#this isn’t even getting into all the ways this steps on trans men but they were definitely on my mind as always

[trans-androgyne]

I want there to be fewer MRAs. Do you want that too? Do you want to know what helps us get there, from a feminist perspective?

You may not like my answer: acknowledge that sexism can affect men. Recognize that, although the patriarchy generally privileges men, they are also subject to restrictive gender roles that are harmful to them (shunning all things “feminine,” not showing emotions, being protectors/strong, never admitting being victims of SA/IPV, having to “earn” their manhood, etc.).

Give young men a place other than the right-wing manosphere to be heard about the issues they experience. If these grifters are telling them “only we understand how hard it is to be a man, the left hates you for your gender” and they look to the left and see “men claiming they have ‘problems’ are losers who just hate women, all men are trash,” do you think they’re going to be drawn towards or away from feminism?

Before you leave an angry response: no, this does not mean to center men instead of women in feminism, it just means including them at all. No, it is not “coddling�� men to treat them with human dignity, you can and should continue to hold them (and every other gender) responsible for unpacking sexist beliefs. No, this does not mean it is every individual woman’s and feminist’s responsibility to prioritize men’s issues, it just means at the least not shutting them down when they do speak up about sexism. No, it is not “not all men-ing” to point out that “men are trash” sentiments hurt the feminist movement rather than helping it. Ask questions before you make accusations on this post, please. I have been abused by men too, I get it, this isn’t easy to hear.

[earthphoenixstories]

White tears, brown scars and the internet jumping on a black trans person hate campaign.

I realise that a lot of the OL fandom are under 25 and are still at an age where y’all are learning and maturing and that’s great. However as someone who is close to being 40 I need y’all to do some reading for me.

White Tears, Brown Scars: How White Feminism Betrays Women of Color by Ruby Hand.

The black person at the centre of all this is a trans person that doesn’t identify as a woman. Yet all I see is blatant misgendering. This black person upset you, therefore their gender identity becomes meaningless.

Sadly, this behaviour isn’t new to me. I’ve watched it happen for too long many times over the years.

So of course what is the next step when white people get in their feelings? They hit the pockets of creators. Demanding refunds, getting them demonetised, trying to silence them by any means necessary.

The most recent example of this that I can think off is White Woman Whisper on TikTok. During the man vs bear debate, she pointed out that black women generally, would feel safer in a board room setting with a white man than a white woman. Oh boy did the white women get all up in their feelings about that. Within hours, White Woman Whisper had been removed from the TikTok creators program and hate white women making endless think pieces about how upset they were.

Y’know what? Tough. Sometimes y’all need to ti be told the truth even if it upsets you. I don’t trust white people, and I’m half white myself.

When a white person makes a mistake it’s “they’re young, they’ll learn. Everyone needs grace to grow and become better.”

When a black person makes a mistake it’s, “wow, that’s so disrespectful how can you think that? I hope you get fired. I’m reporting your comments to your boss, your school, I’m going to blast you on the internet.”

We don’t get “grace”, we aren’t allowed to learn and grow. There’s immediately “discourse” and the need to hold that black person “accountable.”

Where is this smoke for 99% of white folks who use their privilege as a shield.

It’s not until a whole person does something that crosses a line and stars upsetting white women that they start to get called out.

See JK Rowling and Elon Musk as examples. Queen Terfette literally named the only black adult in the series “Shacklebolt” and no one batted an eye. Her name choices were praised for being “clever” and “imaginative.”

She even did an interview where she called her fans “delusional” and no one spoke up against her. Even when she started saying openly transphobic things, she was protected. Until the dam burst and the tables turned.

And yet all that time black folks and other people of colour were calling her out and pointing out the lazy and offensive ways she talks and writes about non white people.

Which brings me to this morning, and I wake up to y’all dog piling on a black trans person for … saying that the way black trans men are portrayed made them uncomfortable.

Y’all are exhausting.

No, we don’t have to sugar coat our feelings to protect yours. No, we aren’t responsible for your actions and reactions to us. No, we aren’t being “aggressive” or “mean” or “confrontational” when we speak up for ourselves.

I’ve read some comments about disliking the discord profile pic. Okay. I mean, I personally snorted at it when I saw it. But y’know what? Y’all need to ask yourselves why you don’t like it. Is it because a black person is holding a whip? Is it because some white dudes are working the fields?

Here’s a story from the book Medical Bondage: Race, Gender, and the origins of American Gynaecology by Deirdre Cooper Owens.

When white slave owners wanted to punish pregnant black slaves (who were forced to work even when they were heavily pregnant), they would get a slave to dig a hole large enough for the woman’s pregnant stomach, then have the woman lie face down - her stomach in the newly dug hole.

The slave master would then proceed to whip the pregnant woman with the hopes that the unborn baby would feel the mother’s pain and behave better when they born.

Did that upset you? Did it make you disgusted and angry? I felt that way. I was so horrified I had to walk away from the book and calm down.

Black people still feel that generational trauma. We still have to live with the knowledge that is it what was recorded. Who knows what else happened to our enslaved ancestors that never got recorded? We’ll never know. That will always haunt us.

And y’all are upset over a picture that never actually happened.

Stop.

When Kendrick said “they not like us” he was talking about y’all.

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

OP I am new to twisted wonderland but I saw the binding hc post and I uuuuuh have a request if that’s okay. My request is basically like, MC/Yuu who is AFAB and NB or Trans Masc who isn’t out. They get sorted into dorms or something and refuse to wear the uniforms because Tiddies are More Pronounced and that’s not cash gender of them. and they basically get into a fight with the dorm leaders that lead to them coming out while yelling and then just. The dorm leaders are like ???? Well shit that’s fixable why didn’t you say that earlier ??

Trans Yuu

Yuu is a trans dude in the middle of transitioning at the worst place to do it— NRC.

Notes: went in a wild direction lmao. Anyways FTM Yuu. Shitty jokes and cringe.

You are a 2010 Stefani Canturi Barbie and God is a mother going through her kid's toys to donate to the Bratz section at goodwill, you are sure of it. There is no way in hell it was coincidence that you ended up in an all-boys school filled with the stupidest people you met otherwise. Perhaps god just assumed you were both dolls so it doesn’t really matter what toy pile you were put in, and you don’t know if that is the biggest compliment you have received— to be compared to cis dudes— or an insult (these men fucking suck).

With all the running around you had to do the first day, no one was able to sniff you out, yet. Still, it didn't last that long, and it didn’t. Deuce was far too kind and dense to really tell what you were, and Grim was Grim. Ace on the other hand almost seemed to side-eye you at times. You tried to ignore it and pray to the goodwill mom that he doesn’t say anything, and surprisingly he didn’t, you got that stupid gem, celebrated, and went over to your crow overlord (who doesn’t even notice your predicament either) to turn it in and go the fuck home. Perhaps the only break you got was the fact that people here spoke a sort of similar language to you even if it was a bit… strange. Whatever, you can think tomorrow, right now you can make yourself comfortable and finally sleep uninterrupted.

And then that fucker from before came to you at one in the morning, after you have unbound yourself and got comfortable begging for you to let him sleep in your bed, strange collar on his neck. “No, Ace. You can make yourself comfortable on the couch.” You crossed your arms over your chest nervously and thankfully the dumbass didn't notice.  “C’mon, c’mon, I’m super skinny! I won’t take up any space!” Ace pleaded. You and Grim looked at each other tiredly then back at Ace. “No.” You said before sighing and heading upstairs. 

“Awwee!! Cmon!!!” “Cry about it.” You sneered, but as you ascended the steps you notice Ace watching you with that look in his eyes from earlier. He knows doesn’t he…

***

You may not know Trey and Cater well, but you owe them your life. The dumbass trio you were with despite living in this world their whole life could not tell you the most basic shit about it for the life of them. And even worse, despite two of them being selected for this university and one choosing to sneak in with plenty of time to research it beforehand (hell, Ace has a brother who went here), they both decided to go in completely blind and not understand anything at all. 

Thankfully, your dear juniors seemed to take pity on you and actually took time to explain the bare fucking minimum for all four of your sakes. Yet as they explained everything to you in such sweet simplicity, you notice Trey look over to your form that you kept nervously wrapped up in the only oversized overcoat (that all Yuu’s in the manga have) to hide your figure. “Are you alright there Yuu?” He asks and you freeze. 

“Yeah, it's just…” Trey frowned and adjusted his glasses out of concern. “Did Crowley provide any resources for you? It must be difficult being stuck here as a girl and all.” You pause and before you can speak you are interrupted. “YOU’RE WHAT.” The dumbass trio all yelled at once making you, Trey, and Cater all shut your eyes pensively. “Dude! I mean bro— I mean— Ugh!” Ace sputtered, and Deuce looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole and die with how much he was overthinking. Looking over at Trey, the regret on his face was obvious, and you can only assume he thought you told the other three. “You didn’t tell us you're a girl!” Ace yaps.

“I’m not, I’m a guy, I just…” Cater speaks up. “They got the wrong body babes, it's nbd.” The ginger strikes a selfie pose, “That's a thing???” Deuce stared wide-eyed. “Exactly!” You speak up. Trey clears his throat, looking even more ashamed. “Ah, my…. I’m sorry Yuu I didn’t know.” “It’s fine, you didn’t know, plus I guess it was obvious.” At that, the group around you went quiet. 

“Uh no it wasn't ?” Ace crosses his arms. “Have you seen the guys in this school? Some of them straight up look like chicks!” “I thought you knew 'cause you were looking at me weird yesterday!” Ace’s face becomes slightly flustered. “I wasn’t staring—“ Ace stopped his excuse when he saw you and Trey glare. “Okay, fine I was! You happy?” “Why were you staring at them?” Grim asks unimpressed.

Ace gets even more flustered. “It's cause, well you know—“ Cater raises his brows and suppresses a knowing smile and a laugh to the best of his ability as he looks over at you. Ace huffs, “How did you not know Grim? You share a bed with them!” “Haaah? Don't change the subject—“ “Okay that's enough.”

Trey sighs. “Once again, I am very sorry about that Yuu, I thought—“ “It's okay Trey, you didn’t know… But also how did both of you know?” Cater winks, “Oh he’s just like that, babes. Trey-Kun attracts all sorts of fruit to him.” You snort and not how Trey seems to sigh, “Are you one of them?” Cater's eyes widen for a moment before he gives a chuckle. “Good one, but we’ve dealt with enough people in this school to tell by now, though. “So you both just have a gaydar, got it.” “Ooh I like that word, I’ll steal it from ya!” Cater winks again.

“In any case…” Trey adjusts his glasses again. “There's no need to sweat over it. You’ll fit in fine here, Yuu, however, I recommend that you bother Crowley for a spell or potion to get you switched to a new body as soon as possible so this conversation doesn't happen again.” Trey is putting on a brave face to hide his mortification of how he accidentally outed someone. “Crowley can be a real pain sometimes, but he will deliver on that at the very least. Until then you could probably get something from Sam’s for a temporary fix, though they will cost a small fee since they’re home-brewed, or brew your own potion.”

“Oh yeah, you guys have magic here for that stuff… that's crazy…” “Oh yeah, there’s no magic in your world huh Yuu-Kun?” Cater thinks for a moment, “Healthcare here includes that sorta care, but I imagine it’ll be a little difficult to apply for it since you're not from this world and stuff. Kinda hard to do that stuff if you don't exist here, huh?” Cater muses. “Alright, now let's get back to telling them about the dorms Trey!”

“Ah, one more thing, all of you.” Trey’s expression becomes more serious, and gestures to a table where two people— twins with teal hair sit together. “Be careful with Octavinelle students,” he warns, “especially those two. They work for their dorm leader, Azul. They’re scam artists, do not ever make a deal with any of them, especially you, Yuu. Do not tell them what you are.” “Why?” Cater nudges you. “They’ll totally be like ‘We can help you transition Yuu!’ And then your soul is theirs!”

“That’s no different from where I’m from.”

***

Ace and Deuce were a bit weird with you for the next few hours, before Grim got annoyed with them acting overly cautious and insulted them, which in turn made them all have an annoying argument that you got involved in, in which they treated you like one of the bros. You have to make a note to get Grim the world's most premium tuna for that later. 

And when it came time to grab the tuna, you also had to check out Sam’s potion brewery, where you learned that Sam was a real cool dude. He’s a salesman at the end of the day, always looking for a profit, but at least he was fair. He never overpriced things and always knew how to make a good deal. And though you were prepared to drop nearly your whole allowance on a potion Sam seemed to stop you.

“Hey there little imp! Before you pick one of those out, what form are you lookin’ to take?” You look around for a moment, making sure no one was nearby. “I’m looking for a transitioning potion? I wanna be a dude…” You mutter. Anxiety brews in your gut as Sam leans in, keeping eye contact with you. The salesman then bounces back to his feet in an animated and theatrical manner. “Well, we got those iiiiiinnn STOCK! Lucky for you, we have all sorts to choose from!” Sam says before taking out crate after crate.

“Please, pick that one that calls to you.” You look at the vials nervously before pulling one out of the velvet casing they were carefully placed in. The liquid inside has the consistency of a purple, glittery syrup. “That's a great one!” Sam says. “One small issue though.” Oh god here it comes, by picking up the vial you probably should your soul to him and you're gonna be doomed to work here the rest of your life.

“That's gonna be temporary, little imp! Not good for the long term. The Mystery Shop cannot sell permanent potions for these unless you have a prescription, but my little friends from the other side say that you ain’t from these parts.” Sam smiles. “Take 4, on the house! And drink them all at once, that should give you around 4 and half months in that form!” “Really? Are you sure!” Sam nods, “Course! It's not a loss at all either, I get compensated to give em out anyways! Do be sure to tell Crowley to get you a permanent one though! Or it may be quicker to ask that professor of yours!”

“Thank you Mr.Sam! I’ll keep it in mind.”

***

Crowley is an asshole, a real bitch, and one of the most annoying people you know. But at least he can be reasonable once in a blue moon. When bringing up needing a potion he merely went on a 30-minute rant on how he’ll get a prescription for you because he’s “oh so generous” and totally not because he’s probably a fruit too like everyone else in this school. 

You expected this process of getting a prescription to be a very annoying and long wait, just for you to receive the paper later allowing it less than an hour later. Sam did say that asking Professor Crewel for a good potion would be better than asking him since he’s certified to make them. Given how extra he is with everything too, you're sure any potion by him would be insane. So here you were, head down and begging that this man help you, one alphabet soup to another. 

“Let me get this straight. You want me to make you a prescription potion for you, rather than get it from Sam’s because you think I would make a better one.” You nod, and Crewel could tell there wasn't any flattery behind your words, you truly believed what you said. “Sam didn’t put you up to this did he?” “I mean he mentioned you could help but that’s it, why is he plotting something?” “He’s been trying to get me to make him a batch of these for ages, saying that he only wants the highest quality products for his customers.” “Seems like I was right to go to you.”

Crewel almost lets out a sigh, before tapping his whip against his palm. “Fine then pup. I’ll give you a private lesson for potionology because you will be taking notes and helping me as well.” “Really?” “Crowley did say there is no record of you existing anywhere. Consider this the pre-lessons you were supposed to learn in high school.”

After an hour of work, you have successfully created three giant bottles of the stuff Crewel guided you to make, and now in your notes, you have the recipe just in case something happens to them. “Listen here.” Crewel commands and you whip your head to him. “Wait until those four months are up on the serum you are on before taking these. Take only 15 milligrams of each a day until you are all out. This way, it’s permanent and you don't have to worry about someone turning you back so easily.” The professor smiles and taps his baton in his other hand.

“Any questions?” “Why am I on the serum then, sir?” “That one prepares your body for a more permanent change, especially if you show any complications with the magic used.” “Got it, sir, that’s all the questions I have.” “Good, now clean your workspace, and go back to your dorm. I expect you to be fully awake in the morning for class.” “Yes, sir” “And I also expect that you will be more responsive than your peers in class because of this.” “Of course, sir.”

Carefully putting the bottles in your bag, and using your jacket as a cushion for each one you braved your way outside nervously. Sam did say that the vials you took will take a while to take effect since your body isn’t used to magic…

***

The final thing you learned in these past two days was that the misogyny here is very much inclusive, you can't tell if that’s a sign of progress or not. The second you walked out of that door you had your very first instance of bullying (Aside from Ace) since arriving in this world. A few Savanaclaw jocks standing by seemed to immediately look over and snicker.

You stood your ground as they approached, knowing walking away would make it worse and if it got bad Crewel was still in that room. “Tch, you’re the new kid huh?” One said in a very stereotypical stupid school bully way. You’re half surprised they didn’t include some insult like “dweebus” or something. “Hah, bro doesn't even have good pecs, what a fucking girl.” One says. “Never knew they made exceptions for girls!” The other says.

“Uh, yeah, it's gonna take a while for this potion to take effect.” A cat boy scoffs, “What potion.” “The one that’s supposed to make me a boy, it's taking a while.” The group went silent for a moment, the weird wolfman sniffs the air at you for a moment before beckoning his bros to lean in and listen. After a painfully awkward moment, the cat boy leader comes back to lean into your face. “So you are a boy! Big deal! You still don't have pecs!” He says, changing his whole tune. “Yeah well you may be a boy but you're… your…” The fox boy pauses, trying to find a proper insult, just to be interrupted by the wolfman again. “But you fucking suck at being one!”

“YEAH!” All three cheer together as they finally find the right niche to bully you in. Suddenly the door next to you opens. “You three! Silence! Leave them alone, it's curfew! Or do you want me to put you to work?” Crewel reprimands, leaving the three running off with their tails between their legs. “You too Yuu.” And you nod and take it as your sign to leave.

You were gonna have a great time learning how to be a boy

[dykeulous]

"I hold power over you in some ways and you hold power over me in some ways" sounds agreeable between people on the same level of the social hierarchy, but what power do any trans women - non-passing trans women especially - hold over cis women? I can't understand the disconnect between continuing to treat us like we have any of that structural power, or like we're still too dangerous to change clothes next to, without asserting we're essentially men benefiting from the patriarchy exactly as men do. You seem to acknowledge that sometimes people can be mean to us, but you must surely recognize the depth of pain and disempowerment that all trans people are subjected to. I truly understand that cis women do suffer greatly. But when statistics show that trans women are so much more likely to be raped and murdered, does that not show us to be uniquely weak compared to cis women, and more or less equal to trans men? I don't like ranking oppression either, but like, I just can't fathom how I could be the more socially favored next to a cis woman.

trans women face a very unique form of oppression, doubly so if also oppressed on other axes (race, class, ability, etc.), and they have challenges & struggles that cis women do not have to deal with. however, the reverse is also true. trans women, especially black trans women, are at high risks of prostitution, rape, economic abuse & homelessness, but using this statistic to declare that trans women are somehow more oppressed, or that their oppression somehow matters more than female-specific misogyny, is insensitive to the core. female socialization teaches & indoctrinates female people (so, both cis women & transmascs) into being meek & quiet, and so many rape & abuse cases go unreported because of this & many other factors– oftentimes, cis women are raped by their family members & relatives, which can also make things harder for speaking out about the abuse. male people will have to listen to us when we speak of this, and even trans women will have to step up & listen this time. you are not exempt from criticism, and if we can listen to your insights & experiences, you can do the same for us, even out of basic human respect & courtesy, if not out of genuine interest for learning.

trans women do have legitimate power over cis women (& i’m not saying this as a blank statement), even more so if the trans woman is non-passing, actually. oppression is not based on identity, and while i understand that a non-passing trans woman has an inner battle she has to deal with that cis women generally do not, as well as that she still faces unique struggles cis women do not– claiming that she’s somehow “more oppressed” & wields no systemic power over a cis woman whatsoever is just nebulous. we must take in & analyze all of our differing life experiences, and not jump to attack at the mere acknowledgment of male privilege and sex-based oppression. a non-passing trans woman isn’t being hatecrimed nor oppressed if a cis woman feels uncomfortable & unsafe in her presence, especially in female-only spaces. this is another way trans women can have more power over cis women; they treat female-only spaces as validation, while cis women are basically trapped in those spaces– either out of safety, fear, or sexism (as there definitely are female-only spaces that women are pushed/forced into). a large reason as to why female-only spaces even exist in the first place is because of sexism, and we cannot solve that by absolving female-only spaces & letting everyone in based on identity (which would just result in allowing cis men in anyway, and ultimately stop considering identity at all) while still not absolving misogyny.

we cannot get rid of female-only spaces before getting rid of misogyny. cis women being afraid of non-passing trans women isn’t cis women being secretly bigoted, it’s them being rightfully afraid of male people; and if you truly want to prove that you’re safe, you will have to not only identify as a woman, but also with women. anyone with a fully functional penis has the ability to harm a cis woman via exploiting this specific organ (obviously not only cis women– but also transmascs, transfems & cis men, i’m not trying to imply that only cis women or female people face sexual assault, i’m only going with this since i’m answering to this particular ask– but then again, cis women & female people are the only ones capable of being impregnated, so add on another fear & female-specific oppression). i’m not trying to say that male people are evil or that penises are evil or radioactive or whatever– penises aren’t made to do evil, and people with penises aren’t evil for having penises; those who do harm with them are evil, and cis women (or anyone really) aren’t being bigoted when they point out their valid & justified fear of penises. this doesn’t serve to fearmonger about trans women, and i absolutely understand that there are genuinely transphobic cis women out there who use this to try & further the falsified & transphobic belief how trans women are somehow more dangerous than cis men, or how trans women are predatory sexual abusers. the existence of such cis women, however, doesn’t negate the reality that cis women do have the right to be scared of the male population, and the reality that trans women do have & yield systemic privilege & power over cis women.

trans women can have power over cis women based on the types of female-specific oppression cis women face, that trans women do not; such as religious misogyny (trans women do face religious transphobia), medical misogyny (trans women do face medical transphobia & medical transmisogyny) & cultural misogyny. non-passing trans women don’t face social misogyny, neither, while still however being able of facing economic transmisogyny/economic homophobia & transphobia. trans women, passing or not, never had to experience the [childhood] trauma of female puberty (so, not talking about hormone reassignment therapy here), period stigma, and fear that comes with growing up with a female body/being told “you’re growing up now! you’re no longer a girl you’re a woman now!”, etc. i understand the agony of feeling like you’re trapped in the wrong body, of being severely dysphoric & in pain, as i’m trans myself, and i believe that trans women here can offer a perspective of their own specific childhood trauma connected with puberty– however this shouldn’t be done in a way that will disconnect & discourage cis women & female people from talking about their own experiences. we cannot all relate to each other all of the time. sometimes we just have to sit down and listen.

male privilege is real, and while not all trans women have it (and those who do have it in varying forms, sizes & levels), they still shouldn’t feel attacked when the topic of male socialization/male privilege/systemic power is brought up. i’ll go back to my original statement– i hold power over you in some ways, and you hold power over me in some ways. this makes sense when applied to trans women & cis women, as well.

[radfemnotfemme]

been learning about radical feminism in the past year and i have completely reevaluated my beliefs about gender ideology. now im just so stuck on the idea of, how can identifying as another gender not be fundamentally regressive, sexist, and upholding gender norms? how can men just identify out of oppression? but now idk what to do holding these beliefs because truly all my friends would have serious issues with me if i were ever to voice this. in fact, i have close friends who are trans, and there are many trans people in my wider social circle (one of whom specifically made me so uncomfortable in a "female" space that it contributed to me unlearning my previous beliefs abt gender ideology). i attend a super liberal university where in a recent english class my professor even made a comment about jk rowling being an evil terf now.

i feel like i'm walking around with a dirty secret. i feel like i can't discuss these ideas with anyone irl, not even my girlfriend. it would fundamentally change her view of me as she as an incredibly vocal trans ally. i could see her breaking up with me for these beliefs; i could see many friends distancing themselves from me. i'm just wondering how you navigate a social world like this with radfem beliefs ahhhh

i feel you on the “dirty secret” aspect! i can try to give some advice since i’m in a very similar situation (minus the fact i live in a conservative area.)

due to my appearance (i’m visibly gay) i usually only attract TRA & ‘queer’ types to me. my friends are all TRA or some variant of “genderqueer.” i only have one friend ive been able to confide my beliefs to, and she’s more a closet conservative type so we really only agree on trans issues. I will say, if you can find even one person that you can speak freely with it’ll be a huge weight off your chest. Whenever I see this one friend we both just ramble because we can finally talk about shit that we can’t comfortably talk about with anyone else.

the way i’ve gone about managing my friendships with TRAs is to simply never bring up trans (or controversial radfem) topics. i avoid it like the plague, will change topic, and if directly questioned on something i will play the dumb and innocent role, aka just pretending to not understand but intend as coming from a good place. you should evaluate which of your friendships putting up this facade will be worth it, because it gets exhausting fast. i have some trans friends, but they’re all the “genderfluid/nonbinary AFAB who goes by any pronouns” type who present extremely feminine at all times, never even push the boundaries of gender expression honestly which is funny. (literally theyfabs lol) They dont care that i always use she/her and they honestly never bring up gender stuff with me. these type of girls aren’t too bad to be around as i feel they’re not as far gone as some TIPs are who actually take the steps to transition, etc. Being around a hardcore TIF or TIM might be a more difficult friendship to maintain.

Regarding your significant other, you should consider if this is a breaking point in your relationship. For me it’s not since my gf was generally uninformed about trans issues like the dangers of males in womens prisons, unfairness in sports, why oppressed is sex based and not gender based, etc. We’ve had discussions about this, where i explained my reasoning for being against these issues & she actually ended up agreeing after I showed her the facts. She’s still ‘pro-trans’ but is much more reasonable about it & thinks majority trans people just wanna live their life (which who can argue with that!) If this type of open conversation isn’t something you think could be achievable with your gf, you guys might just not be compatible.

It sounds like you live in a very liberal area & so my advice to you would be to see if there’s any radical feminist organizations near you. I think finding other people who think the same as you will help you feel less guilty. It’ll probably be hard since most radfems are secretive about their beliefs (for obvious reasons lol) but i’m sure you’ll find someone eventually.

[foropinionssake]

i have a question for you, and i’m genuinely curious.

do you think womanhood should be defined by the ability to reproduce/have children rather than by living within the social role of womanhood, such as wanting to be called “she?” and for women who can’t reproduce, or who have had a hysterectomy, etc. are they still women? what about people who, in every way, have happily inhabited the role of being a man and even you would call them “he” if you didn’t know they were trans, but they could still technically give birth. is someone living fully as a man actually a woman because of one thing that their body could potentially do? is someone living fully and happily as a woman not a woman because of one thing their body cannot do?

i think these questions are good to think about, because it is just a fact that many trans women get called “woman” and “she” by strangers without a second thought, and they respond to that term and feel happy and comforted by it. throughout the whole interaction, there is no claim made about what genitals, dna, or birth-capabilities they have. you have probably had countless conversations like this too, where you were called “she” without having claimed anything about your body or anyone needing to verify. this is because the word “she” is not being used to refer to genitals etc, it is just being used to indicate that you look and act in ways that make you read to others as a woman. that is, most often, the truth being recognized.

with that in mind, it’s easier to see that, when a trans woman asks to be called she, the truth being told is “i like to be called she and seen as a woman,” not “i was born female and have the capacity to give birth and have xx chromosomes.” i have many close and dear trans friends, and none of them actually deny or disbelieve their own biology. in fact, they are painfully aware of their biology. they acknowledge the truth that certain hormones and surgeries can change some things about their body and not others, thus making it easier for them to integrate into the social role that feels natural for them. i have never heard a trans woman claim that hormones or surgery can let them give birth. all of my trans friends, are fully cognizant of the reality of their biology and the limited capacity of science.

what i see is you falling into a strawman argument, assuming that trans people believe false things about their bodies, like trans women claiming they can give birth or have xx chromosomes

it made me realize that maybe you hear the word woman and you think “birth giver, child bearer” rather than “full human person who’s body is none of my business and who chooses to inhabit the social role of womanhood.” i don’t blame you, because our patriarchal society has taught us that the former is all women are for. but as women, there are so many sexist messages we are taught that we have to unlearn. i mean, think of your own experience. wouldn’t you rather have other people see you as a whole person who has connection to womanhood, rather than just a source for babies? isn’t it more affirming to have people see your womanhood as the complex way you purposely and naturally step into the world and show up each day, rather than just a medical category that was thrust upon you at birth by a patriarchal medical system that wanted to determine who you would be? because i know what i prefer. and, in my experience, that is all trans women are asking.

anyway, i am just sending this out of curiosity, so lmk your thoughts. maybe we can have a conversation, but i won’t engage with hostility. i hope you’re having a nice day :)

Women are adult females. Men are adult males. The ability to have children has nothing to do with making someone male or female besides the fact that males biologically cannot get pregnant and birth babies. I am a woman and I’m choosing not to have children, that doesn’t make me less of a woman. The entire issue here is people are mistaking gender roles with gender. You can change your gender roles. You cannot change your gender itself. You are born with it.

[kosmicdream]

Please don’t think of me as a male artist.

..is what i used to feel, for many years, even when I finally came out as trans. In a way, its one of the factors that kept me from pursuing HRT (which im so glad i finally did.) After only one year, my feeling on this hasn’t evaporated completely but i suppose I kind of don’t care anymore about how I am interpreted, as a person/artist, ect.. It isn’t something i can be in control of anyway, which upsets me less than it used to.

Sometimes in the past, the way i write characters has often been analyzed by the gender I am, or appear to be - that my male characters were written like how a woman writes men (too emotional/vulnerable, ect) , or how my female characters are written thoughtlessly- like how a man would. (too horny, stupid, violent, ect.) Its not a new way to analyze a story but I can’t say that it doesn’t annoy me. It could still be true that my characters/writing could fall into sexist/problematic archetypes, but gendering my work based on the way my characters act always reminds me of the “you draw like a girl/boy” comments, which used to be more frequent when i was a teen.. But the idea that boys = angular, good at cars! Or something and girls are, i dunno, gonna draw sexy anime men or something. Even as a teenager, i hated this idea that my art was “girl art.” Truthfully, i always viewed my art and myself as an artist as genderfluid, maybe even a type of drag performance, where i can explore any gender and not be limited by my body, it was my escape from that. Which naturally, it became my place to explore gender presentation and eventually helped me “crack my egg” of realizing i was a trans man.

I do think its important to reflect or regard my work as the art made by a trans man, or transmasculine person. I feel more and more just like “just a dude” these days. I am also a gay man. I think those things are important to my work. I think that the analysis of my work in regards to my identity as a person is important to reflect on. I also think the steps I took to get there were important, that transformation and my continued exploration of my older selves and more “label-less” self in the art i make. That’s a private space for me, that I happen to share with the world too. I feel the audience is part of my work too, I welcome it even. I have become part of the audience too and I look at my work as if I’m also a stranger. The older my work gets, the more of it I can study, the more I can see plainly how I got here and also it feels so confusing how it did. I try to study my art to help me find where I want to go to next, a map to guide me. 

In some ways, I feel more lost than I did before, where all my instinct was pushing me was just to grow and explore as much as possible. Now, I don’t have that same type of energy that I used to. Its not a bad thing, its just different. There’s a sense of duty and commitment and a sense of dread of the time it takes to do what I feel compelled to do on this step of my journey. I am trying to focus more on the things I used to think I was incapable of before and I’m trying to remember the things I used to think were so effortless. I can tell my art is sharper but it feels almost like a mimicry of my older selves - at least when I revisit old work to continue its journey past where its been frozen in time. Comics take a long time, after all, it's normal that after a few years - a story might be yours, but it feels like it belongs to the past of you too, maybe more than it does in the present. I like the commitment I have to my comics though, its not a burden to me. The feeling is strange anyway. 

I tend to think that 1-3 years of a project being made, those are the honeymoon years of the relationship. But you hit a wall in 4-5 years and sometimes you’re in denial about it, you try to keep the dreams and feeling alive as you drag it forward, and sometimes the project really reaches its end around 8-10 years and it becomes a type of empty promise to return to it. Not that this is true for every artist, every project, ect. But I think its a natural lifespan for comics that I’ve observed, and it's because it is uncomfortable to face morality and the morality of our own art. Art is this escape, and when it becomes a job - or an uncomfortable mirror into these things about ourselves, about our failures and promises we couldn’t manage to make, the pressures of the audience, the boredom of the task if you have already told yourself the story a thousand times and you have no longer a desire to continue it, ect - its a normal and natural feeling to want to drop it off a cliff. Blow it up, start over fresh - I know the feeling! Its happened many times. But its kind of temporary? Then, it cycles back to nostalgia - and the desire to create and recreate and reform the past to something tangible again.. uh

Sorry, sorry.. I am getting far from the point I started with. Not that any of this makes too much sense, I feel like writing it anyway. It bothers me that the fantasy of art to me, is the ability to dissolve yourself and stop existing, you are the creator creating. You don’t need to be confined by, really anything. It is in “your control” now, and you surrender your own control by falling into the art and letting it “lead you” places. This is a very seductive process and while it might temporarily be fulfilling (even when done for a lifetime) cannot really.. What.. completely fill the void of whatever you’re chasing down there? Its nice though. At least, when I think about when i first started drawing comics, it was to draw Vash the Stampede (from the original 98 anime series, i hate the new one. We’re not talking about there here) coming out of my television after a thunderstorm and he had to just live in my house now. It was the closest thing I could do to actually manifesting that as reality, of making this amazing anime husband come to life to just like live with me now and be my boyfriend. In a lot of ways I don’t see my pursuit of writing ocs, specifically male ones, really much different from this same desire of like “i can just make my perfect boyfriend!” born out of the loneliness I felt in my heart, and the fear that there is no boyfriend out there for me so i need to frankenstein my own - and this boyfriend will be poifect in every way. Or like, crafting the perfect “relationship” in replace the lack of one, or just the fantasy of watching very abstract extremes come to life in various puppets i crafted, beating the shit out of each other for entertainment. But to subject all these.. Abstract Internal conflicts as simply like a “boy author thing” or “girl author thing” is like.. Tiring. Are we really not past that? (Of course not.) 

Like there’s some hidden truth to the way someone might write/draw, the way that “makes sense” in retrospect once the identity of the author is analyzed and discovered.. How can you make sense of the self, let alone the other .. and In a way that’s permanent? And gendered? Does art now have an inherent sex characteristic? But I cannot deny that I do want my art to look and feel like part of who I am, what I have chosen to sexually identify as - a transgender, a man, a faggot. I DO identify as a sexual deviant, but that is hilarious because I have been single for so long at this point I can’t even remember in a tangible way what that felt like and I question if I ever felt it or experienced it “for realsies” because of the experiences I have had or havent didn’t feel very fulfilling or romantic, despite that being something I desire so much - and so I feel like a failure. And to create art just based on the fantasy of desire rather than the lived reality, can it even really display what that would actually be like. So its embarrassing, right? 

I have worked on my art a lot and I have often thought, or come to the conclusion (true or not) that my singleness is the result of my pursuit and dedication to art - which is the pursuit of self isolation and protection from harm. From influence, from acknowledging that life can exist and someday end. And when you work on projects for years and years, the pride/shame dichotomy only gets more.. Weird. It gets weird, guys! It always was weird, but.. I just think about so many my heroes, my art inspirations, working decades on their art.. I follow in their footsteps too and it feels scarier and lonelier than I expected it to be. And the more and more I realized that as a reality, as my 20s faded away, the more I kept walking. I wasn’t gonna stop now, even if I could, I don’t want to and its not hard to do other things too. I have a slower pace than I used to (thank god) and gets slower but I’m still moving. 

I don’t post or write my little art journals as much as I used to. Mostly cause I don’t really have anything good to say and it kinda feels embarrassing to post them too LOL. But.. whatever!! Its been a weird four months of me being off work and I’m about to go back to being a normal working person again.. But its like, its weird to tell people about your art when they ask about what you do. Its like “oh yeah, i draw webcomics” and they wont get it, you’ll say - “yeah its 8,000 pages long” and they’ll say, “thats a lot!” and it is. They’re very nice about it, but there’s a lack of satisfaction there with what that means. I don’t expect it, that’d be dumb as hell. Its nice to take a break from it too, to discover other sides of myself I never let shine because i stayed indoors for a decade, but its a weird feeling too. Like, what will it mean in the end? I don’t really know. 

I don’t think I need “success” to feel like this was worth it, its not like a trophy is gonna come in the mail for the good workTM I’ve done - there is no closure to the work I make even when a story finishes. I have to keep going regardless of that, and its strange to know it won’t ever feel done. But I am so thirsty for that temporary itch to be scratched, it keeps me working every day for the “maybe” of what that might feel like. Kinda silly, really. Is it my “male” pride that demands recognition? Would respect be given more freely if I had “remained” to be perceived as a woman, for subverting the expectations for what a woman can/can’t write? (lol) Is my value as a person determined by that sort of thing in my art? I don’t think of my pride as gendered, but I know its there and I know because of who I say I am, my pride will be gendered by others. I think when I was a woman, that pissed me off more than now because.. Well.. I wasn’t even living as the way i wanted to. I still don’t really live as the way I want to, the way I want to be perceived, but even being on HRT for a little more than 1 year, without much else lifestyle changes, I feel a little more at peace not mattering what others will take away from me or what i write about. I have a lot of my own expectations for myself and what i write about and that concerns me far more. 

I don’t really know how else to end this, I’m going to eat chocolate now. Oh, to answer your question (?) if you might have this one: can I think of you as a male artist, kosmic? sure. I am one after all.

[whomstwedointheshadows]

I am howling at the sky for the look tonight that Harvey Guillén staked to death, spat on, and made it beg on the red carpet. Instead of just ranting to my queer fashion/fandom retail friends again, I took our collective slobber and tears to outline my plea to the fashion gods.

Why doesn’t this man have a ‘mens’wear line in every American mall? There is a gap in the market for adventurous, queer friendly suiting available through a retailer like Macys/J C Penney. Yes, retail is dying and wedding industry more so, but that’s particular to what’s available for consumers as well. Suiting is turned from off the rack into iconic by proper tailoring, but let me tell you from working all sides of the bridal salon, even up-scale clothing lines are getting rude as hell about quality and assembly to prevent tailoring and longevity.

This kid’s Disney charm would be perfect for introducing a plus size, inclusive line of fashion-forward pieces which include, say a QR code video about taking your own measurements, how adjustments work, with pieces designed to be sleek, with enough allowance for tailoring, and minding the lines in the garment to make the adjustments for plus size bodies easier. It’s no more adjustments than are made on straight size bodies, it’s just straight size bodies have more options to find a line which works with their natural shape.

But in my experience, it’s gender non-conforming folks and plus sized folks who get pushed out of finding pieces they can actually use for celebrations or work, much less pieces with actual personality that spark joy. This man has been killing it for years, really getting some clutch looks for events and invites in the fashion world. He’s showing proof of concept every time he steps in front of a camera.

Watching Harvey’s fashion evolution, I trust his fashion team and judgement to create a mid/high line for workwear to events suiting embracing a gender nonconforming audience. I can’t think of anyone better situated to become the ambassador of a brand with *the* formal wear for queer events and special occasions. I was tickled to see he sells his own merch and hope this experience convinces him of the joy working with artists and connecting their visions to a wanting public, dipping toes into the new ethical, sustainable trends in fashion. His looks alone shows he’s done his homework over the years about timelessness and early adopting trends.

For the years I worked selling/tailoring wedding dresses, there was the prophetic ‘someday… along will come the man who revives men’s fashion for events again’ to save the David’s bridal/men’s wear house lines who keep dropping plus sizes like mine and dying off. As the pet butch in the bridal salon I pleaded to the sky for better suiting options. Add that to my butch lezzy ways and trans masc circle of friends I legit spent this past Friday night drunk in a bar with a seam ripper adjusting jackets and darting pants in an unplanned sewing circle for a bachelorette until it was my round of karaoke. This isn’t the first time I’ve spontaneously started tailoring for the queers, I can’t keep up with the demand! Y’all we are in our twenties to mid thirties there should be better options than this that don’t require a vacation to LA/NY!!

I have ethical, sustainable fashion preferences about slipping in a retailer versus an online brand. But for the vision of accessible clothing to the masses pushing the envelope of the kind of quality only vintage pieces are affording the general public, this is the only celebrity really posed with the image, high energy, and bona fides to be the face of it. His connections in the fashion game are only growing as WWDITS wraps up.

If this man opened a pop-up suiting/fashion shop I’d take my limited time and resources to really dig in to the designers he promoted. I’d be howling in the streets for my celebrants to go get a Gullién. There’s no shortage online pattern makers, but there is a shortage of queer friendly shops to really get pieces that pop and it feels safe to enjoy in a retail environment. For average people wanting to engage with fashion that affirms their identity on their special day, there’s too much fucking compromise. Honestly it’s nice that I have a side hustle sewing to pattern, but I’d give it up in a fucking heartbeat for there to be actually sustainable and approachable options. I wish there was an in between of being ‘affordable’ gnc suiting in an American mall but add plus size availability and it gets sad for your most thrifty, creative friends. Someone needs the step in the gap, and why not someone at the top of the game?

Even if it was just a pop up line every few years, I’d fucking salivate over every image in that catalogue two thousand miles away for what it can teach home sewists just by virtue of curating those artisans with the express goal of queer, fat friendly designs playing together. Just the existence of vintage shops like Proud Mary creates a boom across the inter-webs of new sewists per post. Could anyone really imagine if there were actually accessible stores in key cities/supported by an online catalog with a personable, rising star as the brand face?

Please feed us more fashion, Harvey. Keep those stylists and designer friends close. Please. I cannot stress how many mascs/nb-bebes keep dropping your name every fitting consultation across this nation and it’s for good reason.

[nerdygaymormon]

Favorite LGBTQ movie and TV quotes

“Um, I do drink red wine, but I also drink white wine. And I’ve been known to sample the occasional rosé. And a couple summers back, I tried a Merlot that used to be a Chardonnay, which got a bit complicated… I like the wine and not the label. Does that make sense?”

— David Rose, Schitt’s Creek, Season 1, Episode 10

“That felt so good to say. I feel like I just solved an escape room I’ve been trapped in my entire life.”

— Fabiola Torres, Never Have I Ever, Season 1, Episode 5

“Look, I’ll be hurt either way. Isn’t it better to be who I am?”

— Eric Effiong, Sex Education, Season 1, Episode 7

“Everybody’s story is different. There’s your version, and my version, and everything in between. But the one thing that all of those stories have in common is that moment right before you say those words when your heart is racing, and you don’t know what’s coming next. That moment’s really terrifying. And then once you say those words, you can’t unsay them. A chapter has ended, and a new one’s begun, and you have to be ready for that.”

— John, Happiest Season

“The good thing about being different is that no one expects you to be like them”

— Ellie Chu, The Half Of It

"When I'm with Brittany, I finally understand what people are talking about when they talk about love. I've tried so hard to push this feeling away, and keep it locked inside, but every day just feels like a war. I walk around so mad at the world, but I'm really just fighting with myself. I don't want to fight anymore. I'm just too tired. I have to just be me."

— Santana Lopez, Glee, Season 3, Episode 7

“Now, there is a long and honorable tradition in the gay community, and it has stood us in good stead for a very long time. When somebody calls you a name…you take it and own it.”

— Mark Ashton, Pride

“So I'm bisexual. So what? It's LGBTQ for a reason. There's a B in there and it doesn't mean Badass. Okay, it does, but it also means Bi.”

— Callie Torres, Grey's Anatomy, Episode 1105

“We’re standing here in Philadelphia, the, uh, City of Brotherly Love, the birthplace of freedom where the, uh, founding fathers authored the Declaration of Independence, and I don’t recall that glorious document saying anything about all straight men are created equal. I believe it says all men are created equal.”

— Joe Miller, Philadelphia

"Yes, I wear foundation. Yes, I live with a man. Yes, I'm a middle- aged fag. But I know who I am, Val. It took me twenty years to get here, and I'm not gonna let some idiot senator destroy that. F*** the senator, I don't give a damn what he thinks."

— Armand Goldman, The Birdcage

"Being gay is your thing. There are parts of it you have to go through alone. I hate that. As soon as you came out, you said, "Mom, I'm still me." I need you to hear this: You are still you, Simon. You are still the same son who I love to tease and who your father depends on for just about everything. And you're the same brother who always complements his sister on her food, even when it sucks. You get to exhale now, Simon. You get to be more you than you have been in... in a very long time. You deserve everything you want."

— Emily Spier, Love, Simon

"The greatest gift we can give each other is our authentic selves and sharing that. Sharing our truth is what will make us strong. So here I am. I am both human and alien. And I am a trans woman."

— Kara Danvers, Supergirl, Season 4, Episode 19

"But I feel more when I look at a picture of Kristen Stewart than I do when I kiss him."

— Elena Alvarez, One Day at a Time,

"You can’t change it. You can’t fix me. Because I’m not broken, I don’t need to be fixed, OK? I’m me!"

— Ian Gallagher, Shameless, Season 5, Episode 12

"Becoming me was the greatest creative project of my life."

Eliot Waugh, The Magicians, Season 1, Episode 1

"Every time someone steps up and says who they are, the world becomes a better, more interesting place. So, thank you."

—Raymond Holt, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Season 5, Episode 10

"I might be…bisexual, and you guys know I hate labels, but this one feels important right now to own the space I’m in and to make sense of it."

—Kat Edison, The Bold Type

[author-by-night]

I watched a movie from 1982: The Last Unicorn. In it, the titular unicorn sets out on an adventure of her own making essentially to breathe life into the dying embers of the world she knows. I watched as she met every challenge she faced with poise and dignity. I watched as her drive and inner spirit moved the plot forward. I watched as the power, influence, and selfish desires of bumbling men complicated her journey, reshaped her body, and stamped trauma onto her mind that she would carry forever. I watched as she was bested in every contest of might until the final act, and as the movie laid out in its text that such things were not in her lane. That was what heroes do, it said, and in my head all I could hear was “men’s work.” I watched as the unicorn’s love for a man changed her until she could fight in the way parceled out for men and become something more than she had started, transcending an immortal stagnancy to evolve into something singular and lonely. I saw that her ability to contribute to the narrative hinged on her love and her capacity to persevere, but more fundamentally to suffer. I understood that this was what the movie saw to be women’s power, and that sat ill with me, but the unicorn’s journey remained so inspiring that she and the movie stuck with me for good. The rest rolled off my shoulders, cause… I mean it was an 80s movie based on a book from the late 60s. I applied the phrase “for its time” like a lotion, took what resonated, and moved on…

I watched a movie from 1999: The Matrix. In it, a man (though I would later see the trans allegory) walks through the steps of waking up to the cultural bindings that trap him and in the end transcends them. I watched as every step of his journey was enabled by the support of the character who was, by several orders of magnitude, the coolest woman I’d ever seen: Trinity. I went starry-eyed, not realizing my appreciation extended to wanting to be her. She was everything: cool, witty, strong, tough, determined, stylish, and gorgeous to boot. On first watch I marveled uncritically. By my half dozenth watch it hit me that everything she did amounted to getting the leading man where he needed to be. I realized that as a narrative device she existed not to change a world in need of changing but to back Neo’s play so that he could swan in and finish the fight she’d been fighting all her life. Her love, her strength, her labor: all a great big alley-oop. I cringed, but I told myself that at least she had power and agency. That mattered. So I rewatched it about another thousand times, took what resonated, and moved on.

I watched a movie from 2003: Pirates of the Caribbean - Curse of the Black Pearl. In it, though this isn’t the point by half, a woman as obsessed with pirates as I’ve always been gets to live out her swashbuckling fantasies. I watched as she lived by her wits, eyes rolling at every dunce of a man to get in her way. I watched as she scrapped her way through with resourcefulness and hijinks, but only actually accomplished her goals when leveraging a privileged station based solely on her value to men. All her efforts fell flat: she’d flee swiftly and still get kidnapped, deal shrewdly but right into the bad guy’s hands, recapture the Black Pearl so sneakily and deftly only for her allies to immediately sail away with it. I watched all the men around her win on their own merits: Jack Sparrow through his canny and luck, Will Turner through his swordsmanship, Barbossa through ruthless overwhelming power. The message read all too clear to me: Elizabeth Swann was meant to be fun, I was not only allowed but encouraged to like her, but I could only experience her in a narrative written by men where the world was stacked against her. A world written by men couldn’t let her win outside of borrowing their power. The force of it hit me like a brick across the eyes. I wanted to love the daring and suave Miss Swann even as what she meant left me seething. I watched the sequels and in some ways it appeared to get better, but only on the surface. She got in sword fights and won, but that was never really who she was, was it? She became a pirate queen… but only through the aid of Jack Sparrow and only to suit his plans. She could not win and remain herself, and for everything that she could have accomplished what the narrative chose to focus on was her as Will Turner’s consolation prize for being stuck at the helm of the Dutchman. I gritted my teeth, got called a misogynist every time I wasn’t sufficiently enthusiastic about Elizabeth Swann, resolved to take what resonated from fanfic, and moved on.

I watched a movie from 2015: Mad Max - Fury Road. In it, and this is almost entirely the point, a tough-as-nails road warrior leads a fierce battle for the freedom of women from the clutches of a powerful man. I watched as Mad Max also participated, because it was not his story, and the movie only kind of pretended it was. I watched Furiosa be everything I wanted to see in a strong woman. I watched the story happen on her terms, through her plans, moving forward under her power and through her agency. I watched her be celebrated as the hero of the narrative, both in-world and by the fans. I watched the women she worked to save take an active role, take the movie by storm, and be vindicated time and again. I sat thinking about that movie for days after I watched it, went to see it twice in theaters, got the blu ray as soon as I could find it. The one thing I could never quite shake was why it had to be Mad Max’s name on the title card. But of course it did, right? That’s the industry, for you. An established IP name puts butts in seats. Appealing to men with the plausible deniability that maybe it was Max’s story sidesteps a boycott from the patriarchy. There are pragmatic reasons, ones that make sense. Though I still wished it could have been a story advertised and told without the intrusion of Max, there was still so much good and seeing a blockbuster movie of that magnitude with a narrative driven so completely by women felt like progress. So I took what resonated, and so much did, and moved on.

I watched a movie called Alien. In it, a space trucker struggles to survive an encounter with a horrible monster in space. I watched as men in authority and corporate interests screw her over at every turn. I watched as she made all the right moves against an implacable foe and survived against incalculable odds because she was strong, smart, and capable. I noted that the advertising didn’t even make a big deal out of her, they just told the story they wanted to tell. I read deeper, finding interview material confirming that gender commentary was at the forefront of the creative team’s minds. I looked up the date of release for this post… and found that it was 1979. The earliest of all the movies I wanted to reference, and by my measure the most progressive. A knot forms in my throat as I wonder what that means about progress, and I hopefully chalk it up to a fluke. A movie far ahead of its time. Cinema’s ability and willingness to tell women’s stories mist still be moving forward, I tell myself, and I move on.

(From here on, there be relevant spoilers.)

I watch a movie from 2024: War of the Rohirrim. In it, a princess of Rohan survives an attempted coup and saves the kingdom. I watch the trailer so many times over, and as it centers itself on the lost shieldmaidens of Rohan in all its iterations—even casting Miranda Otto to narrate as Eowyn—my optimism and nervousness increase in equal measure. I watch as the princess is introduced as an adventure-loving free spirit, and hope we will see her shine. Then I watch her barely impact the narrative for nearly half the movie’s runtime. There are good moments. She takes down a rabid oliphaunt by being a fast rider unafraid to put herself in danger. She rescues the common folk of Edoras by going rogue and choosing the right moment to evacuate them. Towards the end of the movie when she’s finally put in charge her ingenuity and prowess lead to her ending the conflict barely losing a single soul under her protection. But for every one of these, I watch the movie cut what inherent feminism there might be off at the knees. I watch it open on an argument over arranged marriage and on the king ignoring the princess’ every word because… of course it does. I watch the princess sob before or after nearly every major plot point. I watch all of her strength and savvy melt into paralyzed uselessness any time a man attacks her in a way reminiscent of sexual assault. I watch her endanger her subjects by showing mercy multiple times over to a man who has spent the movie oathbreaking and betraying. I watch the narrative unravel into near nonsense around her until the hand of the author is so apparent that it’s tough to tell what can be credited to her actions and what just… happens. It reminds me of every flaw that’s ever bothered me in movies featuring strong women throughout my life. I struggle to find anything that resonates because it feels like an echo, like the kind of movie we should be well past by now, and I’m tired of waiting and hoping for this caliber of gender ideology to become dinosaur thinking.

War of the Rohirrim isn’t a bad movie. It’s thoroughly middling by way of a mixed experience: some epic moments, some eye rollers, and a lot of dial tone in between. I could tolerate that more if it didn’t still carry the misogynist baggage of movies 40 years its senior. Part of why I’m upset with it is likely that I dared to hope it would be something more than it was. If you go in with no expectations other than to see pretty anime you might like it. But the audience it advertises to are those who would see a movie centering on a strong woman and those who enjoy Lord of the Rings fiction, and I feel it falls short for both target audiences. Which leaves the question… who is it even for?

Going forward I’m going to hold Amalthea, Trinity, Furiosa, some fanfic version of what Elizabeth Swann might have been, and the incomparable Ellen Ripley close to my heart and in my pantheon of fictional feminine all timers. I’ll treasure every addition that list, and do my best to put out my own media where women can shine like a wish into the world. But more than anything I long for a future where young women can carry around not a list of shining exceptions in a world of mens’ media, but standouts in a world where fiction that really values women is the norm.

[sterekmpreg]

Did Stiles have to hide during his pregnancy or his one of those dudes who can get pregnant?

p.s: what was toddler eli like?

I have such mixed feelings on that topic…. Like if you headcanon Stiles as Trans (FTM) then I guess he wouldn’t have too. But me personally, I’d say yes, Stiles had to hide his pregnancy from everyone outside of the supernatural world. His pregnancy only being possible really through being Derek’s mate and the strong magical power that has tied it’s self to Stiles through out the years of just being a human in a werewolf pack… but I have headcanons for both but mostly magical werewolf pregnancy that has to hidden.

Magical Pregnancy:

1.) Seeing as men getting pregnant isn’t ‘normal’, Stiles has to take a break in his college years in order to hide his pregnancy. They say it was a family health emergency to the school, his Dad was having a hard time with his heart again. And with the sheriffs history, it’s not a long shot for many to believe when they ask why Stiles wasn’t back off at college when he’d just started.

2.) Stiles has to steal some of Derek’s clothes are baggy in him around the fourth to sixth months as his tummy really begins to be way to obvious under his own clothings. Sweat pants and sweater or just over sized tees was Stiles usual look to the public in that time frame. And although, yes, Stiles is having a hard time handling his depression and anxiety with his medication dose changed and it’s effect be visibly seen on Stiles physically, when people start speculating that Stiles had dropped out of college and became a depressed pot head his dad and Derek basically went Feral. Shutting down anyone, mostly other moms, who give Stiles judgmental glares or rush their own kids away from Stiles when they’d pass them in the stores or streets, because really that was just un-fucking-fair and, “what, you’ve never seen someone struggle with their mental health? You’ve really been that privileged? Then maybe you should just mind you’re own fucking business, Bitch!”

3.) Derek is quick to get a home out in the sticks of Beacon Hills before Stiles pregnancy gets past the sixth month. He’d been working for his father-in-law at the police station anyways and had quite a lot of money between that and the money he’d had left from the Hale family funds that hadn’t been stolen or burned. The house is perfect, kinda reminds everyone of the Hale house before it’s destruction. It’s big, and spacious, but just in the right ways to make it homey and comfortable. At least all the way out here Derek could get Stiles outside later in the pregnancy for walks or to get some sun and fresh air without the judgmental eyes of the neighborhood.

4.) Deaton, Melissa, Peter, and Chris are given the task to set up a room with everything needed to delivery the baby in one of the spare rooms of the house. They go above and beyond with any and all possible out comes, it looks like a straight up medical heaven in there. Anything and everything all in the spacious room.

5.) thankfully, Stiles survives the birth of their son even though he gave everyone a great scare, and when people around town start to notice Noah and the rest of the pack members around town with a baby the cheating rumors zoom through the neighborhood. But thankfully, Cora steps up and says she was a surrogate for them, which quiets the town down enough.

7.) When they file the birth certificate, Noah simply adds adoption papers for Derek to have rights to make decisions for his own son and be legally just as much a parent as he was biologically. Derek and Stiles were so thankful for that, couldn’t imagine if something happened to Stiles and the courts tried to take their son from his father.

Eli as a toddler:

1.) Eli is a ‘wild child’ as Noah puts it. Always energetic and loud…. Just like his mom was as a toddler. He likes to run in the yard and the house even though his dad like to reminds him ‘inside feet! Inside feet!’ As he zooms from room to room squealing in delight with his father chasing behind him with wide, terrified eyes.

2.) Eli is a picky eater…. Really picky. He won’t eat any food that isn’t made by his mommy, claiming it just tastes different when it really doesn’t but his little toddler Brian tells him it does. Derek has a hard time getting him to eat while Stiles is away on work and it becomes common for takeout after the meals Stiles preps before he leaves for his trips runs out.

3.) Eli gets sick a lot a child, his werewolf abilities not active yet, and this makes Derek a panicked mess of a man. Stiles can handle his sick child with ease and typically ends up sick with him. He knows how to get Eli to take his medicine without crying, what foods Eli can keep down when his tummy hurts from the flu, and how to get the curly haired boy to fall asleep with no fuss. Derek, on the other hand, tries his best. Whenever Stiles isn’t home he usually ends up on Noah’s doorstep at midnight crying because he just doesn’t know what he could be doing to fuck this whole parenting thing up so bad. Noah sighs and helps his son-in-law take care of his grandchild and reassures Derek he isn’t hurting Eli, it just takes some practice, especially when werewolf’s don’t get sick so how could Derek even begin to know where to start.

3.) Eli likes to get dirty. Rolling around outside, playing in his finger paints, chewing on markers…. Stiles can’t even remember how many times he’d tried to let Eli use the markers and would get up to grab Eli a snack not even 3 feet from his child and turned back around only to find Eli have half a face of blue with a disgusted face as he spits the markers tip from his drooling mouth. No white shirts are used in the child’s wardrobe because Eli would just get them stained with dirt, grass, and mud after playing on his play set in the yard. Stiles has learned how much some simple dish soap and hot water could do after started drawling on the walls and smashing play dough into the carpet… he’s also learned that tears work great on stickers stuck on the rugs.

4.) When the pack of coyotes had broken into the house because Derek had left the door open, Stiles grabs Eli off the floor and rushes into the kitchen while gripping his and Derek’s child to his chest tightly. When Derek enters the kitchen where Eli is sobbing and clinging onto his mom Stiles stares at Derek with wide eyes and moves back when Derek reaches a hand out towards them. “Don’t touch him,” Stiles warned, his instincts where off the charts and he wasn’t mad at Derek, just needed to hold his son to calm him down. When Eli has calmed down enough he screams when he sees his father next to his mother and calls Derek a monster. This breaks their hearts and Stiles graves Derek’s hand before he can rush out of the kitchen. The spend hours reassuring Eli that his father wasn’t a monster and would never hurt them. Eli insists on sleeping their bed for weeks to make sure his mother wasn’t in danger and Derek can’t help but cry when it’s just him and Stiles because Eli’s at school. He never meant to traumatize his son by keeping him safe.

5.)Eli loves spending time with his mommy and typically helps Stiles make dinner by clinging onto his hip with his head resting on his mothers shoulder. This, of course, has made Stiles pretty skilled in the kitchen compared to before Eli was born.

6.) Derek and Eli spend a lot of time together when Stiles is gone and Derek kind of feels guilty that his glad Stiles isn’t home all the time, because then Eli would probably hate him. Eli magically dismissed that fear though when he was getting bullied for having two dads and he only wanted to talk to Derek because “Daddy is tough. Daddy is the strongest person alive! Daddy will know what to do, mommy! ‘Cause Daddy will ask Mommy first cause Mommy is the smartest person alive too!”

I have so many more head cannons for Eli as a preteen and such. But these are just a few of my headcanons for Stiles's pregnancy and toddler Eli. Hope you love them🙃

[romanarose]

About a Girl: Chapter 9

Beautiful header by my beloved @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

Joel Miller x Trans!Fem!Reader (Nickname, Blue)

Series Masterlist : The Last of Us Masterlist : Full Masterlist

Summary: Blue sets up her future in Joel's life, step by step by step

Warnings for whole fic, not chapter by chapter: 18+ ONLY!! I cannot warn against everything, but these are major themes. Joel is a lil ignorant but not out of hate. He just doesn't know. He's trying his best. There will be smut. Penetrative sex, all of the anal play, oral. There will be transphobia from other people. Addiction and alcoholism. QUICK child neglect not by Joel but I promise, Sarah is fine and is having a great time in life. Fetishization of women attracted to women by a shitty guy. Will update as needed. Again, this is adult content. Expect adult content.

Immersivity: Reader is transgender, AMAB female, reader has had gotten bottom surgery, not top, and is on hormones. reader has visible hair and a blue streak in hair, but not described. Could be braids, could be natural hair, whatever. Header is for aesthetics only. Reader is about Joel and Tommy's height. Let me know if i miss anything!

TAGS HAVE BEEN SHITTY make sure you're caught up!!

TRANS LIVES MATTER! TRANS YOUTH MATTER! TRANS ELDERLY MATTER! TRANS WOMEN MATTER! TRANS MEN MATTER! NON BINARY TRANS MATTER!

Step one: Kayla.

You knew showing up to Kayla’s front door was a bit of a risk, but for Joel, you’d do anything. When she opened the door to see you, her eyes went wide and immediately she trid to shut you out, but you stuck your steel toed boots in before it hit the doorframe.

“Here’s what’s gonna happen, Kayla. You are stay’n the fuck away from Joel.”

She narrowed her eyes at you. “Thought he dumped your ass.”

“Yeah, because of you and his dumbass brother, but we worked it out.” After the day you lost your job, Joel came over a few times that week to check on you. That turned into helping you pack, which turned into him volunteering his truck and himself to move you to Tess’s place that was now going to be packed with the most rag-tag group of misfits you’d ever seen. Tommy was part of step 2. After spending time together again and Tommy wasn’t his sole responsibility anymore, you and Joel fell into each other again. And he fell into you again. And again. And again. Joel was yours and you were his, and you were making sure it stayed that way now. This had been carefully discussed with him, but there was no way you were sending your sweet, passive boyfriend to his abusive ex to lay out the boundaries.

You continued. “You can see Sarah, but like he said, ONLY under direct supervision. You will only contact him about that. If you show up unplanned around him, or harass or threaten him, me, Tommy, Tess, Sarah, hell, even Talia for whatever reason, we will be filing a restraining order. Tommy and Tess have eyewitness accounts of how you treated him, and honey.” You glare at her, using your height to intimidate. “He told me what you did to him. The hitting, the sexual coercion. You’re lucky he asked me not to, because I’d beat your ass.”

Kayla looked like she wanted to say something, to spit something back but thought better of it. “I’m not jumping through hoops just to see my daughter.”

Settling your feathers a bit, you step back. “That’s just it, isn’t it? You won’t jump through hoops for her. But Joel would. I would. Joel would fight tooth and nail for Sarah, but you know what? You’re the one missing out, because she’s a special kid. She’s kindhearted, funny, smart, and I get to see her almost every day.” Kayla scoffs, but you prod deeper. “Did you ever want her? Or was she just a prop to try and get Joel.”

“You have no right to ask me that-”

“I did anyway.”

“She’ll never love you.” Kayla stood up straighter. “It’s bad enough Joel chose a man in a dress above a real woman, but she’s going to hate you for what you are.”

She was trying to cut you deep, to hurt you are harshly as she possibly could. But that wasn’t going to work on you. You weren’t a child, you were secure in yourself, your femininity and the live in your little family. “No, she won’t.” You say with confidence. “Because she’s a good kid. Because I’m gonna be there for her like you never were. The world is changing, Kayla, and you should probably catch up. I’ll see you if you wanna come get Sarah.” With that, you turned on the heel of your black boot and walked to your car.

Step two: Tommy

“Hey baby.” Joel greeted you with a smile and a chaste kiss, Sarah trailing behind him. “Hey guys.”

Everyone greeted Joel, Talia asking Sarah if she wanted to go to the hottub Tess installed in her house. Sarah was enthralled, announcing she already had her swimsuit on under her winter clothes. Spring in Texas wasn’t bad at all, but the idea of getting water at this time of year was exciting to say the least to a 5 year old. 

Talia’s offer was intentional, planned. Tommy told Joel he needed to talk, and he needed Blue and Tess with him.

When they were all sat down, coffee in hand, Joel started.

“What’s go’n on, Tommy? Ya make’n me nervous. You okay?”

As nervous as Joel is, Tommy’s leg jitters until Tess places a reassuring hand on him. “It’s okay. You know he ain’t gonna freak out.”

That only served to make Joel more nervous. “Freak out about what?”

“It’s not a big deal Joel, I promise.”

He turned to you. “You know?”

Poor guy looked so worried. Despite the bickering, he loved Tommy so fuckin much. “I do, but please don’t be mad. It’s not something I was at liberty to say.” You turn to the younger brother. “Tom, honey, you’re freaking him out.”

Tommy nodded, taking in a deep breath before blurting out, “IM GAY.”

Eyebrows furrowing together, Joel looks confused for a moment. “No you aren’t.”

“JOEL!” You and Tess shout, chiding him for his reaction, but Joel is quick to defend.

“Shit! Sorry! I just mean, You like women, you’d always liked women. I’m sorry, fucking hell, I’m bad at this.” He scrubs his face, dagging wrinkled skin down with his fingertips. “Okay, I guess first, I love you, ‘M always gonna love you, and I obviously don’t care about that, almost everyone I know right now is gay or trans so-”

“But it’s different with your brother, isn’t it?” Tommy asked with a worried expression, leg jiggling again.

Joel shook his head. “No, of course not. I want you to be happy. Is this why… well, why you’ve been doing so much drugs and drink’n?

Tommy roled his eyes. “It’s not that-” But stopped himself when Tess elbowed him. Downplaying the incident with Sarah would re-ignite the tension. He sighs. “I guess that’s part of it. I’m um… checking into rehab at the veterans center next week. Got a room. I haven't been honest with any of ya’ll, but I ain’t been sober.”

Tommy told you this when he mentioned wanting you and Tess’s support talking to Joel, but Joel had suspected. Joel was used to Tommy lying about sobriety. 

Nodding, Joel squeezes your hand. “Okay, I’m glad your getting help. Let me know all the info and I’ll take you, be there with Sarah and Ellie for all the visits, all that shit. You talked to Bill yet?”

He shakes his head. “Not yet. Kinda nervous, yuh know? Don’t wanna disappoint him.”

“You won’t” Joel assures. “Frank is who mentioned PTSD to me first, so I think they’ll just be glad you're getting help.”

But Tommy just groaned, burying his head in his hands. Joel’s hand disengages from you and goes to hug Tommy. Standing in the living room, Joel holds his baby brother close as he cries. “I love you, Tommy. I don’t care if you’re gay or whatever else you got go’n on, you're still my brother, and my best friend. I’m proud of you.”

Step three: Ellie

“Do we have everything?!?!?” Joel was running around the house, anxious. Everyone was here. Tommy, a few days before checking into rehab, Tess and Talia who were, in fact, engaged, Frank and Bill (Max was absolutely not invited to this one.)

“Baby, everything is perfect.” You assure Joel. Ellie was coming with next to nothing for personal items. She had a few things, but one item from her mom was a jackknife she obviously couldn’t have at 5 years old. She had a dinosaur stuffie, a picture of her and her mom, a dinosaur book… she had a thing for dinosaurs.

Joel picked Sarah up from day care a few months ago, only to find her sobbing. Her teacher was trying to get her to say what’s wrong, but she kept saying it was a secret, she couldn’t tell anyone. When Joel came, he was naturally very concerned, especially given that he knew Kayla had been letting strange men around her. When he convinced her that she doesn’t need to keep secrets from him, that he would take care of her no matter what, he was surprised to learn it wasn’t her secret. It was Ellies.

Ellie had showed Sarah the bruises on her from her foster parents. Calling Ellie over, the teacher checked, and yes, she had bruises on her pale skin. Joel sat with a crying Ellie and sniffling Sarah while the teacher made the call. The next few hours were long. Ellie’s foster dad came to pick her up before the police arrived, and from what you heard there was a little bit of a confrontation. Joel wasn’t violent of course, as much as he might have wanted to be there were children around. However, he did not let him get near Ellie. 

After giving his statements to the police, calling you and Tommy in to relay what you knew, the social worker approached him.

Ellie was up for adoption. Dad is completely out of the picture, never knew who he was. Mom is dead. No one had adopted her yet because of her behavioral issues and said she kept wanting Joel the whole process of interviews. Joel asked if he could be in the room with her with the polic officer, but they wouldn’t let him. She was, of course, being removed immediately from the foster family and being placed in a girls home, and the social worker broached the idea if Joel had ever considered being a foster parent.

He hadn’t, you knew. Sarah kept him busy. But you also knew that when she asked him, he knew what he wanted to do. He just had to ask Sarah.

“I just feel like I’m missing something!” He was very stressed. You took him by the shoulders, steadying him.

“Joel, sweetie. Listen. You got everything a 5 year old could need. A bed.” Bill built a bed for her to sleep in in Sarah’s room. “You got clothes.” Tess and Talia went on a shopping spree, keeping in mind how Ellie’s tastes differed from Sarah, but also getting dresses and girlie shit incase she wanted that too. “Lots of books and toys.” Tommy had gotten her toys, while Frankie went for books and more enriching games and activities. “And lots of fun times planned to make her feel at home and loved.” Your funds were a little low. You’d managed to find a daycare job to get by until you could start teaching in a neighboring district next fall, but that was minimum wage. Still, you wanted to welcome her home. You’d made the cake and snacks for the small welcoming party, but you’d also managed to get tickets to the planetarium for the four of you.

Normally a gathering like this wasn’t recommended for a foster situation, but Ellie was different. Ellie knew they were planning to adopt her, Ellie knew Joel and Sarah and Tommy. Sarah and Ellie were ecstatic to be sisters. Joel and Sarah had been able to visit the girls home occasionally under supervision as the foster paperwork was processing since they’d expressed desire to adopt, and Ellie had continued to attend kindergarten where Joel made sure to always come a little early to spend time with her and talk to her teacher about her needs and progress the same he did with Sarah. 

The reason he couldn’t say yes that day was because of Sarah. Between the turmoil with Kayla, you bein gone and coming back, Tommy moving out, he didn’t want to make this choice without her permission. Sarah said yes to fostering and adopting right away. The situation was a bit complicated but the plan was: Joel fosters Ellie, Joel adopts Ellie, Joel marries you, you adopt Ellie. Kayla hadn’t been heard of in months, and hadn’t seen Ellie for months before that. You would, of course, help Sarah and Kayla foster a relationship if Kayla showed promise of change, but they weren’t counting on it. If Kayla relinquished parental rights, you would adopt her too. Your little family.

A knock on the door. Ellie was here.

Im back from vegas!!!!

I had so much fun ;-; manages to not spent too much money either by just chilling at the hotel pool for several hours. I was just facedown on the innertube a chunk of time, occasionally paddling so they didnt think i was dead XD

I know Im late on my own pride event. embaressing. Clown behavior. If ya'll have submissions you wanna make you can keep making them until i post the masterlist haha

I need the epiloge and i kinda wannt write t4t transman santi and transfem reader. Thats for you, Fen!

ANYWAY

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[shares-a-vest]

@flufftober Day 6: Corn Maze

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson (Stranger Things) Word Count: 882 Rating: T | cw: Canon-Typical Swearing, Some very questionable flirting over a corndog Flufftober is perfect for my Joanie Munson AU. You don’t need to have read anything previously! All you need to know is Steve and Eddie (a trans man in this AU) have a daughter named Joanie. Fluffy (and silly) shenanigans ensue. This is my first post of Flufftober. I've started later than I had intended, but hopefully, I can get to posting every other day.

“Eddie, what the fuck!”

A woman walking past him gasps and hurries along into the corn maze, a great labyrinth that takes up most of the Smith family’s cornfield. It’s a Hawkins tradition at the beginning of each Autumn, something Steve went to for years as a kid. It was always a special occasion, one that he has been buzzing about sharing with Eddie and their daughter ever since the season changed.

But, in going to fetch a trio of corndogs, Steve now finds himself wishing he’d never bothered to come here.

Eddie shrugs and he just about wants to throw a corndog in his stupid face.

He closes his eyes, bristling even more at the increasing volume of the children scattered about.

“Eddie…” he begins, breathing slowly as he white-knuckles the wooden paddle sticks containing their intended fairground treats, “I was gone for five fucking minutes.”

He opens his eyes to find a woman about their age glaring at him as she huddles a little boy in close by her leg. Not that the kid could have possibly heard him through a gigantic set of blue earmuffs.

Eddie folds his arms in defiance and rocks on his heels. He gestures to a kid in the puffiest red puffer jacket Steve has ever seen. The kid is spinning about, whipping his head all around like he is looking for someone.

“Bet that kid is lost,” Eddie scoffs.

“Our kid is lost, Eddie!”

“Joanie isn’t lost… technically…” Eddie fumbles, seemingly no longer so assured, “She said she’d come back.”

He gestures vaguely towards the illuminated and autumnally adorned entrance to the maze, murmuring to himself. He soon chews at his bottom lip.

“Damn it, she probably is lost, now. Jesus Christ.”

Eddie stomps his booted foot into the dry grass.

“Could you young men please stop cursing!”

They turn in unison to find an elderly woman, holding the hand of a pigtailed girl about Joanie’s age. Steve takes a step closer to Eddie on instinct. He can practically feel his partner roll his eyes. He has to stifle a laugh as the old woman clutches at her brown turtleneck, a set of pearls nowhere in sight.

Eddie watches as she walks away, grandkid in tow.

“Get bent, Grandma,” he gripes, voice low.

Again, damn the handful of corndogs that prevent Steve from clapping a hand over his mouth to stifle a bark-like laugh.

Eddie smiles, mischievous dimples dotting his cheeks.

“Sorry I lost our daughter,” he offers, holding out his hand.

Steve moves to take it, juggling the corndogs precariously into one hand. But Eddie reaches for one with wiggling greedy fingers.

“No, I wanted a corndog,” he whines, offended.

Steve tsks and rolls his eyes as he shoves his treat-filled hand in Eddie’s face.

Eddie soon plucks one from his grasp, that gleeful smile back in full force as they make direct eye contact. He proceeds to lick up the length of the corndog before biting down on a good third of the thing. Steve shudders.

“You didn’t like that?” Eddie wonders aloud through a mouthful of food before gulping down awkwardly.

“No,” he snaps, taking Eddie’s hand before any more protesting.

Lucky the chiding old grandma didn’t see that one, Steve thinks as he drags his partner into the maze.

They make their way through the cornfield, a dizzying cycle of dead ends, wandering and possibly lost children, yappy dogs and spilled refreshments. But Joanie is nowhere in sight, still, and Steve can feel a headache coming on, pressing in just behind his eyeballs.

Eddie hums contentedly next to him and squeezes his hand, two corndogs long-devoured.

“This is nice, isn’t it?” he says, blinking up to the overly sunny skies above.

Steve pinches his nose.

“It will be nice when we find Joanie,” he snips, “And we better find her soon, it’s like Children of the fucking Corn in here.”

“Better get your change purse ready for that swear jar, Stevie,” Eddie teases, leaning into his personal space.

“Fuck the swear jar,” he grumbles, picturing the menacing bedazzled glass candy jar luxuriating away in the apartment on the kitchen countertop.

Just as they round another corner, Steve braces himself for the disappointment of being yet another dead-end. But Eddie runs square into a bright pink backpack adorned with a unicorn.

Eddie and Joanie both shriek, pitches matched in shrillness.

“Where did you go?” Eddie says, voice wobbling not just from the sudden fright as he suddenly sounds more concerned than he has let on this whole time.

Steve crouches down to their five-year-old’s level, the lone corndog still in his hand.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“Yup,” she grins, pulling the straps of her pink backpack tight as she puffs out her chest, “Finished the maze. Can we go get food, now?”

“Oof, yeah,” Eddie nods, sticking an agreeing thumb in her direction, “All this walking has made me hungry, again.”

He arches his back, cracking it like a damn cement mixer before standing upright and eyeing the last corndog, his worries instantly forgotten. Steve frowns.

“I want fairy floss!” Joanie yells before disappearing back around the corner they had just turned down.

Eddie follows along - but not before yanking the rather dry and cold corndog from Steve’s hand.

[groovinrightalong]

Do u have any trans masc Max Mayfield headcanons?

I haven’t thought much about it but now I have so MANY thoughts!

-Max hasn’t had a lot of positive relationships with the men in his life, so it takes a long while for the “hm I don’t feel quite right” to click. He doesn’t feel super comfortable as a girl, but he looks at his step-dad and Billy and is like “well I don’t want to be anything like that, so this has to be okay.”

-He definitely knows more about gender/sexuality stuff than the others because of growing up in California. So he’s thought a lot about it over the years, but just kept coming to the conclusion that he’s a tomboy (again, no positive relationships with men.)

-It’s actually because of Lucas (and the rest of the Party, by extension) that he really starts to get more comfortable with the idea. Because Lucas is sweet, and he’s gentle, and so unlike any of the other men he’s been around. Lucas is the first person that kind of cracks his view on gender roles and what exactly defines a man.

-He butts heads with Mike a lot at first just because of how insistent Mike is about him being a girl, how he’s different and unwelcome because of it, but (if this is also transmasc Mike) they realize they’re actually really similar and grow closer because of it, or (if this isn’t transmasc Mike) Max realizes that it isn’t the “girl” thing that bothers him, it’s the fear of replacing El.

-If it’s both transmasc Max and transmasc Mike, Mike comes out WAY earlier than he would’ve on his own.

-The boys are all really supportive when he comes out (which would probably be around the season 3 era). They don’t really get it at first, but he’s their friend, and they’ve always been very vocal about how they’d kill for a friend if needed. And really, seeing Max as a boy isn’t all that different from what they were doing already, so it’s an easy adjustment.

-In a similar fashion to Max teaching El about being a girl in the show, the guys take him out on a “boys only” night. It isn’t really any different than their usual hangouts- they go to the movies, play video games, eat way too much junk food, but the boys only title makes Max feel all fuzzy and warm inside.

-He comes out to Billy while he’s dying. He didn’t ever really plan on doing it at all, but his step-brother is dying in his arms and he needs to get it off his chest before it’s too late. Billy is a lot of the reason it took so long for him to feel comfortable as himself, and he thinks Billy knows that once it’s out in the air. Unfortunately, Billy’s dead before he can really give much of a reaction, just a weak little “I’m sorry.” And that’s nowhere near enough to make up for everything.

-He comes out to his family that night in a screaming match with his step-dad. Neil is an asshole about it, but it doesn’t really matter because the whole argument starts because he’s gonna leave them. Susan is incredibly supportive, and she turns around and kicks Neil out even though she’d been begging him to stay moments before. Gives Max one of those big, therapeutic hugs where Max just sobs into her shirt.

-Max cuts his hair off after Billy’s death. He’s never had a problem with his hair, he actually likes it long, but he’s messed up over everything that happened. He leans a lot more into the stereotypes he hated as a kid, acts rougher and more stand-offish. He breaks up with Lucas, stops hanging out with the rest of his friends. He feels awful, because this is the first time in his life that he’s only surrounded by people that support and love him, but he feels like he doesn’t deserve it.

-(Vecna has a field day with all that)

-Post canon, he does grow his hair back out again. Lucas dramatically informs him that men with long hair are hot (bi king), to which Max shoots back that that would mean Mike was hot. Lucas gives Mike a quick once over and is like I mean, yeah.

-Lucas likes to greet people and go hi, yes, this is my boyfriend Max. He’s so cool. He pretty much single-handedly saved Hawkins that one time. And Max stands there with his face bright red in his hands like oh my god shut up

-Lumax and Byler double dates with an obnoxious amount of homo, striking fear into the hearts of conservative smalltown Indiana

YES I love this sorry for making it angst near the end but yes yes transmasc Max I love him💞

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

where's the rant ???

Alright so rant time: people constantly argue that making a character a transwoman is the same as making them a ciswoman and frankly that’s wrong. I’m sorry but it is. As a small disclaimer: I’m nonbinary and I am in school getting a sociology degree. I will be using sex to refer to biology and gender to refer to otherwise.

Using Tim Drake as an example: the stories you tell with a transgirl or a cisgirl version are incredibly different from each other. Because men and women are socialized drastically different from one another. While the character of Tim Drake (fierce, loyal, hard working, generous, and wanting to do so much good) wouldn’t change so much else about Tim would in either option.

With a transgirl Tim Drake, you have how society would react to her and coming out. I’d also argue that she wouldn’t come out until her teen years because of Jack. No one can tell me that this man would be okay with his kid being a transgirl. You just can’t tell me that. Janet is a toss up because of the limited information we have on her as a character. She however did neglect her kid, and in general I think that as new or old money, whichever you want to use, she would have problems with image, considering that a trans child could go bad for the PR. But even ignoring the parents, a transgirl!Tim would have a totally different story. I expect her story woudl go much like canon for a while until she is able to articulate that she is a girl. Then I expect backlash from people, one of them being Stephanie.

I’m probably in the minority when it comes to my thoughts that Steph is a straight woman who would react to her partner coming out as a woman badly because ‘what does that say about ME?!’ I won’t go into my issues with Steph. Others have done it way better but I do think that she and Tim both messed up their relationship even if frankly most of the blame is on Steph’s feet. BUT ANYWAYS: Tim coming out would cause issues there. A harsh reaction is never great for a baby trans kid and I can see Tim retreating as Steph goes off to complain to someone like Babs. Who I then think would be upset with Steph for outing Tim. Baba then acts as a pillar for Tim who slowly can come out on her own terms. Bruce and Dick I don’t think would have an issue and Jason? Let’s be real: Jason wouldn’t give a fuck in the sense it’s “okay wait, girl? Okay… I’ll still beat the shit out of you”.

The media would pitch a fit and I think that YJ would become closer over this, but I also think that there will be backlash from other members of the cape community. There just isn’t a way there wouldn’t be because while sure a lot are accepting you can’t tell me everyone is. Also the rouges. Unless Bruce asks Tim to pretend to be a guy still which… OUCH. I feel that is on brand and also something Tim would struggle so much with but want to obey while everyone is yelling at Bruce.

Then a transitioning Tim when her father wakes up probably wouldn’t go back to him because I doubt his reaction is a good one, and so she stays with Bruce. Probably becoming adopted. She and Cass would bond and I can see Tim developing further and becoming more confident as time goes on. She is less confident as Robin as she is not allowed to be herself.

The Damian and I’m torn. On one hand: I kind of like the idea that the League are all assholes but they also are chill with queer people cause Ra’s is creepy with canon Tim. In the other this is something he can attack Tim over and I doubt he’d give up the chance the little psycho.

So… Damian would be a thorn but I think that Dick steps in way more here because ‘baby assassin trying to kill Tim since he doesn’t know better’ is very different then ‘a transphobic kid being a shit to Tim’. Sad but true.

Tim’s story drastically changes by being a transgirl and it’s one that is VASTLY different then being a ciswoman because Tim still was socialized as a boy from birth. There is still a level of privilege she got from birth that a ciswoman doesn’t. People would react to her being trans in multiple ways such as denial or disgust.

But a cisgirl!Tim? Well…

People expect different things from the sexes. Women are supposed to be soft, gentle, not to loud and are supposed to be kind. Boys get to be demanding and loud and smart and rough.

Tim as a girl would have Jack and Janet reacting differently. It’s a personal headcanon for me that Jack imposes a lot of his traits onto Tim as a boy because ‘it’s my son and he is thus like me’. A girl though he’d expect to be a ‘cute and soft girl who is there for me to pull out of the closest’ because frankly the guy who willing marries someone not even a decade older then his kid who uses to be his physical therapist is a LOSER who would. Janet is again a toss up but I feel she’d have more of an impact for this Tim as being a woman in buisness or archeology is a field she had to climb and claw her way through. Things she would then pass on to her daughter.

Women are expected to be feminine and gentle. I’m actually fond of a girly fem!Tim compared to others, but I think it’s more of a punk girly then not. Janet totally would have weaponized her femininity in a way Tim tries to mimic. Dresses, soft smiles, doe eyes but a sharp mind about to rip you apart. Her interests in photography would be dismissed as ‘artsy girl’ and she’d be put into ballet or gymnastics with some comments over martial arts.

Women will have people talk about them if they do anything out of the ordinary. They aren’t supposed to ride skateboards or things because that’s what boys are expected to do. They aren’t supposed to like climbing things or other shit.

Tim as someone born a girl, and as either new money or old money, would be expected to have certain traits a boy is allowed to not have. So without a doubt she had etiquette lessons and dance lessons and anything else her mother might have decided were useful because Jack wouldn’t have noticed anything. Even if it’s cause Janet got mocked by people for not knowing I can’t see Tim not having these lessons.

Tim who has a great mask and who keeps her lives seperate this would have her high society mask, her vigilante mask, her public self and her real self because girls are still expected to act a certain way in public. Any interest that deviates form what society expects is brushed off as ‘she’s trying to be unique’ or ‘tomboy’ or ‘fitting in with the boys’.

We finally get to Robin now because Tim is still Tim and I don’t doubt she would do the same thing, fight to become Robin, but with this comes it’s own problems. Threats of sexual assault, comments about being a girl, crude comments about opening her legs or how she fights: all of these would follow her. We can go: some rouges are nice all we want but not all of them are.

Then we have Stephanie and that relationship is already drastically changed because Stephanie again is straight, and I think that Tim would be able to connect to Steph much better as a girl. I still think it wouldn’t be the healthiest of friendships because of everything but I also think that Tim being a girl while having hard lines is very different from a boy with boundaries because Steph knows as a girl what it’s like to have boundaries. She would feel bad for breaking them compared to ‘Tim is upset I found out his identity boohoo why is he upset with me?’.

We have Dick to and I’m going to be real honest: I think Dick is sexist enough to make assumptions of Tim. He doesn’t have issues with women but in general he’s a bit of a douche bag (sleeping with Babs while inviting her to his wedding with Kori anyone?) that he would put some expectations on this Tim related to being a girl. Of course Tim tosses those out of the water and I think he’d adapt but still: Dick is just… I think he’s the guy who puts a lot of stock into blood relations more then we know (ala Damian) and that he’s got a few assumptions about the Robin title along with thoughts on girls.

Bruce is… I think his expectations would be similar to canon with an emphasis on her being a girl. He knows competent women but in his world most of the female heroes are super powered or criminals, with Barbara being a shining example of a non-powered hero who got hurt. He’s going to compare it. I think it would either be worse then canon or he’s going to shove her off on female heroes more because he isn’t sure how to handle her.

Barbara as well I think is closer then canon to Tim being a girl and sort of the Batfam early compared to Stephanie. I actually think Babs would be a lot more posessive of Tim because of this, but this miiiight just be me. I know Tim and Cass would be incredibly close as well much like canon.

Jason and Damian though? Okay so I’ll be blunt: Jason is the kind of guy who is a feminist and supports woman’s rights but has a few issues with women he’s never been able to articulate. Society would press on him women are supposed to be fantastic mothers who put their families first and then he gets Sheila and Catherine. And while Catherine may have loved him society says she’s a terrible mother. Then we have Talia and no matter what the ‘sleeping together’ thing is fucked up. It just IS. So Jason has issues. However I think said issues being thrown into his face would make him stop short. Yet his reaction to a girl taking the mantle is one that would be… tricky as hell.

Damian? Damian is sexist and could go one of four ways: a) canon, b) WORSE then canon, c) dismissive and arrogant assuming she is just there to be trained and would be shoved out of the role as soon as he’s there no need to fight which turns into canon reaction when she isn’t or d) an assumption she’s there as a bride for someone. Because frankly it is something I can see him assuming. Bruce training a girl much like how Dick/Jason was trained so eventually they would marry to be solid heirs. The LoA is messed up and Talia might be a woman but she was raised there so there’s probably a ‘exception to the rule’ mentality with her. And I can see Damian either then: deciding he would be Tim’s groom as the true heir to the Bat or he would go: well time to marry her off now.

Either works. He’d still be violent and cruel towards her but that’s just Damian in general until he mellows out.

I think losing Robin in this world would be much more of a blow for Tim because of the sexism she’s faced. Being the lesser Robin for being a girl, how people reacted to her being feminine, seeing how Dick so easily tosses her aside for a male child. How people probably would go: yes! A good Robin finally! Or how his more violent reaction probably gets praised over her. Mixed in with the dismissal of Bruce being alive which feels worse as women are always getting dismissed by people and Tim lashes out harder then in canon.

We then come back to Babs because there’s only two ways she can react: canon or she goes ‘I’ll listen for real as I know the guys suck at listening to the girls’ and making her decisions that way. (And let’s be real Babs would know. Give me more female solidarity in comics and not the weird catty crap we get otherwise)

We then have canon happen with Ra’s being just as creepy mixed with a lot more sexism on her world tour.

One thing I do think would happen like canon is Tim realizing she’s bisexual when Fem!Bernard comes along and gets her thinking about it because girls are allowed to be touchy with each other so her not knowing is twice as likely.

These stories are VASTLY different from one another and the assumption that they wouldn’t be is insulting. Yes, transwomen are women but there’s still a huge difference in a story about either of them. Both these stories have very different thoughts and reactions from characters.

Just pretending that they’re one in the same is wrong. And pretending there’s a moral high ground when you claim they are is just being a dick.

[theashrider]

My toxic trait is… taking the lesbian characters I used to ship back when I was gay, and turning them into straight (or at the very least, non-lesbian) ships now that I’m straight.

Without context, it sounds insane and probably homophobic. But I find it really hard to abandon my comfort ships just because I can’t relate to them as well as I used to before.

I started shipping Supercorp before I realized I was trans. In my head I always imagined Kara being non-binary or transgender due to a mismatch in kryptonian-to-human gender concepts. I needed to find comfort in the idea of a character that’s seen as a woman but is actually just incorrectly categorized as female due to her exterior appearance. I made up a gender spectrum for Kryptonians to justify this idea, and I used to daydream about what it would be like to be an alien that isn’t confined to human gender identities. I imagined that getting called Supergirl would cause discomfort and awkwardness because these humans saw long hair and heard a soft voice and decided that this alien, this being from however many light years away, was surely a girl in the way that human girls are. Hell, I even imagined Kryptonians having the ability to regulate their hormone levels and having a wide vocal range that allows them to switch between feminine and masculine tones without needing to practice. I fantasized about having that type of super-human ability to control my body characteristics to finally look and sound the way I did in my mind.

I started watching Xena because I knew it was a popular wlw show, but eventually started imagining Gabrielle as trans in an Ancient Greek time period where trans guys probably couldn’t do anything about it. Then season 5 happened and suddenly Xena was calling Gabrielle the father of her baby and Gabrielle was stepping up to protect their child, and I latched onto the idea of this closeted trans guy who’s living as a woman but still manages to find a way to be a parent and a partner in a non-traditional way. That helped me cope with my inability to medically transition, seeing this short, talkative, feisty character as a closeted trans guy that everyone else (including their partner) saw as a woman. I took comfort that Gabrielle could find a way to be a good partner even without being able to present herself the way she wants to. I’m around the same height as her. I will never be able to change that, and neither can that character. But she is still a father and a bard and a soulmate and all of that transcends the physical reality of her body.

Doctor Who has been my favorite show since I was a kid. It has been present in my life through every phase and new discovery about my identity. I shipped River Song with the Doctor from the moment I realized she wasn’t just a two-episode guest character. Then the Doctor became a woman and we never got to see her interact with her wife. But I wondered what it would be like to have them meet, have them figure out their relationship now that they’re both women. And I started thinking that maybe the Doctor wouldn’t be completely comfortable in a female body, since she’s been living as a man for so much longer. So I decided that, in my head, whenever River and the 13th Doctor met, the Doctor would have a hard time communicating that discomfort with her wife. I imagined that she would crave regenerating back into a man, or maybe regenerating as a cisgender woman who doesn’t feel like she’s a man who looks like a woman. I’ve had times where I wished I was a woman even though I have a female body and brain, just because I can’t imagine women feel the same way trans men do in their minds. So this character that can change the way they look and sound like, really just gave me something to hold onto while I struggled internally over my appearance and my voice.

I wonder whether other trans people have done this with characters they love and take comfort in. I also wonder whether voicing these feelings and ideas in primarily wlw (or mlm) spaces would hurt or offend the members of that community, considering how common straight characters and ships are and always have been. It feels a bit isolating to be in these communities and fandoms but not have anyone to relate to because you’re not really shipping the same people everyone else is shipping. You’re shipping a version of them that you made up, and probably doesn’t match with canon at all. I can’t find many fan works that cater to my headcannons (and I don’t have the artistic ability or time to make them myself) but I also don’t feel like I can ask for them from fandom creators.

I’ve never seen anyone else talk about something like this. I’m interested in finding others who also do this or have done it in the past to take comfort with their own gender identity. And I think I just needed to finally write all of this out.