#imagine having sex with your bestie’s wife after he sacrificed himself for you

[anemonecoronaria]

SPOILERS

The love I hold for Miquel Moliner is the one he should have had, he deserved so much better than Nuria and Julian and the absolute shamelessness they had, especially when it came to his death. I can’t believe how much this man sacrificed for so little in return and for such an awful life, he needed better friends.

And Julian didn’t really love Penelope as much as he loved the idea and memory of her, because what he did was cheating (even if Penelope was actually dead by that time but he didn’t know that). You come back to Barcelona under the pretence that she’s still alive and awaiting your return, and in the mean time shamelessly have sex with a woman who has an unrequited love for you? It’s callous and disrespectful, and I’m shocked how the narrative glosses over this. I feel so bad for Nuria.

The only decent person in that backstory was in fact Miquel Moliner. That’s not to say that I don’t absolutely love Julian Carax and Nuria Montfort, they are excellent characters. I can appreciate the tragedy of the whole thing, and do understand why the author chose to craft his story that way, but I can’t get behind the love story between Julian and Penelope, to be honest. Whatever love he held for her, I think it was borderline obsessive, especially into adulthood, otherwise it was so clunky. I think that could have been improved upon, and Julian Carax spends a lot of time unpresent in the book, when he could have showed up more, he held a certain menace and gravitas that was lacking by the end.

However, I can overlook all of this in favour of the ambience, enchanting prose and gravity of this book. Zafon was a phenomenal writer; I could feel the brilliance of the Spanish language beneath the English translation. The characters also had so much heart and were very vivid and memorable. I think The Shadow of the Wind has a soul, which not many works of art do. If I have a criticism, it was that much was left to be desired from the female characters. All of them were two dimensional and boring, and Nuria Montfort was by far the most complex, and even then she was surface level and lacking.

My thoughts are very jumbled at the moment but despite the flaws, the fact that this novel has a heart and soul that many other books lack, raises it very easily. I fell in love with it from the very first page and this is making me ignore the glaring flaws, even if I’m not blind to them, they add to the beauty of the book in a way that’s very rare. An overall charming and gorgeous read, definitely one of my absolute favourites.

[imagine-loki]

The Naughty Poltergeist

TITLE :The Naughty Poltergeist

CHAPTER: #1 of ?

AUTHOR'S: lokilover9 & velvetzybanshee

RATING: M

NOTES: This one shot is based on Loki having paid penance for ruining Thor's coronation. He never fell from the bifrost, nor attacked earth and is now free. Not to discount his true history, we just thought he deserved some happy. As for Felipe, he's based on the Spanish character Agador Spartacus, from the movie  The Birdcage and speaks in broken english. 

EXTRAS: Madre = mother  niña = girlfriend  panocha = pussy

Original Imagine  

Imagine thinking your new house is haunted. No one knows Loki lives there because he's always invisible and conjures furniture as needed. Disgruntled by your presence, he behaves like a poltergeist until one day you've had enough."I'm not leaving! Show yourself dammit!" Nothing happens for days and you think he's gone. Then while giving friends a tour, you find him naked on your bed drinking whiskey. "Cheers, darling. You did say show myself." Only you can see him and he follows you around like that for the remainder of their visit.

Loki was content residing on Midgard. With Thor King of Asgard remaining heavily influenced by Odin, he felt displaced as ever and decided to travel abroad. It was aloud providing he didn't hide from Heimdall and returned were the realm threatened, but that didn't mean he behaved. Midgard's continents teamed with beautiful maidens and Loki spent months at a time seducing them across the globe. Yet an introvert by nature, the constant socializing became exhausting. He needed intervals of solitude to rejuvenate his mind and cock. Indecisive of where, he conjured a world map, closed his eyes and randomly chose a location. 

First attempt. "A Frost Giant in the Amazon? I think not." 

Second. "Middle of the Bermuda Triangle? Know enough aliens already, thank you." 

Third. "Inside and active volcano? Fenrir's arsehole." He scoffed. 

Fourth. "Very well. Maine it is." 

The god settled in a vacant Victorian evicting its two following buyers with  'ghostly' shenanigans. Yet to the king of this miniature palace's annoyance the next didn't frighten so easily. 

Alexis was proud having bought her own house after a long divorce. Closer to friends and hours from meddling family, she'd thought herself free of troubles until sensing the place haunted. While unpacking, items started going missing and resurfacing in different places like her keys, clothing and once her vibrator after an evening of ménage à moi, disturbingly appeared in her dishwasher the next morning. Doors would slam, electricity short circuited, faucets unexpectedly ran, but most disconcerting was a voice randomly whispering 'mine' into her ear. Whether in the shower, her yard, doorways, the ghost didn't care. Alexis burned sage, had the house blessed, held a seance with a local paranormal group, but nothing helped. When returning after a long day at work to find half the main floor repacked, she angrily shouted into the air. 

"Ha ha, trickster! You don't scare me and I am 'not' leaving!" She held up a large envelope. "This is 'my' crib and here's the deed to prove it. Show yourself dammit!" Nothing happened so she put everything back, showered, grabbed her vibrator and stormed into the upstairs corridor. "And one more thing! See this? Touch it again and I'll summon your ass with a ouija board and douse you in holy water!" 

Loki inwardly chuckled. 'I'll be sure to bring a towel.' When she fell asleep reading in bed, he snuck a peek at what had intrigued her. 'Smutty fanfiction? Tisk, darling. Who could your heartthrob be? The name sounded familiar so he googled it. 'Ah, the actor from Crimson Peak. Good movie, but I'm much better looking. 'A wicked grin curled his lips when she moaned Tom's name. 'Maybe I need to play a little 'dirtier.'

With the next several days uneventful, Alexis thought she'd frightened the ghost off when in reality he was buying time. Since moving her in friends offered extra hands in their free time, but it was her befriended neighbor, a single gay man with a flamboyant, funloving personality who'd helped the most. They met one afternoon when she peered over his fence to complain about blaring Salsa music as he hosted a pool party. Felipe was sunbathing in a yellow thong, wearing sunglasses with enough bling to impress Liberace and choked on a shot of tequila when she whipped a pebble at his head. He invited her over with a promise to adorn shorts, they hit it off and became besties. 

Alexis planned to have other friends over for dinner one month after moving in, but with all the goings on had postponed twice. Now with a set date, Felipe was invited too and asked what she planned to cook.

"Who said anything about cooking? I suck at it Amigo and prefer no one hurling on my lawn." 

She waved a take out menu and he dramatically gasped. "Chinese food for eight people? Where you gonna put up you blow job booth to pay the mortgage after?"

Alexis smirked. "You're such a slut, Felipe."

He shrugged. "Happy whoopie stick makes a happy me."

"I think I've forgotten what they look like." 

"I show you mine, but no touchy touchy." She laughed, knowing he was kidding. "Too long without sex causes brain damage, niña. How long its been for you?" 

"Since my ex and I separated nineteen months ago."

"Ay dios mio. I lend you my Dustbuster for the cobwebs down there."

"Not funny, Felipe." 

"See. Abstinence makes everyone bitchy. My sister Maritza too. She was happy single before becoming a nun. Now she's Oscar the grouch with eyes like the chucky doll."

"How come you can pronounce words like 'abstinence' and 'cock' so well yet not others?" Alexis teased.

"Don't make me spank you. Come, we go shopping."

"For what?"

"I help you cook. We stay home and talk about cock, mine will curse me in Spanish. He's lonely too."

Alexis slipped on footwear. 

"Why you wearing those?" Asked Felipe.

"What's wrong with flip flops?" 

He stepped onto the porch. "You need something sexier, like bitch boots."

"It's ninety degrees in the shade today."

"So?"

Loki sighed when the door closed, relieved for some peace. He thought Felipe annoying enough as a neighbor yet worse as a guest who never stopped talking. So much so, he'd pondered concocting a tongue numbing spell, sneaking into his house and applying a heavy dose while he slept. But knowing his flair for drama, he'd run panicked to Alexis in the Boo from Monsters Inc. robe worn onto his deck every morning, carrying a note pleading to stay and until recovering, would hysterically sob each time he couldn't sing along to one of the show tunes on his phone. Loki opted to tolerate him for now. He'd be gone once Alexis left. 

The day of feasting came and while she handled finishing touches around the house, Felipe prepared guacamole dip and ingredients for fajitas while mixing margaritas. Hearing music, Alexis snuck to the kitchen and started recording him singing to Bad Girl, by Donna Summer while dancing like a hussy. 

"Toot toot, hey, beep beep

Toot toot, hey, beep beep

Hey mister, have you got a dime?

Hey mister, do you want to spend some time, ooh yeah

I got what you want, you got what I need

I’ll be your baby, come and spend it on me…"

He startled when noticing her.  "Girlfrien', you post that on social media, I kill you."

Alexis propped her phone on the counter and joined in wildly shaking her chest. 

Felipe tried the same. "No fair. I need big titties like yours to jiggle. Next time I bring tangerines and a bra."

Loki secretly watched on. 'Fucknuts.'

The three couples soon arrived. One, old neighbors of Alexis, Blake and Deidre, the others, her friends, Sage, Lisa and their newest flames Colby and Grant. She started a tour on the main floor then the upper leaving her bedroom for last. Excited to show it off, she was already opening the door as they shuffled out of the second.

"And this is my creme de la...eep!" She quietly squeaked once inside.

The resident spookster sat perched against her headboard sporting only what the Norn's delivered him to the universe in and winked pouring himself a whiskey. "You did say show myself, yes?"

She hurried out, slammed the door and her friends froze on approach. "Erm..wouldn't ya know I forgot to make my bed. Anyone for a drink?" 

Alexis passed them for the stairs and cringed when Deidre spoke. She was nice enough, but sometimes persistent when it wasn't welcome. "Nonsense, friends don't care. Right everyone?" 

Alexis continued down. "Enter at your risk then." 

Felipe watched her rush by into the pantry, close the door, followed and closed it too. "What you are doing?" 

"I can't go back out there."

"Why?" 

"He's upstairs naked on my bed." She anxiously whispered. 

"Which boyfriend? I take up the wooden spoon."

"No, the fucking ghost!" 

"It's a man? Is he hot and what do I tell your peeps? You afraid to come out of the closet?"

"Felipe!" 

"Sorry, it's the margaritas."

"I thought you the one person who believed my stories."

He eyed her sympathetically. "I do. You want I go bribe him to leave with a mcsqeezy?"

"Will you be serious? Ghosts aren't supposed to be naked. One look at him and everyone will think I invited them for an orgy." 

Blake and Grant came down first catching bits of their conversation and quietly conversed. 

"Can't believe she's still imagining this ghost." Blake wise cracked. "I always told Deidre she had a screw loose."

"Nah." Said Grant. "Lexi's a smart cookie. Sounds more like she needs a man. There's one inside with her. Maybe they'll shag, knock some shit off shelves." 

Felipe stuck his head out the door. "You not so quiet, cumquats. I gay. You want I show you my jolly green giant and shag 'you' inside against the creamed corn?"

Loki rubbed the back of his neck. 'I sacrificed prowling beaches of the French Riviera for this?'

Hearing the ladies coming, Alexis approached Blake and quietly inquired. "Still peeing in your wife's pond at night, murdering her koy? I'd see you through my bedroom blinds. Who's a few cans short of a six pack?" 

"Oooh snap." Said Felipe. 

Grant nudged the arse. "Let's chill in the dining room. There's a makeshift bar and appetizers."

The ladies entered the kitchen. "Who's a nincompoop?" Asked Deidre.

Felipe almost answered but pursed his lips together when Alexis loudly cleared her throat. "You know, just my ex."

"He sure is, honey." 

"Your bed's made, girl." Said Sage. "The room looks great." 

They all agreed passing through while thirty year old Lisa's younger boyfriend lingered. "Pretty awesome digs ya got here."

"Thanks." Replied Alexis.

Colby slid his hands into his pockets. "Soo..Lisa says you think it's haunted."

"Yep."

He spaced out for a second, staring at the floor. "I once thought a bat in our house was my dead uncle Howie haunting my parents for selling his mannequin of Vlad the Impaler. But hey, sometimes weird shit happens when you're stoned right?" Alexis and Felipe were saved when Lisa called him. "She misses me already. Laters." 

"He looks fresh from his madres panocha." Commented Felipe.

"That's the way Lisa likes them. Says the younger they are, the easier it is to train them."

Loki rolled his eyes. 'Age is irrelevant.'

Felipe feigned fright by playfully biting his nails. "She bad. Maybe Colby wear a leash and bark like a good doggy for her?" He goofily imitated one in a deep voice. "Woof, woof..woof. Or maybe he sound like an angry chihuahua?"

Alexis smirked. "I have my own problems. A streaking phantom who now makes unexpected appearances."

Felipe gave her a margarita. "Cheers. These make everything better." 

Alexis gulped down the beverage as he watched with raised brows. "Thanks. Next time that streaker appears, I'll just ignore him."

"Next time I give you smaller glass. Go enjoy you friends, niña"

She gave a thumbs up on her way out. "I got this. Easy peasy right?"

Loki mischievously grinned. 'Darling, I'm just getting started.

[fart-gate]

SG1

Season 5 episode 3

"ASCENSION"

Notes by me

- the music sounds like land before time

- bandana!Daniel

- "tedious.....tediousness"

- anytime Daniel talks about his job Jack and tealc walk away

- "dont turn it on" do u even know her

- she looks tired does she need a shoulder rub. I give great shoulder rubs

- Daniel swings his slutty little hips when he walks

- never not conducting the theme

- sam: I'm fine

Fraiser: have you considered the trauma

- Jack wants SPACE GUNS

- ok why we being bitchy to Sam

- oh this is gonna be a gay fight between Sam and friaser wife vs wife

- "take up golf, fly a kite...knit something"

- ah I remember answering machines

- creepy stalker ghost??

- holy shit that silhouette in the living room actually scared me. I'm turning it off now goodbye

- ok damn!!!! Ghost guy kinda cute???

- Daniel promising to call bc theyre besties and they share everything ❤

- ghost guy: I wont hurt u

sam: I will fuck you up so bad

- bro she knows how to murder ppl like professionally.......back up or get punched

- "I love you" who doesnt

- jacks gonna think she lost her marbles

- "surveillance" is a giant camera in the most obvious place imaginable

- tealc and Daniel research buddies

- tealc said she Cray Cray

- velona is 636

- orlin never missing an opertunity to tell her how hot she is

- its spirit swapping time

- why does he look like he belongs in like the backround of one episode of buffy the vampire slayer

- "close your eyes and relax" obligatory sex joke

- "no one has seen the things youve seen and until that happens we're all gonna think youre nuts!"

- the Pentagon sucks all they want is weapons

- surprise!!!! You can touch me now...maybe even...kiss...just a little...haha jk ......unless??

- tealc loves star wars so much he watched it 9 times

- also yeehaw another great hat for tealc in the books

- jacks like oh???? A date????? Text me details later girl u know I love that gossip

- he saved a whole ass planet!!! A good guy all around

- I hate his beings rules they suck

- orlin took a gamble on if Sam would fuck him if he turned human and boy is he bad at math

- hammond threatening ppl with the president is always a good time

- I would kill for a guy that broke my microwave to make me an emerald

- orlin: you think I'm so sexy it hurts

Sam:............................yeah

- pentagon guy can suck my dick

- I literally love him so much omg. She walks in and is like omg I'm sorry about all this I promise I didnt give u up and hes like I know.

- he made a stargate out of her toaster 😩husband material

- of course she followed him

- let him destroy the weapon clearly he knows what hes doing . we blowing shit up as usual folks

- they shot my alien hottie!!!

- he blew himself up for them:( I want to drown in a lake of my own tears

- how come all sams love interests die

- bye orlin :( sorry you never got to smash

~

Sam whump: emotional at end

Orlin whump: shot several times, fought, blood, dying, sacrificed himself

🎶listening to Better Place by Rachel Platten 🎶 for Orlin falling in love with Sam as soon as he saw her after being imprisoned on a trash planet for centuries