#and i realized i could just instead block them
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mandalhoerian · 22 hours ago
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I love your analysis on Rafayel, I thought there was something wrong with me not understanding his card! If it's not too much to ask, can you break down his final dialogue? I don't get his point. why is he suddenly bringing up love when this has been about art? Isn't he saying that the love he feels is also bringing him pain, isn't this a bad thing😅 Is it just me 😅 I feel crazy... You can ignore this if you want no hard feelings
the said analysis on intertidal zone for people who haven't seen it!
first of all, please don't be hard on yourself for not understanding, you're okay! this was me too. i got you!
"i once stubbornly believed only pain could bring me inspiration. I traveled far and wide in search of it. Pain that inspires me, I mean. Like a sea that's about to dry up. The art of creation is part of my life. You made me realize love and art are so alike. Even if they don't complete me but burn me instead, I still want them with every fiber of my being."
but before i can explain this fully, I want to go take a few steps back and go into what he previously revealed. I swear it makes sense to start from the beginning, trust me. spoiler alert, I've discovered something you guys. (@pasdenomadonner you can put this on reddit too if you'd like!!)
"actually i was here last time for an exhibit and i found myself in the same situation."
this could refer to either his fever, or his lack of inspiration, or both. the next line confirms that he was going through creative block, though -> "as far as i know, this is the longest time my mind's been like a blank sheet of paper."
and mc says, "you mean you can't draw?"
I totally missed this before & thought it was a tangent that came out of nowhere. But what Rafayel did is that, without words, showing her that he was in fact able to fix his inspiration issue the last time. This isn't a random reveal that the ocean and desert painting belonged to him all this time. It says that his trip to here fixed his creative block and the piece he made from the inspiration he got from Aridum made it to the memorial hall. He's saying, "No no, I could draw."
He's come here again for guaranteed inspiration hit. He's basically saying his trip here didn't work this time around and this isn't doing anything for him, despite the tragedy all around him.
Do you know what this means? STAY WITH ME NOW, STAY WITH ME.
because this ties DIRECTLY to him saying "i stubbornly believed only pain could give me inspiration" -- so, if only pain gives him inspiration, why can't he draw now? why is his mind blank? Is he not getting his inspiration from pain anymore? What will he do now, then? THAT'S what he's struggling with.
NOW we can dive into the rest of the final dialogue.
1. “The art of creation is part of my life.”
This line sets the stage. Rafayel isn’t just saying art is important to him, it’s essential. Not a hobby. Art isn’t just a thing he does, it’s who he is.
What he’s really saying here is: “Art is a core part of my identity. Without it, I’m not me.”
2. “You made me realize love and art are so alike.”
Here’s the pivot. It's so confusing at first glance because you expect him to elaborate in "What way?" But I believe Rafayel is setting the stage to make a direct comparison between art--this thing he just declared essential to his life--and love not just by commenting on their similarities but by implying that love (MC) is just as essential as art.
Think about what this means for someone like Rafayel:
Art has always been his way of processing the world, expressing himself, and finding meaning. It’s his lifeline.
By comparing love to art, he’s saying that MC has brought something into his life that feels equally vital, equally irreplaceable.
He’s realizing that MC, like art, isn’t just something that happens to him--it’s something he needs.
3. “Even if they don’t complete me but burn me instead...”
This is where it gets personal and raw. Rafayel doesn’t see art or love as things that “fix” him or make him whole. Instead, he sees them as forces that challenge him, consume him, and demand something from him.
“Burn me instead”: The idea of burning here isn’t necessarily negative, perhaps. It’s could be about intensity and being consuming. Both art and love push Rafayel to his limits, force him to confront himself, and sometimes hurt him in the process. But he’s okay with that. The burn isn’t a deterrent--it’s a part of what makes these things so meaningful to him.
In essence, he’s saying: Even if art and love aren’t easy, even if they don’t make me feel whole or safe, I still want them. I still need them.
4. “I still want them with every fiber of my being.”
This line drives the point home, circling back to how he said they were "alike". Rafayel isn’t just tolerating the burn--he’s choosing it. He wants art and love, not because they’re perfect or painless, but because they’re what give his life meaning. Remember his "Addictive Pain" anectode? I don't think he dislikes this kind of "pain" but MC isn't in a place to understand what he means yet is my takeaway.
YEAH?. YEAH. I'M DOING LAPS IN MY ROOM HE'S SO. HE'S SOOOOOO. AND I'M SO SLOW, I DIDN'T GET ALL OF UNTIL LATER, LIKE HOW THE LAST TIME HE WAS ABLE TO BE INSPIRED BY ARIDUM DURING CREATIVE BLOCK BUT NOT ANYMORE. "Why is he bringing up love all of a sudden. Weren't we just talking about art?" was such a raw connection he was trying to pull and it flew right over my head.
And understanding the burning thing quite literally I imagine, LIKE I WAS DOING, MC is like
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he's such a tortured artist
anyway. I hope I was able to help, anon. It's thanks to you I went in and discovered these new things. Why is it always Rafayel. I feel like local tumblrina discovering media literacy for the first time, I swear I'm good at consuming media it's him making things difficult (even though me personally I've made my peace with having a peanut for a brain that runs on brainrot)
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ourceliumnetwork · 1 month ago
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To be so clear I am also regularly in denial about how much pain i'm just in
even with meds, even with rest, even if I haven't done anything in a week, even if i did only good things the day before, even if the exercise was necessary
buuuuut the meds do take the edge off (still in pain but less which is a net good) and i can always tell when they've worn out (naproxen SAYS it's good for 8-12 hours and I get Maybe 7.5 on a good day). I'm attempting to change to preemptive pain relief from chasing pain constantly and it's hard. But we're getting better.
speaking of which. Naproxen time.
i think i'm like. really in denial sometimes about how much pain i'm just Casually In...
OH NO WAIT HANG ON WAIT ACTUALLY MY MEDICINE WORE OFF AND I DID LIKE A LOT OF UNANTICIPATED ACTIVITY NEVER MIND I'M DUMB I'M HURTING FOR ACTUAL REASONS THIS TIME
#i've narrowed down the Major Problem Area to the hip/pelvis/lower back region (primarily the Bones That Are Considered The Hips)#(rather than the hip joints themselves necessarily though to be so real it's definitely also part of the problem)#because the real problem is the fact that i was built Ford Tough and uh. boy howdy do i feel like i need a Fix Or Repair Daily#this is jokes i do not actually have a lot of Real Opinions on non-tesla car types#anyway#this post brought to you by a reply i got from a bot that i nearly succumbed to by going#''hey bud you sound like you're either a bot or new to the internet''#with the intention of adding in a nice little courtesy and social etiquette lesson for internet interactions and why we don't just demand#that folks message us when we've never spoken before and we don't just friend request out of the blue and such like that#(many such cases)#and i realized i could just instead block them#so i did :)#i block only because my grasp on the way people can choose to present themselves online is Incredibly Autistic#and i'd feel bad reporting someone as a bot if it turned out they're just not aware of the same internet location customs as i am#specifically/especially on tumblr where lots of internet space refugees end up#and they may just not know the customs here and that's fair!#the internet has changed a lot since i was a kid and that happens#i might be the one out of touch on this thursday and again the autism is 100% a factor in the way i think#but like we have Ways Of Doing Things In Places in order to make existing in those places not just easier but also more fun for everyone#and it like...it really bothers me when people don't play along with it#i get it a lot of the social rules don't actually do anything anymore#but there's so many more that DO still have a purpose#and we as a society seem to be eschewing all of it because some of it is Dated and not accurate for our current timeline#when what we *could* have been doing instead is coming up with an updated version of the mores and norms so that interaction stays smooth#like. utilizing basic polite language and phrasing is important it's a tough script to learn but it's so fucking important#because it's a shared language we can use to interact together#maybe we're both non-native speakers and we would interact better in our shared native tongue#and we can find that out as we know each other in the safe place of distance and social mores that keep us at a comfortable level#until we can know we even feel like sharing that actually the scripts and such take a lot of time#and i know i'm speaking from a place of privilege and like
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skitskatdacat63 · 7 months ago
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Fernando instinctively trying to protect his boyfriend Seb from the champagne spray
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krotiation · 5 months ago
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Kro I'm so gay for your art how do you keep making such clean and detailed lineart every single time /big pos
AJDJAHDJS THANK YOU SHINA!! Honestly I didn't even know my lineart COULD be considered clean 😭 it is probably my favorite part of drawing tho so I tend to take my time with it
Also I don't actually do lineart for all the details right away! Some details only gets added on a new layer after I've already colored/shaded the "base" so I don't muddy the drawing up trying to squeeze in every little aspect of the designs in the lineart
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jankwritten · 11 months ago
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yall wanna know how fucked up my anxiety is about some shit
i scroll past a post that's about a topic i don't like. whatever, it's fine. i scroll past a video that's a topic i don't care about. that's normal.
i scroll past a video that's a topic i don't like or care about but the person presenting it is a person of color? i IMMEDIATELY feel immensely guilty and need to "compensate" by "proving" it wasn't because of race by also skipping other random posts, JUST IN CASE someone thinks I'm racist because I didn't want to watch a video on a topic I didn't like or care about, that happened to be presented by a person of color.
this just in on: the police in my brain are loud and i'm scared of them
#this is also because i grew up in a racist area and in that culture and my own ignorance i also Was Kinda Racist#but like in that way where you don't realize it's racism until you're out of it and now feel so ashamed that you forcefully block all#those memories just so you don't ever have to associate yourself with them ever again?#(mind you I was like. 15-16 and closeted and scared scared scared all the time so I acted like the Crowd and that was awful of me to do)#BUT NOW that i've grown and am learning and have taken classes on anthropology and all kinds of stuff I just feel like I notice my own shit#like TENFOLD now#it's my anxiety overthinking thing plus if anybody ever knows I could have done anything SLIGHTLY problematic the world will explode#plus my constant paranoia that someone is always watching me and just Knows that I'm Secretly a Bad Person (even though I don't think I am?#also I feel like I need to clarify that the kind of racism in my town wasn't like. klan shit. it was like very hidden racism?#it was like. kids casually doing black accents and making jokes with racist undertones. the kind of racism where race was always#the butt of the joke instead of an outright HATED thing. and I think that's why it was so hard to unlearn#it's like that thing where in order to stop wanting to kill yourself you have to stop joking about wanting to kill yourself#this has become a vent post accidentally i'm so sorry#this is just. one of my Major anxieties that engulfs me every day because of 1) anxiety 2) potential OCD 3) being a bad person in my past#this is another reason I fucking hate florida#because I just know if I had grown up in my home town in MI I would not have been raised in that environment#and it's my own fucking fault for falling into the crowd like that.#all this to say i traumatized myself and likely some people around me by being A Fucking Idiot when I was a kid#and now adult me is doing everything in their power to not ever be that person ever fucking again#tw vent post#tw racism#tw past racism#but im better now and I know my mistakes and I refuse to make them again#fuck florida for every fucking reason under the sun
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brittlebutch · 4 months ago
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officially 10K into this fic and having a realization about where I'm at on characterization so far, so i'm wondering:
#N posts stuff#i'm like. this first draft is really the writing equivalent of layout sketching: which characters are where / what's the scene About#with the expectation that the second draft will have the building blocks there to build up specific characterization further#but i'm realizing that i am in fact SO broad strokes on the characters so far that i'd need to do extensive studying#of the source material to really hammer in the characterization in a way that i would be satisfied with. a task that at this point#likely wouldn't be very fun. so i had a moment of 'oh idek if i'll be able to finish writing this fic :(' and got sad about it#which was where the 'oh. actually if i'm That loose on characterization right now I could just. shift the characters in#Whatever ways i want them to go and just make them OCs instead of fanfic...' which would actually be like. technically speaking#a Lot more fun bc this fic is so self-indulgent that i keep having moments where i'm pulling back on other elements i'd want to#incorporate into the fic bc 'if it's Too self-indulgent with numerous headcanons it won't be Good to fandom readers'#(ie the character who would Really vibe being a furry and the other begging to be a tgirl)#it Might wind up being something we do no matter what but i am still curious if there would be like. an actual audience for it#and not just something i'm doing all for myself lol; i used to make a LOT of ocs but haven't really done it in Years nd Years#i had a 'no way' moment but i Have had multiple people tell me they read my fics Regardless of whether they've seen source#material or not. so tentatively hopeful the answer is yes? but i'm curious :3
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anonyanonymouse · 3 months ago
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🙈
#I feel. like I get too worried about putting my stuff in the tags LOL#or just too worried about ants in general#but to be fair I've come from some really infested fandoms#where people got reported for this stuff so hard they were removed from the site#idk if tumblr changed it though. maybe they did. where if someone hit a certain number of reports on their account they got removed#whether they were breaking TOS or not#I think that could have been changed because I don't see it happen anymore#but the more I cared about this tumblr acc the more scared of that I got LOL#it's been super peaceful though???#this could just be because I blocked like half the fandom before posting anything here#but I haven't received any hate mail & haven't had any sort of callout like I was expecting#and I guess mallesil isn't really SUPER controversial#it's leaning off the gray area lately but it is still in the gray area#I just feel like I'm cheating with how easy it is to ''get away'' with having HEY I LIKE INCEST front and center on my pinned and all#when I've seen someone get reported off the map for making one singular post saying they don't mind people who ship child characters#and I've just gotten away with posting sooo many mallesil posts in the main tags lately I'm like huh??? Did I ever actually need to worry?#it's kind of embarrassing I guess having several things in my Posts That Do Not Go Into The Main Tags#that I'm just now realizing were probably totally fine to put out there lol#like damn maybe I can just talk about lilia kissing silver with tongue and get away with it????#anyway#while I am on the subject of things I am embarrassed about for no reason#I feel especially bad lately for not posting like ANYTHING about sebek or lilia most of the time lol#I made a point to draw all the twst characters at least once a while ago but I don't think I've actually drawn sebek more than that?#sorry sebek I love you sebek :(#sebesil is such a good ship and I just have absolutely zero passion for it I DON'T KNOW!!! It just isn't there for me!!!#I like it a lot I love all the ship art for it I like seeing it pop up in fics#but if you leave me to my own devices I'm. not going to think about them even a little probably lol...#I do think about mallesebe sometimes though. I wrote about them once for the request. they're so fun they're so awful#and yet. most of the thoughts I have for mallesebe I'm just like hrmmmm this could be mallesil instead#sorry again sebek I love you sebek 😭
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cherrymoonvol6 · 4 months ago
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.
#lately i've been going to twitter to get some lunter action bc most fanartists are there#and god it's just so annoying that over there they're stuck in a 5 day cycle of the same discourse over and over again#is it okay to ship this or is this a dirty nasty morally questionable proship? uwu#then the realization is 'yes lunter actually isn't a disgusting perverted proship which makes it okay to exists even if i HATE it'#and then two days later someone is like um akshually it's disgusting because incest and here we fucking go again#god. we need to extirp anyone under 16 years old from the internet. you have not developed enough brain matter to be on social media#(now if you're an adult unironically arguing in that discourse you either have a lot of free time or i just need to block you)#but man. like i wanna say to those lunter defenders..... can't you see what's wrong?#can't you see that the moment you've chosen to accept the premise of there being 'good' and 'reproachable' ships you've already lost?#that someone will always be able to pick a 'problematic' aspect in any ship ever?#that entertaining that idea from the beginning is the absolute worst thing you could do?#like i prefer when people call lunter boring. okay yeah i do Not see what you're seeing but also#thank fucking GOD we're bringing up actually relevant stuff here#like part of me is so fascinated about this. how murder seems to be the only thing that's accepted in media as a narrative tool#(and at some extent even that is too much)#but this yet again goes back to..... well what the fuck do you interact with fiction and media in the first place#when you're COMPLETELY unwilling to acknowledge any of these things as FICTION (not real) in the first place?#where your favorite character is the most morally correct and your favorite ship is the 'healthiest'?#i just wish we were able to talk about who the characters are and what their dynamic means in the show you know#instead of recycling the same reasons why it's morally 'okay' to be interested in them over and over and over and over and over and over and
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yoohyeon · 2 years ago
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Guys If you ever see me accidently reblog A*I or anything bad can you all tell me kindly instead of making a whole post insulting me and being rude like a person made 😐
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twopercentboy · 3 months ago
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,,,,
#im losing it a little bit and feel like crying but just *cant* and its making me irritated on top of wanting to cry#my last relationship... broke up with them 3 months ago didnt block them bc they owed me money (long story)#and now we're having this like- closure-ish/last conversation of our relationship (as in 'friendship')#and its been over the course of like a week now? bc we both take a day or more to respond#me bc i carefully write my msgs and make sure i hit every point i wanna make#them bc they just suck at responding and are online much less post breakup#and im the one who needs to respond now and ive been carefully thinking through our entire relationship from start to end#making sure i didnt miss anything important i want to say#and im realizing that i dont think they ever truly knew me#they made me feel very early on that i had to hide parts of myself because they were so unstable that just my negative emotions could push-#-them towards an anxiety spiral or even harming themselves#and idk how purposeful that was i dont think it was very intentional but regardless they made me feel that way#and because they only ever saw either the 'good' side of me or the very surface level bad days (like worrying about family acceptance)#i dont think they ever truly knew *me*#and instead they created this image in their head of me thats so perfect and on such a high pedestal#which only further my feeling of needed to hide the 'bad' parts of me#and its just- they've known me for like 4-5 yrs now. dated me for 2.5(?) of those. and they dont KNOW ME#and idk what to do with that.#it creates this really weird feeling in my chest and i dont know what to do with it#ive had friends in my life before who claimed to be so close to me but didnt actually know me at all#but they all had the excuse of being delusional about our relationship after only knowing me for 8 months bc they were school friends#but my ex? they knew me for ~4.5 *YEARS* they dont have that excuse. the only excuse if you can call it that is the fact they made me hide#what do i even do with this realization...#vent post
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floral-hex · 7 months ago
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health whining
Dilemma: breathing trouble. Still. For weeks. Another bad night where I’m afraid to go to sleep.
Options, if I go somewhere:
ER. No copay. Can go right now. Will most definitely feel shitty for presumably wasting their time and will probably be told to see ENT (ENT appointment in almost 2 weeks but issue is affecting me NOW).
Urgent care. There is a copay. I’ll have to wait 2 more hours. If equipment is needed (I dunno, endoscopy scopes. Who knows), they most definitely won’t have it. Will also probably tell me to go see ENT.
#I haven’t been able to figure out what’s causing these issues and I’m getting grumpy#thinking back on when I saw my primary and realizing how he really didn’t help me at all#I’ve told him over a couple appointments that I have trouble breathing and then we just kind of move past it#it’s amazing what you’ll let slide when you find a doctor that’s nice#so… nice… but ineffectual#might go back to my old dr. the one that was pretty shitty when my insurance changed#which is like… y’all were jerks to me before… but also otherwise the most responsive & helpful clinic I’ve been to#so… I could swallow my pride and go back. it was nothing to them. could be nothing to me too#put aside a dumb grudge to actually get some real help from more seasoned drs instead of this nice new baby face one#I’ve taken multiple different drugs tonight (some otc. some prescription. some other) but not much is helping#ok so basically right now I’m fixated on my tonsils and my nasal/throat area#just want someone to stick a camera down my nose + check out my tonsils (which are I think pretty big and blocking stuff)#so what do I do? I don’t want to bother the ER with this. but I keep freaking out about breathing and they have supplies urgent care doesnt#Ok I took an anti anxiety and it calmed me down a lot but I’m still hung up on breathing#I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. I don’t think there’s anything either could do to help me TODAY#I don’t think I can afford the copay anyway#ugh I’m not doing so good#you can ignore this#text
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readwritealldayallnight · 1 month ago
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I would love a take on boyfriend Ghost coming home to surprise you, but he finds your bed empty and doesn't realize that you are in his room in his bed. Thanks.
The placebo effect, was what he kept trying to convince you it had to be, no matter how many times you rolled your eyes and told him he was wrong
How else could one explain your insistence that Simon’s bed smelled so much like him, becoming your safe space when he was away on long deployments, when he only ever slept with you in your bed most nights to begin with
Hard to believe it was nearly three years ago now that you’d told your friend since childhood, Johnny, about how your search for a new flat was going miserably. You remember how he’d perked up and recounted with a mischievous glint in his eye about how his Lieutenant was apparently searching for a flat mate at the moment, someone who’d be looking after the place while he was away for work
Unsure about living with a strange man you’d never met before, but trusting Johnny’s judgement (though the way he seemed just a bit too eager about this meeting did kind of throw you off-) you had reluctantly agreed to meet with him and at least give the flat a glance before you simply turned him down
It wasn’t until you were knocking at the door of the address Johnny had written down for you, that you’d realized he’d never even given you the man’s goddamn name, only ever referring to him at Lieutenant or LT
Johnny apparently also failed to mention the absolute SIZE of the guy, his huge frame blocking nearly all of the light from behind him as he had swung the door open and stood in the doorway before you
In a slight panic, thrown off by the massive man before you and the way the butterflies in your stomach suddenly began to flutter at the sight of him, you had greeted him for the first time with a squeaky, unsure voice saying ‘Um, hi, are you the Mr Lieutenant?’ (something he has never let you live down since)
He knew then and there that you would be the one
Not just his flatmate (though what a generous flatmate he was when he offered insisted on moving all your boxes out of your old place and into his that very same day), but the one, something he reluctantly had to give Soap credit for, seeing as he was the one who wouldn’t stop talking his ear off about you
You would be his other half, his better half
And all these years later, the two bedroom flat truly only acted as a one bedroom, considering that from the start Simon was always falling into your bed with you at the end of each night, limbs tangled together under the warmth of a lovers embrace a thousand times more comforting than an actual comforter
Still though, that first time Simon had to be gone for work longer than a few weeks, you found the lingering odor of him clinging to his bedsheets to be one of the few things keeping you sane in his absence, taking to sleeping in his room for the time being, imagining that the pillow you cling to your front was a strong muscular arm instead, littered in scars and tattoos you feel confident you could recognize from touch alone
And when his long awaited flight back home to you landed a few hours earlier than expected, tires touching down in the dark, stillness of late night hour, he decided he’d surprise you and come straight home, rather than calling you to meet him at the base like you’d insisted, not wanting to wake you
Barely able to contain himself, he decided the elevator ride up to the seventh floor would take too long, take away precious seconds that brought him closer to you, and so up the flight of stairs he went, taking them two or three at a time, rushing to see the face etched behind his eyelids every time he closed his eyes, to hear the voice that haunted his dreams each night
Quietly as a man his size could, he crept into the flat, snuck his way into your room, expecting to see your sweet, sleeping form cuddled up amongst the blankets and pillows. But his heart dropped when he noticed the bed was still perfectly made, not a thread out of place.
Trying to remain calm, though his mind was instantly swarming with every possible scenario that could have taken place, he knew he saw your shoes and jacket by the door, you couldn’t have gone far… but where were you?
He glanced into the living room, wondering if he missed you sleeping on the couch after a long day, he poked his head into the bathroom, even went so far as to check the small balcony, but finally there was only one door left to open.
And there you were, safe and sound, a tiny ball curled up into the center of his huge bed, clinging to one of his old masks and holding it close to your chest as though it were a security blanket (you’d been sleeping in his bed so much you needed something that still smelled strongly of him, you were getting desperate)
Stripping himself down to only his boxers, he tiptoed towards the side of the bed, his mind finally feeling more at peace than he ever had, gently pulling the sheets back just enough for him to slip in behind you, his strong arms wrapping around your middle and pulling you into his muscular chest
Though it should be alarming to suddenly feel a pair of hands roaming over your skin, a body holding you firmly against their own, it’s as though your body knows who it is before your mind does
Any tension you were still holding onto during his absence instantly melts away, your own hands coming to land over top of his, giving a slight squeeze of acknowledgment, not yet willing to fully leave your half asleep state, but needing to touch him, to confirm he really is here
“Hmm,” You hum, voice groggy with sleep and a smile slowly stretching across your lips, snuggling further into his embrace. “You’re home.”
He presses a kiss to the top of your head, breathing you in, wishing he could bottle up the scent of your shampoo and lotions and perfumes, if only to have something to hold onto while he’s away, understanding now why he found you in this bed rather than your own
“I am.” He whispers into your hair, sensing that you’re already drifting back into dream land, safe in his arms and his bed, knowing he’ll be there when you wake. He feels his chest tighten when he knows that you weren’t talking about the fact that he’s physically home, in the flat, but something more, something much more, because he means the same thing when he tells you, “You’re my home too, love.”
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villainbait · 3 months ago
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Exclusive Favors
Pairing: Sylus x MC / fem!reader Rating: PG-13 Tags: who did this to you, hurt, comfort, hurt/comfort, injury, implied violence, brief violence mentions, angst, canon sylus behavior, blood mentions, kissing if you squint Summary: You barely survived a night on your own in the N109 Zone without the watchful gaze of certain Onychinus leader, but at what cost? Word Count: 1.5k
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The dull sound of your door closing was like the snap of a final curtain call falling into place and you slumped against it, relieved to be safely in your own apartment. You had survived a night in the N109 Zone on your own, but it had been a near miss. One you wouldn’t be repeating, especially since the intel you wanted had been a bust, anyway. 
You touched your side, your breathing uneven, and you wince. You definitely have a cracked rib. You try to take a deep breath and pain radiates from your chest into your stomach, making you a little nauseous. Okay, maybe two.
You were trying to psych yourself up to move and trudge into your apartment to give yourself much needed medical attention when the reverberating shock of someone's forceful knock bounced you against your door-frame. You consider not answering the insistent caller on the other side, but a muffled, familiar baritone floats through the door.
"Open the door, sweetie."
A sigh left your lips at the demand and you tried to stifle the pathetic, painful whimper that your exasperation cost you. Of all the people on the other side of that door, Sylus was the most unexpected. Or maybe not, considering he boasted that he knew everything that went on in his territory. Maybe that’s why he was here and if it was, he wouldn’t leave until his curiosity was satisfied.
The door cracks open and you stare up at him through the hole you made, reluctant to allow him entrance and to partially block his view of the damage those thugs had caused when they mugged you in the alleyway earlier tonight. However, Sylus’s easy smile is nowhere to be found and the frown lines on his forehead are the deepest you've ever seen them. His large hand wraps around the door-frame so you can’t close it again and he pushes gently against it, but you don’t budge. 
"Who did this to you?" His tone is dangerously low.
You ignore his question, instead poking your head out to look down the deserted hallway of your apartment building. "Why are you here? It's dangerous." It was risky for Sylus to wander around Linkon City normally, even if he claimed many people didn't know what he actually looked like. However, the Hunter’s Association did and your building was crawling with employees at all hours of the day and night.
"You didn't answer your phone, so I got worried."
Oh right, you had forgotten they had taken that too. You sighed again, the pain of having to replace everything beginning to give you a headache. That key charm Zayne had given you for your birthday was perhaps the worst thing to have lost, maybe more than the phone itself.
"Let me in, kitten." Sylus’s voice is gently cajoling and you concede because you're too tired to argue with him tonight. So you open the door and  try to act normal, but your voice is far too lighthearted for how heavy your legs feel as you trudge into the apartment. 
“You know, if you keep frowning like that you’ll get wrinkles and people really will think you’re an old man.” 
He follows you in with a small chuckle, his eyes bouncing around the room as if the perpetrators could be hiding in the shadows. When you grabbed the first aid kit and sat down to tend to your injuries, Sylus was suddenly there, kneeling in front of you. His hands push yours out of the way and he silently takes over the job of nurse, and you think about fighting him as you watch him roll up his shirtsleeves but realize you were just too exhausted to care. 
“What happened?” He asks eventually and you realize you will have to tell him something. Lying won’t work, he’ll find out if he didn’t already know. 
“What often happens when you end up in the wrong place at the wrong time in the N109 Zone, Sylus.” You offer with a single shrug, doing your best to sit still while he cleans the wound on your arm. “You know that better than me.” 
“Were you wearing–” he was referring to the brooch that signified your status as protected. 
“They took that too.” His hands stilled on the bandage he was applying on your forearm. “Did they, now?” he murmured silkily and you saw a muscle in his jaw tick, though his expression was partially obscured by his unruly hair. “After all that trouble I went through, too.” You tried to make a joke to ease the tension which earned you a soft amused twitch of Sylus’s lips. He was too angry to truly smile and you could feel it radiating off of him in waves. Despite that, his hands were painstakingly gentle as he touched what was clearly a blossoming bruise around your wrist. Sylus’s tender touch lingers on your injuries and he checks each one with a thoroughness that feels as if he’s memorizing exactly where you were hurt. 
He orders some of your favorite food, helps you get cleaned up, and tucks you into your bed. He points to the notepad you kept by your bedside table that you sometimes scribble notes on when you took calls. “Make me a list of what they looked like, and then go to bed. I’ll take care of the rest.” Before you could protest, he left the room abruptly. You picked up the notepad and stared at the print of the cute little animals dancing around the top. You’d bought it on a whim after seeing how cute it looked in a stationary shop window near one of your mission sites. It seemed too obscene to write what would virtually be a hit list on such charming paper. 
Instead, you scribble all of the reasons you’re grateful for today. Right at the top was that you had survived all on your own in the N109 Zone and you were able to see the infamous Onychinus leader kneeling at your feet. The list grew as you included the tasty food you ate earlier, and the glimpse of a suspiciously familiar crow you saw on your way into work this morning. The page was halfway filled when the pain medication Sylus had convinced you to take started to kick in and you felt your eyelids drooping. 
Drowsily, you snuggle down underneath your covers and clutch the plushie Sylus and you had won at the arcade last weekend. When you hear the distant muffled click of your door opening, you try to rouse yourself but you felt so warm and your body felt so heavy that you couldn’t manage it. That doesn’t stop you from trying until a large hand gently smoothed back your mussed hair, and the sensation of soft knuckles trace the curve of your cheek. “It’s just me,” the familiar voice murmured and you tried to speak but he shushed you. “Sleep, kitten.” 
You swear you felt the ghost of his lips on yours before he was gone, but maybe it was just part of the hazy dream you had of crows, violence, and enchanting sanguine eyes. 
Sylus returns to the N109 Zone and finds himself staring at the “list,” a bemused smile on his face. He shakes his head and tucks the cutesy page into his pocket. You were far too adorable and it made what he was about to do that much more satisfying, sauntering into the abandoned warehouse where your phone had last pinged; deceptively calm. The screams and stench of death shuddered throughout the N109 Zone tonight, serving as a violent and bloody reminder to all that no one should dare to touch what was his lest they face the consequences. 
Sometime in the early hours of the morning, your fingers fumble for your buzzing phone and land on the familiar outline of the brooch, both in their normal places as if yesterday was just a bad dream. Through your sleepy daze, you realize your other hand is occupied–as is your bed. Turning, you’re surprised to find Sylus is fast asleep next to you, his hand intertwined tightly with yours. There’s deep circles under his eyes, but his normally furrowed brow is smoothed out in sleep. With a sleepy smile, you curl back up to let him rest a little while longer, tucking your joined hands against your chest, cuddling his arm.
You both doze off together, and you’ve never felt so safe.
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yoyomomiko · 1 month ago
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☆ : They're jealous ×
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characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Ace
cw: jealousy (is that supposed to be a warning??), probably ooc, cringe, not proofread, probably contains grammar mistakes, english isn't my first language!!
(a/n): This is like, my first time writing for one piece characters specifically😀 I'm barely in Alabasta but I cannot wait until I finish one piece so that I can write for it😔 ACE IS A NEED UGH -> m.list
★requests are open!!
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LUFFY
Luffy doesn't understand jealousy at first and will simply blurt out "Why are you talking to him so much?" without realizing it sounds possessive.
Believe it or not, he can get VERY possessive. You're pretty much just as valuable as his hat, you're his treasure.
That's right, his treasure.
So then, why are you talking to that donkey faced man? He's so ugly, why would you even bother wasting your breath speaking to him?
He'll cling to you like glue, throwing an arm around your shoulders or holding your hand tightly while pouting.
When Luffy's jealous he starts getting loud, making exaggerated jokes or showing off just to grab your attention.
Complains to the rest of the crew (probably Usopp or Nami), asking things like "Why does she want to talk to him when I'm right here?"
He completely interrupts your conversation with the other person by inserting himself, I just kinda feel like he'd do that.
WILL demand you sit next to him at meals and get grumpy if you sit by someone else.
He can't stay mad for long, the SECOND you give him attention, he lights up again as if nothing happened.
If the other person makes you laugh, he'll immediately try to one up them by doing something goofy, trust me, I know
He will casually lean on you or put his hat on your head as a possessive gesture (LUFFY THE MAN YOU ARE)
He's so childish
ZORO
Zoro acts nonchalant but is secretly FUMING inside when someone gets too close to you.
Glares daggers at the other person, making them incredibly uncomfortable without saying a word, he's just like that
Crosses his arms and stands near you as if silently asserting dominance (ugh I need him)
He gets extra grumpy with Sanji or anyone else he sees as competition, throwing insults their way.
He physically can't hide his annoyance and mutters things under his breath like "Tch, what's so interesting about him?"
If you laugh at someone else's joke he's gonna be like "It wasn't that funny."
I feel like he gets jealous if someone compliments you, but instead of complimenting you himself, he'll grumble like "You don't need to hear that from him."
WILL position himself between you and the other person, silently blocking them from getting closer.
I think he lowkey gets clingy after cooling down his jealousy, sticking close to you but pretending it's no big deal.
When you reassure him, he'll pretend it didn’t bother him, saying stuff like "Whatever, it's not like I cared." But deep down, he's RELIEVED.
SANJI
Lord have mercy
Sanji gets visibly jealous and is UNABLE to hide it with his dramatic reactions
He definitely calls the other person out immediately, saying things like "Why are you bothering her, huh?"
He tries to pull your attention back to him by showering you with compliments and affection.
He starts offering to cook your favorite dishes after that, just to make himself seem more worthy than moss head over there
If the other person is flirting, Sanji will step in and sweet talk to you SO passionately it makes the other person back off (simp power??)
He dramatically smokes while muttering "How could she look at someone else when I'm right here..."
Tries to outdo the other person in everything, just to show he's better
WILL ask you "Do you think he's better than me?" with puppy dog eyes
100% gets extremely competitive with Zoro (if it's him you're giving attention to) insulting him while trying to impress you
When reassured, he's back to his usual lovestruck self and saying "I knew you couldn't resist me, my angel!"
Sanji just wants to feel like he's your number one, and your affection always melts his jealousy away.
ACE
MY MAN UGHH
HE'S THE REASON I STARTED ONE PIECE IN THE FIRST PLACE
Anywayss
Ace tries to play it cool, but his temper makes his jealousy pretty obvious.
If someone flirts with you, he'll casually throw an arm around your shoulders and say "She's taken, by the way."
Speaking of throwing, he definitely picks you up and completely THROWS you over his shoulder. It doesn't matter how tall you are or how much you weigh, he ALWAYS manhandles you.
His freckles make it easy to spot when he's blushing out of jealousy or frustration (UGH😫)
He gets restless and starts fidgeting, for example bouncing his leg while watching you talk to someone else (is that my seat right there?)
Stares at the person with a smirk that doesn't quite hide his irritation, daring them to push their luck (you know that one scene in Alabasta where that giant scorpion was in front of him and Ace was like "I wouldn't if I were you" or something like that? Yeah, that's right🤭)
If someone compliments you, he'll immediately agree and add "Yeah, but I noticed that first."
UGH KICKING MY FEET😣
Can get surprisingly moody, muttering things like "What's so special about him, anyway?"
Might act a little childish, poking fun at the other person
WILL casually flex his strength or abilities if he feels the need to, like lighting a flame in his hand and saying "Bet he can't do this huh?"
If you reassure him or show him affection, he'll relax immediately, grinning and saying something like "Yeah, I knew you couldn't resist me."
And he's smirking at you with that stupid handsome face (I need him🚨)
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★yoyomiko ★miko
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claire-starsword · 8 days ago
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not entirely happy with mead design-wise, i feel the hair shape is not quite there, but as far as the centaur issues go? this is stellar improvement
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*shrek voice* they don't even have tails
#shining force final conflict#final conflict hacking#sffc mead#gif#sorry that the gifs don't loop well. i was too busy squealing to be competent#because yesterday this wasn't looking so promising i was losing a good 30 bytes#which i think wouldn't be a problem there seems to be around 300 empty bytes in this block that i'm assuming are free to expand upon#however not having to test that assumption would be even better#and also having each character fit right away lets me test them one by one instead of having everyone depend on each other too much#to the point where changing a character could cause massive problems down the road#anyway the fun part i'm realizing is that my sprites compress better because i'm giving the characters weapons#and with that i remove the limb movement since i feel it makes more sense for them to keep them stable#this makes the front and back frames very similar and i think that's what's helping here#and it's very fun to think about it because yeah you could say the animation is less elaborate now#but that hardly means anything to me when it makes sense in context and the weapons actually add a lot of charm#same for the head bobbing i always find it weird when a walking animation doesn't have it#like yeah it adds a little blur sometimes but i don't think they're going fast enough for it to look bad#so yeah it's just a cool look on how much retro limitations can impact something and where do they not actually#the side animation here did cost me bytes though. 24 to be exact. the others and ian's just happened to compensate enough for it#that's it for today's ramblings on the centaur tail to byte economy#important stuff
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ozzgin · 5 months ago
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WAIT WAIT WAIT!!! I have an ask for Yandere School! What if, Y/N finally did become a yandere for someone, BUT Y/N is the 'never lets on' type of yandere?
There's no change in Y/N's grades, no change in demeanor, they still act- or maybe in this case- pretends to be innocent and oblivious to everyone, especially their crush (Y/N might abuse the fact that they're known as the worst Yandere student who acts more like a Darling, to gain their trust before they realize it's too late). The extreme obsession is there, but it's just not noticeable enough.
How will they react if Y/N shows subtle signs of being a yandere? Will they actually believe Y/N finally became a yandere, or will they have doubts? This is just optional, but imagine Y/N became obsessed with a yandere, but both of them didn't knew they're yandere to each other, so they always unintentionally end up sabotaging each other's plans (ex. both Y/N and the yandere are asleep on the table, because they spiked each other's drinks. The Yandere is genuinely confused and had been trying to stalk find Y/N for hours, unbeknownst to them Y/N is secretly following behind them all along)
Soo this is yet another Clumsy!Yandere crossover, but it just makes a lot of sense to me. Hear me out.
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You’re consistently failing classes and struggling to keep up with your peers. Everyone finds it cute, however, and it's a fantastic excuse to get closer to you.
Then the Yandere School x Darling Academy event happens. You immediately take the initiative and pair up with your best friend, Clumsy!Yandere. And that’s when things take an unexpected turn.
It turns out that when it comes to Clumsy!Yandere, you can be extremely protective. You don’t even realize it. In your eyes, you’re just looking after your sweetheart. To everyone else, you’re flawlessly executing the role of a yandere.
The other fellow students can only stare in disbelief, watching you as you figure out things you were previously clueless about.
“I c-could do the yandere part”, your clumsy partner suggests with feigned confidence.
Oh, no. You know how competitive your classmates are. No way you’d ever allow him to potentially get hurt. Not on your watch.
Were you always this good of a yandere?
When the teachers ask you to replicate that same performance, you have no idea what they’re talking about. You’re back to your pathetic, helpless self. A paradox yet to be deciphered by your peers.
“That damn pest”, one classmate curses out, pocket knife sneakily hidden as they wait around the corner ahead of Darling Academy.
They can’t take it anymore. The way you look at him, the way your voice softens whenever you speak to him…it should be them instead! What has he done to deserve your grace? He needs to be dealt with.
“Enjoying your walk?”
The student jolts in surprise and turns around. It’s you. Yet you look different this time. Your smile is cold, and your eyes have an eerie glisten to them.
“H-how did you know where I-”
“I don’t think you’re supposed to be this close to Darling Academy. I suggest you leave.”
“Are you going to tell the teachers?”
“Teachers? Nonsense. I can take care of you myself", you say mechanically, blocking their path.
An abrupt shiver crosses their spine, and they scramble. Revenge will have to be postponed for now.
Moments later, Clumsy!Yandere greets you with a cheerful smile.
"I hope you weren't waiting too long. Shall I walk you home?" he proposes with a blush. Your answer doesn't really matter, truth be told. He will follow you either way. How else is he meant to guarantee your safety?
You'd be lost without him.
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[Yandere School] | [Clumsy!Yandere]
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