#milk writes

[milkteamoon]

The first and only girl Martin goes out with is openly bisexual.

He doesn't know if she counts, if he's being honest — it wasn't a crush, he knows that, and years down the line, when he thinks back to it, he can't remember them ever having a proper conversation about the whole status of their single-night relationship. He knows she had short hair, and sat in front of him in math class, and needed a date to the fall semi-formal so she'd asked if he was busy that weekend, and he'd said no, and then she'd asked if she could borrow a pen, and he'd said yes. He couldn't remember her name if he tried.

He does remember the pink and blue bracelet on her wrist that she'd worn to the event itself, and then to get ice cream after, where he'd sat on the curb of some old parking lot at the edge of town with her and her friends and her friends' boyfriends and her friends' boyfriends' friends, none of which were his friends, because Martin didn't have many of those. Except maybe the girl whose name he couldn't remember. Though he's not sure if maybe-probably-not-girlfriends count as friends too when you're in high school.

"D'you like it?" she'd asked once she'd noticed him staring, holding up her wrist and not seeming to care as ice cream dribbled down her spoon and fingers.

"It's nice," Martin had said, because he's nothing if not honest. "Did you make it?"

She'd nodded. "It's a bi flag," she'd explained. "I'm bisexual."

"Oh," Martin had said.

"You know what that is, right?" she had asked. "Like, when you like boys and girls?"

"I know," Martin had said, even if it had maybe slipped his memory until she'd brought it up. "That's cool."

And then she'd nodded, and ate her ice cream, and Martin had taken her home with as little a fanfare as he had picked her up earlier that evening. And then winter break had rolled around, and she'd been put in another class the following semester, and then life and bills had finally caught up with him and there wouldn't be another semester after that. He'd never seen her again, so he'd never got a chance to ask. Never got a chance to choke down that knot in his throat when he'd left her house that evening, unable to get the words out.

He doesn't remember her name anymore, but he does remember the jealous ache he'd felt at her certainty.

Martin's first boyfriend is definitely gay.

That's how they meet each other, really — in a gay bar, where Martin has met plenty of other men (testing the waters, he's been telling himself; no harm in a little exploration) and gone home with them, except this one asks for his number afterward, and this one calls him back, and this one actually seems to want to go out for drinks the next week, and the week after that, and before Martin knows it he's quite certain that he's dating this man. It's wonderful, whirlwind of an experience. It's exhilarating.

It's bloody terrifying.

And it's not being with a man that sets his anxiety on edge. Martin...Martin likes men. That's definitely a part of his identity that he's been able to sort out, over the years. Martin likes men, and he likes dating men, and he likes having sex with men, and he'd probably even marry a man, if he had the chance, if that's where one of these loose and languid relationships end up.

It's just—

It's just that—

It's just that Martin always seems to be the odd one out in these groups. It's just that when Martin meets up with his boyfriend's friends at the bar, when they're all laughing and sharing jokes and clinking their drinks together in some toast that Martin had missed the dedication to, they all just...get it somehow. They know who they are. They all have some special word for themselves that fits them like a tailored suit: Jacklyn is a butch lesbian, and Lee is trans, and Tom is a bear, and Jordan is gay and genderqueer and Collin is a drag performer and—

He's a few drinks in, to put it lightly, when he leans over to his definitely-boyfriend and asks him how he knew he was gay.

"How did I know?" he echoes, taking a sip from his fizzy drink. "Easy, I liked men." And then he laughs like Martin has just told a funny joke, and maybe he has and doesn't realize it, so he tries to laugh along. Tries to ignore the ache in his chest.

Martin wishes it were that simple. And when the two of them break up, Martin wishes that he ached just as badly over the relationship too.

Tim and Sasha are bi. Well, no, Tim is bi, and Sasha is—

"Pansexual," Sasha says through a mouthful of reheated spaghetti. She holds a finger up as she chews, swallows, and then adds, "Well, I mean. It's like the same genus, I guess."

"Like a leopard and a cheetah," Tim chimes in, leaning over to put an arm around her shoulders. She puts a hand against the side of his face to put some space between them, knocking his glasses askew.

"Leopards and cheetahs are different genuses," she tells him. "You're thinking of leopards and jaguars."

"Nuh uh."

"Uh huh."

"Nuh uh nuh uh—"

"Uh huh uh huh uh huh—"

And it's—

He likes Tim and Sasha. They're easy to exist around. They don't make him feel like he's not welcome at the end of the lunch table, or like he has to be anything more than simply himself in their presence. Call it bonding over the shared trauma of all being trapped down here together. Tim's jokes about Jon never letting them see the sun are starting to feel less like jokes these days, and more like statements of fact.

Then Tim leans over, seating his chin in his knuckles, and says, "So, Martin, you going to pride this year?"

And then all of those nice, floaty feelings suddenly come crashing out of solution and dropping down into the pit of his stomach. It must show on his face, because Tim's smile falls as he backpedals.

"O-or not!" he says, holding his hands up peaceably. "I mean— geez, sorry, I usually think I'm pretty good at noticing these things, but if you're not—"

"What? Oh, no no, you're fine, I'm definitely—" There's something on the tip of Martin's tongue that he can't put a word to, hasn't been able to put a word to for a long time. "...not straight. Er, I— I like...guys, at least...?"

A smile curls across Tim's face — amused, but not cruel. "Hey, that's at least one thing we've got in common," he says and holds up his fist for a bump. The spark of anxiety hasn't quite fizzled away, but it's pushed far enough down that Martin feels he can humor him.

To his equal relief and horror, Jon strolls into the room not a minute later and sticks himself firmly in the crosshairs of Tim's sights.

"Boss-man," he greets.

"Tim," Jon greets back, neutrally. He strolls over to the kitchenette, digging out a tea bag out of the cabinet.

"Are you going to pride this year?"

Martin chokes on his drink.

"No," Jon says, retrieving a tea bag and filling his mug as if Tim had simply asked him about the weather.

"C'mon," Tim purrs. He reaches over and gives Jon a tug by his belt loops. "You're just gonna sit at home all weekend and leave us to have all the fun?"

"I don't particularly find crowds 'fun,'" Jon retorts, batting away his hand. He picks up his mug. "You'll have to suffer without me."

"How will we ever go on," Tim laments.

"You'll manage," Jon says, then promptly retreats to his office.

Martin simply sits there with his mouth hanging open, only daring to speak once he hears the final click of the door pulled shut. "...Jon...?"

Tim looks over to him, eyebrow quirked. "What?"

"Jon."

"Oh." A smirk tugs at the corner of Tim's lips. "You didn't know?"

"Wh— no!" It's not even that Martin has ever really assumed that Jon is straight. It's just that, out of people in the office to be open about their sexualities, there's Tim and Sasha, and then there's Jon. It's just— it's Jon. "Did he tell you that?"

Tim shoots a look to Sasha. "Well, no," he admits, "but you know how it is, you work with someone long enough and you just sort of...get a vibe, yeah?"

Sasha nods at this assessment. "Plus the fact that he did agree to go on a date with David that one time."

"Oh god, haha! I forgot about that."

"He's gay, right?" Sasha says, looking to Tim.

"I'm pretty sure he mentioned an ex-girlfriend once," Tim notes, poking his fork into his salad. "Bi, maybe...? I'm going to go with bi."

"Could also be pan," Sasha notes.

Tim thinks on this for a moment. "Mm, no, definitely bi I think. My bi-dey senses are tingling. Sorry Sash," he concludes, earning him a light kick to the shin from Sasha at the pun. He shoves a forkful of salad in his mouth before redirecting his attention back to Martin. "So, Martin. Pride, yay or nay?"

"Uh—" Martin blinks, viscerally aware of himself once more. He's not sure how to put I've never really thought about going into so many words that doesn't make him sound incredibly lame or formerly catholic, so in the end he decides on a redirect. He clears his throat. "I'm...not sure? Haven't really decided."

"That's fine," Tim says with a half shrug. "Though we'll be there, so if you do end up going, just text us and we'll meet up, yeah?"

There's a little plant inside Martin, something green and budding, but never able to bloom — always pruned too early, or watered too late, or bitten off by the frost. But some days, he thinks about opening the curtains and letting in the sun. Some days, he thinks about letting it bloom, finally, fully—

"Yeah," Martin says softly, looking up from his open palms. "Yeah, that'd...that'd be good."

And despite himself, he smiles.

Martin is—

Martin is quite certain he has never been sweatier in his life.

It's a wonderful time. It's bright. It's beautiful. He's seen so many colors and grins and glitter on more people than he can count today. People holding hands and people kissing and people dressed in outfits he can't even begin to describe, genders he can't even begin to put names to, flags he can't even begin to guess the meaning of. His heart feels so big in his chest he could die, pushing on the bars of his rib cage with each resounding thu-thump, and it's wonderful, wonderful, wonderful—

(And so very isolating. So very lonely when he feels like he's not meant to be there, like he wasn't invited, like he's invading this space carved out in neat rows of labels that he can't even straddle properly to get in line. He doesn't— he can't—)

Martin finds a moment of shade just as he feels he's teetering on the edge of heat exhaustion. He stumbles under the awning, smearing the sweat and residual glitter out of his eyes as he leans his head back against the wall. Music hums from the street over, voices carry on the warm summer air. He really needs to find something to drink, so he can appreciate it more instead of focusing on the way his shirt clings to his skin. He really should find Tim and Sasha, before they get off into any trouble.

Someone lets out a huff next to him as they lean back against the wall, and Martin peels open an eye to look.

And then both his eyes snap open at once, double taking at the man standing next to him. He doesn't seem to notice him at first, too focused on fanning himself with some pamplet he'd snagged along the way, but then his gaze shifts sideways, and the pinched expression smooths out into one of blank bewilderment.

Jon blinks, wide eyed. "Martin."

Okay, well that at least solves the issue of whether or not Martin is supposed to be pretending not to know him or not. He clears his throat, trying to smile. "Jon...h-hi."

It's not even the fact that— okay, well, yes, seeing Jon at a queer event is pretty weird, but seeing Jon outside of work, in jeans no less, is certainly not helping the sensation that Martin might very well be hallucinating this interaction. He looks him up to his thick-lensed glasses, down to his plain sneakers that have seen better days, and even pinches himself for good measure. Jon doesn't move. Martin isn't sure that he himself would be able to move either, even if he wanted to.

Then Jon's brow furrows, and he looks around. "Are Tim and Sasha around...?"

"Oh, n-no, they went off," Martin gestures vaguely in the direction he'd last seen them, "somewhere."

"Ah."

"Mm."

"Right."

"...What...are you doing here, exactly?" Martin finally asks in some burst of unsourced courage.

Jon's winces, red-handed. Not that Martin would ever say anything to Tim or Sasha about their boss going to pride without them on his own time — it's honestly none of his business — but he also knows that if the two of them suspect something is up, they'll never let either of them live it down.

Jon sighs, shoulders drooping. "I...an old friend, she— she didn't wish to come alone this year, and apparently I'm the only other queer she knows that doesn't enjoy getting plastered off my arse at these types of events, so—" Jon shrugs lightly.

There's something about the way Jon says it, the only other queer, that leaves a funny, prickling sensation in the center of Martin's chest, and it's not just the heat giving him a rash. It's just...it's nice. It's nice the way he says it, all casual like he's just giving Martin another report to follow up.

Jon pushes the sweat-soaked hair from his forehead, giving Martin a sideways glance up and down. He redirects, "You know, I would have thought you'd be more, er..."

"More...?"

"...Well, dressed up, I suppose?" He gestures to Martin's outfit — a pair of khaki shorts with pockets stuffed to the brim in emergency snacks, a green t-shirt with the local football team logo, an old pair of sneakers he really needs to replace — in a vague enough gesture to slip just under the line of insulting, but still enough to make Martin feel horribly seen. Granted, Jon isn't much better in his plain blue polo, but the fact of Jon being in jeans at all is currently eclipsing the fact that he's a tad underdressed for the event.

But—

But it's not that Martin doesn't want to. It's not that Martin doesn't want to be a part of this moment, this moment, this microcosm in the middle of London of so many people like him. It's something he's always wanted. Something he's always dreamed of, something he'd thought about all the way back in his high school bedroom when he'd had all these feelings knotted up in his chest that he couldn't put a word to, still can't put a word to, doesn't know how to put a word to even though it's right there in front of him if he could just stretch out his fingers—

"I thought about it," he admits with a shrug. Tim and Sasha were each dressed in a blinding shower of color and glitter, and he knows they'd never make him feel out of place. "It's just...there's too many—" He stops, takes a deep breath, and tries to ignore the thumping of his heartbeat in his ears. "There's too many words, I guess?"

Jon pauses his lazy fanning, looking up at him. "Too many words?" he parrots.

Martin wets his lips. "Like— like— like, everyone has a word for themselves, y'know? They have a flag, they have a group, they have— have people that they can relate to, and then you feel like you find something that almost right, but it's not perfect, and you— you—"

And you don't fit in, Martin doesn't say, because the rushing stream of words has suddenly stopped up in his throat, choking him. And you definitely aren't straight, but you aren't queer like everyone else is. You aren't queer in the right way.

Jon looks at him for a considerable moment, and suddenly Martin is all too aware of his body, his bones, his sweat, the itchy prickling of his skin—

Jon sighs as he gives him a half shrug. "So don't be anything."

The music from the street over lulls into a faint hum.

"What?" Martin says.

"So don't be anything," Jon repeats, enunciating as if he thinks that Martin misheard him. He frowns as he chooses his next words. "I'm not...it's...I..."

Martin waits quietly.

"I..." Jon says, "I guess when I was just starting to— to figure things out, I was certain I was gay. And then I went to uni and I had...a multitude of other things to address, and then for a bit I was...straight? I guess? And that was a whole thing, and then I was bi, and— well, I guess I'm technically still bi, but it's not...not exactly correct—" He frowns, looking up at him. "I guess...it just doesn't really matter to me? You don't...have to be anything."

Martin opens his mouth. He closes it. "But—" he says, tongue feeling thick in his mouth, "but—"

But then I have to be me, he doesn't say, even if the words are trying to push out past his teeth. But then the only thing I can be is me.

"...But that's scary," Martin says without meaning to, only hearing the words as they pass through his own lips. His eyes blow wide as he looks down at Jon (at his boss), and knows the simmering heat flushing down to his chest has nothing to do with the weather.

Jon stares at him for a quiet, considerate. And then he turns his head away and lets out a very undignified snort.

Martin feels his world tip onto its side.

It had to be a snort. It can only be a snort, even if Jon doesn't snort because Jon doesn't laugh, and Jon doesn't laugh because Jon doesn't smile, and Jon doesn't smile because Jon is typically too busy snapping at him over some stupid mistake he's made for the umpteenth time—

Jon looks up at him again, and he's downright grinning. Martin is quite certain he needs to be doused over the head with a bucket of ice water, or pinched hard enough to draw blood, or sent off to the hospital to get his head checked out because what the fuck. What the fuck.

"As my grandmother was so fond of reminding me, 'if it weren't scary, everyone would be doing it,'" Jon says finally, peeling off his glasses to wipe the sweat from the lenses onto his shirt. He places them back on his nose, then pushes himself up. "You should find Tim and Sasha," he says. "And I should find Georgie before I get left here. Again."

"Uh," Martin says, still trying to mentally recover from the fact that Jon smiled at him, and now everything feels like its been knocked into an alternate universe slightly to the left. His head feels weird. His chest feels weird. "Right."

"There's a—" Jon points a thumb behind himself, "a place we can cut through, if you want to—"

"Oh. Oh, yeah! Yeah, lead— lead the way."

It's not perfect, Martin thinks.

It's not perfect, but it's close. It's close when they step out of the alley back onto that crowded street, when the colors all bleed into a mess of a million different rainbows as far as the eye can see. It's close when they both get sprayed with glitter, Jon scowling and swearing as he tries to get it off himself and sending Martin laughing so hard that his sides ache. It's close even with the heat, even with the noise, even with the shouting because there's laughter in between laughter in between laughter again—

"Would you like a button?" a girl with green hair asks as she sits behind a table of every flag Martin has ever seen and then some. He takes a moment to look over each one carefully. Jon wanders up beside him, looks them through, and carefully selects a pink, purple, and blue one, to which he silently deposits in his pocket.

Martin picks up a plain rainbow one, considers it, and then pins it to the left side of his shirt.

It's not perfect, he thinks, but it's close enough.

[milkywaydrabbles]

Rindou loves fingering you. 

He loves how creamy you get his fingers, how two fingers is enough to throw you over the edge. He loves how he can control your body just how he wants it, how he can edge you over and over again without having to break a sweat, just with his hands. He loves how, if he tries a little harder, he can have you squirting all over him, juicy pussy making a mess, he loves how sloppy he can get you. Haitani Rindou’s a nasty man when it comes to you, he can keep you underneath him forever. Rindou will finger you whenever he can--in his car, out at a club or bar, when he’s on the phone, hell even when you’re on the phone. (He thinks his favorite is whenever you have to keep it together, pretend like he’s not finger fucking you in public.) He loves the sticky feeling of you cumming on his fingers, how you suck them back in, how when he spreads them out your cum creates a webbing between them. He really, really, can’t get enough of it. Sometimes he prefers that over fucking you with his dick. It’s rare, but sometimes, he’ll do it. Just fuck you over and over again on his fingers until he has you crying to stop--and then keep going. 

Tonight, he thinks is one of those nights. 

Rindou’s had you under him already for the last hour, hearing how nasty your cunt is, squelching and creaming around him. You're sniffling, tears streaming down your face as he pulls another orgasm out of you just with his fingers. "Baby, you look so fucking good just like this." He coos, pulling his fingers out with a squish, and laughs. "Love fucking you on my fingers baby, n so fucking juicy" he's talking to himself, enamored with looking between your legs and seeing the mess you've made for him. Rindou is dipping his hand between your thighs again, pushing the same two fingers back into your wet heat and adding a third, and you whine. "R-Rin, so full, fuck." Your face is hot, body covered in a sheen of sweat and all you can do is lay there with your legs open and take it. When he's in one of his moods he won't stop until he gets it out of his system, which means sometimes you end up sweaty and sticky and overstimulated for hours under him. "You can take my fingers, right pretty girl?" And you nod, squirming as he slowly pumps his three fingers into your sloppy cunt, seeing your cum oozing around his hand and pooling in his palm. 

He's hard, painfully so, but he can't seem to care about his own hard on when he's got his little baby crying like that. His free hand wipes away a stray tear, while the other starts fucking into you quicker, curling his fingers up to hit that gummy part of your walls that has you crying even more. "Rin, m'so close, please, please—!" You're begging, pleading with him to let you cum. You think it's too much, especially with each last one he pulls out of you. But he proves you wrong over and over again with each buildup and you crave it each time. It feels like you can't breathe without him letting you catch that high again. Stronger than any drug he could have given you. "Give it to me baby, come on you can do it." He works you through it, hitting exactly where you need it each time he fucks up into you. Your orgasm hits you like a freight train, it has you crying and shaking and grabbing at Rindou's arm like some saving grace. Electricity shot through your veins, your nerves on fire as he ripped another orgasm out of you. You babbled away as your juices covered him again, and he could only smile as you shook. "Good girl, such a good girl" he would praise, leaning down while still stuffing your cunt full of him and kissing your face, smothering you in affection to distract you with how overstimulated you're feeling. "My pretty baby is doing so well" Rindou's fingers stilled for a moment, and taking the time to make sure you were cognisant enough to give a real answer when he looked into your eyes and asked: "do you trust me?" You sniffed and nodded, but he simply clicked his tongue. " I need you to answer with words baby. Do you trust me?" It almost concerned you how serious he was being knuckles deep in your pussy, but you answered anyways. "Yes Rindou, I trust you." Your voice was shaky, and hoarse with how much you've been crying, but you trusted him with your life.

Slowly, Rindou added a fourth finger into your abused cunt, and it felt like your lungs were stuffed full of bricks. You choked back a sob, eyes rolling to the back of your head and you bit your lower lip to stop yourself from screaming. It was overwhelming, feeling 4 of his fingers stuffing into your now swollen pussy, curving into themselves to make a point inside of you. Rindou twisted his wrist, hearing the messy sounds coming from your hole, seeing you dripping and oozing onto the mattress below you. He stayed a slow pace, feeling all the small bumps and ridges of your pussy up against his fingers. "It's okay baby, I got you, I got you" he'd whisper, repeating himself over and over while you caught your breath. You never stopped trembling from your last orgasm, teetering on the edge with each lazy thrust Rindou gave. You couldn't speak, broken phrases and words spilling from your mouth as he quickened his pace. Rindou's breathing got heavy, pupils dilated and zeroed in on your cunt sucking in his fingers with each thrust. You were doing so well for him, while he played with you, stretched you out the most he's ever done. He kept whispering so nicely to you, how good you were, how pretty you were with his fingers stuffed inside your sloppy pussy, how much he loved you. Your head was spinning, you were fucked dumb already and Rindou was making it so hard to even think for just a second. "Fuuuck, baby—making such a mess on my fingers, love you so much, you got another one in you right?" You were panting, nodding furiously with your eyes locked onto his. He didn't even need to curl his fingers with how well he was hitting all the right spots—pumping harder in and out and in and out of your mess of a hole, and before you could wrap your head around it you were squirting, covering him in your essence. You heard a laugh, though your eyes were unable to focus at all. "Fuck, baby! So fucking pretty when I got you squirting like that." It sounded like a tease, but you knew he meant it. He told you all the time, he loved how your face would scrunch up during the build up, and letting go with pretty pouty lips making an o shape, tears falling at the corners of your mouth. (He even recorded it once, so you can see how pretty you looked.) 

"I got you baby, it's okay, you can let go." He whispered, closer to your face now than he was just moments before—kissing your forehead as you practically convulsed in his arms. His fingers were pulled out, along with your cum that dripped from his digits. A trembling hand latched on to his shirt, unable to control yourself in this moment and just cried. Giving yourself to him fully was such an intimate experience for you, that you couldn't help but sob in his arms afterwards. He'd hush you with gentle words, smoothing over your hair with his clean hand and kissing your temple. "You did so good for me, pretty girl—I love you." You stutter out that you love him too and latch onto him more.

He’ll take good care of you after that.

[mielkae]

Flower ranchers has my whole heart but consider

Scott and Tango becoming besties over a shared love of Jimmy

like, they start out awkward. They've never shared a server, never even teamed during the death games. They know each other purely through reputation and the chance of being a part of the same giant friend group. To tango, scott's the husband jimmy was always talking about during double life, he won the second death game and has been a consistent finalist. On top of that he has a reputation for loyalty, he's carismatic, genuinely a nice guy and did he mention the part where he's jimmy's husband???

to scott, tango is a friend of a friend. Apparently a brilliant redstoner, though he always came off as humble to him. He's the guy whose hair sparks when he's excited who's always hanging around impulse and skizz. scott's pretty sure they've never had a one on one conversation until this point.

Then double life happens.

And suddenly tango's the soulmate. the guy his husband hasn't been able to shut up about, not that scott minds. and he learns things about tango he never would have known otherwise, how he's sweet, and considerate, and really, really funny. How he has such a nice laugh, and yeah, scott's never really noticed it before but it's bright and kind of contagious and so evidently tango.

and scott tells jimmy to go for him.

I don't think tango and scott would interact much even after they're both dating jimmy.

Like they never saw each other outside the death games, and besides those times when scott walks jimmy to the hermitcraft portal where tango is waiting to guide him through, they still don't really see each other.

(Watching the loves of his life awkwardly wave as he passes between them, jimmy feels a bit like a kid with divorced parents before his weekend at Dad's.)

Then they're in limited life.

the funny thing is, it isn't even jimmy who brings them together, not intentionally at least.

Tango tries not to be mad about it. its just that the Lore latches onto Jimmy's "bad boy" bit, and he knows it's not his fault. He's part of a story right now, and his mind's not entirely his own.

it still hurts like hell though.

And it's a stupid idea. They aren't even allies, but tango's angry and hurt and his boyfriend won't even look at him. But there's one person on this server who might get it.

And right now that's what he needs.

There's a possibility, he knows, as he approaches the Mean Gills' island, that someone (probably martyn) will kill him.

He can't really bring himself to care. He wants out of this game, has since Jimmy first started giving him the cold shoulder.

To his credit, Scott doesn't even look surprised to see him.

They end up talking for hours.

"he wouldn't-" Scott swallows roughly, "he wouldn't say "i love you" back"

"i know," tango says quietly. "he wouldn't say it to me either."

Scott looks at him for a long moment, then swipes at his tears and turns his head. Tango's never seen him look so lost.

"the sun's gonna be up soon," Scott says. "the session will be starting. You should get to TIES tower. I can't promise you'll be safe here much longer."

He nods. The others will be worried for him. They know how badly he just wants to go home.

"Come visit me again?" Scott asks. And there's something there. Something there hadn't been before.

"yeah," he says. "yeah, sure."

[rottingcheng]

in my chengxian feels ruminating on how they precariously complete each other. criticism on jc for not doing more to help the wens (which i personally don't agree w) and criticism on wwx for not having better political self-awareness (which i am on the fence about). but i'm thinking of how, to create change within a system, you need both types of people. people who can work within the game and negotiate it, and people who aren't afraid to step up and shake things up, even disastrously. if not for the circumstances (golden core) they might have been an incredibly formidable duo. still, precarious. but something that could make sense. something that could teeter and seesaw and change things so long as they both reigned each other in and loved each other and those they are responsible for.

[mommysmilk]

Word for ren drabbles: ruined

🔪Ren Hana x Reader🔪

”You’re fucking crazy! Don’t touch me!” You screamed while trying to kick your captor. He jumped out of the way, growling, his ears flattening against his head.

”It’s been weeks. I’ve given you my love, fed you and treated your wounds, what more could you want?” the fox sighed, agitated.

”The wounds you inflicted on me, you psycho! I don’t want your fucking lov-” ”DON’T SAY THAT!” He screamed and pressed the button that sent shocks through your whole body. You screamed in pain, slumping on the floor. ”You were supposed to love me! I just wanted to feel loved. He loved me.”

”I’ll never love you. I’d rather die than love someone like you.” You coughed out, still on floor.

”Shut up. SHUT UP! YOU’VE RUINED IT. YOU RUINED IT ALL.” Ren started pacing around while tugging at his hair. ”You’d rather die than love me.” He muttered under his breath. ”Well fine then.”

You flinched as he took off into the direction of the kitchen. He was back in less than a minute, now holding a knife. Your eyes widened in fear. ”What are you doing? Don’t come any closer!” You started panicking. His face was completely different, teeth bared and eyes narrowed into slits. You almost missed the look of ”adoration” he had on before.

”I’m just giving you what you want.” He charged at you and you tried to scramble back but you weren’t quick enough. The knife stabbed straight into your heart.

The last thing you heard was the slick sound of the knife pulling out of your chest.

[alexluminosbucket]

another feesh au for dca!! yum yum With a fic that is to be coming soon "H20 Please No More Water"

[foldingfittedsheets]

Does anyone want to hear how I ended up using soap made of my betrothed's exes breast milk?

[legendary-cookies]

I've been working on this on and off for like a long time and honestly I kinda hate it now, but this is like a revamp of these but with the Beasts too lmao

This also has a headcanon I have of if the Legends had virtues like the Ancients and Beasts

Also yes I'm aware Fire and Moon might fit more if they switched but I have lore reasons leave me alone

[jellywalker-apocalypse]

HOW DOES A JESTER DREAM ?

[cranberry-writes]

Dating Headcannons for The Boys characters!

Please send requests, i need motivation

Characters listed; Hughie, Butcher, M.M, Frenchie, Kimiko

Warnings; Mentioned drinking and cannon typical violence/language. Also i’m barely on season 2 please bear with me

Hughie;

- He’s so so sweet about your relationship

- He gets you flowers for no reason other than he saw them and thought you’d like them

- He has thousands of reminders so he won’t forget anything, from a drink you liked to your anniversary he will have it written down.

- Later on in the series he gets protective and cautious about the relationship, scared someone (homelander) will mess it up by hurting you

- He’ll probably push you away a bit to try and protect you but after you knock some sense into him he’ll be back to normal

- Loves park/library dates, going on a picnic during the summer and to the library when it’s to cold out.

- He will do so much for you (flowers, gifts, dates etc) and insist it’s nothing but will cry (happy tears) if you do the same

- Don’t get me wrong tho, he’s still a bad ass (sometimes). He just dosnt want you to think differently of him because of it, he’s hurt people, killed people, and he honestly isn’t too keen on focusing on it. Even if you two are in the same line of work.

- And if you two don’t work together he tries to keep his ‘work’ life and dating life separate, very separate.

“You’ve never told me what you do for work, maybe i could stop by and meet your co-workers.”

“Uh, actually, i don’t think that’ll work.”

“Why not? is everything ok there or something?”

“I-, uhm, work alone, so i don’t even have coworkers for you to meet really, it’s really boring infact you’d probably fall asleep just from me talking about it hahaha.”

- You find out like two days later

Butcher;

- Little shit

- I mean that affectionately

- His pet names will range anywhere from “Darlin’” to “Fucker” and i WILL stand by it

- He’ll probably introduce you to his work before he does his dog

- But his dog is the big ticket, you meeting Terror is essentially his way of proposing before proposing

- He’s protective but not in the “i’ll watch your every move” more in the “im teaching you how to use every weapon to ever exist” way

- Honestly work would probably come before you for a while before he sucks it up and actually makes an effort

- Dates will be at the most shity bar imaginable, unless he’s apologizing for something then he’ll take you to the nicest place he can and put on a suit. (it’s the Cheese Cake factory and he’s wearing a Hawaiian shirt under his jacket but he’s trying)

- Unlike Hughie he will introduce you to his work at some point, granted it would still be a while before he did but he would at some point.

- He’s sweet in his own way

“Darlin’, look what i got ya.” And it’s a Garfield shirt a size to big but you still wear it anyways

MM;

- Definition of husband material

- remembers anything and everything after being told one time

- makes you baths with rose petals and candles and all that stuff if you mention you’ve been tired lately

- Takes you out to the movies and a nice restaurant at least twice a month

- Good gods he’s sweet to you

- He knows how to cook/bake and will make stuff for you all the time

- My guy will make a meal from your culture and practice making it almost daily just to give you a taste of home.

- He really loves back massages and cuddling after a long day

- Put on some crappy reality show for background noise and nap together

- He wants you as far away as humanly possible from his work, will literally say shit like “everyone at work has the plague you can’t visit” as a joke to try and change the subject

- Chances are you won’t find out

- His favorite flowers are tulips and nothing will change my mind about it

“Baby what are these?”

“Tulips, I bought them from a street market on 11th today. They’re your favorite, right?”

“Gods, sweetheart you’re perfect.”

Frenchie;

- When you two meet you both think it’s just going to be a one night stand

-…then it’s two nights, then three, then a week, then you start spending more time at his place than your own. One day you guys just realize you’re moved in and dating

“Are we dating?”

“…Was there anything else we could be mon cœur?”

- honestly i don’t think you two would get together if you weren’t working together, or at least you were also into some shady shit

- But overall you guys have a strong relationship, one gets hurt the other kills someone, someone is hungry the other is already cooking, stuff like that

- He also cooks but it’s only french food, it’s like a super power. He can cook any french food effortlessly but literally anything else he messes up

- If you are french he’ll be super happy someone else will appreciate the same stuff in a similar way

- If not then he’ll be happy to share stuff with you, teach you some french words and tell you about stuff he grew up with

- Honestly he’s just happy someone (other than Kimiko) will listen and take an interest

Kimiko

-I have a confession to make, Kimiko is my favorite and i have a very blatant bias towards her

- Kill anyone you want bby i don’t care ill always like you

- Anyways, It probably takes you a while to get close enough to her that she’ll consider dating you

- Once y’all get to that point i don’t think you could break it tho

- I think she would like constant minimal physical contact, like hand holding or leaning on each other

- I think she’d be pretty protective over you, like someone looks at you wrong and she wants to maul them

- Learn sign language with/for her she will love it

- Draw with her, get her supplies, like those alcohol markers i’m sure she’ll love them

- Honestly i don’t think she’d be big on pet names, she wouldn’t object to it but i don’t think she’d give you one first

- Cook for her, i just think it would be sweet and she deserves it

“I got you some of those markers you’ve been looking at for a while.”

Thank you, this is nice

- Please she’s perfect i love her

[milkteamoon]

Jon doesn’t think he has a fear of doors — entamaphobia, or whatever you call it (and yes, it’s a thing, he’s done more than a few simple google searches about the subject). It’s not that doors themselves are particularly the issue here. They’re just wood, they’re not a particularly terrifying shape, they’re not going to grow teeth and try to eat people like they did in that one movie he’d watched with Georgie years ago, and he’s not an agoraphobe. Or a claustrophobe. Or any other type of -phobe that is seemingly linked to fear of doors, which he doesn’t have, mind you, because it’s not the door itself.

Georgie had once asked if it had something to do with the uncertainty. Something about “not knowing what’s on the other side”; something with a simple cause and a simple answer. He’d had to explain it to her a bit after she’d found him standing outside of her flat near midnight, just the same as he’d been doing for the past two hours, all because he couldn’t bring himself to raise his goddamn fist and knock like a normal person; of course, that hadn’t been the first time, but he doesn’t tell her that. He doesn’t tell her about sleeping in the hallway as a child after the wind had blown his bedroom door closed when he’d gone for water. About missing so many classes in high school they’d called his grandmother, because his teacher kept closing the door before he’d get there. About having to go buy new clothes because he couldn’t bear to open his fucking closet after he’d accidentally knocked the door shut, and god does he know just how irrational he sounds. It’s stupid that he’s like this. It’s downright ridiculous. And yet... and yet, and yet, and yet —

So: when Jon moves in, he gets his own key to their flat. Mr. Spider’s doors don’t have locks, he tells himself, so Mr. Spider can’t come in. That makes sense, right? If Jon has rules, then so does Mr. Spider. If Jon has a key, then he doesn’t have to knock, and if he doesn’t have to knock, then Mr. Spider can’t come through. Georgie keeps the rest of the doors open — when he’s home, at least — and Jon thinks he must be the only person in the world who feels safer seeing the darkened living room from their bed.

When Jon moves out, he takes his key with him and trades it in for a new studio flat. Less doors, you see, nothing but the bathroom and the closet, both of which he wedges open with a cheap pack of rubber doorstops; it’s easier if he can see in. If he can see into the room before he pulls the door open, then Mr. Spider can’t be hiding inside, right? It makes sense. He knows it does.

He gets a new job and starts waking up at six in the morning just so he can get there when most of the other employees arrive, so he can rush through with them or catch some poor sap’s eye who hangs behind long enough to hold the door for him, just to be polite. Jon acts polite back and tells them thank you. He always waits until he’s seen at least three go inside, because he knows Mr. Spider takes his meals in small portions. It makes sense. It has to. If he was so hungry, then he’d have taken Jon too all those years ago, and not just maybe-Daniel-Michael-Thomas as his lonely guest for dinner. Is he still there, he wonders sometimes, seated at Mr. Spider’s table? Jon doesn’t know. He doesn’t dare to find out.

He likes his job. He likes his coworkers. He likes his desk with no walls, dumped in the middle of a messy bullpen. He likes Mr. Bouchard, he thinks, strange as he is, who keeps his office door open so that Jon doesn’t have to knock when he goes to him for questions. “Open door policy,” he’d mentioned once during Jon’s training, and nodded at him like he Knew some secret between them. Jon knows that Mr. Bouchard doesn’t. That doesn’t stop him from being grateful.

And then...

And then — 

And then Jon gets a promotion.

Jon moves out of research. Jon gets rid of his old desk. Jon gets a new office — a private one, Mr. Bou- er, Elias, ensures him cheerfully — one where he won’t be disturbed during work, because this office comes with a door. An old door. One that creaks something awful when it’s first pushed open, and no amount of rubber stoppers will stop it from closing on its own. How professional, Jon wants to laugh, but he knows it will come out like a sob. How ridiculous that he’s tried so hard, and yet he always seems to end up at square one.

And the thing is? Jon knows it’s just a door.

Of course he does. He’s not stupid. It’s- it’s just a door — just wood and metal and oil for the hinges — there’s nothing special about it, there’s nothing he can’t see on the other side through the little window that displays the rest of the bullpen. He says that he’ll manage. He thanks Elias for the opportunity. He can’t very well turn down a promotion just because his new office has a bloody door on it, no matter how much that childhood instinct screams at him to run away, get away, get far enough away.

The window helps, for the most part, but he still tells his assistants not to knock. Cites something stupid about how it will ruin his recordings if they do. They seem to buy it just fine and get in the habit of simply coming in when they need him — or at least, Tim and Sasha do. Martin, of course, forgets this rule about a week after Jon tells them, and Jon’s certain the panic attack he gives him is justification enough to have the man transferred back to the library. If Jon could report him about it. Could admit that the half hour he spends in the restroom afterwards is because he’s trying not to throw up from terror and not because he just ate something bad, but he realizes who sounds like the irrational one here.

So he manages.

He manages.

It’s simple if he breaks it down. There are steps and rules and lines that he doesn’t cross. That Mr. Spider doesn’t cross. They have an agreement, he thinks, to some extent, because while Jon didn’t invite himself to dinner all those years ago, he still invited someone. That makes sense, doesn’t it? It makes sense. An old favor. Don’t knock. Don’t open the door. Don’t knock. Don’t open. Don’t knock. Don’t — 

Someone’s knocking on his office door.

A crisp, simple knock knock, just like anyone would do before a closed door. A common courtesy. A meaningless gesture. A chance for him to open on his own time, if he’s busy, but that doesn’t stop the jolt of ice from shooting up his spine.

Jon knows it isn’t his assistants. He knows, he can see them, all sitting at their desks shuffling through papers and boxes like he’d told them. No, it’s Elias at his door, with his neatly tailored suit and wristwatch that he checks as he waits. He can’t see Jon, but Jon can see him. Just like Jon can’t see Mr. Spider, but Mr. Spider can see him. Funny how that works, isn’t it? Doesn’t really make much sense.

The knock comes again, two quick raps, and Jon has a choice to make. It’s Elias at the door, not Mr. Spider. He stands up. He walks over. He places his hand on the knob. It’s Elias behind it. He can see this. He knows this.

The thing is, Jon’s never been afraid of the door itself.

The thing is, he thinks Mr. Spider knows this too.

Jon opens the door.

Elias looks up, meets his eyes, and then smiles.

“Ah, Jonathan,” he says pleasantly, “just came to see how you’re settling in.”

[milkywaydrabbles]

They already asked for breeding and dubcon separately, with Alucard and I wanted to ask for the same thing but both Indications for the same Alucard Castlevania. If it's not possible anymore, I still liked the ones you made. You have talent!

A/N: breeding and dubcon for Alucard equals babytrapping in my head, so that's kind of the direction I went with this! I hope this is okay, and that you enjoy!! MWUAH

Dubcon/breeding x Alucard

“Nng, Alucard wait--aah.” The dhampir had you pressed into the bed, face smothered within the pillows as he plowed into you from behind. His fangs were dripping with saliva, dragging against your skin. Alucard was already too far gone as he fucked you, hands gripping at your wrists with his entire body covering yours. “Don’t you love me, darling? Don’t you want me happy?” He’d taunt you, knowing you couldn’t say no to him. You’ve never been able to say no to him, not when he saved you from a life of torture and being used as a blood bag from a small collective of vampires. How could you say no to your savior, the one who lets you stay in his big castle, keeps you fed and clothed and bathed? 

Alucard tried hard, he really did, to not let his lust for you consume him. But it was so difficult, when you kept telling him you’d thank him in any way, begging him to let you do something for him. It was so hard, to not take you then and there, instead slowly building up to the perfect moment to capture your lips. He’d give you small and slow touches here and there, fingers lingering longer than they had to, eyes roaming your body so obviously he saw the heat settle on your features. He’d capture your lips one night, letting you feel in control, just this once, asking for a taste of your blood as you rode him in his bed. You nodded, exposing your neck to him as he drank--enough to get you lightheaded, but keeping you alive all the same. He fucked you harder after that, now understanding why those vampires wanted to keep you for themselves. It was the best meal he’d ever had--he didn’t drink blood, rather disliked the taste if he was being honest--but you were different.

He’d never let you go after that.

You whimpered under him, but pushed back to his thrusts as best you could, forcing himself deeper into your hole. “So good for me, sweetheart--making me so fucking happy.” He growled in your ear, feeling you clench around him with each sweet word that dripped from his tongue. He licked and suckled at the juncture of your neck that always stayed bruised with how often he fed from you. “You don’t mind if I indulge in your blood, do you my love?” You whined, but exposed yourself further to him, wincing when you felt his fangs pierce through your skin. You’ve learned that it hurts less while he fucks you, though the pain still throbs your veins after. 

Alucard leans back on his knees and brings you up with him, hands exploring the span of your body, finding purchase on your tits as he thrusts in and out of your pussy. “So good to me, always letting me do as I please, what a good girl.” He would whisper to you, to keep you riled up and feel you tighten around his cock some more. He slowed just enough to grind into you, pressing you deep onto his dick, nearly kissing at your cervix with his length. You whined against him, hands flexing as you gripped onto nothing. “Do you know what would make me the happiest, my sweet girl?” He teased, fingers pinching at your nipples as you gasped.

“Let me make you a mother, darling.” 

Your eyes flew open (when had you closed them?) and you felt panic shooting up your nerves. “Alucard, I-I don’t think I’m ready for tha--aah, fuck!” He began bucking his hips harder into yours again, hands coming down to hold onto your hips and fuck you down to meet him. One hand trailed back up, fingers wrapping around your throat cutting off most of your breathing as you were pounded from behind. “Of course you’re ready, you take care of me so well already--you’ll be a wonderful mother. I know you will.” He cooed, licking over the still bleeding wound of your neck. 

It was hard to argue with him, not when he was so kind to you outside of the bedroom, not when he spoke so sweetly to you as he fucked you so well. How could you argue, when he never asked anything of you, except to make you a mother? “You’ll let me, right darling?” He wasn’t really asking, he’d do it anyways. He’d convince you later if he had to. But he didn’t need to, not when you were nodding and clenching around him--ready to milk him dry. He groaned, tightening on your throat as he humped into you like a dog, climbing closer and closer to release until he was spilling deep inside your cunt, praying it made it directly into your womb to catch. 

He would keep you plugged up, day in and day out after this. You’d never be able to leave now. Not when you carried his child, not when he would protect the both of you. You’d be his forever.

[mielkae]

First chapter of my Flower Court Fic is Out!

Summary:

Third Life hadn’t given Martyn what he’d wanted.

—

Jimmy resolves to start carrying makeup remover.

—

Tango's pretty sure his new boyfriend is dying.

—

Scott only knows one player who writes all his correspondence in orange glitter pen.

Alternatively: 3 times Scott’s friends and partners were too preoccupied to notice his crushes, and one time they realised he was in love.

Title from Crush by Tessa Violet

[rottingcheng]

Thinking of a ZC flavour where it's very windy out and LWJ's forehead ribbon is crooked, so SLJ carefully covers his hand with a handkerchief before adjusting it for him. JC's eyes glued to the ribbon while LWJ's eyes are glued to JC.

He's thinking: If it’s you, you can touch it. only you.

[mommysmilk]

Strawberry

🍓Fox x Reader🍓

(warning for mention of throwing up and general wound and scar talk yall know the drill)

”Wash these for me, darling. Don’t get your bandages wet.” He hands you a container of strawberries, your favorite kind. They’re red throughout and their sweet aroma is filling the kitchen. You’re tempted to reach out and pop one of the berries in your mouth, but his voice interrupts your thoughts. ”We don’t have all day, pet. You’re wasting water.”

You quickly apologize and start rinsing the strawberries under the running water, being careful to avoid the fresh bandages. Some blood is already seeping through the gauze, the cuts too deep to fully stop the bleeding. You’ve learned to love the scars he leaves on your body, even requesting for him to not stitch all of them up.

”I didn’t go too hard on you today right? You lost a lot of blood and still seem a bit out of it, sweetie.”

You grin down at him, finding his concern cute but unneccessary. ”You’ve done worse, Foxie~. Remember the time you made me eat your chicken hearts? I honestly thought you were going to kill me.”

He grimaces in disgust, ”Please don’t remind me, I can still smell the spot you threw up on.”

”I’m glad you started to give me strawberries for our movie nights after that.” You laugh while hopping down from the kitchen counter. You get a little dizzy from the sudden movement and have to lean on the countertop for support. He’s at your side immediately, taking the container of strawberries from your hand and helping you to the living room. You sigh in relief as you crash down on the couch. As much as you love your streams together, they’re still very taxing on your body.

After choosing a cd titled ”Guillotine” he inserts it into the player. It is one of your favorite streams of his. He sits down next to you, his tail curling around you while he starts the "movie". His hand caresses the heart shaped scar on your back and you snuggle closer to him when he starts feeding you the strawberries.

[alexluminosbucket]

Yoooo? ommggg? a real ao3 post?

the chapter i hope i can finish by the end of the week, but the plan is to do the minimum of 10k a chapter, so my update schedule may be wonky but it will be worth the wait!