#this is so fucking funny i cant

[no-distance-left-to-run]

emma forrest deconstructing and destroying damon (excerpts from nylon magazine, 1998)

[stiffyck]

we have mumbo the sex machine and scar the breeding expert

[lowkeyren]

dear lowkey ren,

i feel as if my thoughts have been clouded taking in the fact that you're married to my wife. i have looked at your marriage certificate with dan heng and have to say that it's authentic, to my dismay. i wish you two a happy rest of your marriage and will no longer interfere with it. as of now, dan heng and i are divorced. dan heng is now only your wife. please take care of him and water him accordingly.

your friend, bell.

ring ring i was wondering why my inbox started ringing, nice to see you here again bell.

FRET NOT!!!! im willing to rent him to you on saturdays for a cheap price of 10 dabloons/hr, feel free to email me at wifestealer3000@renmail.com for any inquiries.

sent via my samsung smart fridge, highkeyren.

[sunshinerosefromthedead]

this book has many gems but i think this may be one of the greatest sentences ive ever read.

[maydayaj]

Congrats! 👑 (crown for Monarch of Male Impregnation)

I LOVE how this is the first thing that greeted me when I decided to open this app again 😭💀

[witchcraftandburialdirt]

Robin: Exists peacefully within his garden, doesn't really bother anyone and makes medicine for people. Has a few funky viewpoints because of his experiences but doesn't talk about them unless prompted.

Haru: Legit walking around Ionia spilling Noxian blood everywhere while preaching the glories of a Darkin. Openly pushes his ideals on people and is extremely harsh in his outlook towards foreigners and people who don't agree with him -

Meme Courtesy of @bells-of-black-sunday

[payasita]

being a manager sucks balls half the time but the cashier kids im in charge of trust me enough to dick around in front of me so ive been keeping a running list of the shit they say that makes me laugh randomly: -"guys, is it cheating if you play fortnite with your ex" [4 seperate others, immediately]: "YES" -"there must be like… infinite sentences" -"bro what bro what the fuck bro what's that mean bro why'd you say that bro what" <distraught response to a girl randomly greeting him with 'hey there big boy' in an old timey transatlantic news reporter accent

[colinrobinsonscardigan]

I am suffering from a lack of house MD because I can't get season 6 on DVD in region 2 and I have resorted to making my own house MD

[aardvaark]

everyones fave thieves

[thatnununguy]

PLEASREE PLEASE SHOW MORE EQUIGAM ART PLEASE!!!!!!

When in doubt — post yaoi art. Or however the saying goes. Perchance.

[nidbaesenpai]

Context: friend got Memory of Sadness on their first friendquest to the end of the House. Big emotional whiplash but I love it, Siffrin just wants to stay in this happy bubble with allies. :)

[heartorbit]

the narcissist fools himself

[slavhew]

good ol days

[bastardlybonkers]

feetman

[transmascfalin]

i love gary so much he really gets me

bonus: