#iruka is invited once as a courtesy when he shows up to work with one too many kitchen injuries lol

[ikemenomegas]

good-ending!kakashi and itachi need to have a little former traumatized geniuses cooking club where they get comfortable with making little "mistakes" and putting imperfect dishes on the table and improvising without needing to explain themselves like it's life or death

[dayseternal-blog]

Summary: She knit a red scarf for him.  She never gave it to him.  Days turned into months, months turned into too late.

Naruto starts dating. Hinata decides to move on.

A sickness takes root in the heart.

Inspired by SasuSaku fanfic “Medicine” by @grimmjowkurosakidrake

Rating: Mature

Read Chapter 1: Smoke on her tongue

Read Chapter 2: He’s not a ghost

Read Chapter 3: Weeds

Read Chapter 4: Leave himself behind

Read Chapter 5: She’s always (still here)

Chapter 6: Much more than friends

The bustling activity of the hospital fades away as soon as they step outside.  The silence between them magnifies in the bright sunlight.

She feels anxious, a small excitement fluttering about, as she follows him toward the road.  Naruto has always done the unexpected, and with today, she thinks he’s really lived up to that reputation…

She has no idea what’s coming next for them.  

It leaves her hopeful, so, so hopeful, that she doesn’t dare speak.  Out of fear of disturbing this dream, any wrong word could turn all of it into a terrible joke.  

Naruto stops.

She freezes behind him.

He turns around, looks directly at her, and feels his stomach drop straight to his feet.  The question he wanted to ask forgotten.

She’s blushing so much, and it’s adorable.

He stuffs his hands into his jacket pockets, a reactive heat rising to his own face.  The sudden onslaught of nerves makes him feel warm, as if someone just complimented him, and at the same time, he feels incredibly scatterbrained.

He feels like he can do anything or nothing.

Two steps away from remarkable or lost...

“Soo,” he regrettably starts, immediately and unfortunately finding himself weakly at her will, but he manages to continue, “...what are you doing now?”

“Oh, I, I guess I should meet up with my family...at the...cemetery.  It should be about that time.”  She sounds so soft, even to her own ears, she’s not sure if he could hear her.

But he nods.  “Right...right.”  Since the moment Hinata entered his room, he pretty much forgot what today was.  So much happened just this morning, it’s a surprise that it’s still afternoon.

She peers up at him, trying to gauge his expression...muted, thoughtful.  She decides against telling him that she went without him earlier.  She knows the reason now why he didn’t show up, and she doesn’t want to make him feel bad about something that wasn’t in his control.

His disease, his explanation for it, it’s all something she still can’t quite wrap her mind around.  And she’ll dedicate time to mull over it later, but for now…  “Would you like to come with me?”

“With your family?” he asks, a hand swinging up to work the uncertainty from his neck.

“Mhm,” she quietly affirms.  “They won’t mind.  I’m sure they’d love to see you.”

He didn’t get a chance to go earlier, and he really does need to pay a visit.  Maybe without the flowers, he’s seen enough flowers for awhile...Neji would understand...Neji probably doesn’t actually care about the flowers, right?  And if Hinata’s family won’t be bothered by him...  “Sure, yeah, thanks.”

She hums a disagreement at his appreciation.  He doesn’t owe her that, it should be a matter of course that he would be invited.

He smiles at her.

And with the way his gaze lingers on her as they start walking once more, fluffed cotton fills her legs, her stomach, her head, and she feels she may be nothing more than a cloud in the sky.  Any slight breeze from him would send her clear in any direction he pleases.

It’s headying.

It’s frightening.

Though no one gives them much of a passing glance, she wonders, what others must think of them together?  How much distance between them is appropriate?  How much distance was there before today?...Are they now more than friends?

So whenever thrust into an unexpected, socially nerve-wracking situation, her hands find each other, clasping together tightly.

His fingers interlace behind his neck, cradling his head, walking as if lying back in the grass.  It’s always been a tried-and-true way to appear as relaxed as possible, even if he feels far from it.  “You…”  He frowns at the sky.  “...didn’t go this morning, did you?” he finishes quietly.

“Ah...I did.”

She went.  Of course she did.  It’s Hinata, and she’s always been reliable like that.  And he...he didn’t go.  His guilt darkens even the blue sky above.  “Sorry...I wasn’t there.”

“Oh no.  You were in the hospital after all.”

“Yeah but still.  Sorry, Hinata.”

She hums another disagreement quietly, trusting that the nearing view of the cemetery will lighten the air between them with shared purpose.

Murmurings from somber crowds carry over the field.  Families pray around headstones.  Little gifts and flowers decorate every grave across the field.

But despite the numerous people, Naruto sees that no one pays him any mind.  It’s a welcome surprise.

And their presence seems to be a welcome surprise, too, for the rest of her family.

Hanabi’s eyes widen.  “Oh, Nee-sama, we would have waited for you, but none of us knew where you went!”

“I’m sorry, I was helping Sakura-chan at the hospital.  Naruto-kun was there, too, and I invited him with us.”

He takes this as his cue, slightly dipping his head in a bow, awkwardly, to her stoic family.

In the following beat of silence, his eyes draw directly to the only reaction...Hanabi’s expression: brows arched high, a quick glance at her older sister, mouthing a silent ohh.  A look that sends self-conscious warmth to his cheeks.

“Thank you for coming today.”  Hiashi is as serious as usual, but the words sound genuine.

He nods, for lack of anything else to say.  In front of all of her family, some he knows by name, some strangers, all of them in quiet appreciation of the moment, he can’t help feeling a little out of place, like their collective pressure on him just forces him to shut up.  Unlike other families, noisier in their prayers and conversation, the Hyuuga are quiet.  Silently cleaning and visiting graves of others besides Neji who were lost in the war.

Hinata has always been quiet.

And as he expected, this is the quiet family she’s grown up in.

The people who raised her into the person she is today.

Like Neji.

Hinata mentioned to him in passing the things Neji had done for her.  Helping her perfect a move, build stamina, assist her when she strained her eyes.  When he asked why she calls Neji “Nii-san,” she explained that he was more of a brother to her than a cousin.  She said she understands why it might sound silly to others, since during the chuunin exams, in front of everyone, he so vocally demeaned her.  How maybe to others, it might sound silly that even through that difficult part of their relationship, she still saw him as her brother.

He quickly reassured her that “No, it’s not silly.  I get it, believe me.”   He understood.  Perhaps better than anyone else ever could.

She looked at him, eyes, usually so pale, shining warm.  She smiled.  Her head tilted, her bangs sweeping over, the white skin of her forehead peeking through. “Sasuke-san?”

He smiled, too.  “Yeah.”  That asshole of a brother.

She nodded, her gaze drifting back to Neji’s grave, her smile muting to something lonely.

He remembers he wanted to hug her, words failing him when he could imagine what such a loss would feel like.  He can still remember back on that time when he was afraid that he really did lose Sasuke.  He turned his fear into determination to get him back...but Hinata can’t do the same.  And in that moment, he wanted to hold her tight.

But he didn’t hug her, didn’t touch her.  The very ache in his limbs to feel her weight solidly against his body, to squeeze her and never let go, made him freeze up.  He couldn’t gather the courage to do it and he didn’t know why that would be so, when he’s touched her before.

He knows why, now.  Aware of the heaviness in his heart, of how her loss felt like his own loss, of why standing next to her now makes him feel obscure, fuzzy, eclipsed by her.

The immediate thought that follows, each time, and he thinks he’ll never get over it, that it could have been her.  It could have been her, and he always sensed that that loss would have left him utterly, terribly helpless, a million times worse than losing Neji.

“Thank you” will never be enough.

But he prays it over and over.  Thank you.  Thank you, thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you, Neji.

It’s endless, a prayer never meant to find closure or be restricted by time.

Yet the sun begins to burn low, and Hiashi approaches their quiet vigil.  “Naruto.  If you are available, please join us for dinner.  We would be honored to have you.”

Her father’s kind offer is surprising, and it brings her so much happiness to know that his attitude toward Naruto has changed with the rest of the village.  “Yes, Naruto-kun, please join us,” she quietly adds, hoping he can hear her sincerity.

He gapes at their invitation.  No one’s parents ever invited him over.  None of the adults liked him, maybe except Iruka-sensei, but his old teacher claimed once that he’s not much good at cooking, so they always just ate out.

Hinata watches his hesitation, wondering.

Naruto studies the man’s stoic expression.  Does her father really want him for dinner?  He’s probably just asking out of courtesy...  “That’s really kind of you, Hiashi-san, but I need to head to the Tower before it gets too late.”

She tries not to let her disappointment show.  He had been saying since earlier that he wanted to get back to work.

“Sorry, Hinata.”

“Oh, no...”  She supposes she was never any good at hiding her feelings from him.

Hiashi nods.  “You must be busy.  Thank you for joining us today.”

“No, thank you for allowing me to join your family today, Hiashi-san.”

Her family starts heading off down the street, away from the cemetery gates, but she lingers behind.

Everything that Naruto said to her at the hospital was clearly direct, leaving no room for confusion.  So why does she feel unfinished?

“Your family is leaving-” he starts.

“I know.”  She looks up at him, as if his face will clarify her incomplete thoughts.

He takes in her soft gaze and soaks her attention in.  He doesn’t really want to go.  He doesn’t want her to walk away, either.  “Hinata…”

“Naruto-kun?”  

He reaches out uncertainly, his hand folding with hers, his grip light.  He held her hand in the hospital.  But suddenly, out here, it’s just...different.  As if the soft connection is a thin thread, gently tugging at his heart, pulling it toward their entwined fingers.

It’s a familiar warmth.  She never got used to holding Susumu’s hand, probably because she was always comparing it to this.  Naruto’s warmth almost feels natural against her.  She dares to think that it’s meant to be.  It’s where she always wanted to be, after all.

“...Let’s meet up again.”

She nods, her gaze leaving their hands to look into his eyes.

Her earnest expression makes his heart squeeze, his grip on her smaller hand tighten.  “I don’t know when, though.”

She nods again.  That's just how mission schedules are.  “Then, I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah.”

She lets go of him reluctantly, backing away to rejoin her family, when she remembers.  “Um, Naruto-kun?”

He perks up.  “Yeah?”

“Happy birthday."

He shyly grins.  “Thanks.”  He’s not exactly sure if “happy” is the most accurate way to describe today, but it’s certainly been an unforgettable one.

She smiles a little more, taking in his warm expression, before reluctantly starting to turn around.  She holds his gaze for one last second, then steps away to catch up to her family.

Naruto slowly turns toward the Tower.  Some steps forward, though, has him glancing back, catching her looking back at him, too.  Warmth rises to his face, as pink visibly tinges her cheeks.  He smiles through it, widely, and turns around fully to wave at her.

She reddens even more.  She waves a little, too, shyly, before turning around for good, dashing away.  

She’s so cute.

And he’s so happy.

*

Kakashi puts him right to work.

He’s thankful for it.  It’s such a relief to stretch out his muscles, to move, to get his chakra circulating and working in a healthy, normal way, to finally feel like his body is his own and not a victim to a force larger than himself.

That force being...death.

Missions remind him that he’s young and...not dying.  Work makes him feel like he’s a functioning adult, doing what he’s supposed to do.

He remembers how he felt before.  That month of confusion that led to anger, that spiraled into depression.  A month of...kind of just...getting worse and worse and worse, and it was so completely unlike him.  No energy.  No direction.  No sense of self-worth.  He didn’t recognize himself.

He doesn’t even really know how to reflect on the whole thing.

Thing.  He really doesn’t know what else to make of it.

The descent seemed to happen so slowly, and suddenly he was in the thick of his disease before he realized it.

Then as quick as a snap, he was fine.

...That, too, his cure…

He never gets too far in his reflection on everything he’s been through because he always pictures her soft, pink smile when they parted ways at the cemetery.  She has the softest smile he’s ever seen, and he can’t wait to see her again, he just, can’t, wait.

He needs to verify her feelings again with his own two eyes and ears.  With his hands, too.  He’ll hold her hand again and maybe he can hug her.  Maybe he can hold her.

He wants to hug her.

The thought always leave a vacancy he can feel against his body, like she should already be there in his arms but isn’t.

On a mission like this, even with a fun teammate like Shikamaru, he finds himself thinking about her in a moment of downtime.  Thinking about when they’ll meet again and what it will be like.

It’s real.

His feelings for her are an excitement and distraction quite apart from anything he ever felt for his past girlfriends.

...He pretty much never thought about Rumi while on a mission.

...Rumi…

He tries not to think about her at all.  The memory of her makes him feel like a piece of shit.

He really sucked.  He couldn’t even be a decent person, he really…

Anyway, he should just focus on his mission.

*

He’s been really busy, and she knows she needs to be patient.

But she can’t help but wonder if she’s just his next girl.  She knows that just a week ago, when he told her that he loves her, she thought that he didn’t need to prove anything to her.  She knows that she’s supposed to trust him, after all, Sakura told her so, too.

She knows that she needs to not make any assumptions and just put her faith in him.

But...wasn’t it fast?  Between his breakup with Rumi and his confession to her, wasn’t it...just...fast?  She’s not sure exactly when he broke up with her, but Sakura would have told her something, probably, or the rumors would have traveled before Naruto would have gotten a chance to tell her.  She thinks at the most, maybe a week passed since they broke up?

And, and!  Between Kanae and Rumi!  A little over one month.  She thought that was fast, too…

She thought a lot of things.

She wondered if Rumi, a girl he seemed to hardly know, might be a quick relationship, like Kanae was.  But Naruto and Rumi went out all the time.  They seemed effortlessly happy together, going out on so many dates.  They were seen all over town, eating meals at trendy restaurants, looking...cute...as everyone said.

And Naruto tells her now that dating Rumi was a mistake?

What exactly did he mean by that?

Is it because he was...jealous…...that she was with Susumu?  And he got sick because of that?  He...got...sick?

She even asked Sakura on a day-off what Naruto’s illness was really all about.

Sakura said almost the same things Naruto had said, just with more technical language.

That should be “proof” enough for her, right?

Somehow, it’s not enough.

...She needs to be patient.

*

She’s heading out on a mission with Kiba, Akamaru, and Shino when she notices Naruto with Shikamaru, making their way toward the Hokage Tower.

She doesn’t have time to wonder how to react when he completely stops in his tracks, obviously assesses that she’s leaving the village, and then runs right up to her.  “Hinata!  How long?”

She can sense Kiba’s and Shino’s curiosity.  She wonders, too, at how obvious Naruto is making himself.  But it’s also incredibly reassuring to know that he was hoping to meet up with her.  “It’s just a one-way escort mission, estimated at nearly a week long.”

He nods, frowning, disappointment clutching his gut.  “Alright.”  He looks up to finally acknowledge her teammates.  “Be safe, guys.”

Kiba smirks.  “‘Course, man.”

Shino nods his appreciation.

“I’ll see you guys around when you get back.”  Naruto’s gaze pauses on her, and she senses that he wants her to do more than just nod in agreement.

She tentatively smiles, hoping that he’ll smile back.

He does, a gentle one that she’s seen before from him on rare occasions.

It’s always made her heart flutter.  She bites her lips, then responds, “We’ll be back soon, Naruto-kun.”

“‘Kay.”  He takes a step back, knowing that he’s holding her team up from leaving.

She reluctantly turns around, waving goodbye as he waves a bit, too.

Kiba and Shino have the strangest look on their faces, like they���re thinking about a lot of things.

They don’t divulge their thoughts to her, but she knows their worry.

It’s her own concern, too, after all.

Be careful.  But I can trust myself, too.  And I can trust him...and be careful.

She wants to hurry back home, but as soon as they were ready to leave the Land of Water, a typhoon hit.  All ships are docked until the typhoon passes and clears the surrounding waters.

So as rain lashes at the windows, they stay holed up in their accommodations, drinking tea and waiting out the storm.

Shino’s been unusually quiet.

She herself has had her own troubles, but both her teammates seem to already know that it’s regarding a certain old classmate of theirs (nothing new).  However with Shino, who so rarely seems to have a problem he doesn’t already know how to deal with, she’s been wondering what could possibly be bothering him.  So she asks directly, “What’s on your mind, Shino-kun?”

“Yeah, buddy, what’s on your mind?”  Kiba and Akamaru jump onto a bed to listen in.

Shino adjusts his sunglasses.  He takes a breath.  “I have a decision to make.”  He looks at them and sees that they’re listening.  “I’m thinking of applying for the education program.”

Kiba’s eyes widen.  “To teach at the Academy?  That’s awesome!”

“...The application deadline is in two months.”

In two months?...  “Good luck, Shino-kun.  I know you’ll make a great teacher!”

“You’ll make a fantastic teacher!  They’ll call you ‘Shino-sensei!’ like that,” Kiba cheers.

Shino looks between them, a tiny, amused smile on.  “But I am hesitant.  The reason is it would mean that I would not be able to go on regular missions with both of you anymore.”

Hinata and Kiba exchange looks, knowing that they both had already thought of that.

Kiba moves beside him, swinging an arm around Shino.  “Listen, you’ll make the greatest teacher, even better than Iruka-sensei!  Of course I’ll miss working with you, but, this is a great opportunity.  And Hinata and I would never want to hold you back.”

Hinata is thankful for Kiba’s encouraging tones.  It’s putting her in the right mindset, too.  “Kiba-kun is right.  We would never want to keep you from reaching for your goals.  Do your best!  We’ll be cheering for you all the way!”

“Thank you.  I’ll miss both of you,” Shino says.

She shakes her head.  “We’ll never be far away.”

“We’ll come and be guest instructors!” Kiba offers.

“Yes!” Hinata agrees.  “We’ll always be your team.”

“Thank you.”  His voice is heavy, emotional.

They smile together, and she feels tears coming on, but she doesn’t let them fall.  She supposes they all knew this would eventually happen.  The possibility of disbandment as they entered adulthood only increases with new responsibilities, new windows of opportunity, and challenges presented.

She just didn’t know it would happen so soon.

Sometimes she feels like it was only yesterday when she was selected for Kurenai’s Team 8.  Sometimes it feels like a forever ago when the four of them were tasked with finding Madam Shijimi’s cat.

For the entire way home, they reminisce on their trainings and missions together and make promises to continue meeting up whenever they can.

It’s bittersweet.

To realize, not for the first time, how wonderful her team is.  To hold so much excitement for Shino’s next stage in life.  To hear Kiba’s plans for the future.  To wonder about her own.

Maybe become a jounin sensei?

Maybe eventually work at the Academy, too?

To see that…

So much time has passed.  She really has grown.

And she still has so much of life ahead of her.  There’s no rush at all.

*

It’s a stroke of luck to see her coming out of the Hokage Tower.  She’s smiling, looking well.  She bends over to pet Akamaru.

She straightens and looks toward him, despite the distance.

So she knew that I was-- He bites down on that memory and runs forward to meet them.  “You’re finally back!”

“We got held up in the Land of Water due to a typhoon,” Kiba answers.

“Good thing you guys didn’t get caught in it.”  He nods at Kiba briefly before turning his attention back to Hinata.  “How was the mission?”

She almost wants to shrink away from his obvious, directed attention.  It’s almost too strong.  But no, she wants this.  She really wants this.  “It went well.  There was one scuffle along the way, but they weren’t a problem for us.”

“Yeah, I bet you beat them up easily.”

She blushes at his confidence in her.  It’s almost like from before...It reminds her of those times before he started dating.

Shino clears his throat.  “Are you hungry, Naruto?  The reason is, we’re going out to get lunch together.”

“Oh yeah?”  He was planning on trying to get Hinata alone, but this is almost just as good.  “Can I join?”

“No!  No, no.”  Kiba leans forward, his voice cutting Shino off.  “We’re doing Team bonding, and if you come along, you’ll just ignore us and try to hog all of Hinata’s attention!”

Naruto frowns.  Yeah, he probably would’ve but…  “The three of you were together for the past week!  More than a week!  Isn’t that enough bonding time?” he protests.  “Plus, Shino was about to invite me!”  He looks at the quiet guy for affirmation.

But Shino suddenly looks as silent as a rock.

Naruto’s jaw drops in disbelief and betrayal.  “Shino!”

“The reason is that Kiba is right.”

He rolls his eyes and looks at Hinata.  “Hinata?  You’re just going to let these guys treat me like this?”

She’s still absolutely red from Kiba’s sudden and shameless words.  It’s the first time he’s verbally acknowledged Naruto’s attentions toward her in almost a year, out of consideration for her feelings.  “Oh, I would like to, Naruto-kun, but…”  She looks at Shino.  “We’re not going to be Team 8, officially, for much longer.  Shino-kun is going into education.”

Naruto looks at the usually stoic bug boy.  This guy?  With kids?  A sensei?  “What?!  No way!  Shino?!”

“He’s going to be a wonderful teacher,” Hinata states solidly, not leaving any room for him to not believe her any further.

He nods, getting used to the idea.  Certainly unexpected, but has Shino ever been anything other than surprising?  “That’s really awesome.”  And he means it.

“Thank you, Naruto.”  Shino looks like maybe he’s smiling.

And so he takes a step back from them, now completely understanding what’s going on.  What wouldn’t he do to have just one more meal with his team, as if time never happened?  “Hinata.”

“Yes?”

“Tonight?  Dinner?”

She tries not to feel Kiba and Shino’s stares boring into her as she gives a quiet hum of affirmation.

“I’ll see you at your place around 6, then.”

“Okay.”  She tries not to look as shy as she feels because Naruto doesn’t seem shy at all.  And she needs to do her best to keep up with him.

“Great!  Have a good lunch then, guys.”  He waves his goodbye and heads off.

And then it strikes her.

She’s having a date with Naruto.

She’s really having an actual date with her longtime love.

He simply asked her out like no big deal, like this was the idea all along, and that the two of them are really, actually--

“So the two of you are a thing?” Kiba bluntly asks.

She turns to look at him, blinking out her disbelief.  “I think so.”

Kiba seems to hold back a frown.  “What do you mean, you ‘think so’?”

“I mean, he…”  Self-consciousness floods her, but Kiba and Shino are both waiting expectantly for her explanation.  So she quietly continues, “...said he loves me.”

Kiba and Shino exchange looks, nodding.

“Well, that’s what we’ve thought for a long time,” Kiba states before leading them away from the Tower.

Hinata stares at them, finding their simple acceptance incredible.  She really wasn’t the only one who felt there was something between them.  But she can’t help needing that affirmation even more.  It’s still something she can’t wrap her mind around.  “You both thought that?”

“Yes, the reason is that Naruto has always paid more attention to you than any of us.”

She looks away, shyness warming her face.  So it wasn’t her imagination?  “...but…”  Self-doubt rears up, making her feel suddenly slightly nauseous. “He dated others.”

“Oh yeah, Hinata,” Kiba starts, the roll of his eyes practically audible, “You could’ve…”  His hands turn up in a shrug.  “I dunno...tried to save his life a couple of times.  Hold his hand in front of the enemy and the entire Shinobi Alliance.  Eat out with him all by yourselves.”  He gives her a pointed look.  “And he wouldn’t have the faintest idea that any of it was romantic.  Hm.  I wonder why...maybe because he’s an idiot?”

She stares at him, processing his sarcasm, and Shino lets out the quietest cough of a laugh.  She pouts at both of them for making fun of Naruto, but Shino clears his throat, obviously ready to launch into a long explanation.

And she really does want to hear it.  Because, if anything, she has always interpreted Kiba’s list to mean that Naruto simply never returned her feelings.

“The reason is Naruto does what feels right, and if the outcome is fine, he will continue to move forward without reflection.  Unless you force him to stop by questioning his actions, he will articulate neither his reasoning nor his purpose outside of the obvious goals, and he will not consider or care about how others might perceive him, so long as he was able to manipulate the situation to meet his ends.  The reason is--”

“Naruto’s a gigantic idiot,” Kiba interrupts.

“--because Naruto thinks he has nothing to lose,” Shino continues, unfazed.  “Therefore he acts accordingly, always behaving as rashly as possible, not realizing that anyone might value him as much as he values others.”

“Or that,” Kiba tags on in agreement.

“The reason for that is,” Shino says with a sense of finality, “not very many people have stopped him to ask for his opinion.”

“What?  He’s always airing his opinions.”

Hinata shakes her head at Kiba’s denial.  “No, I...I think I understand.”

“Did you ever ask him why he held your hand in the war?”

Her eyes widen at Shino’s question.  Of course she hadn’t!  How could she ever ask a question like that?!

“Did you ever ask him what he thought of your self-sacrifice?”

“No!” she defends.  “That’s embarrassing, I couldn’t have asked something like that!  And...and I didn’t do any of that expecting anything from him.”

Even with his dark sunglasses on, she can see Shino’s measured look.

Kiba lets out a big sigh.  “Hinata...those exes were pushier than you.  And, I don’t mean this in a bad way or anything, but, well, it’s not like, uhh, well, I mean, Naruto’s an idiot, so, anyway, I get what Shino’s saying, y’know, Shino’s right, like, Naruto didn’t know you value him.”

She blinks at him, feeling inexplicably hurt, recognizing that they’re putting some amount, however small, of blame on her.  “But...I didn’t know he values...me…”

They pause outside of Yakiniku Q.

“And that’s why we didn’t say anything about this when you were dating Susumu!  He’s ‘pushier’ than Naruto!  You knew for sure that he at least valued you, it was obvious to you, and we thought it was good for you!  Both you and Naruto are the same!”  Kiba’s voice had risen enough that other pedestrians glance their way.

But she doesn’t take much notice of them.  Their words are putting all of her decisions, all of her choices to back away, to give Naruto space, to listen instead of probe, to watch instead of interrupt, into a different perspective.  She did that because she respected his decisions.  So are they saying it was wrong of her?  “I...didn’t know…”

“Yeah.  We know.  ‘S not your fault, Hinata, Naruto’s an idiot after all.”  Kiba leads them into the restaurant, and the hostess takes them to their table.

When they’re seated, Kiba continues, “And anyway, the two of you are together now, so it doesn’t really matter anymore.”

She tilts her head, wondering if it’s true that it doesn’t “really matter”...

“I’m happy for you, Hinata.”  Shino smiles at her.

She gratefully returns his smile.

“Yeah, we’ve all been waiting for this,” Kiba jokes.  “Hinata, you have no idea, but this has been a long time coming between the two of you.  Good luck with him.”

“Thank you,” she murmurs.  Maybe Kiba’s right.  Maybe it doesn’t really matter what happened before, who they dated, and what they thought the other was thinking.  Because the truth is that...they love each other?

It’s a truth she’ll be able to experience later, and she’s left breathless in anticipation of the unknown.  Logically, she shouldn’t feel nervous because she knows him so much better than she ever knew Susumu...but still…

Kiba snaps his fingers in her face.  “Hey, focus on us.”

Her expression pulls down in an embarrassed frown.  “I’m sorry.  I’m just…”  She shakes her head.

Shino nods.  “You’re just happy.”

She ponders that for a second.  She was thinking, more nervous or worried, but…  She agrees.  “I am.  But not just because of Naruto-kun.  I’m so happy that I have you two as my teammates.”

Hinata knows that they feel the same way as her by their surprised yet pleased smiles.  They were and are lucky to have each other.  She couldn’t have asked for a better team.

Kiba huffs out a breath.  “Before I start crying, let’s order some food.”

“Agreed,” Shino states, unfolding the menu.

She laughs, so, so, so appreciative.

No matter what happens to them in their futures, she’ll always have Team 8.

*

He restlessly waits outside, arriving much earlier than acceptable.

He’s been waiting for this for almost exactly two weeks.  And he’s readier than he’s ever been for a date.

Because he knows exactly what to do to make her happy.  He has a lot of money in his wallet.  He’ll compliment her when she comes out.  He’ll hold the door to let her in first, he’ll pay, and he’ll walk her home.  And at the end of it all, maybe he’ll get to hug her, hold her, like he’s been yearning for, but only if she seems open to it.

Only if she wants to.

He won’t rush this.

He’ll make sure she understands how serious he is.

Because despite the break-ups, he’s learned.  And he’s not going to mess this up with Hinata.   He completely understands what he’s doing with her and what this means for them, and, he’s not just doing this for fun, or because she asked him to, or to have a girl flatter his ego.

He’s doing this because...

He hears quiet footsteps coming from beyond the wall.

The gate pulls open.

And she steps out with a tentative expression that lights up into the shyest, cutest smile he’s only ever seen on her.

He takes a deep breath, grinning, unable to contain his excitement.

“I’m sorry to make you wait.”

“Oh no,” he dismisses.  “I got here too early.  I hope I didn’t rush you.”

She shakes her head.  The truth is, she had gotten ready really early, too.  It was a surprise to see him outside when she thought she was just being too impatient.

He feels giddy, like they have so much to do, but he knows now that dates need to be taken at the girl’s pace.  That, in general, his ideas aren’t the most reliable, and that he should just let the girl pick.  He tries his best to calm all of the adrenaline dancing in his veins.  “Anywhere you want to go?”

She blinks at him.  “Oh.  Um…”  She hadn’t thought about it at all.  She had assumed that since Naruto asked her to dinner, he had someplace in mind?  Like Ichiraku?...  “I don’t really know...”

“Anywhere is fine, Hinata!” he encourages.  “Don’t worry about me, I’m up for anything.”

She bites her lips, still surprised, not ready to think of a good place for their first date.  “Um…”

He watches her smile slip into a look of discomfort.  And he realizes just as quickly...he fucking forgot.  In his excitement, he forgot to compliment her.  Kanae always wanted to see if he noticed her efforts.  Is it too late to say something?...  He looks her over to see if he needs to comment on her fashion choice.  She’s wearing her comfy-looking jacket, appropriate for a chilly night.  He remembers what she wore with her old boyfriend...how she looked...different...yet tonight, she looks like she normally does.  Jealousy pinches his gut, but he forces that down.  It doesn’t matter.  It’s not like he dressed any differently.  

Just in case, he should say something, especially if that’s why she’s being so hesitant.  And, anyway, it’s not a lie, either.  No matter what she’s wearing, no matter if she’s clean or dirty from a mission, no matter if her hair is up or down, it makes no difference to him.  “Hinata, you’re beautiful.”

She pulls out of her worries at the compliment.

His gaze is focused on her so intently.

Warmth seizes her face faster than anything else.  How could he say something like that to her so casually without warning?  Isn’t that too much?  She wasn’t even paying attention!  Embarrassment has her shaking her head, shrinking back a step, refusing to look him in the eyes again.

Her reaction isn’t what he expected.  Instead of a coy, pleased expression, she looks like she honestly doesn’t believe him!  “You are beautiful, Hinata.”  Maybe she doesn’t believe him because she didn’t dress up?  “You’re always beautiful.”

She gapes at him.  Naruto has never lied to her.  She has no reason to not believe that he actually feels that way.  She squeezes herself together, trying to gather her wits about her.  It’s hardly two minutes into their first date, and she’s already falling apart like she can’t handle him.  Naruto deserves better from her.

She takes a deep breath and forces herself to really face him.  Kiba told her that Naruto never knew how much she values him.  And right now seems to be the time to start making amends.  She steadies her gaze on his openly warm expression and finds the sparkling blue of his eyes.  “Naruto-kun, you’re the one who’s beautiful.”

He squints at her.  “What?” he can’t help bluntly asking, a weird grimace cracking open.

“I mean it,” she quietly asserts, trying desperately to keep her blush at bay.

He shakes his head and lets out an awkward laugh.  “Don’t joke like that with me, Hinata, that’s not nice...so anyway, is there anywhere you want to go?”

She blinks, jarred by how quickly he dismissed her heartfelt confession.  “I...I guess...Ramen Ichiraku would be nice.”

His brows furrow.  Why would she want to go there?  Is she just saying that because she knows it’s his favorite?  Why won’t she tell him where she wants to go?

She doesn’t trust him enough?

She didn’t like that he called her beautiful, and then she turned it into a joke, too…  Excitement begins to fade into worry.  Why…  “Hinata...we eat there all the time, it’s not special to you.  You don’t have to choose that for me,” he awkwardly mumbles out.

She tilts her head and frowns, realizing the way she worded her request.  “I do want to go to Ramen Ichiraku,” she repeats, simply and clearly.  She knows for certain that they’ll both like it.

“Uh, okay,” he relents.  And then unwilling to risk making more mistakes, he starts leading them away from the compound.

They walk together, and he tries to find words for conversation, but suddenly, he doesn’t know what to say.  He’s already somehow messed up because of course he would mess up.  So he shoves his hands in his pockets and keeps his focus on the road.

After a few streets of unusually discomforting silence from him, she can only conclude that he’s bothered.  She gathers her confidence together.  “Naruto-kun?  Do you not want to go to Ichiraku?”  Maybe he actually wanted someplace fancier?  Maybe his tastes have changed?

He shrugs.  “You know I always want to go there,” he admits.  “I just don’t want us to be going there if you don’t actually want to go.”

She...she was clear wasn’t she?  She stated very clearly that she wants to go, didn’t she?  “I want to go, Naruto-kun.  I like their ramen a lot-”  She recalls his earlier hesitation.  “-And I think Ramen Ichiraku is special.”  She smiles at him.  “It’s your favorite.  That makes it a special place to me, too.”

He processes her explanation, the reasoning almost too simple to accept.  “So...I’m not, like, forcing you or anything, right?”

She smiles wider, unsure of where he’s getting the silly idea that he might be forcing her.  “Of course not.  If I didn’t want to go, I wouldn’t have chosen them.”

She’s saying that like it should’ve been obvious to him…  It should’ve been.  He forgot that Hinata’s always been easily uncomplicated with him.

“We’ve eaten there together before, like you said, Naruto-kun.  And we’ve always had a good time there, right?”

He nods, recalling the same memories that she’s referring to.  It’s sudden, a soothing balm over his nerves.  Those times back then...she enjoyed them, too.

“It’s a good place,” she summarizes happily.  “It’s a special place for me.”

Not that he wasn’t certain before, but he’s even more, completely, totally sure.

He really wants this to go well.  Not just nicely, either.  He wants Hinata to have the perfect date with him.

But he has no idea now how he’s supposed to make that happen.  The date didn’t start off the way he thought it would.  It’s not going the way he thought it would.

Hinata’s not acting the way he thought she would…

Instead, she’s acting the way she’s always been.

Has it been so long since he hung out with her?  That he forgot how easy it is to just be with her...no need for plans or strategies...that whatever he thought, well, Hinata makes it so much better than that?  “You’re really amazing,” he sighs out.

She shakes her head, believing him to be exaggerating over nothing.  “Everyone knows how much you love their ramen, Naruto-kun.”  She peeks up at his gaze, glad to see that he seems slightly more relaxed than earlier.

The storefront comes into view.

“I really did expect that we would be going here tonight,” she continues.  “My heart’s been prepared, I was thinking about this all afternoon,” she laughs, breezing over the fact that it wasn’t really Ichiraku, but spending time with Naruto, that was on her mind.

He perks up at her giggle.  “My heart never even needs to get prepared, I could walk here in my sleep!”

She nods, knowing full well that he probably already has.  “Have you come in the middle of the night before?”

He raises his brows, grinning a What do you think?, and she laughs as they take seats at the counter of the familiar establishment.  “Hinata, I’ve come here at every single hour, if not every single minute, on the clock.”

She considers that his obsession sounds a little worrisome, but it’s also just so him.  “That’s impressive!”

“Yeah, it is,” he brags, proud of being a round-the-clock customer.

Ayame comes over to them, cheerily smiling.  “Naruto, Hinata, welcome!”

“Ayame-neechan, long time no see!”

“It has been a long time, hasn’t it?  Now, what shall I get for you two?”

“I’ll get the large miso ramen with extra char siu.”

“I would like the same thing, please.”

His eyes widen, and he turns to stare at her.

“Got it!  Please wait for just a moment,” Ayame promises before hurrying off.

Hinata notices his shock, understands that it probably has to do with her order, but she still asks, “Ah, yes?”

He clutches his jacket over his heart, incredibly thankful to be here with her.  “You’re really amazing,” he reiterates, not knowing how else to articulate himself.

She hesitantly explains, “I had all afternoon to think about what I’d want.”

He nods, recalling the last time they ate here together, just the two of them.  “I almost forgot how much you can eat.”

She blushes, knowing it’s not exactly the most ladylike thing, but to the utmost of effort, they came all this way here, she might as well take the opportunity to eat.  “I-I thought it would be better if I just get the large serving this time instead of smaller servings.”

“Yeah, Hinata, I love it,” he bluntly states.  Then repeats as realization hits him, “I love it.”

Shyness freezes over her, and she timidly looks up at him.  She can remember the last time they came...

He expressed enthusiasm about her order for another serving, saying, “Wow, you’re eating a lot, Hinata!”

And she fumbled out in excuse, “I guess I’m just hungry…”  She actually just wanted to extend their time together.

He smiled widely, bright-eyed, excited, and eagerly ordered more for himself, too.

But this time, he carries that serious expression from earlier and leans down, ducking his head to be eye-level with her.  “Hinata, I love you.”

She can see vulnerability there, a precious, precious balance of uncertainty and trust.  Bare and unaffected.  He really means it.  Even at such a sudden moment as this, or maybe because it’s in such an inconsequential, unplanned moment, she knows he means it.  He really wants her to know it.  Emotion wells up, leaving no room for air, she can’t breathe, she can’t speak.

He straightens, starting to wonder at her silence, beginning to notice that he was expecting a response.

What he was expecting...the lack of anything empties him.  “So uh Shino wants to become a teacher?”

She blinks at the sudden topic.  She can’t let this happen again.  Kiba was right.  She hesitantly pulls on the sleeve of his jacket and draws herself closer.

Otherwise he won’t be able to hear her over the hammering in her heart.

She averts her eyes, feels the blush spreading over her face, and whispers, “I love you.”  She squeezes her eyes shut for a second and lets an easing breath out.

This somehow felt so much harder than her confession two weeks ago at his bedside, but the accompanying fluttering warmth here is much, much nicer.

She settles back in her seat.  Her gaze flicks up to his.

He smiles shyly, his pulse resetting double the pace as color floods his being.

He didn’t quite realize it, he had no idea how wonderful it would feel to hear those words returned to him.

He just carelessly tossed a part of himself out to her, expecting something, not knowing he expected those words, that exact piece of her given in exchange.

And it glows in him.

She can see it, just as much as she can feel the same blossoming within her.  She thinks that if only he could see himself, he would see how beautiful he really is.  She realizes she can’t let him get away without knowing she was being honest.  If she needs to work on letting him know how much she values him, she’s the one who needs to prove herself to him, not the other way around...  “Naruto-kun,” she whispers.  She can feel herself growing even warmer.  “I really do think you’re beautiful.”

Sudden self-consciousness grips him, and he focuses on her.

But she doesn’t let his puzzled expression deter her, not this time.  “Your smile is beautiful.  Your determination is beautiful.”  She looks away, down at the counter, as her bashfulness fights against boldness.  “Your laugh, and your bravery, and how you treat everyone...I think everything about you is beautiful.”

She timidly looks up to see his reaction, but he’s looking away now.  A hand works obvious discomfort from the back of his neck.

It reminds him of Rumi’s blind admiration.  Hinata doesn’t set him up on a pedestal, too, does she?  She’s always been kind to him, built him up in ways that others haven’t, but still...

“You are,” she whispers again, wondering now if she was too forward.

Certainly she thinks so...she actually wasn’t joking earlier...but he knows better about himself.  He shines a quick smile at her.  “Thanks.”

She can tell he’s deflecting.  After all the times she’s done that with Susumu, of course she would know.  She tries to think of a way to respond when a cry of “Oh, isn’t that Naruto-senpai!” and hushed murmurings behind them catch her attention.

“I haven’t seen him in so long!”

“Should we go over and talk to him?”

“It looks like he’s with someone, though?”

“That’s not Rumi.”

“Didn’t they break up?”

“I think so--”

She shuts them out, second-guessing how “hushed” they’re actually trying to be.  They want him to notice, don’t they...

He hears them, and Hinata’s uncertain look doesn’t quell his worries.  Bringing up Rumi?  Here?  Now?  The last person he wants Hinata to think about?  “Sorry,” he mumbles out.

“Oh, no,” she denies.  She should’ve expected this.  Like they said, she’s not Rumi…someone who successfully made her status very public in a short amount of time...approved by the general crowd for her cute and bubbly demeanor...

The girls continue talking, his anxiety climbing as their voices get louder with their approach.  He makes to stand.  “Maybe I should...” deal with them?

Hinata’s eyes dart to him, silently wishing that he wouldn’t pay them any attention.

It strikes him through.  “I’m not leaving!  Hinata, I just don’t want them to bother us!”

She nods, biting her lips, surprised that he overreacted.  “I understand.”

He hesitates, looking closely at her.  “I’ll be right back, I promise.”

Once he catches the renewed faith in her eyes, he smiles, sealing his word.  He hurries out past the curtain, to the group of girls’ great excitement, and he recognizes them...

“Good evening, Naruto-senpai~”  Ahh, he should know her name.

“Are you busy?”  That girl..he’s supposed to know her name, too.

The four gather around him, and he can’t quite establish any personal space.  “Yeah, I’m busy right now.” They frown and sigh, then try to invite him out with them anyway.

In the past, he’s given in, having nowhere better to go necessarily.  That’s not close to the case now.  “I’m sorry, I’m on an important date.”  He angles his body back toward Hinata.

They immediately quiet as their eyes dart to the girl, amongst each other, back up to him with much less giddiness in their gazes.

“I see, so sorry to interrupt!” one apologizes, and he thinks that’s pretty nice of her.

“We just wanted to say hi,” another says.

He smiles and nods, tries to steadily back away from them.  “Good seeing you guys!”  He gives a wave, hopefully finalizing the end of this exchange.

As soon as he sees them nod, hears them mumble out goodbyes and next times?, he blasts an appreciative grin and completely turns around.

Slipping into the seat next to Hinata has the same sense of completing a mission.  He did it, and hopefully that didn’t take too long.  He studies her...she’s not looking at him.

“I’m sorry...” she murmurs apologetically.  

Sorry?

“Maybe you would’ve liked to-”

“No!” he interrupts, catching on almost too late.  “I’m sorry!  I’m sorry for all of that, for making you wait.”

She shakes her head firmly.  “No, you were really fast, but you could’ve talked to them for longer if you liked.”

It seems he also forgot how stubborn she is.  “...I didn’t want to talk to them.  I just want to talk to you.”

Her cheeks pinken.  She frowns, brows furrowing.  

“This, our date, it’s really important to me, okay?”

She turns even redder and nods.  “This is important to me, too.”

He smiles, satisfied.  “So tell me about Shino!  He really wants to be a teacher?  What made him start thinking about that?”

She sees how much he’s trying to reassure her, and how easily he does it, too, never holding back, even in a moment like this.  He leaves no room for her to doubt herself.

So she’ll stop thinking about other girls.  She’ll focus only on him.  “Have you seen Shino-kun with Mirai-chan?”

“Your sensei’s baby?  Mmm...no, I don’t think so...”  

“He’s really, really good with her, and he’s found that he likes kids a lot.  Shino-kun's always been very empathetic, very understanding, so I think he relates to them easily.”  She goes on to tell him about Shino’s expectations for the education course, and Naruto tells her about the times he’s visited Iruka’s class to assist or demonstrate.  The kids he’s met and their terrible antics.

The conversation is easy, interesting, and Hinata marvels at how none of it feels forced.

She doesn’t have to count his good points.

She doesn’t have to add up everything she admires about him.

It’s so easy to talk with him, it’s so, so cute to see him joyfully eat his ramen, and it’s just so incredible to smile at him and receive his smiles in return.

His soft gaze is indescribably warm.  Happy.  The way she’s looked at him for so long…

To feel that from him, directed at her, it’s almost too much…

But she wants this.  She wants all of it.  To feel so free to look at him.  To let her affection for him show in her gaze.  To not have to put a cap on her love, bottle it up inside and hope none of it spills.

“Be careful,” she had told herself.  But how?  How can she possibly be careful?  How can she possibly withhold all the love she’s been hurting to give him for so long?

She doesn’t want the night to end.

But eventually, they’re walking side-by-side back to her place, slowly, slowly, until there’s no more distance left to keep.

She faces him and smiles with as much appreciation as she can show.  “Thank you for walking me home.”

“Yeah, no problem.”  He has no idea how the night ended so quickly when all they did was eat.  Usually at this time, rather than only just finishing dinner, he’d be seeing Rumi off after all of the fooling around at his place--  Simply spending time with Hinata is even better than any of that perverted stuff.  “Did you have fun tonight?”

She nods and hums her affirmation.  “I did.  Thank you for everything.”

His hands ache in his jacket pockets to hold her, but he’s going to be considerate even if it kills him.

“Did you have fun, Naruto-kun?”

He nods.  “Yeah, I can’t believe how fast the time passed.  It already got so late.”

“Mhm.”  The fluttering feeling she’s felt all night continues unrelenting.  “I didn’t notice how late it got, either.”  Only now does the dark silence of the late night seem to close around them.  Only the chilling wind creates a stir, but she failed to notice that, too.

He studies her cute, shy smile, can hardly believe that she enjoyed herself as much as he did.  “Can we meet up again soon?”

“I’d really like that.”

“I don’t have a mission tomorrow.”

“Me, neither.”

“Then, tomorrow?  I can come by around 11?”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

They both realize that the night is over.  The only thing she has left to do is turn around and head inside.

But she wonders if that’s not good enough.

She knows this was never good enough for Susumu.  And is this good enough, perfect enough, for herself?

She casts her eyes down, unwilling to let him see the wavering of her nerves.

She takes two steps, closing the space between them, and mercifully, he doesn’t back away.  Carefully, she leans into him a bit, his body warmth flushing her entire system hot.

He only just gets his hands out of his pockets to touch when she backs up, his hands left mid-air.

She’s staring at him with the funniest, shyest expression he’s ever seen.  “Good night, Naruto-kun.  Thank you for tonight.”

But he’s still trying to process the one-second hug.  “That’s not fair,” he accuses before his brain can catch up with his mouth.

“Hm?”

“You-”  He bites his lip, remembering that he wasn’t supposed to rush her.  But what’s he supposed to do with this?  How could she do something so cute and innocent?

...How innocent is she?

And with that wondering burning a small pit of jealousy in his gut, he turns his hands, showing her how she left him hanging.  “...Will you let me?”

She fidgets but nods, not making eye contact.  She takes one step forward, and that warmth surrounds her, his hands at her back, gentle.  She thinks she’s never felt anything nicer, warmer, so intimate.

To be so close to the one she loves, it’s different.

To touch the person she’s longed to touch, it’s unreal, a waking dream.  The slight rise and fall of his chest as he breathes--isn’t that alarmingly amazing?  She’s too happy.  This is what she’s wanted for so long, what she didn’t want to share with anyone else.  How could she have dared to force herself to touch another man?...  Well, she didn’t know this would ever happen.  “Naruto-kun…”

“Hinata?”

“I love you.”

He squeezes her a little closer, the intimacy of her words and body turning his face hot.  Three times now, "I love you", and each time feels sweeter than the last.  “I love you, too, really.”

“Mm.”  It’s impossible for her to distrust his word.  She tightens her grip, savoring him for one more second, breathing in his warmth, before letting go and stepping back.

She can barely look at him for how happy she is, but he’s smiling with a softness that’s as smushed up as her feelings.

He’s so beautiful.

“Good night, Naruto-kun,” she manages to breathe out.

“Good night, Hinata.”  He watches her step away, give him a final, gorgeous smile, and then disappear behind the gate.

And suddenly, he’s left alone with only his heartbeat thudding out the slipping memory of her form.

It was too perfect.

He somehow messed up at the beginning, and then those girls interrupted the start of their dinner, but everything after, everything, just being with her, and then holding her, it was all perfect.

She was perfect.

When he was with Rumi, every moment was new and strange, and so he thought that’s how it must be.

Yet with Hinata?  Familiar.  Warm.  Easy.

So comforting.

The whole night was dazzlingly wonderful.  He could sprint the rest of the way home with how great he feels, give outlet to the elation jumping beneath his skin, and exclaim his delight to the stars in rushing breaths.

But he walks, choosing instead to wallow in his happiness and count his blessings quietly.  The last thing he wants to do is tempt fate to twist up his fortunes and slide him backwards like he so rightly deserves.

One wrong move, and the universe might find him unworthy of its favor.

So he makes sure to arrive on-time again the next day.

When she steps out to meet him, she looks completely different, something about her demeanor, something about her smile.  It’s not the clothing or her hair.  Something softer?  She’s not quite the daring warrior who stood at his side in the war, who protected him in battle, who’s sealed his tenketsu in spars or had dirt streaking her arms and legs after a mission.  She’s not guarded at all.

She’s just...

This Hinata is somehow...

Still, warm familiarity flutters and warms him all over.  It’s still Hinata, but this Hinata is only for him.  He just wants to protect this.  Rather than selfish, this feeling is purer than a kiss from the sun on a breezy day.

He used to feel a kind of self-gratification, a proud slickness that settled in his gut, when he walked around with Rumi.  Each date felt like an accomplishment, each step closer to her an affirmation of his growth.

The comparison is a sickening damper on his mood, and he doesn’t dwell on his ex as they head onto the shopping arcade.  “Have you tried that new game center people have been talking about?” he asks.

She shakes her head.  She doesn’t mention that she assumed it was entertainment for kids, but they are not too old, yet, right?  She can see some young teenagers crowding around machines inside the center.  “Have you?”

“No…”

“It looks fun,” she observes aloud, noting machines filled with plush toys, screens with small dancing visuals, and the obvious tension stringing groups of friends to stay glued to their games.

He grins.  “Shall we go in?”

And she nods, pleased that she read his hidden curiosity correctly.

They investigate one of the machines that advertises its mission simulation in neon lettering.  A pixelated little man jumps around the screen, dodging what they imagine must be flying kunai and leaping across trees.  Naruto tentatively hits a round button and the screen changes, names of people scrolling upwards.  He taps a different round button and the screen shifts to instructions.

“How do we play this thing?”  He jabs at a few more buttons randomly, and the words Insert Coins flash at the top.

“Um…”  Hinata looks down at the rest of the machine.  “Over there.”

They peer at the slot.

“Okay…”  Naruto opens his wallet and slips coins in until the machine makes a startling amount of music.  He stands up straight, suddenly realizing he has no idea how the game works.  He hits a button, and the man jumps.

“Maybe these buttons make you move forward,” Hinata guesses.

He presses it and the man starts running.

“Oh, jump!” Hinata exclaims as a gap in the trees appears.

He hits the button to jump, and the man leaps up…

And falls in the hole.

Game Over flashes obnoxiously red on the screen.

They stare at it for a second, dumbfounded.

“What?!” Naruto argues.  “Why did he jump in the hole?!  Let’s try again.”

“Yes, try again,” Hinata encourages.

On a second try, he gets the timing of the trees, but only makes it to the flying kunai.  “Whaaat!” he groans.  He fishes out more coins and feeds them into the machine.  “You wanna try this?  Maybe you’ll be better than me,” he laughs.

“I think I know what to do.”  She takes over and manages to get past the obstacles.

Naruto cheers her on throughout her play, then goes silent when she comes up against another little figure.  He watches her throw shuriken at it, and eventually, the figure disappears.  In its place poofs out a scroll, which her character seems to collect.

The game alerts them that she made it to level 2, where she promptly gets knocked out by a swinging log.

“Ah.”  She watches the screen mock her in giant lettering and hears the intense music fizzle out.  “Oh well,” she sighs.

“You made it to the next level!” he congratulates her.  “Do you want to try again?”

She considers it for a second.  She gets the feeling that she could be really good at this game if she kept playing, but then Naruto might get bored.  “Maybe let’s look at the other games?”

“Hmmm.”  He scans around the room and sees one that two people seem to be playing.  “Maybe we can try something like that?”

“Oh, we can play together!” she happily observes.

“Yeah, looks like it.”

They settle on one that’s much simpler and less realistic, playing as two mice trying to collect as many blocks of cheese as possible without getting eaten by cats in a maze-like setting.  It’s surprisingly harrowing, living the life of mice, and they both cry out in horror, then laugh, when a cat finally corners them.

He watches the smile bunching her cheeks and honestly feels relieved to see that she’s enjoying herself as they try out the different games.  The new game center was a spur of the moment idea, and he didn’t actually think she would be interested.  He’s pretty certain that Kanae and Rumi would not have been too keen on playing games that seem to be marketed for children.

When they finally decide to stop and get lunch at Ichiraku, they discuss the new experience, marveling at the technology.

“It’s like a television, but you can interact with it!” Hinata considers aloud.  “I wonder how they did that?”

Naruto nods with equal fascination.  “They had all kinds of games, too.  Technology’s really changed in the past couple of years, hasn’t it, like people can have their own video recorders now.  Makes you wonder what they’ll come up with next, you know.”

She blinks in surprise.  Because actually, she hadn’t wondered about what will happen next.  “Hmm…”

“Like that video game we played with the ninja character.  Maybe they’ll make technology for shinobi.”

She tries to imagine what they could possibly need, but comes up empty.  “...Like what?”

He shrugs.  “Maybe different tools or medic-related things?  I have no idea,” he laughs.

“Hmm…  Technology that could make our work safer somehow would be nice.”

“Yeah.  Or make communication faster when we’re on the job.  There’s a lot of things we can do to ensure more safety for shinobi.  Technology might be the key to that.”

She hums in thoughtful agreement.  “You’ll be a great Hokage, Naruto-kun.”

He draws out of his musings and looks at her.  His lifelong dream is more believable to the general public than it ever was before, but it’s still surprising to hear that kind of simple confidence in him.

She just took a mouthful of ramen, so she can’t do much to address his look.  She tries to give him a closed-lipped smile and swallow as quickly as she can.  “You’re always thinking about the future for us.”

“Oh,” he murmurs, inexplicably shy when usually he'd be peacocking at the recognition.  Dazed, he slurps up more of his ramen to fill the silence.

She watches him eat through his blush, and she’s glad that at least this time, he’s taking her compliment without argument or deflection.

She sees that slowly but surely, they’ll grow more comfortable in each other’s presence.  She looks forward to the day when he’ll acknowledge all that she sees in him.  When that day will be exactly, she doesn’t know.  Around 10 years worth of admiration and love would be a lot for anyone to take on, but she’ll do her best to convey all of it to him.  In words and action.

So she lets herself enjoy his careful hug at the end of their date.  It’s still daytime, and anyone could see them, but it’s still just as amazing as the night before.  “Today was fun, Naruto-kun.  Thank you.”  She readies her heart for the separation, committing his warmth to memory, and steps back.

“Thank you, Hinata.  I had a lot of fun, too.”  He already misses her.  He can’t wait for the next time, but…  “I’ll see you when I come back from my border patrol.”

She nods.  “Be safe.”

His heart grows heavy, the knowledge of a perfect date coming to an end disappointing.  “You, too, if you get called for a mission in the meantime.”

“Of course.”  She smiles to make her promise with confidence, and she can see his promise to return safely in his eyes, too.

*

In any downtime, he finds himself musing on Hinata.  He’s eager to see her smile, hear her laugh, and hold her again.  And supposedly she’s returning from a mission today after another week apart.

So he weaves through the busy throngs of people as he heads to the Hokage’s Office.  He’ll be helping with some administration duties, and if he’s lucky, he’ll get to see her while he’s there.

He enters the spacious lobby, and instead, his hopeful look around lands on a small brunette.

Rumi with her team.

He hasn’t seen her since that awful night.  Eyes averted, he walks past them with as normal a rushed gait as possible to the stairs.

“Naruto.”

And he stops, her voice, once so intimate to him, freezing him in anxious guilt.  He turns back to see her.

Her gaze is steely, slightly pinched with a look akin to anger, but he’s not sure.  Distrust?  Hatred?  Any of those is what he deserves.

But he doesn’t have any idea as to why she would call out to him.  “Rumi,” he murmurs.

And she grimaces.  She strides forward, leaving her teammates sides, who are both in unfriendly stances toward him.  She takes an obvious breath as she looks up.  Her brows furrow, and he realizes, he’s the enemy.  “I want to hear it from you.”

He waits for clarification.

She takes another breath.  “You’re dating...Hinata-san.”

He watches how she doesn’t cry, she doesn’t look at all broken like that night.  She’s hard, defenses up, prepared for his blow.  It’s relieving, while simultaneously condemning him even more on his folly.  He misjudged her strength.  “...Yeah,” he quietly affirms.

He hears the doors open, and he looks up.

It’s Team 8.

He sees Hinata’s bewilderment at the situation, how her eyes widen, her pace slows.

“You’re the worst.”  Rumi’s voice, scathing.

He looks back to her, alarmed by such an unfamiliar tone from her.

Her eyes squint with obvious scorn.  She shakes her head.  “I can’t believe you.  I really-”  She takes a step back.  “You disgust me,” she gasps out.  She turns around, rejoins her team, and walks out without hesitation.

He stands there stunned.  He can’t bring himself to acknowledge Team 8’s uneasy presence, he can’t look at Hinata.

“We’ll go turn in our report,” Kiba murmurs.

Kiba and Shino leave.

He wishes she didn’t see that.  Then he could at least try to pretend this never happened, suppress this memory like everything else he does when it comes to Rumi.  He just wants to do better, be better.  Move on.  He doesn’t want Hinata to see what a disaster he’s been in the past.

She draws closer, though unsure of what to say.  She can make a good guess as to why Rumi said those things to him.   From what little Naruto told her at the hospital and what Sakura told her after, it seems like he broke up with Rumi so that he could be with her.  If she didn't know that, then of course Rumi would be hurt to find out…  “Naruto-kun?” she whispers.

He finally glances at her, surprised to see only concern in her eyes.  “Sorry…”  He doesn’t know what he’s apologizing for, he just feels like he should.

“No…”  She tries to dig for words to set him at ease.  It’s obvious his break-up was bad, much messier than her own.  And as far as she knows, he broke up with Rumi only about a month ago, or even less, for about the time that they’ve been together.  Was their relationship just too soon?  What can she say?

“...I’ll talk to you later, Hinata…”

“Oh, okay.”  She watches him run up the steps and disappear.  Is it her place to follow?  Or is this where she needs to give him space?

She decides to do what she must do.  First, she goes to report in with the Hokage and help her team.  Then after she’ll go looking for him, at least to tell him that she’s available.

He hurries to the Analytics Office to log data with Shikamaru.  He can bury himself in work, be productive at the same time, and hide from humiliation.

He was such a fool to date Rumi.  If he had never dated her, he would have never made such stupid mistakes, hurt her, wasted her time, wasted his own time, made Hinata wait, made Hinata date that guy, made himself sick and jealous.  If he had just figured out Hinata’s feelings sooner, or if he had figured out his own feelings sooner.

If he had been smarter or more mature.

If he hadn’t been so foolish...

She hovers in the doorway, hesitant to bother him, when he seems to be ignoring her.  But she finally steps in, making her presence obvious.

He looks up, surprised. “Hinata...Sorry, I can talk to you later…I need to help Shikamaru with all of this.”

She nods, wondering if she should have given him more space.  He already promised to talk to her later after all, and so maybe she didn’t need to go looking for him.

“How annoying,” Shikamaru groans, looking up from his journal.  “I don’t need help.”  He looks pointedly at Naruto.  “No need to put on a professional front, you missed her, right?  You can thank me later.”

Naruto gapes at his friend.  His excuse from confronting his stupid life taken away, just like that.  “There’s still a lot left.”

“Just go.”

“But I’ve only helped for less than a hour.”

“You can just come back after.”

“I-it’s okay, Shikamaru-san.”  Each of Naruto’s protests tears at her a little.  If he needs more time away from her, then she should give that to him.  She didn’t realize that she’s been getting spoiled by the last two dates.  “I didn’t mean to bother, I just wanted to tell Naruto-kun that I’m free this afternoon.”

He can feel the emotional distance he’s putting between them, but it just feels like the right thing to do for now.  His mind is so scattered with regret.  He wishes he never dated Rumi.  He wishes he never got so full of himself.  He wishes he wasn’t so stupid, so disgusting, the worst.  “...Sorry, Hinata, I don’t want to leave Shikamaru with all of this.”

“I understand.”  She smiles to show that she really does.  “Both of you are working really hard.  I’ll be checking in at home, then, okay?”

Her smile cuts him.  He’s obviously not doing the right thing, but what is the right thing in this case?  “Alright, I’ll see you later, Hinata.”  He watches her turn away, disappear from view.  But for now, just for now, he can’t talk to her.  She said she understands, right?  Can she tell that he doesn’t know what to do or say?

“What a drag.  If you’re going to look so forlorn, then why the hell are you staying here?”

His gaze darts to his friend.  “I’m not ‘forlorn’!”

Shikamaru presses his hand to his forehead, like he might have a headache.  “I don’t want to ask.  I’m asking anyway.  What happened?  You missed her all week, didn’t you?”

“...Yeah.”  He frowns at the desk, not wanting to talk about this at all.

“...And?!”

“...And I saw Rumi downstairs.”

“...So?”

“Hinata saw us.”

“........So?!  Isn’t that more reason to make sure that Hinata didn’t get the wrong idea?”

Naruto sits up, confused.

“Or are you thinking of breaking up already and going back to Rumi.  Is that what happened?”

“No!”  He stands, indignant at the suggestion.  “Of course not!”

“Then why didn’t you want to talk to Hinata?  She just came back from her mission.”

All of the fight drains out of him.  “...I don’t know what to say.”

“That’s not like you,” Shikamaru intones.  “Out of all of the times to choose to think first and act later, you’re choosing now to hesitate?”

“What do you mean?  I just don’t know how to act!  Rumi said some stuff in front of everyone, and it was really bad, embarrassing.  I’m not hesitating!”

“What did Rumi- No, it doesn’t matter.  You don’t have to say or act anything special, Naruto.  You should at least just greet Hinata properly.”

“...You’re right.”

“Of course I’m right.  Get out of here already,” he sighs.

“Yeah.  Sorry, Shikamaru.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he says carelessly and waves him off.

He runs out of the building, and it doesn’t take long at all to catch up.  “Hinata!”

She turns at his voice, surprised, but glad.  “Naruto-kun!”

He walks in pace with her, energy falling just as quickly.  “I’m sorry.”

She frowns.  “No?  There’s nothing to apologize for.  I-I’m sorry for bothering you, I didn’t mean to be impatient.”

“No, I’m sorry for...earlier, and just now...”  

The sight of Naruto and Rumi’s confrontation bothered her, but she doesn’t think she should push him about it.  She’s not sure it’s her place to ask what happened.  But she does want to know if… “Are you okay?”

He shrugs.  “Yeah.”  He still feels shitty about all of it, but it’s not like Rumi said anything untruthful.  He already knows he’s the worst.  And at least there’s some reprieve in knowing that...that he disgusts her…

She tries to assess his serious expression.  Should she ask?  Should she give him space?  Do people talk about their exes with their new partner?  In the past, he just talked about Kanae without any curiosity on her part, so she’s never had to ask before.  “...Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

She nods silently.

“Ah!!” he shouts in realization.  “I didn’t go up to her myself or anything like that, Hinata!  She asked me if I was dating you, and I said yes, and then..yeah.”

She stares for a second, surprised by his sudden outburst, but she nods even harder.  “I...I kind of thought so.”

He lets out a quiet sigh of relief.  He realizes that Hinata could have interpreted everything differently.  Like Shikamaru said, she could have suspected he approached Rumi first.  But she didn’t.  She trusted him.  Out of her forgiveness, he somehow didn’t ruin the faith she’s putting into their new relationship.  He can't take her patience for granted.  He needs to try harder.  He needs to do better for Hinata.

He stops in his tracks.

Noticing that he’s not keeping up, she turns around.  “Naruto-kun?”

“You know that I’d never cheat on you, right?”

The thought hadn’t occurred to her at all.

“You know that my...previous relationships...don’t compare to this, how I feel for you?”

She feels a blush rise.  “...Naruto-kun...you said something similar before…”  Of course she didn’t forget!

“I’m sorry I dated them, I wish I never dated them.  I wish I realized my feelings for you earlier, and I wish I only had had you this whole time.”  The regrets that clamored about his mind rush out, and in his vulnerability, he watches, afraid that he’s only reminding her of his mistakes.  Where does she draw the line in her patience?  In her forgiveness?

“N-Naruto-kun,” she stutters out, flustered, “I didn’t think you were cheating on me.”  It’s true that at the start of their relationship, she told herself to be careful, but he’s since given her the same concentrated attention that he would to a mission.  She hasn’t once felt like his affection is a lie.

“Hinata…”

She nods.  She swallows down the butterflies.  “I get to be with you now, and I’m very happy.  I’ve never been happier.  So, don’t worry about me.”

Her warm smile sets him at ease.  How fortunate is he to have someone like Hinata willing to deal with him?  And on top of that, be happy about it?  “I hope I can keep you happy.  I’ll make sure you’re happy all the time.”

Her expression scrunches up.  She doesn’t know whether to smile or reprimand him for such silly yet earnest promises.  She can’t handle it.  She shakes her head, and looks down.  “Naruto-kun, that’s too much.”

Too much?  “No, it’s not.  It’s my job as your boyfriend.”  If she’s not happy with him all the time, then she’ll leave.  It’s the very least of his duties!

She meets his gaze again, slightly perplexed.  “This isn’t your job, please don’t think of this as your job.  When it’s us, it’s just us.  Of course, I want to make you happy, too, Naruto-kun, but happiness is something we do together, right?  We’re a team?”

“A team…”

“If we have bad days, or if we ever disagree on something, we work through it together, and we come out happier together.”

“Bad days?  I’ll never let you have a bad day, Hinata!”

“W-what!” she laughs.

“I’ll protect you from everything bad, and we’ll never fight or argue or anything like that!”

“Naruto-kun!” she protests.

He knows it sounds silly, but he means it.  “I never want to make you sad or mad.”  ...It strikes him that he’s made this promise before, truly believing he would hold his end up.  And he didn't, his words far lighter and more easily broken than he could have ever realized of himself.  Now, a heavy shame he doesn't even know how to hold.

“I never want to make you sad or mad, either."  She wonders at his sudden downcast expression, if he's still thinking about Rumi, and if he always puts so much pressure on himself for his relationships.  She doesn't want to be another weight on his shoulders.  She just wants to see his smile.  "If you’re happy, then I’m happy.”  She gazes up at him, hoping he sees that she needs nothing else.  

Before her, his past guilt is forced back so easily.  Everything with Hinata is so easy.  He would have never known.  He hurt Rumi for a reason, he broke that promise because they both have better things to move on to.  Each moment with Hinata affirms his decision.  No matter how selfish it was, if Hinata's happy, then it was worth it.  She makes everything worth it.  “I’m happy if you’re happy, too.”

Pink fills her cheeks as her smile brightens.

“Thank you for being my teammate, Hinata.”

She can’t help fidgeting from his sweetness.  “Thank you for being my teammate, Naruto-kun.”

He lets her returned affection settle in, calm the vestiges of his anxiety.  He’s constantly afraid that he’s going to mess up, but Hinata makes it seem as if he’s been doing fine this whole time.

It makes him hopeful that they will last.  Past one month, today, tomorrow, next month, next year.  This is only the start, but he’s already made so many promises to make up for everything he's lacking.

At the very least, he needs to prove his word is worth her faith.

That he has love, the real thing, behind each of his pitiful apologies.

He wants to start giving, not always receiving.  Even if she says she's already happy, he knows he can do so much more.  But how?