#this is so disrespectful on so many levels and i can’t believe i’m still shocked by how they’re treating logan

[my-fall-from-grace]

what stage of grief do you call making shitty memes?

[anemonecoronaria]

SPOILERS

The love I hold for Miquel Moliner is the one he should have had, he deserved so much better than Nuria and Julian and the absolute shamelessness they had, especially when it came to his death. I can’t believe how much this man sacrificed for so little in return and for such an awful life, he needed better friends.

And Julian didn’t really love Penelope as much as he loved the idea and memory of her, because what he did was cheating (even if Penelope was actually dead by that time but he didn’t know that). You come back to Barcelona under the pretence that she’s still alive and awaiting your return, and in the mean time shamelessly have sex with a woman who has an unrequited love for you? It’s callous and disrespectful, and I’m shocked how the narrative glosses over this. I feel so bad for Nuria.

The only decent person in that backstory was in fact Miquel Moliner. That’s not to say that I don’t absolutely love Julian Carax and Nuria Montfort, they are excellent characters. I can appreciate the tragedy of the whole thing, and do understand why the author chose to craft his story that way, but I can’t get behind the love story between Julian and Penelope, to be honest. Whatever love he held for her, I think it was borderline obsessive, especially into adulthood, otherwise it was so clunky. I think that could have been improved upon, and Julian Carax spends a lot of time unpresent in the book, when he could have showed up more, he held a certain menace and gravitas that was lacking by the end.

However, I can overlook all of this in favour of the ambience, enchanting prose and gravity of this book. Zafon was a phenomenal writer; I could feel the brilliance of the Spanish language beneath the English translation. The characters also had so much heart and were very vivid and memorable. I think The Shadow of the Wind has a soul, which not many works of art do. If I have a criticism, it was that much was left to be desired from the female characters. All of them were two dimensional and boring, and Nuria Montfort was by far the most complex, and even then she was surface level and lacking.

My thoughts are very jumbled at the moment but despite the flaws, the fact that this novel has a heart and soul that many other books lack, raises it very easily. I fell in love with it from the very first page and this is making me ignore the glaring flaws, even if I’m not blind to them, they add to the beauty of the book in a way that’s very rare. An overall charming and gorgeous read, definitely one of my absolute favourites.

[ereawrites]

Hush

reiner braun x reader

warnings: smut

wc: 8.4k

summary: reiner comes home, even if part of him doesn’t. who can blame you for wanting to offer him some comfort against all the fucked-up things he’s been through?

Late summers in Marley come with a dry, constant heat, the kind that lasts well into the night. After so many months of sun warming your room, even the stone walls can't keep it cool - you've never been good at sleeping in a hot room, and that's the excuse you use to forgive sneaking away to Reiner again. It's selfish. You're distracting him from the war, you worry, for the sake of a little comfort for him and a little peace for yourself. You shouldn't do it, but you do.

"You can't tell the others that I'm doing this.", he whispers against your bare collarbone, exposed by your own shaking fingers that have undone the first three buttons of your uniform. You try to guide his face back up to yours with a hand cupping his jaw. Reiner leans into your touch, but he doesn't move, instead pressing his forehead against the curve of your shoulder. A shaky breath tickles your skin, and it tells you everything you need to know.

When he first came home, no one saw him for weeks, not even the servants who took meals to his room - you caught them in the corridors, of course you did, if only to ask after the wellbeing of a comrade. Pieck eventually pulled you aside and told you, with pity shining in dull eyes, that they were putting him through tests. Psychological evaluations. From what she had left unsaid, you supposed that they were testing his loyalty more than his wellbeing. They decided that he was their most loyal warrior, and they rewarded him with more battles to fight.

Now, trembling beneath you, in a chair hastily shoved back from the desk in his room, you can see for yourself that Reiner is fractured. He's strong - so strong, not broken, not yet - but he is struggling and he is alone, even months later. You smooth your palms over the taut muscle of his shoulders. "I won't, I swear - no one even knows I'm here.". You've been sneaking to his quarters for months; only to speak, at first, to let him know that he doesn't have to bear the burden of Paradis quite so alone.

Although, to be fair, you've never went so far as to straddle him in a chair. You don't know how it happened, really. You had started off perched on the edge of his desk, and one second you were reaching out to cup his cheek -already too far, presuming too much and breaking too many rules in the name of comfort - and the next thing you knew, you were on top of him.

His voice is so small. "They can't know. They already think I'm weak, I- I am, I am weak, you can't-"

This time, you tilt his face up with insistent fingers under his chin. Even after everything, his brown eyes are still the same: sadder, maybe, and crinkled at the corners with a frown, but filled with the very same gentleness he's always regarded you with. "You're not weak, Reiner. You've been through so much, and you're still here, and you've been so brave. It's okay to let yourself feel things - right here, right now, okay? That doesn't make you weak, or selfish."

Reiner closes his eyes as if he's in pain. "...I'm selfish for doing this - being here. I should be out there in the field instead of letting my heart distract me again."

Again, he says, and it sends a jolt through your gut. They never let you find out what happened on the island - Reiner isn't ready to tell you, and you don't know he ever will be - but you're beginning to realise that the man beneath you is being torn apart by the things that happened to him, and the things he did, and the things he's doing now.

"Rei,", you say gently, tracing your thumb over his lips as you lean your forehead against his. "If you don't want me here, I'll go back to my room, and we don't have to speak about it again... Just say the word."

He sighs. For a moment, you think he's going to ask you to leave. As much as you want to believe that you're only here for him, only here to support him and do what he needs, you'd be lying to yourself. Your heart sinks. He picks it back up again with his hands coming to rest on the curve of your waist. "I do want you."

And you're going to tell him that you want him too, but all of a sudden he's kissing you.

Your body reacts before your mind can even catch up: you thread your hands into hair that's more grown out than he usually keeps it, all the way down to his nape, half pulling him closer and half pressing yourself further into him. Reiner lets out another small sigh, deep in his throat. The sound makes your knees go weak - god, you like him so much, too much, perhaps he's not the only one being selfish here - and your legs sink down until your weight is resting solely on his thighs. His hands instantly fly to splay over your back, one between your shoulders and the other just above your ass, and his palms are so big that he's anchoring you against him without even trying.

"I want you,", he repeats between kisses, "So much. For so long."

Something possesses you to slip your tongue into his mouth. You shouldn't do it - you should let him set the pace because this is about him, and - who are you really kidding? He holds you as if he's scared you'll leave, and you kiss him harder. For a few moments, you don't think about anything other than how good his mouth feels on yours, nothing at all. Every time you run your hands over his shoulders, he shudders as if you've sent an electric shock through him.

Reiner breaks away for air and you nearly whine - so embarrassing, but you realise you don't actually give a fuck. There's something in his eyes that seems scared. Scared you'll leave, or scared you don't want him. You're about to kiss him again before you register the faint taste of whiskey on your tongue. "You've been drinking?"

"A few hours ago. I thought you weren't going to come tonight. Helps me stop thinking about you so much.", he admits with a low voice. The expression on his face is almost nervous, as if he's worried you're going to be angry with him about it, but the confession has your heart racing faster than it has any right to. This is about him, you remind yourself; you're glad that his hair is longer now, because you can tug gently on it, making him tilt his head back and expose the column of his throat. It bobs with a thick swallow when you press the first soft kiss to the hollow beneath his Adam's apple. You don't reply to his words. You honestly don't think you can without crying.

There's no need to rush this. Your body screams for you to, but you've been harbouring these impossible feelings for the man underneath you for months - since before he left Marley, if you're to be truly honest - and you need to savour this and he needs gentleness. Slow, chaste kisses peppered across his neck, his jaw, even his shoulders through the material of his shirt. You ghost your nails down his nape and revel in the way his breath hitches slightly. Somewhere along the way, you realise just how closely you're pressed up to him: your chest is pushed hard against his, hips almost flush, and he's still holding you close. There's a tenderness in the embrace that makes your heart hurt all over again.

"Is this okay?', you ask - Reiner's breaths are coming slow and deep, and you can't get rid of the nagging concern that this might quickly become overwhelming for him. "Are you okay?"

He tips his head back down to level his gaze with yours, and the warm brown of his irises has all but melted away into the black of his pupils. "I want to... touch you."

"You can do anything you want to me, Rei.", your mouth says of its own accord, and you still really don't give a fuck about how shameful your lack of control is, because his grip tightens, and he makes a face like you've stabbed him. You're compelled to wipe the expression away with a quick, hot kiss, just barely dipping your tongue into his mouth before pulling away again. "Anything to make you feel good again."

It's a struggle to wrap your fingers around his thick wrist, but you just about manage it, and guide his hand up to the next button of your shirt. It isn't trembling so much now. The slightest tremor, still, but you half-suspect that's due to the careful, gentle awe that you see glinting in his eyes. Reiner mumbles your name as he starts to fumble with the button. "I don't think I'll be able to stop myself after this."

"I don't want you to.", you reply quietly. Quickly, you come the realisation that Reiner's struggle with the button must have been feigned for your comfort, because he has it - and the next one - popped open before you can even gasp in a quick breath. His lips chase his fingers, so, so soft, trailing down each new piece of skin he exposes (when did you start burning up?) and you find that you push back up on your knees instinctively; high enough for his mouth to be able to reach the space between your breasts and, god, it sends fireworks shooting up your spine.

You hardly pay attention to the last few buttons of your shirt being undone - Reiner's lips on your chest see to that, kissing slowly, almost reverently, around the curve of your chest, just underneath each breast and then back up to your collarbones. It's only now that you recall your decision not to wear a bra. It was already late when you left your room, past midnight, and you couldn't afford to be seen sneaking around looking as though you were dressed to actually go somewhere. 

Besides, Reiner has never been disrespectful to you in any way, never leered at you like some of the other men in the compound. A simple cotton button-up and slacks had seemed the obvious choice. A bolt of worry flashes to the forefront of your mind: what if he thinks you only came here for sex? He means so much more to you than that, you don't want him to think-

His hands ground you. One has slipped beneath the material to rest on your bare waist. He's just brushing the skin, and he's staring at your lips, and he looks as if he's terrified and in awe and maybe something else, all at once. The fingers of his right hand play with the edge of your shirt. He has callouses on the pads of his fingers - a lifetime of too much work and not enough gentleness. This is about him, you remind yourself. You nod, pressing a kiss to his forehead, and then another, and he starts to slip the shirt away from your body.

Reiner whispers, "You're beautiful." against your neck before he's even looked at you. "So beautiful. Sometimes I think you're an angel." An already weak protest dies in your throat when he dips his head to start kissing your neck - real kisses this time, warmer and faster and with a hint of tongue, and although it pains you so much to release your grip on his hair, you do it so that your shirt can fall forgotten to the floor. "Too good for someone like me."

Hushing him comes easily, even if hearing his words is hard - you've spent months trying to soothe him and help him with words, so maybe now is the time to show him with actions instead. Reiner is the one who's too good for you, too good for this world in fact, a world that has done nothing but abuse him. You have to stop thinking and start feeling, both of you. He actually makes a tiny grunt of protest when you push his face away from your neck in order to peel his shirt away. It's selfish, you know, to run your palms up his abs and chest when you do it, just as it's selfish to stare shamelessly at his arms when he raises them to tug the shirt over his head, but Reiner catches you doing it and, for the first time in weeks, he smiles.

"You're beautiful too, Rei. I've thought so for a long time.", you say into a kiss that's already started. His hands are at your hips and your arms are wrapped around his neck, you're so close to him it hurts, so close you feel every last bit of self-control slipping away; he pulls you closer, kisses you harder, lets your tits press up against his bare chest. You kiss him until your lips are swollen and you're panting for air. No one's ever made you feel like this: so safe and whole and damn hot with just a little kissing.

Then, you adjust yourself in his lap, and you feel that he's half-hard in his pants. Honestly, you doubt your own underwear is in a much better state. Still, you can't help the way your breath hitches: Reiner's jaw tightens, probably because of the inadvertent friction, but you feel the heat spreading over your cheeks. You both want this, of course you do, but it's still shocking to feel the evidence of his arousal. And that's without even thinking about how big the bulge felt in that one little instant.

Reiner tugs you backwards by the hips and you're scared that he's become overwhelmed. He steadies you as soon as your ass is resting further down on his thighs, though - the loss of skin-to-skin contact draws a small whine from you - and starts kissing down your neck again, leads your hands to support yourself on his shoulders, and now his hands are on your tits. It starts off fairly slow. Not quite as gentle as before but the reverence is still evident. An angel, he said, and he touches you like you are one. He claims to be a monster but he treats you so well:  licking at your collarbones and kissing your neck, swiping those calloused thumbs over your nipples until they harden, pinching so gently and just right, making the breath shoot out of you in a shuddering moan. The scolding he gives you sounds entirely absent. "Got to stay quiet, sweetheart. No one can know you're here."

"I-", forced to bite your lip when he rolls your nipple between his thumb and forefinger, "Sorry. I know. Just - feels good."

"It's what you deserve."

God, Reiner makes you totally weak and he doesn't even seem to know it. His voice is quiet as ever. You always have to speak lowly when you're here, in case someone hears and they keep you from seeing him again - but it's dropped so low, and it's got just the littlest bit of rasp to it. He sounds desperate. You're pretty sure you can actually feel the dampness in your underwear now. Torn between sitting there and letting him play with your nipples for hours, and just unbuckling his belt right now and riding him in his desk chair, you're so close to becoming overstimulated and simply melting into his arms, but he makes the decision for you.

The way he leans even further down to wrap his lips around one nipple must be uncomfortable for him, he's so tall, taller than you even when you're sat on top of his thighs like this - he must enjoy it, though, because he groans lowly as his tongue swirls around it. You nearly have to clap your hand over your mouth to stifle a moan, and he clearly knows you're going to need extra support staying up, because his now free hand slides around to hold the base of your bare back. "Oh my God-", you hiss. You're almost certain you feel him smile again.

"Rei. Is it okay if I...", you manage to pant out, gesturing to the zipper of your slacks, after a few more minutes of indulgence - after seemingly being satisfied with the attention he gave one breast, he had switched to the other, making practically inaudible noises each time your hips canted against his broad thighs. One day, if he lets you do this again, maybe you'll ask him to let you get off on the hard muscle of his quads. You'd like to feel his arms around you as you fall apart.

His fingers slip just below your waistband. They're so, so close to where you need him, and your body is so hot, and Reiner's must be too because his pecs are starting to glisten with sweat. "Please.", as if he's on the verge of breaking with how much he wants you - it would sound conceited to believe, but you see the way he's looking at you, you feel the way he's touching you. It wouldn't be fair to deny him of the only emotion he's allowed himself in a long time.

Of course, he waits for you to nod your consent. Those warm, fractured, black-brown eyes swallow you up so much that your whole body is set ablaze as he slowly undoes the button of your trousers. You at least had the good sense to wear acceptable underwear, although you suspect Reiner will want that gone, too. He's seeming to grow harder with every bit of bare skin he manages to touch. As he drags the zipper down at a pace much too slow for your liking, he murmurs, stand up for me, sweetheart.

You do, in the space he makes for you between spread thighs, and the thought of being away from him right now is so unbearable, that you press your knees up against the chair to keep the closeness. Reiner looks up at you for a moment, cheeks a little red and lips a little swollen, before his eyes are on your body and your trousers are being tugged gently over the curve of your ass. The heat in your stomach grows even more intense when you literally see his mouth drop open at the sight of your underwear, and he blushes harder when your thighs are exposed; you're tensing them together to relieve some of the pressure, you realise, but Reiner's easily strong enough to get past that. He even leans down to caress your calves as he pushes the slacks the rest of the way off.

"I would have dressed up for you a little more, if I had known this was going to happen.", you half-giggle. It's been a long time since anyone has seen you like this. You're not exactly ashamed of the fact that there's most definitely a damp spot on your underwear - one that Reiner hasn't noticed, too preoccupied with kissing your lower stomach and squeezing your thighs - but it's an intense feeling, finally being in a moment that you've tried so hard to stop imagining. Reiner huffs a small laugh in return against your abdomen.

"You're stunning. In anything.", he says, just before he lays a kiss to your pussy through the material of your underwear. He must feel the wetness because he groans, too loud, and then he licks. You gasp. Even that small action feels so much better than your own fingers ever have. Visions fill your head: sitting on the edge of his desk, watching him eat you out, those huge hands holding your hips in place until the skin bruises, those beautiful eyes staring up from between your legs - he twines his fingers into yours, and brings them to the waistband of your underwear. You catch the hint right as he leans back into the chair again.

Stripping in front of him puts a lump in your throat. Rei is kind but he's huge, especially when he's spread out in his chair like that, with a sweat-slicked broad chest and thick thighs and a bulge that you worry might actually tear through his trousers, and you feel so vulnerable to do this just in front of him, where he can reach out and swallow you up at any moment. It's so incredibly hot. There's no need to put on a show. He watches you as though you're the most beautiful thing in the world anyway. You do it for him regardless, though, as well as you can. You take it slow, being sure to drag your hands over your thighs in a way that feels silly and sensual all at once. When the lace reaches your knees, his hand is there next to yours, and you take it for balance as you step out of your underwear completely.

"Fuck...", he remarks under his breath. His thumb traces absent circles over the back of your hand while he drinks in the sight of you. Perhaps it's because of the dim lighting, the room lit only by a few candles and a lamp in the corner, but you feel like he looks at you too hard, for too long, for someone who isn't supposed to care about you. Your stomach lurches and you feel your inner thighs begin to become wet. You won't take this from him, or yourself, not when the dark look in his eyes is making your pussy clench like this. He holds your hand the entire time he looks at you. "So pretty. C'mere."

Instantly, you're settling back on top of him. The fog in your mind means you don't even question how compliantly you react to his baritone. His left hand snakes around your back again to hold you steady, and you're not quite sure if your hand guides the other to your inner thighs, or if he does it of his own accord. Either way, he's ghosting calloused fingertips over the damp skin there as soon as you make yourself comfortable. "Ah- please.", you whimper.

Reiner probably doesn't mean to tease you, but you need him, you need something to touch you before you go insane. You plead with him again, saying his name this time, and he swallows thickly. The sound that leaves your mouth when he runs a finger up your slit is pitiful. He responds so well, though, repeating the action a few more times before he pulls his hand away. "You're so wet, god."

His voice is rougher than you could ever have imagined. Another clench of your pussy, and you see his eyes widen at the strings of wetness connecting his thick fingers. Your own tone comes out far too high and shaky. "You just - I can't help it, you make me feel... something, I don't know, I-", and it tapers off into a senseless whine when his fingers start to trace lines over your pussy again.

"Relax, angel. Gonna make you feel good like you deserve, I promise.". The reassurance is murmured between your breasts, where he's licking away the salty dampness rapidly collecting there - Reiner clearly wants all of you, every part of you, just as much as you want him. He keeps up the motion for a little longer, spreading your wetness around, until your clit swells up so much that it catches on his finger every time he passes over it. Each gentle bump drags another stifled gasp out of you. No one can know you're here, no one can know that Reiner's grabbing the flesh of your ass and rubbing your pussy, but he sure as hell doesn't make it easy for you.

This time, he doesn't run his finger straight over your clit. He stops moving as soon as your body reacts to the touch - he's right on the most sensitive part of you, and he presses with the smallest bit of pressure, just enough to have you grasping wildly at his shoulders for something to ground yourself on. You're so worked up that it feels more incredible than you would ever have imagined. He's so perfect and good to you, and he doesn't stop there: he begins to trace slow, steady circles directly onto your clit - your body jerks of its own accord, but his forearm around your waist is big and strong enough to pin your hips in place against his hand.

"Oh- Rei-", you moan. You definitely see his cock twitch. Maybe it's a trick of the light, but you're pretty sure you can see a considerable damp spot forming on his trousers, too.

"God. I always knew you'd sound pretty."

The rasped confession has your hips trying to buck again. Reiner's finger starts to move a little faster. The increased pleasure means you're faced with moaning too loud and getting caught, or finding some other way to occupy your mouth. You're panting when you ask, "You've... thought about doing this?"

"Yeah. Too much. I- I'm sorry-", Reiner admits as he mouths your nipples, sounding hardly sorry at all. You envision him fisting his cock to the thought of you right as his middle finger leaves your clit and pushes inside you to the first knuckle,"-I couldn't help myself, I never can around you."

"Shi- I think about you too.". Mewling, your upper body collapses so it's leaning against Reiner's strong torso, your lips against his temple, his head buried in your neck, his arm keeping you steady as he works his finger into you. Senseless blabbering is all you can manage, spilling your filthy secrets into his ear without an ounce of shame. "When I touch myself. I - oh-", turning your face into his hair when his finger catches on that sweet spot inside you, "- I think about you, I always imagine it's you, your fingers, your cock-"

His finger finally, finally is fully inside you, although Reiner is already eagerly pushing another into you; this one makes you feel the stretch, hot and full in a way that even three of your own fingers can never achieve. Shuddering, another moan of his name, clawing at his shoulders - your body welcomes him even if it's a difficulty, gushing more wetness onto his palm until he starts to scissor his large fingers inside of you, stretching you out until tears are pricking your eyes in protest of how good it feels.

"Wish we could do this where no one else could hear."-and so do you, you want Reiner to know just how good he's making you feel- "You sound so pretty. Do you... think you can take it..?", he mumbles, and you know he's talking about his cock, inside you - two of his fingers have you writhing, so the thought of his cock has your eyes rolling back in your head. He crooks his fingers onto your sweet spot right as you open your mouth, almost like he wants the risk of you being too loud and getting caught.

"Please, Reiner, I want to!", you respond a breathy whine, all of it rushing out of you at once before he can catch your g-spot again. You start to snake a hand into the cramped, hot space between your torsos. All you can think of is how good he'll feel when he's inside you. "Let me-"

"Not yet.", he groans, curling his fingers again, and again, not stopping, and he sounds genuinely authoritative for the first time. Your body goes weak, but you'd stop moving for him anyway. "Come on my fingers first. Wanna get you nice and wet before you take me, okay?"

"Fuck-", you cry. The motion on your most sensitive spot just isn't stopping, he's found where he wants to be - the callouses on his fingers are making the friction even more perfect, especially when he brings his thumb to retrace those slow circles on your clit. He keeps it steady for a few minutes - could be hours, or seconds, all you know is that it feels too good to care - and the pressure inside you is becoming something else. Reiner is taking his time with every motion, but that's exactly what's bringing you to the edge so fast. His fingers are so thick and the pressure on your clit is so good, that's it, you're starting to shake in the kind of way that leads up to an orgasm that makes you go blank in the head. You fold into the way he holds you and you let go.

Rei lets a strained grunt out. "That's it, come on, you're taking it so well. You're dripping onto my leg, that's exactly what I want, my angel.". So wet that he can feel it through his trousers, it's so humiliating and Reiner obviously loves it so much because he groans again when you start to clench on his fingers, picking up the pace of his movements and you can hear how wet you are and it must be all over his bare forearm-

"I'm gonna-", you try to warn him: he coaxes you into it, come on, please and you cum hard.

The behinds of your eyelids go white, or black, you have no way to tell. Your entire body feels weightless, grounded only by his arm around you, and his fingers must keep curling inside of you because the waves of pleasure don't stop, they just keep coming, hitting you until every part of your body is alight and molten for him, and you're very vaguely aware of your own hand covering your mouth. It takes longer to come down from it than it's ever taken you.

Then again, no one has ever ripped an orgasm that strong out of you.

"Are you okay?", Reiner asks. His fingers are no longer inside. He's rubbing soothing patterns into your inner thighs, and either your thighs are soaked or his hand is; your muscles feel like jelly, but you just about manage to support your own weight again, leaning back so you can look him in the eyes. There's wetness on your cheeks, maybe tears, and Reiner looks at you with clear concern through blown pupils. It's so endearing and sexy that you have to smile. It must relax him, given how he returns it with a soft one of his own - you notice marks on his lower lip, like he bit it to hold back a sound, perhaps.

You kiss him softly to soothe the pain, whispering into his mouth, "Can I have you inside, now, Rei?". His hands come to grip your waist hard. You know how you must sound to him: fucked out after his fingers alone, speech slurred and pitchy from the aftershocks of your orgasm, asking for his cock. And yet, he still waits for you.

"...Are you sure you want me?". You nod in response. He picks you up like you weigh nothing at all, not even letting out a breath of exertion, and your shaky legs wrap instinctively around him as he stands from the chair. For a moment, Rei just holds you there, kissing you with an indescribable, soft kind of intensity, letting you run your hands over the biceps and triceps that aren't even straining with the effort of holding you. His bed is close, but obviously too far away for him, so he places you down onto the edge of his desk. You separate from the kiss, only meaning to glance down to adjust yourself - falling off the desk would be a great way to kill the mood - when you see it.

"Oh - oh my god, the window is open..!"

It makes sense; he knows you don't like a hot room, he's kept his window open in the evenings ever since you told him that weeks ago. Why didn't you check? Everyone else should be asleep by now, but... Porco's room is so close to Reiner's, and if he's somehow awake with his own window open - you move to hop off the desk. Reiner cups your cheek in his hand, drawing your gaze back to him, and suddenly all thoughts about the stupid window disappear.

"It's okay.", he promises. "They won't hear if we're careful. I'm going to be so careful and slow with you, I swear."

God. You look down and you're reminded of exactly why you're so worked up - there is definitely a wet spot on his trousers, he must be leaking for you, and the thought of that cock slowly working you open drives you to start fumbling with his zipper. This is the first time your hands have been near that bulge and they look positively tiny in comparison. You worry if he's going to fit, briefly, but Reiner promised to be careful and you're more than ready for him. Without even bothering to fully remove his slacks and underwear - you just tug them down to his upper thighs - you're met with the full sight of him.

It's so much bigger than you would have thought, even generously, fuck; you're pretty sure your jaw actually drops when it springs free from his underwear, slapping against his taut abdomen. It's long, enough to make your mouth water, with a nice, prominent vein on the underside, but the most impressive part of him is the thickness. Even the head is fat, curved upwards somewhat, and he's leaking so much that a bead of precum rolls down his cock within seconds. You rip your eyes away to look up at him and, somehow, he looks embarrassed. You can't stand to see him like that, not when every part of him is so perfect and handsome, so you wrap your hand around his cock and begin to stroke gently.

Your fingers just barely touch around his girth. His precum slicks your palm, though, making it easy enough to set a nice, slow pace of pumping him, watching how his brow instantly furrows. "Holy shit - ah, use both hands, sweetheart, please -". Reiner doesn't need to ask twice: you spit into your other palm to offer him even more slick, then bring it to join the other, relishing in the choked gasp he makes. Even stroking him with two hands, there's so much of him you can't hold at once.

He's beautiful, you think, with gritted teeth and head thrown back. Right now, you could happily stroke him for as long as he wants, as long as he needs to spill himself all over your hands, but he only grants you a few short moments and a low hiss before he's carefully pulling your hands away.

After a kiss to the knuckles of each hand, he cups the back of your head and leans over you, bringing your back flat against the desk. "Lie back, just like that.", and your legs wrap around his waist without having to be told. There's the briefest flash in his eyes, a feral glint when you tug him closer using your thighs, but then it's gone, and he's tenderly holding your head so it doesn't rest directly on the hard wood of the desk. "Want you to look at me when I'm filling you up, okay? So I know you're okay. Can you do that for me?"

Reiner is going to fuck you, you realise. He really is going to be inside you. This isn't a dream, not the fantasy you have when you're touching yourself after returning to your own room. Reiner is above you, pumping his cock in his fist, staring at your aching cunt as he does it.

"Anything.", you whisper. He dips his head to kiss you once more, then props himself up on his elbow so he can watch your face. The first brush of his cock against your core has your hips bucking, rolling, rubbing yourself up and down his length like a bitch in heat, and he lets you do it, looking into your eyes and smiling when his cock head catches on your hole. Your ankles lace behind his back to pull him down onto you, just as his hips make the first small thrust, and suddenly he's inside you.

It can only be the first inch or so, maybe not even all of the head, but it hurts and you have to bite down on a cry of his name. It hurts and it feels amazing. Nothing has ever stretched you out so much, and you can feel yourself dripping, trying so hard to accommodate him, because your body needs him just as much as you want him; Reiner groans at the first spasm of your walls, much louder than he should be with an open window, but who gives a fuck if Porco hears - it hurts but you nod for him to keep pushing, go deeper, stretch you out around all of his cock.

Reiner begins to pant once he gets the second inch in, going slow for both of your sakes, sweat beading at his temples. "God, you're so - tight-", as he stuffs more into you, watching you whimper and watching your eyes roll into your skull, "-like you're..made for my cock, huh, fuck-"

His voice dissolves into a growl by the end. You roll your hips, all the way up off the desk, and the movement has even more of him inside you. "Oh." You moan, and you think you're tearing up again. Reiner kisses at the edge of your eyes. The sensation is so perfectly overwhelming, the slow drag of his cock as it threatens to split you open, and coupled with the sounds he's making on top of you you're in total bliss.

Both of you go on like that for a while, slowly rolling your hips against each other and stifling noises as well as you can. Marks left on his back by your nails can be hidden, and the red-hot kisses he peppers over your tear-streaked face will fade away. By the time the tight fight has stopped hurting - still intense, maybe too much, but only good - his hips are flush with yours, and he's completely still. His free hand yet again keeps your hips from bucking. You've done it, you realise. You've taken all of his cock and it feels incredible. But he won't move.

Reiner barely starts to speak before you're begging. "Does it feel good-"

"So good, Rei, so fucking good - you can start moving, please."

He doesn't need any further encouragement; the first thrust is shallow, slow, only pulling out a few inches before working his way back into you. Still, when his hips bump against yours again, there's a sharp flash inside of you and he's actually hitting your cervix, fuck, you gasp so loud that he has to muffle it with his tongue in your open mouth. He holds it there for a few seconds before repeating the motion, letting himself fall into a rhythm as you pant and sob into his mouth with each thrust, clutching desperately at his back while every thrust gets deeper. Within a few minutes, he's pulling out almost to the tip each time - only the thick head left to fill you - before slowly, slowly pushing back in.

"You're taking me so well, my angel.", Reiner praises through a ragged breath. Even fucking you slow, he's struggling to contain himself. "You feel so good around me."

"Then, go fa-faster, Reiner, please - I can take it, I promise, just-!"

His hips snap against yours like a gunshot and you're completely filled again in a heartbeat. Your cunt clenches around him as you moan, throwing your head back, and Reiner collapses onto you. His body covers you completely even as he keeps the weight off by leaning on his forearm, letting you feel the drag of your nipples against his skin when he stuffs you with his cock so quick again, he's kissing your jaw and now you have nothing to silence your cries with other than your own hand, heaving for breath through your fingers as he starts to rut into you. The fingers on your hip pull you against him every time he bottoms out, pushing his cock even deeper, and you think you feel him smile against your neck when you gasp, "God, you're so deep."

The faster, frantic pace means that the room is filled with the sound of his skin slapping against yours, especially when you ask him to go harder and stop holding back, Rei, because you can take everything he has to give you. That perfect curve near the head of his length keeps catching on your g-spot - Reiner knows how to find it, he's hitting it too often for it to be an accident, angling his hips just so and matching each of your moans with one of his own. He must get off on watching you come undone underneath him, falling apart on his cock, you think, because you feel him pulse inside you every time you brokenly sob his name.

"This what you need? Am I giving you what you want, huh, sweetheart?", he rasps and it's not demeaning or teasing, he means it, he really means it- "Am I making you feel as good as you deserve?"

A particularly deep thrust has your toes curling at his back. "'S so good, yeah, feels so good, wanted you for so long-"

Your speech is slurring from the shocks of pleasure he's sending through you. Between the jolts to your cervix, the constant pressure on your g-spot, the way his body is rubbing against your clit with each rapid thrust of his hips - his lips on your neck and his grunts in your ear - you're going to cum again, you tell him, and he shoves himself up off the desk to stand upright. The change in position has your legs falling away from his back, and you scramble pathetically to adjust your hips so his cock will be deeper again, but his hands catch your thighs and easily overpower you. Both forearms slip underneath your knees, so your legs are hanging over his arms, and his hands grab either side of your hips to slam you back onto his cock.

"Holy shit- you feel even tighter like this, does that feel good? C'mon, answer me, tell me it feels good, please-"

"Yes!", you sob, and you can't give him any more than that because having your legs raised means he's right on your g-spot: all you can do is stare up at him through bleary eyes and admire how good he looks. His abs clench with every thrust, and his arms look so big holding your legs up like that. God, you're so close, just a little more - you reach down to play with your clit but Reiner pushes your hand away and pleads, "No-" and one of his hands slips around your leg to find it himself. Of course he finds it, you're so swollen for him, and he's rolling it between two fingers before you can clap your palm back over your mouth. You all but squeal his name.

"That's it, sweetheart, that - that's it, fuck, clench around me, please, want you to cum again, wanna feel you cum on my cock-", he says. You just barely hear him through the pounding in your head and the sound of your own desperate panting, and god you want to please him, you'd do anything for him, this is all for him, remember, so even though you don't know if your body can handle it, you nod. You shove your own fingers into your mouth to keep yourself quiet, the ones that he was dripping precum over when you stroked his cock, and you let Reiner slam into your g-spot and rub and pinch your clit until you're coming again.

Reiner doesn't slow down, he doesn't stop toying with your clit, he keeps telling you how perfect you feel when you squeeze him like that - you somehow feel and hear it all even though you can't understand anything other than the fire spreading through your nerves and into your limbs, consuming every part of you as he keeps fucking you - it's so intense that it doesn't last more than a few seconds, it can't, it's too much, you're starting to drool around your fingers when you come down - and then he tells you he's close in the loudest moan you've heard yet, and you're coming again-

You come back to your senses trembling, boneless and crying with pleasure. "Gonna cum for you.", he says, pressing down on where his cock bulges through your stomach. "You did so well for me.", and it takes everything you have to reach out for him. Reiner pushes your legs down to your chest so he can interlace his fingers with yours: you're almost sure you're still coming because your body spasms under him, your throat constricting in a soundless cry, but you don't take your eyes off him. He keeps you safe in his gaze for the final few thrusts, and then he takes your hand down with his as he pulls out, and together you stroke his cock so he can spill himself all over your stomach.

There's so much, you dully register. You don't watch because you're too caught up in his face, how his brow finally relaxes and his lips part so nicely, how he looks so at peace and so happy. You don't watch but you definitely feel his cum on your body. It's all over your stomach and chest by the time he finally stops stroking, finally opens his eyes again. It's strange: he must have fucked you so silly that you think he's looking at you like man in love.

A man in love, and covered in sweat, and exhausted. You smile despite yourself. "'S heavy. Get off."

Reiner lays a kiss to your forehead before doing as you say, leaving you to close your eyes and recover on the desk. He has a washbasin in the corner, you recall, when you hear the noise of water: he must be cleaning himself off. Then, the sound of footsteps, coming back towards you. He sounds tired and hesitant when he says, "...Do you want me to clean you...?"

For some reason, you blush. You've just had sex with Reiner - for his sake, you remind yourself, to let him know that it's okay to feel things again - and yet you're embarrassed over that simple offer. Then again, you only came here tonight to talk, to offer him some comfort on a day that you suspected had been a bad one. Sex is one thing: against the rules, but forgivable, a way for him to get rid of some of his frustrations and get his mind back on the mission. That's what you'll tell them, if they ever come asking. The intimacy of cleaning each other is a different matter entirely.

But no one ever has to know. Neither of you will ever tell the others that you're doing this, right? "Please.", you whisper, and you keep your eyes closed as if it makes it okay. Your brain is still heavy and fogged, but you don't miss how carefully and tenderly he touches you as he wipes you down - such a big man, being so gentle with you even now. You wouldn't blame him for asking you to leave now. In all good sense, this was a mistake, one that neither of you should speak of again, and it's in both of your best interests to move on as fast as possible. He won't have to know when you remember this night when you-

Reiner calls your name, and you reluctantly open your eyes. It's selfish, but you don't want this to end. He must have finished cleaning you and discarded of the washcloth, because he's already changed into a fresh pair of sleep pants, and he's holding up a shirt to you. You take it with a sigh.

"I'm sorry, Reiner. I shouldn't have... I shouldn't have come onto you. I've put you in a bad position and I really am sorry. I won't tell anyone that this happened.". The words pain you to say, but you know that you should apologise, and you give him a sad smile as you pull the shirt over your head. It's only when you catch the scent that you realise that this isn't your shirt - it's his. The questioning look you shoot him when your head pops out is met with a hand offered to you.

"I... meant what I said about wanting you. Not just for sex.", he says, although he looks scared to say it. "You mean more to me than that, you know. You make me feel like I'm more than what I've done. I know it's wrong, but-"

"-it's not wrong!", you blurt, and Reiner's eyes widen like he was expecting you to agree with him. "You are more than what you had to do, okay? I promise. To me, none of that matters, because I know you're a good person at heart. All of us know it."

That little interjection is exactly what you've been telling him for months. This might be the first time he looks as though he's beginning to believe it. You take his hand, smiling as much as you can even though you're still fighting the shame of what you just did, and Reiner says, "Stay here for a few hours - please. You'll sleep better, my room isn't as warm. Go back to your room before wakeup call. No one has to know.". He leads you to the bed and he lets you hold him, and you pretend that you don't hear him crying when he thinks you're asleep, or how he whispers that he thinks he might be in love.

[ageofevermore]

Eighteen | T. Holland

Summary → you’re tired of feeling like the world silences you, but after an interview with sebastian and anthony, you start to wonder if maybe it’s your fault.

Warning(s) → mentions of anxiety, mentions of sexual harassment, mentions of inequality in gender roles, use of the word slut, fluff if you squint 

Word Count → 1.9k

Note → this is a heavier topic, one that might be personal to some. if you don’t think you can handle the subject matter, please don’t force yourself to. this is relatively watered down, but it doesn’t take a genius to see what’s not being said. the ending features boyfriend!tom consoling the reader, so it does end on a fluffy note, but don’t hold out for those few ending paragraphs. 

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It’s getting hotter in the interviews. A thin layer of sweat sparkles on your skin, and even though the air conditioning has been turned down multiple times, there are too many people in the room to feel any drastic differences. It’s unfortunate for you. Hot flashes are a lovely addition to your anxiety disorder, and press always sets your nerves ablaze. It doesn't matter what project you’re promoting, who you're partnered with, or what you're wearing-- you’re always hot. 

Your cheeks are flushed dangerously when the last interview before lunch is called for yourself, Sebastian, and Anthony. This is your first press tour as an adult. You joined the marvel franchise years ago, when being eighteen felt like the equivalent of turning thirty, and you weren’t blind to the changes of tone. People were harsher to you, more forward. If they weren’t shutting you up, they were hinting at something less then appropriate, usually something sexual. 

The next interview started with a short introduction to the media outlet, and your interviewer. He was middle aged, kind smile, salt and pepper hair. He asked for your names, then he told you his, and one by one he shook your hands. His grip on you was criminal, lasting longer than was comfortable. Sebastian and Anthony we’re oblivious to the few extra seconds of contact between you and him, but it made your skin crawl in a familiar discomfort. 

Your fingers curled into fists, heart high in your throat. The questions started out easy. They were mostly directed towards the boys, like always, but this time you couldn’t find yourself to be annoyed. You had dealt with handsy and sexually charged men before, but he set a fire beneath you. It wasn’t behavior you should tolerate, but being a woman in the industry, inappropriate touches and glances we’re easier ignored then dealt with. When you spoke up you caused drama, made headlines, attracted nasty social media comments that called you a whore. It was easier to just internalize. 

“Y/N.” 

You hummed, looking towards the call of your name. He was smiling sweetly at you again, a predatory glint in his eyes that put you on edge. You shifted your weight closer to Anothony unconsciously giving the hungry man your professional attention and a nod. 

He shuffles through his index cards, but his eyes don’t read the scripted questions his employers have supplied him with. It’s not often male interviews do their own research, usually they’re briefed by a colleague and handed a set of questions and topic point by a higher level employee, but this man doesn’t even read the card before he’s staring you down and opening his mouth. 

“You finally got the Stark suit update,” He says, motioning towards the promo poster that shows off your CGI suit in all of its edited glory. Although the actual costume is breathtaking, the computer effects give it an entirely different, more technologically charged, feel. 

“Yeah,” You nod, a forced smile on your lips as you try to ease the uncomfortable tension from your tone. “She’s finally--” 

He cuts you off before you can give him any explanation for the upgrade. He isn’t the first one to address your new wardrobe, but he’s the first one to leave you antsy and uncomfortable. Sebastian frowns when you’re cut off, but he doesn’t think much of it. He lets the man continue, though a professional sharpness pulls his grin into a scowl. 

“Were you able to wear undergarments underneath it? It’s tight, doesn’t leave much to the imagination. Was there ever a moment where you reflected how much your wardrobe has changed through the years?” He asks, a dirty grin on his lips. 

Sebastian and Anthony are shocked at the blunt, inappropriate construction of his question. The public eye knew nothing of your battles with body image, or health concerns that lead to surgery. Your mind was plagued with doubts and self-criticism, and his invasive, pervy question both infuriated you and broke you apart. 

You stutter to find an answer, heat overwhelming you. Your hand grips onto Anthony’s arm, and you can’t decide whether anger is what burns your skin or anxiety. Are you making a big deal of this? You don’t know. You feel like you have every right to feel violated and uncomfortable, but you’re a young woman in the entertainment industry, isn’t this the kind of ignorant commentary you signed up for? You don’t know anymore. You grew up with people always having an opinion on your appearance, sexualizing you as early as twelve. You’ve carried around pepper spray and  self-defense keychains long before you even had an understanding towards predatory men and sexual assault. You’ve been conditioned by the world and the media to carry on with your day, no matter the broken boundaries or disrespect. You’re tired of remaining silent, feeling like your less than your male counterparts. Women and men should hold no differing values in society, and yet you walk to your apartment with keys between your fingers and Tom doesn’t even lock his front door. 

“I don’t think that’s an appropriate question.” You choke out, voice hard and nowhere near the soft and frilly pitch it usually obtains. You’re livid, absolutely pissed to the point of a quivering cupids bow. You’re humiliated, and horrified. Your feelings are everywhere, but you remain as professional as you can. If you yell, try to defend yourself at all, you’ll be painted as a diva in every media outlet for the next week, subliminally inviting backlash and slut-shaming comments into your social media messages. If Sebastian and Anthony come to your defense, they’ll be sung high-praises. 

The double standards men and women are held to, especially in the industry, is infuriating. 

He stumbles out a response, but his time is already up. For the first time today, you’re thankful these interviews are only ten minutes. He leaves the room, shown out by security, and even then he still sends you a wink over his shoulder as if your glimmering eyes meant nothing. 

“Hey,” Sebastian's voice is soft, his hand on the small of your back. You flinch away from his contact, head heavy in memories you’d rather forget. 

“Sorry,” You mumble, voice trembling with tears that you refuse to let fall. You’ve already been humiliated, you don’t need to further paint yourself as some helpless teenage girl. “I’m sorry. I’m going to go find Tom.” 

Anthony and Sebastian nod tightly. They watch as you quiver in your heels, hands clenched into fists at your sides. They’re proud of the way you handled yourself, though still absolutely enraged that any adult would find it appropriate to address you like that, especially in a professional setting. 

You stumble into the dressing rooms, right into your boyfriend's chest. Your mind is racing, but the minute you attach yourself to him, you break down. Shy sobs break Tom’s heart. He holds the back of your head to his chest, other hand on the small of your back and wrapped around your waist as you cry. You’re trying to stay quiet, but the attention is already on you. Chris and Robert are worried, and Zoe’s trying to act like she hasn’t noticed, but they don’t all watch as you try to console yourself with your boyfriend's warmth. 

“What happened?” Tom’s voice is soft, trying to keep this a private moment. He tries to move the both of you back into a corner, but you panic and squeeze around his waist tighter. “Baby,” 

You and Tom have been dating for six months, and although you’ve shared with him stories of your traumatic experiences as a woman living in LA, he’s never seen anything upset you like this. 

“I’m such a slut.” Your words come out so shy and small, you aren’t even sure you can hear yourself. No matter how  many times you tell yourself that your makeup and clothes don’t give men permission to make passes or feel you up, it’s getting harder to believe that your verbal consent is as strong as your clothes. Maybe you are asking for it, and in a wave of nausea, disgusted with yourself, your arms leave Tom’s waist to pull at the bottom of your borrowed dress. 

You’ve been hit on in sweats before. In ball gowns and crop tops. Somebody’s even pushed themselves against you while you wore Tom’s hoodie, but you still convince yourself that it’s your fault. That you we’re asking for it. 

Tom’s jaw sets harshly into place, and he tilts your chin upwards to meet his eye. His brown stare is hard, only adding to your distress. Maybe he agrees. Maybe he’ll blame you for what just happened. He’s probably going to break up with you. Other guys just can’t keep their hands and eyes off of you. He doesn’t want a slut for a girlfriend. 

“What the fuck did you just say, Y/N?” His tone causes you to flinch, words bouncing off of the dressing room walls. Everyone flinches, hearing only his heavy response. You try to divert your attention, but Tom squeezes your jaw, forcing your eyes back on his. “Say it again.” 

“I’m such a slut.” You sniffle, submitting beneath his fiery glare. Tensions are high as you try not to break down again. Apart from Tom, everyone in the room has watched you grow up, never losing that shy and sweet sense of yourself. You’re an exuberant light, a brilliant scene partner, a rising star who has big things in store for the future. You are many things, but a slut, isn’t one of them. 

Tom looks behind you, glaring straight at Anthony and Sebastion who are both stone eyed and still. They’ve not calmed down any since leaving the production room, instead, it seems their anger has only risen. The sight of you so distraught churns their stomachs. 

“Some asshole tried to make a pass.” Sebastion said in short, words angry and delivered as such. 

Tom’s breath hitched, his arms tightening around you and pulling you closer to his chest. His chin digs into your crown, eyes pinches shut as his hot exhale feels heavy. 

“You aren’t a slut, Y/N.” He doesn’t leave any room for argument, but you try anyways. Tom has no patience for it, and so he tilts your head back and plants his lips against yours harshly and eagerly, desperate to show you love and intimacy. “You. Aren’t. A. Slut.”

You nod, ducking your head back down into his chest as you try to believe him-- try to remember that you never asked for hands around your waist, or cupping your boobs. Wolf whistles, or handshakes that turn into forced frontal hugs. You didn’t ask for any of the harassment, no matter the outfits you wore and what they revealed.  

Tom lowers his voice, whispers melting into your hair, “This isn’t your fault, baby. Please believe me. None of this, is your fault. It’s disgusting and inappropriate, and you don’t deserve to deal with any of it.” 

You sniffle. You can’t tell him you believe him, not yet. Not when your heart is so heavy. Maybe one day you’ll believe him, but that’s just not now. 

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[zintranslations]

Kaleidoscope of Death, Ch. 71

Kaleidoscope of Death by Xi Zixu Link to Chinese / Link to ongoing Taida Translations

Chapter 71: The Eighth Door

Very soon, regarding Ruan Nanzhu's offer, Lin Qiushi had an answer—he decided to enter Cheng Yixie's ninth door together with Ruan Nanzhu.

About Lin Qiushi's decision, Ruan Nanzhu wasn't surprised. He only asked Lin Qiushi once more: "You've thought it through?"

Lin Qiushi nodded: "I've thought it through."

"The ninth door will be much more difficult. Even I can't guarantee you'll make it out safely," Ruan Nanzhu spoke bluntly. "This door may be your last."

Lin Qiushi said, "that's fine."

Ruan Nanzhu watched Lin Qiushi's face in silence for a moment, before nodding in acceptance.

Lin Qiushi thought there was something he wanted to say, but in the end, Ruan Nanzhu said nothing more.

After confirming Lin Qiushi was going with them, Ruan Nanzhu told Lin Qiushi the ninth door's hint. When he got it, Lin Qiushi read it over, and took on a look of shock: "This is a hint?"

Ruan Nanzhu, "mh."

There was a line on the paper: with bronze as mirror, one can right their apparel; with history as mirror, one can understand the tides of fortune; with people as mirror, one can gain from loss.

"What does this mean?" Lin Qiushi recalled this was a famous quote from Li Shimin of the Tang Dynasty, something that was even taught in textbooks. But placed within the world of the doors, a hint like this was basically no hint at all.

"I don't know," Ruan Nanzhu said. "The hints for latter doors are all more abstract. They no longer have clear indications like the ones before. So what the situation will actually be like, we can only say once inside the door."

Hint slip pinched in hand, Lin Qiushi stared at it for a long time, before saying okay.

Their time of entry was, specifically, the fifteenth of the next month. Cheng Yixie was the one who told Lin Qiushi. When he learned Lin Qiushi was going into the door with them he seemed quite calm, like he'd already predicted Ruan Nanzhu would be bringing Lin Qiushi along.

Cheng Yixie was likely the quietest person inside the mansion. He was silent all the time, except to scold his brother.

Though Cheng Qianli and Cheng Yixie were twins, their personalities were complete opposites. Cheng Qianli went about his day like an air-headed child, while Cheng Yixie was very mature.

There was still some time before they were to enter the door. Lin Qiushi continued to rest in the mansion.

In the interim Tan Zaozao and that movie legend Zhang Yiqing also came around, together with the man taking Zhang Yiqing through his doors.

That person's name was Bai Ming. In both looks and disposition he was very sunny, with his hair in light, natural curls and a cute dimple on his cheek when he smiled.

To be honest, Lin Qiushi was having a hard time linking a person like this to a major player on the inside. He was quite curious how this Bai Ming appeared inside the doors.

The question felt a bit invasive however, so Lin Qiushi didn't ask.

Zhang Yiqing's condition seemed better than before. At least he didn't look on the verge of a breakdown.

Bai Ming was very interested in Lin Qiushi as well, though he didn't dare express too much of this interest in front of Ruan Nanzhu. Lin Qiushi still noticed, though, the occasional looks of assessment.

"Yiqing's movie's premiering in May, you guys have to go see it." The first thing Bai Ming did upon arriving at the mansion was pass out Zhang Yiqing's premier tickets. "I've already seen the uncut version, it's amazing."

Sitting on the side watching Bai Ming toot his horn, Zhang Yiqing's expression didn't look too good. Lin Qiushi guessed it was a look of humiliation…

"Yiqing is absolutely incredible, I like him so much." Bai Ming professed his love looking like a whole star-chasing fanatic. Which was fine on the regular, but now that he was complimenting the man to his face, it was rather hard to bear. Lin Qiushi clearly saw that despite Zhang Yiqing's severe expression, his ears had gone completely red. Zhang Yiqing stood up, feigning calm, and said he was going out onto the balcony for a smoke.

Lin Qiushi privately thought it was really pretty funny, that this Bai Ming had Zhang Yiqing completely contained.

Tan Zaozao started loudly guffawing without holding back at all.

"Zaozao, are you going in again?" Lin Qiushi quickly calculated the time, and felt Tan Zaozao's next door ought to be soon.

"Mh," Tan Zaozao nodded. "Chen Fei's bringing me this time… How about you? Which door are you on?"

Lin Qiushi said, "still my sixth." He didn't mention that he was going into the ninth door with Ruan Nanzhu.

"Oh…" Tan Zaozao's attention seemed to wander, like she was thinking of something.

Lin Qiushi asked, "what is it?"

"Nothing," Tan Zaozao sighed. "Just wondering what to do about the doors after this." She couldn't completely drop her real life job like Ruan Nanzhu and Lin Qiushi to focus on passing the doors, and she didn't have the courage to train. This meant that for higher level doors, she'd likely have more poor fortune than good, not to mention that even Ruan Nanzhu basically didn't take on doors after the sixth.

Because people said that after the sixth door, the level of difficulty thoroughly changed. As for how it changed, Tan Zaozao wasn't sure. All she knew was that it would be tough.

The group chatted for a while over lunch. Lin Qiushi learned, through Ruan Nanzhu and Bai Ming's conversation, that the two had known each other for about four years, and counted as old friends.

Bai Ming had already passed his ninth door, and was waiting for his tenth.

After eating, Bai Ming and Ruan Nanzhu went to the study. The two seemed to have something to discuss in private.

Tan Zaozao brought Lin Qiushi and Zhang Yiqing downstairs to play games.

What the two discussed Lin Qiushi didn't know, but when they came back downstairs, both their gazes were fixed on him.

Lin Qiushi, vaguely startled, asked, "what is it?"

"Nothing," Bai Ming grinned. "Just a bit curious about you."

Lin Qiushi, "curious?"

Bai Ming asked, "don't you think there's something special about yourself?"

Lin Qiushi gave it a thought, before murmuring, "I especially like cats?" As he said this, he was poking subtly at Chestnut's toe beans, all while Chestnut side-eyed him in displeasure.

Ruan Nanzhu, "…" Sure, that could be considered a type of special.

Hearing this, Bai Ming laughed. "You really are interesting." He didn't mention anymore about Lin Qiushi though, and after sitting for another while, left with Zhang Yiqing and Tan Zaozao.

Lin Qiushi glanced at Ruan Nanzhu, seated beside him, and quietly asked, "is there something special about me?"

Ruan Nanzhu eyed him back. "What do you think?"

Lin Qiushi shook his head, uncomprehending.

Ruan Nanzhu, "you really don't feel like there's anything weird about you?"

Lin Qiushi, "no."

Ruan Nanzhu stood up. "If not then forget it." At this, he turned and left, leaving Lin Qiushi no further opportunity to ask. For some reason, Lin Qiushi felt that Ruan Nanzhu's mood had soured…

Cheng Qianli learned they were entering the ninth door as well. He was very worried; he even set up an altar in his room and began to seriously pray.

Lin Qiushi was even dragged over to light three incense sticks of his own.

"Please bless them to return safely." Cheng Qianli's manners seemed wholly pious.

Lin Qiushi didn't use to believe in such things. But the world inside the doors had completely turned his worldview upside down, so he didn't say anything disrespectful before the incense altar.

"I'm so scared." After the incense, Cheng Qianli sat on his bed, muttering to Lin Qiushi. "I'm just really, really scared."

"Don't be scared, it'll be alright." Lin Qiushi petted his head. Cheng Qianli was only sixteen; he was still half a kid. "Your Ruan-ge will be there."

"Mh," Cheng Qianli said. "I want to be stronger, so then, then I can…" At this point, he seemed a bit embarrassed.

Lin Qiushi asked, "so then you can what?"

Cheng Qianli said, "so then I can be the one protecting my brother for a change!" He puffed up his chest, looking proud.

Lin Qiushi smiled. "Mh, then you gotta work hard." Sometimes, Cheng Qianli could be so foolishly adorable.

Cheng Qianli said, "even though he has a bad temper, and he gives me the cold-shoulder all the time, he's my brother in the end, right?" He lied down on the bed, muttering to himself. "He looks exactly like me, after all…"

Lin Qiushi just sat silently listening on the side.

He honestly didn't quite understand the brotherly love Cheng Qianli spoke of. Even in his youth he'd not encountered much of a familial atmosphere, nor did he have any brothers or sisters. At twenty-six, he didn't even have a person he liked. As Lin Qiushi thought this, he suddenly found his life a bit regretful. If he died inside this door, there seemed to be a lot that he hadn't experienced.

The day of Cheng Yixie's door opening got closer and closer.

The atmosphere inside the mansion began to tense as well.

Besides Ruan Nanzhu, Cheng Yixie had the highest level door. Lin Qiushi roughly calculated Cheng Yixie's time in the doors, and discovered he would've been entering doors since he was eleven or twelve. To have survived so many doors at such a young age, Cheng Yixie really was incredible.

And his younger brother Cheng Qianli was only on door six; there must have been years between each of their first doors.

This time, Ruan Nanzhu didn't put Lin Qiushi in drag. While he was glad, there was, Lin Qiushi discovered, a thin thread of disappointment deep in his heart. When he noticed this disappointment he scared himself. He hadn't thought drag could be addictive.

Of course, Lin Qiushi very quickly processed and got rid of these disappointed feelings, since he really was glad he didn't have to pretend to be mute anymore. As for the matter of a fake voice—he still had not figured that out.

Days flew by, and soon, it was nearly time to enter the door.

The weather had also gradually gotten hot. After dinner, Lin Qiushi sat on the balcony cooling off, and saw Cheng Yixie standing in the garden downstairs. Cheng Yixie's expression was solemn, and there was a cigarette in his hand slowly being smoked.

Lin Qiushi watched him from high above, and after a while's thought, called out: "Cheng Yixie!"

Cheng Yixie looked up.

Lin Qiushi declared loudly, "minors shouldn't smoke."

Cheng Yixie furrowed his brow. He and Cheng Qianli were almost entirely identical, with the exception of that cold aura he gave off. Though he was young, that aura clearly let people know that this wasn't a person to be messed with. He listened to Lin Qiushi though, and really did put out the cigarette.

Lin Qiushi fished out a fistful of candy, and tossed them down from the second floor. "Eat these."

Colorful candies fell on the green grass like fireworks going off. They were actually quite pretty.

Cheng Yixie bent down. He picked one up, unwrapped it, and popped it into his mouth.

Lin Qiushi watched him, grinning. "Is it good? The purple one is grape flavored—" These were hard candies he ordered online, made from fruit juice. They tasted pretty good.

Cheng Yixie glanced once at him and didn't speak. He did carefully pick up all the candies however, and pocket them before walking away.

Watching him go, Lin Qiushi was pretty happy. Though Cheng Yixie entered the doors before he did, Cheng Yixie was also still a kid in his eyes, not even eighteen yet.

The day before going in, Ruan Nanzhu put on his dress. The three all wore that special bracelet, and began waiting for the door to come.

Cheng Qianli grew anxious, pacing laps up and down the house.

In the end Cheng Yixie couldn't take it anymore, frowning as he said, "quit circling, I'm going dizzy just looking at you."

Cheng Qianli, wounded, "I can't even circle around?"

Cheng Yixie, "no."

Cheng Qianli, "…hmph. Well no, I'm gonna circle." Though he said that, he still obediently took a seat back on the sofa, picking up Toast nearby to viciously rub at.

Dizzy with the rubbing, Toast blinked its big black eyes, howling in woe.

"Stop torturing it," Cheng Yixie spoke again.

Cheng Qianli, "ah, you're too much! You won't let me do this, you won't let me do that—"

Cheng Yixie didn't make a single sound in reply, just stared expressionlessly back at Cheng Qianli. And so the two faced off for ten, eleven seconds, before Cheng Qianli fell unerringly to defeat once more. With tragic eyes he released Toast's round little butt and watched the dog run away.

Cheng Yixie looked at his watch.

Cheng Qianli saw this, and only grew more agitated. His lips moved soundlessly for a bit, until, almost inaudibly, he squeezed out, "you have to come back."

Cheng Yixie glanced up once at him.

"Hey, I'm talking to you here!" Cheng Yixie said. "Are you listening to me, Cheng Yixie, you have to come back." It seemed to have taken him a while to work up the courage to say this. "You have to come back!"

Cheng Yixie made a single, faint sound of agreement.

And so Cheng Qianli was satisfied, murmuring some other fussy orders.

As the two brothers interacted, Lin Qiushi was seated right beside them. He saw with his own eyes the corners of Cheng Yixie's mouth tick up as Cheng Qianli mumbled, though the motion was faint and only momentary, easily taken as an illusion.

The door came the next evening.

After eating, Lin Qiushi had gone back to his room.

He sat in front of his computer, and was just about to press the on button, when a very peculiar feeling came over his body. It was a feeling he was familiar with—the door had opened.

Lin Qiushi got up and opened his bedroom door. He wasn't surprised at all to see that the twelve metal doors had appeared in the hallway. Of them, eight were sealed off. The other three could not be opened.

The only one that could open was Cheng Yixie's ninth door.

Lin Qiushi came to the door, and tugged it open—the scenery around him twisted, and Lin Qiushi appeared on a wide paved road.

As he took in his surroundings, he looked a bit shocked, because it wasn't some desolate wilderness about him, but a full commercial street. Colorful signs hung from either side of the road, and though it was currently late and most of the shops were closed, it was still easy to picture the bustling street by day.

The path beneath his feet was very smooth. Lin Qiushi followed it, and saw a high rise that stretched into the clouds. A special coating covered the building's exterior, making it look like it was built out of mirrors; it absorbed all the light from around it, and was attention-catching even in the dimming night.

For some reason, as he looked at this high rise, a term came to Lin Qiushi's mind: phototaxis.

Phototaxis was a type of biological habit observed in both animals and plants. The most obvious one was how insects rush at a light source at night, even if that light was a flame that would incinerate them.

Humans were animals too, Lin Qiushi thought. In the dark of night, they would always walk toward the light source they see. With no consideration for what awaited them at the other end.

The doors to the high rise were open. Lin Qiushi slowly entered, and saw eight or nine people standing in the lobby. These people had already split into groups. Seeing Lin Qiushi walk in, most took on assessing expressions.

This time, Lin Qiushi saw no newbies out of their depths.

Considering the ninth door's difficulty, if there really was a newbie, then Lin Qiushi suspected they’d been dragged into this door literally seconds before their death.

Looking about, Lin Qiushi didn't find whom he was looking for. So he took a seat on a random sofa and began observing the situation around him.

Plus him, there were nine. Five men and four women, split into roughly three groups. They were likely all old hands at this; no one was pretending not to recognize the others. Instead they were all whispering, quietly discussing the matter of this door.

Lin Qiushi sat on the sofa for a while, until he saw two people come in. One was tall and one was short. The tall one was a woman in a long skirt, the short one was a cool-faced young man.

Though their faces were completely different, Lin Qiushi could still recognize them by their clothing and looks—it was Ruan Nanzhu and Cheng Yixie.

The two also saw Lin Qiushi on the sofa and approached.

"Everyone's here?" Lin Qiushi asked.

"Not yet, I don't think." Ruan Nanzhu sat down next to Lin Qiushi. "There are still some people looking around outside. They're probably waiting for their teammates."

At this, Lin Qiushi couldn't help but be impressed by Ruan Nanzhu's skills of observation. It seemed that not minutes after coming here, he'd already collected pretty much all the information they needed on the people around them.

Indeed, after about three minutes, two more people came in from the outside, also a man and a woman. The moment they came in, they headed straight for a corner.

When Lin Qiushi saw where they went he was surprised. "They… have five to one team?"

Ruan Nanzhu, "most likely."

"Is there advantage in numbers inside the doors?" Lin Qiushi tried to think this through, but something felt off.

"To some extent, yes," Ruan Nanzhu said, leaning back on the sofa. "The more people you bring, the more death conditions you can cross out, right?"

Lin Qiushi, "…"

Ruan Nanzhu eyed the corner, and laughed something cold. "Some people will do anything to survive."

Some people, in order to rule out death conditions, purposely brought a lot of newbies into the doors. The newbies didn't understand anything, and were very easily met with accidents inside. Of course, accidents happening to them was fine. To those who'd brought them in, it was even a good thing—they filled up the daily death quotas, after all. According to the rules inside, the number of people who could die each day was limited, so those people were actually safer like this.

Lin Qiushi hadn't thought things could be done this way. "And those newbies are still willing to come in?"

"Why wouldn't they be willing?" Ruan Nanzhu replied lazily. "There are always people who want to strike it rich in a single bite."

Who didn't want to forgo everything in the middle and jump straight through the ninth door? Risk and reward were usually in equal balance; to gain something, you had to give up something.

Such was living.

The group was finally all assembled. There were seventeen people in total, split into roughly five or six groups. The largest group among them was the one with five people. Lin Qiushi had a clear feeling that, of the five, their leader was the woman with the unkind expression.

With everybody gathered in the lobby, the hubbub grew louder.

At this moment, a person in a bellhop's uniform came over from the elevator. In his hand was a stack of keycards, and he smiled at the group in the lobby.

"I do beg your pardon, we've kept everybody waiting," the bellhop said. "These are the key cards to your rooms."

He began passing out the keycards.

Someone in the group asked, "how many per room? Are these single or standard rooms?"

"They're standard rooms," the bellhop said, and smiled. "Red card rooms have one large bed, white card rooms are doubles, and green card rooms can fit three, though one will have to sleep on the sofa." His was was soft and gentle. "Welcome to your vacation here, I hope all of you have a great time."

So they were supposed to be tourists. Lin Qiushi's heart jumped a beat.

"When does our vacation end?" the leader of the five-person group suddenly spoke. "Are there any tourist destinations nearby?"

The bellhop smiled. "I will give everyone a travel guide tomorrow, and on it, all the travel destinations will be marked." He finished passing out the keycards. "Please rest well tonight, everyone."

Lin Qiushi got up and fetched them a green card. The bellhop said green card rooms could fit three. It was perfect for their trio.

The room cards gradually traded hands, and the crowd dispersed on their own.

Lin Qiushi, Ruan Nanzhu, and Cheng Yixie's room was on the thirty-fourth floor. The floor was thickly carpeted, and from the hallways exuded a thick scent of burnt incense.

The lights were very dim. When they got to the room and stuck the keycard into the power slot, all the lights inside came on.

Lin Qiushi went to the window and looked out from the glass. He saw a darkened city, all of it swathed in dead silence. Not even a streetlight could be seen—though when he came in from the outside, Lin Qiushi had seen the streetlights turned on.

Ruan Nanzhu said, "this room is very interesting."

Lin Qiushi turned around. "Hm?"

Ruan Nanzhu, "there are mirrors everywhere."

Taking a look around, Lin Qiushi discovered there were indeed many mirrors inside the room. Most unbelievable was the one on the floor.

At the sight of the mirrors, Lin Qiushi couldn't help but think of that "with bronze as mirror" line in the hint. He sensed that the key had to do with the mirrors, but the hint wasn't enough, and he couldn't yet concretely capture it.

Cheng Yixie stared at the mirror beneath his feet, and was silent for a long time. Only when Lin Qiushi was about to walk away did he suddenly and quietly say: "This is a two-way mirror."

Lin Qiushi's face froze.

Cheng Yixie spoke very slowly: "People downstairs can see into our room."

At this, Ruan Nanzhu suddenly looked down at his skirt. "Then haven't I been exposed?"

Cheng Yixie, "…"

Lin Qiushi, "…"

Ruan Nanzhu, "upon closer thought, I'm actually a bit embarrassed."

Lin Qiushi, "…" If you're so embarrassed why are you pulling your skirt up higher…

Author's Note:

Hello everyone, I'm Xi Zixu's draft folder. For the next few days I'll be bringing folks new chapters. As for Xi Zixu, she got her hand chewed off when she washed her cat yesterday.

[Ch. 70] | [Ch. 72]

[btssmutficslovingfan01]

The Afterparty

Summary: You’ve been a fan of BTS for seven years and counting. When you see them at the GRAMMYs after-party, you’re surprised to find that no one is even going up to talk to them. They’re making a spectacle of them, as the boys lounge lazily on the couches. With sweaty palms, you finally manage to stutter out a “hello,” to Namjoon, the leader of the group. A lot can happen in one night, especially when you’re the only one who makes them feel welcome.

Words: 6.8k

Pairing: BTS x Reader (all members)

Genre: Smut, pwp

Warnings: Gangbang, Vanilla sex, Oral (m & f receiving), spit-roasting, Unprotected Sex, Bad use of condoms (if you have them, use ‘em!), Double Penetration, Sex toys, rope-play, hints at Jungkook getting together with reader, possessive pillow-talk

                         ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Hey guys, I’m a huge fan.” You wave at all the members, feeling immediately small as they say a small “hello” back. It was your first time getting tickets to a huge awards show, much less coming to an afterparty where only the hottest celebrities gather together for one night. You weren’t a celebrity, but at least you were making an effort to talk to them without clout-chasing.

They could tell you were nervous, so Joon speaks to you in a soft voice.

“Hi, it’s always great to meet a fan. How long have you been listening to our music?” You look down, feeling too dizzy to look at him directly in the eyes. You could feel the eyes of jealous onlookers on you as you speak to your favorite artist.

“Seven years. I found out about you guys during the ORUL8,2? Era. I fell in love with your cute grunge band type theme there.” Namjoon, for the first time in a long time, actually blushes at your words. As he rubs his neck, Hoseok and Jin who were sitting next to him gaze at you in bewilderment.

“Yeah, not my greatest era.” His genuine laugh catches everyone off-guard, they thought they weren’t supposed to socialize with anyone.

“I love your songs though, and your lyrics are amazing. Jin, may I just say, Epiphany was so well sung. I even got a tattoo of the lyrics!” You pull your sleeve up to show Jin your tattoo. He exclaims, “Wow.” before setting your arm down. “By the way, when is D-2 gonna come out, Yoongi? The first one was so good. Oh sorry, was I rambling? Oh God, I’m rambling.” You sigh in embarrassment as the members find themselves thinking about how cute you look all self-aware of your surroundings. 

“It’s fine. Here, you can sit between Jimin and Yoongi. There’s room on the seat of the couch, since they decided to take the armrests.” You can’t believe you’re between your bias and biaswrecker. Well, you are an OT7 bias, but you were sitting at the hip level between the two men. Who you idolize. 13-year old you is dying.

“So, Yoongi...are you at least bringing back Tony Montana for a studio version?” Jimin says something to him in Korean before shoving him playfully and then Yoongi turns to you, saying,

“Sorry, no spoilers.”

“Okay, I’m not an interviewer or a reporter. You can tell me, honestly, are you fluent in English?” You direct the question to both the boys as they give you cheeky smiles before Jimin leans in and whispers seductively in your ear. “Yes. We all know English but we pretend like we don’t because we’re too lazy to answer stupid questions.” You blush at the close proximity but mostly because it sounded like Jimin was telling you to piss off.

“Wow. You guys are cool. I could never act so well,” You find yourself more at ease with them, locking eyes with Taehyung across on the other couch opposite of you, with Jungkook on his phone and too distracted to notice your silent eye-fucking. You wouldn’t know, you were too oblivious to pick up on his arousal. He wanted you, bad. “Well, I’m gonna head down to the snack table. Anyone want anything?” This time Jungkook looks up, tucking his phone into his pocket before running after you.

“Me too.” His broken English is so cute, as he follows you to the table to find a feast. He licks his lips, in seeing the giant chicken untouched and ready for consumption. Out of the corner of your eye, you see a couple of girls pretending like they’re scrolling through their phones and taking pictures of him. You wish there was a no phone rule or something like that at this afterparty.

You move to his other side, blocking his view from the girls as he obviously looks up at you after grabbing some drinks.

“You take four. I took two. Jin and V on diet.” 

“I know your secret. You don’t have to talk in broken English, Jungkook.” He smiles as you call him by his name correctly, you’re sure he’s grateful to you for not prying. Most Americans would get all up in his business.

“Thank you.” He whispers softly as you grab the cups and balance them on a plate.

“For you guys.” You pass out the drinks to the members and immediately Namjoon starts up another conversation with you.

“Is this your first after party?” 

“Yeah, but it’s fun. At least it’s memorable for me because I got to meet you guys. Sorry, I’m still a little star struck.” He lets out a chuckle as you take a sip of the champagne.

“You’re handling it pretty well. If I were in your shoes I would’ve freaked out. It’s so cool that you stuck with us for so long.” You shrug, a smirk tugging at your lips as Namjoon takes a sip of his drink as well.

“Not really. You guys are just regular people and I think fans forget that sometimes, it’s easy to forget when you guys dance so in sync and robotically without even thinking.” 

“It takes a lot of hard work.” He reassures you.

“So, did you bring your girlfriends?” You mock the interviewers’ questions as Namjoon guffaws. “I’m just kidding. I don’t care, I stan you for your music and your animated personalities, cheers guys.” You clink glasses with them as they take a sip, all eyes on you as you stand among them instead of looking at them like trophies in a glass case. Everyone in the room was watching you, as you interacted with the “Korean act” so naturally.

There was nothing to it, you didn’t care if they were staring anymore. If anything, you felt more welcome standing next to Bangtan.

“So is asking about personal relationships just an American thing?” You cringe thinking about the Ellen show and how she asked inappropriate questions such as “have you ever hooked up with ARMY?” and completely disrespected them. You didn’t want them to get the wrong impression of you from that bad encounter.

“It’s a strange concept but unfortunately yes, it is normalized here. I think you handled it pretty well though, Tae’s reaction was memed when in reality it was completely understandable!” Taehyung looks up from his phone at the mention of his name, staring directly at you once again.

“Why does he keep looking at me like that?”

“I think he wants to talk to you, dear.” Namjoon’s sudden change in demeanor intimidates you. You shake it off as Namjoon pushes you towards the couch where Taehyung is lounging on while Jungkook disappears off to the bathroom.

“H-Hi Tae.” You awkwardly stock over to the couch as the second youngest BTS member eyes you up and down.

“What’s your deal? Do you want a picture, an autograph? I can’t figure you out.” He sounds cold and calculating, despite your thoughts kindling telling you he was a warm and kindhearted person.

“I’ve been honest this entire night. I wanted to drop by and say hi to the group that I’ve been stanning for seven years. Is that suspicious?” He rubs his jaw, gulping the rest of his drink before setting it down on the table next to him. He looked like he was about to eat you alive, and you loved it.

“No. I can tell you’re being sincere. We’re chill. Joon, everything’s chill.” 

“Alright, now that that's done, our manager told us to be back in our hotel room in 10. We were supposed to skip the after party as we do in all awards shows but he insisted we make an appearance. That’s why we’re here.” Namjoon rounds the members up and everyone adjusts his pants accordingly as they stand up.

“Oh, you guys are leaving?” You sound hurt, but with Jimin’s warm fingertips suddenly on your cold shoulder, you shudder at the small shock from his touch.

“Sorry, how about we just take a quick picture together? I think you’re one of the coolest fans we’ve met.” You didn’t want this night to end. 

The Park Jimin just told you that you’re cool. You felt complete.

After snapping a couple pictures, Jungkook quickly appears by your side, stopping the other members.

“Wait, they’re playing “Cotton Eye-Joe” I wanna dance!” Namjoon rolls his eyes before dismissing him. To your surprise, he asks you to dance (very anxiously at that) and you follow him to the dance floor.

Even if it’s a private event, there are a lot of people in the crowd. You and Jungkook also hold hands so you don’t get separated. Suddenly, everyone forms lines. As the song starts, the crowd starts dancing in sync. You teach Jungkook the moves and just as his curious eyes meet yours, you hear the sound of a bell. They were gonna say toasts.

“That was…” You can’t place your finger on it, but Jungkook looked like he had just seen a ghost. He looked strange. You’ve never seen him give anyone that look. Could he be...Jungshook?

You raise an eyebrow as he suddenly runs back to Namjoon, whispering something in his ear and then going to the other members as well. You’re confused as Namjoon pulls you aside, tapping your shoulder instead of grabbing your hand to follow him. You go to a smaller area blocked off from the crowd.

“Sorry, there were too many cameras around there. I was wondering if you wanted to come with us for the private after-party celebration and have some drinks? We normally go live and then after we turn off the camera we get a little drunk and wild. Plus, Jungkook said he wasn’t ready to let you go just yet.” As he smirks you realize what he just meant. Jungkook was attracted to you?! Either that or he meant it in the most friendly, non-sexual way possible.

“Alright. Um, where are you guys staying by the way?” Namjoon gives you a sexy smirk before leaning and whispering right up against your ear:

“Room 327 on the third floor. That floor is off limits but we’ll let the guards know you’re allowed in there.” You look around before following him out and discreetly making your way to the girls’ bathroom.

“Did you see that bitch parading around the boys like she was their eighth member or something? Pathetic, honestly I gotta give her a C+ for trying. I couldn’t talk to their leader Jimin looking like a trashbag.”

“K, they were literally ogling her. Like you gotta admit, her dress was super cute and her makeup was pretty too.”

“What’s wrong with you G? Are you crushing on her or something? You’ve got to get your eyes checked. She wasn’t even pretty. If anything our boys were uncomfortable.” You open the stall door, washing your hands quickly and quietly ducking out after patting dry. The girls in the restroom make wide big eyes when they realize they just messed with the wrong bitch.

They’re pretending like they were the ones that got invited to the secret BTS party. Losers, they were just sour because Jungkook didn’t even give them the time of day.

You decide to head up to the room after 10 minutes of Namjoon signaling you to get ready and then as soon as you see them leave the party, you sneak up the stairwell. A bulky, tall and surprisingly handsome bodyguard stops you.

He pushes his glasses down to see you, and then lets you through to go join the boys.

You quietly knock on the door to be greeted by a smiling Hobi, and he shushes you before pushing you behind the couch in their suite. The room was so wide and big, different from the hotel room you were staying in for sure.

Within five minutes or so the boys wrap up and then Yoongi leans over and pulls you out of your hiding spot.

“Hey! It’s you, um what’s your name?” Jin scratches his head for an answer. All the members seem a lot more talkative in comparison to earlier. The mood is light and merry.

“Y/N! And bring on the drinks, I’m gonna get tipsy.” The boys chant for you as you chug half a bottle within five seconds, still sober as you burp. 

“Cute.” Jungkook laughs as you excuse yourself and take a sip of water to even out the playing field.

                                         ⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

“So now that we’re all drunk, how about we play a game of sexual ‘never have I ever’?” Namjoon’s proposal is favored as all of the members murmur words of agreement.

“Sounds good. Okay, I’ll go first. Never have I ever humped a pillow.” You, Jimin, Jungkook, and Hoseok put a finger down at Yoongi’s confession.

“Never have I ever sucked dick.” Hoseok says, immediately spurring you, Jimin, Yoongi, and Namjoon.

“Really Tae? I thought you did.” Jin says, slapping his thigh as he turns bright red.

“No. I never experimented either.”

“Okay...hmm this is hard. Never have I ever been in a threesome.” Everyone puts their fingers down except Jin, who cries in the corner. 

“Damn, that’s rough. Okay, never have I ever used lube.” Every man in the room groans as Jimin grins toothily. You found it charming how he managed to sound so cheeky but alluring at the same time.

“Never have I ever been in a romantic relationship that lasted for more than a month,”  Namjoon and Yoongi put their fingers down as the other members complain about being too busy. You also put your finger down, biting your lip. “It’s your turn.” He reminds you.

“Um..never have I ever been sexually intimate with a woman.” All of the guys groan as you target them, putting their fingers down at your words.

“Never have I ever been in a gangbang. I had friends who talked about doing the same girl plenty of times in school and shit before we debuted. It was fucking annoying, I just wish I could get it out of the way.” 

The room falls silent as you pipe up, clearing your throat before speaking, “Well, why don’t you? There’s one girl here and...ˢᵉᵛᵉⁿ ᵒᶠ ʸᵒᵘ...so I’m just gonna stop talking now.”

Jin breaks the silence with a stupid dad joke, making Hoseok and Jimin fall into a fit of giggles.

“So are we done? There’s no way any of you have been in a gangbang before,” Your voice stands out as all of the boys look at you, half-offended and half-aroused. “Am I the only one here who has actually been in the middle of three or more guys like that?” More accurately, you had a gangbang with two pairs of boys from neighboring schools, so no one ever found out about your promiscuous activities while you were 17.

“And you have? How could we believe you?” Yoongi spits out, sounding more defensive than anyone else in the room.

“I can suck three dicks at the same time. I’m not ashamed of my talents.” Yoongi gives you a harsh, judgemental stare. You’ve seen that look from your peers and teachers way back in high school and your workplace. They are doubting your abilities.

“Joon, why don’t you tell her why you really invited her here tonight?” Namjoon puts his glass on the table before standing up and pulling you towards him, your body lands on his, your head resting on his chest as he wraps his arms around you.

“We like sharing. Tonight, it seemed that Jungkookie took a liking to you. And we agreed, it would be good to get the maknae some pussy, especially since he hasn’t gotten laid in months. We decided you were the perfect candidate.” You gawk as he allows you to drop to your knees, your eyes wide as if you were asking for permission. Joon nods, sitting back down to give you access to his thighs as you crawl between his legs and inhale the wonderful scent of expensive cologne.

“Guys, are you really doing this in the middle of the couch? At least take it to the big bed where we can all see you, geez.” You’re surprised to see Yoongi unwinding on the couch, his dick large and bouncing against his thigh as he rubs the tip and goes back to the base as you’ve seen in porn.

“Jungkook-Ah, come here. You said you can suck three dicks at once, right Y/N?” You nod, wrapping your lips around the head of his cock and feeling Jungkook’s growing bulge through his boxers first before pulling them to the floor and then taking his dick into your mouth as well.

Both men moan as you simultaneously suck them off, your tongue sneaking down to the bases of each individual cock so you could lick them to orgasm. You know simple little tricks can make all the impact.

“Oh fuck, I’m gonna cum if you keep doing that. Shit.” It was strange, hearing curses fall from your favorite idols’ lips. Namjoon’s cock was much longer in comparison to Jungkook’s, but in whatever Jungkook lacked in length, he made up for in thickness. You were having trouble now, breathing heavily as you discard their clothes one by one.

The boys watch you intently as you suck them off, and you’re also equally aware of the men on the couches, who are watching your display of expert cocksucking.

Jimin, Tae, Yoongi, Hoseok and Jin have their hands in their pants or on their boxers as each man strokes himself to the site of you sucking their band members. You liked the taste, since they most likely ate fruits and drank sweet things to make their cum taste good. You can tell how healthy a person is just by the taste of their juices.

You lick your lips with a smack, your eye makeup is smeared and it makes you look like a raccoon before Namjoon grabs a tissue and wipes your eyes off for you.  

You smile before peeling off the dress completely to reveal your lingerie. The men watch as you play with your huge breasts in front of them, toying with your bra as if you have trouble taking it off.

“Oh my god, I’m gonna cum.” Jungkook groans as you start working and them again, now taking both cocks into your mouth at the same time and letting them see stars before pinching the tips with your long fake nails.

“Shit.” Namjoon and Jungkook came simultaneously, thanks to you. You smile as Jungkook grabs another tissue and helps wipe the cum off your cheeks and mouth before pressing the softest kiss to your lips. “I hope you’re okay with intimacy. We’re boys with hearts.” Namjoon puts a hand on his chest, signaling the “heart,” on his right side. That also adds onto his clumsy charm, the “God of Destruction” making an impromptu appearance as you make your mark.

“Yes, because your heart is totally on the right side of your chest. Come here, big boy.” You give Namjoon a lingering kiss after breaking from Jungkook and then you turn to the other boys on the couch.

“I wanna taste you.” Suddenly Jimin is kissing down your inner thighs, trailing saliva down your entire leg before kissing back up and staring up at you, just as Jungkook squeezes your boobs.

“I hope you don’t mind. We’re far from being done here.” You groan and close your eyes as pleasure takes you from all sides. Hoseok and Yoongi are circling your navel, joining Jimin in the attack on your clit, while Taehyung and Jin are working on your breasts as Jungkook and Namjoon hold your hair back, allowing the others to get a piece of you. When Yoongi and Hoseok step back, rubbing their naked dicks in their hands you realize everyone in the room is naked, including you. Jimin ripped off your panties and threw them on the floor next to the door while Namjoon took your bra off. 

This is the first time you’ve seen all of them naked. They look even better without clothes on, in all honesty.

“Ji—FUCK!” You moan, bucking your hips as Jimin swirls his tongue right between your folds, hitting the perfect spot as you whine like a horny bitch.

“You’re fine sweetheart, just take his tongue. You can take another dick, right?” Before you can process what’s happening, Taehyung is fucking your mouth, his bulge poking the back of your neck uncomfortably. You still enjoy the sensation of being filled, so you don’t mind too much.

“Is everything okay? Thumbs up if you’re good, thumbs down if you feel bad.” Namjoon brings you back to reality as you give him a thumbs up, your heart racing in your ribcage as Tae fucks your face and Jimin eats you out.

Jin, during this whole time, was nowhere to be found. You wondered what he was doing. Maybe he was preparing a surprise for you? Your thoughts fail to wander as Taehyung’s testes slap against your cheeks, hard enough for you to go numb. Your face hurts but the gesture itself was so kinky, you wanted to see it again.

“Tae, slow down, make her feel good first. Jimin, fuck her faster.” Namjoon takes the lead as you lie back, panting heavily as Tae gives you a moment to catch your breath, his cock resting on your chin as you catch your breath, the sensation of Jimin’s lips testing your bundle of nerves as you shudder with an all-too familiar feeling. 

You couldn’t believe a BTS member was about to make you cum tonight, for real, and not some drawn-out fantasy like the many lonely nights you spent with your vibrator and dildos at home. You’re so glad all of your friends passed up on this opportunity, according to them BTS were a bunch of “gay kpop dudes,” and “girls,” because they wear makeup like any other celebrity that would appear on camera. You would’ve gone back to your hotel room early to sleep in so you could wake up and go home after an unexciting night of wasted opportunity. You were so happy that this was happening.

At least you shoot your shot, and it actually worked this time.

When you open your eyes, you’re surprised to see that both men have switched positions, this time Taehyung ripping open a condom as your eyes widen, your mouth watering at the sight of his huge dick. You knew he had a big dick from the moment you stanned BTS. Now here it was, in the flesh, ready to enter your hungry, hungry hole. Your pussy tightens immediately at the thought, and you’re soon distracted by Jimin and Hoseok’s actions as they begin peppering your body with hickies. You don’t really mind, it’s not like anyone important is going to see you when you go home. Besides, this is Bangtan for pete’s sake, who the fuck would stop them from leaving marks? You wanted a reminder of this night, since this was just as special to you as it was to them.

Jimin moves his plush lips down to meet yours as Hoseok kisses your weak spot, right on the side of your neck. You giggle from the ticklish feeling of his tongue on your neck, practically melting into the bed as Taehyung rubs his cockhead against your weeping entrance, your pussy already slick wet with arousal as he nudges your legs further apart. His cock is huge, but it’s not ridiculously out of proportion. It fits his body, as a cock should look on a man, naturally. You’re so glad you aren’t a virgin. You remember freaking out after first seeing a dick in an erotic film.

Tae’s cock is far from weird or awkward, it’s actually as pretty and ethereal as the rest of him. You could say the same for the other guys, as their cocks fit their bodies too. It’s just a minute detail, but since you were obsessed with these seven men since forever, you pick up on it. Tae gives you that signature boxy smirk once again as you finish ogling him, making awkward eye contact with the 5’ 10” man as he teasingly slides his cock right up your most sensitive area.

“Cute, you’re so wet, I don’t think I could resist now.” You moan obnoxiously loud as your body convulses from the sheer force of his thighs meeting yours. You whimper out of pain, but as soon as your inner walls adjust to his size, you let out another sinful moan.

“Hobi...Jimin.” You see both men above you as you open your eyes slightly, their cocks hanging in front of your face. You love it, being treated like a whore when in reality you wouldn’t think of even holding hands with a boy. Maybe it’s the Bangtan effect. They’re all hot and they treat you so well, kissing you and checking up on you every few minutes. It’s not like an awkward fanfiction where the characters are mostly silent with prolonged descriptions of sex and wayyy too much background when it’s supposed to be a simple pwp smut. 

You personally love reading those things, especially the 10,000 word ones. Now that you’re actually living it, you can see why authors would want to elaborate. The feeling can’t be expressed with dialogue, it’s so much more than that.

You sigh into their cocks as you suck them interchangeably. Both men are entirely fixated on you, watching as you somehow manage to please them while getting brutally fucked by their roughest bandmate. It was impressive, they’ve never seen a girl as talented as you. Maybe that’s because you’re the first girl they’ve ever fucked altogether. 

This is a very special day for them indeed, as the city flashes purple outside in celebration of BTS attending the Grammys, the eight of you are trapped in your own little world, exploring each other.

Taehyung finishes fucking you after several minutes, your mouth filled with cum and your face stained white as well. Namjoon gives the two men a serious look before signalling the next pair of boys, Yoongi and Jin. Jin cleans you up first, while Yoongi gets you some water to help you recharge. You don’t know if you can truly get through seven men. Only Tae had penetrated you but you still felt incomplete. This wouldn’t be a true gangbang if you didn’t fuck every man at least once.

Yoongi seems to read your expressions, putting an arm around your shoulder and reassuring you first before moving on.

“You make the last call. We’re all okay with this but the moment you say no, it’s all over. I don’t wanna force you.” You find yourself leaning into a kiss, a gentle but firm kiss planting the first seed of desire on his lips. He can’t back away now.

“Can you bend me over and fuck me from behind? I’ve always had that fantasy in my mind from the time I discovered Yoongi smut fiction.” The other men seem impressed, watching you with drinks in hand as you seduce their second-oldest band member.

“Ahem, just so you remember, I’m here too. I grabbed toys earlier so I can prep you, don’t worry it’s clean.” You wanted to so desperately ask Jin where he got them but you snap yourself out of the little fantasy. You’re just a one night stand to them, you probably won’t see them ever again in person, whether it's in a sexual context or not.

“Mmmm, tie me up while you’re at it, would ya? Fuck, I’m into that kinky shit.” Jin gives you a wicked grin. For the first time, you notice his “jokester” persona has a dark side as well. If luck is on your side then sex will Jin will the perfect way to end this amazing night. A finale for the books, tabloids and magazines would eat it up! But you can’t tell anyone. You probably won’t tell anybody. It’s not like you’re a teenage girl from the hills. You can keep a secret.

“Me too, so are you sure you’re okay with this?” You nod as he finishes tying your arms to your sides, your feet still free in case you have to stretch. 

“This is so hot, oh look she’s wet again. Why don’t you fuck her first hyung? We can take turns fucking her with the toy and using our dicks.” Yoongi smirks, drooling a little bit at the thought of you completely helpless at their mercy.

“That’s a perfect idea. Princess, you know what to do if it gets to be too much.” You give him a thumbs up as he pushes the dildo up your second hole, the one in the back. You’ve never had anal sex with a guy before. You’ve also never been tied up. This was a new experience for you, and you were excited that the men of BTS were the ones taking your sexperience to another level.

“Ohhhh, that feels amazing Yoongi.” You close your eyes, resting your head on a pillow as Jimin quickly wipes your sweaty forehead with a moist towelette. You give him a small mutter of “thanks,” before feeling a foreign emptiness in your body. Someone took the dildo out! Just as you were about to freak out, Jin quickly replaces it with his fingers. You watch in awe as they play with your clit like you’re a toy. 

Then, you finally feel it, a cock wrapped in a condom, but the condom is so thin it feels like it’s barely there! After adjusting to him, you feel Yoongi slipping in behind you. You let out a scream, Jin pressing a harsh kiss to your lips and shushing you as you handle having two relatively large dicks inside you.

Your body shudders with shock and your muscles are tense as you move ever so slightly, adjusting to their slowing pace as they near their release, both men groaning ever so lewdly in your ears. You receive kisses and grunts of praise as they continue thrusting into you with no end.

“I’m so close, you’re so tight baby, so fucking tight.” Yoongi kisses your neck, biting down and leaving another hickey on an unmarked spot.

“Nggg, I’m coming, shit, fuck your pussy feels so good.” You’re so glad you shaved before you attended the awards show. Your lower body was silky smooth, and it made the experience just that much more pleasurable. Jin definitely appreciates it, as you buck your hips up and slam into his cock. Your inner walls are so stretched that you take all 9 inches of his erect gargantuan cock

“Oh, Jin! Yoongi…!” You moan as Yoongi starts rubbing your clit exactly above where Jin’s cock rests, your body jerking forward as you orgasm immediately. Your toes curl and you instinctively suck on something to mask the moans, much similar to how you used to suck your fingers to bite back a moan or two when you were a teenager still living with your parents. 

You were so glad there was no one here to interrupt, it was just you and the seven men you adored so much. “Fuck me harder,” You roll your hips back on Yoongi’s body, as he and Jin readjust so you were on your side again but this time Yoongi loosens the ropes holding your arms down. You kiss him gratefully, quickly finding yourself in the middle of a dick sandwich as both men enter you simultaneously, fucking you at a quick pace. 

Your body is numb and the only thing you feel is pleasure. It’s too good to be true, you just know it. “Cum in me. Fuck me hard and fill me up with your seed. I don’t care, just someone–anyone fuuuuckk.” You lewdly throw your head back in pleasure, Yoongi kissing your neck softly as he and Jin seemingly switched places, now with Yoongi in the front and Jin in the back.

“Look at her tits bounce. Oh you look so fucking sexy taking our cocks babe. Wish I could live inside you. I bet you’d love being my little cocksleeve, wouldn’t you?” You couldn’t deny his words, he spoke the truth. If a man such as Jin wanted to fuck you anywhere you would let him. That’s just how life is. You know you couldn’t pass up such an opportunity the moment you decided to strip down in front of them. You could take it, all seven of their cocks at once if they let you.

“Mmmph, I’m cumming Hyung. I wanna fuck her, fuck her forever.” Yoongi’s words only hang heavy in your heart, since you know this is just sex talk. In reality you’d have to leave tomorrow only to never see them again. It was the harsh reality of One Night Stands, one every person hates to go through. 

It wasn’t like you didn’t know this would happen, of course you would grow attached to the person you’re fucking. It’s a natural reaction, you just didn’t expect Yoongi to be the emotional one, that’s all.

“Cum with me Yoongz, let’s cum inside her together.” The two let out synchronized moans before releasing their precious juices inside of you. Even though they came, they don’t bother pulling out, remaining in their positions as Yoongi presses his lips against yours in a post-sex daze.

“We did it. We all fucked her.” Jin whispers as your uneven breaths slow down, your racing heart calming down as you come down from your euphoric state. You could see their juices dripping down your thighs and spilling onto the white sheets, your body warm as you squeeze your legs so that your pussy really clamps down on Yoongi’s cock, while Jin’s cock twitches in your ass once more.

“It’s over then…?” Yoongi gives you a mischievous smirk, one you recognize from all his MVs. He has a calming laugh as well, the mood somber and fitting instead of an awkward post-sex shuffle for clothes and food. You suppose this is because the members of BTS have been friends for over ten years now, and they just had a way of understanding each other and lightening the mood just by murmuring to each other about random things. 

Both men finally pull out of you, leaving you in your own little pool of sex as you lie atop the lonely king-sized bed, feeling more alone than you ever have. At least, you assume they left when an eerie silence settles into the room filled with a fragrance of musk and cologne and a putrid stench that you could only assume was your own sweat. 

It’s funny how all the boys still smelled good even after fucking you like how they did. You missed them, even though they were with you just a moment ago.

“I just realized something, I forgot to ask for your name.” You’re surprised to find Jungkook standing before you, holding a towel and a water bottle.

“Y/N.” You didn’t realize it either, but then again you were too distracted getting fucked by monster cocks. 

“That’s a pretty name. I was wondering if you wanted to sleep over here tonight? This is my room and I kinda wanted you to myself anyways so what do you say?” You liked the thought of Jungkook fawning over you, but it was even better now that he’s back so you can stare at him all night long.

“Sure.”

“Good, for a second I thought you were doing to say no. That would’ve been embarrassing considering that I kicked everyone out so I could have you.”

“Nuh-uh, that bed can support five people. We played rock paper scissors just so we could figure out who the heck gets to sleep with you tonight. Y/N, if you’re up for it?” You see a fully dressed Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok at the door, the men filing in as Jimin, Tae, and Jin remain nowhere to be found.

“Of course. Just cuddle me for warmth, it’s super cold in here.” The men take care of you just as you’d asked, Namjoon and Yoongi cuddling you from one side while Jungkook and Hoseok cuddle you from the other. You feel like this is definitely more than just a one night stand.

When the morning comes, you’re still in the big bed, surrounded by sleeping BTS members. You couldn’t believe they were real and waking up here was proof that last night really happened and you weren’t drunk off your ass. You remembered it so vividly, Jimin’s lips, Yoongi’s tongue, Hoseok’s fingers. Everyone touched you one way or another and you got to eat a lot of dick.

It all came with the price of your stamina, though. You weren’t the most active person, so your muscles were a little bit sore from all the extraneous activity. It was worth it, you would definitely go through it again even if it meant you had to limp to work the next day. Speaking of work, you had to go to your office today. You were in town for the concert but you had some business to take care of too. You still had a few hours before you had to leave, though, and your things were still in your room which was on a different floor, thank God you picked the same hotel that BTS was staying in without knowing.

“You need a shower, don’t you?” You’re surprised to find Jungkook awake and ready to carry you to the bathroom. You shyly follow him, heart rate rising as he gives you an adorable bunny-toothed smile. His doe eyes are so wide and filled with sparkles, as usual.

“No sex, right? I don’t think my body can handle another round so soon, although I wouldn’t mind if you bent me over and-” Jungkook’s eyes widen as you start.

“Ah, no. I’m not gonna do anything. I’m respectful. Even if we had amazing sex last night that doesn’t mean you can’t say no. You always have a choice.” You never thought of it that way. You thought it was always a permanent deal, just something everyone agreed on.

“So why did you decide to sleep with me? It’s not like you guys planned this, right?” He nods, as you start washing yourself with the shower curtain half open in case Kook wants to join.

“We didn’t. Well, I didn’t. Everyone was bored and we thought we could find different girls to spend the night with each of us. Obviously, things didn’t go as planned since everyone was too intimidated to approach us so we all narrowed our focus down to you. Argh, I should stop speaking for the whole group. What I meant to say was, I actually liked you from the start. Not because you approached me, but just because you treated me like an old friend. It was refreshing, and really nice to see a confident woman for once.”

“You think I’m confident?” You shut off the water as you begin scrubbing your body with soap.

“Of course, you danced in front of a crowd with me, that kind of thing takes guts. It’s like if I asked my childhood idol to dance with me. You did what others couldn’t. You’re amazing Y/N.” You turn the water back on, moaning as the warm water hits your skin just right. That wasn’t all; you were becoming hornier by the second.

Jungkook must’ve sensed it, since he pounces into the shower, fully naked and displaying everything. You can’t help but drop to your knees, innocently sucking his cock head and kissing his underside down to his balls where the last piece of hair remains. Jungkook’s pale face is flushed a lovely rosy pink as you lick the miniscule hairs, his whines setting you on edge as the water drowns out your noise once and for all.

“Cum on my face, Kook. I wanna taste your juices.” Jungkook lets out a girlish whine as you drive him over the edge with your dirty talk. He thrusts his hips forward, making you gag on his cock and tears well up in your eyes as his cum bubbles in the back of your throat. Seeing you actually covered in his cum is a different story, it activates a side of him he didn’t know he had until now.

“On your feet. I’m gonna bend you over and fuck you loud enough for my bandmates to hear.” Your moans are all that could be heard throughout the vicinity as Jungkook gives it to you good. His cock is swollen red, blood rushing to his face, heart, and lungs as he absolutely ruins you like you wished.

“I don’t think I can walk.” You croak, voice destroyed since he fucked your throat well before.

“You don’t have to. From now on, let me take care of you.” You didn’t have a problem with that, but little did you know that his bandmates had a very different vision for you in the near future.

                             ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

                         Dark Ending, hope you enjoyed the story! ♡

[godzillagirl-14]

Wish Upon an Idol (Ch. 4)

Chapter 4 

Pairing: ot7 x reader 

Summary: The Bangtan boys have the ability to grant wishes (unbeknownst to you, the brand new addition to their friend group) So when you jokingly wish you had superpowers to “help the world in a way you knew how” what happens when wake up the next day with extraordinary abilities? 

Warnings: Drama, angst, a lot of action, smut, and a bad attempt at being humorous. 

Warnings for this chapter: Angst - anxiety attacks, reader is implied to be bisexual, crying, self doubt, reader is very frustrated- steamy make out session  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Word Count: 4,945

Taglist: @mischiefmakerliesmith5​ @snowythellama​ @namjoonsslutakakoreanmanswhore​ (If you want to be tagged just let me know) :) 

Hope you enjoy! 

You were angry. 

So so fucking angry as you stormed down the street. Your body temperature was skyrocketing and you felt something animalistic deep down in your core that made you want to turn on your heel and tear your boss apart. 

No. That’s not what these powers are for. 

Nodding along with your thoughts you tried to calm yourself, to will away the sparks at your fingertips, and to slow down the erratic beating of your heart. You were aware that many people had watched you break Jaehyun’s nose, watched you storm out of the cafe with you creative choice of words.

Scrub the leeches out of the devil’s asshole. You gave yourself some props, you got your point across that you would never want to be with someone who constantly disrespects your boundaries, even after you had told them to stop. Your heart was already taken anyway. 

What would the boys think? How would they react? 

You wondered what the boys would have done if they had witnessed you throwing that ferocious jab at your boss. Would they be proud that you finally stood up for yourself? Would they be disappointed? Would they regret giving you powers in the first place? 

Your heart dropped at the thought. Maybe your temper was too short for these powers. One wrong move and you could ruin someone’s life. Letting out a frustrated huff, you turned into a nearby alleyway. Your frustration and anger were building, leaving you feeling like a walking furnace. Leaning against a brick wall, you closed your eyes and thought of ways to cool yourself down. 

Icebergs, Antarctica, glaciers, ice cold water... Truth be told, you just wanted to find the nearest lake and plunge into it. That would help you clear your thoughts and help your get back to your neutral state. 

Pressing your cheek up against the cool surface of the building, you almost moaned out loud at the relieving sensation. Just a few more moments and you can walk home with a semi-clear head. 

“Well, isn’t this a pretty sight,” Ah shit. “What’s a pretty little thing doing out so late by herself?” un-fucking-believable. Rolling your eyes you turned your gaze to the voice at hand, sizing him up, doing very little to hide your agitation. 

“It’s 4:30 in the afternoon,” His eyebrows shot to his hairline at your snappy remark before he laughed coolly and you wanted nothing more than to swipe that smirk clean off his face. He reminded you of Jaehyun, just from his body language. It made you heat up all over again. 

“No need for hostilities,” he responded, slyly. “Just wanted to make sure you were alright. I was worried.” he placed him hand over his heart in an attempt to make him look more genuine, but you could see right through him. 

This guy’s bullshit smells worse than Jungkook’s sweaty gym socks.

“Oh, I’m sure you were,” you rolled your eyes, pushing yourself off the wall. “I appreciate the kind gesture, but if you could be so kind as to leaving me alone, that’d be fabulous.” just as you were about to walk out of the alley and continue your path home, a hand grabbing your arm stopped you. 

“Hey, wait a second!” 

You felt that if you clenched your teeth any harder, your jaw would break. 

“Let go of my arm.” It was taking everything in you to not rip this stranger a new one. You were completely on edge, frustrated to no end, and wanting nothing more than to go home and neutralize your nerves. It was rather obvious that your powers were based off your emotions, so now it was important to make sure you weren’t feeling too much negativity to cause serious damage. 

The stranger didn’t listen and if you weren’t overheating before, you definitely were now. Your face felt extremely flushed and uncomfortable. Your ears were ringing like a hot tea kettle and your heart was pounding just enough for the constant thump to hurt and hinder your breathing in the slightest. You felt the sweat on the back of your neck slowly trickle down and settle at the small of your back and your hands felt just as clammy. Too focused on not maiming this annoying stranger, you didn’t even realize he was still talking until you forced yourself to stop paying attention to your body in hopes that would distract you long enough to get away. 

“Well, let me at least get your numb-” 

“No.” 

He blinked at you, frowning and you leveled his gaze with yours, hoping the pupils weren’t engulfed in glowing white. “Let. Go.” your words were deadly calm, despite your mind screaming at you to just grab him and toss him into oncoming traffic. No need to get too violent. 

Things were getting too dangerous now as you felt the palms of your hands start to burn and you looked, unclenching your fist to reveal red palms and small sparks dancing along the lines of your fingers. 

The jerk continued to stare at you before his frown turned to a scowl and his grip on your arm tightened to the point it kind of hurt. The feeling of anger and fear quickly unlocked your fight or flight instinct and you were soon swinging your hand up to smack him across the face. Short and simple to allow you time to get away, or so you thought. 

What you didn’t expect was for him to catch your wrist and twist it, rendering you unable to use your hands and for your heart rate to kick up like it just took eight shots of pure caffeine. Natural instinct along with your powers kicked in like no tomorrow, and soon you found yourself kneeing the guy in the groin a little too hard, effectively making him release one of your hands. Not taking into account of how hot your palms were, you brought butt of your palm up and into his chin, knocking him off his feet and releasing your other hand. 

His cry of pain would have been satisfying had you not been freaking out so badly, seeing the blistering red mark on his chin and neck. You had burned him. 

Bringing your palm up to your cheek, you hissed at how hot your hand was, trying and failing to calm your breathing as you turned and hauled ass out of the alley, knocking into some people as you went. Your mind was working overtime, making sure to not use too much of your enhanced speed, yelling at you to use more of your agility so you wouldn’t bulldoze anyone else down, and making sure to not think too much in fear of triggering your elemental powers. 

This was all just too much. You could hear every car horn, every heartbeat of the people you passed, vision blurring and focusing on all the wrong things, ears ringing, hands burning. Too much. Too much. Too much. 

It’s a wonder how you managed to make it to your door in one physical piece while your mind felt like it was going to implode on itself. 

                                                     ~~~

Taking the door off its hinges would have been impressive to Seokjin, had he not seen the state you were in as you walked through the threshold. There you stood, the disconnected door in your hand, your chest heaving up and down like you had just run a marathon, and sweat dripping down your temple and onto your neck. Your eyes looked cloudy, unable to focus on anything and if Jin had looked closer, he would have saw the rapid movement of your pupils shrinking and dilating in a desperate attempt to lock on something without your vision blurring seconds later. 

“. . . (Y/n)?” Standing from his spot on the couch, he stepped into your line of sight and your heart began to pound even louder in your ears as you saw him getting closer. 

His lips were moving but you couldn’t hear a single word. The sound of your erratic heart beat was driving you insane. Everything was too loud, too hot and Jin was suddenly way too close to you, reaching out to try and grab your hand that was most certainly hot enough to burn him. “No!” you snatched your hand away, cradling it to your chest. Jin held his hands up in surrender, moving slowly so as not to startle you too much. 

“Give me your hand,” he stated, softly making sure to not extend his hand too fast. He looked on patiently as he watched you frantically shake your head. “No, I-I’ll burn you. I can’t- I just- I don’t-” Moving away from him you began pacing back in forth, rubbing at your face as if the skin agitated you. 

“God, everything is too hot!” you screamed, before your clothes abruptly burst into flames. Seokjin screeched, jumping back so as not to get burned, staring in disbelief as you just . . . stood there as the fire ate away at your clothes, until there was nothing left, leaving you as naked as the day you were born. You were scared, so scared to the point that you didn’t care about the fact that you were standing stark naked in front of Jin, or the fact that anyone in the hallway could literally walk past and see you as well. 

Looking up, Jin saw the way your lip trembled, saw the way tears formed at the brim of your eyes, saw the way your hands shook. The shaky breath that was exhaled from your lips made his heart break, watching as the first tear streaked down your cheek, followed by another and then another until you crumbled down on your knees, your face buried into your hands, sobs wracking your entire body. 

Jin watched on, shocked into silence by the sudden outburst before his face softened into a look of sympathy. He cautiously made his way over to you with the same carefulness you would give to a frightened deer. He lowered himself down until he was on his knees in front of you, regarding the way your shoulders shook and how you were trying and failing to even out your breaths. Lifting his hand up, he intended to grab your wrist, but because of your enhanced senses, you were able to flinch away from him. You were still too hot. 

Softly calling out your name was met with no reaction, but he knew you heard him. You didn’t want to look at him. You were scared and ashamed, the events of today felt like they spanned an entire week. You were so tired. So when Jin called out to you again, you peeled your hands away from your face and was struck with the sheer ethereal beauty that was Kim Seokjin. You were awestruck. 

Going for a different approach, he simply held his hand out to you, giving you the choice of whether you would take his hand or not. You stared at his hand as if it were some sort of foreign object before looking back up at his face and shaking your head. “No,” you whispered, fresh tears streaking down the (s/c) skin of your cheeks. “I’ll burn you.” 

“No, you won’t.” Was his delicate reply. He wanted nothing more than to wrap you in his arms and comfort the tears away. Whisper sweet nothings into your ear until you were finally able to feel okay again. But he knew that if he did that right now, things would only erupt into chaos. Baby steps. 

“I trust you, (Y/n).” 

Looking back up at his face, studying his features, focusing on him. Only him. He was there for you and your heart began to beat faster. Taking a deep breath, you looked back at his awaiting hand, slowly extending yours. Pulling back when you felt his skin against yours, only to realize he hadn’t flinched away from you. You knew your skin was hot, probably even unbearably hot, but he didn’t show any signs of discomfort other than a slight clenching of his jaw. 

After he helped you stand up, he still held onto your hand as he led you into the bathroom, gently guiding you into the bathtub before sitting down behind you. Had you been more clear in the head, you would have asked him why he was still in his clothes. 

Leaning forward, he turned the water to cold, watching as it pooled around you both, looking on in disbelief as the water immediately began to evaporate as soon as it hit your skin. He then turned on the shower head, feeling the cold water cascade over the both of you, hearing you sigh in relief and watching your tensed body finally relaxing. You leaned back into his touch as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders, rubbing the skin in soothing circles. Reaching up, you grabbed his hands, squeezing them gratefully and relaxing into his chest. 

You stayed like that for a while; in complete silence with cold water flowing down from the tops of your head to the tips of your toes. Rubbing at each others knuckles, as a way to acknowledge one another without having to actually say anything. You’ve never been this intimate with him or either of the boys before, letting him cuddle in the bathtub with you, let alone him seeing you naked. Sure there would be relaxing sessions on the couch while watching a movie, but for it to get this far, was truly mind boggling. You were much more comfortable around other women, it seemed much more natural to be intimate around them, granted this did feel nice and it was helping you calm your nerves that just moments before made you take out an entire door. These past few days have been absolutely insane. 

You remembered what the boys had said; if you didn’t want the powers and responsibility anymore, all you had to do was wish them away. But even as you think about the events that occurred today, and the similar events that might occur in the future, you realize that you still wouldn’t give up these powers. What kind of impression would you have of yourself if you just gave up just because some days are harder than most. You wouldn’t be able to look at yourself if you gave up so easily. You had to keep fighting. 

You both stayed in the tub until you had finally cooled down and started shivering from the cold water. Stepping out of the tub, you turned to Jin, only to see his clothes completely soaked. You looked at him curiously but he only smiled at you before beginning to peel his shirt off. 

Eyes, widening and face reheating, you tried your hardest to keep your eyes trained on his face and damn near popped a blood vessel when he looked at you and smirked. He even had the audacity to wink at you. Good to know his playful attitude was intact. Huffing out a breath, you crossed your arms over yourself to try and keep yourself warm. The thought of trying to use your powers to regulate your body heat sounded absolutely atrocious with how you were so mentally tired, so you opted for the old fashioned way. You turned to reach for a towel hanging on the rack just as Jin pulled his pants down, your heart rate picking up to match the speed of the flash. You felt another shiver run down your spine when you finally wrapped the towel around your body, a reminder that you were in fact freezing your ass off and needed to be put in some warm clothes immediately. 

You felt like you were going to get whiplash with the way your body was trying to get used to your powers. First you were so angry to the point you burned your clothes off, and now, you were freezing to the point where you were desperate to have clothes back on. You grabbed another towel and turned back around to hand it to Jin, who had been staring at you intently, noticing the way your body reacted to the cool air. After grabbing the towel and wrapping it around his hips, he gently grabbed your hand and led you to his room. You were a little confused at first, wondering why he wasn’t leading you to your room so you could get dressed, but then realized that he might be letting you use his hoodie. You almost started skipping behind him in excitement as out of all the boys’ hoodies to steal, you loved stealing his. 

There was something about Jin’s hoodies that were just extra cozy. If he had noticed your change in demeanor, he didn’t comment on it as he opened his door to his room and let you in first. Walking in, you immediately sat yourself down on his bed, hugging the towel close around your chest to keep it from falling and awkwardly crossing your ankles in an attempt to appear more casual. You dropped one of your hands to run it along his comforter. It felt warm and soft and it caused goosebumps to travel along your arms and legs due to the texture against your palm. As your hand glided back and forth against the blanket, you wondered how you were going to explain this entire situation to Jin and the rest of the boys without them thinking that giving you these powers was a mistake. 

Hey guys, I quit my job by breaking my boss’ nose because he wouldn’t stop groping me and while I was walking home, some creep tried to hit on me and I ended up burning him after he tried to grab me. Oh and also, we need to look into getting a new door because I accidentally hulked out on it trying to get into the apartment, and I spontaneously combusted because I was in the middle of a panic attack and Jin saw me naked! :D 

Yeah that conversation is going to be... quite interesting. You internally cringed, wondering how you were going to muster up enough energy to even start that conversation. 

Too lost in thought about the entire ordeal, you didn’t notice Jin rummaging through his drawers until he had set out a hoodie and pair of boxer briefs in front of you. The hoodie looked like it could swallow Jin whole, so you immediately knew that you would be swimming in the article of clothing before you even unfolded it. You were grateful for the size though because as soon as you had put it on, you were immediately engulfed in warmth and you exhaled as your cold body was finally able to start relaxing. 

Jin smiled at you as you attempted and failed to get rid of the sweater paws that were forming around your hands and led you back out to the living room. By now, the sun was close to setting and the door to the hallway was still very much laying on the floor instead of being on it’s hinges. You groaned as you sat down on the couch, Jin sitting down next to you and setting your legs on his lap. 

After a few beats of silence with Jin massaging the muscles of your calves and you fiddling with the hem of the hoodie, you finally looked up to see him looking at you. “How are you feeling?” he asked, searching your face for any distress. You opened your mouth out of instinct, ready to deliver your answer as if you were on autopilot. 

“I feel fine.” 

He raised his eyebrow at you, telling you that he didn’t believe you for a second. “Come on, (Y/n), we know you better than anyone. You can’t lie to us. You can’t lie to me.” Gently grabbing your chin and making him look at you made you puff out a breath. Rolling your eyes, you moved away from his hand and leaned back against the couch. 

“I don’t- I mean, I don’t really know where to start,” you shrugged your shoulders, trying to rack your brain for the right words to say. “I broke my boss’s nose because he kept trying to advance on me even after I said I wasn’t interested. He kept saying that my “no” was secretly a “yes”. He wanted the chase, it was all like some fucking game for him. I told him no again, and when he grabbed my arm, I punched him in the face.” 

Jin nodded, listening intently and waiting for you to continue. You wanted to leave it at that, but you knew he wouldn’t let up until you had gotten everything off your chest. “I walked out after we had yelled at each other. I had some pretty.... unique parting words for him, but then I was walking home and I was just so angry and everything was suddenly heating up and going in and out of focus. So I stepped aside to try and calm myself down, but then this guy tried to hit on me. He was so creepy, and he had grabbed me, but I had burned his face. I just-” you didn’t realize how you were still worked up about the situation as you choked on your words. 

“I was just so scared that I would hurt someone innocent and I was so angry I couldn’t even see straight which made me even more scared and I just wanted to get home but then that happened,” you gestured towards the broken door and sniffled, not realizing you had started crying again. Luckily your body seemed too exhausted to overheat and you were grateful when Jin pulled you into his lap and held you close. 

Burying your face into his neck, you let out the tears you had been holding back all day, finally being able to let your body sag after all the tension was released. Jin soothingly rubbed your back, pulling you to face him after you had finished letting everything out, and wiping away at the tears that slid down your cheek. Your face and eyes probably looked puffy from all the crying and you felt like you looked crazy, but it had only made Jin fall in love with you more, letting him see you be so vulnerable and being able to comfort you. 

He kept his hand on your cheek and watched as you leaned into his touch closing your eyes and sighing. When you were able to stabilize your breathing, you finally opened your eyes and were once again struck by the pure beauty that was Kim Seokjin. 

“You truly are beautiful, Seokjin,” 

You could have cringed at the way your voice whispered those words, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to nitpick the way you sounded right now. You felt your ears begin to burn after he had remained silent, too lost in your self doubt to see how red his ears and cheeks were turning. You went to move off of his lap, intent on going to your room to lay down, but were stopped when you felt his hand on your cheek become firm to keep you in place. He took a second to look at you, from you (h/l (h/c) hair, to the way you hiccupped trying to recover from crying so much,  to the redness that surrounded your (e/c) eyes to the way left over tear streaks smeared on you (s/c) skin. He felt like he had spent thousands of years with you as well. 

“I know,” 

You couldn’t hold back your laughter even if you wanted to. Your body shook with the force of your laugh. Burying your face in his neck again, you let his laugh fill your ears while you felt his hands massaging your back and leg. You stayed like that for a while, the only noise filling the room being your occasional sniffle and the little hitch in the shakiness of your breath from still trying to recover from your crying session. You still felt upset and you had no doubt that one small thing could possibly trigger another crying session, but right now, you were content with keeping your thoughts empty and just listening to the sound of Jin’s heart beating clearly in your ears. 

You were close to dozing off in his lap when he finally spoke up, making you tune out of your little bubble. 

“For what it’s worth, you are the most beautiful girl I’ve laid my eyes on,” You couldn’t tell if he was being sincere or not, so you sat up to look at his face again. After examining his face, you still couldn’t tell if he was being serious, so you snorted and playfully smacked his chest. “Yeah right,” you rolled your eyes. “Don’t try to pull that on me after you’ve been alive for over a thousand years, mister.” 

You giggled a little and he smiled at you, cupping your cheek again, forcing you to look at his face and your giggling to fade. “There is no one who is as incredible as you, (Y/n). You are truly the most beautiful girl I’ve ever encountered.” 

You were at a complete loss for words, gaping at him. You felt your ears heat up, wondering if the pounding you heard was his heart or yours. Noticing him staring at you intently, you also noticed his eyes flicking from your eyes to your lips constantly but you felt stuck. You were way too scared to just lean forward and connect your lips, even though you’ve always dreamed about what those pillows for lips would feel like against your own. You got lost in thought once again thinking about how unfair it was for this man to have such luscious lips, it should be a crime. 

Too far gone in your own thoughts, you barely noticed Jin leaning close to you, up until his nose brushed yours and he stopped. Both of your eyes were closed, yours being closed out of fear that you might spontaneously combust, his being closed in fear that this might be a dream. You’ve dreamed about this moment for so long, wondering if he was waiting for you to make the call of whether you’re going to press your lips against his or pull away. 

Releasing one shaky breath, you decided to throw caution to the wind and lean forward. Your lips brushed against each other for no more than a second, pulling away for a moment and searching his face, only to find him staring at you as if you were one of the seven wonders of the world. You took that as a sign to lean back in, cupping his cheek and pressing your lips more firmly onto his. The feeling of his lips against yours could easily be something to become addicted to, as you felt his hands trail down your back, causing you to shiver while they settled on your hips.  

You wanted to deepen the kiss, so you opened your mouth and swiped your tongue on his bottom lip. That must have triggered something in him, because he trailed his hands down from your hips to grip your ass and squeeze, which caused you to yelp, and for him to push his tongue deeper into your mouth. 

Out of all the ways you had thought this day would end, french kissing one of the men you’ve been in love with for months definitely did not cross your mind. But you couldn’t really complain when Jin shifted his hips up and you got a very.... detailed feel of him. The whimper that left your lips could have brought any man down to his knees, and Jin contemplated on whether he should start moving your hips against his or if that might overwhelm you too much. 

Your body had started moving on its own accord as you began moving your hips against his, feeling his groan against your mouth. You kept moving your hips, getting worked up at the feeling of him against you and the sounds leaving his mouth, until it had all began to feel like a little too much and the clothes you were wearing began to feel too stuffy. So, against your better judgment, you began to slow your hips down, pressing one more tender kiss against his lips before pulling away. 

He searched your face for any sign of discomfort and when you had clarified that it was just you getting a little too excited, he chuckled and leaned in to kiss your forehead. “It’s okay,” he gently reassured you when you went to bury your face in his neck again. It was beginning to become a favorite spot of yours. “We go at your pace, no matter how fast or slow that might be.” 

You didn’t think you could love this man any more, and yet here you were constantly being proven wrong. It didn’t take long for you to finally doze off, with the events that happened, you were surprised you hadn’t just collapsed as soon as you got home. You were lulled to sleep by Jin’s comforting hand rubbing your back, his lips on your forehead and his heart beat in your ears. 

He was finally able to relax his tensed body when he felt your body release all the tension that had built up, closing his eyes and almost dozing off himself, until he heard footsteps walking toward the apartment. 

“What happened to the door?!”  

A/N 

Alright, so this chapter is very long overdue. I’m pretty sure I started this story back when my senior year of highschool began and now I just recently finished my freshman year of college. I either couldn’t find the time or motivation to try and finish the chapter but I’m glad I finally did. That being said, I can’t be too sure when the next chapter is going to be, but I hope you stick around nonetheless! 

Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and please let me know what you think! your feedback is always welcomed! 

[mittensmorgul]

Incoming sad rant about the spn ending. Don't read if you're not interested in reading something like that, but I literally don't know anyone in real life I can talk about this with, and I really need an outlet:

Sometimes I can put the way SPN ended out of my head and think "it's just a stupid show. I don't have to accept the finale, and the writers/network are wrong." But other times I just get gripped with really intense sadness at the disrespect that was done to my favorite characters. To the point where I'll sit still for hours a day, just wallowing in it. It ruins my whole day and mood. And then I think to myself "I'll just find some other stories that end better!" but then I get sad again, cuz I don't think I will ever love other characters as much as I love Dean and Cas, and then I spiral again thinking about all the potential this unique beautiful love story had, and how we're never going to get the closure we deserve.

I really hate that after all this time, I'm a grown ass adult getting sad over fictional characters. I know it's not that trivial, but I sometimes wish it was so I could get over it 😞

Hi hi, and first of all *socially distanced internet hugs* I’m sorry you don’t have an outlet, but you’re always welcome to chat with me (if you come off anon we can talk privately if you want. My DM’s are always open, even when it takes me a bit to reply. no one should have to feel alone in this.)

I’m actually gonna start at the bottom of your message and work my way up, because I also, as a grown-ass adult, get sad over fictional characters. And I need to emphasize that this is the *point* of fiction. A well-written and developed fictional character is *indistinguishable in our minds from an actual real human being.* The way we react to them *feels exactly the same to our brains and bodies* as how we react to real people, and that’s a testament to just how well developed Dean and Cas were in canon.

I am not a young person. I have engaged with a lot of media over my life, and have *never* felt this strongly about fictional characters before, so I understand what you mean when you struggle to think about finding another story that ended better, or struggle to think about finding other characters you might become this attached to or experience this sort of emotional investment in. And I think there is another factor you didn’t consider there: The vast majority of other media I have engaged with, I was able to relate to on a level of “oh that’s nice for them” or “wow that sucks for them.” I have never, and possibly never will again, feel so utterly invested in fictional characters, to the point where it affects my real life as much as Supernatural has. Period.

I will likely never experience *literal physical lovesickness* over two fictional characters ever again. I hadn’t ever experienced it *in my own real life* before, and yet 15.18 triggered all those symptoms in me. As an aromantic person, this was pretty shocking to me. It also says a lot about just how real these characters feel to us, and how important they have become to us. They make us feel this! This is not an accident. It’s *incredibly difficult* to create fictional characters with this range and depth of emotional connection, and yet here we are.

I think that’s the biggest evidence possibly to present in defense of the statement that THIS IS NOT JUST SOME STUPID SHOW.

Other evidence: this fandom, still going strong after 15 years. Look at every SPN convention for proof. Look at AO3, where there are more posted stories about Dean and Cas than literally any other pairing on the planet (by a not-small margin, too). If that isn’t enough evidence, we have fanart to look at as well. Look through @theroadsofararchive where at the time of this posting there are over 40,000 artworks catalogued, and more being added all the time. Same with @canonspngifs where you can search through through nearly 75,000 gifsets organized by an excellent tagging system and made by dedicated fans out of love for the thing. This is all proof that you are not alone, that so many of us care just as deeply about them as you do. Not even mentioning the people who have written hundreds of millions of words of meta, articles, and even masters theses and doctoral dissertations on Supernatural and the fandom. This is a unique thing, even within the larger fandom culture. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that your feelings for it are stupid or irrelevant or wrong.

But also don’t let anyone try to convince you that you must accept the finale as part of the story if you don’t want to. Don’t even let *yourself* believe that if you don’t want to. This show has done more to play with the themes of “what is reality” and “who gives a story meaning” and alternate universes and curses and djinn dreams to easily account for whatever the heck the finale was.

my current go-to theory: everything after Chuck’s defeat takes place in the Mockumentary Alternate Universe... it fits way too uncomfortably well... and then I just apply the fic I received in a cosmic transmission from the actual supernatural universe wrote detailing the events of what *I* hoped would transpire afterward. I know this doesn’t work for everyone, but it works for me, mostly because it *has* to. It means far too much to me not to.

You are not alone in having invested yourself into this story, and these characters. Your feelings about them are not wrong or stupid or frivolous. And the proof is everyone else who feels the same exact way, who connected to this story (and to each other through this story), and whose lives have been forever altered through this journey together. The fact that Dabb turned out to have been Chuck Junior and couldn’t see (or was prevented from showing us) what Team Free Will would’ve chosen to do with that after defeating their original creator just stands to prove to me that the finale can’t possibly be The Truth, you know?

I don’t know if any of this will help you, or provide you some small comfort right now, but maybe it will eventually. We’re all processing the loss of the show and the abject failure of story that was the finale in different ways, and I’m sure our emotional reactions will shift over time. It was just A Lot to process all in the span of a few incredibly emotional weeks-- not even mentioning how all of that emotional response was compounded by the american elections and surrounding nonsense, the general stress of enduring a global pandemic and all that entails, and *waves hands around broadly at everything else contributing to the trauma occurring in the collective of humankind right now.* We’ve all been emotionally compromised, so be kind to yourself in how you feel you’re coping with it all.

And know that no matter what, you are not alone in how you’re feeling. The grief is real, and our brains don’t care if it’s felt for fictional characters or real people. This was honestly a once in a lifetime experience for a lot of us, and not even the wtf of the finale can kill it for us if we don’t let it. I reject that particular piece of rusty rebar and choose to believe in a just and narratively coherent resolution. To do anything less feels like dishonoring the story and characters who have drawn me in and made me feel so much for them over the years. If the story itself couldn’t honor them properly, then I can choose to do so myself.

<3

[ultraintrovertedgryffindor]

Hi do you think u can do a Roman Godfrey imagine where they are dating and y/n is a good innocent girl but freaky with Roman and her parents want to Roman over for dinner Roman wants to piss off her dad and does subtle things to annoy him like touching y/n at the end of the night when they are saying goodbye at his car they have a heated make out sesh and Roman knows her dad is looking through the window so spices it up a bit

Of course! I will always remember you, Anon, as the first person to make a request ❤ I really hope you enjoy! Being the first request I’ve had, it might flop lol. But I hope this is at least close to what you had in mind!

Warning: Slightly NSFW

~~~~~~~~~~

Having such a sweet personality made everyone think you were innocent and you were, for the most part. Roman was one of many people who thought this, comparing you to Shelley or Letha levels of innocence.

But when Roman decided he wanted to play games with you, he was shocked to find out you could play games just as well as he could.

After getting to know you some, he quickly realized that the sweet innocent side to you actually wasn’t a front like some people faked. You were genuinely caring, and probably the sweetest person he’d ever met besides Shelley.

But something about Roman could make even the most angelic human on earth act like a demon behind closed doors once in a while.

Roman definitely brought out your wild side, not in a bad way either. He surely got you to come out of your shell.

For as long as you can remember, you’ve always been sweet and you knew that’s how you wanted to live. But you’d admit, it was fun letting loose with one of your favorite people. Not having to worry so much about consequences and such.

Yours parents were bewildered and astonished that their sweet little girl could date someone so...not like you. They didn’t know how to react when you told them, especially your mother.

Your father however, organized his feelings pretty quickly. The first thing he wanted to do was find Roman, kill him, and feed him to the family dog.

But instead, he asked you to invite Roman over for dinner.

Now if it was literally anyone else, even the Rumancek boy, you wouldn’t feel as panicked to invite them over. But knowing Roman, you knew it had no chance of ending well.

But you couldn’t exactly say no to your loving parents. You knew they just wanted to protect you, even if it was unbearably annoying.

You internally groaned when you saw Roman smirked evilly when you asked him to have dinner with the ‘rents.

You told him and made it very clear that your father already did not like him, but he only responded with, “I’m not gonna let an old man scare me away from being with you.” Then giving you a quick kiss on the forehead before walking off to find his sister.

Off to a fabulous start...

Roman already knew how he was going to act at your place as soon as you told him to behave. He wasn’t one to take orders, even from you. He wasn’t going to be disrespectful per say, but definitely wasn’t going to be intimidated by some old guy. Even if he was your father.

Getting ready for the dinner was nerve wracking already. Your palms were already starting to sweat slightly, heartbeat irregular, some of your nervous ticks sticking out like a sore thumb.

Your mother noticed this of course, you smoothing down your blouse to the point of your hands turning a soft pink was a clue indeed.

“Don’t worry, sweetie. I’ve already convinced your dad to kill him quick and painlessly if he chooses to go that route.” She joked, showing a sickeningly sweet smile.

“Ha ha, not funny.” You huffed.

You almost screamed in terror when the doorbell rang twice. Roman had already texted you that he was on his way, but you were so nervous that anything could’ve spooked you at this point.

“I’ll get it!” You quickly voiced, running to the front door.

You opened the door, revealing the man you’re so fond of. His hair was slicked back and his mouth upturned in his usual smirk that made your knees go weak.

“Hello, my dearest.” He smirked, leaning over to give you a kiss but you quickly dodged it, making him place his lips on your cheek instead. “It’s gonna be that type of dinner then.” He hummed disappointedly.

You chuckled softly. “Not when my parents are just five feet away from us.”

Roman rolled his green eyes. “Fine.”

You brought Roman into the kitchen where your mother was currently doing some finishing touches on the main course. “Mom, this is Roman.” You introduced.

You could tell your mother was wary at first, eyeing him up and down subtly. “It’s so good to finally meet you, Mrs. Y/L/N.” He smiled warmly, reaching out his hand.

Roman’s charm quickly put your mother’s worries at ease, her giving a similar warm smile and taking his hand for a tender handshake.

“The Godfrey kid here?” You heard your father’s unnecessarily booming voice call out, promptly entering the door frame of the kitchen.

You turned around to see your father’s stoic face and almost laughed. Your father was a pretty joyful man, so seeing him play up the role of protective papa bear was a sight to see.

“Dad, this is Roman.” You said, a more obvious nervousness to your voice than before.

Roman did the same thing before. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Y/L/N.” Reaching his hand out with a smile.

“You can call me Sir, little Godfrey.”

“Dad...” You whined.

Roman only smiled, laughing it off. “Yes, sir.” He said, a slight annoyance in his voice. He wrapped his arm around your waist, and you could feel the anger by how hard he was gripping you.

You could see your father fixate his glare on his hand that was around you, and you immediately got the hint, gently removing Roman’s arm. “Dinner’s ready! Right, mom?” You voiced suddenly, trying desperately to break some of the tension.

“Uh, yeah! Pretty much!” Your mother grinned.

“Yay! Let’s go!” You exclaimed, pretty much dragging your parents and Roman to the dining room table.

Despite your nerves being through the roof, the smell of delicious food eased it just a tad.

Until Roman started to act up. Wearing a skirt was definitely a bad idea. The whole night was a bad idea, but oh well, couldn’t change it now.

While a friendly conversation between Roman and your mother started, he placed a hand on your exposed knee.

It was innocent as first. He always had been a touchy feely type and usually it didn’t advance any further than that unless he wanted sex, so you didn’t really think anything of it. 

Then you felt his hand slowly trail up your thigh, moving the delicate fabric out of the way.

You looked at Roman with a subtle glare. You balled up your fist in anger when he only gave you a playful wink.

You stopped his hand from moving any further, but he really only saw it as a challenge.

While you were struggling not to make a noise or squirm in your seat, Roman was carrying on the conversation effortlessly.

Roman finally won, reaching the spot that was aching for his touch against your better judgement.

You gasped softly, quickly covering it up with a cough. “Chicken’s a bit dry, ma.” You chuckled nervously, trying to squeeze your legs together.

Roman gave you a questioning look, feigning innocence. “I think it’s perfect, Mrs. Y/L/N. Probably the best home cooked meal I’ve had in, well, ever.” He chuckled.

Roman suddenly hit that perfect spot, causing you to spasm and slam your fist on the table. “Suck up.” You coughed out. 

“Y/N, are you okay?” Your mother asked with concern.

“Yeah, you good babe?” Roman asked, putting the emphasis on babe and faking concern.

Your father was less than pleased, glaring at Roman with such intensity that could scare most people away, but Roman just smirked,

“I’m alright!” You almost shouted. “Just suddenly not feeling well is all! Think I just had some bad cafeteria food.” You forced a laugh.

“That’s why I’ve said to always take your own lunch!” Your mother said, unknowingly saving you from being center attention.

The rest of the dinner went, well...it went.

Being teased by Roman most of the time, you were almost overjoyed when the night was finally coming to an end.

“Again, the food was fantastic.” Roman told your mother, kissing her hand, her smiling in reply.

Roman turned and kissed you on the cheek, just close enough to graze your lips. Then he turned back to your father, who’s glare never left Roman. “It was nice to meet you...sir.”

You bit your lip, waiting to see if this was the moment your father was going to finally snap. “Was nice to meet you too...Mr. Godfrey.” He said, basically gritting his teeth and holding his glare.

“Okay...well...time to go!” You said, almost pushing Roman out the door.

As soon as the door closed, Roman let out a hearty laugh. “Your old man is really something!” He put his hand over his chest while continuing to laugh, leaning against his red convertible to keep himself from doubling over.

You only glared at him. “Roman.”

“What?” Roman asked, wearing a cheeky grin. “Oh! Are you jealous that I kissed your mom’s hand? Milfs aren’t my type, darling.” He chuckled, but stopped once he realized you didn’t find what he was saying funny. “You have your father’s glare.”

You sighed, rolling your eyes and shaking your head. “I can’t believe you. I specifically told you to behave!” You fussed.

“Oh, really? Your soaked panties told me otherwise.”

You blushed, biting your lip in frustration, then letting out a tiny laugh. “I hate you...” You smiled lovingly.

Roman straightened himself out and beckoned you over with his pointer finger. And like a magnet, you gravitated towards him and into his arms.

You loved Roman’s hugs.

While still enveloped in his arms, from the corner of his eye, Roman saw someone watching the two of you at the window. He smirked when he saw that it was your father.

Being the little shit that he is, Roman pulled away from the wholesome hug and brought his lips down to yours, devouring you in a not so wholesome kiss.

You were shocked at first, but soon relaxed into it, now not having to worry about your parents seeing.

But your father was, and Roman knew that, causing him to deepen the kiss just to spite him.

Feeling Roman’s tongue massage against yours felt heavenly, making you let out an involuntary moan.

Roman opened his eyes to peek to see if your father was still at the window, and to his amusement, he was.

Roman knew he was testing his luck, but that was part of the fun. He brought his hand up to your throat and squeezed gently, while the other hand was brought down harshly on your ass with a loud smack.

You squealed happily, loving the feeling of his hands on you. But you knew it was time for him to leave, so you pulled away.

You smiled when you saw how swollen his lips were. “Alright, Casanova. Time for you to go.” You voiced, bringing your mouth just below his ear. “I’ll come by your place later.” You whispered seductively and pulled away.

“As much as I’d love that, I have a feeling sneaking out won’t be so easy for you tonight.” He said, trying to hide a smile.

You furrowed your brows and smiled confusingly. “What makes you say that?”

“Tell your dad that it’s rude to stare.” Roman said, quickly getting into his car and driving away.

It’s rude to stare? What the hell does that mean?

Turning around to head back inside your house is when you finally realized what Roman meant. You saw your father glaring at you from the window, arms crossed and his face noticeably a shade of red.

Fuck...

~~~~~~~~~~

[bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture]

Hmm, still thinking about character profiles… might try and do something with that after this arc, since I didn’t do it before the USJ arc. Or maybe I should wait until after the Sports Festival? I suppose I’ll have to wait and see if I have enough material…

Still, it does feel weird to try and do character profiles when there are other ones out there that are so much more detailed and really dig into things. I mean, it can’t necessarily hurt for me to do, but it’d also push back the chapters even further when I just want to get caught up, so… bleh.

Anyways, chapter.

[No. 16 - Know Your Enemies]

First off, Mineta, why. Just. Sigh. 

Our first panel has izuku and Tsuyu wading towards the edge of the water, Izuku cradling his broken finger while Tsuyu drags Mineta along. Long and short, Mineta says the villains will be stuck together all day. Izuku is muttering about how lucky they were, because that move was a real gamble, and if the villains had been smart, a few of them would have been hidden under the water. He can guess they weren’t thinking ahead, but they still need to be careful…

Tsuyu tells him to stop, since what he’s muttering about is scary. She then asks him what they should do now. Izuku determines that their top priority is calling for help, and that if possible, they should follow the shoreline and make for the exit, avoiding the plaza altogether. (Meanwhile, Tsuyu asks if Izuku’s okay, which he confirms even while wincing over his injury.) Izuku’s narration recounts that their first battle ended in a win, but that he’d made a deadly wrong assumption. 

Huh. Izuku is using his elbow pad as a temporary compress for his broken finger. Interesting.

Tsuyu accepts Izuku’s plan, and then notes that Aizawa is drawing a large number of villains to the plaza. Izuku is worried about their teacher, noting that there’s too many enemies. Of course, Eraserhead is holding his own out there, but it’s too much for him, and that he had to know that, but jumped in to protect the class anyways.

Mineta think Izuku is planning something stupid (which I mean, rude but fair) while Tsuyu gives a neutral ribbit. Izuku clarifies that he isn’t saying they should dive right into the fight - just that they watch for an opening and do what they can to lighten their teacher’s load. The narration from above finishes with an ominous statement - thinking that they stood a chance against those enemies was a grave miscalculation.

Then we get an overview of the USJ and where everyone was sent, serving as the ‘cover page’ for the chapter. 

Interestingly, neither Aoyama or Hagakure have a confirmed location, though I am aware that Hagakure later states she was in the same zone as Shouto. And Shouji… oh, poor Shouji…

Can’t believe my good hugs boy was slandered like this… damn you Viz…

Not to mention the disrespect to our goddess Yaomomo… when will it end...

Next up, we get to see Shouto being casually intimidating. He exhales a chilled breath as his shoulder starts to steam, musing about the villains’ divide and conquer strategy. He then notes with a half-hearted preemptive apology that it’s hard to see the villains who were in the landslide zone as any more than thugs with quirks they can’t even handle. 

Jesus christ where does his ice end.

Shouto approaches the closest villain - perhaps the leader of that squad - his boots crunching in the ice as his left side continues to steam. The squad leader(?) calls him a bastard and complains how he reacted the second he was warped there, as well as wonders if he’s really just a kid before complaining about the pain from the frostbite of the ice.

Shouto briefly flashes back to Shigaraki mentioning how they brought along so many playmates (which I guess confirms that Jirou and/or Shouji forwarded some of what the villains were saying down in the plaza because otherwise there’s no way they should have heard from that distance.) He thinks about how the villains want to kill All Might, and and first, they’d all seemed elite, so they could use their numbers to overwhelm him. But taking a closer look, the pawns are only there for the kids, nothing but a gang of low-level cannon fodder. As far as he can tell, there are only about four or five really dangerous individuals there.

He then sits down(!!!) as he gets the villains’ attention, noting that at the rate they’re going, their skin will rot away from frostbite. The villains are alarm, but Shouto continues on, explaining that he’s trying to become a hero, and that heroes don’t do such horrible things. As he thinks about what he needs to do next, he asks the villains what makes them think they can kill All Might, and to tell him their plan.

Shouto, my man, that is a power move and a half right there, I cannot believe he actually sits down and makes them talk to him like an unruly class of students or sommat. Just, fucking hell, I don’t even know if he realizes how effectively he just asserted his dominance.

Our next scene shift (and the last for this post) is over to Yaomomo, Jirou, and Kaminari in the mountain zone, surrounded by enemies. 

Pick your fighter. I’m Birb Dude. 

A lot of those enemies have weapons of zome kind and are overall fairly intimidating, though there’s also this one fucker-

I’m sorry I just cannot take this one seriously, what the FUCK is that. There’s certainly some other questionable villains in this mess, but that one just. What.

Anyways. Kaminari just dodges a heavy punch from the big villain with the weird helmet on. He yelps as he gets closer to the girls and gets into formation (back to back to back), complaining about his whole life flashing before his eyes and asking who the hell those guys are and what they’re doing there. Jirou tells him to worry about that later, with Yaomomo stating they need to figure out how to get away from that mob. 

Jirou asks Kaminari to confirm he’s a ‘lightning guy’, and then tells him to just fry them all to a crisp. While she’s holding a presumably metal sword. Yeah no, I can’t see anything wrong with that plan. Kaminari is offended because why wasn’t she paying attention when were partners during the battle training? 

He then goes on to explain that he can only cover himself in electricity (so he wants a weapon), then goes on to say that he can discharge it, but he can’t control it - he’d hit them as well! Kind of like Todoroki’s power. He also states that he’s still trying to call for help, but his special transceiver is being jammed. He then finishes with the statement that they can’t rely on him, so he’s relying on them, giving a thumbs up with a bit of zap coming off of it.

Jirou grumbles about how he blabs a lot for a guy, then turns and kicks him into the crowd of villains, telling him to be a human stun gun. Kaminari yelps in disbelief at the betrayal, smacking right into the huge villain who almost punched him before and giving the guy a real good zap. Jirou is unimpressed as Kaminari realizes that the adhoc plan actually worked, and that the two can in fact rely on him after all. Jirou notes that that was easy.

Two other villains move to go after Kaminari, who is STILL somehow zapping the guy (how is that villain not dead yet??), with the rock fisted guy aiming a massive bouldery fist at a scared Kaminari. However, right before it hits, it gets cracked open by some kind of soundsave, leaving the villain’s unprotected fist to land right in Kaminari’s face and get them brutally zapped as well.

The boar-masked villain with knives tries to leap in, but a net shot from seemingly nowhere catches him mid-air and sends him falling to the ground caught up in it. We see right after that it was shot from Yaomomo’s right forearm / elbow, all while she’s blocking another strike from a different villain with her staff. She tells Jirou and Kaminari to get serious, with Jirou apologizing as she lifts her short sword again. 

Jirou unplugs her ear jack from the speaker in her right boot, the jack retracting to normal length as she notes that she had a good plan, but Kaminari… (something? IDK. I guess he’s in the way? Or she wasn’t expecting his quirk limitations?)

We get her full name - Jirou Kyoka - and a description of her quirk, Earphone Jack.

We also get to see her use her quirk without the speakers, directing one of those amplified heartbeats as a direct attack at some of the villains, who hold their hears as they shout from the pain. Jirou blocks another up-close sword attack with her own short sword, nothing that in her costume request, she asked for a way to focus her sound in one direction.

A question about her costume, like. Why are the speakers in her boots? I mean, I know her costume needed speakers to direct her quirk, but why not go for something like Present Mic’s costume where she could have the speakers on her shoulders and so a lot closer to her quirk???

Yeah, I need to try and keep remembering that these are first draft costumes made by fifteen year olds and not meant to be used in the field / against villains yet. Sometimes I am a dumb. Thank you discord for knocking my head straight.

Moving on, we get Yaomomo kicking another villain back as she states that ‘it’s ready’, which confuses Jirou and I guess the villains as well. The villain she kicked stumbles back as Yaomomo crouches over, her back starting to bulge as she notes that it took some time, what with it being a larger object. The back of her costume tears open in a fairly gruesome-seeming image, only for the next panel to reveal it’s some kind of huge sheet that shoot out over her and Jirou’s heads before coming down to completely cover them both.

The villains are confused about the sheet, asking if the kids are trying to shield themselves. Meanwhile, Kaminari seems done shocking the other villains, stumbling as others start to run at him with their weapons or hands poised to strike. Momo clarifies that the sheet is a 100 mm thick insulation sheet, then tells Kaminari ‘now.’ Kaminari, nose bloody, realizes her plan and let her know that. He lifts his arms, telling the villains that he’s actually super strong before bringing them down and fully unleashing his quirk, zapping all of them at once.

Pikachu, use Thunder!

As the quirk wears off, we see all the villains are in no condition to keep fighting. Smoke rises from the insulated sheet as Yaomomo lifts the edge, noting that now that that is handled, she’s worried about the others, so they need to hurry up and regroup. Jirou is flustered as she points out Yaomomo’s wardrobe malfunction (which I will not be sharing here), while Yaomomo calmly replies she can make more clothes. We also get a blurb on Yaomomo’s quirk:

As well as probably one of the most important things that Bones cut out for some stupid reason: belly rolls!

Yes, Yaomomo actually has a healthy weight in the manga. I mean, all the girls do, but still. Why do animes just ruin this stuff. 

Anyways, our last two panels of the page and this half of the chapter show Kaminari totally brain dead as he cheers, with another blurb about his quirk:

Behind all three of them, we see a fist smashing up out of the ground, showing that someone managed to dodge that super-attack after all…

Anyways, that’s a wrap for now. Next time is all Aizawa and Shigaraki, and that’s gonna be… messy. See y’all then!

[ouyangzizhensdad]

I'm reading through some of your meta and in the one about WWX possibly weaponizing MXY being gay you mention how MXY being a molester was fabricated. I agree with this but I always thought that this was a personal headcanon and didn't realize that it was supported by canon. If you're up to it, please may you point me to where it might say this?

Hi anon, 

I’m sad to report that there isn’t a scene where JGY admits before a jury that yes, it was I, I fabricated the claims against Mo Xuanyu, who was a hapless victim all along! which would be convenient for winning arguments quickly and easily. But, I promise you, so long as we read between the lines, it is undeniable that we are meant to understand by the end of the novel that the accusations leveled against Mo Xuanyu were baseless and that he was another victim of JGY’s (and NHS’s!) machinations.

Beyond a purely thematic reading of the novel, which would  therefore highlight  that the theme around how public opinion is willing to believe accusations and condemn without material or sensible proof (particularly so when it comes to people who do not hold a lot of power within society, those who are the Other) is one that is repeated across many characters, the narrative reveal of JGY’s true personality and actions indicates that the accusations against MXY were just  another ploy of JGY’s. 

At the very beginning of the novel, when WWX looks through Mo Xuanyu’s things, he’s able to piece out together that Mo Xuanyu’s “lunacy” seemed rooted in a deep and paranoiac fear of.... something. MXY didn’t just get thrown out of the Sect in disgrace--something clearly happened to him, or he clearly witnessed something that scared him out of his senses. 

“after he returned, he seemed to have gone completely mad—although no one could tell what kind of shock he’d suffered. He had good days and bad ones. It was as if he had been scared witless.” [Chapter 1]

Further into the novel, it is revealed that MXY didn’t actually harass his “peers” but actually only one person: Jin Guangyao. Right after this reveal, we also learn that MXY used to treat JGY with the utmost respect and deference. While Jin Ling seems to misunderstand this past deification of JGY as a side-effect of MXY’s presumed feelings for him, as readers we can see how it actually raises doubts into the claims leveraged against MXY, as it would then seem very out of character for MXY to disrespect JGY by harassing him (especially if one considers that the risks of harassing his powerful half-brother definitely would not outweigh the benefits....).

“Don’t listen to [JGY],” said Wei Wuxian. “Let me tell you—when you grow older, you’ll find out that there are more and more people you want to beat up, but you’ll have to force yourself to get along with them nicely. So, since you’re still young, go beat up all the people you want. At such an age, if you don’t have a few proper fights, your life won’t be complete.”

Jin Ling’s face betrayed faint yearning, yet he still sounded contemptuous, “What are you talking about? Shushu’s advice is for my own good.”

After he spoke, he suddenly remembered that the past Mo Xuanyu had always regarded Jin Guangyao as a deity. He definitely would not have disagreed with Jin Guangyao in any way. Yet, now he was saying not to listen to him. Was it that he really did not hold any improper thoughts toward Jin Guangyao anymore?

(we also learn that Zewu-jun never knew about what supposedly happened, or even who MXY was, which again.....fishy.... JGY what are you hiding...... not mentioning someone harassed you to your bff is one thing, but not introducing him to your half-bro?.... )

Then! Almost right after we learn all this new information, it is also revealed through WWX’s paperman adventures and NMJ’s adventures that JGY is not who he has presented himself to be: he is a master manipulator, who has lied and continues to lie to preserve his position and to eliminate people he perceives as threatening the place he carved for himself in sweat and tears and blood. 

At this point, the deal is pretty much sealed: we have an unreliable witness in the man we now know to be able to do incredibly scary and cruel things (a knowledge that will only be reinforced by the end of the novel once NHS’ plan is completed). What actually happened, how MXY went from someone who deified JGY to someone who would need to be sent away in disgrace and scared into silence and compliance, all this is not told to us by the novel. It is possible that JGY might have seen MXY as a potential accomplice to his deeds (like he did his other half-brother, XY) (EDIT: I DREAMED UP THAT XY was one of JGS’s bastard children, please disregard it), or that he might have seen MXY as a potential threat to his position because of they shared a father--honestly, I can see many possibilities here! 

Also, it is important to consider that even the claim of MXY’s “lunacy”  is pretty fraught and ambiguous. The novel ends up setting up the idea that MXY’s erratic behaviour was related to him being scared (as we see in the and frustrated at the injustice he received at the hands of both the Jin Sect and his family (for example, this piece of shino meta)

Finally, it’s a good time to remember that even MXY’s sacrifice was not a decision he made on his own: he was once again the victim of a mastermind with much more power and influence than he could ever dream to have. After all, the novel takes pain to explain to us that NHS’s schemes for revenge depended on MXY sacrificing himself (passage under the cut because this post is getting long!)

“Nie-zongzhu,” Wei Wuxian asked again. “I heard that you often travel between the Gusu Lan sect and the Lanling Jin sect, am I right?”

“That’s right.”

“Then did you really not recognize Mo Xuanyu?”

“Ah?” Nie Huaisang’s face twitched slightly. 

“I remember that the first time I met you after my soul had been offered into his body, you acted as if you did not recognize me, and even asked Hanguang-jun who I was. Mo Xuanyu was then entangled anyhow with Jin Guangyao during that time* and was able to access even his secret collections, and you often went to find Jin-zongzhu to complain. Even if you and Mo Xuanyu were not familiar with each other, did you really not see him before at all?”

Nie Huaisang scratched his head, saying, “Wei-xiong, Jinlintai is so huge, I can’t possibly recognize everyone, even if I’ve seen them, I can’t remember. Moreover…” 

Looking rather awkward, he continued, “You know about Mo Xuanyu’s identity back then, it’s slightly…...the Lanling Jin sect had tried their best to hide it, so it wouldn’t have been surprising if I had never met him before. Even Xichen-ge may not have met him before.”

“Oh, that’s true. Zewu-jun did not know who Mo Xuanyu was either.”

“Right! And what I don’t understand is, even if I had seen Mo Xuanyu before, why would I pretend not to recognize him? Was there such a need?”

Wei Wuxian laughed and replied, “Nothing much, I just thought it strange and was casually asking. 

However, he thought, He was simply trying to see whether the ‘Mo Xuanyu’ he met was the real one.

For someone who was said to have been cowardly and weak, where would have Mo Xuanyu gotten the courage to sacrifice himself and offer his soul?

And as for Chifeng-zun’s left hand, why was it discarded? It could not be that Jin Guangyao would accidentally lose it.

Moreover, why was it that it happened to appear right at the Mo family residence, just when Wei Wuxian had been reincarnated, but not somewhere else? 

If Chifeng-zun’s body had been buried by the QingheNie sect, would Nie Huaisang, who had always respected his older brother, not notice that his body had disappeared all these years?

Wei Wuxian was inclined to believe an alternative situation. 

[...]

As such, [NHS] thought of another person; Mo Xuanyu, who had just been kicked out of the Golden Pavilion. 

Perhaps in order to let Mo Xuanyu listen to him, Nie Huaisang had already spoken to him before and heard from an upset and anguished Mo Xuanyu that he had seen one of Jin Guangyao’s scrolls of forbidden spells recording a certain ancient demonic spell. He then took advantage of the Mo Xuanyu, who was then humiliated and bullied by his clan, to persuade him to perform the spell as revenge**. 

And which fierce corpse would he summon?

Naturally, he would summon the Yiling Patriarch.

Unable to bear the days of humiliation any longer, Mo Xuanyu finally drew the array, and Nie Huaisang also took the chance to throw out the hot potato that was burning his hand: ChiFeng-Zun’s left arm.

From there on, his plan had begun and he no longer had to spend his own time and energy to find Nie Mingjue’s remaining body, leaving the dangerous and troublesome job to Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji. All he had to do was watch their actions closely. [Chapter 109]

*I changed the translation here, which originally said that “Mo Xuanyu was harassing Jin Guangyao” since I find (at least with my limited linguistic skills lmao) that the original is much more ambivalent. The clause is  莫玄羽当年好歹也纠缠过金光瑶, and the use of  好歹 signals to me toward ambivalence, which is further compounded by the fact that the verb  纠缠 does not necessarily translate to harassment. So I doubt that the original intent was to suggest that WWX was saying to NHS: shouldn’t you have known the dude who was harassing JGY? Anyone who knows Chinese more than I do is free to come and correct me if I am completely wrong in my assessment.

**Okay I changed the translation here again because the translation I was working with made it seem as if MXY was motivated by shame? but the original Chinese says  他便怂恿当时饱受族人欺辱的莫玄羽 which to me clearly points to his treatment by the Mo family/clan and to the fact that it was something being done unto him, not a state of mind he had. 

[indiavolojones]

Diavolo eats a pomegranate while Lucifer works. Lucifer doesn’t realize that the plate of pomegranate seeds that’s just been steadily growing is, in fact, for him. 

alternate summary: serving/sharing fruit with another is one of the most tender shows of love in the world and i am a soft, gentle soul that just wants canon-compliant-ish domesticity somewhere in the 1800s?? idk, they’ve known each other a damn long time. u_u 

2.2kish words, G, dia/luci, #no warnings apply except for like, idk, a sizzle of diavolo thirst on lu’s part. we can angst later, y’all

Special thanks 2 @canonlucidia for being 1) my rock and 2) my resident lucifer expert that wrote the report line and lastly 3) just being so, so good with lore and patient with me when cv brain go wuh??? 

-

A memory, a snapshot in their thousands of years spent at each other’s sides, the scene burned into his mind. 

Not all their moments are stretched to the extremes, interactions eternally caught in fire and brimstone. Some of them rest here, in a gentle domesticity that Lucifer is hesitant – and rightly so – to acknowledge. 

Here, with the two of them alone in Lucifer’s office, is a tentative, trembling contentment that Lucifer has yet to fully take apart in his mind. 

Lucifer sits at the desk with almost painfully perfect posture, as lamented by Diavolo, several sheets of parchment paper drying in front of him. A small white plate with intricate gold designs burned into the glaze rests nearby. Diavolo pulls out a blade from thin air, cutting it into a ripe pomegranate with the practiced efficiency of someone who grew up with the trees keeping him company.

“I will not be re-writing these reports if you make a mess,” Lucifer says apropos of anything Diavolo might do, on purpose or otherwise. 

The admonishment in his voice half-hearted at best, even as he warily eyes Diavolo slicing the fruit open. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Diavolo quips, returning a cheeky grin, slouched over the empty side of Lucifer’s spacious desk as he cracks open the pomegranate into fours. 

Diavolo opted for his human form today, which is a laughable concept to Lucifer in itself. Diavolo’s aura can barely be contained by him in his demon form, but to see his essence stifled into a mortal’s appearance… Diavolo’s human teeth are always a little too sharp at first glance or in one’s peripherals. His gold eyes are too molten to match any human shade. 

Pair it with Diavolo’s inability to sit on anything without it becoming a throne – sprawling with languid, regal grace as natural as breathing, much to Lucifer’s annoyance – and discretion is a difficult request. 

Lucifer has called him out on his slipping control of the glamours before, especially in the instances where they find themselves working in the Human Realm, the risk of detection a very real threat. Not that many princes are discrete, but Lucifer supposes that if he expected someone to spill out past the seams, it would be Diavolo, who has always been larger than life in both personality and power. 

Despite a grandiose description, Diavolo’s attire does not reflect his status. His outfit is more fitting for a common human rather than the next ruler of Hell. 

The other is dressed in indecently tight trousers and a loose, finely-woven off-white tunic that dips low on his sculpted chest. Cording at the hem of the shirt drapes over his exposed skin, and Lucifer offhandedly wonders why they even bother getting Diavolo fitted for garments if he’s just going to wear things too loose, too tight, or forego most clothes altogether. 

In the past, Lucifer might have asked why are you here? or don’t you have your own work to do? All such inquiries have been shut down with a colorful multitude of responses, displaying the future king’s creativity. 

Some honorable mentions being:

Diavolo’s wild claim that Barbatos was staging a coup, and clearly, Lucifer was the only one who can fight off someone with control over time. Lucifer had asked when Barbatos was hosting the next recruitment session, which led to a troublesome, if not amusing, outburst from Diavolo.

A somehow unionized group of suitors threatened to storm down the palace gates for his hand in marriage. Diavolo was merely hiding in the safest place, for once they believed he was not home, they would give up and leave! 

"A curse, Lucifer. It was a curse!" If more than two pairs of eyes were to witness Diavolo, he would surely burst into flames. That's why he tried to hide behind the door when Barbatos came to collect him!

Nowadays, when Lucifer can’t kick Diavolo out of his study/Barbatos is off running the household and can’t drag him away, he allows himself to lean into giving Diavolo a hard time – nothing unbecoming of their stations, nothing disrespectful – but enough to give Lucifer quiet vindication. 

It serves him right, for all the grievances he causes Lucifer on a daily basis. 

(Levi calls it teasing, but Levi has not left his quarters since the last major war killed one of his favorite authors before a series was finished, so what does Levi know of social interaction?) 

“If you’re in need of something to do, Barbatos and I found a few errors in your last few missives…” Lucifer begins. 

Diavolo, surprisingly, doesn’t jump to the bait.  

There are no witty remarks that come from the future king’s lips, only the lazy upward curl of a smile and a contented hum in return. 

Unused to the lack of a response from the other, Lucifer glances down at the small plate, Diavolo's cultivated pile of seeds gathered in the shallow puddle of juice.

Another pomegranate seed plinks onto the plate, and Lucifer watches through his peripherals as it topples the delicate balance of the seeds already there. 

He narrows his eyes at it briefly, as if it holds the answers to his obvious questions, but says nothing. Diavolo works at a steady pace, humming quietly under his breath as his nimble fingers pluck seeds from the fruit. 

For a while, they go on like that. 

Diavolo alternates between quietly munching on seeds and adding to his growing plate. Lucifer scribbles away at the parchment, his clean script much more legible than Diavolo’s own. 

Diavolo deserves an award, Lucifer thinks, for the longest amount of time spent not getting into trouble in Lucifer’s recent memory. Perhaps he should be more suspicious of the other’s uncharacteristically quiet nature, but Diavolo looks at ease with his menial task.

Diavolo’s tune continues, a soothing, low cadence to his voice offsetting the relative quiet of Lucifer’s quill scratching at the parchment. It’s a waltz, syrupy sweet and with a dreamlike quality as Diavolo’s humming carries the notes into creation. 

It casts a spell with charisma alone, and Lucifer doesn’t notice when his hand stills, quill hovering over the page as he tries to recognize the tune. A smile twists the prince’s lips, his lips stained darker with the sweet purple nectar.

Diavolo doesn’t hesitate in his motions, only glancing up at Lucifer through his lashes. Lucifer’s breath involuntarily catches in his throat.

Lucifer does not think about how Diavolo’s fingertips are stained as well, stained deeper than the curve of his lush lower lip. Does not think about the juice dripping down his tanned skin, drying sticky on his wrists. It is in the middle of these not-thoughts, their gazes catching in passing, that Diavolo speaks.

“20%.” 

“What?” Lucifer startles, despite himself, brows cinching with narrowed eyes. Diavolo reaches down with one long, purple-dyed finger to point at the line where Lucifer’s quill has stopped. The smile only grows, Diavolo tilting his head to the side as he reads the line off of Lucifer’s report.

“‘The sixth circle has under reported their amaranth yield again this quarter, their numbers being off by roughly,” He pauses for dramatic effect, which Lucifer finds wholly unnecessary considering this is a report, not a performance, ”20%.’”

Diavolo purses his lips, before it turns into a huffed laugh, “It’s probably because they pay tithe to Beelzebub. You should talk to him about that.” 

His eyes and hands go back to the fruit in front of him. Lucifer does not admit that the next part of his report was about to mention that it is likely due to his hungriest brother.

Saved from having to formulate a response, there’s a knock at the door, and Barbatos’ muffled voice on the other side calls, “Lucifer? Have you seen Prince Diavolo?” 

Diavolo’s posture immediately jerks up, and then his shoulders curl in on himself, like a child that knows he’s been caught. Barbatos is, most definitely, here for Diavolo. 

Lucifer is absolutely not relieved at the distraction. He levels Diavolo with a singular stare that somehow says I’m not covering for you, and nearly rolls his eyes when Diavolo returns a pained look that begs please?

A strange, out of place idea has Lucifer wanting to concede to Diavolo’s whims, to pretend that no one is there. Ridiculous. As they sit in the silence, there’s a moment where Diavolo’s eyes light up, as if thinking that Lucifer might actually help him out –

“He’s in here,” Lucifer says, because of course he is. All three of them know there’s no way that he wouldn’t be, and Diavolo deflates. 

It’s clear from the slight, upwards quirk of Barbatos’ lips that he knows Lucifer’s hesitation. Lucifer bristles at the thought, at Barbatos’ ability to always see more than is shown. 

Barbatos does not startle easily – in fact, Lucifer believes he can recall maybe a handful of times that the other has reacted with little more than resigned acceptance or rueful amusement. 

It wounds his pride, in a sense, to have Barbatos walk in on a scene like this (like what? Diavolo slowly working at Lucifer’s carefully constructed walls, trying to carve a contented little spot in Lucifer’s life? Yes. Lucifer is aware.) and have his reaction be anything less than shocked. Appalled? 

Perhaps aghast, that Lucifer too has fallen to the whims of his lord. 

Unless Barbatos thought that Lucifer would cave from the beginning, Lucifer realizes, and it sours his expression in the slightest. 

“Barbatos!” Diavolo grins, still slouched over the edge of the desk like it pains him to have good posture. 

“I have been looking for you, my lord,” Barbatos says, his voice as even and polite as ever. 

“I’ve been taking a break!” 

“It’s been four hours since you said you would be right back, sir. I thought I would help you find your way, since you seem to be having some trouble.”  

Diavolo, a devil of almost immeasurable power and status, has the gall to look sheepish in front of his butler and aide. He glances big, pleading eyes at Lucifer as if asking for help again, and Lucifer cocks one brow, saying nothing. 

A beat of silence passes, before Diavolo suddenly exhales loudly, tossing his hands (one of which is holding a knife, and the other a pomegranate, and juice splashes on the desk alarmingly close to his nearly-finished report) into the air. 

“Okay, okay! I’m coming,” Diavolo concedes, still brimming with amusement as he easily disposes of the empty pomegranate husk with his magic. Pulling a handkerchief from his pocket, he wipes the remnants of sticky juice off the blade and his fingers, staining the pristine white purple. 

“Let’s stop by the kitchens on the way there, Barbatos. Fruit has only made me realize how famished I truly am!” Diavolo says, placing the handkerchief down and stretching his arms up as he stands. 

“I can bring something to your office, my lord.” Barbatos shoots down the attempt at escape, and Diavolo tsks under his breath. 

“You’re too smart, Barbatos,” Diavolo says, walking towards his butler and patting one hand on the other’s shoulders, “You know all my tricks by now.” He nods sagely as they walk to the exit of the room. Barbatos gives a soft sigh. 

“We both know that’s not true, my lord.” 

Lucifer watches, unafraid to admit to himself that he finds some amusement in Diavolo’s plight, before he realizes the mess that Diavolo has left behind. 

“Your – ” Mess? Pile of fruit seeds? Penchant for completely derailing Lucifer’s productivity? Whatever Lucifer had intended to say is cut off by a dismissive wave of Diavolo’s hand and a cheerful slant of a smile on the other’s face. 

“Those are for you!” Diavolo laughs, and Lucifer doesn’t have the opportunity to get a response in before Diavolo whirls into the hallway, Barbatos shutting the door after him with a soft click. 

Lucifer sits in silence, listening to the muffled, familiar chatter between the two, fading as they travel further from the door. He tells himself that this is to make sure that Diavolo has truly left, not for any other frivolous, flowery reasons that his brothers might claim, were they to know of his lingering gaze on the plate, the stained handkerchief Diavolo left behind. 

The plate of pomegranate seeds rests in the corner of his desk, still untouched.

Lucifer ignores it until the candles in the room burn dangerously low, the only indication of time passing thanks to the endless twilight of the Devildom. When he finally decides to stop, he rolls his neck to alleviate the stiffness, eyes fluttering shut at the tension. 

When they open again, his gaze lands once more on the plate. 

This time, it stays. 

Alone in the privacy of his office, Lucifer props an elbow unceremoniously on the table. He brings his hand to his chin, gloved fingers tapping at his lips. More silence passes, a decision is made. Lucifer tugs off the glove of his right hand.

For him, Diavolo had said. 

Lucifer isn’t particularly fond of pomegranates. 

The flavor isn’t anything amazing to him, and they’re much too messy, but there’s a strange, perverse pleasure beginning to blossom inside him at the fresh memory of Diavolo devoting his time to a task solely for Lucifer, understanding coloring where there was once muted shades of gray.  

Kings are servants to their kingdoms, but there’s an undeniable intimacy in the act of servitude for one. 

It makes the initial burst of flavor on his tongue all the more sweet. 

[milknette]

day 31 - dealer’s choice (christmas)

i just wanna keep on waiting, underneath the mistletoe.

tumblr month: @auyeahaugust

links: ao3 | ff.net

LADYBUG is the only one he's excited to see again.

It's understandable though, since he hadn't wanted to go to the Christmas party in the first place. As his father was busy planning for his trip abroad, it had fallen upon Adrien to spend time and speak with adults who really only cared about him because of his family's wealth and stature.

They're all sickly-sweet and overly-kind to him, though it's intensely clear that if he were anything other than an Agreste, they'd never even give him the time of day.

(It's exhausting to spend time with people who don't even really see you, after all.)

The last straw, however, is when he speaks with a particularly snooty lady who corners him to talk about fashion. The conversation is halfway decent, until she brings up the feathered hat in Gabriel Agreste's newest collection— one she says is, verbatim, "the worst thing she's ever seen featured in a runway," and that "it was clear a high schooler was the one who made it."

Adrien surprises both himself and the lady when he answers back.

"Actually," he starts. "That hat is an inspired and unique work that even my father was in awe of. She may only be a high schooler, but her sense of fashion and style has grown so far past that." Adrien looks at his conversational partner's outfit, then pauses. "And that's one thing about her that… not everyone can say about themselves."

The woman splutters, mutters a few words about disrespect and how his father will hear about this, as she almost stomps away from him.

It's weird that he doesn't feel that bad about it.

"You're going to get in so much trouble for that," someone suddenly speaks up, hands haughtily folded in front of her chest. Beside her is another girl, who stands much more calmly but holds the same level of intimidation.

"That was in poor character for you Adrien," she steps in, eyes still the slightest bit wider from surprise. "I had never expected such behavior to come from you," she continues, then slightly tilts her head to her partner. "I mean, I'd expect it from Chloé, but I thought you'd be able to control yourself better."

Ignoring the indignant 'hey!' from the blonde, Kagami looks at him in worry. "What did she say to you?"

"Just… she said something wrong," he finally replies. "And I corrected her."

"We're not here to correct people, Adrikins," Chloé points out. "We're here to listen and agree and make sure they still want to work with our parents."

Adrien sighs. She's right.

"It's not too late to apologize," Kagami says. "We cannot be any less than the perfect children anyone expects of us."

A brief silence encompasses the three, as the weight of the words crush upon them. It isn't easy being in their position; to always have to watch their behavior, growing up quickly in the elite circles of high society. It's strict and limiting, and Adrien can't imagine not having Chat Noir to let him freely express and be his true self.

He misses staying inside the suit more than he does outside of it.

Or maybe he just misses the girl he sees when he's in the feline's costume.

He knows what she'd do if she were in his position.

"I stand by what I said," Adrien finally says, somewhat determined. "She said something bad about a friend, and I'm not sorry for protecting her." He pauses, then adds as an afterthought: "It's what she would do."

Kagami looks shocked, but nods slowly. "An honorable choice."

"You're going to regret it," Chloé only says, though he can see the hint of a smile on her face. "But I think your superhero crush would be proud of you for doing it."

As if perfectly on cue, an all-too-familiar figure steps through the entrances of the hallway.

Dressed in her token red suit and mask, Ladybug comes in, an awkward (but bright) smile on her face.

She looks absolutely beautiful tonight.

(But she always looks beautiful to him— so nothing's really new.)

"Are you a witch or something?" Kagami whispers under her breath. "Your timing is impeccable."

"I have my Ladybug radar on at all times."

"What about your Ryuuko radar?"

Chloé scoffs, then smiles softly. "Is that even a question?"

At that, the two sneak off, likely to some empty hallway to have time for themselves.

Adrien doesn't mind, watching with awe as Ladybug kindly greets all the guests at the party.

(He thanks the lucky stars that Ladybug had accepted Mayor Bourgeois' invitation, even if she only plans on stopping by briefly.)

They gravitate toward each other, as Adrien is the first to spark conversation.

"It's great you're here Ladybug," he says, almost flustered. "I'm a great fan of yours."

"I'm a great fan of yours too— I mean, you're a model! Right? I've seen you on billboards and stuff… you know, while I'm going around and saving Paris!"

The fact that Ladybug, of all people, is a fan of his civilian self brings Adrien a rush of joy that he never thought possible.

"You have no idea how much you being a fan of mine means to me."

"Believe me, I feel the same way."

They smile at each other, and enter into pleasant conversation.

She's definitely Adrien's favorite conversational partner by far.

They spend a good hour or so simply talking to each other (much to the envy of the other guests), and Adrien feels as if he's on cloud nine.

It's only when they walk to the beverage table that they are interrupted, as Ladybug accidentally bumps into a vase of greenery, consequently getting some of it in her hair.

Adrien leans in to help her, only belatedly noticing how closely they're standing together as whispers seem to surround the two of them.

Then:

"Mistletoe!" Someone suddenly chants, pointing enthusiastically at the two of them.

The rest of the crowd joins in, as Ladybug panickedly waves her hands to say 'no'— though it only serves to intensify the situation. He picks at the red berry upon her head, then smiles softly.

"May I, milady?"

She looks at him with wide-eyed surprise, then nods slowly.

Her eyes close, visibly nervous.

And Adrien presses a kiss to her forehead, before picking out the plant in her hair.

He shows it to the rest of the guests, then smiles. "This is actually holly, not mistletoe." Adrien looks almost mischievous, as they dissipate in disappointment.

"Wait… if you knew it was mistletoe, then why did you kiss me?"

He shrugs, the teasing grin still on his face.

"Maybe I just wanted to."

.

.

ADRIEN comes to pick her up before they go to school.

It's become a kind of strange tradition between them, for him to stop by the bakery every morning and walk with her to Françoise-Dupont. Ever since he was permitted to go to classes on his own— a freedom long overdue, really— he explains that he's been making the most of it as much as he can.

Her parents don't really mind, after all.

In fact, they think Adrien's a good kid, and it helps that someone else is around to make sure their daughter gets to school on time. Sabine and Tom also think that the two of them are pretty cute together, but decide to keep that little factoid to themselves.

Marinette's late, as per usual, stumbling down into the shop as she's greeted by the sight of her boy friend— emphasis on the space— comfortably leaning upon the counter, talking animatedly with his parents about some random topic about the happenings of the previous day.

(Is it strange that she's already getting used to that sight?)

"Marinette!" He notices her first, brightening up as she awkwardly waves at him. He's snuggly wrapped up in a warm jacket and hat, holding a to-go cup of hot chocolate in his hands.

"Morning, Adrien," she says, before quickly planting a kiss to her parents' cheeks. "Mom, dad."

"What? No kiss for Adrien here?"

Marinette splutters, to the amusement of his family— and even Adrien, who quickly coughs into his hand to hide the laughter that threatens to escape his lips.

She can't even say anything, with Adrien finally taking pity on her and tapping on the chair beside him, gesturing for her to take a seat.

"I was just talking with your parents," he starts. "About your plans for the holidays."

"Yes," her mom chimes in, smiling brightly as she leans onto her father. "You know, poor Adrien here doesn't have any plans for Christmas Eve? Mr. Agreste is only coming back from New York on Christmas Day, and I can't imagine how lonely it's going to be…," she side-eyes her husband, then gently nudges him at his blissfully unaware expression.

"Ah, right!" He coughs, then speaks in an almost overly-dramatic way: "How sad for Adrien, if only there was something we could do for him… if only he had somewhere to spend the day…"

Both of Marinette's parents eye her with sad eyes, as she only rubs tiredly at her forehead.

Why are her parents like this?

She takes a side glance to see Adrien, who has a somewhat soft smile on his face. (If anything, he even looks hopeful that she'll say yes.

Which is strange, considering that he can probably spend his Christmas anywhere he so wanted— from all the most lavish Christmas parties and celebrations… maybe she just doesn't understand the rich.

And it's not like she wants to tell him no, either.)

"Are you okay with this?" Marinette finally decides to ask, turning to face him directly.

After years of being friends and spending time together, she's glad to see that her tendency to stutter and stammer (and ultimately fail as a human being) around him has lessened by quite a bit.

But as he sits only a few meters away from her, close enough for her to almost count how many eyelashes he has, she frankly becomes reminded of how little it lessened.

And how her crush on him has only grown exponentially since they first met.

He smiles at her, and she has to physically force down the blush threatening to take over her face.

"Of course I am," he says honestly, maintaining eye contact with her as he leans the slightest bit closer. Marinette can't look away. "There's no place I'd rather be."

She wants to stay in the moment— really, she does— but her parents watching from beside her with the hugest smiles she's ever seen is more than enough to sever the mood.

Coughing awkwardly, she steps back and slings her bag over her shoulder. "That sounds great, then!" She finally says, "Christmas with Adrien Agreste, no big deal, nope! I'd love that— I mean, not that I love you but…," she pauses, then sighs in resignation. "Just. We'd love to have you there."

He laughs lightly, then stands up as well, holding the cup with one hand. He bows lightly to her parents. "It's always nice to talk to you, Mr. and Mrs. Dupain-Cheng."

"Please, just call us mom and dad."

They wink, and Marinette decides against turning back so she doesn't have to see their faces. Instead, she grabs Adrien's hand and pulls him forward.

"Let's go," she says, only belatedly realizing that ohmygod they're holding hands and they fit so perfectly together do all fingers intertwine and meld this amazingly—?

They're one foot out the door, when her parents speak up:

"Ahem, Marinette," her mother says, forcing her to turn back.

"What?"

She only smiles, before gesturing for her to look up.

Oh, you've  got  to be kidding me.

At her exhausted expression, Adrien looks at where she's staring:

Consequently noticing the mistletoe hanging above the bakery door.

"Really?"

Her parents look excited.

"I'm not going to—"

Marinette turns to Adrien, fully expecting him to decline as well: until she sees his awkward (though almost… excited?) smile.

His fingers tighten their grip around her own, as he looks down at their intertwined hands.

"It's just a harmless tradition," he says quietly, some sound of amusement resounding from his tone. "A little holiday fun?"

She can't speak.

Is he serious?

He leans closer, and she closes her eyes in anticipation.

Then she feels the unmistakable touch of someone's warm lips.

Upon her hand.

Marinette's eyes flutter open, in time for her to see him press a kiss to her knuckles.

"What?" He asks, almost playful. "Did you expect anything else?"

She can't even speak.

(And thankfully doesn't notice the stifled laughter from behind the counter. Betrayal.)

"Come on, we're going to be late!"

He tugs her forward, as they disappear outside the bakery.

Marinette doesn't realize that Adrien's still holding her hand until they arrive at François-Dupont.

.

.

MARINETTE waits for him outside the balcony.

It's eleven-fifty in the evening as the snow starts to pile up, leaving Marinette to wish she'd put on more layers than her pair of pajamas and a cardigan around her small frame. Her nose is getting red from the cold, but she doesn't quite mind it as much as it should.

Because when she thinks about him, all Marinette can really feel is warmth.

Blonde hair, bright green eyes, and a smile that can bring even the sun to shame…

She's only distracted from her thoughts as a familiar suit of black starts making its way toward her.

He arrives almost clumsily at her balcony, holding a bright-red box in his hands as he furtively tries to hide it from her attention.

(It doesn't work.)

"Chat," she only says, then rolls her eyes. "You're late."

The first thing he does is bow down to her.

"Yes, and I'm so sorry, but I had some issues at home and—"

"Never mind that," she only says instead. "Do you have it?"

He smiles. "Of course I do," he starts, jokingly saluting at her. "Your local delivery man, at your service."

Marinette brightens up almost immediately as the words escape his lips.

"And it's really from him?" She asks, slowly taking the box into her hands.

It's quite small, fitting the palm of her hand, but Marinette knows that whatever's inside— the worth is immeasurable.

She hugs it close to her chest. "I can't believe he got me a Christmas present."

Chat Noir smiles at how excited the girl seems to be. "I— I know he's just really sorry that he couldn't give it to you himself."

"It's fine," Marinette only responds, the soft smile still on her face. "I know that he really wanted to go, and that's more than enough for me."

She recalls how apologetic Adrien had sounded over the phone, after telling her that he couldn't spend Christmas Eve with her family. (If anything, Marinette thought that he sounded more upset than she did about it—

Which is saying a lot, considering that she'd been looking forward to it as soon as he said he'd go.)

She tinkers with the box for a few more moments, then looks up at the superhero.

"Did he tell you what was inside?"

He ponders her question a bit longer than he should have. "Technically, no," he says, then pauses. "But I do know what it is."

"How do you know?!"

Chat Noir smiles lithely. "Let's just say that Adrien and I are similar in a lot of ways."

Marinette has to stop herself from snorting. "Please," she laughs lightly. "The two of you couldn't be any more worlds apart."

"... and what do you mean by that?"

"Adrien's the perfect type," she starts, then stops as she notices the superhero's almost hurt expression.

"So I'm not?"

"Nope," Marinette says easily. "But that's what I admire about you. You're imperfect and messy and chaotic, but you love and embrace your flaws, and even my own. It's so easy to be around you."

"Then Adrien is…?"

"He's kind," Marinette says carefully. "He's the kind of boy everyone dreams of, me included. But I always wished he'd drop his perfect interior in front of me and show his true self."

"The flawed self?"

"Yes. Because I'm sure I'd still love him just as much."

She smiles absentmindedly, then carefully starts to open the box.

Inside is a locket; gold, with a simple ladybug token hanging upon the chain.

Marinette belatedly notices the simple paper put inside the box:

To our Everyday Ladybug—

She turns the paper around.

And my ladybug.

Marinette isn't even given a moment to process the information as she looks away from the box, to notice none other than the boy in question standing before her.

Plagg floats next to him, a cautious expression on his face.

"Adrien, I— you— wait…" He tries to make calming gestures with his hand, giving her time to understand what's happening. "This can't be real…? You— are you really… and Plagg… wait, I thought I wasn't supposed to know your true identity…"

He looks absolutely nervous, and can't even get the words out.

Plagg speaks in his place:

"Sorry for the surprise, kid, but Tikki and I talked it over. With you being the guardian and all, it was only a matter of time before you two find out," then he sighs tiredly. "Adrien found out about your true identity by accident. And after that, he's been insistent on being the one to do the reveal."

"I— but— you— I'm— this is—"

The sudden buzz of Marinette's phone informs them that it's midnight.

"Merry Christmas, Marinette," Adrien finally says, voice soft as he takes her hands. "I love you."

He leans closer to her, as she suddenly stops him.

"Wait— but a kiss— it's too soon, and so out of nowhere…"

Adrien pauses thoughtfully, then smiles; almost mischievous.

He retrieves a pen from his pocket, then takes the box from her hands:

The word 'our everyday ladybug' is crossed out, as a simple word proudly displays itself in black, bold, lettering.

He holds it above their heads.

MISTLETOE.

"Is this enough of a good reason?"

Marinette can't stop herself from laughing. "You couldn't even draw it?"

"I'm not the artist," he only says. "That's your job."

"Then what's yours?"

"I provide the quality humor and flirting, I think."

She has to stop herself from rolling her eyes.

"Fine then," Marinette starts, leaning close to him before…

Pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"The cheek?!"

"You didn't even get real mistletoe. So you don't get the real thing, either."

He hmphs, before his eyes suddenly twinkle. "But if I get real mistletoe, then I'll get a real kiss?"

"As long as it's still Christmas, then sure."

"Great," he grins. "Twenty-four hours then."

.

.

CHAT NOIR looks at her for confirmation.

The mistletoe stands proudly above the two of them as the purified akuma flies away into the night, easily forgotten by the rest of the Parisians.

All they care about— and all he cares about is the girl held in his embrace, as she looks at him with eyes that he can't at all decipher.

(Or maybe he can: but it's too terrifying to think of what things could be if he were wrong.)

From the background, Alya holds her phone as the scene is livestreamed to all the families and friends celebrating their Christmas together.

He leans in close to her, hesitant, as if asking a question.

The outsiders can't make it out, but he whispers in her ear:

"That's real mistletoe," he points out. Then slowly: "Are you sure you're ready for this?"

Ladybug doesn't say yes.

She doesn't say no, either.

Instead, she only smiles, leans forward:

Then kisses him.

Alya drops her phone as she throws her fist in the air, and the quiet chill of the city is instantaneously broken with a series of loud celebratory cheers and cries for celebration.

Everyone calls it one of the greatest Christmas miracles of all time—

And neither Ladybug nor Chat Noir can correct them.

[tobin-heaths]

Don’t touch her (NSFW)

request: Would it be alright to request a Krashlyn imagine? Where they have a small bean sweetheart of a gf who they are very protective over. Maybe during a game someone says something incredibly disrespectful about her and Krashlyn which upsets/enrages R to the point of tears. She end up being red carded after defending herself and punching the other player. Her gfs comfort her after almost beating the ref and player. Maybe comfort sex? 

pairing: Ashlyn Harris/Ali Krieger x Reader

words: 2388

"How are you feeling, babe? Ready to rock the second half and whoop their asses?" Ashlyn asked, wrapping an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into her side.

Ali was walking behind you laughing at how cute you both were.

"With you saving our asses in goal? For sure! I'm ready to kick some ass!" You replied and giggled.

The three of you were walking back onto the pitch to prepare for the second half against North Carolina. Thanks to your late goal in the first half Orlando lead with a score of 2:1.

Ash's hand went down to slap your ass playfully but you grabbed her arm before she could reach it and pushed it away.

"Ash, what the hell? There's cameras!" You whisper hissed.

"What? Can't I appreciate my girlfriend?" She laughed shrugging her shoulders.

"I swear you're a child sometimes." You groaned.

"Y/N's not wrong," Ali said joining the both of you. "Ash, don't distract her." She winked at you.

You wished them good luck before jogging over to your spot getting into position. On your way there you passed Jaelene Hinkle.

"You should be ashamed of yourself, dyke." She mumbled but you clearly heard her.

Stopping in your tracks you whirled around faster than the wind and faced her.

"What did you just say?" You mockingly held your hand behind your ear.

"You heard me, dyke. Shame on you for bringing your sick romance onto the field in front of all those kids." She looked at you with disgust. Oh shoot, it's only mutual.

Anger rose in you upon hearing her homophobic words.

You pressed your forehead against hers even though you felt the urge to disinfect that spot and stepped forward while she walked back.

"Watch your mouth, Hinkle. One more word from you, I swear to god." You clenched your jaw so hard it started to hurt.

"Gurl, please. You're all talk and no bite. Same goes to this chaos you call a team. Orlando is barely holding itself in the league and I now know exactly why." You stared at her in disbelief.

"Don't you dare bring up the team, you homophobic fuck." Narrowing your eyes your patience was running thin.

You had never been in a situation like this before. No one had ever negatively brought up the relationship you had with Ashlyn and Ali.

"One isn't enough for you, huh? Tell me, are they as disappointing in the bed as they are on the field? Lord, forgive me for even asking such thing." She shuddered.

All you saw was red as your body lunged forward punching her square in the face. Yelling out in pain she dropped to the ground.

"What the– Are you crazy?" Quickly standing up she slapped you in the face.

The scene escalated quickly. The ref came running full speed and so did both teams, not to mention the crowd who was either dead silent watching in shock, yelling, confused or trying to boo Carolina.

Tears gathered in your eyes, you had never felt so disgusted and betrayed before. To share a game with someone as homophobic as her made you wonder why a club would ever want to sign her.

The ref waisted no time raising the red card above her head pointing towards the exit.

"What?" Your jaw dropped to the floor as all color drained from your face. The card felt like another slap to the face.

The stadium protested and booed. So did half your team with Marta and Alex in the front.

Ashlyn ran past you and went face to face with Hinkle shoving her away from you. "Bitch! Don't you ever lay a finger on her again or I'll make sure to break it!" The blonde goalkeeper was more than ready to throw hands, especially when it was you that has been threatened.

Alex had to pull an outraged Ashlyn away before the ref would notice and card her too.

"What is this? Why was she carded but Hinkle doesn't get anything? She literally hit her too!" Ali was furiously arguing with the ref pointing between you and an equally angry Hinkle.

"Y/N!" Turning to your left you saw Ash hurrying over to you. "Babe, are you okay?" She asked worriedly, taking your face into her gloved hands.

"I swear to god, if she hurt you in any way I'll rip her to shreds!" She gently inspected your face and sighed upon seeing your slightly red cheek.

"I'm just a little shook. I don't care about the things she said about me but about you guys? She crossed a line and got no card for it?"

"What! What did she say?" Ash asked clenching her hands to fists.

"Called me a dyke and insulted our relationship with some disrespectful comments." Meanwhile the medics checked Hinkle for any kind of injury.

Ali threw her hands up in the air as the ref now pointed a yellow card at her, obviously fed up with her constant arguing.

"She did what?" Alex couldn't believe her ears, her eyes widening in disbelief.

Ashlyn was furious now, joining Ali's side and giving the ref a piece of her mind. You had never seen such a mess, it scared you to be honest.

Hinkle appeared to be fine enough to continue the game, something that couldn't be said for you. You decided enough was enough and left the pitch in frustration and sadness.

You had to sit and wait for at least another 50 minutes all alone in the locker room, drowning in your thoughts and frustration.

Once the game was finished and all the girls started coming back into the locker room you finally got your chance to talk to the staff and coach, explaining your side of the story.

The red card wasn't even on your mind anymore, if that's what you get for fighting homophobes then so be it.

"Ready to leave, baby?" Ali came over and sat down next to you, her fingers playing with a strand of your hair.

"Yeah, please." You mumbled and pulled her up with you. Your eyes searched for Ash who seemed to have disappeared.

"Where's Ash?" You asked in confusion.

"She went ahead, don't worry." Ali laughed and kissed the top of your head. Together you finally walked out of the stadium and over to the car.

"My my, if it isn't the world's most beautiful girls and they're all mine." Ash smirked leaning against the hood of her car, sunglasses on her face.

"She's the prettiest though." You giggled and jumped out of Ali's arms as she poked your sides.

Opening the door you climbed onto the backseat and fastened the seatbelt, dreading the talk that was coming now.

"Alright. What happened on that field?" Starting the car Ash turned the radio off and drove away.

"Do we really need to?" You sighed.

"Yes. This is important, honey. We're just trying to understand." Ali spoke, watching you in the rearview mirror.

"Fine." You rolled your eyes. "She called me a dyke. She insulted the team and asked if you're as disappointing in the bed as you are on the field. That's it. She can insult me all she wants but she crossed a line dragging you guys into it." You leaned against the window and watched the streets.

You heard both of them gasping.

"We all know that she's homophobic, we've had issues with her before. That certainly wasn't the first time. It's just how she is, she ain't a good person. It's a shame that she had to target you of all people and not face any consequences." Ash's grip tightened around the wheel.

"You're better than her on so many levels, baby. You managed to score and not her. She can barely manage to defend a ball." Ali turned around in her seat and smiled at you.

"I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't have punched her, it was my anger taking over." You sighed.

"No way, that was awesome." Ash smirked and Ali slapped her thigh. "Hey, what– I'm only speaking the truth," She laughed but grew serious again.

"If she's smart she'll stay as far away from me as possible next time. Lucky bitch got away without me breaking her face for laying her filthy hands on you." You had to smile at that, you loved when they got possessive or overprotective.

It didn't take long for you to arrive at your house. The rest of the ride was spent in silence. You ran into the house before anything else could be said and took a shower, you needed to wash the shame and dirt of your body.

Not bothering with a towel you left the bathroom to get some clothes. What you didn't expect was Ali comfortably resting on the bed, her eyes checking you out shamelessly.

"I– I- uhm, hi?" Why were you so nervous all of a sudden? It's not like they've never seen you naked before.

You tried walking backwards to flee into the bathroom and grab a towel but your body collided with another one behind you.

"Not so fast." You jumped feeling Ash's cold hands on your hips, trapping you by pressing herself against your naked back.

Her lips trailed featherlight kisses along the side of your neck before biting down and soothing it with her tongue. "Oh god." Your head fell back against her shoulder as your eyes closed.

"We thought we could cheer you up? You looked so sad and unhappy. Let us make you feel better, baby. We'll take care of you." Ali said softly.

You didn't dare move, too caught up with the feeling that Ash's hands and lips were giving you.

Your girlfriends shared a look of agreement and nodded. Without any effort Ash picked you up bridal style and carried you over to the bed.

Throwing you down the silky sheets made contact with your already highly sensitive skin.

Ali stayed put and continued watching as Ash climbed on top of you pinning your hands above your head. You didn't even struggle, she was much stronger than you anyways.

"Is this what you want, baby? Do you want us to make you feel good?" Ali asked taking her place next to you and Ashlyn.

The blonde on top of you continued kissing your neck teasingly, her lips barely touching your skin but it still turned you into a mess.

"Answer her!" Ash exclaimed and bit down again. "Oh fuck– yes! I want that." You whimpered, trying to arch into your girlfriend but her weight had you pressed down.

Ash released your hands and backed off the bed, leaving you confused for a second. "Hey, love. I missed you." Ali straddled your hips and leaned down grabbing your hands.

"I missed you too." Your voice was shaking with pleasure while Ali intertwined your fingers, pinning your hands down once again, nibbling on your earlobe.

Ash, enjoying the view very much, removed her top with a grin. She would much rather have you on your stomach, one of her straps buried deep into your pussy while she could easily slap your ass, but she knew right now you needed comfort more than rough fucking.

Sex with either one of them was mind blowing but the two of them together just shamelessly fucking you? That's always a lifetime experience.

Ali climbed off your lap and positioned herself next to your chest as Ashlyn returned spreading your legs as much as possible and sitting in between.

"Now, let's get to the fun part, shall we." She said and leaned down, completely avoiding the place where you needed her the most and instead gently kissed your inner thigh making sure to leave big purple marks.

You threw your head back as Ali's lips made contact with your collar bone, kissing a trail down to your left boob while her hand massaged your right boob, twisting and rubbing the nipple as well.

For a moment your body didn't know what to do with Ashlyn between your shaking legs and Ali's lips closing around your nipple, biting and sucking it until it stood hard.

"How does that feel, babygirl?" Ashlyn asked. You managed to open your eyes and saw both of them smirking down at you, making your clit throb.

"This- ugh, feels so good, so good. I need more, please!" You begged and grabbed the sheets.

Finally feeling Ash's lips on your clit you arched your back and moaned her name, your legs clamping around her neck trying to shove her deeper into your pussy. Of course careful to not hurt her.

"Look at you, so wet for us. We barely even touched you, baby." Ali hummed and enjoyed the view of Ash eating you out, your moans music to her ears.

Ash had a rough grip on your thighs as she went to work on your sensitive core, her tongue swirling and licking over your hole, collecting your endless wetness and enjoying the taste of you.

Your moans jumped an octave when she pushed her tongue through your folds, exploring your inner walls, pushing her tongue in and out.

"Oh god, oh fuck!" You grabbed Ali's forearm harshly, holding on for dear life as her finger started rubbing your abused clit, bringing you closer to your release.

"Whenever you're ready to cum baby. Do it for us. You so deserve it, love." Ali spoke and twisted your erect nipple with her free hand.

The knot in your stomach grew tighter as both women continued their actions. Opening your eyes you stared into the green orbs of your girlfriend, the sight sending you straight over the edge as her tongue sucked your folds and Ali still circling your clit.

"I'm coming! Oh my god! Oh my–" You yelled as stars, no, whole galaxies exploded behind your eyelids. The intense orgasm rocked your body, your muscles tensing until you breathlessly slumped back down, your girlfriends immediately letting go and comforting you.

Ash and Ali felt more than satisfied after watching you come like that; loving how your body twisted and convulsed with pleasure, your hands fisting the sheets.

"You did so good, babe. We love you." Ash kissed your knuckles while Ali played with your hair, both sandwiching you under the big blanket.

[jovialyouthmusic]

Silver Service - interlude

Olivia and Liam take some time out while Anton’s condition is monitored closely at the hospital

Word Count 2619

A/N My muse is being a little stubborn in bringing this part of the story to its conclusion, so I’m posting this while I persuade ‘her’ to cooperate. No warnings, just some fluff and pondering - not enough to be classed as angst. 

Please note I have reduced my tag list, as a lot of folk have not responded for some while and I don’t want to nag them. If you want to be tagged. let me know.

20a Taking Stock

‘I can’t possibly leave the capital with Anton in this state’ Liam said grimly ‘It would be seen to be uncaring and irresponsible’ He and Olivia had delayed their trip to Lythikos, and they were uncertain as to whether to go ahead with it, or cancel. They had returned to the Palace after being updated on Anton’s condition, who now had some level of consciousness, but it was very strange. His eyes were open and he seemed to understand what was being said to him, but he was unable to speak. They were not allowed in to see him as it was feared that their presence might provoke another reaction such as the one that Olivia had triggered. They had also been told that after they left, Anton looked terrified and his eyes never stopped moving, darting about the room. His breathing was erratic, so they’d had to sedate him to keep him calm. She shuddered.

‘The doctor said his expression was alarming. It was a damn shock when he grabbed me’

‘I know, Livvy. Perhaps you could speak to Lucretia and ask her about the poison she used. I daresay that’s what’s causing the strange symptoms.’ Olivia put her hand on her belly, still flat as she was only in her first trimester.

‘The doctor told me I should rest’ she grimaced ‘Much as I’d love to grill the old bitch, the baby’s health comes first. Apparently high blood pressure is not a good thing in my condition’

‘Of course, I should have known that. I could ask my masseur to make a visit to the Palace Spa suite to help you relax’ Liam suggested. Olivia made a sour face, and Liam moved behind her to gently massage her shoulders ‘You do feel very tense’ She sighed and leaned back into him slightly.

‘Actually that sounds fantastic. A soak in hot water would be good too. We can work out what to do in the morning. I might even be up to talking to Lucretia then.’  

‘Well let’s take a break right now’ Liam suggested. ‘I’ll just check that Janice is in today’

--------

Half an hour later, Olivia lay back in a warm bath. Janice, the palace masseuse had told her that getting into a hot tub while pregnant was not advised, so Liam had drawn the water for her in the oversized bath in his suite and checked the temperature. The tub was big enough for both of them, so he got in with her as she sipped mineral water with slices of citrus. She sighed happily and wiggled her toes, closing her eyes in bliss. Janice was setting up the massage table in Liam’s lounge while they bathed.

‘This mineral water isn’t half bad’ Olivia said ‘Normally I’d be drinking champagne, but I find I’ve rather gone off alcohol’

‘That’s not uncommon’ Liam said ‘Many women lose the taste for alcohol as soon as they fall pregnant’ Olivia smiled

‘You’ve been reading up on it, haven’t you?’ Liam looked bashful

‘Of course, I said I wanted to be supportive, and I wanted to get the facts. But they say every woman is different, so tell me if I get anything wrong’

‘I don’t think anyone knows me better than you’ Olivia said. Liam looked across at her fondly. She looked different – her complexion was more rosy, and the angles of her face and figure were slightly softer. Only someone who knew her well would notice, and he wondered if that had triggered Lucretia’s discovery of the pregnancy. He knew that very soon he had to acknowledge their arrangement – he would already have done so if it were not for Anton.

She had said that she had no desire to be Queen, but as he pondered, he thought that perhaps her skills might compliment his. His father had apparently ruled benevolently, but under the surface he had been ruthless. He planned to rule benignly if it was possible, so perhaps having Olivia as his Queen could give him an edge, stop him from being too soft. He wouldn’t rush into it however – it was just a possibility should he remain King.

‘If I lie here any longer I’ll fall asleep’ Olivia cut into his thoughts ‘I’m starting to wrinkle up, too.’ Liam rose from the bathwater and reached for a towel to dry off.

‘Don’t get out just yet’ he said ‘Wait a moment’ She lay back and stayed where she was, her gaze running over his toned torso as he dried himself off, putting on boxer shorts and a dressing gown. Then he beckoned her, holding out a thick fluffy towel for her, gently helping to dry her. For a moment she looked as if she would refuse him, but she relaxed and allowed him to pamper her. When she had wrapped a fresh bath towel around her and fastened it, they went through into the lounge, where Janice had set up two tables.

‘Now don’t worry, Lady Olivia’ Janice said ‘His majesty has told me of your condition in strict confidence, and you can be assured that this massage will take it into consideration. You’ll be completely safe in my hands. I will avoid any areas that might be sensitive, and use appropriate massage oils. Please let me know if you’re at all uncomfortable.’ She turned to Liam as Olivia settled onto the massage table ‘I took the liberty of asking Carlo to come and give you a massage too, your grace. He’s waiting in the corridor – may I call him in?’

‘That’s very considerate of you, Janice’ Liam replied ‘Of course he can come in.’ The young woman went to the lounge door and let the other masseur in as Liam took his dressing gown off, and soon he and Olivia were destressing under the expert hands of the two therapists. Liam tried to keep Anton out of his thoughts, and hoped Olivia was too. Soon his mind was more clear, and he felt the tension of the last few days melt away.

The massage over, the two masseuses left the suite, taking their tables and oils with them. Olivia lounged on the couch, her face serene and her eyelids drooping. She had fastened her hair into a messy updo before getting into the bath, and tendrils were escaping, further softening her features.

‘You can sleep here tonight’ Liam offered ‘There aren’t any other guests staying in this wing, and the staff will be discreet’

‘I don’t know’ mused Olivia sleepily. ‘Although that sounds heavenly. I’m not sure if I could make it to my suite, close as it is.’

‘Then come and rest with me’ Liam said softly ‘You can always go back if you wake up in the night’ As Olivia started to rise, he held out his hand to help her up. She frowned slightly

‘You don’t have to treat me like I’m china’ she said, but there was no harsh note in her voice.

‘I know, but you’ve been through a lot. Anything I can do to help, I’ll do it’ She nodded

‘Thank you Liam’ she replied ‘You’re a good man – you always have been. I don’t…’

‘If you’re going to say you don’t deserve to be looked after and pampered, stop right there’ Liam scolded. ‘Come to bed and sleep, and you’ll be refreshed in the morning’

‘I may be sick in the morning’ she said wryly ‘But I appreciate what you’re doing. I suppose I’ve always had a hard time accepting kindness’ She let him lead her to the bedroom, letting the towel drop and sliding between the cool sheets as he picked up the towel and took off his dressing gown to join her. He lay beside her, she on her back and he on his side facing her. She closed her eyes, her breath slowing until…

‘You’re looking at me, aren’t you?’ she said sleepily. He laughed softly

‘How can you tell?’

‘I can feel your breath – and I know you very well, Liam Bradley Rys’ she murmured. ‘You can barely take your eyes off me lately’

‘I can’t help it’ he replied ‘You’re changing. It’s subtle, but you’re different, Livvy’

‘Please don’t tell me I’m glowing’

‘Of course not, that comes later – but you’re not as pale as usual’ She remained silent. ‘May I touch you?’ he asked. She sighed

‘Of course you can. After all, we did a lot more than touch in order for me to get pregnant’

‘I just – don’t want to be disrespectful’ he said. She opened her eyes and turned her head toward him.

‘If I let you, will you let me sleep?’ she asked, her green eyes piercing his.

‘Naturally. I just wanted to…’ he reached out and his hand hovered over her belly reverently ‘It’s really there’ he said ‘I can’t quite believe it. A new human being – yours and mine’. She took his hand and laid it over her womb, smiling softly.

‘I know’ she said ‘I can’t either’

------

True to her word, Olivia woke feeling sick, and disentangled herself from the bedclothes and from Liam’s arm that was placed protectively over her hip. It was the first time she had stayed the entire night with him. She had slept solidly, but the morning brought back the remembrance of her condition and all the complications associated with Anton. Liam stirred and rolled over on his back, arm thrown up over his forehead. He looked so peaceful and vulnerable as she left him sleeping, tiptoeing to the bathroom. She threw open the window to get some fresh air, taking in lungfulls to counteract the waves of nausea that washed over her.

Back in her suite she had a herbal remedy from her home country, obtained with the help of a maid of hers who had feigned pregnancy and gone to a herbalist. She really didn’t feel up to the walk along the corridor to her rooms, so rode out the sickness. There came a soft knock on the door and she heard Liam’s voice.

‘Are you okay, Livvy? Can I do anything?’

‘Come in, the door’s not locked’ Liam came in, barefoot and wearing his dressing gown, silky red and piped with gold, the belt tied loosely round his slim hips and hanging loose on his broad shoulders, agape a little at the neck showing off the sparse golden hair on his chest. His hair was immaculate as usual – or rather, as it had been when they entered the suite the previous night. He often had to groom himself after their more athletic sessions in bed. He gave her a sympathetic look. She sighed, sure that a few months ago she would have found that irritating, but now she was just grateful to have someone to support her.

‘You can fetch my toiletries bag’ she said ‘It’s in my en suite. I’m pretty sure I can’t make it there without throwing up’

‘Of course’ Liam said ‘I’ll get it myself’

‘Wait’ Olivia said ‘Would that look odd? Are we ready for anyone to know about us?’ She saw a flicker of something go across his face. What was it – affection? Joy? Surprise? She realised she had said ‘us’ rather than ‘our arrangement’

‘The staff are all sworn to secrecy, you should know that after all this time, Livvy’ he pointed out. ‘They rarely question anything I do.’ She laughed

‘Of course you’re less likely to do anything undesirable or dubious than your father – or Leo’ He grinned.

‘Poor Bastien, they both gave kept him on his toes – though for different reasons. I suppose that’s partly why he’s so sharp. Lewis is good, but he doesn’t have that certain something Bas does.’

‘It must be like a holiday looking after you – or would be if it wasn’t for Anton’ He frowned at the mention of his nemesis.

‘I’ll go and get your bag’ he said shortly ‘We can talk about Severus when you’re feeling better’

-------

Liam left his rooms and went out into the corridor, and the guard greeted him. He gave him a dismissive wave.

‘Get the kitchen to send breakfast up, will you?’ he asked ‘I’ll only be a moment’

‘Sir’ The guard muttered into his lip mic as Liam went to Olivia’s suite to fetch her bag. He paused to look around the familiar room, which had been a favourite of his mothers. It had been redecorated a few times since her death, but always in the same way. The colours, the furniture layout, the soft furnishings had not differed, though anything worn or shabby had been replaced by something similar or identical. He cast his mind back to the end of his social season, when he had tried to sum up his feelings for the other suitors. At that time, he had told himself he loved no-one, had felt no affection for any of his lovers, all his intimate relationships short and transient or sporadic. Although he felt no love for any of them, he hadn’t wanted to enter into a loveless marriage for the sake of his heirs, so he had chosen – no-one.

This was changing with Olivia. Her offer to bear his heir without expecting to be Queen had meant that they had spent time together – and not just in the bedroom. The conflict with Anton had brought them closer together. He would not abandon her to her fate. He realised that something was growing inside him – affection at the least. He really cared for her – did he love her? Was this what love was? He smiled to himself as he entered her bathroom and looked for the toiletries bag she had described. Not so long ago he would have sent a servant to fetch it. But now he wanted to do things for her himself, to go into her room and see how she occupied it, how she used the familiar space.

Although she had not been beside him when he woke, he had liked having her there in his living space. He wondered what it would be like to have her there all the time. She was fierce and independent and didn’t suffer fools gladly. He liked her down to earth attitude, her talent of getting straight to the truth, her fearless nature. He knew that as King he would have little spare time. Olivia would be able to cope with that, he realised. How could he have overlooked her suitability as a possible Queen?

His father had always been dismissive of Olivia, and now he knew how much he had hated the Nevrakis. He had influenced Liam’s view of his childhood friend, undermining her subtly, insidiously, fundamentally. Now he was coming out of Constantine’s shadow, he saw the world in a different way. Some areas were darker than he had realised, but some were lighter. Olivia brought him hope – she knew what Constantine was, and together they could undo many of the bad things he had done.

If only Anton had not come along and tried to take her away from him. But she was a fighter, and he would fight with her. Whatever it took, he would protect her, support her, help her to achieve her full potential. Just as his role as monarch was endangered, if he lost that, he would still have Olivia. Together they fought for Cordonia, but if that battle was lost, they would have each other – and the heir.

He snapped back to reality as his eyes alighted on the toiletries bag she had asked for, and picked it up. With a little smile, he turned and made his way back to his suite, and the woman that waited for him.

@sirbeepsalot @stopforamoment @drakesensworld @katedrakeohd​ @texaskitten30​ 

@be-still-my-aching-heart @hopefulmoonobject @dcbbw @classylady1234 @rainbowsinthestorm 

@kimmiedoo5 @bascmve01  @ibldw-main @addictedtodrakefanfic @trappedinfandoms @ravenpuff02​

[writers-blogck]

BNHA Imagines - MISC 01

                          Meeting for the First Time

Hitoshi Shinso: 

   He was pissed that he was put in the General Studies, he should be in one of the hero courses! Those tests weren't made for a quirk like his so there was no way for him to show off how powerful it could be. Plus, just to top it all off and piss him off further, he could hear a couple of students whispering about him. He could tell they were all support heroes, huddled up and gossiping. He thought that this would go away when he got into U.A. but guess jerks would always find a way. He was used to it by now.    "He looks super creepy, it's like he wants to be known as a villain." The one girl spoke, obviously frightened by the purple-haired boy.    "I know. Mind control is always bad, how could a hero have that quirk?"    "I bet he'll drop out and join the League of Villains. He already fits the part."    The words filled him with both anger and sadness. He had lived his entire life with those words and worked every day to prove them wrong. He had thought that since U.A. would be different since he had expected the students to be smarter but it was obvious that he was wrong. The three years here would be filled with voices and hidden stares just like the rest of his life. Why should he expect anyone to think differently?    "You do realize that the number three pro-hero is a man-made up of fire, right?" A new voice spoke up, bringing Shinso out of his thoughts and made him pay attention again, "That seems pretty villainy to me. What about thirteen? I'm sure people thought that her quirk could only be used for villainy. Plus it has been scientifically proven that a majority of villains were students who either failed or kept being told they could only be a villain instead of a hero. So please, be my guest if you want to keep berating him but don't be upset when he treats you like a villain. Even the best person will be a villain if they are diminished enough. All it takes is one bad day."    Your eyes glowed a medium blue as you stared at the girls. You were part of the support class as well but still had a powerful quirk. It was called Memory Card, allowing your brain to reach super-genius levels for up to fifteen minutes. You would remember anything you had ever been told and could use this power to access all of that knowledge. It helped that you were just super smart, to begin with, knowing your brain was made to support such knowledge. As your eyes slowly changed back to (e/c), the group of students scurried away.    Before Shinso had the chance to talk to you, you were gone. At that moment, he made it his duty to go find you and at least learn your name.

Mirio Togata:

Panic began to fill your chest as you crumbled against an alley wall. The dim street lights were the only thing lighting up the world around you. Everything seemed so dark and like there could be anything just around the corner. Whispers swirled around you and you could feel she was on her way. Why did it have to be like this? You would prefer not having a quirk to having to go through this. It made your entire body want to shut down.

Most of the time you were able to control her. As long as you were able to keep yourself calm and collected, she couldn't take control. You were able to use your quirk as it should be used. It was able to make people see their biggest fears, something which kept you from training with it as much as you should. How could you train with someone when you would have to make them feel that way? You had vowed from a young age to only ever use it in emergencies and against bad guys. Yet, due to your lack of training, she was able to take over every now and again.

Nightmare felt like a demon at times. You had no clue how these types of quirks worked. The only other person who you knew who had something like this was Tokoyami and he didn't understand himself. Dark Shadow got stronger when he was in the darkness, Nightmare got stronger the more you lost control of your thoughts. Breathing hurt as you gasped, fingers scratching at your neck as if something was choking you. You had medication to keep these episodes from coming on but you had run out. The doctor said he could see you in a few weeks and that you shouldn't have any attacks. Well, obviously he was wrong.

Hot tears streamed down your cheeks, one of the only things you were able to feel at that point. The rest of your body felt like it was numb and wasn't in your control anymore. No matter how many times you reminded yourself it wasn't real, it didn't help. Her sharp talons had attached themselves deep in your back and were planning on staying there. She had never gotten control of your body but you were terrified one day she would be strong enough. "Hey!" An echo reverberated around your skull, seeming to come from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. It was a male voice and while Nightmare could mimic someone, this sounded different. It felt hot, unlike everything around you that was freezing you to the bone. It seemed to only strengthen due to the voice but a patch of warm spread on your shoulder, shaking you. Loud thunder rumbled from above - she was angry. The talons tightened but you forced yourself to focus on the soft warmth until you felt your eyes open again.

The alleyway faded away as the light returned, bringing you out of your attack. The sun was shining down at your crumbled form against a tree on school grounds, your skin suddenly becoming quite warm. How long had you been here with the hot sun shining down on you? As you sat up properly, you could feel the sweat under your blazer and made a mental note to get some water as soon as you were inside. "Are you okay?" Your attention shifted to the boy standing above you, his voice exactly like the one you heard before. He was larger than you overall, suggesting him being an upperclassman. He wasn't part of 1-B, the class you had been assigned to. They told you that if you had more control over your powers, you could have made it into 1-A. You wanted to but you had no idea how to train without using someone else. What class was this boy in? General Studies? Support? Your mind was in a daze, slowly shifting your attention to the blue worried eyes looking down at you. Blonde hair was pushed back, though it was beginning to get messy with the heat. The first thought in your head as you saw his face for the first time was: Can the sun be a person?

Tamaki Amajiki:

Japan was so different than America. You knew you were lucky to be one of the transfer students to U.A. but it was intimidating with the entirely new country. The manners were so different here, they had so many ideas of what was polite and what was disrespectful. How would you learn it all? Would someone get mad at you because you were a foreigner? These thoughts filled your head until a shout rang out and you felt a large amount of force push against you. It was easy to regain your balance after stumbling back an inch or so. The sound of metal crunching up filled your ears as you began to focus back in on the present. What had happened? "Oh my god, are you okay?" A purple-haired boy that was much taller than you asked, running over in your direction before slowing as he got closer. His eyes moved from your figure to the crumbled car in front of you. A mixture of confusion and panic washed over his face as you casually looked down at the ruined vehicle. Luckily, no one was inside. What had happened? You glanced toward the direction it came from before you felt pale hands ghosting over your skin in search of some type of wounds. "I'm fine!" You smiled up at him, causing him to stumble back to put some space in between the two of you again. "That's a full car that just hit you. Maybe you have a concussion...Hm, you need a medic but the villain is still attacking...What should I do?" He mumbled the last part to himself, body rocking back and forth on his heels. This reaction was normal for you when someone saw your quirk for the first time. You were small, just reaching 5 feet (a symptom of your quirk), which often caused people to see you as fragile. It was rather ironic when they finally saw what you could take.

"I can take it. I am like super dense, you definitely can't pick me up. I'm 300 pounds if you can believe that!" "What...?" "My friends from home call me Buggie because of my quirk. I'm like an ant, do you know about them? I'm sure you do but some people don't think about how strong they are. They can carry up to 1,000 times their weight! I can do that too, isn't that really cool? I mean, lifting 1,000 times my body weight is straining but you know what I mean. " "Yeah, alright. If you're not hurt..." There was doubt in his eyes but he needed to get back to the battle. He would have to trust you if he could get back to Fatgum and help him. What if he was being hurt right now? His stomach twisted and he felt like he was ready to throw up. "No, I'm fine! I can move this car if you need, I could easily pick it up and-" "Ah- I don't have time. I'm sorry, I need to get back to that villain." A simple nod was all that you got as a parting before he was running off, white cape fluttering behind him. You wondered if he was a student of U.A. as you walked away, looking down at the address of the school that you were trying to find. 

Nejire Hado:

When Ryuku decided to take you, along with Tsu and Uraraka for your internships, you were shocked. You were a quiet and shy individual, feeling a lot smaller than the two other girls. Both of them weren't afraid to speak out about what they think or how people are going to react. To you, this was your everyday life. Your quirk allowed you to see the future, multiple versions of the future. Sometimes it was good but you often saw so many terrible and dangerous things. Such simple things could hurt so many people. It had left you filled with anxiety, wishing you could turn off your visions. What was even more shocking was the member of the big three that also was part of your group. The three of them had spoken to your class, though you had a hard time paying attention, you still were able to remember her. Nejire, that was her name. She was so much nicer than you thought. She was so patient with you, it had to be due to Tamaki. She was used to dealing with someone with a fast-acting mind.

"Senpai..." You spoke softly, catching the attention of the blue-haired girl. The first time you had called her that was an accident but she seemed to like it. You couldn't help but wonder if she paid more attention to you than the other two girls. Was that fair? Were you just overthinking it and seeing things that weren't really there? "Yes?" She smiled and your heart couldn't help but skip a beat. Nejire was just so pretty and sweet, it was hard to keep yourself from getting flustered around her. She was what you dreamed to be but you doubted you would ever be as good as her. You didn't even have a chance, why did you keep trying? Shaking your head ever so slightly, you pushed those thoughts away to focus on the task at hand. "Are you sure you want to take me on patrol with you instead of Tsu or Uraraka? I'm certain they would be more suited for it...I don't want to mess up and make something-" "You are perfect for patrol, my little kohai. Plus, I want to get to know you better and you seem to be less nervous when there are not many people. Don't worry about it, I'm certain about my choices. I like to think I make pretty good ones, you know?" Her arm flung over your shoulders, leading you forward as you were left in silence. How could your face feel this hot? Was the air thinner? "O-Okay..."

How were you going to survive this girl?

All-Might:

The two of you were much younger when the two of you met for the first time. It was hazy to remember how it all went. It was strange to think there was a time you didn't know him or Aizawa or the others. They felt so permanent in your life now that thinking before them felt wrong. All-Might was one of the top heroes and the others were rising in the ranks just as much! Why would you want to focus on the past when the present was so good? It wasn't as magical as the press tried to guess. They said he rescued you from falling off a bridge or you had been a hostage but it was nothing that fancy. The two of you had met your first day of U.A. because the two of you were in 1-A. Toshinori attracted the attention of most of the other students and you would be lying if you said you didn't check him out like the others. He was handsome- a strong body with a dazzling smile. The full package. When lunch rolled around, you would be surprised when he approached you first, asking if he could sit with you. It wasn't that you approached him first and fell in love like the media believed. It was the exact opposite. If anyone asked him to this day, he would be willing to gush about you for hours if they let him. At first, it was a simple adoration as a friend who was proud but it began to change. It would all be out in the open when he ended up kissing you while a camera was pointing at the two of you. That was when all shit went loose. But it was much simpler back when the two of you were in school. It was no different than any puppy dog crush between two people. The two of you had no clue of the chaos and pain that waited for the two of you in the future. Who would expect their happiness to be on a timer?

Aizawa Shouta:

It wasn't rare to find Aizawa drinking at a bar in his free time. He was stressed and it was only getting worse as the year progressed. His students were being put in more and more danger and there was nothing he could do about it. These villains were getting ahead of the pro heroes and it was increasingly becoming hazier on if they could win. One would like to believe the good guys always will win but Aizawa knew better. He had lost that innocence long ago.

"Are you alright?" A soft voice brought him out of his thoughts, making him look up to see the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. They held no grief or guilt in them and instead sparkled in the dim bar light. They were holding a small glass of wine, their lips dyed with a faint hue of red. "I'm fine." He grumbled, eyes drifting to the whiskey in his cup. Was this his second glass? He didn't keep track, he just drank until those thoughts left. It was one of the only ways he was able to get some sleep recently. It wasn't healthy but he didn't know of another way. So much was happening and he was in charge of making sure his students were safe. Bakugo had gotten kidnapped, who knew what else was coming? They were children...

Without any warning, they sat down in the stool next to him silently. Nothing was said between the two of them at that moment or the rest of the night. Aizawa didn't have to do anything and yet, the person stayed. He had expected to get annoyed but the presence of another person helped. His mind was able to relax if only for the few hours they were able to spend together. The minutes passed as they sat together, drinking their respective drinks. The sun soon set and the darkness began to cover the city. The time of the villains. He needed to go, he had work in the morning. He may not get a lot of sleep but he was going to take advantage of the warm liqueur in his stomach and the calmness this person provided. As he stood to put his jacket back on, his eyes glanced over at the dark streets again and couldn't help but think about how dangerous it was outside. He was a hero, after all, he was trained to go out when it was like this but when he looked at the other person, they looked just like a citizen. Before they parted, he took a chance and offered to walk them home. He was considering taking it back but once they agreed, he was too far gone.

Hawks:

For your first two years of attending U.A., you were an intern under Aizawa. He would never admit it but he had a soft spot in his heart for you. When you first entered the school, you had no family and had self-esteem about as good as Tamaki's, one of your juniors. You could remember seeing him get into 1-A as you were finishing up your last year. That had been a hectic time for you but you were part of the top three of your own year and had to give a speech. You were proud when you heard the shy boy was in his own big three. You knew he had talent when you met him.

Most of your time was spent in your internships as you had two to do, something extremely rare. Your official internship was under Aizawa and you were training to become a teacher at U.A. but you wanted some more fieldwork under your belt. When you first started, Aizawa did have you go on missions and such but it had declined the older you got and the more concrete your goal of working at U.A. became. It was true but you wanted more. That was when you met him for the first time. He was amazing to watch! When hearing that he was only twenty, you decided that you would internship under him.

Aizawa tried to talk you out of it but he knew once you had something on your mind, you wouldn't stop until you got it. It took a lot to finally get the boy to agree to take you under his wing. He gave a long list of reasons why the two of you would be a terrible pairing but you kept coming back with reasons that destroyed his complaints. In the end, it was your determination that made him agree to let you tag along. What would your life be if he rejected you? Once you finished your final year in U.A., you were given a position as a teacher's assistant, to Aizawa as was expected. When you got a few years under your belt with him, Nezu would then allow you to teach first years. It was a dream come true! Training future heroes was amazing but you did have that tug every now and again where you wanted to help with more hero work.  Hawks decided to let you come with him on patrols whenever you got that way, the two of you going through many sleepless nights together. The press even dubbed you as Hawk's 'semi-sidekick'. You weren't in the front lines a lot but you really appreciated what Hawks did.

Hawks had no clue what to expect when he took you in. He had never been a mentor to someone and it was strange when they were only three years his junior. The mentorship morphed into a strange friendship that only strengthened once you graduated. What he didn't expect was to begin feeling differently about you, no longer seeing you just a kid. Aizawa had accepted his soft spot for you during your second year but Hawks was still in denial about how he really felt. The two felt different types of love for you but without you even knowing, you had them wrapped around your finger.