#this is so fucking funny i cant

[no-distance-left-to-run]

emma forrest deconstructing and destroying damon (excerpts from nylon magazine, 1998)

[stiffyck]

we have mumbo the sex machine and scar the breeding expert

[lowkeyren]

dear lowkey ren,

i feel as if my thoughts have been clouded taking in the fact that you're married to my wife. i have looked at your marriage certificate with dan heng and have to say that it's authentic, to my dismay. i wish you two a happy rest of your marriage and will no longer interfere with it. as of now, dan heng and i are divorced. dan heng is now only your wife. please take care of him and water him accordingly.

your friend, bell.

ring ring i was wondering why my inbox started ringing, nice to see you here again bell.

FRET NOT!!!! im willing to rent him to you on saturdays for a cheap price of 10 dabloons/hr, feel free to email me at wifestealer3000@renmail.com for any inquiries.

sent via my samsung smart fridge, highkeyren.

[sunshinerosefromthedead]

this book has many gems but i think this may be one of the greatest sentences ive ever read.

[maydayaj]

Congrats! 👑 (crown for Monarch of Male Impregnation)

I LOVE how this is the first thing that greeted me when I decided to open this app again 😭💀

[witchcraftandburialdirt]

Robin: Exists peacefully within his garden, doesn't really bother anyone and makes medicine for people. Has a few funky viewpoints because of his experiences but doesn't talk about them unless prompted.

Haru: Legit walking around Ionia spilling Noxian blood everywhere while preaching the glories of a Darkin. Openly pushes his ideals on people and is extremely harsh in his outlook towards foreigners and people who don't agree with him -

Meme Courtesy of @bells-of-black-sunday

[payasita]

being a manager sucks balls half the time but the cashier kids im in charge of trust me enough to dick around in front of me so ive been keeping a running list of the shit they say that makes me laugh randomly: -"guys, is it cheating if you play fortnite with your ex" [4 seperate others, immediately]: "YES" -"there must be like… infinite sentences" -"bro what bro what the fuck bro what's that mean bro why'd you say that bro what" <distraught response to a girl randomly greeting him with 'hey there big boy' in an old timey transatlantic news reporter accent

[colinrobinsonscardigan]

I am suffering from a lack of house MD because I can't get season 6 on DVD in region 2 and I have resorted to making my own house MD

[aardvaark]

everyones fave thieves

[mimefish]

ok so did anyone else jump at the lore potential and imagery and symbolism of joel walking down a long narrow corridor to a red door he created to end his series completely of his own volition only for the trap to not work and embarrass him in front of the spectators who were all watching at the time btw. so he just had to go off and kill himself with ender pearl spam. anyone else

[thatnununguy]

PLEASREE PLEASE SHOW MORE EQUIGAM ART PLEASE!!!!!!

When in doubt — post yaoi art. Or however the saying goes. Perchance.

[nidbaesenpai]

Context: friend got Memory of Sadness on their first friendquest to the end of the House. Big emotional whiplash but I love it, Siffrin just wants to stay in this happy bubble with allies. :)

[heartorbit]

the narcissist fools himself

[slavhew]

good ol days

[bastardlybonkers]

feetman

[transmascfalin]

i love gary so much he really gets me

bonus: