#this is the worst one guys im sorry

[autisticlancemcclain]

prev chapter

———

There’s no alarm to wake him, this time. No blaring to startle him out of bed, no shrillness to dig into his head and distract him from the grief.

Nothing but him and the pain in his loss, sitting quietly and blankly together on his bed. 

He’s not shocked that there’s no alarm, really. What’s the point? It’s not like there’s any mission to do. Any universe they can save. It wasn’t just Lance they lost – Red was destroyed, too. There’s no Voltron without Red, and especially without Lance. They’re doomed. There’s nothing, no point to anything. They are as helpless as the smallest speck of dust. How are they supposed to stand up to Zarkon now? How is the universe’s greatest weapon supposed to destroy the universe’s greatest threat when it’s been destroyed?

Selfishly, Keith thinks that there’s no point, either. Why bother saving the universe when he doesn’t want to live in it after it’s been saved? What does he have to live for, anyway? Lance is – Lance is gone. Even just outside Keith’s feelings for him – and Keith doesn’t even want to think about that pain, that gaping hole in his chest, the crushing misery of missed opportunities and the only regretted words being the ones left unsaid – the team will never be the same. Never. Not without Lance there, a support, a smile, a laugh, the fucking endless and constant source of hope, even when he was hopeless himself. 

This isn’t something they can recover from. They will never be able to recover from this. There is no moving forward. 

Lance wanted to be cremated, Keith remembers. It wasn’t something they really talked about, death – each and every one of them avidly avoided the subject – but it had come up, randomly, on one of the nights when Keith had followed Lance to the observatory.

“They can do all sorts of weird shit with your ashes,” Lance had said the second Keith had sat down next to him, in lieu of any kind of normal greeting. 

Keith was used to it, though. If anything the non sequitur made him smile. “Yeah? Like what?”

“You can make it into art. Or a planter. Oh! Oh! Or tattoo ink!”

Keith made a face. “Don’t like that one.”

“Yeah, that one’s a little nasty,” Lance agreed, laughing softly. He was quiet for a while, chin resting on his knees, staring at the slowly-spinning projection of Earth, brown eyes soft and sad. “I want to be turned into a diamond.”

“Yeah?” Keith asked softly, scooching closer to Lance, hesitating a moment before putting an arm around his shoulders. Lance had smiled, fond and grateful, and leaned into him. 

“Yeah. So y’all can sell my remains for hundreds of thousands of dollars and dance around in the money.”

“Oh – Lance!” 

It takes Keith a moment to realise he’s smiling, feeling his tears drip down into the curve of his mouth. The smile fades immediately once he’s aware of it, once he realises that that’s all he has, now. Memories.

Seemingly out of nowhere, contrasting the blankness he’s felt since he woke up, his face crumbles, and he muffles a sob in his hands. He is never going to see Lance again. Fucking never. The nightmare was bad enough, but this is – real. Never again is he going to clasp Lance’s calloused hand in his when they pull off a particularly tricky manoeuver together. Never again is he going to see Lance smile, bright and loud and everywhere. Never again is he going to hear Lance’s voice, high and teasing, always with a pillar of support running through it, whether it be begrudging encouragement or a firm ‘here’s-how-you-fucked-up’ and then ‘here’s-how-we’ll-fix-it’. Never again is someone going to call him Mullet. Samurai. Batboy. Willie Nelson. God, Lance loved his nicknames, and Keith is never going to hear them again. Every reminder is like a boulder on his chest, getting heavier and heavier until he feels like he’s pinned to the bed, struggling to move, because there’s no point in waking up and living in a world without Lance McClain in it. 

But he gets up, eventually, because he has to. He can’t just lie there and let the world die. Voltron is…not Voltron, anymore. They’re missing their right hand. But there’s still something. There must be. Sitting here, choking on the pain of missing him – Keith can’t stand it anymore. The thought of it is suffocating. Missing Lance is suffocating. He has to get up. Up, out, he has to move, he has to be not here, in his bedroom, alone, looking at books Lance brought him every time they stopped on a planet and posters he insisted on putting up in Keith’s room and one of his sweaters still on the bedpost and the knife sheath he made for Keith on his birthday –

Keith throws himself off the bed with a gasp, stumbling down the hallway. He can’t be in his bedroom anymore. There’s too much of Lance in it.

He makes his way to the training room — it’s better than nothing — eyes barely open, breath stuttering and short and pained. Training. It might – help, somehow, keep some of the pain at bay.

He opens the door and there’s Lance. 

Alive.

Smiling.

Waving.

Alive.

“Took you long enough, sleeping beauty,” he teases. “You said you’d be here at eight!”

Keith doesn’t know what to say. What to think.

“You’re — how —”

“...How am I so gracious and forgiving of your very rude tardiness?’ Lance interrupts. He pretends to tap his chin, feigning deep thought. Keith’s chest aches. He thought — he thought he’d never get this again.

How is Lance even here? Keith fucking – he saw the pieces! Of Red! Fragmented pieces of her, shattered, drifting through space!

“Yeah,” Keith breathes. it must — it must have been a nightmare. Again.

Why, then, can you not remember falling asleep? a traitorous voice whispers. 

Keith ignores it. He doesn't want to think of a world without Lance in it. He prefers the nightmare, despite how real and painful it felt. 

“Let’s just say you’re lucky I love ya, mullet,”’ Lance says with a grin, and Keith forces the knot in his chest to loosen. It's okay. Lance is here.

They spar, fighting each other to warm up, then eventually turning on the gladiators. They climb through the levels like it’s easy — and it is, for them, for Lance and Keith, neck and neck — but soon something — something’s not right.

Something feels wrong, and Keith can’t shake the feeling.

“Good old Glad’s not pulling any punches,” Lance pants, narrowly avoiding a slice to the face. “Like I know the levels are hard, but these bots feel like they’re genuinely trying to kill u—”

Lance gasps. He looks down. 

There’s a protrusion coming through his stomach, and for a moment it looks so strange that Keith can't place it for a moment, but then the red blooms around it and — oh.

“Oh,” Lance repeats, looking down. “That’s — that’s not right.”

Keith watches, frozen, paralyzed, as the gladiator’s sword suddenly yanks upward, slicing Lance's spine, ripping through his intestines and stomach and spleen, until it yanks right back out. Lance's hand slowly makes its way to the wound, and he touches it almost curiously.

“I don’t —I — Keith?” The last word is a breathy question, like he’s asking Keith what’s going on. And Keith is —

“Lance,” he says, and finally snaps out of it. He rushes forward, just in time to catch Lance before he collapses to the ground. “We have to get you to a healing pod, we have to —”

“I don’t think — hm. I don’t —” Lance’s eyes are shut. His breathing is slow and lethargic, he’s struggling to get the words out. “Too late, I think,” he whispers.

“No, no, no, we can’t — I can’t lose you — not again — Lance —” 

The last word is almost a moan, his own moan of pain, because Keith cannot lose Lance again. He can’t. And not like this, not with Lance in pieces, rapidly bleeding out in his arms —

“It’s okay,” Lance whispers. It’s not even a whisper, really. It’s barely even words, he’s so faint. “We’re good.”

“No, Lance, no no no no, stay with me, Lance —” 

But nothing Keith could say could stop him from fading. Lance's eyes close and the only movement from his body is the rushing of his blood, spilling out onto Keith and the floor. 

The life running out of him.

Keith swallows. “Help,” he croaks, but it’s too late. It was too late before it even started. It's too late when Pidge finally wanders in, screaming at the very top of her lungs, and the rest of the team rushes in after her. Hunk throws up. Allura freezes. Coran steps forward, gently, as if he’s afraid the sound of his footsteps will somehow cause more damage.

Keith stays where he is long after Lance's ruined corpse is pried from his arms, after he’s put somewhere. After Shiro brings a bucket and a washcloth and gently wipes the blood from Keith's skin. Keith stays long after Shiro leaves, sobs caught in his throat, and uses the rag to scrub at the floor and thinks of nothing.

———

next chapter

[kendyroy]

really need to see what goes on in logan’s head whenever he interacts with wade.

i know it’s a lot of “he’s so fucking stupid” and “i can’t fucking believe this guy”

but i also imagine it’s a lot of “i love him so much. i can’t imagine life without him” and “what have i ever done to deserve this guy’s love. i don’t deserve him. he’s too good for me”

(ALL of these are affectionate btw)

[mintypsii]

people don't even say i love you anymore they just

[budugaapologist]

still dont see how so many people say that dawntrail is poorly written in comparison to other expansions like. what, did you realize you had to learn about a new culture and immediately not care anymore lmao? you've done it before, was this one not white enough for you?

genuinely i think more people should do side quests during msq so idk you can form a heart about the characters you're interacting with if you struggle with that and understand the land better so when impactful shit happens your illiterate ass can actually read and have empathy. theres no excuse for this.

if you can't handle storybuilding and character introductions from the expansion that feels like stormblood and shadowbringers had passionate gay sex that got one of them pregnant and birthed a beautiful daughter they both love and care about then idk what to tell you, maybe youre just lame and can't read. best of luck with that.

[oh-no-its-bird]

Getting deep in the self indulgence w this one chat

[mcytegg]

i think im in too deep w charmander duo. bc i was thinking abt how flame thinks very little abt bans, and how theres a genuine possibility he helps the Guardians ban people not even bc he thinks bans should matter, but just like for fun bc he doesnt think of it that seriously. which led me to thinking "wait but pangi could help him change his mind ^-^" nd now im just thinking of an au where pangi does Just That .

[dreadfuldevotee]

literally live your truth, I actually cannot stop you. But I must say, to earnestly try and argue the position that Loustat/Loumand is better than the other because either Lestat/Armand is the lesser evil, is not only the dumbest thing you could be doing with your time; But also maybe you need to watch a different show. I'm saying this for your own good.

[moeblob]

You just made me realize for the first time since I've been drawing these guys. The person I have known the longest irl (met him in fourth grade and am still in touch with him) is a Scorpio. Holy moly.

[thebirdandhersong]

Lol

[fyodior]

.

[bonebabbles]

God the new ultimate guide sucks

It's not JUST the awful art, either. The art's just worth mentioning because even if the book's info had been terrible or contained nothing new, really cute art can make it still worth having.

But, no, it's even full of recycled lines we've been hearing for years like "Bramblestar Can Match Squirrelflight's Fire Not Contain It," and that's when it DOES get everything right. These entries leave out major, important details (making them bad summaries) and are sometimes even straight-up incorrect.

SUMMARY THOUGHTS

Leafpool is said to have watched Brambleclaw kill Hawkfrost to save Firestar-- but for one, no, she was not there because Ashfur was still leading her and Squilf towards the scene. For two, no, Brambleclaw did not kill Hawkfrost just to save Firestar, it was self-defense. Hawkfrost had him pinned and was going to kill him.

They're REAL cute about Leafpool's death, too, neglecting to mention WHY the Sisters needed to be saved at all and just saying Leafpool's "generosity" lead to her death in that cave-in.

I'm not even going to get into everything on Bramble's entry jesus christ.

Sagewhisker's entry is ESPECIALLY fucken' dandy, framing Yellowfang's Secret like she was simply waiting patiently for Yellow to realize her 'destiny' and not actively shoving it on her at every opportunity.

Leopardstar's entry states that romantic interest in Tigerstar was part of her motivation. "Perhaps she'd hoped he would be her mate" please speak to a woman irl for once in your life.

Gray Wing's entry forgot that the reason he "blamed himself" for Bright Stream's death is because he was literally staring at his big strong brother too much and tripped on a root in front of him. It IS his fault she died.

Clear Sky/Skystar's entry is just obscene. "He regretted abandoning his son and after a fire, he encouraged him to live with him" instead of "saw his teenage child was useful now and bullied and belittled the kid and his uncle into letting Thunder come with him." "Retaining his fierceness towards his cats and outsiders which caused his son to leave" instead of "murdering, brutalizing, and abusing everyone around him caused Thunder to leave." I'll just say this tho; "Fierce" is an interesting way to spell "Cruel."

It's interesting that they don't point out that a major part of Jagged Peak's arc was proving he was "Just As Good" as every other cat in spite of his disability, thanks to his introduced-and-pregnant-in-the-same-book wife becoming his life coach, only earning Clear Sky's respect after being allowed to physically lead a patrol in Blazing Star. Instead they frame him finding his place through taking care of kits, which... was something he seemed to resent in the actual series, considering how the books suddenly treat Gray Wing's protective treatment of him as a terrible thing in Blazing Star because he "didn't give him a chance". But at the same time I actually strongly dislike Jagged Peak and his messy, frustrating character arc so I'm not really UPSET with it. Just... noting it. I suppose this is the official direction they're taking away from it?

Shadowstar's entry is barely even 3 paragraphs yikes.

SHORT STORY THOUGHTS

And if you're wondering if the 4 brand new stories they smooshed into the end in a desperate attempt to make the rush job worth buying are good? No. Of course not. They're all slop.

Story 1: Firestar and Graystripe

First one's a marginally cute story about Graystripe and Firestar which is setting up the framing device linking the mini-tales together. They both remember this situation where Firestar fell into a ditch wrong. The punchline is that Thunderstar remembers it perfectly and they're both like, "WOW! Too bad Thunderstar's memory sucks!"

It's not terrible, but it does feel a bit pointless. But, hey, if you want more Firestar and Graystripe in the series that tosses them fanservice at every turn, who am I to judge?

Story 2: Dovewing and Ivypool

The next one is the Dovewing/Ivypool reconciliation passage everyone's talking about. It's... fine, but immensely dissatisfying to me.

Dovewing is apparently having problems adjusting to her Clan, grapples a little bit with the fact she has no friends but is going to be finding meaning in helping tigerHeartstar "bring the new ShadowClan into existence." She ultimately decides that she needs to talk to her sister, and begs for reassurance that Ivypool believes in her, feeling that her support can help her get through this difficult time in her life.

I think its biggest problem is that Dovewing was not the right choice for the POV here.

Dove was never the one responsible for the rift in their relationship. Ivypool is. Ivypool is the one who was jealous, willing to sabotage anything that would put Dovewing closer to Tigerheart, and continues to be generally aggressive towards her. So when Dovewing is reaching out to Ivypool in hopes of them reconciling, it feels wrong because Ivypool is the one that should be reaching out to Dovewing. SHE is the one who has some things to apologize for, and to show how much she loves and misses her.

It's even kind of frustrating, because Dovewing can never catch a break. She has to have these problems to force her to reach out, Ivypool even ends up suggesting that she leave and come home and take her kids with her, but in the end even a LITTLE bit of assurance from her aggressive sister helps.

I feel super bad for Dovewing, man. She deserves better than this cheap writing. What was the point of such an unsatisfying, rushed reconciliation, shoved into a crummy field guide, when we KNOW from the newest book that they're just going to use tension between them as part of the drama anyway?

shouldn't have even been written, imo. Even ends off with, "They'll always have each other :)" which is so... cliche. It's TIRED. Are any of you really happy with just getting a retconned platitude in a good-for-nothing field guide, instead of seeing complicated, INTERESTING feelings in a main book?

Story 3: Alderheart and Twigbranch

A tale of Cherryfall getting sick during TBC and Alderheart sneaks back into the territory to treat her. Also Crowfeather has a scene where he yells at him. Charming.

Twigbranch comes up with a diversion while Alderheart does his work, which is cute. It's a fine story.

Story 4: Clear Sky

Trash. Three dogs spawn in the middle of a gathering so that Skystar can have an uwu big boy sendoff saving his grandkit. Then he goes to StarClan and throws a fit because they can't give him ANOTHER life, becoming so upset that he attacks the nearest woman. Naturally, Shadowstar brushes it off because it's not the first time Clear Sky has pummeled her in the midst of an adult tantrum and this book series thinks violence is fine if their favorite sadboy does it.

Then Gray Wing brings him to the magic mirror pool where you can see the living, to confirm that Star Flower is ok and that makes him feel better.

Then it launches into Firestar saying "ouuuugh yum I LOVE the taste of his butthole. Clear Sky is so misunderstood, He Just Loved Too Much."

to which Graystripe responds, "Yes, he was a good and amazing person and his farts smells SO good, and can you believe that some people think StarClan punished his Clan for his arrogance? As if he ever did anything wrong, ever?"

Firestar, indignant, refutes it with, "Ugh!! StarClan would NEVER be interesting, we don't punish living cats we just float around and make vague, frustrating prophecies that do nothing but pad the word count. Why cant ppl understand that, gosh."

who wrote this? Gray Wing??

[feketeribizli]

bitches who make these text posts on images compilations and tilt the text boxes just a little or crop them horribly i hope your pillows are warm tonight

[jin-zixun]

*people hate on xue yang*: yeah ok he does some questionable shit like i dont like it but i get it hes an edgy boy

*people hate on su she*: i mean kind of performative. more cringe than you think su she is but i guess i get wanting to emulate jin zixun ❤️

*people hate on jin guangyao*: stop the fucking presses this is a CRIME

[aziraphales-lawyer]

Literally no other way I could describe it right now.

[nat-20s]

Me, a known Deadpool fan: god I hope nobody thinks I'm a Deadpool fan

[artinvain]

supernatural is interesting because the writers really did their research so the episodic lore and detective work is always really capturing - and you know what they did the best? subtle racism!! stealing lore from every culture while demonising the people who originated it. oh and the micro-agressions?? don’t get me started. but they also make america look like the no-man’s-land-facist-shit-bucket country it actually is. and I love a good stupid show I don’t need to focus on because it’s so expository.