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kjmcotton · 1 year ago

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Ray of sunshine,the clouds are vanishing | ZHY

Zhang Yixing x fem!reader

Best friends to lovers!AU

Slow burn!AU

Plot:love can disappoint sometimes,but what if you find someone who shares the same wounds as yours? And what if that person is Zhang Yixing,the friend of a friend who randomly started hanging out with your group?

Warnings:cursing

This story is a request

Masterlist

Author’s notes:I was in the mood for a slow burn so here we are!! It took me a while to write and it’s pretty long,also a little bit cliché maybe,but I hope you enjoy it♡

Tumblr works with reposts:if you enjoyed my story please repost and leave a feedback! Help me growing!♡

“You light up the rooms you step in”

You were sitting on the sidewalk in front of the club you had just left. An half empty bottle of Soju standing a few inches away from your left leg as you were staring at an undefined point in front of you. You shivered:the short skirt and the fishnet thighs weren’t enough to protect you from the cold of the night,but you had no strength to get back inside the club. You didn’t want to see him again.

Your night was amazing until he appeared.

You were drinking,dancing and singing with your friends,having fun in trying to convince Lisa to hit on the cute guy she had put her eyes on at the beginning of the party. Everything was great,you didn’t have such an amazing time in a while until him,your ex-boyfriend,was so bold to talk to you as soon as he noticed you.

He appeared and grabbed you from behind,hitting on you like he had never cheated with a chick with fake lips and fake boobs. You felt like throwing up and,then,your night was ruined with a snap of fingers.

Mad,you slapped him and ran outside,without even seeing Sehun and Jongdae scolding him. You didn’t know what to do,you felt lost.

Suddenly,all that pain you had felt while breaking up rose inside you once again,with no mercy,ready to make your heart bleed for love.

Fuck him,fuck her and,most of all,fuck yourself for being so dumb to date a walking red flag when everyone had warned you.

You sighed,stroking your legs with your hands in hope to warm your skin;when,suddenly,someone covered you with their black jacket.

You turned around sure to see that asshole,but the only person that was there was Yixing,Baekhyun’s friend,who had started hanging out with your group a few months earlier.

“Take it” he said kindly,sitting next to you

“Thank you-you grabbed the bottle of Soju-you want some?” you asked

Yixing sipped from the object and then gave it back to you,watching as you threw the burning liquid down to your throat

“Slow down” he laughed,trying to stop you,but you pushed his hand away

“I need this. My night has been ruined” you mumbled

“I didn’t really understand why,to be honest”

“You saw the guy that approached me? That was my ex”

“Now I get it. That’s why Sehun and Jongdae snapped at him”

“Did they?”

“Yes. They were mad. Junmyeon and Minseok had to hold them back-Yixing giggled-you’re so lucky to have them. They’re great friends”

“I know. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for them. When I broke up with Sunghoon everything was pitch black. They were my light”

“Did he hurt you that much?” Yixing’s soft smile disappeared as soon as you talked

“He cheated on me for six months. In a relationship of one year, half of it was a lie. I think he’s the person who hurt me the most.I pushed all my fears aside for him and gave him my heart only to find out that he stopped caring about me before I could even notice” you sighed,drinking more Soju. You were having an hard time holding back your tears.

Yixing noticed and slid closer to comfort you, caressing your back

“I hope you know that wasn’t your fault” he then said,softly

“I know now,but back then I didn’t. I felt like I deserved nothing. If I’ve changed my mind is thanks to my friends:they sticked with me,supported me and helped me seeing myself in the way I had to. However,Sunghun still haunts me sometimes. I was so happy with him,I thought he was the one”

“There are many potential ones out there,don’t focus on an idiot. I’m saying that because I got cheated on as well,so I know how it feels”

“Really?! What a bitch. You’re such a nice guy,you don’t deserve a similar a treatment!”

“Neither you do,but it happened. The most important thing is that we both know that it’s none of our fault,but theirs”

“You’re absolutely right Yixing” you smiled.

You didn’t expect that such a short chat could lead the two of you to a beautiful friendship:you slowly started opening up with Yixing,exchanging messages all day and talking about everything;even Sunghoon who,suddenly,started looking for you again.

It disturbed you a lot. You had healed in the past months,but not enough to face him again. The truth was that you had been hoping to never see him after breaking up. You wanted to re-start building your life;so,seeing his lost calls and texts unsettled you a lot,pushing you closer and closer to Yixing as he seemed the one who could fully understand the situation.

“Why don’t you block him?” the boy asked,sitting in front of you as he sipped his coffee

“I can’t” you mumbled,resting your chin on the palm of your hand

“Why? You said you don’t wanna have anything to do with him”

“Which is true…”

“But?”

“No buts” you sighed,Yixing giggled

“May I tell you what I think,y/n?”

At those words you nodded

“I think that you’re still in love with that asshole”

“I’m not!”

“Then block him” your friend rested his back against the chair

“No…”

“Seen it? That’s my point”

You rolled your eyes and scratched the back of your head:maybe Yixing was right;maybe,deep down,you were still a little bit in love with Sunghoon,but it didn’t imply giving him a second chance,that was another reason why you ran away when you saw him at the club.

“What am I supposed to do Yixing? Please help me,I’m so tired. I was feeling better,so why did he have to come back?” you hid your face with your hands,holding back your tears.

Why was your life so hard? Why couldn’t you be living happily for once? You constantly had to face troubles and problems without even looking for them. You had enough.

“You already know what to do,y/n:stay with your friends,enjoy the good things of your day and focus on yourself until you’ll meet someone who values you for the amazing person that you are” the boy smiled and hugged you. Your face sank in the crook of his neck,your nostrils got filled with his sweet cologne. Your stomach tingled for a second at that nice sensation,but you were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t even notice it.

“Don’t tell our friends he’s texting me again. You saw how they got mad,I don’t want any drama to happen”

“My mouth is shut,key thrown to the sharks-he giggled-but you gotta block him. Promise me you’ll do it”

“I will”

“Then let’s have fun together so you can forget Sunghoon”

Said so,Yixing started organising regular evenings out with the whole group:you would eat together,go clubbing,try fun activities like climbing and even organise movie nights.

Besides that,when your friends were busy with their jobs and couldn’t join you,Yixing would always find some free time to spend with you,even if it meant only having a coffee together.

That was why you grew fond of him,developing a soft spot in your heart that made you consider Yixing your best friend. The same happened to him. He had to admit that,even tho he had a lot of friends,no one made him feel as good as you did:you were his ray of sunshine,the person he would look for when he needed positive vibes,that someone who would listen to him and support him through the hardest moments,making the clouds vanish.

The more time flew,the more you two became close. You met everyday,letting your inner children come out and fully heal in each other presence.

“Let’s do this!” you grabbed Yixing,dragging him towards the shooting game of the arcade you had decided to visit that night.

“Killing zombies sounds fun!-he laughed,grabbing the VR headset-let me help you with this” he then smiled,tucking the lace at the back of your head.

His fingers accidentally stroked against your cheeks while he was placing the object on your eyes:it sent shivers along your spine. Yixing’s touch was always so gentle and delicate,it made you feel safe and well treated. A little smile unconsciously appeared on your lips.

“Why are you smiling now?” your friend asked

“What? Oh,nothing,I’m just having fun”

“The game hasn’t started yet” Yixing laughed,grabbing his VR

“I know but I’m having a great time tonight. It’s been a while since I came here at the arcade. I missed it,this was my favourite place when I was younger”

“Then we’ll come back soon”

Those words widened your smile even more;then,once the zombie game had finished,you moved to the next one:the Pump it up game. You were surprised it was still there.

“This one! I wanna dance,it’s always been my favourite”

“Let’s go then,I’ll beat your ass!” Yixing exclaimed,placing himself on the platform.

The two of you chose the song,a Michael Jackson one to make things harder but funnier,and started dancing…if that was how you could call what you two were up to.

To be honest,all you did was pushing each other to make the other hit a lower score:

“Are you that scared to lose?! Really?!” Yixing taunted you,blocking your hands with his:you melted noticing how his touch was,once again,extremely careful with you. He treated you like you were a precious jewel,which warmed your heart.

“You are scared to lose!” you bit back,laughing,and trying to push him away

“I’m a dancer,there’s no way I’ll lose!”

“I’m better than you in this game,I’m sure!”

“Oh,yeah,I see! That’s why you’re sabotaging me right now”

“That’s not true!” you kept on laughing and pushing,until,by accident,you slipped and lost your balance.

“Ouch!” you exclaimed,falling,but,luckily,your body never touched the ground as Yixing laid in and held you tight.

“You okay?” he demanded,concerned

“I’m-I’m fine” you blushed:his arms were wrapped around your waist while your chest was against his. You could feel both his heartbeat and his warm breath on your skin.

You bit your lips:what was happening? Why,all of a sudden,you were feeling so odd? Something that you couldn’t tell was going on inside you while being so close to him. Your stomach twitched and sparkled while your legs were shaking. You didn’t want to lean back and stand on your own feet,you wanted Yixing to be that close forever.

“So…that’s the reason why you stopped answering to my texts,isn’t it?” A familiar voice made you startle and push the brunette away.

“What are you doing here?!” You asked,shocked as Sunghoon was standing right in front of you. Right hand in his pocket,soft black hair framing his beautiful features. You felt like the ground beneath your feet was missing.

“Texts? What is he talking about?” Yixing furrowed his eyebrows

“I can explain!” you exclaimed,grabbing his arm. Sunghoon laughed:

“Yeah,explain everything to your boyfriend. Come on,I wanna listen”

“He’s not my boyfriend,asshole! And tell me why you’re here! Are you stalking me now? Wasn’t text bombing and calling me everyday enough?!” you growled

“You answered so I just texted. I don’t seen anything wrong with it” Sunghoon shrugged his shoulder. His cocky attitude was getting on your nerves.

“Why did you answer him? You said you would’ve blocked him” Yixing’s face was marked by an expression of disappointment

“I should have,I know,but I didn’t;however I told him to stop texting and calling,I did it multiple times. I swear Yixing”

“If you didn’t want to text me you would’ve blocked me like the dude said”

“Shut the fuck up Sunghoon!”

“Yeah,you heard her:shut the fuck up” Yixing stepped closer to the boy,who obviously didn’t back up

“Who are you to tell me what to do?”

“Yixing,please,no drama” you ran towards him,holding him back. The boy’s attitude softened as soon as you touched him;so he breathed in and recomposed himself.

“How did you find me?” you asked again to your ex

“I saw the story you posted. I was around so I thought I could come say hi” he smirked

“You’re fucked up” you mumbled,shocked

“You said hi,now go home” Yixing butted in the conversation, wrapping one of his arms around your shoulder. You scanned his movements,realising that there was a new shift in his attitude:he clearly had something in his mind so you just let him talk.

“Or what?” Sunghoon threatened the guy

“Or you’ll get kicked out. Let my girlfriend alone as she told you to do. I don’t repeat myself.”

“Girlfriend? For fuck sake is he your boyfriend or not?”

You were about to talk but Yixing gently hit your shoulder,meaning to let him handle the situation,so you did.

“I am,and you’re ruining our nice date” he spat out.

Sunghoon glared at him,then his eyes met yours:

“Is he lying?” he demanded,leaning in

You were sweating:you knew that the best thing to do to get our from that awful situation was following Yixing’s lead,but you were so scared of Sunghoon that words wouldn’t come out from your mouth.

“Step back” your friend put his arm between you and the guy whose eyes shifted again,leaning on Yixing

“You aren’t his boyfriend,are you? You’re just trying to get rid of me”

Yixing’s jaw clenched:he was getting extremely mad,you could tell from the veins of his neck popping out. It was sexy for sure,but it was also scary.

“I’ll show you then” the brunette spat out,turning to you.

Suddenly,you found your face a few inches away from you friend’s. His eyes chained to yours as his fingers stroked your cheek,resting on your chin. Your heart started beating fast,shivers crossed your spine,then the space between you and Yixing was set to zero.

When you lips met, the world stopped spinning. Everything froze,the only thing you could feel was Yixing’s sweet taste of mint bubblegum. He kissed you slowly,delicately. The arm wrapped around your shoulder tightened his grip a little bit as he used it to push you closer,while, with one of his hands,he tilted your head on the side. His lips moved back and forward,sweetly biting yours,mixing your salivas.

Your hands rested on his chest,gripping the cloth of his jacket,while your lower abdomen started tingling as you pushed it against the boy’s. You had completely lost control of your body,but you liked it:it had been a while since you felt like that.

You were completely lost in the moment,same was Yixing who would’ve never let you go if Sunghoon didn’t remind him of his presence with a loud cough.

“I’m his boyfriend and you gotta get out of here…now!” the brunette exclaimed,hiding his short breath.

Sunghoon glared at him,fire burning in his eyes:

“You’ll see me around,asshole” he growled

“I hope not for your safety. I’m not always this gentle with dickheads like you”

You watched as your ex left from the entrance door,feeling relieved.

“God” you mumbled while hiding your face in your hands

“He’s gone” Yixing dragged you into a new hug that you couldn’t reject,in fact you let yourself sink into it.

“Thankfully. I-I thought we needed to call the cops for a second” your voice was breaking as holding back your tears was hard

“It’s okay y/n,I’ve got you-Yixing said stroking your back-shall we go home?” he then asked,you nodded.

The next day you blocked Sunghoon everywhere,hoping that finally you would’ve lived a quite life…but nothing like that was about to happen.

There was one more thing that couldn’t let you sleep at night:Yixing’s kiss. It had been magical,you couldn’t deny it…and you couldn’t deny that the boy was as lost into it as you were.

“Fuck” you blushed,covering your face with the sheets of your bed. Why were you feeling like that? Like a little,vulnerable kid? You were so confused and,at the same time,so eager to meet Yixing again.

You wanted to see his smile,feel his fingers linger on your skin,giving you those little pleasing shivers and lighting up the sparkles in your stomach.

Wait…were you in love with Yixing? That Yixing,your best friend?!

“It can’t be possible!-you exclaimed,sitting-it can’t be!” you sighed.

Right in that moment, your phone rang and,as if it wasn’t enough,the one calling was the person you had been thinking about.

“Hi” you spoke calmly. You couldn’t let him know what was going in on in your mind.

“Wanna have breakfast together?” Yixing asked

“I’d love that,I’ll get ready. Where are we meeting?”

“At your place. I’ll pick you up. See you in a bit” the brunette didn’t even give you the chance to talk as he turned the call off.

Fastly,you got ready and then jumped in your friend’s car once he had arrived. You had breakfast in a nice café in Hongdae;the streets were already flowing with people even tho it was only 8:00am.

“How are you doing today?” Yixing asked while biting his croissant

“I’m doing better,thank your for asking” you smiled

“I’m great to hear that. I’ve been pretty worried. I don’t want you to suffer again for that idiot”

“I’m doing fine,really. I just got scared yesterday,I told you,but luckily you were there” without even thinking about it,you were looking for his hand to hold.

Yixing blushed as soon as your hands touched,but he didn’t try to shrug yours off,otherwise he held it back

“You mean the world to me. No one will make you suffer,not as long as I am around”

His eyes were chained to yours,a sweet light shining in their pupils:you didn’t know in which way he meant those words,but they made you skip a beat.

“T-Thank you…” you murmured,lowering your gaze. You wanted to giggle and kick your feet like a teenager girl,but you couldn’t.

Yixing smiled and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear:he was looking at you with those puppy eyes that made you melt.

“Anyway-he coughed,recomposing himself-do you wanna go to the cinema tonight?”

“Tonight?” you blinked

“Yeah. I mean…hum…there’s a nice movie”

“What is it?”

“I-I don’t remember the title right now,but you can find it out by coming along”

You laughed:was there a real movie to watch or he just wanted to see you again? You didn’t care. You nodded and accepted the invitation,spending the whole day thinking about it.

As soon as you got back from work you ran to your bedroom,picking out the nicest dress you had in your wardrobe;then you moved on to your makeup,putting mascara and eye-liner on. The last time you worried so much about your appearance it was during one of the first dates with Sunghoon. That fact made you think even more:were you actually in love with Zhang Yixing? Damn if you were. You had lost it for that guy,for his eyes,his smile and,most of all,the way he treated you. You felt like a princess anytime he was around:he cared about you,paid attention to your well being and did everything he could for you to have a good time.

“Yixing,what did you do to me!” you sighed,hearing your door bell ringing:it was him for sure.

You ran downstairs and met the boy,who drove you to the cinema. You weren’t sure if Yixing actually chose the movie you saw or if he randomly picked one up just to cover his nice little lie,but you didn’t care anyway as you were too busy laughing with him and leaning onto him anytime he whispered something to your hear. You didn’t do it on purpose,your body was naturally attracted to the boy…and so was your mind.

Once the movie had finished the two of you went for a night walk,no one wanted to go home.

It was past midnight of a cold Saturday night. You were wrapped up in your coat,but apparently it wasn’t enough for you to stay warm

“I hate winter” you mumbled,sliding your hand in the pockets

“You’re always so cold-Yixing giggled,wrapping an arm around your shoulder to hold you close-better?” he demanded

“Better” you laughed.

The silence fell for a few seconds:you could see the boy staring at you under the dim light of the moon,a little smile on his lips

“Why are you smiling?” you demanded

“Am I?”

“Yeah” you nodded

“I think it’s your presence. You light up the rooms you step in”

“Oh come on,that’s too much” you laughed

“That’s not. I really believe it. No one is like you,and I must be favoured to know you”

At those words your cheeks heated up:thank God it was dark so he couldn’t see how you turned into a fresh tomato

“I could say the same of you. I’ve never been so happy before meeting you”

Without even noticing,the two of you had stopped walking and were standing face to face

“I can make you happy everyday if you let me”

“W-what?” those words caught you off guard

“You heard. Why would I keep on staying silent? I think it’s clear,isn’t it?”

“W-what do you mean?”

Was he getting there? Was he about to say what you had in mind? Oh God,make it happen—you thought

“Don’t pretend you haven’t noticed it,I know you did. I never really tried to hide it,maybe at the beginning,but not in the past weeks-Yixing paused for a moment-I love you y/n. I don’t know how it happened:maybe it was because we shared the same experiences,or maybe because I found someone that listened to me and understood me,or maybe it’s just you and the way you are…cuz you’re beautiful y/n,both inside and out. You’re the ray of sunshine I’ve been looking for during the past years and I wanna keep it with me for as long as it wants to stay…so,y/n,would you like to warm me for a while? Maybe forever if we’re meant to be?” Yixing grabbed your cold hands,holding them and dragging you closer. Your noses were a few inches away from each other. Once again,you could feel his warm breath against your skin

“I do,Yixing:I would love to be your ray of sunshine” you smiled

At those words Yixing’s hands cupped your cheeks and his lips met yours:once again sparkles lit up in your stomach and you lower back tingled.

Maybe it was finally time:maybe you had found the person that would’ve given you the unconditional love you deserved.

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f1-disaster-bi · 4 months ago

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omg i just sent an ask about norstappen sorry to be back so soon but i was scrolling through the tag on your blog and for those word prompts you were doing you posted a snippet of the blind au w charles/lando and i just what to tell you that that fic haunted me!!!!! i read it on ao3, enjoyed it, and continued to browse ao3 and then like a week or two later it appeared in my mind again and i could not stop thinking about it!!! it was haunting me all i wanted to do was reread it and i tried so many different tags and i remembered arthur was in it so i tried look through his tag too but i could not find it!!!!! and then randomly i was rereading your little book of us or the whumptumber collection and there it was!!! such a happy moment i had given up at that point and was just reading normally, but it was just as good as i remembered!!!! just wanted to pass along my praise and tell you that it managed to permenantely implant itself in my brain (and i always remember where it is when i want to reread now haha), thank you it’s so good!!!

Oh, I love that you love that little drabble I wrote 🥺🥺

For you - this is the little drabble I wrote for it!

However I did start an actual WIP for this au! If I ever get around to finishing it (which I hope I do), it's set directly after the accident with Lando waking up and being unable to see, and how he navigates recovering from it and the strain it has on him and Charles. How he adjusts to coming home, how they both adjust to it, all the the bruises Lando gets during those first few weeks and how Charles kisses them away. How he gets Daisy, and just yeah.

I really want to expand this au and write more of it 🥺

#blind lando au #charlando #charles/lando #lando/charles

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silkjade · 10 months ago

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JADE! do you have any wedding dress visions for you and your faves?? ૮꒰⸝⸝> ̫ <⸝⸝꒱ა💕

OF COURSEEEE I DO !!!!! omg tysm gray for asking cus this was in my head for the longest time ‘n i didn’t know how to share HAHAH anyways wheeeee jadetham wedding ૮꒰ྀི •̀⩊•́ ꒱ྀིა !

to preface: we do have a wedding planned but i get stressed out wanting it to be perfect, so we randomly decide to elope and take the pressure off before going thru with the actual wedding a couple months later ! t’was a very “i wish i didn’t have to deal with this” followed by a “so don’t. marry me right now.” vry rushed n spontaneous (and i am the least spontaneous person i know mind you so ! i must ! luv him vry much !) so only our closest friends help set things up n since my real dress has yet to arrive from fontaine, nilou and dehya help me get ready ^^ and the dress is probably just a costume borrowed from zubayr theatre troupe, but the final look is very secret garden wedding, such is that i really wanted it to have the vibes of romeo/juliet , rhaegar/lyanna elopement weddings ♡

&& the “actual” wedding takes place in the sanctuary of surasthana, and the atmosphere is meant to be crystalline n misty like morning dewdrops — so ethereal, that it is a bit haunting ! so the dress must be flow-y + ghostly n i luv the sharp corset top it reminds me of some of the sumeru designs hehe aaaa like just thinking about appearing around the corner n walking down the aisle to the sanctuary’s ost makes me so (𖦹﹏𖦹;) ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

(dresses are from kim kassas s2023 & galia lahav s2020)

#⋆.༦࿑ོ⁺ 𓂃 𝓳𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓶 #um.. clearly i got carried away ….. whops :’D #✧ mutuals — ꒰ gray ꒱#— 𝓪𝓼𝓴𝓼

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phanfictioncatalogue · 9 months ago

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Hello! What are your favorite getting-together/first kiss fics?

Honestly, this could go on for a while. So I’m going with first thing that comes to mind. There’s a lot of chaptered fics that include getting together/first kiss, but I’m just putting purely getting together/first kiss for brevity’s sakes. Other admins feel free to add!

A Dance With Death (ao3) - worriedpeach (skeletonflowers)

Summary: Dan is the God of Death, who helps people to the Underworld when they pass. One day, he randomly pops up at a masquerade ball for Prince Philip's coming of age ceremony. He doesn't know why he is there, but it's hard to focus on his job when the prince asks him to dance.

All Signs Point to Us (ao3) - RyRyCaptain

Summary: When the queen and king gives birth to Daniel, they soon learn that their son is deaf. In order to let Dan express his opinions to those who haven't learned sign language, they find him a translator who happens to be the son of the King’s advisor, Phil. Soon enough, Phil starts to realize thAt he fallen in love with the younger boy.

blanket of stars (ao3) - silentdescant

Summary: “That’s all for now, thank you.”

“I’ll be back to check on you in a bit.”

The whole script is so routine, Phil thinks his brain would short-circuit if either of them deviated from it. Dan walks away and Phil sinks lower in his seat, sighing into his blue drink.

“When are you gonna ask him out, man?” Martyn asks.

can't help the itch to touch- to kiss. (ao3) - thescienceofphan

Summary: Phil is Deaf and Dan sleeps around a lot. So when people see them together, they worry about Phil’s emotional well being and shame on Dan for preying on a deaf boy, but it’s not like that. Not at all.

(or an AU where deaf!phil and playboy!dan are best friends and people think they’re dating)

Graveyard (ao3) - Tidbitswithtoby

Summary: "You're bringing me lunch in a graveyard?"

"Sounded more romantic in my head."

Love Scenario (ao3) - worriedpeach (skeletonflowers)

Summary: When Phil first saw him in the spring, he thought he looked like bubblegum.

Neighbourly Nook (ao3) - wednesday_ukiru

Summary: The stranger had a dimple on his cheek that appeared when he laughed.

“I’m Dan,” he said, extending his hand. Phil reached for it with extreme eagerness, their knuckles knocking together in a particularly painful way, and they both winced, but Dan immediately broke into a smile. “I don’t know why I offered you a handshake, I never know how to do them.”

Soft and Scared (ao3) - Phandiction

Summary: Scared!Dan is guilted by a friend to enter a haunted house

Phil doesn't want to hurt anyone but is guilted by a friend to terrify people in a haunted house. He feels horrible when Dan's friends leave him there to cry on the floor after the scare and comfort ensues.

The World Going By My Window (ao3) - CaibrynM

Summary: Dan is a reluctant Crown Prince, always watching the world outside his window and wondering what else is out there. As he walks through the village outside the Castle walls one day, he meets a quirky villager with a passion for nature, an oddly constructed house, and a secretive past.

Things That No Longer Need Mention (ao3) - abriata

Summary: The kissing doesn’t stop.

Two weeks later, Dan has a hand in Phil’s hair and Phil’s hand on his spine and he basically can’t feel his mouth anymore, and they were supposed to have left for the BBC ten minutes ago.

Dan still has no idea why Phil is doing the kissing thing, but it’s definitely too late to ask now.

too loud in public (ao3) - dizzy, waveydnp

Summary: dan is too busy snogging a cute stranger named phil in a closet at a university party to realize the cops are about to break it up

VETSCO à gogo (ao3) - sierraadeux

Summary: The guy is just really hot, and maybe Dan’s also a bit concerned he’s going to fall with all the times he’s watched him wiggle and wobble on seemingly unsteady limbs. He never does, or at least he hasn’t yet, but Dan would like to think he’s got his back if he ever does.

the twitch streamer who just can't seem to get his roller skating neighbor out of his mind

we have more in common than i thought (ao3) - manicpixieidiot

Summary: bad boy!dan has a bit of a secret crush on nerd!phil, and when grouped with him in class he uses the opportunity to convince him to come to a party. (what happens next will shock you!!) (not really, no shocks don't worry)

featuring a latin class, a party, becky&jessica, flustered drunk boys. and more softness than intended.

Lmao this is the quick list

-Rae

#answered #anonymous #found #not found #recs

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missdefying · 2 years ago

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Good Bones

A few years ago, we had our house remodeled.

Shortly after, the dog started to scratch and bark at the wall randomly.

youtube

At first, I thought maybe the new A/C was leaking down into the wall since the unit was pretty much directly above where he barked.

So I went up to the EXTREMELY hot attic...in summer time...in Central Texas. I was up there for at least 20 minutes, soaked from sweat, and so thirsty.

I looked for evidence of a leak, animals, structural issues.

But there was nothing at all.

A few days went by and he started scratching and barking at the same place again. So I went up into the attic…again.

And there was still nothing. Not even a smell to indicate mildew or animals.

A few weeks went by and he kept it up. didn’t matter if it was day or night, if the A/C was on or not.

Now, a couple months before, I kept finding dead bees in my office. Like a lot. Every single day, there would be at least 3 or 4…

…but only in my office. which was on the opposite side of the house from the A/C.

Like any good horror writer, I began to cook up stories about the bees before the thing-in-the-wall incident...

until I watched a show where some people had a whole ass bee hive in their walls.

So I grabbed my stethoscope and sat it next to the couch, waiting for the dog to go over and scratch again.

A couple of days went by, and he finally did.

So I put the scope up next to the wall, shushed the dog, held my breath, and listened...

Now, if you’ve followed me for a few years, you might remember how I used to talk about something very big walking on my roof.

I even got up there at one point to look for evidence of what it could have been.

I never did find out what liked to walk across my roof. It was way too big to be a squirrel and the footfalls were too heavy to be a bird or cat.

But I know what a person walking on a roof sounds like, and that was it.

I just didn’t know WHO or HOW they got up there. So anyway, I'm listening with my stethoscope.

And I heard those same footsteps on the roof.

But I also heard something else. Talking.

Not whispering.

Talking.

So I pulled the stethoscope from the wall and listened.

I couldn't hear it anymore, so I took the stethoscope out of my ears...

…and still couldn’t hear it.

The dog started going crazy at this point, so I gave up. Eventually, I went to bed, trying to make sense of what I heard.

The chimney was about 12 feet away, so maybe people were outside and the sound was coming from the chimney.

But that didn’t explain why the dog was scratching at that spot and not closer to the chimney. Again, if you’ve been following me for a while you know I used to be a data scientist.

So naturally, I collected data. Times, weather, temperature, whether the A/C was on, how many dead bees were in my office.

I didn't find any time correlation, but I also didn’t know if whatever it was haunted my walls while I slept since the dog stayed locked in the bedroom.

I did find a correlation with bees though. On the days there was sound in the walls, more dead bees appeared the next day.

So I researched. Bears, birds, and raccoons are all bee predators.

We don't have bears around here, but I did have plenty of birds and raccoons sniffing around outside the house.

So, I decided it must be that. Birds are noisy in walls, so I made up my mind that it must be a raccoon.

I explained away the talking I heard.

Until the dog got mean.

He wasn’t scratching and barking at the walls any more. The hair on his back stood up, he perked up his ears, and let go a growl I'll never forget.

He didn’t even growl like that when he found snakes in the backyard, or when one contractor that he absolutely hated came to work.

Whatever was on the other side of that wall, he wanted to rip it to shreds. He was salivating so much, I worried he’d become rabid, despite having all his vaccinations.

I finally pulled him away from the wall because he was carving marks in it, and dragged him to the bedroom and closed him in.

He fought like hell the whole way.

I got my stethoscope again and listened.

The dog was barking his head off the entire time, but luckily the bedroom was far enough away I could still make out what I was hearing.

Words again. An argument. “Don’t listen”. “Lied”. “Cheated”.

“I smelled it”.

MY words. In MY voice.

The other voice? My now ex-husband.

We were arguing in the walls.

He wasn’t even home. He wasn’t outside.

There was no denying that the voices weren’t other people outside. The words didn’t even sound familiar….

Not until a few weeks later, when we were arguing.

I realized I was repeating the same words. I tried to change the argument up, use different words, but we both stuck to what I'd heard in the walls, no matter how hard I tried.

That's when I knew I was hearing the future in that wall. Or maybe the wall was dictating the future.

I don't know.

All I know is we sold the house in the divorce. It’s been sold at least 2 times in just over 2 years.

No one stays for long. Even our old neighbors have all moved.

We both knew something was weird about that house when we started fixing it up to move in.

The previous couple sold because of a divorce, so we just chalked it up to bad energy and saged the space.

But I know now that it wasn’t just bad energy. Something lived and fed in that house.

Something that drained me of energy so badly I became severely depressed to the point I sought help.

Something that fed on bees. Something that instigated arguments. Something that manipulated us.

#horror #scary stories

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jonnnysuh · 3 years ago

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rating svt on how haunted they'd be

A/N: this was originally "how I would haunt svt" BUT I wanted to rate them, so keep the original idea in mind while you read it I guess.

Series Masterlist

—S COUPS 3/10 his ghost can only do mundane shit like turn the lights on and off. Even tho it's such a lil thing, he checks behind himself every time he enters a room.

—JEONGHAN 10/10 You think Jeonghan comes up with all that devious shit on his own??? His ghost is whispering in his ears and telling him what to do

—JOSHUA 1.5/10 could be like “I forgot my bag upstairs” and his ghost would float his things down to him. Domestic vibes <3

—JUN 5/10 summoned the ghost himself bro. He was feeling a little bit lonely so he brought out the Ouija board for fun. “Ghostie, if you’re really here, drop something” and when his bottle of lotion hits the ground, he’s at peace, smiling to himself.

—HOSHI 4/10 his ghost stands in the corner of the room and does not do anything unless provoked. Any time he refers to himself as tiger? His mouth gets covered. Horanghae anti.

—WONWOO ??8 maybe?/10 the trajectory of his life completely changed bc he saw ONE pillow randomly floating in the air. Now he's a paranormal investigator on youtube. Offers all the ghosts he meets crackers and then LAUGHS and calls them foolish when they take the bait.

—WOOZI 10/10 his evil ghost possesses him every so often to try and make him produce a terrible song AND THEN unposesses him in the middle of presenting it to people. Also makes him play chopsticks on the piano for 7 hours straight.

—DK 6/10 his ghost lifts him by the armpits and flies him around town weeeeee. DK is now Seventeen's resident grocery fetcher.

—MINGYU 10/10 the only explanation for this man's clumsiness is that he is perpetually getting dunked on by a ghost. There can be no other reason.

—THE8 7/10 walks into a room, feels bad vibes and immediately burns sage. The ghost returns to see if he's serious about hating it 😪 and if he banished it again???? It would leave him for good 🥺

—SEUNGKWAN 2/10 is afraid of it at first, but learns to love it. His ghost folds clothes, sets up his tooth brush, makes sure his slippers are always by his bed. Seungkwan fogs up his mirror with his breath and writes "ily" to show appreciation. The ghost writes "ILY2". Lowkey his guardian.

—VERNON 47/10 haunts his dreams. It continuously shows up and makes him relive their childhood memories with them. When it physically appears in a crowd, it creates a breaking feeling in his chest bc are they real? Or are they just a figment of his imagination?

—DINO 12/10 gets haunted with a Chucky doll. He thinks one of the members set it up in his room so he laughs it off BUT it keeps showing up in random places. "Guys stop messing with me" and yet no one will fess up to it. Dino’s breaking point is when the Chucky doll is sitting in his shower and it laughs exactly like him

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purelyfiction · 3 years ago

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Haunted

James Bond x (F) Reader

Word Count: 6901 words

Summary: You’ve been seeing this guy, on and off semi-casually for some time now. He’s the first person you’ve ever felt like had good intentions. Until he ghosts you out of the blue. So, when the breadcrumbs appear, leading to dark discoveries and wild endeavors, you can’t help but think of how the experience will leave you haunted.

Triggers: Skyfall spoiler (idk if it’s considered a spoiler the movie’s been out for for like 7 years), cursing, smoking (cigars), death mention, canon typical violence, canon typical injuries, kidnapping, violence, mention of abuse to reader, adult content (oral female receiving)

Author Note: this was by no means supposed to be as long as it is but - hell you’re welcome. shoutout to @mrskenobi19 and @flowerniche for all the beta-reading and feedback!

It’s nearly 2 AM when you get home from your shift at the bar. You always told your boss you wanted nothing to do with the last call crowd. So, you’re home and surprisingly find your roommate awake. “What in the - do you ever fucking sleep?” You scold, seeing her at the kitchen counter, phone pressed against her ear. She holds a finger to her lips, tapping away at her laptop.

“Yes. I know. Thanks.” Eve then hangs up the phone looking at you. “I do, thanks. My boss had something come up that she needed me to handle.” She shrugs.

“At 2 in the morning?” You give her a quizzical look, searching for anything that might suggest she’s hiding something.

“I- Yeah.” The brunette turns to her coffee cup before looking at you, seeing something weighing on your mind. “Alright, pop a squat. What’s going on in that brain of yours?” She asks, pouring you a cup of coffee. You slink into the barstool, dropping your phone to the counter and taking the mug when Eve sends it over.

“I just saw way too many happy couples at the bar tonight. I’m thinking I’m going to be single for the rest of my life.” You shrug, messing with the mug and she frowns.

“What? What happened to the last guy?” She wouldn’t tell you, but she was wondering what happened to the guy she’d heard such great things about every time you came from his place.

“Eve, that was like 6 months ago. He was a psycho.” You retort, finally taking a sip of your coffee. Once your throat is clear you look at her. “Besides, he’s not the one I’m hung up on.” You offer and her face rises in surprise.

“There was another one? Why didn’t you tell me?” There’s a bit of amusement in her features but it shuts down when she sees your reaction.

“It... didn’t last long? I met him randomly one night. We hung out maybe four times-”

“Hung out or fucked?” She asks for clarification as she sips at her cup. You squint your eyes at her. “Answer the question.”

“We fucked like.. two out of four times.” It feels like you shrink at the admission. “But that’s not why! God Eve, he was so kind. He was a gentleman, he took me to some crazy good restaurants, had such great taste in alcohol, not to mention the sex. Our conversations... We talked about everything. There wasn’t anything I couldn’t tell him.” When you look at her, Eve looks distracted. “What now?”

“Where did you say you met this guy?” She asks curiously.

“....A bar.” You confess.

“What type of bar?”

“A cigar bar...” You retreat when you speak and Eve starts to laugh, scolding you with your name. “What!”

“Are you sure this guy wasn’t married? No man exists like this unless they’re already taken.” She jokes, looking at you. “Anyways. What happened? Where’s he now?”

You give an angry huff. “Fuck if I know. We talked nearly every day until one day he just - disappeared. His apartment was empty, his neighbors hadn’t heard from him, his phone always went to voicemail.” Slinking back in your chair, your roommate looks at you.

“When was this?”

“Like... three months ago.” You’ve gotten up by now, moving to your room to get out of your bar clothes. Once you’ve changed and come back to your seat, Eve seems to be doing math in her head. “What are you doing?” You question.

“Tell me more about this guy. Was he older?”

“Yes...”

“How old?”

“I don’t know Eve, I never asked.”

“What did he do for work?”

“He said he was in life insurance?”

“What did he look like? What was his name?”

You’re getting frustrated at this interrogation. “I don’t know, broad? Muscular for a man his age? Blonde hair, blue eyes, stoic. Well dressed? I- what the hell Eve?”

“What was his name?” She repeats the question. You cross your arms, shaking your head.

“Why does it matter? What are you going to do? Stalk him and make him apolog-”

“Was it James?” You freeze, your accusatory attitude falling. There’s a part of you wanting to take a step back.

“How did you know that?” Eve sighs and closes her eyes, a hand running over her features. The room grows quiet. “E…” You warn, before she’s looking at you with apathetic features.

“I worked with him.”

“Worked? You don’t work in life insurance…” Eve’s typing on her computer, pulling up a photo and turning the laptop to face you. There sits a photo of the very man you’d been talking to.

“He um… he passed away three months ago, hon.” She begins. “It was… unexpected.” Suddenly the woman in front of you seemed to disappear, in her place: a stranger.

“He’s not dead. How did he die.” It’s meant to be a question but it feels like you’re demanding an answer standing there.

“I… I don’t know. He didn’t have any family. All I know was that my boss sent us all an email. He stopped coming into work. It was weird. Everyone liked him, he was a very personable guy.” She drifts off and you look at her.

“What the hell aren’t you telling me?” You take a step to her and she looks at you with soft eyes. You’re nearly chest to chest with her now. “Eve. How did he die.”

“I… I can’t tell you.” The floor creaks under you when you step back looking at her. It feels like there’s a fire burning through you. Maybe it’s the fuel that’s pushing through you as you grab your coat and head out the door.

It’s not ‘til you hit the street that you realize this jacket isn’t yours. It’s James’. He’d let you borrow it when he took you home the last time you were together. Brown leather that seems to cloak you. His cologne still lingers on it and it just adds to the tears in your vision as you instinctively walk the five blocks it takes to get to the bus stop. You can remember the smile on his face each time he picked you up. The way he felt wrapped up around you while you stood at a local bar, live music playing and swaying, dancing to it for the rest of the night. His breath on your neck, the smell of sweat, vodka and vermouth. Telling you the best cigar he’d ever had, sat on the coast of Cuba itself at an international insurance convention. A Cuban, in Cuba with his signature martini in hand. How was it that the one man you’d ever connected with… ever fallen so fast for, was dead?

The bus nears the cigar bar closer and closer with each stop. Each stop you can nearly feel the smoke fill your lungs, the taste lingering and distracting you from the maddening thoughts of work, of life. The feeling of James’ chest breathing out as you sit back in his lap, listening to stories that he’d heard from work. The crazy shit people did. Your favorite was the poker player who’d been poisoned. Nearly died at the casino but was revived just in time.

“The medics said he was so incomprehensibly sweaty, the charge pads nearly didn’t stick to him.”

His voice is so clear in your head. His touch. His smell.

You’re crying over a man you knew all of three months. Tears linger as you get off the bus, the driver asking if you’re alright. There’d been no response. Just the gasp of air that shakes through you as you sit on the sidewalk, trying to pull yourself together. You feel like you can’t breathe, that this was some cruel joke. It wasn’t fair. To James. To you. To the universe who had to go on without the man.

It takes you about five minutes to peel yourself from the cement and calm yourself enough to get to the cigar bar. When you do, the owner, Geoff, nearly runs to your side with a bottle of water, sitting down with you and getting you situated. When you’re finally calm, he cuts a cigar and brings it over to you, saying it’s ‘on him’.

The craving is put to rest when the cigar is on your lips. A deep breath in, held for a moment, letting the nicotine fill your bloodstream. Music fills the bar, a piano ballad about some sort of broken hearted sap. It seems fitting to your mood. You linger in it until the song abruptly ends. Instead, the introduction to The Show Must Go On by Queen is replaced instead. Annoyance fills you as you rise from your seat, moving to the pay to play jukebox in the corner of the room. As you approach, you’re already ready to curse this bastard out of the bar. Until you see the martini glass in his hand. Your heart falls from it’s broken mess, into your stomach. Oh does Eve have some explaining to do.

Your feet nearly run you to his side, uncapping the bottle of water in your hand and flinging it at the male’s face as he turns to face you. A grumble of a curse, peeling his jacket off and using it to wipe at his face. When he retreats, blue eyes meet yours. “Three months. You don’t bother to talk to me for three fucking months, and then have the audacity to show your face here? Having your coworkers believe you’re bloody dead??” James looks at you, a hand grabbing your shoulder.

“Sweet-” Before he can even say anything, your hand is striking across his face.

“What the actual fuck James? If you didn’t want to talk to me, fine. But faking your death? Oh that’s a grade A dick move.” His own hand retreats to caress the red cheek that is stinging thanks to you.

“Would you stop - and fucking listen for a moment?” He tosses back his drink and sets a bill on the table for the drink and cigar. James’ hand is pulling yours to the door. When you get to the street, he’s walking you down a few shops before stopping in front of a black Audi sedan. He opens the door and you reluctantly get into the car. Soon enough he’s in the car himself, driving way too fast down London streets. “Who told you I was dead?” He questions.

“Why does it matter, all I know is that you’re not dead. And that you’ve been ignoring me for three months.”

“Was it M? Q? No… they wouldn’t.” He’s mumbling to himself as he finally slows to a stop, moving to a spot in the road and parking. He’s rapidly leading you to an apartment. When you step inside you see it’s relatively empty. A few things are set up, a TV in the corner and a few paintings that need to be hung… “Who was it?” He’s questioning again.

“My roommate Eve…” When you answer, he groans.

“What did she tell you?”

“That you worked together and that you died three months ago. Wouldn’t tell me how - said she couldn’t. James, what is going on?” He sits on the couch in the empty room, glancing at you.

“I was assumed dead. Not actually dead but no proof of life.” He confirms, pouring scotch into a glass.

“Pardon me?” You look at him bewildered.

“Moneypenny and I were chasing down a man named Patrice in Istanbul to recover a hard drive of names of our undercover agents.” You blink, multiple times.

“Sorry. Eve? You and Eve were in Istanbul?” He doesn’t answer the question.

“I was this fuckin’ close to getting the damn thing and the bugger had me in a chokehold. Eve was told to take the shot she had - clear or not. She did, and it hit me.” He pauses to take a sip of his drink before looking at you with seriousness. “Fell from the tracks to the river below. Was not to be heard from or seen for months.” You shake your head, not being able to comprehend this wild story he’s fabricating.

“Let me get this straight, you and Eve were chasing down a bad guy, she shot you and everyone thought you were dead? What are you? Police? British Intelligence?”

“British Secret Intelligence Service actually.” He corrects, standing and straightening his back. When he approaches again you look at him, cross in the face.

“You and Eve are secret service? And I’m supposed to believe that how?” James looks at you with blue hues, as firm as ever.

“Ask her.” He shrugs before polishing the glass with ease. So you do, you’re calling Eve.

“Listen, dude, I’m really sorry-”

“Did you kill him?”

“What?”

“Did you kill James?” The line is quiet.

“Before you freak out-”

“Eve, I don’t have fucking time for this. Yes or no.”

“Yes. Plea-” You’re clicking the end button and looking at the older man from across the room.

“So… you’re dead for three months - don’t bother to call, text, write, no real reassurance you were still interested.. We had a date and you never showed up.” You confessed, still upset - despite clearing up one dilemma. The male has set his glass down, looking over his phone and seemingly debating on contacting someone. He doesn’t reply for at least two minutes. “James. An answer would be nice? Considering you dragged me here against my will.” A glance to the window shows that London’s back to the constant rain for the rest of the night - er, morning. When he looks at you, you make an expression, waiting for an answer.

“I didn’t think I was ever going to come back to London. I sold a few things and made it to the Caribbean. Had to stay off record. Was strictly cash and nights spent stupidly drunk. Spent way too much time trying to zone out - forget that there was no one. Even when I was with someone. There was no one. No one had bothered to find my body - who cared?” The entire time he speaks your expression softens. You didn’t think about it like that. No one looked for him. Eve shot him and ran home. You assumed he ghosted you.

No one cared when he fell off the face of the Earth.

Your arms wrap around yourself, now feeling a bit of an asshole. There’s still a host of pent up frustration, but it’s covered by the current blanket of grief for the male.

“I did…” You suggest, taking a few steps to his couch, crouching down at his side, a hand on his thigh. “Granted, I was - still am - pissed at you, but I missed talking to you. I went everywhere we did, hoping I would run into you so I could scream at you and beg you to try again.” A large hand slinks over yours, gripping it softly before nodding.

“Thanks, angel.” He mumbles, looking at you briefly. The way your eyes meet makes you soften even further. His touch isn’t helping, so you have to stand up and pull your hand from his, turning your back to him.

“Not that you’re forgiven.” You start. “I… I told you a lot, James. I trusted you and you just… disappeared.” A sharp turn around to look at him. “You didn’t even have the guts to tell me what your real job was. Life insurance?” A shake of your head as you catch a passing car’s headlights in the window. You think for a moment to get your thoughts before scoffing and laughing in disbelief. “I bet you knew that Eve and I lived together. That’s why you never wanted to come to my place. Too awkward to face your co-worker.” You look to the old and damaged hardwood floors below you before looking at him. “What did you do while you were gone?” He’d mentioned being with someone. Knowing James… you had a feeling what the answer was.

“You don’t want to know.” He suggests and a cross expression comes to your features looking at him. He gets the message, “I found a woman the second I stepped on shore.” It’s like he’s almost mumbling it out of shame. Not that it mattered. Three months of radio static had pretty much killed your libiedo anyway. At his answer, you’re grabbing your coat - well, his coat, technically - and starting to the door. You can hear him calling your name. Louder and louder as you get closer to the door.

He probably woke the neighbors as he’d followed you out the door - stopping at the stairwell to apologize to angry neighbors for the disturbance. When you hit the stairwell, you’d nearly jumped down each flight, feet flying down the steps. The last thing you wanted to see was him right now. Yet simultaneously, he was all you wanted to see.

You disappear into sleeting rain through the streets, a leather coat over your head as you walk. It’s early now, the bus loops changing bus drivers, causing a lapse in schedule. So here you were, cowering in the rain as you make your way to your apartment. You’re at least six blocks from the building James’ resides in, so when a tap hits your shoulder you’re turning around, well intending to shout at him to leave you alone.

It’s not James.

He’s gotten into the same Audi that he’d driven you to his place in, headed to your shared unit with Moneypenny. When he arrives, he can see the sun rising, grunting as he presses the call button. Once. Twice. It’s the third ring he’s finally speaking. “For fucks’ sake would you let me in at least? It’s frigid and miserable out here.” When the door clicks open, he ducks into cover. The door opens but it’s not you. Instead, Eve stands there as if she’s seen a ghost. Which in a way: she has. Last she’d checked Bond was dead.

“I honestly thought someone was playing a cruel joke when I heard your voice over the two-way.” Her arms are crossed looking at him. A brief thin lipped grin is presented to her.

“Wonderful to see you too, Moneypenny. Where is she?” He’s looking at her, wanting to cut the chit-chat. Eve’s demeanor changes.

“I haven’t seen her since she left like three hours ago.” She offers with concern over her features. “Was she with you?” It clicks then. “You were with her. That’s how she knew I shot you-” Eve’s face fills with frustration, smacking his arm. James whines, putting a hand to his bicep, rubbing it. “You told her, didn't you? All of it.”

“Of course I did. She didn’t believe me so she called you.” He pushes past her into the far warmer space, looking around. He’s pleasantly surprised at the accommodations but focuses his attention again. “She stormed off after we talked. Well… it- not important. I need to get her safe before I go to MI6. I am rather sure this business with M is going to get frayed rather quickly.” James begins looking around the flat, looking for you as if Eve was hiding her.

“Bond. I’m not kidding, I’ve not seen her. I haven’t talked with her since she called me. Which apparently she was with you when she did....” His head spins on a dime at her words. Eve’s not seen you. You’ve not been here. He’s the last one to have seen you. James’ hand scrambles to his pocket, dialing Q rapidly.

“This number has been inactive for months - who are you and what kind of game are you playing?” He says sharply, cats mewing in the background. Q’s clearly home, possibly just starting his day.

“You need to be calm about this, as I have reason to believe there’s… an issue.” James speaks, nodding to Eve as he heads out in a slight dash/jog as he does.

“Bond? For the love of the Queen - you’re alive?”

“Q. I said to be calm. Focus here, time sensitive. Are you at HQ yet?” He questions, almost floating down the steps effortlessly. He’s chucking himself over the railing on the last set of steps, skipping the process all together to get to his car. Having not done much in the way of training the past 3 months he’s… rusty to say the least.

At least that’s what his body says when he lands, a curse leaving him before he’s running to the car.

“Right, right. Um, what’s going on, what do you need?” Q is eager to help as Bond slides into the driver’s seat of his car, dropping his phone to the cupholder and starting the engine, peeling out of his parking spot with haste. The call transfers over to the car’s bluetooth compatibility, shifting the conversation while wheels squeal on pavement.

“I need your ass at headquarters. Or your computer or whatever it is you need to get this task done: I need a phone traced.” He’s speaking, navigating through tight traffic, probably running lights. Does he care? Fuck no.

“Um… okay. Okay yeah. Can you get an active phone call?”

“Haven’t tried, won’t bother. Waste of time.”

“You have a name I could try to find?”

With that, Q and Bond launch into the beginnings of a long manhunt - for you.

Meanwhile, you find yourself in the presence of a… strange kind of man. He’s not all that intimidating actually. In fact the man who you had come across in the street made you more nervous than this one did. He greets you with mischievous smiles. “Ah, finally. You know it’s rude for guests to sleep in when there is an itinerary to follow?” He comments, greeting you with a smile that makes your throat tighten in fear. Okay, so maybe he’s intimidating. Or maybe it’s the fact that you’re currently tied to a chair, unable to move.

“I wasn’t aware I was a guest. That would insinuate that I came here by my free will. Which I think we can all deduce that I didn’t.” You retort.

“You’re not wrong there, my sweets. Though, I really needed something to entice that friend of yours to move along a bit faster. My patience is wearing thin and frankly, I don’t like games.” He speaks, moving in front of a computer, which allows him to rattle on and on about shit you’re not listening to. All you can think of is that James wasn’t lying.

He did work for British Intel. And you’d dug your face right into it. Was that why he was back in London? Something about this man? You knew absolutely nothing. “What does this have to do with me? James and I are… nothing, honestly. The man didn’t have the balls to call me for three months.” You groan, rolling your eyes as you look around.

“Oh it’s got nothing to do with you.” He admits, blonde platinum hair moving as he stands up and struts to you. “And has everything to do with Bond and his boss. So, you don’t need to worry your pretty little head.” That doesn’t sound promising.

He would then go on to explain that his name was Silva and that Bond’s boss was the reason he failed in life. Something along those lines - again you’re not too sure why or what’s going on. Just that there were plenty of men with guns, you were tied up and this man was counting down the hours to kill you.

When the night falls, Silva lets you into a quartered room for the night. Your hands are still bound, simply in front of you now, as a deterrent to your attempts to escape. The room is in shambles. Walls stand, just barely, a prison style bathroom you can’t even use (see: urinal) and disgusting mattress on rusting bed frame. You’re kicking yourself for not getting a tetanus shot. Had been since you laid eyes on the small city. Silva said you were on an island. Well it sure as shit didn’t feel like it when you’re shaking like this. Despite everything in you, you’re laying on the mattress, curled into a ball. There’s got to be a better moment you can think of. Just enough to get you out of this one, even if it’s brief.

You settle on one.

It’s your third date with James. He’d suggested it super last minute, which makes sense now that you know his real occupation, he’d probably just gotten back to London. Which, in a way, was sweet. The agent spends so much time and energy on a case - probably exhausted and the first thing he wants to do is see you.

It had been really late. Like really late. Which was fine, since you worked night shifts and weren’t off of work ‘till 2 at the earliest. He’d suggested take out at his place with drinks and card games. Later he would admit that he’d had to run to a local 24/7 shop to pick up something. Which was how you ended up getting drunk on whiskey sours and playing UNO. The game was stupid, no real tactic as he had mentioned.

It’s all luck. A roll of the dice really.

And that’s an issue why? You gamble on people’s lives for work, this shouldn’t bother you.

He’d not fought you on that. Now you realize the severity of your words. How many people had he chosen their last moments for? In the name of Queen and country.

You force yourself to go back. There’s no need to think like that. At least not right now. Not when you’re relying on him to gamble - to get you out of here.

His apartment is warm, thanks to the incredulous heat. Windows are open, fans running full blast. It might’ve been the wee early hours of the morning in England, but it was still humid as hell. Which had led to both of you stripping down to the littlest amount of clothing without being fully naked. Him in his boxers, you in panties and his t-shirt. Every now and then one of the passing fans would push your stacking pile of cards to the floor and you would both stupidly laugh. Drunk and enjoying each other’s time. It might’ve been four in the morning, but neither of you gave a shit. When James lost the third time, he’d tossed the cards to the floor and you to his bed.

That was the memory you’d used to help subdue the fear, anxieties and complex emotions that lingered.

It was early the next morning that you’re pulled back to the same room that you’d been in. Silva’s not there though. It’s just you and some guards. They stay quiet, seemingly waiting on a word to move. With a guard on each side holding your bicep, there’s no way you’re getting out of this on your own. They start conversing with one another until Silva steps in with a grin. “Good morning, gorgeous. Sleep well?”

“This hotel of yours is no Langham. I think my towels were missing. So was the continental breakfast.” You grunt at him. The man looks at you rather blithely, snickering all the while.

“This is why Bond likes you so, isn’t it? Sharp tongue, beauty and arrogance to match, huh?” Each step he takes closer and closer makes you shift a little further and further, as much as the guards would allow.

“At least he likes one of us. Hate to see what he’s got in store for you. OOOO it’ll be like a movie!” You taunt him a bit further with a coy smile on your face. “You know, like all those secret agent movies? You got popcorn? I’m gonna need it for when James kicks your ass.”

You’ve pissed him off now. Evident by the stinging along your cheek and the ache in your gut. Silva stares you down, eyes firm in a predatory glare. “Keep it up, princess and there won’t be much left of you for him to find.” He hisses, nodding to the chair you’d been in the previous day. When they’ve got you strapped in, they’re using the same method from earlier to put you out.

At least it’s killing time.

James is about to shoot M himself. She’s refused to let him do any qualified work until he’s taken all his readmittance trials. Q’s debriefing him all the while and he’s about to punch the poor kid too. The brunet realizes this and pauses looking at the older agent. “Should we do this later?” He questions.

“Yeah, just maybe.” He huffs, a breath leaving him. With that the taskmaster is on his way out the door. Bond finishes his trials within an hour. When they’re done and he’s cleaned up, he’s reporting to Mum, who sends him on his way.

The amount of bouncing around he’s had to do just to get word of where Silva might even be has been painstaking. Add to it that each hour that passes means worse things for you? He’s far past irritated. Livid is the more suitable adjective.

Probably why he finds himself headed to an island with the full intention of letting himself get caught. Who knows what kind of danger he’d put you in going in without a grasp on the situation.

Though he regrets that a little when he arrives and sees you in the state you’re in. Clothes are bloodied, torn, you look positively exhausted. Even worse is that they’ve got you in the same manner as him. Tied to a chair, unable to move. Well, for you at least. It takes Silva’s voice greeting him for you to recognize that they’ve got James. Hour 6 they’d blindfolded you when you’d sent another taunt at the pointy shoes on the mastermind’s feet. Something tells you that Bond would be more than proud if he’d been able to hear your refutes.

“Well, it’s certainly taken you long enough. I worried you might not ever come to join us.” He slithers, tongue moving in a tantalizing manner.

“You’ve been a patient little chap now haven’t you?” James coos, looking over at you, seeing the smirk on your face, showing that they’ve not battered you completely.

“Oh is that where your little toy gets all the witty remarks?” Silva inquires. “She’s had rather the stroke of genius here and there. Shame you missed the show. My favorite part was the coughing fit accompanied by the show of red.” This wipes the smirk from Bond’s face. That meant not so great things typically. He’s been in that spot plenty of times to know. A mournful expression reaches that face of his. James is half relieved that you can’t see it.

“You and I both know she has nothing to do with this.” He speaks, hands already working in an effort to slip from the restraints.

“Absolutely, dear. I told her that when she arrived.” Silva shrugs. “Perhaps we can get rid of her now that you’ve reached your destination?” A hand raises up towards you, pistol aimed in the clearest shot.

“That would truly be the stupidest idea you’ve ever had Rodriguez.” This enters into a discourse that frankly you don’t give two shits about. Your head is thrumming your heartbeat rather loudly. Every bit of your body is grotesquely sore, each breath creating a new layer of pain. Get on with it, Bond. You nearly want to shout it but obviously don’t. He’s got a plan. You hope.

And he does. He single handedly manages to defeat the horde of guards that surrounded the two men outside while the British Navy tackles the rest of the rescue. You’d heard it all from the confines of the building, thanks to security cameras that Silva had pulled up - just for your listening pleasure. It had gone on for nearly an hour. So when James finally does come to your side, releasing restraints, you nearly fall straight on your face. The restraints had been the only thing keeping you upright. Luckily, he’s there, arms open and catching you. It’s not until rough hands slide off the blindfold from your forehead that you break out into sobs. Brave face is gone, all adrenaline and fight or flight has cleared from your body and mind.

The only thing that rests there is the mix of James’ cologne and sweat. It’s a smell you’re relishing. One that used to bring memories of too many drinks, passion and hunger - now brought comfort, reassurance and protection. You can barely comprehend the hushed sounds that leave James’ mouth over roaring helicopter engines outside. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry, princess.”

The next 24 hours are a blur. Between pain meds, in and out of consciousness in the MI6’s med bay (a request of Bond himself) you weren’t sure which way was up and which way was down. Q had been introduced to you and had been your constant guest while James went galavanting. After all he’d worked to get Silva in MI6 hands, he’d escaped, wreaking havoc in the wake of his escape.

It’s 2 days later that you finally get to see him again. Two days after not saying a word and falling apart in front of a man you’d seen maybe eight times total but spent hours speaking to. Texts, calls, video chats… they’d been the sole connection you’d had to James before his ‘death’. So when a light rapping of knuckles comes at your door, you’re nearly whipping your head to look at it. He’s a little rough, a few scrapes and bruises, a butterfly stitch on his forehead… but in one piece. That is all that you cared about. You’re sitting up, causing him to move to you, reaching out a hand and taking your own, scolding you. “Fuck off, I’m fine.” You croak, pulling your arm closer and subsequently him. One arm lazily drapes over his shoulders, yanking him to you. The way his arms seem to lock around you is enough to finally let you feel like you can breathe. A cloak of discomfort that had lingered over you the past three days fades in his presence. You both sit there, your face nuzzled into his neck, his hands soothingly smoothing over bare skin thanks to the hospital gown over your torso.

Finally being released from MI6 care and into James’ was a fair trade. He was no doctor, no nurse, but you’re sure that there was nothing that could tear you from his side. So long as he was in London.

You knew you weren’t going to get him all to yourself. Not after everything that’s gone down. He has to watch over MI6. To make sure the transition of power doesn't fall into corrupt hands. For now, he pulls you to his side in the king bed of his recently polished apartment. They’d restored everything to its previous state - maybe even better since it was clean. Not the dusty mess it had been the prior visits you’d had to his apartment. Lips trail over the nape of your neck, humming words against your skin.

“Sorry, what was that?” You tease, carefully rolling over to face him.

“Admirations. That’s all.” He offers a finger trailing along your cheek now that he can see the features on your face. There’s a grin that flits over them, something that he can see, happily pressing a kiss to your temple. “We’ve got three months to make up, darling.” James pulls away as his hand hikes over lightly padded trails from your chin, down your neck and over your side, finally resting on your hip, slightly under the shirt on your torso. His shirt.

“Oh yeah? Aren’t we both sore enough as it is?” You question as his lips start to make small cool spots along your skin.

“It’s a massage.” He chuckles, clearly finding himself rather amusing. Teeth along your neck make you giggle yourself, hands moving to his sides as he moves.

“Mmm, okay, sure, Bond.” When he pulls away, your eyes instantaneously lock onto his. Both of you rest there contently for a second. He pushes some of the sheets away to let the sunlight fill your face.

“Besides. I was way worse the first four times.” The smirk that’s on his lips is what drives the astonished laugh from you before his lips catch yours. With ease he’s carefully guiding you fully onto your back, hovering above you, lips holding your attention with your own. Your eyes are shut, but every bit of you wishes they weren’t. Let yourself be able to watch him. This incredible definition of a man. He worked his ass off… and never let anyone know. Did the utmost amount of work possible on behalf of others. Most who never knew of his existence. For those he cared about. And that’s the greatest thing you think he could ever do.

You wanted to make sure he knew that. That you appreciate him in ways you could never express. Not just for saving your life, but for showing the character of a good man. Whether he recognized it or not.

You’d learned a lot in the last 7 days about James. His personal life, his aspirations, his ambitions, his true colors so to speak.

Though there was one thing you already knew. You knew his weak spots. So when his hands have started to drift to undo the buttons of his violet shirt on your shoulders, and he’s so intimately close, your lips attach to the skin behind his ear. Kisses, grazing teeth, hot breaths. You can hear the pants that rise out of him and smirk, giving a light whisper. “Don’t think I’m gonna go easy on you, Bond. You still owe me for going and dying on me.” Within an instant his lips are on your bare chest, sloppy open mouthed kisses over any skin he can reach. Hungry hands roam over your sides, your hips, your ass and to your ribs, thumbs carefully caressing the skin to tease you in any way he could. Hands move from his biceps to the sides of his head as his head dips lower, lower along your bruised skin. He’s careful to travel around the sore spots, gentle where need be.

“You have no idea. How badly. I wished you were with me.” He mumbles over you, taking a few breathers before hands slide to your hips, playing with the hem of your underwear. “Countless sunsets. Incredible views. So. Many. Places… no one could hear you. See you. We could’ve spent hours. Doing just. This.” The thought of it sends a thrill through you. Somewhere in the Caribbean, James’ lips coasting over your sun-kissed skin, hiding away from the world on a white sand beach. Fuck.

The word escapes your thoughts and into the room as the experienced male’s fingers slide between dripping lips. “How I’ve fucking missed, this.” He hums, hand retreating to pull the underwear completely off your body and onto the hardwood below. With no lapse in time, his mouth is on you, a solid stripe upwards, landing on your clit ever so briefly. Your hands find a home in the tresses of his hair, almost massaging in movements as he does the same. His tongue darts into your slit for a split-second, only before focusing more directly on your clit. Slow, thoughtful circles are drawn with his tongue, a quick vibration from a butchered word you don’t care to understand.

His pace quickens with each completed lap, one hand making its way to insert a finger into you, easing the tightness that’s riddled through you. The other hand is pulling your wrist from his head, to the sheets below you, happily and easily intertwining his fingers with yours. It makes your stomach lurch, this soft, affectionate side of him. With no doubt in your mind, this is your James Bond. No one else gets this James. Another finger and much faster pace leads to the inevitable breaking of the formed pit in your stomach, body rattled with a surge of energy. The pant that leaves you causes him to return to his hovering stance above you, looking at you with the softest rendition of oceanic blues. “Has someone grown tired?” He hums, wiping mouth and hands on his discarded shirt from the other side of the bed before lips kiss over your collarbones, looking up at you oh so innocently.

“You’re damn right I am.” Your head falls back as your chest rises and falls, James pulling you to his own chest, comfortably resting in his mattress.

“Well, you’ve had a tough week.” He teases, fingertips lingering over hyperactive skin. Your head drifts to the side, cheek to his own shoulder as he draws patterns on yours. “Finish this conversation later?” He suggests a kiss to the top of your head.

“Yeah. Later.” You hum, an arm slinging around his torso. The two of you could’ve laid there for the rest of the day despite the early hours, the wasted potential of the day melting with waning sun.

So long as James Bond knew that there was someone. Someone who cared.

#James Bond x Reader #James Bond/Reader #James Bond Fanfiction #Bond Fanfic #James Bond Fanfic #Bond Fanfiction #Bond x Reader #Reader x James Bond #Bond/Reader #haunted

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notnctu · 4 years ago

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when the snow falls | j.jh

jung jaehyun x reader genre - angst first, fluff later details - childhood best friends!au, ghost!au, platonic relationship, genderneutral!reader, ft. boyfriend johnny warnings - grieving/mourning, mentions of death, lots of crying, explicit language (swearing) word count - 8.3k inspiration - A Christmas Carol synopsis - Jaehyun visits you every holiday season since his death to bring you out of your self isolation and hatred for the one season you both once loved.

a/n - this is for my first collab ever: a taste of winter collab hosted by @dearyongs & @pastelsicheng ! again, thank you for letting me participate and i hope this fic brings more warmth for everyone during the winter!! happy holidays everyone & i hope you can check out the rest of the fics in the collab as i will be, they’re written by such amazing writers! :)))

An iridescent frost covers the tall windows of the apartment and a bright white sky greets you this morning. The fallen sheets expose your bare shoulders to the bitter crisp cold air and goosebumps rise to remind you to wear a fucking sweater for once. However, the cold isn’t what bothers you this horrid day as you’re leaping out of bed to glance out at the world. It’s the first thing that you lay eyes on: it covers the streets, it’s falling from the blanket of grey sky, it’s others’ joy when it’s your trauma. What Mother Nature has brought upon this winter season, as she always does this time of the year, is snow.

The first sign of snowfall marks the first day of your self isolation period until the holidays pass. It marks the anniversary of your best friend’s death and an agonizingly long winter, but in spite of that, it also means the appearance of a rather special guest. A guest that is only visible to you and though resembles much of your passed friend, does not share the same memories as you do.

“The snow is just so comforting, isn’t it?” Though you live alone, a sudden voice erupts from behind you and has you turning rather quickly to face the truth of this season. Your greatest treasure, yet haunting demise. “Hello, y/n. How has your year been?” Jaehyun stands with a lean at your door frame, his arms crossed at his chest and hair full of fluff.

“Hello, Jaehyun’s spirit. I happen to hate the snow, if you have forgotten.” Your hip presses against the cold glass and you’re no longer afraid of being half naked in front of what this form of imagination possesses itself to be.

“Remind me why again.” Jaehyun casually sits on your unmade bed, looking as about your age now. There is a brief silence as you examine how he’s grown with you, you’d imagine this is how he’d look if he was still alive and well.

It would be his third year in college, same as you, possibly studying engineering due to his past fascination with the mechanics of roller coasters. With such a strong jawline and a definite lean built, girls would be running all over him. Not to mention, his dimples remain one of his charms.

Kicking off the icy window, you walk carefully and slowly up to Jaehyun. A hand reaches to caress his cheek, but it goes right through him and leaves your hand to hang in mid-air. This happens every time you see him again, wondering if you can get one last touch of his dewy complexion, and you simply can’t. Despite his ability to touch you, there is no possibility for your senses to travel through to the other side of the supernatural dimension.

Jaehyun gently rests your hand back to your side and repeats his request, “remind me again why you hate the snow.”

“It’s how you died.” A small croak gets caught in the back of your throat and tears well up to blur your vision. “So when the snow falls, it brings me back to the dreadful memory of me losing you, of you leaving me.”

“I died from snow? That is so lame.” Jaehyun grumbles and rolls his eyes.

You chuckle, but the tears roll down your cheeks as if they know no happiness. “You died from a car accident in the snow. Your tires slid, you couldn’t brake … and so, you crashed. Full trauma to the head, an instant death.”

“Where was I going?” He wasn’t this curious last winter, and so you’re unaware if it’s your mind playing sick tricks on you or if his unrest spirit is this forgetful. You wish it was the latter.

Choking on your tears, the droplets hit the hardwood floors below you. An overwhelming feeling of melancholy overtakes your chest and you’re suffocating underneath an unknown pressure. Your throat is drier than your mother’s gingerbread cookies, but you swallow the frigid air around you.

You’re so choked up by your sobbing that it’s too difficult to speak. Any words you say feel like thin ice, ready to crack at the lightest touch. “O-On the way to … my house. You were coming over to tell me a secret.”

“And I never got to tell you.”

“No, Jaehyun. I’ll never know what you wanted to tell me that day.”

when the snow falls.

There has never been a time before Jaehyun and all that you knew, all the memories that fill your brain, every growing pain you could possibly share, was with him and all until it wasn’t. Had there been a time after Jaehyun, you would not have expected it to come as soon as it did.

For the months following his death, you were in denial of his missing presence because every. single. thing. reminded you of him. Jaehyun remained in his assigned seat in school, although it was clearly empty. He lived through others’ mourning stories, where they spoke of fond memories that they shared and things he liked. The worst of them all, you still texted him every day in hopes to see the tiny three dots pop up that he was typing. And the warped reality in your head, the first stage of grief flooding every possible corner, was that he has always just been slow at replying back.

Then, his funeral rolled around and his parents asked you to share one happy memory of him. There were so many, how could you possibly have chosen just one? And so you didn’t. The moment the frame of the church entered your view, your legs stuck to the ground and refused to enter. There was going to be a point when you entered the building filled with crying people and a gripping, horrid smell of death and you wouldn’t be able to forget it. That scary thought, not only frightened you, but angered you.

The large attendance of people walked past you as teary eyes blinked up at the dark wooden frame of the door, but every one of them had never visited him for more than once when he was alive. His older cousins that had forgotten about him when they flew away for college, his acquaintances from piano lessons who never bothered to remember his full name, his old friends from primary school that he had lost connection with after graduation, they were all here.

And you can’t help, but fester a fueling frustration in the pit of your stomach and as it grew into your chest in the matter of seconds, you wondered the single thought that picked up your feet to run home: where were they when he was alive?

After a year and the appearance of Jaehyun’s ghost became less of a shock during winter, you were stuck in an odd and uneasy place of what if’s. Talking to him once a year was never enough, texting his old number was never enough. It was just never enough.

Missing him grew into a dark sense of yearning, longing, bargaining. Long nights of twisting and tossing in your bed, many thoughts and endless possibilities ran through your unhealthy thoughts. The description and police report of his accident played like a reel in darkest contemplations.

The first year of college had to be the hardest to go through without him and thus, aiding in your regrets of not cherishing him enough when he was around. A rabbit hole of universe paths drove you wild, wishing and hoping that you could turn back time and stop him from coming over in the middle of a blizzard. And the one lasting thought still haunts you to your present: if only you hadn’t encouraged him that night, he wouldn’t have died.

The saddest part has barely been acknowledged, even by yourself. That this one tragedy tainted the one holiday you two loved the most --- Christmas. Every year since his passing, you locked yourself in your room for two weeks before the holiday and waited through it all. Truthfully, there was nothing in the universe that was going to allow you to enjoy the holiday when it wasn’t with him. Even his ghost, who very randomly popped up on a December day and cluelessly never brings much comfort as the live him did during this season.

Jolly holiday music lost their joyous sound and became awfully low tempo. The bright red and green signature colors of Christmas became dull and rather grey; the long strings of colorful lights that hang from houses and around large trees were absolutely drained of their color. The warmth of the fireplace went cold. The cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies no longer entertained and lost their spark.

The Christmas themed decorations that covered the windows of shops, the city, your own house, became an overwhelming sore sight to look at. The love from your loved ones… you couldn’t feel anything remotely close to love anymore, just meaningless affection. The one gift that the Earth blessed your region with, snow, became the one petrifying thing that it had to offer. And your favoritism for the holiday, the so-called ‘Christmas Spirit’, slowly died out, along with Jaehyun.

Now that it’s been three years since his passing, you’re here spending your third lonely holiday season inside your apartment discussing your yearly recap with your ghostly best friend.

“That ridiculous final exam lowered my grade and I walked out of that class retaining none of the information. When will I ever need to know about pirates in the 1800’s?” The chocolate wrapper crinkles in your fist as you finish your overly passionate recollection of the most useless class you could have taken this whole year.

Jaehyun sits by your side, facing you as he hugs his knees close to his chest. A small grin dots the dimple on his left cheek when you peer over at the huddled boy and the sad reminiscent glisten in your eye does not go unnoticed. “You used to love pirates. Dressed up like one for Halloween and went up to every house yelling,” Jaehyun clears his throat and perks up, ready to perform.

A balled fist in the air, paired with a look of utter gusto and passion, Jaehyun speaks in an attempt to horribly reenact your once embarrassing pirate impression. “Argh! You scoundrel, give me all the treasures in your possession… preferably chocolate sweets.” He holds his stomach as he bursts into a fit of his baritone laughter. His wide mouth grows into such a big, open smile that his eyelashes dance on his glowing cheeks.

“For a ghost, you sure look like someone who’s very much alive.” Naturally, you’d swat lightly at his knee or arm whenever he would joke around. However, the pain of your hand passing right through him breaks this habit and you’re left scoffing at the way Jaehyun is consumed with laughter.

“You know, for someone who is alive… you sure look a bit … lifeless. When was the last time you were happy, y/n?” Jaehyun finally settles down and gently nudges at your elbow.

His question hits you like a wall of bricks. Unexpected and completely straightforward, but that’s just always been the way he is. “This past weekend when I turned in my last assignment for the semester.”

“No. The last time you were genuinely happy, not relieved. You mentioned a boyfriend, right?”

Rolling your eyes, you grow a bit silent and annoyed at his comment. “Listen, hopeless romantic. Not every relationship is perfect sunrays and gushy unconditional love.” Perhaps, your gaze drops down to your hands and the wrinkled wrapper between your fingers has worn out from your fidgeting.

Johnny Suh. If you could move mountains for this man, you would. It all started due to an accidental happenstance of you abruptly walking into your campus’ coffee shop to seek shelter from the rain and him, the attractive barista behind the counter, chasing after you in a stained apron and an immensely strong aroma of coffee beans. Jaehyun practically swooned over hearing how you two met, hearts in his pupils and a dreamy grin resting fondly as he attentively listened.

Jaehyun has always wanted a relationship, though he did have many admirers in high school, he never had the opportunity to experience one true love and to play out every sappy romantic thing rom-coms taught him. Hearing about your love life is the closest thing he can get to it, unfortunate for him, but fortunate that his best friend still has some romance in them.

Nevertheless, it’s only been a few months together. Though Johnny has seen intimate parts of you, he’s never experienced a winter with you and frankly, he won’t ever experience one with you if you keep this up.

“Johnny doesn’t make you happy, then why are you with him?” Jaehyun knows Johnny makes you feel something that is hard for you to put into words. He also knows the type of person you are, pushing your buttons to get you to defend something you love. Boldly. Loudly. Strongly. He knows how to get you to spit out words of truth, even when they’re difficult.

“My partner is the literal definition of happiness, okay?” The defensiveness drives your assertiveness further. “The last time I was happy was when…” your eyes are frantically examining the floor for any source of focus as a highlight reel of this whole year flashes through your mind.

“... On my birthday, he planned me a picnic. Bought me roses, the whole grand scheme of romance. I started to cry, out of happiness… it was the first time in a while that the reason behind my tears was something good.” There’s somewhat of an epiphany when you finish your sentence. Your voice gets lost in your train of thought as the blissful scene plays out.

“Why were you crying?” Jaehyun snatches the distracting wrapper from your fingers, it being unrecognizable from the wear and tear. It causes you to meet Jaehyun’s round eyes: empty, but not sad. They’re lost, yet filled with purpose.

Jaehyun has always been able to open up the darkest parts of your heart. “Because it reminded me of the time when you and I walked up that steep hill over on Fifth Street… and we forgot the picnic blanket. But it didn’t matter because after the strenuous journey, all we wanted was to sit down and enjoy some fucking sandwiches, along with some hot chocolate your mom packed us.”

“y/n, you cried over the memory of sandwiches and exercise? That’s so---”

“Before you insult me by calling me lame,” you bring your finger to stop him mid-way and narrow your eyes, “I was so happy to be able to share our same experience with someone else. Even though you’re gone, I can still have these happy moments with other people.”

Then, Jaehyun gathers both of your hands to hold and brings them to his soft lips. Everything about him feels cold, like a harsh chill that bites at your skin. In spite of it all, his delicate kiss on your knuckles somehow feel warm and slightly comforting. Jaehyun peers up with kind eyes, “you’re almost there. I will do everything I can to get you there.”

Blinking at him with confusion, your expression asks the questions for you. When he sets your hands in his lap, a soft pat on the back of your hand reassures you. “Can we bake Christmas cookies?”

Rolling your eyes, you tear your hands away from him. He leaves you with unspoken words and an oddly comforting feeling, but it’s not enough to dissipate your deeply rooted dislike for this particular holiday. “You ask this every year.” Getting up, you walk towards your bedroom to get away from feeling too vulnerable.

Jaehyun watches your back intently as you’re stumbling over your feet. He whispers to himself, “and I think this year is going to be the last year I’ll ask for it.” And a hopeful smile appears joyously as he anticipates the storm before reaching still waters.

The sound of the doorbell awakens you and Jaehyun is nowhere to be seen. He comes and goes as he wishes, however, he’d usually accompany you during the mornings. You’re particularly sluggish, finding it difficult to adjust to the blinding white sky outside as snow continues to drift upon the city.

“Good morning, gumdrop.” Your boyfriend is rather chirpy today. Johnny engulfs your fragile body in his long arms and you’re lost in his scent of peppermint bark.

“This was unexpected.” His shirt muffles your tiny voice and Johnny is setting down bags of groceries on your kitchen countertop.

“I texted you last night that I was coming over to do some grocery shopping for you. Did you sleep early?” Your very helpful boyfriend starts unloading all the parcels of fresh produce and your favorite snacks. However, there is a slight tinge of annoyance and possibly it’s due to the fact you weren’t expecting to see anyone during your isolation. Johnny couldn’t have known though.

A deep sigh escapes your lips and you walk over to stop his movements. A hand holds his arm and the other intertwines with his own, but you stand under him with the sweetest smile you could wear during the holiday season. “How is it that your mom invited me to your family holiday party, but tells me that you’re not going to be there?”

Your smile automatically falls from your lips and a hand retracts from his warmth. It’s the sudden truth that you must face, the confession of your sadness that you’ll eventually need to tell your partner. Wondering how he’s going to take the news, your mom probably gave him a brief breakdown about how you’ve been this way for the past few years now.

Nonetheless, Johnny has always been bold with his statements and though you’ve adjusted to his abruptness, this one is hard to give a quick answer back to. So as you’re racking how to present your dark narrative, Johnny sets you down on the couch with the utmost gentleness. You don’t even feel the cushion underneath you when the million different answers streamline their way into your brain.

Johnny notices your frantic eyes and unfocused gaze, growing a bit concerned at how cold your skin feels at his touch. Taking off his sweatshirt, he carefully slips it over your shaking figure. When the softness of the polyester cotton blend brushes upon your bare arms, you’re snapped back facing a worried expression.

And you say the one thing on your mind, the only thing you can think of in your scattered brain. “Jaehyun died during this time of year, so it just makes me very emotionally unstable to… participate in any festive events. I’d rather be alone, the whole holiday season.”

Johnny nods, but his face remains with his eyebrows together and lips pressed into a tight line. He’s well aware of who Jaehyun was and means to you. Though you don’t talk much about him, your eyes light up with a bright twinkle whenever you do. It’s like the world spins ‘round and everything feels restored. Johnny knows enough about your good friend to deduct how hard it must be for you during the winters.

“Can I help you in any way?” Johnny peers over at you with a small smile, and you wish there is something in your decaying heart to keep it up forever.

“I hate to say it, but please just leave me alone for the winter.” Flopping on his lap, you’re burying your face in your hands to cower away from seeing your sunshine hurt. There are no more sugar coated kind words for you to pick and choose from.

While Johnny can understand how difficult it must be for you, he still holds onto a sliver of hope that you’ll come around. “Come on, don’t be such a Grinch. No one should be alone for Christmas.”

Groaning, you sit up and roll your eyes at the familiar references. “Listen, Cindy Lou Who. Don’t call me that.”

“It’s still a cute nickname, you don’t think?” Johnny snickers lightly, but your expression turns rather grim and serious. A faint overcast of melancholy washes over your expression as you’re staring off into your memories again.

In a faint voice, your voice is barely above a whisper, “that used to be one of Jaehyun’s favorite movies.” Your arms drop from your puffed up chest, but Johnny catches your hand and kisses your fingertips.

“What was yours?” Johnny keeps the atmosphere as light and playful while he still can.

“The Nightmare Before Christmas.” Ironically fitting and that’s one of the sole reasons you don’t watch holiday movies anymore. There have been too many parallels with your life and the wrenched holiday. As twisted as the joke may seem, you’ve lived your own nightmare before Christmas, except you never got the happy ending to it all. It’s like a nightmare that continues and you can’t escape it.

Having said, Johnny pulls you up to stand and draws you into the biggest hug. “I can’t leave you alone, even if I tried my very best. I still get butterflies every time you smile at me, so you think I wouldn’t be addicted to that feeling?”

“Johnny…” This man is in love with you until the ends of this Earth, until the horizon stretches so far that it’s unimaginable to see where it stops.

“I’ll respect your wishes as much as I can, but know that it’s not the best form of healing.” The final word causes a chill to run down your spine. It implies that you’re still hurting, although he’s not wrong, it’s rather disheartening to hear someone else speak it aloud. “I’ll come around less.”

“If I’m grumpy, then you’ll know why. And don’t try to shove the whole Christmas spirit act on me, I don’t want to hear a single thing about it! I can’t spend a Christmas without Jaehyun.” Johnny squeezes your shoulders at your bold declaration.

“You can’t or you won’t?” A painful tick at your heart leaves you speechless at his question.

For as long as you could remember, every Christmas was spent with Jaehyun. Picking out a tree for both of your families and getting lost together between the evergreens brought laughter and excitement. Baking cookies and drawing the ugliest faces in tacky colorful frosting always happened a few days before the holiday. Drinking hot chocolate by his family’s fireplace and watching Christmas movies were one of your favorite activities. Christmas Eve was always so special, where you and Jaehyun made it tradition to open your gifts from each other right when the clock struck midnight.

Then everything simply stopped. And when you tried to participate in those same activities, selfishness and guilt preoccupied your heart. What do any of those things mean without Jaehyun? Jaehyun was the reason you loved Christmas as much as you did. Then, his death became the reason you hated it as much as you do.

“I think that’s enough for today.” Johnny knows he’s hit a nerve, he can see it in your glossy eyes and subtle drop in the corners of your mouth. There is no protest from the taller man when he accepts his sweatshirt without a complaint. The bitter cold air bites at your bare shoulders again and you’re practically existing in its lack of warmth. Gathering the rest of his belongings, you two bid a kiss goodbye and shut the door.

It’s almost a relief that he’s gone and the tear runs down your cheek when your back hits the door. Suddenly, Jaehyun appears across the living room leaning on the door frame to your bedroom. “He seems like a nice guy.”

“He is.” There is a hang at the end of your sentence and Jaehyun walks toward you. A few sniffs fill the empty apartment, but you’re rubbing away any sign of sadness from your face.

“But?”

“But, he’s so optimistic about… everything. He lives by the sun and every waking day, he just lives it to the fullest. There’s nothing in the world for this man to possibly understand how sad I feel.” It’s the heaviness in your voice that has your heart sinking to the pit of your stomach.

Jaehyun’s freezing hands graze your chin and as he lets go, his stare doesn’t leave yours. “Learn from him.” Your best friend’s ghastly voice reminds you that he’s not real. He’s a ghost. He’s very much gone and not for a split second, should you be wanting to cave into his embrace or else, you’ll hit the floor hard. Nevertheless, you’re entirely vulnerable and the next few words that leave Jaehyun’s mouth causes your throat to close up.

“Keep him close. y/n, he is the sun.” It’s a moment you thought you’d never witness, your best friend complimenting your significant partner. Moreover, it hurts to think about how great of friends Jaehyun and Johnny could have been. “To be very honest, you need some heat this winter.”

“Then, what were you?” It’s the curiosity that nips at your tongue as it leaves no space for a pause. The thumping of your heart being so loud in the dead silence, but you know Jaehyun doesn’t have a heart to beat recklessly as yours.

Jaehyun smirks and chuckles fondly, despite how desperate and serious you may have sounded. “I was a pain in the ass.”

Scoffing, you break the immensely intense eye contact. “You still are. This whole haunting thing is very creepy.” Gesturing his entire being in front of you, he just looks so alive and breathing. Before Jaehyun, you always thought ghosts were floating entities with a white transparency. But your best friend stands before you, well aged and all together.

It still tosses you into shambles as to why Jaehyun exists, but you’ve given up on figuring out his purpose. He could be a form of your own imagination for all you care, perhaps you’ve grown so sad that you started to seek things.

Companionship from the one person you wish was still alive?

Like before, you’ve always spent Christmas with Jaehyun… alive or in ghost form.

It’s another one of those long days that seem to never end. The bright white sky seems unchanging, stark with a dusty and imminent endless overcast of snow. It’s blinding and you’re regretting the moment you overlooked the curtain blinds at the department store.

Your phone has already been lost somewhere underneath your bed and there isn’t a single desire to reach for it. Missed calls pile up, voicemails clutter your inbox, texts flood your messages, and your social media notifications fill your screen. Despite everyone’s effort to contact you, there is no sense of joyous cordial nature to even glance at them.

Jaehyun has been appearing more frequently and staying for longer periods of time. The conversations bring an empty comfort, most of the times you feel the need to remind yourself that you’re not actually talking to someone, are you?

“What’s that sad look in your eyes?” He startles you when you’re off looking vacantly out the window. Your mind has been completely distracted lately by meaningless thoughts and the sweetest reels of Jaehyun that have turned blue.

The more you wrap yourself in your white sheets, the less you can feel any source of warmth. And perhaps you haven’t realized that you no longer felt any heat the past few days, that you’re at a freezing point and it’s made you numb.

“Not sure what you mean.” Your voice remains dull and monotone, lifeless almost. Jaehyun takes a seat against the window and for the first time, you can see right through him.

“It’s not your fault, y/n.” Is he a mind reader too? The thought that always circles your mind when Christmas draws near is not only that Jaehyun is gone forever, but how you could have prevented it all. The guilt eats you up and no matter how hard you’re searching for acceptance, it slips away from you before you have a chance.

When you don’t answer, Jaehyun heads over to your bed and he’s alarmed at how cold your hands are. “It was never your fault.” Your best friend pulls you into a hug, but it can barely be felt. What kind of hug can’t be felt?

“I never said it was.”

“No, but you thought about it.” The chilly draft causes you to shiver and it’s hard for you to concentrate on anything else besides the night of his death.

“I should have stopped you from coming over.” Although you’ve confessed this many times to him before, it never gets easier to say. Jaehyun sighs and ultimately frowns at your tears slipping from your eyes again. Like the snow that drifts from the heavens, your tears know no end to their downfall. It’s become too natural for them to appear. The closer it gets to Christmas, the harder it is to stop from crying.

“It’s hard for me to speak about it since we don’t remember much of the same moments---”

“Jaehyun! I remember that night as clear as it was just yesterday that it happened.” There’s no reason to yell, but a strong sense of pain erupts from your chest.

He’s so calm at your sudden outburst, turning his head to face you with a deadpan expression. “You weren’t there, y/n. You were home, safe and sound as you should have been. I’m more than grateful that you’re the one alive.”

“I’m not!” But when the confession leaves your lips, you’re shaking and fearful. The entire room is stiff and silent. You couldn’t even believe what you had just said, wondering if that is anything close to truth. You look up at Jaehyun, who blinks at you with furrowed eyebrows and wide eyes. “I mean,” you clear your throat in the midst of the tense atmosphere. “I could have saved you.”

“You’re not a hero and I didn’t need saving when I was already gone.” He taps his temples lightly, “full trauma to the head. It was just my time to go.”

“The secret. I wanted to know so bad that I didn’t stop you from coming in a snowstorm!” Jaehyun pats your head in an attempt to soothe your aching heart.

“And I wanted to tell you just as bad that I didn’t care about the snowstorm. y/n, stop blaming yourself for something that happened to me. The universe is much more complex than that, give it some credit.”

“You’re even philosophical as a ghost? Give me a fucking break.” Groaning, you pull the sheets over your head to somehow run away from the conversation.

Jaehyun lies down next to you, smiling cheekily to himself and glancing over at the lump that you had become underneath the blankets. “Do you remember the time I taught you how to ride a bike?”

“I thought it was your dad who taught me.” You grumble, tossing away the sheets to glance over at him. It always puzzled you how Jaehyun never remembered the same memories as you do, and even if you did, one of you remembered it differently.

“He was probably there as supervision. I was the one who helped you take off your training wheels and strap on your impressively thick knee pads.” You’re lying on your elbows now, fists pressing into your cheeks and a fond attentive gaze upon Jaehyun’s resting figure. He’s staring up at the ceiling that protects you two above, yet can cave in at any moment.

Dimples dip into his round supple cheeks as his toothy smile comes into view, reliving the happy memory. “You rang your little bell so many times that day.”

“Because I was scared!” You protest, muttering something incoherent. “Didn’t we go downhill when I said I wasn’t ready?”

“We went downhill because you said you were ready.” His hair ruffles in your sheets when he turns to face you, and he just takes your breath away. It’s the stars in his dark eyes that sweep you off your feet, like the gleaming star on top of a tree. The color that oozes from his smile, like Christmas lights that line a rooftop, make it hard not to stare. Jaehyun looks just like Christmas, the most wonderful thing of the year. In someway, he resembled an angel or the soft sheet of snow ready to fall right through.

You’re encompassed by overwhelming effervescent emotions from listening and watching Jaehyun glow and gleam. “Then, what?”

Jaehyun’s low chuckle illuminates the room, dazzling the boring grey interior. “Little ol’ you, hurt yourself real bad that day, scrapes and wounds you thought you’d never heal from. You didn’t talk to me for a week, but you ended up learning how to ride a bike.”

“Is that right?”

Jaehyun rests on his side now, only an elbow supporting his body and he’s leaning in close to your face, you’re almost too sure you could feel a breath on your lips. “No matter how painful it gets, I’m always here to push you through it all.”

When your heart beats sporadically at his proximity, you didn’t realize that you are holding in a breath, being quite afraid that if you let it out, it would simply blow him away for the night. And you’re not ready for him to leave you again.

Christmas Eve;

It had to be a miracle that anyone got a hold of you this week when Johnny comes practically banging at your door. Though you are so close to ignoring his loud thumping, the sound of your boyfriend’s soft sniffles alarms you greatly.

“y/n, holy shit!” It’s deja vu when you’re in his arms again, a horribly warped version of it when the smell of peppermint bark tickles your nostrils disgustingly. “I thought something happened to you. You weren’t answering my calls or texts.”

“My one wish for Christmas was to be left alone and I meant it.” The attitude in your voice becomes jarringly evident and Johnny blinks back at you with a new found annoyance as well.

“Can you at least think of the other people around you?” He holds your shoulders lightly, but staring into his eyes seems to be harder to do lately. Jaehyun appears on the couch, lying flat on his stomach and a hand resting underneath his chin. This is no longer a private conversation, but you learned long ago that no one else can see him.

“Who are you talking about? My family? Because they’ve all given up on me.” This is the first time Johnny has seen you act so cold and distant, yet entirely vulnerable. You’re stripped of everything that you usually hide in --- oversized clothes, happy smiles, and a beaming warmth.

All Johnny ever wants is for you to be loved, not only by him, but by the world. And interestingly enough, he loved you for your vulnerability and your rawness. This is until he realizes, in this moment, that it stems from your trauma of losing Jaehyun.

“What about me, y/n? I’m still here.” Johnny is frantic, and by all means, hurt by your aloofness. Brushing off his hands from your body, you’re taking several steps away from him.

“And why are you still here when I kept telling you to leave me alone? Whenever I was upset, Jaehyun always gave me space! Haven’t ever thought about how that is something I need?” You’re saying nonsensical statements that are fueled by anger and annoyance.

He’s pushing your limits and for once, you’re pushing him away. But this isn’t new to you, in fact, you’ve pushed so many people away just like this and that’s why they’ve decided to just let you be.

Johnny is taken aback, “you know, I feel like I’m competing with Jaehyun and I’ve never even met him.”

You scoff and throw your arms in the air, visibly in disbelief at what your boyfriend is saying to you. May you lose your temper, you’re unsure about the future of this relationship. Yet, something in your cruel and painful heart no longer cared, snapping your wits and patience at your beloved.

“What are you saying?” You’re pacing back and forth, fuming with an inexplicable infuriation. Jaehyun catches your eye, and for a brief moment, you’re holding eye contact with him instead. “Jaehyun is dead,” facing Johnny now, you say words that jumble in your chest, regardless of their true meanings, “and even if he was alive, there would be no competition.”

“Because you were always going to choose him over everyone else in your life, is that right? Exactly like how you do now.” Johnny’s words sting like daggers at your skin, worse than the layer of frost that bites at you for the past two weeks.

“Please, don’t attack me for hurting.” With that, your voice breaks and cracks all over. Your tears hit the ground without you feeling them run down your cheeks.

Johnny is quick to wipe them away, not minding that his hands will now be wet from your salty droplets. He instantly regrets it all, the unwarranted questions, the fighting, the barging in unexpectedly. It pains him more to see you like this.

“I apologize. I’m sorry that I’m not saying the kindest words to you when you need to hear them the most.” Your partner is frowning, a true rare sight to see. “But, you’re still grieving and there is going to have to be a time that you move on.”

It’s one of those tip of the iceberg moments or when the ball finally hits the ground and a rush of cathartic enthusiasm washes over you. However, you’re not happy. You’re not even remotely close to happiness. You’re fucking sad, you’re aching with a pain so deeply rooted that it isolates you, that it rips apart anything that used to bring you joy.

And this causes you to scream your lungs out, sobs that choke you up. “I can’t! You don’t understand, no one understands! I just fucking can’t. He was my best friend and that night… he was going to tell me something.” Jaehyun can’t bear to hear your piercing wails, as he’s disappeared completely from the setting. When you’re panicked and searching for him, you only see Johnny staring back at you with a very concerned expression.

“And I will never know what he wanted to tell me.” Your tone grows soft and rather delicate, like a sad realization at the possibility that the secret died with Jaehyun that night.

“Some things are better left unknown. Do you really think you’ll feel better knowing?”

“Listen to him, y/n.” Jaehyun randomly appears next to Johnny’s stature. He stands a few inches shorter than him, but the sight of them together has you blinking in awe.

You’re darting between the two of them, “I don’t know what will make me feel better.”

“Come, tonight. Your whole family wants to see you for the one holiday that brings people together.” But when Johnny steps forward, you’re taking a step back.

“Please, just go.” With an assertive point to the door, your head does not lift up to watch your boyfriend leave. Despite every person you’ve done this to, Johnny’s hurts the most. His flame dies out tonight, providing no sense of security or heat. And with a toss of his arms of exasperation, he shuts your front door and leaves without a goodbye, without wishing you a merry Christmas.

Jaehyun calls your name, but you’re rushing to your bedroom and slamming the door shut. “Don’t you dare travel through the wall.”

Your apartment has grown so dark due to the shorten winter days. It’s pitch black all around you and the sky is no longer a deafening white. It’s the first time you notice the dark blue scattered clouds and the intricate snowflakes that drift carefully down to the streets. And, you’re all alone in the quietness. You truly are isolated every Christmas.

“y/n, let’s talk.” Jaehyun is beyond fed up with your behavior, that has to be the last straw. This is the first year since his death that he’s seen the evident spark in your eye, the hope that is hiding behind your depression. He sees it in the way Johnny looks at you, like you’re the greatest present he could receive in life. In your proclamation, as hard as it was to witness, is a spirit that wishes to be freed. There was a chance this year. There still is one.

“Jaehyun, you left me! You left all alone, and no matter how hard I try to stop thinking about you, it never works. In the end, no one is here for me like how you were.” Hands in your hair, you’re losing yourself at a rapid rate. It hurts to keep your eyes open, tears sting as they well up around the rims.

“Find a part of me in the people around you.” The door to your bedroom swings open and Jaehyun takes note of you by the window again. You want to leave, you want to be out there and he knows, before you can actually realize it yourself. You’re turning to face him and in the dark, he looks solid. He looks so real and whole.

“How do I do that?” It’s a genuine question that you’ve pondered before, but never feeling like you had the strength to do so. You’re always dwelling on your past with Jaehyun, indulging in the sacred memories only you two shared.

“What are things that you associate me with?” He is found leaning against your door frame again, hands are shoved into the pockets of his faded jeans.

You say the first thing on your mind, “snow.” When the words hit the air, your ceiling light flickers briefly. Jaehyun doesn’t flinch, however, still focused on your crying figure. Snow, the first sign of snowfall is when he appears for the winter.

“What else?” He encourages.

“Familiarity.” The light flashes again, for a mere second longer this time before it resumes darkness. Familiarity, for he grew up by your side for as long as you could remember.

There is an odd feeling that enters the room and you’re fearful of the unknown. But, Jaehyun’s cadence doesn’t falter, he’s not distracted by the random spurts of light. And if anything, it all could be his doing. “Keep going.”

“Comfort.” Flicker. “Warmth. Love. Excitement.” With each word, the light builds stronger and stronger. You’re speaking memories into existence now, “making snow angels until it got dark, laughing until our stomachs hurt, watching movies until the clock struck midnight, dancing until our legs gave out!”

Streams run down your face and you’re yelling until your throat feels raw, but you don’t wish to stop as the light glows brighter and brighter with each spoken word.

As you listen to every listed attribute and memory, you recognize a central theme in all of them and one thing that Jaehyun embodies, the one thing he’s always been associated with.

“Christmas.” A shaky breath exhales and a loud spark pierces your ears. The light illuminates intensely all around you, lighting up the darkest corners of your room and blinding you more than the sky has been lately.

“Jaehyun?” Closing your eyes, you can see the brightness through your eyelids and you’re beyond confused as to what is happening. When you mindlessly reach for his hand, you actually feel it and your heart is soaring due to strange unquestionable physics.

Jaehyun intertwines your hand in his own and caresses your face gently. For once, he doesn’t feel cold. He’s blazing hot, melting away the long days of isolation. “Open your eyes, y/n.”

What lies before you is an incredible, marvelous sight. Snow dusts the roof of your family’s house as green, red, yellow bulbs light the frame of it. Your parents really went all out; round snowmen sit perfectly together on your lawn. A decorative wreath hangs at the front door and a distinct chuckle catches your attention.

From the window that looks into your kitchen, your mother rolls a sheet of dough on the counter as clouds of flour erupt around her. Your father is preoccupied at the stove, with the silliest gimmicks for decorating the feast they’re about to hold. Silver tinsel line the dinner table with a festive table cloth draped upon it. The remarkable tree shines in the center of the living room, a glimmering star on top.

“I know we probably won’t see y/n again this Christmas…” The sound of your mother’s voice rings a bell in your yearning heart and Jaehyun is gazing at you with a wondrous look in his eyes. The grip on his hand is tight, your breath enters the night in puffs of smoke, and regardless of this all being real or imaginary, you’re so immersed in this reality that he knows you’re anticipating what your family has to say.

“... but something about this year really makes me miss them.” Your mother puts the rolling pin off to the side and rests her hand on the kitchen counter, trying to hold back any form of her own tears from falling.

“May Jaehyun watch over them tonight, our little angel doesn’t deserve to be alone.”

Your dad walks over to embrace your mother in a long hug, kissing the top of her head gently. “Merry Christmas, y/n.” Your father speaks into the air, without the knowledge of you outside, he’s thinking of you.

Something in your heart shatters, but it’s entirely different from the pain you’ve felt over the years following Jaehyun’s death. It’s a warm, bubbly feeling that spreads across your chest and you’re covering your mouth out of pure shock at the sight of your parents.

Your parents, who you’ve neglected every holiday season, still think of you. You recognize the ingredients that scatter the table, they make your favorite dish every year in hopes you’ll come join them.

Jaehyun whispers, “y/n, know that I’m always going to be here. I may physically be gone, but I live in your heart and the joyous memories we’ve shared together. I live through the many people who love you now, through Christmas. This spirit is also very much alive in the other people around you.”

When you peel your eyes from the scene of your parents, the vision suddenly disappears and you’re facing Jaehyun right back in your cold, empty, dark apartment. But you wish the moment lasted a little longer. For the first time in a long time, you wish to be with your loved ones. You wish to celebrate Christmas with the people who still care about you, the ones that are still alive and well.

“What if I’m not ready?”

“This signifies my final push down the hill. You’re all strapped up in your knee pads, y/n. You’re never truly going to be ready, but that shouldn’t stop you from trying.” Jaehyun pats your head lovingly and mimics the motions of securing a helmet on your head.

You’re letting go of his hand, running around quickly in search for the appropriate outerwear for the snow. It’s like a switch went off in your heart and a cathartic feeling settles in the pit of your stomach.

Every Christmas since his passing, you thought it was best to be alone. You thought it was selfish to live your favorite holiday season without your best friend, that you lost the spirit of Christmas.

However, this entire time… Jaehyun’s ghost has been a reminder that the Christmas spirit has always been alive. It’s not about the enthusiastic festive events or the cheerful themed activities or the distinct colorful decorations, it’s about the appreciation and love you have for the people who have made your year so special. You’ve associated the holiday so much with your best friend, that you’ve lost sight of it in your family, your current friends, your own boyfriend.

When you’re rushing out the door, you stop in your tracks and peer back at Jaehyun leaning against your door frame, just as he appeared a few weeks ago. He has the warmest, brightest smile on his face, “y/n, I think I finally remember the secret I wanted to tell you.” You’re afraid of the answer and the outside world, but your hand doesn’t slip from the door handle. Could it really be? The long anticipated secret that has been gnawing at your conscience since his death?

Nevertheless, he’s giggling and holding his stomach slightly from the immense amount of joyous laughter. “I wanted to tell you that I... finally learned how to shave.”

At first, you’re stunned at the simplicity of the beheld secret. All this time, you thought it had been something so meaningful, something so mind blowing, that needing to know practically destroyed your mental state. Then, a wholehearted and genuine laugh erupts from inside of you and you’re lighting up the darkest parts of yourself. Jaehyun looks at you fondly, like a beauty that he hasn’t seen in awhile.

“That’s fucking it? You came out in the middle of a blizzard to tell me you learned how to shave? How lame.”

Jaehyun chuckles, “when did I ever need an extremely valid reason to see you?” The laughter falls short at his confession and in the midst of all this enthusiasm, you bid him the softest smile. His purpose has been fulfilled, as the best version of you he’s always known and loved stands before him at last.

“I guess... you’re right. What’s going to happen to you now?”

“I’ll always be here for Christmas, even when you’re old and grey surrounded by the warmth of your loved ones in front of a large, extravagant Christmas tree. When the snow falls, I’ll be here.” Jaehyun’s dimple smile is the lasting image you see, the one you’ve always hoped to remember him by.

“Merry Christmas, Jung Jaehyun… I--”

“Love you too, y/n. Merry Christmas.” He ushers you out the door with a small kiss on your knuckles.

That is the last time you ever see him again. Now, when the snow falls, it marks the anniversary of your long awaited healing, the journey to acceptance, and the beloved memory of your best friend. May you never lose the spirit of Christmas and the warmth from your loved ones.

#nct scenarios #neowritingsnet #nct-writers #neothestars #kpopscape #nct scenario #nct #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun #jung jaehyun #nct fluff #nct angst #nct imagines #jung jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun scenario

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mrpenguinpants · 4 years ago

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Venti and Diluc: Friendship HCs

Hi elliechan! I’ve already written friendship hcs for Venti but I never want to leave anyone hanging (unless the dupe request is incredible specific and I can’t add onto it anymore) so think of it as a part 2. But if you haven’t seen Part 1 yet, I added a link.

Also, I would like to credit fulltimeventisimp for helping me out with this fic. My monkey brain couldn’t think of anything for Venti but they gave me literally a fics worth of content. PLEASE IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY, MAKE IT AN ACTUAL FIC! I LOVED IT! I tried my best to not piggy back too hard off it but if it does seem that way, let me know and I’ll definitely change it.

But thank you 💕💕💕

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Part 1: Venti Frienship HCs

Xiao: Frienship HCs

[Masterlist]

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[taglist] <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@hanniejji @mikeysbike @unionwitch @musekala @sunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten

Venti and Diluc: Friendship HCs

Venti

The first time you met the bard, it was when you were visiting Mondstadt as a small pit stop. He was sat on top of some wooden boxes, next to an apple vendor, singing a short ballad. You’ve never encountered bards throughout your journey and he did have a lovely singing voice so you decided to stay a bit and listen in. It felt like the wind itself was carrying his voice throughout the streets but you couldn’t help but feel a bit...melancholy from his tune. Was it homesickness? You clapped with the crowd when the bard finished and on a whim, you decided to buy him a small bag of apples. He seemed to like them as he only asked the apple vendor to gift him two for his efforts. When you paid your purchase the bard seemed to be in a deep conversation with the same vendor that you didn’t want to disturb them, after all you weren’t going to be in Mondstadt for long. So you placed the small bag of apples beside the bard’s lyre with a quick thank you note, a couple extra coins, and continued on your journey.

You didn’t expect that small act of kindness would lead to anything but when you were preparing for bed, the same bard popped his head outside your window and almost gave you a heart attack. This bard was lucky he didn’t catch you while you were changing your clothes or else things might have turned ugly. He wanted to thank you for your generous donation which you simply waved off explaining that throughout your journey, you never met anyone that could sing quite like him. A small token of appreciation. Perhaps it was because you fed his ego too much or other reasons but that seemed to peak the bards interest and ask about what other fascinating places you’ve been too. You talked about the horrible mountain you needed to climb through to reach Mondstadt, the shining electro lamps of Inazuma that would spark if you got too close, to the clear pools and lotus heads in Liyue.

“You’ve been around all over the place! Perhaps you would allow me to write a ballad of your conquests?”

“Hm? Is that so? Why don’t you come with me? Go outside the walls of Mondstadt and explore. So you can write your own ballad instead of others.”

“Is this another acting whim of yours?”

“Haha, perhaps.”

Unsurprisingly, you don’t see the bard the next day. It was probably a lot to suddenly ask a stranger to drop everything and come with you to unknown places. But you decided to stay in Mondstadt for a short while and see what the City of Freedom had to offer. From meeting the supposed gliding champion and learning a few pointers, to the mysterious Calvary Captain who you were sure was probably the shadiest person you’ve ever met, to the aloof red headed tavern owner. You weren’t much of a drinker but everyone in Mondstadt, especially the knights, seemed to really enjoy their wine and were incredibly friendly to strangers. On the night you were planning to leave Mondstadt, the rowdy knights you’ve became friends with decided to celebrate and urge you to drink to your hearts content (please drink responsibly haha). You must have been a bit tipsy when you met the bard for a second time, introducing himself properly as Venti. You could blame it on the alcohol when you suddenly challenged him to a drinking contest but it was the most fun you had in a while. You were pretty sure everyone got kicked out but as you leaned against Venti absolutely hammered, laughing about the silliest things, it was the most freeing feeling you’ve ever felt.

From then on, even after you had left the City of Freedom, you could would randomly see Venti pop up sometimes. Should it be at Starsnatch Cliff or all the way in Wolvendom, you would see a few fluffy feathers appear as the bar- Venti announced his arrival. You were pretty sure Venti was bored whenever he visited you to see what you were up to but you didn’t mind. His liveliness nature was addicting and you were an easy going person. Though, some of the jokes he made, made you a bit suspicious of him. Whenever he would say that Andrius was secretly a grumpy mother hen or that Dvalin was actually a shy sweetheart.

“You sure do know a lot about Mondstadt. You sure you’re just a bard Venti?”

“Hmm, well it shouldn’t hurt to tell you. I am Barbatos. The Anemo Archon of Mondstadt. Pleasure to make your acquaintance..-again.”

“I see...and yet you still get ID checked?”

“Rude!”

Outside of Mondstadt, Venti is a whirlwind of emotions. Always wanting to see what’s changed or linking your hands and dragging you off to some far off chest he found. How did his small body have so much strength to nearly pop your arm out? He did come in handy during your Liyue expeditions since he can give you a small boost to just reach the top of that cliff. You thought violet grass was bad, it should be illegal for Qingxin flowers to grow on the very top of mountains. Venti thinks it’s really sweet that you put so much faith in his winds to let yourself fly when he uses his elemental skill. Though, it’s a bit of a double edged sword. When you finally reach the very top and you’re waiting for Venti to join you, he might pretend to loose control and throw himself off the cliff. You sometimes forget he’s literally the anemo archon and you’re ready to go gliding after him before he pops up in front of you to give you another scare. While he’s laughing, you’re already planning how to sneak slime condensate into his hat.

“You should have seen your face! I didn’t know you could scream like that! Liyue must think a banshee is haunting their mountains again!”

“Watch yourself gremlin, you might wake up without hands tomorrow.”

“Haha, you wouldn’t do that...right? How would you even do that? Why aren’t you saying anything?!”

“Isn’t there a saying in Liyue Venti? You can’t run from your debts? Prepare yourself.”

For as child-like Venti appears, you both end up getting into a bit of trouble when Venti get’s a bit too bold. While it’s incredibly refreshing to see someone speak their mind regardless of the consequences, you actually kind of admire him for that, usually the boldness comes from trying to bribe the bartender for free drinks. Your poor wallet is crying out every time Venti spots a new tavern. While he say’s he will pay you back or he’ll pay you back in a song, you can’t actually eat his words. But on other occasions you can’t help but join in when it happens to be one of the Fatui guards giving you both a hard time. You feel like you’re acting out a Shakespearian play with all the flowery nonsense and metaphors you’re both spitting out.

When you’re both in the thick of a forest or even on top of Liyue’s mountain, Venti will bring his lyre out and strum his strings softly as you both fall into a comfortable silence. Looking at the sunset or relaxing under the trees as the sun peaks through as you both live in the moment. It’s these times that you’re harshly reminded that Venti is an archon as he slips out of his persona and speaks as Barbatos. He tells you how fun your adventures have been, that he was glad to have made friends with you, speaking as if you’re about to die tomorrow. You’re not sure how to handle it, what kind of burden Venti is carrying, but you immediately drop everything and comfort him. Giving him a strong but warm hug that you’re still here and he’s not alone right now.

“Come on, I’m still waiting for the Ballad of Venti. You haven’t given up on that right?”

“Hmph, of course not. Every being deserves a name to be called upon, and woven into a song.”

Diluc

It was a peaceful day, one Diluc hadn’t felt in a long time in his hectic life. Though it was a bit too early to determine how the day would go since it was still noon. The tavern would soon get loud as it approached night but for now. Everything was peaceful. The sounds of Monstadt streets bustling. The peaceful atmosphere as the sun shone through the windows. Working on mundane tasks of wiping the counter down. No Kaeya in sight. A small moment of peace. All broken when his door was kicked nearly off its hinges as you announced your return from your shopping trip as if you had returned after a 3 year long journey. Diluc sighs under his breath, takes a moment to pray he doesn’t need to repair his door again, and helps you with your bags as you ramble about your day.

To others, it’s always seems a bit weird when they catch Diluc and you chatting since Diluc always gives off the lone wolf persona and yet you’re this ball of sunshine. Maybe it’s because you knew Diluc when he was a child, back when he was still bright-eyed, that you never treated him any differently when he came back. Diluc never really talks about it but he’s happy that you’re still the same and he can let himself relax with you. He still keeps his silent demeanor as he listens to you talk about anything and everything, it helps keeps his mind occupied, but he might add a few comments here and there. Just to let you know he’s still listening.

You know what sounds really hot? Sitting in the same room with someone while you both do your own respective thing. You both don’t feel forced to talk to each other just because you’re in the same room or you have to do everything together just because you’re together. It’s an easy atmosphere that settles as Diluc works on business papers and you’re planning your next expeditions. Until you end collapsing on his couch because your brain processing has suffered enough and it’s time to take a nap. You always end up dragging him out of his work to go outside and take a nice doze in the sun.

If you ever have a problem, he won’t necessarily coddle you unless it really bothers you or you’re in a situation where it could hurt you, but he’ll do everything to help you work through it. You’re his friend and if someone is giving you a hard time then he has no problem chasing them away, especially if its a Fatui member. If it happens to be Kaeya, well that’s an entirely different story. Likewise, if it appears to you that Diluc is going through a rough time you’ll try and comfort him. Do small little things to let him know that you care and while he doesn’t need to tell you what’s wrong, you’re here to support him.

Diluc enjoys playing chess against you, even if he wins most of the time, you’re always so determined that he can’t help but laugh along with your over reactions. Presenting him an entire 20 page paper on chess and yet getting checkmated in 10 turns. You’re 95% sure all the chess strategies he offered were all fake, if his smug grin is anything to go by. You both have agreed to never play darts together, well more specifically, you’re pretty sure you’re banned from playing darts when you almost hit Adelinde. That was the first time you ever genuinely feared for your life.

Whenever Diluc has to attend a gala or has to host a party to further his business, he’s always appreciative when you show up. You’re not exactly apart of royalty or even a business owner but it’s so refreshing to Diluc, after spending so much time keeping a polite attitude and trying to talk business, when he can come to you as you laugh about how one lady almost tripped because her dress was too long. Sometimes he’ll lean a bit on you or pretend to be in a conversation just so he can recharge.

More often then not, you’re mistaken to be Diluc partner even though the idea of holding Diluc’s hand makes you want to throw up. But when Diluc get’s random father’s trying to offer their daughter’s hands in marriage, he’ll pull the excuse he’s already with someone if they can’t no for an answer. It’s always funny to you, linking arms with Diluc and re-telling the grandiose story about how Diluc saved you from falling off a cliff when you were both younger and you were both star-crossed lovers that were destined to be together. Or something like that, you’re pretty sure you’ve changed the story enough times that you can’t keep track. But it seems to work and as soon as they are out of ear’s reach you make a quick gagging motion. He shoves you a bit to which you elbow him in the side. Old habits die hard.

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I swear, I could probably recite character stories word for word at this point. Gripping my writing hand don’t make it angsty, don’t make it angsty, don’t fucking do it. But I still did, whoops.

I feel like my fics are really long so I’ll add a read more tag. Mmm writing styles are hard. I don’t know if I like this;; I ended up writing so much to try and combine my “hcs are just another word for fics just without the dialogue” and “actual headcanons” styles. Ahh, well whatever. I have to go speedrun my assignments since genshin is going to eat all my time this week.

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keroseneinhalers · 4 years ago

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my favorite part of warrior cats is the grotesque story of squirrelflight, ashfur, and the extended cast of cats that sound like they came out of an ajj song

this gal named squirrelflight flirts with a guy named ashfur a few times. typical 80s romance song. its quick, its fleeting. squirrelflight gets together with brambleclaw. its all real lovely. brambleclaw gets promoted to leader after squirrelflights dad goes into retirement and makes his deputy the chief. brambleclaw is now bramblestar

(before the promotion and after the marriage, brambleclaw leads the entire 4 clans to a new territory. not relevant. he also stabs his brother in the neck with a tent stake)

and then squirrelflights sister leafpool, who is a medicine cat and sworn into celibacy, has sex with a guy from windclan named crowfeather. this is something all the cats are sworn not to do. double illegal.

crowfeather is a bit of a whore because he was previously in love with another girl who went on a magical journey with him when he was a child. (brambleclaw was there for that too. brambleclaw is eternal and everywhere) the girl crowfeather was in love with got impaled by a falling stalagmite while protecting a tribe of savage feral cats with names very similar to english translations of a few native american names i know. interesting. racist? there was a mountain lion involved

yeah so they have sex and leafpool gets pregnant. but since she did two crimes in one she gives the kids to squirrelflight and pretends they belong to her and brambelstar. theres an uncomfortable birthing scene because the kids decided to emerge from her cat uterus in the middle of a snowstorm. this is very telling of their characters after birth

theres three kids. jayfeather lionblaze and hollyleaf. jayfeather is very angry. lionblaze is angry but in a brave way. hollyleaf loves rules. they are a legendary trio

theres a thing about superpowers, and a prophecy or something. jay is sickly and blind and can see peoples thoughts. lionblaze never loses any fights, ever, and he maims ashfur a little while theyre trianing. hollyleaf doesnt have any powers, but she is absolutely obsessed with the warrior code and gets caught up with a guy named sol who says the world is gonna end. none of this is relevant except the "bootlicker hollyleaf" thing

ashfur is stewing. ashfur has been stewing for years now. long enough that they literally brought all 4 clans across the continent to a new territory kind of stewing. hes lonely. he misses the girl he was madly in love with, and shes married to the coolest guy in town. hes in agony. (over in windclan, crowfeather has a new girlfriend. manwhoring as long as he lives)

theres a big fire. thunderclans entire territory sets on fire. everyone is escaping, except for squirrelflight and her three kids. jayfeather, lionblaze, and hollyleaf, who is contemplating becoming an antivaxxer or something

imagine this: a clearing on the edge of a pit. the pit is where the cats live. everything is on fire around this clearing. there is one log running across the clearing, and squirreflight and her fake kids are going along it to escape. theyre the last out

ashfur appears he stands at the other end of the log. hes pissed. hes crying. he hates squirrelflight. he hates her so much. his rage is all consuming, like the fire that burns around them. he says he wants her in as much pain as possible, and he knows how: taking the only thing she loves in this world. her 3 kids

we all know something ashfur doesnt. the kids arent hers. squirrelflight, though non an omnipresence, is gifted with this knowledge herself.. she sees ashfurs twisted evil mind and tells him, flat out that they arent hers. she doesnt love them. he can kill them, they mean nothing to her. they are, after all, just her sister leafpool's. why would she care for them?

ashfur is stunned. he gives up. he leaves. squirrelflight and her three kids leave. its a bit awkward. imagine the thanksgiving dinner table after a particularly bad argument. thats all this is really

anyways. hollyleaf is broken from this. shes the daughter of a medicine cat and a manwhore from a clan that only eats rabbits. she cant take it. much like ashfur, she snaps

there are these big clan meetings, once every month. everyone goes, except the old people and the dying people and the kids who just want juiceboxes and lunchables. thunderclan is heading out to the Meeting Island. they find a body in the river. surprise! its ashfur

they go on to the gathering despite finding the body of one of their finest, most mentally haunted warriors polluting the stream with the blood seeping out of his slit throat. the three kids are there. squirrelflight is there. leafpool is there. bramblestar is there

this story has very weird heathers energy to me. its there, but it isnt coherant. like a bad remix of 100 gecs, sort of. this part is no exception

hollyleaf runs up to the big tree the clan leaders stand on and monologue. shes not allowed to do this. perhaps the sense that she lost her identity with her illigitimate birth turned into something real, that the warrior code didnt matter anymore. perhaps she was just tired of being kind; she wanted to go apeshit

she confesses. to two things. number one - the muderder of ashfur. how tragic. number two - leafpool. leafpools affar with crowfeather. squirrelflights lies to her for her entire life. theres chaos. thunderclan is like stan twitter after a minecraft youtuber said something racist 8 years ago. the 3 other clans are trying desperately to get in on this drama. the hot tea of the hour if you will

hollyleaf says her share. she runs away. lionblaze and jayfeather chase after her all the way back to the thunderclan territory. she yells at them. she runs into a tunnel and gets crushed by rocks. thats the end. shes dead.

jk jk that was a lie shes alive and shes living in a huge cave system with a ghost cat. remember the native american coded mountain tribe? yeah, they had ancestors. the ancestors lived at the territory the 4 clans moved to after squirelflight flirted with ashfur and before she got together with bramblestar. they used to drown little kids in the tunnels. jayfeather is the entire reason why the ancestors moved to the mountains and became the racist mountain tribe. i wont explain the timeline of this, and i dont think i could if i tried

up above hollyleafs slowburn romance with a transparent cat, theres a new girl with superpowers. prophecy fulfilled yadda yadda. her sister is annoyed that she isnt #quirky and so she joins a fighting cult run by the cats in hell. i cannot stress this enough its literally every cat from the 50 some books before this who went to hell. they have an army of children. theyre training them. the sister kills one of her classmates and becomes equals with the hell cats. my second favorite plotline in the series

the hell cats come to the land of the living. the sister betrays them. theres a big battle, and its supposed to be the end of the series but you know theyre gonna continue it for at least 20 more books. (they did). hollyleaf appears, and i dont think its ever explained how or why. but shes back, and she joins the battle. everyones too busy with the literal hell cats to care much about some kid with a body count of 1 appearing randomly

hollyleaf fights a bit. she gets mauled to death. thats the end. its just over. she dies and she doesnt come back. rip to a queen

i think my biggest question besides why would someone create this ad continue to do so for fifty plus books, is how the fuck brambleclaw stabbed his brother with a tent stake when he literally doesn’t even have hands. what.

#hollyleaf was a queen gone too soon #thank you for telling the plot of all fifty books i can finally know #warrior cats spoilers #maybe?#would anyone who follows me actually have that tagged?#long post

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heroesandlovers · 3 years ago

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Nancy Drew 3x09 "The Voices in the Frost"

This run of episodes are my favorite! Things with #Nace are simmering.

George, Bess, Nick and Eve

Bess is avoiding Temperance’s calls. She has done a 180 with Temperance and now suspects her of being a “sociopath”. While Nancy seems to have become more trusting.

George tells Nick that she has freed Odette (didn’t that happen like 3 episodes ago?). This somehow turns into a fight between them. These two do NOT portray healthy vibes to me.

Eve tells her story and why she is suspected of murder. Perhaps coming off her skeptism of Temperance, Bess spends most of the episode CONVINCED that Eve is actually guilty. (Once Ace is looped in) they ultimately figure out it WAS just an accident. All of this ALSO leads to Nick telling George “What are we waiting for…let’s get married!” - These two 🤦‍♀️

They run to City Hall. George is determined and excited. Relentless in ensuring this marriage will happen despite any barrier. But then…after commercial break she seems to have done a full 180.

She tells Nick she is still figuring out who she is..but that she wants to do it with him by her side. They have all the time in the world now to get married so what is the rush?

THESE TWO GIVE ME WHIPLASH

Nancy, Ace, and Park

Nancy appeals to Park to try and profile the victims of the Frozen Heart Killer to see if they can try and find the other two pieces of Charity’s soul.

Ace thinks he has made a breakthrough and that Charity is the one who has been haunting the Historical Society. Park and Ace have a little banter.

“Ace that’s incredible”- I love how proud she is. If you watch this scene and focus on just Nancy. She appears to spend the whole time amused and enamored of Ace.

Ace has a conversation with his platanchor Bess who clues him in on why Park is rubbing him the wrong way. “You know that hot stuffy feeling you have right now? That might be because the window between you and Nancy is closing and you’re finally realizing it.

Because Ace is always the gentleman and thinking of others, he gets separated from Park and Nancy when he goes to get their coats.

While stuck in the tunnel, Park surmises that the Copperhead had actually imprisoned HIMSELF in the cell. He asks Nancy to try and get in the Copperhead’s head by asking “Have you ever been in love?” Their musings lead them to surmise that perhaps it was Beckett and Charity’s love for each other that had cast the spell, as a way for their love to survive and persist. A sort of lover’s pact.

“So you have been in love”- Park says as Nancy presents her explanation of “They just want to be together forever”.

We immediately go to Ace.

At the end of the ep, Nancy has a revelation that maybe Charity’s soul is passed, not randomly, but through generations. Meaning they can narrow down their search for Charity’s soul by looking at Gettysburg descendants.

AND…Ace sends the text. (MY ship is rising). Ace’s awkwardness after sending the text but before Nancy sees it is adorable…

And Nancy's hopeful expression when she sees the text is equally adorable 🥰

Episode cliffhangers:

Bess finds Temperance’s journals and learns her true plans (WHY WAS TEMPERANCE RECORDING THIS ANYWAY?)

While investigating the key, Ace gets sucked into the liminal space…where he finds Hannah.

Aceisms

“Because the FBI is notoriously open-minded about ghosts”

#ace nancy drew #nancy drew reviews #nancydrew #nancy drew #nancy x ace #nace #ace nd #nancy drew season 3 #nancy drew meta

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stories-by-rie · 3 years ago

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Chapter 1 - Heart of Silver

Evelyn turns to the infamous curse-broker Ariel for help, after she got cursed by a dead granny’s fork.

words: 3763 || masterlist

Despite the late summer, the air had grown cold with the night’s storm. The wind was blowing the rain drops harshly against Evelyn’s coat and the persistent noise of its dripping onto her hood mixed with the ringing sound in her ears. With the anxiety that threatened to overflow, she shivered. Even if her hood saved her from the worst, she had to hold it in place with one hand so the wind wouldn’t blow it off. Now, that hand was wet, cold and shook even more than the rest of her body. Tripping from one foot to the other did nothing to bring her warmth or to disperse the gnawing threat of doom inside her chest.

Once again, she pulled out her phone. The fourth of September, 22:34, a Thursday, no new notifications, battery at eleven percent. Raindrops landed on the bright screen and distorted the picture of a flower field in irregular splashes. From the upper right corner, lines like spider legs drew through them.

Frustration settled in her, taking coin-sized bites. Her eyes flicked over to the doorbell again -- she had rung two times already -- maybe a third time would be all right? She knew that Ariel was home, so if they hadn’t opened the door after two times, a third ring wouldn't make them either.

Still.

Just as Evelyn was about to press the bell again, the door opened slightly, barely enough for her to make contact with one eye.

“Why didn’t you text me that you’d come?”

“I did. You haven’t read it yet.”

Ariel pulled out their old flip phone, dipping their glasses into bright white reflections, and skimmed through what had to be a real handful of messages.

“Ah. Oh. Hm.” They stared at a message for a while before they looked up to Evelyn again, opened the door a bit wider. “There will be a sale for winter tyres down in the old factory on the main road next week.”

Evelyn was too stunned to answer anything but, “Ariel, you don’t drive. You don’t have a car.”

“That’s true.”

“It’s summer.”

“Are you sure?” Ariel looked at the rainy night sky, and squinted their eyes.

“Listen, Ariel. I wrote in my message-”

“Yeah, I read your message. So what?” They looked up at Evelyn again, closed the door a bit more to shelter from the rain.

“I didn’t know who else to ask.” Her voice sounded a bit thin to her own ears then, the uncertainty growing with each passing minute. But she had held on for hours now, and it didn’t feel like she had it in herself to hold on for much longer.

Ariel scoffed. “Yeah. Obviously, asking anyone but me would be foolish, but I am really busy, you know? A curse is a curse, you should just let it run its course. I am not some sort of all-purpose antidote.”

Evelyn managed to put her foot in the door before Ariel shut it.

“Please? Listen, no one knows curses as well as you do. I am afraid I don’t have that long and I absolutely can’t do this by myself.”

With both hands against the door, the wind had enough freedom to rob her of her hood, so it drenched her within seconds, stung on her skin like a hundred little needle pricks.

“There’s just a handful of curses that more or less kill. You want me to believe that you got one of those? Do you know how hard that is? What would be in it for me?” Ariel eyed her suspiciously. All Evelyn did was to pull up her sleeves as far as possible. Where the skin was thinner and fairer, the black veins stood in sharp contrast to her body, shimmering in a dark grey. Ariel’s eyes widened in surprise and excitement.

“A Heart of Silver? How far has it spread?” They grabbed her wrist.

“It’s in my whole blood-stream,” Evelyn replied and pushed her hair from her temples where her veins were just as black. Ariel looked up with an ‘ah’ on their lips and then let go of her wrist again.

“So, I’d get the reaping?”

“It’s all I could offer.”

“Say, if we fail and you’ll be a silver statue, can I keep you then? Put you in the corner of my kitchen?”

“This is not funny, Ariel.”

“That’s a yes then. Fine. Come in.” They opened the door enough for Evelyn to step through. Instantly, they were caught in this different world of theirs. She was quite certain that Ariel had put a curse on their own apartment somehow that captured the people who walked in, but so far she did not have evidence to support that theory.

Books towered against the walls everywhere. There was a pot with an enormous fern right in the middle of the hallway. Not a single lamp was lit, and Evelyn could not shake the feeling that it was to hide the shadows of some ghosts living there as well. Perhaps it was the people the not-yet-proven-curse trapped inside of it.

“You must tell me everything,” Ariel mumbled while pulling out a few books out of their stacks, seemingly randomly.

“So, I got an unexpected call from a granny in the morning. She asked me to help with a haunting. I thought I could just handle a simple ghost. You know that I am good with ghosts.” Evelyn tried to follow them, focusing more on not tripping over most likely enchanted vases, gemstones, and one array that hopefully was not used to curse the apartment.

“I am quite aware, that’s why I don’t like you coming over.”

Or maybe the array was drawn to specifically keep her out, who knew.

“So, I drove over in the afternoon. Just one old granny and a ghost. There is a nice magnolia tree in the garden. It’s next to the old school that’s half covered in ivy and the neighbours complain about it all the time because they think it’s weed, although ivy is very useful with old houses for climatic purposes-” Distinctly, she noticed how she started to ramble, her tongue too fast for her mind to catch up on.

“Please, for the love of the currently absent blood in your veins, cut yourself short,” Ariel thankfully interrupted and pushed the door to the kitchen open. Evelyn tried very hard to calm herself down with a few measured and calculated breaths, focused on the red lava lamp on the windowsill instead. Multiple candles were lit on the table and next to them slept her black cat whose name Evelyn had never learnt. She only knew her as a beast, my evil gremlin, an annoying menace, YOU!, and the apple of my eye. Currently, the proximity to the candles was once again anxiety inducing.

Ariel pointed at one of the chairs, so Evelyn sat down and forced herself to keep talking, wiped some of the rain out of her face, along with her sticky bangs that hung in her eyes.

“The granny didn’t have money to pay, which is fine, you know I like to help where I can, right? And she had this very evil looking set of silverware in her kitchen drawer, so I started to work on it and she kept rambling about how I had a heart of silver -- which was already a bit weird, I guess, since usually it’s a heart of gold, right? -- but at that moment, I thought she was just old and confused because I was working for free, right? Well, until I poked my finger on a fork and that’s when it happened.”

“Was that the short version?”

“I left out a lot of detail.”

The coffee machine beeped and Ariel filled the matching cups. They slid one with big bold yellow letters over to Evelyn that read Best Curse Victim, and kept the one with Best Curse Broker In The Whole Wide World.

“Did you custom-make these?” Evelyn asked and Ariel set down the two cups with a grin. They knew that Evelyn preferred tea, but, Tea is for curses and rituals, you can’t make me drink hot water with leaves, they liked to argue.

Ariel raised an eyebrow at her quizzically. “I assume the granny then turned out to be a ghost?”

“She apparently had died over three months ago, yes.”

There was a deep sigh coming from Ariel as they put up their feet onto the table, dangerously close to the candles.

“And never once while working on silverware and getting praised for your silver heart did you consider the option that perhaps you were getting cursed?”

“Ghosts get better at hiding themselves each day, Ariel,” Evelyn replied with multiple glances to the shadows. Ariel only offered a weak smile and nodded while they pushed the books into the middle of the table, tapped on it with their sparkly painted fingernails.

“I have fourteen books on the Heart of Silver, all very rare collections from back when curse-brokers still thought that this classy beast was curable. I also have read all of these fourteen books.” Ariel took a sip from their coffee and grabbed another pair of glasses that were tucked into a pot of parsley on the windowsill next to the lava lamp. They pushed their former golden glasses up into their soft pink dyed hair.

Last time they had met, it had been deep purple. They had tried to make her believe once that it was tied to their moods, like those 90s mood rings of which they wore three. “Obviously, I read all the books you can find in this apartment, I wouldn’t keep anything that just took up space.” They opened the right page on the first try and slid the book over to Evelyn. The pages were blank.

“The pages are blank.”

“Ah, right. I put a curse on them. No one steals books you can’t read, am I right? Here,” they slid over the glasses to Evelyn, and once she put them on, black letters appeared on the blank pages. Just none she could read.

“I don’t speak that language, Ariel.”

“Ah, it’s just encrypted.”

Evelyn sighed deeply and put the glasses down again. She warmed her icy fingers on the coffee cup in front of her, the bitter smell of it made her jittery enough.

“Please, can you just tell me what you know about it? I am certain that you know your curses, you don’t have to prove anything by showing me book excerpts I can’t read anyway.”

Ariel smirked openly then, their eyes clearly tracing the black lines on her skin where the liquid silver was running through her veins.

“The Heart of Silver is a curse that dates back all the way to the sixteenth century. That ultimately makes it a curse of the black night level, because we don’t know its origin anymore, so understanding it has become as good as impossible. Legends say that it was just another love story, though. Why it is a heart of silver and not of gold is equally unclear. Perhaps they didn’t know any better. Then again, a Heart of Gold curse already exists, so. Anyway, the story says that one woman, got jealous of her maid. The maid, being kind-hearted, was just too lovely to her husband, you see. So when that woman died she cursed her maid on her deathbed and said something along the lines of With your heart made of silver, you still won’t be worth enough to appeal to him. Maybe you could feed his greed by turning into actual silver instead.” They took another sip of coffee, taking out another book from the stack on the table and flipping a page open. “How the curse is passed on is totally unclear as well, although, as you might have noticed, contact with silver seems to be one determinant, as well as someone actually cursing you, also known as a ghost. But why and how? No one knows.”

“Not even you?” Evelyn asked, feeling punched out. She pulled the new book closer, putting on the glasses again, and there they were. The photos with the evidence that this curse existed. That it was more than just a rumour, a scary story told to teach children not to steal. Proof that her mind wasn’t playing tricks on her; that she had understood the situation of her own doom correctly.

A silver statue of a man, the face too realistic to be art, distorted in a scream. His arms were outstretched, all around him scrolls of parchment. 1982, Vienna.

A silver statue of an old woman, sleeping in her bed. She looked much more peaceful, but her brows were drawn together, giving her discomfort away. 1864, Kuressaare.

A teenage boy, locked inside a dark room with handcuffs tied to the walls, screams on his silver lips. 2003, Hildesheim.

Evelyn didn’t need to look at more of them. It just made her picture herself as one more of these photos. A corpulent young woman, the face silver but clearly pleading for her life-

“Does it hurt? Do you know?”

“Not sure, sorry. Would it help if you knew?” Ariel looked directly at her then, the soft pink hair glimmering red from the lamp, the candles’ lights dancing on her glasses.

“Probably not.”

“Then let’s try to make it so that you don’t have to find out. But just to be clear, I will take notes on the curse’s progress, for scientific purposes.” They pulled a notebook out from under their coffee cup.

“Sure.”

Ariel grinned and drummed with their golden painted nails onto the table.

“Soon I will be the first curse-broker to have dealt with the Heart of Silver. Everyone will know my name. Maybe someone will finally publish my book. My google reviews will skyrocket!”

“You always say a truly good curse-broker gets only bad reviews. And that book doesn’t get published because you describe for three hundred pages how to create various curses. ”

“That’s because if you want to deal with curses, you need to understand them from the inside out first. Also, creating curses can be fun, I promise.”

With a glimpse to the shadows, Evelyn nodded in slight agreement. Unease found its way back to her, like an intrusive thought stuck to her skin. The more she listened to her body, the more she felt like it had changed. She was sure to feel the silver in her veins, believed that her body had gotten heavier – was silver heavier than blood? She was sure that her skin had gotten harder where it ran through her.

“You still there?” Ariel waved before her eyes, nearly poked her, but Evelyn flinched back before they got to. She finally took a sip of her own coffee. The bitterness made her squirm but at least she was able to still taste it.

“So, if the books are all useless, as you say, then where do we start?”

“Well, as I said, if you want to deal with curses, you have to know them from the inside out. Only if I know how you got it in the first place, I will have a chance at extracting it and exchanging it for a different one. A curse is a near-living thing, after all. If I just rip it out, it might do more damage than aid. I need to know why you fit in its scheme, how it develops inside of you. So I would say we should start with the ghost who put that curse on you, since that granny might be able to answer those questions, but I assume you hunted the shit out of that ghost, didn’t you?”

Evelyn froze as she remembered the exchange, the prospect of a new curse. She gave her best not to tremble too much as she asked, “The new curse-”

“I can’t tell you what it will be yet.”

“But how-”

“Okay, I’ll give you the short explanation. Any curse corrupts its host. Your body lets it nest inside of it, and usually you will let the curse run its course until it’s fulfilled or withered and the space will grow back. More or less. If I have to extract the curse, the space will be hollow and harm your body and mind. It leaves room for possessions, diseases and much more. So instead I extract the awful curse and give you a new one that is slightly less awful. But in order to do that, the new curse needs to fill out the same space. I need to understand both curses to the T, so that this procedure works. That’s also why I can’t tell you anything about the new curse yet, because I need to understand the Heart of Silver first. Got it?”

Evelyn nodded, a little as if in a daze.

“So, the granny?”

“Gone, yes.” Evelyn sighed deeply. “I didn’t think that she would be of help. I just saw her as a ghost and sent her off.”

“The mark?”

“Just the silver veins, they started in the hand with which I touched the fork.”

“Mn. It looks like it has spread completely since then. That doesn’t need to mean anything, though.” Ariel wrote down notes in a book, the pen’s ink invisible to Evelyn’s eyes.

“When exactly was this?”

“Somewhen between five and six, this evening.”

Ariel wrote down more notes, far more than Evelyn had said, so she could only assume that those were some curse related conclusions. After a few minutes, Ariel had emptied their second cup of coffee. At this point, they looked up again and pressed their lips together.

“I would like to see the curse medium then. You don’t happen to still have that fork?”

Evelyn shook her head, “I assume it’s still in the house, though. I saw the police wrapping everything up as well, so we should be alone there.” She forced the rest of her coffee down her throat, ignoring how it upset her stomach just a moment later. Ariel nodded and got up, carrying the two cups over to the sink.

“Well, then. Let’s get going, shall we?” They nodded towards the door and Evelyn went to follow them. Before Ariel closed the kitchen door, she looked back. “Shouldn’t you blow out your candles? Your cat is so close and-”

“Oh, I cursed the candles, don’t worry. They don’t burn anything. I feel a little bad for doing it, though. Imagine being a fire and then the only thing you can burn is candle wax. So sad.”

They reached the door and Evelyn stopped once more in her tracks.

“Do you really want to leave like that?” she asked and looked down Ariel’s onesie with ghost-print.

“Oh, right, shoes,” they answered, fetching a pair of run down converse, not bothering to tie the laces. They tucked them in and pointed to the door. “Now?”

But Evelyn still felt like they had forgotten something important. Something they needed to consider before they left. Maybe it was just her fear of entering that house again where she had gotten cursed in the first place, the fear of not finding what they needed to. The fear that she would so utterly fail in the quest of saving her life, of destroying the curse. It was too close to past memories, perhaps. The image of the old lady dissipating into thin air as she sent her off still lingered in her mind, and she couldn’t help but see herself in that place.

“Ah, of course,” Ariel mumbled, pulled out a single hair from Evelyn and burnt it in the candle standing next to the door. “My mistake.” They waved to the outside, and finally Evelyn found the strength to walk again.

“So you did curse your own apartment!”

“Nonsense, I never said that,” Ariel replied with a grin and the rain poured down on them once more. Like needles, it pricked on her skin. If she turned into a silver statue, she would never feel it again. They ran to her old Corolla, parked so very badly in line.

“You know, those winter tires are really cheap now. You should get them as long as they are affordable. I bet they will be much pricier once it’s winter.”

“Gotta make it to winter first,” Evelyn muttered and turned on the motor. The radio gave white noise – a side effect of getting cursed, or maybe just a coincidental break-down.

“So pessimistic. Really, you’re insufferable.” Ariel started to play snake on their phone.

The way to the old house was quiet except for the occasional white noise when the radio came to life unasked. The road was mostly deserted at the late hour, some street lights only blinked yellow already. It was not until she turned on the road to leave the small city that Ariel shifted in the front seat.

“Where were you the whole last year, Evelyn?” Their voice was softer now. The phone tucked inside their pocket. With a quick glance, she could see that they looked outside. Of course, they would ask. Evelyn had known that. Despite this, she still didn’t know what to answer. How to say the words to Ariel that she could hardly think to herself.

“I just… I was not so well.” A kind euphemism for lying in bed all day, ignoring her calls and living off of pizza and instant noodles.

“We could have really used you then. There was that Undine in the sink of that favourite restaurant of yours. Took three of us to get her out of there. You could have probably managed her yourself.” A harsh way to say that she had been missed. A nice way to say that Ariel was hurt.

“I’m sorry.” Lousy words. They would not make up for letting her friends down. Not really.

“It’s fine, you don’t have to apologize.” She had to, though. She really had to.

Evelyn pulled into the street, the utmost street of the small-town. One could see the forest behind it from here. At the end of the street stood an old house, next to the old school that was covered in ivy.

“I just wanted you to know that you’re needed, even if you think you aren’t. Or I don’t know… Ah, you know.” Words were hard for Ariel, too. But Evelyn thought she understood them, and nodded with a slight smile. It had been like that between them from the beginning, somehow.

----

WIP intro || masterlist || next chapter

#writeblr #novella #my writing #original fiction #fantasy #urban fantasy #ghosts #curses #wip; heart of silver #heart of silver chapter 1 #tw body horror #tw depression #tw death mention #not really body horror but also not not body horror but no spooky if that clears it up x)

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iscream4clones · 4 years ago

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HELLO COULD U DO SOEMTHING FOR UHHHHHHHHH SAD READER WITH REX I LOVE YOY

**so this fic literally disappeared for a week and then randomly appeared in my drafts??? Merry Christmas miracle I guess???**

So I haven’t written anything in over a month so this is going to be really rusty and probably really short I’m so sorry. But I love you too <3

This got super deep so I’m actually putting a warning on this

CONTENT TRIGGER WARNING: Deep/confusing/poetic descriptions of depression and anxiety. I kinda dug into my own brain for these descriptions, so I apologize if they don’t make sense.

You both would never get used to it, but it has always been expected. With each passing month the war raged on with no end in sight. More shinies arrived, and less of the experienced returned home. No matter the length of Rex’s missions, they were always grueling and draining for both of you - Rex because of what he experienced on the field, and for you, it was the anxiety of wondering if this was the mission he never returned from.

Rex and yourself did your absolute best to stay in contact while he was away, but due to the nature of war, it was often difficult. You never blamed him or felt mistreated when there were unread messages and missed coms, but it always felt like a stab in the gut. Was he busy or dead? Much of your relationship during these times was a waiting game.

This time, however, Rex had been very quick and frequent with his replies and calls back to you. Your conversations were lighthearted and it was a good distraction for both of you while chaos ruled the galaxy in the distance between each of you. I can promise I will be home this time, and soon, Rex stated before he wished you goodnight. He would message you first thing in a morning, though it was an unspoken promise that he always would.

Rex was aware, when you had some time off from your own work, you stole the opportunity to sleep in late. But many hours had passed since his morning greeting, and you hadn’t even read it. Again and again he peeked at his com, hoping you simply had a late start to the day or got busy. Before he knew it, evening arrived for him and there was still nothing from you. He shut himself away in his tent, meditating in silence over a screen that would not glow with your name for many more days.

He had been correct about having a slow morning, though you didn’t experience much of it. Not even bothering to check the time or your com, you remained in bed for what seemed like an eternity. There was a stillness about your apartment that brought with it an ringing that haunted your conscious. The walls and the ceilings were all that seemed to keep your body from severing its ties with your mind. Bu the numbness in your limbs and chest made you believe otherwise.

Your process of waking played out like stop motion animation. Every breath, every flex of your muscles, felt like it cost another cell of your sanity. Even your muscle memory was shot; as you stood below the steady stream of water from your shower head, you had no idea how or when you got there, or if you had even grabbed the soap. When you stepped out, you did not dare look at yourself in the mirror.... you weren’t even sure of there would be anyone there to look back.

You knew what this was by the only thing that reminded you -the only evidence of your being alive - the ache in your chest. It ruled over you, directed you, silenced your thoughts and your needs, became the lord of your kingdom of pain so cold it burned. The throne of which your heart rested was now nothing more than a pile of splinters, piercing it’s walls with every beat.

You hated this place, what it did to you, but when one left the windows open at night, trouble would eventually make its way in. Behind the back of trouble, you did your best to search for the window, to grasp its locks and pull it tightly shut. If only you could wipe these blinding dreams from your eyes, you could find it better.

Rex knew what this was by the sheer ringing silence that echoed from his empty messages. He knew you could hear it too, but that it would be much louder, more persistent, on your end. It wasn’t his absence that caused this in you, he was well aware, but it roused a panic in him when it happened while he was thousands and thousands of miles away.

Just a moment, Commander.

He led himself away from the group and opened up his comm to send a voice message.

He hoped a moment would be enough.

The blip, the ringing, went right over your head. They weren’t important, they could mean anything.

But his voice? It was enough to wake the part of you that had the power to break the spell. You listened.

“Y/n, I hope you can hear me. It’s Rex... I- uh, I only have a few minutes, so pay attention.

Cyar’ika, I’m guessing you’re having another episode. It’s been a few days since I heard from you, and I recognize the pattern. I’m not sending this because I’m angry, I’m sending this because I just want you to know that I love you.

We are about to board ship, and I’ll be halfway home before a day passes. I repeat- I will be home soon.

Don’t worry about sending me any messages, or about cleaning the apartment, or making dinner. I know it’s hard right now and I don’t expect anything from you. I’ll take care of everything when I get back.

My only request is that you stay alive, and I will see you when I get home. We can work it out from there.

Again... I love you. Even when you’re hurting. Please take care, cyar’ika.”

You sat down. You were at the kitchen table.

Stay alive? You could manage that.

Taglist: @the-mandalorian-clone-lover @bad-batch-of-fics @simping-for-fives @nelba @captainrexstan @ahsokatano-thetogruta @sunburstcody @leias-left-hair-bun @fractiouskat @majorshiraharu @arc-troops @artemis61003 @mackstrut @captainrexwouldnever @captainrexisboo @your-clone-boyfriend

#captain rex x reader #captain rex #captain rex x oc #captain rex x you #captain rex x y/n #rex x reader #rex #swtcw #depression #anxiety #mental health

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mofieroll · 4 years ago

Text

You Too (Jotaro Kujo x Fem!Reader)

Inspired from my in-character interaction with @mistaeq! Dedicated to them for motivating me to write! 💛

A Post!SDC Jotaro x Reader one shot where you bond with Holly, who you call Seiko, and pamper your man Jotaro.

Trigger Warning: Mentions of Trauma

Word Count: 3k

Two years have passed since the events of the Crusaders' trip to Egypt to save the life of Holly Kujo from being taken by her own Stand. To say that the trip was memorable is an understatement. It was too memorable. The memories of built friendships and increased attachments in just a span of fifty days were unbearable, for fate made the surviving comrades of the group pay for all the joyous moments with the pain of death and eternal separation.

It was hard. Painful. Frightening. Heartbreaking.

It was excruciatingly traumatizing, that even the boy who appeared to be unbothered and distant, the boy who put an end to the cold-blooded century old vampire's curse, couldn't deny it.

Jotaro Kujo couldn't get away from the memories of his dying friends, and so, the supposed flashbacks became inescapable nightmares.

But fortunately, that was until you came.

You met Jotaro a month after he came back from his trip. The meeting was a mere coincidence as you were a year lower than him, you personally did not and had no intentions of getting to know him. It just so happened that Holly or Seiko, his mother, came across your small shop that sold self-designed accessories made from recycled materials. You had told her you search and pick the materials —mostly trash— yourself, which certainly piqued the woman's interest and told you, “Is that right? I have a son, and don't tell him I told you this, but he loves marine animals! It seems you are both fond of nature so I'm sure you'll get along— Oh! I'm sorry dear, we haven't introduced ourselves! I'm Holly Kujo, but you can call me Seiko~”. She was a sweetheart, so you saw no harm in accepting her offer that led you to become a close acquaintance of the Kujo Family.

Much to the matchmaker's Seiko's dismay, it took a year for you and Jotaro to confess that your platonic feelings are in need of a level up. She is Jotaro's mother and your first Kujo friend, of course she'd notice if something was up between you and Jotaro that you both refused to talk about! When you finally re-introduced yourself as Jotaro's.. cough.. girlfriend, Seiko was delighted and decided to treat her second favorite couple (next to her parents Joseph and Suzie) to a nice romantic dinner! The unplanned date embarrassed Jotaro, but he endured it as it gave a good start for the new level of your relationship with him.

Until then, Jotaro became more and more protective. You found it sweet knowing that your boyfriend, former acquaintance, cares about you and shows affection in ways you quite expected for a forbearing man like him. He's not a man of words nor materialistic gifts but a man of straightforward actions— yet he remained mysterious.

Jotaro has been avoiding you since the week has started. He distanced himself yet guarded you as you walked home after class everyday. Everytime you tried to catch him, he's nowhere to be seen. You started to get frustrated, and you know you wouldn't get any explanation even if you corner him and face him alone.

Seiko called you today and asked if you could have dinner wih them, which you excitedly agreed to because you were actually on the way to the Kujo household, a paper bag —which contained your newly designed rings and necklace— in hand.

With Seiko greeting you outside their gates, you entered their traditional mansion and told her about the happenings from the previous days. Even with the mention of Jotaro's sudden actions, Seiko chatted with you nonchalantly.

“Dear, you know my boy would do things that can be a little too unexpected even for me,” Seiko stated, “But if there's one thing or two that I can assure of, is that he means no harm..” You stopped in your tracks as she faced you and tucked your hair behind your ear, smiling, “And he cares for you, [Y/N]. I think, that may be his way of showing it!” Seiko spoke with softness, hopeful that her words would reach you and get rid of any confusion that would spark a misunderstanding on her stoic son's intentions.

You smiled back at Seiko with teary eyes, touched by her comfort. You pulled out the necklace from your paper bag and showed it to her, quietly telling her that it's your gift, only to receive an enthusiastic squeal and hug before you locked the accessory around her neck.

“It looks perfect on you Seiko! I wonder if I'd be as beautiful as you when I reach your age..” You sighed and pouted at Seiko, holding the paper bag on your middle.

“Oh, you!” Seiko playfully hit you as you both giggled, “You shouldn't say such things to a middle aged woman, [Y/N]! I might believe you!” Seiko joked while you insisted that you're sincere about your compliment.

Your chat continued on until she told you to run along and check on her boy, not forgetting to tease that Jotaro misses you. You face warmed in pink, which Seiko found so cute that she had to pinch your cheeks. With her positive and welcoming presence, your determination to face Jotaro fueled.

Seiko informed you that she'll be preparing dinner. You replied, “Mhm! I'll drag Jotaro and we'll meet you here at the dining room! Is that okay?”

“Okay~!”

—

Meanwhile Jotaro, who hasn't come out of his room the whole day, heard you and Seiko pass by. He was sitting in the far corner of his room but the combined voices of yours and his mother's particularly blasted through his ears. He's.. happy.. that you're both safe and sound.. but— why are you here? You should be at home! Did something happen? Did someone bother you? Wait.. did you come here alone? Didn't he tell you even before that you shouldn't go out at night? What if.. what if something happened to you? What if someone showed up and.. and took you away? Took you somewhere.. he can't reach.. What if his dreams were to happen? What if—

Knock! Knock!

Jotaro's sweating face turned to look at his door as his breathing became more unsteady. His eyes widened, brows clashed, and his mouth was agape, gasping for more air. His fists were clenched and he was trembling, who's knocking? Who's trying to get him again?

“Kujo?”

Jotaro stopped breathing for a second while his body still trembled. The voice that called him held sweetness and concern in it but he was still in a dark trance. What if someone's trying to deceive him?

“Seiko called me, may I come in?”

His widened eyes calmed, turning his tormented expression into one of those longingness. His shuddering arm reached out as he subconsciously stood and walked towards his shut door. His cold hand gripped the handle.. but he didn't have the slightest strength to pull it himself. What is he doing? He can't face anyone like this, especially..

On the other side of Jotaro's door was you, with a hand that also gripped the cold handle, waiting for the right timing to enter. Your heartbeat has increased its pace, indicating your uptight feeling of facing him after not seeing him for over a week. You were nervous and a short flashback of your first meeting with Jotaro popped up in your mind. Has it really been two years?

Jotaro never directly told you of his.. episodes. But, there were times where you just happened to observe that whenever you were late on your meeting, he immediately scoops you in a hug while he trembles; or whenever you randomly visit him on weekends and you enter his room only with a knock, he abruptly charges at you with his folded fist stopping inches from your worried face. He didn't tell you about what's haunting him, not even once. Yes, you were undeniably frustrated by him avoiding you, but you love him well enough to have the willingness to act up whilst having patience.

You waited for more minutes before speaking again, “I'm gonna enter now, alright?” You assured, carefully sliding the door behind you and turning on the light switch after you entered.

Your eyes wandered after it adjusted to the lit room, locking on the form of a slouched man in the corner, sitting with a knee up that had his arm and head resting on it while his other knee was folded. You quietly sighed and walked close to him, hiding the impatience to throw yourself at him and pepper him with kisses, mumbling i missed yous. You would have done it, but that kind of affection.. goes for later.

You sat beside Jotaro and placed the paper bag on your side. You weren't too close nor too far from him, just enough to have your hand caress his messy dark hair. You loved seeing him without his hat, seeing his flawless face be shadowless. But if he took it off, the reason is either he's agitated or.. sleep. There was a time when you told him that he should take off his hat indoors and a time you tried to take it off yourself, but he completely ignored you at both and kept the hat on.

“How are you?” You asked without expecting a reply. It was to make him acknowledge your presence, and that is because you didn't know that he's been waiting for you to come in since the moment he heard your voice.

Jotaro wanted to answer. He wanted to lock you in his arms and.. say sorry. He wanted to apologize for neglecting you but— how is he going to do that without telling you too much?

“Why the f*ck did my mother call you? I don't need any help. That b*tch.”

There it is, his method of putting up a tough facade, the swearing that would prompt anybody to think that he needs no help. It worked on you once, but you're not just anybody to him now.

“Mhm. Seiko checked up on me while I was heading home from.. somewhere. She invited me for dinner,” You informed. You didn't want to tell him that you were on your way here even before Seiko called you, knowing full well that he's against you ‘roaming’ at night alone.

You continued to comb through his hair as he answered, “For real [Y/N], I'm fine. Leave. I don't need you to stay here— or.. or something.”

Your hand lowered to his upper back and started to rub circles, “Would you look at me and say that again, Kujo?” you asked in a slightly teasing tone, trying to light up the mood.

You started humming a soft melody, a melody that somehow always soothed Jotaro. The first time you hummed it was when you were cooking dinner for him and Seiko wasn't home. He got into a fight that day and he was abnormally quiet, not the usual, resulting to a tension between the two of you. You hummed the melody to ease the atmosphere, and when you were placing his plate on the table, he suddenly grabbed your wrist and muttered an apology before he told you to ‘keep doing’ what you were doing. The melody was just random, so you did your best to remember its tone and hum it whenever you both need comfort.

And this time, he was soothed again, but he isn't going to be swayed so easily even if he wants to.

“F*cking go away.” He huffs, “You're just like the annoying b*tch. Leave me alone.”

No, stay. He stated in his mind the complete opposite of what came out of his mouth. Of course you didn't leave and continued to hum and rub circles on his back. He may be one of the harshest men you've met, but you have a counter for that. Well.. you're stubborn.

He remembered what you said about heading home from.. somewhere. Where was that? “Where were you coming from?” He asked in a demanding tone.

“Doesn't matter where I was, Kujo. You're still not looking at me.” You retreated your hand from his back and crawled to sit in front of him in crossed legs before placing your hands on his large ones, “I wouldn't mind being like Seiko, although..” You squeezed the top of his hands, bowed your body and peeked at his face where your warm [E/C] eyes met his tired yet enchanting aquamarines. Your lips quirked into a small smile, “You wouldn't want your partner to be your second mother, would you?”

Partner?

Jotaro looked at you blankly, not realizing how close your faces were, “You're still worrying about me too much, I'm fine. I'm.. I'm just remembering..” You straightened and held his cheeks, gently pulling up his face before standing on your knees. You shifted your hand and cupped his face, delicately looking at him to encourage him to speak.

In that moment where he's putting his toughness down, you've completely set aside the issue from the past week. The thoughts that Jotaro might've had enough of you because he thinks you're oblivious to his personal issues— all gone. Holly's words echoed through your mind. Mother truly knows best.

“Egypt.. friends dyi—” Jotaro cut his words and sighed deeply, “..all of it is hitting hard. You won't understand.”

You bit your bottom lip and nodded. He's right, you would not be able to understand, but that's temporary. It'll take more time for him but you're willing to wait, “I.. dream of you..” He swallows the lump in his throat while you wipe the sweat forming on his temple, “I dream of you dying too.”

With that, you were able to catch on more of what happened before you came in his life. People close to him died. People who he probably traveled with.. might have died right before him.. or not. And now he's being haunted, probably by the guilt or by the experience itself. You're still skeptical, but it's considerably clear now.

Your eyes that looked at your hand which wiped his bead of sweat shifted to his eyes, and you saw fear. He was frightened, not only by the past, but also by the possibility that he might lose you too.

You retreated your hands and sat on your legs as you and Jotaro continued to communicate through your eyes. Your heart was thumping fast against your chest, now of sympathy.

“Jotaro, I..”

This time, you threw yourself at him. Arms snaking around his neck, your face buried on his shoulder. You wrapped him in a tight hug as it took him time to return the affection, wrapping his arms around your back and pulling you even closer as he closed his eyes and basked his head on yours. You and Jotaro savored the hug for a while, not thinking about anything else aside being in each other's arms.

“I'm here.. and I'm telling you that I'll be here to love you longer than that delinquent head of yours expected.”

You broke the hug gently, a hand shifting to cup his cheek while you also reached for the paper bag. Jotaro opened his eyes as he felt you fix his sitting position so you could sit —with crossed legs— on his thighs, laying your back on his chest.

“See this?” You lifted the paper bag with both hands, giving Jotaro the chance to once again wrap his arms around your waist. He doesn't mind giving in to your touch as of now.

Jotaro grunted, “Inside this lovely recycled and eco-friendly paper bag are things that.. uhm.. how do I introduce it..” You slowly placed your head on his shoulder, putting the bag down between your legs. You contemplated as you stared on the wooden ceiling, “I know! The things.. consider it as our promise to each other, Kujo. Am I clear? Yep, I'm clear!”

Jotaro clicked his tounge in annoyance as you lifted your head from his shoulder when he was about to rest his head against yours. Why can't he just cuddle you without you moving too much? Can't you and him just cuddle in peace?

You shifted again, now face to face with him. You acted surprise when you saw his furrowed brow, “Oh? Kujo is annoyed with the mighty [L/N]?”

“Just get it over with, woman.” Jotaro supported your back with an arm, watching you as you struggled to hold his free hand with one of yours. You had set aside the paper bag, the things in it now hidden in your other hand.

When you finally settled with wrapping your small hand around his palm so his fingers were loose, you smiled up at him and swiftly leaned in to kiss the tip of his nose. Jotaro turned away, snorting to at least lessen his flustered state. Where is his hat now that he practically needs it?

Jotaro felt a cold thing graze his skin, along with what seems to be two fingers pushing the thing on his. He glanced and saw you inserting a ring on his pinky with a serious face. You were glaring at his hand, your smile only returning when you successfully inserted the ring.

You let go of his hand and was about to wear the other ring yourself when he grabbed your wrist, snatched the ring and easily inserted the accessory on your pinky, all of it with only one hand as his other arm was still supporting you.

You were taken aback, ready to question him when he pulled you into a bridal position and locked your upper body with his arms within a second. You chuckled instead of saying a thing, wrapping your arms around his torso.

“Keen for a cuddle, huh, Kujo?”

“Good grief. You're one brave woman to challenge me.”

As you and Jotaro became ignorant to your surroundings, a flash of a camera resided from the slightly opened door, the sound being followed by a muffled kyaaah! which, with no doubt, came from the adorably giddy mother of the impatient man in your arms.

[End!]

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