#one more item off the list! the very. very long list of things I wanna draw for these lads

[b4kuch1n]

and the storm he was driving/washed it away/in the eye there was a silence

[minisugakoobies]

Whipped | KMG

Pairing: Mingyu x GNReader (no agab)

Genre: fluff, idiots to lovers, slightly crack-ish, non-idol!AU

Rating: T

Warnings: Mingyu's a stubborn idiot, but he's also the softest human alive, Minghao's kind of a jerk tbh, use of they/them pronouns for reader, this is honestly just fluffy nonsense meant to give you warm fuzzies

Word Count: 3.9k

Disclaimers: Obviously I don’t own SVT - they just inspire me

Summary: No matter what his friends say, Mingyu is definitely, absolutely, one hundred percent not whipped for you.

A/N: Yep, another Mingyu fic. I can't help it. 🤷‍♀️

Unbeta’d as usual. If you liked this, please let me know! I’d love to hear what you think (but please be kind I’m fragile 🥺) 💕

SVT Masterlist 💜 Main Masterlist

Kim Mingyu is not whipped.

This is what he forcefully reminds himself when you walk into Minghao’s party, looking sweeter than a spring day, a phrase which if he’s being honest is maybe a little more poetic than he’d normally use. That’s okay. He can be a little dramatic if he wants. Why not? Seokmin does it all the time and no one bats an eye.

In any case. Mingyu is not whipped.

That’s why he turns his head, pretending he doesn’t see you dazzle everyone around you with your beautiful smile. While he’s pretending, he also acts like he can’t feel his own lips tug upwards at the soft chime of your laughter, a Pavlovian response to your happiness. No, his smile is unrelated to whatever you’re doing. He’s just in a good mood, one that didn’t suddenly ascend to the heavens when you entered the room.

Mingyu’s not whipped.

He sinks further into the couch where he’s sitting, a little off to the side of where Minghao, Jeonghan, and Seokmin are talking. Theoretically, he’s part of the conversation, adding the occasional hum or laugh, but he’s really not contributing much of anything. He’s too busy thinking about you. Not like that. 

(But not not like that, either.) 

In any case, Mingyu remains firmly unwhipped - solid, unshaken, definitely not falling apart over you. He’ll be absolutely fine, as long as you stay on the other side of the room, where your charms can’t reach him. Except that he can’t stop watching you, and now you’re looking at him, and even though he averts his eyes, it’s too late. He can sense you walking towards him, his heartbeat increasing with every step you take.

Not. Whipped. 

“Hey there, stranger.” 

Instinctively, at the sound of your voice, he glances up at you, like a flower tilting its face towards your light. He nods at your greeting, mumbling a hello of his own. The others sitting around him all greet you as well, but you merely nod in reply, your full attention on Mingyu. 

“Do you wanna tell me why you’ve been avoiding me?”

If Mingyu had a list of things he loved about you, which he does not, being straightforward would be near the top. Of this totally fictional list that does not exist. He admires it, actually, the way you have no patience for dishonesty or deception.

Even though your question is blunt, your smile remains soft as you wait for his response, and Mingyu rethinks his ranking. Item number one on that imaginary list - the way you smile, at him, specifically. It’s so warm, like being hugged by the rays of the sun itself. It makes him happier than he ever thought possible. He wants to curl up like a cat and bask in the feeling. If he’s not careful, he might start purring right now.

He’s totally super normal about you.

“Me?” he asks, stalling for time, praying that a somewhat reasonable explanation falls into his lap in the meantime. He’s only a fair-to-moderate bullshitter, so his hopes are low. He can feel the others staring at the two of you, very obviously listening, because no one in your friend group seems to respect boundaries. It’s not helping. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean,” you chirp back, and he does, he knows exactly what you mean, just like you know exactly what he’s doing. “You’ve been ignoring my texts. What’s going on?”

What’s going on is that Mingyu is not whipped, even if it feels like his insides are turning to melty goo beneath your inquisitive gaze. 

“I’m not ignoring you. I’ve just been busy,” he shoots, aiming for breezy and landing just shy of nonchalant. 

“Busy doing what?” 

“You know. Stuff.” Oh god, he really sucks at this. “And things.” Jesus Christ.

You fold your arms, and Mingyu thinks it’s cute the way you’re squinting at him, one eye closed as you assess his response. Unbearably cute, actually, and getting worse the longer it goes on.

“Yeahhhh, that’s not good enough,” you inform him, and with one hand on his arm (Mingyu ignores the electric current that lights up his nervous system when you touch him. It’s just static and definitely not anything else), you pull him to his feet and lead him out of Minghao’s apartment and into the empty hallway. He follows, not because he’d follow you anywhere, but because he’s curious.

Once the door is closed behind you, you turn to him, a serious expression on your face. “Gyu. Be honest with me.” Always, he thinks reflexively. “This is about what those guys said the other night, isn’t it?” 

Of course you know exactly what it is that has his head spinning right now. The two of you have been friends for ages, but Mingyu still can’t get over how easily you always seem to read him. 

A few nights ago, Mingyu and you had been out to dinner with a few others, and it had been like any other time you were hanging out with your friends, lots of laughing and teasing and just being happy dumbasses together. Only on this particular evening, the food had taken a very long time to arrive, but the drinks kept coming in the meanwhile, and you’d gotten a little drunker than usual, and a little clingier, sticking to Mingyu like a magnet.

Not that Mingyu minded having you hanging on his side all night. Nor did he mind keeping a close eye on you, making sure you were drinking your water and eating to help soak up some of the alcohol. None of that bothered him at all - you were his best friend; why wouldn’t he take care of you? Especially when you smiled at him and thanked him for being so sweet, so good to you, over and over.

(He can’t even begin to explain how that made him feel.)

The others noticed. And commented. Mingyu tried to ignore them, but they just wouldn’t shut up. By the time they joked that Mingyu was your trained puppy, suggesting you buy him a pretty collar and a leash to go with it, he’d had enough.

And when he tried to express that, Minghao had shut him down with a scoff, a wave of his hand, and one word. 

“Whipped.” 

Mingyu admits that he’s a lot of things, but he’s not a whipped man. He’s not. He’s not, no matter what the others say. No matter how you’re looking at him right now, concern etched all over your lovely face, lip tucked between your teeth as you wait for his answer. He’s strong. And proud. 

(And maybe a stubborn idiot, but that’s neither here nor there.)

He considers just not responding at all, but he knows how persistent you are, so he settles for a half-shrug. You sigh, leaning back against the wall, arms crossing in front of you. 

“You’re being ridiculous, you know that?” you say softly, shaking your head. “They were joking. They said so! And you know I didn’t take it seriously for a second.” 

“You didn’t hear everything they said!” he protests, crossing his own arms. You’d missed most of the barbs flying his way that night, too busy enjoying yourself. Which weirdly made him happy. He hated the thought of those guys ruining your night. “They said I was your pet!” 

“So? Jeonghan always tells Seokmin he’s got the zoomies when he gets hyper. He knows he’s not actually a dog! It’s just stupid jokes! Our friends are dumb!” you laugh, throwing up your hands. “That’s what we like about them!”

Mingyu can’t help it, he starts to laugh with you, but then he catches himself, shaking his head. “You don’t get it.” 

“Then help me understand.” 

How can he help you understand, when he’s not entirely sure he understands it himself, this storm inside him, clouding his mind? 

“I…” He glances wildly around the hallway, but there’s nothing out here to help him. He can hear the bass from whatever song is playing inside the party, a low, steady thrumming that contrasts the erratic thumping of his heart. “I don’t like being called weak.”

You tilt your head. “Is that what they said?” 

“Yeah. Or I guess… they implied it. When they said I was whipped for you.” He lets out a frustrated sigh, knowing he’s pouting and it doesn’t help his defense, but it’s just his default setting. “But I’m not.” 

Because he’s staring into your eyes as he speaks, he catches it - the quick expression of sorrow that pinches your brow at his explanation - but it’s fleeting, gone in an instant. If he weren’t watching your face so intently, he would’ve missed it. 

“Gyu,” you sigh, the corners of your mouth lifting in what is clearly meant to be a smile, except it doesn’t reach your eyes, and for a moment, the confusing tide of emotions inside him still, and he feels only sadness. That’s not how you smile. “Can you please let it go? Everyone was being an idiot. That’s nothing new! Besides…” You trail off, staring at the floor.

He waits a beat. “Besides what?”

You huff and shrug. “It’s nothing, forget it.” 

The uncertainty in your tone unnerves Mingyu even more than your fake smile. Where’s that directness of yours? 

“No, tell me. Besides what?” 

With a deep breath, you look him straight in the eye. “Besides, I’m not delusional. I know you don’t like me like that. I’m not your type.” 

Your voice grows quieter at the end of your sentence, just as the music coming from the other side of the door fades out, and to Mingyu, the silence only amplifies your words, leaving them ringing loudly in his ears like a sonic boom. You’re not his type?

He blinks rapidly, as if that will somehow help. 

“You - you’re not - “ He pauses, searching fruitlessly for the end of his sentence, but it’s nowhere to be found.

“Right. I’m not.” 

The laugh you let out sounds so fake that he winces, and a terrible realization hits him. You’ve taken his stammering to be a complete thought - a confirmation of what you’d said, that you aren’t someone he’d like like that. Curling in on yourself, arms wrapping around your stomach, you shrink away from him, only a few inches but the distance feels so vast. 

“Let’s just forget about it, okay?” 

Mingyu’s speechless. As his silence grows, so does the space between the two of you, until you’re standing by the door, hand on the knob. He feels like he should be doing something right now, snapping into action of some sort, but his brain is still stuck on your declaration.

“Okay,” he finally croaks, because it’s clear that you’re waiting for him to speak, and he doesn’t know what else to do but agree with you, because you’re usually right and he usually agrees with you. 

“Right,” you say again, but you look slightly unsure, and it rattles Mingyu, making him feel even more unsettled than before. “Okay.” And then you open the door and slip back inside Minghao’s apartment.

Alone in the hallway, Mingyu slumps against the wall. Well. That was a spectacular failure. He’d tried to explain how their comments upset him and all he’d done was upset you. The shift in your demeanor was so obvious to him, a flashing neon sign basically screaming “you fucked up!” in blazing red light. 

He gives himself a minute to try to pull himself together, then he returns to the party. As soon as he’s inside, he scans the room, until he finds you standing in the corner, hanging out with another friend, Chan, talking and laughing like everything is fine. Which, as Mingyu feels deep in the pit of his stomach, he knows it is not. 

His previously vacated spot on the couch remains open, so he slips back into it, ignoring the curious looks of his friends. He doesn’t want to answer any stupid questions right now, doesn’t want to deal with any of their crap while he tries to wrap his head around what just happened in the hallway. 

Naturally, his friends immediately start nosing into his business.

“What was that all about?” Minghao asks, turning to face Mingyu. Seokmin and Jeonghan both twist towards him, eager to hear his answer. 

“What was what about?” Mingyu replies, eyes flitting to you again. Chan must be bringing his A game with his jokes tonight, because you’re giggling Mingyu’s favorite giggle, the one that makes your nose twitch like a little bunny’s. It always makes him swell with pride when he coaxes it out of you with one of his dumb jokes, so seeing it right now and knowing he’s not the cause of it, well, it’s not exactly helping improve his mood.

“What was that dramatic exit?” Minghao gestures towards the door. 

“It was nothing. We were just talking.” Again he looks at you. And again, your attention is focused solely on the man beside you. Mingyu doesn’t understand. Can’t you feel him looking at you? 

“Uh-huh. Sure,” Jeonghan drawls, miming the crack of a whip with his hand. Seokmin and Minghao crack up beside Mingyu, but he doesn’t care. He’s too busy trying to catch your eye. He wants to see you smile at him. Just one smile. That’s all he needs to make him feel better. 

His friends lose interest in teasing him when he doesn’t respond, and the conversation moves on. As does the evening. Mingyu bonds with the couch, not leaving except to grab refills of his drink, but otherwise he’s a fixed point in this party, unlike you, who are constantly moving, floating from friend to friend, spreading joy across the room.

Spreading joy to everyone except him, that is. No matter how much he watches you, your light never shines on him again, not like it did earlier. He knows what this is. You’re the one doing the avoiding now. And oh my god does he hate it. He feels cold and lonely, withering away, dying for your attention. For your affection. Because he needs it to thrive.

Oh. 

Oh wow, he’s stupid. The others are right. 

Kim Mingyu is whipped. 

For you, and you only. 

Like it has been every few minutes since he returned from the hallway, his gaze is drawn back to you, and this time, it’s different. Because the mask you’ve been wearing all night finally slips, and Mingyu sees the wrinkle of your brow, and the slight downturn of your mouth, and he understands. You’re just as miserable as he is.

That absolutely will not do. He needs to fix this right now.

Mingyu rises to his feet again, not even waiting for Minghao to finish the story he’s been telling, not that he’s been listening anyway, and starts walking towards you. When he’s a mere arm’s length away, it occurs to him that he doesn’t have any plan, just an urgent need to make you look happy again. And also pay attention to him, because he needs your attention just like he needs you, so he panics, and grabs your hand. 

You look at him in surprise as his fingers slip between yours.

“Come with me. Please,” he adds, a bit hasty in his anxiousness, already tugging you out of the room and into the hallway. A pair of voices follow you both out, as Minghao and Jeonghan both jeer loudly at the sight of Mingyu dragging you away, but thankfully the door drowns them out, letting only the beat of the music through.   Which would be a good thing, except that now it’s just Mingyu and a very quiet you. With your hand still in his. 

“Is everything o-”

“You are my type.” 

You start speaking at the same time he does, but he’s louder, blurting his entire sentence out before you can finish yours. Your mouth freezes in an ‘o,’ and oh, Mingyu can’t believe what a dumbass he’s been for so long. How did everyone else see it but him? 

“I just. Wanted you to know. That you are the type of person. That I like.” Why can’t. He complete. A whole sentence? “Smart, funny, gorgeous….” 

You glance away from him, suddenly shy at that last word, and it just reinforces Mingyu’s point. 

Unfortunately, it does not make it any easier for him to say what he’s trying to say.

“But you’re not just my type? You’re the person I like. Hao’s right. They’re all right. I am whipped for you.” He frowns. “Damn it, I hate it when Hao’s right.” 

That makes you laugh, a quick “ha!” that makes your eyes light up, and Mingyu finds himself feeling stronger, so he doubles down. Might as well own it. 

“But he did, he got this one right. I’m down bad.” He brings your entwined hands up, clutching them in front of him, maybe pressing his luck a little, maybe laying it on thick, but it’s barely an exaggerated version of the truth if it’s not pure simple fact. 

“‘Gyu,” you groan, rolling your eyes, but there’s a twitch in the corner of your mouth that won’t cease, and it makes his heart sing. “Knock it off. I know what you’re doing.”

“I don’t think you do.” He takes a deep breath and steps forward, backing you into the wall behind you. Your hands are caught between you, and he presses the palm of yours against his chest, wondering if you feel the spike in his heartbeat when you inhale sharply. 

“Maybe you should tell me,” you say, eyes wide but voice calm, and again, he marvels at how you strike straight at the heart of the matter, and he decides he can do the same. 

“I’m telling you that I like you.”

The next few seconds are the longest in Mingyu’s life. Nothing has ever lasted this long in the history of time. Entire civilizations are built and fall within the blink of your eyelashes. You keep looking back and forth between his eyes, and he hopes that you see whatever it is you need to believe him, and tries his best to convey clearly what he feels. Even if he’s having trouble speaking his thoughts, at least his gaze can express it. 

“You like me…” 

He nods. “A lot.” Now that he’s said it out loud, it’s hitting him just how much.  

“You like me…” you start again slowly, frowning slightly, “but you don’t like it when others point that out?” 

“I just - “ Mingyu breaks off, a sharp puff of breath exploding out in frustration. How to explain it? “I didn’t like them saying it the way they did. It… it made me feel like they were calling me weak or something.” Your frown deepens and he stumbles on. “But - but that’s stupid, and I know it’s stupid. And I - I don’t care anymore.” 

He clings to your hands, a lifeboat in a sea of turmoil, the warmth of your fingers locked between his giving him hope that this isn’t going completely downhill, this sudden confession of his. It’d be just like him to ruin this with his impatience. He’s always too eager. 

“So what do you care about?” you ask, gaze burning into his. 

And then there’s you. Always so calm and direct. God, he adores you. 

“You. How you feel.” 

As soon as the words leave his lips, you lower your eyes, in the briefest of glances at his mouth, and Mingyu feels that electric shock again, tingling all the way to his fingertips. He barely breathes as he waits for you to speak.

“If you really are whipped for me,” you finally say, “you should go tell them that.” You jerk your chin in the direction of the door.

If that’s what you want, then that’s what he’ll do. Without a second’s hesitation, Mingyu spins, his hand gripping yours to pull you back into the apartment with him. 

Seokmin gawks openly as Mingyu stomps across the room. Minghao and Jeonghan exchange a glance that last night would’ve set Mingyu spiraling, but now rolls off him like water. Mingyu comes to a stop directly in front of his friends, squaring his shoulders, trying frantically to corral his thoughts into something coherent. 

But before he can open his mouth, Minghao leans forward, placing his chin in his hand. “Shhh, guys, I think the puppy’s going to speak!” 

“Hao, shut the fuck up.” 

Minghao bristles when Mingyu snaps at him. Jeonghan and Seokmin both cackle, but then Mingyu glares at the two of them, and they fall silent. He takes a deep breath. 

“I just wanted you to know that I don’t care what you guys say about me anymore, because I like YN.” 

The words spill out of him so easily, not even the tiniest nudge needed. He glances at you to find you wearing a delighted expression and his heart goes buoyant again. He decides to ride the wave. 

“They’re amazing. I’d do anything to make them smile, so if that makes me whipped, then I guess I’m fucking whipped.” 

He’s facing you now, not caring if the others can see the obvious lovestruck look in his eye as he keeps talking, not to them, but to you. Aware that they’re probably all smirking at one another, because they figured it out before he did, but he doesn’t give a single goddamn. 

“I can’t get enough of their smile. And the way they laugh. I like how sweet they are. How honest.” Mingyu can’t stop talking at this point. It’s all gotta come out. “But never mean about it. Even when it’s something you don’t want to hear. Especially when it’s something you need to hear.” 

Your hand twitches in his with every sentence he states. He squeezes back gently as his statements get louder.

“I’m not kidding when I say I’d do anything to make them smile. I’d walk the ocean floor for them. Climb a volcano and surf the lava down barefoot. Capture a star fr-”

“Oh my god, we get it, you like them!” Jeonghan rolls his eyes. “Enough with the bad poetry.” 

“Also? We know.” Minghao snorts. “No need for the dramatic announcement, it’s not news.” 

Mingyu barely hears him, too lost in the way you’re smiling at him now. Forget his earlier rankings. This smile beats all the others. Shoots directly to the top of the list, which, now that he thinks about it, he kinda wants to write down and give to you, maybe framed. Or maybe he’ll stick it on his fridge - with a heavy magnet, of course, because it’s such a long list.

He completely loses all interest in the rest of the room, even though he’s pretty sure most of the party is staring at the two of you. Instead, he finds himself hanging anxiously on the breath you take, hoping for you to say something, to give him an indication of where things stand between you now. Because he knows you’ll be straightforward and get right to the point, whatever’s on your mind. 

You step closer, close enough for him to feel your soft laugh on his lips as you give him a look that sends his pulse rocketing. You’ve never looked at him like this before.

Forget a list. He’s gonna write a whole book. 

“Come on, whipped boy. Take me home.”

If you liked this fic, please consider reblogging! Likes do not help it get seen by other readers. 💕

© 2024 by minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost. I do not allow translations of my work.

[iheartsebastianmichaelis]

Stress.

⚠️: minors dni, sensorial uncomfort and corporal pain description, AFAB but gender neutral reader, fingering, mirror sex.

you have been very tense the last few days. social gatherings among the aristocracy did nothing but put you in a bad mood and stress you out when you lost track of the insignificant and trivial conversations among the nobles. you only attended for education, potential business partners, and the luxurious and unusual food they served, which clearly did not compare to the art that Sebastian had the luxury of creating in the kitchen.

on this occasion you were returning from a party with a baron whose name you had already forgotten because it seemed so irrelevant to you. maybe you had wasted time, but at least you could cross off one more item on your to-do list.

when you got out of the carriage and entered the mansion you were a mess: your hair felt sweaty, your suit was worn out, and your shoes had gotten dirty because of a clumsy waiter who tripped on you at the party. you sighed heavily, walking up the stairs towards your room while Sebastian followed behind you.

"your grace, i will prepare the bathtub with hot water to help you relax your body, in the meantime please wait in your room."

"okay, don't take so long."

"as you wish."

you entered your room and lazily began to undress, the cold of the night gave you a chill due to the abrupt change in temperature, giving you goosebumps. even with good weather setting your night, you couldn't get the frustration out of your body. so unbearable it was that even a slight pain in your temple appeared without warning.

a gentle knock on the door brought you back to reality, you knew it was Sebastian and with that an idea came to your head.

"master, may I come in?"

you were almost naked, only wearing your underwear but that was just a part of what you had in mind. with your head clear of doubts you nodded at yourself.

"sure."

Sebastian opened the door and his eyes widened in surprise. he never had seen his authority figure in such detail before, so it was only natural for him to ask your reasoning.

"good grief", he sighed "although I came here to inform you that the bathtub is ready, i can notice you weren't. i apologize if that's the case, i think it would be better for me to leave the room to give you more privacy."

"no, stay here. i wanna ask you something."

"how can i help you now?"

"i read on a book that people use to release stress with their bodies, do you know something about it?"

"i've certainly heard of that, your grace, humans usually can find relieve stimulating their bodies."

you sighed heavily as you placed your hands on your hips.

"I want to try it."

"oh? may i ask why, your grace?"

"are you seriously that much worried about wasting the bathtub water, Sebastian?" you asked teasingly, playful smile on your face. "there's no need to explain such easy understanding things, don't you think?"

he only chuckled.

you cupped his face with your hands and looked at him seriously.

"it's an order, destress me."

"yes, my master."

...

after a passionate making out session with your butler, you sat on the edge of the bed in front of your mirror, him before you and caressing your cheek with his hand.

he suddenly positioned himself on his knees in front of you and asked permission, with his exploring hands Sebastian waited for your response. a slight nod of your head was enough to give him the green light to continue. he made his way to your intimate area, leaving a trail of wet kisses, stopping right at your mound and giving a light bite to your thigh before retiring your panties. now, his sinful tongue began to trace a slow and pleasant up and down pattern on your slit. your mind felt foggy, his tongue was slightly making you feel more and more impatient when he thrusted vaguely into you or sucked on your clit vehemently. as time passed by and your moans became more loud he knew you were close to your climax so he stopped dead, surprising you and making you pout.

"i don't remember telling you to stop, Sebastian." you said frustrated.

"and I won't, excellency." he said with a calm, smug face while removing his gloves.

Sebastian then moved behind you, cradling you in his arms and slowly sliding them to your wet, sweet spot. starting with two fingers, he massaged your clit, giving gentle strokes and moving it in circles. your head was now tilted back and resting on his shoulder, soft whines leaving your mouth.

"oya, oya. someone's acting so eager already, aren't you dear?"

"s-shut up."

the clear and humiliating expression reflected on your face in the mirror was enough to motivate sebastian to tease and mock you.

you hissed and bit your lips every time he increased the speed or his strength in his movements between your folds. the moans you let out did nothing but invite him to continue taking them out of your mouth.

two of his long, thin fingers made their presence felt inside your wet interior, he thrust into you with confidence and strength, but not to the point of being painful or overwhelming. Just like he had said, you were excited. your hips moved back and forth, seeking to bury his fingers to your sweetest spot if that was possible.

"please keep going like that, haah."

"understood." he placed a kiss on your neck, making you tremble.

when he could deduce that you were close again, he moved his fingers faster and his thumb got busy giving soft and pleasant half-moons on your clit. your breathing became faster and your mouth got rid of all shame, letting out loud, pleasurable moans into Sebastian's ear.

"that's it, just follow what your body leads you to." he whispered into your ear before kissing and licking it.

suddenly you felt a chill and an energizing spasm run through your entire body, your back arched and your tongue slightly stuck out of your mouth. your legs were shaking and your chest was rising and falling: you had reached your orgasm. with your face burning with embarrassment you looked down and noticed the mess that was dripping onto his fingers that were still inside you. He gently gave small thrusts trying to prolong your ecstasy, you only hummed and moaned his name in response.

when Sebastian considered it was enough, he took his fingers out of you, kissing your neck and jaw, trying to massage your chest and collarbones with his clean hand, in order to help you relax your body.

"and... did this help you, your grace?"

you nodded frantically, but then noticed he got up from your behind and your back was surprised with the messy and warm sheets.

you looked up at him, noticing how he started to unbuckle his belt.

"I can try another method to destress you, excellency. just say the word, say my name and allow me to do the rest."

A/N: hii sorry for dying lol but happy season 4 for everyone LMAO!! I literally screamed and fell to the ground seeing profesor Michaelis 🤭 anyway, listen: i TRIED so bad to write actually smut but i swear i need to go bit by bit cuz i just suck 😭😭 sorry if this is so messy 💀

[wolftoken]

Pictures • II x reader

a/n: i wrote this and hated it then edited it two weeks later and loved it honestly this might be my favourite thing i’ve written right now

word count: 2236 • tags: gn reader, ii is sending nudes, kissing, handjob (reader receiving), praise, biting & hickeys, penetrative sex, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, rough sex, creampie, aftercare, purple text indicating text messages

• masterlist •

You’re desperate to get home. Your grocery store is never usually this busy, why today of all days is it flooded with customers? It was supposed to be a quick trip to get some ingredients for II because he wanted to make you dinner tonight. He was still working on some things with the boys when you stepped out to go shopping but he’d probably be home by now. You decide to shoot him a text to say you’ll be home as fast as possible but that the lines are outrageous here.

What you get in response is not something you expected. It’s a mirror selfie, taken in the steamed up bathroom, indicating he’s just got out of the shower. He’s wearing those gray sweatpants and no shirt with a sly smile on his face. It’s hard to miss the prominent bulge he’s sporting and you quickly whip your head around not-so-subtly to make sure no one else in line saw it.

You: an old woman in line behind me almost saw that

II: Lucky old woman :)

You shut your phone off. His antics are not needed right now, when the line is finally moving up. Feeling your phone buzzing in your pocket, you ignore it in case he’s sent you something more graphic that some old lady would faint at the sight of. But then again, he might need something else from the store. Maybe you missed a crucial ingredient and he’s making sure you have it in your basket. Or maybe you just wanna see your boyfriend’s bulge again.

Your face heats up in embarrassment as you try to casually look around for anyone looking at you while you unlock your phone.

II: Did you make sure to get mozzarella?

Oh, good. Well, it’s fine - you’ll get to see him in all his glory when you get home.

You: i did. should be home soon

II: I’ve been missing you

He sends a video. It’s only 4 seconds long but it feels like a lifetime. It’s quite easy to tell he missed you by the way he bites his lip as his hand slides down his crotch. His location seems to have been moved to the couch and the sweats have been removed so he’s just wearing boxers, ones that leave very little to the imagination.

You’re white-knuckling your basket when someone coughs behind you, and you whip your head around with your phone clutched to your chest.

“Can you move up the line, please?” the old woman asks. Your face heats up and you nod, not trusting your voice in the moment. Shuffling awkwardly up the line you begin to place your items down on the conveyor belt, doing a very last minute check over your shopping list. The cashier is having trouble scanning something and asks for his manager to help him and you curse at him internally, even though you know it’s probably not his fault. The problem is fixed soon enough and eventually your receipt is in your hand and you’re putting your bags in the car. Although speeding home sounds tempting you manage not to break any traffic laws and you find yourself parking the car and just as you lift your bags out, a familiar voice makes you turn your head to face it.

“Let me help you with those, love.” II smiles, now dressed in something more appropriate casual.

“I don’t know if you should be seen in public with that,” you remark, unable to bring your eyes back up from the very obvious hard-on in his pants. How long has he been like that? It must be painful. You should get the groceries inside quickly so you can help him out.

“Hello? Just going to stare at my dick all day or bring me my mozzarella?” he laughs. You snap out of your inappropriate daydreams and follow him inside so you can both set down the groceries. As soon as his hands are empty they’re grabbing at your hips to pull you close to him. It’s even better to feel his hard-on pressed against you instead of staring at it through your phone screen, especially when you’re being pushed back against the counter as he desperately ruts against you, which is not surprising considering how long ago he sent you those texts. II pushes his tongue past your lips to claim your mouth and you moan appreciatively, feeling his hands travel to the backs of your thighs to lift you up and wrap your legs around his waist.

You squeak at the sudden movement and cling to his shoulders while he chuckles against your skin. You have to remind him to keep his eyes on the road, so to speak, as he presses wet kisses against your neck and shoulders, but somehow you end up in the bedroom and he just about lets you drop onto the mattress.

“Could have been more gentle with that,” you quip, laughing.

“No gentleness tonight, angel. I’ve been craving you all day, and I haven’t cum once. Kept looking at pictures of you and fucking my fist wishing it was your pretty face but I stop myself every time I’m close so I can make sure I can stuff you completely full with my cum.”

You don’t even have a chance to respond because he’s diving back down to kiss you. Your mouth was already agape from his statement so it’s easy for him to shove his tongue past your lips again - as if you wouldn’t let him, though. You’d let him do whatever he wanted to you and it looks like that’s the score tonight.

He’s shoving his sweatpants and boxers down and throwing his shirt off and you take the opportunity to remove your own clothes as he’s not presently attacking your mouth with his own. Once you’re both naked he’s leaning down to drag his teeth across the skin of your throat, letting his tongue graze along your skin leaving wet shining marks on top of the indents of his teeth, and his hand flies down to play with you. Despite his previous statement, he does start slowly so you can get used to the feeling but you know he’ll be intense later. No wonder when he’s been pent up for this long, hard as a rock and apparently thinking of you all day.

It’s not long before you’re almost cumming on his fingers, your body writing beneath him as he marks hickeys all over your neck. He’s usually careful not to leave too many marks on you but tonight he doesn’t seem to care. You’re sure your neck is already covered in blooms of purple and red and that thought is what pushes you over the edge and with a keening cry you let your orgasm wash over you like a tidal wave, twitching in II’s hands as he watches you with his bottom lip caught between his teeth.

“So fucking pretty, need to watch you cum on my cock when I fucking fill you,” he breaths, rubbing your mess over his dick so he’s nice and slick for you.

It’s always a bit of a challenge to get used to him, and he usually gives you as much time as you need to adjust before he starts moving. Usually. Tonight he’s not wasting a moment and starts fucking you as soon as he buries himself to the hilt, but the pain is soon replaced by gratifying pleasure and you reach your hands up to him, running your hands up his tummy and trying to pull him down to you, but he lets out a growl and takes your wrists together to hold them down above your head.

“Not fair, wanna feel you,” you whine.

He leans down to press his body against yours and you feel him thrust into you as deep as he can possibly go. He’s so deep inside you and you can feel it in your fucking guts and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as he continues to fuck you.

“You feeling me now? Because you’ll be feeling me later,” he grunts. He’s clearly just as affected by the feeling as you are but he’s trying not to show it. But you can tell in his breathless voice, the sweat making his hair stick up every which way, and his dick twitching violently inside you. Desperate to feel him release inside you, you squeeze him hard and move your hips back against him as much as you can and you claim your reward gratefully. His eyes widen and he lets out strings of grunted curses and moans as his hips stutter and he fills you with his cum.

Both of you breathe heavily into the other’s sweat-covered skin, and his hands release yours and come down to hold you by your shoulders as your own find their way to the back of his head. You gaze into his blown-out pupils as both of manage to catch your breath, and II gently rests his forehead on yours.

“Fuck, you have no idea how badly I needed that. Next time don’t take so long in the grocery store, hmm?” he teases. You begin to tell him all about how it wasn’t your fault there was so many people in line but his lips capture yours once again and silence your rambling. Threading your fingers through his hair, you kiss him back with as much force as he’s giving you. It’s messy and you’re both moaning and incoherent and it couldn’t be better.

Moments pass as you get so lost in each other that you barely even comprehend that he’s hard again until he’s slowly moving in and out of you, still pressing deep and making obscene noises with his cum gushing out of you and making an even wetter mess between your thighs. Your legs shake hard as he fucks you; you’re overstimulated but in the best way and you need him to move faster so you can cum around his thick cock. When you pull his face away from yours by his hair it makes him do just that, and you’re surprised to see the way his eyes roll back from the feeling.

Did he even know he liked his hair being pulled? You have no time to think on it because he’s snapping his hips against yours and clamping his teeth down on the meat of your shoulder. You want to pull his hair, push your hips up against him, squeeze your legs around his waist, but he’s fucking you so good you can barely do anything but moan obscenely in his ear. He easily pulls another orgasm from you like this and this time it hits you harder than before. You’re crying from the feeling and you swear you almost pass out when he licks a stripe up your face to taste your tears, savouring the salty flavour and the fucked-out cock-drunk look on your face. Every thing he’s doing to you is making your body writhe in pleasure and you can’t stop the litany of noises coming out of you with every thrust he gives you.

You must be involuntarily gripping his hair again because you hear him growl into your skin and feel the way his body shakes with the feeling of his impending orgasm. You need to feel him fill you up again so you try your hardest to focus on squeezing around his thick cock and pulling on his hair, desperate to make him feel as good as you do.

His jaw goes slack as he tries to bite you again, unable to move as his dick twitches deep inside you and fills you with his hot cum. For a minute he’s resting his full weight on top of you and it’s comforting although slightly hard to breathe, but his arms brace against the mattress and he pushes himself up so he’s not squishing you completely.

His dazed eyes begin to clear and he smiles sweetly at the sight of you, covered in bite marks and bruises and saliva and so so pretty. He’s not much better, with his hair sticking up every which way and his lips puffy and red and of course he’s so beautiful like this, too. Both of you just admire each other and gently kiss and touch where you can reach and make sure you’re both feeling okay, and when you whine at the feeling of II pulling out of you he just brushes his thumb over your cheek and smiles.

In a flash, he’s back with a warm wet cloth to clean the both of you up. He takes his time with you, making sure to be extra gentle with your sensitive skin, pressing the softest kisses over the hickeys he gave you and smiling into your skin when you laugh at the feeling. When he’s done, he’s tossing you some clean underwear and his hoodie and tells you to stay in bed while he fetches a snack.

You watch him saunter into the kitchen in his sweatpants and hear him rifle through the cupboards in search of proper sustenance and it makes you giggle. He always takes such good care of you, and you know you’ll be getting pampered tomorrow when your legs are too sore to make getting out of bed worth it.

[empiropediazine]

Hello empiresblr! We're in the early stages of planning an Empires SMP themed zine focused on worldbuilding and we are doing a bit of an interest check :)

If you find that interesting please go ahead and vote on the following poll! If you're not sure what to vote for make sure to read the whole post before picking an option :>

If you wanna know more about this we will be providing more in-depth info under read more!

What's the deal with this zine?

This zine is about Empires SMP Season 1, focused on exploring and expanding the worldbuilding and lore of the series. The name, Empiropedia, is a play on words between ‘empire’ and ‘encyclopedia’- it’s not structured quite like a regular zine, instead presented as if it were an in-universe book (or books) that puts together different sources to describe the culture and history of the 12 different empires. The zine will include both illustrations and writing. Some of the things we want to include are clothes, architecture, folklore, and artifacts/cultural items!

What's the difference between the two options the poll offers?

We are currently deciding whether we want to make one (very big) zine with a set amount of pages dedicated to each empire, or if we want to make multiple zines (one at a time) with one dedicated to each empire. Both options have pro and cons listed below!

120+ pages zine:

Pros:

An overall shorter project since it would be put together all at once

More intersection between different empires (pages dedicated to discussing alliances and the like)

People participating can contribute work to multiple empires more easily

Less pdf files to download! :D

Cons:

FAR less space for each empire to shine and be explored

A pretty long read

While it will take less time overall, it will definitely take much more time and coordination to put together than one singular empire zine of the 12 zines option.

12 separate zines:

Pros:

So much space to truly explore each empire!

You can decide which zines to pick up according to what your favourite empires are

The overall project will be able to include more artists and writers

Each singular zine will take less time than the 120+ pages zine to put together

Cons:

A much bigger project that would stretch over a way longer amouth of time to get to all empires being included

A lot less cross-working between different empires

Certain empires might not get as many applications from artists, making it harder to put together a zine dedicated completely to them

Will Season 2 be included?

While we are thinking of making a similar project focused on Season 2 that's pretty far off in the future, so for now we are focusing on the current project.

How/when can I apply?

We are currently getting everything set up, and we might open mod applications before opening contributor applications, so for now we don't have a set date. All necessary information to apply (including a timeframe) will be provided as soon as we set everything up!

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hey, steph! how are you, like, genuinely? not the small talk. i wanna listen

Hey Lovely 💜🖤

I want to apologize for putting this off for so long... which should be a clue as to how I am actually doing.

Honestly? Not good, but I'm trying my best. It's been... a time. Will put under a cut for those who don't want to read about the tagged items.

TL;DR – my real life is a bit chaotic, and I hide a lot from y'all because I REALLY try not to be negative here since my blog is where I come to be happy AND because I am a very private person, but I try my best to just keep going day to day as the chaos settles down slowly.

I've got some good things coming though, so I hope a week's rest next week when I'm off (and will probably take a break from here too) will reset my brain.

Work has been insane, and is most of the cause of my mental distress for the past few months. From Easter until Canada Day Weekend at my job is lovingly referred to as "Silly Season" simply because of how on-the-fly, balls-to-the-wall our workload is until summertime downtime officially begins for us. Without disclosing too much, it's basically non-stop, long hours for me until one of the 3 break weeks we get during the this long stretch happens where, incidentally because of the nature of my job and the team I work on, it actually gets BUSIER for us.

It actually ended earlier than we expected this year (yesterday) and we'll be "quieter" until the end of September now. See an opportunity, I actually took next week off between the two long weekends because my mental health has taken a severe hit and I'm having trouble just... enjoying things? I'm haven't gamed or drew in a few weeks, and blogging and writing feels like a chore. I literally just come home, file this blog, reply to one or two asks, and then go to bed, and do it all over again the next day. Day in and day out, for 3 months. On weekends I have to force myself out of my apartment because I KNOW I will sink lower if I don't leave.

On top of that, my brain has convinced me that literally everyone hates me: friends, coworkers, family, you guys, my damned plants. I just feel very alone these days and... I'll be real here, I've almost abandoned this blog a few times in the past few months. I feel like I make fic lists that no one reblogs or likes and tell me they're all shit. I post my art and I barely break 20 notes. I write something and I get maybe 2 likes. I can't really answer any thoughtful asks because my mental state's been in the shitter for months. I desperately want to reply to the few sexuality asks I have and I physically can't. Being on my computer – after working ON a computer for my day job for 12 hour days everyday – feels like too much, so I try to limit my time on the blog now too.

I just try to keep carrying on, encouraged by the once-in-a-blue-moon testimonial ask I get thanking me for still being here. I thank YOU guys for reminding me that people still like coming here.

Stressed about money and food and rent just like everyone else, and just getting frustrated at other things.

And finally, my uncle (my dad's brother and my godfather) hasn't been doing well health-wise, and he's being moved to assisted living next week. His health has been declining since Easter, so it's been a bit of worrying time for relatives.

Having my therapist helps a lot. She talks me through a lot of my complicated feelings, my sense of self and ways to cope with my anxiety and stress. I'm talking to her again next week, so no worries, gang. As I said, I just keep on keeping on.

Some positivity though:

I booked next week off to try to just... recenter myself. To forget about everything and TRY to get back to doing the things I love. I will probably take a break from this blog as well during that time to limit my social-media time. It's not ideal but I need a break from my computer, I think.

I go to the gym a lot more these days, which has helped with the seething annoyance I constantly have at work. Usually feel better after it.

And because of the gym and getting out more, I've been slowly feeling better physically, better than I have since before 2019. The break from work is for the mental health, LOL.

I'm getting my hair recoloured next week. Can't afford it, really, but I just REALLY need to feel better about myself again, and I always feel so different when I colour my hair. I was doing so good for awhile. I want that again.

Anyway, I'm sorry to bombard y'all with my complicated mess of a brain. I really do appreciate you asking, so THANK YOU. I rarely get asked in real life if I am okay because I keep very private due to past people betraying my trust. And I don't like seeing people unhappy, so I feel if I tell people about my problems, then I feel I am a burden, so I just... continue existing.

Thank you for letting me be a burden just this once.

[lovelyrotter]

okay but i actually kinda wanna know ur take on stridercest being canon compliant O_O <- autism stare

oh hey i am also hitting you with the autism stare. ill try to get my thoughts down in a way that makes sense to more than just me hahaha

bear in mind that im an epilogue lover and i think Meat/Candy are really valuable pieces that further all of the characters and are also hard canon in the sense that we're looking at just 2 post-game universe outcomes out of an uncountable number (the book in the picnic basket representing post-canon fanfic). i think the characters actions in the epilogues make sense and are satisfying to me. yes even jane (i love alpha jane and i will not do her the disservice of 'cleaning her up' w/o showing her work for it. thats not how you depict a character who grew up with fascist programming). i could totally go on a whole tangent about this specifically but thats another post lol we'd be here forever and its also not stridercest

but okay. canon stridercest. under the cut cause it got kinda long

basically it has to do with the cherubs and how their relationships and mating rituals are pretty obviously incestuous leaning even though cherubs dont have the human concept of Siblings or blood family. the cherub who predominates will search across paradox space to mate with another cherub who closely resembles the cherub they predominated which is like textbook Freudian sexuality. theres a lot of Freud and Jungian stuff in HS imo even if im kinda [wobbly hand gesture] at the validity of these theories applied to real life and real people. but theyre super fun tools and lenses to use in fiction and i mean. gestures at all of dave

so the incest aliens cherubs. the whole reason why im talkin about them is bc Caliborn is so incredibly interested and invested in the Striders in particular. caliborn as both Lord English and Lil Cal shapes earth NOT OVERTLY but more so embeds himself in earth society, but again, the Striders lives in particular. dave is full of incest jokes. hes even apparently got a list of his friends arranged in order of how likely theyd incest-elope with each other (thank you epilogues for this amazing factoid). he seems to think about it often enough to, yknow, Do That. have a good solid think about that and construct an organized list about it. bearing in mind dave makes jokes about stuff thats a) bothering him, or b) generally camping out in his brain. hes not even really aware of it most of the time (as we see in one of the openbounds where hes all 'why am i thinking about puppets???' after seeing dirk for the first time in that dream bubble. he is thinking nonstop about dirk at that point and going off his only frame of reference for ANY dirk, which is his bro. his bro who was most likely deeply warped by Lil Cal)

sorry for the long blocky paragraph lol. but now onto the next thing

Caliborn as Lil Cal is the centerpiece in the beta strider apartment. dave cant escape him and beta dirk grew up with him. what the fuck do you do when youre childhood comfort item is also the most evil creature across all of paradox space? if youre a dirk you try to fight it. but how long can you keep fighting something like that. its safe to say that bro was affected by Caliborns particular brand of perversion and sfw kink. i dont think i have to say how insidious abusive and toxic he is about those things. and looking at the truth of beta bro (16yo alpha dirk) you can start to see just how warped beta bro became. beta bro is a false dirk (still a very Real dirk but not the Truth of dirk. beta bro has been toxified and made infinitely worse by an absolute evil influence over decades of life. in 80s fuckin texas. presumably in the system. anyone would be fucked up after that)

so for this analysis/theory im stating beta bro as a false persona. using jungian terms he is apha dirk's shadow

both dave and dirk live with a fake, carefully manicured version of their bros. they live with personas (or shadows of their guardians on the walls. hello platos allegory of the cave). they dont actually know e/o and they dont until the striunion

alpha dirk especially grows up embedded in the Public Persona Of Dave Strider 400 years post mortem and completely alone with unlimited internet access. hes a self admitted expert on his bro and we dont get to see a lot if any of his early childhood but i can hazard a guess at how much he clung to that persona of his bro. he fuckin idolizes dave. he LOVES dave. right off the bat he is in some kind of love with dave and i think if you try to argue against that then thats you slippin. i think youre a fool and have to reread homestuck because i wholeheartedly believe the striders loving eachother is part of the win state

once again this is speculation cause we get barely anything about alpha dave, but from what we already know about him im guessing this bro-persona is

achingly effortlessly cool

oozing masculinity (toxic or not, not really interested in categorizing that although toxic coolboy masculinity IS something the striders contend with & is an important facet in their lives)

a skilled fighter

a dedicated moviegoer (hes a director need i say more. this one is probably the only genuine thing about his on-screen persona)

and now lets look at jake. someone whos grown up on pretty much nothing but movies, whos doubtlessly been influenced by hollywood and its idea of gritty 'main character' masculinity through that, and who also clings to more old-school ideas of manliness (think victorian/edwardian era gentlemanly-but-loves-a-good-scrum kinda manly. moustache twirly with a monocle kinda manly. basically everything that grandpa harley is)

but okay lets look at what jake wants to be. lets take a look at his teenager persona

achingly effortlessly cool (his own 'hollywood star' kind of cool also def influenced by his favourite characters like lara croft who is indeed achingly cool. you see him succeed in inhabiting this hollywood star persona on earth c)

oozing masculinity (the old school manly mans-man kind)

a skilled fighter (two pistoles always. harder to aim cause you cant use a free hand to make up for kickback. that takes skill)

a dedicated moviegoer (again one of the only genuine parts about his persona. his questionable-to-wretched tastes aside. but bearing in mind that the SBaHJ movies are intentionally bad which is what makes them loop around to good. such is the nature of intentionally 'bad' art. jake fuckin lives in this perpetual bad-good art loop. okay enough with the art tangent keep focused man cmon)

because dirk has obviously way more contact with jake i dont doubt he sees through jakes own (admittedly way more flimsy) coolboy persona but the point still stands i think. different flavours but the same kinda guy. dirk has a type and i dont think its a stretch to say that hes looking for aspects of the bro-persona he grew up looking at in other boys, much like the winning cherub looking for the one they lost in the cherub theyll mate with

also wtf is with dirks obvious boner for dave chasing him across paradox space to decapitate him huh?? the last few sentences in Meat are about that very thing. he wants to fuc fight dave sooo bad. haha remember how the cherubic mating ritual is one of the most violent and long running spectacles in paradox space? i sure do

[the-fandom-queenxox]

Blaming @sincerely-nines for letting the demons out

Here is the minecraft food update ideas that have been plaguing me fo a very long time:

(Also I know most of what I am about to list off are in many minecraft mods, you don't have to tell me about them, I just wanna yap about things)

(Also also I mainly talked about food we could have with the already existing edible minecraft items)

-First of all WHY DON'T WE HAVE APPLE PIE IN MINECRAFT!!! WE HAVE PUMPKIN PIE SURE BUT WE DESERVE APPLE PIE TOO!! Oh and also golden/enchanted golden apple pie... cause I think it would be funny and I want it

-Continuing the pie train sweet berry pie, glow berry pie, shepherd's pie(we have enough meat options to make it), chicken pot pie and also just learned about this one, fish pie

-Speaking of fish, sushi. "Oh bUt FAndOm yOU neEd riCe AnD SeAwEEd To mAKe sUsHI" no you don't, there are many recipes of sushi without rice in them and you can use the dried kelp as a substitute to seawed

-But also yeah they should add rice too

-Squids, we should be able to eat the squids... both of them(and yes you would get the glow effect if you ate the glow squid)

-Getting back on the pie train for a second for the actual last pie for the list(unless I forgot any that could be made via the limited items we have in minecraft), chorus fruit pie, cause it's funny to think about

-Carrot cake, chocolate cake or even better brownies, sweet berry cake and glow berry cake

-Sugar cookies

-Cheese!!! Which they made cheese in one of the april fools updates, so they infact can code this in, but I want it in a specific way, it is the height of a half slab and it is eaten like a cake... and maybe also cream, butter, yogurt or frosting even, since the one cake we do have seems to already have something like that on the sprite on it... also I think it would be funny if you crafted a whole stick of butter and eat it infront of your friends

-Speaking of "april fools updates" sweet potatoes and mashed potatoes

-Chocolate, just regular chocolate

-Add on from the last point hot chocolate

-French toast, we have all the ingredients for this why can't we have it?!

-Maybe some egg dishes? Like fried eggs, boiled eggs, scrambled eggs...

-Oh it just came to me, eggs benedict! Just replace the english muffin with regular bread, which probably make it count as a sandwich now that I think about it... they should also add sandwiches...

-Maybe also some more dishes with mushrooms? Even though I don't lkke mushrooms irl it's kinda weird to only have one food item with them in it

-I also wouldn't mind if they made more stews or soup

-Puddings! More specifically bread pudding and chocolate pudding

-Caramel

-A lot of trees are actually very safe to eat the bark and seeds of

-Sunflower seeds

-Also apparently if you boil it, you can eat bamboo as well and we have that in minecraft so we should eat it

-Many types of juices!! Some short examples would be carrot juice, melon juice, beetroot juice... etc.

-Kinda going off topic with this one, but I wanna gnaw on the bones we get from the skeletons, mojang let me eat the bones!!! You can make it so if you eat one it gives nausea cause it is actually unhealthy to eat bone as is and can make you seriously sick, but I wanna be a rabid fucking animal damn it and scare off the hoes. Side note here but you can also eat bonemeal and be okay to do so, so yeah that is also an option

Aaannd that's all of them for me, but if any of you have some ideas on what else to add do let me know, I probably missed alot of things

[seastarblue]

Tumblr Games: OC Prompts: Character Profile

thanks for the tag @bardic-tales here !

Rules: Answer the prompts for an OC—buttttt I kinda wanna do the interview style again! Partway at least. Gotta work on them character voices, ya know?

So I’m already making profiles for my OCs, but I figured it might be fun to do one for an OC I wasn’t planning on profiling:

✨Saffron✨

Let’s go!

———

Full name? “Saffron of Gentlebright. At least that’s the one easiest to pronounce for humans.”

Age? “Er… maybe… 450…? Give or take a few decades— I’ve lost count. Whoopsie!”

Gender? “Gender? I hardly know her! HAHAHA! You can use she/her for me though.”

Species? “A ✨fairy✨.”

Appearance: Saffon is a short (nO im NOT), red headed fairy with bright yellow eyes and shimmering purple dragonfly wings. She’s got a collection scars here and there.

Occupation? “I’m the captain of the Fifth Order.”

Family:

Spouse? “None. Never was one for romance!”

Parents? “…No.”

Siblings? “…also no.”

Best Friends? Tell me a bit about them!

“Alrighty! First and foremost, we’ve got Aris! Aris min Qultaar, if we’re being specific. He’s my partner-in-justice! Now as for the rest of my team: I love them equally—some are just… more equal than others, HAH! Like, uh, Nero di Accardi, Thannis of Spring, Tembris Quicksilver, and Percival Whitlock.”

Pets? “No, but I did have a cat called… Baby Kitty. He died :(“

Describe your room? “Ah, there’s not much. A bed, nice soft blue sheets, it’s got holes in the mattress for my wings—I tuck em in, don’t want them to get crushed, ya know—I’ve got a nice little nightstand that Thannis carved for me with some knickknacks Aris gifted me. I don’t spend enough time in there to really decorate.”

Way of Speaking: Saffron’s speaking style wildly changes depending on who she’s talking to. With her team, it’s casual, easy, gentle at times. With superiors, it’s formal, tense, very eloquent. With criminals… well let’s just say she doesn’t stop to chat much.

Physical Characteristics: Apart from what was listed above, Saffron has white diamond shaped pupils, and blue blood, as she is a Fae.

Items in your bag RIGHT NOW: “Oh, uh, let’s see… a knife, some food, a broken pencil, another knife, some vials of potion, and… another broken pencil. Who put those in there…?”

Hobbies: Sparring, planting, dancing, writing, interrogating people

Favorite Sport: “Hm… I’m a fan of wingball, but I don’t play often.” (Wingball is just football but in the air)

Abilities: Saffron has a lie detecting ability, as she is a fairy. She also has some very good Glamor skills, as well as mean Fire magic.

Relationships:

Her team: very good! :>

Lloyd Santhuff: very bad :<

Vivirette Hawthorne: she thinks the noble is weird.

Fears: She fears losing her entire team without being able to do anything. It’s a very real fear… also slugs.

Faults: She tends to freeze up, which isn’t a good quality to have as a leader. She also has a problem with taking things seriously—she doesn’t.

Good Points: Saffron is very honest (not by choice—long story, still counts), and she’s very good at giving advice, having lived for literal centuries (don’t make me feel old :[ )

What they want more than anything else: all Saffron wants is to be free to keep them safe.

———

phew this took a while. Note that you don’t have to answer as an OC, just for one!

Tag game list! Lemme know if you want on/off via DM or ask!:

@sableglass @vsnotresponding @dioles-writes

@paeliae-occasionally @astor-and-the-endless-ink @allaboutmagic

[homemakinghippie]

Meal Planning

Aside from making as much of our food from scratch as possible, meal planning is how I keep our grocery budget low. When done properly it can be extremely helpful, but I know a lot of people find it very overwhelming so I thought I'd share how I meal plan.

The first step is deciding how long you want to plan for. I plan week by week because I love grocery shopping. Growing up my mom always planned for two weeks so she could get groceries on pay day, and I know some people successfully plan for the whole month. However long you choose to plan for, don't think that your meal plan locks you down to eating specific things on specific nights. A meal plan is more like a guide. I use it as a list of meals we want to eat that week, and we can have whichever meal sounds the best that night. I still have some freedom of choice, but I don't have to think hard about what we should have. It eliminates a lot of decision fatigue.

I always try to base my meals off the things that are on sale that week. Most grocery stores (at least in the US) change their sale items on Wednesdays so I make my meal plan and grocery list on Wednesday. You could totally do your shopping then too, but my husband and I like going together on weekends. This can take a little more flexibility, because sometimes the item on my list is sold out because of the sale, but I just do what I need to make it work. If you get your local newspaper they should have an insert with local store's weekly ads, but most also post them on their app/website. Using the app or website can actually make lists easier because you can sometimes add a sale item or deal straight to your in app list and clip coupons straight to your account instead of needing to get the scissors out.

I do shop at Walmart a lot and they don't have weekly deals or coupons, so I also keep a list of meals we love and are cheap/easy to make. I price compare items at my local Kroger and Walmart and usually end up going to both of there's enough items that are cheaper.

Meal planning can be super simple if you want it to be. Create meals based on sale items, choose one of those meals each night when deciding what to have for dinner, save money because you're not constantly going back to the store for random ingredients or getting takeout because you can't decide.

I wanna clarify that when I say sale items I mean ingredients. Produce, cheese, or meats that are one sale. Even if everything is on sale, buying all premade/processed foods will automatically make your groceries cost more. You can get more meals out of a package of chicken breasts, cheese, rice, and some vegetables than you can with frozen meals you just have to heat up (although frozen vegetables are an amazing way to get veggies in for cheaper).

[ask-sunny-omori]

Don't send donation asks here, send them to @starboys-randomness please!

(And please try not to go too in detail about the graphic things in your situations, I am very sensitive and get triggered easily /lh)

Welcome to SUNNY'S ASK BLOG!!

RULES.

No stairs jokes (aka mentions of it are okay)

No harassment

Be patient bc art takes a long while

No slurs

No NSFW asks

You can bring up things like Mari's death, Hellmari, Something, etc., but please be mindful. (It does make me mildly uncomfortable in some cases.)

No religious discrimination, everyone is welcome here.

If you have an ask you would like to send, but don't know if it adheres to the rules, send it anyways. I take forever to answer asks, and for that I apologize

DNI LIST.

Basic DNI criteria (Homophobia, transphobia, ableism, etc.)

Proshippers and comshippers.

Fictionkin antis?? Idk how else to word it

Purely NSFW accounts (You're okay if you post SFW as well, I just don't wanna see too much NSFW on my feed bc I'm a minor,,,)

HEADS UP/WARNINGS.

I am a Sunny fictionkin, so that is why I ask you to please be mindful when bringing up things like Mari's death.

I have autism, adhd, anxiety, and bpd (borderline, not bipolar), so I apologize if I ever act out in a way that is confusing or rude, I don't mean for it to come off that way.

My account is NOT spoiler-free. Please tread with caution.

I am a multishipper, meaning I ship multiple different ships. Some of the ones that will be featured on this blog are suntan, sunburn, and sunflower, as it is mainly Sunny-centric.

The timeline of this is around 3 months post-good ending. You can find more info on the timeline here.

Names, items, and places will be in CAPS for in-character posts because that's how it's said in the game.

I often refer to Sunny as myself because, well, Sunny fictkin.

There will be many things in this blog that are not entirely canon, and those are all either headcanons or just things from my Sunny mems (memories).

Sourcemates (Fictionkin, IRL, fictive, all types of sourcemates) and doubles (Other Sunny fictionkins, IRLs, and fictives) are welcome to interact! I love talking to you guys :D

TAG GUIDE.

#sunnys art - posts with art in them, whether it's an ask or not

#sunnys asks - me answering asks in character

#snuuy bnuuy - ooc posts. these will usually be reblogs and updates (if I've been offline for a while)

#in character - in character posts

#sunnys reblogs - when I reblog stuff. whether it's in character or not depends on what I'm reblogging.

#omori spoilers - for posts that have spoilers in them.

#tw suicide - posts with suicide mentions or images

#tw mari's death - posts with mentions or images of mari's death

OTHER ACCOUNTS.

@starboys-headspace - Where I post about my hyperfixations, AUs, and OCs

@starboys-randomness - Where I just repost things that are either funny, important, or I just wanna reblog them

@starboys-fictionkin-stuff - Where I talk about fictionkin stuff, such as kin memories, canons, struggles, etc. (I'm very active on this account)

@putting-hanako-in-places - Where I put Hanako (from TBHK) in places

@childofthetree - Ask blog for Uncorrupted!Nightmare Sans

That's about it! If I think of anything else to add or need to fix something, this post will be updated.

[misterbrick42]

A Day in The Life of the Guy Who Smuggles in Items into Hitman Locations

I decided to be the change I wanted to see in the world and I wrote some non-romance based hitman fanfiction about working as the guy who smuggles in items into hitman locations.

Hi, my name is Brad, and I work at the ICA. I’m not one of the assassins, or anything, but I do spend a lot of the time in the field. See, I’m the guy who helps smuggle items in. It’s a pretty straight forward job. I’m provided with the item, sometimes I’m given multiple in case it breaks, and I have to hide it in a specific spot. Sometimes I have to drop a briefcase instead of just the poison or what have you, and let me tell you, do you have any idea how difficult it is to lug a briefcase around? Especially when it has something like a sniper rifle in it, or like one time, I had to deliver a PROXIMITY. BOMB. To the top of, like, some church tower! What was that guy even planning to do? I…

Right, rule number one in my field: Try not to ask too many questions.

The assassins are the smart ones. If I were better at my job, I would have a better job, That’s an undeniable truth. I’m not the best at planning, I can barely keep my hands steady even looking at a gun, and overall? I’m just some guy.

But that’s perfect for this line of work. Can I blend into every place I go? No, of course not. I’m not as inconspicuous as… Him… but let me tell you, it’s a good day when I see someone who looks a lot like me. Cause- the funny thing is, I don’t even have to knock the guy out if I can find his clothes somewhere else.

That’s the second rule in my field: Don’t change anything. Don’t knock anyone out, don’t take anything home with you, heck, I got talked to for moving somebody’s water bottle a foot away. Our assassins are… unpredictable. They’re creative, they innovate. The very existence of the rubber duck explosives should make that clear.

Where was I? Right, so what I do is when I find somebody who I think I can pass off as being, I’ll shadow them for a while, try to learn their mannerisms, maybe hear their voice a few times. Then when I’m ready, I’ll change my clothes somewhere private. You know, I always wondered why none of the top assassins bother to pick up the bagged clothes. Heck, even He never does that. Can’t be that hard to carry. So after that, as long as me and the other guy are never too close to the same area as each other, I’m usually able to blend in pretty well. It’s not really a written rule, but it’s pretty heavily implied to keep interactions with anybody else to a minimum. But it’s not outright banned. Heck, one time I managed to get SOMEBODY ELSE to do my mission FOR ME. It was labeled the most efficient and clean mission of the month in my department, and then immediately added to the list of “Discouraged Strategies.” 

There are really only two rules in my field. Well, two main rules, anyway. There are always stipulations, but they’re conditional. But other than that, it’s just like any other field job. I’m not the best in the agency, but I’m certainly no pushover or anything. What, do you think you could hide a tranquilizer gun in the back of a parade float without being seen, hours before the start of New Orlean’s biggest Mardi Gras parade?

Okay to be fair, it wasn’t very crowded BEFORE the parade started. But do you wanna hear about one of my more interesting missions? I was sent to Miami to place a briefcase with… something inside it (all info is on a need to know basis in the ICA and I did not need to know what was in there) in the gym of the Kronstadt building. I wasn’t provided a map or anything, so I just did what any person not born in a glass cylinder would do, and asked the lady at the front desk for directions.

“Excuse me,” I started. “Where is the gym?” She looked at me like I was crazy. I wasn’t. Just a criminal. Completely different. “I’m sorry?” She responded after a few seconds. “The gym,” I repeated. “I was told there was a gym here.” “Sorry, there’s no gym here.” She told me. “If you want to see some of Kronsdadt’s revolutionary tech, however, please continue to the hallway on my left.” “No, there’s gotta be a gym here.” I probably should’ve just backed away and asked for additional info. I didn’t. “There’s a gym somewhere, right?” The other guy behind the desk perked up. “Oh, I think I heard some of the guards mention a small gym on the top floor. Sorry, but it’s only for employees. Also, the aquarium is currently closed.” This was a huge problem. I love the aquarium. Also, once again, I was going to have to go somewhere that was employee only. 

“Right. Okay. That’s okay. I’m going to. Go.” I walked away, and very clearly did not continue towards the door. As I walked to their right I could hear the guy call out saying “There’s a really nice gym a few blocks down! The quickest path is closed for the race but if you go around it’s nice and you can even go for a day without a membership! You should go!” I noticed a sign that said “Coat Check.” That was perfect. “Not that you’re out of shape or anything!” The guy at the front desk corrected himself. To my relief, nobody was behind the counter. I quickly vaulted over, briefcase in hand, and started looking for any outfit I could change into. I found a uniform similar to the one the guy at the front desk was wearing. This should get me to that gym.

I walk up to the second floor, and start looking for maps. I found one, but there wasn’t a gym on it. I decided my only option was to, again, ask someone for directions again. I was just praying nobody found me, my general demeanor, the large briefcase I was lugging around, or anything else about me suspicious. I walk up to the nearest guard. “Hey uhhh…”  “It’s Ewart. Like the guy at the front desk. No relation.” He cut me off, expecting that I was trying to guess his name. “Right, so, Ewart, where’s the gym again?” That’s how I responded, but the way he looked at me, you would’ve assumed I just told him “Hey there’s a proximity CX demolition block in this briefcase. That’s a fancy way of saying "large bomb.” he brushed the dumbfounded look off and, rudely, said “What are you talking about the gym for? It’s on the top floor, and engineers aren’t allowed up there. Everyone knows this!” I have definitely drawn massive suspicion to myself. There’s one thing that avoids this sounding suspicious, and the overuse of it makes it suspicious all over again.

“Oh, sorry, I’m uh, new here.” the classic cure-all for not knowing things a real person should and does know. Thankfully, this seemed to ease the guy’s suspicion. Unfortunately, he shouted at me to get back to work and I walked away looking pretty awkward. But that’s better than looking suspicious! 

Regardless of how poorly that interaction went, one thing was clear: I needed to find another outfit. “Command, might be stuck. Please advise.” I started combing the second floor while I waited for a response.. Not allowed in the showroom. Nothing in the android lab, or the office behind it. None of the conference rooms or bathrooms had anything. I stepped through a door I unlocked with a “borrowed” keycard. (Rule 2.5: Undo any changes you make.) I was met with an elevator shaft and a door to the overpass overlooking the race track. I looked up, and saw a satellite dish. And a pipe leading to… an open window?

Let me get off track here to make one thing clear.

I’m not Him. Everybody wants to be Him. Everybody wants to be that perfect assassin who’s so good at his job, it’s been debated whether or not he’s real. Everybody wants to be that unfeeling, killing machine whose only weakness is a single woman who works as his handler, and is completely unaware of what some of my co-workers have drawn of- Sorry, where was I? Right. I’m not Him

And I’m definitely not as agile as him. I wasn’t about to climb out a window to complete a mission, was I? I took a moment to consider my odds here. Either I perform poorly on this mission and have to take somebody out (A large briefcase makes that pretty easy, at least) Or I climb out this window and potentially fall to my death, and then get run over.

I am. I waited for the coast to clear, I set the briefcase underneath the couch so nobody would see it, and I stepped out of the window. There was barely enough room for me to walk on, and there was a pipe that would let me climb up. I rolled up my sleeves so that I could stick better and I started climbing. I could hear the wind blowing, the sound of race cars zooming past me, and my heart rate doubling. I summited onto the top floor a changed man. And it was clear in my mind: I might not even be out of here yet. I examined my surroundings. A security room through the window, a storage room, a hallway where I would certainly be seen…

“Brad, the package has been intercepted! Somebody’s taken it!”

My earpiece took me out of my focus. The briefcase must not have been hidden well enough. A guard is likely taking it somewhere like the security room…

Wait, THAT’S WHERE I AM! I watch out the window as some guy sets it down right next to me. I hear them talk through the muffled glass. “Where do you even get a briefcase like this? I oughta get one like that.” I “calmly” and discreetly swipe the briefcase and look for somewhere new to hide. Across the hall is a bathroom I dash into. Time to plan my next move. Okay, nothing here but a bottle of eyedrops and-

“Command, target sighted!” The gym was right outside the window! All I had to do was drop the briefcase where it wouldn’t be seen and take a picture for the agent. I looked around for where I could hide it. The bench might be risky, behind that shelf is- okay, there’s already a battle axe there. I kept crouching, because the place was covered in windows. Crouching is hard, you know? Try crouching right now for a bit. It’s kinda hard. Hurts the knees. Just as I decide I’ll leave it under the bench and just pray, I hear the noise of dread.

“Hey! What are you doing up here, sneaking around like that?”

I rise up, shooting my hands in the air, but not dropping the briefcase. “Wait, isn’t that the briefcase Homer just dropped in?” The guard got closer, waiting to see what was in my case before deciding if my life ends here. “Y- no,” I stumble. I wasn’t trained for combat. That’s why I took this role. “What’s in the case?” The guard took it from me. He started to open it. If there was something in here that was in any way suspicious, I was doomed. The locks snapped open. I braced for the worst. CX demo blocks. A sniper rifle. 20 pounds of hard drugs. Heck, one time there was a sword in there, which is crazy because a sword shouldn’t even be able to-

“Why is there a fish in your briefcase?” My heart rate plummeted, and then went right back up, but for different reasons.. A fish? I risked my life for a fish??? Why couldn’t I have just been an informant instead? And then I remembered rule one, stopped thinking, and adapted. “I’m sorry, I wanted to save it to cook for later… the inside of that case is insulated.” That part was actually true, but I still looked like a huge moron. Who carries around fish they want to cook later, who places their briefcase underneath a bench in an area they're literally not allowed in, and who has an insulated briefcase?? The guard, probably thinking I deserved to be fired and then sent to an asylum, decided to take pity. “Okay, leave the case, come with me, we’re going back downstairs.” I lowered my arms, kicked the case back under the bench, snapped a discreet photo and happily followed Mr. Williams, I think he said his name was, back downstairs. I could hear the horns as the Global Innovation Race ends, as I calmly and discreetly walk out the front door, knowing this was another successful mission, done okay-ish-ly.

I still think about that mission constantly. Mainly the fish part.

Do I regret being a smuggler sometimes? Perhaps. Do I wish I was one of the assassins instead? Definitely not. But it feels good knowing I can help them perform the jobs the world needs for… whatever. Oh, hey, I asked somebody if I could know who wanted me to do the job I was just talking about, and I just got an email back! Let’s see… wait, f-

IT WAS FORTY SEVEN WHO WANTED TO HAVE A FISH SMUGGLED IN!?

[powdermelonkeg]

You wanna rant?

YES

So my computer's charger was on the way out. Combination of the charger itself breaking and the port for it losing grip.

Okay, fine. It's got a USB-C. I can charge with that. Internet says my laptop model supports USB-C charging.

Bought a USB-C charger.

Plugged it in.

Didn't work. Off-brand, the on-brand one was $15 more expensive, the gamble didn't pay off.

Low on money, but have enough to order another (not USB-C) charger. So I figure "fine, I'll return it, get my $40something dollars back, that way it's still like I only bought one charger, even if it falls out."

Was told by Amazon that they'd charge it to my debit card. The one they literally have on file.

Returned the USB-C charger.

"Your refund is being processed! It will take between 3-5 business days."

"Refund issued! $43.09 issued on Jun 30, 2023"

Saturday. Sunday. Monday comes around, no money. That's fine, it's only been one business day, I usually get my rent money on the 6th.

Tuesday's a holiday.

Wednesday, Thursday. Okay, we've hit 3 business days. I'll get it soon, right?

Friday, nothing. It's now the 7th.

"Check the status of my refund."

Chatbot. Prompt list. I can deal with that. "I haven't gotten my refund yet."

"Please wait 3-5 business days for your refund after your return is processed." Only option is "Okay, thanks!" Option closes window.

I do not want to thank Amazon. I want an option for "this was not helpful, let me talk to a human." There are no humans on the Amazon website.

Saturday, Sunday.

Hi! It's now Monday. It has been 11 days since I returned my item. I message my bank; "hey, is my return on hold? If so, can you tell me when it'll be released? Thanks."

Two answers. Thankfully from humans.

"We don't hold returns/refunds, sorry. Check with Amazon?"

"Amazon refunds things through gift cards, we don't have it."

What.jpg

Rush to Amazon website.

"Return received on: Jul 8, 2023"

Scour the website for half an hour because NOTHING except "buy now" is intuitive.

Hey??? I did not agree to this??? Give me back my money???

There is apparently a very convoluted way to get your money back from Amazon. From what I understand, you transfer a gift card to Amazon Pay, then verify yourself through Amazon Pay, then transfer it from there to a bank.

The online articles say to do it through the app.

I download the app. I follow the instructions.

The dropdown option mentioned does not exist.

Back to square one. I do more research on desktop.

Problem 1. There is no button for transferring funds to Amazon Pay from Amazon. I have searched. The site is as bare-bones minimalist as it gets.

Problem 2. "Can I withdraw from my Amazon Pay?" "Yes! Click this link to learn more." The link leads to a FAQ page instead of an actual help article. The word "withdraw" is nowhere in the entire wall of text. I have to comb through it manually. There is no withdrawal help.

Problem 3. Verifying yourself enough to transfer to a bank account involves pictures of cards I do not have, tying a selfie to my account, and having a video chat with a live agent.

I would rather eat cement.

$43.09 gift card balance.

"Would you like a week-long free trial of Prime?"

Closes laptop. Forcefully.

[claire-starsword]

Shining Force II Encyclopedia - Character Profiles

(You can also read this one on Neocities to not have to scroll through 30 characters in one post. Then again maybe you like that, so do whatever you like)

The "Characters" section of the book has a short profile for each character, plus basic gameplay information such as starting class and items, spell list and stat growth. I have ignored the gameplay info as it is basic stuff already covered in guides and walkthrough elsewhere. The strategy part of the book however also has small info boxes for when a character joins the force or appears in the story. I have translated those in this section as well, to gather all character info in one place, and also because Kazin's destroyed me emotionally. I have noted which part of the story some info boxes are placed, when they depend of context.

So, let's start!

Besides the protagonist who you'll be leading the adventure as, there's a total of 29 characters who will become your allies. They'll be a helpful bunch to have around. They are of many different classes and species, but will support you in many ways through this long and harsh war. Among them, some will be hard to recruit. You should find out by yourself how to get them!

This thing opens by telling you all secrets so that's an hilarious line.

Bowie Human / Male The protagonist. A boy with golden hair and blue eyes. Humans are weaker than dwarves and centaurs in battle, and inferior to elves when it comes to intellect. But he has greater endurance and fighting spirit than most humans¹. Aiming to become a legendary hero, he became a swordsman and is training under Sir Astral. His father was in the Granseal army² and disappeared during a expedition to slay a dragon³, so he lives with only his mother now.

¹Humans suck. Luckily for you you are special boy

²His father is mentioned as captain of the army in the JP version.

³Curiously, Mars of Shining Wisdom has a dad with pretty much the same story, except he's brought up in game, although unrelated to the whole plot.

Sarah Elf / Female A girl training under Astral, alongside Bowie. Her long blue hair and big red eyes are quite distinctive. She has always been the kind that enjoys looking after others, and comes across as a big sister despite being the same age as Bowie. Because of that personality she oftens ends up doing the jobs no one likes to do, and is nice enough to pull them off without complaining. New Member blurb: A pupil of Sir Astral, the same age as Bowie. A kind girl good at taking care of others.

It fascinates me how every guide seems to ignore the troublemaking and feisty side of her we see in the actual game. Like, none of the above contradicts it, it's just very pointedly not talking about it.

Chester [Huey] Centaur / Male Bowie and Sarah's classmate. Training under Astral in order to become a knight. He doesn't speak as much as the others, because centaurs are a quite prideful race¹. But his good nature is written plainly on his face. New Member blurb: Being a centaur, his movement is superior. Another student of Sir Astral.

¹i cannot remember a single time this man sounded remotely snobbish. He's more of a pushover at the beginning of the game, and is the one to thank Slade for jailbreaking them at Galam before Sarah decides to grill the man instead. The closest thing I can think of is that he doesn't wanna talk while dismantling the ship. He's also pretty annoyed at Jaha but, it's Jaha. Most people are annoyed at Jaha.

Jaha [Jaja] Hobbit / Male Another classmate, training under Astral to become a warrior. He talks a lot more than the other three, and Chester tends to get annoyed at that. His attack and defense are high, so he'll be a good ally in battle. New Member blurb: The oversleeper joins the team. He's usually clumsy, but a great help in battle. Kazin [Kazun] Elf / Male A boy studying magic under the scholar Hawel, a researcher of the ancient ruins. Has above average talent for magic. He puts up a cool and collected front, but can be quite fiery at times. Key Character blurb: [when met at Yeel Village] Training at magic under Hawel. Has a better reputation at Yeel Village than his master. New Member blurb: [when joining the force after Hawel is killed] Loved Hawel like a real father. A reliable guy, specialist in fire spells.

:'(

Slade [Jippo] Scavenger¹ / Male The one who started the calamity, bringing turmoil to the once peaceful Granseal. He's a thief, and likes the adventure more than gold or fame. New Member blurb: [when met in jail] A scavenger known as the thief on the side of justice. There's still a little time until he fights alongside the force.

¹The term for Slade's species, スケイブン (sukeibun), seems to come from Warhammer’s skaven race, which is pronounced a bit different than the word scavenger (which would be something like スカベンジャー(sukabenjaa) in katakana instead). However, the term first showed up in this series for those rat enemies at the start of Gaiden 1, and SFCD translated it as Scavenger, so I’m going with that. Honestly, I’d rather just call him a ratguy.

Kiwi Green Turtle¹ / No gender² A mysterious creature. Their body and shape is much like a turtle, but no one knows for sure what they are. Given the shell on their back, their defense is absurdly high. Seems they'll grow into an amazing character. New Member blurb: A poor creature put up for sale. The truth about them is deeply shrouded in mystery.

¹Green Turtle is the name of Kiwi's class in-game as well, in the JP version. I usually stick to the official class translations but, TORT has always been a weird one.

²Kiwi has only one line where they use the first person pronoun "boku", which is usually associated with little boys. However, that line is right at the beginning when they are at the pet shop and barely knows how to talk, so it might be them just copying the first little boy they heard. Also, as far as I know, more gender neutral pronouns like "watashi" or "jibun" are not commonly used by little children. One gender neutral option for a little kid would be just using their own name, but Kiwi doesn't even have a name at that point. So the pronoun used makes sense, though it would have been better to just not use any pronouns for such a short line. Then again I'm not taking this turtle as a serious attempt at agender representation, I'm just finger-gunning that no gender label anyway.

I suspect the devs main reason for listing Kiwi as genderless is that Kiwi is named by the player in game, and they didn't want to limit the player's interpretation. Still peculiar that they say "no gender" as opposed to the "unknown" Zynk and Claude got.

For the record, the english localization does refer to Kiwi as a he. I have chosen to use they/them pronouns here to emphasize this piece of trivia and the whole gender discussion.

Peter Phoenix / Male A phoenix chick. The phoenix is a bird spoken of in legends throughout every country. Brimming with curiosity, he's the kind that faces things without much fear. While he's blunt and asks a lot of questions, there's also a certain charm to him. The god Volcanon is like a father to him, and has also influenced a lot of his personality. After promotion, he becomes a very helpful character to have around. New Member blurb: A phoenix that ended up traveling with Bowie and the others. May [Matilda] Centaur / Female A girl of a hunting tribe who loves nature. Despite being both centaur classes, knights and rangers are very different. Compared to the prideful knights, rangers are more cheerful and open. New Member blurb: The ranger May is a bow user. She seems to be bored, so call out to her.

The portrait used for her throughout the guide seems to be from earlier in development.

Gerhalt Beastman / Male Hates crooked things! He's like the personification of moral sense. He's less hairy than other beastmen, and has a complex about it. The kind that likes fighting, rare to find in a peaceful village like that. New Member blurb: A beastman warrior tired of being nice to the villagers who forgot how to fight. Fights with fists strong enough to break stone.

Luke [Ludo] Birdman / Male Prince of Bedoe, the country of birdmen, and a great friend of Peter's. Is both kind and brave. Trusted by god Volcanon, the people of Bedoe work day and night to protect the peace of South Parmecia. New Member blurb: The brave prince of Bedoe. Willing to lay down his life for his country. Rohde [Lloyd] Human / Male A middle aged scholar who studies the Ancients. His fervor for his research has made him respected by other people. However, because he gets too absorbed in it, he's also known as an oddball. New Member blurb: A scholar who lives in the south of Hassan. Obsessed with ancient ruins, he continues to research them on his own. Rick [Mick] Centaur / Male A boy scared of adventures and facing the unknown, who ended up being left behind all alone. After meeting Bowie and the team, he grows up a bit.¹ New Member blurb: A sensitive yet strong willed boy. Lives in the harbor town of Hassan².

¹The manual also describes him as timid, yet he's very enthusiastic when you meet him, taking the initiative to join the team as soon as the Caravan picks his interest. It is possible that this description is more of a past thing, or his personality was reworked late in development. Or even, he might be putting in some effort to hide whatever fears he has.

²While this backstory is in the manual and most official guides as well, it contradicts the in-game story, where Rick has just arrived in Hassan, and had no idea what the town was like.

Elric [Polnaref] Elf / Male A resident of Fairy Woods. Friendly with the fairies and dwarves. Has a great sense of justice, and keeps himself well informed. He's not very strong physically, and can be easily caught by traps.

New Member... blurb? Yeah no, sorry, they forgor him.

For actual Elric trivia, see the post about his mom.

Eric [Elric] Centaur / Male While searching for a magic sword, he got caught in an unfortunate incident and became trapped in a certain place. Has an air of sadness, and is quiet and well mannered. It seems he was lord of a castle somewhere, a long time ago. New Member blurb: A knight who was shrunk down in middle of his travels, searching for a legendary sword. Karna [Twiggy] Human¹ / Female A beautiful woman with a roundish face, but old-fashioned looks. She's fit to work as a priest, having a kind heart. She worries about Bowie and the others getting caught up in an incident as if it was her own problem. New Member blurb: A priest girl. Can use healing magic, so you definitely want to bring her along.

¹You read that right, human. Both this manual and every guide book I know lists both her and Taya as humans despite the ears. I've heard that the official novel calls her a half-elf to go around this issue, but as I don't have the novel (yet) I can't confirm this.

Randolf [Dongo] Dwarf / Male A barbarian who likes to drink. He's happy as long as he has alcohol, and looks like a hooligan. He seems related to gully dwarves¹, as his roughness stands out. The original dwarf people are virtuous and well mannered. New Member blurb: A strong dwarf warrior. Shows incredible destructive power in battle.

¹The term for his subrace (ドブドワーフ) seems to come from Dragonlance, or at the very least that was the only result I got looking it up. I'm gonna take a moment to say I really dislike these fantasy race stereotypes, they usually don't get too much focus on Shining games but I feel this guide in particular is laying a bit thicker on them which is a bit annoying. I already pointed out how the prideful centaurs thing doesn't even match this game's characters.

Tyrin [Piper] Elf / Male A level-headed middle aged mage, who is polite, but a bit hard to talk to. Likely thanks to years of accumulated wisdom, he has good mastery of magic. He is also physically stronger than the younger elves¹. New Member blurb: An user of offensive magic. His mastery of magic will be very useful in battle.

¹Tyrin's physical strength comes up in the manual as well, and it's nothing but a few attack points above Kazin and Taya as far as I know. He still has less than Sarah and the archers, so the elf line is a bit silly. The manual correctly associates it with his class instead.

Janet Elf / Female A girl of the forest who came after her boyfriend, upon hearing that he was working alongside the Granseal army. Her skill with the bow is on par with Elric's. New Member blurb: An elf like Elric, with similar skill with the bow. It's reassuring to have her around. Higins Centaur / Male Captain of the army of Pacalon, the centaur kingdom in North Parmecia. As captain in a country of prideful centaurs, he has a stern personality. However, he has a bit of a scatterbrained side as well. New Member blurb: Captain of the army of the centaur country. With high attack and movement, he has the enemies at his mercy. Skreech [Fielder] Birdman / Male He looks no different from an adult birdman, but is actually still a young boy. Birdmen grow faster than other species. He has a sharp, clear gaze, and a strong body. New Member blurb: Talk to everyone underneath the town's grounds¹. New allies join the force, and someone headed the same way follows along.

¹This blurb pops up at the Moun battle guide, refering to Frayja, Skreech, and Zynk. It is therefore incorrect, since Skreech joins at Tristan. Other parts of the guide describe the correct way of getting him to join, so it's a curious error.

Taya [Linda] Human¹ / Female A shrine maiden serving Goddess Mitula. A very reserved and mysterious woman. She often has a downcast look. She's transformed somewhere, waiting for Bowie. New Member blurb: As talked about in Tristan, someone with the power to control nature awaits somewhere in the shrine.

¹Both this manual and every guide book I know lists both her and Karna as humans despite the ears.

Frayja [Sharol] Hobbit¹ / Male The priest of Moun, tormented by regret over something he did. He looks a bit fat, given his sagging cheeks and the short stature of hobbits. Also at the age where he's losing hair. New Member blurb: Talk to everyone underneath the town's grounds². New allies join the force, and someone headed the same way follows along.

¹Some guide books call him human instead. His proportions are very different from the other hobbits/dwarves in the series so I’m willing to believe that more.

²This blurb pops up at the Moun battle guide, refering to Frayja, Skreech, and Zynk. It's a bit odd, since Frayja joins before the battle, not after freeing the town. It is also just wrong when it comes to Skreech.

Jaro [Falcon] Pegasus / Male Used to be a Galam soldier. Disliked having to fight alongside unknown monsters. The pegasus are a special race, centaurs who have sprouted wings. New Member blurb: Satisfied with how the battle ended, he joins the force as a helpful ally of great mobility. Gyan Hobbit¹ / Male A very hotblooded man. The kind that cannot stand still seeing others in trouble. He's a kindhearted person who loves children, and is always worrying about his family. New Member blurb: Warrior of superb power and stamina. A reassuring ally to have at the very front.

¹He calls himself a dwarf in game. Some other guide books call him a dwarf as well.

Sheela Human / Female An old pupil of Astral. She became a priest after her training, but for some reason has abandoned that profession, and became a disciple in the ascetic monks cabin. She's frank and sociable. New Member blurb: Someone who once trained under Astral. Has great attack and can uses several kinds of magic.

Zynk [Backus] Robot / Unknown¹ Was once just junk lying around in the ancient pathway. After a lot of tinkering from the one who picked them up, they began to move. Joins Bowie after a certain event. New Member blurb 1: [when met on Moun] Talk to everyone underneath the town's grounds. New allies join the force, and someone headed the same way follows along. New Member blurb 2: [when joining after Petro's death] After meeting Petro, he joins the force after following around since Moun.

¹Zynk speaks in a rough manner when first met under the rock of Moun, including using the casual and rough pronoun "ore", which is usually masculine. After that, they switch to polite and gender neutral language.

I suppose that the unknown label here is more due to the fact of robots likely not having a biological sex.

The english localization refers to Zynk as a he. I have chosen to use they/them pronouns here to emphasize this piece of trivia and the whole gender discussion.

Chaz [Oneia] Human / Male Hawel's son. Travelling through many countries as he polishes his magical abilities. Later on, he inherits Hawel's research. A rare kind of mage, curious and enthusiastic. New Member blurb: Here comes a special ally capable of understanding any incident in the world!! A passionate and active mage!! Lemon Human / Male As his appearance shows he is clearly a soldier, the highest commander of the Galam army, in fact. A person who hates crooked behavior and wrongdoings, but for some reason, his personality has completely changed. Key Character blurb: [when coming after the force near Hawel's house] Highest commander of the Galam army. He hates wrongdoings, so why is he acting like this? New Member blurb: [after defeated in the Red Baron fight]: An honest man who shows respect even for his enemies. Would be reassuring if he became an ally. Claude [Mud] Golem / Unknown¹ A stone giant. Supports the group from behind the scenes without drawing much attention, but can unleash powerful attacks with their huge body. Their weak point is their low movement, but since they can take many hits, they can work well as a shield.

¹Claude speaks casually and uses the rough and masculine pronoun "ore" when first met. In HQ, they are slightly more polite and use the polite and gender neutral "watashi" instead. Because there's not dialogue about them, I don't recall the english version using any pronouns for them as well.

I suppose that the unknown label here is more due to the fact of golems likely not having a biological sex.

Claude does not get a new member blurb, because the guide does not cover the Ancient Pathway as part of the walkthrough.

[maria021015]

Reaching out through the darkness and feeling along the wall in the entry hallway, Zaida’s fingers found the light switch and flicked it on and off a few times before letting out a disappointed sigh. “Power’s still out,” She muttered and ventured further into the apartment slowly, feeling out with the toes of her boots so as to not bump into anything along her way.

“It’ll probably be out for a while,” Stiles informed her, having far more knowledge on the subject than she did. He closed and locked the front door behind them, following after her.

Moving into the living room, Zaida dropped the shock blanket onto the couch, continuing onwards to her bedroom. Her body sagged with exhaustion and all she wanted to do was strip out of her clothes and into something comfortable. Crossing her room, she made a beeline for her chest of drawers, pulling out a set of pyjamas and dumping them on the end of her bed. Instead of getting changed straight away, she flopped down on her mattress and the structure bounced beneath her slightly as her back hit the duvet. Turning her head to see Stiles standing apprehensively in the doorway, she patted the space beside her to signal that it was okay for him to enter. In all of the times he’d been over at the apartment, he’d never been in her bedroom.

Instead of taking her up on her invitation for him to lay beside her, his eyes roamed languidly around the contents of her room. Scanning from the dresser and the bottles of perfume and displayed make-up upon it, past her walk-in closet and the chest of drawers beside it, he stepped further into the space. Drinking every last detail in, Stiles noticed the various jewellery holders and the frames of artworks he could only assume had been done by Zaida. Her room wasn’t messy by any means, but almost every surface was crowded with various trinkets and each told a story that he was eager to uncover.

“Is this an actual typewriter?” His eyes widened in wonder as he spotted the item on the bookshelf in the back corner of the room.

“Yeah, I convinced Mom and Dad that writing on a typewriter would somehow make me a better author,” Zaida laughed softly at herself. “Really, I was chasing a certain aesthetic which was just incredibly pretentious of me, and as it turned out, actually writing with the thing was a bitch.”

“You wanted to be an author?” He prompted her, fingers trailing over the spines of her many books. There were some titles he recognised but more that he didn’t.

“Yeah, it was one of my many phases,” She nodded with a faint smile as fond memories rose to the surface.

“I’m guessing artist was one,” Stiles raised a brow at an oil on canvas sunset hanging on her wall, then shifted to the many collectibles dispersed across the bookshelf. His heart beat just that little bit faster against his ribs when his eyes landed on the shell he had pulled from the waves at the beach house and slipped into her bag.

“Artist, author, marine biologist…” Zaida listed the dream professions of her past. “Now I have no idea what I wanna do.”

“I always knew what I wanted to be,” He reminisced as he finally took a seat at the end of her bed, dropping backwards to lie beside her. Both of them stared at the ceiling as he continued. “A detective - from the moment I learned I couldn’t be a superhero, or a drummer, or a skateboarder - that was all I could ever see myself doing.”

“Well duh, that’s like, what you were born to do,” She chuckled, a smile in her voice. “I could see you starting your own private detective business after training with the FBI, and then taking on supernatural cases. You could be the first detective for the supernatural realm.”

“That’s the dream,” He let out a sigh of longing at the very thought of it. “You know, we could always do it together. We make a pretty great team already.”

“‘Callis and Stilinski Private Investigations’,” She outlined the words in mid-air. “Our tagline can be ‘Snooping of the super and the natural’.”

“Oh my God,” Stiles groaned loudly, burying his face in his hands. “Nevermind, I rescind my offer. You can work for me instead, at ‘Stilinski and Associates Detective Agency ’, ‘Where every case meets resolution’.”

“That’s so…boring.” Zaida wrinkled her nose at him in jest.

“Boring? You think people looking for someone to find out what happened to their murdered or missing friends and family would want a more exciting brand? Something a little more fun?” He shifted onto his side to face her with an exaggerated incredulous expression, eyebrows raised and mouth dropping open. “Really?”

“Yes, really.” She repeated insistently, mirth glinting in her bright hazel eyes as she kept pushing for the sole purpose of pissing him off.

“You know what, I think you need to stop talking,” He fought hard to keep the grin of amusement off his face, but he failed when his lips tugged slightly upwards as he gazed at the girl beside him. Her hair was fanned out over the mattress behind her and her dimples were pronounced with the broad width of her smile. It was like staring straight into the sun.

“Oh, and how are you gonna make me do that, Detective Stilinski,” She teased mockingly, swiftly shutting up when he rolled over to prop himself up on top of her. Her eyes widened and her mouth went dry, her lips clamping shut as her heart was jolted into a thunderous pace.

“Hallelujah, she’s quiet!” Stiles smirked triumphantly at the reaction he had drawn forth from her. Zaida pouted darkly, her face flushed as her eyes flickered away from his, squirming under the intensity of his stare.

“You know what, if you’re gonna play dirty,” She muttered, a plan forming in her mind as she brought her arms around his neck, dropping his jaw. She plastered a false bravado to shield her inner reaction from him, not wanting to allow him the satisfaction. “I can play dirty too. Very dirty.”

Slowly dragging her knee up his body as a ruse, she planted her heel against the mattress and slid one hand down to press firmly against his chest. He shuddered and gaped at her, eyes half-lidded in a way that made her blood thrum from the power she clearly held over him. In a split second, she was flipping them over. Before he knew it, his back was pressed against the mattress and her thighs straddled his own. A choked sound escaped him at the sight of her on top of him, her hair falling in a dark waterfall of cascading tresses as her hazel eyes narrowed at him almost seductively. With a salacious smile, she bent down lower towards his face, her body pressing into his in a way that set him alight.

“I think that means I win,” She whispered, but he was barely listening, instead focusing on the slightly pink hue of her lips and struggling to remember why it was a bad idea to bridge the gap and kiss her. Why were they holding back again? Space, that was right, she’d asked for space. So why was there barely any?

The loud slam of the front door closing and heavy work boots thudding across floorboards sent spikes of panic into both of their chests. “Zay! Where are you?” Xander called out into the dark apartment. “Is Stiles still here?”

In his frazzled state, all the boy could think about was the incriminating position they were about to be discovered in, and the fastest way to get out of it. Gripping Zaida’s hips frantically, he tried to push her off him, only unfortunately for both of them, the bed had run out of mattress room. Zaida yelped lightly as she fell through thin air, landing with a heavy thunk on the ground.

“Zay? You okay?” Xander’s voice echoes through the apartment, his footfalls getting louder and louder as they got closer.

“Shit,” Stiles hissed and launched himself off the bed and onto his feet, crossing the room to sit on the small ottoman stool in front of Zaida’s vanity. When he turned back she was climbing onto the bed, smoothing her hair and leaning on her hands casually as if nothing had happened.

“What’s going on?” Xander pushed the ajar door further open, his brows furrowing and eyes narrowing, flickering between the two teens on opposite sides of the room.

“Oh, nothing! Nothing! We were just hanging out…nothing going on,” Stiles spluttered awkwardly with a nervous smile, nodding up and down awkwardly as he fidgeted on the stool.

“I was just watching Stiles do his make-up,” Zaida chuckled lightheartedly, trying to joke to distract her brother from the very clear tension in the room.

“Right,” Xander stared with analytical eyes and Stiles gulped, feeling as if the man was staring straight through to his soul. “I think it’s time for you to go home, Stiles.”

“Yeah, right, totally,” He nodded, jumping straight to his feet and heading towards the door without so much as glancing in Zaida’s direction. Xander’s hand shot out to bar him from exiting and Stiles’ stomach churned anxiously. “Wha…? Don’t let me catch you in my sister’s room again. Okay?”

“Yeah,” The word was barely audible among the deep shaky breath Stiles let out as Xander dropped his arm. The boy scrambled towards the entrance of the apartment, Leaving Zaida glaring at her brother.

“Did you really have to try scare him? Nothing was happening,” She turned the situation around onto Xander.

“I don’t like you having boys in your room, especially when no one else is home and the power is out.” He stated definitively, indicating that he wouldn’t be budging on this particular matter.

“Stiles isn’t just any boy!” Zaida called after him as he turned his back on her, moving into the hallway and out of her sight.

“That’s what I’m afraid of…” He murmured to himself, worry rising within him. Sometimes it was hard to look at his sister and see the young woman she was when all that came to his mind's eye was that little girl clutching him and crying as their parents' bodies lay on the other side of a door.

“Ooh, bold, “ Lydia commented on Zaida’s makeup with an approving smirk as the brunette approached her at her locker in the darkened hallway. The sunlight streaming through windows wasn’t nearly enough to illuminate the whole school building. “I love it! But a repeat hairstyle? Never gonna love it as much as I did yesterday.”

“Noted,” Zaida rolled her eyes good-naturedly at the girl, glancing towards Allison. “Have you told her yet?”

“Told me what?” The huntress arched a brow at them inquisitively.

“Barrow was actually at the school, performing minor surgery in a chemical closet - which was why we couldn’t find him. It was masking his smell.” The redhead explained. “Someone left a coded message on the blackboard instructing Barrow to go after Kira - the new girl.”

“Barrow attacked Scott and Kira at her house and, well the flies Lydia was hearing weren’t actually flies, it was electricity. So Stiles figured out he was taking Kira to a power substation.” Zaida added but with quickly interrupted by a scowling Allison.

“Wait, what was Scott doing at Kira’s house?” The girl questioned with an unmistakable bitter tone.

“Her dad invited him over for dinner as a thank you for saving her from getting eaten by Malia.” The redhead explained.

“Yeah, and when we got to the power station Barrow was trying to kill her and live electricity was just going crazy everywhere but then Kira absorbed it, and her skin was glowing and everything. It was crazy!” Zaida recounted the surreal events of the night before.

“Right,” Allison nodded, trying to remain impartial and failing miserably.

“Okay, you look like we’ve just wafted a log of shit under your nose,” The shorter brunette snorted. “What’s going on? Are you…jealous?”

“Of course not, don’t be ridiculous.” Allison wrinkled her nose, shaking her head as if she was brushing something off.

“Oh my God, you totally are!” Lydia’s lips spread into a wide smile of amusement.

“Why should I be jealous? I’m the one who ended things with him.” The huntress bristled stiffly, becoming defensive. “So he’s moving on - so what? I could move on too if I wanted to.”

“Key words there being ‘if I wanted to’.” Lydia pointed out with a smug expression plastered to her face.

“What was that you were lecturing me about? Denying my emotions?” Zaida sent the girl an incisive look. “Just be honest Allison, we all know you still care about him and it’s okay to feel jealous, but you really don’t need to be. Scott’s still totally in love with you and Kira having a crush on him doesn’t change that.”

“Can we talk about something else please?” Allison sighed, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning against the wall of lockers. “Like whose place are we getting ready for Danny’s party at?"

“Oh yeah, about that. Danny texted me and the party’s off. The venue he booked doesn’t have a backup generator, so no power. Bummer,” Lydia shook her head dissapointedly.

“That sucks, I had an outfit picked out and everything,” Zaida grumbled, flinching when Coach Finstock waltzed down the corridor, pointing his megaphone right at her.

“Class starts in five minutes! Just because there's no power, don't expect there to be no school!” He was screaming despite the device already amplifying his volume. He was loud enough on his own - whoever had given him the thing must really hate them all.

“That was a triple negative,” Stiles called out over his shoulder at the man with a wink as he pulled his books out of his own locker further down the hall. “Very impressive, Coach.”

“Copy that.” Finstokc nodded appreciatively, still talking through the speakers.

“I swear, they’re like best friends,” Zaida snorted at the interaction, having never seen Coach tolerate anyone as much as he did Stiles.

“What’s your mom doing here?” Zaida asked the redhead beside her as they walked into the classroom, spotting the woman at the front desk organising a pile of papers.

“She’s started casual teaching here. You know, since supernatural beings seem to be picking off our teachers one by one,” The girl answered sassily, slipping into a seat at one of the desks. Zaida moved to sit in the empty chair beside her, but Aiden slid in before she could take it, earning him a dangerous glower.

“If you don’t move, I swear I’m gonna-” Zaida began, narrowing her eyes threateningly until someone hooked their arm through hers, tugging her away.

“Hey, Zaida! Let’s not provoke the angry one, yeah?” He flashed her a grin, leading her to sit at the table behind Lydia and the ex-alpha twin.

“I could take him,” She insisted, staring daggers into the back of the boy’s head.

“I have no doubts about that, but if we want the supernatural to stay a secret maybe we should refrain from starting fights in the public eye,” He whispered under his breath, pulling his books out of his backpack. Zaida grumbled an indecipherable complaint under her breath but otherwise accepted his reasoning. He wasn’t exactly wrong.

“Sweetheart, since this is my first class, I just want to remind you of one thing…” Natalie Martin looked down at her daughter sweetly, walking through the centre aisle as the students prepared themselves. “Try not to embarrass me.”

“You should have thought of that before wearing those shoes,” Lydia shot back, her stuck-up expression melting into a soft smile. “Love you!”

“Love you, too.” Mrs Martin said sweetly before moving on, causing Aiden to lean towards Lydia.

“Why's your mom teaching biology?” He asked her - as if he hadn’t heard Lydia answer the exact same question for Zaida. The brunette’s ears perked up from the table behind, listening to the entire conversation with laser-like focus.

“Because Mr. Harris used to teach biology...until his new occupation,” The girl answered with a pointed glare. “Human sacrifice.”

“What? I didn't kill him.” Aiden scoffed, and only afterwards did he read the redhead’s hostile emotions. “Lydia, what?”

“The other day, I helped save someone's life. That felt really good. And I look at you, and all I can think is that you helped kill Boyd.” Lydia finally yielded with an explanation in a low voice. “You're not just a bad boy, Aiden - you're a bad guy. And I don't want to be with bad guys anymore.”

“Yes!” Zaida hissed a cheer from behind the two and Aiden shot her a scowl from over his shoulder before he got up and moved to a different table. She shot Stiles an apologetic smile before moving to take the werewolf’s spot beside Lydia. “I am so proud of you! That was awesome!”

“It did feel pretty good,” The redhead admitted with a shy smile, her disposition brightening at Zaida’s reaction. She was turning a new chapter - one that wasn’t going to involve any toxic relationships with shitty men. She deserved better, and now she knew better.

“Hey!” Zaida chirped as she plonked her bag by the individual desk in front of Stiles, dropping down onto the seat and swivelling to face him. “I’m sorry about last night - that whole thing with Xander.”

“Pfft, that’s alright. What’s one more frightening conversation with your brother,” He brushed it off. “...Who owns a gun .”

“Actually he owns several guns, among other things,” Zaida shrugged with an amused smirk tugging at her lips.

“That’s so much better,” Stiles muttered with a warry glint behind his amber eyes.

“Anyway, did you hear Danny’s Halloween blacklight party got un-cancelled?” She brought up the subject in what she hoped was a casual manner, butterflies fluttering about her stomach anxiously.

“It did?” His eyebrows ticked upwards at the information.

“Yeah, and guess where it’s been moved to?” She asked with a mischievous tone. He shrugged as in indication for her to go on. “Derek’s loft.”

“Who volunteered Derek’s place?” Stiles gaped at her. As far as they knew Derek and Peter still weren’t back in town, so it should all be fine. Right?

“I have no clue, but I was wondering if you were going?” Zaida asked, tucking her loose strands of hair behind her ears to expel some of her nervous energy.

“Yeah, probably. If nothing supernatural decides to ruin our plans. Again.” He snickered, tapping his pencil across his open history book.

“Great, so you’ll pick me up at eight?” She bit her lip slightly, waiting for his reaction.

“Yeah, sure, you need a ride?” He nodded, the meaning behind her request going right over his head.

“A ride, a dance partner…a date?” The girl trailed off, her hazel eyes locking onto his in a wide and hopeful expression.

“A da-” Stiles swallowed thickly, his heart leaping into his throat. “Yeah, ab- absolutely!”

“Great,” She smiled and turned back around to face the front of the classroom to hide the redness dusting her cheeks as her insides felt as though they might burst with excitement.

“Oh, uh, wait,” He tapped on her shoulder, leaning forward over his desk to recapture her attention. She hummed to confirm that she was indeed listening as Mr Yukimura started the lesson. “How about I pick you up at seven? I’ve gotta help Kira and Scott break into the Sheriff’s station to steal her phone back from evidence.”

“Why do they need to steal Kira’s phone back? I mean, I totally get needing your phone, but it seems a little…extreme.” Her brows drew together into a furrowed line.

“Uh, naked pictures. She doesn’t want anyone to see ‘em.” Stiles mumbled in a quiet voice.

“Oh,” Zaida blinked, having been caught off guard. “Right, yeah, that makes sense. Okay, seven it is then.”

“Great, can’t wait!” Stiles pulled away and settled back into his chair, his foot tapping as his mind reeled with giddy anticipation. Zaida had asked him out. Zaida Callis had asked him out on a date!

Zaida wasted no time in climbing into the passenger seat of the Jeep as soon as Stiles pulled up outside the apartment building. She clicked her seatbelt into place and situated herself before glancing at the boy, only to find Stiles staring at her with his jaw wide open. “What?” She frowned at him, her mind immediately going to her outfit. Was it too short? Too tight? Had her make-up smudged?

“You look amazing - gorgeous! You…you look gorgeous,” He stumbled over his words as he blinked rapidly, as if trying to clear the fog from his head.

Clearing his throat he forced his attention back onto the road as she grinned with pride growing within her at being able to elicit such a reaction from him. Her heart warmed and the heat that had sparked between them remained as they sped through Downtown. Within fifteen minutes they were pulling into the back parking lot behind the Sheriff Station, lights turned off to avoid being seen. Zaida leaned forward, peering into the darkness until the movement of two figures caught her eye.

“There they are,” She pointed them out to the boy beside her and he slowed as they approached. Stiles rolled his window down as Scott and Kira approached, turning the car off and pulling his extensive collection of keys out of the ignition.

“Okay, this one will get you into all of the perimeter doors…” The boy got straight down to business, flashing Scott the keys he’d need to use to get to where they needed to go. “This one into the evidence room...And this one's for my father's office.”

“You didn't steal these, did you?” Scott asked anxiously as he took the set of clanging metal.

“No, I cloned them using the RFID emulator,” Stiles answered casually as Zaida shook her head at him. The boy was prepared, she’d give him that much.

“...Is that worse than stealing?” The werewolf’s eyebrows shot up towards his hairline in astonishment.

“It's smarter…” Stiles shot back awkwardly, though it was not devoid of his usual sassy disposition.

“Scott, can I ask you something?” The nervous girl beside him shifted from foot to foot, and Scott nodded and led her a few paces away from them to speak privately.

“Okay, I'll just…” Stiles sat back in his seat somewhat bitterly, watching the interaction with laser-like focus.

“What are you up to?” Zaida narrowed her eyes at him, having a feeling that he had some deeper plan or ulterior motive going on.

“With what?” He questioned innocently but she wasn’t buying it.

“You encouraging Scott and Kira - I thought we were all rooting for Scallison reuniting,” She explained.

“Sometimes people just need a little…push to figure out what they really want,” Stiles shrugged admittedly. “But Scott and Allison need someone to shove them off a cliff .”

“It’s funny, I think they’d all say the same thing about us,” She hummed and a soft puff of laughter escaped his lips and they both shut up as Scott and Kira turned back towards the open car window.

“Okay. So, now almost everybody's out dealing with the blackout, but there's always somebody at the front desk - there's dispatch and usually a night-shifter or two. You guys are gonna use the service entrance by the dumpster, all right? Nobody uses it.” Stiles slipped right back into informant mode. “Now, I'll text you if anyone comes out, but Scott, if you get caught, I can't help you. My dad's under investigation for impeachment because of your dad, so...if anything happens, I will run and leave you both for dead.”

Kira grimaced nervously at the boy’s harsh statement, but Scott nodded in understanding. “Got it. Thanks.” He spoke with a sincerity that made Zaida smile. “Seriously, dude.”

“I'd ask my dad, but you know…” Stiles trailed off apologetically, his tone deepening at the mere thought of the precarious position his father was currently in.

“No, I know. I get it.” His best friend assured him gratefully.

“All right. Just, uh…” Stiles sighed. “Hurry up.”

“So…what do we do while they’re in there doing our job?” Zaida huffed in quiet boredom as the duo disappeared inside the building, leaving her alone with Stiles. “You know, snooping and breaking the law.”

“Well, we can stop using the word ‘snooping’ for starters,” He smirked at her with a mischievous glint behind his eyes. In this lighting, they looked to be a rich coffee brown with a swirling depth to them that drew Zaida in.

“Oh come on, you love it,” She shook her head at him admonishingly with a cheeky grin. “Admit it, you just like to argue with me.”

“I think you’re the one who likes to argue,” He pointed out with a fondly arched eyebrow.

“Hmm, well it is intellectually stimulating,” The brunette hummed and flipped her long hair over her shoulder with a shrug, leaning in towards him. “Or maybe it’s just my way of flirting, but maybe I should try and speak your language.”

“Oh yeah, what’s that?” Stiles’ gaze darkened, his eyes flickering downwards as she inched closer and closer. Would this be it? Would she do it?

“Did you know wolves actually communicate within the pack through facial expressions?” She whispered in a comically seductive voice, waiting a moment to see the realisation cross Stiles’ face before she pulled back in a fit of laughter.

“That- okay, that’s a low blow, Callis,” The boy shook his head, his face burning bright red with embarrassment. He knew exactly what unfortunate incident she’d been referring to, and whilst it had ended well it wasn’t something he was proud of.

“But hey, you’re improving. You managed to tell me I look pretty tonight without some obscure fact. That’s progress for sure,” She teased him with a bright smile and he shook his head at her, turning to look out the window to hide his flushed complexion.

“Aw, hell,” he grumbled under his breath and his posture stiffened, causing Zaida to reach over the centre console to squeeze his hand.

“Oh come on, don’t be dramatic. It’s not that bad,” She reassured him only for him to grip her chin and turn her face towards the same thing he was looking at. Agent McCall was just driving into a space further down the car park. Her heart dropped into her stomach. “Aww, hell.”

[legionofplush]

As I said, those aren't all the designs I wanna make, that's just where I had to put a cut off cause One Piece has infinite numbers of pets and zoans and characters which just kinda look like one animal and such. So, I'm gonna list all the characters below and whether I plan to do them and why or why not so if you were hoping your blorbo would be in this series and they aren't yet, you can see if I plan to do them. If your love is not on this list, please feel free to reply or tag and let me know who and what. There's so many of these and I just keep stumbling upon them (my ass just entirely forgot about Yokozuna till, like, 2 weeks ago) so I'm sure I missed some ones I'd love to make. It's a long ass list though so it's under the read more link. Feel free to control F your character so you don't have to read the whole thing.

So, other little designs I'm planning to make but make no promises about written in the format of character - animal/item for onesie:

X-Drake - Dinosaur

Sabo - Dragon (American style so I can put little wings on the back)

Franky - Toad (Yokozuna!)

Robin - Tortoise (Banchi)

Iceburg - Rat (Tyrannosaurus)

Koala - Koala (I know it's just a name but I love her and I want her in my hands)

Shirahoshi - Shark (Megalo)

Bon Clay - Swan (Gotta get all the queers up in this bitch)

Yamato - Zoan Wolf Thing (If I can get the sublimation working to get that sweet, sweet ombre)

Chopper - Cotton Candy (Similar to Katakuri's donut)

Nami - Zeus (It's basically the cotton candy onesie with a face, let's be honest)

Gear 5 Luffy - Cloud (Honestly, if I were to do one of the japanese dragon designs, it would be to make Gear 5 Luffy emerge from Kaidou's mouth like Shirahoshi does but it's more a horror movie moment but my issue with those designs is below)

Corazon - A heart (Like, just in a big ole heart)

Onigiri as an extra onesie for Law!

Bacura as an extra Boa onesie!

Meat onesie for Luffy, I can make a little bone stick out of the top and everything

Not a priority but maybe if I get through all the others:

Ceasar - Axolotl (Smiley)

Conis - Fox (Su)

Two remaining Gorgon Sisters - Snakes

King - Pteranodon

Black Maria - Spider

Pell - Falcon

Bian - Pink Bee

Bellamy - Hyena

Brooke - Laboon (The embroidery on this would be hell so it'll likely never be done but god would it be cute)

Might see if I can do something with Minks and the Sulong form but that's a tad difficult to differentiate. I don't just wanna put Carrot in a Rabbit onesie, ya know?

I know the marine admirals are all linked to animals in their names and symbols and Garp's dog hat so I might do them but they're, like, at the bottom of my list.

Original warlords but in seraphim coloring with little black wings and fire embroidered on their backs (though croc’s would not have a cigar cause the kids ain’t smoking)

Characters I know fit the category but I don't want to or feel like I can't do for various reasons:

Doflamingo - I know he's very popular and no hate to anyone who likes him but I don't want that man in my house so he's not gonna be.

Gecko Moria - I don't think I can do his head in this style and have it work, I'm sorry. And he's not Gecko Moria without his weird shape.

Any equine character - I have not figured out the hooves nor the face and maybe I will but it's still a no for now. Cavendish, Stronger, Kaku, none of em yet.

The japanese style dragon zoans - It's a really complicated design which would be really hard so I don't really wanna do it.

All the other ancient/artificial zoan Beast Pirates - 1. I haven't hit Wano and barely know them and 2. trying to make, like, ten dinosaur designs which can all be differentiated in this really simple style sounds like hell and I like Drake best so he gets dino-priority. Kings is at least a very visually different dino and if I make him I can have him, Law, Ace, and Robin have a "the government wants us dead for nothing but having survived their horrible acts of violence" tea party, which I want and thus am willing to work for, so Drake and King are my dinos.

Surume - I haven't figured out how to do an octopus but I promise you, I'm trying to think of it

Robson, Hakowan - I don't wanna do Wapol, I'm so sorry for the fans I'm sure exist somewhere.

Nyashi - I haven't gotten to whole cake and thus have no real positive Vinsmoke opinions, sorry. And I'm not putting Sanji in a Vinsmoke onesie, I wouldn't disrespect him like that.

Funkfreed - Spandam is nowhere near my top but I'm somewhat willing to bend if there's a burning fanbase which there seems to be somewhere and maybe they'll find this post and come for me. Mostly cause one of my friends likes him.

Catarina Devon - I don't really want to but also my friend (same one who like Spandam) really likes the blackbeards so you might see her anyways.

Five Elders - Unknown devil fruits don't count.

Drophy, Chaka, Pierre, Jabra, Tamago, Morgans, Pekoms, Dalton - Just kinda don't want to, sorry to these Zoans

Fishmen - There's so many and I don't wanna fall on that sword quite yet. I promise, every few days I think of doing Jinbe cause a whale shark would be hella cute and I love him but that's opening up such a can of worms.

That’s my list. I know there are some characters who are associated with animals but don’t have the other form, pet, or any visual motif, like Zoro with Tigers but I tried to stick with ones which were crewmates, pets, zoans, or visual motifs. That being said, Sabo with his dragon themed attacks and Koala with her name are on my list so I’m hardly firm on that rule.

If I missed anyone or if you think someone really needs a onesie, please feel free to comment or tag, I might make them and I absolutely haven't thought of all of them. Like while typing the Zeus/Gear 5 section, I just realized I could also make Smoker in a cloud, just like, a slightly greyer cloud cause it's smoke. I could totally do that and unfortunately, now I might.