#this isnt really indicative of what is going to happen

[schrijverr]

Okay, I was going to announce this at the final update tomorrow (and I still will), but since you all decided to take an extra step and follow me here, which I appreciate so so much, I am giving an early release here:

The fic this is about is an I Do verse sequel. Now, it might take a while before I'm done and it's going up, because I need to write the whole thing first, but I am very excited! Like ahhh, they're actually together in this one!!! It's so fun to write them as a coupleeeeee <3333

Yes, I am also announcing this whole thing early because I just wrote this snippet and I am squealing to myself and I had to share, so enjoy! (under the cut for people who don't want spoilers)

“I guess,” Eddie shrugs, burying his face in his pillow for a moment, willing the heat away. Then he clears his throat, changing the subject: “How did you sleep? Good morning so far?”

“Oh it was great,” Buck grins, tugging at him until he is turned around, resting on Buck’s chest as he so often does – sue him, it’s comfortable and his boyfriend has a nice chest – and smirks at him: “I had a very handsome fellow to cuddle up to, you see.”

Any progress Eddie has made in getting rid of the blush is undone, though Buck knows him well, because he can ignore it in favor of laughing: “Handsome fellow?”

“What? Are you saying you’re not a handsome fellow?” Buck asks, theatrically playing up his disbelief and offense at that.

“Shut up,” Eddie blushes more, big smile on his face.

“Nope,” Buck replies, popping the p as he does, before going to pepper his face in kisses. “I can,” kiss, kiss, “tell,” kiss, kiss, “you all about,” kiss, kiss, “how handsome,” kiss, kiss, “you are,” kiss, kiss, “and you,” kiss, kiss, “can’t stop me,” kiss.

“Is that so?” Eddie tries to challenge, though it’s probably undermined by the way he is squirming under the attention.

“Jup,” Buck says, smoothly rolling them over as he does so he is leaning over Eddie instead. He gives him a devilish grin that leaves Eddie breathless. “Sorry, baby, but you’re handsome. Nothing you can do about that.”

His early method of deflection having been shut down, Eddie tries: “Says you.”

“Says I indeed,” Buck just agrees happily, kissing him before he can respond, then trailing those kisses down his neck in a manner that makes Eddie shiver in a good way.

With determination, Eddie manages to keep his voice somewhat level and add a tone of faux-indigence as he gasps: “Are you trying to start something, Mr. Buckley?”

Buck pulls away and wiggles his brows. “Depends, is it working?”

This fic I'm writing rn is way too fucking fluffy for my taste, fortunately I have successfully inserted some angst and seeds for devastation >:3

[isekyaaa]

I'm not joking though ace and aro ppl are literally so annoying because they can't shut up about being ace and aro. They're like the vegans of the not-heterosexual community. You do not need to tell us how you're oppressed for being aro/ace every single moment of the day. Like jeez it's not like you're being killed for existing.

[erwinsvow]

babe i have a thought but idk if i can word this right

so rafe x shy!reader when theyre still taking it slow with the dry humping n fingering but she wants to make rafe feel good as well yk but she isnt mentally ready yet for sex !! n so she quietly tries to learn on how to give head from porn n when she executes it on rafe hes all like ?? huh ???? how the hell .

rafe asked you what you were doing last night. you told him you were studying.

you were studying, you hadn't lied about that. he'd just assumed it was your schoolwork and didn't ask further questions, when you were really about six pages into the pornhub results, searching up deepthroating. an hour ago it'd been just blowjob but all the videos seemed to indicate this was the superior method.

you were nothing if not thorough, studious. you were a quick study too, swiftly realizing nearly all the 'blowjob' videos had some aspect of 'deepthroating' in them, and you wanted to learn everything for rafe, learn the best for him, be the best for him.

so that's how you ended up like this, practicing your new techniques on a second banana from your kitchen. you had accidentally choked and bitten down on the first one, so you had to go back for another, avoiding your parents' questions.

you were getting better though, which is all that mattered. another tab was helping you learn how to not trigger your gag reflex, and another still reminding you to breathe through your nose and use your hands where your mouth couldn't reach. you had accumulated enough knowledge, you just needed to practice, hence the fruit.

rafe was taking you to dinner tomorrow, and you always slept at tannyhill after one of your dates. that would be the perfect chance to show him your new skills.

rafe was experienced in every sense of the word, all you wanted was to impress him, make him realize you can handle more than he thinks you can. he's still concerned he's gonna break you and even though you know he can—the first time you guys tried to have sex lingering in your mind—you know he won't.

after dinner, rafe tries to take you for ice cream, the way he always does, and you surprise him by saying no. you never refuse dessert so he thinks something's wrong, but you surprise him again, getting to your knees in front of him while he takes a seat on his bed.

"what're you doin', kid?" he mumbles, thinking you're not sure what you're causing right now.

"you said i can have dessert. this is what i want," you murmur back, taking out his hardened dick. everything's a blur, you don't even remember unbuckling his belt but it rests beside your knees.

you glance up hesitantly, remembering another website that had said to keep eye contact. you'll have to go back to that, too concerned with how much you can fit in your mouth—rafe is bigger than your banana.

you start slowly, looking up while your hands stroke up and down. you think you're doing well—rafe's reacting how you imagined, heavily breathing, his hand snaking into your hair.

"jesus, shit, kid-" now you know you're doing well, lowering your entire mouth onto rafe's dick, feeling him fill up your throat. you choke around it for a moment, sucking down and running your tongue over the veins there. you take him out, catching your breath for a second while spit runs down his length and the side of your mouth.

you spit again, this time on his head, licking all the way up and then bringing him into your throat again. it's going good—you think! rafe's moaning and you definitely like the sound of it, staring up at him with watery eyes while you choke and moan around it.

he's getting close you think, the way his grip tightens on your hair and his hips start thrusting up into your mouth. you don't stop or slow down, but rafe does, yanking your hair and pulling you off.

you sputter, catching your breath, wiping away the spit.

"what happened?" you question quietly, looking up at him. a tear runs down, not able to stay in place. you're not upset though, just curious. "was it not good? did i do something wrong?"

"you told me you've never done that before."

"i haven't," you reply, shaking your head.

"so, so you just knew? to do all of that? don't fuckin' lie to me, kid, i'm not playin' around-"

"i didn't! swear! i've been studying, i told you-"

"this is what you've been studyin'?"

"...yes. i thought i was doing good." you mumble the last part, hugging your knees. you look away from rafe, feeling embarrassed.

"hey, hey. you were. i just wasn't expectin' that, s'all. scared me. you're too good at that." you perk up.

"i am?"

"yeah. you little freak. c'mon, finish up. gotta put that studyin' to use, hm?"

[parfaitblogs]

illicit affairs ❀ s. reid x reader

in which you want more than spencer reid can give you. 

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader genre: angst (18+ for suggestive content) tags: relation(situation)ship. s7 spencer. mentions of past intimacy. unrequited feelings. spencer's not the best person ever. kinda fade to black & unhappy ending (welcome back june parfaitblogs). reader has kinda bad self-worth. word count: 2.5k a/n: soooo fucking cliche man chases the girl after she leaves. im sorry. except im not. so sorry for whatever ooc thing spencer reid does in this. except it isnt ooc. tell me he didnt have a whore phase in s7. u cant. im sorry this is soooo dialogue heavy LOL.

Fractured shards of your soul scatter this apartment. 

This Godforsaken green-walled, quaint apartment, that you had spent so much of your time in. Nights, not days, because his days were spent yearning for an engaged woman. His nights, however, were reserved for you. Most of them, at least. Some of them. A few of them. Not many of them at all, actually.

It was a little embarrassing; how much of yourself you were willing to disrespect for some attention from a man who probably didn't think much about you outside of your presence inside his walls. But then he would touch you, and he would kiss you, and all self-deprecation will go out the window. For he is so gentle, and he knows every single crevice and button to press on your body like he speaks its language. 

Embarrassing.

It started innocently. A night spent with him after you had been broken up with, resulting in one awful decision that led to the other. Crying in his arms, to kissing him, to having sex, which he was rebutting all up until it actually happened. Rambling about transference while still leaving open-mouthed kisses down your neck, shaking his head because you two should not be doing this. 

A week later you went back to him. You were sad, in your defence, and Spencer Reid was your friend first. He was good at distracting you, you learned. You would cry, and thus, he would make you come to forget about it. Like clockwork. 

At some point it changed from a coping mechanism, to an emotional necessity. You stopped thinking about your broken heart, and instead about how good Spencer was to you. Which might've been your biggest mistake.

You were not to him what he was to you anymore. 

And maybe he knew that. A laughable idea, because Spencer Reid, who could be slapped in the face with a poster that said I am in love with you in big bold letters, would still be oblivious to it all. But maybe he knew.

You had to ask this time to come over. Maybe pathetic, how much of your self-worth you relied on whether or not a man you weren't even dating wanted to see you. How much of your world had crumbled around you because it had been two weeks and he hadn't spoken to you outside of discussing a case. 

It was definitely pathetic how small you felt as you sat in the corner of his couch, a glass of water you didn't really want to drink encased in your palms, condensation seeping into your skin. In your defence, it didn't usually go like this. Usually, it took you all of three seconds to get insidehis apartment before he started kissing you. Why wasn't he kissing you?

You could hear the faint sound of shuffling behind you, glasses clinking together and ceramics settling on the marble countertop. The only other indicator Spencer was even there was his irregular breathing. Irregular from what, you didn't know. 

Another beat of silence passed, and with it, your patience. You set the glass down on the coffee table — something he would’ve scolded you over if not for the thick layer of tension between you two.

"Did you not want me to come over?" You regret the words the second they're out of your mouth, and they uncomfortably pierce the air, only to be followed by another thick blanket of fucking silence. You had already said it — you might as well commit. "Spencer?" 

You lifted your gaze from its fixated position on your lap to find him standing still in the kitchen, a bowl in his hands, still damp from its time in the dishwasher. 

"You know you're always welcome here," he replied when you had locked gazes. 

"That's not what I asked," you said, readjusting your body, chest pressed up against the back of the couch, chin resting atop its ledge. You watched as he dried the bowl and put it away, his shoulders deflating, before he turned back to face you. 

"I do want you here," he said, but even with the finality in his voice, you were sceptical. 

"Are you sure?" you despised the insecurity that seeped into your tone.

He stilled again, and even with the distance between you two, you could see gears turning behind his eyes, coming up with a response that wouldn't break your heart, probably. Because he knew.

He could lie. Say that yes, he is sure, and he does want you in his apartment right now, and he wasn't simply entertaining your own desires. Desires that he seemingly had grown tired of. But you would figure him out immediately, and maybe he knew that as well. Stupidly smart Spencer Reid thinking ahead, frustratingly so. 

Instead, he said your name, in an awfully cautious tone. Maybe lying would've hurt less. He took a step around the kitchen counter, ever so slowly closing the distance between you two. 

"It's okay if you don't want me here," you tell him, forcing a reassuring smile and stopping him in his tracks. "You're not forced to amuse me."

"Do you think that's what I'm doing?"

"Yes. You've hardly said a word to me, and I've been here twenty minutes," you rebutted. 

"I told you on the phone that I had some maintenance chores to do." Okay, true. "Once they're done, I'm all yours."

You shouldn't say anything. You knew that. The words on the tip of your tongue would cause an argument, and he had just technically promised to do what you both knew you had come to do, and after two weeks of hearing nothing, any attention from him was good attention. You shouldn't.

But you did. "Are you really?"

His eyes closed and a harsher breath of air expelled through his nose, his hands flexing by his side as he took a moment to respond. "What does that mean?"

"Are you really all mine?" you cringed even as you asked the question. And, you already knew the answer. 

"What do you want my answer to be?"

You could scream. "That isn't fair, Spencer."

"Do you want it to be yes?"

You didn't want to answer that honestly, too afraid of the rejection that was sure to follow. "Does it matter?"

"Yes, this is a relationship, and relationships need communication—"

"—A relationship?" you repeated back to him, incredulously. "You think this is a relationship?" 

Fingers dug into his eyes, and his shoulders sagged further. "What is it, then?"

"Convenient." The word stung even you, despite being the one to have said it. 

Or maybe it didn't hurt him. For he responded, in an achingly calm tone, "Explain that to me."

"Don't use profiling techniques on me," you countered, and he watched as your walls shot up around you. 

"Asking you to explain something to me isn't a profiling technique," he said, taking another step towards your residence on the couch.

"No, but the tone of voice you're using is."

"Would you rather I yell at you?"

"No—Spencer," you stammered so frustratingly in an attempt to come up with a response, emotions taking authority of your brain functions. "I come here when I'm sad, we fuck, I go home. That's all this is. That isn't a relationship."

"I could argue what a relationship legitimately is."

"Please don't."

"Okay," he agreed with a short nod. "Do you want more out of this arrangement, then?"

"Can you give me more if I do?"

His silence was answer enough, and so slowly but surely, you were untangling your limbs from themselves on the couch, and planting your feet on the floor.

"Where are you going?" he asked as you stood up.

"Home," you replied, curtly, and he watched in a still silence as you left. 

The slam of his apartment door was loud, and it echoed throughout the hall. Feet pattered against the stairs as you descended them, quickly, because your tears were forming fast and you were attempting to beat exposure to the outside world before they started to fall down your face. 

But the universe had other plans for you, and your named reverberated throughout the final staircase you had to descend. Your lips pulled into a line in an attempt to neutralise your expression, and you turned at the base of the stairs.

"You want more with me," he said, admittedly a little breathless from chasing you the way he did. 

"Glad you could deduce that one, Doctor."

A frustrated huff left his lips. "Stop shutting me out."

"I'm not doing this here," you replied, taking another step back — that he matched, stepping down a step. "Spencer."

"No, we are. If you are going to walk out of my apartment, then we're having this conversation here."

"I don't even want to have this conversation," you argued. 

"Yes you do."

"You don't know me."

"Yes I do." When you opened your mouth to argue again, he was quick to cut you off. "You want more with me, but you're too scared of me rejecting you, so you're brushing it off as something unimportant, in hopes that I'll forget about it so things can go back to what they were before."

"God forbid."

His lips pursed. "Can you be an adult about this?" 

Your heart stuttered uncomfortably in your chest, and he stared expectingly at you for minutes. Minutes that you let pass, your breaths shallow as you stared up at him, boring holes into his own eyes. Then, "Are you going to reject me?" 

"Yes, but—"

Oh.

Somewhere your name was said once, then twice, but it all sounded far too distant, submerged underwater, maybe. Your brain muddling with every single thought it had ever conjured up in all your years of living, to the point where you couldn't even figure out if the tears burning your eyes were actually there, communications in your brain on lockdown. 

You were detached from your own body as a hand was placed on your shoulder, your eyes flickering over to Spencer's face, which was an alarming amount closer than before. It was his hand, you figured, which meant he was watching you have this breakdown, and suddenly the thought of being like this in front of him was far worse than anything he could've said to you. 

"Okay," you said, almost breathlessly, stumbling back a few steps, nodding your head, and blinking away the tears all at once. "Which is fine, by the way. Because this isn't a relationship. And we agreed on casual sex, so really, you're not doing anything surprising, and I should've expected this. Yeah."

"Can you please look at me?" You hadn't even realised your gaze was flitting around the place until he said it, and you forced your eyes to rest on his face again. "Yeah, there you go. Hi. Deep breath."

You took in the gulp of air, despite it still being shallow from your onslaught of emotions, matching your rhythm with his own. He repeated the act a few more times, until you had settled into less violent gasps, and he was sure you were grounded with him again. 

"You back with me?" he asked just in case, his voice horrifically gentle, and you wordlessly nodded your head. "Can we talk about this, now?"

"In your stairwell?"

"I don't think you want to walk all the way up to my apartment again," he said, and he was correct; you didn't. "I would reject you. That's true."

"Which you're allowed to do," you answered, quietly. 

"I am," he agreed with a nod. "If that isn't okay with you, then tell me. We can call this off right now."

"And what?" you asked, ugly emotions clawing their way up your throat again. "Go back to how things were before?"

"Well, yes—"

"—No, Spencer!" you snapped, and he seemingly hadn't expected it. At all. "I can't go back to normal with you, not after this. Sex is fucking intimate, and it is scary, and you have seen me at my absolute worst and still slept with me these last few months. You have seen parts of me I refuse to share with anyone, because I trusted you."

"I didn't force you to do that," he countered. "You showed me every single side of you on your own accord. So do not paint me to be a villain."

"I'm not trying to," your voice was desperate, and if you weren't so busy using your hands to talk animatedly, you might be tearing out your hair by now. "I just—I don't get it. How was it so casual for you? How can you go back to what we had before all of this like it's nothing?" 

"All of this was never anything serious. We agreed on that."

"No. No, don't explain what this was to me. I know what it was. Answer the question."

How was he so calm? His eyes searching your own now tear-filled ones, but the crease in his brows was the only indicator of any emotion, for his body was alarmingly relaxed. 

He exhaled, "I don't know what to tell you. What do you want to hear?"

"The truth."

"I don't have feelings for you," he said, voice so curt you wondered if it was the way he said it, or what he said, that shattered your barely mended heart. Again. 

"Which is fine," you repeated the phrase, because maybe if you said it enough, you'll start to believe it. 

"So, do you want to call this off?" 

"We should."

He only nodded in agreement; a violent reminder that you weren't imagining the things he was saying to you. This wasn't a bad dream, and he was actually telling you the relationship you had built up in your head wasn't real. 

"I don't want to," you murmured, voice pathetically small, shrinking in your shoes beneath him. "I really like you, Spencer."

"Which is why we should call this off," he reasoned, and you wanted to scream.

"Are you going to be even a little sad if we do?" He parted his lips, and a beat of silence passed. And then you were stepping back, puffing out a strained breath of air, nodding your head in understanding. "I should go."

"You won't talk to me if we call it off," he said before you could get too far from him. When you turned to look at him again, he added, "Will you?"

"No."

"Then yes. I'll be sad."

"Because I won't talk to you?"

"Yes."

You stared at him for a beat longer. "Not because you won't have a fuck buddy anymore?"

"You were never just a fuck buddy," he said, exasperated, the phrase sounding foreign on his tongue. Sorry for exasperating you.

"No. But I'm not enough to like, right?" 

He said your name, and stepped off the staircase he had been residing on, lowering the height difference between you two. "You are enough to like."

"Not to you!" "I am not the only man in the world."

The bottomless pit in your stomach grew larger, only because to you he was. To you, he was everything. And you felt things far too big, and the realisation that he had never and will never see you that way was a world-shattering discovery. 

You sighed, lowering your gaze to the floor. "We never should have started this."

"I agree." 

"I'm gonna go."

He opened his mouth, then closed it, seemingly deciding against arguing with you any more. He merely nodded his head, and forced a smile. "Yeah."

"Bye, Spencer."

your reblogs and replies are always appreciated ♡

[obito-in-disguise]

| Arguments with the jjk men |

Featuring: Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Nanami Kento, Fushiguro Toji.

Satoru Gojo

Arguments with the blindfolded idiot were rare. Satoru's personality may be annoying to others, but it never to you, until now.

"Is everything just a joke to you?" You stood in front of Satoru seething, you hadn't intended for an argument but it was inevitable at this point.

You couldn't really remember what started the fight but it had led you to the subject of how Satoru never seemed to take your feelings seriously.

When it first started happening, you'd play along with his dismissive attitude and even crack a little joke with him but it got old real quick. Now it was no longer funny to you, it was frustrating, you didn't want to joke around all the time, some things required a level of seriousness.

"You know I'm taking this serious sweets but you're just too adorable when you're mad" he grins leaning back in his chair, using his feet to push it off the ground and back.

You nearly saw red, his dismissive attitude brought out a rage in you like never before. You weren't thinking straight, all you wanted to do was hurt him, wipe that stupid smile off his face if you will, and so the next words flew out of your mouth without caution.

"You always do shit like this, you brush everything and everyone off. You did it to Suguru when he needed you the most". The second you finished the sentence, you felt instant regret.

Satoru had confided in you months after Geto's defection, telling you how he felt his neglectful attitude may have contributed to his best friend's mental breakdown, you comforted him and insisted it wasn't his fault only for you to turn around and use it against him in an argument.

Satoru was motionless, for once. You couldn't tell what his was thinking, his eyes were hidden by his glasses and his mouth set in a firm line.

It worked, the silly grin was gone but at what cost? His silence only stoked the flames of your guilt, it was so uncharacteristic of him to be this silent.

"I'm sor-" he cuts you off as he abruptly turns around and leaves the room. The front door slams indicating he's left the house. You wince collapsing onto the couch, perhaps you should chase after him but you decide to let him be incase he decides to hollow purple you (jk jk).

You don't even realize you've fallen asleep until you jerk awake at the sound of the front door closing and opening. You sit up abruptly hoping its satoru. It is.

He walks into the room with a box in his hand, you stare in confusion as he walks towards you and holds the box out in front of your face, that serious expression on his face the whole time. You warily take it and open it, you stare in shock as you find it's a box of chocolate. "Satoru-"

"I'm sorry" he says sitting on the couch, you're about to protest when he cuts you off.

"I know I don't take these things seriously and I joke about them, but that's only because...." he stares ahead blankly, his striking blue eyes staring ahead "that's only because I hate the idea of us fighting, so i brush it off hoping you'll forget about it" he looks up at the cieling, his snowy locks falling back with the movement.

"but I know now from experience that that isnt the answer, so I'm sorry" he finishes his statement still not looking at you, his voice was tinged with bitterness, the memories of Suguru flooding his mind, he did not want a repeat.

You stare in silence watching as he shuffles closer, pulling you into a hug. You embrace him back as you sniffle.

"Don't think I've forgotten about your little comment, you'll just have to make it up to me later" he returns back to his playful demeanor, if he was offended he's decided to let it go and you're grateful for that, grateful this argument is over.

Suguru Geto

Arguments with Suguru were as common as breathing in air, the only thing is they were never serious.

You could barely even call them arguments, they mostly consisted of intellectual banters and small disagreements here and there. This time however, was different.

It was a few days after the fight with Toji and something was terribly off with him. He was never talkative but even this was too quiet for Suguru, the dark circles around his eyes and skinny figure only added to your worries.

"Why won't you tell me what's wrong that's what I'm here for" "just leave Y/N, we'll talk later" he couldn't even be bothered to look at you as he lays in his bed curled up, his back facing you.

You stand over the bed, his words repeating themselves in your head and stabbing at your resolve but you push your hurt away and decide to press further. "Is this about amanai?...Sugu that wasn't your fault-"

"I said leave!" You flinched blinking in surprise, Suguru had never raised his voice at you before, no matter how heated things got. You turn around and immediately leave, not wanting him to see how you were about to burst into tears. Screw this, screw him.

Giggles and squeals can be heard as Suguru stands at the door to your apartment building, he was on his way to your flat to apologize for his previous actions before he encountered a family sitting on the benches outside playing with their kids.

A reoccurring thought had been turning Suguru's world upside down for the past few days, were the people he put his life on the line to protect even worth it?

His tired eyes watch as the parents lovingly interacted with their children, why couldn't they extend this same love to others? Was it just selfishly limited to their own? He grits his teeth as he forces himself to tear his eyes away from the scene.

He enters the building, making his way up to your flat. A few of your neighbors recognize him and greet him, Suguru ignores them. He's jaded at this point and wants little as possible to do with people, yet he finds himself knocking at your door waiting earnestly for you to open it.

The door swings open after a few seconds revealing your neutral expression, if you were excited to see him, you sure didn't show it. "May I come in Y/N?"

You step aside wordlessly, letting him in.

He turns to you as he hands come to rest on your shoulders softly, "I'm sorry, I know you were just looking out for me and I shouldn't have raised my voice. Will you forgive me?" He asks mustering up a smile as beat as he could.

You stare at him warily as he gives his signature closed eye smile, there's something wrong with it, it seems so soulless, so empty.

None of it feels natural as he pulls you in after you nod, hugging you. It all seemed so fake, his smile, his apology, his touch. You sigh deciding you must be reading too much into it, he came here and he apologized after all didn't he?

Suguru watches as you hug him back in resignation, he watches as you push aside your doubts and begin to talk about your day, a small smile making its way unto your face.

Good, he wanted you to remember him like this, as your Suguru. He watches you as you continues to speak, happy that at least in this moment, he could shield you from who he was about to become.

Nanami Kento.

For as long as you can remember, you never argued with Kento, he was just that guy. Whatever disagreements that rose up were swiftly dealt with and put away by Nanami, in a way that made you feel heard and reassured.

He was protective but tried his best not to suffocate you. Being a jujutsu sorcerer, he knew the dangers that lurk and around and would absolutely not be able to forgive himself if you got hurt.

Today was one of those days you got home late from work. The clock read 8pm, three hours since you were supposed to be home and kento was worried sick.

He had sent you several texts and tried to call but he recieved nothing back in return. He was in the process of putting on his shoes to head to your workplace when you suddenly barged into the apartment, giggling as you waved to the person who dropped you off.

Kento stood in the half motion of tying his shoes as he watches you laugh and giggle while he's been worried sick for the past three hours. You shut the door and nearly pass away from fright when you see your husband standing like a statue staring at you.

"Christ ken! What are you doing"

"what am I doing? I could ask you the same thing"

you frowned at his clipped tone, attitude much? "What do you mean?" He sighs rubbing his forehead and shutting his eyes, his attempt at suppressing his frustration.

"Why didn't you at least text me to let me know you would be coming back home late?"

"I don't have to tell you everything all the time"

Nanami's eyes snap open as he watches you in disbelief, what the hell kind of response like that? If this was anybody else, he would've put them in their place without even hesitating, but you were his wife and he was going to deal with this calmly, at least he would try.

"What?" You shrug as you fold your arms defensively

"I just went out with some friends after work, it's not like i went to a night club"

"The issue is not you going out love, the problem is that you didn't tell me"

"oh my gosh ken, can we not do this right now? I'm exhausted"

"I know but-"

" you don't have to be so uptight all the time" you joke but your words hit nanami's heart like an arrow. Everyone around him always called him uptight and bossy, it upset him but he didn't care because he knew the one person he cares about doesn't see him that way, and knows he just hated to see people get hurt, or at least he did.

His heart twists at the cruel words but his expression remains perfectly neutral "you don't think do you?"

Now it was your turn to gawk. "What if something had happened to you while you were out? How would I get to you? How would I even know something was wrong?"

With each word, he takes a step toward you, his voice rising a little. "You think this about some petty jealousy or about being controlling? The world is dangerous, you could've been attacked by a curse. Then what? Would you still prefer me to be lax? Think for once" Nanami is about to say more when he sees the tears gather in your eyes.

Now he feels like a jerk, did you have it coming? Absolutely. Did he have to be mean about it? No.

He sighs as he reaches out to cradle your cheek "don't do that, don't cry please"

"I'm sorry ken, I just-" he pulls you into his chest letting you cry, his hand cradling the back of your head and the other patting your back.

He shushes you wincing internally at the sound of your sobs. Was he really that mean? "Sweetheart I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry", he continues to soothe you and sighs in relief when you crying subsides.

"I was just stressed with work ken, I'm sorry I took it out on you"

"I'm sorry, I raised my voice as well, I was just frustrated" he runs his fingers through your hair. "Promise me you'll always tell me where you are? I just need to be able to keep you safe"

"I promise"

"Good" He reaches out and pinches your snotty nose, laughing at your attempts to swat him away, happy at the reconciliation.

Fushiguro Toji

Toji was somewhat of a grade A asshole, somewhat because he absolutely tried his best not to be when he was around you, you actually meant something to him.

He returned from his latest assignment which was a bust, he failed to kill his target which left him with no pay, which in turn meant he had to scrap by for the rest of the month.

You generously let him stay in your apartment whenever he wanted and told him he could lean on you whenever he was in financial problems.

Don't get me wrong, he absolutely appreciated the gesture but felt slightly emasculated. He wanted to be the one to take care of you not the other way round. The whole situation put him in a sour mood, which meant he had to stay away from you so as not to lash out accidentally.

You noticed Toji had been avoiding you all evening, he didn't give you his usual kiss whenever he returned from work, neither did he answer your questions.

It didn't have to be said, you knew he was having one of those bad days again where he avoids you and doesn't accept any hospitality you offered him, still you wanted to make sure he was ok.

"Toji?" You called out softly from the doorway as he sat on the living room couch watching TV, he grunts in response not even looking at you.

"You know, you don't have to push me away. I completely understand what you're going through. None of what might've happened makes you less of a man or even less of a father like you always think!"

His eyes widen slightly

"I just want you to know, I understand and I'm always here for you" you finish your little speech, smiling sweetly at him.

For the first time that evening his cold eyes lock unto yours "what the fuck do you think you know?"

Your jaw nearly drops to the floor as you gape at him.

He gets up, his face twisted into a scowl. "What the fuck could you possibly know about my parenting or my kids? Because I crash on your couch you're suddenly an expert on my life?"

He laughs coldly as he taps on your forehead with his pointer finger "you don't know a thing doll" and with that the cruelty in his speech and demeanor is gone, now he's smiling at you as if he didn't just humiliate you.

You clench your jaw, embarrassment and anger flooding your veins "get out" you point to the door shakily, tears running down for face as you desperately wipe them away.

Toji sighs as he watches you cry, wincing as you sob. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it just slipped out, I didn't mean it" he apologizes as he cautiously inches closer towards you.

"Get out" you repeat, less firm this time as your voice shakes from crying. He embraces you, wiping at your tears.

"I'm sorry angel, I-" he sighs shushing you as you cry harder "I had a rough day, that's why I didn't want to be around you so i don't dumb shit like this" "shhh I'm sorry".

You eventually calm down, this wasn't the first time Toji jas lashed out but this was definitely the cruelest.

"Why do you always have to say mean things"

"I'm sorry doll, I didn't mean any of it"

The rest of the night is spent being pampered by Toji as he makes up for his behaviour.

Its 1am where I live and I'm literally about to fall asleep but nevertheless! Here are some more jjk scenarios, this time with Toji! Ya'll I had no idea how exhausting it can be to write for multiple characters 😭 it think I'll just stick to these four for now(forever).

And yes, I made the reader the instigator in some of the scenarios, whatchu gonna do about it >:)

Feel free to check out my other Jujutsu Kaisen fics and more stories!

[3liza]

On the off chance you've come across this in your own medical research, my partner (POTS, joint hypermobility, ND) needs to crack/pop her joints several times an hour, especially her fingers, wrists, ankles and knees. She specifically remembers it starting when she was 16. It's not really a problem except that if she can't pop a specific joint the feeling develops into pain, and sometimes she just can't get it to happen for a few hours. Is this something you've heard of in connective tissue disorder literature? Doctors have been, as you would expect, totally useless about it, and while it seems harmless now...

this is off the cuff; i havent heard about this but it does just sound like one of those things that could theoretically happen to someone with weird joints. on the other hand joint "popping" is something most normal people also can do, and in the last research on joints popping in those (non-hypermobile) cases that i read (which was a while ago so maybe out of date), it was discovered that joint popping isn't really "doing" anything, it was just making a bubble of gas and a sound using a vacuum basically, but it seems to have a powerful somatic effect which is why chiropractors use it. it's also a really, really common stim for various ND people. i wouldnt assume your partner's joint popping is purely somatic/habitual though, who knows what's going on in there or how it differs from non-hypermobile people

my concern would be that in 99% of the cases of "weird human tricks" that hypermobile people can do, doing those weird human tricks will loosen and damage tissue further and doctors agree that you should absolutely not do them unless demonstrating a symptom to a doctor or something. i would be concerned about continuing the joint-popping habit for this reason. but at the same time, pain is a really strong indicator in the opposite direction. so who knows.

actually now that i type all this out i am reminded that when my neck or hip gets out of joint i have to pop them back into place. i dont know for sure that this is a subluxation (minor dislocation), because im not standing inside an xray when it happens, but thats what it feels like. i do know that this happens to a lot of hypermobile people. the problem with trying to search for the term, which is a real medical term, is that chiropractors (fucking again) have decided that everyone on earth gets subluxations (false) and also that chiropractors can heal every disease by "aligning" your skeleton with powerful blows (false, especially for hypermobile people, who should avoid chiropractors even more dedicatedly than normal people). this is bullshit and can be safely ignored. however, many hypermobile people do actually get minor dislocations frequently, because the connective tissue holding joints together just isnt doing its job. ribs are a really common one. for me its the neck tendons and femoral heads.

i dont think a doctor will have any idea what youre talking about. maybe a physical therapist would be more helpful though, even just to ask questions and see what they think about the "joint popping is possibly damaging my joints further" vs "not popping my joints causes pain" situation

[firelightmlpoc]

I recently received a DM from a fellow who was a junior mod in the Shipping Container server, & they’ve been gracious enough to allow me to use their words on the current happenings, covering the events of the 0303Emily internal happenings of the server at that time.

Now, you may wonder why exactly I’m bringing up the 0303Emily debacle, much less in association with Pansear?

Well, besides the fact that the accusations leveled against 0303Emily are baseless themselves (One example of why at the bottom of this post, completely ignoring the fact that Azriel was only a month or 2 away from being 18 at the time of the accusation while 0303Emily was just 20.), they indicate a trend between both accusations that further shows minimal actual PROOF & deliberate misinterpretations of situations to then twist things into a more negative light.

Now, the statement from the junior mod:

“first off, sorry this isnt really that well worded. i dont even know where to start with all this. i wanted to offer my view on things from the internals of the SC server and some info that might explain the origins of all this. ive wanted to talk about this for a while but im not a very confrontational person and i didnt even have a tumblr or twitter

i was a helper (basically junior mod that had bare mininum perms) on SC during the entire event, and while I did not participate in the decision because it was really complex and i was busy with finals but i did lurk the convo and read a lot of it. i dont have any screenshots of this because i left a few weeks later after the entire mod team basically dissolved and the server lost all its users.

basically a while back before the grooming accusations some kids (like under 18) on the server were going around looking up artists on furaffnity, e621, and other nsfw websites and then reporting it to the mods of SC and i think mainworld too. the mods were pretty "this isnt really our business" about it and told the kids to stop snooping, and that was the end of it.

a few months later still before the grooming the issue resurfaced with the same users going after nsfw artists, they were again told to mind their business but a few weeks later came back with the grooming accusations on top of it. the key thing here is that the mod issue was heavily centered around the nsfw art that emily had been making, along with several other users who were in nsfw servers that these kids had joined to snoop around. they logged thousands of messages from multiple users and sifted through them looking for anything that could be added to this report.

again i just want to emphasize that this was not at all about Emily and Azriel at this time. The entire report was about NSFW people were doing in private NSFW sites and places that the kids had to lie and sneak into because they were LOOKING for dirt on these people. It was not just emily but around a dozen users in our server that had been perfectly fine up until this point.

there was a lot of delay with getting this report finalized and the grooming accusation came later. however given the context this seemed to raise a few red flags for the staff because the accusors had been so intense about their search for info and the fact that the conversation between them was months prior, there was some question of if the accusors had coached or otherwise convicned azriel about them being groomed just to get more dirt on emily.

Well the SC mods were tired of the NSFW artists being reported and considering the number of people being reported (again, more than just emily) and the methods the accusors had taken, decided that this was basically tantamount to stalking and kicked everyone involved.

What you see on tumblr is the response to that. They went and said "SC is run by groomer zoophiles" and everyone who had a hate boner for pansear jumped on board and it went nuclear.

I dont really know if this helps but i am just tired of sitting here being unable to speak about it because i dont have a following and i really miss pansear.”

I want to further emphasize this part:

“again i just want to emphasize that this was not at all about Emily and Azriel at this time. The entire report was about NSFW people were doing in private NSFW sites and places that the kids had to lie and sneak into because they were LOOKING for dirt on these people. It was not just emily but around a dozen users in our server that had been perfectly fine up until this point.”

Minors actively invaded adult-spaces, willingly & ACTIVELY exposed themselves to adult content EXPLICITLY to ‘dig up dirt.’

So, with that in mind, why would they stop at that? Why would they stop at something so trivial as faking screenshots? Multiple members have actively made threats to people accused & they care not about spreading a falsehood (Just look at Pansear’s old Tumblr handle!).

And here’s the example I said I’d give earlier. Azriel starts the conversation with mention of the horrors of some NSFW content from the fandom & then gives an example. 0303Emily follows up with a shared experience. This is some of the ‘proof’ that was presented in the doc Azriel & Co. put forth.

This doesn’t even mention any of the other discrepancies in their own ‘proof.’ The ‘Zoophilia’ allegations are once again Anthro on Anthro characters engaging in sexual acts, just like the allegation against Pansear.

Don’t believe me? Their own google doc is right here on this chap’s post. Read through it.

And if you want to read more, read this. It further emphasizes on this matter.

[phiniusandjelly]

Im so sorry im losing my absolute mind but please hear me out for a second.

Mild tw for implied SA - NOTHING ACTUALLY HAPPENED PEOPLE JUST THINK IT HAPPENED

You know the common misunderstanding au in the danny phandom rn about vlad being a creep and people thinking hes like a CREEPY CREEP and not just a supervillain creep?

Well imagine danny is going on break or something and his dad wants to bring the whole family up to vlads castle for whatever reason.

Danny, obviously, does not want to waste his ONE FREAKING CHANCE of getting some god damn sleep being tormented by vlad and his stupid birds. Plus, vlad will probably plan some big murder plot for his dad and danny CAN. NOT. HANDLE. THAT. RIGHT. NOW.

So danny decides to make a PowerPoint presentation about why he doesnt want to go.

Obviously he cant reveal vlad or his own halfa status so its mostly just really jumbled information about vlad being creepy.

He gets backup from sam, tucker, jazz, and even val. He also knows his mom already dislikes vlad and knows hes a total creep so all he really needs to do is convince his dad.

But??? As hes compiling evidence??? And rehearsing his presentation with hes friends??? He realizes that it sounds super fucked up???

And like, it’s mostly just bad without all the context. But he realizes that Vlad is actually kinda sick in the head. Danny knows he would never actually do something that terrible, but its supper concering how similar his actions are to like, actual bad people.

Danny isnt mad about it or anything, he’s actually just worried about it Vlad.

Danny is not perfect by any means. But Vlad is the only other member of his species besides, like, his fucking clone (which holy shit Vlad what the fuck) or maybe dan who is also fucked up.

Danny knew that Vlads death definitely messed him up, but he never really thought about Vlads actions beyond “obsessive fruitloop, at it again :/“ and is just now realizing that vlad might need psychological help. Which he feels pretty (REALLY) bad about.

Danny has no idea what to do, and no idea who to go to.

So he sneaks out, doesnt even go ghost as he takes the powerpoint to vlad who obviously freaks tf out because holy shit thats SO MUCH WORSE THAN ANYTHING HE COULD HAVE POSSIBLY IMAGINED. What if he had actually hurt daniel? What if he had hurt his precious Madeline?? He needs help like yesterday! How did he ever get so bad???!

So Vlad freaks, trashes his own house, apologizes to danny, and books it through the portal to find the far frozen or somewhere else he can get help.

Danny is somewhat shellshocked about the whole situation. It doesnt get better when people start investigating Vlads disappearance.

The state of the manor indicates foul play and the police look into it further. Find security tapes. They see danny, frazzled and paranoid, enter Vlads property, everything goes to static, and only danny leaves.

Hes arrested of course, and he and his friends/family are interrogated.

Everybody vehemently denies that Danny would ever do such a thing, but when they are asked if danny has potential motives everyone (except for jack) gets all squeamish.

Its practically common knowledge in Amity Park that the mayor and the weird Fenton child had beef. People just were unsure why.

I think it would be really cool to focus a story around the polices pov of the investigation/ random Amity Parkers interpretation of the events.

Danny being kinda creepy after the accident (because death) could totally make people assume he did it and that would be awesome.

We can also add in de-aged Dani/Ellie and or Dan for that extra spice.

Imagine the fentons finding out about Dannys supposed kids in the context that they are MOTIVES FOR THEIR SON TO MURDER THEIR COLLAGE FRIEND ( AND DANNYS OWN GODFATHER) WHO APPARENTLY GROOMED HIM???!? AND THEY DIDNT EVEN NOTICE??!?

This could totally be a crossover too. Lucifer tv show. Batman. Supernatural. All are good.

Anyway, thought this could be kinda interesting

Please continue if you want

[verpineshatterrifle]

okay so your post abt alpha-17 and the other alpha arcs got me thinking (and im sorry for using you as sw google but in my mind you're Alpha Legends Lore mutual) who ARE the oldest clones? I feel like everything got... really confusing with a bunch of super secret REAL first clones getting shuffled into the order. is boba the oldest? in my mind it goes 1 boba 2 nulls 3 alphas 4 the rest of the initial clones that obi-wan saw in aotc but I have no bloody clue 😭

I AM HONORED TO BE YOUR LEGENDS LORE GOOGLE MUTUAL

ok so. sources probably conflict bc this is star wars, of course they do. what i care about is repcomm so we're just gonna go with that as our primary source with wookieepedia as secondary sources

first we gotta get some dates. unfortunately star wars doesnt really give months for most dates but years is still a starting place. these dates are all pulled from wookieepedia, legends page when applicable/different

also we're using geonosis as our date reference point since the timeline is honestly so hard to work with

order 66 happens 19 bby

1st battle of geonosis, 22 bby, the clone wars are 3 years long

boba fett's birth date is listed as 32 bby, meaning he was 10 at geonosis. cody, rex, ordo, fi, spar, and sull are all also listed with a birth date of 32 bby, so we're down to a difference of months here. essentially they're all the same age though- boba himself, troopers, nulls, commandos, and alphas

I REPEAT. ALPHA IS NOT SIGNIFICANTLY OLDER THAN THE CORE OF THE GAR. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. HE ISNT THE ONLY ALPHA EITHER.

but who's actually oldest? and is wookieepedia entirely correct? this is the part where i open repcomm and ignore everything else. i don't even know if anything else contradicts because i'm not checking

chapter 1 of triple zero, kal has just arrived on kamino. it's eight years before geonosis, and 2 years into the cloning program

(ALSO ITS SO FUCKING GREAT THAT THIS IS KAL'S INTRODUCTORY LINE LMAOOO <3)

he does see a lot of clone babies in gestation vats, just like we see in attack of the clones as well as cadets of varying ages- the kaminoans continue producing troopers through the entire ten years of the cloning program, so yes, the 'first generation' (clones deployed at geonosis) ARE older than a lot of later clones. but we dont really have a lot of those later clones as named characters as far as i know

anyways

the nulls appear to kal to be 4 or 5 (also peep jango apparently being legitimately shocked by them)

chronologically the nulls are NEARLY two, which probably means like 1 year and 11 months or something

(pause for me to cry about this entire scene, 'kal was instantly proud of all of them,' 'how would you like to be called ordo, he was a mandalorian warrior,' kal teaching them to embrace their fear as a mechanism their body uses to help protect them, but this is gonna be long enough as it is)

and then we have jango showing up with boba. no real indication of if boba or the nulls are actually older, but it's implied that they're very very close in actual age, if not the same age. we also get mention of the commandos and the alphas.

now, this is now just down to what i think and what makes sense to me. the whole point of the nulls is that they were experimental units- the kaminoans wanted to see if tinkering with the genome would be worth it, and ultimately decided it wasn't. it would actually make sense to me if the nulls were at least a year or two older than the rest of the clones- the kaminoans need time to see if their experiment panned out, don't they? but the nulls are also 10 at geonosis

while the nulls have been flash-trained and put through some trial runs at this point, it's indicated that the alphas and commandos aren't quite ready for training yet. this could be because the alphas and commandos are just a bit too young yet, it could be that the kaminoans put the nulls through training at a younger age than they're doing for non-experimental units. not totally clear

this is another point that is important to me: multiple times the nulls pass for clone troopers. i keep seeing headcanons of them being noticeably taller/bigger than other clones and while it is true that they're canonically slightly heavier, i think the difference is probably like 10-20 pounds, most people cannot easily tell the difference. ordo puts on corr's armor and just notes that it's slightly tighter than he's used to. mereel infiltrated kamino in trooper armor unnoticed, even while directly speaking to a kaminoan

here is my opinion on it: -the nulls and boba are basically the same age -the alphas were created next, but a few months after. by this point the kaminoans had decided (possibly because of the nulls' high mortality rate in gestation) that the alphas would be fully unaltered aside from the accelerated aging. the nulls' behavior 'issues' proved to the kaminoans that this was the right call -the commandos were created at the same time or shortly after the alphas. we're talking within weeks if not days. they have minor genetic changes to work better as a team but that's about it. -the troopers then begin production, now that the kaminoans have lots of practice altering jango's genome. heavy alteration for better social cooperation and obedience. -we're talking a span on like 4 months for all of this

you could say that ordo's gray hairs support the nulls being maybe 4-6 months older than everybody else, but i really think he is just that stressy, and there's also book evidence for clones actually aging at variable rates depending on how much stress they're under

quick note for omega: i think her existence is just insane and she's only here because disney was making a children's show and needed a child character (and girl so they can get inclusivity points), but i could see her being made anywhere from at the same time as boba to up to 3 years later. her wookieepedia page doesn't say, because the bad batch never bothered to give us any concrete information on... anything.

WE ARENT EVEN TOUCHING ON EMERIE. WHAT THE FUCK

[tonydaddingham]

i did not break my own heart last night thinking about the missing 1941 scene and have it sat in my brain all of today spinning around like a fucking microwave in order to not make you lot suffer with me. and i somehow feel i may be right about this so buckle up and lets break it down.

so yes, following on from this post, i think that there is going to be a third 1941 scene. twice is a coincidence, three times is a pattern. it's been literally set up like that by even bringing back 1941 into s2 in the first place. but we're missing a crucial detail because it does not - at all, really - explain how they went from evading danger from hell and having a cosy candlelit bottle of red to celebrate, to the bastard 1967 scene. we all know this, this is nothing new.

the symbolism of nightingales is probably going to cast a shadow on this. these two excellent analyses look at the meaning of nightingales in the context of R&J, and the relation that the song has to this point in time, respectively. in summary; it's a song that should be around in 1941 courtesy of vera lynn and others, and the nightingale itself carries the meaning of love being hidden and forbidden by way of it singing under the cover of darkness, before being replaced with reality and soberness - represented by the lark. the Dinner of '41 scene is set in the bookshop at night; this would parallel - that they are safe and concealed, and truths can be shared, but the writing is on the wall that stepping outside would be to shatter the illusion, so to speak. it might be that the song itself gets miracled up onto the record player, or a wireless lying about - whatever. note: i don't think they'll dance though, not given crowley in ep5, "you don't dance"... but then again, if there ISNT a kiss in s3-1941, an aborted dance seems like the next best option... the cowardly one, but i'll take it

this would also track with aziraphale having his epiphany after the church in s1-1941; specifically, in my eyes, that he doesn't necessarily just realise he loves crowley, but that crowley by way of saving his books loves him too. this is only supported by the whole of the s2-1941 scene of trusting in each other as the only way to pull off the trick, the subterfuge. this is then, again, also important in the context of what i think happens in s3-1941.

i do think aziraphale is going to bring the books up again, and what crowley did, because it needs to be addressed. the Nazis/furfur confrontation has scared him, regardless of whether he saved them both, more than he realised. its put things into startling perspective. i think he's going to bring up the books, and actually question crowley a little more as to why he did it. the repeated use of, and subsequent weird reaction crowley has to, the use of the term "friend" in s2-1941 would indicate that this is going to be a focal point in s3-1941. are they just friends? is crowley disappointed that aziraphale is still referring to him as that, after what he did? 'saving' aziraphale in the church, and then saving his books? or is aziraphale just saying 'friends' so hesitantly in both instances because he's not completely sure where crowley stands?

we as the audience know the answer to this, but they obviously do not. if one of the crucial themes of s3 is going to be resolving miscommunication, it makes sense for this scene to be the first, and last, time they communicate properly... at least, until they sort out the issues that culminated in the Final Fifteen.

so let's say they start getting into a very roundabout way of discussing what they mean to each other. there will need to be the sobering, ice-water-over-the-head realisation however, as s2-1941 demonstrated, that they cannot belong to each other, because they manifestly belong to heaven and hell respectively. crowley is still being spied on, and it firmly places aziraphale in their line of sight too. it's going to bring up the holy water discussion; why crowley asked for it - to protect himself, whether by taking out demons or taking out himself, as long as it means he - and most importantly, aziraphale - does not get hurt.

they actively confess that they want to be together, in a way that is more than they are now. aziraphale wants to, but says that they can't, because it's too dangerous. crowley suggests that no one ever has to know, they can hide it (there, in the bookshop, whilst the nightingale is singing), and even if they are found out, they can run. "hell won't just be angry; they'll destroy you..." // "no one ever has to know".

aziraphale doesn't want to have to hide it, doesn't want a halfway measure- is still thinking in black and white. crowley however thinks that something is better than nothing - thinking in the grey. but ultimately, as long as they are still shackled, they cannot do what they want, and it puts the other in danger. "surely the great thing about being a demon is that you can do whatever you want" // "you sound jealous, angel...". instead, aziraphale promises that the day that they are no longer tied to heaven or hell, they can be together; crowley scoffs, thinking that that will never happen, so they will never happen, "you're so clever! how can someone as clever as you be so stupid?!"

the reason they can't right now is because they could be caught. they would have to skulk around, be ashamed, feel guilty - and aziraphale is tired of feeling like that. because only having crowley in secret would hurt more. not being able hold his hand, or dance with him, or kiss him, unless it was in the bookshop. if hell were to find out, crowley would be killed, true, but if heaven were to find out, aziraphale could be cast out. and if crowley survived hell long enough to see aziraphale fall - he'd never forgive himself, and in a way, i don't think he'd ever forgive aziraphale either.

it's tearing them to pieces, but they have to stop whatever is happening between them in its tracks. it's acknowledged, but it's not named. this gives them plausible deniability; if they called it 'love', it would be undeniable. so, aziraphale asks for crowley to go; asks him to leave before they do something they can't come back from. crowley doesn't listen - crowds him, gets in close, and aziraphale is powerless to stop it. doesn't want to stop it. he's selfish by nature, a selfless kind of selfishness, but he wants this with all his being. and then - "this is too fast, crowley, please don't..." // "im sorry, angel. please... please, forgive me". aziraphale never gets to answer, to grant him that, because boom - the actual first kiss.

so. now that i've had to make you read that, i'm going in for the kill. let's look at everything that follows - and look at how the above might recontextualise it.

1967: the offer of the picnic, the Ritz? ie. the literal lyrics of berkeley square? aziraphale has caved in the interest of giving crowley a weapon to use if all else fails, to protect him, but that's as far as he's willing to progress. everything else is still too painful; he's on the brink of tears, promising that one day they'll be able to do what they want, to be open about how they feel, but not yet. they can't. crowley tries to push, "ill give you a lift, anywhere you want to go..." (him offering again to run away? a second chance to leg it?), and aziraphale reminding him that they can't, he can't... don't make him go too fast again, it's not fair. it also sets up perfectly that aziraphale and crowley don't speak for the next 40 or so years (as far as we're aware) until armageddon is threatened.

bandstand: mostly this is still centred around the apocalypse contextually, but i think with the above hypothetical scene in mind (the offer to hide, to run away, to be together), aziraphale is sent back to remembering their mutual confession that they've nonverbally agreed not to bring up, because it's not safe, and it's too painful. they've skirted around it, and returned instead to a tentative kind of friendship at the beginning of s1, but they're still not safe to address why seeing each other again, being so close to each other and not being able to touch is so painful. anyway - aziraphale refuses their side, but the above scene would re-view this as 'our side can't exist yet, you know this! you know why it can't!', and crowley leaves, again after pushing a bit more than aziraphale can stand.

alpha centauri: basically a facsimile of the above; same steps, same dance. but this time, crowley harks back to aziraphale's foolish (?) hope that they will be together, without having to run away, when the day comes that they don't have to answer to heaven or hell. and aziraphale smacks him right back, echoing crowley asking for aziraphale's forgiveness in kissing him, "i forgive you." crowley knows exactly what aziraphale is getting at, there - he's answering crowley's whispered plea to forgive him for pushing, for trying to force him, for acting in desperation. but he's also not answering that - he's skirting around that very thing, forgiving him like a knife would, slicing back at crowley for not only insulting aziraphale on something that is likely a genuine insecurity of his, but also putting him back in his place, for their safeties, because them being together just cannot happen. not yet.

and "please forgive me" in 1941 might seem out of character, but idk if it is; crowley knows that doing what he's about to do will hurt aziraphale, aziraphale has (hypothetically) told him as much, but he needs to do it - and seeks not benevolence or forgiveness as crowley-the-demon, but actually seems aziraphale's forgiveness, as crowley-the-person. the echo would certainly match the tone given here, in multiple ways:

the ritz: i mean, what is there to say? yes, their song is literally playing on the piano, and heralds the shift in their being out from heaven and hell, the day has finally come where they can - again, going by this entirely hypothetical scene that ive concocted - actually be together as they want to. and the nightingale literally singing outside, but as @shoemakerobstetrician beautifully pointed out, god remarks that it's covered up by traffic. so actually, if we again refer back to R&J interpretation of the nightingale, the love is still hidden, still somewhat under wraps, but can only just about be heard over the noise of the streets outside. the prohibition of them being together, of loving each other, is dwindling. and one day, it'll stop singing altogether. that day is coming, it will come, and then they can do what they please. so whilst the ritz scene may well be a mark of them starting the next chapter, it's slow to take hold, there's still hesitancy - which absolutely makes sense when we see that they are still very tentative with each other come the beginning of s2.

s2 general: aziraphale realises their freedom first; he gets excited by the dance, and being able to show his love to crowley, completely and without barriers, in the form of the ball - what he has read to be the best way to do so. he touches crowley more. he shares his bookshop with him, gifts it to crowley as being his as well as aziraphale's, this safe space that is so wholly theirs that crowley has the power to grant entry. the same with the bentley - aziraphale sees it as theirs, and crowley silently agrees, granting aziraphale the same power. crowley is comfortable in the bookshop to remove his glasses, has a place for them. the bookshop becomes tidier, more minimalist, to make crowley more comfortable in it (it is more cluttered in s1, im certain of it). it might just be the grading between s1 and s2, and lack of clutter, but the yellow is more prominent - his literal favourite colour. everything just screams that aziraphale is ready to make good on his promise from s3-1941.

crowley... for once, is the one not quite catching up. not realising the little dates here and there are literally poses them as a couple (although yes, the coffee shop one is to prep crowley for the goob jumpscare), that aziraphale has granted him the power to grant entry. aziraphale literally asking, practically begging, crowley to help him hide goob. the mf colour of the walls. the colour of the bentley. it's not until nina outright asks him if they are together that he realises how careless they've been - but wait, is it careless if they have nothing to be careful of? well, arguably crowley does, hell are still hanging around him like a bad smell... but this is what he wanted! this is what he was pushing aziraphale for! so, does he risk it? he's not sure, but he's certainly realising that aziraphale is ready, if nothing else. and by the time the ladies stage their little intervention, crowley finally realises that the confession he started in 1941 now can be fully aired, can come out into the open.

the Feral Domestic: *fingers at temples* i know i have been fairly vocal about my interpretation of this scene, and frankly - until we get this hypothetical s3-1941 scene, i stand by it - but let's say this speculation about the scene is true, and re-examine the key points in the Final Fifteen that would completely turn on their heads in terms of meaning:

literally, harking back full circle to what aziraphale promised in 1967 as what they would do when they could fully acknowledge their love, and what they did as soon as - on paper - they were free at the end of s1. this is however before he's spoken to by nina and maggie, so maybe this is what crowley was planning in terms of confessing fully to aziraphale, but after their meddling he realised that yes, they need to actually talk about it again. he doesn't understand why they're telling him what they are - because he's existed so long in gestures and gifts and not talking, literally dismissed it now as a viable option, that it doesn't even occur to him to try talking again.

which is why he does something brave, and tries to tell aziraphale instead (say it out loud, make it undeniable, put a name to it, "i love you", something that i think was crowley's actual intention before aziraphale interrupts him) when he comes back to the shop... he's so nervous, because it's vulnerable, and because the last time he did, they ended up hiding for 50-ish years.

next up:

now, im reluctant to think that aziraphale lied in the Feral Domestic, because i do think the key thing at work is his paramount need to do the Right Thing (ie. make a difference in heaven). whilst metatron obviously manipulates him, im not entirely convinced that aziraphale wholly sees through it. i don't think he knew that metatron was up to something, i think the shaking off of this naivety is going to be part of his s3 character development. but this sentence - again, especially in context of the hypothetical s3-1941 scene - must on some level frighten him. especially if you take this meta into account, aziraphale must realise at least that they were never safe, even when they were denying what they were and how they felt, it didn't make a bit of difference. now, metatron could have just been talking about the arrangement, not referring to any romantic elements of any kind, but the threat of it? no wonder he pushes for crowley to join him in heaven; he could keep crowley safe there. they could be together, and heaven - in his eyes - would be able to say a word against it.

then:

the fear sets in; crowley was too late in telling him, acknowledging that they could be together, realising what aziraphale was saying to him without words, and now heaven has come for him. plonked them right back where they were in s2-1941, but perversely mirrored; instead of hell coming for crowley with violence, heaven came for aziraphale with kindness. crowley doesn't have a magic trick he can just do on the fly, perform it perfectly when the need for it is greatest, and has to cling to the hope that aziraphale still sees them as the barrier to them, the reason they can't be together. and in true miscommunication fashion, i think aziraphale does see it, but what metatron said lingers, and in addition to being inside the institution, changing it from the inside out, in order to make a difference... he knows that whilst it's exactly the opposite of what they wanted, he needs to make them safe. better to be inside the tent pissing out, than outside the tent pissing in.

but aziraphale doesn't tell crowley what metatron said, because instead he either deliberately tries to deny the implications of it (cognitive dissonance king behaviour), or he doesn't want to panic crowley and is trying to convey to crowley that he can't speak his concerns, not when the metatron could still be watching, and instead just needs crowley to trust him, take his hand, and join him in heaven where they can be safe. doesn't tell crowley that heaven hasn't captured him in shackles again, but he's willingly held out his wrists because it's the safest thing for him, and them, to do.

so it's one thing to look at what crowley's saying, but aziraphale's reaction? before, i just found it to be out of confusion, him not really understanding what crowley was saying, but tbh i never paid much attention to it (david stole this bit of the scene - not to put down my beloved michael here, but he did). and i know others have remarked here that aziraphale is flitting his eyes to the window and looks scared and stressed, but i don't completely think that its because he's scared that metatron is watching (although, now, i will accept with the rug thing and hypothetical s3-1941 in context it is definitely playing a part), but also because he's just starting to recognise that this is a repeat of the s3-1941 scene, "this sounds familiar, we've been here before... oh, we've definitely been here before... oh shit. i still can't do this, not unless he comes with me. we still can't be together, not in the way crowley wants. the way he's trying again, now, to ask for."

but the issue is: crowley wants to run away together. again. and i totally get why, but once again, going back to 1941: it's exactly the solution that will not work. they cannot run from this. heaven, and hell, will find them. they will come for them. it wasn't an option in 1941, it wasn't an option in 2019, and it isn't an option in 2023. aziraphale begins shaking his head - crowley is confessing, but a) aziraphale doesn't run from things, it isnt in his character, and b) it's just putting them back where they started - something that they have to hide. it defeats the purpose.

and this? yeah, im sure on neither side it was meant the way im about to interpret it, more of an unspoken thing, idk... but if the bookshop is indeed their place of safety, and is where they (as far as crowley sees it) can speak and keep their love, it makes sense that crowley is telling aziraphale he needs to stay. the bookshop can be interpreted so many ways - it represents their relationship, or that crowley means him, himself - but what if we looked at it like crowley is trying now to covet it, because it's protecting them? what if he's saying, "well, if you won't run away with me, we can't be free to have our relationship as we wanted it, not unless we stay here... heaven has come for you, has come for us, and whilst they're here we can't move. so what other option is left remain in this bookshop? to never leave it, and what we have inside it, because there's no other option in which we can be together if you won't run with me."

and what if aziraphale is saying, "no, i have an option, and that's to be together in heaven! they won't be able to do anything, not when im in the position the metatron has offered me, that can be our new bookshop... nothing lasts forever - this bookshop won't last forever, it's compromised, and we can't continue to secret away what we feel inside it, it's time to move forward."

welcome to the line that breaks my heart the most in this whole goddamn scene - and tbh i think is fairly self-explanatory in the hypothetical s3-1941 context. that aziraphale is trying, once again, to tell crowley that he is offering himself, letting them be an 'us', as crowley says shortly after - that before he couldnt do it, and these arent the best of circumstances, but they can finally do it and not have to hide in the bookshop. but crowley reminds him, "hey, i was in your shoes, remember. i wanted us to be together then, and you told me you couldn't, didn't want a halfway measure - well, now i don't either. and this will be a halfway measure, because i don't think us being together in heaven is going to go the way you hope it will. i understand a whole lot better than you do." in any case, it would explain why aziraphale choses this moment to look so devastated. this is what he promised crowley, but now crowley - to his mind, in the things left Unsaid - doesn't want it... him.

and then... back to the nightingales. they're not singing at all, not even under the rumble of traffic, like they were at the Ritz. they're completely absent - day has broken, the things unspoken have now been said, and there's no denying them anymore. from crowley's point of view, there was nothing to stop them this time, but if aziraphale won't run with him, then they have to go separate ways, because there is no other way. aziraphale knows there's the possibility that the only place they could actually be safe is heaven itself, that the bookshop was never as safe as they hoped it had been, but that crowley might actually come to see that. but the fact that crowley is resigned to just... returning to 'reality', to a world that's still turning where they aren't together? despite everything they've just said? "we could've been... us." well, that hurts.

and then... the kiss. now. im still of the mind that the kiss was an Issue. i definitely think it was meant out of love and desperation, and out of possibly being a goodbye. this would echo the hypothetical s3-1941 kiss... but it was hurtful. it was abrupt, and harsh, and not at all romantic (imo). it was possessive, and almost cruel. i do think still it was a last ditch attempt, a temptation, to get aziraphale to change his mind, before crowley leaves the shop and returns to the 'real world'. but it hurts aziraphale in many different ways - but with 1941 put in there, too? crowley is just testing his resolve, trying to push him, come around to giving in. crowley asked him to forgive him the last time he kissed aziraphale, and this time - this time, aziraphale is giving him what he asked for.

[ilynpilled]

i feel like ive seen too many very odd reads of this whole thing, so i do wanna go through jaime & the brutal murder of rhaegar and elia’s children situation.

first of all, we know jaime’s main function as a kingsguard at 15: he is a pawn in aerys and tywin’s beef. he is a hostage and a means to rob tywin of an heir

this is what rhaegar tells him too. despite jaime’s guilt, it was not a “i am leaving everything in your hands 💔 you are my most trusted knight” being said to an unseasoned teen, rhaegar isn’t dense, but a: “he is tywin’s son, he is the ideal hostage to keep him under control. a crutch for aerys and his dangerous paranoia (even if just to satiate him, which is why he was kept close, again, people knew that aerys was erratic atp.)” we have the actual conversation. rhaegar is open about this, he isnt really tricking jaime here. they also emphasize that he has to stay near aerys. that is his primary role, not anything else. what rhaegar didn’t take into consideration is that tywin, when it comes down to it, will sack the city anyway (neither did he know what would happen at the trident, and how badly the tides will turn, how it will affect aerys and how he will think he was betrayed by lewyn and dorne, how he will not let elia and the children leave etc), the stakes are too great for house lannister and we know tywin will not pick the losing side. it is already a pretty grim situation for jaime, who had witnessed the brutal executions of a bunch of people at this point, to be left alone in the hands of a mad man as someone who eventually becomes solely responsible for the red keep, while also being functionally a hostage while his father decides to betray the crown, but of course, aerys has a bigger plan to retaliate and therefore jaime also has bigger things to worry about.

jaime feels guilt and responsibility about the whole thing anyway, and the way it is read in the most bad faith way imaginable is kind of odd to me. the dream is extremely integral. it reveals things to us that jaime pushes down as a narrator. it peels off the layers. first of all, jaime is explicit about ned’s judgement, the kingslayer complex, and the role that played, and his concious expects ned to show up in the dream as well, but it is revealed to be not actually about that. he, and that external source of judgement and scorn, is not the thing that haunts him. we see that it is a deep sense of failure over being unable to triumph over contradictions. he reflects on this after the dream too: “it was not him. it was never him.” and the message is deliberately delivered by the ghosts of the people that embody that initial quixotic view of the world that he had as a boy.

i have seen people claim that the “light dimming” is meant to indicate jaime lying about not knowing (being aware that tywin can be very brutal and is capable of hurting innocents is different from jaime knowing or suspecting this order). even if that wasnt contradicted in the text (ill get to this), it doesnt seem to work with the dream? the fires also gutter out when he gets condemned for killing the king right after, there is no clear him “lying” consistency here. and even if you go by that interpretation, the flame is unaffected by the claim of “i was with the king”, which would then have to be true (and it is—so again what is jaime meant to do here?) because we know the scaling of maegor’s holdfast was happening simultaneously with aerys being murdered and the wildfire plot being stopped. the main function of this part of the dream is jaime’s light, a “romantic burning out” as george puts it, being destroyed by contradictory oaths and a fundamentally unjust and cynical world. the light being withered is about losing hope & purpose, and failing to keep vows that actually matter. rhaegar’s children, his guilt over them, and the oath they embody (protect the weak, defend the innocent) plague his mind. the “I never thought he’d hurt them” is relevant in a different way. jaime is guilty of being an extension of the lannister regime. he is guilty of enabling it. and this is more relevant to him after this event, in the present. the whole dream operates on three levels: past, present, and future.

it is why this idea comes up with the tysha situation as well. whether he knew or considered it at the time (and i do not personally think he did, or it was compartmentalized) or not is not whats truly relevant. i think the point that is being emphasized is that tywin and his legacy is something that has to be rejected entirely in the present. he knows by now inarguably. no more “looking without seeing.” this justification does not work anymore. anyway, the point is that his light goes out because of the terror of being confronted with these contradictory oaths and impossible situations where these heavy choices have to be made, with devastating costs. the vows cannot compromise. these are situations and choices that destroy a nonexistent ideal that he had always romanticized in every aspect of his life. it is a culmination of the build up of everything jaime held close to his heart being torn down during those two years serving in the kingsguard. it is about the conflict between ethics and morals: “In some queer way, that had been worse than Lord Chelsted’s screaming. “We are sworn to protect her as well,” Jaime had finally been driven to say. “We are,” Darry allowed, “but not from him.” & “After, Gerold Hightower himself took me aside and said to me, “You swore a vow to guard the king, not to judge him.”

but this situation is intentionally impossible in every aspect. morals and ethics conflict. we have the obvious of what do you do when killing the king breaks the oath you swore to protect him? what if not doing it means breaking the oath to protect the innocent? what if your heroes condemn you despite you telling them the full context of this dilemma and make the fire gutter out permanently? what if being with the king (be it to protect him or kill him to save a city) means you are not there to protect the children from your own father (who you are also sworn to obey)? the moral constructs that this society operates with is nonsense, and it is not confronted by people. can the horrors be fought at all? this is how you have someone described as a “very idealistic young man” by george turn into the amoral bitter cynic we see in the actual series who proceeds to revolve his life around another delusion instead, the only one that remains to him, and loses his own moral code due to how extremely it all conflicts with all code of ethics. it results in a cowardly acceptance of the horrors, his selfishness and faux nihilism, and leads to the enablement and perpetuation of evil.

there is a reason this whole thing haunts jaime and his narrative, and starts blending together with the starks in adwd (something jaime is directly accountable for), and is a huge factor when it comes to jaime effectively contradicting tywin’s dogma when he goes with brienne. jaime became that “knight” in many ways, he, by his own admission, became the smiling knight, who he later also labels “the mountain of my boyhood.” but he is not anymore, which is why there are notable anti parallels in that chapter.

when it comes to how much jaime knew back then, i think the text is pretty clear:

1. if jaime knew or suspected that tywin had the massacre of an entire family already in motion the hope of “leaving to make terms” would not really be there. 2. after he is found, crakehall informs him that they secured the city and the castle. jaime points out in retrospect that this was only half true, and that he couldn’t have known about the scaling (and other things) still happening by this point. jaime is under the impression that everything is secured as a result. he orders everyone who yields to be spared. he is also under the impression as per his narration that aegon is still there, safe and alive, and could be a potential king. however, he does become concerned about the possibility of another aerys. there is a reason he climbs the throne here imo. i never read this as “jaime too busy fucking around lol” or “is intentionally letting them die because his blood is in both of them.” again, he orders everyone who yields spared, and is under the impression that the castle is already secured. he even entertains the possibility of tywin being hand to aegon as king (clearly not possible with what is in the middle of happening —and if he even suspects this threat, why is this considered a possibility by him?) until he gets an aerys flashback, and decides against it despite it serving his family. he has a lot of things on his mind right now anyway to figure out tywin’s current strategy when it comes to house lannister (not to mention this is not really how jaime’s brain works, he is not very machiavellian minded) considering he just damned himself by committing one of the most significant oathbreakings in history, and that someone will fill the hole left by the person who had the power to nuke a city, something that jaime has nightmares about nearly 20 years later. and even if he was aware of this threat that he clearly wasn’t, considering the fact that it was happening simultaneously with jaime killing aerys and being found, if he knew and tried to rush over there after killing aerys, judging from the distance, it would have been too late. hence “i was with the king…” in the dream.

[wolfjackle-creates]

WIP Wednesday

So, here's a short excerpt for WIP Wednesday (963 words)! Thank you for everyone who followed my new writing blog, the response has been so unbelievable.

Trigger Warning: Discussion of parental death

Original Prompt Fill

1st Shared Segment

-----

IKnowYourSecrets: hey

IKnowYourSecrets: I know this isnt something weve done before

IKnowYourSecrets: you said you got a cell for your last bday

IKnowYourSecrets: can I call you?

IKnowYourSecrets: heres my number XXX-XXX-XXXX

-xXPolarisXx-: is everything ok?

-xXPolarisXx-: dont answer that

-xXPolarisXx-: obv not

-xXPolarisXx-: my phones in my room brb

Danny ran up stairs to grab his phone and return to the computer before anyone could close out of his chat. He checked the number and dialed it, closing out of everything and logging out as the call connected.

“Tim?” he asked as soon as the ringing stopped. “What’s happened?”

“Danny? I… this is weird talking like this.” Tim’s voice was rough and Danny couldn’t tell if that was from emotion or just how he normally sounded.

Danny laughed a little. “Yeah. It is. Give me a sec, let me get to my room and I’ll shut the door. Give us some privacy.”

“I… yeah. I might need a few minutes.”

“Are you okay?”

Tim made a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a sob and Danny all but ran up the stairs. “No, not really. Um. My mom’s dead.”

“What?!" What was the appropriate response to something like this? Sometimes he wished he had Jazz's way with words. "What happened?”

“She and dad were in the Caribbean." Tim let out a huff. "I didn’t even know they were in the Caribbean.”

Danny made a noise to indicate he was listening, but waited for Tim to continue.

“There was a local villain named Obeah man. He captured them and held them ransom. Gave them some water to drink at some point, but… it was poisoned. By the time Batman got there, it was too late. Mom died.” Tim gave another half-hysterical laugh. “And my dad is in a coma. He may never wake up.” His voice trailed off.

Danny swallowed. How does anyone respond to news like that? “I’m so sorry, Tim. How are you holding up? What’s going to happen now?”

“The funeral is in two days. Bruce is organizing it. And I’m going to stay with him, I guess. He said he’d be happy to foster me until my dad gets better.”

“Shit, Tim. Text me during the funeral if you need to.”

“I might take you up on that. You won’t mind?”

“Of course not. Every 5 seconds if you need to.”

“Distract me. What’s going on in your life? I don’t want to think about any of this anymore.”

“Oh, uh, all right. Are you sure?”

“Please, Danny.”

“If you change your mind, interrupt me anytime.” Danny chewed his lip. What on earth could he talk about in response to news like that? The test he had in English last week? That sounded so trite. “I did start karate training with…” he trailed off before he could say his mom. “Anyway, it’s going all right. I’ve basically only been taught basic moves. I only get lessons two or three times a month so it’s slow going.”

Tim’s voice was still shaky, but he seemed to latch onto the topic to Danny’s relief. “You really have to give it your all if you want to succeed. Have you learned the basic stances and things?”

“Some, I think.”

“Hold those positions. Stand in your room and just hold them for ten minutes at a time. And practice the same punch over and over. Even if your m—” Tim’s voice caught and he changed course “—instructor can’t make it. Would you be allowed to sign up for classes? Get something more consistent?”

“We don’t have the money.” Danny bit back the embarrassment he felt at admitting that. Tim was rich-rich and never had to worry about things like bills. “Ghost hunting doesn’t really pay. My parents are at least good engineers so they can fix our own appliances and vehicles. Sometimes dad or mom will fix stuff for the neighbors for some extra money.”

Tim hummed in understanding and didn’t push the issue. “How did they even get into ghosts to begin with?”

“If we ever end up in the same place, you are not allowed to ask that directly to my parents. Don’t mention ghosts at all. They won’t stop talking for hours. As for how they got into it… Dad’s always believed in the supernatural. He could’ve just as easily started tracking big foot or the Loch Ness Monster. But he met mom in university and she was stuck on ghosts. Dragged him in, too. And he’s obsessive. Once he decides on something, that’s it.

“They were both studying the supernatural and had to decide what to focus on for their doctoral research. Mom’s hated ghosts since she was a teenager. Apparently she and a friend were dared to go into a haunted house one Halloween. She doesn’t talk about it much, but her friend died that night. She blames the ghosts and has dedicated her life to hunting them ever since.”

Tim clicked his tongue. “Wow. It almost makes sense with that back story.”

Danny snorted. “Ghosts aren’t real. I dunno what killed her friend, but it wasn’t a ghost. Wish they’d decided to hunt Bigfoot instead.”

“Really? Why do you say that?”

Danny looked out his window and stared at the setting sun. “If they were hunting bigfoot, we’d probably go camping more often. And I like camping. You get the best views of the stars that way.”

“What’s your favorite constellation?”

“That’s like asking who my favorite Star Trek character is! There’s too many to choose. But do you know the folk history of Polaris? It’s why I chose my username.” Danny talked to Tim about the stars and space until Alfred called him away for dinner. They made plans to talk online again later.

-----

Next

Now, I have a question for y'all. I was planning on finishing the entire work then publishing on a once a week basis until finished (or twice a week if I had more chapters than I expect). I've got the first chapter mostly done, just need to rewrite one section and change a few lines elsewhere. I also have the next 1.5 chapters mostly done on a first draft. I could start posting now, but I can't guarantee a posting schedule and I'll probably have to take a hiatus or two as I plan to get a new job and move sometime in the next few months.

So my question, do you want me to post now or wait? It'll probably be several months if not a year before I finish depending on how long I take and how many other projects catch my eye.

-----

In other news, the creator of the original prompt started their own fill, too! If you read mine, I am requiring you to check theirs as well because it is amazing 💕. Tumblr Link and AO3 Link

Tag List

@gremlin-bot, @bonebrokebuddy, @britcision, @lady-time-lord-, @welcometosasakiworld, @akikkobara, @phoenixdemonqueen, @dolfay, @skulld3mort-1fan, @we-ezer, @markus209, @sjrose1216, @onyxlightdragon, @dragonsrequiem, @jesus-camp-the-sequel, @spidey29phangirl, @kyrianclawraith, @evilminji, @introvert-even-on-the-internet, @emergentpanda-blog, @lexdamo, @v-inari, @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit, @longlivethefallen

I removed the names of some people who requested a tag back in November but didn’t interact with the last snippet I shared. Since it’s been so long, I wasn’t sure if you were still interested. I’ll be more than happy to add anyone else, re-add anyone I took off, or take off anyone who doesn’t want future tags! Or start a separate list just for after there’s an AO3 link. Just let me know!

[paingoes]

Rubies

Habits

i really struggled w this one for some reason LOL. hope the language isnt too messy.  this part is really heavy on the conditioning aspect 

(Content: living weapon whumpee, conditioning, past emotional abuse, past captivity, implied child abuse, brief suicide mention)

=========

Lun left shortly after that. They’d said it was because of work — Lun had been inexplicably spared any penalty for the Centurion disaster and was not kept on leave the way the others had been — but Delta could not help but feel that it was because of him. 

Apollo still flitted around the house, being a bit kinder than he needed to be. He apologized again and again for having yelled in the first place; it was clear they had different definitions of what yelling meant. Delta would not have resented him for it even if he had. He’d been the one to overstep; Apollo’s reaction seemed subdued, if anything. He felt like something worse should have happened. Was that why he’d done it? 

He was starting to push his bounds, a little, trying to see what would break. It was slow-going, though. He was still afraid, still respectful, still incredibly grateful. It was just unsettling to not see anything delimited. There was nothing to ground him.

“Can I come out?” Delta asked softly from his doorway. He knew the answer, but it made him feel better to ask.

“Can I use the laptop here?” That one was more important to him. He liked being in proximity to Apollo and he was slowly warming to the internet again, but never both at the same time. He still reflexively hid the device whenever anyone came close enough that they might see he had it. He could only use it comfortably in his room — and the room got too quiet sometimes.

“Mm. You can sit on the couch, if you want,” Apollo answered, patiently reminding him. Delta shook his head. One thing at a time. He lowered himself to the ground by the coffee table. The screen was mostly concealed the way he held it so close to his chest, but it was a start.

==========

They still hadn’t caught Paris. The latest CCTV footage showed him light up a spliff as he pumped the ship with gasoline. There was no audio, but the way Paris jumped back indicated exactly what moment the gunshot had sounded off. The bullet had just missed his shoulder. He scrambled back into the ship. The gas pump clanked heavily against the ground as the ship sped away from it.

“Fucking idiot,” Delta muttered beneath his breath.

“What was that?” Apollo called from the kitchen.

“Not you. I’m sorry,” Delta said quickly. He flinched in anticipation of being hit. But Apollo went back to baking without paying him further mind. When he saw that he was making no movement towards him, Delta returned his attention to the laptop.

He’d been following the manhunt with some morbid curiosity ever since he’d learned Paris had survived that night on the airship. He’d never known anyone half so hard to kill. Like a cockroach. 

He remembered how cold Nezu had been. That day had been forever burned into his memory. How satisfied the guards had looked when they had caught him. How he been locked alone in that dark closet, left to dread his own fate. The casual way in which he’d suggested Delta’s limbs be cut off so that he could never escape. Paris had protected him from it. It was the kindest thing he had ever done for him — and Delta had been in the palm of his hand afterwards. A fragment of that sickly loyalty remained. Nezu had not made public what he intended to do with Paris, but he wanted him alive. Despite everything, Delta felt a touch of concern for him. He hoped Paris had the sense to kill himself before he was taken. 

==========

“Concern” did not even begin to cover the atmosphere at Galatea. Even as far removed from it as Delta was, where they were supposed to be off-duty, it trickled down. 

“What’s going on at Uracy?” She had asked just before she left, leaning over the counter. She’d said it low so that Delta couldn’t hear, but he was very finely attuned to that hushed tone of voice. If anything, it drew his attention more.

“Don’t worry, Kitten.” Apollo had just shook his head. He didn’t like to talk about it while they were home. 

Still, Delta could see the way his eyes got distant and contemplative just looking through the mail. He heard the phone calls even as Apollo stepped out onto the porch to take them. Delta could tell there were too many fires to put out.

Apollo didn’t offer and Delta wouldn’t have dared ask what was happening out there. But his curiosity was unkillable. He got glimpses of it through the laptop — crackdowns by the capitol, martial law declared among the harder fought territories, mass executions and exodus among the nobility who had fallen out of lockstep. He knew from experience that the pinhole view that the internet offered was often so far removed from the reality of the situation as to be essentially useless. The dissonance had even been funny once, in the worst kind of way. Now that pinhole was all he had. 

========

It was late into the night when Kitty finally came home. 

She dragged herself in through the door, stumbling a little, a small bell around her neck jingling. She’d been giggling. One of her hands was wrapped around the arm of the woman she’d brought in with her. Iza moved a bit steadier, a bit heavier, but she’d been grinning too. The both of them were piss drunk.

Delta sank down a bit in his seat. He’d worked himself up to using the chair, gradually, as long as Apollo was in the other room and not looking at him too hard. His hand stilled on the notepad just as the door opened. From the angle he sat at, he couldn’t see them enter, but he still knew immediately that they were wasted. They couldn’t see him from that angle either, though. He held still.

Apollo came out from the back of the house, rushing to meet them in the foyer.

There came a little squeee~ when Kitty saw him again. She tackled him, knocking him back into Delta’s line of sight. He watched as the new person entered the frame along with them. Short cropped hair. A tight and muscular figure that stood out against the black of her dress. Apollo’s face fell a bit when he saw her. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, swaying a little. 

“Oh, Ize. You two didn’t drive, did you?” He said into her shoulder.

“We got a ride.” Kitty bounced back on her heels. She had moved into the house enough that Delta would have been visible where he’d tucked himself in towards the corner, but it was dark enough that she did not seem to.

Iza returned the hug, then slowly unbound herself. Apollo led her over by the kitchen. It was the brightest room in the house; Delta had been sitting in near darkness when they’d come in. He watched the way they moved cautiously. Iza still had the bottle in her arms, though by now it was mostly empty. 

He’d seen her only once before, the first time he’d woken up after the rescue. He’d still been stunned and in the aftermath of fever — and she had been brisk, one among many, not paying him any particular mind. He’d seen her once and then never again, but Apollo had spoken of her often. He said she’d taken the rap for everything. She was the only senior officer they could convince to go along with the plan; all of the blame fell on her when it was over. 

“I haven’t even heard that many bad things about Bartuga. I thought for sure it would be Iselin or Kone or something,” Apollo’s voice carried softly through the house.

“It’s the flight conditions; they’re impossible. Bad connections too. You might not hear from me for a bit,” Iza explained glumly.

“What did he say to you?” 

“That I’m getting off too easy proportional to the consequences. He thinks he was premature about it.”

“Then do you think he’ll change his mind?” Kitty’s tail flickered quickly.

“No.” Iza shook her head, “He doesn’t go back on his word. It’s not like being any harder on us is going to undo the damage.”

“I think it was inevitable,” Apollo said, “The end of the war. The bloodline loyalists were already in a death spiral.”

“We thought we’d have a few more months, though,” Iza said, “Sunny, if I’d have known…”

Delta knew what she was talking about. The civil war had been a golden age for the resistance. Nezu and Paris were both getting routed constantly by rebel groups, too busy fighting each other to meaningfully suppress opposition. A divided empire was so much easier to topple. But that was over now. Nezu was in power. 

It gave Delta some bleak satisfaction to know he actually had been holding the line in some ways, some awful guilt to know that was no longer the case. He knew the kind of man Nezu was. He had felt marginally less sickened fighting against his forces than he did anybody else. 

If Galatea asked him to do it again, he would. The thought startled him, but it held firm even as he turned it over in his mind. It was his absence that had ended the war and allowed for Nezu to secure his position. Because he had asked them too. Because he had wanted an out. That debt would not go unpaid. If they asked him, he would. It was the least he could do. Of course he would. Why else would Levon have kept him alive? 

He clicked the pen a little, a nervous habit. He realized their conversation had faded out. When he looked up, they were all looking back at him.

“Oh hey,” Kitty laughed nervously. Her eyes were huge as she looked into the darkness that surrounded him. “Were you there the whole time?”

Delta nodded slow, like any sudden movements might get him hurt.

Apollo was looking at him strangely. Delta had received it plenty of times before, but never from him. It was the look people gave him when they realized he was listening — that he’d been listening the whole time. There was less suspicion in Apollo’s face, but just as much surprise and puzzlement. There was something irrevocable in it. Delta knew that once he’d seen him like that, it couldn’t be undone. He got the killer sense that he had shown his hand too early.

“Hey. C’mere.” Iza grinned drunkenly, “Got something for you.”

Something in her voice had done it. He had already stood up just as soon as he heard C’mere. He crossed the threshold and knelt in front of her, immediately, without resistance.

“Ize,” Apollo had said in warning just as soon as he’d seen Delta lowering. He couldn’t have held any sway over it, though. Delta was tethered. He was okay, too. He could do it. It wasn’t fear he felt, really. At worst, it was numbness. At its best, it was familiarity, the kind of binding he’d been desperate for.

He couldn’t tell if her expression was of confusion or exasperation, but he recognized the hand sign. Up. He rose obediently, forcing himself to keep his hands still. He didn’t know what to expect with her. It didn’t matter. He’d do it. Or take it, if he needed to. He wished dimly that the other two weren’t there to watch.

She fumbled through the sleeves of her bag. He stared blankly as she produced a silver key from inside one of the pockets. She pinched it in between her thumb and forefinger, holding it out to him.

“Here. Yours.” She tapped her neck a few times. 

Oh. He felt at his own gingerly, the place where the collar pressed up against the skin. His finger drifted over the cleft of the keyhole. The old collar didn’t even have a key. This new one was so tame and commercial that he could’ve broken it off with his fingers if he had wanted to. He never would’ve dared. He turned the key over in his hands. The meaning of the gesture was not lost on him.

“Thank you,” he said, genuinely.

“Mhm. I mean, I wouldn’t actually…”

“No,” he agreed. The powers were strong enough to burn his body up if they weren’t hemmed in, not to mention everything else. He wouldn’t actually unlock it. But she’d given him the key. It didn’t belong to anyone else. 

He played with the key in his hands, trying to look at her without quite staring. He realized he was still waiting to be dismissed. Apollo seemed to realize it too, gently calling him back. He pulled out one of the kitchen chairs for him. It still felt incredibly wrong for him to be doing it. He wanted to sink back onto his knees and to beg their forgiveness, for all of it. For all the complications his existence had caused. It wouldn’t do any good. He had to rationalize Apollo’s gesture as an order. He sat down in the chair.

“Isn’t Bartuga the one with the surfing?” Kitty pulled herself up onto the counter, lightly kicking her legs back and forth.

“It’s the one with the ennui, too,” Iza frowned.

Delta listened to their speech carefully. Their conversation had definitely lightened since they’d realized he was there. It made him feel like he’d gotten caught. But there was nothing reproachful in how they treated him. He stayed silent, watching out of the corner of his eye. 

========

“Delta?” Apollo caught him the next afternoon. He’d been on the living room floor again, still working at the notepad. He liked writing — and he liked that none of them could read Latin, so his annotations were kept safe. He looked up from the page.

“Yes, sir?” 

Responsive. Still respectful. Apollo didn’t correct him for it this time, which he’s grateful for. It was so deeply ingrained that it was hard to stop — and even the gentle reminders made him feel like he was being scolded for it.

“Do you want to sit outside for a minute?” He’d phrased it as a question, but Delta sensed it was not. He closed the notebook.

“Yes, sir.”

He followed him out onto the back porch. The air was kind of wet and sticky, like it might rain at any second. But when the breeze came, it was pleasant. It carried the smell of the magnolias that had been planted in a ring around the house. 

He sat down on the wooden steps while Apollo hung back by the railing — not facing him head on, which would’ve been a lot more intimidating. Not getting in his face, the way everyone else had always insisted on. Delta twirled his own hair between his fingers; it was another childhood habit he’d thought he’d outgrown. His early handlers had punished him for fidgeting until he learned to suppress it altogether. He understood why; if he looked nervous, it cast doubt on the whole operation. But it made him feel better — and so far, they hadn’t said anything about it, even though he’d been doing it almost constantly since he arrived. It hurt his heart how patient they were being with him.

“Are you comfortable here?” Apollo asked, like he had read his mind. Delta blushed; he didn’t know why. It embarrassed him how soft he had gotten.

“Yes, sir.” He nodded. 

“Are you just saying that?” Apollo tested.

“No, sir. I’m…really grateful.” He’d meant it the first time. Grateful was the right word. He might’ve said happy, had he not been told over and over again that his feelings did not matter. Had be not been made to repeat it until he believed it. He worked a small braid into his hair. 

“Okay. I just wanted to check in with you. I can’t really tell what you’re thinking, most of the time. I don’t want to assume and be wrong. Remember you can talk to us — not just when you’re spoken to. If you have questions, you can ask.” 

Delta nodded, feeling guilty. He’d gotten caught — really early on, too. Apollo’s expression softened. He came off the railing a bit, standing closer to the opening where the steps led down.

“Is there a reason you haven’t?” 

Delta did not know how to express just how compulsory his silence had been. His throat often felt like it was physically cutting him off from speaking. Even when he was asked to, given permission to, he sometimes had to force himself. The thought of doing so unprompted made his chest tighten. He looked at Apollo apologetically, at that exact loss now. Apollo seemed to understand.

“We weren’t trying to keep you in the dark. You have a right to know what’s going on out there. Levon just really wanted you to take the time to recover, so we didn’t volunteer it at first.”

“…Recover from what?” Delta asked.

His nose had mostly healed from where it’d been broken. His ribs were less sore and the cast around his arm could come off soon. And he never even needed any of those healed to use his powers. He could still work.

Apollo looked very sad. It was his turn to be stuck finding his voice.

“Maybe ‘readjust’ is the better word?” He settled on. “You’ve been through a lot and you’re in a new environment. We didn’t want to put too much on you. But if you really want to know, it’s your choice. You just need to tell us.”

Delta nodded. That was much easier said than done, but the instructions were clear. He hadn’t been punished for eavesdropping — and Apollo had made it seem like he wouldn’t need to. He undid the braid from his hair.

=======

Iza departed that night, having slept over the night before. She was leaving for real now, off to the new post she’d been assigned to, returning to work. Delta leaned against the arm of the couch, watching her search through her bags. making sure she had everything. She caught him looking and winked.

“Good seeing you again,” she said from around the edge of the pen she had in her mouth.

“…Thank you,” Delta said quietly. He messed with the sleeves of his hoodie, finding it difficult to look at her head on. 

“Apollo tell you to say that?” She asked. 

“No, miss,” Delta answered honestly. He didn’t have to. “Just me.”

He was oddly calm. He took in her appearance, remembering just how quickly she’d been able to get him entranced. She didn’t look like Paris, not really. She was just more battle-ready than any of the others had looked, angular, more haughty. The alcohol had helped, obviously. She reminded him of Paris when Paris was good. Unbelievably, he found himself dropping his guard around her.

“Yeah, well.” She shrugged, “You’re welcome.”

His gratitude was clearly an inadequate consolation prize. She held up a finger gun to him, pretending to shoot him with a soft pew noise. He did not react.

“Be good,” she said. He watched her go.

…………

tags:

@catnykit @snakebites-and-ink @vivulapom @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump

@pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump @fuckass1000 @fuckcapitalismasshole @defire

@micechomper @writereleaserepeat @aloafofbreadwithanxiety

[russilton]

im worried that redbulls want of franco could be related to markos comments on south americans not being as good as max of course perez isnt acrually a south american but it still stands as a concern to me that they want franco over their other seat prospects because they think hell play a good second driver

My guy it should stand as a bigger concern to you that Checo isn’t South American because it points out that Marko is a decaying shell who can’t even get his bigotry right. Both he and Horner have made multiple xenophobic comments about Checo they walked back or waved off as jokes, and Max has defended them for it.

With all respect to Franco, Red-bull don’t want him because they think he’s going to be a new champion, they want him because he’s shiny and new and they want to put a claim on him before anyone else can. Red-Bull specialises in giving poison apples to desperate hopefuls.

They did the exact same thing with Nyck De Vries, and if you want a more worrying indicator as to Franco’s future you need only look at what happened to Nyck. Or Pierre. Or Alex. Or Danill. Either you swim and they act as if it was their plan all along. Or you stumble and your career dies in half a season.

There’s a reason we call that seat cursed and it’s not really about superstition. It’s because Red-bull uses drivers like skipping stones. You fly or you sink and you’re not getting recovered unless you provide enough money to justify it. And that doesn’t even start on the state of their Junior program, they’ve always got three or four all waiting like starving mouths for a seat, Hadjar, Hauger, Iwasa, Marti, Goethe. You are always replaceable.

A true and genuine argument can be made that having a seat is always preferable to no seat at all because a foot in the door keeps you in the minds of others— it’s how Ollie got his seat if we’re honest, it’s how Mick remains in contention to return, it’s how Nyck got in. But the Red bull seat is a Monkeys Paw if I have ever seen one.

[aettuddae]

OH MY GODDD OH MH GOD THE YURI😭😭THE YURI ITS EATINF MY BRAIN!! ITS EATING MY BRAIN!!‼️‼️‼️

daein was no longer in the same place she had been all night, but was now in the arms of her best friend, jennie, who had forced her to dance with her to get her to change that moody attitude she used to have. karina knew that the interaction probably had no hidden agenda, but she couldn't calm the pang she felt in her chest as she watched daein let the other girl move to the music, rubbing against her body, or as her hands roamed her neck, her arms and her waist. but what made her insides burn the most was the stupid grin that lay on hong's lips.

jimin had kissed her, had cared for her, but that had never made her smile.

"jennie wouldn't be with daein." she assured and looked karina in the face who was giving her a sidelong glance, one that indicated she wasn't sure if she believed her. "yes, she's my best friend and she would never do that to me."

“if we hadn't stopped you today you would have tried to kiss jennie." she accused. "and i know that, i'm sure of it." she wouldn't cry in front of her, but she wanted to. "because when you're like this you don't care if you feel anything or not, you just want attention, someone to love you for a few seconds."

I KNOW YOU DID THIS FOR ME DDAE 😭😭LO HICISTE POR ME😭😭DAENNIEEE MÁS DAENNIE PORFAAA PLEASSEE 🙏🙏

and if I say this.. it may get me booed off aettuddae anon stage for good.. but they can’t silence me. JIMIN AND MINJEONG REALIZE DAEIN ISNT SHIT LEAVE HER GET TGT AND DAENNIE 🙏🙏DAENNIE REAL!! and remember when I said I’d write to make it happen.. watch me cook.

jennie was perfect. the top student, the most loyal, selfless girl in the world. she’d do anything for her friends, for her parents— she just wanted to help people, to do and be good. jennie always put other people before herself. she worked herself to the bone for her parents, she never did anything she really wanted, all because she needed to study— she did everything for her friends, strangers, sometimes— nothing for herself. not really.

so when daein comes, an insufferable, fucked up girl— jennie’s assigned to take care of her. daein is difficult, and a mess, but they’re friends. they become friends, somehow. jennie wants to help her— she loves seeing daein do the right thing, because that’s her work. she’s the one that helped her, she’s doing good. she’s helping her, she’s seeing the effects of doing the right thing and she likes it. jennie always does the right thing, always, but you don’t really see the effects of it till years later, but this? it’s instant gratification.

so when jennie finds out her best friend likes daein, and daein likes her best friend, she tells herself it’s even better that she’s doing this, because she wants her best friend’s-future-girlfriend to be perfect for her. so selfless.

jennie really does care about daein, though— even with all the issues and the drama surrounding jimin and minjeong and daein, daein’s still her friend. she’ll still help her whenever she needs— so why does she keep calling jimin? why not her? It’s not like she really cares, it just doesn’t make sense. jennie could help her, and it wouldn’t make minjeong jealous! daein is just making things harder for herself.

but maybe daein’s rubbing off on her, because jennie’s going to a party, and she’s scared of daein’s bike, especially because the girl isn’t in her right mind, but there’s a stupid part of her brain that thinks ‘if daein’s with me, I’ll be safe’. It’s a dumb thought, and she knows the opposite is true, but she gets on the bike. she goes to the party.

and when they get there, daein is acting bitter, and irritated, and she knows that just means that daein’s upset— sad. she doesn’t know why that thought bothers her so much. she tries to fix it.

dancing with daein is good. it feels good. jennie has never been one for letting herself enjoy things— she’s kind of a martyr, that way. the selfless only suffer. but here, in this dimly lit, loud space— jennie feels like this is right. daein’s hands are all over her, and her eyes are half lidded, and jennie finds herself touching her back, just to try it. jennie’s never really done this before, and for the first time she feels some kind of spark, some kind of draw. maybe daein feels it too. and when daein smiles at her, she thinks— does daein smile like that at all the girls she brings home? did she smile like that at karina, at minjeong

fuck, minjeong, her best friend. this is wrong. this is so wrong-

and before she can rip herself away, causing a scene, minjeong and jimin magically appear. great. they take daein away, and her hands flex without her knowing. why do they deserve it? jennie hasn’t ever had anything she’s wanted in her life. why can’t she ever have what she wants? but then she realizes she’s acting like a child. pathetic. minjeong is closer to her, and asks something about if she’s pathetic. jennie’s thinking, ‘I’m so pathetic,’ so maybe she says something like that to her. she doesn’t remember. jennie takes a shot. she doesn’t do stuff like this often, she reminds herself.

jimin’s observation was right, though. not like she’d ever know— daein doesn’t smile at jimin like that. she smiles at minjeong like that. at jennie. but maybe it’s an act. it probably is.

jennie is minjeong’s best friend. jennie is loyal, and selfless— she is. she would never get in the way of minjeong’s happiness. she had been snapped out of it. but that doesn’t mean that the feelings go away. it just means that she pushes them down. like always, she pushes them down to do the right thing. jennie will always do the right thing.

but what if minjeong and jimin were too busy arguing to notice? unlikely, but they got oddly wrapped up in each other when they were fighting. daein and jennie are back in an empty dorm, the rest of the school quiet— most of the students probably at a party— and daein sees her for the first time and thinks god, she’s pretty. maybe it’s not the first time she’s thought that, but it’s the first time she’s thought that and seen jennie as a friend, not just a stranger. the sight of her makes her face a bit red, and she looks away.

and TRUSTT THEY KISS LIKE THAT ONE DELETED BECHLOE SCENE TRUST‼️‼️TRUST IN ME‼️‼️TRUST ME TRUST ME (https://youtu.be/x8H_CZU24V4?si=ZDpbqNAIgAZDJ76u)

they don’t talk about it. jennie doesn’t usually lie, but she tells minjeong she felt sick and went home. minjeong doesn’t have a reason not to believe her.

but now, daein calls jennie instead of jimin. and even though jennie is always doing something— studying, extracurriculars, her duties— jennie will either drop it, or get out of it as fast as possible to help daein. if daein’s sad, if she’s anxious, she calls jennie. jennie will be there. If she’s studying? then she’ll come study in daein’s dorm. if she’s doing her assignments? she’ll bring them over to daein’s dorm. jennie has been careful to never leave a notebook there, just.. for no reason (to avoid suspicion). daein hasn’t been smoking as much, or drinking, since jennie’s been with her. she still does, jennie knows, but not when she’s around. jimin still talks to her, jennie knows that— she also knows daein is kind of using her. daein will use anyone to make her feel loved, but— jennie already likes daein, so she supposes she can help.

(daein, one night, when she was drunk, tried to kiss jennie again. jennie pulled away so quickly, looking at the wall, looking away, and she says— ‘daein.’— ‘minjeong is my best friend. she likes you’. daein never tries anything again, but she does notice jennie’s eyes are watery. daein doesn’t really register hers are too)

and when daein finally gets with whoever she’s supposed to be with— jimin, or minjeong— jennie says she’s happy for her. jennie doesn’t tell her that she cries that night, or that she hates herself for crying because she’s such a horrible friend, that she’s not selfless or loyal because she’s betrayed minjeong. jennie doesn’t even make it two weeks before breaking down in front of minjeong, telling her everything, every detail, and the worst part? she tells her “I love her. I’m so sorry, I love her”.

minjeong doesn’t scream, or yell, even if she’s feeling angry, even if she’s a little betrayed. because jennie just wanted her to be happy. it’s a shame jennie can’t ever really get that, if you think about it.

(and when it inevitably doesn’t work out with minjeong or karina, and daein finds herself with jennie again, they decide to keep it that way. minjeong and karina get a little too close, bonding over having liked daein and all her bullshit, and they don’t really care that much about the wreck of a girl anymore. jennie does, though. daein’s gotten better. it’s all because of jennie. they don’t say I love you for a very, very long time. but they don’t have to. they both know)

IDGAF IF THIS IS OOC OMG 😭😭I had to rewrite this twice because my first ask got deleted #rip #that one was way better.

uhmmm daennie truthers wya come get y’all juice I did it PLEASE DDAE DAENNIE GIVE ME DAENNIE😭😭THEY DINT HAVE TO HE ENDGAME MORE DAENNIE MOMENTS PLEASEEE PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏I JSUT WANT THEM TO MAKE OUT BY ACCIDENT AND THEN NEVER SPEAK ABOUT IT AGAIN THE PLOT CAN CONTINUE AS NIRMAL JUST NEED THAT ADDED IN PLEASPLEAPLSE DOOMED YURI PLEA-[A TRAIN RUNS OVER ME]

-💿

well, damn, anon, hello.

i read all this, but i didn't write down my reactions i'm sorry 😭 i'll just confess that i did add the little daennie for you ! lol

also, the angst and the yearning in this is TOP TIER, honestly YOUR MIND 👏🏼 and that build-up to the kiss is insane, you had me at the edge of my sit.

i'll leave it to the rest of the community to read your fanfiction of my fanfiction because this is amazing and you're amazing writer. if more people were to want me to write a daennie piece i could add it as a high garden academy extra, so let me know !

and enjoy the mind of our disk anon !

[maukiki1-but-cringefail]

okay i probably would've asked more abt your bsb thoughts sooner except i got shy. but i'm going insane rn so i gotta ask.... your thoughts on zeo. bc when i watched v-force nearly 2 years ago the robot twist took me out for like an entire day and now i'm still insane about them. like it's ridiculous but also really fucked up when you think abt it. and if/when you get to the manga. well i haven't read most of it EXCEPT for volumes 7-9 and vol 9..... ough. manga zeo my also beloved. i think abt this kid and their fucked up ass dad so much

omg im gonna lose my mind i just spent so much time typing the anwser to this and tumblr just DELETED IT ARE YOU KIDDING ME😭 sigh okay ill do it again ig...

i read the manga+rising but the manga version of zeo didnt really stand out to me so im gonna talk about the anime version of him only.

The season hes in, v force, is notoriously fucking boring (i knew this before watching v force even though i stayed out of any info abt bsb to avoid spoilers AND i still knew, imagine that) its like an entire season of filler but the character who stands out the most is Zeo obviously. ozuma/ozma is there too but eh. standing out in v force isnt saying much considering its not really intresting but that doesnt mean i hate him. hes .. neat but i dont think about him a lot.

in the anime when they first started hinting at something being off with zeo (and learning who his father is) my IMMIDIATE guess was oh this guys some kind of lab experiment, ailen or a robot and i was right lol. i mean considering his fathers job it isnt hard to predict but it is a kids show🤷

what i thought the most in the finale fight was okay, so he wants to be human, my boy yearns for the flesh, but like.. why? i know he has zagarts dead sons memories inside of him but if hes human enough to live and not notice he was a robot whats so bad about being a machine??? (robot propoganda lmfao) . he talks like a human feels like a human walks like a human feels like a human.. the gang™️ points this out too. i think there shouldve been more physical indicators to this guy straight up being a machine.. so many cool shit u can do with a ROBOT BLADER HELLOOOO ... ??? like do u have any problem in ur system or did u just not notice?? also how long has he been a robot? i feel like i needed more explanation on the dead son thing. yall couldnt take all those pointless boring episodes of those npc dudes trying to steal the sacred beasts and give it to zeo's backstory? what happened to this child? how long has he been a robot? when how which who which colour how many??2?2? was the original child also mint haired lmao? -also his hair colour is rll nice ^^

but yeah i think hes neat and probably the best character in his season.. i think his design is decent too, atleast the one w the white-ish outfit

oh and also this shit was raw as FUCK