#this is really out of norm for me to post but i really need to say this just to see your reactions
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relaxxattack · 1 year ago
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every time someone calls moirallegience just an alien qpr i wilt a lil like YEAH thats more or less the CLOSEST human thing but its also Literally Not That. like a qpr is fundanmentally not romantic and thats not even going into moirails whole Actual Purpose of calming ppl down. its just. aughhhhh pisses me off i see the confusion but, as aformentioned, aughhhhh
OH MY GOD THIS HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME TOO.... but i don't want to get petty at the people in my notes always saying "moirails are QPRs!" because in some ways that is the closest human thing so it's hard to be mad...
i think there's definitely some overlap in some ways. but NOT because moirallegiance and qprs are the same at all really, but INSTEAD because both relationships have unconventional boundaries defined by the people within them.
you know... like every relationship.
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like the only reason the two have overlap is because they are both partnerships that emotionally care for each other but can choose to not bang (which is true for any romance anyway, even if it's considered abnormal). they're both just romances* that are unconventional to human norms, which makes people view them as the same thing when they're not.
i think the REAL issue here is that humans insist on using human words to understand things that are just, fundamentally, alien. can't we just appreciate alien romance for being... alien romance?
no, it's not platonic, it's romantic. it's just romantic in a way you aren't quite wired to understand, is all.
*in generalization, most QPRs are not romantic, because they are made up of aroaces who are life partners in a non-romantic way. however i want to disagree with you that none of them are romantic, because that is up to the partners in question.
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bringcal · 2 years ago
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okay im finally going to say it because you all need to lose your minds as hard as we have. So being on here I've definitely gotten some interesting homestuck opinion messages, asks, and replies, but NOTHING tops the ask me and my friends call the " jeffrey dahmer dirk" ask.
Back in 2022, my bestfriend derek got an anon he never posted of someone saying their 'unpopular' opinion that dirk strider and jeffrey dahmer are alike and basically tried to argue that dirk might do what he did. They listed reasonings and everything they were NOT playing around. and they sent this to him as if he would agree that a FICTIONAL NERDY TEENAGER FROM HOMESTUCK and a REAL SERIAL KILLER THAT TOOK LIVES AND DESTROYED FAMILIES are the same.
We have completely lost our minds over this ask and it has cemented itself as the weirdest and worst thing ive EVER seen get said in the fandom ever. its essentially an inside reference me and my friends mention randomly because its burned into our memory as a " completely what never to send someone" example after reading it.
I don't know if my friend still has the screenshot, and if not its definitely floating in our dms, but if I do find it I wont post it because its as insensitive and ridiculous as you could imagine. But you NEED to know about this.
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remainingeden · 6 months ago
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am I the weird one for saying my power fantasies never involve men apologizing for doing something disrespectful in the misogynistic way? You can misbehave on purpose, you can ask for punishment because you feel you did something wrong, you can even give permission for me to do some behavioral correction, but my personal fantasies just never involve teaching a man to be respectful because I'm a woman. Gender is separate from biologic sex and shouldn't be what defines any kind of roles...
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e77y · 9 months ago
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Seriously need to make more friends or go outside more (both things are easier said than done) bc I am a little bit tired of relying on content creation for attention and connection :(
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bijesperfahey · 2 years ago
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Thinking about how Lark and Normal had such different reactions to what they saw on the throne and how ‘Larks’ entire monologue was about how it was all his fault, about how Lark blames himself for everything that has happened, and earlier in the series Sparrow refers to ‘what they did’ but Lark says it’s what he did
Thinking about how when Henry touches Lark on the throne he feels Love, Confusion, Betrayal, Sadness and Anger.
How Anthony says that he looks at Lark and sees sadness and self hatred in his eyes
How in Anthony’s monologue the Doodler specifically feels Lark’s self hatred and resentment. How it’s that that grows into the resentment for everything in the world.
It’s your fault and everything is bad- and it’s obviously not just the Doodler that feels that way
About how the Doodler looks at humanity as it’s dad, but also it resents humanity as much as it loves it and wants it’s validation
These flashhbacks are only a few years post season 1- sure he’s older but he is still a literal child being confronted by the weight of these emotions from an eldritch being that directly parallel so much of what he’s gone through and actively stem from the choices he made
Does he say they have to kill it because he knows what it’s like to feel this way? Because he knows what that rage and resentment feel like to him, a human being, and knows what it grew into for him, and can you imagine how much worse it is coming from the Doodler? They can’t risk not stopping it and the surest way to do that is to kill it?
Does he say it because killing the Doodler is the only way he’ll be able to forgive himself for releasing it? To make sure this can never happen again, by getting rid of it completely?
Or does he say it because he can’t imagine a way to help it? It’s just something he can’t comprehend, there’s no other way to end it, there is no happy ending.
And Normal now is the age that Lark was then, and he’s going through it too but in a completely different way! Normal is also dealing with a lot of incredibly complicated feelings, especially regarding his parental figures. He’s darker than he was at the start of the series, but all he wants is to be loved respected for who he is.
And maybe it makes a difference, but he has a support system that’s not just one person (Sparrow for Lark)! He has friends, and people to talk to and he still has so much hope for himself and compassion for the world, so of course that’s going to extend to the Doodler. This entire time the teens have been saying they need to find another way, that they can’t doom a whole planesworth of people just to save their home
So like. Why wouldn’t that extend to the doodler, now that they know it’s an option??
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clearallcathy · 2 months ago
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death to america
#not prompted by anything in particular the thought just came to me and i nodded and decided to put it out there#every day i am at a risk of seeing the most problemless people talk about their 'problems' online.#this is mostly done by a very specific type of american which i am sure you can picture well#but an uncomfortable amount of americans think that the world revolves around them and that their social norms are the global standard#while simultaneously fetishizing every single foreign culture they get their hands on?#the process involves insane watering down of the culture in question AND wholly ignoring the people who are a part of it also.#i watch travel video people occasionally and too many of them are. like this#this is a complex topic that is not meant to be explored in tumblr post obviously but it just annoys me more everyday#i dont like the way that theyre everywhere and engaging with foreign things through an American filter. its like microdosing colonization.#trying to dictate how things work and how they dont even though they had no part in their creation or even in their development sometimes.#this is sort of referring to jfashion subculture communities but applies to a lot of other things#i just see people arguing on social media about what this or that subculture is about and its like? Why do you think youre an authority#on this topic?#of course anyone has a say in anything but talking about some things like you own them feels so disrespectful honestly.#jfashion wise specifically its just weird. they will be like jpn (subculture member) are like this and like that and say that this or that#makes you a poser and such but then you see the jpn people online and it is literally just Not That you know?#i cant speak for japanese people Obviously but i need to say i find it very weird. to do this to any foreign culture really.#like you say youre a part of this and that you know so much. but you clearly know nothing about this community. you do not interact with it#like please have SOME shame.#it should be common sense to not act as an authority about something you dont know very well.#.txt
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vadlings · 11 months ago
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Represention of Autistic Frustration in Laios Dungeon Meshi
Like many other autistic people, I related strongly to Laios Touden while reading Dungeon Meshi. This post isn't going to spend time disputing whether he displays autistic traits or not—while I could do that, I want to focus on why specifically his portrayal struck a chord with me in a way the writing of most other autistic-coded characters has not.
Disclaimer: as the above suggests, this post is strongly informed by my own experiences as an autistic person, as well as the experiences of my neurodivergent friends with whom I have spoken about this subject. I want to clarify that in no way am I asserting my personal experience to be some Universal Autistic Experience. This post is about why Laios' character feels distinct and significant to me in regard to autistic representation, and while I'm at it, I do feel that I have interesting things to say about autistic representation in media generally. This also got a bit long, so I'm sticking it under a read more. Spoilers for up to the end of chapter 88 below.
The thing that stands out most to me in regard to Laios' characterisation is the open anger he displays when someone points out his inability to read other people. This comes up prominently in his interactions with "Shuro" (Toshiro Nakamoto):
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The frustration pictured above (Laios continuing to physically tussle with Toshiro, using crude language toward him) becomes even more notable when you remember that this is Laios, who, outside of these interactions, is not easily fazed and often exists as a lighthearted contrast to the rest of the cast. Then we get to Laios' nightmare.
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In Falin's words: "Nightmares love emotional wounds. Wounds you hold in your heart. Things that give you stress, or things that were traumatic for you. They aggravate memories like that and cause the dreamer to have terrible dreams." (chapter 42, page 10.) (damn. i'm properly citing for this post and everything.)
Thus, Laios' nightmare establishes an important fact: even if he is unable to recognise social blunders while he's making them, he's at least subconsciously aware that other people operate on a different wavelength to him, and that he's an outsider in many of his social circles (both past and present). His dream-father's disparaging words stress the impact this has had upon his ability to live up to the expectations set out for him, and we also get a panel of kids who smirk at him (presumably former bullies to some degree). Toshiro's appearance only hammers home how much Laios is still both humiliated and angered by his misunderstanding of their relationship.
I've thought a lot about anger as concomitant to the autistic experience. When autistic representation portrays ostracization, it's generally from an angle of the autistic character being upset at how conforming to neurotypical norms doesn't come easily to them; as a result, they express a desire to 'get better' at meeting neurotypical standards, a desire to become more 'normal' (whether the writing implies this is a good thing or not). In contrast, not once does Laios go, "I need to perform better in my social interactions, and try to care less about monsters, because that's what other people find weird." His frustration is directed outward rather than inward, and as a result, it's the people around him who are framed as nonsensical.
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The Winged Lion starts delineating Laios' anger, and Laios' reaction is to think to himself, "It can sense all my thoughts, huh?" (chapter 88, page 16.) This is the scene that really resonated with me. I'm not saying I have never felt the desire to conform to neurotypical norms that is borne from insecurity, but primarily, I know that I don't want to work toward becoming 'normal'—I don't want to change myself for people who follow rules I find nonsensical. It's the difference between, "Oh god, why can't I get it," and, "WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT?" (phrasing here courtesy of my friend Miles @dogwoodbite). And for me personally, Dungeon Meshi is the first time I've seen this frustration and the resultant voluntary isolation from other people portrayed in media so candidly. Laios' anger is not downplayed or written to be easily palatable, either.
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The culmination of Laios' frustrations in this scene wherein we learn that Laios has fantasised about "a pack of monsters attacking a village" drives home just how alienated he really feels. I need not go into his wish to become a monster himself, redolent of how many autistic people identify/have identified with non-humans to some degree as a result of a percieved disconnect from society (when I was younger, I wanted to be a robot. I still kind of do.)
Obviously, wishing death upon other people is a weighty thing, but the unfiltered nature of this page is what deeply resonated with me. The Winged Lion is laying Laios' deepest and most transgressive desires bare, and they are desires that are a product of lifelong ostracization by others (whether intentional or unintentional). This is the brand of anger I'm familiar with, and that my neurodivergent friends express being familiar with, but that I haven't seen portrayed in writing so explicitly before—in fact, it surprised me because most well-meaning autistic representation I've experienced veers toward infantilisation in trying make the autistic character's struggles easy for neurotypicals to sympathise with.
Let's also not neglect the symbolism inherent to Laios' daydream. "A pack of monsters attacking a village". Functionally, monsters are Laios' special interest—he percieves everything first and foremost through his passion for monsters. His daydream of monsters attacking—killing—humans, is fundamentally a daydream of the world he understands (monsters) overthrowing the world that is so illogical to him, that has repeatedly shunned him (other people). I joked to my friends that it's an autistic power fantasy, and it actually sort of is. And in it, his identity is aligned with that of the monsters, while his anger manifests in a palpable dissociation from the rest of humanity. This is one manga page. It's brief. It's also very, very raw to me. I think about it often.
To conclude, I love Laios Dungeon Meshi. This portrayal of open frustration in an autistic character meant a lot to me, and I hope I've sufficiently outlined why. Also, feel free to recommend media with autistic representation in the notes if you've read this far—I would really like to see if there is more of this nature. Thank you for reading. I'm very tired and should probably sleep now.
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cheekios · 7 months ago
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I will be homeless in less than 1 hours
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I have to stress that my apartment wants me gone. Why you might ask? Because I’m one of the few tenants in the entire apartment complex that pays $1300 for rent meanwhile everyone else pays $1800-$1900. They want me out to the extent they don’t accept any late fees from me, but accepts from other residents. I asked the apartment manager why, she couldn’t give me answer. It’s the norm to have until the 5th of the month to pay rent but not for me.
Goal: $775
CA: $HushEmu
I have to stress I’m not lazy or useless. I had a job despite having multiple disabilities. I’m not asking for a cookie or a pat on the back but its not easy. One small inconvenience really can set you up to be on the streets. Especially if you’re not privileged to have a good paying job with benefits. Like INSURANCE. Or parents that give a crap about you.
In my case the catalyst for this was simply my glasses breaking that snowballed me to eviction. I am legally blind and I have to thank diabetes for that. I cannot see without my glasses so it would be quite literally deadly for me to be on the roads. Ultimately I lost my job from “job abandonment”
I am asking for community support to stay housed. While I make this unfortunate transition. All I have is this community. There are ways beyond financial support that can help me. $1-$2 makes a significant impact
You can:
• Post on my behalf on all your platforms
• Urge your moots with large followings to reblog/retweet my posts
• You can interact fully with my posts to add traction
With the state of the world as it is right now. We need less apathy and more empathy. Please don’t ignore.
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honestlyvan · 2 years ago
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I think I get what you mean about the weird found family stuff. I also don't really love shipping stuff, but, at least in the last couple of years, I find people get real weird about stuff like "oh he's the found family dad" sort of thing. It's hard to describe why it weirds me out, but I think it's that compulsion to give the characters "roles" in the found family stuff, where when I think of irl friends who are as close to me as family, I don't think of them as like a "sibling", they're just in my mind categorized under "family".
Of course this isn't even mentioning the weird sex negative stuff. Sometimes I want characters to have freaky weird sex stuff in their lives! Unsanitized. People into genfic can be weird about that stuff.
Yeah like for me it was the worst during the height of XC2's popularity and the absolute wealth of raging about the anime fanservice game having anime fanservice in it and the desperate urge to Divest From The Queer Horny that came with it. I don't know if the majority of the people perpetuating the moral panic eventually realised they were just useful idiots and the Killing The God That Supplanted Reality franchise was the place to get into endless unnecessary tailspins about sexual purity or not but it definitely put me off on quite a permanent basis in trying to do anything that deals with eroticism in this franchise.
It was all very prescriptivist, it was all very twee, it was all trying so hard to be cuddly and nonthreatening and safe, and it just got so uncomfortable when people were bringing all their deeply sexual baggage into the conversation over a story that, as horny as it was in places, just completely lacked any sort of genuine eroticism to me. The very few things that were hot to me that I was interested in exploring were completely ignored by-and-large, disinteresting to anyone but me, specifically. And I just couldn't get a conversational foothold about them with anyone, so I gave up.
So I kinda have this same problem with XC3 atm where I actually do find some things in it really damn hot and I am embracing the eroticism and then.... I just fail to find people with similar interests so I have no good fic to read and nobody to really talk to about it. (I've dragged two people into XC3 with me to have someone to wordvomit about the OTP to). The overt hostility against sex isn't as present, in my experience, but even if people didn't titter around the sexual aspects of the story as much.... IDK man I am tired and I am not a teenager anymore at this point themes of self-discovery and adolescence and normative pairbonding just don't do shit for me. None of it is queer and weird enough, nobody here is that attractive to me anyway, I'd much rather read gen, but then the gen is also kinda just. Like that lol.
And I know I'm probably biased, I definitely read less Xenofic than I'd like to because I look at how stuff is tagged and the summary and go "is it worth the disappointment" when there's probably good writing being done out there and I'm not giving it a chance b/c I'm fucking bitter. Like it's entirely possible that just like XC1 and XC2 didn't really have a ton of overlap in the fandom, XC2 and XC3 don't also and the things I'm really put off by the hardest are not even a thing in the fandom zeitgeist anymore.
But like man. IDK. The things I want to do with this story and the things people are doing with this story are just... really divergent. This has always been a franchise where I like the worldbuilding more than I like the characters, and then I will have like the one or two characters that I absolutely 100% am completely bananas about and they never get written in ways that I would enjoy reading.
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inkdrinkerworld · 7 months ago
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hi! i saw you were taking requests for post prison spencer, so hey
i was thinking about spencer meeting a kinda sunshine reader, and it’s like…love at first sight. she’s literally the one to make him smile for good
feel free to add your magic to it, and to ignore it, don’t feel pressure at all!
have a good day/night <3
babe you guys are saving my life with these requests right now! I'm feeling so good about everything I write again <3 enjoy sunshine!reader x post prison!spencer who looks less tense and serious around you
You’re at his desk, sitting there all perfect in your orange button up and flared pants, Mary Janes clicking on the linoleum tile as you tap your pen against your lips. Your hair is scraped back into a ponytail, the plait brushing the spot between your shoulder blades. 
Spencer had asked about you to Penelope, asked about your personality, about how you work- all the important things. What he didn’t ask was if you were gorgeous and Penelope, who loves to divulge, had never said a thing about your looks. 
“Hi, you’re Y/n right?” Spencer’s standing before you, not realising how intimidating he must look till you jolt in your chair. 
You’d been trying to get your morning crossword and read in before the day had officially begun, a habit you’d been trying to keep up with since you started the job. So far it’s been going- the crosswords are boring so you have to pretend to be distracted by it to let it last a bit more than four minutes.
“Oh sorry, I am. You’re Doctor Spencer Reid,” you lean back in your chair, not bothering to hold out a hand to you. Penelope had grilled you on his aversion to germs and touching people more than needed. “I’m sorry about taking over your desk, but they didn’t have any free ones.” 
Spencer shakes his head, you take a moment to look him over. His hair is a bit looser than you’d imagined, Penelope said curly hair and you’d thought tight spirals- he has pretty loose ringlets, dark and mocha-like.
He smells like leather and something else, maybe plum and black currant- it’s a bit of an all encompassing smell that you like already. He’s much prettier too, he looks tired, but still pretty. His stubble presents a problem, you know it’s going to be your downfall. 
“It’s alright, we keep a tight ship. Have they been treating you well?” 
You tilt your head, “The team or the unsubs? Because it’s been too many cases to have real team building.” You grin when Spencer huffs, making his lips twitch. “But I think getting concussed while saving Newbie’s ass counts for something.” 
Luke grumbles as he walks by with his coffee, “You were hired after I was,” patting Spencer on the back when the taller, lithe, man rolls a chair to sit opposite you. 
“Do you still experience headaches or migraines?” Spencer kicks himself when he sees your tongue poke into your cheek- you’re trying hard not to smile at his question. He also thinks he’s doing a shoddy job of flirting but that can be fixed- he’s been in prison for the last three months, he just needs to get back in the swing of things. 
“I’m pretty sure your first official day back starts with you in Emily’s office and not giving me an impromptu physical, Dr. Reid.” His lips twitch again, cheeks jumping as he shakes his head. 
“It’s just a check-up, no physical yet.” he stands, not really giving himself time to overthink what he’s just said. It’s more than a little presumptuous on his part but you don’t call him an asshole or swear at him, so he thinks he’s okay with it. 
“Do you want your desk back, Spencer?” you’re earnest in asking, not wanting to fuck up his routines and his norm. You can tell you like him already and it’s hardly been a fifteen minute conversation. 
“No, it’s okay. I’ll take the one right there.” Spencer points a finger to the desk right in behind yours with a little less severity to his lips, his stubble looking even more attractive as he does so. 
You watch him walk away, willing yourself to be professional about all this, he may be hot but he’s your coworker and you know all about close proximity relationships possibly being shams. You’re not here for that, so Spencer will be a good friend. 
You make your way into the kitchen, steps light as you reach for your mug- a cute blue mug with an orca as the handle. 
“So you come in and the kid’s already obsessed with you?” Rossi’s right beside you, making you jump as you put more than the recommended amount of tablespoons of coffee into your mug. 
“It’s not like that, you all made him out to be this awkward shy mess and he isn’t.” You try to sound as casual as you can, but you profile your own voice and know how it sounds to everyone- wistful. 
“Maybe he’s seen a pretty girl and the ‘awkward shy mess’ melted away,” Rossi places his hands on your shoulders. “He’s a good kid. You can trust in that.” 
You roll your eyes, stirring your coffee. “I’m pretty sure he’s in his thirties, Rossi.” You take the milk from him, pouring it in till your coffee is just at the lip of your mug and smile. “Definitely too old.” 
Rossi waves his hand, “I’ve been married four times, old isn’t a marker for romance anymore. Not when you’re only twenty four.” He leaves you be for a moment, and on your walk back to your desk to fill out the remaining crosswords you mull over his words. 
As you sit, you look down and find it all filled out in black ink, opposed to your blue and you know who did it, if the messy scrawled message is anything to go by- ‘You should get The Washington Post puzzles, much more stimulating.’
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dredshirtroberts · 17 hours ago
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To be so clear I am also regularly in denial about how much pain i'm just in
even with meds, even with rest, even if I haven't done anything in a week, even if i did only good things the day before, even if the exercise was necessary
buuuuut the meds do take the edge off (still in pain but less which is a net good) and i can always tell when they've worn out (naproxen SAYS it's good for 8-12 hours and I get Maybe 7.5 on a good day). I'm attempting to change to preemptive pain relief from chasing pain constantly and it's hard. But we're getting better.
speaking of which. Naproxen time.
i think i'm like. really in denial sometimes about how much pain i'm just Casually In...
OH NO WAIT HANG ON WAIT ACTUALLY MY MEDICINE WORE OFF AND I DID LIKE A LOT OF UNANTICIPATED ACTIVITY NEVER MIND I'M DUMB I'M HURTING FOR ACTUAL REASONS THIS TIME
#i've narrowed down the Major Problem Area to the hip/pelvis/lower back region (primarily the Bones That Are Considered The Hips)#(rather than the hip joints themselves necessarily though to be so real it's definitely also part of the problem)#because the real problem is the fact that i was built Ford Tough and uh. boy howdy do i feel like i need a Fix Or Repair Daily#this is jokes i do not actually have a lot of Real Opinions on non-tesla car types#anyway#this post brought to you by a reply i got from a bot that i nearly succumbed to by going#''hey bud you sound like you're either a bot or new to the internet''#with the intention of adding in a nice little courtesy and social etiquette lesson for internet interactions and why we don't just demand#that folks message us when we've never spoken before and we don't just friend request out of the blue and such like that#(many such cases)#and i realized i could just instead block them#so i did :)#i block only because my grasp on the way people can choose to present themselves online is Incredibly Autistic#and i'd feel bad reporting someone as a bot if it turned out they're just not aware of the same internet location customs as i am#specifically/especially on tumblr where lots of internet space refugees end up#and they may just not know the customs here and that's fair!#the internet has changed a lot since i was a kid and that happens#i might be the one out of touch on this thursday and again the autism is 100% a factor in the way i think#but like we have Ways Of Doing Things In Places in order to make existing in those places not just easier but also more fun for everyone#and it like...it really bothers me when people don't play along with it#i get it a lot of the social rules don't actually do anything anymore#but there's so many more that DO still have a purpose#and we as a society seem to be eschewing all of it because some of it is Dated and not accurate for our current timeline#when what we *could* have been doing instead is coming up with an updated version of the mores and norms so that interaction stays smooth#like. utilizing basic polite language and phrasing is important it's a tough script to learn but it's so fucking important#because it's a shared language we can use to interact together#maybe we're both non-native speakers and we would interact better in our shared native tongue#and we can find that out as we know each other in the safe place of distance and social mores that keep us at a comfortable level#until we can know we even feel like sharing that actually the scripts and such take a lot of time#and i know i'm speaking from a place of privilege and like
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bella-goths-wife · 10 months ago
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How reader could manipulate the bowers gang boys
Again, please enjoy my attempts at being deep writer while being sick and sad
I do not intend to romanticise or encourage any of the following warnings, my writing is solely for entertainment and informational purposes. I do not support or condone any and all abuse and I do not believe in any of the various themes I write about.
Henry bowers:
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As we've established in previous posts, Henry craves to be taken care of
His mother was the only person who cared about him until his dad scared her off, and now he has no one
His dad couldn't give less of a shit about him, and while he sees the boys as his brothers, he'd never discuss thoughts and feelings with them because he was their leader and he can't seem weak
But you, you were so gentle and kind to those around you
Sure, you looked cold and sometimes you'd act like an arrogant bitch
But he saw how you acted with Beverly, before he made you his
You knew she struggled, so you'd make her an extra lunch and offer her a shoulder to cry on
Something about watching those interactions made Henry's skin crawl with an ugly jealousy which he mistook for anger and disgust
That's why he was so intent on hurting you the day he and the boys followed you after school, so he could take out his frustrations
But then he and the other boys saw you dancing, and he knew you'd be perfect
The way you could manipulate Henry is by really playing into the caregiver role
Make his lunches, write him little notes on them, offer to trim his hair, cook his dinners, offer to do his laundry and take care of his wounds after fights
Really act like you care about Henry, make him believe that you can be relied on
Make Henry believe that you are the one person in the world who cares about him and you'll be in for a world of surprises
As time goes on Henry will reveal more about himself, in his own gruff and verbally abusive fashion
But there will be a gentleness that's unlocked within him, it's minuscule when looking at it through the societal norms but if you view it as someone who has experienced his abuse for months, the change can be unexpected
If you do something wrong, as long as it's only minor (like burning his food slightly or not responding the first time he speaks), he'll turn a blind eye to it for the first time it happens instead of yelling and hurting you
And if he does decide to 'punish' you, he'll clean up your wounds instead of making you work through it and he'll make sure to avoid body parts that are vital to your ballet dancing
He'll also become more affectionate in his own way
He'll hold you at night in a way that used to be rough and only a precaution in case you tried to do something while he slept, but now his hold is less bruising and held more adoration then before
If you want to manipulate Henry, then the best way to do this is to voice your opinion while he holds you
It's really the only time he'd listen, so you'd have to make sure you do it correctly and you don't overuse it because he would eventually catch on
But if you wanted something to change within the group, your best chance is to mention it during this time
For example, if you didn't want to be around Patrick for too long, all you'd have to say to Henry is "Patrick makes me uncomfortable sometimes when he touches me"
And suddenly, your around Patrick by yourself less and less by Henry's command
Another route you could take is to cause conflict within the group, for example
You could say something like "Patrick's been quite demanding lately, he told me not to make you lunch tomorrow and to make it for him instead"
This will plant seeds of doubt in Henry's mind and will cause problems amongst the boys
The only side effect to this manipulation is a very needy, clingy and possessive Henry who feels the need to have you around 24/7 since you take such good care of him
Patrick Hockstetter:
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Patrick is a sociopath, it's very clear to see and if he were born ten years later he would be labelled as dangerous to society
So his manipulation would be extremely hard, but everyone has their blindspots
And Patrick's is that he craves sexual attention and validation
Patrick has been sleeping with girls since he was fifteen, and sometimes he thinks it's the only thing that makes other people seem real to him
He's engaged in sexual relations with you, but never with your consent
And while he enjoys the pleasure and control he gains from the interaction, he knows that he would prefer it if you were an active participant who enjoyed the experience with him
A way you could manipulate Patrick is if you started to act enthusiastic to sleep with him
You'd have to force yourself and you'd have to be a good actress, but if you acted enthusiastically about having sex with Patrick and sharing that part of yourself willingly with him it would definitely lower his guard
As I've mentioned before in previous posts, after having any sexual interactions with you he will be kinder to you for a few weeks afterwards
This means that If you wanted to make it so he was being nicer to you then you could initiate sex with him for your own benefit
This would grant you many rewards such as gifts he stole from the mall, defending you against the other boys when they get too rough and he's even able to get you out of some of the punishments the other boys set out for you
Another route you could take Patrick's manipulation is to withdraw from sex completely
For weeks you'd be enthusiastic and initiating sex with Patrick until he does something that makes you upset
Once he does this, you stop acting happy about having sex with him and you stop participating
You can't outright stop having sex with him unfortunately as he will just force you to
But If you withdraw from sex go from someone who was enthusiastic and excited to someone who just lays there and takes it while you dissociate from the situation, it's gonna give Patrick a case of whiplash
He'll try and enjoy the sex even though your withdraw but he just can't anymore, not when he's experienced you at your fullest
So he'll subconsciously start to gain back your attention
This would be an opportunity to try and gain more out of Patrick
Request things that you'd get smacked for before
Ask for things like alone time, cigarettes, friends and they'll all be granted as long as you just have sex with Patrick with the same passion as before
If you want to cause problems with the group through your manipulation of Patrick, start sleeping with one of the other boys with enthusiasm while denying Patrick and you'll have a fist fight in no time
Victor Criss:
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Vic is extremely possessive of you
You are his and he is yours, he has stated this to you many times
This possessiveness has always been encouraged by his silent resentment of Henry and the other boys
All of his nice and pretty things were always taken from him
When he was younger, belch would steal his toys and break them
When he was a pre teen, Henry would steal his lunches and snacks from home
And when he was a teenager, Patrick would steal any girl that vic found pretty before sleeping with her and leaving her broken hearted
Vic held so much resent in for those instances, but they formed dark bruises on his heart from the memories
All you have to do is press down on those bruises and reignite the sting he felt from them
You could act very affectionate with him behind closed doors and act like the two of you are just passionate lovers
Be affectionate with him and make him more vulnerable and susceptible to your manipulative behaviour
Once he's comfortable, reinforce his thoughts of how you are his and his only
Make sure he knows that you believe that you are his as well
This will encourage to him to take your requests more seriously and to even grant the very few he can
It also reassures you that he's less likely to punish you if you act like his perfect little toy
•But if you wanted to go down the route of manipulating the boys against each other, then your best bet is to pit him against Henry
Drop into conversations that you wish you could spend more time with him, but Henry just won’t let you
Describe all the horrible things Henry does to you and exaggerate it before adding “if it was just you and me, you’d never do anything like this to me”
All those feelings of resentment that vic repressed for years will boil over
At first it will start off as small arguments but it will quickly develop
If you continuously use these methods of manipulation on vic for months and then try to provoke Henry into acting cruel to you and punishing you in front of vic, then make vic watch the cruelty being inflicted on you and watch his possessive and protective behaviour bubble to the surface
There would be a bloody fight which would end up with one of them dead, and you better pray that it’s Henry who looses
You know what they say
If you want to kill a snake, remove the head
Belch Huggins:
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As I’ve said in my other posts, belch is absolutely desperate for your approval
He’s craved it ever since the first time you granted him a compliment
Even if it was more of an observation of a compliment, to him it felt like a goddess had finally given him a purpose
You may think that’s enough to be able to manipulate belch, but unfortunately you weren’t the first person to figure this out
Henry has always been observant over belch, belch is physically stronger and if he were smarter he could probably overtake Henry as the group leader
So Henry definitely noticed how much belch lit up after you praised or complimented him
And he saw this as something that could be a threat
So he decided to use it against you before you figured out a plan
He told belch that in order to gain your approval, he would have to follow Henry’s instructions no matter how cruel or violent they were
Henry reassured him that even if you insulted belch or yelled at him for following Henry’s instructions, but it was all for your own good
And eventually you’d thank belch for helping you figure out what you wanted
At least that’s what Henry told him
So no matter how guilty belch may feel, Henry has manipulated him so much that he truly does believe the abuse is gonna help you
But one way you could manipulate belch is through similar methods as vic or Henry
Overpower him with your affection and compliments
Make him feel loved and wanted with your words and actions
But only do this obviously in private with him
Only give him your affections and approval subtly
Think about secret lovers affection, like touching pinkies with your hands spread out or his hand on your knee under the table
These actions will make his as giddy as a teenager in love
He truly will believe that you and him are in love
While you give him the affection and approval that he craves, make small requests like
“I really wish I could smoke again, do you think you could give me one of your cigarettes”
Now there is a small chance that he’ll allow it if he’s blissed out on your touch, but if he denies you then immediately stop all the affection that your giving him and push him away
This will cause him to backpedal and give in to your request as long as you continue to touch him
This only works for minor requests though, for major requests you’ll need to scare him
For example, if you wanted some time to spend with Beverly then you’d have to ask him and when he Denies you then simply threaten him with harming yourself or not eating
This will send his protective side into overdrive and you can have this man on his knees begging for forgiveness if you play your cards right
A way to manipulate him against the rest of the group is to prove yourself as the only person who cares about him and loves him before planting the seeds of doubt in his mind
Drop little comments like “Patrick was wrong about you, your not stupid” or “vic says your too violent, but I don’t think that’s true”
He’ll start to second guess his friends and he’ll start to come to you more with his problems
But the best move to make is to make it so after all those months of manipulating belch against the rest of his friends, have him watch as Henry is unnecessarily cruel to you
And then go crying into belchs arms in private and demand to know why he didn’t help you or defend you
Drop in a “I thought you loved me” and you’ll have undone all of Henry’s manipulation in seconds
You could convince belch to take you away from the rest of the boys and to run away with you so you could be together forever
Hopefully you’ll be able to sneak away from belch at some point because he now trusts you
And even if you don’t, being stuck with belch is the lesser of two evils
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ilovedthestars · 3 months ago
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A thought I’ve been having: While it's important to recognize the long history of many current queer identities (and the even longer history of people who lived outside of the straight, cis, allo “norm”) I think it's also important to remember that a label or identity doesn't have to be old to be, for lack of a better word, real.
This post that i reblogged a little while ago about asexuality and its history in the LGBTQ+ rights movement and before is really good and really important. As i've thought about it more, though, it makes me wonder why we need to prove that our labels have "always existed." In the case of asexuality, that post is pushing back against exclusionists who say that asexuality was “made up on the internet” and is therefore invalid. The post proves that untrue, which is important, because it takes away a tool for exclusionists.
But aromanticism, a label & community with a lot of overlap & solidarity with asexuality, was not a label that existed during Stonewall and the subsequent movement. It was coined a couple decades ago, on internet forums. While the phrasing is dismissive, it would be technically accurate to say that it was “made up on the internet.” To be very clear, I’m not agreeing with the exclusionists here—I’m aromantic myself. What I’m asking is, why does being a relatively recently coined label make it any less real or valid for people to identify with?
I think this emphasis on historical precedent is what leads to some of the attempts to label historical figures with modern terminology. If we can say someone who lived 100 or 1000 years ago was gay, or nonbinary, or asexual, or whatever, then that grants the identity legitimacy. but that's not the terminology they would have used then, and we have no way of knowing how, or if, any historical person's experiences would fit into modern terminology.
There's an element of "the map is not the territory" here, you know? Like this really good post says, labels are social technologies. There's a tendency in the modern Western queer community to act like in the last few decades the "truth" about how genders and orientations work has become more widespread and accepted. But that leaves out all the cultures, both historical and modern, that use a model of gender and sexuality that doesn't map neatly to LGBTQ+ identities but is nonetheless far more nuanced than "there are two genders, man and woman, and everyone is allo and straight." Those systems aren’t any more or less “true” than the system of gay/bi/pan/etc and straight, cis and trans, aro/ace and allo.
I guess what I’m saying is, and please bear with me here, “gay” people have not always existed. “Nonbinary” people have not always existed. “Asexual” people have not always existed. But people who fell in love with and had sex with others of the same gender have always existed. People who would not have identified themselves as either men or women have always existed. People who didn’t prioritize sex (and/or romance) as important parts of their lives have always existed. In the grand scheme of human existence, all our labels are new, and that’s okay. In another hundred or thousand years we’ll have completely different ways of thinking about gender and sexuality, and that’ll be okay too. Our labels can still be meaningful to us and our experiences right now, and that makes them real and important no matter how new they are.
We have a history, and we should not let it be erased. But we don’t need a history for our experiences and ways of describing ourselves to be real, right now.
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snickerdoodlles · 10 months ago
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one of my most formative fandom experiences was a comment i had gotten on a fic i wrote for a halloween themed fandom event.
this was for a manga/anime, so the fic was a general ghost story obviously set in Japan. the beginning of it involved a pizza delivery and while writing it, i had spent like 30 minutes just double checking tipping customs and the types of pizza they serve and even fell down a wikipedia rabbit hole looking up the history of pizza in Japan.
now, i just like the research part of writing, i do stuff like this because i have fun doing it. and while i was writing this particular fic, i had laughed at myself for my 30 minutes of googling that amounted to 2.5 offhand lines in a 3500 word fic. i didn't think anyone would care about or even notice those particular details except for me, especially since none of them were relevant to the ghost part of this ghost story.
except, when i had sent this fic to a Japanese friend, the first thing she said to me about it was "OH MY GOD YOU GOT THE PIZZA RIGHT"
and that was the moment when it had really clicked for me. what had just been 30 minutes of effort on my part had become a moment of relief for her. my friend was far more used to reading ethnocentric fic that ranged from unintentional ignorance to outright superiority against part of her culture (the original story's culture no less). and even with the "innocent" ignorance (heavy quotes on that) far outstripping any outright maliciousness, that's still so many people saying her culture was not worth learning about. the pizza in my story was a small detail, but i had cared enough to put in some effort to check it. and for her, coming from a fic experience where her norm was bracing for hundreds of inaccuracies born of ignorance, especially at that time after a flood of stories centered around "Halloween as a cultural holiday in the US" premises instead of the "Halloween is a commercial gimmick in Japan" reality, seeing someone put in some effort even for minor story details meant something to her.
this also throws me back to the discourse that arose in a french show fandom a few years ago because there were a lot of fic authors that wrote 'dollars' instead of 'euros'-- but when people brought this up as a prevalent issue across the fandom but an easy one to fic/watch out for, many of these writers instead pushed back to complain that they were posting stories for free and it wasn't that big of a deal. which really upset a lot of people, but then this upset was met with a new wave of indignation that people needed to 'get over it' because they're writing fic ~just as a hobby~. but, even if 'dollars' instead of 'euros' wasn't a big deal, by digging in their heels about the issue, they were saying "your culture isn't worth even five minutes of my time or effort."
I've been thinking about these things lately because the ethnocentrism in Thai drama fandoms is...staggering. just over the turn of the year, there were waves of Christmas fic for Buddhist characters. and just. Christmas in Thailand is a tourist thing at best. sometimes a pop culture gimmick for international audiences or maybe an offhand high school thing to blow off steam between midterms. it's not a cultural thing. and even if a character is a part of the Christian minority, a Christian Thai's holiday customs and culture are going to be vastly different than a Christian's customs in the Americas or Europe. and while the Christmas fic is at least finished for now, I'm already bracing myself for the Easter fic wave that also seems to pop up for Thai dramas. it's so frustrating to see this sort of cultural overwrite all the time, especially since most Thai drama holiday works aren't about Thai holidays.
but the thing that really got me bristling about all of this again was i saw a post the other day where op said that they weren't going to write [thai drama] fic because they don't know much about thailand.
what an absolutely appalling statement to make.
google is right there. wikipedia is free. you don't even have to leave tumblr or AO3 to learn more because there are Thai natives in fandom who write essays to explain common elements of their culture. hell, even just watching these Thai stories and considering the values and messages imparted by the narrative framework and story lens tells you something about that culture. the audacity to look at a culture different from your own and say "this is not worth my effort or time to learn anything more about," are you kidding me?!?
the messages and values of a story tell you about the writer's values, which are going to carry their cultural values, beliefs, and biases. Thai culture is going to be heavily relevant to any Thai story, even the ones that aren't explicitly about Thai culture/customs/etc. (hell, Thai bl/gl as a genre alone-- just the fact that queer Thai writers are making these stories in Thailand's current political climate is highly political, even the "fluffy" ones that don't seem to make outright political statements.) to approach any story like it was made in a vacuum is to remove the writer(s)' culture and values and to overwrite them with your own.
especially because this is fandom. these are the lowest stakes to learn! it sucks to see people say things like "but i'm scared i'll get something wrong" and hold up that fear as a shield to justify their ignorance. no one's expecting anyone to get every detail right, especially not for a culture that isn't theirs, just make an effort to learn something new about it. pick out something that caught your eye as different to learn more about and see where it leads you.
and for the record--making a mistake trying to broaden your horizons is a far, far better thing to do than to superimpose your culture on everyone else's because you're scared to confront your ignorance.
edit: check out this reblog thanks
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empty-movement · 11 months ago
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Welcome to Something Eternal: A Website Forum in 2023 wtf lmao
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It's 2023, and a single belligerent rich guy destroyed one of the primary focal points of uh...global communication. Tumblr is, shockingly, kinda thriving despite the abuse it gets from its owners, but that I will call the iconic refusal of Tumblr users to let Tumblr get in the way of their using Tumblr. Reddit killed its API, removing the functionality of mobile apps that made it remotely readable (rip rif.) Discord, our current primary hangout, has made countless strange choices lately that indicate it has reached the summit of its usability and functionality, and can only decline from here as changes get made to prepare for shareholders. (NOTE: WROTE THIS POST BEFORE THEIR MOBILE "REDESIGN" LMAO)
The enshittification is intense, and it's coming from every direction. Social media platforms that felt like permanent institutions are instead slowly going to let fall fallow incredible amounts of history, works of art, thought, and fandoms. It kinda sucks!
A couple years ago, I posted about a new plan with a new domain, to focus on the archiving of media content, as I saw that to be the fatal weakness of the current ways the internet and fandoms work. Much has happened since to convince me to alter the direction of those efforts, though not abandon them entirely.
Long story short? We are launching a fucking website forum. In 2023.
If you remember In the Rose Garden, much about Something Eternal will be familiar. But this has been a year in the making, and in many ways it's far more ambitious than IRG was. We have put money on this. The forum is running on the same software major IT and technology businesses use, because I don't want the software to age out of usability within five years. It has an attached gallery system for me to post content to, including the Chiho Saito art collection. It has a profile post system that everyone already on the forum has decided is kinda like mini Twitter? But it is, fundamentally, a website forum, owned and run and moderated by us. We are not web devs. But we have run a website on pure spite and headbutting code for over twenty years, and we have over a decade of experience maintaining social spaces online, both on the OG forum, and on our Discord. Better skilled people with far more time than we have can and will build incredible alternatives to what is collapsing around us. But they're not in the room right now. We are. And you know what? Maybe it's time to return to a clunkier, slower moving, more conversation focused platform.
You're not joining a social media platform with the full polish of dozens of devs and automated moderation. Things might break, and I might need time to fix them. The emojis and such are still a work in progress. Because e-mails no longer route in reasonable normal ways, the sign-up process instead happens within the software, and has to be approved by mods. Design and structure elements may change. Etc. The point being, that the forum isn't finished, but it is at a place where I feel like I can present it to people, and it's people I need to help direct what functions and things will be in this space. You all will shape its norms, its traditions, its options...choices I could try to make now, but really...they're for us to create as a group! But the important stuff? That's there. Now let's drive this baby off the damn lot already!
Come! Join us!!
PS. As always, TERFs and Nazis need not apply.
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twopoppies · 30 days ago
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hey love, i hope this arrives in one piece and nothing is cut off, as i am not sure anymore how much i can write in a tumblr ask. just to be sure, my message ends with a ":)"
i'm a larrie since 2013, but went on a work-related tumblr break in 2018 (i work in the music industry). i returned to tumblr last week, amidst deep shared grief 💔 to find solace in community. as i tried to cheer myself up by going through my favorite blogs (like yours, it's so wonderful) and trying to catch up -especially about Harry&Louis things that i missed in the last years-, i found the posts really feel like little nuggets of joy and i'm so grateful for that. so i decided i finally want to add to it, now that my industry commitments have downsized significantly. i haven't shared this in almost a decade (never online anyway) and it's not big news or anything, but whenever i remember it, it just makes my heart glow. so, one of my closest work-friends in the industry back in the days (and i'll use neutral pronouns to protect them) did two tours with them in 🦘 in 2013 and 2015. our shared work ethics and also contracts obviously forbade us both from sharing almost all of what was seen or heard (concerning the artists' personal business), but my friend knew i firmly believed Harry and Louis to be together, just closeted (and we both knew this sadly was very common in music or the film industry; meaning mgmt iron-closeting non-straight male artists was completely and automatically still considered The Norm back then, especially with male artists doing these kinds of numbers and having that large of a young fanbase). i never indulged in my reasons or theories, because i felt like i had a professional reputation to uphold and also with me being queer and in the closet as well, it felt too personal to discuss, back then. during the first tour in 2013, we didn't text much, they just said the band was all very friendly and crew was professional, they seemed "like family". the schedule was "brutal". and security constantly needed to be "tightened", due to invasive people trying to steal or replicate tour passes. i didn't ask my friend about Harry and Louis specifically --but admittedly we also weren't that close of friends at that point. during the second tour in 2015, we were though, and only a few days in, they out of the blue texted something that made me smile so wide, i honestly think my cheeks are hurting to this day. :D i quote: "hey so those two louis and h. can't tell you more but you weren't wrong!!!" i replied with ":DDDDDDD" (honestly felt like sending a million heart emojis instead) and about an hour later they sent "every here knows too!!!" and a correction: "everyone" and to this day, almost 10 years later, I keep these imessages saved, because it made me so happy. and i hope that sharing my time-capsuled precious memory will make someone else happy, too. their love is truly something so special. oh, and one of the two was really unlucky at the pokies (slot machines) and quite a sore loser, haha. I always guessed it was Louis, but I don't know. :)
🥹 Oh, we really needed some happiness around here. Bless you for sharing this.
Also, I tend to agree with you that it was Louis on the slot machines. LMAO!
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