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jalapeno-princess · 4 years ago

Text

Give It a Try

Mark Tuan X Male Reader

Word Count: 3.2K

Genre: Fluffy with a tiny bit of angst

Summary: You and Mark have been tip toeing around each other’s feelings for the last few months but that’s because you’re afraid to give him your all. However, after coming to the conclusion that he genuinely cares for you and wants to take things further between the two of you, you no longer see the point in preventing things to blossom in to something beautiful.

A/N: This was requested by @xavi-in-kpopland this is actually my first time writing a male x male story so I hope you enjoy it! I’m sorry if it doesn’t reach your expectations :( but thank you again for requesting! (Based on the song Fire by the Pointer Sisters)

I'm ridin' in your car You turn on the radio You're pullin' me close I just say no I say I don't like it But you know I'm a liar 'Cause when we kiss, ooh FireLate at night You're takin' me home You say you want to stay I say I want to be alone I say I don't love you But you know I'm a liar 'Cause when we kiss, ooh Fire

“I can feel you looking at me. You’re not exactly discreet about it Mark. Stop that. You’re supposed to keep your eyes on the road. If we die tonight because you can’t keep your eyes off of me, I’ll kill you.” His adorable high pitch laughter that you loved yet hated so much because of the effect it had on you echoed throughout his car and overpowered the playlist of songs he claimed reminded him of you.

The two of you had just finished watching the new Keanu Reeves movie that recently came out and Mark’s been begging you to go and see it with him as soon as he saw the movie poster posted up at the mall. At first, you rejected him just to play around with him but deep down you knew you were going to give in to him. You’d do anything for the beautiful boy behind the wheel; he meant a lot to you. More than you wanted to admit out loud to him and even to yourself.

You enjoyed playing hard to get; something about knowing that the most admired and desired guy on campus having eyes for nobody else but you sent fire to your bones. You knew you had Mark hooked, but you wanted to make sure he was in it for the long run and that his intentions were pure. The last thing you needed was for the most popular guy in school to dump you like you were nothing and leave you in the dust, making you look like the biggest loser at your university.

To your dismay, the more time you spent with him, the faster you began losing your resolve; but it was inevitable. You and Mark have been fooling around with one another for almost four months now. There was a little voice in the back of your head telling you that he would’ve left a long time ago if he didn’t have at least some kind of romantic feelings for you and you were well aware that Mark was where you kept your heart. It took you a while to accept your feelings for him, but you loved Mark.

Although some people may consider it too early to really know how far your feelings went for him, when it’s love you just know. There was a warm feeling in your chest every time you’d spend time with him and once he would drop you back to your apartment, you were left feeling empty and counted down the hours until you got to see him again. You wanted to wait it out a little bit more to see that he was worth risking your heart for. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust him. No; in the last four months, he’s shown you nothing but kindness, support, patience and generosity.

He helped you learn to love who you were and to embrace your sexuality. It’s just that you’ve been hurt a few times in the past by assholes who thought it would be funny to pretend that they too were interested in guys knowing that you were one of the only people who genuinely did not care if everyone knew your gender preference when it came to your significant other. Knowing who he was and who his friends were, you were afraid to let Mark in your life the day he approached you in your religion class asking you for help.

All the girls in your class were extremely obvious about their attraction for him and you couldn’t blame them; he was indescribably good looking and quite the charmer. But from what you heard through the grapevine, Mark had no interest in girls. There were days where you found yourself daydreaming about what it would be like getting to date him, hold hands with him, go on cute little dates with him and to kiss those plump lips of his; but that’s all you had thought would happen.

If someone were to tell you months ago that you’d be in a complicated relationship with Mark, you’d laugh in their face. You didn’t know when your tutoring sessions turned in to meeting up with him to get food at two in the morning, or cuddling with him while he played video games over at your apartment, but it was in those moments where you’d find yourself questioning the status of your relationship with the older boy. The two of you were more than friends but less than lovers and you knew it was because you weren’t ready to take things further just yet.

If you were to put a title on what you and Mark were, you had a feeling things would only go downhill from there and you didn’t want to lose him before you could really enjoy being with him. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him hesitantly moving his hand towards your lap; something he always did whenever you’d go on drives together. Most of the time, you’d swat his hand away even if you wanted nothing more than to intertwine your hands together. There were days where you allowed him to hold your hand or to even pull you in to his embrace, but for the most part you would always push him away the second you felt his touch.

Whenever you’d see him flush in embarrassment from the rejection, you felt a pain in your chest and you hated being so rash towards him. Especially because he treated you as if you were the most delicate flower. Sooner or later, you were going to have to give in to him before he finally gave up on this frustrating game of car and mouse. You had a huge feeling he was probably getting tired of how cold you would act towards him but not once did he complain or force you to do something you didn’t want to which was what you admired about him the most.

Unfortunately, for the last few days your mind has been all over the place. You couldn’t help but overthink that the longer you kept pushing Mark away and prevented things from blossoming between the two of you, that he would soon grow tired and find someone who was willing to treat him the way he deserved. Mark could get anybody he wanted; this you knew was true and you didn’t know why he settled for someone like you, but you weren’t going to continue to push him away. Tonight, you planned on allowing whatever it was going between you and Mark; a fling of some sorts turn in to whatever it is that he wanted for the two of you.

Since he didn’t seem like he was going to initiate anything, you reached over the console and pulled his hand on to your lap before intertwining your fingers together. Seeing his breath hit at your sudden movement made you smile softly to yourself. Was this man really going to be twenty-seven years old in a couple of months? Sometimes you’d forget how old Mark really was because of how childlike he’d act around you.

“Are you—is everything okay?” His question caused you to look at him in curiosity.

“I’m fine. Oh—are you not okay with this?” As you were about to pull your hand away, he tugged on it all but gently and brought yours hands up to his lips before placing a gentle kiss on the back of it. Your heart rate began increasing as soon as you felt his lips on your skin; in the few moments that he’d kiss you, whether they were chaste kisses against your cheek or passionate, steamy make out sessions, any moment spent with his lips on any one of your body parts sent your body in flames.

“No no—I’m okay with this—more than okay. Trust me. I just—I’m not used to you initiating things like this. You’re always so quick to push me away, so it’s taking a little longer for me to get used to your clingy side—ow! When did you become so strong? Just wait till we park y/n, you’re going to regret that.”

You playfully rolled your eyes and squeezed his hands as you turned your attention back to the road. “Ooooh, I’m so scared.” His little giggle at your sarcasm made you blush. God, this man was going to be the death of you.

“Hey y/n do you—would it be okay if—ah, never mind.” When it was just the two of you, Mark would always be so shy and soft spoken sometimes. It wasn’t something you were used to, even after months of getting to know the real him. The Mark that nobody else got to see. To the world; his friends, your professors and fellow classmates, Mark was an extremely outgoing, talkative and an all-around guy. He had this aura about him; a kind of confidence that made people gravitate toward him.

He portrayed himself to be such a dominant and superior individual but when it was just the two of you, he could turn in to the biggest ball of fluff. Although he didn’t say it, he never had to. It was obvious that Mark was whipped for you, and you were hoping by the end of tonight you’d prove to him that you felt the same exact way.

“What is it?” Once he got to a stoplight, he turned and looked at you with an unidentifiable look on his face before shrugging indifferently. “Is it alright if I come over tonight? I kinda don’t want to let you go just yet.” You could tell it took him a lot of courage to ask you something he knew you’d probably say no to. Hearing that he wanted to spend more time with you sent warmth to your cheeks. How could you say no to him knowing that he wanted to stay with you just a little while longer? Especially because you had an idea of what was going to happen as soon as you both reached your place. “Hmm, I don’t know. I’m actually kinda tired. Maybe tomorrow.”

“Oh—uh—yeah, sure. That’s fine.” His nose sullen demeanor pulled at your heartstrings and you found yourself reaching over to humorously pinch his cheek.

“I’m fucking with you Mark. Of course you can come over. You can even stay the night if you’re too tired to drive home. I washed your clothes from the last few times.” He nodded in agreement and the small grin that was slowly growing on his face from the change in your tone caused you to mirror his expression. Just a couple of minutes later, he was pulling up to your apartment and ran over to your side to open the door for you. It was his actions that proved to you that he harbored romantic feelings for you and it always made you feel almost childlike.

You couldn’t explain the way Mark made you feel. But all you knew, was that nobody else has ever made you feel so important, so needed; wanted—loved and it scared you because you were sure nobody ever could. He helped you out of the passenger seat and grabbed at your hand; not giving you any time to process anything before pulling you towards the lobby.

Out of all the skin ship the two of you shared, holding hands with Mark had to be your favorite. He had such pretty fingers; they were so long and skinny and his hand practically swallowed your tiny ones whole. You always felt so safe with him and you could feel the confession of love for him at the tip of your tongue. When he saw you walking towards the elevators, he let out a snicker and you rolled your eyes; you knew exactly what he was laughing at from past experiences and you weren’t having it.

“What now Tuan?”

“Nothing—it’s nothing—you live on the second floor yet you always take the elevator. You are the definition of lazy—what the hell do you do in your free time? Bench press your television? Your biceps are getting bigger and your punches are harder—okay I’ll stop. I just thought it was cute but fine—be an asshole.”

The bickering stopped right as you reached your apartment and you made your way in with Mark trailing right behind you. He’s been over to your place a few times, so he knew where everything was and he even had a few of his things scattered throughout your apartment. A couple of his jackets were in your closet, he had a pair of shoes on the shoe rack and there was his shampoo and body wash in your shower. You knew he wouldn’t leave all his things over at your place if you were just someone he was messing around with.

“Thirsty?” He shook his head in disagreement before throwing himself on your couch and turning on the television. You on the other hand wanted to give yourself some time to prepare what you were going to tell him.

Mark, I love you. You mean a lot to me. I’m sorry for giving you such a hard time these last few months but thank you for not giving up on me—us these last few months. I’m ready now. I’m yours if you’ll have me.

You wanted to say it all, but you felt as if you were going to throw up just thinking about it. “Hurry up over there, I’m lonely.” You took in a deep breath before making your way back in to the living room.

It was now or never y/n, whatever happens, happens.

If he didn’t end up feeling the same way, then you could just kick him out and pretend as if none of this happened but deep down you knew there was no way you could ever forget this; forget him. There was no way. Mark was tattooed on your heart and etched in to parts of your soul that you were so scared of what would happen to you if he were to end your relationship. You took a seat at the end of the couch, giving yourself some space away from him but he wasn’t having it. He got up from his spot on the couch to reach out for you and pulled you on top of his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist as he placed his chin on top of your shoulder.

No matter how many times you’d find yourself in this position with him, you could never stop the blush that always seemed to grow on your cheeks at the close proximity.

“Mark.” He hummed in curiosity against your neck and waited for your response before saying anything. “Can I ask you something?” The nod against your cheek made you giggle; his stubble tickled as it rubbed against your recently shaved skin.

“What are we? Better yet, what am I to you. Like—what do I mean to you?” Feeling him pull away as soon as those words fell from your lips worried you. You knew it was too good to be true. There was no way Mark could ever look at you in the way that he wanted to. Tears were brimming at your eyelids and you were so upset with yourself from ruining things. Right as you were about to try and take back what you had just asked, you were being thrown on to the couch as he roughly brought his lips to yours. He brought his hands up to your face and cupped both of your cheeks; his mouth felt hot on yours as he molded your lips together perfectly.

His kisses never failed to send your body to flames and it felt as if electricity was running through your veins. Mark deepens the kiss; his lips were chapped but tasted like fried chicken and beer; a combination you were used to seeing how that was his favorite food and alcoholic beverage pairing. He licked and sucked on both your top and bottom lips before he brought your tongue in between his teeth. To your dismay, he pulled away to catch his breath and placed his forehead against yours while plopping himself on top of you.

“Mark, get off of me! You’re so heavy you ass—“

“You’ve never complained about being a bottom before—will you stop hitting me? Why aren’t you this physical in bed? Anyways, before you ruin the mood with your brash commentary, if it wasn’t already obvious, I have feelings for you and to sum it all up, I love you. I know why you’re afraid of love and I’m sorry you had to go through all of that, but you can trust me. I hope you know that and I hope you do or at least plan on learning how to. My feelings for you are sincere. I don’t know exactly when my little crush on you turned in to this beautiful thing called love, but I love the effect it has on me. I love the effect you have on me. You mean so much to me y/n and if you give me the chance, I’d love to be yours. I’ll take good care of you. I promise.”

He brought his pinky out to yours and you looked up at him to make sure his expressions matched his words. You stole a kiss from the corner of his mouth and twisted your pinkies together.

“Okay. Let’s do this.” You tried to push him off of you but he gave you a knowing look and made it even harder for you to try and escape.

“Mark—“

“You didn’t tell me how you feel yet. You’re not going anywhere baby. I know you love me too, you just have to say it.” Hearing the term of endearment was going to take some getting used to, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t like how it sounded coming from his pretty lips.

“Wow, cocky aren’t we? Bold of you to assume that I love you. Where’d you get that idea?”

“I don’t know if you are aware of this, but when you doze off sometimes you murmur things. Maybe it’s your conscience but I swear I heard you confessing what I’m assuming is your feelings for me, how thankful you are for me and how you’d love to be mine—“ you covered his mouth to prevent anything else from coming out and hid your face in the crook of his neck to prevent him from seeing how crazy he was driving you.

“Whatever! I love you! There? You happy? Oh, and I just—before I say anything this is going to be the only time I’m ever going to say sappy shit so listen closely. Thank you for not giving up on us. Thank you for being so patient with me and not running away no matter how much of a dick I was. You mean the world to me Mark and I really don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I hope that getting to love you every day is enough to pay you back for everything you’ve done for me in the last few months. You’re amazing, and I love you.” He grinned down at you and you could feel butterflies growing in your tummy the longer he looked at you with so much love and adoration.

“I’m never going to get tired of hearing you say that. Now kiss me.”

You had a hold on me right from the start A grip so tight I couldn't tear it apart My nerves all jumpin', actin' like a fool Well, your kisses they burn, but my heart stays cool

Well, Romeo and Juliet Samson and Delilah Baby you can bet A love they couldn't deny My words say split But my words they lie 'Cause when we kiss, ooh Fire

Ooh fire Hot kisses like fire Burn me up with fire I like what you're doin' now, Fire Touchin' me with fire Touchin' me, burnin me with fire Take me home Fire Kisses like fire

#got7 imagines #got7 #mark tuan imagines #male x male reader #mark tuan fluff #mark tuan

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best-enemies · 4 years ago

Note

For the fandom ask meme thing can I request the whole damn alphabet or is that not very cash money of me? I’m nosy lmao I wanna know all of them!

AHDKAJSDKJAHSKDA JACK YOU’RE THE BEST

A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)

I’ve had my current OTP for like almost 8 years and it’s, obviously, Thoschei (Doctor/Master). My other current obsession is the Gallifrey OT4 hehehe

B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind

It’s funny because I didn’t ship Hannigram at first... I’d thought the idea of a cannibal having a relationship was terrifying because what if they had sex and Hannibal got hungry in the middle of the act? Lmaoooo

But yeah they’re my endgame now. I watched the show when it first aired and I was about 14/15 years old so now you see why I thought that. Although I’m still afraid I’m gonna be reading a fic and Hannibal will suddendly bite Will’s dick off or smth AKJHSAKJSAHSASKAJ

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will (be nice)

Uhhh Doctor/Clara. Mainly because I don’t like to ship the Doctor with companions (there may be one or two exceptions but I don’t ship them enough to actually say I ship them lol) and I don’t know I just never vibed with it

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t (again: be nice)

Doctor/River. I mean, I did like it for a while years ago but now it’s just... eh. I think she has a waaay better chemistry with the 12th Doctor, but still don’t ship it. I might give it a try once I listen to the River audios but so far meh. I’m not much of a multishipper anyway.

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what

God. I’ve written a couple of Academy Era (focused on the Deca) crack fanfics and I still have to translate them to English. They’re pure garbage but I love them. I have a lot of fun writing crack fics because they’re easier and I can ignore whatever piece of canon I want just for the laughs

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom

Guess it’s Doctor Who, been here (in and out of the fandom) for over 8/9 years

G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it

Uhhhh I think it was Han Solo and Leia, since I was a kid really. I wanted to marry both of them lol

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., tv shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)

I had to google what a source text is and still don’t know

I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why

I don’t think so, but Twitter definitively has. I remember a couple years ago I was curious to see what voltron was about and watched a few episodes, it was ok, fun and cute but the fandom was so annoying I stopped watching it for good and don’t care about it enough to pick it up again

J - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr

I had definitively forgotten about supernatural until I saw it all over my dashboard in the year of our lord 2020 lmao like in my wholock days I tried to watch the show because everyone on my dash (is it still called dashboard?) was talking about it and I watched about 8 episodes before dropping it. But seeing it again on the dash was actually a happy surprise because the memes are too funny hahaha

K -Say something nice about someone in any of your fandoms

I’m extremely shy irl and on the internet as well but I wanna say that @janeturenne is one of the best authors ever and her fanfics are a blessing in my life; also @thebraxiatelcollection who brings awesome content to my dash and is also one of the best authors. And of course, you, Jack, also one of the best authors god I’m so BLESSED

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves (chars you’re neutral on are fair game, as are chars you dislike)

Uhhh I guess I’m neutral about the current companions. They’re not my favorites but I don’t really dislike them - they had a lot of potential and chibs came up with some good storylines but did not develop them well in my opinion. I think Graham is a fun grandpa whom I’m going to miss when he leaves; Ryan is cool and could’ve done a lot more if the writers had kept a few things, it’d be awesome if he vlogged all of their adventures. He’s like the one I was curious to see more but sadly didn’t feel a connection; and Yaz, I hope she’ll keep growing and that her friendship with the Doctor will finally be developed to a level we can connect to her.

It sounds weird because with the fam it’s always ‘what I wish could have been’ because I never felt really connected to them :(

M - Say something genuinely nice about a ship that you don’t ship (or its shippers, or anything related to you)

Ok... I don’t really ship Rey/Finn but I think it’s one of the sweetest ships ever, and if they ended up together I’d be happy. They love each other and are there for each other always so, yeah :D

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)

I don’t know if I got the question right but it’s three things I wish I saw more in my main fandom? Well, if it’s that, then, 3 things about the Doctor Who fandom: 1) people having more civilized or light-hearted discussions about things. Like, I genuinely disliked an 8th doctor audio I listened once that my friends loved, and they made fun of me and we joked about it. Also once we were in a live twitch video playing among us and discussing doctor who, and then we got into a ship “discourse” as a joke and nobody really cared and just laughed because everyone knew it’s fictional shit so why get mad over it? 2) Doctor Who has a titanic amount of content, it’s all canon but at the same time it’s not, so who cares? If you want to listen to Big Finish audios and if you can afford it, then lisiten; if you can’t, it’s okay, no one has the right to tell you you’re less of a fan. Just tell them to fuck off; 3) The best way to keep fandom alive is by creating content. Here in my local fandom we have several podcasts dedicated to all areas of the whoniverse (the show, the expanded universe, the audios, etc), those old fandom websites who do serious work to bring news to the fans, people who make subtitles for the classic series (we don’t have it available here so they do their best to make it accessible to other fans), accounts dedicated to promoting dr who fans who create content, and we even have people making their own audiodramas with dw characters and writing book-lenght fanfiction to help explain the show to people who’ve never watched it, and a great variety of things. I’ve seen a few of these things in the international fandom, mostly by older fans, so I wish younger fans about my age who have the means to make this kind of stuff would make it too. Maybe there’d be less twitter drama out there lol

O - Choose a song at random, which ship or character does it remind you of

“the killing moon” by echo & the bunnymen reminds me of thoschei. yep it was totally random

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)

The fact that we don’t have a pride and prejudice AU for brax/romana yet is driving me insane

Q - A ship you’ve abandoned and why

I’ve mentioned it before but doctor/river, don’t really remember why idk I just don’t vibe with it anymore. But also because thoschei has so many different pairings in 1 ship that I don’t really feel the need to ship them with anyone else lol

R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships

GOD I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT’S SO SPECIFIC ok fellow academy era stans gather around if you have read Divided Loyalties there’s a scene where it SHOWS that Magnus had a crush on Ushas. And NO ONE HAS EVER TALKED ABOUT THEM and the power couple they would’ve made. I write them into all my fanfics in hopes of making other people ship them but I’ve had no success so far

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

The Master is a big fan of musicals and in the 77 years he spent on earth he watched every single one ever. I’m gonna be bold and say that when he was young, still Koschei, he was an artist, and thought about dropping everything to become an actor on Gallifrey. Time Lords do appreciate art, and have their own plays, but it’s just the same old and boring ones the young people don’t care about. The Master then created a shocking performance that was way ahead of its time and the older Time Lords were so appalled they banned him from writing and presenting plays and that’s his villain origin story

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything)

1) The Doctor and the Master married on Gallifrey and the entire show is just them having the most litigious divorce in the universe (still isn’t final because the Master has killed all the judges); 2) Ushas/The Rani is ace; 3) The Deca was a 10 people polyamorous relationship; 4) Romana and Livia were girlfriends at the Academy and they hate each other now because the break up was baad; 5) Romana writes fanfiction; 6) Romana/Leela had a thing in Davidia I KNOW it; 7) Leela pegs Narvin; 8) Brax has a life-size painting of Romana at his collection or a statue or smth; 9) Brax’s dream in Reborn is actually REAL and he’s married to Romana, Leela and Narvin all at the same time

U - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms

I don’t even think I’m in 5 fandoms but

Doctor Who: The Master, The Doctor, Romana, Leela, Sarah Jane, Bill (this was the hardest thing ever)

The X-Files: Mulder, Scully, Monica, and can I add The Lone Gunmen too?

Star Wars: Leia, Obi-Wan, Finn, Poe Dameron and honorable mention to Din Djarin and Grogu

Hannibal: Hannibal, Will, Bev, Alana, Chiyoh

V - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms

That’s hard

Doctor Who: thoschei ofc, gallifrey ot4.......... uuhh as you can see i don’t ship many pairings in the show

The X-Files: Mulder and Scully. And whatever Scully and Monica had going on because they definitively flirted

Star Wars: Poe/Finn, Han/Leia, whatever Han/Lando had going on too

W - 5 favorite ships and 5 kinks you like best for said ships

WHATVASHAJSKAJSA ok this is a little embarassing but I don’t have a lot of kinks for many ships... I guess I have some for thoschei like, choking, whipping, blindfolds/gagging, bondage, begging, biting, sem-public, phone sex, dirty talk, body worship, praise kink, etc. Alright alright I know it’s a lot but in my defense they've shown half of these on the show

X - top 5-10 characters who are yoUR PRECIOUS BABIES AND YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING THEM

The Master, Romana, Leela, Brax, Narvin, Bill Potts, Martha Jones, Sarah Jane, Donna Noble, Lucie Miller. No particular order for most of them but the Master is my precious baby and I will die for this mf

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)

Not many, usually the people I follow are in the same fandoms as I am but I’ve seen some mutuals reblog some Hadestown stuff which is a play that I’ve never seen but definitively would because the protagonists look hot

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go (prompts optional but encouraged)

I DON’T KNOW WHAT DOES IT MEAN

it took me three hours to do this but it was fun!! thank you bb <3

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undonesarc · 5 years ago

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▌real name: griffith angelo d’aquino. ▌single or taken: single but.. we’re working on it. ▌abilities or powers: gun handling, knife combat, self defense (trained in standard boxing, wrestling, and has undergone courses that are essentially ripped straight from marine corps martial arts training programs), basic survival skills (desert-based, primarily, as that’s where the majority of his merc work took place), ▌eye color: a brown so dark it’s nearly black. ▌hair color: black. ▌family members: parents are sebastian d’aquino sr. and sheila d’aquino (nee walsh); six siblings, hugo (58), giorgia and emily (twins, 53), mia (49), lucas (47), and sebastian (44); one maternal uncle, max, and two fraternal, arthur and daniel (both deceased). ▌pets: n/a. has considered getting a dog, but doesn’t feel like he’d be able to actually be there for it as much as he should be, but if he ever considers retirement/a more permanent living situation then he’d probably get one. ▌something they don’t like: when people try to be all buddy-buddy with him, especially on jobs, especially if he barely knows them. he doesn’t like that sense of fake camaraderie, it makes him deeply uncomfortable. ▌hobbies/activities: crime, obviously, primarily bank robbery but he doesn’t mind getting involved in other things; more mundane hobbies include hiking, rock climbing, camping, boxing, playing video games, reading; at the home he keeps in new york, he has a library, and there’s an extensive collection of books there. ▌ever hurt anyone before: yes. frequently. as griff is fond of saying, you can’t be in crime without being a little criminal; he’s dealt out plenty of pain in his years, both professionally and on the side. his brief stint in the world of underground boxing was bloody. he’s picked more than a handful of fights in bars -- and not just yelling and some halfhearted punches. he’s thrown chairs, broken tables by slamming people into them, broken fingers and skulls and noses. he doesn’t flinch from violence, though that isn’t to say he revels in it, either; he’s not exactly apathetic, just doesn’t know how to deal with his emotions in any other way (but he doesn’t ever hurt the people cares about, i.e. his family/etc. he either deals with it by fighting or getting out the anger through work, or by going to a gym and taking it out on a punching bag/working it out through exercise). ▌ever killed anyone before: yes. 11 years of his life has been spent as a mercenary, seven with private military then four as a freelance killer in europe; his confirmed body count in europe was 13. outside of work, griff has only killed 3 people: his first was at the age of 16, when the eldest son of a “rival” family decided to send griff’s father a message by beating on griff (sebastian had refused to work with their family, and this was the retaliation for insulting them). griff fought back, unintentionally breaking his neck, then finishing the job by stabbing him in the throat. the other two kills were purely victims of circumstance; one was a man griff fought in the underground boxing he participated in (he didn’t die in the ring, but a few days later from injuries sustained); the second, a civilian who tried to be a hero during a robbery and earned a shotgun blast to the head for his trouble. ▌animal that represents them: a snake. ▌worst habits: the inability to own up to his feelings is the biggest one. this definitely extends beyond his sexuality; he’s not very good at showing his family (or the very rare friend that he has) that he cares for them. he’s not good at voicing his emotions, choosing instead to isolate (he camps by himself a lot) or something stupid like fighting (as mentioned above). he’s just very childish when it comes to emotions, and it’s goddamn annoying, and definitely makes it difficult to be friends with him. ▌role models: during their time together as mercs, jason became a sot-of role model for griff, with the impression he left continuing to influence griff into adulthood. his brother seb is also someone griff has constantly looked up to; because he’s only two years older, he’s the sibling griff was closest to. he helped griff deal with the body after his first murder; he’s the one who encouraged him to pursue theatre, then to leave home/the family when he saw how unhappy and uncomfortable griff was with them (seb has always known griff is gay, and hoped that by encouraging him to leave, he’d be helping him get to a place where he could learn to come to terms with who he is). griff has always admired the ferocity with which seb loves, and envies how easy-going he is. he’s tried to imitate it, but has never been able to perfect it. ▌sexual orientation: gay. ▌thoughts on marriage/kids: he doesn’t want kids, and doesn’t care for marriage in a traditional sense; he doesn’t believe in the ceremony and the paperwork. that’s not to say he wouldn’t flat-out deny a guy if it came to it, but he definitely wouldn’t want anything big. he thinks the commitment of saying i love you and then proving it by coming home every day is enough. ▌fears: being outed, and as an extension, coming to terms with being out; the reaction from his family; the act of actually being with a man again, though i think it’s less about actually being gay these days (because.. he understands it’s okay/natural, he’s really gotten over that fear and left it in his youth) and more of a fear of learning to love again, afraid he would lose it/ruin it like he did in the past. ▌style preferences: basic.. but like.. still kinda stylish? yeah he wears that ugly shirt with a cross on it in the movie, but that’s just how he dresses on jobs, primarily to throw people off and not let them get too familiar with who he really is. when he’s camping, of course he favors hiking boots and henleys. his style is dictated by what personality he’s presenting; in atlanta, he’s a hardened criminal, and dresses kinda corny to fit the part. in new york, he’s just another face in a crowd, but he wants to look good and feels more comfortable presenting closer to the look he likes in such a big city; he likes expensive dress shirts (and leans towards pastel colors) or designer shirts (he likes floral patterns like this) when he’s in new york, though sometimes he favors a more punk look (leather jacket, etc) when wearing more stylish and designer clothing makes him feel too exposed. he feels like there’s certain things expected from a guy who lives a life like him, who looks like he does, and sometimes he ends up falling prey to those stereotypes, because he’s too scared to let himself be who he really is. ▌someone they love: honestly.. to be honest....... he still has a little bit of love for jason and that’s never going to change. he also loves his brother seb a lot, and of course his other siblings as well -- they were all incredibly close growing up, and while he’s chosen to isolate, it isn’t because he hates them. he loves his family, he just needs to find his way back to them. ▌approach to friendships: he keeps anyone at arm’s length, though he does have some tentative friendships, all built on a mutual interest in crime, though the word friend is rarely ever used. griff tends to avoid “normal” people, not wanting to get them entangled in the life he lives; he doesn’t really have any genuine friends, people he goes out to coffee with or to the movies with or whatever, or people to talk to, actually, but god he needs it. ▌thoughts on pie: he’d kill you for pumpkin pie probably, ▌favorite drink: alcohol-wise, he loves strawberry cream tequila, and whiskey. liquor aside, he just drinks water and orange juice. ▌favorite place to spend time at: he loves the wilderness honestly! he goes camping every other weekend. he goes to the gym daily and really finds comfort in that routine. he doesn’t really like being at his atlanta apartment much, which is why he doesn’t spend too much money on it, or time in it. ▌swim in the lake or in the ocean: lakes; he developed a slight fear of the open water after working on fishing boats off of the west coast. ▌their type: we’ll have to revisit this........ i need more interactions w/ him before i say either way what he likes

tagged by: @armsdealing tagging: @armsdealing do this for buddy if you haven’t already, @exorsista, @exhauest

#long post #ask to tag #GRIFF.#GRIFF: META.

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ilovehatembj · 6 years ago

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Man Up Part 2

@eriksbabymama @sweettea-and-honeybutter @Ljstraightnochaser @amethyst1993 @laketaj24 @daytimeheroicsonly @uhlxis @drsunshine97 @supernovaah @muse-of-mbaku @zuzuspanda @chefjessypooh @purple-apricots @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @cockyboysandsugarism @destinio1 @siriuslycollins @dreadedphilosphy @texasbama @blackmisfitsunite @cool-pen-name @madamslayy @slimmiyagi @blackchickfics @omg-blackqueen @blue-ishx @maliadestiny @yourstrulyylauren

I didn’t think that many people would read my stuff let alone like it! Thanks for sharing and the positive comments, I hope you guys like this one and all the other parts that are gonna come!

Pairing: Reader x MBJ, Reader x OBJ

Warnings: Very light smut and cursing

“What the fuck did you just say to me Michael?!”

“I said was your business escorting that nigga. I was kindly asking if your business was prostitution if you didn’t catch my drift.” As soon as that nigga finished that sentence a headline popped into your head “Well Known Actor Michael B. Jordan Dead at Age 31”. But then you remembered that Odell still hadn’t been in your throat and that you prefer your wine from anywhere but a toilet, so you just pushed the thought to the back of your mind.

“Yeah I caught your drift alright. Who the fuck are you to ask me about my business any fucking way nigga?”

“Y/N, I am your man. That’s who I am to ask about your business.” he yelled with agitation in his voice, “You know what I’m not arguing with you over the phone. I’ll pick you up from the airport when you land, bye”. He hung up before you could even refuse. You decided not to even dwell on the conversation. Michael wasn’t on your mind and he didn’t deserve to be. Your mind was on someone much more deserving of all the dirty thoughts that lingered from moments prior. Or maybe it was months? It didn’t matter though cause after you got settled into bed for the night you were tired…..but your mind and body were still craving Odell’s touch, but you had to settle for your own.

As usual you were a sight to see and knowing that only turned you on more. Hair up in a bun and nude underneath of your white silky robe, you started at the valley of your breasts, then your hands moved to massage and play with both of your breasts. With closed eyes you envisioned it was Odell pinching and licking your nipples. Your hands started making their way down to your melted pussy. You slowly rubbed on your clit, then—your phone started going bezerk. You had gotten 15 messages in 1 minute and your phone was still going off because of an incoming Facetime call, all from the same person—it was Michael’s older sister Jamila a.k.a thorn in your fucking side for the past 3 years.

“Hi, Jamila”

“Bitch, don’t try to be cordial with me! You out here fucking around on my brother? With a injured ass sorry ass NFL player! I been told that boy you were nothing but an Instagram thot!”

“First of all you C-list Hollywood extra, I got your Instagram thot. You haven’t been relevant since you were an extra in I am Legend, leech ass hoe. Since you worried about things other than your sad ass marriage worry about your cheating ass brother and the actual Instagram thots he’s fucking, and the subpar ass strippers you and your husband been bringing into y’all bedroom. If you gon pay for pussy make sure the face that go to it pretty, bitch.” You hung up, you clearly had some shit to get off your chest after dealing with 3 years of her ass trying you and added the extra tea courtesy of Chyna.

You decided you were too exhausted to try to satisfy yourself tonight. The Jordans have officially pissed you off and a bitch had a flight to catch tomorrow.

You woke up late at 9 A.M. like you didn’t have a 12 P.M. flight to catch. You checked your phone and saw something unusual, a snapchat from that nigga. You opened it and your heart dropped to your stomach. You had every intention on ending everything with this nigga today, and you still were without a question, but you never thought he would take his disrespecting of you to this level. It was a video of him tongue deep with a very familiar Instagram hoe, Ashlyn. This bitch was always around everywhere. And the last time you had seen her in person it was NYE in LA and she was kissing that nigga when the clock struck midnight. When you confronted him about it then he said it was nothing, but your gut told you otherwise. You realized that you couldn’t handle this nigga how you your emotions were telling you to. You had to hit this nigga where he’d feel you most and it wasn’t gonna be through just destroying his cars.

You just wanted your time in NY to be over with so you just threw on some black leggings and a sweatshirt and headed down to your Uber and then to the airport. On the way there you got a call from Odell.

“Good morning lady”

“Good morning”

“You doing okay?” That was a weird question because last night for the most part went well, unless this nigga sent him the videos of him and that hoe as well.

“I’m fine. That’s an odd question for the morning after a date not gone bad.”

“I was just asking because I know he called you last night and cause of the comments under The Shade Room’s pictures of us—” you stopped him right there.

“What comments?”

“Damn. I figured you already seen them. I’m sorry. Just, just forget I said anything. You leave for the airport yet? If not I can take you, any reason to see your beautiful smile.”

“Okay, well I’m already in my Uber on the way to the airport now, but thank you anyway. Can I call you back when I land? We pulling up to the airport now.”

“Yeah, that’s fine but don’t forget.”

“I won’t!”

“Aight, have a good flight”

Ignoring Odell you decided to creep to see what on TSR’s ig sent that nigga into a life-threatening frenzy and check to see what comments Odell was talking about. After finally scrolling through their feed for a good while you see the three pictures that made that nigga see that he was the very definition of replaceable. The first one was simple, just a shot of the two looking at each other at your dinner table, the second one was just as simple. The third one though, THAT one is the one. The third picture could’ve been on the front y’all wedding invites (We speak positivity into existence over this way honey). Y’all were walking out of the restaurant and smiling looking into each other’s eyes, Odell’s hand was guiding you by your lower back out of Morimoto, and you looked at pure peace. The caption was generic as hell, “Y/N, what’s the tea sis?”, but a comment thread caught your attention. It was this bitch Saweetie. You read her comment that said, “Damn. Why ain’t Mike call me last night?”. You saw RED. You asked for your driver to pull over to the nearest FedEx Kinkos cause you wanted this nigga to see that it wasn’t just cheating, it was the balls these type of bitches grew. You printed out the screenshots of her comment and asked the driver to speed so you could still catch your flight on time. You left him a fat ass tip for doing you those major favors.

You’re flight was smooth and you landed back in LA around noon your time. That nigga was waiting for you and he looked like his body was repaying his ass for that stunt and whatever other bullshit he did last night, he looked badly hungover. He didn’t speak to you, you didn’t speak to him, you just followed him to the car. Once y’all got in the car you snatched the aux away from that nigga so quickly and played your new favorite song. As soon as this nigga heard “Oochie wally bang bang” that nigga’s face dropped and he nervously started a conversation with you.

“So um, about last night, what were those um pictures?”

“Can this wait till we get to my house? I really like this song”

“Where’d you even hear this song”

“Can we discuss that later too? It’s getting to my favorite part”, he looked away and you sung along, “I’m in music, you in acting,so we keep that low profile, private and low key you know that is my type of style”. This nigga kept switching his focus between you and the road and just stared in pure confusion. When y’all finally pulled in the garage of your condo he beat you to the trunk of his car and grabbed all your luggage and even held the door to your building for you. What had suddenly gotten into this nigga? Was the Michael Bakari Jordan fearful?

Once y’all walked through your door he walked to bedroom, dropped your bags, came back out and asked, “So, now can we talk about those pictures?”

“Yeah, but first we need to talk about a few other things. First let’s play a guessing game. Let’s guess who this hip-hop pass around was talking about in this song.” You played “23” again staring at him as he stared at the floor. The song finished.

“Easy, Drake.”

“Really? Drizzy?” you asked with a scrunched face holding your hands trying to not catch a DV charge.

“Yeah, matter of fact I saw her at one of his house parties in November.” Nigga really thought he was clever.

“Damn, well this bitch clearly didn’t know how to spell Drake under TSR’s comments today”. You pulled the screenshots of her comment out and put it in his face. “SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU NIGGA!” You screamed. “I KNOW FOR DAMN SURE SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU BECAUSE WHEN YOU HAD JUST GOTTEN YOUR i8 I HADN’T EVEN WORE MY BLONDE WIG IN IT AND I FOUND A MOTHERFUCKIN’ BLONDE HAIR! AND THE LINE ABOUT Y’ALL FUCKIN’ IN A CAR PROVED IT EVEN MORE CAUSE YOU BEEN SLANGIN’ YOUR MEDIOCRE ASS DICK AROUND HOLLYWOOD AND PHILLY. MEDIOCRE DICK THAT FURTHER DECLINED IN QUALITY WHEN YOU CAME HOME TO ME. YOU CAN KEEP YOUR LIMP NOT UP TO MUCH DICK AND THE BASIC BITCHES THAT COME WITH IT. DON’T SAY SHIT TO ME. DON’T ASK ME ABOUT NO FUCKIN’ PICTURES, DON’T ASKED IF I FUCKED HIM BECAUSE NO I DIDN’T BECAUSE YOU DECIDED TO RUIN MY FUCKIN’ NIGHT BY CALLING ME. YOU FUCKIN’ COCKBLOCK.”

“Y/N, you know-”

“NIGGA GET OUT AND TELL YOUR FUGLY ASS SISTER NOT TO CALL ME BACK ON BS UNLESS SHE REALLY WITH THE SHITS”

“Baby them bitches meant NOTHING! I promise!”

“Odell—” Ooop. Bitch its EVIDENT who you were thinking about. A part of you said Odell’s name on purpose because you wanted that nigga to know how done you were with him. Once you said that, that nigga was fuming.

“BITCH WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?”

“BITCH I CALLED YOU THE NIGGAS NAME THAT I’M THINKING ABOUT. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE MAD ABOUT SHIT! ESPECIALLY AFTER THAT SNAPCHAT STUNT YOU PULLED WITH THAT HOE ASHLYN.”

“OKAY YEAH, Y/N I FUCKED HER LAST NIGHT BUT SHE SENT YOU THAT VIDEO WHEN SHE GOT AHOLD OF MY PHONE. BUT I’LL LEAVE! I DON’T CARE DAWG! YOU NEED ME! I DON’T NEED YO ASS! MAYBE IF YOU WASN’T SO BORING I WOULDN’T BE FUCKING THESE OTHER BITCHES” Did this nigga just magically forget all the connections that you’ve made FOR HIM?! Fuck the part about being “boring” you knew you were FAR from that. This nigga was set to be in a Ciroc commercial because you knew Diddy well because he went way back with your dad. This same nigga was able to be on Snoop Dogg’s VH1 show because Snoop considered you to be an actual niece. You were the only reason this nigga was able to say he knew so many Black celebrities. But all that was about to change as soon as that nigga left. You calmed down, walked him to the door and said, “If you say so”. “I’m done witcho ass. I paid for some pornstar titties and it’s time to go play with em.” You closed the door calmly. With everything that came out of that nigga’s mouth you finally realized what was wrong with him, he didn’t appreciate or value your presence, he was only still with you because he didn’t wanna know what your absence felt like.

You had calls to make. First it was Uncle Snoop and Diddy. All you had to say was he called you outta your name. He lost one endorsement. Then you called Dr. Dre, he still had some ownership of Beats, so he had a say in who was the face of it. That nigga lost an endorsement he was supposed to shoot for in a week. Then you called all of LA’s finest, from Nipsey Hussle to YG to the LAPD this nigga was a walking target. Your dad was well respected in LA so naturally the Bloods, Crips, and 5-0 would unite under your thumb. Then you called Pusha-T, this nigga could get all of hip-hop to hate one nigga at the drop of a dime. You have officially cost this nigga at least $15 million and potentially his life. You couldn’t careless, honestly.

You still had one more person to call and your night would exponentially better. Odell.

“Hello?”

“Hey, did your flight get delayed?

“No.”

“When you get home?”

“A few hours ago. I’m calling late be—”

“Its cool, I understand, you don’t have to let me down easy.”

“Odell, exactly what am I letting you down from?”

“Us, or a chance at us rather”

“See, you gotta let me finish my sentences. I was going to say I was late calling because I broke up with him.”

“Word?! Like forreal?”

“Forreal! Mister I think can read people’s brains”

“HAHA. You had me nervous girl. Damn. You gotta be quicker witcho points though. That whole miscommunication was on you.”

“You may have a point”

“Since I have a point how bout an invite to LA”

“Hmmmm. Consider this your invite.”

“I can be there Saturday”

“I’ll pick you up from the airport”

“Should I um, get a room at a hotel?”

“See I think there’s some sort of convention going on and I’m 1000% sure that every hotel in LA is booked. You don’t have to call and check either. Just take my word for it.”

“I think I know what convention you’re talking about.” The two of you laughed at your mutual understanding of what non-existent convention was going on. After you all sorted all the details he let you vent to him. You told him what you were feeling and why you were feeling it. You felt so at ease.

*Fast Forward to Friday Night*

You cleared out your schedule for the weekend and you were excited! You went to bed with butterflies in your stomach because you couldn’t wait until tomorrow morning!

#fanfic #michael b jordan imagine #erik killmonger imagine #odell beckham jr #black panther #nfl #man up

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serrj215 · 7 years ago

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Two inches taller

"The things I do for friendship" Raven said to herself. There was just only so many times she could say no to Starfire. Her exuberant alien friend was like an elemental force, overpowering and persistent. So now she was in the never-ending purgatory of the 'Mall of shopping'.

Seriously how many stores does it take to sell overpriced clothes and useless junk? It seemed that Starfire was on a mission to find out. Four department stores, half a dozen boutiques, and for some reason a kitchenware store where she had to try everything. The worst part was that she wanted Raven's opinion about every top, pant, and vegetable peeler. The lingerie shop was going to require hours of meditation to deal with those mental images.

Raven was starting to get a pounding headache. It didn’t help that the one bookstore in the mall was recently replaced by a shop selling perfume, cause the mall apparently needed a 5th. Still Starfire was happy. Raven reminded herself that It wasn't just about buying pretty things. Starfire held a genuine curiosity about earth, about people. It was one of the things the two women had in common. While Raven preferred to explore a cultures literature Starfire preferred to explore what they created, and how it was used…

"Shoes!"

And what they wore.

Starfire's exclamation upped the tempo of the base drum in Raven's head. The Young alien found a massive shoe store and was quickly flying between isles looking at footwear each pair more convoluted then the next. She was ecstatic, Raven needed a break. While her friend was distracted by the myriad of choices she slipped away looking for a quiet corner. She just needed a few minutes to re-enforce her mental barriers and little quiet and privacy before this quest could continue.

Raven ducked down a vacant isle thinking she could claim on the benches and chant for a few minutes. She found herself surrounded by black leather. At first, she thought she wondered into the men's section, these were not the dainty, strappy insanely made foot torture devices Starfire was cooing over. Some looked like work, or military combat boots. Others had soles almost 4 inches thick, some were so tall they would go all the up to the thigh.

The cloaked woman turned to head back down the aisle when a pair of boots caught her eye. They were more practical then some of the others. Rich black leather with chrome eyelets for the laces. The treads on them looked like it belonged on a construction tire. She gingerly extended her hand not understanding her new fascination, it was just a pair of boots. But there was something about them, a mix of beauty and utility.

She picked up one and nearly dropped it, they were heavier then they looked and once she was examining it in her hand discovered that they had steel toes. She stood there running her fingers over the leather, and cord style laces. The next thing she knew she was sitting on the bench and the boots were on her feet.

"Starfire must be rubbing off on me" She said to the air. This was silly she didn’t need shoes. She didn’t need really anything. This was a useless indulgence. She was going to take them off and go find her friend before she bought something crazy, like the time she bought the leaf blower thinking it was a kitchen tool. She was not going to buy these boots.

She reached down to undo the laces yet something pulled at her. There would be no harm in looking would there? I mean if she could just see how out-of-place these things looked on her it would just prove her right. Raven looked up and saw a full-length mirror at the end of the isle. She stood up and was slightly off balance. The soles were not extreme but were thick enough to move her center of gravity.

"So, this is what 5"4 feels like, okay" she said to herself as the carefully tried a few steps. At first, she felt like there were weights around her feet, but by the time she got to the mirror she had adjusted. The heft made her strides bolder. When she faced herself in the mirror she even looked different. The boots came up to mid-calf, and despite covering much of her legs they somehow looked longer. For some reason, she was taking a wider stance then usual and it squared and pushed back her shoulders. The woman in the glass looked older more confident than the Raven she knew.

"They look good on you."

Raven knew that voice, and had to fight down the urge to scream.

"I take that back. They look great on you"

She pulled her cloak closed to conceal herself and the boots and turned around. Beast Boy in all his annoying greenness stood there his hands behind his back pure amusement on his face.

"Rae your taller” he quipped. It was true Beast Boy was slightly shorter than her, but with the thick tread of the boots she could see clearly over the top of his head.

"What are you doing here?" Her monotone voice leaking rage.

Beast Boy held up a small plastic bag with a colorful logo of a game controller. "Monkey night II return of the Chimp came out today” he said with a smile.

"You didn’t buy a video game in a shoe store!"

"I saw you and Star wonder in. Thought I would say hi!"

"Yes, cause it's not like we live together and going to see each other in a few hours" She turned away bending her knees slightly to make sure that her cloak completely obscured the boots.

"To be honest I am not crazy about leather, but if the cow saw how you look in those I think it would make the sacrifice willingly." That goofy grin of his

"Beast Boy I always knew one day I would have to kill you, didn’t think it was going to be in a shoe store!"

"Then can the condemned have a last request?" He asked and Before Raven could respond. "Can you open you cloak again? Cause you really do look great on those."

Rage and embarrassment quickly debated homicide or escape. Raven pushed back Beast boy and had the boots back on the shelf and her shoes in her hand. She has stormed away before Beast Boy knew what happened. She quickly caught up with Starfire whose attention was being captured by a small jewelry stand.

For the first time in her life she was grateful for Starfire's shopping habit. It was a welcome distraction from the encounter with Beast Boy in the shoe store. "They look great on you" in Beast Boy’s voice kept echoing in the back of her mind. The whole experience brought up an avalanche of emotions that was not use too.

Maybe it was because the whole shopping expedition had worn down her control, or the surprise of Beast Boy had catching her. "They look great on you" was not a phrase that she was accustomed too. At least not when it came to her.

When the two women got back to the tower Raven went straight to her room. She meditated for nearly two hours carefully rebuilding her control. When she felt like herself again her eyes opened and unfolded herself out of the lotus position. Her eyes fell on a rectangular box sitting on the bed. In her haste to put her mind in order she had not noticed it when she came into her room.

She walked over to the bed. On the box was a yellow post it, a short note that read 'I am sorry'. The size and the shape of the box hinted at its contents but Raven was still cautious opening it. There they were the boots she had tried on in the store.

Beast Boy laid his bed. The game he just bought sit still in its packaging still in the bag all but forgotten on the floor. He stared at the ceiling not sure what he did wrong and starting to wonder if what he did might have made things worse.

A knock came at the door. "Cy yes you can play the game” Beast Boy shouted grabbing the game bag and going to the door. It was Beast Boy's turn to be surprised when instead of his large metal friend he saw Raven's amethyst eyes.

"uh Hi Raven" He said quietly carefully saying her name in the what she preferred.

Raven stood there her hood up and in her smooth monotone asked, "Did you mean it?"

Beast Boy covered his mouth with both hands afraid of something smart ass leaping out of it. Then he slowly nodded his head.

"Then thank you for the gift” She said quietly and turned to walk down the hallway, but after a few steps turned back toward Beast Boy still looking after her. Raven casually lowered her hood and unclasped her cloak and pulled it from her shoulders. She folded it neatly over one of her arms and walked away from Beast Boy in nothing but her unitard and the boots he just purchased for her.

Beast Boy watched her stride away and with every step he could feel his heart thunder in his ears. The way she walked that slight sway in her hips, those long legs would stay with him. Suddenly video games didn’t seem quite so important.

I would like to thank @loubuggins and @there-is-one-mirror-in-my-house for there input. On this one. I was trying to reach a bit out of my comfort zone. I wanted to be in Raven’s head and her trying something that wasn’t really her. A woman buying shoes is very stereotypical but how would someone that is very atypical do a typical thing. How would she react if she was found out indulging herself?

#bbrae #bbrae fanfiction #serrj215 original

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thatssonanii · 7 years ago

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Golden Hearts 💛🖤 - Chapter One

AJ Styles/OC

Warning:None really. A bit of flirting and some less than happy moments mentioned. Its a bit of a slow start but it’ll pick up!

Tears rolled slowly down Tika’s cheeks as a sad smile rose to her lips while she stared at the phone on front of her. While she sat in the car line at the arena, she had gotten bored and decided to look through the gallery on her phone. The line had come to a stop with some sort of hold up she wasn’t sure about the nature, honestly didn’t care. The rain was pouring down around the car with the sun threatening to peak around the clouds mirrored the way she felt. She wanted to cry and smile all at the same time.

Tika’s four-year-old daughter, Serenity, came into view of the camera, a smile on her sun kissed brown skin. Her dimples looked like two wells on her chubby cheeks. She twirled one time in her floral print romper then leaned down to fix the straps of her gold sandals.

“Is that my baby?” Tika asked loudly. “Is that my babv slayin’ like that? With her baby hairs poppin’?”

Serenity giggled as she put her hands on her knees and cocked her little head to the side. “Who else but me, mama. I’m flawless.” She pretended to whip her hair, which was secure at the top of her head in a neat bun.

The video came to an end with Serenity doing her best Beyoncé moves. She was Serenity’s favorite singer so much so Tika made sure to take her daughter to any concert she could and bought her memorabilia as well.

Tika started to go through the pictures they had taken that day. She remembered that day clearly. They were headed off to a summer pool party one of Tika’s friends was having for the kids. If it was one thing Serenity had gotten from her mama, it was her love of photography. She took pictures of any and everything she could. Serenity’s little imagination had knew no bounds just as her mama’s.

The sound of someone laying on their horn snapped Tika’s attention from her phone to her rearview mirror to see the person honking at her. The smile on her face replaced with a scowl, even if she was holding up the line they didn’t need to honk at her like that. She put her car in drive still staring in the mirror wanting badly to flip them the bird. It was one thing she didn’t miss about while she was on leave from the company, some of the rude people she called co-workers. Her time was just as valuable as theirs.

After a year of being gone, things felt a little foreign to Tika. She couldn’t lie though and say it didn’t feel good to be back. Even though she didn’t want as much time as the company had given her off, she was thankful for it. She knew she wouldn’t have been able to make it back in the two months she had originally asked for versus the year they gave her. What’s more, she didn’t think she would still have a job. Yet here she is, backstage at Smackdown Live in Toledo, Ohio. The company, mainly Shane, fought with her to wait till the Smackdown after Blacklash to return instead of the actual pay per view. He didn’t want her to be overwhelmed. She was still a bit apprehensive about being so far from home but she knew she needed to be strong and have faith.

No one seemed to take notice in her being there, which she preferred. She moved in silence through the bright, buzzing backstage area. All Tika wanted to do was make it to her area so she could unpack her bag and start snapping pictures.

“You didn’t tell me you were here, Ti.”

The voice brought her smile back. Tika acted like she didn’t hear them, pretending to search her camera bag for lenses she didn’t need. “You hear me, girl. I know you do.” Suddenly there were arms around her waist, lifting her off the ground making her laugh louder than she should have.

“Let me go, Trin,” she laughed trying to wiggle from her grasp. “We’re in public. Put me down, you’re being extra.”

“Oh, I’m extra,” Trinity asked setting her down. “I’m extra because a certain someone didn’t tell their favorite oldest cousin they were back.”

Trinity gave Tika a fake smile to combat the smirk on younger woman’s face. In her rush to get everything packed and ready for her flight from Orlando, Florida to Toledo, Tika had forgotten to let her cousin know she was returning to work. Their relationship was much more like sisters and best friends. If someone didn’t know them, they would swear they were sisters. Trinity being the more eccentric sister with the bright hair and make-up where as Tika was the tamer one. She liked to keep things simple, natural for the most part and fun.

“First, you’re my only cousin. Second, I’m sorry. I was overwhelmed trying to get everything together for the trip.”

Trinity eyed her for a second as if debating whether she believed her or not. “Mmhm. So how you holdin’ up, Ti?”

“I’m fine, I’m good.”

“If you’re not, you know you can tell me right?” Trinity pulled her into a small hug, resting her head against Tika’s head, lovingly. She appreciated her cousin wanting to check up on her but she didn’t want to talk about any of it. Finally getting to a point where she could leave her house without crying, Tika didn’t want to make any steps backwards. If she did, she knew the result wouldn’t be good for her.

“Enough about me though. What about you, champ? Winning in our backyard, babe. That was everything.” The proud smile was unmistakable. To say Tika was proud would be an understatement. She always knew Trinity would get her WrestleMania moment, her only regret is that she missed it.

Trinity smiled bashfully, ignoring the people moving around them trying to get things ready for the show. Tika noticed and moved them to the other part of the hallway, trying to get out of the way.

“It was amazing. I felt so much love, I didn’t think the people would really be happy I won. It was a shocker.”

“Girl, please.” Tika shooed her playfully. “With all that shaking and flipping you did. Who wouldn’t love you? I was looking at you tryna figure out if that was my big cousin out there slayin’.”

They bumped shoulders as they laughed loudly earning looks from the people around them to which they gave them nasty glares. When they were together, it was loud and everyone had a good time. And if anyone wasn’t having a good time then they could leave as Trinity would always say.

“Come on, I know Jon and Josh wanna see you. They’ve been talkin’ about you since we last saw you in March.”

Trinity was never one to ask anything. The words that came out of her mouth, usually came out in a demand. This time was no difference. Tika gave a fleeting glance as Trinity drug her away holding onto her hand tightly. As they passed throngs of people, their co-workers, they attempted to speak to Tika but Trinity was not slowing down. Instead of a proper conversation, Tika gave them small waves and apologetic smiles.

When they entered the large, open locker room, the room got louder. There was an up roar of cheers, shit talking and laughing. Just what Tika had missed. Watching Austin record for his gaming channel, especially the competitions were pure entertainment. Kofi and E sat in front of the monitors Austin had set up on the table playing UFC. It must have been for the tournament he saw Jon going on and on about on Twitter. Jon, his brother Josh, Antonio and AJ stood around the trio, as spectators and commentators. Trinity bumped shoulders with Jon, he turned around prepared to pop her arm until his eyes landed on me.

“Oh snap! Lil Tiki torch in the house,” he yelled draping his arms around her. His hug swallowed her leaving her no choice but to bury her face in his chest until he was ready to let her go. Tika couldn’t help but laugh at how affectionate he always seemed to be. His outburst had caught the attention of the other males in the room.

“We’ve got the baddest woman in the land with a camera in her hand, Miss Tika Harris” Austin roared looking into the camera. A round of ‘oooh’ emanated from E and Kofi at his rhyme.

“How you doin’, love?” Josh asked pulling her away from his brother’s arms into his. “I’m alright. No worries.” Josh was the calmer twin. He didn’t need to be loud all the time like his older brother. Then again, he could get just as loud if need be. Austin and Antonio gave her quick squeezes then returned to the game play.

“Long time, no see, darlin’.”

“Hi to you too, AJ.”

Tika kept her head forward staring at the screens in front of her not wanting their interaction to be caught on the cameras. She knew that fans paid more attention to those in the background more than the ones right in front. The last thing she needed was marks ganging up on her and sending mean tweets.

His eyes bore into the side of her face. The baby blues were locked in, he didn’t care about the presence of a Austin’s cameras. “Your thumbs don’t look broke to me.”

“What,” she asked with a slight laugh.

“I mean I figured you weren’t textin’ cause your thumbs were broken,” he sighed folding his arms across his chest. “But I see they’re just fine.”

Tika didn’t feel like getting into this conversation while they were in ear shot of everyone else and the camera. The last thing she needed was for someone to make a big deal out of them talking. She’s seen first hands what false accusations can do to someone’s career in this company especially a female. With a nudge to Trinity’s arm, Tika left the locker room already knowing AJ would be right behind her shortly. While she wondered down the hallway towards the large stack of crates she scrolled through the notifications on her phone. There were mainly texts from her parents, especially her mom, who wanted to know how everything was going and how she was doing. The rest were a few friend, who after a year still didn’t get that she didn’t want to constantly relive it all and didn’t want their handouts.

She felt his presence before she saw him. AJ approached her just as she made it to the crates. He lifted her by her hips onto the crates so that he could get a good look at her.

“What is with you wrestlers and picking people up?” She sat her phone beside her on the cart, giving AJ her full attention. In the year that she had been gone, he had let his hair grow longer than what she remembered. His beard was a lot fuller now. Both framed his face, bringing out his eyes even more. “It’s a part of the occupation. Didn’t get these muscles from liftin’ remotes,” he shrugged. A year later and still the same person.

“I’m sorry for not returning your calls and texts. I’m tryna do better now, AJ.”

“Yeah well I accept your apology this time. But next time,” he warned wagging his index finger in Tika’s face. She laughed pushing his finger from her face.

She and AJ had become good friends upon him coming into the company back in 2016. He had such a good spirit, she couldn’t ignore him for long. No matter how hard she tried to ignore him greeting her so nicely every time he saw her or the small conversations and jokes he made when they found themselves near each other with time to kill. Some of the men that worked for the company tried to give off this vibe that they were good people but in reality, they were assholes. But AJ was different, he was the person he put out for others to see.

“No but really. How you holdin’ up, kid?”

“Kid?” She scoffed at the name. “I’m a grown woman, AJ. Not a kid. I told you about that name before.”

“You’re a kid to me. A sassy one.”

“Grown. Woman.” She spoke slowly maintaining eye contact with him. A smile graced his lips as he waved her off playfully. “Whatever, kid or grown woman. How you holdin’ up?”

“I’m fine. Taking it day by day.”

AJ was the first person to find her after it initially happened. She was standing in the lobby of the hotel with Trinity, the twins and some of their other co-workers debating on plans when she got a phone call from her mom. They were in New York for Raw, it was a month before the brand split. She would never forget how her mom sounded on the other end of the phone. For a moment, she felt like she was paralyzed but then she was tripping over herself repeating that she was coming home to her mom before hanging up. The hallway that she had snuck off to was clear, the only noises around her was the dinging from the nearby elevator bank.

All she remembered was AJ helping her from the floor, trying to ask her what’s wrong. She couldn’t speak. She couldn’t bring herself to repeat what her mom had told her, she didn’t want to make any assumptions and saying it out loud would make her do just that. For a few minutes, all she could do was cry. She sobbed quietly into his chest, something she wouldn’t be able to do when she reached Orlando. The world around her felt as though it had come to a stand still. She rememberedbletting him know that something was wrong with her daughter and she needed to get home.

AJ stayed with her until Trinity spoke with her aunt, Tika’s mom, to find out what exactly was happening. Tika clung to him, her head was throbbing but she couldn’t stop her tears. He hated to see her upset, he had never seen her do anything but smile, laugh and occasionally glare.

“You’re thinking about it. Don’t do that.” Her voice was soft and sweet. She smiled but AJ saw the sadness behind the smile on her smile. “Thinking about it won’t change it, AJ. I learned that the hard way.”

AJ opened his mouth to speak but Austin yelling out his name cut him off. I shooed him away when he tried to keep talking. Getting AJ away from the whole conversation was for the best. It was part of the reason Tika had stopped responding to his texts. AJ was way more comfortable talking about it than she was. It didn’t upset her that he wanted to talk about it, it upset her that at some point she was comfortable talking about it with him. She just didn’t think she was ready and here it is a year later.

Grabbing her phone, Tika hopped down to go back to her camera so she could do test shots. On the way, she glanced at her phone for the time, her lock screen catching her eye instead. The picture put a smile on her face, most of the time it’s what kept her going. The person she was doing everything for.

#aj styles #aj styles/oc #tika sumpter #naomi #Golden Hearts #my work #masterlist

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onlygotafewdollas · 5 years ago

Note

You have great taste in music! I really like R&B-style songs too! My playlist is so long bc whenever I hear a kpop song I like, I just it to the playlist rather than my library. Pdx101 is the first (and only) survival type show I've seen, it was simultaneously great and awful, but I'm glad I watched it. Yeah, evil editing can be annoying and it's unnecessary, I'm more interested in watching the performances and seeing them put them together and having fun -carat anon 1/?

I've heard of Immortal Songs, but I haven't watched it, I've seen clips where svt was on it tho. Being indecisive is something I can honestly relate to. I'm sure you'll make the right decision regarding the carat bong tho. I like talking to you too, it's fun! We seem to have quite a bit in common. Also, nope I'm a ghost, I died twice, after both MV teasers, this comeback is gonna slap me with a ton of bricks. Oh I've heard of Vincent Blue I think! I saw him on Youtube, I think he did a cover of something that I really liked, I think Jimin Park was also in the video maybe. I'll definitely give it a listen! Lmao I could totally see Seokmin being like "let's walk!" and I'd be like, "seriously? do we have to?" but then he'd make some cute puppy dog face and I'd cave. Hmmm I'm not sure if Shua would've watched YOI, I haven't seen it either, I'd rather watch something like BNHA with him Okay Sims is so good! That was one of my favourite things to do with my friends when I was younger, playing Sims alone is fun, but with other people, it's a whole different experience. I feel like Wonwoo would enjoy it and find it really amusing. YES OMG THE SECOND TEASER, I'M EVEN LESS READY NOW. LIKE ARE THEY TRYING TO KILL ME? Oh that must've been really hard on you, I got into kpop around that time so tbh it felt weird to get into SHINee plus I don't really stan older gen groups. But I really like Key's solo debut! Honestly that whole album is so good. Omg I love Monsta X! I got to see them in concert last month, it was honestly the best experience I've ever had, they're unbelievable on stage. Who's your bias? Mine's Jooheon. I stan a lot of groups, and listen to a whole lot more, maybe I have a problem lmao, but svt are my ults. I love that you went with dog breeds, they all fit so well! You did a good job for such a difficult question haha. I had fun looking up pics of those dog breeds since I haven't heard of some of them. Is it safe to assume you prefer dogs over cats or are you an animal lover who loves all animals? What's your favourite animal outside of those? Oh Anne! My name spelt backwards is Anne J. I'll let you figure that out lmao. We're getting close to the reveal now? When is it supposed to be again? -carat anon

1. Ahh thanks!! R&B just hits different LOL. I think it really allows for singers to show off their voices and technical talent. Def def def check out Vincent Blue tho!

2. Same with the whole drama and evil editing thing. Honestly the only reason I started watching Under 19 was because I was really bored and was interested in how some of the boys would perform but it started to get kinda dramatic with guys leaving and getting kicked out and blah blah blah so I tend to stick with other kinds of entertainment shows.

3. I literally just saw the second teaser and I’m gonna have to agree with you on this one, I’m dead too. Don’t even know how I made it this far as a carat without actually dying from shock from how freaking amazing they are. Hit is gonna be such a frickin bop. DROP IT ALREADY YOU COWARDS

4. oh YUP Seokmin could ask me to do anything and I’d do it willingly, no questions asked. I’m also definitely the friend in my group that insists that we can walk no matter the distance so he wouldn’t even have to try that hard with the puppy face but let’s be real I’d fake being annoyed about it so he’d give me the puppy eyes LOL

4. Ooh yes BNHA!! Or maybe even like SNK, Tokyo Ghoul, Death Parade...or we could tackle having a Naruto marathon LOL. I was caught up with Naruto at one point but then I stopped watching it and now I’m totally lost again hahaha. I also started rewatching One Piece last summer and got to episode 400 something...maybe I’ll get back on that again,,,

5. Man my parents only let me play educational computer games when I was younger so the only experience I have with sims is watching other people play! I could see the appeal tho

6. Yea, Jonghyun’s death was something that really made me stop and think about how life can be so uncertain. It was really rough bc he was one of my biases and his funeral was on my birthday that year too and idk I kinda just didn’t really know how to continue being a fan of theirs after that. But like I said, I recently got back into them and just relish the fact that his voice has been immortalized through their older songs :’)

7. DAMN HOW Y’ALL BE AFFORDING KPOP CONCERT TICKETS?? I know someone that’s gonna be seeing Svt in Seoul for Ode To You and I’m over here with my broke ass tryna figure out how to save for if they ever come to the states sdlkfjsdjflsdkfjsldkf

8. My bias is Hyungwon bc he’s like...a living meme. There’s that one gif of him sipping his starbucks and looking all shady and it makes me laugh bc I’ve totally done the same thing before and actually do it pretty frequently LMAO. But I also really like Shownu. Have you watched his mukbang series with M2??? That show got me through the last few weeks of college I swear to god, and especially the eps where Wonho was a guest star had me DEAD

9. Yea I don’t like actively stan a lot of groups but listen to a bunch here and there so I get what you mean! I guess for a while I was really into SNSD but it never got to the point that I’d say I was a stan. Svt and SHINee will always be my true loves (though yea Monsta X is creeping up there too)

10. HAHA THANK U I picked dog breeds bc I was gonna do animals but I feel like that’d get boring bc like everyone says Jun and Woo are like cats, Hoshi calls himself a tiger and ppl think he’s a hamster, Mingyu is a puppy, etc. So I figured since I love dogs a lot and I also love svt a lot....why not combine the two lolol

11. I do love both dogs and cats (and all other animals) but if I had to only choose one to have as a pet I’d go with a dog for sure!! They’re just,,,so pure,,,precious BABIES. My favorite dog breed is probably the samoyed! I love that they have those cute smiles. Just thinking about it makes my heart melt :’) But other than dogs, I had a phase where I was SUPER into pandas. I think part of it was that I identified with having really bad dark circles and always being tired LOL. Lowkey I still am obsessed with them but you can’t pet pandas soooooooo...

12. So...Jenna? Unless I’m somehow a dumbass? LOL

We really do seem to have a lot in common, so I’m excited for the reveal! If I remember correctly, it’s on the day that Hit gets dropped heh

But also with the whole carat bong thing,,,I heard they might not be selling V1 anymore???? So???? I might be forced to buy V2???? idk man idk

#carat anon #these are getting longer and longer LOL

0 notes

haiyuta · 8 years ago

Text

Crush || Hongseok

Group: Pentagon

Member: Hongseok

Genre: angst

Word count: 1.7 K

Request: Can I request Pentagon's Hongseok as your brother's best friend and the reader being infatuated with him? I prefer it to be angsty and the ending is up to you!

A/n: This was a wild ride anon. Sorry for being late I wrote my heart out though even though I'm not the best at angst. -admin Tae

The first time you met Hongseok was when you were kids your older brother was the first year in middle school as well as Hongseok. He brought a new friend home after school to play some video games.

Being a wide-eyed kid you didn't find him very interesting he had glasses with a bowl haircut as you watched from the stairs at the pair.

You remember your brother eyeing you from the sitting award.

"Hey Y/n this is Hongseok I met him in class," your brother said. Soon enough they became best of friends. And you became the annoying little sister. Hongseok was kind letting you watch them play even though your brother didn't like how you asked a million and one questions.

From elementary school came the awkward middle school phase of life as you entered the local school Hongseok and your brother were already in their last year of middle school. Leaving for high school once you hit another grade level.

Things changed from there. You slowly saw Hongseok change from a nerd to a little less of a nerd. You didn't mind how he was a nerd. He was kind. Pure of heart. Hongseok would give you an adorable smile to you when he saw you. Everything about him was perfect. You knew in your young mind these feelings weren't mutual or platonic. They were leaning more to romantic.

You will always remember the day it was the last day of school for that year. The whole year went swimmingly until you found out your "friend" was actually making fun of you. After you confronted her she pushed you down. You sat there and watched as her and your past friends walked past you. You felt defeated and abandoned.

You clutched your lead your bad next to you as you thought about why were you so unlucky for this to happen to. Until Hongseok showed up, he looked like he just packed up his stuff. He and your brother were moving to high school while you had to stay behind with these people.

"Had a hard day?" he asked standing as you sat on the grass. You nodded slowly wiping the already long gone tears. "Yeah, me too," he said sitting down next to you.

"My friends all abandoned me," you said looking at both of your sneakers. "And you and my brother are leaving as well" you sighed tears almost springing to your eyes.

"Hey it's okay," Hongseok said tapping your head caringly. "You know I will always be here for you" In that moment you knew. It was kind of a life-changing experience like the world went slower and the moon and stars aligned.

As the years went on you grew and so did Hongseok. He became a very handsome guy. From his swept brown hair to a new found confidence he had about himself.

It was a hot summer day when you found out Hongseok was leaving for America. As you sat on your bed panting from the heat your sudden phone buzzed. Looking down you picked it up to see an alert from your friend.

"I heard Hongseok was going to America for the next few years for college" you re-read that message multiple times. Your heart dropped as you thought of Hongseok leaving you. He was your friend and long time crush.

Yes, you admit it you had a crush on Hongseok your brothers best friends. Having a childhood crush on him you didn't expect to last till college. You thought after dating other guys you would get over him. You felt delusional about having a crush on him declaring to yourself you can't date him.

"Y/n Hongseok is coming over to hang out before he leaves for college," your brother said. You sat there confused, excited and happy to get to see Hongseok before the American studies.

You put on a fake smile "That's great" you told him.

Hongseok finally arrived at your home hours later. After having a small freak out, crying, smiling and the dreading his arrival.

You watched Hongseok out the corner of your eye to see him talking to your brother outside on the lawn.

"I can't let him go to America without him knowing my feelings," you told your friend. "Are you sure Y/n I don't want you to get hurt?" a male voice said through the phone. Your friend was named Wooseok probably the most loveable friend you could as for.

He knew Hongseok through a friend of a friend that's how he got the information. "I don't want to live with regret," you said peeking out to see your brother leading Hongseok inside. You heard Wooseok sigh "I can't stop you but just think it through a little" Wooseok said.

"I will," you said saying your goodbye. You jetted out your room to the mirror as you smoothed down your hair and looked at your clothing.

Going downstairs Hongseok was sitting on the sofa talking and smiling to your brother, He looked so good it left you breathless. Wearing a leather jacket his dark brown hair cut nicely with a large gorgeous smile on his lips.

Hongseok smiled as his eyes trailed to find you "Hey y/n" he said smiling waving you down.

The night was filled with laughs and enjoyable moments. It was awkward sitting so close to Hongseok your feeling aching for you to be in his lap. For yo to touch longer than the fading feeling of a high five and a short hug.

Hongseok has changed he globbed up into a handsome guy. He was still your little dork to you.

The night was dark you sighed looking at the door as the hallway lights shut off. Hongseok was staying the night but you couldn't bring yourself to confess to him. Your feelings tied up in a big ball.

"Goodnight Y/n" you heard Hongseok call from the door. You looked up deciding now was the time as you scrambled to the door as you opened it to see Hongseok heading to the guest room.

"Hongseok" you said whispered screamed out at him. "What," he said turning around at you.

You looked over at him in the dark light a sleep shirt with some baseball shorts. "Come here" you waved him over. You checked your parents and brother room there lights were off signaling they were probably asleep.

Hongseok walked over to you standing tall in front in front of you. "Hongseok I," you stopped breathing in some air. "I'm going to miss you," you said smiling sadly at the thought of him leaving.

You sighed "it's okay," he said. You gave a flat line smile and stepped closer to him. "Hongseok I wanted to say this for a long time" you paused. Your stomach was turning. heart racing and your nailed embedding themselves in your palm.

"I have liked you for a very long time," you said and leaned up to leave a kiss on his lips. Hongseok didn't have a response to your kiss. In the instant you knew. Hongseok grabbed your shoulders and pushed you off.

"What're you doing," he asked pushing you away gently. "I was" you stuttered out staring at his confuse look on his face.

He paused and put his hand on his forehead, your heart dropping with every second. "I have a girlfriend Y/n" he dropped the bomb on you.

Your eyes widen "Oh" you said pulling yourself away from him. You cheek hot from what you just did. "I'm sorry I can't," he said looking at you with those kind eyes. You felt stupid. No stupid was a simple word you felt like an idiot, dense, ignorant.

"Sorry I'll just go to sleep," you said opening your door trying to hurry in the room. Then Hongseok spoke up "If you told me years ago I maybe and probably would have," he said quietly. You stopped wiping the tears that were blurring your vision.

"Things change" he continued. "Yeah" you agreed "Goodnight," you said closing your door. Once the door was closed you were crying your eyes out. Salty tears rained from your eyes as you flopped yourself on the bed crying yourself to sleep.

The next morning Hongseok was gone his flight early in the morning. You felt like a fool as you stared at the tv as your brother went on about how Hongseok was so lucky to be going to America. It seemed Hongseok didn't tell him about last night. You could at least thank him for that.

Bonus part

5 years later

You sighed looking at the drink in your hand another Christmas party. St least the peppermint drinks were good. You sipped on it watching some of your friends mingle with each other.

"Hey" someone said you looked over not wanting to really mingle today. You looked up to see Hongseok in a suit holding a drink in his hand. He has changed he was taller more adult like. His skin still the golden tan like always. Your eyes widen "hey" you said surprised at his appearance here.

"Aren't you happy to see me," he asked turning his head a bit with a smirk.

You were glad to see him he was okay and healthy. "Of course," you told him. Hongseok grinned "How's life," he asked standing a few feet away from you. "fine," you told him with a straight smile.

"How was America," you asked Hongseok laughed a little "great as can be," he said. You nodded "but when I was in America I found out my girlfriend cheated on me," he said nodding.

You stared at your drink "I'm sorry to hear that" you said sincerely.

"Y/n could we maybe get a drink- or-" he was interrupted by someone slinging their arm around you. "Hey, can we go home I want to open my present early" Wooseok said suggestively holding your hips close. You smiled feeling your boyfriend warmth on you.

"Yeah we can go," you said looking at Wooseok boyish yet good looking face. "Hello Hongseok I haven't seen you in awhile" he bowed to his senior. "Me neither" Hongseok smiled a little at his old acquaintance.

"We such catch up," he said nodding. Hongseok gave a quick 'of course". "Bye Hongseok" you said.

"Goodbye," he said softly staring at the two off you. Leaving with Wooseok in toe. Your feelings for Hongseok was gone replaced with a platonic feeling. You smiled feeling Wooseok slip his hand into yours as you left the building.

Wooseok was now the love of your life after Hongseok he helped you through the pain cheered you up. He was your prince for real this time.

#kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop angst #pentagon #pentagon scenarios

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nct-thedreamchaser · 8 years ago

Text

Falling In Love Again [Part 1]

Words: 2320

Genre: Fluff, Romance, Light Angst

Pairing: Jeno x Reader

Request: Omg hello I’m from SG too hehe, I assume you have your O’s/ N’s this year? Good luck! 💕 Meanwhile, could I request for a Jeno scenario where he has a crush on a dance senior in SOPA? thank you 😙

A/N: Wew! After such a long time, I am finally going to upload the first part of my Jeno fanfiction! With the length and progress of the story, I assume that this is going to be at least 2 to 3 parts long! There was not really any specification of genre but considering that it has to do with a crush, the genres stated above were probably the most common? Nevertheless, I hope you guys would enjoy this one as much as I loved writing it! :) Once again, thank you for requesting! :) The request box is still open, but you guys would have to wait a little while longer as I have 2 more fanfictions in queue now! The rules can be found HERE and happy requesting! ^^

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The day started off on an extremely boring note. In the morning, there was Advanced Math and Chemistry, back-to-back, and they were also known as the two subjects that I did not like at all. Despite the fact that I was actually good at it (I don’t know how either), I just had no interest. Strangely, for some reason, the only subject that I actually liked was English and Geography, simply because it was a breeze for me.

Furthermore, my best friend was Mark Lee Minhyung, who had grown up in the United States. Technically, he was a year older than the entire class. However, because his father had relocated to Seoul and he was born in the second half of the year, he had to join a grade lower. He was a pure, simple and very loving hyung who loved to teach me English and Geography, which explained why I loved those subjects. As a repayment, I would teach him Advanced Math and Korean to the best of my ability.

Now, my name is Lee Jeno and I was a student at the Seoul School of Performing Arts, or also known as SOPA. It was easier to say that we were the one of the richest and most prestigious schools in the nation. Furthermore, I had an immense passion for arts, especially in street and hip-hop dancing. Sure, my parents were not the best of supporters, but I worked hard for the scholarship, and eventually enrolled into the school through my talent and academic grades combined.

We were just like any other ordinary school, except the fact that we tended to graduate with diplomas of our various art forms, on top of our academic grades. Yes, we took the CSATs, or also known as the College Entrance Exams. However, the only thing different about it was that we took our art form as an additional subject. Hence, it was definitely more difficult because we had to juggle both our passions and our school work, which could render us being in school from as early as 8am, all the way to 11pm.

Luckily, all of us had an immense passion for the arts, which helped us to encourage one another and made sure that none of us fell behind in our classes. In other words, the school was not just filled with groups of the various forms; we were one family.

One that helped me in particular was a senior named Y/N. Okay, she was not really a senior because we were of the same age, but she was born in the first half of the year which rendered her joining one grade higher than me. She, too, joined the same art form, except that she was majoring in Contemporary dance and it was something that I could never do. Till this day, contemporary dance never failed to amaze me, especially with how much grace and flair they had when they pulled off the dance moves on the floor flawlessly.

It all started simply because she lived in the same neighbourhood and I had always taken notice of her. Why? That was because she was always at the porch either listening to music or painting on a canvas sheet. From far, she was a talented artist too and could paint all sorts, from people to cities to scenic landscapes. It was mind boggling to how she could do so much.

However, that was what made me so attracted to her in the first place. She was young, but she was beautiful and a mere wisp of a girl. Her skin was slightly tanned but smooth, her hair wavy and her eyes were dark brown in colour. Ever since then, there were times when she looked in my direction and smiled, only to realise that I would actually go to the extent of choosing to study at the porch whenever she was there.

One day, I decided that I was going to muster the courage to talk and say hello. To my surprise, she welcomed me with open arms and was a chatterbox, unlike me. That was definitely a relief as it helped to fill the gaps in our conversations since I was not much of a talker. Over time, she began to tell me more about herself and slowly but surely, I did the same, only to realise that we had similar interests. No, it was not just dance which brought us together, but video games and the love of tag. Hence, we found ourselves going to each other’s houses to battle it out with a console during the holidays, or running in the wide open spaces from dawn to dusk. As I got to know her more, the more I had begun to fall for her.

Soon, we grew up to become teenagers and she only became even prettier, and was probably one of the girls who had a long line of boys chasing after her, to my dismay. No matter how hard I tried, she saw me as a best friend and nothing more. We were not in the same class or level, but we never failed to make it a point that we go to school and have lunch when we had a common break. Therefore, our bond still had the chance of becoming more tight knit than ever before.

Unfortunately, this was the time when she had managed to get a boyfriend by the name of Lee Taemin, a senior in the dance major as well, and he was none other than one of my biggest rivals. Obviously, I was crushed at the news and what made it even more painful was the fact that she seemed to forget I existed. Whenever I called, it always ended up with a, “Hey Jeno! Sorry, I can’t—-” and the typical reasons just seemed to surround Taemin. He was not the man for her, and I tried to tell her, but she remained stubborn and instead thought that I was jealous, which strained our friendship at times.

However, Taemin could only hide his true colours for ever and soon, he was seen to be flirting with other girls during our breaks in between dance practices. It was only then when fate decided that it was enough for her, and she indeed walked in to see who he really was. At that point, he was holding onto another girl in his arms and kissed her passionately. This angered her beyond words and it only resulted in him getting pulled out and becoming involved in a very heated and aggressive argument with her. I wanted to step in as the argument went on, but Jaemin had said that it would be of no use because it was not my place.

I was merely a pillar of support and was obliged to be happy for her and support her through the way, no matter how crazy, dangerous or heartbreaking it might be. There were many times when I had wanted to stop her but Jaemin always prevented me from doing so, giving the look of disapproval all the time. He always had a philosophy and one of it was so that she knew a little bit more about Taemin on her own, because it was her judgement by her own right. I never had a part to play, and hence, Jaemin only recommended that I continue being her shoulder to cry on.

It was lunch time now and it was every student’s favourite period. The food was always good and it never failed to impress, but I soon got bored eventually and resorted to home cooked food. Every morning, I would wake up to aid my mum in preparing my lunchbox for school and honestly, it was way more delicious, especially with the fact that I had a chance to make my own lunch. I was also the student who preferred to avoid the crowd, hence, I would head over to the field and sit at the benches under the trees to enjoy the tranquility of nature and the peace and quiet it offered.

However, there she sat, and her eyes were obviously red and puffy from crying. She had a whole travel packet of tissue and it was probably easier to count by the dozens when it came to the tissues used. She looked into the horizon as she hugged her knees and it was heartbreaking to see her that way. Y/N was probably the most confident girl that I had ever known, but now, she looked vulnerable, lost and extremely heartbroken.

Then, I took a seat next to her and called out her name, but it only resulted into another possible cycle of crying all over again and it was obvious how her eyes welled up all over again. I did not know what to do at that point, so I placed an arm around her and rubbed small circles into her back. My heart was palpitating against my chest now, but that was not something that I could show now.

“What happened?” I asked curiously, even if I knew what it was about.

“That jerk,” Y/N replied in between sobs, “He cheated on me, and yet, he blamed me for being annoying and that I should not be bothered with his personal life. In fact, he just announced to the cafeteria that his love for me was fake. It was just a stupid bet that he had made with Kim Kibum and if he succeeded, he would get 500,000won. I’m such an idiot!”

At that point, I was beyond shocked and I was way more than angry. “Angry” was probably an understatement, but then again, I felt bad for the fact that it was partially her fault for not listening to us sooner. Unfortunately, when I brought that up in a somewhat teasing manner in hopes of lighting up the mood, I was only shot down with her staring daggers into my soul and a hard hit on my shoulder, causing me to wince in pain.

There was no other form of comfort, so the only thing I could think of was to keep silent for now. She continued to cry and my sleeves were soon drenched with her tears. Seeing her like this caused my heart to tear, but all I could do was to hold her tight; words would never work once again. She was stubborn, and I knew better than to push a stubborn person out of her own thoughts and feelings.

Therefore, I resorted to actions, especially with the realisation that my lunch break was almost over. I attempted to give her my food, but she only shook her head and said that she had no appetite to eat. So I gave her my handkerchief. Her tissues were running low and knowing her, she was probably going to cry for the rest of the day. She looked at it at first, confused as to why I was giving it to her, and I decided to kneel in front of her to dab the remaining tears from her cheeks. She looked at me with tears still in her eyes and I only smiled a reassuring smile, telling her that everything will be alright.

Soon, the bell rang and I knew that was my cue to go. I wanted to drag her but before I could do that, she said, “I’m not going for any other lessons today. I can’t, especially when Taemin and I are in one of the same classes together.”

I nodded in understanding and gave her a warm embrace, before grabbing my lunch box and headed back to the classroom blocks.

“Jeno-yah!! What do I do with your handkerchief, don’t you need it?”

“Nope. In fact, I think you would need it more than I do. Keep it, and return it to me when things get better alright? Please go home and get plenty of rest. I’ll fill you in for today.” I said with a smile, and waved her goodbye as she headed in the opposite direction to the administration office. I could tell that she was trying her best to hold it in, but reciprocated my gesture anyway.

At that moment, I got a text message and opened it, only to realise that it was a message from Y/N. It read:

Thanks Jeno-yah. You really are one of the most genuine and comforting juniors that I have ever met. Sorry I did not say much today and did not have the energy to say thank you. But really though, thanks for the company today. I don’t say this enough, but I am so grateful to have you as a friend. Good luck for the rest of the day.

I smiled when I read the text, but a bitter feeling crept up in my heart when I saw the words “junior” and “friend”. That was simply because it meant that my love was not going to be reciprocated at all. Nevertheless, I decided to plan something special for her to cheer her up; a movie, ice cream and a walk along the Hangang River because it was all the things she loved to do when she was stressed, upset or just needed to find some peace of mind.

It was only right I do so, I felt. She had always been there for me, in the toughest of times when I was alone, scared and she stood up for me when I was bullied for my amateur dancing skills and mocked for the fact that I was only accepted because of my good grades. She was there to be my strength, a shoulder to cry on and the pillar of support and encouragement that I always needed. Without her, I doubt I would have made it so far.

Now, it was my turn to do the same.

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jawbreakers2015 · 6 years ago

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Player Profile: Kirioso

Hailing from the Swedish island Gotland

What names do you go by?

Kirioso, Kiri for short. It's probably the final one. A decently long line of random names I've used over the years. Though all of those quickly stopped working for me as I got older, so I came up with the one I use now, and I'm incredibly fond of it! It's relatively easy to say, and it fits me more as a person! Plus some of my friends thinks it's cute so it works out.

How do you feel about your performance in this tournament?

Honestly, not so great, I did a lot of stupid crap that I shouldn't have and that got me killed. And my fight against Josu didn't quite go as planned, cause I know I can beat him.

What was your strategy preparing for and competing in the tournament?

Strategy? I don't know the meaning of that word. A lot of the time, I just did a warm up with Neer and that was about it.

Which was your hardest match of the tournament?

Hardest match was probably against Hang (Troke). I still didn't quite know how to deal with his playstyle at all, so I lost both rounds. That and me having some of the worst positioning imaginable

What surprised you most about the tournament?

It was a bigger tournament (For this game at least) so nothing really took me by surprise, other than maybe Cherry getting so high up on the rankings (Still proud of him).

Is there anyone you didn’t face that you wish you did?

Neh, I play cause I like playing I guess, there wasn't really anyone that I wanted to hone in on.

How did you get into Lethal League?

I first saw LL by pure chance while browsing steam one day. It looked really interesting so I looked up some videos to get a better look at it in action. I saw that Markiplier did a video on it, so I checked it out and was instantly hooked, by everything it offered! I got it right away and pestered all of my friends to get it too... All in all though I didn't get to play it nearly as much as I'd wanted to... So of course when Blaze came out, I got it pretty much on launch day.

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What’s your current Lethal League experience?

I have around 20 hours in LL and 350-400 hours in Blaze at the moment, and it's not gonna stop rising any time soon. I'm not awful at the game I'd say, but I definitely wanna get much better still. I mostly play just to have fun with friends and socialise with the community. I don't play ranked pretty much at all anymore, sticking to friendlies for the most part, it's more fun...

Who are your main/side/counter character picks?

I main Sonata, with Nitro being a strong side pick. Jet has however slowly started to also slide into the roster of my more played characters.

What are your favourite character outfits?

With Nitro I pretty much always have to run "Street Hero". A running joke within my friend circle is my Swedish nationalism, so if I can run yellow and blue it's a necessity. With Sonata I run "Strawberry Cream", cause I'm silly and it reminds me of a zebra with a pink hairdo.

What are your stage preferences?

Favourite stages are Outskirts and Room 21. Absolutely despise Paradise Fields and I try and stay away from New Rise District.

What input method do you use?

A PS2 controller with a converter.

Will you come to Stunfest?

Ha, no, physically can't, even if I wanted to.

What are some other games you play?

Are there other games? Uuuh... I guess I really like Borderlands? Maybe Terraria? I dunno, it fluctuates what I actually play. Though I will say that I'm a massive MMO junkie. I like just putting on a video on my other screen while just turning off my brain grinding away at something like TERA or some other garbage like that.

Is there anything else you’d like to say to the community?

I love all y'all.

Kirioso also makes some great music you can check out on this soundcloud.

#Jawbreakers #Lethal League Blaze #Player Profile #Kirioso #soundcloud #Europe #Jaw Breakers #Lethal League #Team Reptile

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collectiveunconciousofficial · 8 years ago

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The Millennial Gothic

My cousin and I used to play video games together every summer for hours on end. Him being four years older than me, he had every advantage to win, from superior dexterity and better stats on his avatars, right down to his hands being bigger and better suited to hold the Xbox controller. We’d go head to head in virtual basketball, wrestling, and, my personal favorite, car racing. For a long time, our gaming sessions always went the same way. I would try whole heartedly to win, until I realized my skills just weren’t developed enough. No matter what I did, at the end of every match, my cousin would get the winner screen and I would just get upset. It seemed I had just as little chance at beating him while trying my hardest as I did if I just pulled donuts with my car instead, so one day that’s just what I did. It filled me with a strange pleasure and pride to see my cousin grow frustrated at blatantly rejecting proper participation. He would call me a sore loser when I started driving the wrong way on the race track, eventually giving me the silent treatment when I escalated to aiming for head-on collisions with his car. Remembering my younger self spitefully driving the wrong way on the track it’s no wonder I grew up to be the archetypal cousin dressed in all black, sweating it out in the summer sun at the family picnic. I may have retired from playing racing games, but in this sense, I’m still driving the wrong way on the race track.

Thinking back on times spent ruining circuit races, I asked myself: isn’t that the main principle at the heart of the gothic tradition? Purposefully driving the wrong way on the race track? Taking action to become as dramatically inconvenient as possible? Keeping these questions in mind, I researched how recent popular media deals with this trademark gothic theme of individual resisting oppressive conventionality. First, how they continue the tradition and then how the formula has been changed with the millennial zeitgeist. Also, I must stipulate that what I will call millennial media is not necessarily media created by millennials, but any facet of popular culture that mainly target and successfully draw large millennial audiences. I will look in depth at a piece that meets this criteria particularly well is the third season of FX’s anthology, American Horror Story: Coven. In both narrative, the protagonists’ struggle with against the coercive influence of society, and by extension, the conditioning of the collective unconscious. Through examining this series as well as other media that relays similar tropes, it will become clear how not only do these franchises feature encrypted evocations of social conditioning in keeping with classic gothic literature, they add a 21st century spin; a millennial irreverence for these forces. We will see how the millennial gothic tradition not only expresses values conditioned by the collective unconscious and but also grapples with the very idea of a collective unconscious.

Before getting to American Horror Story and popular culture, it is important to understand how studies of storytelling and the collective unconscious have gone hand in hand since the early development stages of psychoanalysis. Most notably, in Freud’s concept of the Oedipus complex, taking its name from a mythical story and the Jungian analysts’ conventional of use of Robert Louis Stevenson’s The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in illustrating the concepts of the Ego and Shadow (Stevens, 1990, p. 205). Similarly, as we’ve seen in the writings of Joseph Campbell, myths across cultures replicate certain archetypal characters, situations, and themes. In his study on myth and created stories, Campbell begins by discussing psychoanalysis, stating, “the modern science of reading dreams, has taught us to heed these unsubstantial images.” (Campbell, 2004, p. 5). This is significant in that it linking of dream imagery and fiction writing by highlighting the allegorical nature of any and all story elements. Though Jung’s ideas are largely still considered valid and an apt place to begin when studying group psychology and the unconscious (unlike many Freudian assertions), many dream and story analysts prefer a more refined take on Jung’s collective unconscious. This post-Jungian approach, as it is called, rejects the idea of self-creating archetypes that Jung seems to posit. As is implied in his tendency to describe archetypes as something being inborn, inherent, or inherited from ancestors; Stevens observes that Jung saw the unconscious as “the most remarkable achievement of the cosmos” (29) signaling a certain universal, quasi-mystical edge to what Jung identified as the origin of the unconscious. Post-Jungians instead argue for a less global application of the concept of the collective unconscious. Along with this notion is the implication that archetypes are not universal by pure virtue of some innate, cosmically predetermined human nature, but are widespread due to the ideas they perpetuate and the purposes those ideas serve for certain societies (Adriano, 1993, p.3). This would certainly explain why not every single society/culture has exactly the same stories. Despite obvious similarities between myths, differentiations in the details do exist. These differentiations might stem from factors such as the geography or historical context of a particular society. With post-Jungian developments in mind, it is still crucial to understand that post-Jungians do not dispute that there are certain ancient horrors that subside in all of our subconsciouses; it’s just that Jung might argue these ancient horrors are passed on as if they were carried in genes, while post-Jungians would make the distinction that their fears are not automatically inherited, but persist because they remain relevant. I am inclined to agree with post-Jungian logic as through examining iterations of gothic tropes over the decades, the archetypes while consistently present are not perfect replications of past embodiments. The same archetypes and symbols meanings transform based on contemporaneous factors that affect how audiences might regard them.

As I’ve already briefly touched on, popular literature and literary criticism often are used as tools in understanding Jung’s ideas, particularly in dealing with the Ego (conscious self), Shadow, personal unconscious, and collective unconscious. The personal unconscious, in Jung’s view, are the beliefs and biases conditioned in us by our upbringings (Stevens, 1990, 205). Even as an individual matures and rejects these biases, they always remain in the personal unconscious as they are held by the collective unconscious which is the same throughout a society (Lewin, 2009, p.99). Though relating to the Shadow, the shadow is different from the personal unconscious in that it houses qualities the ego actively detests and denies in itself. Jung believed the rejection of unconscious and the shadow was the cause of all internal disharmony, unhappiness and even evil; that we must acknowledge, confront, or if, necessary, assimilate these unwanted parts of our personality (Stevens, 1990, 205). Though this may seem counterintuitive, in essence, all Jung claimed is that suppressing the desires and fears that lurk in the personal unconscious will not get rid of them. The conscious self must be aware of that which exists in the unconscious, because it does influence our thoughts and actions though we may think it doesn’t. The only way for the problem to get worse is if the unconscious is left unchecked. The idea is Foucauldian at its core: the less you speak about something, the more power you give it. No genre or subculture deals with this theme better than the gothic tradition and its fascination with all things gloomy.

As I write this paper, I can hear my inner gothic tradition and punk subculture purist voice in my head railing against everything I’m saying. That voice (which sounds suspiciously like my middle aged uncle who spent many nights in the nineties wearing black eyeliner onstage with his experimental industrial rock band) claims that going around labelling styles goth dilutes its ideals. If they don’t meet the Ann Rice canon of gothicism or at the very least, some Stephanie Meyer caliber imitation, it’s simply not goth. However, this argument fell apart quickly when I recalled simple historical facts I’ve learned over and over in various art history classes about the origin of the architectural aesthetic term that that the genre takes root in. Initially, the word “gothic” itself was only applied to describe French architecture that rejected the Renaissance method. In the classical mind, the new French style was inefficient with its non-weight bearing walls and other haphazard innovations. Essentially, the science of Renaissance architecture already provided a comprehensive guide on how to build good buildings, why were gothic architects insisting on driving the wrong way on the track? The term “goth” was simply chosen as it referred to the so-called barbarians blamed for the fall of the Roman Empire. There is more meaning in the connotation of the name than the name itself. In its inception, Gothic simply meant not subscribing to Renaissance ideology. It means nothing more than not conforming to and even challenging dominant aesthetic canons. Now, going beyond architecture, gothic fiction can be traced to exactly 1764, with Horace Walpole’s The Castle of Otranto, billed with the subtitle: A Gothic Story. In the story, the only son of a wealthy family is killed before his wedding, prompting the patriarch to divorce his own wife and attempt to forcibly marry his would-be daughter-in-law because he wants to make a male heir to take on his legacy. Walpole’s novella rejects and subverts the idea of admirable pragmatism, villainizing the social norm to establish legacy; the pursuit of some mythical sense of permanence. It is no coincidence that Walpole chose a gothic castle for his setting as it directly references Medieval times, demonstrating how the gothic literary tradition is more closely related to Medieval traditions centered on feeling and intuition, which is at odds with the ideals of classical thought movements such as the Renaissance, The Enlightenment and modern industrial revolutions which present a more scientific, quantifiable worldview (Lachman, 2015, p. 20). Understanding this narrative element is crucial when analyzing the principles at the heart of the death-obsessed gothic tradition we all know and love today and how it has transformed a bit. Additionally, this favoring of feeling over rationalizing explains how the gothic genre lends itself well to horror and science fiction, wherein the protagonists are typically resisting dehumanization and the increasing oppressive systematization of society in one form or another.

As I begin to move out of classical roots of gothic tradition and into contemporary works, I’d like to explain the three reasons I’m choosing to focus on the Coven season of the American Horror Story anthology. First, out of all the seasons, it is one of two that take place primarily in contemporary times with almost all main characters from the present, not ghosts or immortal entities who are costumed to imitate another period. Second, Coven has heavy focus on teen to college aged characters, how they relate to and compete with one another mainly over which one of them will claim the title of Supreme, or leader, of their witch coven. Finally, Coven, despite many critics’ issues with the muddled storylines, was exceptionally more popular than its predecessors Murder House and Asylum, and is still regarded among many fans as the most entertaining season. Furthermore, this distinction between critical merit and entertainment quality is at the heart of why I decided to focus mostly on how gothic principles manifest in television programs rather than films. TV, along with video games, comics, and pop music, tends to fall into the category of lower art forms when compared against cinema or literature. The criticism stems from the fact that TV and so called lower art forms, sacrifice complexity in order to be more appealing to more audiences (Gaut and Lopes, 2013, p. 479). Our feelings on the formal artistic merit of popular media aside, for the purposes of analyzing the zeitgeist of an era, the mass appeal of shows alone is proof of its value as a tool to gage the ideals of a given demographic; in this case, the coveted 18-49 audiences that seem drawn in droves to American Horror Story.

Cordelia: Any last words?

Myrtle Snow: Only one…Balenciaga!

(Gif created from episode of American Horror Story: Coven)

Now, we can look to how the millennial gothic tradition communicates its ideals through fashion. As this video encapsulates, though gothic subculture is typically associated with black Victorian era dress or Morticia Addams’ style, the fashion crosses into territories such as punk rock and cyber punk. The bright colors of pin-up and pastel goth in particular seem to go against what most would usually categorize as gothic aesthetics. Not included in the video, is the recent street goth style, sported by the likes of Kanye West and A$AP Rocky and of course, the bastard offspring of street goth, subject of much ridicule, the health goth style movements. Attached here is the store of the founders of health goth. Though not everyone who subscribes to the health goth style wears their actual merchandise, but by looking at their clothes you can get a sense of the aesthetic.

Health goth is particularly interesting as the founders of the movement have roots in the normcore fashion movement (Davis, 2014). As normcore’s name would suggest its aesthetic champions this idea of being hardcore normal. Aggressively common. It is decidedly reminiscent of many mainstream fashion trends of the nineties marked by acid wash denim, tucked in button-downs, and sneakers as streetwear; style elements that are decidedly unglamorous and by no coincidence reminiscent of clothes the cast of Seinfeld might wear during their absurd exploits. It comes as no surprise that health goth should be linked to this trend as it seems to also provide a commentary on the oversaturation of the fashion industry. Amidst rhetoric championing individuality, there is a certain dignity in rejecting the rat race and embracing, to the point of satirizing the fact that try as we might, we cannot escape trends. Succumbing to the mass production of clothes as a mirror of the mass production of human life and experiences in modern capitalist society. Essentially, health goth blends values of two aesthetics that are superficially at odds; the goth aesthetic, centered on meditations on death and impermanence, and sporty aesthetics, associated with adoration of and perfecting one’s own corporeality (Davis, 2014). Some might argue, as Eugene Thacker does in a podcast about his own book on cosmic pessimism, against giving any weight to something as frivolous, and commercially driven as fashion; that types of clothing rise to popularity because of choices made by fashion executives or costume designers (Abumrad, 2014). However, as scholars on that same show argue, one must consider the factors that led to those aesthetic decisions and what the artists might be trying to communicate visually. I would go even further to include the collective unconscious in this argument. Fashion executives do not guide the fashion zeitgeist, as Thacker’s argument implies, but they gage, tap into, and depend on it. Their artistic productions are not well-received based on some pure aesthetic merit (I would even argue this notion of objectivity in judging aesthetics is itself a myth), but because their aesthetics communicate ideas their target audience is ready to receive. The ideological qualities of fashion in mind, one might be more open to receiving the message that arises out of the synthesis of goth and sporty styles: Fleeting, human life from beginning to end is arbitrated by society’s gaze. In this industrialized, material-minded society, worth is judged by physical appearance and capability, which is all the more reason to look good before you die. Though fairly popular, health goth is still more of a subculture than the fashion trend of the majority, however, its central message is still found in mainstream fashion we see in most popular media, despite seeming unconnected because it manifests slightly differently. The characters of American Horror Story: Coven are beautifully costumed by Lou Eyrich and her team. She hand picks and designs outfits for the characters on all seasons that tend towards the higher end of fashion. Though superficially different from the aesthetics of health goth and normcore, the characters of Coven all conform to mainstream fashion trends, often dressing notably alike to each other one can plainly observe in the season’s promotional video below.

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At both end of this fashion spectrum we can see echoes of the central gothic principle of resisting institution, but with characteristic millennial flair for irony that borders on internal inconsistency. Normcore, health goth, and the fashion of Coven revel in being derivative and embrace being trendy as a simple means of decorating corporeality until inevitable death.

One of the major charges against popular music these days is its homogeny and triviality. Well encapsulated in this skit from the show Portlandia which routinely satirizes middle-class liberal youth subcultures associated with the Pacific Northwest.

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The most important take away from this skit is no matter how the millennials try to challenge oppressive systems, the song always turns into a party anthem with clichéd lyrics playing over the same three or four chords. The creators/stars of the series, Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein’s criticism of millennial culture is not at all subtle: this generation just can’t seem to pull themselves together long enough to intelligently improve their situation. This point is illustrated in how they mindlessly regurgitate the same musical formulas over and over again producing songs that sound exactly alike, failing to progress. This is a typical denigration coming from older generations as a whole, but especially predictable considering Brownstein’s music career, born from the riot grrl punk scene of the nineties. This criticism coming from her only highlights the metamorphosis of counterculture in music from striving to pursue some mythical wholly original sound to a more retrospective approach. We see this throughout all the American Horror Story seasons (it is also of course a centerpiece of Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk’s other major project, Glee) with their utilization of song covers and in Coven, this scene showing one of the character’s overzealous infatuation with Stevie Nicks. This idea of communicating supposedly uniquely personal feelings through pop music, songs produced for mass appeal, is decidedly in keeping with previously touched upon principles of the millennial gothic also expressed through fashion trends. Moreover, the act indirectly references the notion of the collective unconscious; painting it as a societal implantation that directs our desires, feelings, and how we can express them. While this principle of millennial gothic aesthetic is consciously evoked in Coven and satirized for laughs, it manifests seemingly involuntarily in shows such as MTV’s Scream, the CW’s The Vampire Diaries and ABC Family’s Pretty Little Liars. These shows (all notably on youth aimed networks) are filled with histrionic dialogues of teenaged love confessions or passionate quarrels. As the climax of any such scene approaches, like clockwork, the slow, minor key pop song that’s been playing quietly in the background will swell and usually our emotions along with it. It’s become something of a protocol, but upon reflection, overlaying pop music designed to be vague enough to be massively appealing ought to undercut the visual communication of intimacy. Yet, in instances ranging from appropriately tense to eye roll inducing melodrama, fan-favorite scenes routinely follow this outline. This is the cultural phenomena that the Coven scene seems to be satirizing, millennials allowing their most personal aspects of identity to be defined by media industries. This all goes back to the same ideals I discussed when examining normcore, millennials have embraced the industrialized mass-production of human experience. Though, as the scene from Coven exemplifies, youth culture also enjoys mocking that act itself.

Many might read my argument as an excuse for the “lazy” behaviors often associated with “idiot” millennials, exemplified here in a simple Google search. The top result, “millennials are killing” is a meme that calls attention to the trend of articles geared towards older generations that accuse millennials of “killing” certain industries or practices that were previously thriving. With this meme in mind, let’s consider Jack Halberstam’s discussion of their book The Queer Art of Failure. She outlines a notion identified by anthropologist Jack Scott as “weapons of the weak”. These weapons are any tactics used against societal powers and are typically regarded as undignified or improper means by hegemonies as means of discouraging this type of disruptive behavior. With this in mind, charges of apathy or laziness against the millennial generation prove to be based in hegemonic constructs of what productive behavior and success is. This is demonstrated in way millennials choosing not to engage in previously dominant consumer or interpersonal practices is severely criticized in a way that paints the millennial as somehow incompetent or morally bankrupt for not operated within the system in the prescribed way. Of course, these condemnations do little to faze lazy millennials as they would sooner make internet jokes about the charges against them than change their ways, an indication of the millennial gothic tradition’s tendency to embrace this failure or loser of society archetype. I will further examine this way of absorbing conventions both of and detested by the system; turning them against that very system is also evident in how millennial gothic uses archetypes.

The way American Horror Story: Coven employs archetypes and narrative conventions. Continuing our look at how millennial gothic tradition moves away from Brownstein’s punk ideal of actively, emphatically protesting against the system, we should observe this moment from American Horror Story: Coven that made the Madison Montgomery character an internet icon.

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This scene opens with Fiona Goode, the Supreme of the witch coven, balding and vomiting into a toilet. In a prior scene, she had killed Madison Montgomery in hopes that by stopping the rise of a new Supreme she could delay her own demise, but instead finds the younger witch alive and well while she only grows sicker. The tension of the scene is built up with unfocused frames that give the effect of obscured vision to highlight Fiona’s vulnerability and canted angles of Madison’s form presenting her as insidious. As Fiona comes down the hallway to discover her would-be successor, all these qualities indicate to the audience to expect some sort of grandiose explanation of how Madison resurrected herself or some manifesto about her imminent rise to power, anything archetypically villainous. However, Fiona only receives curt answers to her questions about Madison’s escape from death as Madison seems more concerned with pondering the square footage of her new room. Of course the legendary “Surprise, bitch” line, immortalized in many a meme across the internet, is integral in fully appreciating Madison’s irreverence. While Fiona’s alarm in this moment is sophisticated and practical, likely concerning the powers that be and the state of her own future, Madison trivializes her anxieties.

As the season continues, Madison Montgomery proves to stick in the mind of most fans as the feature character of Coven, the heart of its troubled, fashionable teenage aesthetic. In examining Montgomery’s various interactions with authority and conduct in grave situations, a defining difference arises between the nineties era Carrie Brownstein school of troubled youth/young adult and the 2010s Madison Montgomery troubled youth/young adult. The Brownstein school of rebellion would have us scream at the man, while Madison Montgomery snubs the man, finding happiness in frivolous, decadent pleasures while shrugging at the values deemed enviable or venerable by institutions. Though this is a materialistic position, one that would seemingly be welcomed in capitalist doctrine, millennial gothic as Madison Montgomery demonstrates, picks and chooses what it wants from hegemonies and leaves whatever doesn’t suit current goals (in this case, Madison has little respect for the title of Supreme until later when she is in the running to become Supreme). In keeping with the tradition’s appreciation for inconsistency, insincerity, conceit, and most importantly, inconsistency. This notion gains added depth when we see the characters of Coven who hate Madison for these qualities blatantly acting just like as she would in this scene. This encapsulates the millennial gothic tradition’s celebration of inconsistency and dishonesty in storytelling and protagonists who are as flawed if not more so than their antagonists. We can see this across television medium in shows often regarded as highlights of what many hail as our current Golden Age of Television. Breaking Bad, The Sopranos, Mad Men, Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead, and many others in this category center around protagonists that fit neatly into the antihero or Byronic hero archetype. This archetype is prevalent in the offshoots of gothic fiction, science fiction and post-apocalyptic fiction.

One could argue that apocalyptic fiction is one of the oldest traditions. Mankind envisioned the end of the world millennia before gothic fiction in myths such as the Epic of Gilgamesh or the Biblical Flood and Book of Revelations. And what, in spite of centuries of history, links ancient conceptions of divine retribution and modern post-apocalyptic fiction? In his essay, Junot Diaz quotes David Brooke’s statement, “wash away the surface of society, the settled way things have been done. They expose the underlying power structures, the injustices, the patterns of corruption and the unacknowledged inequalities,” then, adding his own point, “…equally important, they allow us insight into the conditions that led to the catastrophe,” (Diaz, 2011). Post-apocalyptic fiction requires the self to become conscious of the systems of power whose influence on our lives we either actively push out of our minds or remain only unconsciously aware of. Where ancient myths of apocalypse often have an external force (a divine deity) putting an end to mankind’s sinfulness, modern apocalyptic fiction synthesizes what is ending with what caused the end; the failings of our seemingly all powerful social constructs brought about its own end. In Coven, we do not see a traditional end-of-the-world type of apocalypse, but rather the end of a way of life in the form of topple of Fiona Goode’s reign over the Coven and her final scene in her personal hell. Sentenced to spend eternity, it is decidedly ironic that a woman who sought immortality and permanence should be tortured to live the same day over and over again; doomed to stagnation, her captor tells her “nobody sent you here but you, baby”. This evokes an integral principle of the millennial gothic tradition. The mythical norms we’ve been conditioned to desire will somehow bring about our downfall. We see this same idea manifest throughout contemporary zombie narratives. While the zombie originated in Caribbean culture as a corpse reanimated by supernatural forces (Peaty, 2011, p. 103), the contemporary American zombie is almost exclusively mythologized as a rogue product of bioengineering. Additionally, often it is not some failure to adhere to the scientific method that causes and sustains the zombification of the population, but instead unfettered pragmatism. From the Umbrella Corporation of Resident Evil films who intend for the release of a zombie virus to solve the earth’s overpopulation problem, to the gory survival tactics of The Walking Dead that usually end in leaving or purposefully feeding fellow humans to zombies to suit one’s own goals, millennials are collectively aware and receptive to this notion of a self-destructive edge to practicality. In a sense, the shadow that comes naturally with American culture, as Hoglund puts it in his book The American Imperial Gothic, which is “[focused] on Enlightenment principles” (22). Obviously, in order for Enlightenment as well as Renaissance thinking to define itself as purely logical, it must reject the presence of irrationality in its doctrine. However, as Jungians would argue, exiling unwanted qualities to the shadow (in rationalism’s case, how it can lead to horrible violence and cruelty) does not solve anything and, as gothic fiction often demonstrate, can escalate into callus utilitarianism that eventually contribute to the self-termination of a system. The millennial method of utilizing gothic apocalypses reveals the usually unaddressed inadequacies of modern industrialized society.

Briefly, my aim is to examine the case of a society which has been loudly castigating itself for Its hypocrisy for more than a century, which speaks verbosely of its own silence, takes great pains to relate in detail the things it does not say, denounces the power it exercises, and promises to liberate itself from the very laws that have made it function. (Foucault, 1978, p. 8)

This quote was taken from the first chapter of Michel Foucault’s The History of Sexuality, aptly titled “We ‘Other Victorians’”. Foucault points to the Victorians when identifying where societal repression of inefficient desires and behaviors for the sake of endorsing more productive lifestyle models originated. It seems interesting then that Victorians, progenitors of social repression, should also be known as the era that dawned the gothic genre, defined by its demonization of any and all forms of authority. Turn of the century Victorian literature expressed an unease held in the Victorian collective unconscious at the trajectory of society brought on by the Industrial Revolution and an increasingly commercially focused society; acknowledging also that their own ideologies are what charted this course. In essence, Victorians were unconsciously wary of the industrialized world they were creating and these insecurities which is the very world millennials have been steeped in since birth. Inheriting generations of history from parents who have also lived and worked within the rules of the same system as their before them did and inevitably meet a similar end. With inheriting the factors of this moment in history, their preoccupation is not simply with anti-authoritarianism and mortality, but has evolved into embrace the triviality of human existence which manifests as irreverence for conventions that attempt to rationalize or prettify human existence. As the Victorians’ collective unconscious housed an acute awareness of the harmfulness of industrializing society, millennials are collectively unconsciously aware that they live the reality the Victorians feared: materialism usurping ethics, homogenized lifestyles, and the commodification of human experience. However, when met with these harsh realities, rather than despair, millennials revel in the absurdity that comes with trying to enjoy yourself before cosmically scheduled doom. The way capitalist ideals are simultaneously express and lampooned in the gothic asethetics American Horror Story: Coven and other current pop culture elements and popular television points to how millenials see through the ruse of modern society. They are critical of the values conditioned by the collective unconscious but, unlike the Victorians, they recognize and accept that, much like fate, they can’t escape it so they might as well embody it; indulge in impractical yet entertaining exploits such as obsessing over fashion, regurgitating the same old catchy tunes, write protagonists that never learn from their mistakes, or drive your video game car the wrong way on the race track. Their entertainment quality is not based in any conventional notion of virtue, but rather, the only virtue is entertainment quality.

References

Abumrad, J. “In the Dust of this Planet”. Radiolab. 2014, September 8. [Audio podcast]

Andriano, J. (1993). Our Ladies of Darkness: Feminine Daemonology in Male Gothic fiction. University Park, PA: Pennsylvania State University Press.

Campbell, J. (2004). The Hero with a Thousand Faces. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press.

Davis, A.P. (2014 October 22). “Introducing Health Goth, A New Lifestyle Fashion Trend”. Retrieved from http://nymag.com/thecut/2014/10/faq-do-you-know-what-health-goth-means.html.

Diaz, J. (2011, May 1). “Apocalypse: What Disasters Reveal”. Retrieved from http://bostonreview.net/junot-diaz-apocalypse-haiti-earthquake.

Foucault, M. (1978). The History of Sexuality. New York: Vintage Books.

Gaut, B., & Lopes, D. (Eds.). (2013). Routledge Philosophy Companions : The Routledge Companion to Aesthetics (3). Florence, GB: Routledge. Retrieved from http://www.ebrary.com

Halberstam, J. (2011). RADAR Productions Book Club Presents: Judith Halberstam. Retrieved from https://vimeo.com/35588538.

Hoglund, J. (2014). The American Imperial Gothic: Popular Culture, Empire, Violence. Surrey, England: Ashgate Publishing Limited.

Lachman, G. (2015). The secret teachers of the western world. New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher-Penguin.

Lewin, N.A. (2009). Jung on War, Politics, and Nazi Germany: Exploring the Theory of Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious. London: Karnac Books Ltd.

Peaty, G. “Infected With Life: Neo-supernaturalism and the Gothic Zombie”. In Alder, E. and Wasson, S. (E.d.). Gothic Science Fiction: 1980 - 2010 (pp. 102-115). Liverpool: Liverpool University Press.

Stevens, A. (1990). On Jung. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press.

Filmography

Armisen, F., Brownstein, C. Krisel, J., and Oakley, B. (Writer). Krisel, J. (Director). (2013). Winter in Portlandia [Television series episode]. In F. Armisen, C. Brownstein, J. Krisel (Producers), Portlandia. Portland, OR: Broadway Video Entertainment.

Corson, H. (Writer). Scott, O. (Director). (2016) Dawn of the Dead [Televsion series episode]. In A. Blair and A. Fink (Producers), Louisiana: MTV Physical Production.

Fivaesh, C & Stoteraux, J. (Writers). Stover, G. (Director). (2014). The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get [Television series episode]. In K. Williamson et.al (Producers) Covington, Georgia: CBS Television Studios.

Petrie, D. (Writer), & Gomez-Rejon, A. (Director). (2013). The Seven Wonders [Television series episode]. In Falchuk, B. and Murphy, R. (Producers), American Horror Story: Coven, New Orleans, LA: FX Network.

Murphy, R. (Writer), & Gomez-Rejon, A. (Director). (2013). The Sacred Taking [Television series episode]. In Falchuk, B. and Murphy, R. (Producers), American Horror Story: Coven, New Orleans, LA: FX Network.

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