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sophiethewitch1 · 3 months

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Woah what did that anon do

nothing really, im just a bit too defensive of my peace. they sent this ask in and i immediately noped out lmao

#sophie speaks #sophie answers #i am a skittish prey animal #with severe demand avoidance issues and chronic pain #this means i get nothing done ever #now excuse me as i go write a oneshot that nobody but me will ever see because it makes me feel less like the tempting allure of death #its another bad pain day #i think im going crazy about it

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fictionadventurer · 10 months

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There's something about reading really great writing that's so relaxing. You can just sit back and let the words wash over you, knowing that you can trust the writer.

#random thought of the day #books #part of the reason i'm not getting writing done today was because i spent most of my free time reading from books i've let sit for too long #i haven't been able to sink into good fiction for a while #so elizabeth goudge felt like a spiritual experience #cleansing and uplifting #it always takes me a while to get into her books #there's a learning curve of a couple of chapters to adjust to the style #but once i break through it's bliss #it becomes easy as breathing #there's nothing quite like what she does #i love books that understand that goodness isn't boring or trite #you don't need to have 'darkness' and 'grit' to be complex #like one bit that took my breath away was the talk about sallie and david's marriage struggles #they're both good people who love each other #but they also have their differences because they're human and that causes struggles #not marriage-breaking struggles just nuanced life struggles #and i'm not sure i've seen something like that in a book before #it's a good marriage they married the right people but that doesn't mean life is perfect #goudge uderstands that marriage isn't happily ever after--heaven is #and a good marriage is two people partnering up to help each other reach that goal #it's so much more adult than any 'complex adult' work i've seen

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punkeropercyjackson · 4 months

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Oh did that trans woman present femininely in a way you find corny?Did that autistic kid annoy you by being passionate about their interests?Did that traumatized person cope by being a therian so you think they're stupid?Did that black person act in a way you found offputting?Thank you SO much for making a whole post to make fun of them because it was completely necessary to announce your most important feelings ever because weird people are vewy scawy.Should we throw a party to cheer you up?Should we invite JK Rowling?

#like shut your fake freak ass UP you're not breaking social norms by being k/inky and using over the top cruelty those are literally normal #i used these groups because they're the kindness most accepting and coolest people ever and have done nothing but help me heal as i do them #and with autistic kids i mean they did it completely unintentionally by being my friends while i took the role of the shoulder to cry on #because i'm a GROWN ASS MAN AND WOMAN who does NOT need the approval of my oppressors and i will NOT throw them under the bus to get it #go do actual activism and grow a spine and get a relathionship that's not a situationship and communicate outside out of your little bubble #transmisogyny #ableism #antiblackness #transfem #trans women #actuallyautistic #catkin #dragonkin #ghostkin #therian tag #autistic girl summer #black femme #black men #black love #blackness #misogynoir #bigender #genderfluid #transmascfem #pinkcore #weirdcore #children's rights #anti harry potter #💌#summerposting

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bacchuschucklefuck · 2 months

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this whole thing being abt rage is also really interesting. I feel like it comes up so much in fiction as a motive because it's the one emotion that's unifyingly restless while everything else can be petrifying, and just personally nothing hits like impotent rage for me, esp. with teen characters, esp. with characters whose rage is stoked by Someone Else to further that Someone Else's cause. like you'll have done all that in a bout of passion and when you're done you look around you and nothing has changed. those sentiments don't get quelled by being satisfied. righteousness withdrawal is a horrible thing to intentionally drag someone into, least of all just some kids.

#I think Ive brought my personal experience into this whole thing lol but yeah just.#the ratgrinders read so much like radicalization to me. or you know just. high control group recruitment #and I've seen that one time brennan brought up uhhh conservatism? and where people come from with that #that quote of his thats like. before youre a fascist youre a bully. like extreme sentiments take root on specific soils #and that's like a higher level than what we're talking abt here lmao it's fake fantasy high school role playing #but yeah just like. the simultaneous understanding of the grift working on these kids bc they already think a certain way #and also the other part that is no matter what the way that they think is not. conducive to them being happy #like yeah a nasty person is nasty to be around! but that also means they're often isolated #which makes them even easier prey for people who want to use them #fhjy coming out in The Current Climate makes that connection so apparent too lol like #me hearing abt the rage god: oh so like twitter #for the record of course I Dont Know if this is a read that's intended by the show #but it maps well onto my experience with radicalization/decentralized cult #Ive just. been thinking abt the rat grinders in those terms ever since I made the connection #like. you're accomplished and high level and such. is this sustainable? have you done anything For Yourself #or has everything you've done so far been coerced out of you by someone else's sweettalking #anyways if I can run porter cliffbreaker over with a car I would. and I'd reverse on him too #truly thats the highschool trauma as well as the grown man with niblings talking lmao #nothing gets me more mad than a shitty teacher #not art

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alexcabotgf · 7 months

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not to be true crime posting on main but i think i'm falling down the wm3 rabbit hole again

#xenia.txt #when i tell you this case keeps me up at night to this day #not even the murders themselves as much as the general public's reception to and opinions on the case 3 decades later like #i get why it;s always been so divisive especially after the pl docus came out (lots of opinions on those btw none of them are good #from the bottom of my heart fuck you joe berlinger and bruce sinofsky)#but it's truly baffling how no one is willing to do the research on what is arguably THE most well documented true crime case in recent #history like. everything that's ever been released to the general public is available online and i mean everything #you can find all the court files trial transcripts depositions interogation tapes aerial photos you name it it's out there for anyone with #internet connection to access at any and all hours of the day #and yet people are still foaming at the mouth fighting on reddit abt their innocence based off nothing but a couple of movies like #bffr with me right now!! almost every point the innocenters make can be easily debunked by scrolling through callahan for 15 minutes #'but they've been pushing for dna testing since their release so they can't be guilty' baby the case is closed!#it's been closed the second they took the plea. they can be striking under that courthouse and it still won't change a thing and they knowi #that's why they're pushing for it in the first place but that's just my opinion #^ and i say they but it's really only echols which makes a lot of sense to me personally #and if you want to talk abt dna testing let's talk abt the one that was done in 2011 and how the defense hurried to propose the plea as soo #as they got the results! let's talk abt those cause no one's ever seen them and i would very much like to #braga share the results the people want to know!!#makes me wonder which pieces of evidence they even submitted for that 2011 testing because if i'm remembering correctly #there was one that would've closed this case instantly and maybe that's why the results were never disclosed and the plea was rushed #but that's also just my opinion #and it's also interesting how the majority of people who have in fact deep dived into this case #(and i'm not talking abt big true crime youtubers as i'm very sceptical abt their research abilities)#all collectively lean towards guilty. much to think about #i was hoping someone would make another ~actually~ unbiased documentary for the 30th anniversary and go over all the case files #but i don't think that's even realistic at this point seeing as everyone and their mother has some sort of an opinion on this case #hbo deserves another lawsuit for this. they should've never won the first one in the first place #true crime tw

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ichorblossoms · 2 months

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lots of respect for ppl who don't post/talk abt certain oc things due to not wanting to spoil their own stuff, however i will not be doing that. by the time any of this stuff is finished it'll probably be different anyways

#i have this thing where i simultaneously cannot ever find the words to articulate my oc stuff and the inability to shut up about it #who the fuck knows if i'll actually finish it. i mean i'd love to. i WANT to but these are (for now) passion projects and i can't devote #myself to them full time so! i'll hand over the details #nothing wrong with not wanting to spoil things either i get it. i jsut talk a lot. esp if i'm excited abt smthin #actually now that i think abt it there are some ttw things i keep close to my chest #partially for spoiler things but also the canon of the story is so wildly different from what it has been that it is the one case where i #don't want to introduce something cool and neat only to have it scrapped later bc this blog is evidence that i have done that. many times #and thinking abt storytelling the way i imagine honeybee being told is nonlinear so at times it necessitates me 'spoiling' things from #p1 and p2 for instance to explain how they got to where they are in p3 #i'm thinking a bit more and with ttw being horror i think the next time i get around to taking a solid jab at it i will actually be more #cagey about certain things. esp in regards to sanguine as a whole #but it's underbaked in the middle rn so. shrugs #i still also don't really mind spoilers in general so i don't give much of a shit abt spoiling my own stuff yknow?#good stories are good regardless of spoilers and my intention is to make good stories. not that i can be the one to judge that tho #but i like what i make and that's the really matters yeeeeeeeehaaaawwwwwww #rambles

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quietwingsinthesky · 5 months

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i do love canon amy & rory but god, does some part of me wish they really had gone with the idea of the doctor picking up a child as a companion (and then later, that child’s best friend with a huge crush on her.) with the rest of the season really not changing at all, except now it’s amelia pond with an angel in her head killing her and lost alone in the woods. it’s little rory who dies and is forgotten and becomes a toy soldier. if this is going to be a fairy tale, then let it be one. children have never been safe in fairy tales.

#it wouldn’t have to change any of the actual plot of the season. except MAYBE amy’s choice but even then i think amy’s choice would be the #one episode where they should be adults. if only for the half where they live in a village in that dream.#because that’s the kind of future that children would dream up. they live in a little cottage and nothing ever goes wrong and their best #friend visits them all the time even though they’ve grown up.#they aren’t actually adults there just children with an idea of what they should be as adults and acting accordingly #and it would still end the same way.#but idk its just. rory’s 2000 years waiting for amy inside the pandorica is already tragic. yes.#now imagine its a kid. a kid in a little roman soldier helmet who will never grow up. who will not leave his best friend.#he loves her and she’s more important than the whole universe and that sort of love is supposed to MEAN something in a fairy tale!#its supposed to melt the ice out of hearts and transform people from stone.#and what that love means here. is that he will have to wait 2000 years. a child and a box.#little rory and the amelia who followed the doctor’s letters to the pandorica. and she doesn’t recognize him again.#and amelia in the pandorica… 2000 years a child trapped in a small box waiting to be rescued.#s5 is already fucked for them but it could be worse. it could be so much worse.#and it would make the doctor choosing to take her place in the pandorica to save the universe later even better.#because who else but the doctor would put the fate of the universe on the shoulders of two children and realize much too late what a #monstrous thing he’d done. and still have to hope. have to hope. that amelia would remember him fondly enough to bring him back to reality.#the logistics of all of this would have been a pain lmao. child labor laws in acting and all that.#BUT. hypothetically. it would have slapped.#doctor who #amy pond #rory williams #<- also this entire time ive been referring to him in my head as rory pond so much that i fuckin. forgot his actual last name.#and then like if you want them to be adults in s6 or whatever you can just timeskip to them getting married and still have amelia remember #the doctor there. it would work. it would.#amelia pond au

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cream-and-tea · 3 months

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pallas in book one is definitely at it-cannot-possibly-get-worse-than-this ABSOLUTE rock bottom but god. there is such a specific flavour to their despair in book two that only happens because of the realization they have at the end of lay me down. like. how do you move on after admitting that everything you believed in was a lie. how do you live with what you’ve done (with what has been done to you). is it possible to pull yourself up out of the pit you’ve dug. what do you do if it isn’t. what do you do if it IS. and once you look at the damage how do you stop looking. past the first layer of hurt there’s just more and more hurt and you were used by the one person who was supposed to keep you safe to cause even MORE pain and no matter how deep you go none of it means anything! it never meant anything at all!! motherfucker your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#pallas’s whole arc in the first book is getting to the point where they go ‘maybe i? feel bad about all this?? actually???’#i cannot overstate enough that it takes an entire book to get them to that point lmao #and then it’s like. newsflash buddy now you’ve gotta DEAL with that #it really is the mental equivalent of getting into a hot bath of after being out in the cold for a whole day #and the interesting thing about pallas in the first book and their status as a villian and like. their eventual ‘oh SHIT’ moment #is that pallas doesn’t need to realize that they’re a bad person doing bad things #pallas is VERY aware that they are a bad person doing bad things #it’s actually more about realizing the harm that’s been done to them? like as a human being??#bc they very much have the attitude of ‘well of course i’m doing bad things i was born as an inherently evil person there’s nothing else #i’m capable of doing the most i can hope for is that someone points me in the right direction and i’ll be able to do the hard things #that other people cannot (and SHOULD NOT) do’#so THATS the mindset that needs to be unlearned before they can start moving forward? if that makes sense?#less ‘shit are we the baddies?’ and more ‘shit have i been horrifically abused?’#but then after that realization all the blood they’ve spilled is still there. and they should never have had to do that. no one should ever #have to do that. but they did and now they’re starting to see the full extent of what that means #and they have to find a way to live with it.#and it’s absolutely DEVASTATING.#wip: ghost story #pallas #i’ve been working on the book two outline. if you couldn’t tell. head in absolute hands rn.

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jrueships · 9 days

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Do u not ship tatum and brown 💔

#ur answer #LMFAO TO BE SRS THO #i do ship them but i also dont #like i like the ship i think it's rlly cute #i just dont feel the urge to write for it myself or comment on it #ill see pics of them and be like aww!! the cuties!! married !#but like thats all tbh #i dont have the personal compulsion to explore their relationship in depth on my own time #now that dowsnt mean i know nothing abt them. i know bits n pieces but only from moots #not from research done on my own accord #and bcs i dont have that solid backbone to play off of #i dont feel comfortable personally to write stuff for them if what im mainly playing off of are small bits #to make a big whole thing #then ill feel like it's a disservice to those that DO know the whole thing so i just leave it to the more experienced ya feel?#theres a lot of blogs who DO do that research and thats awesome! i do research too! judt on other things #everyone has their own cups of tea they like to sip and they like to down #i like to sip on some ships but ull Know when i down a ship bcs . ya. ill be the iceberg baby #it's like my opinion on favs like zach lavine #hes pretty and i can see the reason for being a fan but personally im just a fan of other things !#a bigger fan* i mean. i like him. but do i LIKE like him? cant say for sure bcs i havent made the effort to get to know him fr #and i dont feel the need to bcs i just dont and thats ok! no need to make any violent defense up when theres none needed #altho i do feel like sometimes a ship like jt and jb can run the risk of the curry lebron thing where #a lot of ppl jump into writing it bcs pretty light man paired with powerful seeming/looking dark man = wowziezowa #and thats all it ever is to them #so i Do tend to avoid Some media of it. but again. unforch. this follows a Lot of the popular ships between a light complex&dark one #do i think theyre super cute ? yes! do i find their found family adorbs! ofc! in a way i ship them and in a way i dont #i am just a creature at the end of the day #soggy :(

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crossbackpoke-check · 10 months

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Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman

part one | part two

#toronto maple leafs #HELLO EVERYBODY THIS HAS BEEN MONTHS!!! MONTHS IN THE MAKING BECAUSE i AM UNHINGED AND NEEDED THE PRECISE PICTURES THAT I KNEW I WOULD GET #like. seventy five percent of this has been done since the first time i posted this and while it has gotten better with time because #my narratives simply got more complex and there's so much of this that is For Me but don't worry i will explain but aLSO goddamn mitch coul #you have gotten married any later in the year. also willy you truly disappointed me by not getting an absurd haircut this year (now that #i've said this he's going to debut it on instagram like. tomorrow. but anyway that meant y'all got to enjoy my neuroses of #Loving Tyler Bertuzzi who is a goddamn leaf. the joys of having to wait to post this (was not a leaf at the time i started it) and anyway i #have at length i think had the breakdown about tyler in pigtails girl dad & how i got a bob & then tyler copied me which was rude. that's m #gender. ANYWAY starting from the top we got sheldon keefe documentation which was really just the personal decision that i wanted all the #coaching staff to be the markers in the poem/the bold & also at the TIME keefe hadn't re-signed &we thought it might be everybody out w/kyl #anyway the title of the scrap of an old lover's flannel is literally 'u think this is about sheldon & kyle NO it's about timothy liljegren'#bc. liljegren was on the marlies winning cup team & has had a contentious relationship w/keefe ever since & was healthy scratched in playof #& the narrative is sooooo. also at one point for the ryan o'reilly i was going to edit the stlb out of his grandma's shirt or cover it w/th #childhood dreams line but THEN i found the gio snapped stick one which was too perfect for 'crumbling copy' the ryan o'reilly To Me is so.#ur insane in ways u did not think for that one. like. how soft her hands were. his grandma you guys. he grew up a leafs fan. if he ever get #to lift the cup with her again i will lose my shit. the cup run a movie i remember nothing--OKAY the spezz one i knew i needed him stresse #but also i believe in the spezz/kyle narrative so. it comes up later don't worry ALSO SPEZZ FOLLOWING HIM TO PITT CAME AFTER I MADE THIS bu #the muzz tea one makes me a little sensy bc muzz was out with an injury for most of this season & it was a really scary spinal one & so yea #& then the simmer one just straight up makes me cry bc i love him so much & the work that he does for anti-racism in hockey means so much &#if you have that video open & watch it i promise you will cry i do every time it's so beautiful he had to be on comforted by beauty & sammy #boy is on the a man who doesn't know me because EYE remember the caps goalie tandems. baby lilya. the mo one is a little funny bc it is #solely due to wade's thread about mo rielly the coal miner homestead husband. that's why he moves to omaha also i think it suits him (quiet #OK NOW OLD MEN IN LOVE NARRATIVE this one's in contention for my fave bc it's spezz coping w/retirement fundamental meaningless of existenc #u heard abt tyler already that's for me the minchy picture was just too good i had found it earlier & i spent SO LONG looking for an empty #leafs rink picture for bathtub i have some cool construction photos but i wanted the melting ice ones (thought about tahoe lol) & the sprin #one i manip'd a lot bc i needed a spring picture bc playoffs clinch in spring & that one fit so coincidentally perfect bc it's 7 straight #seasons 7 guys so. :) & i KNEW i swore to god they did more milk advertising i knew i was gonna do this one from the minute i saw the poem #the milk patch & it took a hot minute BUT I FOUND THIS ONE this one's for funsies. AND THE PIC I WAITED SO FUCKING LONG FOR this is actuall #from kerf's wedding but i was like i know on god mitch is getting married this summer & that's about to be the drunkest shenanigans wedding #i'm waiting for the pics. & then i was BLESSED with this one which is beautiful & perfect & LOOK AT THEM. anyway the last one is bc

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running-in-the-dark · 3 months

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kinda disappointed with how this weekend went. I mean, it wasn't bad! but it was our first weekend in the new apartment, and I/we wanted to get a lot done. I already did a lot during the week (a lot for me, not a lot for most people I guess), but there's lots of things that I can't do/can't do on my own, either because I'm too short or not strong enough or I need someone else to hold something or whatever. which realistically just won't get done during the week because my husband works full time, so. it sort of sucks that only one very small, unimportant thing got done. 😔

#like. there's no rush. not really.#I mean we do get our kitchen in two weeks so we'll have to have space to install it then lol #but other than that it's fine #except everyone constantly makes me feel like it isn't.#they're so judgmental and shitty about it #yeah it's chaotic and messy as hell. there's boxes everywhere. we've only found some of our kitchen stuff so we're mostly eating microwave #meals with plastic utensils. all of that stuff #so fucking what? it doesn't affect any of them! I wish they'd just stop commenting on it but they don't.#well. at least it's just over the phone now. I haven't seen my or my husband's family since we moved in and I'm not planning to anytime soon #precisely because they will not stop doing this no matter how I react to it #like in what world would that ever do anything good? it doesn't motivate me to get shit done any faster. because guess what? I'm already #going as fast as I can.#like. I've had (maybe still have) a middle ear infection and been on antibiotics all week and I still got so much done! that's good enough #and this part is fun to me! I like that nothing is finished and everything is possible and new and different #it does also stress me out but so far it mostly feels like an adventure #anyway. I'm just venting but seriously why is everyone I know irl so mean all the time?!#personal

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passthroughtime · 6 months

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i hope you don’t mind me not participating in sunday six for so long and not updating my fic... i’m having a bit rough time handling my life irl right now

#meaning i’m having the worst start of the year ever #i’m EXHAUSTED fucking exhausted from my living situation and it doesn’t seem to get better any time soon #naturally i don’t have it in me to write because i don’t have enough time to relax. it’s been three fucking weeks.#i just don’t know even my body gives up from this stress and not like something terrible is happening #it’s extremely upsetting also considering that i love writing and it’s the only activity that makes sense to me #and always has been like that it’s in my core #and i. can’t do it. i can’t. i have no willpower or strength and it’s not writer’s block i’m just SO TIRED ALL THE TIME #therapy and years of medication mean nothing at this fucking point. props to me for not killing myself tho. well done 👍#sorry for ranting i am so frustrated that i can scream. i have actually. didn’t help.#well ahem i hope you understand 🙏 i feel bad that i’ve promised the chapter a long time ago and NOT TO BE THAT AO3 AUTHOR but #i really wanted to keep my promise. fuck me i guess #putting letters together one word at a time

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jinstronaut · 3 months

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this is also why i stopped using my tracked tag for a while tbh

#and i might do it again bc its just #a reminder that no one rly cares abt what i do / who i am etc #which might sound over dramatic idk how else to describe it tho its just hollow #it feels very much like a Chore and a Task and if i dont reblog things fast enough from my tag #people get very angry and/or upset with me even tho theres just #so much content and i have 0 time so everything gets queued no matter what #like this whole experience feels like a chore lmao #and it never ever used to #but now theres so much animosity if i dont behave / interact with things Properly #or whatever the make believe rules are idk #this dash can just be so negative like have we all truly descended into madness during this hiatus #bc like i get it ive been up and down and all around too but ive never been straight up MEAN to anyone in this community #and i never want to either so this entire situation thats been bubbling for months just feels like shit #bc what the fuck changed and how do we get back to where we were #i never ever ever ever felt this way before like idk the middle of last year #but ever since like last fall its just been idk. Bad #once again im sorry if ive ever done anything to upset anyone but my silence / absence doesnt mean i dont care #ive just been Incredibly busy due to some real life changes that are out of my control #i might not have energy to answer everything but i do Read everything and it does make me smile #and i save messages that are kind in my heart so i can be reminded of the root of what this blog is supposed to be #a space for something im very passionate about and previously had nowhere else to express said passion #so like idk if we all like the same things why does this weird feeling of competition linger over us lmao #why do all ccs have to fight???? each other???? when we all love and do the same things????#i have nothing against anyone personally but what i Do take issue with is the way that ive been doing this since 2021 and im fully just #ignored and shoved aside by so many people for reasons i fully dont know or understand #so yeah idk this is a novel i just woke up from a spontaneous nap bc im so exhausted i can only stay awake for 3 hours at a time #but yeah anyways idk !#be nice its so easy !#tbd

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graciebrams · 4 days

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🫧

#tw: vent #so my mother is basically mean to me like 99 % of the time and we literally argue every single day #and i have been trying my hardest to not pay any heed to what she tells me but recently she told me something that really #made me feel so incredibly hurt and stupid idek how to put thaf into words #i avoid sharing things with her because she makes me feel bad about even the tiniest most unnecessary thing i share with her #so basically i have this one friend who was staying away from home for uni and she lives near me so i always try to be there for her #becayse i know how lonely it gets for her and i always go everytime my friends need me and my mom hates that #she makes me feel like being nice to my friends and others is the dumbest thing on this planet and that im stupid #but if my sister does it she's an angel #i was just waiting for my friend to figure things out as she was moving back home after uni ended so we could go look at internships #toghether #and she went home and got a job and while im happy for her she didn't even mention anything about it which made me sad enough but when i #told my mother about it she made me feel worse she said that was not very nice what she did you did so much for her and i told her #that's alright i dont mind and she said that my friend used me for her benefit and that I'm stupid for being nice to people #because according to her every nice thing that ive done is stupid and nothing i have done is going to make her feel proud or is enough #she qould NEVER say this to my sisters EVER #aah fuck this became too long #im so sorry if anyone came across this #but yes my mother is literally my biggest enemy most times ngl #she makes me feel like i wish i was not alive #it hurts to see my friends have great relationship with their moms and sisters #:')

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quietwingsinthesky · 6 months

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thinking about rose and the master meeting and i have decided that it would be a constant flip-flop between ‘intense hatred/disgust that has (mostly) (well.) (sometimes.) been corralled into petty bickering that doesn’t end in anyone getting hurt (fatally)’ and ‘two girls at a party making out to see if their boyfriend will get jealous and do something about it (he won’t) (he wasn’t paying attention) (they’re still going at it out of sheer stubbornness at this point) (unfortunately discovering they’re both good kissers. this is not going according to plan at all.)’

#also lots of petty jealousy between them too you just know there is #the master knows more about the doctor than rose does. than she likely ever will or even could.#but when rose is in a room. the doctor forgets anyone else is there. and that is so so infuriating to the master. you know it would be.#also i didnt mean that metaphorically i meant that they are literally on the TARDIS console making out showily and the doctor is too busy to #deal with it #(doctor thoughts: oh good. they’re finally getting along. nothing to do with me then. i definitely am not experiencing an abandonment crisis #about this happening. this is fine. im going to crawl under these panels and look at wires for an hour until theyre done.)#doctor who #rose tyler #the master

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astrxealis · 6 months

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dear gods i adore horror tbh but i am way too sensitive to it

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#idk how to describe 'sensitive' rn i'm dying in the head i should be asleep but Man!!!!!#i search up tons of horror stuff for funsies. movies uhh creepypastas stories real life events etc. fun!#BUT it freaks me out wayyy too much. bcs i really don't deal well w Those feelings of paranoia.#my imagination too good i was scared at night going to sleep bcs i'd imagine what to do if an intruder came in from the bedroom door #or bathroom door and think of how i'd escape Death.........#Did Not Help my area before was kinda yk. chillax. chillax meaning grassy tree-sy backyard overgrown trees #old-ish in a filipino chill neighborhood that isn't very fancy ?????? idk.#and the fact one time my dad almost died and someone standing close to him Did die so. haha. traumatized from that.#I WASN'T THERE..... but i rmbr my dad coming home and the news absolutely terrified me. anyway!#wow... rambling on tumblr at 3 and a half am... Nostalgic.#anyway yeah i love love love horror stuff but i am !!! so bad w them !!! like jesus christ i adore resident evil and bloodborne #is my whole bloodline. or something. but i can't even watch my twin kill 1 zombie in a re game Demo (she can't do it either)#and i can only make it to killing the first monster in bloodborne and explore a tiny bit where there are still no enemies. god.#AAAGGGGHHHhhhh ... and the first point of horror in omori then i stop playing for months...... even tho i rlly wna play more :((#2024 ........ cmon... i will try to overcome my fears more.#i've improved somewhat at least! ...from when i was younger. like. man. i could never stay in night-time in games ever.#ffxv? nah i always have to travel at morning. only when i got strong enough that daemons were nothing to me did i stop #getting scared. ouuughhh... and i always try to be stealthy in games........... for many reasons ofc but 1. Scared #okay i shut up now. apollo rambles of tonight: done and over!

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