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COSMOS 🌌 Vlive Karaoke Edition ft. Kanghyun, Giuk, Yonghoon, & no ear protection in sight (tr. cr.)
#loveonewe#foronewe#kpopccc#kflops#malegroupsnet#malegroupsedit#onewe#kanghyun#kang hyungu#giuk#cya#yonghoon#chord telepathy duo <3#oorieri#tuseral#wings.gifs#wings.original#vlive#this is v long but it was all too good#targeted wings content !!! (musicians being musicians + a little bit of chaos + my BELOVEDS)#p.s. rip giuk's hearing </3
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The Helena diaz of it all has me fascinated. I’ve said for a long while that Eddie’s real issues are his mommy issues and this episode just cemented for me that we’re gonna explore that and deal with it.
Because it’s Helena who forced Eddie to grow up to fast - because her husband wasn’t around much - so she pushed Eddie into de facto parent and husband role ls - selfishly filling her needs and ignoring the damage it was doing to her son (it is a form of abuse in my book).
Eddie then had the audacity to fall in love with and marry Shannon and get her pregnant. It’s why Helena was always so off with Shannon - she was punishing her. She is also punishing Eddie for all of this and his refusal to return to El Paso only cemented further her bitterness and resentment.
Now she does have Ramon back she doesn’t need Eddie any longer to fill that role so she is still punishing him and part of that is tied into her glee over now getting to parent Christopher - something she has always been intent on doing the doppelgänger just gave her the opportunity- as well as allowing her to further punish her son and his love of Shannon.
Her barbed comments about building a pool were all about showing what she can provide Christopher - how she is parenting him better than Eddie - it’s part of her mind games - making Eddie feel like more of a failure as a parent to his son.
The reality of course is that the reverse is true - Helena’s parenting is all superficial, flash and showy - it isn’t the hard day to day parenting when things get tough and you have to be the bad guy. While Eddie has made mistakes, there is nothing superficial, flash, or showy about his parenting. It’s why bucks comments about Eddie being a great dad are so important.
Eddie feel like a failure right now and that he is entirely to blame for everything. But in reality, while he does bear a bit of the responsibility, the truth of the matter is that he needs to learn and deal with the fact that all of it actually stems from Helena and her abuse of her young son - Shannon never stood a chance just like Eddie never has.
#genuinely don’t see how she can get any sort of redemption arc#but this is 911 so maybe they’ll find a way 🤷🏻♀️#Helena’s treatment of Eddie is a form of child abuse - it has done so much damage to him psychologically#I do really hope we finally get to meet Sophia and adriana as part of this arc beciase I think it might be very revealing#I am also wondering if Ramon had a stache in the past - and that is what Eddie is subconsciously trying to mimic#and that is about him trying to regain his mothers affection - trying to fill that husband role she forced him into#and that shaving it off is a part of his dealing with that and choosing to free himself from her clutches#and in doing that - standing up for himself etc - it will be the trigger that v ring schristopher back#the catholic guilt and Eddie’s queerness is also all tied up in this - the church reinforces and condones Helena and her actions#the Catholic Church has a long history of abuse of children in all it’s horrendous forms#so Eddie seeking solace in that direction think it will help him find away back to Helena’s good books only for it to open a few doors he#has bolted shut#as for the queer aspect - forcing Eddie to grow up too fast and fill this role of husband to his mother and parent to his siblings means#Eddie never got the chance to learn who he actually is - to explore his sexuality and all that goes with that - at the age one normally#would - as a teenager and into your 20’s. it explains so much around his relationship with Shannon and dealing with the helana of it all#and the queerness of his identity - will also allow him to actually let Shannon go#Eddie’s arc is going to be incredible - heartbreaking and gut wrenching - but incredible#Helena diaz it’s on sight - she is evil and cannot be redeemed in my eyes!#911 spoilers#Thinky thoughts#eddie diaz#911 abc
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y'all ever think abt how it was julie having the affair and it is even said multiple times that she was the one who left him, yet wilson was still the one who left their home and moved in with house. like. he couldn't bear to stay in their home alone. he immediately ran to house and stayed on his couch for weeks. suffered through his pranks and his laziness and his manipulation. telling him he wants him gone while sabotaging his attempts to leave. and he only left once he got a girlfriend again.
#chyanne speaks#house md#hilson#hate crimes md#gregory house#james wilson#i think his inability to be alone is such an interesting quality of his that isnt touched on enough#like yes we all haha at his long string of unsuccessful relationships but we dont talk abt it all stemming from his inability to be alone#his first wife leaves him and then he remarried quickly#he cheats on the second wife and remarries quickly#the third wife cheats on him and leaves him and he immediately moves in with house#and then starts dating a patient and immediately moves in with her#but!!! then he moves into the hotel and is alone for like almost a year! and honestly he NEEDED IT#bc GROWTH happened in that year and he meets someone who doesn't fit his M.O. who breaks away from the mold#although he does immediately move in with her too but still. amber was different. she was the step in the right direction#and then she dies.#and then wilson throws himself into the left field. everything needs to change. he's spent so long fearing being alone.#so he tries to leave so he is completely and totally alone without house to fall back on#but house needs him. he needs him too much. they need each other too much.#and he falls back to house again. and he's content that way. he's always the most content when he's with house. always feels the least alone#and then sam comes back into his life and ruins e v e r y t h i n g#he falls right back onto those old patterns. kicks house out and moves her in. and then what happens??? of course??? she leaves him. again.#and then he's alone again and it hurts. he gets a cat that we only hear about twice and then never gets brought up again#but wilson has his kitty. he has house. he's not alone. he can be content.#and then house fucks everything up. he goes to prison. wilson is alone again.#im honestly SHOCKED that wilson didnt remarry in that year they were apart but he was rly trying to change!#he was working on himself and trying to make changed he thought would be good for him#and then house comes back. and house won't LET wilson be alone. he wont leave him alone.#and it's exactly what wilson has been yearning for since the day he drove that car into cuddys house#and in the end. as long as he had house that was all that mattered. as long as he had house he wasn't alone.
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Me, going into the Summon Room after two days of starving myself: "Maybe if I get the Servant I want then I would finally want to try and eat something! Haha just kiddi-"
FGO gacha god: "For fuck sake here's your two whores with very luxury rainbow sparkles now go eat you fucking donkey!"
#two rainbow#TWO FUCKING RAINBOW SPARKLES#not just gold dust BUT FUCKING RAINBOW SPARKLE Douman had such a long pause too it's almost like he hesitated or struggled#omg manifesting for Skadi awawawawa I beg for that Mamiko Noto sweet summer deep see v#fgo#fate go#fate grand order#non dol posting#oh I ate some food btw they're still tasteless but I need to keep living to enjoy these gacha a bit more also to wait for Summer Skadi#I could cry finally I get some good gacha results#after all the bad lucks with previous banners#uuuuuuu#I love them both I've been waiting for Lady A ever since she debuted in JP#and Douman too urghhh
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siffrin post-canon h/c is like "dw you're not actually mean, we love you!" and loop post-canon h/c is like "yes you are mean, and we still love you!"
#so imo it's like#loop's baseline is just being kinda annoying#and when they feel worse they get pointedly mean#and when they feel even worse they get quiet which they hate but unfortunately being around real people in real timelines is v overwhelming#and then at ROCK BOTTOM they are like incoherently screaming and physically lashing out#vs siffrin's baseline is being a little quiet and a little helpful and a little funny#and when they feel worse they withdraw more#and he feels even worse he maybe breaks down crying or maybe dissociates completely and maybe?? communicates??#and then at rock bottom they lash out / get mean#basically loop was at rock bottom for so long that it became their default coping mechanism#all the in between shit is too vulnerable or too siffrin-y or too cringe#and it's been kinda liberating not worrying so much#so anyway#that's why siffrin needs to be reassured that their mean moments don't define them#and loop needs to be reassured that it's ok to choose to be angry#like it's not Good to be mean but. they don't have to be good to be loved#isat#loop#siffrin#isat spoilers#thoughts#thoughts about loop#thoughts about siffrin
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⟢ highlight of the hour: the good bad mother [6/6] ⟣
empathy
#the good bad mother#korean drama#lee do hyun#ahn eun jin#mygif#mmkfav#tgbmhoth#im so sorry yall#i have something to say#i think im gonna stop watching this drama#so im gonna end this series too#i really wanted to like this drama#but i dont think its for me#its not my cup of tea#i tried so hard and i held on for as long as i could#but i have to let go#(why am i so dramatic asdkjfd)#ty to all who followed this series and supported my posts <3#i appreciate you all v v much#:]#and to those who are watching this drama i hope you continue to enjoy it and have fun!!
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good-ending!kakashi and itachi need to have a little former traumatized geniuses cooking club where they get comfortable with making little "mistakes" and putting imperfect dishes on the table and improvising without needing to explain themselves like it's life or death
#the “former” is aspirational and v cute#probably sai and tenzo also join at some point#of course gai joins in occasionally because he's not to be outdone by his rival with cooking of all things#and also with these four it can get depressing quick#iruka is invited once as a courtesy when he shows up to work with one too many kitchen injuries lol#if there's one thing they're not the cooking club is not clumsy#... unfortunately he is quietly assigned a buddy any future attendances#usually itachi because itachi can put out fires very quickly#or sai because sai is (frustratingly) talented in the kitchen and doesn't feel he's missing out on practice#neji might also participate sometimes! he wasn't ever anbu but he probably needs the therapy-ness of it#he's not a huge group activities person but sai invites him and he's surprised by how low-key it is#he gets a little competitive with itachi lol#since itachi doesn't care about things like using all whole-grains or only organics or attempting to make a recipe vegan#he's very good at following directions don't get me wrong but he's not much of an experimenter unless he knows a dish super well#while neji just knows which replacements to use after doing it for so long#neji isn't super militant about it but he watches his diet to make sure it isn't imbalanced/overly protein heavy#and like itachi he doesn't care for strong tasting meat so he'll preferentially choose fish or plant proteins#this is what finally makes things more easy between the two of them! some of the others want to make a meat-heavy dish one time#but itachi isn't feeling it and neji shows him how to do a tofu alternative!#long tags#naruto#from the margins#hatake kakashi#uchiha itachi#hyuga neji#sai#yamato tenzo#umino iruka#omegaverse
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actually so evil how much of hal's internal world gets obliterated with the rewriting of his relationships with jessica and martin.
#hal jordan#empyrean posting#ok going in the tags because im not actually v confident in my understanding of his character. i read all of his 80s/90s stuff but forgot#90% of it but ANYWAY.#so much of him just does not make sense with how geoff johns characterises him and his relationships with his parents particularly the#parallax stuff simply because of how much his relationship with the guardians and their apathy/'betrayal' is influenced by hal's original#relationship with his dad. like at its heart it's pretty much the same dynamic in how hal blindly trusts and sort of idolises the guardians#despite their repeated infractions in hope of... something in return just as he had with his father and the abuse he suffered at martin's#hands. that's what makes his anger at the guardians make sense when it does show itself because the relationship parallel didn't stop there.#as with martin hal gets nothing for his devotion. he gets nothing for doing everything that's asked of him and more and it ends the same way#too: with a man in the sky burning like a newborn star. and you lose so much of that nuance and intrigue behind that if you just make#jessica the 'bad one' because!!! you cheapen it!!!!#the whole idea of hal is that he has his father's face but his mother's scars#(to me). in the sense that they both reacted to martin the same way with that cognisance of who he was as a man yet inability to pull away#because... love. both the love they had for him and the conviction that he did or could love them too. and jessica arguably did eventually#but also she didnt did she? because she held onto that notion of love till the very end. the few scraps she had she ballooned outwards until#they became the whole. but hal didnt have even that and he spent his whole life chasing it & running away from wanting it at the same time#like i think there's something so interesting to the fact that he had to be convinced that flying was what he wanted to do. how much of that#was touched by his father? the fear that he was already too much like him than he could bear to be? he already had his face now he had his#dreams and longing for the sky. how much more could he have before he began repeating the cycle?#and at the end he even had his father's death. burning in the clouds. like there's so much there and that's not even touching on how it#impacts his relationships with other heroes. not just in the sense of why did kyle clark and diana get to keep their close yet complex#relationships with their moms when hal had to lose his (although yeah why did they) but also just how he lets himself come across to them.#because it's on purpose right? that he lets them think his reflection of his father is born out of unadulterated love for a man worthy of it#? he has his father's job he wears his father's jacket he smiles his father's smile. what else are they supposed to think.#and isnt that interesting!!! that this man who is so committed to being good & just can lie so casually to people he thinks of as friends!!!#can you see how that might be his mother through and through!!! in how she might have glossed over the abuse to other people and herself!!!#can you see how in spite of it all he might want to be perceived as his father that paragon of masculinity and resent that he is not!!!#do you understand how everything he loves has been poisoned!!! im thinking of that scene where he tells bruce about watching martin die &#wouldnt it have been so much more interesting through this lens. how he is both revealing & obfuscating at once. i hate the change sm
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rereading order of the stick (again), and greyiew is only in a few comics so far but man do i love this nihilistic wolf
#order of the stick#yes i know it hasn't been terribly long since i last reread it but#i've been desperately trying to get my dnd group to read it and i just had to go back and go through it again#and again. the first 250 strips or so are pretty cringey and there's aspects even later that make me wince#but fuck once you get to the soul splice arc you've read the last bad oots comic#''utterly dwarfed'' is fucking *incredible*#i am both incredibly ready and incredibly not ready for the climax#i bet durkon will live and i'm sure haley elan and roy will#o-chul i'm leaning ''survives'' and lien i think will make it#minrah will probably make it. i bet serini is doomed.#belkar is obviously doomed#i'm 100% on the fence about v#like straight-up 50/50 both ''live'' and ''die'' serve strong narrative purposes#but as to how it all plays out?#v still owes the fiends 23 minutes meaning the order can't rely on them to back them up in the clutch#so on the one hand it would make the most sense for them to hit as hard and fast as possible#but on the other - if the fiends *don't* call in the debt for their own purposes#they will have burned out their most powerful member too soon#burlew is too clever and too good a writer for a traditional battle scene as the climax#more is going to happen. *something* massive is going to shift#serini turns? redcloak turns on xykon and gets eaten by the mitd?#i can't tell! i'm going to flip tf out whenever it does happen though#hnggh this has been 20 years in the making and the climaxes have not failed a single note yet#burlew is goddamned *good* at rising action and nailing the climax of a story arc#it's gonna be fucking incredible ugh
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the mean girls of duel academia
#yugioh arc v#yugioh arc-v#arc-v#fusion four#fusion gang#idk i cant decide on their group name so i'll just use both#there's also the wip of them playing mahjong on twitter but its too unpolished to tack it on here#ahhhhhhhhhhh i need to draw them more i love this combination so much#they're all outcasts in a way in DA so i think they'd be really good not-friends... frenemies?? idk#what about grace and gloria i hear you say well theyre in their own non-student mean girls group with edo the third tyler sister#anyway time to infodump on these!!!!!#maids (and butlers) are from a long 20 page comic about DA opening up a maid cafe to earn money to pay for war reparations#i finished the storyboards and script 2 years ago but i just never got around to it again lol#i need to rework it anyway because shun and dennis were oddly cordial in that one for some reason#the standard uniforms ones are when they're sent to standard to pose as undercover students#i drafted some pages where yuri reveals himself to be from fusion in this sick costume change#it's pretty cool if i do say so myself (i do)#the comics centered around sora were also meant to be a multi paged project on how he gets closer to everyone from academia after the war#i just (gets emotional) want to see them all getting along theyre such interesting characters and even more so when interacting together#oh yeah character tags#sora#serena#yuri#dennis#edo#grace#gloria is not here
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narukana bffs. you agree 🫶
#listen listen. theyre friends#i think they shouldve bonded more during the moonlight disco story#i think arashi should've painted kanata's nails blue with waterproof nailpolish#i think they would have fun “swimming” together too (kanata floating while arashi splashes around)#arashi would make kanata wear sunscreen lmao#omg now im imagining kanata cooking arashi dinner as thanks for doing his nails/hanging out with him/etc#it'd probably just be sushi or smth similar since he only likes cooking cold food + loves fish#but i feel like arashi would l o v e sushi so there's no problem there (if there's any story that says she doesnt please lmk)#anyways i also think arashi would love just like. venting/gossiping to kanata too because he's really chill and a good listener#like she can just vent without worrying that he's gonna try to give her advice she doesn't want#she's like “i had the *worst* experience with someone at my modeling shoot today” and goes on a long rant#all kanata says at the end of it is “puka-puka-ing makes all bad ”emotions“ float away~”#and arashi's like “omg you're right a bath *does* sound good right now”#they have matching friendship bracelets also. i think that would be cute#okay headcanon dump over for now#ensemble stars#enstars#kanata shinkai#arashi narukami#narukana#idk what their ship name is 🤔#arashi x kanata#kanata x arashi#<- figured i'd go ahead and tag these even though i dont ship them romantically
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Johnny: wow kerry thought he was living in my shadow? shit. I had no idea. wow. this is news to me.
Also Johnny:
#johnny silverhand#kerry eurodyne#cp 2077#EDIT: if you’re seeing this from the tags pls check the reblogs for some good meta courtesy merge-conflict#youre a mean girl johnny silverhand#he talks soooooo much shit and has all this nasty masculine bravado#SECOND FIDDLE!#like but why does he have to mention that. btw V I’ve never been jealous of him IN MY LIFE OK#damn johnny. did we ask? you coming in hot#the lady doth protest too much i think. i truly think he realized long ago#that kerry had the potential for musical greatness/ superstardom#and his reaction to protect his own ego is to shit on that#not maybe fully realizing that kerry was taking all that to heart and internalizing it#because he DOES sound hurt on dark matter’s roof when kerry forlornly talks about being in johnnys shadow#but its like. damn dude. too little too late.
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#Heartbroken. Upset. Devastated. Changed for life#That aside reading the chapter was such..................... A struggle the translation came later than usual and the scanlation team forgo#to upload it on Tumblr. And mangadex is blocked in my region and I ran out of vpn data. Aka it was a miracle I even got to read it but it#took foreverrrrrrr#And I'm seriously struggling to share images so 🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦#All aside I DO think it was a good chapter. There's some really interesting stuff. ATSUSHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I like Fukuzawa's development it's r r interesting. I like how the parallels between Fukuchi's death and Akutagawa's death are STRONG#I really like Atsushi every time I see him do nothing I go <333333#I think... I was v comeppeld by the development of Fukuzawa telling him to run away. And then supposedly him *not* doing it#Telling him he can't win against Gozen and him still trying (btw the parallels w/ chapter 83 are 👀👀👀)#Because I've been striving for Atushi to have his own agency and make his own choices for so long!! And when he was like “I'm getting out o#this room- but only to see what the president wants me to do” it was very :/// I wished for a development of this kind#But then it's not what happened 😅 Too bad missed chance#Mmmmmhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what else. I marginally cared about Bram but I never cared about him as little as I did today#Nothing against him really just. Hey. Not the king I was waiting for 😔#random rambles
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youtube
hai guys :3
#my video lol#my audio lol#vocaloid cover#synthv cover#synthesizer v cover#genbu#genbu synthv#evil food eater conchita#i am forcing everyone to look at this. look at my guy ehehehhkjnjkhgmlb AFTER TWO WHOLE ASS YEARS FINALLY#i couldve probably put more effort into this but ITS BEEN IN HERE FOR 2 YEARS i wanna be done w/ it already 😭#so regardless if it kinda sucks a little bit; its wayyy better than the covers i made like ~4? years ago when i was first starting out#was the iku drawing i posted before this foreshadowing?? not necessarily but its rly funny to think abt in hindsight#also rip genbu in a dress that i was gonna draw for this originally 😔✌️ i'd really love to draw more stuff for these covers i make#but it usually never comes out the way i want it to and i figure editing some sorta visualizer like this is better#than keeping some things trapped in my files for so long purely bc my extra ass wants a cool pv. some day maybe but not now#some sick fuck unsubscribed from me after i posted this BYE BITCH i dont miss you at all. live laugh love genbu in this house /j#im not the most obnoxious genbu stan i'd say but you WILL respect him in my house i do not tolerate genbu slander i love that man your hono#yes im extremely based bc he (and eleanor) were THE very first vsynths i ever actually fucked around w/ programwise#but WHATEVER!! idc he is so dear to me i do not regret buying his full version at all (it was impulsive)#the only synth i'd actually consider myself kinda good at tuning LMAO ik people hate how he sounds and have issues w/ him but not me...#these tags are too long girl stfu. anyways tldr; look at silly thang i made w/ my silly man#i love genbu and i love songs about cannibalism <3#Youtube
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dehradun days
you meet them for the first time,
knowing it's probably the last.
might as well make the most of this time,
since life comes at you fast.
you find the strangest of signals
in the no-network zones.
cross-tent communication with folks,
just rambling about the unknown.
there's the warmth of shared laughter,
that carries you through freezing nights,
and you look up at the flickering stars,
to finally see things in a different light.
and at 11,000 ft above sea level
you finally reach the peak,
just to realise the joy was in the journey,
and the friends you made that week.
you'll visit caves & splendid cafes,
and remember the city in mere parts,
but years later, you'll still tell everyone,
how dehradun captured your heart.
#inertia-writes#poets on tumblr#desi poetry#dehradun poetry#poems on india#poems on life#desiblr#being desi#dehradun#i went on a trek w the lowest of expectations and it was one of the best experiences of my life#it's so refreshing to meet people from different cities and of different ages and backgrounds#jan and feb were pretty meh but things have been looking upwards from march (thank you god - i acknowledge your existence)#thought of writing a happy poem for a change of tone (and also maybe because i am genuinely happy :) )#this isn't one of my best poems i feel - it's a bit unrefined - but who cares it is one of my happy ones sooooo#there are times when absolutely nothing significant happens and there are days when years happen#i didn't go in the mountains for solitude - i felt that here already haha. i went for a change.#but i gained so many memories w people and so many positive perspectives that i needed in general. also nayata premier league <3#i think i believe in destiny now. i was destined to meet those people and have a good time and come back to reality w a spring in my step#and maybe the mountains were calling. can't stay away from snow too long - i was born during snowy days anyway#came back home and am still in some weird positive trance - good for me#also my lucky streak is still going on - kaavish released a new song#historic moment in time (thank you god 2x)#poems on friendship#found family#poems on found family#all the may '23 - feb '24 melancholy has been washed out of my system. i am now set for the next tragedy of my life lol#dekhte hai kab tak khush rehti hu mein - kuch bhayankar honewala hai aisa lag raha hai#i do not remember the last time i was happy for a month straight - am i living in a virtual simulation?#whoever is controlling my life rn - i would like to continue to stay in this simulation - thanks v much
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#aye. in another life i would have loved to be an illustrator#i dont like to do digital tho and i dont wanna b a starving artist and i like science too much#but it would make me so hsppy if i was allowed to draw all day everyday#forever and ever drawing#but nooo i wanted to get a phd in microbial evolution. and im procrastinating working on my preproposal#literally doing anything to not work on it. i coulf have been a illustrator. an endocrinologist. a neurobiologist. a paleontologist. but i#chose microbial ecologist then thought no fuck ecology and went for photosynthetic mechanisms#bc i do love my lil cyanos and i do love Microbiology. i love those underapprecated lil guys#the world is so big and beautiful and all i wanna do is understand. but my stupid brain doesnt work right and ive burried my wonder for so#long i wonder if ill ever have it back. i was reading a bunch of lil notes i wrote this semester and i go from#everything is so beautiful i cant stand it. there are angels in the sunbeams and they feel like healing. to im the world around me is#warping beyond my control. i cant feel any joy. my head is sending me terrible ideas but im not even scared. it feels inevitable#but last week i was so full of energy i couldnt sleep. nothing changed but the chemicals in my head#hopefully next semester will b better and i can stop feeling like damaged goods and feel bad fro my advisor#for having to deal with me. hes v nice and has a bip0lar brother so he's sympathetic but i wish he didn't have to b#i want to stop fantasizing about being something else and just focus on being better at what i am#but im such a pathological perfectionist that its so difficult to make any progress. but whatever ive been feeling alright for the#past week or so. hopefully that carries through. and maybe somedsy i can illustrate something for my precious baby cyanobacteria#unrelated
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