#this needs its seperate post god fuck

[olichat-reads]

NO I NEED YOU TO LOOK AT THIS MAN AND HOW FOND HE IS OF HIS DAUGHTER

LOOK AT HIS FACE

LOOK AT HOW HIS EXPRESSIONS OF HORROR JUST MELTS INTO ADORATION FOR HIS DAUGHTER

[svnflowermoon]

y'all go from being feminists to tearing these women down within seconds oh my god it's 2024 can we please stop viciously tearing one woman down to bring another up i don't care what side you take but saying vile shit about either woman and their music is disgusting, please grow up

[c0smiccom3t]

So.... I heard a version of Crash 5 never saw the light of day and got canned.

And now people are thinking Crash 5 as a whole got canned....

I need a moment.

[kicksnscribs]

Gotta love the comments where a person is like: "not to detract from the current super important and politically charged topic buuuuut *inserts something that is completely off topic and nitpicky as fuck that lasts for ten miles down the comments* "but yeah i dont want to derail anything lol"

And im just sitting here trying to find a shred of hope and good faith in the argument like:

[kremlin]

after many years my old company has finally allowed people back into the office, haha, not to go to work, no no, solely to collect their belongings from their desks. i picked up my stuff and remembered what a psycho i was about my office back then, let me show you..

i set up an old VT-420 on a side of my desk to read my email on (to flex my computer dick) which is unfortunately a bit too yellowed now for me to post exposed but hilariously enough i did take the chance to fix the faulty RS-232 chip in it and i no longer get a bunch of keystrokes interpreted as ŸŸŸŸs randomly. the fix was great too, instead of having to throw the whole thing out like you'd need to today, i literally just had to pull the PTH chip out of its socket, didn't even need to desolder. nor throw the old one out. i blasted it with a blowtorch for about half a second and it's fine now.

(it is amber by the way, which is the best color)

the keyboard is another story, i think a lot of like, entry-level vintage computing people get this concept that every old keyboard is some treasure, and boy let me tell you, some of them make you want throw up, like the vt420's:

you'll have to take my word that the typing experience is pure ass, but if you look at this fucker for more than two seconds your blood pressure will start to raise. and i'm not just talking about the euro return key. where is the super key? and what is going on left of 'a'? did they decide to solve the age-old "caps lock vs ctrl" debate by putting both of them there (??) what the fuck is going on north of the arrow keys?!?! and even further north, 'help' is funny enough on its own, the fact its next to DO, a truly existentially puzzling key, makes it that much better. why is DO so wide?? why are there so many F keys? and apparantly 20 F keys wasn't enough, they had to go on and invent "PF" keys above the numpad. and it doesn't stop there..

the pre-USB world was pretty nuts, but most keyboards still had sane connectors like DE-9's, PS/2, DINs, etc, but not this one

it uses, a, uh, looks like an ethernet cable. weird. but look closer. six pins. AND, big honking square to key it specifically and make it incompatible with the very-similar already-existing 6P6C specification (why?) anyways, that's enough of this crap, moving on

this is the keyboard for my lisp machine, the famous "space cadet keyboard", i get so many fucking emails about this keyboard, christ almighty. people trying to buy it from me, it's a shame, the machines don't boot without them so seperating them to satisfy reddit guy wish fulfillment breaks my heart. it's a lot better. it's from an era where a good computer would set you back half a million and the hardware reflects it. honeywell made it, it's "solid state" insofar as that makes sense for a keyboard, uses the hall effect. there weren't any rats at my office but just in case i seem to have taped something to the underside:

lol. now for accouterments to cover those hideous eggshell white walls:

in order, openbsd, you know it baby, middle is a weird polish promo for the holy mountain, the last thing was a joke whose meaning has been lost to time. chicken and turkey!

i seemed to have been working on some very bizarre electronics projects, personal, during my workday:

god, what the fuck was this?

oh, duh, it's bort's hat. (??)

some reading materials. K&R C is a first edition, somewhat rare. the 9front manuals:

classic, natch. and a huge gear that's clapped

that's it. that's my office apparently.

[swampstew]

Fic authors self rec! ♡ When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ♡

CEV <3 thank you so much for sticking this in my ask box :)

I've done a part 1 here, and a part 2 here.

Now for part 3 - reader beware, these are not for the youngins and faint-hearted

Tulips - Eustass Kid x F! Reader, sexy pollen trope makes my brain go brrrr. I like that this came out both sweet and cocky, and the idea of going feral with Kid out in the open like that just DOES something to meeeeeeeeeeeeee.

2. Really Really - Virgin Eustass Kid x F! Reader, man oh man oh MAN. The idea of Thee Captain Kid still being a virgin is so hot to think about. I need him expeditiously. I'll teach him everything he'll ever need to know. YEOW.

3. Just the Tip - Eustass Kid x F! Reader, and yes its just like the name implies. Something about him just makes my brain melt, on god. And the idea of him being a HUGE FUCKING BRAT just to hold it over you is sdjaskdjsalkdjaksjfekjgkldjfiajsfiasja wsjdasjl aks jflkadjflkajfaiwr jwa. I need him CARNALLY.

Ok gonna take a step back and show some others some love cause I can actually write other characters - I just have my preferences.

4. Accidental walk-in - multi characters x F! Reader, seperately for Kid, Sanji, and Zoro, these were fun little drabbles to write for what-if scenarios. Quite tasty imho. Thinking of doing another set but haven't quite decided on the next 3 characters. TBD ig

5. All good things to those who wait - Charlotte Katakuri x F! Reader, size kink fun times! I def don't show this man enough of my sweet lovin. I need to change that. I'd 10000% fuck with him. Gimme that glazed icing, papi.

Sorry I know you might have wanted some Law and ISTG I thought the accidental walk-in post had him. imsosorry. But you can find all my Law fics here !

[s0lar-ch3ri]

what if i wanted to make another insane promo post?

yeah, ik, its promo time again. BUT this time around i do wanna add in the post both my cousin and niece

one thing i did get wrong, heartz is my niece, starz is my cousin! this will basically be going over what each of these 2 do (...and im also adding in a bonus competitor/promoed person, well actually 2 because I GOT A CHANNEL YIPPEE)

each channel will be seperated up so yeah lets go!

first channel:

Starzzz.andgalaxy (my actual cousin, lol) is a great yter who absolutely deserves to be celebrating more then just 170 subs! since shes actually here with me, i can let her say a lil something on the matter:

"hello! I would love to reach 200 subscribers at least, I think my hard work should not be for nothing!" <- her typing

shes very very fun (and also with this i hope all the god damn hate comments shut lol) and does very cool things such as:

Roblox videos

(comment is from me lol, we'll get there soon) For right now these are just rating videos of her avatar, but I find them very fun (plus since I play roblox if needed I can help with filming lol)! Not much to say on it cause it's not a common kind of post, so onto the next form, which is:

2. Art

As you can see, she does very cool art, this one in particular is a tutorial on how to draw bodies. Is it the best? No, but the fact she's trying makes it great! (this is also where I've seen a couple hate comments come up, so yeah, I'm trying to be mature enough to not commit violence for her upon them) She does admit this video isn't her best work, but she does A LOT of very very cool drawings! Go check them out and her channel of course! There is one thing she also posts about which I love most of all...

3. Paper Dragons!!

(the first image is her first dragon, second is her most recent i think) I don't get how these things are "paper furries", but I do know THEY ARE SICK AS FUCK. I got to see one in person and they're very cool, all with different stories! I honestly wanna ask for one but right now, I'm gonna stick with watching them.

Channel link can be found here:

(this section was finished on january first of 2024, so at the point of this being posted she wont be over here, but i had her here so yeah :D i love my cousin)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Second channel:

Heartzzz.❤️ is my niece, and she does similar content, but still does good content! A couple of videos of Starz and Heartz are them promoting each other, so yeah. While she is on vacation and can't be here to give her reasons to subscribe to you, I certainly can!

Memes

One thing I forgot to mention my cousin doing (well, actually my cousin's section is just kinda old because it's from when she last came over, but she's back to help me again, yay!) is making memes like this. Sometimes they do involve a paper dragon, but I think they're pretty funny and/or relatable (also dragons very cool)!

2. Edits (and Undertale related things)

I'm putting these 2 in the same category just because of the example image above. While my cousin has recently started doing edits, Heartz is the only 1 of the 2 to make anything Undertale related. While the Undertale stuff comes once every blue moon it seems, that doesn't make it any less enjoyable.

I actually found in her description a run down on what she does post, so here:

Link to her channel can be found right here:

(okay ik this section was really short, again, she posts similar things to my cousin, and i didnt wanna repeat, so yeah, if you want more reason, here's what the cousin herself says: "[Heartz] is really nice, she's a good artist, and she's creative"; time i finished this section was 1/15/2024 lol)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

third channel:

Boli and gang (or as their original user is + the profile picture says, Boli the bear) is the channel belonging to 2 kids I babysit! They're pretty new to making content, but they have a promising start already! Currently, their content consists of...

Animations

One of them has really been getting into animation, posting things like ball loops and such on their account. They're very interesting to watch personally!

2. Cool places

I'm not sure if this is going to be a common theme, but there is around 3-4 videos of places like this one. I have to admit, this has to be the prettiest of them all.

3. Art (+FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's Content)

This is another one grouped together, but because this is the first drawing related one I've seen. They're very big FNAF fans, of course leading to things like this. Is it the best? No, but they tried very hard of course, and maybe you could leave some tips for them to improve with!

(they also post memes and funny videos, but I'd rather not do repetition; FINISHED THIS ALSO ON THE 15TH LETS GOOOOOOO)

Link to their channel can be found here:

Oh, one final reason, their profile picture is super cool! Can you guess who made it? This actually provides me with the perfect transition into...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

fourth/final channel:

ITS ME!!! FINALLY I CAN STOP DOING PROPER ASS TYPING

yeah, i have a youtube now, and there's like nothing on it minus a couple videos. all of them are made back in like 2021-2022? cant really remember, but i posted them for younger me's sake. i have like a couple more to get through, but afterwards im probs gonna do a bigger variety of content! art videos, jrwi edits, animations, rambles, essays, you name it! (might even stream again on twitch if that seems what the people like lol)

you may want actual reasons to subscribe, but i currently dont have any. i can only make promises of better future content, but right now i can admit theyre shit. i dont post often, its only oc related rn, all very vague, nothing that interests most people on my blog (cause i know a lot of you are here for jrwi content, huh?). this channel, the choice to subscribe is fully up to you, im not gonna sell myself to it, im simply just saying its real.

Link to the channel is found here:

if you at all took the time to read through my part, i appreciate it, but please do actually check out the other 3. after all, you can always find me here, but you cant find the others anywhere else!

(FINISHED THE REST OF THE POST ON 1/15/24 LETS GOOOOOOOOO)

[kinki-cami]

So first off i am 100% in denial of not wanting to become a floret and hence the reason for all these posts

Secondly there are a few like "races" that im pretty sure couldn't be domesticated by the affini and i will list them and my reasoning here

1. We'll start with Warhammer: the tyranids they are a hivemind mind adapts to their surrounding to further their conquest, hell look at the genestealer cults if they got their hands on an affini welp now the affini are no more bc then theyll be slowly killed of by a thing that looks like them, behaves like them but arent them and also part of a hivemind meaning youd have to domesticate millions of them at once, which i dont think would be easy in the slightest

2. The slivers from magic the gathering: they are similar to the tyranids except they dont have genestealing but they copy every other slivers abilities and are otherwise wild animals

3. The borg from star trek: the only way youd be able to is to somehow domesticate a living ship or seperate one from the hivemind and rehabilitate them first because every thought would be about wanting to get back to the hivemind

4. The eldrazi from magic the gathering: could you domesticate fucking cthulu?

No? I didnt think so or maybe you could but your trying to domesticate an eldritch being who, while it has conscious thought its main thought is CONSUME and is like as large as the affinis largest ship? Like try to domesticate a tornado and get back to me thats basically what your doing, its not possible, hell not even a telepath can go into an eldrazi's brain without going insane

5. (Shit i need one for 5 to make it even... OH! I got it) The gods of Hyrule, excluding Zelda i highly doubt you could domesticate Din Farore and Nayru simply because of how difficult it is to communicate with them, its almost impossible

So boom i win thats right i proved that the affini cant domesticate everyone *fist pump* hell yeah i just gotta become a borg and i won more hell yeah

[queer-here-and-in-fear]

ok, if you can stomach absurd amounts of gore, horror, death, i think i should say gore twice, body horror, religious trauma, implied s/a and post apocalypse i need you to go read hell followed with us rn. best book i have read in fucking years. i literally just got it last night and finished it that night. here are the pros:

what if body horror was related to the trans experience. what then.

the gore is described so naturally. cant describe it perfectly but god the gore feels as natural as weeds sticking up between cracks in the sidewalk.

this is also a case where imo body horror is used properly and it isnt just "what if.. deformities!! ooh spooky!!" its the horror of being changed against your will and the horror of pain and the horror of loosing yourself and the hope of taking that back.

two seperate characters who use neo pronouns!!!

erin, trans girl!!!! love her

love interest is autistic and shows symptoms of autism and thats ok and good, actually.

RAGE!!! RAGE IS GOOD AND YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BE FUCKING ANGRY!!

they represent the feeling of being loved/worshipped in a way thats too much so so so good it made me physically sick. having them who you dont know grab at you, like you are so beautiful they can only plea to touch you, to have you. looking at you like you are the most beautiful cattle.

set in future but politics feels.. chillingly similar to what were experiencing rn. genuinely thought some quotes were real or this was based off a real group for a moment till i saw the date 2025. only difference is that its more ecofascist.

the body horror never makes anyone inherently unloveable. even with flesh tearing and teeth nashing and too many eyes and blood where organs once were you can be human. you can be loved.

terrifying but hopeful. they are dead but we are alive.

HYSTERICAL insults to kalvin garrah in this shit. make an entire character to say fuck him.

the inherently disabled horror of having your body and mind fail on you against your will and the hope of never being the same but surviving.

also the disabled horror of having your body taken from you and changed and twisted for others betterment. to be a martyr by sake of suffering.

[the-lonelyshepherd]

whst r your top 3 fav and least fav yellowjackets characters shep

im gonna do LONG answers bc i want to talk about my sillies

for faves…. i love them all so much it’s actually not funny but for my top #1 yellowjackets character of all time it HAS TO go to my girl Lottie

1. Lottie

she’s insane she’s a cult leader she’s a champion soccer player she has big brown eyes she’s been in multiple odd relationships with various blonde girls she’s a prophet and above all she’s just a girl. 

i’m literally just gonna TOUCH on many topics and not go in depth bc i will actually write a full ass essay. if i haven’t already. 

Shes actually one of my fav characters of all time, not even just yellowjackets. deadass she is SO fascinating, both adult and teen version. unloved by rich parents. schizophrenic (or is it really the wilderness speaking to her??? we don’t know!!!) but hides it until it’s too late. her transformation from sarcastic a little odd but generally kind and cheerful soccer player to borderline mute haunted prophet to years later mysterious but successful wellness center (…cult) leader??? INSANE!!!!! 

her whole religion arc with laura lee??? actually one of the DRIVING forces of EVERYTHIBG i could write an ESSAY on this. insane. her weird one sided rivalry with nat??? INSANE!!! (and lwk homoerotic). her obsession with wilderness baby??? this could be its entire own post

also she like… just wants the best for everyone. she’s been put on a pedestal, marked as an enemy, had her words twisted to excuse HUNTING and EATING someone and then told it was her fault. she also couldn’t stop this because she let someone beat her up to let their anger out. she’s so self sacrificial she’s so overly caring and it ends up hurting herself and everyone and all she’s trying to do is understand things. she can’t be a god but she can be a martyr if they kill her quick enough. she’s MY tragic queen no one gets her like i do. i love her so much. also courtney eaton is really fine. irrelevant.

2. Nat

next up is nat. nat is also like. ohmygoodness. 

first of all the most interesting thing about me for nat HAS to be her dynamics with the group. you could put her with anyone and learn so much about both characters. travis? jackie? misty? lottie? shauna? ben? all of them. it’s a combination of nats insanely interesting character and sophie thatcher’s (sorry juliette lewis but it just wasn’t as impressive for me) INSANE screen presence. she shows so much emotion with just facial expressions and fucking steals every scene she’s in. def a huge contributor in making nat the character she is.

also unlike a lot of the other yjs, nat already has a history with this sort of tragedy. we see in her flashbacks with her dad (i think s1.4?)

this stuff sets her up as immediately apart from the group - not only is she a bit of a social outcast, labeled as an alcoholic, a druggie, a whore etc, but she also already came from a dark place and physically spent a lot of time seperate from the other girls. she spends a lot of time w coach Ben and travis, expanding a lot of their characters and making javis death even more horrible for her. the trauma she has surrounding guns and her father also leads to another really interesting thing - above all, no matter how much she pretends she doesn’t, nat does really fucking care. she cares a lot.

i LOVE this kind of character so much, the kind that pretends to be rlly apathetic but is almost more genuine in their kindness than anyone else. nat just genuinely fuckung cares and she’s been through so much and i rghhhhh. her apology to jackie???? hell even her moments with travis. cutting off his dads finger to get the ring when he couldn’t do it himself. i’m losing it. anyways i have to cut this off bc i need to get to my next girl and i WILL write an essay if i keep going. 

3. Shauna

Shauna fucking shipmannnnnnnn (and by an extent jackie because let’s be frl they are kind of one) let’s go crazy girls. Shauna is honestly terrifying. starting strong!!! but it’s kinda true. she has this like weird underlying sense of something violent about her. she’s always wanted more, she’s always kind of lived in jackie’s shadow wether jackie meant to or not. she had this kind of mindset that’s just SO like obsessive??? i kinda sound like a shauna hater rn this is NOT TRUE 🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️ she is so compelling it’s insane. 

first off sophie nelisse is incredible. actually incredible. like from the BEGINNING she had me FASCINATED with shauna just with her expressions and rghhhh everythibg. the talent is INSANE. 

and shauna herself is just. so tragic. now you can’t really talk about shauna without talking about jackie. and it’s okay bc i love jackie as well she is my favorite girlloser, resident coldgirl, mislabeled, misjudged queen. et cetera.

and having jackie is such a core part of shauna’s character. when she comes to the wilderness she starts to slip apart a little. rifts form, promises broken and secrets start to slip out. but she still CARES about jackie. she tries so hard to help her do something useful so the other girls don’t turn on her. 

but in the end she was always going to be the one holding the knife. she was always living in jackie’s shadow (at least in her mind) and she had this weird relationship with her where she both villainized and obsessed over her. standard homoerotic highschool girl bestfriendship. i don’t even know where i’m going with this there’s so much i could say. before i end let me rq touch on

wilderness baby and callie. this is also one of the most compelling things to do with shauna. after jackie’s death, shauna is technically on her own. after being so long on begat she perceived as jackie’s shadow, she has, in her mind, autonomy. and things really start to go downhill. first, she’s carrying the baby of her dead best friends boyfriend. which is a situation. but jackie isn’t ever really gone - she’s in shauna she’s in the baby she’s in the meat shed she’s a ghost and eventually she’s a full on fucking meal. so even though she’s dead, she NEVER leaves shauna and shauna is haunted by her forever. normal best friend stuff. but anyways shauna carries wilderness baby to term and loves him so so much and then it turns out he was stillborn. let me emphasize she loved this baby SO FUCKING MUCH. then later as an adult we see her with callie. „i don’t even like my daughter”. the switch up is crazy???? i think i’m running out of room to type fuck but anyways shauna shipman you will always be famous i love you i would write essays on you

okay least faves is actually harder.  beacuse i love them all. i’m gonna say that annoying mustache groomer cop. and like idk who else tbh. nats dad? jackie’s mom??? oooghhh jackie’s mom and dad scene is a whole mother tangent

anyways i hoped you enjoyed me exhibiting symptoms!! thank you for your question idk if you can tell but i love talking about yellowjackets

[our-inspire-verse]

Hey man? If you have "endos dni" or nontraumagenics or anything related anywhere on your blog (unless its specifically a post about trauma and even then. Im fucking heavily side eyeing you) i am instant blocking you.

If i ever reblog from anyone who has that on their blog I'd hope someone tells me so i can delete it and block.

I do not care. We do not treat our colleagues like this. We do not seperate members of our community. In doing so you are keeping resources and safety and community away from people who desperately need it, especially now.

In times where people in power want to control us and seperate us so we do not have each other, we are adding to the hellscape we all deserve to not be in.

Do not talk to me about what is possible, you are not god and if you were you are not mine. Do not talk to me about science, or misinformation when you are the one spreading it.

[vorecommunitywoes]

Slowly began to read your blog, and I have to admit. I'm starting to realize your right. I have been gr--med by a vore lover before, and Yeah. You literally can not stop Vore from being a kink or a fetish. It's literally impossible. The name itself is sexual and no matter how hard you try to seperate it, in the end its just something adults made and that children clearly should have NEVER been near before.

I am sorry you've had to witness the immaturity of the community, and I'm so sorry you're getting harassed over this. I wish you so many good things, and I'm sorry.

oh my god yeah i am so sorry youve been exploited before, no one ever fucking deserves that. if no one has told u already it is not ur fault, it was entirely on the other person who did that to u.

on the other points, i do want to point out that u can like vore in a completely nonsexual way, just that it isnt something u should trust an adult with if u are a child. if u have groups of peers around ur age that u can talk to about vore with, sexual or nonsexual, that are private groups, those are safer spaces to explore vore. and if u feel uncomfortable in those groups, u should absolutely 100% also leave and make sure u dont give ppl ur personal information

there is nothing that u need to apologize for, i think a lot of ppl here are willfully misinformed and that talking ab this "politely" is not going to bring any change to how ppl approach nonsexual kinks. that under the surface there r a LOT of bad actors and that u cant just trust anyone who puts up a cuddley soft safe facade where they want to be intimate with u or other children. vore/EAT/swwh is an INTIMATE concept. it doesnt have to b sexual at all, but its a form of power play where u dominate someone else with ur body, which can very quickly turn into unsafe situations.

its not bad or shameful to be into things like this, whether its just a nonsexual interest or if its a sexual fetish. just if u are a child u have to realize this is a different nuance than being into like geology or dinosaurs n stuff because of the intimacy, and that its going to b more safe for you to explore this without the world watching u until ur an adult. its hard to realize how many people see ur stuff since not everyone who does will comment on it. and u dont know if the wider world will see ur work, repost it, make sexual comments about it, and there is much less u can do about that than if u were to post this in a much more private setting where u have more control over WHO sees ur work. (when i was a kid my vore art was reposted onto other websites too for ppl to use as fetish rp characters... it felt horrible and violating and i wish i only put it in private groups so its not out there like that)

i wish u good things too, and to take a break from the internet for a bit if u need. if u have any other peers ur age that have private groups to talk about this sort of thing with (and if they have separate categories for nsx and kink areas (again no adults. i just know how the internet is and the safest way for a minor to explore ANY sexual interests (since they will tend to anyway) is with ppl around their age, NOT adults.)), maybe u could ask to join or make one. just, again, be careful and take care of urself, ok?

[theaviskullguy]

D&D Obey me- Lucifer, Mammon, + The Twins!

@trash-opposum here you go. seperate post so people can find it but here!

Disclaimer, if i do the rest, im going to avoid making EVERYONE a tiefling or aasimar, those are just for who i think are exceptionally appropriate/is how im playing them as my current dnd character is just Belphegor. If yall want me to make the others (Asmo, Levi, Satan, maybe Diavlo but who knows) let me know!

so let's GOOOOOOOO

Lucifer

Aasimar, the kind from Mordenkainen so no special extra type

Noble background, mainly cause i cant think of anything else

As for class, we have four potential options

Two varieties of Paladin, cleric, or warlock

First paladin variety- Oathbreaker

In this case he was probably originally Devotion before the revolution, and whoops! Oath Broken!

It'd either be a point of pride for him ("I fought for what I believe is right, and there is no shame in that") or he'd hide it from everyone

Second paladin- order of the Crown! obviously because of Diavlo. fellas is it gay to swear undying devotion to your future ki- *gets shot*

Cleric, then Order Domain. clerics are sworn to gods and not demons but shush his patron might still be Diavlo. in an actual D&D setting i can see him instead swearing to like Tyr or something.

he wont be healing. clerics are tanky he's out here ordering people to drop their weapons and then fucking murdering them

Warlock, gotta be fiend patron. im not sure if its possible to be your own patron but itd be funny as shit. worse case its fiend patron with some flavor homebrew as i call it to literally just be a fiend in his own right climbing the infernal ladder as he levels up

i promise the others wont be as long

Mammon

Earth Genasi as those are descended from the Dao, which are the greediest genie. Also, they just look rich with gem-like stuff growing in cracks on their skin you just know Mammon's one of them

Charlatan background. he is scamming people left and right and it works

Rogue, thief subclass. Honestly any subclass other than Arcane Trickster (hes not smart enough) or Scout (hes not equipped for the "outside of civilization" shit)

Unlike for Lucifer, the others have Backstory! Woo!

Mammon is the son of a Dao and a human. His human parent helped him escape from the Elemental Plane of Earth, but then he was left on his own

So. He quickly learned how to con people. At first it was for survival, and then greed.

He found Lucifer while running one of these cons. In particular, his "con" was a vanishing act. He claimed he could become "one with the earth" when really he was curling up on the ground and casting Pass Without Trace. Lucifer saw through this illusion and threatened to out Mammon as a conman, unless he joined him as his ally. So, he did.

Lucifer keeps him in check, but that's not to say Mammon isn't fully on the straight and narrow

Beelzebub

Tiefling!!! variant tiefling favored to have fly wings.

Outlander background, ill explain why in a sec

Barbarian. Need I say More?

actually i will- Totem animal, spirit of the bear. Since bear gets resistance to all damage (other than psychic) while raging and i feel that works with Beel more than anything

now for his backstory! he isnt canon in the campaign im playing belphie in but his backstory has the same catalyst. When he was five years old, the kingdom he lived in was caught in a rebellion against a tyrant. In which, Beel saw his older sister get killed by a royal guard. Belphie was going to be killed- but was protected by a tiefling in a knight's armor (my previous character who was killed. rip avi)

Beel, in his five-year-old mind, just ran. He took off without a second thought- a decision he now regrets deeply.

He ran into the surrounding woodlands. And gets an Atalanta-style backstory. For those who dont know, Atalanta was a princess who was abandoned in the woods and raised by bears

So Beel is raised by bears. Which is way better than being raised by wolves

They teach him how to hunt, gather, and its all well and cute. He sometimes entered the rebuilding kingdom to trade in leftover meat for clothes and weapons- and, to try and find Belphie. No luck.

Eventually, Beel grows to be a powerful warrior. Hangry, sure, but his rage hold the rage of freaking bears. so keep him fed. please.

Anyways Lucifer and the gang (everyone minus belphie) encounter Beel in the woods, watching the cubs. Beel agrees to adventure with them. He says goodbye to bear mom and promises to visit- hopefully, with his twin, next time.

Belphegor

hehe its ME

Zariel Tiefling but i dont give a shit about the infernal legacy its just There. tail is a cow's tail he basically just looks like his demon form

Hermit background. again ill explain in a sec

Druid, circle of stars! to people about to scream "i just checked the wikidot why he no circle of dreams??" because that doesnt have to do with dreams and sleep as i wished it did. its the obligatory faewild subclass. i hate the faewild subclasses (other than the bard one that ones fun)

Currently n the campaign im in we're level 5, so his two wildshapes are wolf, and a bull. But he also has his three starry forms due to being circle of stars.

now. backstory! strap in this is Long

he's saved by my previous dnd character- Avi- and is taken in by him and his husband when the rebellion was over.

Except. due to seeing his sister die and not seeing his twin after that, Belphie assumed the worse and thought that Beel also died and he was the last one of his family

He fell into a pretty deep depression and had no motivation to do anything besides sleep, cry, and eat very tiny portions of meals.

eventually his adoptive dads start telling him stories. and. surprisingly. they seem to help! Belphie is still a shrinking violet but he eats more and can cook and do basic chores!

And Then Avi Goes Missing

His husband- Skull- asks the now 11 year old Belphie if he wants to come along to find him. Belphie declines, saying he needs to get in control of his life and some big quest is probably just gonna leave him with more trauma

Skull lets him stay home, and gives him one of his feathers. So if Belphie ever needs a hand, he can call Skull over and. well. have one of his dads at least

For five years, Belphie took to studying druidcraft, and the stars. He also enchanted his favorite pillow to float and be able to carry him. So he had a little more comfort when going out to buy groceries. He'd make detailed star maps to sell in return

When the sun rose on his 16th birthday, he left a note at home saying he felt ready to tackle his own destiny, and left.

He had a brush with Lucifer, but not Beel. so close, buddy.

Anyways he arrives at The Hunters Guild, finds his parents again, and takes residence in the observatory, where he studies his stars and druid magic again. But also, sleep and dreams.

and. yeah thats where we leave off! god that was long im sorry

[lyra-heartstring]

TW: Mentions of Sh, suicide, Od, racism ( self directed/internalized )

Before i start, the racism part of this is genuinely only to myself. I dont care what race other people are, i just hate mine.

Letter for the boy in the mirror that i wish to kill.

Spending the past 16 years of my life being ugly has been my enternal hell. I have to live everyday knowing im conventionally unattractive and no matter the clothes i wear and the way i style myself ill always be ugly. I have wonderful outfits that i think are really fucking cool or just nice and casual, but the only issue is my face and my skin. I dont want to deal with this shit, i hate my skin tone and i hate everyone trying to tell me to be proud of it. " Black is beautiful "Go fuck yourself, im not and for some reason everyone feels the need to let me know like i havent had to live with this body that i wish wasn't nine. "You're ugly" " who would like you" " you can atleast try to be funny " all of you can die, im tired of you and your fake sympathetic bullshit or the rejections in which i get infantalized bc people dont wwnt to be mean, just for me to find out wbt what they were thinking later. I get it im ugly and i tucking hate my race every issue i have stems in some way shape or form from those 2 factors (gender is another but that's a seperate rant on its own ) and don't give me that bullshit " its just your style " " dress nicely " fashion is a looks thing irregardless of how u want to spin it. Outfits look good because of how the person looks and for some fucking reason nothing works with me. My parents are trying to style me as some proper black christiwn boy, thats litterally the entire opposite of what i want to be. i have to deal with everyone tell me shit like " your outfit looks good", hoping one day they talk about me. " your shirt is nice " what about me?, " your outfit is cute ", what about me?. Ive spent years living as the billshit excuse of a human being with people shoving it down throat that im ugly, but THE SECOND I TRY TO KILL MY SELF OR I CUT MYSELF EVERYONE IS SUDDENLY THE GOOD SAMARITAN READY TO SAVE ME FROM MY TROUBLES. " Im jealous of you ", " i wish i looked like you ", " you arent ugly " I swear to every single celestial being i will rip off the head of the next person who tries to spoon feed me this bullshit. Im the person who is better off taking the photos, the one in the back of the pictures being blocked by people and thanks to my fucking skin tone i looked like some fucked up horror monster in polaroids. Now that its been 16 years of not a single person being there for me, suddenly everyone is some empath and knows how i feel. " i relate " " i understand how you " NO YOU FUCKING DONT, YOU POST AESTHETIC PHOTOS OF YOURSELF WEEKLY, HAVE PEOPLE HITTING ON YOU, WEAR WHATEVER YOU WANT BC U ARE ATTRACTIVE ANYWAYS SO ANYTHING U WEAR IS A " fit ". GO FUCKING KILL YOURSELF, TRY BEING THE PERSON THAT EVERYONR IS SUPRISED MANAGES TO DATE SOMEONE, ITS NOT THE SURPRISED OF " we didnt know " ITS THE BULLSHIT SURPRISE WHETE THEY ACY LIKE YOUR PARTNER IS BLIND OR YOU ARR PAYING THE PERSON TO DATE YOU. ITS THAT BULLSHIT SURPRISE YHAT SOMEONE ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH LIKES YOU. IF YOU EVEN GO THROUGH A PORTION OF THAT THEN MAYBE SAY U UNDERSTAND ME, DONT TRY TO RELATE TO MY STORY WHEN YOUR BIGGEST WORRY IS BEING HIT ON. MY BIGGEST WORRY IS BEING CALLED CREEPY BC I SAID I LIKE SOMEONE, OR A WEIRDO BC I CONFESS TO SOMEONE " i like you " BC ITS CRAZY THAT MY ABORTED FETUS LOOK-A-LIKE SELF HAS YHE AUDACITY TO DEVELOP FEELINGS WHILR LOOKING THE WAY I DO. EVERYONE ELSE CAUSE DO THE SAME SHIT AND ITS A SILLY FUN HIGHSCHOOL EXPERIENCE, ITS FUNNY, AKWARD, ROMANTIC. What i would give to be a different person, different hair, different face, different race, different voice, the amout i would throw away just for that is unmeasureable. To the higher beings i hate you for what you have

done to me, people worship you for what you have fone for them, and im suppossed to join along and be thankful of the gift of life when my life has been nothing but a curse. I hate you for how i look, i hate that everyday i have to find new methods to not think or look into mirrors bc my immediate reaction to commit suicide. Im 16 with a violent hatred towards my face, a waste of space incomplete cell called my body, the urge/desire to kill myself the second i think abt how i look, pure hatred and negativity. I spend all my time cutting because the moment the blade leaves my skin i remember im ugly. The many nights i stare into the mirror with the pills in my hand as i cry for being dealt this shit of a hand from life. I hope for happiness one day but ik that i will never find it nor will i let go of this anger. To the few people reading this

[desire-mona]

randomly assigning house md characters internet moments / videos / memories / whatever i remember based off nothing at all (i did i dps version too) (also links for everything i talk about will be provided) (also also this isnt made to make fun of anyone involved in any of this)

house - mr beast and his OLD OLD youtube videos, like circa 2015? i think? he used to make cringe compilations essentially where he just made fun of kids' youtube intros. face and all like nothing was blurred for privacy, and then he'd call them cringe and make drinking bleach jokes. like a LOT. i binge watched those back in like 4th grade i think? maybe 5th? so thats kinda all i associate him with now. he also made videos where he would say a word like a thousand times, sometimes WAY more (like 100k+). or like. count to that number, he did both. anyway rip house you wouldve loved making fun of kids' youtube videos

wilson - does anyone remember the evian baby commercials? i think the whole shtick was like "this water makes you feel young again" I THINK? the one i linked was the one where the reflection on a building makes ppl babies, but theres one where babies are on roller skates or whatever too. this isnt entirely an internet moment as much as it is just a memory, cuz i remember my mom and my aunt DYING laughing at these commercials. idk what it was they were just in tears. theres something so 2007-2015 about dancing babies. wasnt a dancing baby the first internet meme? just googled it and yes it was.

cuddy - onision's shitty spoken word songs PLEASE tell me someone remembers them. onision really shouldve stopped trying to make music after the banana song bc the rest really suck shit. this is NOT based on vibes i gotta get that out there, i was like hmm cuddy has a kid. you know who else has a kid? YOU KNOW WHO LET THEIR KID FALL OUT OF A WINDOW? cuddy would fucking HATE onision. ALSO OH MY GOD PAUSE EVERYTHING ONISION JUST UPLOADED A SONG. I NEED TO MAKE A SEPERATE POST ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW WHAT THE HELL. anyway dont watch it. i linked strange æon's video on his music just bc i really dont wanna direct u to anything of his directly. did u know i dont like onision?

foreman - the most insane youtube poop ive ever seen in all of my 19 years of living, i sent this to maddie specifically when i made my initial "like for a rando internet moment!" post but i really need to share it with the general public. general warning for youtube poop-ness; flash, loud noises, overwhelming, etc. i am actually begging you to watch this because it tops every other ytp ive ever seen, like actually blows it out of the water. i also has no idea ppl still made ytps after 2014 tbh.... btw this is probably the only ytp that i'll ever recommend LMAO

chase - OH MY GOD KYLERLOVESJESUS. so basically this one eboy influencer type on tiktok back in 2019 Found God and went on rants about how abortion is wrong and gay marriage is bad and blah blah blah. there was this moment on one of his lives where he went "i love gay people, i would be best friends with a gay person. do i support it? no." which was the FUNNIEST shit back in the day. i would quote it on the daily. btw the editing of the video i linked is VERY of the time so beware LMAO

cameron - cutie the kitten (sans' wife and gf) + the killing videos sans fan girls would make. i actually cant link anything bc the channel doesnt exist anymore but! basically back in 2016ish there was this one girl who had such a crush on sans and she had a whole ocxcanon situation with sans and her pink cat oc Cutie. a lot of ppl hated her + the ppl who had ocs shipped with sans but looking back its truly not a big deal. what is a big deal is that she (? maybe?) and other sans fangirls would make animated slideshow videos of their ocs using powers or whatever to kill other sans fangirls. like brutally. it was a wild time i wish cutie's channel was still up so i could prove thats a real thing, but ask an undertale fan from back then and odds are theyll know. heres a sans fangirl cringe compilation so you kinda know what im talking about, but fair warning it is a cringe compilation so. it wont be nice.

thirteen - TW INCEST!! this one hamilton animatic i saw back in forever ago to the song 'helpless'. usually animatics to that song use eliza and hamilton (im not a hamilton fan this is very surface lvl knowledge btw) but the one i saw was eliza and ANGELICA. like as in HER SISTER. big surprise someone in a big fandom ships incest wow I KNOW its tame compared to other shit, but it was i think my first exposure to anything like that circa 2017ish, so it kinda stuck in the brain. also the video i linked isnt the og its a phil collins mashup, the og got taken down. hamilton always makes an appearance in my house posts doesnt it, be lucky i didnt give kutner this one bc ppl were turn up abt hamilton fan kutner.

taub - WHAT DO YALL KNOW ABOUT MIKE AND MELISSA ⁉️⁉️ basically mike and melissa is this animated passion project this guy made to show himself (or his persona? or maybe just some guy) falling in love with his fursona that comes to life. this was the only episode this guy uploaded and i think he kinda disappeared after. the plot is kinda hard to follow and its not TERRIBLY animated but its certainly not professional looking. there's a video about what happened to him uploaded like 5 months ago, but i havent watched it. when i first heard of mike n melissa i fully thought it was a mid 2000s family sitcom but it definitely Is Not That.

kutner - undertale sans au christmas party comic dub. i probably dont need to give an explanation as to what sans aus are but idk how many ex or current undertale fans follow me so i'll do it anyway. making au's for undertale was a pretty common practice back in its early days, and usually the most popular character in any undertale variation is sans. who sans is shipped with was always up in the air, so much like the onceler, ppl ended up shipping sans with other au versions of himself. this christmas party comic is in my mind the undertale fandom equivalent of camp weehawken. i think there was also a sans au comic where all the sans' except for like 2 were toddlers at daycare? i dont remember who the adult sans' were but also i think the creator got into hot water? dont remember why.

[breathe-2am]

Only this fandom would see a woman spitefully keeping a little girl from the family that loves her get her just desserts and be like "what about the white man ☹️ tho".

Fr? On god?

I literally made a long ass post abt how excited i was for this arc and for ortiz to b brought to justice, and how fucked up what she was doing was. Like. Its a long diatribe of how messed up it is that shes using her political power to enact a personal vendetta. I thought the storyline was really interesting and had high stakes and i was excited to see how it would all play out.

I did not realize that it would b resolved in the next episode. For all of that intrigue and tension, i was thinking we'd probably be getting a resolution around midseason. In my brain, this had to simmer. Hen and karen needed to have a few more conversations about it. The wilsons and the buckley hans needed to have some more time to mix and adapt. Like, what abt hen's growing resentment towards chimney for all the time mara's been kept seperate from them? Does that start after mara's already back with the wilsons? There has to b a setup and payoff, and we did a three month timeskip over the setup and now the payoff feels kinda abrupt.

The post was not saying 'what about the white man tho'. It was about how weird i found it that ortiz/gerrard were what i thought would b the main antagonists and through line this season. Their dual presence seemed looming and immediate. And then it was shoved into one episode along with most of the other plotlines we had going into this season. I thought it was off that olivia ortiz, who is an antagonist but also has sympathetic motivations, and who looked like she was gonna make some big plot moves, was taken down by vincent gerrard, whose negativity is much more well established bc hes been a presence on this show since season 2. Why does gerrard get to team up w the heros to defeat the villain and get a cushy job he likes, while ortiz is the only villain who gets put on blast to everyone, loses her job and any power she had?

Why is the latina woman apparently the only villain? Why does the bigoted white man get to take her down and win? Why was this entire plotline stuffed into one episode?

Idk man