IS THE PART THAT'S SO DIFFICULT!!!!!!!!

One of the great things about the ILY discord server is that we have this very constant, active conversation going on at all times so it's SO easy to be very present and active, but I also find that it means it's more difficult for me to regulate myself, or I'll have that feeling that I JUST talked about something and so when I try to write about it over here, it feels like a hollow echo and I know that's just because I was just having the conversation so that's just something I need to work on dealing with lol

But I want to answer this before we move so far away from when you asked this!!!!! As expected, there are FP spoilers ahead for eps 246 through 249!!!!!

I!!!! DO NOT KNOW!!!!!!! LMAO Like. GOD. I feel like quimchee has thrown us curveball after curveball and when we sit down and think about how long this period of December 21 and the post December 21 arc has been, how much the story has weaved around?! There are so many things that have occurred that I NEVER expected and, like you, it's just everything I thought has clearly gone out the window. Part of it, I think, is the result of quimchee having to change the arrangement of her story, and god I would love to pick her brain about the things that changed, since Nol's injury was supposed to happen at the formal itself, we never would have had this extended period of hospital time, and it seems like everything about Nol and Shinae coming to realization with their feelings would have played out in a wholly different way than what we ended up getting, so on some level I think this is partly that quimchee, too, is sort of throwing herself cureveballs in that there are things she knows needs to happen and she isn't sure where or how to fit the other elements in? But that's just my guess.

On the one hand, I do feel very "WHAT WAS THE EXTENSION FOR IF NOT FOR RECONCILIATION?!" but beyond Stalkyoo, we have gotten a LOT of good stuff out of this period of time. We see Kousuke facing his cognitive dissonance for, perhaps, the first time, and the revelation that Yui has been drugging him (and likely for a long time, given the way Hansuke describe the dosage Kousuke had and that it merely knocked him out), and more than that, making those connections between Nol and Yui and tea, and wanting to face him. I'm STILL proud of him for wanting to go back and see Nol again, even after he couldn't face him, even after Hansuke found him on the floor of a public bathroom hugging a toilet from the remorse and guilt and perhaps shame of the realization of the ways he has hurt people - has hurt Nol! - who didn't deserve it. We have seen that Rand and Yujing are, in fact, working on something behind the scenes, that Rand is facing Yui as a real adversary now, not just someone who has been resigned to endure her for so many years now, but to actually fight against her. The entirety of Nol's birthday celebration could not have happened the way it did had he not been in the hospital, since he would have had to turn himself in, and while maybe the original plan was that they celebrated his birthday with Minhyuk's coming home party, I'm.... not sure if that would have been the case?

But at at any rate, I do acknowledge that despite the fact that it feels like Nol might be back at square one, that he and Shinae are back where they started in 151, such significant events HAVE taken place that I think will still affect the narrative future of ILY. I still feel strongly that part of Nol's trajectory is coming to terms with the fact that he does, indeed, belong here. That he isn't someone who wasn't meant to be, that he doesn't belong here. He belongs, and he deserves love. He is someone, not nothing. I still think one of his greater arcs will involve coming to embrace this, and while the negative events - Kousuke, Alyssa, Yui - feel like they could be setting him back, he is now equipped with knowledge and feelings he wasn't before. It can't hurt him the same. In fact, I think part of why his confrontation with Alyssa went the way it did was because he had had this experience with Shinae, Dieter, and Soushi, it illuminated everything that was so wrong with his relationship with Alyssa, how neither of them really know each other. It's that sense of foiling that allows him to put his foot down and say enough is enough. Even before it was revealed that Alyssa had come with Yui, it was clear that Nol was over the visit. Don't get me wrong - I understand why he couldn't see that Alyssa clearly was not well, that she was uncomfortable, that she had come to him with no one else to go to, much as he'd gone to Kousuke in the past when he lost his mom, and I also understand why he did the same thing Kousuke did and turned her away. But the point I'm getting at is, it feels like there was a shift. That birthday celebration illuminated something for Nol.

So it's kind of like, while it feels like this might have undone the progress Nol made, it can't undone the revelations he's had, and in that same way, it cannot cast shadow on his enlightenment. He is not the same Nol he was a week ago. Too much has changed, he's become aware of too much, and as such, he is going to respond differently to what comes his way, and while he may continue to try what he had originally intended, I think the difference is that he's now been made aware of things that impact the choices he makes.

But largely I don't really know what I expect just yet. I think it's very pointed that the lawyer reminded Shinae that she has his phone number; I don't think that would be called out if it wasn't going to be important in some way, but in terms of how are we going from here to there? Unsure lol. I think there HAS to be a resolution of some kind, whether it's a reconciliation or not, because Shinae is on this momentum swing that isn't going to stop until she crashes into something or she comes into a force of nature that stops her. Nothing, no one, has been able to reach her or get through to her, and I know it's just because of how much she's hurting, but she's lashing out at people and hurting THEM like a street cat swiping at people trying to help her. She's so terrified of losing Nol, especially now that he came back, especially now that she gave him the option to leave and he didn't and it rekindled that hope she gave him an opening to leave when it would have been easier and he didn't which just made it worse, because so much more was at stake. She can't stop fighting she can't stop trying because she cannot bear what it means to lose him for real this time, not when she finally had him back, not when that realization has come to her even if she won't admit it. She needs him, so what's going to make her give up?

Something has to transpire, whether it's a reconciliation or Nol pushing her away and really shattering her heart or something awful like that, to bring her to a halt, because I can't imagine how we would move into our mini time skip to spring/graduation with Shinae like this, right? So I think there must be some kind of resolution. My foolish, hopeless self wants so badly to hope for reconciliation but esp after 249 I am SO torn. I have two thoughts.

a. they reconcile. She can reach him, and convince him, and even though he is so afraid, he is also someone who folds in front of her, he struggles to resist her. He told her to convince him and boy she can convince him and even though he tells himself he isn't sure if these feelings are real because what if it's just because she's NICE to him I think hearing her confess her feelings would tell him how he feels and give him the answer.

b. But the alternative feels like a parallel to Nessa and Rand, because Nessa, too, was hurt over and over by someone who kept getting her hopes up and getting hurt by him. Shinae gave Nol the opportunity to leave and he didn't, he stayed and doing so sparked her hope, made her feel things, they shared these tender, intimate moments together and forced that realization to come to mind, but for him to push her away again, for her safety, to make choices on her behalf even though she's told him she hates that and she doesn't want him to. Imagine her pulling a Nessa and calling him scum lfkjajkfkjfjkfaj ;A;!!!!! Imagine her so angry and hurt and resentful and saying awful things she doesn't mean and GOD I feel like it can go only one of these ways because what ELSE is going to stop her in her tracks?!

And I really want a reconciliation because parting like this sets them up for SO. MUCH. STRIFE. Because we know one way or another Shinae is going to end up taking Yui's offer and if Nol leaves on these terms, he would end up thinking she's following in Alyssa's footsteps doing so, not understanding WHY she's doing, not understanding that this is Shinae's only way of protecting herself, learning to speak Yui's language and play her game.

and idk I know I'm a hopeful optimist reading a webtoon that proves to me over and over that I cannot be a hopeful optimist but LMAO GOD I WANT SHINAE TO CONVINCE THAT DUMBO

I've said it before that convincing him doesn't mean they have to get into a relationship. Just. Reconcile. She's so afraid of LOSING HIM, thinking that once he slips away he's out of her grasp, her sight, for good, that she will lose the best thing that happened to her and I WANT THAT RECONCILATION. I want her to convince him, for both their sakes. So that he knows he has someone he can go back to. So that she knows he's not just throwing her away. So that she doesn't have to fear losing something so precious and important.

Am I foolish and hopeful for hoping for that outcome? Maybe, but it won't stop me LMAO because as delicious and angsty as Shinae and Nol following in Ressa's footsteps with Nol hurting her again and leaving her so hurt and angry is, I want to see them on that same page. I want to see Shinae convince him - convince him why he is so important to her, and that his feelings are real. That's the thing, right, like.... you can tell yourself that your feelings aren't real, but if the person you like confesses to you, your heart will inevitably betray you and respond to the confession. Nol fears for Shinae's safety but important puzzle pieces are falling into place. She has figured what he fears the most - and if she thinks hard enough she'll realize how she can use that to her "advantage", in that Rand has told her Yui will never let her go, that it doesn't matter if Nol leaves or not. It goes back to my oft repeated sentiment of them needing to be on the same page, to be a team, because his absence will not protect her. And between what Rand told her, plus her anecdotes about Kousuke's birthday and how Yui treated her even before the formal, and what Yujing told Nol about Kousuke being drugged by Yui, maybe, just MAYBE that conclusion that wasn't only him all along will finally hit him. I know he can't change over night, that he has so many deeply ingrained fears that won't be easily assuaged, but I have to hope that a confession from Shinae can convince him that the alternative is worse. Convince him to fight along side her ;A;

I go back and forth on this thought but I think this is strongly what I feel right now. That reconciliation could still be around the corner, even if it's just an admission and a promise to not push her away. Shinae is tired of people acting on her behalf, tired of not getting a say, and especially in something that involves her heart, her feelings?

Go fight girl and maybe bite him if that's what it takes ;A;

STEALING HER BANDANA. HER LINES. HERT HEART. THIS MAN DESERVES TO BE LOCKED AWAY

ALFJLFJLFKJLAFKJLKFJALKFJ

[knightofleo]

[captainswan618]

Just finished s3 and I swear to god that Shules scene was even more insane than the almost-kiss moment holy FUCK

She actually fucking asked him out oh my god!!!!! But of course she had literally the worst timing in the history of the human race 😭😭

And that CHEEK KISS HOLY SHIT????? The way he closed his eyes to it and they were still closed when she rubbed her thumb over the spot she kissed,,,, absolutely insane

Basically what I’m saying is, current mood:

[thebardisabird]

This afternoon I’m thinking about ex-boyfriend Osomatsu.

The same kind of ex who can’t let you go. And while he tries to be amicable, he makes it clear that he’s got issues he needs to work on and that ends up being what hurt your relationship in the first place. You try very hard to be friends and for the most part it works…but you often catch him stealing glances at you; looking at you with longing and a pinch of regret.

And forget it, when you even mention another person who takes interest in you he gets irrational. It becomes a means for him to poke fun at whoever this person is, highlighting their faults and making it seem like they’re not good enough. So when you finally get annoyed and snap at him saying, “Oh so what, you think you’re what’s best for me?” He meets you at your level and shouts, “Yeah, actually I fucking do!”

That’s when it hits you - he never got over you. This entire time he’s been knocking every person that’s come into your life after him so that you would see nobody could compare. Your eyes well up, hurt pooling deep in your chest. He immediately reels back his anger, panic now setting in as he’s unsure what to do. His hands shake before clenching into fists, and his eyes squeeze shut to block out your oncoming tears.

“Fuck it,” he spat, “Yeah. I said it. No one will ever be good enough…they don’t know you like I do.” He turns away, his back to you now, “They won’t love you like I do.”

The tears fall freely now. Your chest burns in agony because all you’ve wanted was for things to work between the both of you. There’s love in you that belongs only to Osomatsu and it takes everything in you to hold the words back when you’re together, but you’re not together. But there’s no overlooking the hurt in himself that caused you anguish when you were. His trust issues, the arguments you would have that would turn into pleas begging you not to leave, the way he was never careful with the things he said and would spew vicious things when he didn’t mean them in the slightest. At some point you knew you had to self preserve - and that meant ending the relationship.

Memories resurface, and recall all the times you’ve laughed together. The times you two spent late nights bullshitting around Akatsuka, the roof dates, the incredibly messy (and surprisingly good) sex…it’s what all tied you to him so strongly. Why even though the relationship was damaged, you didn’t have the heart to let him go yourself. Osomatsu was brash, a sleaze, and did so many things without thinking…but he was honest. He could be incredibly sweet, and he was dependable for the things that counted the most in life.

Osomatsu loved you deeply. Which is why he said what he did without abandon. Nothing’s changed about his feelings for you - the only difference in your relationship to him was that you didn’t have sex and you didn’t say ‘I love you’. But to have you close to him still, not having those aspects mattered so little. He would give anything to have you in his life. Even if that meant swallowing down the hurt of not being to tell you how much he misses you or how he lies awake at night sometimes wondering what the fuck happened and realizing the problem was always him. So he stands here now, heart out in the open, spelling out everything he’s been holding back for months. Because if Osomatsu’s anything…it’s honest.

[ttimecode]

twirls hair how did you feel about starlo whenw when wheb he when when when CEROBA NOOO

uty spoilers// (just in case HAJHFHSJD)

UUHH i'm guessing you're talking abt when he tried to stop her from attacking clover?? WHICH. I WAS LIKE GO SILLY BOY GO before he got fuckin blasted but 😭

MAN I WAS KINDA EXCITED TO SEE HOW IT WOULD PLAY OUT IAUAUFHDHHF

also the fact that both him and martlet were knocked out while i was DYING was pretty funny. especially on the last phase, i struggled a lot on that one and in the middle of it i was just like. huh. are starlo and martlet just zzzzmimimi'ing through all of this?? HAHAJFBNSBD WAKE UP MFS 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣 HELP MEEEE

starlo getting up afterwards just like "ouch that hurt haha wow ceroba" WAS SO FUNNY TO ME

[sadlynojellybeans]

Title: When hope is lost

Fandoms: The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan; Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types.

Summary: Even with all his knowledge and experience, Apollo cannot comprehend what he is seeing.

The red is the first thing that catches his eyes, violently standing out from the earthy shades of wood and stone.

Second is the gold, thin threads catching the light, where they aren’t darkened to black by the liquid soaking through.

Third is the azure shade of unseeing eyes, growing paler by the second as the soul that used to inhabit them gets farther and farther from its former shrine.

He doesn’t understand.

(Aka the aftermath of Troilus' death.)

------------------

So... this story is brought to you by the release of the Underworld saga of Epic and by the temporary insanity that possessed me while I listened to it for 3+ hours on repeat. I literally started writing when I put on music and resurfaced at the end with about 90% of this fic completed.

[beaversatemygrandma]

Interview. Interview. Oh Another interview. Interview. Interview. Guess what's next? An interview that a manager is like "Today at 2pm sound good?" which I took bc yeah, it was good...

I'm tired.

Now will ANY OF THEM ACTUALLY Call Me Back???

[savage-rhi]

.Magenta.

[quemirabobo]

I just realized that I've been putting too much on my plate lately and instead of getting some of that shit done all I end up with is feeling sick every week and things keep accumulating and I stress myself ten times more and I end up doing nothing, reading something to distract myself of the fucking titanic quest I put my ass on

[six-of-ravens]

anyway I think my Toxic Cycle over the past few years has been like:

2022-2023 - so much stressful change. everything changing. went back to the office. moved offices. started hybrid work. had to drive downtown. had to remember how to be a functioning social animal. help. now mom's foot is injured. running out of money trying to keep my apartment bc the cost of living skyrocketed. aaahhhh I'm gonna die of Change.

2023-mid 2024 - Okay, Not Actively Dying. But Now Everything Must Stay Exactly The Same. My Routine Must Be Unbreakable Or I Will Die. Even Thinking About Watching A New Movie Makes Me Ill. What Do You Mean There's No Enrichment in My Proverbial Enclosure Anymore?

mid 2024 - oh right I do have to do new or different things relatively often just so I don't forget that I am capable of them and that a social event or day trip or even going to a different store than usual isn't going to destroy me mentally and physically.