#this isn’t my ideal environment

[deityofhearts]

something about me attracts people who love the horror genre

[stuckinapril]

do u consider urself muslim

Nope. My family is so I have a healthy respect for the religion/the culture that surrounds it, but I myself am non-religious. I’m really good at coexisting w them tho. Like I’m American but if I ever visit my Arab family abroad I’m not gonna like look down on the way they live lol

[aesethewitch]

Ambient Spells

The idea of the ambient spell isn’t so uncommon. My use of the word “ambient” may throw you for a bit of a loop. An ambient spell is any spell that permeates a space in an unobtrusive way. They affect the area surrounding their vessel and require little to no maintenance or upkeep. They’re long-term workings that require varying levels of effort to put together and cast. Depending on what exactly you need, they can be as simple as setting out a bowl of salt or as complex as crafting a home decor piece from scratch.

I always recommend making ambient spells that are self-fueling. I often refer to them also as “set it and forget it” spells. They’re the crockpot of spellwork — work up front for a slow burn output.

Chances are that you’re already aware of or even know how to create ambient spells. Any spell that affects the vibe of a room, for example, would count as an ambient spell. Lighting incense specifically to invite in positive energy counts. A ward that sucks up baneful magic and transforms it into blessings also counts. The primary idea of an ambient spell is that it’s making a change to your environment in the background. It’s the cool breeze in summertime, the subtle piano at a fancy restaurant, the scent of fresh-baked cookies fading as the day goes by. Positive, but not overt.

When to Use (or Not Use) an Ambient Spell

By their nature, ambient spells are fairly general workings. They can be quite powerful, of course, just like any other spell. The thing to keep in mind is that they’re not ideal for targeted magic.

For example, I wouldn’t create an ambient spell to banish someone from my life. I might make an ambient spell to make an area unwelcoming to them, or to anyone who would do me harm. The unwelcoming vibe might discourage them from coming around, sure. But it may not work outside of the area the spell lives in; and it may not get rid of them for good.

Similarly, an ambient spell might make a good general ward for keeping out loud, unwelcome spirits, but it wouldn’t specifically cast out the one particular spirit who’s been causing problems. It might discourage their behavior, but it wouldn’t necessarily get rid of them. A concentrated, single-use banishing spell would work significantly better for that purpose. Afterwards, an ambient spell can keep the area clear of that spirit’s influence.

I also wouldn’t use an ambient spell to draw in specific success. General success or money, absolutely — whatever wants to come my way is welcome, via a basic money bowl set up next to my wallet. But if I specifically want a promotion or a particular amount of money, I’m not going to leave that to the ambient money spell. I would craft a spell specifically for what I’m looking for.

When deciding what kind of spell to cast, keep this idea in mind. An ambient spell is best for behind-the-scenes results that happen without your concentrated effort. When you want something specific, a more targeted spell will work better nine times out of ten.

Creating an Ambient Spell

It’s possible to create an ambient spell with nothing but energy work. However, I often find that these fade quickly and don’t lend themselves well to self-fueling. They tend to need more active upkeep than I prefer for a spell that’s meant to be set and let go. I recommend choosing an appropriate vessel of some kind to contain the spell to help it last longer.

How do you decide what’s an appropriate vessel, though? And how do you set one up? How do you make a spell self-fueling? Let’s start from the top and go in order.

Identify the Purpose

Decide what the spell will do. This is going to define the components and the way you’re going to cast the spell. In my experience, ambient spells work best when they’re given a single purpose. For example, I wouldn’t make a spell that’s a ward and a cleanser and a spirit welcome mat. It dilutes the purpose. Choose a single, clear motive for the spell.

Choose a Vessel

Now that you know what your spell will do, it’s time to decide what it’s going to look like. The vessel you choose should reflect the spell’s purpose in some way.

An open bowl works well for absorbing energy. Why? It’s open. The face of it is open to the room, ready to take in whatever kind of energy you assign to its contents.

A closed jar, on the other hand, would be good for repelling. It’s closed off and sealed — a one-way road going out of the jar and into the room to clear it.

A wreath hung at the door could serve a lot of purposes, depending on what it’s made with. I would use a wreath as an agent of transformation or as an energy emitter to release a certain energy into the space.

A stone makes a solid vessel for protection or grounding. I have one on my working altar to help keep me in the moment and create a good environment for working magic.

When you’re choosing your spell vessel, keep in mind how visible you want it to be. Certain vessels are going to naturally be more obvious than others. A wreath, for example, is hard to miss — but it also just looks like nice home decor. A jar full of herbs and things would be more obviously a spell, but they can be small and easily hidden.

I have both obvious and hidden ambient spells peppered around my home for varying purposes. If you’re keeping your practice a secret, you’ll likely want to keep your spells more obscure or hidden. But if you aren’t, and you can make the choice of whether you want the spell to be in plain sight or not, consider the effect you want the spell to have.

If you want the spell to absorb bad vibes, baneful magics, the evil eye, or other negativity, a hidden spell might serve you well. Hiding the vessel somewhere means that whoever’s casting against you may not expect the resistance. On the other hand, if you want a vessel that allows friendly spirits to visit you during the holidays, a beautiful centerpiece on your dining table that’s charmed with spirit-friendly magic might serve the purpose.

Choose an Energy Source

Ambient spells need to draw energy from somewhere. Think of it like a battery. The ingredients you put into the spell may provide a temporary charge, but if you want the spell to be long-term, it needs an input. How will your spell recharge itself?

If you want the spell to be shorter-term, only a few days or so, then you can skip this step. But if you want an ambient spell to last a while, like a ward or vibe-adjuster, you’ll need to think about this carefully.

Like when choosing the vessel, the energy source should match the purpose of the spell. For example, I have a simple room refresher spell set on a table that’s central to my home. The purpose of it is to take anxiety and negative thoughts to turn them into positivity. I set it up so that the act of walking past the bowl swirls the air around it, and therefore also the energy around it. That kinetic energy fuels the bowl’s magic and keeps it going. I don’t have to actively recharge the bowl or its contents, because we walk past it constantly.

Another example would be an ambient spell to help you do the dishes. (Whether that’s remembering to do them or finding the motivation for it is up to you.) The fuel for the spell could be the act of walking into or past the kitchen, running water elsewhere in the home, or even cooking or eating.

The energy source could also be something like lighting a candle next to or over the vessel on a schedule, if you prefer. This would add an upkeep step, of course, and wouldn’t be my first choice. The only ambient spell I do this with is my money bowl, and that’s because it’s tuned to be able to shift focus from day to day depending on what exactly I need (commissions versus tips versus discounts, etc.).

Setting Up an Ambient Spell

Decide where you want to place your spell’s vessel ahead of time. If you have pets or kids, make sure you put whatever it is out of their reach. If the vessel is something like an uncovered bowl, you’ll want to be sure that it isn’t going to get knocked over. Similarly, if it’s made of glass, you don’t want it to fall and shatter. If your vessel needs to be hidden somehow, determine where you’ll keep it. It would be smart to make note of where the spell is and what it looks like in your grimoire or spell notebook just so that if you forget about it, you can identify it later on down the road.

After you know where you want to put it, it’s time to choose ingredients and fill your vessel. The components you decide on should, obviously, match your goals.

Casting an ambient spell is much the same as casting a regular spell. The only thing to keep in mind is that an ambient spell has a sort of prolonged release.

Upkeep and Care of an Ambient Spell

For the most part, ambient spells should require little to no upkeep. With that said, you should still do routine check-ups on them. I include them in my regular rounds when I check on my wards and various protections, but you could do yours whenever it makes the most sense to you.

Depending on how you decided to fuel your spell, you may need to do a bit of feeding. Whether that’s lighting a new candle, refilling a cup of water, mixing around a pile of herbs, or giving the vessel a little shake, do so anytime it feels like the spell’s energy is flagging. It may take some practice in sensing energy to know exactly when a spell needs refueling. This is partly why I suggest creating a schedule to check in on the spell; ambient spells are a great type to practice sensing spell energy, since they’re typically long-lasting and may wax or wane depending on the day.

If your spell is fully self-fueling and it doesn’t seem to be working anymore (or at all, even from the start), it’s time to take it apart. Discard disposable components according to your practice’s tenets. Cleanse the rest for future use. I would suggest washing your spell vessel alongside magical cleansing.

A Ready-to-Use Example

Here’s an extremely simple example of an ambient spell I use in my home to keep the main living area light, fresh, and conducive to getting work done. Since both my partner and I work from home, it’s important that our areas have an aura of focus.

Materials:

- A small bowl, preferably green or brown - Enough salt to fill the bowl halfway - A few pinches of dried rosemary

Instructions:

1. Ensure the bowl is clean and dry. Pour salt into the bowl until it’s halfway full. 2. Sprinkle dried rosemary into the salt and stir. 3. Instruct the spell, in whatever way makes sense to you, to exude focused but calm energy into the space. 4. Place the bowl in an area that is frequently trafficked. 5. Leave the bowl in place until it no longer provides a fresh, focused energy to the space. Dispose of the contents, clean the bowl, and reset the spell.

Notes: - This spell is powered by movement specifically, because both my partner and I work from home, and we pace when we’re having a hard time focusing. The spell draws in the energy from our pacing and the frustration we’re putting out to fuel itself. It then transforms and releases the energy as calm, focus, and productivity. - I suggest a green or brown bowl because this spell is meant to work for our jobs. Green for success, brown for grounding. Personally, my bowl has both colors. - When instructing the spell, you can speak to the bowl, write a petition, do an incantation, or whatever else you like. This is the most personal part of the spell, and it’s what makes the thing Go. It’s up to you to decide how it’s going to work.

Final Thoughts

I would hesitate to call ambient spells “low energy” spellwork. While they can be low-energy-friendly in the long run, and they can be extremely simple to set up (such as the one I described above), they aren’t always. Ambient spells do require an up-front energy cost. Even so, I find them very rewarding and useful.

Folks who visit my home often comment that it’s an inviting, friendly, good-natured space where they can leave their worries and anxieties behind. That’s on purpose. I’ve got ambient spells in place that eat up anxiety and spit out positivity. I’ve got ones that repel hexes and are charged by sunlight. All of these spells are long-lasting and well worth the effort it took to create them.

I hope this little guide is useful to you! If you’ve got questions, feel free to send me an ask. I’m happy to ramble about ambient spells or other types of magic as much as you’d like.

And if you did enjoy this post, consider dropping a couple dollars in my tip jar! Supporters of all types (tips, commissions, shop purchases, and memberships) get early access to posts like this, sometimes up to two weeks early, and every bit helps me keep the lights on.

[prettieinpink]

ESTABLISHING YOUR ROUTINE

A routine is essential for us to become the best versions of ourselves, but for us to fully commit to a routine, it has to be aligned with our needs and values.

hehe trying out a different aesthetic 😚😚

FIGURE OUT WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE DAILY. This isn’t what your to-do list currently looks like, but rather how you want your to-list to look like. If you can’t think of anything right now, carry a small notebook or open your notes app during the day to take notes of anything you may want to add to your routine.

BREAK THOSE TASKS INTO SMALLER ONES. This helps us to see more clearly in our routine and helps to make our tasks or goals easier to achieve. E.g. Avoid saying ‘study time’ but say flashcards and re-reading notes.

SET GOALS. This can be daily, weekly, monthly and so on. Just have those little habits in your routines that help you advance to reach your goals. This also helps with our motivation throughout the day.

STRUCTURE YOUR DAY EFFICENTLY. If you have a day where there are no urgent or important tasks to be done, use it to take notes on how you feel throughout. Document the times when you feel the most productive, energised, social and tired. Using this information, divide your tasks into the times that suit each other.

ALLOW FOR FREE TIME BLOCKS IN YOUR DAY. One, for just allowing some time for your brain and body to just chill. Two, just so if anything comes up, you have a free window of time to do it.

TEST YOUR ROUTINE AND MAKE ADJUSTMENTS. Throughout the day, ask yourself; ‘how does my routine make me feel?’ and ‘What tasks do I dread, and what do I look the most forward to?’ If need to be, make any changes.

BE CONSISTENT. This is the only way for a routine to be solid in your life, to do them at the same time every day. This tip sounds mundane, but you can always change it up a little. E.g. Listen to different podcasts or audiobooks every time you go out for your walks.

PREPARE FOR YOUR ROUTINE. Allow your environment to encourage anything you want to add to your routine, for example, if you want to do yoga in the morning, leave your yoga mat in front of your bed where you can see it.

INCLUDE BREAKS, FOOD AND EXERCISE. Resting, eating well and moderate exercise help us to be more productive in the day, and to complete our tasks to higher standards.

KEEP TRACK OF YOUR PROGRESS. See which habits you’re more inclined to do, and which ones you usually avoid. Sometimes, some habits just aren’t meant for us, and that’s okay.

FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR NOT COMMITTING. It’s okay, you’re going to have days when your routine is the least ideal. Don’t beat yourself up for it, instead try to at least accomplish one task that’s a part of your routine.

MAKE IT ENJOYABLE. Your routine isn’t something to punish you, but rather something that helps you to keep an orderly life. It should be something that you’re at least willing to do.

Some ways to make it fun: Listen to music while you do tasks, romanticise your routine as much as possible, include rewards for anything productive and try to involve your loved ones.

[hana-no-seiiki]

Would you do a second part of Damián x Cat!villain!reader? Or maybe something with a different plot, but I need it too much 😵‍💫

I don’t usually entertain part 2 asks but cause it’s you my adorkable Lucas, I shall. I’m adding the other boys and some wild cards for good measure.

tw/cw: yandere, dick’s part gives me major second hand embarrassment but maybe that’s a me issue, (implied) jason has seggs with your unconscious body (but it’s consensual). damian is aged up but still younger than reader hence the condescending way of speech the latter has for him.

ROOFTOP TALKS W/ THE BOYS

☁️ . . . w/ Dickie Boi

When you were dating it was a lot of you flirting and him asking you to be a bit more professional. And then you promptly reminding him that your profession is being a thief.

And that you were taking that profession seriously by stealing his heart.

Kisses in the rain were pretty much your guys’s thing. As much as your cat heart hated being wet.

When he became Nightwing and after Jason’s death, you guys didn’t break up immediately. Just fizzled out. Long talks about everything and anything became short greetings and small talk until you two officially ended it.

Nowadays Dick tries his hardest to get your attention, he shows off a lot. Ups the romanticness of it all. Brings you all around the city for dates before you two chill on your favorite spot.

Dick felt great. He just spent an entire night out on a date with his first love, some might argue that you’re his only true one too. You two haven’t been able to hang out due to the chaos of life and Jason. But finally he was able to have you for himself for once. No Tim to watch you two through the cameras (he made sure all of those were unavailable), no Damian to stalk you two within the shadows (it took a while, but he managed to convince the big ol’ bat to keep the youngest occupied), and no vigilante business he had to deal with.

There was just one last thing. A kiss. (He wanted sex, to feel you around him again. But considering you two just got back into the swing of things he was willing to wait)

He closed his eyes, and leaned forward.

Only to be met with air.

And then the ground.

“Uhm. Did you just — I mean I know I look cute tonight and all — but did you just try to kiss me, Grayson?” You had only managed to narrowly dodge the action. A little amused by the way he’s currently making out with the floor, but mostly confused and somewhat terrified.

Dick groaned, of all the things to put him on the ground this week. “I thought - I thought we were…”

You looked at him, blinked a few times, and managed to utter out, “Dude.”

☁️ . . . w/ Hubby Toddy

Imma be honest with you. You two bone 80-90% of the times you guys meet.

The only reason that it’s not 100% is because of the danger you two are in for that 10-20%

The vigilante/villain lifestyle and environment isn’t ideal for boning 24/7 y’know.

The reason why you guys fuck so often is cause Cat Villain! Reader being the menace they are only has to remind Jason that he died a virgin for you two to get down to business.

The Batboys are obsessed with proving themselves/ a point in general after all. So you often play them like a fiddle with just a few words.

Aside from that, a lot of your rooftop talks are you being snarky towards each other. Jason asking you to stop risking your life with heists and you vice versa with his vendetta.

Which usually leads to anger fucking but I digress.

You two often snack on the greasiest, unhealthy food while together.

Sometimes you spend hours talking about what he missed while he was gone. Of course he already knows everything. He kept tabs on you and whatnot. But hearing you speak gives him a sense of calm like no other.

Cuddling ftw. Jason adores enveloping you.

He likes doing stuff that proves that you exist?? Like that you’re next to him. That both of you are alive in that moment.

“‘M sleepy.” Your eyelids were beyond heavy at that point. Jason wanted you to be up for every single round, and it seemed like his stamina was endless.

Usually you’d pass out and he’d just continue getting off using you but that night he gave you a challenge. Something about wanting to see the way your pretty eyes as he ruined your insides.

“Too much action for you tonight, kit?”

“Mhm.”

“Go to sleep. I’ll watch over you.” He shifted your body in a more secure position, wrapping his large arms around your form.

“Promise me you won’t disappear?”

“I’m here always.” He let out a deep breath.

As soon as he made sure you were out cold he continued,

“Not even death will keep me away from you, baby.”

☁️ . . . w/ Timsies Whimsies

Most of your hang outs are spent indoors

Otherwise it’d be you hovering over his shoulders as he works on his projects.

Most of your rooftop times with Tim are spent in silence, playing video games, or board games.

Sometimes you two would spend hours playing and voicing cheesy dating sims.

But sometimes you use the time to get him to sleep.

You two are very much opposites when it comes to sleep times. Like if we go full on cat mode here, you prolly sleep off like 70% of your life.

I really shouldn’t be writing this while I’m sleepy as hell shouldn’t I?

Tim had never slept so well in his entire life.

All he remembered before being lulled into dreamland was you singing, patting him on the head, and some laughter before everything went dark.

But now he wishes he never slept at all.

“Is this . . . an edit of us a kids—“

Tim slammed his laptop shut so hard he’s pretty sure he’d broken it.

You looked at him incredulously. How long had you been snooping through his stuff? How did you even manage to unlock it? He made sure it was inaccessible even to Bruce.

“I . . . I read this one fanfic . . . that we met as kids and grew up together.” He confessed.

Yes, Tim gets brainrots over [Cat Villain Name] x Reader / Red Robin fanfics. Could you blame him?

“Honestly that’s pretty cute and wholesome. The other things you have there on the other hand . . . “

“I’ll pay for all of your boba expenses for a year if you forget about this.”

“A decade and I’ll never look through your shit again.”

“Deal.”

☁️ . . . w/ Damie Baby

Up until recently your rooftop meetings have been an even more snarky version of Jason’s with less hatefucking more … hating.

While Dick is more extravagant with how he shows off. Damian is more on the ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about I’m just this awesome’ side of the spectrum.

It took him a while to finally figure out that you being a menace is more of a facade if anything

And boy did it make him get a romantic boner when he found out

Like it went from you teasing him to hell and back to him turning the tables

“Wow, ain’t it past your bedtime, Damie?”

“Not my fault I can’t get a wink of sleep without you beside me.”

“. . .Ah.”

Aside from that you like roping him into playing games and basically all the things he missed out on being trained to be as an assassin.

He in turn does more traditional courting methods on you. Like buying you flowers, having slow dances.

Sometimes you do each other’s henna.

(He definitely is smug about it when other members of the batfam ask)

He often scolds you about reading so much late into the night…and insists he reads everything for you while you sit prettily on his lap

His favorite activity is running his hands through your hair as you lay your head on his lap while he dictates a book out loud. Usually it’s non fiction so that A) you’d sleep faster, and B) he gets his readings for uni in.

☁️ . . . w/ Bruce ig

“Hey, loser.” You purred, appearing from the underneath Batman’s cape.

Without a beat, he replied, “[Cat Villain Name].” and nothing else. He does not move. Doesn’t even make an attempt to seem affected by your antics.

“Awe, I missed you too!” You hugged him tightly and gave a pat for measure.

You were about to let when you felt a weight atop your head.

He was… giving you a headpat? Albeit awkwardly.“Who are you and what did you do to—“

“Treat them well.”

And he disappears.

Hey, wasn’t that your move?

In anycase,

It’s about time that Bruce learnt,

if you can’t beat em, join em.

[dropsnectar]

Pollen and Potions: Bee-men x afab!reader

PART THREE

This is a longer part than the rest, but its all necessary dialogue so it should be fine. More fluffy and romance than smut, BUT!! Their will be smut in the next section! I know I said this will only be 4 parts, but it may actually be more like 5 or 6. Anyway, hope you like!

So. You were starting to learn that using large batches of magic back to back weren't ideal for a young witch's health. It seemed like you might have overdone it, as when you woke you found you had been asleep for TWO WHOLE DAYS. So. If you were going to do magic, it looked like you were going to have to pace yourself, or perhaps use LESS magic.

You put yourself to learning more about witchcraft. The thing was, your grandmother's books didn't really go into the basics, and as witches were so rare, information was hard to find. Of course, the internet was full of supposed witch spells, or frameworks, but it was like throwing dice. Some spells didn't work. Some spells took up WAY too much energy. Some were just… fine? But not what you needed. 

Next you checked out forum sites. Maybe you could find a community through that way? But all you found were psychics and tarot readers. Nice people, but not what you needed.

Whelp. Maybe you needed to look at the issue differently. The environment used to be a beautiful, thriving area. What had changed between now and then? In order to understand a magic ecosystem, you had to understand ecosystems. So, for the rest of the week you busied yourself with ecology study. It was turning out that this project you had adopted on a whim would need a lot more time and breadth of knowledge then you originally thought.

***

When you met with Rena, under Lyith’s friendly gaze, you found that the magic you had cast hadn't waned at all. The flowers had grown beautifully and continued to give magic nectar that created the best honey. Rena was beside herself. “The elders of the hive say they haven't had honey of this quality since they were children! You are really onto something here, little one.”

Rena had now gotten in the habit of calling you little one. Sure, as a Bee-man she was slightly taller than you, but not by much. Also the constant fluttering and floating didn't help. 

“You've been given permission to test your magic on our other gardens as well. As long as we are careful and continue with caution!” Rena babbled. You gave her a small smile and felt Lyiths arm on your shoulder. He laid his head on your other shoulder, leaning his fuzzy head against yours. 

“Whats wrong?”

You wiggled a little. “I'm just having a hard time brainstorming how to do this. I know I said I'd help you guys, but I might not be able to use as much magic as last time. To be honest, I don't really know much about my mana and my limits…” you explained your situation. Expecting there to be disappointment, you were surprised to find none.

“I can’t help but think… How long will this last? One spell isn’t going to cut it for that long. I want to create something that will last for you guys, but that might take a while… and doing just this took all the mana I had. I want to do better. But I don’t want to hurt myself either, especially when I don’t know how this could affect my health in the long run…” The bee-men seemed to be catching on.

“Of course, little one. We wouldn't want you to harm yourself.”

 Lyith also popped up, his voice almost in your ear.

“Us Bee-men also have something like mana. Our magic is not never ending. We would have fixed this situation ourselves if it was.”

Rena reached forward and grabbed your hand, giving it a reassuring pat. “We don't have to do anything today. We can commence whenever you'd like. Our flowers have spread out beautifully and even this is enough.”

You frowned.

“I may have to do this every spring. Or even redo it in the summer…”

“You don’t owe us anything. You are trying your best to do us a kindness. And our hive knows and sees that. We are beyond grateful to you… Its… We’ve needed…We are truly grateful.” His expression fell at the mention of his hive, his antennas drooping. Rena moved forward and held Lyith, a sad expression on her own face.

There was a pause in conversation that grew somewhat awkward.

How do I make this better? You tried to brainstorm, but only one thing came to mind. 

You went over and gave the both of them a big bear hug. It was a tense one, but you tried to adjust your emotions, instead concentrating on how fond you had grown of the two. You tried to shout it as loud as you could through your brain at them.

This seemed to break the spell, as Rena started to laugh. Lyith looked at you affectionately. 

“I know we haven't known each other long, but I just want to say, you can count on me. If you ever need to talk about anything let me know. I'll listen.”

Rena and Lyith hummed in response, returning your group hug with a long squeeze.

Long hugs. The favorite actions of a Bee-men.

After some quiet reassurances, the two of you decided to idle while the two foraged on the edge of the Wood. You walked with them and asked them as many questions you could think of. How old were they? Were they able to do other magics? You had thought Bee-men to be isolated. How come they knew so much about human culture?

Lyith was the one who answered you most of the time. It seemed that bee-man typically lived double the life of a human, with Rena and Lyith being about 45, and 51, Lyith being the oldest. They were in the same season of life as you though!

Bee-man could do some other magics(they didn't go much into what), but they specialized in making their magical honey, which fortified the health and wellbeing of a Bee-men. 

They didn’t say it outright but it seemed like the dip in magic had affected the nutrition of their food source. They kept their own bees and shared honey, but it still wasn't enough, so they had ventured out into human society to buy fruit when it was necessary. They also did trade with neighboring beast-men, the Wolfmen being happy to share their fruit for their Bee’s wax waste. I 

“What exactly do you guys do for fun though?” You asked, trying to lighten the mood.

Lyith smiled. “Late night flying is fun.”

Rena snorted. “You mean late night spying. Lyith has a habit of looking through people's windows.”

Lyith wrinkled his nose at Rena. “If they did not want to be seen they would have drawn the curtains. It's not strange, I am just curious about human life is all.”

Rena reached forward and pinched Lyiths nose. “Poor thing. So bored he must make mischief.”

You looked at Lyith with surprise. His big eyes grew in concern and he pouted at you.

“You are not going to tease me too are you? I promise, I never see anything scandalous. I'm a good little bee.” He fluttered his eyes at you.

You giggled and pushed his shoulder. 

“As long as you're not spying on me I guess it's harmless.”

Lyiths expression shifted to one of his dopey smiles. It always surprised you how innocent he could look despite his size. Was it maybe…

“So… I may have read that you guys are telepathic right?” 

Renas face changed into a smirk. 

“Yes, and?”

“ Well, have you guys ever… used your powers on me?” 

Rena snorted. Lyith gave you an unreadable expression. “We Bee-man are very particular about sharing our heads outside of our hives. But no. We haven't done anything to you if that's what you meant…”

Oh. He was pouting now.

“No! Thats not what I meant! I just… i feel so comfortable around you guys it's almost supernatural. I just. Idk. Wanted to know. Please I didn't mean anything by it!”

Lyith wrinkled his nose at you and Rena continued to seem amused. You felt helpless and got a bit upset with yourself. You did your best to calm yourself down but you were upset. You had so few friends here and you were afraid you blew it. A wave of loneliness swept through you.

Lyith was watching you the whole time, before sighing. “All will be forgiven if you give us some of those fruit tarts you made yesterday.”

You looked at him, shocked. 

“I thought you said you didn't spy on me!”

“I wasn't spying, I just happened to be foraging by the window, and smelled something amazing. It was all incidental.”

“There's sugar in the crust. Won’t your tummy get upset?”

He just smiled. Rena laughed. “He named his price. For offending us, we must get fruit tarts.”

Finally feeling better, the three of you walked(they let you walk!!!) Back to your home. You served them up your tarts, when finally the questions started coming about you. Why did you move here? Do you have any siblings? What were you like as a child?

This went on until dinner time, at which point you decided to shoo your new friends away. “ I'll be back to do the flowers tomorrow. We… we will see what I can do.” You admitted. The two of them smiled at you, hugging you tight for a good three minutes. They always lingered, nuzzling your face and hair, as if they were getting a whiff of you. You could smell their own perfume and tried not to think too much. Their goodbyes always felt so intimate. 

 Rena decided to pepper your face in kisses before they left. Lyith just rolled his eyes at her. When they drew apart you felt empty, like some piece of you was going with them.

***

As always, Lyith picked you up that morning. This time, you made sure to bring a scarf and hat, alongside emergency snacks in your bag. Where he was taking you next was a little longer of a trip, a whole ten minutes to the usual six. That was a long time when you were hurtling through the air.

You were surprised to drop into a small crowd. There were ten Bee-men present besides Rena, who seemed to be communicating silently with them. The air was full of bee noises; humming, purring, the fluttering of wings. The air smelled amazingly fresh, floral and syrupy. It was an odd smell, but it seemed to put you at ease somehow. And maybe a bit peckish.

A Beeman a whole foot and a half taller then Rena fluttered towards you. They bowed, of which you awkwardly returned before they reached forward and took your hand gently. Lyith started,

“This is Elder Bisou. He is the eldest of our hive. He is showing you respect.”

Elder Bisou smiled at you. “Little Witch, I welcome you to our territory. My human is a bit… unused. Please receive our thanks for your efforts.” He took your hand and leaned down so that it met his temple. You could feel the rush of his magic, like your mind was a fish bowl and he was putting a gentle hand on the glass. You could feel his warmth, his deep gratitude through it. 

Your back straightened and you felt water prick your eyelids. You gave him a slow nod, becoming acutely aware just how serious this whole situation actually was. Rena and Lyith had been dancing around it, but the Bee-men must be slowly starving to death. That was the only explanation for the depths of what you had felt.

“I will do my best.” Was all you could reply. 

Lyith, acting as your translator, took you to each Bee-men he could and introduced you. It seemed that some of the elders, as well as some of those who had free time had come to watch the “little witch” work. Most took your hand gently, and sent you a ghost of what their emotions were. There was a sort of film around the emotions, a barrier of sorts. Whether this was on purpose so you wouldn’t be overwhelmed, or just how their telepathy worked, you couldn't tell. 

You did your best to not let your nerves get to you as you dissected the sections of the field where you would be doing your experiments. You didn’t know how these particular flowers would take to your spell, so it was still best to be cautious. The bee-men looked on with interest.

You did your chants in a loud booming fashion, and channeled in as elegant a fashion as you could. Like always, the magic came, and the spell did its work. These flowers were different, like rainbow colored lavender. Rather than letting the magic gush through you, you let it gently trickle out, pacing yourself. When the deeds were done, you still felt sore, and you still held a headache in your temple, but there was no nausea, so growth! 

Once you were done with your work, there was a large excited buzzing throughout the forest. There was clapping, dancing, stomping of feet, pumping of many hands, whoops from Rena and Lyith. One Bee, a worker named Aidenn held a small wooden instrument in his hands and started to play. This triggered a chorus from the Bee-men. There was a harmonizing among the crowd and they started to circle each other, laughing and dancing. A circle of flying, spinning Bee-men formed.

Rena grabbed you by the waist and hoisted you onto her shoulder before joining in the circle of the dance. You giggled as you spun, feeling the giddiness in the air like it was laughing gas. That same pressure filled your mind and a part of your heart started to soar. It was intimate, but not stifling and you loved feeling so close to everyone.

You lifted your hands and, feeling in the spirit, decided to hum along. At some point Rena had taken you in her arms and held you close as they continued to fly in a circle, spinning and perrying, and switching. It was similar to square dancing, where there was a pattern to it. 

At one point, the tune changed and Lyith swooped down from above and grabbed you out of Rena’s arms. She snorted at him but let it happen, joining hands with another passing Bee-men. When Lyith gathered you in his arms, he cradled you as close as possible, surprising you. One hand was gripping firmly around your waist and the other crushing you to him. He landed on the ground, and the rest of the bee-men followed, causing something of a ballroom dance. 

“You did wonderfully today.” He breathed in your ear, causing them to redden. You pulled yourself back a bit to see his face and he was looking at you with such pride and affection it felt like a weight crushing your chest. You moved your hands from his shoulders to reach his own hands. You were shaky, but you wanted to return his feelings somehow. His palms were soft.

This caused him to laugh, a purring sort of trill coming from his throat. You couldn’t help a silly grin form on your face.

“I’m glad you came to my garden.” Was all you could think to say.

He looked at you, with those big black eyes, then reached forward and kissed you on the lips. It was only a peck, but you could feel his joy through it. 

Something complex within you, a mix of happiness, excitement, hope, all of your feelings rose up into your throat. Unable to find the words to express yourself, you took all of those big heavy emotions, wrapped them all up together and kissed him back, right there, in the middle of your makeshift dance floor.

When you pulled away Lyith looked shocked, his bottom lip hanging open. Adorable as usual. 

Rena hollered from the otherside of the gathering, sending out a big whoop. There was laughter, buzzing and an echoing whoop from some of the younger bee-men. Elder Bisou made some clicking sounds, but the sides of his mouth were slightly upturned.

It occurred to you then that you were in the middle of a group of very telepathic monster people. Your cheeks grew hot in embarrassment and you pulled away from Lyith a bit. Your shoes suddenly became very interesting. 

Lyith eventually turned your chin back up to face him. He held a small peaceful smile, before bumping his forehead to yours. He didn’t share his emotions but the affection was still there.

After you grew too tired to dance, you took a seat under a tree, munching on a granola bar. Another one of the Bee-men, a younger drone named Haven, made his way to sit next to you.

“I don’t know if it was mentioned, but honey production has picked up enormously since you agreed to help us. I haven’t felt this great in… well ever! Thank you little witch!”

“I’m not little, but thank you for saying so.” You were starting to get a bit lightheaded now, and not from the dancing. It was possible that some of the symptoms of mana sickness were surfacing a little late.

“You are strong! That is true! Even elder Bisou has said he hasn’t met a human or beastman with mana like yours!” Haven turned his voice down to a whisper, as if he was sharing a secret, “Your magic smells so much like flowers, really, its a huge blessing! In fact, I would eat you up if I could!” He laughed as if he had made a joke. He sighed and looked up dreamily at the sky. “Alas, I am saving myself for when we find our queen.” He wrapped his arms around himself, as if to fend off imaginary suitors.

You wrinkled your nose. “Queen? You don’t have a queen? Isn’t that super bad for bees, I mean bee-men?” 

Heaven tilted his head at you, reminding you of Lyith. 

“Of course. That's why we are all so small and weak.” You stared at him in shock. He put up his hands. “We are doing well though! It's been 20 years since our queen died but we are still here! Oh! There is a hive up north! Any day now, one of their queens' daughters might descend and bless us! Or.. Or we--”

“Little One! You seem like you're getting sick!” Rena Descended from above and put a hand to your forehead.

“You are far too warm! Haven, mind if I take her out of your wings?”

Heaven looked up at Rena, his face a mask of confusion. He eventually gave in though and stood up.

“I should check on Elder Bisou! He might need something!” His voice was flat, obviously fake, but he ran away- flew away with gusto.

Rena took your face into her hands, tilting your head back and forth. Your lightheadedness turned full on dizzy. Rena’s face screwed up in an annoyed expression.

“You overdid it. And after that whole speech about not knowing your limits too..” She gently put a hand on your back and picked you up princess style. You would have been embarrassed, if your brain was functioning properly. Instead your gaze fixed on Rena’s beautiful iridescent wings. The lights were so lovely and they helped ground you. Honestly, everything about Rena was lovely. Well, maybe lovely wasn’t the right word. She was rough around the edges. A tease and a know it all. But she doted on you so, it made you feel a bit overwhelmed. Your gaze shifted from her wings to her lovely nose, pretty sharp for a bee-men. 

Rena started conversing with Lyith about you, pointing her jaw and humming. Huh. Rena was actually incredibly attractive. You had known that before. Maybe it was something about how dizzy everything was. The last time you had felt this way she had been kissing you, her textured tongue pushing nectar down your thoat-

“Little One”

Your mind immediately focused. She was using a demanding tone. 

“Lyith will take you home. Next time, we will only do one spell at a time.” She leaned forward and placed her cool lips to the side of your mouth. Making you blush. Well your face was already heated so you would have blushed. “I will see you again soon. Rest.” And she was off.

You were in Lyith’s arms again. A place you were starting to get comfortable in. He stared at you for a moment, his lips pursed, then sighed loudly. He held your gaze for a moment.

“I do not like this habit you are forming. You will not get sick again, understand?” 

You nodded at him, mind hazy. Sleepy. You were sleepy. 

You didn’t register the fly home, only that the coolness felt nice. You were carried from the porch, into the living room, up the stairs, and laid on your bed. You were covered in warm, delicious blankets. 

You never saw Lyith leave before you passed out. Probably because he tucked himself in right beside you, the cool air washing over both of you from the open bedroom window.

Part Four

[ihaveverything]

Limitless manifesting for beginners

ʚ part I - the basic concepts

part II - states, techniques, change

part III - mental diet, sats

part IV - daily life, time

part V - resistance, faith, the ''real'' world

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ

Many people who first get started on their manifesting journey will come across a variety of sources, explanations, tutorials, techniques, and methods. When faced with all these different options and an abundance of content to apply, it can be quite overwhelming to know exactly what to do. How many times do I affirm a day? What scene should I use for my visualization? What are SATS and how do I do it perfectly? How do I get rid of my wavering? Do I need to fix my self-concept? Why is my 3d not changing? These are all questions that have been floating around the internet, and we all know the short answer is to persist, but people might wonder what’s so effortless in turning a blind eye to the harshest circumstances and putting faith into something you don’t have concrete proof of yet.

4D vs 3D

With the 4D referring to your inner world, your imagination & mind, and the 3D being the familiar physical construct of the reality you know, it’s hard to understand navigating daily life while “living in your head.” One of the biggest fears or doubts people have during their first stage of learning the Law is not knowing how to handle the 3D. A common misunderstanding is that you have to be delusional about your surroundings and completely ignore it. This is extremely difficult to achieve because our logical minds will always be aware of the 3D environment we live in. Being delusional when manifesting an SP might be trying to convince yourself your phone is filled with texts from them when that notification isn’t there. It could also be looking at a completely broke bank account and trying to convince yourself that you’re rich. Another thing about being delusional is that it implies you are avoiding the 3D or unable to acknowledge it since you fear seeing the circumstances that do not align with your desire, either because you believe they will hinder your manifestation, or it pulls you away from your ideal 4D. To avoid or to fear something is often confirmation of a belief you hold. When you view the 3D as a problem or something you cannot face, it means you haven’t been able to find full conviction in knowing you already are the person who has your desire even though you can’t see it yet.

“If you judge after appearances, you will continue to be enslaved by the evidence of your senses.” ― Neville Goddard, Your Faith is Your Fortune.

Manifesting is not about being delusional in an attempt to hide from what you see. It is to see the 3D for what it truly is, merely a reflection of your past states of consciousness, therefore freeing yourself and making new internal selections for the life you wish to experience. It is where you have been dwelling long enough for it to reflect into your individual reality, since it confirms what you assume to be true for your life, but it is not the objective truth as you perceive it to be. Once you change your perception of yourself and completely discard the old beliefs that tie you to the past and present 3D, your whole world will change.

Creation is finished

Another trap people might fall into is constantly worrying about whether their old story is too complicated or difficult to fathom being able to change it. The truth is, it does not matter when your SP blocked you, how long you guys haven’t seen each other, how you’re one week away from being homeless, or if your dream life seems light years away. This is because of one simple concept. Creation is finished. Everything you could possibly desire within reason of our human biology and experience is already promised to us in a different probable reality. There are infinite versions of ourselves and others, and your 3D will move mountains if that is necessary to bring about your desire, but under the condition that you have truly changed yourself first. Do not expect things to change if you have not changed yet.

“Because creation is finished, what you desire already exists. It is excluded from view because you can see only the contents of your own consciousness. It is the function of an assumption to call back the excluded view and restore full vision. It is not the world but your assumptions that change. An assumption brings the invisible into sight. It is nothing more nor less than seeing with the eye of God, i.e.,” ― Neville Goddard, The Power of Awareness

Letting go vs persistence

Let go of the past, lack, desperation, and need. Persist in making the decision that you have your desire, regardless of it being unseen right now. To be honest, no matter how sympathetic people are towards your story, the anger, frustration, heartbreak, and guilt you feel is only reinforcing how you see yourself and your reality. Holding negative feelings towards someone for what they’ve done to you is understandable from the 3D perspective, but it does not benefit anyone if you are going to manifest a behavior change from them. If you are still blaming an SP for blocking you, does that sound like someone who feels as though they are already in a beautiful loving relationship with them?

“Do not waste one moment in regret, for to think feelingly of the mistakes of the past is to reinfect yourself. ‘Let the dead bury the dead’. Turn from appearances and assume the feeling that would be yours were you already the one you wish to be.” ― Neville Goddard, Feeling is the Secret

Going back to the questions mentioned in the first paragraph, it’s important to know that the word “change” is referring to a change in your beliefs and dominant state of awareness. It does not mean an effort based lifestyle change where you feel pressured to affirm or visualize in an unnatural way against your own will. Changing your state is as simple as making a decision each time you think of your desire throughout the day. You are free to change how you think and feel at any moment. It is not the event itself that holds meaning, but your reaction that implies acceptance.

“Man, who is free in his choice, acts from conceptions which he freely, though not always wisely, chooses. All conceivable states are awaiting our choice and occupancy, but no amount of rationalizing will itself yield us the state of consciousness which is the only thing worth seeking.” ― Neville Goddard, Awakened Imagination

It does not matter how many times you affirm or which words you say. You can affirm once a day or 10k a day (please don’t do that though), but if you haven’t changed your beliefs at all, then nothing will happen. Quality over quantity for anything you do. Mental dieting and keeping yourself in check for what thoughts and beliefs you are entertaining has proven to be easier and faster for many people.

source tba

[wings-of-fire-confessions]

How Fatespeaker is like (at least, from my point of view) in canon:

A teenager that was forced to live within an unstable (and abusive) environment with dragons who hate her existence. An environment where she constantly moving from place to place, in order to not be discovered. With “found” siblings and/or “friends” who hate her to the point that they outwardly stated that they would want her to die right in front of her.

A teenager who has visions that are probably mostly fake and/or made up by Fatespeaker herself, probably as a coping mechanism for the abusive environment she lived. As a way to cling onto hope and/or happiness that positive things she wants will occur, and possibly as a way to warn herself of things that she fears will occur. A dragon who put herself in denial of her ‘friends’ hating her as a way to cope with the life she lives in as well.

A teenager who quickly gotten a crush on and became clingy and possibly a bit obsessive of Starflight, due to him being the only NightWing Fatespeaker met who’s around her age, and that he’s the only dragon around her age she meet who isn’t outwardly awful to her and hates her existence.

A teenager who idealized her tribe from what she heard about them, and believed that they are an awesome tribe that have a wonderful home and that she’ll possibly meet her parents there. But found out that her tribe lives in a place that’s awful and is negatively affecting their physical and mental health, and that her tribe is committing awful things, like torturing and experimenting on the RainWings.

A teenager who also saw the dragons who - despite their outward hatred of her, Fatespeaker still cares for and are the dragons she was raised with for the majority of her life - become traumatized and/or harmed by the choices and commands of Morrowseer. With Squid being forced to fly himself far to home within a dangerous environment that could’ve caused his death, from seeing Flame unintentionally be harmed by Viper’s tail barb, and literally seeing Viper being BURNED ALIVE in literal LAVA right in front of her.

But despite ALL of this, and the awful $h!t and trauma that Fatespeaker went through, she’s STILL a kind, empathetic, and faithful dragon who strives to do what’s right, and isn’t afraid of pointing out other dragon’s (Morrowseer’s) wrongs.

How (some parts of) the WoF fandom view Fatespeaker:

A completely annoying and obnoxious delusional girl who’s the “dollar-store” version and/or replacement of Sunny (a.k.a. being a “cheap” love interest of Starflight).

(Btw, no dislike and/or hatred towards people who dislike and/or hatred towards Fatespeaker, I understand why some people may not like her from the way she talks and behaves towards others.

❗️However, I’ll admit that I honestly feel like a good proportion of the WoF fandom does mistreat Fatespeaker and/or does her dirty.❗️

(And that possibly a good proportion or a part of why Fatespeaker acts so ‘annoying’ and/or ‘obnoxious’ is possibly due to the trauma that she experienced and/or the way that she was raised throughout her life.)

So because of this, I decided to make this confession and/or character analysis of Fatespeaker here.)

Thank you for reading this confession about Fatespeaker, and I hope that you have a good day and/or night today :).

.

[viviennevermillion]

ꜱᴛᴀʀᴛ ᴏꜰ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ɢᴏᴏᴅ

❝ you see my heart i wear it on my sleeve, 'cause i just can't hide it anymore. i know that it's gonna take some time; i've got to admit that the thought has crossed my mind: this might end up like it should ❞ — daughtry

ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴꜱ: character x gn!reader, ideal dates

ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ: alhaitham, baizhu, capitano, cyno, diluc, dottore, kaveh, pantalone, tighnari, wanderer

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: dottore's ideal date includes observing his creepy mad scientist experiments. he's sweet to reader but very much not a good person in this and neither are you

ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ: guess who is back? thought hitting 4.5k followers might be a good time to break my 3 month genshin hiatus and comeback with a 10 character headcanon post. comments and reblogs are appreciated! you're also always welcome to shoot me an ask about my works! 💙

ᴅɴɪ: ᴅᴀʀᴋ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴄᴏɴꜱᴜᴍᴇʀꜱ, ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ᴇɴᴛʜᴜꜱɪᴀꜱᴛꜱ, ʙʟᴏɢꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜ ɴꜱꜰᴡ ᴜꜱᴇʀɴᴀᴍᴇꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘꜰᴘ

Alhaitham isn’t really the type to go out of his way to take you on dates if there isn’t a special occasion. Before the two of you got together, he would often ask you whether you’d like to go to the tavern with him after he finished up work or join him in the library. Once in a while you’d take a walk together and sometimes after you spent time, Alhaitham would invite you over to dinner at his house, apologising for his roommate in advance even though you found Kaveh to be not even half as unpleasant as Alhaitham thought he was.

“Dates” with Alhaitham always retain this character of a loose and relaxed hangout with a good friend, even throughout your relationship. Of course, Alhaitham will pay attention to your needs and make sure you don’t doubt his love for you, but he doesn’t really care for the conventional idea of a date. He mostly wants to spend time with you.

For Alhaitham the most important part of your dates are the conversations. He wouldn’t have fallen for you if he doesn’t love to have long, in-depth conversations with you about whatever comes to mind. It doesn’t matter if you’re as well-versed in a subject as he is with language; as long as you’re able to hold your own in a discussion with him, he’ll have a good time. If you manage to answer something clever and humorous to a question he asks you, you might get a chuckle out of him. It’s how you found out that Alhaitham actually has a very warm laugh that makes you feel content in his presence.

Being with Alhaitham means that sometimes you forget the fact that you’re even on a date. You’re so immersed in the conversation with him, his hand placed on top of yours as he takes another sip of his coffee, that the environment around you just fades away; whether you’re out in the forests or having a meal at the tavern.

Just make sure to not take Alhaitham to places that are too loud or too crowded. He prefers a quiet and calm atmosphere where he can focus on you and his thoughts. After all, he came here for some quality time with the person he loves rather than listening to a drunk scholar’s misadventures at the table next to him. He brings his noise-cancelling headphones along with him, but he still makes sure to get the two of you a quiet place away from the busy chatter of the townfolk.

Alhaitham loves to take you to Akademiya exhibitions or ruins in the desert. He’s well-aware that sitting over a book for hours and researching a topic may not be everybody’s cup of tea, so he likes going out with you to places where you can actually see the things he studies while he explains them to you. He’ll show you ancient scriptures and patiently tells you what they mean and why they were written.

Those days typically end with the two of you enjoying a nice meal that Alhaitham cooked at home and you resting your head in his lap; tired from all the walking and exploring, as your significant other picks up one of his books to read. You close your eyes and he places one hand on your back and lets you rest close to him. If you have any questions about the book he’s reading or need anything, don’t hesitate to ask him. He’ll answer if it’s you.  

Baizhu would love to spend his day exploring Liyue with you, taking you to all the beautiful places you haven’t seen yet. But unfortunately, due to his condition, this isn’t always possible. He apologizes for this way more than he should. You and Changsheng tend to scold him for this. You’d cup his face in your hands and press a kiss to his lips. “As long as I’m with you, I’m having the time of my life”, you reassure him with a gentle voice and litter his face with soft kisses to drive the point home. With every kiss, Baizhu grows more flustered but his smile becomes wider. “Very well then”, he coughs and pulls you into a hug, “if you say so, I’ll hold you to it.”

Baizhu likes to go on spa dates with you. He takes you to a thermal bath in Liyue Harbor. You have to remind him that he already explained the health benefits of spa treatment to you multiple times, or he’ll do it again. Doctor’s habits. You chuckle at how he puts a hand on his neck and stumbles over his words when you two finish his sentence in sync; him having completely forgotten how familiar you already are with his medical rambles.

You two relax in the brine bath as slow music plays along with quiet white noise. Baizhu leans back against the wall of the pool and lets out a relaxed sigh.

Changsheng is resting on a miniature beach chair you insisted to bring along because you “thought it was cute”. 

You twirl a strand of Baizhu’s long hair around your finger. “You’re so beautiful with your hair down”, you breathe and pull him into a deep kiss, which Baizhu readily accepts. “You keep telling me”, he chuckles but avoids looking into your eyes. “Well it’s true”, you insist and Baizhu once more can’t believe how you look at him like he’s the most precious thing you have ever laid eyes on. “You should have seen him the first time you told him that”, Changsheng raises her voice, “he was a flustered mess but he’s been smiling for days afterwards.” “I- Did you have to tell them that?”, Baizhu sighs. “This is still tame compared to that time she told me that you had to redo my prescription because you absentmindedly drew a heart next to my name”, you laugh and Baizhu’s head turns towards his snake companion in shock. “You did what-”

You’re giggling at this point. Baizhu just lets out a disappointed sigh,

“Did you know that the salt in a brine bath can help with various skin and even lung diseases and is a tried and tested remedy for them?”, Baizhu asks as you make another amateur attempt at braiding his hair. “Yes, you told me”, you kiss his cheek, smiling against his skin. “The high concentration of salt in the water also makes you float effortlessly, if you lie down in the water.” Against your protests, Baizhu makes you abandon your masterpiece (a loose braid you improvised without any idea what you’re doing) and holds you as you lean back, letting you float on the water as you look up to the ceiling. It’s the first time you notice that the owners of the establishment have actually crafted the ceiling above the pool to look like the night sky; false stars sparkling above anyone who might come to be in your position right now. “Isn’t it beautiful?”, Baizhu, who had been looking up to the ceiling, remarks. When his eyes meet yours again, he realizes your attention had already shifted. “You’re supposed to look at the ceiling, not my face”, he chuckles but you protest and brush a strand of hair behind his ear. “Got distracted”, you wink and Baizhu leans down to press a kiss to your lips.

The two of you spend a relaxing day at the spa, sharing herbal tea and ending up in each other’s arms at every possible opportunity. 

Capitano, on a day off from his duties as a Fatui Harbinger, prefers to spend the majority of hours at home with you; alone, where he can take off his mask. You’re the only one he has trusted to take it off around in a very long time. A small price to pay for your affection; the way you kiss his lips softly as if he was fragile, even though most would regard him as a monster. Throughout his lifetime he had internalized that his hands were ones meant to kill and lead his men into battle. How ironic it was then, how gentle Capitano was with you. How he held your face in his big hands and looked at you with unmatched adoration in his eyes, whispering how much he loved you while pressing kisses to your forehead.

Capitano likes to take you to the botanical gardens of Zapolyarny Palace. It’s a little project of his; taking care of some of the gardening in his freetime, planting new flowers and making sure they thrive even in a nation such as Snezhnaya. When you first met the Captain, you never expected a man like him to have a hobby like this, but now that you knew, you found it endearing. Just one more thing that you adored about the man.

Capitano takes your hand into his and the two of you take a walk through the garden. He has been working on it for over a decade now and you can tell that he is proud of the result, especially when he gets to see that you find it beautiful and like to visit. After having relied on brute force in his profession for a long time and with the sheer strength Capitano had, it was difficult at first to tend to small, fragile beings such as plants. But everyone has to start somewhere right?

Capitano, being one of the strongest and also one of the most trusted harbingers, has been sent abroad on a mission in the name of the Tsaritsa countless times. An entire shelf in his bedroom is just filled with travel logs that you love to browse through on a relaxing day together like this. You’ll be snuggled up in his arms, skimming through the pages and letting Capitano explain the story behind the pictures he took and the paragraphs he wrote. It was like each time you did this, you learned another new thing to love about him. For someone who was sent into war and all kinds of mysterious dealings, Capitano’s travel logs were surprisingly ordinary. They included the food he had for dinner in a foreign nation, how he witnessed the locals dance at a festival and the natural phenomenons he wanted to make note of. Perhaps these were the things that stuck with him; the experiences he wanted to remember.

In the evenings, Capitano takes you stargazing. Throughout his lonesome strive across Teyvat, the stars had been his trusted companion. Therefore, he knew quite a lot about the constellations and how to use them to navigate. He’d be happy to explain it to you or just sit there with you in silence by the side of a campfire, watching as a shooting star trails across the sky. “Are you going to make a wish?”, you ask, smiling at him from the side. Capitano shakes his head and takes your hand into his. “I have everything I want for as long as I have you.”

If you ask Cyno to pick a date idea, you know full well where this is going. You could have just asked “which deck are you going to use for Genius Invokation TCG today?” because that will be what you’re going to be doing if you let Cyno pick. If you’re as enthusiastic about the game as he is, even better. 

The two of you could have a picnic or visit the tavern to play against other people, Cyno leaves that choice to you. He brings all of his cards, safely concealed within a limited edition Genius Invokation TCG card box, and you’re one of the only people who’s allowed to play with his most rare cards and the ones with a holographic layer. 

He may ramble about how he obtained them and how the intricate design is symbolic for xy plotline in King of Invokations, his favorite novel, but that’s just how he is. A joke here and there, a TCG novel quote thrown in; if you indulge him and encourage him he’s over the moon for you, although he’s making a (bad) attempt at keeping it together. 

If he plays against other people, he’s expecting you to back him up. Knowing you have his back and are cheering him on makes Cyno even more dedicated to win. “The strength you see now does not come from the fortune of my cards, but instead from within; a heart determined to not fail the loved ones who have put their trust in me”, Cyno’s expression becomes more serious as he puts his cards on the table in front of his opponents, “this is a quote from ‘King of Invokations’ that I have felt deeply the first time I read it.” You repress a chuckle and simply leave a kiss on his cheek before getting up to grab your drinks from the tavern counter.

“I believe I have earned myself a kiss”, Cyno smiles at you triumphantly after winning against the group of people he met at the tavern. “I don’t remember promising you one as a reward”, you tease and he smirks, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Well I suppose if you don’t want to, it can’t be helped-”

He’s unsurprised by how you pull him into your arms, locking your lips with his and burying your fingers in his soft white hair. Cyno smiles into the kiss, squeezing your hand gently. The way he reciprocates your gesture shows how much love he feels for you in this moment. 

Cyno only becomes more smitten the more you compliment him for his TCG strategies and his hard-won victories; feeling his heart beat faster as you trail a couple of light kisses down his neck. “I had no doubts you would win”, you smile against his soft skin and Cyno rests his forehead against yours. “Whether I win or lose, for as long as I am privy to your love, I will emerge from every duel victorious”, Cyno whispers and you laugh. “I can’t believe you’re still using King of Invokations quotes to flirt with me.” “They worked better back when you hadn’t read the novels yet”, he lets out a sigh, “it was the price that had to be paid for making you familiar with the lore around Genius Invokation TCG.” You chuckle and wrap an arm around his waist, nuzzling his cheek. “In turn, you can imagine my surprise when I read them for the first time and recognized some of the most memorable things you had said to me…tsk tsk, Cyno, you have to be more original.” Cyno takes your hand into his and looks into your eyes with an earnest look. “In my defense, I remembered them when I spent time with you and they happened to perfectly describe how I feel for you”, he explains before his lips met yours once more. 

Cyno spends the afternoon helping you improve your own Genius Invokation TCG playstyle and he shares some snacks ordered from the tavern with you. You can see that he’s passionate and enjoys every second of this date, even if he tries to play it cool. His still obvious excitement is enough of a reward for you, even if you don’t win the game.

Diluc keeps things classic when he plans a date with you. He’ll take a walk with you through Mondstadt, especially on days when the city hosts a market with fresh food and handmade crafts to look at while you enjoy a nice and sunny day in the City of Freedom. 

If you have your eyes on anything, Diluc might get it for you. He enjoys seeing the smile on your face when he hands the item to you. Diluc has more than enough Mora and if he can use it to add a little joy to your day? That’s all he could hope for. The cool summer breeze and bustling market reminds him of days long gone, when he’d go to the city with his father to promote the drinks created at Dawn Winery. If he’s feeling comfortable enough around you, he might even tell you about it.

“Ah, young Master Diluc…I haven’t seen you stop by in a while”, an older man calls out to Diluc as the two of you pass his stall, “and you must be y/n, right? I remember how quickly word spread throughout the town when it became official that Mondstadt’s richest bachelor had finally settled down. There were a lot of disappointed young ladies, let me tell you…” Diluc awkwardly chuckles and takes your hand in his. “This is Ralf. He’s been putting up this stall at least once a month ever since I can remember”, Diluc explains. The man laughs and turns to you. “You should have seen him when he was just a wee little lad. His father would always buy a bag of cinnamon curd balls for him and Cavalry Captain Kaeya at my stall and the two of them would fight over it as if it was their last meal on death row.” You chuckle at the image of Diluc and Kaeya having a brotherly quarrell over something as simple as baked goods. Although, imagining them as children, it seemed quite on brand for the two. “Ah, that”, Diluc runs a hand through his hair and looks up to the sky as he recalls the memories that seem so far out of reach by now, “looking back on it, it seems like such a trivial matter.”

As you leave through the city gates, Diluc holds your hand all the way back to the winery and if you ask him about it, he’ll tell you more about those simple days of the past when he’d visit the city on the weekends with his family; even smiling fondly at the memory despite the pain in his heart about the death of his father and the estrangement from Kaeya. You were glad your date together could make him recall the good aspects of those memories.

While you were out in Mondstadt, Diluc’s maids already prepared a nice candlelit dinner for the two of you. Diluc has informed them of what kinds of food you prefer and they will adjust the dishes according to your liking. Over a plate of regional food from Mondstadt, you and Diluc talk about all sorts of topics that have come up recently, and Diluc makes sure to also convey his feelings to you through his words more thoroughly than usual. As soon as you finished eating, Diluc sits down with you on the couch and lets you rest in his arms as you continue your conversation from the dinner table. The maids light up even more candles to provide for a romantic atmosphere and quiet instrumental music sounds from the record player. 

Diluc lets his hair down and lets out a sigh. On days like these he decides to let the Darknight Hero rest for a night. After all you deserve for the conclusion of your day together to be sleeping in his arms throughout the night. You rest your head on his shoulder and watch the calming flames of the fireplace as Diluc runs his fingertips up and down your arm. “I apologize if I haven’t spent as much time with you lately”, Diluc whispers and pulls you into a kiss, “please know that I missed you dearly and I love you with all my heart.” You peck at his lips a couple times before reassuring him that you already know. “I love you too, Diluc.”

If you decided to date the mad scientist who earns his wages by experimenting on people you should have seen that one coming but Dottore’s idea of date night includes sharing the research with you that he’s so passionate about.

He lets you pick the experiment. Is there anything you ever wanted to know about the human soul? Our behaviours and motivations? Or perhaps the powers of the gods? The truth of this world? Look no further, because your beloved Zandik is going to get you some answers to them through his rather….unconventional methods. After all, knowledge is the one thing he strives for above all else; and as such it shouldn’t be kept away from the person he loves as well. Whatever knowledge you seek to have, Dottore will happily help you to obtain it. 

“We don’t have all day, y/n. The experiment is scheduled to begin in a couple of minutes”, he sighs and reminds you to hurry up as you give your affection to at least five of his clones that passed you by on your way to the lab. They were always yearning for your attention; as Prime Dottore received most of it, and who were you to turn them down? “You were the one who thought it was a good idea to try and woo me when there’s at least 20 of you”, you tease and link your arm with the one he held out to you, “or are you getting jealous again?” 

Dottore doesn’t respond to your teasing and simply takes the elevator to the underground laboratory with you. He wraps his arms around you and looks into the mirror inside the elevator at how the two of you looked together. The fact that a man like him who had taken so many lives was now so adamant about protecting and nurturing just one brought a chuckle to his lips. “I thought you said that you cleared the lab out safe for your clones”, you remark, “don’t you think it’s time to take that mask off?”

Dottore indulges you and does as you say. You cup his face in your hands. “I still don’t understand why you’d hide a face this beautiful behind a mask”, you smile and press some soft kisses to the scars on his temple. Dottore’s lips meet yours and he wraps his arms tighter around you, unwilling to let go of you just yet. He kisses you passionately. Your fingertips are buried in the soft teal hair that falls into his neck and Dottore sighs into the kiss, no intention of ending it anytime soon. 

“I thought you said we don’t have all day?”, you smirk, pushing him back gently and leading him out of the elevator, “or is that only when I give affection to your segments?” “I’ll let you guess”, Zandik whispers into your ear and presses a kiss to your cheek before heading off the supply closet to get you your lab gear. He actually had it custom-made for you. He explains to you how to wear it properly, as lab safety is very important. “I’ve seen you come in here in a t-shirt and sweatpants”, you raise an eyebrow. “I’m experienced. Let it be of no concern to you. However, seeing you get hurt in my laboratory when the purpose of this day is to provide you with the knowledge you seek is the last thing I’d want.” 

He presses a kiss to your hands before he slips the protective gloves onto your fingers. 

Before beginning the experiment, Dottore lets you come up with your own hypothesis about the outcome. He’s curious to hear your thoughts and why you have this perspective on the experiment setup. He explains how he set up this particular experiment in response to your questions and lets you read the files of the test subjects. 

All in all, Dottore’s research of that day doesn’t differ too much from a regular work day as a Fatui Harbinger, yet he finds himself enjoying to have you around and sharing his findings with you. He makes a note to ask you whether you’d be interested in becoming his assistant permanently. 

Kaveh would love to take you out to the theatre to watch a play with you. He loves the atmosphere of the theatre; that he can forget about reality for a moment and just immerse himself in someone else’s story while also being led to think about the matter of the play in more depth. He wants to share this experience with you. 

Kaveh is the type to bring you flowers before your date. He knows quite a bit about the language of flowers and carefully selects those kinds that would best convey his feelings for you.

He gets nice seats at a table near the stage of Zubayr Theatre for you and brings some drinks and snacks from the nearest cafe or tavern. Before the play begins, Kaveh reads through the leaflet that Nilou had given to you about this new play that would premiere on the night of your date with Kaveh. “I must say, I am really interested in how the story is going to play out, based on the summary they’re giving here”, Kaveh tells you, “it’s always interesting to see the prompt first and wonder how they’re going to make this work with the costumes and props.”

He goes on to talk about how he’d be sure to help the theatre out if they ever needed any advice on architectural styles during a certain time period or needed some designs for their props; but they have yet to commission him. And of course he rants about how Alhaitham just can’t understand the beauty of the performing arts. “I’m glad you get it though”, Kaveh takes your hand into his as the play is about to begin. You sit closer to him so you’ll be able to rest your head on his shoulder or wrap his arms around his waist while watching the play.

Kaveh is mesmerized by what is happening on stage and sometimes quietly rambles about the design of the costumes or the ways the actors express the emotions of their characters. You smile at him fondly as he’s watching the play, brushing a strand of hair out of his face and finding it amusing how much he’s already lost in the fairytale being shown. Your touch distracts him for a moment and Kaveh turns his head to you and presses a kiss to your lips before returning his attention to the stage.

The two of you laugh and talk a lot on your way back home; discussing all the facets of the play. At the end of the day, Kaveh just wants to be alone with you for a bit and be held in your arms. Luckily Alhaitham isn’t home yet, so Kaveh can avoid any quarrels with his roommate. 

Kaveh rests his head on your chest and closes his eyes while you undo his hairstyle and run your hands through the strands on his head. He lets out a relaxed sigh and a smile finds its way to his face. “I love you so dearly”, he whispers and notices how warm your embrace feels. You press a kiss to his forehead. “I love you too, sunshine”, you chuckle and run your fingertips over the exposed skin of his back, which made Kaveh melt into your embrace and relax even more. 

You cup his cheek gently and kiss him, pouring all your love for him into the gesture. Kaveh wore his heart on his sleeve around you and you always knew how he felt about you. In turn, you only considered it natural to express your affections for him in the same way. Kaveh longs for someone who feels as deeply about something as him and will understand him and love him the way he is. Today was just another day to prove that finally someone does. 

You want to be taken out on a nice date? Well, look no further, because this man is going to go all out for you. Pantalone has all the riches in the world, as far as Mora is concerned, and why wouldn't he spend it on his dearest? It is said that the Regrator has a unique understanding of wealth and Mora is just one facet of that. After all, when it comes to love, isn't what we treasure most the memories with our loved ones? And if he can use his Mora to make this one the most memorable date you've ever been on; that's every reason not to be stingy with it.

It all starts with Pantalone joining you for dinner after his work for the day was done; pulling you into a loving kiss that made you drop whatever it was you were currently doing and just be close to him. Pantalone has always been affectionate with you, but with how clingy and appreciative he is today; you either suspect he had a bad day or just one of those days where his thoughts kept circling back to you and he missed you from the moment he left to the second he was reunited with you. Or perhaps it had to do with your anniversary that was approaching.

He pulls out a leaflet from his bag, putting it down on the table in front of you. You take a look at it, looking back up at him in confusion. "A tailor?", you question, still holding the advertisement in your hands. Pantalone nods. "I have recently met them in the city; their store is very new and quite exquisite. They will be here tomorrow to take a commission from the two of us. I have purchased an establishment in the far north and a ball will be held there on our anniversary. Please make sure to give the tailor a detailed description of the suit or dress you want to wear to it", Pantalone takes your hand into his and squeezes it gently, "please do not hold back. If you want there to be real diamonds on it, there's going to be real diamonds on it."

On the day of your anniversary, Pantalone procured a carriage with a portable heater to take you to your destination. Still, he makes sure to also keep you warm personally, holding you in his arms all the way. He kisses you deeply, pulling you into his lap as he showers you in his love and affection.

Pantalone has a nice suite prepared for the two of you in the luxurious building that the ball is being held in and upon arrival he asks you to change into the outfit that the tailor had prepared for you. "Do notify me when you're done and if you need any help, just call out to me."

However when you step out of the dressing room, Pantalone is nowhere to be found. Your questions are answered just a moment later as he enters the room again, wearing a custom-made luxurious suit and holding a bouquet of roses in his hand. "These are for you, my dearest", he kisses you cheek.

Upon entering the ballroom, you notice there isn't really anyone in it aside from the staff and the musicians that Pantalone hired to play your favorite songs. "Where are all the people?", you wonder. Your lover chuckles. "Darling, did you really believe I was going to put you through boring conversations with foreign emissaries and businessmen today?", he presses a kiss to your temple, then another to your cheek, then another to your neck, "no, this is just for the two of us."

"You're aware that you can just rent a location, right, you don't have to buy the whole thing every time?", you raise an eyebrow at him but let him indulge you. He gives you his signature smile with a hint of mischievousness. "Oh no, you misunderstood me, love, I had this built for you over the course of the last few months." "Wait what-"

Pantalone dances the night away with you and enjoys your favorite food with you that he hired famous chefs to make. If you want to sit down for a while or just kiss him and be in his arms, he's fine with that too.

"I love all of this, but why did we come so far out here for this date?", you ask as Pantalone takes your hand into his and gently rubs the back of it with his thumb. "Well, to top it off, once we're done dancing for the night, I'm going to take you to see the northern lights. They're quite beautiful, although they don't compare to you in the slightest", Pantalone pulls you into a hug, "and after that I'll have the staff prepare a nice bath for the two of us. How does that sound?"

Pantalone loves you with all of his heart and if he feels confident enough that you return his love in full....well there might just be another surprise waiting for you in the form of a diamond ring he brought along.

Tighnari's idea of a nice date includes a hike through the nature of Sumeru's rainforest. If you're not that into hiking, you don't have to go far and you can also walk as slowly as you wish to, Tighnari will adapt to you.

He prepared a picnic for you as well. Some of the food for it he bought at the tavern; a few of the items he made himself. Although….Collei definitely helped. 

The two of you eventually stop by a dock near the Apam Woods. “This seems like a good place to rest, don’t you think?”, Tighnari smiles at you and takes his shoes off; sitting down on the dock and letting his feet meet the cold but calming water of the creek while pulling some of the snacks out of his backpack. You sit down next to him. “There’s even a little house here with a cooking pot and a small table on a tree trunk….I wonder who built this here…it’s too small for a human”, you muse and look to Tighnari for answers. “Well, legends speak of an ancient race of small forest creatures connected to the Dendro Archon. Those small houses are scattered all over the rainforest. The people of Sumeru tend to say that they belong to the Aranara. Although I’m not sure how much truth there is to that”, Tighnari shrugs.

You decide for the baklava Collei made as a snack and lean back to let the sun shine on your face. “It’s nice here, isn’t it?”, Tighnari puts his hand over yours, “I just hope none of the adventurers happen to stumble upon me here and go ‘oh Forest Watcher, please help me; I put my hand inside of the mouth of a Rishboland Tiger and now my arm fell off; whatever shall I do?’ this time.” You grin and raise an eyebrow at him. “This wasn’t actually something that happened, right?”, you chuckle. “Kaveh calls that one ‘stylistic exaggeration’, if I recall correctly”, Tighnari laughs. “Fits perfectly with your usual sass”, you tease and your hand wanders to his ears, gently scratching one of them. 

“Collei wanted to make a bet with me how long it’s going to take you before you start doing this once we sit down somewhere”, Tighnari sighs, “she said about half an hour. I didn’t even give you 10 minutes.” You pout and reach for his other ear. “I know you like this and you’re so cute, so why shouldn’t I?”, you press a kiss to his cheek, “don’t tell me this still makes you flustered?” “Not anymore, no”, Tighnari affirms but you recall how his cheeks heated up and he stumbled over his words the first few times you did this. 

You enjoy your snacks together and get ready to move on but the weather has other plans as the rain pours down on you and your fox-like boyfriend. “I hope the Aranara doesn’t mind us using their house for a while”, you say as you enter the small structure. 

Tighnari quickly ends up snuggled against you with his head on your chest and you holding his ears because the thunder hurts in them. “Sorry this hike turned out like this”, he apologizes but you stop him. “It’s not like you can control the weather or something”, you chuckle and nuzzle his ear, “we’re still together right? So what’s the harm of a little rain?”

It all starts when Nilou asks for your help while preparing for a special theatre performance. The actors would all improvise the story based on a prompt that was given before. As Nilou already knew the prompt, she decides to prepare for a play centered around the idea of lovers celebrating their anniversary together. But given that she doesn’t have much experience with love, the two of you decide to go around and ask your acquaintances what their ideal date might look like.

As luck has it, you happen to run into the Wanderer at the Grand Bazaar. So what harm could there be in asking him for his thoughts on the matter as well, right? Although, a part of you decided to do this because of your growing feelings for him.

You quickly explain the situation with the play to him. “If you must know, I don’t care for the idea of a romantic affair. Lovey-dovey stuff and flirting is just a pointless waste of time and makes my skin crawl”, he scoffs, “besides, the notion of two people being bound to each other for eternity simply because of their feelings for one another is ridiculous. Even those endeavors end one day and even someone who claims to love you might leave if offered the right price. They tell you that you mean something to them and then one day you never see them again. There’s no use in pursuing love.” You let out a sigh, not sure what you were expecting for an answer instead of this. 

“Okay, great, now can we put your attitude aside for a moment?”, you roll your eyes, “just imagine you had someone you were in love with. What activities would be fun for you to do with them?” He sighs but muses that Nahida would probably scold him if she found out he didn’t help you with something as simple as an answer to a question. “Hmph. Fine. If I was to go on a ‘date’, I’d like to cook with them. The act of cooking together to produce the perfect meal feels much more intimate than any shallow flirting”, he answers.

“Oh that’s a nice idea!”, you respond before impulse gets the better of you, “we should cook together sometime-”

“Did you just ask me out on a date?”, he raises an eyebrow but blushes furiously. “Well, that depends on your answer, doesn’t it?”, you wink.

“I- I’m not necessarily against it”, he admits and crosses his arms in front of his chest, “ that is, if you can even cook properly.” He huffs and you let out a laugh. “Oh, whatever happened to ‘this is just a pointless waste of time and makes my skin crawl’, huh?”, you dramatically sigh, “if I recall correctly from what Yae Miko told me, in your homeland of Inazuma they refer to this as being a tsundere.” “I’m not-”, his blush darkens, “you should keep your mouth shut before I change my mind.”

Whatever happened to ‘love makes my skin crawl indeed, you think to yourself and smile as you watch the Wanderer carefully handle the ingredients for the meal you’re going to make. He explains every step of the recipe to you and you follow his instructions carefully.

When you accidentally cut your finger while cutting vegetables, Wanderer is at your side with disinfectant and bandaids in an instant. “What the hell are you doing? Are you incapable of cutting a couple of ingredients? You’re supposed to focus on the knive, why were you staring at my face instead?”, he fusses over you, pretending it was because he was annoyed with you. “Well…you’re pretty”, you quietly respond and he shakes his head and lets out a sigh. “You’re too much…” “Aw, you’re worried! If it calms you, you could kiss it better!”, you suggest, winking at him again. “Who do you think you’re talking to-?”, the blush is back on his face and he refuses to look you in the eyes.

“If you tell anyone about this, I’ll never trust you with anything again”, he mumbles a couple hours later after the two of you had finished your meal and he was sitting on your couch with you, snuggled close to you. “Oh, don’t worry, they’re going to know about it soon enough when some random stranger decides to flirt with me and you get jealous”, you tease. “You talk too much”, he scoffs and his lips meet yours in another gentle kiss. He didn’t tell you how he felt just yet, but his actions speak louder than words.

[sefinaa]

❝𝐏𝐀𝐂: 𝐈 𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫, 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐰.❞

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Tips | Paid Readings

Not a tarot card reading, only based on my intuition.

18+ readings

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Pile 1

You must understand that the reason why everything isn’t going your way isn’t due to the fact you’re not a good person. It is not about your good deeds, or your bad deeds. It is not about who you harm inadvertently, this stems from you as a person. What are you looking for or in your case, whom are you looking for? Are you looking for something that satisfies you for the time being or for the longer term? Ask yourself this. Are you deserving of good luck? Am I deserving of the best?

If you think to yourself that every small detail of your life isn’t going well then you stimulate your mindset in the wrong light. Small simple bad things are normal for us all. One paper cut, a fight occurring, a friendship ending, these things are much smaller than you know.

A paper cut, you were careless and you lack patience.

A fight occurring teaches you patience, resilience, and knowledge. You learn from their behavior, are they a hot headed, calm, how do they react? It heightens your sense, awareness and analytical skills.

A friendship ending is a lesson for us all, it makes us grow as a person and it teaches us how to make ourselves the priority because friendships always end no matter, positive or not. Happy memories are the things one can hold on but to reminisce about the past makes us a prisoner. Do you want to be a prisoner? Does that sound ideal to you? If so, why?

So to ask once more, who are you looking for?

Think about this for a bit and speak to yourself about it until you realize you already know the answer.

The answer is within you.

Pile 2

When you see fire near you, you instantly run or perhaps freeze due to fear, and yet here we stand in the midst of it excited by it. Why is that? Why do you think you seek the adventure of danger? Do you think it plays the factor of being the person you desire or perhaps you’re hiding away once more under a facade of dread and hatred?

Do you believe that the burning flame within you is seeking to go upward or downwards? Do you believe that the same burning flame is you or perhaps it's merely the people around you, your environment?

Why all these questions? What is this reading, you may ask, the truth is, your mind is rather clustered of useless thoughts surrounding you like a snowstorm where you cannot escape, only to shelter oneself. Learn to let go of the thoughts that do not benefit you, and take in the ones that makes you happy. Let go of your worries to whom you believe or what you believe in, and let them take those worries away. Come back anew and make yourself whole once more. Your life is in your hands, not them, not the community nor your family, simply just you and you alone. Obstacles surely are a pain, are they not? But then again, obstacles make us whole so, will you be the person who stops midway through the obstacle or will you go forth with it and leap over it, perhaps even swim around it? The choice is yours and it lies within your grasp. You choose.

Pile 3

When you see the moon hiding the sun, you find it to be mesmerizing. The moon shines its beauty for us so we can enjoy the stars, perhaps to stargaze, maybe to feel like ourselves, who knows. But then again it’s just a normal cycle, a factual tradition, I suppose. But then we look at society and how it teaches us that our flaws are significant and that we must be perfect like Barbie and Ken. But then again, one cannot achieve such perfection, it’s simply impossible. Right?

Why do you believe that you must be perfect at everything? You must achieve everything and that if you do not, you’re unworthy? Not good enough and such. What are you gaining from that? Would you preferably say that to a child, let alone your child? No.

Would you find an infant, barely born and tell them, “you’re doing this wrong. What is wrong with you?! You cannot do anything right!” No. So why do you do it to yourself?

If I were to yell at you right now, how would you react? Would you reciprocate it? Would you let it bury inside and create resentment towards me? Maybe you might slap me as well. Or I suppose, you will laugh it off like it’s nothing, or maybe it truly isn’t anything because you became numb to it because you justified it.

Even so, it’s not justified to act so harsh on yourself, high expectations won’t lead you anywhere, well, I suppose it would leave you in a dump. That doesn’t sound enjoyable, does it? No.

Maybe next time, let’s try being easier on ourselves and show gratitude to oneself for achieving a small accomplishment and giving ourselves a reward. Shouldn’t be hard if you actually care for yourself, now would it? You tell me. Decide it for yourself.

Pile 4

When I think of your pile, I see a child, presumably someone who looks pale, but isn’t. I see an image of someone wearing nothing, but not in a perverted fashion. I see them staring into my eyes with such sadness, such hatred in their heart and eyes. So much anger, and yet there is a “help me” feeling of the way they are gazing into my eyes.

What I’m saying is, those reading this pile feels .. a sense of emptiness and apathy. This pile gave me anxiety for 3 hours straight and I ruined my nails by biting them (which I never do), I wish I was exaggerating, but I am not. Your pile is very rocky, lots of anxiety and frustration, and so much resentment. I can feel my heart beating so incredibly fast, I feel suffocated, I feel like I am drowning, but it’s not the same as you expect someone to drown. I feel as I am dying and that is what you feel right now.

I hear depression, anxiety, BPD, and “I’m going to kill you.” Everyone here feels so much anger, it’s going to explode on the next person. Sometimes you feel like no one understands you and they treat you as a joke, at times you feel as if you aren’t important enough to be apart of your social group, even your family as well. At times, you want to.. jump off a cliff but the thought scares you very much, not because you're a coward, but because you have this small shred of hope that you may have a better life, and you will.

I see a hill, someone's child is holding a book or perhaps a diary, they are holding it tightly, close to their heart. Despite if you don’t read or write journals/diaries, something you have within you is what you hold very close to you and you must cherish that. Keep it close, I’m not speaking of your negativity (some of you, stop it), I’m speaking of the thing you want so badly but you believe it is impossible to achieve and yet it is not. How could it be impossible? You found the right pile for you, so what is the issue of you believing it will come to you even when you do nothing? Anything is possible, that’s very obvious, understand this. If you put your mindset on something, in this case, what you want, you think of it or perhaps daydream about it, then it’s yours. That’s all.

Here is what you must hear.

When a shooting star shoots across the night sky, we all become hypnotized by it due to it being such a rarity, correct? We stargaze because stars are so mesmerizing, so enchanting. When you think of what you desire, that lost hope, you become hypnotized about it, don’t you? If shooting stars are possible, then how dare you say what you desire, that shred of hope isn’t possible?

Getting lost in a world of possibilities is such an exciting experience, isn’t it? But when you realize it’s not real, it hurts even more. Perhaps using that small shred of happiness can amplify what you want. Ever think of that? So just daydream or think of the things you want, even if it’s a “silly” daydream about being a knight saving a princess in a castle with dragons and such, and then think of what you want for a split second even and go back to that “silly” daydream. You’ll manifest what you want without even realizing.

My intuition is telling me is that you can get what you desire if you change your approach in life. If you can do that, then that small shred of hope in your life can bypass the hopelessness that you feel as of this moment. It will twist your mind and make it assume that what you want is so incredibly easy to reach and achieve.

[thedovesaredying]

Monsters in the Dark | Nikto x Reader | Part 2

Second chapter of the Cowboy!Nikto AU. Written from the POV of Nikto this time. A reminder once again that there's a prologue and "part 1" is only the first full chapter. The original cowboy AU is owned and created by @ghouljams.

A/N: I'm a day late on my estimation for when it would be done, but life decided to get me sick, busy with uni work, and put one of my legs completely out of action. I also realized about 3 husbandry manuals deep into my research that the chapter would be a bit too long if I included that much information. Instead, the info will be sprinkled in among the next few chapters.

Warnings: Sputnik being a silly girl.

Masterlist: CoD Masterlist

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The weather is downright miserable. While one might assume the worst weather would be torrential rain or unforgiving hail, Nikto is firmly of the belief that there’s nothing worse than a hot, sunny day. It’s hard enough to be constantly covered from head to toe, but to then add on the Texan sun beating down at its full strength? He’s certain he’ll be nothing more than a puddle of sweat by the end of the day.  

At least Sputnik seems to be enjoying the disgusting temperatures. She’s running around the front of the property, completely unfazed by the heat. She welcomes it, in fact, using it as the perfect excuse to paddle into the large dam for a cool swim at the day’s warmest.  

Her paws are caked with mud and grass, so much to her sadness she’s been barred from entering the house, forced to wait until she’s dried off and all the muck has fallen off of her paws. If she’s still dirty by the end of the day then a quick hosing down will be in order, but she’ll likely consider that a fun game too.  

For now, she’s content to lay stretched out on the porch, her side rapidly rising and falling as she pants.  

The weather isn’t the only thing that’s miserable, however. Nikto’s mood has been foul ever since his forced trip into town for new supplies. A certain hyena had decided that she was bored while her owner was away and had decided to chew a rather large hole in the wall of the shed.  

The hole was easily large enough for her to climb through and so, after having already spent most of the day hard at work, Nikto was forced to leave for the only hardware store in town. Some new planks of wood and a hammer not riddled with rust later, and he’s reminded of the invoice he received the vet clinic a few days prior and has also yet to pay for.  

He’s not quite sure what possessed him to go to the clinic in person, but he was disappointed regardless with what greeted him. The receptionist was painfully cheery and seemed determined to dig into his business with her endless questions. He’d left feeling completely drained from only a single conversation with the woman. You hadn’t been there. He can’t fathom why that annoys him so much.  

The hole in the shed was simple enough to fix, even under the intensity of the sweltering heat, but the issue of Sputnik remains.  

Clearly, he can’t leave her unattended for several hours at a time just for work. She’s never had to entertain herself in such an environment and clearly, it’s stressing her out being without her only packmate. She requires both social interaction and physical activity, but above all of that, needs mental stimulation.  

Like a toddler left without a guardian, Sputnik has decided that she can tear apart the house and garden while unattended. Plants have been torn out of the ground, wooden structures gnawed to bits, and most concerningly, large holes dug along the fence line.  

The situation is far from ideal, but Nikto does not abandon his own. He isn’t like those bastards at the CIA who are willing to leave those loyal to them knowing full well they will perish without help. He made that decision a long time ago, and Sputnik’s very name is a tribute to that.  

It was only three years ago, but it felt like eons. It started with a small enemy group hidden deep within the South African wilderness who were utilising spotted hyenas as guard animals. Nikto and his team had cut through the animals both outside and inside the building, even the ones hidden away in the basement below. 

In the end, only a single cub remained; a tiny girl still nestled up against the steadily cooling body of her mother. She couldn’t have been more than a week or two of age, bright eyed as all hyena newborns are, and covered in scraggly fur.  

The other men on the team planned on putting the animal out of her misery, but the sight gave Nikto pause. She was small and defenceless, and abandoned by her cowardly handlers to be killed by their enemy. It was a story he couldn’t help but find familiar. Picking up the infant, she snuggles into his vest, completely trusting of him despite not having known him for more than a few seconds.  

She whines and licks at him as he tucks her into his shirt, safe and warm pressed up against scarred skin. No one says a word, when he leaves the compound with the cub and boards the waiting helicopter for the trip back to base.  

His first thought was to name her Laika, but that name seemed a little too common for his taste, and so he chose Sputnik, the name of Laika’s space capsule and eventual tomb. A tribute to yet another stray who was left behind by those who should have protected her.  

Sputnik would not suffer the same fate; she would never be disregarded like a broken toy thrown into the trash. She’s good, she’s loyal, she trusts Nikto unconditionally. Destroying a bit of property would never be a reason to break that trust.  

Instead, he presses dial on your number and holds his phone to his ear. He’s been thinking it over for several minutes, finger hovering over the button with your contact listed, before forcing himself to press it. For a long while it rings and he’s about to give up when you finally answer with a bright greeting to whoever is on the other side.  

He grunts out your name, listening as you happily chirp his own back at him in return. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” you ask. He can hear the soft rumbling of a car’s engine in the background and can only assume you’re driving somewhere.  

“I require... assistance,” he says after a long pause, letting the conversation drift into silence. While it isn’t necessarily help he’s asking for, it still rankles deeply that he isn’t solving the issue alone. He despises being indebted to anyone for anything, but for some reason he doesn’t get the feeling you’re out to acquire favours from anyone. You’re a professional merely doing what you’re trained for and nothing more. He can admire that.  

“What can I help you with? Is Sputnik alright?” You sound so genuinely concerned about her, so much so that it sounds like you almost drop your phone.  

He glances down at the hyena laying happily at his feet, panting up at him with a broad grin. “She is fine,” he confirms, catching the relieved sigh you let out, “it is behavioural issues she is dealing with.”  

You make a soft sound, clearly intrigued, “well, I’m on the road at the moment heading toward my next appointment, but I should have time to drop in to your place in a few hours. Will you be around then?”  

“да,” he hums, “we will be here.”  

“Perfect! I’ll be there in a few,” you confirm, and after offering an acknowledging grunt, he ends the call.  

He goes to pocket the phone but pauses, glancing at your number. Mulling it over for a good long while, he selects the number and adds it to his contacts. There’s only two other people there, one of them his current workplace and the other one of his old acquaintances from before even his time in KorTac.  

A rather dramatic huff from Sputnik draws his attention from staring at his phone, and he watches her with hidden amusement as she rolls over onto her stomach. She looks up at him with big, sad eyes and a pathetic whine. When he merely rolls his eyes at her she playfully snaps her teeth in his direction.  

“Я не знал, что ты такая королева драмы,” he growls back, curling the undamaged part of his lip at her.  

The hyena, fortunately, can tell he’s still joking despite his deadpan tone and leaps to her feet with a delighted cackle. She shakes out her coat, biting at the air. The moment he so much as twitches a finger in her direction she turns and leaps off the top of the deck, forgoing the stairs so she can sprint across the yard.  

Nikto stands from his chair but doesn’t give chase, watching as the crazy animal spins around in circles before darting off toward the dam again. She dives into the water with a splash, sending muddy water in all directions. He cringes slightly at the sight of the hyena now dripping with muck. At least he was already planning on hosing her down. The rest of the afternoon passes slowly, with Nikto taking some time to rest while Sputnik causes minimal trouble.  

When your car finally does pull up, the poor girl has exhausted herself again, laying in a pile of leaves while she happily naps away. The moment her flicking ears pick up the sound of your truck on the gravel she jumps up again, eyes wide as she takes in the familiar sight. She’s already giggling to herself with excitement, looking between Nikto and your vehicle.  

“место!” Nikto calls, ignoring the sad whimper that earns. He approaches when you pull up, patiently waiting as you drop out of the front seat and close the door behind you.  

When you spot him, you offer a wave and grin, “hey, Nikto!” You take a moment to glance over at Sputnik and he can see her near enough vibrating with how excited she is to come over and greet you out of the corner of her eye. “How’ve you been doing?” you stop just before him, looking him right in the eye, completely unfazed by the monster you’re facing down.  

“We are fine,” he says, perhaps a little too firmly given the way you blink at him, “we require some assistance with behavioural issues.” He quickly amends his statement in the hopes of not immediately scaring you off.  

Fortunately, you’re quick to bounce back, a smile returning to your face, “of course, what sorts of problems are you experiencing?”  

“Спутник!” The hyena’s head shoots up upon hearing her name, “ко мне!” She sprints across the grass, very nearly crashing into his legs with her enthusiasm to heed her owner’s command. “She is getting bored when left alone,” he explains, watching as you reach your hand out for the hyena, “eating walls, digging holes, breaking everything she can reach.”  

Sputnik snuffles at your hand, before whining and immediately shifting to lean up against you, demanding pets. You scratch behind her neck and Sputnik’s tongue lolls out of her mouth in delight. “I’m sure we can work something out to help prevent her from damaging anything else or accidentally eating something she shouldn’t be.”  

“She struggles when left alone, especially during work hours,” he adds on, turning and starting to stalk toward the side of the house where the majority of the damage can be seen.  

“Okay, well she sounds like she just needs some enrichment to keep her occupied while you’re away,” you nod to yourself as you follow Nikto around to the side of the house. Several of the small plants that had been happily growing in little spots around the yard have been either pulled from the soil or completely shredded if they couldn’t be moved.  

You look at the scattered remains of the poor shed’s wall, but don’t look entirely surprised by the backyard warzone you’ve stepped into. You frown down at Sputnik, scratching her between the ears, “what a silly girl,” you coo, rubbing at her ears as the hyena grins up at you with half-lidded eyes, “you shouldn’t be eating all this stuff, it’ll make your tummy sore!” 

Somehow, your baby-talk voice just serves to make Sputnik even giddier, and she eagerly licks at the tips of your fingers. Nikto almost rolls his eyes at the little heart eyes the animal is subjecting you to. It’s impressive, really, how she can remember someone is a friend from only a single interaction.  

When you snap back from your babying of the animal, you quickly refocus. “Hyenas have very powerful jaws, and they love to chew things, so if she doesn’t have enough to keep her entertained then she’ll find something to destroy.”  

“She was given an old tyre a few weeks ago, but it only lasted a few days.” To say he was deeply unimpressed with how quickly she’d torn it to pieces would be an understatement. He knew that Sputnik had quite the bite on her, but to chomp through nine millimetres of rubber like it’s cardboard? Impressive, if a little annoying.  

“How big is your freezer?” you abruptly ask him, and Nikto suddenly worries where this line of questioning is going. Does he need to check the trunk of your car? Regardless, he offers you a nod.  

“Perfect!” You clap your hands together, making Sputnik jump excitedly at the sudden sound, “it’s supposed to be quite hot tomorrow, so I can think of at least one idea for her.” You start listing out what the two of you are going to do rapid-fire with the same confidence and efficiency of any commanding officer.  

You’re in your element, your passion for your work clear as day and you have him following your every instruction. You’re like a fount of knowledge when it comes to anything and everything husbandry related, suggesting changes to Sputnik’s diet, new toys to keep her entertained, and ways to prevent her from destroying anything she really shouldn’t be messing with.  

When you finally end up leaving, it’s long past sundown. Sputnik has grown bored of watching the two of you working in the shed and has retired to her massive dog bed for a nap, so the two of you have been working in comfortable silence. He’s glad you don’t feel the need to fill the air with irritating chatter, only offering corrections here and there.  

He escorts you to back to your truck, closing your door behind you once you’re settled comfortably into the driver’s seat. You roll down the window and offer him a grin, but he can see just how tired you are given how your eyes are slightly drooped. “How much do we owe?” he asks, quickly tearing his gaze from your sweet smile.  

Little wrinkles appear across your forehead as your lips turn downward, an innocent, confused look on your face, “owe you?” 

He resists the urge to roll his eyes and instead just huffs in mild amusement, “payment, for your work.” 

Your eyes light up in understanding and you laugh, “oh, no, don’t worry about that,” you wave him off, “I’m just happy to help out.” You just smile up at him, as if you can’t see anything wrong with what you just said.  

Nikto is forced to remind himself that you’re a civilian, not another untrustworthy operator. Not everyone does things purely for the pay they’ll be rewarded with, even if the very thought of not giving you something in return makes him uncomfortable. He holds his hand out to you, “phone.”  

You blink at him for a second, but quickly do as you’re told, just like the good girl you are. He goes into your contacts and adds his number and details, hitting save the moment he’s done. He doesn’t bother adding a picture, passing your phone back to you, “call us when you require assistance.” He waits until you offer him a nod before he steps back from the side of the car.  

You have an odd, flustered look on your face for some reason, but you’re quick to snap out of whatever daze you're in and give him a quick wave as you put your truck into reverse. He watches silently as you disappear back down the driveway and into the steadily darkening evening, waiting until you’re out of sight.  

Sputnik is absolutely delighted the following morning when Nikto presents her with her blood and peanut butter ice block.

-

Translations

“да,” - “Yes” 

“Я не знал, что ты такая королева драмы,” - “I didn't know you were such a drama queen,”  

“место!” - “Stay!” 

“Спутник!” - “Sputnik!” 

“ко мне!” - “Come!”  

[kakiastro]

The 4th House: Your Inner World

We do not talk about the 4h enough on here! This area in life can really reveal what’s happening in a person life that they don’t show in public.

-when ppl think of the 4h, the first thought is family. This shows you how you were raised, the type of home environment you grew up in. It indicates the type of themes you will face into your adulthood that reflects your childhood. This also show the emotional state of your family. If you have any planets in your 4h, you may have several family members with that planetary sign rulers, or whatever sign you have your mercury in:

Example: if you have Mercury Scorpio living in your 4h, you may several family members with Gemini/3h, Virgo/6h, Scorpio/ 8h placements somewhere in there chart.

- the 4h rules your whole family ancestry on your mother side. You can see the struggles and successes they had. The ruler of your 4hsign and placement can give you even more insight. Your 4h is like your genealogy just without the names, places and things. However, you can see the energy and what was passed down to you. This is where family stories that’s been passed down to you comes into play, write those down and look at your 4h. Even if you don’t know much about your family history, study your mom or grandmother life, that reveals patterns that was passed down to them and you.

-this actually shows who a person is underneath the surface. The 4h literally sits at the bottom of your chart. It’s the anchor, the thing that keeps you grounded. Despite what you show to your everyone else (10h), your 4h is who you are when you’re at home in your undies, your naked here.

Example: a person with a Mars 4h has a very active home life, there’s always something going on(good or bad). They may feel themselves at home then out in public. If they invite you to their house, you’ll see a completely different person than you thought you knew.

-you know the phrase “who raised yall?” All that can be seen in the 4h. Now Saturn rules over parenting but the 4h shows how that played out. How you were raised (4h) shows up in your very public life. Now if the ruler of your 4h shows up in a public house, everyone may knows your business.

Example: Kim Karsashian 4h planet ruler is in her 1h. The 1h is literally you, with the 4h in her house, her family is a main part of her image and life this incarnation.

-a A LOT of people don’t know this because it’s not that taught in a lot of public spaces but the 4h is connected to your death. The 4h rules endings of life. When people think of death, they think of Pluto because it rules over death. It’s a different kind of death though. So, the 4h is when you actually leave this realm but the 8h is the process and transformation of your death. It’s also what you left to those you love such as your beneficiaries etc. I hope this is making sense lol. Let me know if you want me to make a separate post on this topic

Example: Kurt Cobain has a 4h Sagittarius with ruler Jupiter in Cancer 10h. First, his death was very public globally, and is still talked about to this day(Sag). Everyone has there own opinions and ideal on his death which is also very Sagittarius He passed in his home(Cancer 10).

*DONT go looking at your chart trying to predict your death either after this nor don’t message me asking if I can read your chart about it. The answer is No! You’ll just give yourself anxiety and drive yourself cray. If you’re alive, focus on your mission only, focus on Life!!

- on the spiritual side of things, the 4h rules over your Soul family and soul ancestry. This is different than your regular family that you were born into. This family are the ones who’s been with you for several lifetimes and dimensions. Now, some of you family members may be apart of your soul family but this isn’t the case for everyone.

I’ll end this post here but I am open for full natal chart readings, check my pin page to see other options! Happy July!!

[jesse-pinko]

Feelings on Amma and how desperate she is for affection? She occupies my brain constantly but I’m not smart enough to talk about her.

*Rubs hands together like an uggo little housefly* I have sooo many thoughts okay so Amma is an abused child whose choice of coping mechanism for said abuse is to try and make believe some sense of control over her situation by pretending that she is in a symbiotic rather than abusive relationship with her mother, that she and her mother have a mutual understanding whereby Adora gets to uhh umm straight up poison her, but in exchange must shower her with the love that Amma knows, deep down, isn’t really there. Amma wants this compensation for her suffering, and the only currency of any value to her is her mother’s love, and the only consolation she has is that she might someday get to be a beautiful, perfect ghost, like Marian. That maybe someday, Adora will kill her, and she will have secured herself the best case scenario for a women in Wind Gap, which is to be perceived forever as the feminine ideal without the possibility of disgrace always looming overhead (similar ideas of The Dead Girl being society’s underlying feminine ideal, the inevitable outcome of the expectations placed on women and girls, were also explored in Gone Girl). We see Amma’s relationship with both her mother and Alan reflected in her relationships with sex and boys, in that she lets older boys sexually abuse her and tells herself she’s the one using them, and that these transactions are just that, transactional, the only kind of love she knows, and the boys largely inconsequential. And her dollhouse, her fancy, needs to be an exact replica of her mother’s house because it allows her to exercise control over an environment she otherwise has no real control over. Adora striking up friendships with Ann and Natalie was a breach of contract that had to be rectified, and so when murdering Ann and Natalie only ends up elevating them to the lauded status of Dead Girl, and they receive more attention than ever, Amma is beyond furious, and receives Camille with some measure of warmth because she is primed to find a new mother if the old one can’t keep up her end of the bargain, though she can’t rule Camille out as competition. And while she most certainly felt antipathy toward her victims, her romanticization of death is what really enables her to kill without remorse. After all, what she wouldn’t have given to be Marian, loved by her mother, loved by everyone, forever, without ever having to bleed for it again. Because nobody in her life loved Amma enough to help her until Camille, and by then it was already too late. And she doesn’t stop killing even after she knows it won’t get her the outcome she wants, because she needs to feel it again, that power over another person, another child, another girl. Amma has never felt less like a helpless victim, less like those murdered girls, in her whole life. Which just makes the whole thing that much easier.

[prettieinpink]

how do I learn to love my appearance? I know it won’t matter if other people think, it matters what I think. So how do I improve my self concept about my appearance?

HOW TO CHANGE THE WAY YOU VIEW YOURSELF (APPEARANCE)

!disclaimer! Please be patient with yourself when learning how to love yourself, and remember that being discouraged and down is all a part of the process. 

UNDERSTAND THE WAY YOU VIEW YOURSELF. Do you tend to view yourself as inferior, or do you think you’re heavily flawed? Write out everything that you think about yourself, anything that comes to mind. 

Then go back and re-read everything. See what is true, or something you have been conditioned to believe and why. Most of the time, our perspective of ourselves is skewed due to many external factors. This activity will help to see which parts of ourselves we see in someone else’s POV. 

TAKE A STEP AWAY FROM THE MIRROR. When you want to improve your perspective of how you look, avoid taking selfies, looking at old photos and prolonged looks in the mirror for maybe a week or fortnight. It’ll help to ground yourself appearance-wise, as you’ll realise that regardless of your attractiveness, it’s possible to live without having to reassure yourself of how attractive you are. 

ACCEPT YOUR FLAWS. You don’t have to embrace them and tell yourself that you love your flaws so much, but just accept the fact that they’re there. It’s okay to dislike parts of ourselves, but we should acknowledge flaws from a place of love, not hatred. 

GIVE YOUR APPEARANCE A BIGGER PURPOSE. Your appearance doesn’t just have to be for aesthetics, it can serve you in different ways. For example, your eyes help you to read your favourite books and your stomach digests all this yummy food. 

Your physical features should not cause you guilt or self-hate, like I said, acknowledge your flaws from a place of love. 

YOUR SOUL IS THE MOST ATTRACTIVE FEATURE OF YOU, and no one else can have a soul and mind that is even remotely similar to you. Instead of worrying about how pretty your face or body looks, worry about how pretty your soul is. Are you nourishing it and allowing it to flourish, or is it slowly rotting in your vessel? 

Once your soul starts to flourish, it will reflect on your vessel(body), and you will notice a difference. 

STUDY YOUR MIND. If you can, take a small notebook and pen everywhere or write on your phone as soon as you get a negative thought about your appearance. If that is too difficult, then write a tally about how many times you’ve thought that way. 

At the end of the day, look at your findings and see what may have triggered this thought to occur. Have you always thought this? Was someone else saying something that conditioned you to believe a certain way? Does your current environment encourage this way of thinking? 

RECOGNISE A NEED FOR A RE-BRAND. Sometimes when we feel unsatisfied with the way we look, it could be that this is us internally craving a re-brand into our higher self. 

Maybe you’ve kept the same style for 5 years and you realise it’s not so flattering, or maybe you feel like your style isn’t in alignment with your ideal self. Whatever the reason, ask yourself if a rebrand is a good idea for you. 

Done! This was difficult to write, but I’m proud of the way it turned out. I hope you can take away at least one thing and take care of yourself! ♡

[creature-wizard]

ngl as an abuse survivor the whole “micro trauma” thing makes me roll my eyes back into my head like that’s life babe sometimes we have a negative experience it’s not trauma 💀💀💀 i really feel like so many folks live soft lives that any negative feeling becomes “traumatic” and something to avoid. i don’t think it’s good to conflate times your ego was tested or times that didn’t go exactly your way with genuine trauma. you’re more resilient than that. (obviously this isn’t about day to day trauma living as a bipoc in a racist white society etc but i don’t think you were talking about that either)

Welp, there's a lot to unpack here.

First of all, I'm an abuse survivor with my own share of trauma. I was raised in a form of conservative apocalyptic Christianity where beatings were considered an acceptable form of punishment. Because my parents believed that parental authority was never wrong, and anything a child did or even felt that seemed to challenge that authority (whether intentional or not), I was constantly told that I was wrong for having my own feelings, punished for having my own feelings if I dared to to express them. In addition to this, my family thought I needed to be very aware that the Mark of the Beast was coming and I needed to emotionally prepare myself for beheading once the Antichrist took over and started killing anyone who refused the Mark of the Beast.

In addition to this, I was subject to all of the day-to-day trauma that comes from growing up with ADHD and autism in an ableist society, as well as the trauma that comes from growing up with ADHD and autism in an environment where people think children must be obedient at all times. (My parents believed spanking and slapping was fine, by the way. So, that happened often enough. And when it wasn't spanking or slapping, it was my mother screaming and yelling.)

Now with all of this context established, I'm going to tell you: You don't get to decide who does and doesn't get to have trauma. Trauma doesn't work according to some abstract notion of what should and shouldn't constitute "trauma." People can, in fact, be genuinely traumatized over things that seem totally ridiculous to you.

Also? You don't know what other people are living through. You don't know what goes on behind closed doors. You don't know how people are being traumatized by economic circumstances, by bullshit at the workplace, by knowing that Christofascists want to subjugate them or kill them. You don't know how many people are being slowly traumatized by partners who invalidate and mock them in countless tiny ways every day. You don't know how many people are being traumatized by thinking they should be able to meet certain expectations that they don't realize are based in ableist standards or impossible capitalist ideals.

You've also evidently never had a conversation with someone who can't figure out how they're such a mess because they "don't have a reason to be traumatized," but the more you talk to them the more it comes out that they lived a profoundly messed up life, and were profoundly mistreated in a thousand ways that they didn't even recognize as mistreatment at the time. (No, it's not normal for your mother to call you ableist slurs if you can't tend to her every whim in five seconds.)

You also say "obviously this isn’t about day to day trauma living as a bipoc in a racist white society etc but i don’t think you were talking about that either." And you know what? You wanna know what? I absolutely was, because my post was meant to be inclusive of all forms of microtrauma.

Anyway, I hope you can recognize that suffering and trauma aren't a contest, and trying to decide who does and doesn't "deserve" to have trauma based on your own personal abstract ideals and limited comprehension of their lives doesn't help anyone.

[junhuiste]

experi-meant to be ⋆ park wonbin

pairing: wonbin x gn reader

tags/warnings: fluff, cursing, college au, laboratory environment, one mention of baking, 1600 words

a/n: i meant to publish this on valentine’s day since i had lab that day but i never finished it lol. there’s some microbio lab procedure jargon so like this is what streaking plates is if you want a visual lmfaoao. this is my first published work in like three years it feels weird haha + i might change my layout/header for fics but for now i’ll keep the same layout i've had for past fics

wonbin believes U are the uracil to his adenine—you should always be paired together.

| seunghan: dude 

| seunghan: lowkey i can’t come to lab bc my car won’t fucking start so i’ll have to make it up next week :\ but taehyun and his partner would probably be willing to help you out with calculations and clean up hopefully

Wonbin pants heading up the stairs into the classroom lab, cheeks immediately pink as he’s made a spectacle amongst everyone already sitting and tuned into the TA’s pre-lab lesson. Sighing as he processes Seunghan’s text, Wonbin turns to the drawing of bacterial growth curves on the whiteboard but is soon after preoccupied with the fact that there is no Taehyun on a stool. There’s just your backside entirely in front of him. 

Taehyun is one to set up all his materials before the TA even steps foot through the lab door so if he isn’t here now then that means—

“Guess you’re stuck with me for today.” 

Wonbin tries to swallow but it gets stuck halfway down his throat and is about to go into a choke type cough frenzy when he surprises himself and softly clears his throat instead. His thoughts are all just stuck there—in the middle of his esophagus, begging for them to travel back up to his brain so he has enough stamina to stick it through the four hour class. 

“No hate to him because Taehyunnie’s a tad faster at getting through the steps, so you know, we’re usually out thirty minutes early, but I can promise you I’m better at calculations. And I’m more precise with measurements,” you let out a small giggle before setting your backpack on the floor next to Wonbin’s.

The commotion of pipettes being thrown onto the surface, glass tubes clinking, and sneakers squeaking rushing to obtain their samples is right away drowned out in Wonbin’s ears by the sight of you perched atop the stool a mere few inches away from him. He tries to keep his chest from heaving at bay by taking his notebook out of his backpack and reviewing the method for today’s class. The solution is only short lived though, promptly taking notice of how you gather materials from the drawer while simultaneously reading through your own notebook. 

Every Tuesday and Thursday, Wonbin assumes his seat in the third to last row of his Virology lecture, close enough to the door that he can be among the first to leave as soon as “see you guys next time” leaves Professor Choi’s lips. He longs for the day (ideally it would be quite before the last week of classes but realistically that’s the best he has to offer for now) that he musters up just the slightest bit of courage to join you and Taehyun in the second row, where Seunghan also occasionally accompanies you two. It’s only the third week of this semester, but perhaps the sixth course of his over the past three years Wonbin’s seen you in. From Biochemistry to Rhetoric 2, he has never taken place at a desk next to yours. 

Wonbin’s always aching to know how you’d answer everything he could ever ask you, be it the attendance quiz question or your weekend plans—what time you usually roll out of bed, whether or not you stroll to the local farmer’s market near campus, if you’re spending Saturday with a special someone. He needs to hear you laugh at Taehyun’s cynicism about college. He needs to hear it up close, not having to strain his ear when he’s fifteen rows behind when you crack up at your friend during the five minute break Professor Choi gives the class. 

But Wonbin will take what he can get for now, and if that’s helping you fulfill your wish of completing the lab procedure as quickly as possible, he’ll do it. 

“I can do the calculations for us,” you begin, “would you mind getting our mutant strains at the front of the class and streak the Petri dishes?” 

Wonbin nods almost too enthusiastically and curses at himself for seeming embarrassingly desperate in front of you. Sure, he’d like to muster up the courage to ask you out, but today he’ll try to take it one step at a time.

When Wonbin returns with new plates to grow your bacteria on and two tubes filled with your bacterial strains, you scoot your chair closer to his to later show the finished calculations. He catches a whiff of your light perfume and almost falls out of his own chair. 

As he’s setting up the Bunsen burner for sterilization, you chuckle, “you know the real reason Taehyun’s not here today is because he left town last night to get a head start on the extravagant romantic weekend he has planned with Gaeul.”

“If there’s one way to use our one free unexcused absence, that’ll do it,” Wonbin replies. 

“Do you have any plans for Valentine’s Day, Wonbin? I mean if you did I just hope you wouldn’t leave me early like Taehyun did,” your eyes meet his for a brief second before flitting back to your notebook.

Wonbin’s grip on the matchstick to light the burner loosens. He just barely catches himself before the match could fall from his hand onto the lab bench. What he needed to get a grip on was his fucking sanity—he almost set the classroom on fire because his heart instead is aflame for yours. 

Taking a breath, Wonbin exhales when the flame turns to blue, finally lighting the Bunsen burner. 

“Nope, no plans,” he briefly turns to you. There’s a beat and he considers that asking you back would seem too forward, but he does it anyway. 

Upon seeing your grin before you open your mouth, he turns his attention right back to the tubes and plates in front of him. 

It’s so over. 

For a second Wonbin’s relieved, because he thinks he can actually get through the next two hours without overthinking his micro movements in front of you. Now that it’s over for him, maybe he can actually pay attention to the way the metal loop he’s holding makes contact with the jelly-like agar inside the plastic plate and not disappoint Seunghan with the results. However, it’s not realistic because even still, Wonbin takes note of all your beauty and remains completely bewitched.

“Honestly I wish...I mean Minjeong, Yunjin and I are gonna do a rom-com binge and bake desserts…but you know…not any plans with someone like that…” 

Your temporary lab partner tries to hide his smile and nods silently as he continues switching between spreading bacteria on the plate with the metal loop and then sterilizing the loop in the blue flame. 

The rest of lab goes smoothly as Wonbin tries to quell the embers within him for the time remaining. There’s forty minutes left but technically to you Wonbin knows time is dashing away and it should feel like there’s what but only ten minutes left to do everything. Your pair was a few steps ahead of the others, just like how it would be when Taehyun accompanied you every week. 

Wonbin has been psyching himself up the past two hours to finally ask you out but currently he’s stuck in his head and just can’t seem to get it out. Does he chase you after you’ve stepped foot out of the lab or should he leave you be? Or maybe he can try next week. He’ll keep telling himself that until there’s one day of instruction left and then he won’t see you for three months and then he’ll lament the entire summer to Seunghan that he didn’t say shit. 

He can do that…or just rip the bandage off at an agonizing speed. 

The last Petri dish that Wonbin holds is being wrapped in parafilm to prevent contamination. He’d been going through the motions of the procedure while simultaneously not paying attention to his surroundings, at his own self’s behest. You’ve already cleaned the entire lab bench and he doesn’t notice until he hears “see you in Virology,” and suddenly you’re slinging your backpack over your shoulder. 

It’s now or next week…or never—wait you know that Wonbin’s in your Virology class? What you said is ringing in his ears and it hits him all at once.

Petri dishes in hand and turning around, Wonbin freezes in his tracks.

“Um…”

Your eyebrows furrow.

“Do you want to hang out tomorrow?” his own mouth betrays him and suddenly it’s all coming out much too quickly for his liking. 

You’re about to answer but before you can even get a word in, “I-I don’t mean to interfere with your plans with your friends but uh, if you wanted to do something like that I’m down.”

Your lips press into a line and Wonbin is about to pass out from the threatening fluorescent classroom lights. 

“Park Wonbin…are you asking me out on a date?” He can practically feel his sweat melting the parafilm tape off and a vision of him dropping the Petri dishes in front of you, cracking open and shattering, exposing E.coli to everyone in the room flashes before him. He blinks once and calms his vice grip on the plates. 

“Yes. Yes I am asking you out on a date,” Wonbin looks down at your sneakers, not knowing where else to shift his gaze to. 

“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” you smirk, slinging the other strap of your backpack over your other shoulder and saluting.

Park Wonbin swears his heart is on fire and does a backflip off a fifty foot cliff. A curve forming on his lips, he smiles slightly waving with the plates still in his hand, “see ya…”

You halt your forward movement and turn back around, “Wonbin?” he perks up again, “you should sit next to me in lecture on Tuesday.”