#this list is pretty long but still

[cipheramnesia]

Tumblr stop recommending me horny sapphic blogs that all say men dni in the pinned post, go back to sending me posts from the one that's just horny all the time please, I want the fat furries and the queer freaks that are way less respectably normal about me and my body.

[b4kuch1n]

and the storm he was driving/washed it away/in the eye there was a silence

[bleue-flora]

Write the autitic c!dream essay🙏🙏

Why I think c!Dream is Autistic - Part 1

[context]

[Part 1] - [Part 2] - [Part 3]

Welp… I guess while on the topic of neurodivergence now is as good as time as any to do this. So, at long last…

Since every version of this essay ended up way too long I’m going to break it into 3 parts, and I'm going to make more generalized statements for the sake of brevity. So, if there are things about this or autism in general you would like more clarification on or know more about, my asks are always open (though I do ask that you please wait to flood my inbox until after you’ve read all parts). I would also like to add that for the same reason of length, I am not going to go in depth on all of the facets of autism and diagnosing it. I am not a psychologist, and this essay is not about defining autism and going into full depth about what it is, but about the specific aspects of Dream and the dsmp that I think point to autism, based on what I know and more importantly my experiences as an autistic person. Having said that, just so we are on the same page - Autism means that our brains are literally structured differently (also known as neurodivergent), which means we think differently and process the world differently, it does not make us inferior or broken or less than larger society (neurotypicals), it only means we are human beings who are wired differently.

Now, for part 1 I’m going to briefly go into the traits Dream has that I think point to autism, keeping in mind that this is not necessarily all inclusive, these are not necessarily autism exclusive, and some of these can be effected with masking and personal growth. 

Highly obsessive - in general and for specific interest, to the point of not taking care of oneself, like forgetting to sleep, eat, shower, or just not caring enough to do so. 

Strong willed, determined and dedicated - not going to give up easily, willing to stay up training or farming for long hours or put in the work especially for our obsession. Our priorities aren’t always productive, but we are not ones for laziness.

Isolated - outcast, odd ball out, set apart, on the outskirts, loner, alone even if surrounded by people.

Highly intelligent - smart, clever, big brained, skilled, knowledgeable to the point of ground breaking (ex: Einstein, Elon Musk, Michelangelo, Beethoven, Leonardo da Vinci…etc)

Trouble with emotions and feelings - from recognizing them, processing them, letting ourselves experience them, understanding them, leading us to often then lash out, explode, or have a meltdown.

All about the facts and truth - sometimes to an abrasive and candid point where it can become more important than how people feel or the main point.

Logical mindset - making decisions based on logic and strategy rather than on emotions to the point of struggling to understand others when they follow no such logic

“Black and White” thinking - right and wrong, good or bad, yes or no, on or off, love it or hate it, friend or foe. Everything is in extremes.

Rule follower, one to fight for justice and for others - we are stubborn and in our strong conviction we are out against injustice and misinformation, fairness and what is right and true is imperative. 

Unable to forgive and forget - hard to let things go. Often have good memories and are able to remember things with the same detail as if it were happening again and not years ago. It doesn’t really fade with time and that makes us easily hold grudges, and hold things and behavior against people.

Resistant to change -  doesn’t matter how big or small nor whether it’s good or bad, we are enemies of change. We like to understand so uncertainty and new things are often disagreeable.

Able to recognize patterns - able to see the full picture, see history repeating itself and people’s behavioral tendencies, which makes us good at scheming and masterminding. We hate change so we want to predict things to avoid being surprised. 

Trouble articulating our point - stuttering and stumbling over our words, because our brains are moving too fast for our mouth to keep up and it’s hard to explain ourselves because our brain works differently. (we’ll talk about this more in part 2)

Struggle with body language? - I mean it’s hard to say given the Minecraft format, but to me wearing a mask could be to avoid having to make eye contact (which I hate) and appropriate facial expressions and stuff like that, which are pretty important in diagnosis. So while some headcanon that Dream wears a mask because he's too expressive and doesn't like being exposed I actually think it might be the opposite and saves him a lot of effort and brain power to not have to worry about his facial expression. :)

Stimming - (yes an ADHD thing but also an autistic thing and it's very common for someone to be both - like me ;D) vocally and physically often when more stressed, again hard to say for a Minecraft man, but I see him constantly moving like pacing the cell or jumping around and stuff as stimming and he does vocally stim on occasion as well.

Or in other words - Reasons I think c!Dream is autistic:

C!Dream = me, me = autistic -> c!Dream = autistic… boom, shortest essay ever XD lol jk 

But seriously it is a major reason. I read a tumblr c!Dream character analysis (don't remember who's) back before I even joined tumblr and related soo much, which is pretty concerning when you relate to a villain - because like wait does that make me a psychopath? but I have empathy and I care and I'm out to hurt people so why would I relate so much? And that's when I realized I think it is because he’s autistic like me so we think a like... I mean seriously the similarities are scarily uncanny down to things that have happened to me in real life…

Anyways, thank you for reading. I hope I made sense and got the idea across even by not going into super detail on all the points.

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 21: Exotic Creatures Of The Deep (Strange Animal)

Some of you might already have some idea of how absolutely abnormal I am about this album and have been for several months, without fail. It's... perfect? And you know that personal relevance will also often be a total game changer in deciding what your ultimate favourites are and such. It's personal relevance of my own doing anyway, if I can call it that, you know those memes that go something like "it's MY mental breakdown and *I* chose the soundtrack!!". Oh yeah, that's what happened here. But even that aside I might never get over how much ECOTD is EVERYTHING I might want from an album and it has not lost its power with passing time even one bit. I'm wary to call anything a number one definitive favourite most of the time, but if I really had to choose... yeah, this is my favourite album of all time, there's absolutely no denying that.

Where do I even start with this... Well, coming back a bit to the LB - HYL - ECOTD series as a whole, I love how all three of them have so much in common and each one is some sort of natural development on the previous one, keeping its core elements but also adding new ones that are unique to the new album. And I guess the style of ECOTD is the one that ended up speaking to me the most. Toning it down a bit on the repetition aspect, adding more fancy synths, heavy drums, more guitar-based stuff continuing from HYL... And its still edgier and more electronic and darker and theatrical than the previous ones. Maybe I could even call it straight up COOL sounding (at least at times) in a way that the previous ones aren't (or not quite as much). (And that's not to say that they're all not icredibly cool in their own way anyway, but, you know.) None of these three are definitely better than the others for me by the way, but. Still, love the whole evolution here a lot.

And now, of course, a word on the craziest and most ambitious idea of the century, the 21×21 shows. I spent about a month, if not more, earlier this year going through what I'm quite sure must be the majority of what's been recorded from these shows, and I have no regrets. And yeah, one of the most impressive feats in the history of music, playing 21 albums in full day after day, but also can we please talk about the visualisations they put there to go with the albums. Catching glimpses of those album covers being comically stretched or rotated and such was a very important part of the whole experience. But yeah, Sparks Spectacular, it really is so spectacular.

I actually do have specific favourites on this album rather than being obsessed with it all the same amount, but I think it deserves special treatment just like Lil' Beethoven, so, let's go, going over all of them now. And I think it's better to just dive straight into them now anyway, in order to get a better hang of this whole album and why it's so brilliant and special to me.

Intro + Intro Reprise

I love you leitmotifs that reappear throughout the album and tie it all together. Such a good touch on what is imo the most cinematic of Sparks albums

Good Morning

This happened a couple of times to me with Sparks, when I first hear a song and I'm quite intrigued and delighted but that's mostly it. And then I hear it once more after a while and I'm never the same again from that point on. THIS!!!!!! SONG!!!!! I was so right that I would love all of ECOTD even more than anything before it based just on this. This is the Russell falsetto album by the way, that's important to note. I'm very impressed by this song in many ways. I like that it starts with this specific synth sound that's VERY characteristic of this whole album. And the fake ending... This song has LB and HYL all over it but it's also its own beautiful thing

Strange Animal

This song has an effect of "stopping in my tracks the moment I hear the first note" on me to be honest, another one of my forever and biggest favourites. Right up there with all the other rocking epics to the likes of Ugly Guys With Beautiful Girls, Dick Around and As I Sit Down To Play The Organ. Sparks going meta on music & being a musician is also always very cool to see

I Can't Believe That You Would Fall For All The Crap In This Song

My first impression of what would become my most listened to Sparks song was a "wait, this was supposed to be a Sparks-only playlist, am I still listening to Sparks??" But a couple more months passed and what can I say, I'm obsessed now (and have been for over half a year now). The Maels saying "fuck you" to love songs & pop songs cliches will always be one of my favourite things about them... While they're also actively alluding to and using those cliches to create something very effective. I'm sure that it being so similar to the type of electro pop songs that were getting lots of radio play in the late 00s is why I'm so drawn to the sound here. It's always all about that nostalgia effect, huh (and this album is the absolute PEAK of "oh god why are all these songs so nostalgic to me I've only known them for this relatively short amount of time")

Let The Monkey Drive

This song ends what is probably my favourite 4 consecutive songs run on any album ever. Each is so mindblowing but in a different way. Best thing about this song to me is its atmopshere. It's just SO tangible. Like, this IS driving past the speed limit on a highway in the middle of the night (we can ignore the rest of what's happening in the story here for a moment). Obsessed with Russell's voice here and also it's so great to me how such a minimalistic approach can be so effective in creating this whole very specific mental image. Just unsettling strings in the back and two notes (or repeating chords) on the piano that are sort of the most prominent "melody" here and that's all you need. The suspense, the understatedness of it all, I love it

I've Never Been High

One of the most Sparks-like of Sparks songs in a way? And another one where I could probably start coming up with lyrical interpretations for on the spot. Lots to think about regarding all of these songs to be honest. And I like how the rising piano notes at the end lead into the descending flute (?) melody at the start of the next song

(She Got Me) Pregnant

Honestly, I absolutely love this song, it's one of my favourites on the album, maybe top five material. And it somehow sounds exactly like how I could have imagined it to sound, based on just its premise, I don't really know how that works but it does, lmao. And who else would give you this sort of song if not Sparks, no one

Lighten Up, Morrissey

Glam rock bliss that does not clash with the rest of the album despite being pretty stylistically different from the rest of it. Quite saddening that it's the only song here that has a music video, when there's SO MUCH potential here, seriously, again, this whole album is so cinematic. I do quite like what we got here though, love this era of Sparks ALSO when it comes to the visual side of it all (I keep saying this over and over), but still, there's so much more we could have had, y'know

This Is The Renaissance

GOOD GOD, I LOVE THIS ONE, in love with it from the first listen. It's everything that makes this album so grand and one-of-a-kind in a nutshell. Among the top 10 Sparks songs that should have had a music video also. I have a pretty elaborate painting idea based on this song in mind, so I hope I'll be able to make it into reality at some point in the future

The Director Never Yelled 'Cut'

List of Sparks songs where movie-directing is used as an allegory of sex is somehow at least two songs long I've noticed (this + Love Scenes). Anyway, this one's a pretty heavy one to unpack so I don't think I can really do it justice today. Love it just like every other song on here though

Photoshop

Another one that could have had such a killer music video. Again, stripped-down arrangement that's just enough to hit you with the right amount of feels and overall one of the most killer Ron piano master moments overall, now that I think about it. The plea of "photoshop me out of your life" sounds pretty... on-the-nose out of context? But again, Sparks magic makes it work anyway! And the 21×21 performance is in my top 10 Sparks live moments of all time (I don't actually have a list like this but, maybe I should make it now)

Likeable

...This is the song of all time to me. Honestly, give me any song pondering the nature of what it means to love vs what it means to like someone and things of such nature and you have me hooked forever. But even that aside, musically speaking, it's just... perfection. Most cinematic Sparks song overall maybe, it's really just like a little movie, every moment is so perfectly timed and measured, I have no words honestly, for just, how incredible it all is. The melodic aspect now, it makes me so emotional, one of the most likely of Sparks song to make me cry, for real. I could start going over every different part of the song now but honestly, they're all just, equally amazing. Special shoutout to the waltz parts though, and the bridge. Oooohhh the bridge, when it all gets so intense, and then the main melody reappears with an acoustic guitar, it's just, peak of it all. And then the intro leitmotif comes back again and it's just?!?.?? My feelings on this song might even still not be fully comprehensible and clear to me. All in all, couldn't imagine a better album closer than this, hands down. And this song also closing the Sparks Spectacular series of shows, yeah (not counting the encore). Oh man. Oh maaannnnn. What a freaking ride.

[maulfucker]

time for clones

[becauseplot]

*returns to yours* I HAVE THOUGHTS! NOT COHERENT ONES TOO SLEEPY AND NEED TO SAVE COHERENCY BUT THOUGHTS!!! MOSTLY ABOUT ISLAND TEAPARTIES AFTER THE KIDS ARE ASLEEP WHERE CELLBIT AND PHILZA DRINK TEA AND PHILZA TEACHES CELLBIT ABOUT STARS AND CELLBIT SLOWLY GETS BACK INTO HIS ENIGMAS AND THEY BOTH BITCH ABOUT TEA BUT DRINK IT ANYWAY BECAUSE IT HAS GOOD STATS

YEAAH!! YEAHHH!!! Okay okay okay so I meant to ramble more earlier when you initially responded to my ask and then I got sleepy and conked out and now it's super early for me, nailed it lmaooo. so anyway just like a couple things i noticed abt this scene *rolls out a scroll of notes, the bottom hits the floor and bounces out the door cartoon-style*

Chayanne gives Cellbit a rose!! Idk if Rose still has influence here (I'll have to sift through Phil's VOD to see if he says anything abt Rose, yesterday I mainly watched Cellbit's POV) but he's protected now!! That kinda folds him into Phil's "closer" circle of friends/family since it's primarily them who carries the roses for protection so!!!!! I'm!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE TEA!! Yes the tea the way the tea immediately broaches the topic of purgatory, and yeah the audible wince in Phil's voice after Cellbit says the tea triggers him and Phil agrees. Yeah it's so shit and they're both so sick of it but it's so OP. Phil survivalist (hardcore) :handshake: Cellbit survivalist (hunger games/"The War"), do and use what is necessary to keep yourself alive.

And AAA!! Yes, okay okay so like you remember that idea abt Phil and Cellbit having late-night convos at the Order pre-purgatory? This is basically that!! It's late at night, they're getting caught up with each other, they've both got the shitass tea and it's going cold and!! In my head this scene goes on for a full night and they just sit and talk and talk and talk, eventually conking out when it's late, just like old times EXCEPT THEY HAVE THEIR KIDS NOW WHICH IS ONE OF THE THINGS THAT BROUGHT THEM TOGETHER, THEIR DESIRE TO FIND THEIR KIDS, AND THEY FOUND THEM!!! (I should write a fic i NEED to write a fic, me vs the 754389 wips in my brain; in my head they still had late night convos in purgatory when their "play time" timers lined up, phil waking up early enough and cellbit staying up late enough for them to talk while the others slept)

The way Cellbit still minces his words abt what he and Bags did post-purg 1 "we had our fun...bolas...style..." is it because he thinks Phil will think less of him? because there's children present? because his SON is present? idk how much Richas knows abt what Cellbit did in purgatory, Richas *did* rescue him while he was fighting eye workers but does he know about Cellbit hunting fellow players for sport? what Cellbit did to his pai Pac? I NEED ANSWERS

Phil's "Dude! No! Oh my god... D:" to when Cellbit says Roier was better off without him. PHIL WAS AT THEIR WEDDING. HE TOOK THE GODDAMN PHOTOS OF THEM AT THEIR WEDDING. HE SAW HOW HAPPY THEY WERE, HOW HAPPY ROIER WAS, WHEN THEY WERE REUNITED IN PURGATORY. Phil isn't close enough to Roier nor speaks to him enough to really understand the full extent of Roier's grief after purgatory 1, but it's gotta be hard for Phil to imagine Roier happy with Cellbit gone. Whether he believes it when Cellbit says "yeah Roier told me he was better" (doied WHEN I GET YOU---) is up for debate but I think about this constantly.

Phil fucking laughing when Cellbit admits he ate some of the eye workers fhdjsk. I can't get over the combo of Cellbit POV (in character thinking: "I'm terrible I'm a cannibal I'm a monster") vs Philza POV (cc who laughs at everything that is even remotely cursed) honestly, taking this as in-character (bc ccPhil doesn't mute his mic to laugh and he...usually does that for ooc bits while in the middle of rp), it says a lot abt qPhil that he's able to just laugh abt an admission of eating corpses. ethics who? geneva convention who? qPhil doesn't know her. munch on those eye workers king they're dickheads. (fuck, DOES qPhil know that Cellbit is a cannibal, as in, he has eaten not just workers but other players?? hmmm...)

"I'm sorry I couldn't do much as bolas leader" "It's better that you didn't see us...I think you'll be disappointed" "oh I could never be disappointed what do you mean shut up *laughs*" GODDDDDDDD also Cellbit trying to say he got worse after purg 1 and Phil saying "nah bolas is already at ground level" (either not understanding or indirectly reiterating that he won't condemn Cellbit for his actions, I can't tell) and then Cellbit just,, going with it. because it's not worth it to argue and he's trying to move past all of that now anyway. (QCELLBIT PROCESS YOUR TRAUMA CHALLENGE LEVEL IMPOSSIBLE)

watching Phil's POV now and HFDJSK you can't hear it on Cellbit's stream but Phil catches Richas as they're both leaving and says quietly, "Take care of your dad, Richas, n' take care." I'M 💥💥💥💥 (<-banging table)

Anyway!! This is what happens when the two characters I'm obsessed with interact for the first time in months. Over-analyzing a 5 minute convo. Sorry, it will happen again :] Praying they stay as neighbors I'd love to see archivists have more interactions!! And yes yes yes yes the tea parties with the kids!! Phil routinely chatting with Cellbit and watching him slowly "regain his color" as he settles back into peaceful life post-purgatory, falls in love with enigmas again. They've always trusted each other when they don't trust themselves, and they're both a Stable Point for the other. I'll miss what we never got to have with the leaders-of-the-Order-having-meetings ideas (timezones, wails) but I'm so excited for new island mysteries!! :D

[lairn]

Top Wishlist Songs for the Upcoming Will Wood Concert:

Cicada Days: The high-volume "whisper" + "red flags fade to white" are made to be heard live I think. Although my favorite part is "okay I'll pack my stuff."

Euthanasia: I will cry

I/Me/Myself: is he gonna shriek a variation of the lyrics? I wanna know

White Noise: I want to shout, "yes it cures cancer"

Love, Me Normally: just a banger and would probably be a good show ender

Against the Kitchen Floor: the way it builds towards the end would be awesome live

Memento Mori: Clapping and cheering :)

The "must I need a reason? I just wanna hear them" list:

Becoming the Lastnames Laplace's Angel Marsha, Thankk You... Well, Better than the Alternative When Somebody Needs You Sex, Drugs, Rock 'n' Roll Half-Decade Hangover

[hollowsart]

many many years ago I had discovered and come across a small channel on youtube called "Deceased Crab" and I believe that was during the time I was in a phase of interest with the whole Knytt Stories thing, curious and looking at the other games by its creator. I saw a game called "Within A Deep Forest" and I believe this is the game that I first came across Deceased Crab playing. (I also watched his Knytt & Knytt Stories videos, too)

At some point I also discovered 2 other games that he played and I really enjoyed those two other playthroughs he did. those games being Karoshi ('death by over work', wild game, don't look it up if you have trouble with SH), and a small game called Eversion (criminally underrated, personally. it's short but really neat and I think if it came out now, people would latch onto it cuz of its cute appearance but secretly darker side)

there were a couple other games I had watched that he'd played (L'Abbaye Des Morts, and I think the Trilby's Notes series (ie 5 days a stranger, etc) and Monster Party, just to name a few) and tbh idk why I stopped watching his videos.

But, for awhile I had wondered where he went cuz I hadn't seen any videos of his in a long time, but I've looked at the channel just recently and he still uploads videos. It's nice to see tbh a pleasant change from a lot of stuff happening with creators on youtube in recent years, especially creators who have been big or small, new or been here since the early days of the site. Happy to see the guy is still vibing and making content that he enjoys and has no desire to monetize his videos or join anything/do partnerships. he's just doing his own little thing how he pleases.

his microphone quality was upgraded after a year and it seems, listening to a little of his most recent upload, he's still got a similar quality to the mic, but overall, despite the clear change in his voice over the years and all, he still seems to have the same level of enthusiasm and chill as he did before with his commentary and manner of speech.

glad to see this guy is still doing something he likes after 17 whole years of doing it. genuinely really nice to see people grow, but still remain themselves after so long. some things change, but some things don't and that's okay, not everything has to change.

[zappedbyzabka]

I feel like a lot of the women Johnny attracts are women who know how to peg…

[viric-dreams]

⚠️ for them ALLLLL!

- @zeebreezin

Warning:

Ockham: Holds long grudges.

Roberts: Has shrimp neuroses.

Nite: Will sell you to January for one corn chip.

Tamara: Will agree to what you say with no intention of doing it to avoid hurting your feelings.

Jones: Utterly useless in a high-stress situation.

Rubbery Barber Surgeon: For the love of fuck do not try to pay in amber.

Graham: Girl, run.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Hrmm... put together a roommates quiz finally after years of thinking it would be an interesting idea lol.. Though obviously not meant to be taken super seriously, I just like thinking about this aspect of personality compatibility. Like yeah, maybe you could get along with someone just chatting with them, but living together is such a different thing. .. curiouse...

[cctinsleybaxter]

2023 in Books

I need to stop bragging that I’ve got this reading thing all figured out, because man if 2023 wasn’t a year of terrible books. I liked less than half of the 37 I read and nothing quite gripped me in the way it has in years past… but to put it more optimistically I liked a full third of what I read, and the ones I liked best were a fascinating and unexpected silver lining. Without further ado:

Cyrano de Bergerac by Edmond Rostand, trans. Brian Hooker

Tell this all to the world- and then to me. Say very softly that… she loves you not.

I read a couple of plays this year for the first time since college and liked them fine, but there’s a reason this has been adapted five million times. Everyone go watch Megamind right now.

Wylding Hall by Elizabeth Hand

Of all the found footage-inspired horror fiction I’ve read this one makes the best case for existing in its chosen medium, as a 70s UK folk rock band are interviewed about the summer they spent recording what would become their final album [thunder crashes.] It reminded me of a Tana French mystery in its language and ability to make space feel lived-in; the character writing is so strong I realized that at some point I had stopped checking the interview headings to know who was speaking. Hand unfortunately distrusts her audience to read between the lines at a few crucial moments (and ruins what would have been a perfect ending and a deeply affecting scare by gilding the lily, or, in this case, photograph), but I love that she went from seemingly by-the-numbers American YA fiction to a meticulously-researched and truly unique horror novella. Puts other writers working in the genre to shame.

A Kiss Before Dying by Ira Levin

Reminiscent of the best kind of TCM suspense thriller (and was adapted into one), but could only exist as a book for the kind of narrative tactics it employs. Levin is brilliant at setting and character; I think any one of his contemporaries would have leaned into archetypes for this sort of story, and he instead distinguishes his proper nouns in subtle, clever ways that lend them the weight a noir needs. Can’t wait to read more of his stuff!

All the Names They Used for God by Anjali Sachdeva

I’d like to know why this anthology got hit with what a friend has termed a pottery barn throw pillow cover + a ‘the tiny things we know to be small’ title, because the eponymous story isn’t even called that! It’s just The Names They Used for God, and is, appropriately, about two women kidnapped by a religious extremist group. High risk-high reward; I think taken at their base premise the stories could have been insufferable and are instead strange, compelling, and fantastical. There’s a methodicalness and, I don't know, lack of whimsy? to them that’s unusual for fantasy, but also an absence of any one goal or moral in the way Le Guin speaks so highly of. It made me feel the way I did reading and adoring Kelly Link in middle school, and Sachdeva has a much different style that I guess works all the better on adults. My favorite was Robert Greenman and the Mermaid.

Seabiscuit: An American Legend by Lauren Hillenbrand

Someone recommended this to me via Tumblr anon over five years ago, so let me start by saying if that was you I’d like to thank you properly! This book rules! It was written in ‘99 so falls prey to a very specific kind of jingoism, but the mechanics of that are interesting in and of themself. Seabiscuit the animal is a lens through which to view turn-of-the-20th-century America written from the precipice of the 21st; his story told through the expertly-researched biographies of his owner, trainer, and jockey. Hillenbrand is not only a good pop nonfiction historian, but has been a sports writer since the 80s and I never imagined the genre could be so thrilling as I did reading her work. Horse racing is insane and no one should be riding these things btw.

The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton

It was one of the great livery-stableman’s most masterly intuitions to have discovered that Americans want to get away from amusement even more quickly than they want to get to it.

Wharton came from old money New York*, was deeply disillusioned with it and pined for rational (i.e., even more insane) social and political scenes, had myriad thoughts about women and gender relations, and held a love for interior design. I learned all of this after reading but it’s apparent on every page; deeply funny and perceptive, fantastic use of language, the moments where it lost me completely nothing if not interesting. What sticks with me the most are a flair for the operatic and an ability to voice both the feeling and consequences of losing oneself to imagined scenarios. Read the pink parasol scene.

*Ancient Money New York; the saying ‘keeping up with the Joneses’ is apocryphally attributed to her father’s side of the family

Owls of the Eastern Ice: A Quest to Find and Save the World's Largest Owl by Jonathan S. Slaght

We’d return to our camp to huddle in the freezing tent and wait for our owls in silence, like suitors agonizing over a phone that never rings.

One of the better pieces of science writing I’ve read in a long time, as Slaght frames rural communities as a quintessential part of ecology rather than a barrier to it. His style is amiable and matter-of-fact (sometimes overly so; the amount of metric GIS directions, help), but he's super engaging and clearly holds just as much compassion for people and history as he does animals and natural landscapes. The Blakiston’s fish owls he’s studying are described as unreal, with hoots so low and quiet it sounds like someone has thrown them under a blanket. You can listen to them here.

Piranesi by Susanna Clarke

Took my breath away and surprised me in a way a book hasn’t in years. I'd read Clarke’s 2004 novel when I was maybe fourteen and had vaguely positive but mostly neutral memories of it, and Piranesi being sci-fi-fantasy that came recommended by Tiktok had me very dubious. I ended up devouring it in the way I haven’t read books since I was fourteen; more of a mystery than the suspected high fantasy, with characters I would do disservice to in trying to describe in brief. While the mystery isn’t difficult to ‘solve’ (I’d argue the book also skews young!), the story ends in a way that’s both deeply unexpected and in the only way it could have.

Honorable mentions

The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas, trans. Peter Washington

[Jigsaw voice] Every man has a devouring passion in his heart as every fruit has its worm.

I spent so much time running my mouth about this one on Tumblr there’s really not much left to say. I think it’s a work of genius that was physically exhausting to read, and I’m sticking it with the honorable mentions mostly because I remember The Three Musketeers being the better book. If you want to read Dumas- and you should- start with that one.

Jonny Appleseed by Joshua Whitehead

I would’ve liked this more had I read it in my late teens/early 20s, but I still think it’s pretty good and would absolutely recommend to anyone in that age bracket. Things that normally annoy me about philosophical first-person lit fic didn’t matter under the weight of Jon’s narratorial voice. He reminded me a little of Lynda Barry’s Maybonne in his understanding and depictions of community and family; his stream of consciousness letting contradictions sit rather than trying to explain them away (Whitehead also makes sex very prosaic and pretty-sounding while still being frank and gross about it, which is a rare talent!)

The Seeds of Life: From Aristotle to da Vinci, from Sharks' Teeth to Frogs' Pants, the Long and Strange Quest to Discover Where Babies Come From by Edward Dolnik

This one fell in the rankings because the writing isn’t my favorite (think early days Vulture article rather than NYT), but I cannot stop referencing it in conversation. I want to read the whole thing to people and make them understand how truly unfathomable it is not only that every one of us is the product of 1 sperm and 1 egg, but that anyone ever figured out how that process works. When Western Europeans first started using microscopes they studied water; there were gross little bugs in there to watch and enjoy, so when semen was revealed to have its own bugs no one was shocked, but they also weren’t impressed. We would not see one enter an egg until EIGHTEEN SEVENTY-FIVE.  

Killer Dolphin by Ngaio Marsh

The Malaise of First Night Nerves had gripped Peregrine, not tragically and aesthetically by the throat but, as is its habit, shamefully in the guts.

Has made it into my top 5 favorite Inspector Alleyn mysteries. I’m not keen on Marsh’s theater settings (and there are a LOT of them), but a convoluted setup made this one all the more rewarding. The final revelation as to a point of blackmail is visceral and bizarre in a way I haven’t seen from her before.

The Wretched of the Earth by Frantz Fanon

We all have dirty hands; we are all soiling them in the swamps of our country and in the terrifying emptiness of our brains. Every onlooker is either a coward or a traitor.

Best read in conversation with other writers, I wouldn’t recommend Fanon as the end-all-be-all introduction to communist and socialist thinking (the fact that he inadvertently describes what was going wrong with the USSR at time of writing is fascinating), but he explicitly invites that conversation and the value and impact of his work really can’t be overstated. Our points of disagreement tend to be in regard to nationalism, not his condonation of violence.

Persuasion by Jane Austen

Fascinating to see how Austen was thinking about relationships near the end of her short life. I laughed to see the idea of preferring your brother-in-law’s family to your own was back in full force from my own favorite Emma, as well as an eleventh-hour ‘maybe I should ship the villains??’ My biggest issue is that, like Emma, Persuasion is written in third person limited narration, but Anne is fundamentally Good™ so doesn’t need to learn anything about herself or the world; critic Bob Irvine points out that she and her dashing, misogynistic sailor are beset rather than changed by it. That said I love a people being beset by people (concussed temptresses) places (Bath) and things (cars), and Austen's writing style is really firing on all cylinders here.

[trainingdummyrabbit]

iam quickly finding my lobcorp experience is Not universal

[ismyteadoneyet]

" 'You are angry, my Scion. In pain.' 'Yes' 'Good. Then I will show you why dragons never die.' " - 'ʙʟᴏᴏᴅᴍᴀʀᴋᴇᴅ' ʙʏ ᴛʀᴀᴄʏ ᴅᴇᴏɴɴ, ᴘᴀɢᴇ 372

drawn as per request by our lovely Legendborn anon <3 there are no demons in this one but I'll make sure to include them next time lol

[darabeatha]

<- the shepherd in question

[ghostlyheart]

In small joys, I finally hit my reading goal for the first time in a few years! I've been setting it at 12 (so like a book a month) for a while, which is realize isn't a lot but I'm more concerned with building the habit and making it achievable. These are mostly novellas (sub-200 pages), loosely in order of how much I enjoyed them from greatest to least