#like you say youre a part of this and that you know so much. but you clearly know nothing about this community. you do not interact with it
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intromortal · 2 days ago
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ENHYPEN OT6 DEAL WITH YOUR OVULATION
part 1
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⚠︎ smut. mdni. breeding kink for most, pet names, so much praise, p in v, size kink for hee's and hoon's, bulge kink for hee's, daddy kink for jay's, oral fem receiving and overstim for jake's, mentions of pain and nipple play for hoon's, video call sex for sunoo's, mean won, pet play and degradation for won's.
nia note ! this should have been out forever ago but it's me... so. this is for @heehoonies 🫵 bc i know you wanted it, and my baby @sleepyhoon
HEESEUNG | thinks he might be in heaven. you’re squeezing him tighter than you ever have, sounding like an angel under him as he presses his hips snugly against yours. he’s already so deep inside you, but he pushes his cock to reach even deeper, taking one of your legs and throwing it over his shoulder so he can fuck into you just like he wants to, his bangs falling over his eyes with the motion.
“you sound even wetter now that you’re under me, babydoll,” he gasps into your neck, hips never once faltering despite how hard you’re squeezing him. “sending me your pretty moans when i’m out with the guys… you’re so desperate to be filled up with cum, mhh angel, aren't you?”
you clench even tighter around his girth at the cute pet name he’d taken a liking to using with you. he loves calling you his sweet little angel.
“of course you are.” heeseung snickers, sliding his hand over your tummy, pushing against it to feel his bulge repeatedly fuck into your heat. his mouth is hanging open at the sight. you look so fucked out under him, grabbing and clawing at the bedsheets because when you think he’s finally pushed all the way in, he still gives you more. “so fucking deep babydoll… i’m gonna get you all nice and pregnant.”
JAY | just like promised, made up some bullshit excuse on the spot to leave work so he could come home and give you all the attention you craved so desperately.
“so desperate for cock you forgot your manners?” jay says, his tone stern. he lifts up your skirt to reveal your bare glistening cunt, no panties. “we can’t have that now. can we, pretty girl?”
“please daddy?” you look up to him, lashes all wet and darker from the tears of frustration that had welled up in your eyes while waiting for him.
“please what, angel?”
“please fuck me?” you sound so embarrassed, jay’s cock twitches in his hand. still his pretty shy girl even when you’re so desperate and begging for him.
“you said no condom, right baby? gonna let me feel your raw pussy?”
you nod, bottom lip caught between your teeth as you watch your boyfriend spit on his own cock, hand spreading the wetness on his entire length before he positions it at your entrance, his other hand gripping on your bunched up skirt until his knuckles turn white. your mouth waters at the thought of his cum down your throat, a treat he never fails to give you, pulling out of you to let your mouth finish him off whenever he’s close. this time though, he has different plans.
JAKE | likes to spend entire hours nestled between your thighs, lapping away at your cunt like he might never get another chance to in his life. and it’s nothing new really, but he somehow gets even needier for your pretty pussy to gush around his tongue whenever you’re ovulating, if that’s even possible.
“fuck baby, you’re so much wetter than usual,” he moans against your inner thigh, sloppily licking away at the skin of it before going back to suck on your clit. “gonna come around my tongue again?”
you’ve lost count of how many times he has already made you do just that, promising with a pout that it’s for real the last time, just to have you spread out on the couch for him again in a matter of minutes.
“so, so fucking sweet. wanna stay here forever.” he’s basically making out with your cunt, drooling all over as he draws orgasm after orgasm out of you. and you don’t even know when your high starts or ends anymore, pain so good you just have to lay there for him. you’re barely coherent when he comes up to your face, tongue pushing against your own in a messy, wet kiss. and you taste yourself on him, just like he promised. “taste how sweet you are baby? and you wanna deprive me of this?”
SUNGHOON | has you on his lap, thick cock pushing to make space in your snug heat with difficulty. you don’t think you’ll ever get used to how thick his girth feels inside you, stretching you out like no one has ever done before. ruining you for every other man, like he likes to say. you also won’t lie and say you don’t love it. the burning pain feels good once you start getting used to it, but the best part is how his soothing words guide and heal you all throughout it.
“this tiny kitty can barely handle me,” he whispers, strong big arms sneaking around your back to hold you flush against him, his face dipped down to kiss all over your stomach as you slowly sink down onto him. “but you’re so good baby, taking me so well mhh?”
“hoonie… h-hurts.”
“i know that pretty, i know that. but you wanna make me proud don’t you? wanna make hoonie feel so good?”
and you can’t do anything but nod, a small tear slipping past the corner of your eye when he takes your nipples in his mouth, warm tongue toying with the cold bars of the piercings, moaning around your skin when your breath hitches in your throat. you nod because even when it hurts, you know he’s gonna make it feel so good later.
SUNOO | cooes at you when you finally answer his video call and he’s met with the picture of you, hair all messy and forehead all sweaty, with your hands in your panties. he can’t help it when you’re so cute, unable to get off without his help.
he fluffs up a pillow behind him and rests on it, thick glass frames falling down the bridge of his nose and a playful smirk on his plump lips. “can’t come without me, princess?” it’s even more embarrassing to hear him say it out loud, but he’s not wrong. “pull your panties to the side and show me then. show me how badly you want me to fill you up.”
you do, fumbling to give him the best possible view before he even thinks to ask again. you make it a point to spread your cunt open for him to see, revelling in the low guttural moan you steal from him, a shiver running right down to your tummy when you notice how his arm is moving, hoping he’s palming himself to the sight of you. you hope he’ll be nice enough to let you see.
“now i’ll tell you exactly what to do. how to touch yourself properly.” he bites down on his bottom lip when he hears the obscene sounds your wet cunt is making, and he wishes for nothing more than for you to be there with him, not through a screen. “in exchange, when i come back, you’ll let me fill up that pretty pussy of yours how many times i want to. isn’t that right princess?”
JUNGWON | hates when you get an attitude, and he acts like he hates having to put you back in your place, but deep down you both know he loves it, and you do too.
“talking to me like that,’ he says, voice so much lower than usual, as he thrusts into you with an erratic rhythm. your cunt is still sore from the spanks he gave you earlier, and his balls slapping against it as he takes you from behind are doing nothing to soothe you. “so horny you forgot your manners? you’re such a dumb little bunny.”
his cock is pressing so deep inside you, it all feels too much, but not enough at the same time. so you push your hips against his pelvis, trying to take in even more. “god, you’re so pathetic,” he laughs incredulously, punctuating his sentence by pushing his length all the way inside you, keeping his hips flush against the fat of your ass, pushing you forward until your front collapses on the bed. your breath is knocked out of lungs, but you get no time to recover because he grabs a fistful of your hair and speaks right into your ear, voice low and dangerous, “you’re my little pet. my bunny to discipline, and my bunny to fuck and breed. got that?”
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shouyuus · 2 days ago
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please i BEG you to do a part two of the college roommate!vi when she says “dont wake me up this early for breakfast unless you’re offering yourself” (or however it was said) but the reader decides to try and test it and stands in the most revealing pajamas (or even subtle lingerie) and is like “would you care for some breakfast?” and gestures to herself (or whatever you wanna write!!)
18+, mdni, college roommate!vi cinematic universe vague continuation of this drabble
"vi...? are you up?"
you push through her bedroom door, peering around it at the vaguely vi-shaped lump of pink hair and muscle splayed over messy sheets. she lets out a soft grunt, voice scratchy as she pushes up onto her elbows.
"yeah? what's up prin -- oh... shit..." her eyebrows shoot up as you link your hands behind your back, chewing on your bottom lip, eyes cutting away shyly as you rock on the balls of your feet.
and suddenly, vi is very much awake, because there you are, framed in her doorway in the most delectable pink and white lingerie set she's ever seen -- all delicate satin and tiny bows. she gulps, her mouth dry.
"what's all this, sweet girl?"
you tug at the hem of your nearly transparent babydoll as she groans, running a hand through her hair.
"uhm... i know it's early, but --" you worry at your bottom lip before glancing shyly up at her again, "remember that one time i woke you up and you said something like 'don't wake me up this early unless you're offering yourself for breakfast' or something like that?"
vi blinks at you for a solid three seconds before she slumps back into bed with a hoarse laugh, "holy shit -- oh my god -- i did say that, didn't i?"
"mhm..."
"so now..." she sits back up with a dopey grin, patting her mattress, "you're...?" she lets her voice trail off suggestively even as you shuffle forward to slip onto her narrow bed with her. she lets out a low, appreciative moan as she looks you over, her gaze dark and hungry; she doesn't bother hiding the way they linger over your semi-exposed tits or the way her throat bobs as she reaches out to pull you into her lap.
"happy... birthday?" you say, your voice breaking slightly as her palms slide up the smooth skin of your thighs, her fingers already toying with the thin straps of the tiny little thong that's little more than three silken pieces of string connected by identical pink bows.
"mm... oh yeah. that's today, isn't it?" she says, but her voice is distracted as she leans in to press a soft kiss to your collarbone. you gasp, letting your head tip back as she mouths at your skin, running reverent hands up to the bend of your waist, hoisting you up till you're straddling her hips proper.
"y-yeah... and i th-thought -- ah -- y-you --" you let out a pitched whine as she skims her teeth along your collarbones, grinning wolfishly up at you as you tangle your fingers in her hair.
"that you'd surprise me with breakfast in bed?" she asks, hissing as she rocks you down over her, rolling your hips into hers.
"s-something like that --" you breathe out, swallowing hard as she smiles and cradles you to her, touch soft even as she trails needy kisses up the length of your neck till she reaches your lips.
"fuck -- you're so hot -- jesus --" she murmurs, peppering you in open-mouthed kisses, pressing you back till you're pinned beneath her.
"mm -- ngh -- v-violet!"
"shit," vi swears, looking down at you from beneath hooded eyes, her lips parted and pink, her fingers rucking up the thin material of your babydoll so she can tug the thin string of your thong to the side to reveal your already slick folds.
you whimper as she leans down to trail her lips along your stomach, kissing down to hover her mouth over your cunt. she looks up at you and with a teasing smirk and a wink, running a finger through your wetness to tease at your throbbing clit.
"mm -- hell yeah -- happy fuckin' birthday to me," she says, before she lowers her mouth to you and parts you with her tongue.
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gojosprettyprincess · 3 days ago
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Tw - Katsuki is soo mean, rough sex, degradation n manhandling. Not proofread!
One thing about Katsuki, he's an impatient man, that's for sure. There wasn’t any “Katsuki can i try to ride you” or “pleaseee just let me do it by myself” none of that. He had enough of your shit.
He tsks mockingly, a derisive sound escaping his lips the moment his keen eyes detect that the rhythm of your alluring ass that’s bouncing on his cock becoming duller and slower. He's so fucking disappointed in himself for even giving you the chance to try and ride him.
How dumb.
What a waste of time.
He quickly grabs both of your supple asscheeks, his strong hands creating a sense of urgency as he firmly squeezes them, preventing you from moving away. He impatiently starts thrusting his hips up into you, entering you in one complete motion. The sudden force of his entire length, which you weren't even able to fit by yourself, invading your little pussy so easily made you squirm to quickly get a hold of his broad shoulders to steady yourself because you knew how fucking crazy he was when it came to with manhandling.
His crimson-red eyes locked onto your contouring features, swallowing up your adorable reactions with pure joy. He just loves bullying you like this. Katsuki was a wonderful partner, devoted, wealthy, and maybe not the most mature, but he was unquestionably aware of right from wrong when it comes to relationships. The only thing is, he’s just so so cruel and vulgar to you sometimes, especially during sex. Bakugou always had a huge ego and prideful personality so you can't say you were surprised before tangling yourself up with him.
When the early morning light streamed through the window, his routine began before even taking a bite of the breakfast you made, pumping your warm cunny full of cum before heading off to fulfill his manly responsibilities as a pro-hero. "Better keep my cum buried in this pussy, you got it?" he commanded sternly, his warm breath fanning against the delicate skin of your neck as you mewled at the harsh way the edge of the dinner table was digging into your poor abdomen. Crossing your thighs together so you could avoid any spillage of his sperm because you know he’d check when you go deliver his home-cooked lunch at his agency later in the day. And if you make one wrong move, you’ll be limping your way out of his agency.
Whether you like it or not, katsuki will always be mean when he’s fucking you. It’s a part of him, you’ve known that just by the way he acted. Always had an feisty attitude and angry issues with everyone around him but the difference is you fucking loved it, and of course he knew that, that’s why he indulges in it and constantly reminds you every single time how much of a horny little cock-whore you are, pussy slobbering uncontrollably all over his pretty cock like a nasty slut. The rim of your hole clinging onto his dick as if your life depended on it. It hasn’t even been five second since he walked through the door from work, still clad in his hero costume before his hard dick is nestled in his housewife's warm, runny sex.
Your pink panties slackly pulled to the side, revealing your tight hole for his vicious assault as he ruthlessly positioned himself to take advantage of your vulnerable state.
His gears and pants rubbing against the smooth flesh of your thighs, harshly marking it red. Poor Katsuki he couldn’t save a civilian from a villain attack today and now he’s so frustrated and mad so what better way to vent than abusing his pretty housewife’s comforting cunt? :(
“Tight fucking pussy, yer creaming all over me already. Bet you were thinking about my cock splitting you open the entire day, weren’t you princess?” He laughed tauntingly, his angry cock curving right into your g-spot making your toes curl in the air as his strong, big hands held an astonishingly tight grip on your waist to keep you off the floor while you bent over his marble counter. You always found it so sexy when Katsuki showed off his strength to you, after all, he’s one of the most strongest pro-heroes so of course he’d be unbelievably strong. You went crazy over it.
“Sukii– m’gonna fuck! Cum” you cried out, tears streaming down your eyes as his fat cock delved deeper into your core, repeatedly hitting your sweet spot over and over again, sending you into a daze as you lose your mind. “No, you fucking slut— always being such a greedy bitch. You’re not cumming until I’m ready to fill you up, ya hear me?” his tone was so serious, it sent shivers down your spine.
You quickly gripped the edge of the counter. Your soft, plush ass bouncing back against his hard pelvis with each forceful thrust. God, he loved the sight so much, he licked his lips at the delicious sight of the creamy mess you were creating, completely coating him and his balls with your juices. It made his cock throb against your walls at the lewd way your quirkless pussy was rightfully swallowing him in.
“Katsuki I–“ you stammered, struggling to find your words as fear washed over you. Your hole fluttered around him, you were seeing white at this point. Your inner muscles involuntarily clasped tightly around his length. You couldn’t help it, his cock was just so fucking long and thick, and well he knew how to skillfully use it that it made you become undone within five minutes. Your eyes bulged open with fear as the streaming white liquid from your cunt spattered onto his cock and thighs and onto his expensive marble floor. The action didn’t go unnoticed by him resulting in him quickly placing you down on the slick floor and violently smacking your fleshy ass, making it recoil against his touch as he groaned. “God, you’re such a dumb fucking slut, what did I tell you? Can’t even understand simple instructions that I give you”.
He swiftly extracted his cock from your soaked pussy and hoisted you over his huge shoulder before making his way to your shared bedroom. You cried out as your cunt twitched in anticipation as echoes of his firm, resounding spanks on your bruised ass reverberated through the room with each step he took, “M’gonna teach you a fucking lesson, better make sure this is the last time you fucking disobey me”.
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moody-alcoholic · 2 days ago
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Literally obsessed with poly 141 x reader. Part 2
141 are called to the hospital after you’re picked up by paramedics after a drunken work party. 
Heed the warnings.
CW: dead dove don't eat, alleged assault, alleged sexual assault, alleged non-con drugging, hurt/comfort, medial stuff, description of injuries.
---
John is your emergency contact. He’s the captain, the leader, he can take charge and make sure everyone does their job. You were still confused, heaving into a bag as the paramedic was asking about who to call.
It was a work party, you only had a few drinks. You’re not sure what happened, you were talking with a coworker. The next thing you know there are strangers around, you’re outside down an alley, the cold London air making you shiver. 
“How much have you had to drink tonight?” The female paramedic asks. Your head is swimming, your body is sore. You have no idea where you are or what happened. Panic rises in your chest, you look up at her. She has kind eyes. 
“I don’t know.” You slur. Your body feels heavy. The adrenaline that was pumping through your system is wearing off. 
You don’t remember what happens next, all you hear is the screeching noise of sirens. 
—-----------------
John’s heart is racing in his chest. Johnny and Kyle are sitting in silence in the back seats of the car they all rushed into after the call. John looks over at Simon, his knuckles turning white as he grips the steering wheel. 
“Park up, we’ll meet you inside.” John says as Simon pulls into the parking garage. He stops the car and everyone but Simon gets out heading into the hospital’s A&E entrance. Price makes a b-line for the front desk. Johnny and Kyle follow as he asks for you and what room you’re in.
The nurse has barely finished telling him when he’s nodding and making his way through the doors to the main ward. It doesn’t take him long to find your bay. He pulls the curtain back looking at you curled up in the bed. 
Your face is raw, your left eye is red and swollen, your neck bruised. The stunning red dress you left the house in torn, exposing your skin littered with marks. His stomach turns, he can see in your eyes you’re out of it. Reaching out for Johnny as he comes over to you.  
You hardly register them coming in, your head still swimming as you turn to look at them. Familiar hands touch your skin. Johnny’s fingers coming to your face, brushing hair behind your ears.
“Hi.” You say smiling up at him.  
“Hey lass, what’ve you been up to then?” He asks as Kyle comes over to the other side of the bed lacing his fingers with yours. 
Silent glances are shared around the room. John’s presence is unavoidable, he stands at the end of the bed, his arms crossed as Johnny and Kyle fuss over you. 
A nurse comes into the room. John turns to talk to her, she explains what they’ve done so far. Your injuries are consistent with sexual assault, date rape. The police will be here soon. 
The words from the nurse's mouth seem to change the energy in the room. It’s like a rehearsed dance they’ve been practicing for. Maybe it’s the fact they're military and used to working under pressure, or maybe it’s just the fact it’s you, laid in a hospital bed. 
John immediately takes up the role of leader-captain-in an instant. Johnny stays by your side holding your hand caressing your face, telling you not to worry. His kind eyes and warm smile distracts you from the commotion going on in your room. 
John’s voice is low as he gives out orders. Kyle is incharge of intel gathering coming over to talk to you, rubbing your arm letting Johnny comfort you as he asks you simple questions. You don’t remember much but you enjoy his touch.
When Simon comes in the mood shifts. 
You watch as he comes over to you. Johnny steps back letting him cup your cheek, his eyes scan your face, pulling your chin up to look at him. His eyes are hard, his lips pressed together. He kisses your forehead before moving back to the end of the bed. 
Johnny is back with his smile and soft touches as he brushes your face careful to avoid the sensitive areas. You’re sleepy, your eyes drooping as you relax into bed. 
“Tired?” Johnny asks, pulling the sheets over you. You nod before turning your head to look over the end of the bed. Simon's eyes are still on you as John talks. You’re not listening to what they’re saying. Kyle moves over, his attention turns to John. 
“What are they doing?” You ask, your words still slurred.
“Don’t worry ‘bout them love. They’ve got work to do.” You watch as Simon pulls a mask up over his nose before he and Kyle leave the room. 
You look over at Johnny smiling. John walks over resting his hand on your leg. 
“You’re okay lass, we’re here now.” He says his thumb brushing your cheek as your eyes fall closed.
----
Someone stop me...
Part 2
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notquitecanon · 2 days ago
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Search History // Poly!141 x Reader
A continuation of this thought
Summary: Reader (based loosely on Penelope Garcia from Criminal Minds) has to be face-to-face with the boys for the first time since they started including her in their late-night fantasies. They've decided it's time to take it off-screen and move in IRL.
I'm taggin the peeps who replied to the last part bc I'm desperate for attention lol (in all actuality y'all really encouraged me to actually write thank you!!)
CW: allusions to porn, allusions to female genitalia, they're all horny in the workplace, this is basically workplace harassment but we're excusing it because they're hot and fictional and I say so, no outright smut
Still nsfw though so MDNI pls and thanks
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“The 141 just touched down. ETA twenty minutes.” 
Your eyes flicked up from the muted video on your monitor, cheeks flushed red but masked by the light radiating off your screen in your dark office. Thank God, your monitor faced away from the door. A young private was standing in the doorway with a tablet, looking at you for an acknowledgment, probably running about starting preparations for their arrival back on home base. 
“Thank you, private.” You murmured, teeth toying at your thumbnail, chipping the polish. The young soldier gave a short nod at the quiet dismissal and disappeared once again. Your eyes, with embarrassingly blown pupils, flicked back to the video. 
After your discovery two weeks ago, the sites and links you had to review furthered down the rabbit hole. And this video you were currently watching had been one that all the men had been visiting, and revisiting, and revisiting… 
By god, they’d done it. 
Similar build, skin tone only a shade or two different - you could probably share foundation and it wouldn’t look too bad. Hair and eye color so close it was uncanny. And when the woman looked over her shoulder at the mountain of a man hitting it from the back, the angle made the resemblance almost scarily uncanny.  The Had you had a porn career and simply forgotten?- kind of uncanny. 
Sure there were differences- she was a little taller, maybe a bit leaner, with boobs that had definitely had some work done. Tattoos where your skin was bare and vice versa, different piercings. Her voice was pitched different, and her accent was completely different from yours but within three minutes of the video she’d stopped speaking words, so accent didn’t matter much.  But as far as porn actresses went- she might as well be your twin. 
It seemed the 141 had perused her entire.. filmography. Different videos, different scenarios, different partners. They all had videos they seemed to like better than others. Soap seemed to particularly like the POV video where the man had a thick Scottish accent. Gaz had bookmarked a soft-core bondage and forced orgasm scene. Price, a shorter video of an unseen man pushing the actress under a desk for oral, and Ghost… the only link he’d visited was your instagram. It was hard not to let it stroke your ego a little bit. 
God, if you told anyone about this… They’d tell you to file a workplace harassment suit, and maybe a police report.  To start job hunting, and therapist hunting. Distance yourself. You should have been embarrassed or uncomfortable- you knew you should be. That you should feel objectified or disrespected, disgusted. 
But hell, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t send yourself the links and watched them in your free time at home. It was hot- turned you on in an almost concerning way that would set feminism back twenty years if you told anyone. 
The video kept playing on your monitor, one of the videos that Soap had visited more than once (little did you know it was one that Ghost had picked out). A gloved hand smoothly glided down the actress's spine before curving around her throat and pulling her upright on the man’s lap, filthy praises in a British accent playing through your single AirPod. 
“Holy shit…”  You muttered, thighs clenching because if you squinted it really did look like you, even some of her mannerisms. And the rough accent was like a mix of Ghost's and Price’s. 
Abruptly, you shut down the entire monitor completely, ripping out the AirPod and tossing it on the desk. Pressing slightly shaking hands to your too hot face. You needed to get it together, because Price was your boss and the others were your superiors. They’d been gone for a month and a half, and it’d been your voice in their ears guiding them through missions, and you knew you had a flirty disposition, especially from the private safety of your dark little office half way across the world. 
It made sense that their wires got a little crossed, but your wires- like those off all your monitors and hardware- needed to stay neatly organized and separate. Focus. Focus. 
Your nails were bitten to the quick, the bitter taste of old nail polish on the back of your tongue. The skin around your nails was raw from your teeth toying with it as your so intensely focussed on the videos. You needed to get out of this too small, too hot room.  Which is how you found yourself, twenty minutes later, in the communal break room fighting with the vending machine. It was withholding the ice cold water you were desperate for, despite your curses and attempts to jostle the machine. Right as you delivered a frustrated kick to the machine-
“Just the bird we were looking for!” 
It was Kyle’s voice first, that tipped you off to the herd of men entering the space. You almost jumped out of your skin- brain flitting through several scandalous snippets of the videos he’d replayed. His smile was dazzling as always as he came into view, tapping the yellow warning stickers that instructed people not to jostle the machine, with the little illustration of the stick man getting crushed, “What’d the machine ever do to you? It might start fighting back.” 
A gloved hand reached between the two of you, skeleton fingers curled into a fist that delivered a blunt strike, and, like magic, the water bottle fell in to the receptacle. You peeked over your shoulder at Ghost, standing just slightly too close and looking down at you intensely, but not meanly. An easy to miss bit of mirth that was usually reserved for Soap. Thank god you’d bitten your nails to stubs or they would’ve drawn blood from how they were digging into your palms to distract you from the gloved hands and the brutish display of strength. 
Kyle put the drink sweetly in your hands after cracking it for you, like he would do when bringing Ghost or Price something, eyes twinkling like he knew something you didn’t.  Another hand, warm and large clapped gently on your shoulder, pulling you back a step, almost directly into Captain Price’s chest. 
The men shared a look over your head before focussing back on you. 
“Your intel was good.” It was a simple statement, but delivered in a warm, proud tone that felt so much like praise that your stomach flipped a bit, with that warm smile that made him look soft despite the fact he was still in full tac-gear, “They didn’t even see us coming.” 
“They never see you coming, that’s kind of your whole thing.” You tried a joke, your voice a touch strained. His hand was lingering, right on the curve where your shoulder became your neck, fingers flexing into the flesh just so. Just like it did on the boys when he thought others wouldn’t noticed. focus, focus, focus. 
Fortunately, or unfortunately, it was Soap that interrupted the kneading of Price’s fingers. 
“Don’t be so modest, bonnie!” He was laughing as large arms caught you around the waist, lifting and spinning you slightly. His voice so similar to that one Scottish co-star that had done such filthy things to your lookalike, it made your head spin.  Despite your startled yelp and squirming, his grip didn’t waver, “Couldn’t of done it without our lass in the chair.” 
“ ’nough, Johnny,” Ghost called firmly, leaning against the vending machine that they’d all but cornered you against, “Put ‘er down.” 
Soap’s laugh was still good natured as he set you on your feet again, a little roughly for the heels you had on to match your skirt, you wobbled only for Ghost himself to steady you, giving you another intense look, that you had trouble meeting, “ 'e’s right though. Intel was good.” 
They were all staring at you, varying degrees of smirks, eyes a spectrum of mischief and something that was dizzyingly close to hunger.  Unable to keep still, you were squirming, shifting your weigh from foot to foot, fiddling with the wrapper on the bottle. You found your eyes flitting around settling anywhere but their own gaze, cheeks feeling hot, mind full of vile images that you knew they’d seen and enjoyed- ceiling, the exit sign, Johnny’s tac-vest, the floor, the water bottle in your hands. You gulped, eyebrows raising as you puffed a breath, trying desperately to reign yourself in.
“Glad to be of service.” You smiled tightly, nodding meeting each set of eyes briefly and hoping your foundation masked your blush (it didn’t). Jesus Christ, you couldn’t do this.  You couldn’t tell if you felt turned on or awkward or both, but you needed to go. Preferably before you did something that would cost you your job. Your voice was rushed as you squeezed between Gaz and Price, double timing it to the exit, “Enjoy your leave, boys, you deserve it.” 
As you all but fled the building, you typed out a mass base-wide memo email, language formal as you professionally reminded every soldier, specifically four of them, that any website visited by government devices was subject to internal review. 
You swore you could hear them laughing as the memo went out. But maybe that was just your overactive imagination. 
____
You’d gone home for the evening, and then clocked back in the following morning. Surprised to find all of the 141 was still there, debriefing must have ran long. 
“Morning, love.” It was Kyle that greeted you, pressing a cup of coffee into your hands. He looked tired but happy to see you. Soap was with him, eyes bright and grin wide as he whistled lowly, fingers tugging at the hem of your skirt as you passed his seat. 
“Looking good, bonnie,” He smiled devilishly, rubbing the fabric between his fingers before letting go, “Tired of all the green, black, and beige tac gear. Missed seeing something a little… softer.”  
You somewhat doubted that. He seemed to appreciate military khaki when it hugged Gaz’s ass, and he sure didn’t seem to mind an all black tactical ensemble when it was on Ghost. But the compliment still brought heat up your neck, which you coupled with a sip of the hot coffee Gaz had brought you- fixed perfectly the way you liked it. It elicited a pleased sigh as you swallowed, humming in content. 
“Price wants to see you before we all leave. Brought you some new stuff to work on.” Kyle smiled, watching how your expression softened at the taste of the beverage, clearly proud of himself for drawing out that reaction.   
“A present? For me?” You smiled sarcastically back at the prospect of more work added to you caseload, “It’s like Christmas.” 
“You been good this year?” Kyle grinned back, accompanied by Soap chiming, voice low and chiding, “Nah, she’s definitely been naughty.” 
Both Sergeant’s shared a look as you almost choked on another sip of coffee. 
“I’m leaving now.” You shook your head, turning on your heel away from where they were hanging around the rec room, clearly waiting for Price to dismiss them, “Y’all should shower. Or take a nap.” 
“You want us naked?” Kyle questioned, raising his eyebrows at you, leaning back against the wall, standing so very close to Soap, who was sprawled out in his chair, long legs splayed and spread before him as he waggled his eyebrows. “And in bed?” 
Now that was some imagery. Taking the lord’s name in vain you didn’t dignify that with a response other than a huffed, “Leaving now.” 
____
The good thing about Price and Ghost was they were business first. So if you really focussed you could almost ignore Ghost's thigh pressed against yours as you sat beside him in the dark room, reviewing body cam footage. They pointed out different things to you, things to include as you started your next dark web deep dive. 
You could almost ignore how Price’s fingers grazed and lingered on your palm as he gave you a thumb drive to decrypt and analyze, how he stood close enough to you that you had to look at him through your lashes. 
“Has a self destruct program that Gaz didn’t want t' aggravate. Figured it needed your... soft touch.” Price smiled down at you as you curled your fingers around the thumb drive. You had to try pretty hard to ignore the slight emphasis on soft. Ghost seemed to chuckle lowly at your expression at the captain. 
“What’s on there'll point us in the next direction of our next target.” Ghost nodded to you, his leg shifting so it pressed harder against yours. In the guise of stretching out, he’d draped an arm over the back of your chair, the cotton of his gloves half tickling the sensitive skin on the back of your bicep, where the flesh was soft. 
“So don’t screw it up, got it.” You swallowed thickly, shifting so you couldn’t feel his thumb against your skin- it was making it hard to think about hacking and terrorism and military operations.  He took it as an invitation to spread out more, his fingers grazing the exact spot only seconds later. 
“Precisely,” John laughed lowly, his hand moved to your shoulder, back into that sweet curve that was partly your shoulder and partly your neck, and gave it a lingering squeeze, that kind of made you want to melt, “You won’t screw it up, love.” 
The captain gave his Lieutenant a nod, and Ghost quickly stood, his boot giving the toe of your pretty heels a slight nudge as a goodbye before silently stalking out. Price took a seat across from you, leaning back and his arms cross comfortably over his chest.
“I’m having the boys over at mine tonight. A couple of drinks, I’m gonna grill, put the footie on, celebrate another successful mission to start our leave.” Price listed out their plans casually, noting how you squirmed a bit, uncrossing and recrossing your legs as you tugged at the hem of your skirt before continuing, “We want you to come. Couldn’t have done it without you, so you should celebrate it too.” 
“Oh, uh-“ You started before you could think of a good excuse, “I’ll be really busy… with.. with the flash drive. And stuff.” 
“What stuff?” Price rose a single brow, his stare pinning you still as he reached across the table and took the flash drive back, “This can wait.” 
“Files. Coding. Security checks.” You mumbled the first couple aspects of your job that came to mind, the intensity of his gaze making you want to adjust your collar or shrink in your seat. You figured you’d have a couple more sites to clear off their devices, if they’d been sitting around base all night. Your cheeks heated just at the thought. “I’m a little behind. Been… distracted lately."
“Everything all right, love?” He ‘asked’ with at signature warm smile and amused eyes, he seemed to already know the answer to his question, “You’ve been… skittish, since we got back.” 
Your teeth worried the seam of your lips as you considered the question. Skittish, was one way to put it- fidgety, fleeing rooms, avoiding eye contact, barely speaking as opposed to your usual chatter and banter. Your eyes flitted away from his gaze again, swallowing dryly again- geez when did you get so shy, “ ‘m fine. Absolutely fine. Never been better. How’re you?” 
Cringing at your own rambling, you sighed shoulders drooping as he fixed you with another look, and muttered your name in a way that sent a shiver down your spine. It was a look that expected obedience, as his legs shifted into a natural man spread. Your brain flitted back to the video of your look alike being shoved under a desk… 
Him saying your name again, slightly louder but just as bemused drew you back to him, realizing you were staring at his legs, debating if you could fit between his knees and you almost sputtered as you cleared your throat, “I’m fine, really.” 
“Either lie more convincingly or tell me what’s bothering you, sweet.”  Price chuckled, leaving forward against the table, drumming a knuckle against the table. Sweet, that was new. You’d have to add it to the laundry list of nicknames and pet names the boys had for you. You’d always told yourself that it was nothing personal, that British/Scottish people just did that. But this on wasn’t as easy to write off as ‘love’ or ‘bonnie’, average pet names in the UK colloquial, no sweet seemed personal. 
“I’m not bothered.” You glanced away again, nose wrinkling, even though you were bothered- hot and bothered. John Price had a way of drawing details out of people with just a look and a couple of well prodded words.  With a deep breath, you tried to keep your characteristic rambling to a minimum, a losing battle as he starting stroking at his beard with those long fingers- two parts of him that you’d been thinking about way too much lately-, “Listen, I’m not judging, you’re grown men, watch what you want to, but just a reminder that it’s my job and obligation to review every link and site that government devices visit. Which includes at least skimming videos.  In case you didn’t know or maybe forgot that I can and do see these things, so maybe you could pass that along to the boys-“ 
“You can tell 'em yourself. ’s your job, sweet.” Price said firmly. The girlish part of your brain corrected ‘firmly’ to dominantly. Before his demeanor relaxed again, giving you an amused, appraising look again, “At my place. Tonight. 8 o’clock. Not a request.” Shrinking in your chair a bit, hoping the chair hid the way your thighs involuntarily clenched, you couldn’t help but nod and squeak, “Yes, sir.” 
___
Was supposed to have actually smut in this but I got carried away on the build-up, laugh out loud. Maybe a part three or you can just imagine how the little dinner party goes (hint, she's the meal)
Tags: @fruitymoonbeams-blog @viviennevianna @savas-q1 @cringeycookies @lainey-laines @buttercup337 @acosmisted @carqueensworld @tmartin0918 @dreamland08 @sheepdogchick @hidden-wildflowers @lilynotdilly @astrxsee @joopyjup @originalsoulcollector @henhouse-horrors @ohdrey89 @red5tars @cod-z @balletbiscuit @spacecrawllerr @scrumptioussportstoadgarden-blog @blues-of-neptune @monster-effer @yunho-leeknow @ungodlydilf @pluviofleur @jandthecrow @fangtoothgod @coquetterie-dancer @sapphires-and-silver-things @ghost-is-my-bbg @loveergirll @silly-starfish @popkle @honestlymassivetrash @not-mentally-sane @devoetee @beloveds-embrace @jellyamour @simon141price @divinecat
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myjungkookthighs · 2 days ago
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MY FAVORITE JUNGKOOK FANFICS & RECOMMENDATIONS PART1 ✮⋆˙────────୨ৎ───────˙⋆✮
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My first lists! These from my favorites JJK fics writers and how amazing their works and most of the fics are top-notch and i really recommend y'all to read it and show some love to their works!! 💗 ( Most of the fics are 🔞+ ) @myjungkookthighs
♥︎— NEEDY | Part 1, Part 2 by @girlygguk ( I'm going to say i love all of my baby lyssa's works she's an amazing writer that i adored so much. All her fics like a drugs to me , top-notch! lol)
nerd!jk x cheerleader!(f)reader
hiding his feelings when you didn’t even know his name was hard. hiding his neediness and obsession when you finally did know his name and you were his fucking girlfriend? impossible. well, then it's a good thing you like him needy.
♥︎—FIRST CLASS | Part 1 by @girlygguk ( chef kiss🤌)
rich student!jk x (f)rich student!reader
in which you are just another spoiled, bitchy, annoyingly gorgeous trust-fund baby who has everyone at Yonsei University eating from the palm of your hand. and jeon jungkook, your spoiled, fuck-boy, annoyingly gorgeous trust-fund baby best friend, is always first in line to take a bite.
♥︎—CRAZY | Part 1, Part2 by @girlygguk (addicted like a mad person)
ceo!jk x employee!(f)reader
you know it sounds twisted. that most people would see hyungwon as the perfect boyfriend. healthy, balanced, all the things that relationships should be. that’s when you realized... you weren't like most people. but that's okay. because neither is jungkook.
♥︎—HABITS (STAY HIGH) | Part1 by @girlygguk
student plug!jk x rich girl!reader
You9:06 PM do you be 🙄’ing other bitches yes or no
♥︎—BAD THINGS | Part 1 by @girlygguk
jock fuckboy!jk x nerdy fuckgirl!reader
getting jealous, sending mixed signals, simping for a gorgeous geek who has no idea what effect she has on him... it's just what jungkook does best. oh, and football. he's really good at football.
♥︎—DENIAL | Part1, Part2 by @girlygguk
idol!jk x (f)actress!reader
it's been a plethora of secret meetups, quickies in the bathrooms of his award shows, and 2 am 'you up?' texts during your year-long situationship with jungkook. you both agreed in the beginning that your careers are far too hectic to commit to anything serious, but you can't shake the shitty ache in your chest every time the high wears off, or when you're crawling out of his bed in the middle of the night. trying to exile the shitty feeling of longing that you harbor for him, you spend time with another one of your guy friends. jungkook sees, and he's ma
♥︎— BETWEEN THE RIDE AND THE ROSES (series) by @focusonkayjay
biker!Jk x flower shop owner!Reader
There's an insane turn of events when your calm and peaceful life is intruded by Jungkook, a biker boy who sets up his loud business right next to your own. Your paths cross under unlikely circumstances, starting with a clash of personalities but gradually you find yourself establishing a deeper connection with the annoyingly attractive biker jerk. You both have no idea what's in store for you guys as you try your best to put up with each other.
♥︎— FRIENDS WITHIN TOUCHING DISTANCE (series)by @dailynnt (Shout out to my love, her fic so amazing !!)
Best friend!Jungkook x Fem!Reader fwb!
What happens when two best friends try to get along under the same roof? You've been living with Jungkook for three months now, but your cohabitation is still a challenge for you. He continues to live like a real bachelor without following the rules you agreed upon from the beginning of your decision to live together. Should you find a compromise or should you find a new place to live?
♥︎—OLDER by @lovieku
dilf!jk x inexperienced!fem reader (i'm sucker for older or dilf jk!😭)
you’ve tried, but you can’t help yourself from crushing on your best friend’s dad. hot, buff, tatted up and successful, mr. jeon is the starring actor in all of your wettest dreams. and as you wake up from one while sleeping over at his house after his daughter’s birthday party, you don’t expect all of them to suddenly come true. but they do.
♥︎—HANDS ON ME by @lovieku
nerd!jk x popular!fem reader
it’s about to look like jeongguk’s birthday everyday with you.
♥︎—OBVIOUS by @lovieku
bookstore employee!jk x virgin!fem reader
you lose your virginity to jeongguk, the only boy you’d ever trust with such weight. and what you both feel for each other couldn’t be more obvious.
♥︎— GUYS MY AGE (one-shot) Drabble 1, Drabble 2 ,by @kooktrash
dilf jk x female college student!y/n [she/her] ( i had read 3 times cuz i'm sucker of it bcs IT'S CHEF KISS🤌)
a summer spent at your friend’s place wasn’t something to be anything to look forward to. her hot, young dad would seem to change that for you when you decide a game of teasing would suffice your boredom. you got more than you bargained for when you realize he’s not a fan of games.
♥︎— INFRUNAMI by @kooktrash
friends to lovers. y/n[afab, she/her] x best friend jungkook
you’ve made great friends throughout the years but none like jeon jungkook. he’s there for you when you need him and although at times when things get complicated between your feelings and thoughts… there’s one thing for certain. you both have been wasting time acting like there’s nothing between you.
♥︎— DEPEND ON ME by @kooktrash
Hybridbunnygirl!reader x human!jungkook
you’re so used to letting Jungkook do everything for you. he babies you almost and you’re both constantly reminded of the strangeness in your friendship. you’ve always loved him but he can’t see you as anything but the little bunny girl he used to protect. you change his mind
♥︎— NEVER AGAIN by @kooktrash
neighbor!jk x Reader
jeon jungkook is just your nosy neighbor who can’t seem to be anything less than a selfish, heart breaking, prick in your eyes. yet somehow he manages to wiggle his way into your life but is it enough for him to change your mind or will he prove your judgements right?
♥︎—MY DEAR FRIEND by @kooktrash
friends!jk x experienced!reader, f2l ( about a few day need to moved on from this fic)
just friends? keep telling yourself that, you and Jungkook have always danced on the line of friendship and something more but lately you’ve struggled being able to tell where you guys stand.
♥︎— BUNNY ADVENTURES by @kooktrash
hybrid!Jungkook x human!reader
you had absolutely no intentions of ever owning a hybrid until jungkook came along. a mistreated, misunderstood rabbit hybrid who’d only ever wanted was to be treated like an equal.
♥︎— RISQUE (series) by @mercurygguk
older!jk x reader age gap au (my all time favorite 😭)
in which jungkook struggles to keep his relationship with you strictly appropriate and it’s not like you’re making it easy for him.
♥︎— THE DILF INSTALLMENTS (series) by @mercurygguk
dad!jungkook x f. reader
this series follows jungkook’s life as a divorced father. but wait, how exactly does one balance being a father, a boyfriend, a friend, and a respectable boss at the same time? read the installments below to find out!
♥︎— THE ART OF (DILF JK SERIES) by @venusiangguk
 dilf jk x grocery store clerk reader ( never over this bcs it's cute 🤧)
you find a baby in your store and in turn, a dilf finds you
♥︎— ONLY WHEN IT'S US (series) by @luvismenu
Uni! Jungkook x Fem Reader Strangers to??
you both say it’s nothing serious, but with every touch and argument, it gets harder to stay away.
♥︎— STARBOY (series)by @luvismenu
popular classmate!jungkook x class president!reader
everyone assumes you two can't stand each other, but is that really true?
♥︎—BED CHEM (Mini Series) by @muniimyg
Uni student!Jungkook x uni Student! Reader Frenemies to lovers!
after overhearing jungkook fuck someone else; you can’t help but want out of being his frenemy
♥︎— BABYDADDY!JK (series) by @muniimyg
ex!au jungkook x ex!reader
Co- parenting
♥︎—ITBOYFRIEND!JUNGKOOK | (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) by @muniimyg
ITbf!Jk x Fem Reader
♥︎—JUST TAKE IT (series) by @ahgasegotarmy116
Inexperienced f!reader x Best Friend's Dad Jungkook (20 year age gap) dilf! jk
A turn of events has the people you thought you trusted stabbing you in the back and leaving you broken hearted and betrayed. Who knew though that sometimes things just happen for a reason
♥︎—BANG-ABLE (mini one-shot/drabble) by @ahgasegotarmy116
f!reader x Sex Bot Jungkook (I'm obsessed!! 😭)
You've been single for way too long and you're done with causal sex and all the drama that comes along with it...so why not try something new?
♥︎— DEEP SIX (mini series) by @bratkook but i read on AO3
biker!jk x reader
It’s like a stranger had a key, came inside of my mind and moved all my things around. He didn’t know snakes can hear the prey, can’t try to break the psyche down.
♥︎— CHAMPANGE CONFFETI by @margotw10bis
boyfriend!Jungkook x camgirl!reader
Your boyfriend loves watching you on live but his whole mood changes when he reads one specific comment from one of your fans
♥︎— PARADISE (series) by @minisugakoobies i read on AO3
 Stripper!Jungkook x Reader (my absolute favorite!😭)
That sexy man on stage - the one currently giving your friend the lap dance of her LIFE - is your super shy neighbor, Jeon Jungkook?!
♥︎— THE PINK PILL -"3 DAYS" by @dollfaceksj
best friend!jungkook x fem!reader (top-notch!i read twice😭)
In each of these universes, you find yourself consuming what is known as the pink pill. This pill is essentially a drug that enhances your libido to the max and you’ll quite literally never experience arousal like you do when you’ve taken this pill. Thankfully, in each universe, there’s a man that’s ready to help you explore and reach your peak of sexual euphoria.
♥︎— THE WEEKEND by @chryblossomjjk
dilf!jk x babysitter reader ( the best thing ever! 😭)
every weekend, you give jungkook a little taste of something he’s missing monday through friday.
♥︎—SUGARPLUM ELERGY by @bymoonchild
College!Jungkook x Reader , fwb (i can't let go of this story top-notch)
You know no bounds nor depth with Jungkook. While your fuck buddy loves sleeping in your bed and doing laundry for you with his favourite fabric softener, you are in love with a mysterious honeyed, velvety voice on Soundcloud. All’s fine, until you find out that the voice that metaphors your heart to a sweet sugarplum melody actually belongs to the boy who has been taking up a special spot in your bed and in your heart, strumming at your heartstrings all this while. Or, Jungkook has one braincell, but it’s heart-shaped.
♥︎— MICROWAVE (MIS)ADVENTURE by @bymoonchild
housemate!Jungkook x Reader
Out of all things to be afraid of, Jungkook, the seat-stealer of your 8am class and annoying housemate whom you despise with every fiber of your being, chooses to have a phobia of microwaves, but he loves buying microwaveable food – because come on, they’re irresistible – and you somehow find yourself getting dragged into his microwaves (mis)adventures. Cue chaos, sarcasm-laced banter and an unplanned romance.
♥︎— COLD NIGHTS AND BLURRED LINES| WARM NIGHTS & CLEAR LINES| cnbldrabbles by @awrkive
basketball!jungkook x nerdy!(fem) reader,fwb (i'm crazy over this 😭)
jungkook and you have been in a sexual relationship with each other for four months now, and it’s casual for the most part. but as time passes, you can’t help but feel that some of the lines suddenly got blurred in the process. is it a cliché to blur the lines with your fuck buddy? it definitely is. will you do something about it? both of your emotional constipation have a hard time saying yes.
♥︎—CAN'T LET IT GO (part 1)| PHYSICALLY OBSESSED(part2) by @chunghasweetie
dom!oc x nerdysub!jjk
loser nerd jk has crushed on her for years and is assigned to be her college tutor for her calculus class. studying doesn’t go exactly as planned and he ends up losing his virginity in the best way possible.
oc finally cuffs jk and they celebrate
♥︎— HE GIVE IT TO ME (Part1) | WONT TOUCH YOU LIKE ME (Part2)by @chunghasweetie
fem!oc x dealer!jjk
always giving out free shit to his favorite customer.
after a petty argument jungkook spots you showing out at a party with the hosts arm around your waist.
♥︎— MERAKI by @taegularities
grumpy!Jk x sunshine!reader
Jungkook finds you irritating; far too energetic and insistent. But his perception of you changes bit by bit, minute by minute, when he's persuaded into spending an entire night with you at places he doesn't know.
♥︎—NO NUT NOVEMBER by @2hightocare
dilf!jungkook x fem!reader
Jungkook didn’t think stuff through when he made a bet for “No Nut November” he seemed to forget that he can’t say no to you.
♥︎— FOR ME (DILF!JK DRABBLES COLLECTION ) by @personasintro
dilf!jungkook x reader
A collection of drabbles accompanied with dilf!jk
♥︎— BURNING HOUR by @jungqkook
Richbf!jk x gf!reader (you gonna need holy water later lmao!)
there’s nothing better than spending an entire day at your boyfriend’s yatch, tanning and waiting for the sunset with a drink in your hand… too bad your boyfriend had other plans for you.
♥︎—BETTER BOYFRIEND THAN HIM by @jungqkook
friend!Jk x reader
jungkook makes it a mission to prove to you that he can be better than your boring boyfriend. when it comes to sex, at least.
♥︎— FIGHT FOR YOU (series) by @ahundredtimesover
bodyguard!jk x heiress!reader
Working at a private security agency has its perks. The downside? Being the personal bodyguard of spoiled, rich heiresses like you. But there are things that Jungkook didn’t expect, like rejecting you, falling for you, and realizing what he’d been missing all along.
♥︎— GUARDED by @junghelioseok
bodyguard!Jk x Reader
❛❛ good girl. ❜❜ ❛❛ don’t get shy on me now. ❜❜
♥︎—BODYGUARD by @sxtaep
bodyguard!jk, idol!reader
when you’re stuck in a near-death situation, your high school crush, now your bodyguard, begins to regret ever rejecting you 5 years ago.
♥︎—STRIKE THREE by @avveh (ao3)
Bodyguark!jk x Bratty!Reader ( i'm obsessed!)
When discipline and chaos meet, one will always rise to the top.
♥︎— EVERYTHING IN YOU |Part1, Part2 , DRABBLE1, DRABBLE 2, DRABBLE 3 by @jjungkookislife
roommate!sperm donor Jk x pregnant! Reader (my favorite iso cute)
You want a baby and Jungkook is willing to help
♥︎— BABYMAKER by @badbtssmut
bestfriend!Jk x Reader
You want a baby, but you just broke up with your boyfriend but your best friend Jungkook offers you the solution to your heart break, he’ll give you your baby, no strings attached.
♥︎— SPECIAL PREPARATION by @badbtssmut
Piercer!Jungkook x Reader
You go to a piercing shop to get a clit piercing but your piercer Jungkook has an interesting way of prepping his clients.
─────────────────────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───────────────────
Actually i like all Miss Cherry @redcherrykook fics and i read them all and her works always the bomb never disappointed me and here i will share my most favorites from her🤪💗
♥︎— SAFEWORD
daddy!jungkook and sub oc
♥︎—SPOT ME INSTEAD
gymrat!JK x gymrat!reader
♥︎—MIDNIGHT SNACK
idol!Jk x gf!Reader
♥︎—MILK AND CREAM
sub!JKx noona!Reader
♥︎—BAD BOY,GOOD GIRL/HIGHSCHOOL SWEET
highschool sweethearts!jk x Reader
♥︎— (TENT)ATIVE ENEMIES
friendnemie!Jk x Reader
♥︎— Kinktober D1-SOMNOPHILLIA
needy JK x reader
♥︎—Kinktober D8- OFFICER PLAYS & CUFFS
roleplay!!JKx bad girl oc
♥︎—Kinktober D10- SPANKING & PUNISHING
DADDY KINK JK! x sub oc
♥︎—Kinktober D12- MIRROR SEX
idol bf! Jk x gf! Reader
♥︎—Kinktober D16- MARKING
possessive bf! JK x Reader
♥︎—Kinktober D19- DACRYPHILLIA (crying kink)
Daddy! Jk x Crybaby! reader
♥︎—Kinktober D22- EXHIBITIONISM
bf!jk x gf reader
by @redcherrykook
That's it for part1 !
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shomatoriashi · 1 day ago
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12/21/24; 05:07pm
{ 18+ drabbles / headcanons }
[ when you join them in the shower ]
featuring: sylus, zayne, xavier, rafayel
[ minors don’t interact; by choosing to interact with this content, you have consented to viewing something n-fw despite the warnings. ]
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you pretend to be distracted by your phone, mindlessly scrolling through it. yet the moment sylus enters your shared bedroom, you became aware of him and his every move.
“i’ll be taking a much needed shower.” he tells you while loosening the collar of his dress shirt, “if you need me, you know where to find me.” you let out a hum of acknowledgment, trailing your gaze toward his beautifully sculpted back as he disappears into the privacy of the bathroom.
shutting your eyes, you listen closely for the sounds of running water, hearing it just a mere few moments later as you could practically envision the way the droplets of water cascades down his beautifully sculpted form. setting your phone off to the side, you took off the rest of your clothes, allowing them to fall beneath your feet as you step closer toward the bathroom.
gripping at the doorknob, you felt a slow smile spread across your lips at how it remained unlocked, giving you full access when you step into the steamy bathroom. sylus's hum echos throughout the wide space as you could see the silhouette of his body against the frosted glass of the shower stall. with careful movements, you step into the shower stall, ready to pounce on him when he suddenly faces you.
"i was wondering when you were going to join me, sweetie."
your gasp quickly morphs into giggles when he playfully pins you against the slick shower walls, giving you a devilish grin when he places his powerful thigh between your legs, further stimulating your swollen clit as it hardens against his skin. breathy moans escapes from your parted lips when sylus greedily licks the droplets off of your skin before stroking his cock against your slick folds.
"were you waiting for me?" you complete your sentence with a sudden moan, feeling the way sylus steadies you before sliding every inch of his cock within your walls, setting an almost brutal pace as you felt his every thrust pounding into you.
"of course, as if i could ever resist having you here with me." you shiver upon feeling sylus lick at the base of your throat, forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist as you enjoyed your 'shower' together with your beloved.
needless to say, neither one of you got much cleaning done that night.
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being with zayne for so long now, it came almost as second nature to do everything together with your lover. and this included doing your usual morning routine together.
when you both woke up, you followed zayne into the bathroom, brushing your teeth as zayne turned on the shower faucet so that you could both enjoy a nice, hot shower together. with your breath minty fresh, you peel off your pajamas and step into the shower spray first, letting out a soft moan while basking in the heat.
zayne joins you moments later, shutting the glass door before proceeding to lather your body with your favorite scented body wash. he left no inch of skin untouched, ensuring that you were thoroughly washed before helping you rinse off beneath the water. when his large hand was felt cupping at the spot between your legs, you nearly fell over had it not been for his arm wrapped around your waist.
"sssh, i'm simply cleaning you." his middle finger manages to pierce through your slick walls, tracing at your outer lips momentarily before entering inside of you. the sudden intrusion of his finger completely sheathed inside of you causes your moans to echo throughout the shower stall.
"hm, not good enough. looks like i need to take some drastic measures." with a click of his tongue, zayne kneels in front of you, keeping you balanced against the slick shower walls when he suddenly spread your legs wide open for him, placing both of his hands on your thighs as he left you in a vulnerable position for him.
"zayne- ah..." his name trails off in another loud moan the moment he kisses your center, thrusting his tongue inside of you while drawing out even more of your honeyed arousal. just seeing his muscular back remaining so taut as he devoured you causes you to cry out to him, hands gripping at his damp strands of hair.
the steam from the shower and the sinful way his lips moved against your core was almost too much to bear when you cried out to him, climaxing directly into his mouth as his grunt was felt vibrating against you. zayne ends up delving his tongue even further inside of you, as if wanting to drink up all you had to offer when he continues with his ministrations on your body-
making you realize that this would be one of the longest shower sessions you ever had the pleasure of experiencing.
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xavier's phone was heard ringing on his desk, alerting him of a call from the hunter's association-
yet the young hunter found that he didn't care about whoever was calling him, as the sounds of rushing water felt pelting on his skin and the sensation of your hot mouth surrounding his cock were all too much to bear.
he was gripping at your hair, allowing your head to move back and forth on his cock. your hands worked on stroking whatever part of him that couldn't fit in your mouth, making him toss his head back in response.
"so... good." xavier pants, clenching his eyes shut as he basks in the silky feel of your mouth wrapped so sweetly around him. almost in a drunken haze, xavier forces himself to open his eyes and look at you, feeling his cock twitch upon seeing just how pretty you looked with your lips wrapped around his dick.
basking in his attention, you allow the tip of your tongue to trace at the underside of his cock, following the pulsating vein before giving him a gentle suck-
successfully making the philos prince fall apart for you.
he lets out a gasp of your name, stilling his hips while shooting his seed down your throat. with a pleased hum, you eagerly swallowed everything he had to offer, making sure to let out an audible gulp while licking your lips. xavier was left trembling in the aftermath, watching with an almost dazed expression when you stand back to your full height.
acting like you hadn't just gifted him the best orgasm of his life, you proceed to wash your body while standing beneath the shower spray. yet before you could truly cleanse yourself, xavier was felt gripping at your waist before pinning your front against the shower wall.
"not yet..." he whispers into your ear, "not done yet..." you were about to ask him what he meant, yet the moment you felt his cock sliding into you from behind, you lost all sense of coherency.
now, it was your loud moans and the sounds of skin slapping against skin while beneath the shower spray that further hinders the incessant ringing from xavier's phone.
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"you always smell so good without even trying, princess."
your mind was going hazy, the steam from your hot shower made rafayel appear even more alluring to you. his breath traces over your neck as he latches on to it, further pinning your body against the shower wall. his cock was slowly felt hardening against you when the lemurian purposely strokes it against your center, causing you to gasp while clinging to him.
a pleased hum was heard coming from your lover, watching as he hid his face against the curve of your neck as his hands helped with spreading your legs wide open for him. you tremble, feeling the tip of his cock continuously brush against your swollen clit, making you further ache and yearn for him.
yet the moment he slides his cock inside of your scorching heat, sheathing every inch inside of your walls, you raked your nails down his back. letting out a grunt that was a mixture between pleasure and pain, rafayel sets an almost breakneck pace, with the single goal of pounding you against the shower wall his sole purpose.
"and you always feel so good wrapped around me like this." rafayel admits in a breathless manner, with his eyebrows drawn together in intense concentration, "heh, showers are more fun when they're spent with you..."
giving you a lingering kiss against your skin, rafayel makes sure to press his body even closer to yours, basking in the way your soft form seemed to complement his body so well. as he continues to make love to you, the squelching sounds of it all echoing throughout the shower, you nearly fainted upon hearing his next words:
"i'm going to make sure i'm imprinted into your very soul, princess, where you'll forever ache for me alone."
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end notes: another unedited thirst post 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠 hehehe i'm so proud to be a LADS girlie.
all stories are written by rei; please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works!!
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alg3a · 3 days ago
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auspicious (pt. 2)
jayce x f!reader x viktor / jayvik x reader
3k words, MDNI
description: After confronting the boys and teasing them for long enough, you finally get what you want.
warnings: nsfw content, full complete total smut, MMF threesome, f!receiving oral, double penetration, all characters are sort of switches i suppose, double creampies! hooray!
a/n: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE ON PART ONE!!! it was entirely unexpected, but i loved hearing that all of you enjoyed it. it was my first ever tumblr fic, but there will be plenty more and my request box is VERY open.
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Something in their eyes turns dark when you utter those words. Not utter, exactly, they were more of a proclamation. Maybe it was your confidence that threw them off so intensely, but how could you not be confident in a dress like that, after two glasses of wine, and knowing that the two most attractive men you’ve ever laid eyes on have been wanting you for months?
It made all the late nights and restless mornings worth it to be sprawled out on their cozy lab couch wearing practically just a strip of fabric, watching them eye you like dogs.
“What is it with you two? Do I need to write you a formal invitation?”
Surprisingly, Viktor moves first. When he gets to the couch he drops his cane as if it was a crumb off his coffeecake. Then Jayce follows, filling the spot behind you as you face Viktor on the other end of the couch. Jayce’s calloused hands wrap around your waist, feeling every inch of the delicate skin exposed by your low hanging dress. Viktor’s delicate hands cup your jaw.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting this,” Viktor says, his voice raspier than you’ve ever heard before.
“Hey–” Jayce squeezes your hips firmly and pulls you back into his chest. His fingers trace the long slit up the side of your leg and brush the fabric to the side, exposing your thighs. “How long we have been waiting for this.”
“Did you ever talk about me–about this–with each other?” You have a million dirty questions to ask them now that you have them at your disposal, and this seems like a good place to start.
“It’s hard not to,” Jayce says. “Every time you would come into the lab in that little skirt…”
“Things as small as lingering touches when passing tools…” Viktor added, his mouth dipping low to kiss your exposed collarbone.
“Anytime you did anything vaguely exciting… let’s just say the thought of sharing you is very familiar to us.” Jayce’s low, rough voice mutters against your neck. He punctuates his sentence with a nip at the soft skin as Viktor pulls away from your clavicle.
“Would you like that?” Viktor asks, his fingers delicately wrapping a strand of your hair around his long, slim finger. “For Jayce and I to share you?”
And suddenly they’ve monopolized this interaction. So much for all that confidence–thrown out the window as soon as they show a sliver of dominance.
“Speak up,” Jayce says, grasping your chin firmly and lifting it so that your face is flush with Viktor’s.
“Yes,” you finally utter. “I’d like that very very much.”
“Good,” Viktor says, his accent thicker and his voice raspy.
His thumb traces along your jaw until his hand seats itself on the back of your neck. His fingers slide into your hair. You’d never realized how big his hands were until then, as one wrapped around the back of your head, tugging softly at your hair as Jayce rubbed your bottom lip with his thumb, pulling gently downward to part your pretty lips. They really were fantastic partners, aiding each other in research. And there you were, their perfect little assistant, providing them with something to study.
You don’t realize how heavily your heart is thudding against your ribs until Viktor’s lips are exploring yours and your heart is the loudest thing in the room, second only to your little whimper as you realize Jayce is doing some exploring of his own. His calloused fingers brush your bare thigh beneath the slit of your dress and dip between your legs as his chest presses against your back. With the hand that once rested on your chin, he pulls the apex of the slit higher, so that your lacy black panties are exposed to the cold air of the lab.
“Fuck,” Jayce mutters at the sight of them. You feel as his hardening cock twitches against your back, eliciting a moan from your mouth that vibrates against Viktor’s lips.
You whine as he pulls away from the kiss to take a look at what Jayce has discovered.
“Don’t everyone look at once,” you joke, but your breathlessness and heaving chest don’t exactly contribute to the punchline.
Viktor smiles for a moment, but his eyes drift to your shoulder. More specifically, the fallen strap of the dress which leaves your shoulder exposed.
“You’ve been in this dress all night,” Viktor says, smiling as he looks at Jayce over your shoulder. “I can’t imagine it’s very comfortable…”
“Do you often imagine how uncomfortable my clothes are, Viktor?” You ask, returning his smirk as Jayce slips the remaining strap off of your other shoulder.
“All the time,” he says, taking the next step off of Jayce’s hands and sliding the bodice off your dress downward, then letting Viktor return to pushing down the remnants of the dress so that it pools around your ankles.
“And much more, it would seem…or sound, rather.” Jayce laughs in a low tone, the vibrations of his chest against the bare skin of your back causing your stomach to flutter. “Loudest housemate ever.”
“Oh really?” You ask, mouth agape as Viktor slides off the couch with a smirk on his face, bringing your legs with him. He pivots you so that you’re sitting with your back against the cushions now, and he’s kneeling between your parted legs. Only your cute little panties separate his face from your best kept secret.
“Hearsay,” Viktor rolls his eyes as he kisses up your thigh. “And from the man who doesn’t even close his door when he thinks of you…”
“I close it. The walls are just…thin.” Jayce replies, placing his hand on your chin once more to turn your face to his. “And I can’t help how much noise I make.” His voice lowers and his eyes flutter shut, preparing for his turn with your lips.
Jayce is a much rougher kisser than Viktor. Handsier, too. His hand slides up your waist, grazing your chest, before finally landing on the expanse of your tilted back neck. If he choked you to death right now, you could die happy. But he won’t. He just squeezes gently as his tongue explores your mouth, his grip a reminder that he’s been wanting you for three long months. You can imagine how it must have felt for both of the boys to have you within arms reach, pushed away only by their own semblances of professionality. Actually–you can taste it, too. And you can feel it as two fingers press against your clothed cunt and you let a moan echo into Jayce’s persistent mouth.
Viktor lifts a leg onto his shoulder, and you feel two of his calloused fingertips pulling aside the lace of your panties. With only the tip of Viktor’s tongue, you’re a whining mess against Jayce’s. Jayce pulls away from you with a condescending laugh, wanting to catch a glimpse of Viktor’s meal.
“Fuck,” he rasps. “I never thought my lab partner and I would have our tongues on the same girl at the same time.”
“Don’t lie,” Viktor looks up, a grin on his glistening lips. “I’ve heard my name through those thin walls, too.”
“Shut up,” Jayce groans, and guides Viktor’s head back to your cunt. “Does that feel good, sweetheart?”
“Y-yes,” you manage to utter, miraculously. You’d heard Jayce tease Viktor time after time about his inexperience with women. You’d be surprised that Viktor was this good at eating you out if you weren’t familiar with what a meticulous learner Viktor was. A true perfectionist.
As Viktor sucks on your clit, Jayce lowers his head and sucks marks onto your neck, one hand still on Viktor’s head, feeding you to him.
“Please…” you whimper, not sure exactly what you’re even asking for until you feel your impending release.
Viktor laughs against your core. “Please what, my love?”
“Please, I’m gonna… mmph! I–” The leg that rests on Viktor’s back bends so that he’s pulled closer.
“Don’t stop, Vik, she’s close.” Jayce’s grip on your jaw tightens and he pulls you ever so slightly downward to watch Viktor. “Is that right, sweetheart? Use your words.”
You nod emphatically, opening your lips but fuck it’s so incredibly difficult for you to form words when there isn’t an adjective on the planet that can describe how he’s making you feel. “I’m gonna…I’m gonna cum, please, please don’t stop.”
“Good girl,” Jayce says, his grip loosening as he goes in to kiss you again while your climax hits you like a tidal wave. Jayce feels the impact of it against his mouth in the form of your own, needy, whimpering moans.
Your legs begin to shake, but Viktor’s hands wrap around your thighs, holding you still as he shows no signs of stopping. He’s going to grant your begging wishes and ride this out with you, his tongue dancing along your clit, his fingers spreading you wide so it’s certain he won’t miss a spot.
Once you’ve settled, Viktor pulls away, wiping the arousal from his lips with the back of his hand. You’ve seen him exhausted, aching, and messy, but you’ve never seen him with such a powerful glint of desperation in his eyes.
“Did that feel good, sweetheart?” Jayce asks, his fingers combing through your hair.
Viktor seats himself on the couch again, drawn to your collarbone again, this time using his fingers to navigate the delicate clavicle.
You nod, but it takes every ounce of effort you have to lift your head up repeatedly.
“We’re not done with you just yet,” Jayce says, getting up off of the couch, “if that’s alright with you.”
The request is almost rhetorical. Of course it’s alright with you. He knows that. If the wanton, needy little noises you were still making in agreement were any sign of the pleasure you derived from this arrangement, you could go on until morning.
“Viktor, take your pants off,” Jayce demands, standing over the two of you.
“Who decided you’d be calling the shots for tonight?” Viktor asked, breathlessly, raising one eyebrow.
“If you don’t want to, I’ll gladly take your pla–”
Viktor rushed to take his pants off. You helped him with the belt buckle and in sliding them down his legs. As you do, Jayce fully removes your panties. It doesn’t make much of a difference, now that the two men have seen every inch of you.
As Viktor’s pants come off, you see the impressive imprint of his cock underneath his boxers.
“Can I?” You ask gently, lowering your hand to hover over his cock.
“We’re past that,” Viktor says, grinning as he takes your hand and guides it to his length. You dip your fingers under the waistband of his boxers and pull them downward so that they pool at his thighs.
Wow.
You’d always sort of assumed that since Viktor was so skinny that he couldn’t be hiding much. How wrong you were. Your lips part slightly, already salivating for him. You begin to stroke his cock, ready for him to push your head onto his shaft until you can’t breathe, but you hear a tongue clicking behind you.
“No need for that,” Jayce says. “I think we’ll save that treat for the workday. For now…”
Jayce’s strong hands find their grip on your waist on your right leg, pulling you to straddle Viktor’s lap.
“I don’t think either of us can wait any longer for this,” you look back at Jayce as he speaks, watching as he unbuckles his own belt and shed his pants along with his dress shirt.
Now this one, you expected. With the amount of female “advisors” you’ve seen watching Jayce in the forge, there’s no way he wasn’t packing.
“I’m inclined to agree,” Viktor says, his hands falling at either side of your waist and lining you up with the wet tip of his cock, already ruined with precum.
“I should start preparing you back here…” Jayce says as his large hands find purchase on the round of your ass.
“Are you ready, my love?” Viktor asks with a kiss to your wrist as he lines the tip of his cock up with your entrance, swiping it a few times to ensure you’re wet enough for his entry. You’re beyond wet enough. “It would seem you are…” He laughs as he pushes your hips down on him.
Even though you hadn’t taken your eyes off of Viktor’s cock since you took it out, the size still surprised you as he pressed into your wet cunt.
“Fuck…” Viktor groaned as his neck fell back against the couch cushions. “You feel…even better than I imagined.”
You can’t even form a sentence to reply. The stretch is so intense you’ve forgotten every word in the English language. You can’t even move, paralyzed on his length. Luckily, Viktor solves that problem for you, thrusting up into you suddenly, so that all you can do is let out a strained squeal. Your hands grip his shoulders but you can’t even worry about how your nails might be hurting him, although if his grin is any consolation, he might even be enjoying the pain.
Jayce trails a line of kisses down your spine and when you look back, he’s kneeling on the ground, spitting on two fingers. You barely have time to process what that might mean before those two fingers plunge into your unfilled hole.
“Fuck!” You exclaim, the first word that you can remember in these trying times. The pain lasts only a second before the feeling sends flutters into your stomach, and elsewhere. With renewed vigor, you begin to let yourself bounce on Viktor’s cock, eliciting a lovely little whine from him.
“Tell me how he feels, baby,” Jayce says, removing his two fingers.
“So…so good.”
“I know you can be more descriptive than that,” Jayce laughs as he gets up to stand, wiping some spit onto his plump tip and stroking it.
“I’ve wanted this for so long…” you say, the truest sentence in your head the first full one you can form. “So long… it’s so long…” Okay, back to putting the “senseless” in “fucked senseless.”
The boys laugh, but Viktor’s is a strained, breathless laugh.
“Please Jayce…” you beg, looking back at him over your arched back. “I want both of you…”
“Whatever you say,” Jayce says with a crooked grin as he wraps his hands around your waist, just above Viktor’s, who finds it in him to stop you from bouncing to allow Jayce his entry.
With a full, unexpected thrust, Jayce is completely in you. The stretch burns like Hell at first, but God you’ve never felt so full before.
Jayce lets out a desperate groan, not moving for a few more seconds. When Viktor thrusts into you, Jayce reacts with a moan.
“Fuck, I can…I can feel your cock, Vik,” Jayce says, letting out a breathy laugh.
“Lucky you,” Viktor laughs as he continues to lift his hips to meet your cervix.
With a dismissive scoff, Jayce finally finds the will to thrust again, even if it just results in more wanton, wasted little moans from his mouth: noises you didn’t even think he could make.
With both of them inside you at once, thrusts alternating and hitting spots within you that make you scream their names, it won’t be long until your second orgasm of the night.
Jayce’s hand reaches for your hair, taking a cluster of it and pulling you so that your back arches and your shoulders are flush with his. He cheeks your cheek with a contrasting delicateness and whispers in your ear, “Such a good girl for us. Isn’t she the best, Vik?”
“Better than our hands, absolutely,” Viktor jokes as his chest heaves and his forehead contorts. He’s close, you can tell.
“Fuck, you’re so tight,” Jayce says, releasing your hair and focusing all of his efforts onto your tight little hole, stretching you impossibly wide.
“I-I don’t think I can take much more,” Viktor utters.
“Me neither,” you whimper, pressing your head into the nook between Viktor’s head and shoulder. “Oh fuck…”
“Cum for us, baby,” Jayce says, squeezing your ass cheeks as his last few thrusts are used up. It’s not long before you feel his cock twitching, sending spurts of hot cum into your bottom. “Gods! Fuck, baby!”
The sight of the two of you losing your composure above Viktor is enough to send him over, and as you fall onto the full length of his cock after riding out your own orgasm, he pumps you full of his seed as well, whimpering like a wounded puppy as he ruts into you helplessly one final time. You’re all a pile of spent, sweaty, fucked out messes.
Jayce reluctantly pulls out of you, leaving a splatter of cum falling from your hole onto Viktor’s lap.
“Sorry,” he laughs as he collides with the couch beside Viktor.
You try to pull off Viktor's cock to provide him some relaxation, but he holds you still. “Please, don’t…don’t move yet. I want this to last as long as possible.”
“Feeling sentimental, Vik?” Jayce teases, running a hand through his lab partner’s sweaty hair.
“Feeling…like I’d like to memorize this feeling before I go to bed tonight.”
You laugh and kiss the bridge of his nose before resting your head on Jayce’s neighboring shoulder. “I should’ve put ‘handling two cocks’ on my resume. Maybe then you two would have actually read it.”
“Well, you’re more than welcome to list us as references on future resumes,” Jayce laughs, rubbing your hand softly as the three of you come down from your shared highs. “I’m glad you decided to come tonight. To the gala, I mean.”
You and Viktor both laugh.
“Next time, you won’t have to deal with crude men asking you to dance,” Viktor says as he kisses the top of your head. “You’ll be busy at our side the whole night.”
“I’m never going to move past the pretty little lab assistant allegations, am I?” You smiled into Jayce’s sturdy, shuddering shoulder.
“Maybe not,” Viktor said. “But why should you? You are our beautiful little lab assistant.”
@jeromeslilhoe @justaproudslytherpuff @onyxistired @sseleniaa @clearlycaffeinated-blog @darknessbyme @shoyofroyoyoyo
(pretty much just tagged everyone that commented asking for part two)
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satori-runa · 2 days ago
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—My favourite type
Summary: Mr Crawling learns about kisses and gets used to their different meanings.
Tags: Fluff, Established Relationship, romance
Words: 0,9k
⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹
Mr. Crawling doesn’t fully understand human affection, but he’s managed to grasp one thing: you like to press your lips against his cold ones.
It confused him at first—and perhaps it still does—but if it makes you happy, he’s content to let you continue. In fact, he’s come to appreciate every kiss and has even learned to mimic the gesture, giving you kisses in return.
Kisses on the cheek, for example. They’re quick and fleeting, yet they leave a warmth he cherishes deeply. Afterward, he’ll often refuse to wash his face, touching his cheek repeatedly as if to hold onto the sensation. You usually kiss him on the cheek when you’re leaving for school or work, and to him, it’s like an unspoken promise that you’ll always return.
When you kiss his forehead, he takes it as a gesture of apology or reassurance. It’s your way of silently telling him that everything will be okay. These kisses are reserved for moments when he feels down, and he loves the way you stroke his hair before pressing your lips gently against his forehead. It soothes him in ways words never could.
Then there are the kisses on his hands—quick, yet deeply meaningful. His hands are rough and scarred from crawling, but you don’t seem to mind. You kiss them while cuddling, as if to silently say you love and accept every part of him. It makes him giggle softly, a sound that’s both rare and endearing.
Kisses on the lips are still the most mysterious to Mr. Crawling. He doesn’t quite understand the meaning behind them, but he knows how much they mean to you. The first time you kissed him, he froze, unsure of how to react. His lips, perpetually cold, didn’t seem like they would bring you any comfort, yet you smiled so warmly afterward that he couldn’t find it in himself to question it.
Over time, he began to enjoy these moments, even if he didn’t fully comprehend them. Your kisses on the lips are slow and tender, carrying emotions he can’t put into words. They make him feel connected to you in a way that’s both thrilling and unfamiliar. Sometimes, he even leans in first, mimicking your gestures as best as he can, pressing his lips against yours in his own awkward but endearing way.
He’s noticed how these kisses make your eyes soften and how they often end with your laughter or a whispered confession of love. While the meaning behind them may remain a mystery to him, the happiness they bring you is enough for Mr. Crawling to adore them. They’ve become a part of his world, a small but precious ritual he wouldn’t trade for anything.
⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹
The room was quiet, save for the soft hum of the dim lamp casting a warm glow over the space. Mr. Crawling sat beside you, his posture stiff but his gaze fixed on you with an intensity that sent heat creeping up your neck. He had always been awkward when it came to intimacy, unsure of what to do or how to navigate the nuances of affection, but tonight, something felt different.
“You’re staring,” you teased softly, a smile tugging at your lips.
“You pretty.” he replied, his tone as measured as ever, though the faintest flicker of something—curiosity? longing?—danced in facial expression.
Leaning in, you cupped his face gently, your thumb brushing over the cool, smooth planes of his cheek. “Do you trust me?”
He giggled, the movement bubbly but sure, and it was all the permission you needed. Slowly, your lips met his—softly at first, a tentative touch that carried all the patience in the world. His breath hitched, and you felt the slightest tremor run through him, a clear sign of his inexperience, but he didn’t pull away.
Instead, he leaned into you, his hands eagerly finding their way to your waist. His touch was claiming, almost posessive, as if afraid he won't be able to feel you after pulling away. You deepened the kiss, your lips moving against his with a tenderness that coaxed him to relax, to follow your lead.
When you finally pulled back, his expression was a mix of happiness and confusion, his lips slightly parted as if still processing what had just happened. “Mouth…?” he began, his voice uncharacteristically unsteady.
“That was just the beginning.” you murmured, your fingers trailing down to his collarbone, where you placed another kiss, slow and deliberate. His breath hitched again, and this time, his hands tightened on your waist, pulling you closer.
You continued, your lips exploring the curve of his neck, the sharp edge of his jawline, and every inch of him that seemed to call out for attention. Each kiss was a silent promise, a wordless declaration of how deeply you cherished him. And though he couldn’t fully articulate it, his responses—soft gasps, trembling hands, the way he tilted his head to give you more access—told you everything you needed to know.
“You warm,” he whispered at one point, his voice barely audible, as if he were afraid speaking too loudly might shatter the moment.
“And you’re perfect,” you replied, your words pressed against the cool skin of his neck before your lips found his again. This time, he was the one to lean in first, his movements still hesitant but filled with a quiet determination that made your heart ache with affection.
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jeonginsleftcheek · 1 day ago
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Hate your guts (pt 1)
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~ this fic is my Christmas gift💙 i'm dividing this into two parts bcs tumblr is shit
pairing: rockstar!hyunjin x rockstar afab!reader
genre: enemies to lovers, fluff, smut
wc: 26.6k
synopsis: hwang hyunjin, your sworn enemy. the person who finds and pushes all your buttons, annoys you and makes you angry. the person you're trying to avoid so badly, only to end up practically sharing a bed with him on tour. let the fun begin!
warnings: lots of swearing, smoking and alcohol, mentions of blood and throwing up, mild violence, multiple sex scenes, unprotected sex, oral (f and m), fingering, handjob, semi-public sex, spanking, creampies, mix of degradation and praise
a/n: thank you @frehyun for helping me come up with a name for hyunjin's band💕 also a thank you to @jehhskz @moonchild9350 and @hyunebunx for giving me suggestions, listening to me yap and being supportive while i was writing this🥹🩷🩷🩷 title is inspired by inji, go listen to her music🫶🏻
a little ramble: feel free to skip this! but i just wanted to say that this was supposed to be done sooner cause i had other fics planned out to write but work got in the way. so i wrote this fic whenever and wherever i could; hiding in the bathroom at work, during my break, at the bus station, at 3am when i couldn't sleep etc... it's been a ride and i'm proud of how it turned out, hopefully y'all enjoy it too🥹🫶🏻
“...And do you look into the mirror to remind yourself you’re there? Or have somebody’s goodnight kisses got that covered? When I’m not being honest, I pretend that you were just some lover…”
It was a perfect but short moment.
The fresh breeze coming into the car where the window was opened just a little was enough to give you some air but still managed to hide most of your face from the outside world. 
The music in your ears was loud, so loud that you were drowning in it, the warm and comforting voice, the melancholic guitar riff in the background, and the gentle sluggish drums putting it all together into a song that made your eyes water.
You tuned everything else out as this was the only moment of peace you were going to get today.
You needed every shred of sanity you could gather, and you were determined to hold onto it as much as you could.
Because today, you had an interview with him.
Hwang Hyunjin.
Oh, the name you know so well.
Even thinking about the way it sounds makes you feel angry.
It seemed as if his life mission was to find every single button of yours and push them repeatedly until you exploded like a ticking bomb.
Your mind wandered as you thought about him and how much his existence angered you, your stomach turning into knots.
Or maybe it was just pre-interview nerves.
No matter how many times you talked in front of the camera, it always made you feel anxious and jittery.
Being on stage was fun, there was no anxiety there as whenever you would step on it and see all the people cheering for you and singing along to the music you and your friends wrote, your heart felt full, your soul elated. 
It was an exhilarating feeling you couldn’t even begin to explain to someone who’d never experienced it.
Every concern in your head, every ache in your soul, every tear behind your eyelids threatening to spill got erased when you gave yourself to the stage.
If you could, you would definitely try to avoid the interviews and just perform.
But your record company had other plans.
Being the only up and rising all girls rock band in the company meant that you needed promotion, and what better way to promote than to collab with the only boy rock band in the same company?
Hwang Hyunjin’s band.
Yes, you couldn’t wait for this day to be over.
“Y/n!” you were shaken out of your thoughts, as your manager pulled at your headphones.
“What?” you almost snapped at her, startled by her antics.
“You were staring off into space and muttering angrily about Hyunjin. Something like ‘poke his eyes out’ and ‘conceited dick’.” Ana giggled, covering her lips with her hand as you rolled your eyes, realizing that you’ve already arrived at the building for the interview.
“I’m sure you find all this amusing. But I am not amused at all. Last time I had an interview with that... bastard, everyone thought we were dating and started shipping us.” you recoil at the thought. “I would never date someone like him.”
“Oh y/n, lighten up! You know there will always be rumors of all kinds. The dating rumors are the least harmful ones, trust me. Just act like you’re besties with Hyunjin, for an hour tops.”
You take a deep breath in, then sigh.
“I am a professional. I will do this right.” you nod with a determined tone as Ana bumped her fist with yours.
“That’s the spirit!” your manager smacked your thigh happily as you yelped, making her laugh before she exited the car.
Since you were in the underground parking lot, there was no press around so you walked out of the car freely, going directly to the elevator that would take you to the reception.
Ana pressed the button when you walked in and just as the doors started closing, someone’s combat boot was pushed between the silver doors, stopping them and making them open again.
Your eyes traveled up from the boots, to the tight leather pants and the skimpy tank top revealing a tattoo sleeve, right to the face you hoped you won’t be seeing for at least another ten minutes.
Hyunjin had an obnoxious smirk dancing on his lips as he looked down at you, puffing his chest out like some peacock showing off his feathers and you already wanted to smack the shit out of him.
His manager, Anthony waved at the two of you, ushering him into the elevator.
“Good morning y/n, Ana.” Anthony greeted as Hyunjin kept smirking at you.
“It was good until now.” you crossed your arms over your chest.
Even the cologne Hyunjin was wearing made you want to puke your guts out so you stepped away from him.
A chuckle escaped his lips as he leaned on the wall casually, never taking his eyes off of you.
“Aw, you throwing a tantrum already baby?” he smirked at you and you started fuming.
Both of your managers rolled their eyes, Ana muttering ‘here we go again’ as she shook her head.
“I see you have a new piercing on your face. You needed another hole to let the air out of that empty head?” you said, trying to sound nonchalant and Hyunjin scoffed.
“I’m gonna ignore that comment and focus on the fact that you’re counting my piercings. Observing me, huh?” he looked at you smugly.
“Yeah, cause I have nothing better to do than-”
Ding!
“Alright, break it off kids, were here!” Anthony said, quickly pulling Hyunjin out of the elevator.
“See? I can’t stand him.” you groaned as Ana chuckled.
“You stood up to him pretty well.” Ana winked. “Let's go get some coffee, get you properly awake before the interview.” she gripped your shoulders, shaking you a little as you groaned in protest.
Thankfully, Hyunjin had disappeared somewhere and you were glad he wasn’t around to annoy you, as you made small talk with a few of the staff you knew there since you’ve already been interviewed for the same channel before. 
“Ana, I’m gonna go get some air before we start.” you felt the nerves creeping up inside you.
“Okay, but you have to be back in five minutes.” she reminded you and you gave her a thumbs up, before practically sprinting down the hall to get to the little terrace hidden on the side.
Staff used it for smoke breaks, and you decided to use it to calm your anxiety down.
You flung the door open and stepped out onto the balcony, quickly taking a deep breath in while you looked down at the city before you.
“Needed to see me once more before the interview?” a voice rang out to the left of you.
Hyunjin’s voice.
Of course the bastard is here, you thought, your face becoming hot in annoyance.
“I had no idea you were here, asshole.” you turned to look at him.
He was leaning on the railing, flexing his muscles, a long vein protruding under the layer of the swirling colorful flowers inked into his skin, leading all the way to his long fingers with chipped nail polish and a cigarette pinched between his thumb and index finger.
He looked at you intently through his bangs that were haphazardly falling into his eyes, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip, before his tongue poked out to play with the piercing adorning it.
“I thought you had more originality when it comes to nicknames, darling.” he said mockingly before taking another drag from his cigarette.
“Don’t call me that.” you turned around to leave but Hyunjin’s long arm quickly blocked your way, his palm splayed on the wall.
You looked up at him and stepped back, just as he puffed the smoke out your way.
“You leaving?” he looked smug again, intrusive thoughts of pushing him off the balcony appeared in your mind.
“Yes, this space is too small and your cologne is nauseating.” your face scrunches up.
“Aw, I’ll make sure to find another one you’d like.” Hyunjin smirks.
“Don’t bother.” you ducked under his arm and opened the door, walking away as fast as you could.
At least he helped in a way, you weren’t anxious anymore, just annoyed and waiting for this day to be over. 
“Where is Hyunjin, we’re starting in a minute.” Anthony’s brows furrowed while you were ushered towards the room. 
“Last I saw him, he was smoking on the balcony.” you shrugged as they sat you down. 
The chair where Hyunjin would be sitting was too close for comfort and you wanted so badly to push it away, but you figured it was there because of the camera frame. 
“We’re on in 30 seconds!” one of the staff yelled and you rolled your eyes. 
Of course he was late, the self-centered bastard. You were sure he was enjoying this, everyone waiting on his highness to arrive, everyone panicking around him as he wears that disgusting smug smirk on his face.
“In 10…9…” the staff started counting down just as the door swung open and a breathless Hyunjin ran into the room, almost tripping over your crossed legs before he sat down on the chair next to you. 
After he ran in, one of the girls working there ran in too, quickly taking her place with rosy cheeks and her lipgloss smeared. 
You rolled your eyes and looked at him, the glitter from the girl’s lipgloss was visibly shining on his lips and chin. 
“You have a little something.” you said and he smirked, wiping his chin off before leaning towards you.
“My lips were dry.” he whispered with a wink.
You were more than ready to get this over with, seething with anger at his unprofessional behavior that you didn’t even notice the camera began rolling. 
“... today’s special guests are y/n of Venus Flytrap and Hyunjin of Lycoris Radiata! I hope y’all are as excited as I am, since it’s been so long. Y/n, let’s start with you. You have a new album coming out soon, can we get a little sneak peek of that?” the interviewer, Sarah, asked as you adjusted on your chair. 
“This is our third album now, and this time Steph and Janey participated in the writing more than before, so the songs are really personal to all three of us.”
“Are we finally gonna hear about their love story?” Sarah wiggled her eyebrows. 
“We may.” you smirked at her, not wanting to reveal too much.
“How about yours?” she added on, in the corner of your eye you saw Hyunjin leaning towards you as he stared at you, manspreading like always, his knee knocking into yours. 
“Huh?” 
“Your love story. Is there a special guy or girl in your life?” the interviewer asked, making you feel annoyed instantly. 
You hated being asked questions like that, sometimes it felt like the music you were writing didn’t even matter, all people wanted to know was who you’re fucking. 
“Not at the moment, no.” you forced a smile so you don’t seem rude.
“I thought I was special.” Hyunjin chimed in next to you, bumping his shoulder against yours, that shit eating grin you hate spreading on his face.
Before you could answer, Sarah butted in. 
“Oh, is there something happening between you that we should know about?”
You could just hear the excitement in her voice, the hunger for drama dripping from her lips. 
“Nothing is happening, we just like to joke around like that.” you quickly answered, hoping to deflect her to another question, or that she’d finally talk to Hyunjin and ask him about his new song, so you could take a few moments to breathe. 
“So, you two are close?”
Oh no. 
Here it goes again. 
Last time this happened, your name got dragged on every social media platform.
People who were shipping the two of you got on your nerves, but that wasn’t the biggest problem.
No, it was the people who had sent you hate and death threats, telling you if they saw you next to Hyunjin again you’d be dead. 
It took a toll on your mental health and scared you since you know people can easily find an address or stalk you somewhere and you wanted to avoid any rumors that would endanger your well-being. 
“We're just coworkers.” to your surprise Hyunjin answered nonchalantly, saying exactly what you wanted to say so people would leave you alone. 
Why was there a weird feeling in your chest then?
“Well, sometimes there’s passion at the workplace.” Sarah wasn’t giving it up and you were close to losing your temper and telling her to shove it already, ask some less invasive questions. 
“No passion here, our relationship is strictly professional.” you said, but your skin burned where Hyunjin’s thigh pressed against yours.
In your mind you were cursing both him and Sarah, and even your manager for bringing you here.
Thankfully, she left it at that, continuing with questions about your upcoming tour and Hyunjin’s new song. 
As soon as the interview finished and you were done shaking hands, Ana came to you, her hand on your shoulder as she squeezed. 
In the corner of your eye, you saw Hyunjin slip out of the room.
“Good job.” she smiled as Anthony joined the two of you. 
“I hope you’re hungry, y/n. This time it’s my treat, and there’s this restaurant…”
You tuned Anthony out, completely forgetting that after an interview like this, the tradition is to have dinner with Hyunjin and his manager. 
“Can we skip dinner this time? I just wanna go home and lay down.”
“Nonsense, I hear your stomach growling from here. Come on, it’s free food you can’t say no.” Anthony made a goofy face, hoping to win you over.
“Fine, you had me at free food.” you sighed as Ana nodded with a smile.
“Good! Now where is our other rockstar?” he quickly looked around. “I swear, sometimes I feel like I’m a babysitter, not a manager.”
“I’ll go find him.” you offered, wanting to leave the building as soon as possible.
“Sure.” Ana nodded and you made your way down the hall.
Your footsteps echoed in the empty space, until you came closer to a corner where the sounds of hushed voices and giggles filled up your ears and made you roll your eyes. 
“You know I can’t give you my number, baby. But if there is an empty room around here somewhere…” Hyunjin was talking to the girl from earlier, leaning over her body as she stared up at him like he was a god, her back against the wall.
You cleared your throat, crossing your arms on your chest. 
Both of them looked up at you, Hyunjin giving you a smirk as he straightened up and the girl glared at you but you didn’t give a shit. 
“We need to leave right now. Our managers are waiting for us.” you said simply as the girl whined. 
“Shh, maybe some other time.” he shushed her, leaning towards her and your stomach flipped in disgust. 
He didn’t kiss her, just taunted her before he leaned back and made his way towards you. 
“Cockblocker.” he stuck his tongue out, the piercing adorning it catching the light for a moment. 
“Do you even know her name?” you asked, keeping a fast pace and a good distance away from him.
“No. Does it matter?” he shrugged, his long legs quickly catching up to you in big strides.
“You’re despicable.” your face scrunched up in disgust as you neared the elevator where your managers were waiting and chatting. 
“Throwing some big words around. You sure you know the meaning?” he smirked.
“That’s it.” you said angrily.
“What? You just basically told me I deserve to be hated just cause I wanted to have some fun.” 
You looked at him, full on ready to slap him across his face but Ana stepped between the two of you. 
“Fighting again? Can the two of you behave for just one evening?” Anthony frowned with a sigh as he called the elevator. 
“I can behave.” Hyunjin clicked his tongue cheekily before playing with his lip ring again. 
“Y/n?” Ana looked at you. 
“As long as he doesn’t talk to me, I’ll be fine.” you turned away from Hyunjin, stepping into the elevator. 
This is going to be one awkward dinner. 
-
Choosing to disconnect in the van you put your earphones in, ignoring Hyunjin’s presence right next to you. 
It’s like your managers wanted to have you two as close as possible, like they thought it’d make you hate each other less but at this moment there was nothing more you wanted than to get away from him. 
Or maybe your managers wanted to be closer to each other, you smirked to yourself as Ana twirled her hair around her finger, giggling at something Anthony said. 
You leaned back as the music flooded your ears, your figure slightly turned towards the window as you watched the street lights pass you by, totally unaware of a pair of eyes that were glued to you.
Hyunjin observed you in detail, how shiny your hair was as it cascaded down your back and shoulders, how your brows were slightly creased and your lips pouty as you listened to your music, the steady rise and fall of your chest, the way your fingers played with the hem of your shirt as you pulled on it, how pretty the rings adorning your fingers were, how the necklace you always wore laid gently on your collarbone.
No little detail was skipped as he drinked it all in, thinking you wouldn’t notice. 
But after some time as it got even darker outside, you caught Hyunjin’s reflection in the window as he stared at you with a look on his face that you’ve never seen before. 
Your stomach suddenly swirled as the two of you made eye contact on the glass, Hyunjin’s plump lips falling open before he sat up and looked away, acting like nothing happened. 
The rest of the ride was uneventful and you were tired of this day, having to look at Hyunjin was more exhausting to you than being on stage.
You couldn’t wait to get into your bed and disappear. 
As you walked into the restaurant, you were led to a table and you could see a few people whispering and pointing at you but usually they didn’t bother you much. 
However, this time was different. 
As you scanned the menu, a girl timidly approached your table and you looked up at her as she stood next to Hyunjin. 
“I’m - I’m sorry to bother you but I’m a really big fan and I was wondering if you’d take a picture with me?” she asked Hyunjin who immediately smirked at her.
“No pictures allowed. But you can get his signature.” Anthony chimed in. 
“And who the fuck are you?” the girl changed her demeanor right away, making Hyunjin chuckle.
“Easy there, sweetheart, that’s my boss.” he wiggled his eyebrows at the girl. “Come on I’ll give you a sign and you can write me your number, maybe I’ll call you, hm?” Hyunjin winked at her and you just about lost your appetite completely.
“Oh, sure, I’d love that!” she let out a nasally laugh as he signed a napkin with a pen she somehow produced, giving it back to her as she leaned over to write her number down, making sure her tits were right in his face before she skipped back to her friends. 
“Can there be at least one minute when you’re not trying to fuck something that walks?” you looked at him annoyingly and he laughed.
“Thought you weren’t talking to me.” he smirked. 
“Ugh, you’re so annoying!” you were ready to smack him with the menu in your hand but Ana caught your wrist. 
“I bet you love that about me.” he kept smirking. 
“Love is nothing near what I feel about you.” you said, your teeth gritted.
“There’s a fine line between love and hate, you know.” Hyunjin smirked, leaning into your personal space. 
“Anyways, guys. What are you ordering? Their steak is really good.” Anthony gave an awkward smile as he looked around the table. 
“I want the tomato pasta.” Hyunjin leaned back, making you cackle.
“Isn’t that the kids menu? Makes sense for you somehow.” 
“I’m saving room for dessert.” he winked at you, his tongue running over his lip tentatively, the piercing on it catching the light again. 
“Ew.” you jolted in disgust as he laughed loudly, obviously finding enjoyment in ticking you off. 
The dinner part of the outing was uneventful as everyone ate and made small talk but you didn’t miss how Hyunjin crumpled up the napkin with the fan’s number and threw it aside on the table, not caring about it. 
What an asshole. 
“Let’s make a little toast to this evening and the upcoming albums and tour.” Ana proposed as she lifted her glass up. 
“To us.” Hyunjin smirked as he looked at you. 
“To rock’n’roll!” you added as the four of you clinked your glasses together before taking a big swig of your drinks.
Hyunjin didn’t look at you on the drive home. 
-
Rehearsal was supposed to start at 9am sharp, but you were there bright and early, tuning your guitar. 
Being an early bird, you loved the few moments of peace you could have to yourself, just you and your music. 
Your hand glided easily on the guitar’s neck, taking shapes familiar to your hands, it was muscle memory by now, your fingers picking on the strings and creating the melody you played countless times before. 
You let your voice ring out in the space freely as you sang a song dear to your heart, one you wrote when you were younger. 
You’d always start warming up by singing it to yourself, never having the need to actually put it out into the world. 
You got into it, your eyes closed as you sang with a small smile on your face, the entire world around you disappearing shortly. 
In the distance, you heard footsteps and voices belonging to your bandmates and just as you opened your eyes, you looked through the glass on the door, a shadow slithered across the wall outside, disappearing around the corner.  
You squinted your eyes and stood up, putting your guitar aside and coming closer to the door. 
Just as you were about to reach towards the doorknob, the voices got louder. 
“Are we seriously doing this right now?” Janey asked, the tone of her voice angry. 
“I’m telling you, it was nothing! I don’t know who she is and why she’s texting me!” Steph defended herself as Janey scoffed.
“I’m sick of your excuses. I’m gonna give you one last chance to make it up to me and be truthful, but after that I’m done.” you stepped back as Janey came into view, opening the door angrily.
“Oh, y/n.” she widened her eyes slightly. “Good morning.” she added, scurrying past you to take her place behind the drum kit. 
Steph walked in with a scowl on her face, muttering a ‘morning’ before going straight to her bass guitar. 
It wasn’t the first time they fought or even broke up.
There were many times you had to be the mediator between them, trying to get them to communicate and even though it was frustrating, you didn’t want them to give up on their relationship easily and you couldn’t really take sides since they were both your friends. 
“Shall we?” you asked and they nodded. 
It took some warming up as always but soon you got into the groove, rehearsing for a small performance that was happening tonight.
You were excited because during the performance you planned to reveal your new song and see how people like it in person. 
The only thorn in your eye was the fact that Hyunjin’s band will be there too, performing right after yours. 
You were dreading to see him again, since that interview last week you had managed to avoid him skilfully, but you couldn’t hide forever. 
And even though your rehearsal went somewhat smoothly, there was tension in the air and you didn’t like that feeling.
It felt like a storm was coming and you weren’t sure if you’re ready to take it on. 
-
Evening came around quickly, everyone was already gathered backstage and you were dressed and ready, having rehearsed once more on the stage, tuning your guitars and getting ready for the most fun part. 
You peered from the back, seeing all the people gathering made your heart swell, a smile spreading on your face automatically. 
“Quite a turn out, huh?” 
Your eye literally twitched when you heard Hyunjin’s voice behind you, too close for comfort as his figure loomed over you and you felt the warmth of his body on your back.
You turned your head slightly as he peered down at you with that annoying smirk you absolutely hate. 
“Of course.” you said, squeezing your body between him and the curtain, ignoring him calling after you as you walked away as fast as you could.
You’re not gonna let him ruin tonight for you. 
It was time to go on stage anyways.
You and your girls did a little cheer as tradition before the performance, Ana coming up to hug you and wish you good luck. 
“Break a leg.” Hyunjin appeared out of nowhere and you only rolled your eyes before whipping around and almost smacking him with your hair as you made your way towards the stage. 
As soon as you walked out, loud screams filled up your ears and everything negative was forgotten and locked away in a drawer in the back of your mind. 
“Are you ready to rock tonight?!” you screamed out into the mic as the three of you took your positions. 
Hyunjin watched you from the side with an unreadable look on his face, but you weren’t even aware of it and you didn’t care. 
All you cared about was this moment. 
The moment where you get to share your love for music with thousands of people. 
It was exhilarating, watching the mass of bodies sway like one, hearing all the people singing the lyrics you wrote in unison. 
Nothing could compare to this and every time you stood under that light, you knew you were born for this. 
Giddy from everything, you skipped backstage once you finished playing the last song; which happened to be the new one and people more than loved it judging by their excited screams. 
“That was amazing!” Ana met you halfway, giving high fives to all three of you.
You were still trying to catch your breath as you giggled, when Hyunjin appeared next to you again. 
“Aren’t you gonna wish me good luck?” he smirked at you, shamelessly giving you the elevator eyes. 
“Good luck guys!” Janey yelled at all four members with a smile and a thumbs up but Hyunjin shook his head. 
“I want her to say it or I’m not going out on stage.” he crossed his arms on his chest, pouting and tapping his foot like a child about to throw a tantrum. 
“Come on, Hyun, we need to get out there!” Aiden, the band’s bassist called out. 
“Not moving until y/n wishes me good luck.” he quickly shook his head, his fluffy hair shaking with it and you thought how he resembled a dog; in more ways than one. 
“Fine you spoiled brat. Good luck.” you said sarcastically and he scoffed. 
“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” he smirked, leaning into your personal space again. 
“Get on the stage, Hyunjin.” you sighed and he chuckled in delight. 
“Watch me closely.” he winked before running off. 
“I can just cut the tension in the air with a knife.” Steph smirked at you, wiggling her eyebrows. 
“Oh, fuck off!” you said, smacking the back of her head as she cackled. 
You did end up watching Hyunjin’s band perform after refreshing yourself, but pretty soon you’ve come to regret that decision. 
He was wild while performing, stripping out of his jacket as he screamed into the mic, sweating under the bright lights pointed directly at him making him look like an insane glazed donut as he strutted around the stage acting all smug even though he tripped over his dumb long legs multiple times. 
He’d lean over towards his little groupies, holding their hand or caressing their faces, blowing them kisses and whatnot, all of that behavior making your gut churn in disgust. 
The last straw was when he laid down on his back and started humping the air while moaning into the mic. 
Even though the crowd screamed louder than before and the horny fans almost started hyperventilating, you felt second hand embarrassment at witnessing this. 
Hyunjin continued moaning before he threw his head back, his eyes locking with yours. 
A shiver ran down your spine as he smirked at you, all sweaty, his hair sticking to his forehead, his piercings shining in the light, the veins on his neck visible and his cheeks red. 
A warmness spread in your navel as he winked, licking at his lip slowly, taunting you before he moaned extra loudly, the pornographic sound echoing in your ears. 
You frowned suddenly at your heart beating fast and your legs pressing together. 
What the fuck is wrong with me?, you thought, quickly shaking your head as he finally looked away from you and stood up. 
Of course, he got showered by multiple bras on stage, you think you even caught a glimpse of someone throwing their panties and you couldn’t watch anymore. 
It was truly disgusting. 
You quickly shoved past some staff members watching and gasping at whatever Hyunjin was doing now. 
Pushing past everyone, you made your way outside to get some fresh air in the hidden area behind backstage, where staff and musicians usually smoked or chilled after a performance. 
You greeted some of the staff before finding a spot where you could be alone. 
You were about to relax when you heard kissing sounds and as you turned to look around the corner you saw Steph kissing some random girl. 
You couldn’t contain the gasp that flew out of your mouth, making them jolt away from each other. 
Steph’s eyes widened when she saw you and you quickly spun around, noticing Janey had just walked outside too and started looking around. 
“Y/n, wait!” Steph yelled behind you. “It’s not what you think! Please, don’t tell Janey!” she looked at you desperately but you hated cheaters more than anything, seeing her betrayal with your own eyes broke any sort of connection you had with her. 
“Isn’t it? Your tongue was down some girl’s throat. Now, what do you call that?” you scoffed.
“What?” Janey appeared next to you, just as the girl who Steph was kissing before stood behind her. 
“It’s not like that, I-”
You could see Janey’s eyes filling up with tears. 
“That’s it, I’m done. With you and with the band. With everything.” you gasped when she said that, your eyes wide. 
“Janey, don’t be like that, it didn’t mean anything to me-” Steph started.
“Liar, you told me you’d leave her for me.” the girl behind Steph chimed in. 
“Oh, so this has been going on for some time?” Janey looked between Steph and the girl. 
“Let’s talk about this inside.” you tried to lead them in as people were whispering and looking at the four of you. 
“I have nothing else to say. I’m sorry, y/n. I can’t be a part of this band anymore when all it’s gonna do is remind me of this cheating whore.” Janey spat before turning around and leaving. 
“Okay, I deserve that but like I’m sorry that-”
“Save it, Steph. I can’t believe you did this. You put your desires over the well-being of our band. You do understand that your actions not only affect Janey, but also me, Ana and the rest of the record company?” you asked her, your blood boiling with anger. 
“I- I’m sorry, let me make it right. I’ll talk to Janey and she’ll forgive me once she understands-” 
“You think I want you to be part of the band after this? That’s rich.” you turned around too, in hopes of finding Janey. 
“Y/n, you can’t throw me out of the band!” Steph yelled behind you. 
“I just did.” you said coldly before opening the door and rushing into the backstage room. 
“Is Janey here?” you asked Ana and before she could answer, someone bumped into you rather strongly, making you stumble backwards a little.
You turned around angrily, noticing a very sweaty and breathless Hyunjin staring at you with a smile, his tongue lolling out of his lips as he played with his piercing. 
“So, did you like my performance?” he winked at you. “Did it get you excited?” the famous shit eating grin spread on his face as he leaned in closer to you, a few droplets of sweat dripping from his hair.
“I don’t have time for your games, Hyunjin. Please leave me alone.” you said annoyingly, noticing he had a bra hooked around his hand.
“What’s going on?” Ana asked, looking at you confusedly.
You were shaken up, the anger you felt manifesting into tears and you cursed yourself for being so emotional and quick to cry. 
“Woah, you’re crying!” Hyunjin stepped even closer to you but you’ve had enough of him. 
“Get away from me, asshole!” you channeled all your anger his way as you pressed your hands on his chest, pushing him away. 
Hyunjin stumbled with a gasp, a shocked look on his face. 
“What the hell is happening here?” Anthony quickly came to Hyunjin’s side as his bandmates watched everything unfold. 
“Ana, can we talk in private?” you glared once more at Hyunjin and she quickly nodded, hooking her arm with yours and taking you away from the scene. 
Hyunjin watched your figure disappear out of view with a deep frown on his face. 
-
It’s been a dreadful week.
You’ve tried talking to Janey multiple times, begging her to come back, promising to her that you wouldn’t let Steph come anywhere near her. 
Sadly, Janey was insistent on not wanting to continue with the band since lots of the songs were written by her and her now ex girlfriend who betrayed her in such an ugly way. 
You talked to Ana almost every day on the phone but you weren’t up for any visits, choosing instead to wallow in your sadness. 
Your band fell apart, your friends were no longer together, your album couldn’t be published and people were speculating, spreading rumors, you were getting numerous curious comments asking what happened to Venus Flytrap. 
You had no idea what to do at that moment. 
You just needed some time to yourself to figure out what your next step should be. 
You were lounging in your bed when your phone buzzed for the hundredth time.
Rolling your eyes, you grabbed it and saw that you had a text message from an unknown number. 
???: hey there pretty girl! don’t be so sad! there are worse things than your band falling apart. 
you: what, like death? and who is this? 
???: your favorite person in the whole world<3 
you: hyunjin?? 
???: aw i knew i was your favorite!
You started seething immediately as you sat up, your heart beating fast instantly as you worked yourself up into annoyance.
You quickly put his contact under ‘asshole’. 
you: no, i knew that a conceited answer like that can only come from an asshole like you.
you: now, what do you want?
asshole: did you save my contact as asshole? or dickhead? which one is it?
you: wouldn’t you like to know. seriously what the hell do you want. i’ll block you if you don’t get on with it
asshole: just wanted to see if you maybe want to talk to someone
you: if i did, i wouldn’t choose you. have a nice day away from me hyunjin
Hyunjin didn’t answer your last text, instead he left you on read and you tossed your phone across your bed, now feeling even more infuriated than before. 
You squinted your eyes, grabbing your phone again and texting Ana.
you: did you give my number to hyunjin??
Ana: i’m sorry! he wouldn’t stop bugging me about it! pls don’t be mad
Just great. 
Why is he insisting on annoying you even when you feel down in the dumps, you thought, he always has to come in and make you feel even more mad. 
You were hoping that with your last text he’d finally leave you alone.
You also hoped you wouldn’t be seeing him any time soon.
But boy, you couldn’t be more wrong.
-
“What?!” you yelled so loudly that it echoed off of the office walls.
“Y/n, please we don’t know any other solution. Lycoris Radiata is going to tour in 4 days and you’re the only person who knows their songs by heart. You can also kick ass with drums. And well, you’re kinda free now.” Anthony grimaced. 
“You can’t do this to me. I can’t spend so much time with Hwang Hyunjin!” you whined like a child, kicking your legs under the table as Ana gave you an apologetic look.
“Gossiping about me?” Hyunjin strolled in, with that annoying smirk, his hair in a little ponytail, showing more of his ear piercings and his sharp jawline. 
He took off his leather jacket, throwing it haphazardly on the chair before he plopped down into it. 
He spun around in the chair to face you as you looked at him with a scowl on your face.
Brendon, his guitarist and Aiden joined the meeting right after that.
“So, ready to be my new drummer?” Hyunjin wiggled his eyebrows at you.
“Not a chance in hell.” 
“Y/n, please, we have no other choice! Phil had to leave so suddenly due to his sickness. We couldn’t be prepared for something like that. We can’t afford to postpone the tour now.” Brendon pleaded as Aiden nodded next to him. 
You leaned back into the chair, pursing your lips as you gave it a thought.
Of course they’d choose you. 
You knew their songs by heart since you shared so many tours together but you had your own bus and mostly ran into Hyunjin either backstage or at an afterparty but if you would become a part of his band you’d spend most of your time with him. 
But this could be good for you to give yourself time to decide what you wanna do next while touring with Lycoris Radiata. 
And since you were a multi instrumentalist, playing the drums wouldn’t be a problem for you.
You smirked suddenly before tilting your head at Hyunjin. 
“Fine. I will tour with you under one condition.” you said. 
“Anything!” Anthony piped in but you kept staring at Hyunjin. 
“I want you to beg.” your smirk deepened and Hyunjin’s eyes widened slightly, his fingers twitching against his thighs. 
“What?” he blinked repeatedly and you chuckled under your breath. 
“Beg me to join your band or I’m not doing it.” 
Hyunjin’s lips opened and closed a few times before he frowned.
“I don’t beg. I demand.” he smirked, taunting you.
“Well, in case you haven’t noticed, you’re in no position to have demands. However, I am. So if I want you to beg, Hyunjin, you’re gonna beg.” you sat up straight as he looked at you in pure shock. 
“My, my darling. I didn’t know you were this commanding. I kinda dig that.” he wiggled his eyebrows. 
“Any day now.” you were ready to stand up and leave. 
The room was eerily silent and Brendon opened his lips to speak up but Anthony grabbed his wrist and quickly shook his head. 
You could see the gears turning in Hyunjin’s head as he stared at you, and slowly but surely his cheeks became red as he closed his eyes in frustration.
“Pretty please, join my band and come on tour with us?” he said, rather quickly and you tsked. 
“Not convincing enough.” you enjoyed having the upper hand, the roles reversed as you pushed Hyunjin’s buttons. 
“What do you want me to do?! Kneel at your feet?” he whined.
“Maybe.” you shrugged. 
“Unbelievable! I’m the one doing you a favor anyways.” Hyunjin said, clearly annoyed and you were reveling in it. 
You wanted him to get the taste of his own medicine.
“Is that so?” you raised your eyebrow as he breathed hard. 
“Yes, your band is as good as dead right now, just like your career.” he said with a smug smirk, making everyone gasp. 
“Hyunjin!” Aiden scolded him and you stood up, feeling your eyes water as you lifted your hand, your palm colliding with Hyunjin’s cheek. 
The force of your slap turned his head right and he grabbed at his cheek immediately, his eyes wide, his face becoming red quickly.
“Fuck you!” you said angrily before turning around and leaving the room as tears started sliding down your cheeks. 
“Now look at what you did!” Anthony was mad and Hyunjin shrugged with a frown, realizing quickly that maybe he did cross a line.
“How could you say something like that to y/n?” Brendon asked, and Hyunjin looked at them, feeling dejected suddenly as he rubbed at his cheek. 
There was strength in your hands, that he was sure of. 
“I fucked up, okay! I didn’t mean to say that.” he shook his head. “I will make this right.” Hyunjin added, standing up. 
“Dude, I think you’re the last person y/n wants to see right now.” Aiden said. 
“But I have to apologize to her.” Hyunjin chewed on his lip, playing with his piercing as a nervous habit.
“I’ll go with you then.” Aiden nodded, standing up as well. 
“Fine.” Hyunjin sighed. 
You sat in the swinging chair on one of the many balconies of the building, letting your tears slip down your cheeks as the wind picked up, making you shiver. 
Hyunjin and Aiden found you pretty quickly and before Aiden could follow him to the balcony, Hyunjin smacked his hand on Aiden’s chest. 
“Please, just wait here.” 
“Fine, but if you provoke her again, I’m coming in.” Aiden sighed, shaking his head. 
The door of the balcony opened and in the corner of your eye you saw Hyunjin’s combat boots and his leather pants. 
“Go away.” you said quietly, sniffling and turning away from him.
Hyunjin stood frozen for a moment, holding his jacket in his hand and you took that time to quickly wipe away your tears. 
You didn’t want to look weak in front of your enemy. 
Footsteps approached and suddenly you felt a weight on your shoulders and back. 
You looked down, realizing that Hyunjin had put his jacket around you and it smelled like cigarettes mixed with cologne he always wears and something distinctly him. 
You took a deep breath and for some reason, calmness settled all over your body. 
“I’m really sorry for what I said back there. It was way out of line.”
You didn’t say anything, still refusing to look at him. 
“And I’m sorry about your band. I know that must be hard to go through. I feel bad that my drummer had to leave, I don’t know how I’d feel if-”
“Are you done?” you turned to look at him and his lips pressed together. 
“I don’t care how you feel, Hyunjin. Just like you didn’t care about hurting me moments ago.” you stood up, ready to throw his jacket away. 
“Well, I apologized!” he threw his hands up, rolling his eyes. “Though, I’m glad I have that effect on you, I didn’t know you cared so much about what I think or say.” he smirked suddenly. 
You were tempted to slap his other cheek at that moment, and Aiden must’ve sensed it so he walked out to the balcony. 
“Are we okay?” he asked, gulping. 
“Not until he apologizes properly.” you crossed your arms with a smirk, and he knew exactly what you meant.
“Ugh! This is the first and last time I get on my knees for you.” Hyunjin said annoyingly as he kneeled down and you chuckled in delight. 
“I’m sorry for being an asshole and if you could find it in your heart to forgive me, I’d be honored for you to join my band.” he batted his eyelashes at you. 
“Mm…” you pursed your lips, acting like you were contemplating it as he rolled his eyes again. 
“Fine. I accept.” you shrugged and Hyunjin stood up quickly with a smile.
“Welcome to the band, sweetheart!” he smirked, opening his arms for a hug and you quickly dodged under his arm and slithered away. 
“You’re welcome.” you smirked back, grabbing his jacket and throwing it at him.
He caught it just as you walked back into the hallway, grinning to himself as you walked away. 
“She wants me so bad.” Hyunjin said as Aiden’s eyebrows lifted comically. 
“I think she wants to kill you.” he said and Hyunjin chuckled, smacking Aiden’s shoulder and grabbing him. 
“I know what chicks like, okay?” 
“You also know that y/n isn’t one of your little groupies?” Aiden sighed.
“I know, don’t worry. She’s special.” Hyunjin smiled, hugging his jacket to his chest, getting a whiff of your perfume that stayed on it.
Aiden shook his head with a chuckle. 
This is gonna be one hell of a tour. 
-
The party was in full swing. 
That morning you had packed for the tour, your stomach swirling with nerves so much that you thought you’d throw up. 
You were actually going on tour with Lycoris Radiata, for at least six months. 
A lot can happen in that amount of time and while you were nervous to spend so much time with the infuriating and annoying asshole aka Hwang Hyunjin, you were also excited for the new experience and the places you’ll get to see.
Of course, you couldn’t leave without attending a ‘have an amazing tour’ party that was mostly exclusive only for staff and a few other people. 
You were on your second glass of beer as you sat at the bar, the cold bitter liquid not calming you down as it should. 
Hyunjin was having a jolly old time, entertaining some girls of course and if you had rolled your eyes any harder, they’d get stuck in the back of your head. 
“Don’t take that to heart.” Aiden suddenly appeared next to you.
“What?” you chuckled awkwardly, shaking away your thoughts.
“Hyunjin flirting like that. He’s a lot of talk, more than anything else.”
“Why would I care if he flirts with some random girls?” you frowned. “It’s none of my business.”
“Right.” Aiden pursed his lips. “Well, I’m gonna go find Anthony.”
“Sure.” you shrugged, your eyes flying back to Hyunjin and the girls who were salivating all over him. 
He was showing them his biceps and they were touching him like they’ve never seen a human arm in their life. 
You scoffed, shaking your head when a voice behind you startled you. 
“Now, why is a pretty lady such as yourself sitting all alone?” 
You turned around with your eyebrow lifted, coming face to face with a stranger. 
“Because it’s her choice.” you answered.
“Oh, feisty and pretty? That’s a fun combo.” the guy smirked, his arm leaning on your chair, almost hugging your waist as he got closer to you. 
Your nose scrunched up, he smelled of alcohol and you really wanted him to leave you alone. 
“I’m pretty boring, trust me.” you said.
“Oh, I don’t believe that. In fact, I think if you were to let me take you home tonight, you and I could have so much fun.” he smirked and you were pretty sure you barfed in your mouth a little.
“No, thank you.” you said sarcastically. 
He chuckled, placing his arms around you.
You were completely unaware of Hyunjin who was keeping an eye on you and the suspicious guy. 
As soon as the man placed his hands on you, Hyunjin pushed the girl he was talking to aside, his heavy combat boots taking him right to you and the disturbance in your personal space.
“I don’t really take no for an answer.” he said and your heart sank momentarily. 
“Back off man!” you tried to push him away but he wasn’t budging.
Suddenly the guy was ripped away from you with such force that it pulled you to your feet.
You grabbed at the bar to steady yourself and gasped just in time to see Hyunjin swinging his fist at the man. 
“Oh my god!” you almost screamed, your eyes wide as the guy fell to the floor instantly. 
People quickly gathered around and Anthony was trying to push them away so he could grab Hyunjin. 
“The lady said no, you fucking dirtbag!” Hyunjin said, swinging at the man again. 
“Oh my god, Hyunjin! Stop, it’s okay, please!” you panicked, never seeing him this angry or violent. 
“Hwang! Enough!” Anthony yelled, grabbing Hyunjin’s arms and lifting him up as he fought against his manager, still trying to punch the man who was now laying on the floor with his face completely bloody. 
You kept looking at Hyunjin with a shocked expression as he breathed hard, his face red and sweaty from anger, the veins on his neck and forehead popping out.
“I stopped, now let me go.” he said through his teeth as someone lifted up the unconscious guy.
“Hyunjin, if this gets out to the press it could turn into a fucking shitstorm! What the hell is wrong with you?!” Anthony yelled angrily as Hyunjin stood with his fists still clenched. 
“He made y/n uncomfortable and he deserved it.” Hyunjin answered before turning towards you. 
“Are you okay?” he asked, his eyes softening as you stared at him in disbelief.
“I-I’m fine.”
“Good. I’m done with this party.” Hyunjin said, turning on his heel and grabbing his jacket before he walked out, leaving you standing there still trying to process what the hell just happened.
-
You were half asleep when Ana drove you to the tour bus. 
You barely slept last night, tossing and turning in your bed as the images of Hyunjin punching that guy from the party kept swimming in your head. 
Never has a man defended you like that and you’ve never seen Hyunjin look so livid before. 
He was usually either smirking, laughing or being a menace, ready to always annoy you but you’ve never seen him actually angry.
It was kind of… hot, you thought before shaking it off.
You wondered why he reacted like that.
“You okay?” Ana snapped you out of your vegetative state as you sank in the passenger seat, arms crossed and hood over your head. 
“Hm? Yeah, just sleepy.” you sat up and looked around. 
The sun wasn’t even up yet. 
“You can continue sleeping on the tour bus. We’re here.” she chuckled. 
“Oh, goody.” you sighed before opening the door and walking out.
“Morning, ladies.” Anthony all but ran up to Ana, helping her with yours and her bags since she’d be joining you too. 
“Morning? It’s still night.” you checked your phone, seeing it was 4:13am. 
“Not where I come from. You see-” Anthony started.
“Okay, I’m too asleep to listen to this.” you shook your head before strolling towards the bus. 
You were about to just climb in and go straight to the nearest bed you could find but you heard some quiet music coming from behind the back of the bus. 
You approached slowly and peeked around to see Hyunjin leaning on the wall, smoking and listening to some quiet music. 
He looked up instantly, seeming like a deer caught in headlights for a short moment. 
“Remembered to put on a jacket?” he smirked. 
“Ha ha. Very funny.” you said and he shrugged, looking away and turning the music off. 
As he brought his cigarette to his lips, you noticed his knuckles were red and injured. 
“I guess I should thank you for last night.” you said quietly, swinging on your feet awkwardly as you dug your hands in your pockets. 
“It was nothing.” he shook his head quickly. 
“I wouldn’t call that nothing.” you motioned to his hand. 
“This?” he looked at his hand and chuckled. “You should see the other guy.” he winked at you, making you roll your eyes. 
“Clever.” 
“Come to think of it, it does hurt a bit. Wanna kiss it better?” Hyunjin smirked, puffing the smoke out. 
“Bite me.” you gave him the middle finger as he laughed, the sound ringing out in the quiet early hours.
“I might. If you ask nicely.” he said with that smug expression of his.
“I’m going inside.” you shivered, realizing how cold it actually was, ignoring his witty quips. 
“I’m right behind ya.” he threw his cigarette on the floor before stepping on it. 
Your heart started beating fast out of nowhere as his heavy boots stomped behind you, the sound escorting you to the entrance of the bus. 
“Oh wow.” your eyes widened as you looked around the living/kitchen area. 
“You like?” Hyunjin leaned over your shoulder and you jolted away from him, making him snicker. 
“Yeah, it’s… not what I expected. It looks more cozy than I thought it would.” you nodded.
“You should thank the interior designer.” he wiggled his eyebrows.
“And who might that be?” you asked, making your way to the bunk bed area. 
“Oh, just a guy. He takes payment in kisses.” Hyunjin bumped into you as you stopped. 
“Is that guy maybe you?” you turned around, not realizing immediately just how close Hyunjin was to you. 
“Maybe it is.” he leaned towards you with a smirk and you squealed a little, stepping away from him.
“Give it up. I’m taking the top bunk bed.” you pointed to the left side. 
“Not fair! I always take that one!” Hyunjin pouted.
“Tough luck, I called it first.” you smirked, taking off your jacket and throwing it up on the bed. 
“Or… we can both sleep up there?” Hyunjin said and you scoffed, pushing him away. 
“Like hell!” 
“Are y’all fighting this early?” Brendon came in, looking confused and disheveled. 
“No, it’s foreplay.” Hyunjin wiggled his eyebrows and you made gagging noises. 
“Here’s your bag, y/n.” Ana appeared with your luggage. 
Aiden and Anthony came in after and everyone took some time to unpack and get settled. 
“I heard we have two pretty ladies with us, so you fellas gotta behave now.” you heard an unknown voice and leaned over to see who it belonged to.
“Oh, we always behave, Stu.” Hyunjin smirked. 
“Yes, especially you.” the man, Stu, rolled his eyes. 
“This is our main driver Stu.” Aiden introduced you and Ana to him. 
“Pleasure to meet you ladies. Hopefully the road won’t be too bumpy.” he winked before turning around and leaving. 
“Where is Bradley?” Anthony piped in suddenly.
“Who’s Bradley?” you asked, at this moment you just wanted to get everything over with and catch up on some sleep.
“Our sound guy.” Brendon answered. “And lights guy. He is underpaid and overworked, basically.” he added, giving Anthony a pointed look. 
“Hey, it’s not my fault Mike quit!” he lifted his hands up. “Besides, we’re picking someone up in the next town over. He’ll be our roadie along with Bradley.” 
As they started discussing, you slipped away to the bathroom, where you could change in peace and get ready for bed. 
You leaned on the counter, staring at yourself in the mirror as you listened to the muffled voices talking. 
Were you doing the right thing? 
Accepting to join another band when your heart still hurts from the sudden falling apart between your friends and band members… 
“Y/n, I need the bathroom!” Hyunjin’s voice brought you back to reality and you stood up straight. 
“I’m not done yet!” you yelled back. “You have another bathroom!” you added annoyingly, preparing to brush your teeth. 
“Aiden hogged it. Are you naked or something? Cause I swear I don’t mind.” 
You could just hear the smirk in his voice. 
Rolling your eyes, you opened the door and Hyunjin gave you the elevator eyes and they lingered on your legs in the shorts you put on, going up to your chest and lingering again before he looked up at your face. 
He was playing with his lip ring again, his cheeks rosy. 
“What do you want?” you spat.
“Just wanna brush my teeth.” he looked at you smugly. 
You didn’t say anything, just stepped aside and continued brushing your teeth. 
You opted to leave the door opened since it felt awkward to have them closed. 
“Isn’t this fun, us brushing our teeth together? It’s kinda domestic, don’t you think?” Hyunjin said suddenly, the familiar smirk on his face. 
“Yes, thrilling.” you answered sarcastically. “You don’t have to act nice, Hyunjin. Everyone knows we hate each other so let’s just not talk too much and try to coexist peacefully for the sake of everyone else on this tour.”
Hyunjin opened his mouth to answer but you quickly turned around and left, not wanting to get into it with him when you were tired and nervous. 
He smirked to himself, shaking his head. 
The only thing stuck in his brain at that moment was the way you said his name. 
God, he loved it. 
-
You slept for a few hours only, waking up early yet again as the bus rolled to a stop at a diner. 
“Rise and shine, princess.” Hyunjin’s head popped up in front of you as he held onto your bed.
“Fuck off.” you grabbed your pillow and smacked him with it, almost making him fall down but he managed to land on his feet. 
You heard a smack and Hyunjin saying ‘ow’ quietly before Aiden said,
“Come down if you’re hungry.” 
You chuckled to yourself, waiting for them to leave so you could get ready.
Of course, as soon as you sat down in a booth, Hyunjin pushed Brendon aside and quickly slid next to you. 
“Oh my god.” you rolled your eyes. 
You were squished between him and Ana on your other side, and he was too close for comfort. 
You could feel the heat of his body and smell the scent of his shampoo and body wash mixed with cigarettes. 
You tried to ignore the feelings stirring in your gut as you ordered.
“So, how did you like sleeping on top of me?” Hyunjin smirked, tilting his head. 
“Not as much as you liked sleeping under me, weirdo.” you scoffed at him and he chuckled.
“I liked it very much, so that must mean you liked it at least a little.” he said as the food arrived and your stomach growled. 
“Whatever you say.” you brushed him off and started to dig in. 
“We’re close to our first destination.” Anthony started after a sip of coffee. “We will arrive around 4pm and have lunch, then we get ready and do the soundcheck. Questions?”
Everyone shook their heads no. 
You suddenly felt nervous tingles running up your spine, and for some reason Hyunjin felt it. 
“Don’t worry princess, you’ll do great.” he smirked, placing his hand on top of your wrist. 
You snatched your hand away and looked at him. 
“I know I will, I was just wondering if you’ll be able to keep up with me.” you smirked back at him. 
“You’ll be surprised at how well I can keep up, baby.” Hyunjin leaned into your personal space, his eyes boring into yours and you felt your cheeks burning.
“Be nice, you two.” Ana chuckled.
“What? I haven't called him an asshole yet. Emphasis on yet.” 
Hyunjin laughed next to you, his arm brushing against yours.
Oh, he is so going to enjoy this.
-
It was such a good, familiar feeling to sit behind a drum kit after being the main vocalist and guitarist of your band for so long. 
The venue was empty at this moment and the sound of the drums echoing in the space was grand. 
You closed your eyes and started playing a groove to get into the mood and Hyunjin was lured towards the stage instantly. 
He watched you in awe even though he saw you play the drums before, they never had the name of his band on the front of them. 
Hyunjin felt proud; that his band has come so far and honored that you were now a part of their story. 
He hoped you’d enjoy the tour and judging by the blissful look on your face, you were off to a good start. 
“Let’s go, Hyun.” Brendon smacked his shoulder, pulling him back to reality. 
It was time for the soundcheck, and when everyone was finally on stage, tuning their instruments, you realized that this is real. 
Excitement replaced any nerves you had and you were ready to tear the stage apart. 
“Let’s jam a little.” Aiden smiled as everyone agreed.
He started to play a melody on his bass so you followed him with the drums.
You were so focused on grooving that you didn’t notice Hyunjin winking at his two other band members.
When it was time for him to start playing his guitar, Hyunjin decided to play totally out of tune. 
You looked up at him with your brows furrowed as you tried to follow him.
He changed it up suddenly, that familiar shit eating grin spreading on his face as you followed him yet again. 
Brendon and Aiden stopped playing as they observed the two of you, battling it out with your instruments. 
Hyunjin was trying hard to get on your nerves, push your buttons but you weren’t gonna let him in. 
“Having some trouble following, princess?” he yelled over the noise. 
You looked at him pointedly as he started to play another melody that made no sense and you’ve had enough. 
Hyunjin had a way of getting under your skin and he obviously knew that. 
Your arm lifted up on its own accord and you swung one of your drumsticks right at Hyunjin, aiming for his empty head. 
His eyes widened and he managed to dodge it in a close second as the drumstick clattered on the floor. 
“Ha! Attempted murder! Y’all saw that!” he pointed at you, while looking at his friends and you started laughing. 
“Don’t worry, even if it did hit your head, it couldn’t damage it more than it already is.” you smirked as Hyunjin huffed. 
“Oh baby, keep talking. Degradation is my thing.” he motioned towards his ear with his fingers and you made a disgusted face at him. 
Of course, the asshole laughed at your expression. 
“Guys, can we actually practice?” Brendon chimed in as Aiden nodded. 
Instead of answering verbally, you started playing so everyone joined in. 
-
“Are you nervous?” Aiden asked as the venue filled up and it all became real.
“Nope, I’m ecstatic!” you answered, twirling your drumstick in your hand. 
“Trying to murder me once again?” Hyunjin appeared next to you as you almost hit him with it.
“Trust me, if I was trying to kill you, you’d already be dead.” 
“Nobody’s killing anyone, we’re already short on staff.” Anthony smirked before putting his arms around Hyunjin and Brendon’s shoulders. 
“Good luck guys! And y/n, of course. I know y’all will do great.” Anthony smiled. 
Ana came up to you to hug you. 
“Good luck, babe!” she smiled. 
“Thank you.” you gave her a bone crushing hug, she was always like a sister to you and having her here now meant a lot to you. 
As soon as you walked out on stage, the screams of all the people that came to see you perform were deafening but heartwarming. 
Hyunjin was the main character on stage, that you were convinced of as whatever he did resulted in even louder screaming. 
You didn’t mind being the backbone of the band, playing drums to you was a meditative and transcending experience and anything you were angry or upset about, you could take it out while playing. 
Performing with Lycoris Radiata was fun as fuck, even more than you hoped for; seeing Hyunjin up close made you realize just why people loved him so much. 
He was charismatic, cool and lame at the same time, ethereally beautiful and down to earth, fun but sensitive, alluring but cute, he gave his all and more. 
He was everything wrapped up in one and you wondered how that was possible. 
A particular moment struck you; when you were playing a slower song, Hyunjin sang so delicately, his back turned to you as the lights beamed down on his frame, his sweaty hair and skin making him look like he was glowing. 
Your heart skipped a beat but you ignored it. 
Near the end of the show, Hyunjin did his usual routine which consisted of making everyone’s panties wet; it was time for the sex song he always sang near the end which made you feel embarrassed and uncomfortable but something about being on stage with them got you in the right mood for it.
The part came up; and Hyunjin was on the floor, moaning and humping the air as you followed his moans with the heavy sound of your drums. 
Hyunjin smirked, throwing his head back to look at you as he continued his ministrations and you continued following him on the drums. 
Aiden and Brendon joined in as Hyunjin became louder, resulting in you hitting the drums harder as the sounds all came together in a crescendo. 
You wished that you could press your thighs together to create pressure and friction because the whole thing managed to get you wet too. 
A part of you felt ashamed but you didn’t give a flying fuck in that moment, completely letting go of everything as the four of you continued jamming together. 
Hyunjin stood up with the biggest smile on his face, winking at you as he ran a lap around the stage before literally diving into the audience. 
You gasped to yourself but continued playing the outro to the performance while Hyunjin was being groped by horny fanboys and fangirls. 
Security was there to pull him back up on stage safely and Hyunjin sang the end of the song before screaming a ‘thank you’ into the mic. 
After all four of you bowed a hundred times, you finally ran backstage where a very sweaty Hyunjin started hugging everyone, eventually coming up to you. 
“Don’t even think about it.” you said as he opened his arms. 
“Not thinking, just doing it.” he smirked and before you could run away, his arms wrapped around you and he pulled you into his body. 
“Ew!” you squirmed against him and he chuckled. 
“Don’t pretend you don’t like it.” he held you tighter and your heart leaped out of your chest. 
The bastard smelled so good even after sweating so much and it annoyed you how seemingly perfect he was. 
“What, a gross sweaty man slobbering all over me?” you scrunched up your face as you finally pushed him away.
“I wasn’t slobbering but if you’re into that-”
“Please shut up while I’m still in a good mood.” you stopped him and he laughed. 
“It’s so fun messing with you, darling.” Hyunjin ruffled your hair as you practically hissed at him, making him laugh again. 
“You guys were fucking amazing!” Anthony yelled excitedly. 
“I don’t know about you but I need some food.” Aiden piped in. 
“I’m feeling thirsty, honestly.” Brendon added.
“Are we partying or what?” Hyunjin smirked, wiggling his eyebrows. 
“Hell yeah, we are!” Anthony high-fived him. 
You ended up having the afterparty in the bus, ordering some food and acquiring some beer as you sat around in the living space. 
Of course, as soon as you walked in, you ran for the shower, with Hyunjin cascading behind you and asking if he could join you because “it’ll be done faster”. 
“Dream about it, asshole!” you yelled before closing the bathroom door. 
“Oh, I do.” Hyunjin smirked to himself, but you didn’t hear him. 
The excitement of the performance slowly washed away from your body along with Hyunjin’s scent that lingered after he hugged you, and you felt happy and cozy. 
All of you finally settled down to eat and Hyunjin claimed the spot next to you, of course, his long slender fingers stealing your fries constantly.
“Will you back off! You have your own fries.” you slapped his arm as he whined. 
“Yours are tastier.” he claimed with that familiar smirk of his.
“Are they now?” you smirked back. 
“Mhm.” he nodded pointedly.
“Let’s see then.” you grabbed your box and dumped all your fries into his box before mixing them up. “Pick one up and distinguish if it’s from your box or mine.”
Hyunjin stared at you with his lips parted before he smiled. 
“Aw, we’re sharing.” he said and continued eating as you heard some chuckles around the table. 
“For fucks sake.” you muttered, shaking your head.
The rest of the night was full of chatter and laughter, and you didn’t mind Hyunjin’s arm or leg brushing against you ever so often, or his loud laughter ringing in your ears or him constantly poking at you. 
It’s barely been one day on tour and he wasn’t as unbearable as you thought he’d be. 
Everyone was tired and you had to hit the road so it was finally peaceful, before a loud scream startled everyone.
“Oh no, I am going to die!” Hyunjin wailed dramatically.
“What’s wrong with him?” you rolled your eyes as Aiden came in. 
“He lost his teddy bear.” 
“He what?” you chuckled in disbelief.
“Hyunjin’s teddy, he always takes it with him. He’s had it since he was a baby and he’s convinced it brings him luck.” Aiden shrugged and Hyunjin ran into the living area.
“We are doomed!” he said, grabbing your arms and shaking you. 
“Calm down, it must be around here somewhere.” you sighed.
“Help me look?” Hyunjin batted his eyelashes at you as Aiden slipped away.
“Hyunjin, I’m tired, I need to get some sleep.” you whined. 
“Me too! But I can’t sleep without my teddy.” he said, you couldn’t believe he was serious. “I will crawl up to your bunk and annoy you all night if you don’t help me look.” he added, smirking.
“Fine, I’ll help you.” you rolled your eyes.
“Wow, you don’t want me in your bed at all?” he kept smirking. 
“Zip it. Let’s find your precious teddy.”
“Yes!” Hyunjin scurried after you as the two of you basically did a search and rescue mission for his favorite plush. 
Eventually, you walked into the other bathroom, finding the old teddy sitting on the counter.
“There you are.” you picked up, chuckling at the state of it. 
You couldn’t help it as you sniffed the teddy and sure enough it smelled just like its owner. 
“Found it!” you yelled and Hyunjin bursted in, panting and smiling. 
“Oh my god!” he exclaimed, grabbing the teddy and then you as he enveloped you in a hug for the second time that night. 
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Hyunjin held you tightly and you chuckled. 
“Alright, you’re thankful, I get it. You can let go now.” you said, patting his back. 
“I owe you.” he muttered.
“I really didn’t do anything.” 
“You did, trust me.” he smiled. 
As you laid in your bunk bed that night, you couldn’t stop thinking about Hyunjin. 
He seemed somehow different or you were just now seeing different sides of him that you didn’t see before. 
You didn’t hate him completely. 
-
Ten days on tour and things were going great. 
Every show was better than the last one, every venue bigger than the last one, every note played made Lycoris Radiata mean more and more to you. 
Tonight was no exception as you ripped the stage once again, this time Hyunjin ended up lifting Aiden and spinning him at the end which almost made the poor man throw up from excitement. 
“This was Lycoris Radiata, see you next time!” and with that you ran backstage where Hyunjin had to hug everyone, even asking for a group hug. 
You had to humor him. 
When your head finally hit the pillow, you couldn’t sleep even though you were exhausted. 
You kept replaying one particular moment from the show in your head. 
It was while Hyunjin was singing his famous sex song, before the moaning part, he came up to you and sang while looking at you. 
You kept playing and looking at him intently as he sang the lewd lyrics right into your face. 
Before he took off, Hyunjin lifted his hand, making a V shape with his fingers, doing the licking motion between them, his tongue piercing shining in the big stage light. 
Your mouth fell agape for a moment as you felt hotness spread all over your body and he smirked smugly when you made a tiny mistake in your playing. 
People didn’t notice but he did. 
And he was satisfied with it. 
You couldn’t stop thinking about it, and it had been a while since you’ve had a little ‘you time’ but it was hard to do that with so many people in the bus. 
Your eyes fluttered closed and you sighed, hearing some shuffling beneath you. 
“Y/n?” Hyunjin suddenly climbed up into your bed, startling you as you sat up and turned on the little light inside. 
“W-what are you doing?” 
“I can’t sleep. And I figured you weren’t sleeping either.” Hyunjin whispered.
“And how did you figure that?” you clutched your blanket. 
“You sighed like a hundred times.” he chuckled quietly.
“What do you want?” you rolled your eyes with a smile. 
“To hang out.” he pulled out a deck of cards out of nowhere. 
“We can’t make too much noise, we’ll wake everyone up.” you shook your head. 
“Fine then we’ll do something quiet.” Hyunjin smirked, tossing the cards aside and laying down next to you, his eyes closing.
“Turn the light off, sweetheart.” he cracked one eye open as you stared at him in disbelief. 
“You are not sleeping in my bunk. Go back downstairs.” you whispered.
“No.” he answered simply. 
“Hyunjin, I’m warning you, I will push you down.”
“Will you? You’ll wake up the whole bus.” he smirked. 
“God, you’re so annoying!” you whisper-yelled, giving up as you laid down, turning away from Hyunjin. 
“Be nice and share your blanket.” Hyunjin’s breath hit the back of your neck, making you shiver as goosebumps rose on your skin. 
“Need anything else?” you muttered as he hogged your blanket and your personal space. 
“A goodnight kiss?” Hyunjin leaned over you, peering at your face hopefully.
You gave him the side eye and he chuckled. 
“Maybe some other time, hm?” he asked. 
“Go to sleep.” you said and he laid down behind you. 
“Goodnight, darling.” Hyunjin wanted to reach out and touch your hair but he figured you’d probably break his arm. 
You didn’t answer, your heart beating so hard that you were afraid it was shaking the bed and Hyunjin could feel it. 
You quickly turned off the light and tried to calm down.
There was enough space to where he wasn’t touching you but you felt his warmth, his scent, his breath on your skin.
It was driving you crazy and making you feel calm at the same time. 
You managed to fall asleep somehow.
-
At some point, in the middle of the night, Hyunjin and you gravitated closer to each other and you ended up in his arms. 
When you slowly blinked your eyes open and realized you were staring straight at Hyunjin’s chest, you jolted away from him, making him groan quietly. 
“Where you goin’?” he mumbled into your pillow, trying to grab you.
“As far as I can from you.” you said, wiggling out of his arm that eventually caught you as he groaned again.
“Something’s poking my ass.” Hyunjin gasped when he rolled over and you laughed. 
“It’s the cards, you idiot.” rolling your eyes, you left the bunk feeling embarrassed and insane as your face heated up. 
What are you doing, sleeping in the same bed as Hyunjin?
You hate him, right?
You weren’t so sure anymore. 
Yes, he was annoying but somehow that became kind of endearing. 
He has bugged you every single day since the tour started and if he suddenly stopped, it’d feel weird. 
You sighed, shaking off your thoughts as you grabbed your phone, munching on your breakfast. 
“Morning, y/n. Tell me am I crazy or did Hyunjin sleep over in your bunk?” Ana smirked at you as she brought two coffees. 
“You are crazy. But yes, he slept in my bunk.” you said. 
“Interesting.” she smirked, lifting one eyebrow up. 
“Hey, I saw you sleeping in Anthony’s bunk multiple times. What’s that about?” you teased as you opened up your insta. 
“Well, everyone knows we have a thing for each other. You and Hyunjin though… oh yeah, you have a thing too.” 
“We don’t have a thing.” you quickly said as Ana chuckled. 
“Right. Mhm.” 
You continued scrolling, and that’s when you noticed it; the hate comments on your posts. 
‘She’s just a slut who’s after Hyunjin’
‘She’s delusional if she thinks he’d like her like she’s ugly lmao’
‘Untalented bitch’
‘Get her away from my Hyunjin’
‘She deserved her band falling apart they were shit anyways’
‘Y/n should retire from the music scene’
Your eyes started stinging with tears as you skimmed through the comment section. 
“What’s wrong?” Ana tilted her head to look at you. 
You slid your phone to her and she gasped. 
“You know these people are probably some jealous, unsuccessful suckers.” she said. 
“I need some air.” you sucked in a breath before hurriedly leaving the bus. 
“What’s with her?” Hyunjin walked in. “Is she mad at me?”
“No, look.” Ana showed him your phone. 
Hyunjin frowned instantly, running out of the bus after you. 
You stood not too far away with a cigarette in your hand as you hugged yourself with your other arm and Hyunjin’s eyes softened when he saw you shivering in the wind.
“I knew you’d forget to bring a jacket.” Hyunjin put his leather jacket around you, smoothing his hand over your back a few times. 
You exhaled a puff of smoke, not answering him as you melted into his big jacket. 
Hyunjin took out a cigarette for himself and you reached out with your lighter, lighting it up as he smirked. 
“Since when do you smoke?” he asked.
“Well, I’m feeling extra stressed right now so I needed something to take the edge off.” you shrugged. 
“Because of the comments?” 
“I don’t wanna talk about them.” 
“I’m sorry.” Hyunjin sighed. 
“It’s not your fault.” you said. 
“I feel like it is.” 
Hyunjin was standing so close to you that his arm was touching yours while both of you continued smoking.
You stood silently next to each other for a few more moments as the clouds passed you by, and slowly but surely Hyunjin closed the gap between your hands as he  touched yours briefly before he wrapped his pinky around yours. 
“Hey, you know I’m honored you’re part of my band.” his tone was serious and you couldn’t bear to look at him or you’d burst into tears. 
“I know.” you smiled as you kept looking into the distance. 
He smiled too, his eyes focused on you.
Hyunjin had your back; and that was a pinky promise.
-
Finally, you arrived to your next destination, and you’d be there for a few days which meant you had to check into a hotel. 
You were glad to have some time to yourself, you needed a real shower and a real bed and just some time to get away from everything, recharge your batteries. 
You just finished with your shower and skincare when your phone annoyed you, buzzing with texts constantly. 
When you grabbed it you realized that you forgot to change Hyunjin’s name from ‘asshole’. 
You laughed to yourself, deciding to just add a little heart at the end. 
asshole<3: y/n what are you doing
asshole<3: why aren’t you answering
asshole<3: i’m BOREEEED
asshole<3: y/n!!!! 
asshole<3: princess?
asshole<3: i’m coming to your room
“Shit!” you exclaimed just in time when Hyunjin knocked on your door.
“Go away, Hyunjin!” you yelled on the other side. 
“Never! I will wake the whole damn floor if you don’t open this door.” he banged against it. 
“Spoiled brat.” you muttered to yourself before opening the door. 
“Oh.” Hyunjin looked you up and down, your hair still wet from the shower, your little nightgown accentuating all your goodies. 
“Did you dress up for me?” he smirked as his tongue darted out to play with his lip piercing; a habit you picked up on.
“Oh yeah, I was just waiting for you to come knocking on my door.” you answered sarcastically.
“Oh come on, I brought snacks.” he lifted up a few bags. 
“You should’ve said that first.” you stepped aside, letting him in. 
“So, are you here just because you’re bored?” you scoffed as he practically skipped to your bed before throwing himself on it. 
“No, I’m here cause I know you miss me.” he smirked at you. “I spared you the walk to my room, princess.” 
“Oh yeah, I am the one who missed you.” you said pointedly. 
“I know you are.” he wiggled his eyebrows and you groaned, throwing a pillow at him but the slick bastard caught it. 
“I’m gonna change into something else.” you said, feeling a bit self-conscious. 
“Into what? After that outfit, the only logical thing is to have nothing on.”
“Wouldn’t you like that?” you snickered. 
“I would.” he smirked. 
“Changing right now!” you left for the bathroom to put on some actual pjs. 
“Don’t cross this line, Hyunjin.” you pointed as the two of you settled in your bed, ready to watch a movie and snack. 
He smiled his shit eating grin and put his finger over the line. 
“Whoops, crossed it.”
“Next time you lose a finger.” you threatened.
“Where is it gonna be misplaced?” he smirked. 
“Not where you think.”
“You don’t know what I’m thinking.” he leaned closer to you. “But I can show you.”
“No thanks. Just watch the movie.” 
It was quiet for some time until Hyunjin spoke up. 
“I’m thinking of getting another tattoo.”
“Oh?” you didn’t take your eyes off the screen. “Where?”
“My back. I wanna finish what I started with my arm and shoulder.” he answered. 
“Which is?” you looked at him and he smirked. 
“Glad you asked.” he said, taking his shirt off. 
“Woah, woah, what are you doing?” you jolted as he tossed it aside. 
“Showing you my tattoos.” he giggled. “See, it’s one big picture. I sketched the original on my paper, it’s a flower’s life story. From a little seed all the way to the dust it becomes after it wilts forever. It’s not finished yet though.” he turned and you gulped. 
“That’s a beautiful thought actually.” 
“Feel the flowers.” Hyunjin turned his shoulder to you. 
“I’m not gonna touch your tattoos.” you said. 
“Come on, you know you want to.” he taunted you. 
“No, I don’t.” you shook your head. 
“Yes, you do. You started ogling me as soon as I took my shirt off.”
“That’s because of your musc- nothing, nevermind.” you quickly caught yourself, biting your tongue as your face started burning. 
“Because of what? My muscles? You like them?” he started flexing immediately.
“That’s disgusting, stop acting like that.” you slapped his arm without thinking and you both froze. 
“Oh.” Hyunjin smirked before taking your hand in his. “Really, I want you to feel my tattoos.” 
“Fine if it gets you to shut up.” 
Your fingers gently traced the delicate art on Hyunjin’s skin, starting from his wrist up his arm as you watched goosebumps rise on his skin. 
You took your time to trace every leaf and petal as Hyunjin looked at you intently, his breaths coming out shaky as you traced over his arm, your fingers swirling with the intricate patterns. 
Your hand came up to his shoulder as you continued tracing, his skin was so smooth and he was so warm under your touch. 
“Y/n.” Hyunjin whispered, his hand covering yours as he leaned in closer to you, his eyelids hooded. 
Your eyes widened when you realized he was about to kiss you and you quickly moved away. 
“What the hell are you doing?!” you stood up and Hyunjin frowned at you. 
“What does it look like I’m doing?!” 
“Trying to get into my pants!” you scoffed. “I think you should sleep in your room.”
“B-but, it’s not like that!” Hyunjin stood up and you backed away.
“I know what it’s like. Please leave.” 
“Fine.” Hyunjin looked dejected as he grabbed his phone and shirt. “Teddy is lonely without me anyways.” he said, making a theatrical leave out of your room as he dragged his feet and kept giving you pointed looks. 
You were almost close to telling him he can stay, but as soon as he leaned in, you panicked and didn’t know how to react so you kept your mouth shut.
And you continued spiralling when he left, thinking about if he actually likes you or just wants to fuck you like he does to any girl. 
You’ve seen him with girls on his arms constantly and while you always thought what you felt was hate or disgust; in this moment you recognized it was jealousy and it didn’t feel good at all.
taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @hwanghyunjinismybae @jehhskz @porangporangmeong @laylasbunbunny @laughatdanger @jeonginslefthand @sapphirewaves @s3ungm1nxxl0ve @painterhyunjin @starlost-mochi-x @saintcosette @ooshyana @frehyun @scarlet789 @skzdust @simpforleeknaur @schniti-is-in-the-house
part 2
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straylightdream · 3 days ago
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never leave this bed
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𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: husband!jeon wonwoo x curvy!f.reader
once your husband returns from a long trip you want nothing more then to stay in bed together.
𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞(𝐬): romance, established relationship
𝐚𝐮(𝐬): non idol
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.6k
𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: very fluffy, they’re both super in love with each other, mentions of past body insecurities, wonwoo is obsessed with his wives curvy body, mentions of have having children in the future, smut warning below the cut.
𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: explicit, smut, 18+
𝐚𝐧: this is a part of my series I’m going to writing with the SVT boys as husbands called ‘my only one’.
𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬.
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𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: big dick wonwoo, soft dom wonwoo, needy mc, pussy stretching, unprotected sex (mc is on birth control), breeding kink, mention of impregnating the reader, wonwoo is obsessed with his wife’s thick thighs, body worship, size kink, dirty talk, overstimulation, nipple play, fingering, cockwarming, alluding to shower sex
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Rolling over you cuddled into your husband chests. Your face nuzzled into the crook of his neck. He couldn’t help the smile that formed on his lips as you wrapped your arm around his strong chest. You’re both completely naked from the long night you spent together.
You had been married for two years and neither of you had ever been happier in your lives. You had met because you were friends with Mingyu and he had introduced them to each other. Mingyu had told Wonwoo he found his future wife from him, and to this day Mingyu tells everyone you got married because of him.
Wonwoo was home from a two week long work trip. You had decided to spend the day in bed just enjoying each other.
Slowly you pressed your lips to his neck, and put your leg over his stomach. You were basically laying on top of him, but he didn’t care. He always told you he loved when you laid on him. According to him you weigh nothing. Your soft stomach and thick thighs strongly disagree with him. Anytime you even got slightly insecure about your body your husband would immediately let you know how attracted to you he is.
Gripping your thigh he held her close. His fingers gently kneading your flesh. This man has always had a fascination with your thighs. “We’re not getting out of bed today,” he said as you pressed your lips to his neck again. Leaving a trail of open mouth kisses. You wonder if he'll mind you leaving a mark.
“Nope I’m staying right here,” you murmured against his neck.
Slowly he ran his hand up and down your thigh holding you close. He couldn’t get enough of his wife. He hated going on work trips and being away from you. But you made coming home truly worth it. Even if it was just spending the day in bed cuddling. If you had your way your husband would have been naked the moment he walked in the door.
He got in at eleven at night and the moment the front door was locked you practically jumped him. You didn’t even let him take you to bed. A sea of clothes littered the living room as you sat naked on your husband’s lap. His huge cock snug inside you as you kissed anywhere your lips could reach.
Once he finally got you in bed he told you he desperately wanted to just hold you. Who were you to say no to his request?
“I love you so much,” he smiled.
“I love you too,” you said, moving so you could look at him.
Looking toward his wife he smiled and leaned down and pressed his lips to yours for a gentle kiss. “You’re perfect,” he said, resting his nose against yours. His loving words caused you to smile. Finding Wonwoo was the best thing that had ever happened to you. The love he had for you was like something you could only dream of.
“What if we just never left this bed?” You asked, leaning back onto the bed away from Wonwoo.
“I would never leave this bed if I didn’t have to work,” he rolled onto his side and propped his head up on his hand and looked over at you as you stared up at the ceiling.
“It's a shame you can’t just work from home everyday. I need my husband to stay in bed with me forever,” you smiled. In a dream world he wouldn’t have to travel so much for work.
You knew when you got together there were going to be times he had to leave for long work trips. You knew about the details of his job from the moment Mingyu introduced you. He might be gone often, but you knew no matter what he was always gonna come back to you after his trips.
“You look so beautiful in the morning,” he said, causing your cheeks to flush.
“You are literally the perfect man,” you rolled onto her side so you were staring at each other.
“I want to be the perfect man for you. Now come back over here and lay on me again,” he rolled on to his back again. He never missed a chance to feel your body weight on him.
A soft laugh passed your lips as you moved over and cuddled back into your husband. You rested on his chest and your arm was resting across his stomach.
“We’re not leaving this bed today,” you sighed with a little smile.
“I’m only getting out of bed to take you in the shower, and to possibly eat.” Of course this man is already thinking about shower sex. That might be his favorite to take you other than your bed. Lifting your thigh you put more weight back on his stomach. “Baby I know I said I want to cuddle, but I want to be inside you so badly.”
His words earn a laugh from you. “How do you plan on making that happen? I thought you wanted to cuddle?”
“Lay on your back for me baby.”
Listening to his request you lay on your back and spread your legs without him having to ask. Laying on his side pressed up against your side, his fingers dip between your legs. His index finger plays with your clit while he rubs his growing erection against your thigh.
“You feel so good,” he groans against your skin. You can’t even respond, you just moan as he starts pumping two fingers in your already wet hole. “I need to stretch you out, little baby. I’m not going to fit if I don’t prep you.” In the beginning of your relationship that statement wouldn’t be wrong. Wonwoo has the biggest dick you’ve ever taken before. When you first started dating you couldn’t jump into having sex without him giving you some foreplay. Now four years into your relationship you’ve grown accustomed to the stretch of him filling you for the first few thrust.
“I don’t need prep. You fucked me like two hours ago,” you moan.
“Someone is needy,” he laughs. The hill of his palm continues to rub against your sensitive clit. Hooking his fingers he rubs the spot inside of you that has you seeing stars. “Just come one my hand once and I’ll fuck you nice and slow from behind.” Wonwoo never misses an opportunity to take you from behind. “All you have to do is cum once.” He whispers.
Closing your eyes, rolling your head back, your whole body feels like it’s tightening as you get closer to the edge.
Gasping his name you fall apart on his hand. Your walls contract around his fingers. His hands continue to thrust in and out of you slowly helping you ride out your high.
“Lay on your side baby.” Following his request you lay on your side facing away from him. He pushes your knee up giving him access to your wet core. His large hand kneads the flesh off your ass pressing himself against you.
“Please don’t tease me.” You just want your husband to fuck you already.
“So needy,” he’s running his hardened length through your folds. “Are you stretched out enough for me?”
“Please fuck me,” you moan. Each time his length brushes your clit you see stars.
Taking himself in his hand he slowly pushes into you. He fills you completely. His pelvis is pressed up firmly against your ass. His hand gropes your breast as he moans in your ear. He gives you a moment to adjust to his size.
Rolling your head back you can’t help but moan. His pace is slow. A trail of love bites are being left against your bare shoulder.
“Harder,” you whisper. You want the slow pace but just harder. He listens to you without another word. Rolling his hips into you over and over again. The roam is filled with echoing sounds of whimpers and moans.
“Won-“ you can’t even properly form his name.
“Do you want me to fill you up?” His hand moves from your breast down to your pussy. His fingers toy with your clit earning a moan.
“Please.”
“Do you want me to put a baby in you?” This has been one of your husband’s favorite things to bring up in bed now. You are ready to have a baby with him. His new breeding kink has definitely worn off on you.
“I’m going to cu-“ your body feels like a live water as your orgasm washes over you. “Wonwoo-“ your hand grips his hand that’s playing with your clit. Overstimulation kicks in as he keeps thrusting into you over and over as your high continues.
“I’m going to fill you up,” he groans.
He continues his slow but firm pace. Your hand clings to his hand. Your eyes roll back in your head as another orgasm hits you like a ton of bricks. “Wonwoo-“
The way he moans your name as he cums, painting your walls white is absolutely intoxicating. His hands dig into your hips holding your flush against him.
“We might need to get out of bed to shower,” you say, earning a soft laugh from him.
“God I love you.” He kisses your shoulder gently.
“I love you too.”
He’s still inside you and the way he is holding you you don’t think he plans on pulling out. You have no problem staying in bed cockwarming your husband for a while.
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osarina · 2 days ago
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ᡣ𐭩 WERE WE BETTER UNKNOWN?
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FEATURING: dazai osamu
SUMMARY: your story with dazai comes to a close... but is it really the end?
AUTHOR'S NOTES: guys. oh my god i have so much to say, i will put it all at the end. but i am so annoyed because the heart in the title looks wonky as hell—for some reason it looks fine on desktop but on mobile it’s fucked ip :’) comments & reblogs appreciated!
GENERAL WARNINGS: fem!reader, port mafia executive!reader, civilian!dazai, dazai's struggles w suicide & sh, reader partakes in mafia business, dazai isn't dazai without a bit of obsessiveness and possessiveness (the possessiveness doesn't come til later but the obsessiveness starts from day 0).
CHAPTER SPECIFIC WARNINGS: hardly edited. mentions of past suicide attempts (dazai). non-sexual nudity/intimacy. reader has 1 scar that dazai points out.
SEE: WASTELAND, BABY! SERIES MASTERLIST
Dazai dreams of a vast frozen lake.
Is he dreaming? He’s not sure. It’s cold, he shouldn’t be cold in dreams, right? 
He lets out a shaky breath, and he can see the cool air fan around him. He shivers, hands running up and down his arms to try to warm himself up, but it’s futile—the snow that flutters from the sky is sharp against his skin and the air is bitterly cold, but the wind is oddly still. Eerily still. His shoes crunch against the snowy bank as he draws a bit closer to the edge of the lake, trying to figure out where he is.
“... are we going to…”
Dazai startles at the vaguely familiar whispery voice, eyes wide and searching as he looks around trying to pinpoint who had spoken, but there’s no one in sight. He can hardly see
Hell, he thinks dizzily, is he in hell?
Dazai’s fascination with literature began with his fascination with death. It started as a child—morbid and odd as it might’ve been, he was bored with life. He supposes that it’s part of the reason why his siblings didn’t like him, besides his ability, of course. He always had questions that people couldn’t answer—what happens after someone dies? They go to heaven, honey, his mother would reply. How do you know that? We just do. But how? What if we don’t? What if we just die? Stop asking so many creepy questions, Osamu, his sister would snap at him, curling into his mother’s side. But what-
He would keep asking until his sister got visibly upset and his mother had to take her out of the room. He never really understood why—they were legitimate questions—but his mother’s evasion of the topic and his siblings’ aversion did not deter his curiosity. In fact, when the first of his cousins died at the hands of one of his others, it spiked his curiosity. He almost found himself jealous that they would have the answers to the questions that have been plaguing him for years.
His questions of self-worth and his place here on earth didn’t come until he was a bit older, but he supposes at some point they probably merged together. His own doubts about himself and his lack of normalcy compared to other people led to his general fascination with death slowly turning into fascination about his own death. He found it quite ironic, and maybe a bit disheartening—he can’t even die correctly—that of all of the many members of his family, the one obsessed with death was the one that survived the longest, in spite of actively striving for eternal rest.
His fascination with death was put to an abrupt halt by Odasaku’s arrival in his life. Or well, that’s not exactly right. His fascination with his own death was put to a halt—Odasaku humored all of his questions, even if some of his answers were absurd and nonsensical, but when Dazai tried to spin the conversation back to himself, Odasaku would put his foot down. 
Dazai only tried to kill himself once while he was living with him—it was around when Odasaku first took him in, and Dazai didn’t think the man would care all too much if he was gone. Ango was the one who found him in the bathroom, funny enough it was his first time meeting the other man, but when he woke up in the hospital, Dazai decided he never wanted to see that haunted expression on Odasaku’s face ever again. 
It was around then when Odasaku started telling him about his book, and he helped redirect Dazai’s unhealthy fascination with death to a different outlet: literature. The Divine Comedy, the Aeneid, the tale of Orpheus and Eurydice—it was Odasaku who introduced him to them all. He enjoyed reading other peoples’ interpretation of the afterlife; he and Odasaku would have full blown debates over which interpretation was nearest to truth. 
Dazai isn’t particularly convinced there is an afterlife at all, but he always thought that if there was one, it might look most like Dante Alighieri’s vision. 
Like this. 
“... can’t just stop, he’ll never let it be…”
This voice isn’t unfamiliar. Dazai’s head snaps up, eyes wide and searching as he tries to seek you out. Your voice sounds like it’s coming from all around him—the wind carries it, he can’t tell where you are and the icy air makes it hard for him to keep his eyes open to try to track you down. The wind is strange though; it stops blowing all around him, and instead begins billowing inward toward the center of the lake.
A foreboding feeling suddenly settles over Dazai.
Lake Cocytus—if this is what Dazai thinks it is, then it’s meant to represent the Ninth Circle. Treachery. A little ironic, maybe, considering loyalty is what got Dazai killed—your loyalty to the Port Mafia. 
Is he dead? He realizes suddenly that he very well might be, not quite as pleased with the idea as he might’ve been in the months before he met you. He feels… unfulfilled almost. He never finished Odasaku’s book. He didn’t even manage to get his degree. He felt what it was like to be loved for a few months, but it wasn’t enough. He’d wanted more. He wanted a life with you. 
He still wants a life with you, he thinks miserably. Even after everything that happened, he still wants it.
He must not be dead, he thinks absently, kicking at the snow on the banks of the lake before slowly treading out toward the center of it. If he was dead and really in the Ninth Circle of Hell, then he’d be stuck in the lake with the rest of the betrayers. Although, Dazai thinks if he really was going to hell, it wouldn’t be this circle—he doesn’t think he’s ever really betrayed anyone to this degree.
Or maybe he did, his thoughts take another dejected turn. Would his ‘betrayal’ to you count? It’s not like he actively tried to deceive you, so he thinks he should be given some leeway. But maybe it wouldn’t be too bad, if he’s here because he deceived you, then you would certainly be here for betraying him—he wouldn’t mind being stuck in hell if you were there with him. You both could be buried in the ice together, eternally frozen and suffering for betraying each other. 
It’s kind of romantic, if you really think about it.
Something bubbles in his chest—maybe a laugh, or maybe a sob, he can’t tell, he thinks maybe he’s a bit hysterical. 
It must just be a dream, he thinks again for some minimal solace. Or maybe a warning, maybe he’s somewhere caught in-between and God is striking down his hammer, warning him this is where he’s going to end up if he doesn’t change his ways like the message of the Divine Comedy itself.
The thought makes him laugh.
He sobers up quickly though as he starts his trek across the lake, thinking that maybe if he got to the other side, or the center, he’d wake up. He thinks you would find this funny—one of your first conversations with him had been about The Divine Comedy, and he spent many nights at dinner roping you into conversation about it, and convincing you to read some of the other books and poems that Odasaku had introduced him to. You-
“... one life or hundreds, that’s what he said…”
Dazai nearly slips on the ice when he hears your voice again, looking around as if you would just magically appear around him. You don’t, but it does leave Dazai a little disheartened hearing you repeat the words that Mori had said to convince you to kill him. He sighs as he keeps his gaze trained ahead, careful to not look down at the ice lest he find himself looking at something he would rather not.
The outskirts of the water were the traitors to kin—Dazai remembers that well. The first time he read the poem, he realized that this is where the majority of his cousins and older brothers would be. They spent almost two years killing each other for their grandfather’s inheritance; Dazai went from having seven siblings and almost two dozen cousins to three siblings and a handful of cousins by the time of the coup.
Traitors to country in the next section—Dazai thinks a bit gleefully that Mori would end up there. The Port Mafia isn’t exactly a city or country, but it’s still an entity, and Mori certainly betrayed it when he killed Dazai’s grandfather in his own bed, no matter what the reason for it might be.
Traitors to guests in the next section—this gives Dazai a bit of pause, he doesn’t know if he knows anyone that would fit in that section. Ui, maybe? Inviting him to work with his journalism house only to give him up to the Guild. Maybe Mori again, Dazai thinks, highly amused, because Dazai was a guest to you, and therefore, the Port Mafia, when everything happened. 
And the last section—traitors to benefactors. He can’t avoid looking at them; they’re the only ones above the surface of the lake, grotesque sculptures of ice that decorate the surface of the center of the lake. His steps slow as he walks through them all, a heavy feeling settling over him as his gaze focuses on the oddly familiar sculpture in the very center of the lake.
Is that-
“There’s only one way this ends.”
Dazai’s breath catches sharply. He slips on the ice as he rushes forward, eyes widening and hands flying forward to catch himself, but his stomach lurches painfully and before his hands can hit the ground-
Dazai sits up with a ragged gasp, eyes wild and nails digging into the fabric of the soft couch he’s laying on. His head is aching and he feels sluggish; he’s still reeling from what he’d just woken up from, but his heart rate is starting to calm down.
Just a dream, he confirms, but now he’s more preoccupied with trying to figure out where the hell he is and why he isn’t dead, because the last thing he remembers is you lifting a gun to his head and pulling the trigger. The room he’s in is small—there’s no windows, there’s a tiny kitchen on the left side of the room, and on the other side-
“Everyone out.”
Dazai’s gaze settles on you. You’re standing near the far wall—you haven’t changed from what you were wearing at the conference room with the other Port Mafia executives, and Dazai can see Ace’s blood still crusted around your finger nails and splattered on your shirt. Your gaze is focused on him, an unreadable expression on your face, and Dazai is so tunnel visioned on you that he hardly notices that there are a handful of other people in the room: your three subordinates, Nakahara Chuuya, Albatross and one other who had been at the fight against the Guild.
They don’t argue with you, most of them file out of the room without a word, only Albatross and Chuuya linger. The ginger gives you a long look before saying, “We’ll buy some more time. Just… figure out if this is really what you want to do, okay?”
You finally look away from him at Chuuya’s words, cringing and averting your gaze to the ground. You say quietly, “It doesn’t matter what I want. It has to be done.”
Chuuya sighs but nods, motioning for Albatross to leave with him—and then the two of you are left alone. You don’t approach him. Ironically, you look like the one akin to a cornered animal as if you hadn’t been the one to shoot him. If anyone should feel like a cornered animal right now, it should be him.
Instinctively, he lifts his hand to his forehead, frowning at the bandages wrapped around the top of his head. He looks back up at you curiously, but you grimaced and looked away as soon as he touched his forehead, so he can’t catch your eye.
He has a million questions he wants to ask. What happened? Why didn’t the bullet kill me? Why didn’t you kill me? Did you believe me? Do you believe me? Are we okay?
Dazai doesn’t know if he wants to know the answer to the last question, so he settles with: “Where are we?” 
Though you’d stiffened as soon as his lips parted to speak, you relax when you hear the question he asked.
“A safe house in Sakae,” you say quietly. Dazai starts to sit up but his vision swims so he has to stop and rest back down against the arm of the couch, blinking furiously. “You should take it easy… You’re probably going to feel a bit off for a couple of hours.”
Dazai is about to ask you what exactly happened, but the words die on his lips when you finally draw closer to him. You sit down on the couch next to where he’s laying, your body brushes his and Dazai feels warm. The remnants of the frigid cold of his dream vanishes as soon as the warmth of your body grazes his—he knows that there are many things that need to be addressed, but he would be content to avoid those topics and bask in your comfort for as long as he can. 
His eyes slide shut as you reach up to cup his cheek. He doesn’t even bother reopening them when he feels you lift your other hand to remove the bandages from around the top of his head—he thinks maybe he could almost doze back off. It’s only when you let out a soft sigh and fasten them back on does he finally bother to open his eyes again. 
“I don’t have enough bandages on me already?” he asks, his voice is light and the smile on his lips is teasing as he tries to lighten the mood a little, but it doesn’t work.
You don’t respond to his comment. You look down, and the small smile on your lips doesn’t meet your eyes, so his falls off his face as he stares up at you carefully and finally asks the much dreaded question that would lead to even more dreaded questions:
“Will you tell me what happened?”
--
“We need to go,” Chuuya says, hand wrapped around your wrist tightly. You don’t budge from where you’re standing, staring at where Dazai had fallen back over the edge. It was a short drop with mud softening the fall, he would be okay—if everything went according to plan, that is. Otherwise, the bullet you just shot at him killed him anyway, so the fall is inconsequential. “Come on. We can’t stay here. We have to go.”
“How do-”
“Not here,” Chuuya hisses. “Come on.”
“Chuuya-” you breathe out, voice wavering over his name. You can’t bring yourself to move even as Chuuya tries to drag you away. “Chuuya, I need to kn-”
Need to know if this worked. Need to know if he was able to stop the bullet. Need to know if you actually just killed the boy you’re in love with.
“Not here,” Chuuya replies, voice harsh, cutting you off before you can say anything more incriminating. 
This time, he doesn’t wait for you to follow him—he yanks you along with him, not even bothering to steady you when you stumble. You know you should snap yourself out of this, you know Mori has people trailing you to ensure you follow through with Dazai’s execution, but you’re haunted by the expression on his face when you pulled the trigger.
He accepted it.
You had the gun to his head. You asked him to forgive you. He said he did, and he accepted that he was about to die at your hands. A part of you is eager to convince yourself that maybe he saw through your plan, that he realized you weren’t going to kill him, but that look in his eyes…
He didn’t know, and he accepted it anyway.
Your stomach churns. The ragged breath you take in cuts off abruptly as you gag over it—you saw the blood, you don’t know if Chuuya was able to stop it. You don’t know if Dazai’s nullification ability prevented Chuuya from using his own ability to slow the bullet before it killed him. You don’t know if he fell backward because he was shot or because the high dosage sedative that you swiped from Mori’s office set in as quickly as it was supposed to. You don’t even know if Chuuya had been able to inject it in him with his ability. You don’t know anything.
“Don’t you dare throw up on me,” Chuuya mutters as he opens the car door and ushers you inside. 
Instead of sitting in the front with Albatross, he sits in the back with you, sharing a sharp look with Albatross before the other man finally pulls away from the ports. He still doesn’t say anything else—he knows better. This is one of the Port Mafia’s cars, tapped and actively being transmitted to one of Kouyou’s subordinates who will report to her and Mori anything that seems off, and you need to buy as much time as you possibly can before Mori realizes Dazai isn’t dead.
Because Dazai isn’t dead. He can’t be dead.
It worked. It all worked.
It had to have. 
Just as you expect, your phone rings as soon as the car starts moving. Mori has eyes on you—he was waiting for you to finish with the execution before calling. You’re certain that he’s going to send someone to check the body now; he doesn’t trust you to finish the job, not when something as fickle and unpredictable as love is involved. 
Klaus will have to be quick—you don’t even know if he was able to find a lookalike to kill so he could swap out the body. You only were able to give him a twenty, maybe thirty, minute heads up. Dazai is plain looking, yes, and the mud he dropped in should do some work at concealing his identity, but if Mori’s shadow sends him a picture to confirm the kill, the slim amount of time you hope to have bought with your fake out will be halved.
You stare down at the phone and let it ring once, twice, and finally on the third ring, you lift the phone to your ear and accept the call, waiting for Mori to speak.
“Has it been done?”
“Yes,” you reply, voice steady even if your fingers are trembling around the phone. “Do you need me back at headquarters?”
“No, I’m sure that wasn’t easy for you. You should get some rest. I have a meeting with Tolstoy in a bit anyway. I’ll meet with you tomorrow after I have tea with Elise-chan so you can debrief me on the meetings with the Guild,” Mori says easily, his tone is light and airy, and it makes you angry, because how dare he sound so flippant after what he just expected you to do. “... I’m sorry things had to end this way, dear. I’m proud of you. You did well.”
“I know,” you say tightly in response before hanging up and putting the phone back down in your lap. 
Chuuya watches you carefully, but he doesn’t say anything, and you stare ahead at the back of the driver’s seat. It’s a twenty-five minute drive from the ports in Naka to Sakae—for better or for worse, it’s going to be a quiet one. For better because you think you might start crying if you have to speak, and for worse because now all you’re plagued with is your own thoughts and the image of Dazai’s face before you shot him.
You didn’t shoot him. Not really.
But you did, you don’t know if Chuuya was able to stop it. You don’t even know if Chuuya knows if he was able to stop it. There was a splatter of blood. You saw that, and there shouldn’t have been blood if this worked, so the worst case scenario looms over you heavily. But you won’t know until you get to the safe house—until you hear from Klaus. Your breath hitches over a sob you’re forced to swallow; your chest burns and tightens uncomfortable.
You had to do it, this was the only option. Anything else and there was no shot he wouldn’t have been killed. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but he would be killed. You wouldn’t be able to protect him from Mori otherwise—he would’ve put a hit out on him, and Dazai would have all of the most dangerous assassins in the underworld out for him trying to get the bounty. You can’t protect him from that. You needed to buy time. You needed to buy time so you could-
You don’t finish the thought. 
You don’t think you’ve come to terms with what has to be done if you want to protect Dazai. A part of you doesn’t even know if you’ll be able to follow through with it, but you’ve already set yourself down the path of no return and you’ve dragged Chuuya down it along with you. Either you follow through, or the three of you are going to be on the run for the rest of your lives.
Shit.
Your gaze tracks back down to your phone. Still nothing from Klaus—nothing from Akutagawa either. The silence is too loud, each second that passes has you aching with a pain that feels like knives dragging against your bones. You just need to know, you need to know that he’s okay, that you didn’t-
You rest your forehead against the window when nausea builds back up in your stomach. It’s cool, and a welcome reprieve from the heaviness weighing down on you, but the moment your eyes slide shut, you’re faced with Dazai again and no amount of deep breathing and grounding techniques can stop the way your heart rate sky-rockets, breath becoming quick and shallow.
You see him. You see him, and he’s looking up at you, dark eyes wide and adoring as he looks at you like you’re the only thing in the world that matters to him, and his lips part to say something but before he can, you see something thick and red trickling down his face over his lips, and suddenly something is weighing cold and heavy in your hand but you can’t bring yourself to look down at it, but you can’t drag your eyes from his face. Can’t hide yourself from the way his warm eyes are suddenly wide and glassy, void of all of the emotions that you’d just-
Your arm hurts—sharp and painful and so sudden that you’re dragged from the images haunting you. Your gaze cuts over to Chuuya, who’s giving you a concerned look. You realize he must’ve shifted over a bit, brushed his arm against yours to use his ability to jolt you out of your spiraling thoughts. When he realizes that you’re back in the present, he gives you a pointed look and then directs his gaze outside.
You’re almost there. How much time had passed?
Why hasn’t Klaus or Akutagawa reached out to you?
What is going on?
Albatross doesn’t stop in front of the safe house—there are too many cameras in the street and all of the Port Mafia’s cars are tracked. Instead, he takes a left on the next street because it’s one of the few without a red light camera and a blind spot on the corner. His gaze flickers up to the rearview mirror and he pointedly raises the volume of his shitty music a few decibels louder to cover the noise of the car doors opening and closing as you and Chuuya slip out when he stops at the red light.
You leave your phone in the car and you’re careful to avoid the camera near the bakery on the corner as you follow Chuuya around to the alley that leads to the back entrance of the safe house. It’s not a Port Mafia safe house—it was Itou’s. This was where he stayed in the few months during the Dragon’s Head Conflict where he was on his own, after he left Strain but before you recruited him to the Port Mafia. It was well hidden and well protected, you hadn’t been able to track him down here until he brought you here—he made sure that it was a blind spot in the Port Mafia’s ever-watchful eye over Yokohama, and you made sure to keep it that way once he was gone. 
It’s only once the steel door is shut behind you that you can finally speak, gaze focusing on Chuuya desperately as you wait for him to tell you if he was able to do it or if Dazai’s ability…
“Did you hear from Klaus or Akutagawa?” he asks quietly, and that’s enough of an answer.
He doesn’t know. 
You feel sick—your stomach lurches and you don’t know if you start to stumble toward the bathroom or the couch or straight to the floor, but it doesn’t matter because Chuuya is darting forward to grab you and guide you over to the couch.
“Chuuya, if I-” you start to say, your words are raspy and you can’t even bring yourself to finish them. “If I-”
“Don’t,” he says, wrapping an arm around you. “Don’t bother going there yet. Wait for Klaus and Akutagawa.”
“But-”
“Stop,” he insists. “All you’re going to do is torture yourself.”
Isn’t that what you deserve? You want to say to him, nails digging into the palm of your hand so deep that it draws blood. Chuuya catches what you’re doing and immediately moves to unfurl your hands. Everything you’ve done. You killed Dazai’s family. His siblings. His cousins. You ruined his life, and then after everything, it wasn’t enough. You ruined his life and then you took-
“Hey, stop,” Chuuya interrupts your thoughts, clearly realizing what path they’re going down. You don’t realize your breath is ragged again until he grabs your chin and twists your head to force you to look at him. “I know what you’re thinking, but we can’t do this right now, we need to plan. We don’t have time, and when Klaus and Akutagawa get here with him, we need to know what we’re doing. You need to snap out of it.”
You don’t respond to him—your lashes flutter and you see Dazai again, you see blood, you see empty eyes, you see the gun in your hand, and you feel something warm and wet trickling over your cheeks. Chuuya spits out curses to himself and wipes away the tears streaming down your face. He’s gentle now, the rough grip on your chin disappears and is replaced with his hand cradling the back of your head as he pulls you closer to him. He presses your ear to his chest, hoping that the steady thrum of his heart is enough to ground you.
“Where the fuck are they?” he spits out more to himself than to you. His breath hitches and you can hear the stammering of his heart, and you know that he’s nervous, but he’s trying to hide it for your sake. “I need you here. What we just did-fuck-”
You try to snap out of it—you do, but every time you blink you see him. You see what you did. You knew this would happen from the very beginning, you knew it, and everyone warned you, but you’re selfish. You’ve always been so selfish.
You don’t know how much time passes. Ten minutes. Twenty. Thirty. It all blurs, it all feels like eternity, but eventually, the door to the safe house slams open, and only a handful of people know about it.
Your gaze snaps up, and you don’t realize you’re holding your breath until Klaus steps into the room with a familiar figure slung over his shoulder like a sack of flour. Both of them are covered in various substances that you think you would rather not know what they are, but you can see the steady rise and fall of Dazai’s back. You rise to your feet abruptly and Chuuya lets out a relieved breath, shoulders slumping.
Klaus immediately points an accusing finger at you. “I had to hunt down a civilian, kill him, crawl through shit and trash with a dead body to swap it out for your boy, I had to carry him across half of the city, and I couldn’t even channel Mephisto because he nullifies him. You better not complain about any messes I make for the next six months,” Klaus demands, and then points wildly back toward a very clean Akutagawa, who casts an unimpressed look his way. “And he didn’t even help me. He stood there and watched.”
“I was ensuring that no one saw what we were doing,” Akutagawa replies primly. “Even more important than your job, considering if someone saw it would all be for naught. You should be thanking me.”
Klaus’s face goes red with anger as he whips around to face him and roars, “More important? Thank you?!”
You laugh. It’s so startling that all of the anger washes away from Klaus’s face and the goading expression on Akutagawa’s disappears. Or you think you laugh—you think you might be crying again too. Both boys look aghast by the sight of it, looking at each other as if waiting for the other to do something to make you stop.
Eventually, Klaus steps forward and unsurely tries to pass Dazai’s unconscious body over to you as if to try to make you feel better by shoving him in your arms. Chuuya slaps him hard over the back of the head causing him to yelp.
“Put him on the couch, what the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you passing him over to her like he’s a fucking stuffed animal?” Chuuya snaps, giving him a plainly judgemental look before resting his hand on your shoulder. 
Klaus looks disgruntled, but he does as Chuuya asks, laying Dazai down on the couch where you and Chuuya had just been sitting. You drop to your knees next to him, and the room is oddly silent as you look down at him. You don’t feel their gazes on you, so you assume they’re giving you privacy as best they can.
He looks… peaceful. You could almost imagine that you were coming home to him napping on your couch after he spent the whole night playing some stupid video game in your living room. You try to imagine that’s what this is, but the bloody indent in his forehead prevents you.
It almost broke through his skull.
He almost died.
You almost killed him.
You feel a bit sick as your fingers trace up to the wound on his forehead. It’s still bleeding, but his forehead is clean compared to the grime that covers the rest of his body. Klaus and Akutagawa must’ve had the brain to stop and clean the wound before it could get infected—that’s probably what took them so long.
You feel someone come to your side, glancing up to see Akutagawa hovering next to you with bandages in hand. He passes them over to you silently before quickly walking away. You let out a soft breath as you unwind the bandages, gently lifting his head so you can wrap them around his forehead. Immediately, they’re staining red—you grimace and look away.
The silence hanging over the room only lasts so long.
“What’s next?” Klaus asks quietly. “This won’t work for long. What’s the plan?”
Your gaze lowers as you rest your hand against Dazai’s cheek, memorizing his face as best as you can. The heaviness in your chest returns, and along with it, the damning reminder of your reality.
“I have to kill Mori.”
--
Dazai suddenly understands his dream.
“It’s the only option,” you say quietly when Dazai’s expression immediately twists at your words. Your eyes look so heavy and your expression is so crestfallen that it makes Dazai ache. His fingers twitch to reach out for you but you shift away, shaking your head. “It’s the only option, Osamu. It has to be done.”
“But-”
“He tried to have me kill you,” you snap, and he almost rolls his eyes because he doesn’t need reminding of that. He’s abundantly aware of the fact that he almost died at your hands because of Mori. He refrains if only barely. “Why do you care about what happens to him?”
“He’s your father,” Dazai says, watching as you go stiff. He knows he might’ve just made a mistake saying that, but he doesn’t even know if you fully understand the gravity of all of this or if you’re just running off heightened emotions right now. “I don’t care about him, he can go fuck off and die for all I care. I care about you-“
“He’s not my father,” you spit out, voice tight, “and maybe you shouldn’t care about me.”
Oh, here it comes, Dazai thinks dreadfully. That was the opening you needed to bring up the subject Dazai desperately wanted to avoid. He has made a fatal mistake. He should’ve just nodded along and agreed to your plan.
“You’re right he’s not your father,” Dazai immediately agrees to appease you and try to avoid the imminent conversation. “I don’t know what I was thinking. Hey, do you have food here? I’m so hungry all of a sudden, wow, do you hear my stomach-” 
You sigh, looking away. Your eyes are suddenly very tired and Dazai’s words falter on his tongue as his gaze settles on you. His fingers twitch to reach out for your hand but you draw them back into your lap. Dazai’s gaze drops at the blatant rejection, but as soon as you notice, you reach back out to intertwine your fingers with his. He feels placated, but only a little, because he still has a tight feeling in his chest that he can’t push away. A looming fear that something is going to go terribly wrong.
“Can we please talk about this?” you finally ask quietly, and even though Dazai does want to say no, he simply cannot bring himself to. 
So, instead, he nods, and braces himself for what he knows is bound to be a terrible conversation. He waits for you to say something—you look like you want to, but he thinks that maybe you’re struggling just as much as him at opening the conversation. 
This isn’t going to go well, he realizes again, swallowing thickly. 
“Come on,” you finally say, rising to your feet. You hold out your hand to him and Dazai stares at it for a moment, confused. “Let’s get you cleaned up, you smell disgusting.”
“I wonder why,” Dazai mutters, and he means for it to come out as a joke, but when the small smile on your lips falters, he realizes it probably came out much too bitter so he quickly grabs your hand instead, letting you help him to his feet. He tries to get you to smile again by giving you a soft one of his own, but now the expression on your face is heavy and conflicted. “Are you gonna take a bath with me?”
“You should probably rinse off before we get into the bath,” you say dryly, thumb running along the back of his hand before you let go of it. “Otherwise we’ll just be sitting in shit water.”
Dazai almost gags. “Don’t remind me what I’m covered in right now,” he pleads. “Where is the shower?”
The light returns to your eyes, a smile flickers to your lips, and Dazai considers it a win even if he is covered in shit and god knows what else. He glances back down to where he’d been laying and winces when he sees the stains. His eyes flicker back up to you and he cringes when he sees the displeased expression on your face.
“I’ll make Atsushi and Akutagawa clean it,” you say more to yourself than to him, shaking your head and motioning for him to follow. “Bonding exercise.”
Dazai raises his eyebrows, unsure if the couch is even salvageable, and almost lets a comment slip about it considering you were so quick to throw out his couch to replace it, but he refrains when a sad expression crosses your face when you think he’s not looking. He frowns, looking around a bit more scrutinizing now.
This place looks nothing like your apartment.
Your apartment is… plain. Minimalistic. The most you have decorating it is a handful of paintings on the wall and a couple of antiques displayed on dressers. Other than that, you have your furniture, your television, and that’s just about it. Dazai had joked once about it feeling like a hotel room, and promptly stole your credit card to buy things to decorate with—gaudy Christmas lights even though it’s not Christmas, a couple of fake pumpkins to line against your wall and a plastic skeleton to pin up near the window. He even bought an inflatable snowman to put in the middle of the room, but it hasn’t come yet. You rolled your eyes every time you came back from work to see some new, seasonally inappropriate decoration in your apartment, but he could tell the more things he added to your apartment, the happier you seemed to be. 
This place was actually decorated. Pictures and trinkets set up on the dressers, all of the furniture matched and the walls were a warm burgundy instead of the off-putting, psych ward white of your apartment. You said this was a safe house, but it seems more like a home than your actual one. 
“What is this place?” he asks again, because it’s something more than a safe-house, he just doesn’t know what.
“I told you,” you frown. “A safe house.”
Dazai’s lips curl down in response but he doesn’t press, gaze flickering over to one of the side tables against the wall, trying to figure out who exactly is in the pictures on it, but as he strains his eyes to focus on it, pain ricochets through his head and he has to abandon the mission. Disappointed, he follows you into the back bedroom and realizes he’ll just have to figure it out later.
He almost stops in his tracks in the doorway when he sees that the bedroom is just as homely as the rest of the safe house. It’s weird—the same burgundy walls, dark mahogany furniture, there’s what looks to be a handmade quilt draped over the foot of the bed. It’s just so unlike you that it almost has Dazai reeling.
You give him an odd look when you see the twisted expression on his face, but motion toward another door. “The bathroom is in there—go rinse off and run the bath, I’ll be in there in a minute, I’m going to grab a change of clothes for you.”
“Mkay,” Dazai agrees, a jump in his step as he rushes over to the bathroom. 
He only pauses for a second to take in his surroundings when he gets in there—he’s not as surprised now by the style. Less modern, more rustic, just like the rest of the house; it’s more like something he’d expect to see in one of those American holiday movies. He leans over the tub to run the hot water before pulling off his clothes. He squints as he starts to unwind his bandages, looking into the shower and realizing that the only soap in there is an unopened bar soap, and a men’s shampoo and conditioner set. 
A bit suspicious now, he glances at the door leading to the bedroom before kneeling down in front of the cabinets beneath the sink. With one hand, he unwinds the bandages around his legs, and with the other, he reaches out to open the cabinet so he can snoop. Just as he expected: men’s deodorant, a spare baking soda and peroxide toothpaste that he knows you hate, and a handful of different colognes. There’s one bag off to the side and Dazai reaches for it, peeking in and finding your typical bath soaps and hair care.
Whose place is this? He wonders, pausing for half a second before taking out your soaps and bringing them into the shower with him. It’s not Chuuya’s—Dazai knows that because he hasn’t seen a single tacky hat yet, but then whose?
He’s quick to clean himself off, eager to be with you and still a bit anxious that you might disappear when he’s not looking. The water runs brown as it rinses over him, but it feels nice—Dazai realizes that this is his first shower since he got kidnapped by the Guild, and a part of him wants to bask in it. He wants to wash off all of the unfamiliar touches and the dirt and the blood, but more than that, he wants to surround himself with you instead. Which means he has to hurry out of here and drag you into the tub with him. 
He thinks maybe he should be biding his time. He has a lot to think about before he actually talks to you—he’s hardly even had a chance to process everything that happened—but still, he finds himself rushing to scrub himself. It couldn’t have been more than ten, fifteen minutes before he’s stumbling out of the shower and grabbing a towel to wrap around his waist. He almost expects you to be waiting in the bathroom for him, but you’re not, so he frowns and creaks the door back open to look for you.
Your name is on his lips as he steps back into the bedroom, but he falters when he sees you standing in the same place he left you: right outside a closet, except now the door is open and there’s a sweatshirt in your hands. The expression on your face is destroyed, and Dazai isn’t exactly sure what to say, luckily, he doesn’t need to because you hear the door open and turn toward him.
Whatever you’re about to say dies on your lips as your eyes trail over his body.
Another fatal mistake.
Dazai instantly realizes that he has never taken off his bandages in front of you before—that night at the beach house, he thought you were going to ask him to take them off, but you didn’t. He was glad for it, because he wasn’t sure if he was ready, and after that… Well, everything went downhill after that.
Dazai suddenly wants to flee. He becomes acutely aware of all of the scars on his body plainly in view. The warm, dim lighting becomes spotlights shining down on him, highlighting all of the flaws that he’s feared your reaction to. He waits for your face to twist—or, he knows you, you probably wouldn’t have such a visible reaction, so he focuses on your eyes instead.
But they only curve up along with your lips, a fondness in them that he doesn’t expect. You place the clothes down on the bed and approach him, his breath catches when your hands rest on his hips right above the towel. The skin-on-skin makes his chest ache—he’s missed you so much, he hadn’t even realized how hard it had been to breathe without you until he was back with you again.
“I’ve missed you so much,” he breathes out loud, lashes fluttering when your thumbs circle over his hip bones, right over a jagged scar that cuts across his lower abdomen—the product of an unfortunate encounter in Suribachi. 
“I missed you too,” you say softly. Your eyes trace over his face like you’re trying to memorize each little detail—usually he feels uncomfortable when under a scrutinizing gaze, he never wants someone to look too closely at him in fear of what they might find, but he feels warm beneath yours. “I’m sorry.”
He’s not sure exactly what you’re apologizing for; it could be anything from almost killing him to letting him into your life at all. He’s not yet ready for this conversation to start, he hasn’t even gathered his thoughts yet, so instead he glances pointedly back toward the bathroom. You let out a soft breath—he can’t tell if it’s irritation or you’re just tired, it might be both, but you do motion for him to go in and he can hear you following him.
The water is still steaming as he lets the towel drop to the ground and sinks into it. His muscles instantly relax, eyes sliding shut as he rests against the back of the tub, letting out a soft sigh. For a moment, he can almost forget everything that’s happened, his head falls to the side to focus on you as you undress, folding your clothes and placing them on the side table. He blinks when you pull off your dress shirt, gaze zeroing in on a scar marring your upper back. It’s small, circular—a bullet wound, maybe? It doesn’t go through to your chest though, he would’ve noticed that. 
“How did you get that?” he asks curiously, belatedly realizing he probably has no right to ask about scars considering his body is riddled with them and he’d probably evade most attempts at your prying if you asked. 
“Hm?” you ask quietly, looking over your shoulder at him as you finish undressing.
The words falter on Dazai’s lips as his gaze roves over your body. You’re beautiful, he thinks again, a bit more dreamily this time. You’re beautiful, and he’s missed you so much, and he just wants all of this to be over so he can go back to lounging in your apartment and spending your money all day. It’s only when you raise your eyebrows that he clears his throat and nods his chin to your back.
“The scar on your back,” he explains. “How did you get it?”
“Oh,” you realize, making your way over to the tub and tapping his shoulder, motioning for him to shift forward. You slip into the water behind him, circling your arms around his waist and Dazai’s chest feels warm and full as he rests back against you, eyes sliding shut. “An assassination attempt when I was eighteen. I was… reckless, saw it coming and… Well, luckily, the Flags had been in the area. Iceman figured out what was happening and they got there quick enough to stabilize me and get me to Mori.”
Dazai’s throat swells at the implication of what you’d said, trying to distract himself with the feeling of your fingers tracing across his abdomen. He notes softly, “You’re never reckless.”
Your fingers pause in the absent patterns you’re tracing on him, and Dazai wonders if it’s a sore topic, about to retract his words. Before he can, you let out a soft breath and drop your forehead down on his shoulder, arms tightening around him.
“This was Itou’s house. All of the stuff in here, it’s his family’s—stuff he was able to salvage after they were killed. He tried to keep the house like how his mother used to keep it as a way to memorialize her,” you say quietly. Dazai’s eyes widen as he recognizes the name of your old partner. “We were enemies when we first met, y’know? It was during the big conflict six years ago. He was part of one of the foreign organizations. I ended up recruiting him, but he spent a few months on his own here. He was careful to keep it a blind spot to the Port Mafia even after he joined up, I always thought he was paranoid about it, but he was quite insistent that there was no need for people to know about it.”
“Makes sense,” Dazai says dryly. “I wouldn’t want Mori knowing where I’m living either.”
It’s an off-handed quip, but you still stiffen and again, Dazai fumbles to say something else because he clearly upset you. He starts to add, “I-”
“I killed him,” you finally say, voice weak and airy. Your arms loosen around him, but his hands drop to cover yours, holding them in place. “I killed him, Osamu.”
“I thought you said he died on a mission,” Dazai murmurs, hand tightening around yours when he feels the way your fingers are trembling. 
“I… Itou was born into this life. Was born into a Yakuza-family based in Tokyo, trained since he was old enough to walk how to use his ability… how to kill. The Yakuza syndicate his family was the head of was wiped out by the Sun and Steel when he was eight… nine, maybe. His mother was able to get him and bring him back to Australia—that’s where she was from. It’s how he ended up with Strain,” you explain, and the water suddenly feels a bit cold—what happened to Itou’s family sounds a lot like what happened to Dazai’s. From the way you pause, you wonder if you realize the same thing. You quickly change the subject, “He tried getting me out of the Mafia.”
“What?” Dazai asks, surprised. He shifts to physically look at you, catching the wistful expression on your face. “You wanted to leave the Mafia.”
The wistful expression shifts into something much more conflicted. 
“I didn’t-” you start to say before cutting yourself off. “I don’t know. I think maybe a part of me might’ve wanted to. I was… curious. He was sneaky—he was always such a sneaky bastard. He tried to ease me into it, show me what a different life was like. Called them training exercises, wanted me to blend in with kids my age.”
He remembers you telling him this at the beach house, but he listens anyway because now you do sound wistful. His eyes slide shut as you hold him tightly, pressing your lips to his shoulder blade before resting your chin on top of it. 
“His gift to me for my eighteenth birthday was an acceptance letter to university. He pulled some strings. It was for YNU, actually, funny enough,” you say softly. Dazai’s eyes widen as he turns to look at you again; there’s a small, sad smile on your lips and when he turns, you take the chance to steal a kiss from him. “Imagine, we could’ve been first years together.”
Dazai doesn’t dare to respond. His hand tightens around yours—if it’s painful, you don’t let it show. Odasaku dragged him to orientation, and he imagines meeting you there. You’re good at socializing—charming—Dazai can be too when he wants, but he definitely did not want to during orientation. He mostly sulked away and waited for it to be over so he could go back home. He imagines that you’d be in the same group with him, and although he’d probably ignore you the first few times you tried to talk to him, he’d eventually give in. Dazai is weak to pretty women, especially when that pretty woman is you.
Or maybe, you’d meet during a shared class. You would probably be a poli-sci major, but he’s taken classes in the field for requirements. He hated them, thought they were boring, but he probably would’ve enjoyed it much more if he had you to admire all two hours of the class. And maybe-
“I was curious,” you repeat, voice tighter. There’s more of an edge to it now, and Dazai realizes that this story is about to take a turn. “I… I wanted to try it. I told Mori.”
Dazai’s eyes widen and he sits up straight. The water sloshes around him as he physically turns around to face you. He asks, but can’t finish, “Did he…”
“He said it was a great idea,” you say tightly. “He encouraged it. I accepted the spot, and a week before orientation, Itou died on a mission that we got bad intel for. My whole team, they died to make sure I got out alive. Mori denied having any involvement, said he wouldn’t risk an ability user as powerful as Itou, but I know. I know he had a hand in it. I’ve always known it. The government had been after Itou for years—they said he was a national security threat. A couple of weeks later, we suddenly have the skilled business permit that Mori’s been trying to get for months. It was a trade-off. I know it. Two birds, one stone. The skilled business permit and my full focus back on the Mafia for Itou’s life.”
Dazai’s lips part to say something—anything—but he can’t. Your eyes are misty, and the foreboding feeling that’s been haunting him since he woke up intensifies. You shake your head, blinking back tears. 
“I never should’ve brought you into this world, Osamu.”
Dazai needs to think now. He needs to figure out how exactly he’s going to go about this, whether he should be soft and demure, appealing to your heart, or if he should be more forceful, triggering your guilt. 
He goes with the latter.
“Well it’s too late for that,” Dazai says, keeping his voice steady until he knows how you’re going to react to it. When you instantly shake your head again, his voice hardens. “It’s too late, I’m already in it. You can’t just get rid of me. Take accountability.”
“You don’t think I have?” you question dryly, looking away from him. But he needs you to look at him for this to be effective, so he reaches out to grab your hand, dragging your attention back toward him. “I killed your family, Osamu.”
“She was a girl my age—the previous boss’s granddaughter—she was asleep, had a bear tucked in her arms and a nightlight on the right side of her bed. I slit her throat, then both of her older brothers. They were kids.”
Her name was Akane. Bunji and Touma were her brothers. 
They were Dazai’s brothers. Dazai’s sister. The stuffed bear was called Coco, and Akane would clutch it and cry whenever Dazai started talking about things like death. She was scared of dying; more than that, scared of the people she loved dying. She cried for weeks when their grandmother passed, and got angry at Dazai when he didn’t even cry at the funeral. Dazai used to share a bedroom with her and Touma, but he hated her nightlight—it was purple and it was always right in Dazai’s eyes when he laid down. He convinced his mother to force Bunji to swap rooms with him, so Dazai had his own room on the second floor of his grandfather’s estate.
“You were a kid too,” Dazai rasps out the same thing he said at the beach house, but it comes out a bit weaker this time knowing exactly who the people you killed were. “You were fourteen. You-”
“I played a role in tracking your mother down,” you continue. Dazai’s breath catches as his fingers loosen around yours. “It was my punishment for not making sure all of the grandchildren were… eliminated. I was the one that was tracking her down, and I was the one that was going to interrogate her for your whereabouts when I found her.”
“Stop,” Dazai says quietly, voice wavering.
“No,” you reply firmly. “No. You need to understand this-”
“I do,” Dazai insists, voice cracking. “I do understand-”
“You don’t, Dazai,” you raise your voice and Dazai cringes back. You sigh and soften your voice, but the damage has been done, Dazai’s fight or flight instincts have been triggered. This conversation is not going to end in his favor, so he needs to run before he gets hurt, but he can’t because you have him stuck in the bath with you. You reach out again to take his hands in yours, fingers absently running along the scars on his wrists. “You don’t, otherwise you wouldn’t have been so quick to join me in here. You haven’t even had time to process it.”
“Yes, I have,” Dazai whispers weakly. “I have.”
“I ruined your life, Osamu,” you say quietly. “Everything bad that’s ever happened to you started with me.”
“That’s not true,” Dazai argues, nails biting into your skin as he clings to you. “My life sucked before everything really went to shit. The first time I tried to kill myself, I was eleven. You saved my life. I was going to kill myself that night we met at the bar. You saved me.”
“Osamu-”
“You’re not listening to me,” Dazai interrupts, voice taking a more manic edge as he shakes his head. He can talk himself out of any situation—why is he failing now when it matters most? “You’re not listening. You saved me. I love you.”
“I love you too,” you breathe out, but the words don’t settle his nerves because they’re heavy and full of sorrow, and the tears that had been pooling in your eyes finally start to spill over.
“Then why does this still feel like a goodbye?” he begs, breath shallow as he searches your face for an answer.
You don’t respond, but you don’t need to. He finds his answer in your eyes. He always does. You look at him again with that desperate, longing expression, like you’re trying to memorize the details of his face even though you know it’s futile. 
This is a goodbye.
--
Dazai hasn’t spoken to you once since your conversation in the bath.
Chuuya, your subordinates, and the Flags are back now, and Dazai is sulking in the bedroom watching one of his dumb reality shows. You can hardly focus on the conversation at hand because of it, and you know the others are starting to get irritated by your distraction considering the stakes at play right now. If one thing goes wrong, all of your lives would be forfeit. They’re risking everything by helping you right now, and you can't even bother to give them your full attention.
“Out,” Piano Man suddenly says. Your gaze snaps toward him, as does all of the others’ in the room. When nobody immediately moves, he raises his eyebrows and continues dryly, “Are you all hard of hearing? I said get out.”
“Where are we supposed to go?” Albatross demands. “Her boy’s in the bedroom. This place is small-”
“Go crowd in the closet for all I care. Get out,” Piano Man says dismissively. Still, no one moves until his gaze sharpens and they realize he’s being entirely serious. You shift to leave with them until his eyes land on you. “Not you.”
You feel like a child about to be scolded, which is ridiculous because you’re a mafioso, and though Piano Man is technically the same rank as you, he’s not really. He can’t scold you, but you shift awkwardly on your feet and share a concerned look with Chuuya anyway as they all wander out of the safe house and into the small hallway outside.
Once the two of you are alone, you finally glance back at Piano Man, who’s watching you carefully. After a few moments he says, “I take it you told him the plan?”
“I did,” you reply quietly.
“He didn’t take it well?” Piano Man questions.
“You know the answer to that,” you say a bit more dryly before shaking your head. “Would you have taken it well?”
“Of course not, I’d be livid,” Piano Man says immediately, making you cringe. “Does this mean we’re changing the plan?” 
“No,” you tell him. “We can’t. This is the only option.”
“I know,” Piano Man says with a thin smile. “So stop sulking and get your head in the game so we don’t all die trying to perform a coup.”
You’re startled by the sudden sharpness in his voice, but you suppose you shouldn’t be. Piano Man has always been capricious, going from his whimsical moods to more cold and ruthless ones within a matter of seconds. You can hardly meet his eyes now, looking down at the ground to avoid them.
“Why are you helping me?” you ask after a few moments.
You don’t have to look at Piano Man to see the way he raises his eyebrows judgmentally. “Excuse me?” 
“I was going to kill you earlier. I held a gun to your head. Why are you helping me?” you press, the words weighing heavily on you as you remember the way he met your eyes when you lifted the muzzle of your gun to his temple.
Piano Man has the audacity to look amused. “When I first recruited Lippmann, I tried to drown him in the harbor because I got paranoid he sold me out to the feds after a mission went wrong. It happens—the next time it does, I’m going to be pulling my own gun out though. So, don’t let it happen again, yeah?”
“Yeah,” you agree quietly. “I’m sorry.”
You don’t apologize often, even when you know you’re entirely in the wrong. Mori has taught you only to apologize when it serves you, otherwise you should never make an admission of guilt or liability. So it’s not surprising when Piano Man’s eyebrows shoot upward, but his expression softens after a moment. He reaches out to pat your head.
“I know this isn’t easy,” he murmurs, “but we need you at the top of your game if this is going to work.”
“I know,” you reply. “... I know.”
“Good,” he says, patting the top of your head yet again before sighing. “Let me go get them and we’ll get back to planning, okay?”
“Mkay.”
You lean back against the wall as you look down at the table Lippmann set up for planning. The Flags, your subordinates, Kajii Motojiro—they’re non-factors in the planned coup. The Flags will support it, your subordinates will support you, and all Kajii cares about is his experiments. Paul Verlaine is not quite as secure, but Chuuya is confident that he’ll support whatever Chuuya goes along with.
The issue lies in Kouyou and the Black Lizards.
You already feel a headache come on just at the thought, lifting your hands to your head and rubbing your eyes as you knock the back of your head against the wall and let out a heavy sigh. Kouyou and Hirotsu won’t support the coup, you know it. They’re both loyal to Mori—both victims of the previous boss who found refuge in Mori when he took over. They’ll fight for him, and you know better than anyone that during a forceful transition of power, all dissidents must be removed, especially ones that hold significant power and influence.
But it’s Kouyou and Hirotsu. Kouyou, who was the one to teach you how to do your makeup properly, who bought you your first kimono to match her own. Hirotsu, who was always quick to execute anyone that openly disrespected you, who took you to a movie on your fifteenth birthday when Mori was busy dealing with the power transition so you didn’t spend it alone. The thought makes you sick—they were family, and maybe Hirotsu could be convinced. He’s loyal to Mori, yes, but more than that, he’s loyal to the Port Mafia. If you can manufacture a legitimate reason for the coup…
You sigh as you glance down the hall where Dazai is hiding in the bedroom, startled when your gaze catches his familiar brown. He’s seemingly just as surprised that you caught him spying, immediately slamming the bedroom door shut to retreat back into the safety of the room. Your lips curl up into a small smile, which is quickly washed away when your subordinates, the Flags and Chuuya all file back into the room.
“I’ll talk to Ane-san,” Chuuya finally says, reigniting the conversation. “I’ll make her see reason.”
“There’s no time for talking, Chuuya,” Piano Man tells him. “This all has to be done within hours. If we let word get out about what we’re doing… The coup is risky, and a civil war would be the end of this city.”
Frustration flashes across Chuuya’s face. “I’m not budging on this,” he says, voice tight with thinly restrained anger. “Either you give me the chance to talk to her, or I’ll withdraw my support.”
“Chuuya,” you sigh tiredly, wanting nothing more than to just sit down.
“No,” Chuuya interrupts you. “I won’t actively stand against you, but I won’t stand with you if you don’t give me the chance to talk to her.”
“Fine,” you finally say even though you know it’s a mistake. It’s asking for trouble. Piano Man gives you a sharp, disapproving look, but you shake your head. “It’s fine. She won’t be keeping her executive position.”
Chuuya’s face twists. “But-”
“No.” This time you interrupt him, holding up your hand. “I’m not budging on this. If you want the chance to talk to her and convince her this is the best route, I’ll give you it, but you need to meet me halfway. She’s not retaining her executive position.”
Chuuya looks unhappy, but after a few moments, he nods. “Fine.”
“I can’t risk it, Chuuya,” you tell him quietly. “I need people who I trust in the inner circle. I can’t trust her after what just happened.”
“I get it,” Chuuya says. “I just don’t like it.”
“That leaves three executive seats we need to fill.” Piano Man lets out a heavy sigh as he sits on the edge of the table, tilting his head back in exhaustion. “Your’s, Ace’s, and Kouyou-san’s. Do you even have three more people who you trust?”
Klaus and Akutagawa, you think to yourself, but neither of them are executive material. Your gaze drifts over to Albatross, Iceman, and Doc, each of them pointedly looks away, none of them want the open seats. Lippmann can’t take it, not with what you have planned for him. So, who else-
“Verlaine?” Chuuya offers. “He’s got a ton of experience with the European organizations—we’ll probably need it considering Dostoevsky’s involvement with the Guild, and this Book that’s apparently somewhere in the city. If it gets out to the public, we’ll have organizations swarming just like during the Dragon’s Head.”
You don’t like the idea of Verlaine being an executive, and you don’t think Piano Man does either considering his unfortunate first meeting with the man, but Chuuya raises good points. You have your own experience with the European underworld, but it’s nothing like what Verlaine has.
“Okay,” you agree, “and the other two?”
The Black Lizards are its own command unit that answers directly to the Boss. They don’t have a seat at the table because it’s not their field. Their field is war, not politics… but what other options are there? The people you trust are far and few in-between, you can probably count them on one hand.
“What about Tolstoy?” a familiar voice asks quietly from down the hallway. You look up immediately, gaze focusing on where Dazai is standing in the door of the bedroom, hands shoved in the pockets of his sweatshirt, shoulders hunched. He doesn’t like the attention of everyone on him, so he keeps his eyes trained fully on you. “Mishima?”
“They’re not part of the Port Mafia,” Chuuya dismisses, “they don’t get seats.”
“But what if they were?” Dazai presses, shuffling forward. He hardly spares Chuuya a glance before looking at you again. “The transition of power is going to be shaky, you need to strengthen your position in other ways, otherwise…”
“You think we should merge with the Three Deaths and the Sun and Steel,” Piano Man realizes, sitting up straighter as he considers Dazai’s proposition. “Doesn’t that risk destabilizing us even more though?”
He looks at you for an answer, but your gaze is focused on Dazai. He’s not even gone yet, but you already miss him desperately; all you want is to be with him, but it’s just not possible. You can’t have him and run the Port Mafia at the same time; he will die because of his affiliation with you, just like he almost did when the Guild captured him. It wouldn’t matter how safe you tried to keep him, one mistake and he would die. And that will lead to every decision you make being centered around him, not what’s best for the Port Mafia and that will lead to its inevitable ruin. 
“No, Osamu’s right,” you say, and Dazai preens at the praise, but then quickly deflates again. You want to reach out for him, but you refrain. “Not a merger. An acquisition. The Three Deaths and the Sun and Steel are already pretty much extensions of the Port Mafia, we would only be formalizing it. I trust Tolstoy and Mishima—I pretty much built the Three Deaths into what it is today myself. We’d give the Port Mafia an official foothold in Russia, more sway over everything that happens in Tokyo. It’s a good plan. Great one, even.”
“Will they even agree to it?” Chuuya asks doubtfully. “Go from being fully autonomous to answering to us.”
“They pretty much already do just answer to us,” Albatross mutters.
“They’ll agree to it,” you tell him quietly. “I’ll make sure of it.”
Tolstoy won’t be hard to convince. He, Chekhov and Gorky are all good friends of yours, you helped them build the Three Deaths, you helped them win territory battles against the Pale Flame and the Red Chamber. All it would take a few words of convincing for them to agree to it. Mishima might be more difficult, but all you have to do is convince his daughters, and they hang off your every word.
There might be some dissent from the Sun and Steel executives, but even then, you think it would be minimal at worst. It’s a good plan. Having Tolstoy and Mishima sitting at the executive table would lend you some much needed support during the transition, and with the Port Mafia subsuming the Three Deaths and the Sun and Steel, it would provide a major deterrence against any foreign movements from Cao Xueqin or Yi Sang.
“What about Hirotsu and the Black Lizards?” Akutagawa asks, shifting awkwardly when all eyes turn to him. He doesn’t meet anyone’s eyes, and you know it’s because he actually cares about what your answer might be. Akutagawa likes to pretend that he doesn’t care about anyone, but you know he has a soft spot for the unit that took Gin in so easily.
“We can’t afford to lose the Black Lizards,” Iceman notes as he lights another cigarette. “Especially if we’re bringing in other organizations. We don't want our own people to feel like they’re being lost in the mix, y’know?”
“I’ll handle Hirotsu,” you finally say. “It’ll be fine. I just need to figure out how to frame this. Needs to be framed in a way that makes him feel like this was the best, and only, course of action for the Mafia. He’s loyal to Mori only to the extent that he’s good for the Port Mafia. I’ll figure it out. Leave that to me.”
“Ace’s subordinates?” Albatross prompts. “They been handled? We can’t have them knowing about him. Can’t have anyone knowing about him.”
“Dead,” Akutagawa says. “I killed them.”
“Security cameras? CCTV? Any record of this kid being affiliated with us?” 
“Wiped,” Klaus answers flippantly. “We’ve gone through it every day since they met. Weren’t allowed to sleep ‘til made sure everything from the day was wiped. There’s no physical record of him ever being around us.”
“Okay, so we get this settled, and then we wait on Repin for the rest of us, right?” Albatross asks. Dazai cringes at the mention of Repin, and you look away from him, unable to watch the pain that crosses his face.
“Yeah,” you say quietly. “It all needs to happen within no more than a couple days otherwise we risk the wrong people finding out so…”
“So we should get started,” Chuuya sighs, pushing himself off the wall. He squeezes your wrist as he passes by you, walking in the direction of the door. “We’ll give you guys some time. I’ll let you know how things go with Ane-san.”
You nod, eyes following him as he leaves. The others follow, filing out of the room until it’s only you and Dazai left again. You turn to look at him, so many words on your lips but incapable of pushing a single one out. Instead, you reach out to cup his face between your hands, running your thumbs across his cheekbones. His lashes flutter shut as he leans into your touch.
“It doesn’t have to be like this,” he whispers, brown eyes heavy and glassy as he looks down at you. “We can figure something else out. I know we can. Just give me some time, I just need a little time, I’ll figure something out.”
“We don’t have time,” you say, voice cracking over the words. “I love you, Osamu.”
Dazai pulls away, shaking his head. He wipes quickly at his eyes before looking at you again. You expect what he says, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.
“I won’t forgive you. Not for this. Not ever. I can’t.”
“I know.”
--
SIX WEEKS LATER
“I must say, I wasn’t expecting this invitation,” a familiar voice hums as the door to your box opens. You don’t turn to look at him, keeping your gaze trained down on the performance taking place below. “Not from you, and not after everything that’s happened.”
“No?” you ask absently. “It’s unlike you to not expect something, Dostoevsky. Less like you to admit it.”
“Fyodor,” he corrects as he comes to stand next to you. He’s close enough to you that you can feel his body brushing yours. You finally turn your head to look at him—his lips are curved up into a deceptively soft smile, violet eyes glittering with a type of mischief that you know is dangerous. “We are well enough acquainted to be on a first name basis, no?” 
“Dostoevsky,” you repeat pointedly, looking back down at the show as the first act reaches its climax. Of all of the shows you’ve seen, Tosca is still your favorite. This rendition here at the New National Theatre isn’t quite as good as the one at La Scala, but you’re enjoying it well enough.
Dostoevsky lets out a huff of laughter, you don’t turn to look at him when you feel him reach out to touch you. His fingers trace along the maroon scarf hanging loosely over your shoulders. You barely withhold a shiver when you feel his knuckles skim your neck—rumor has it, skin-on-skin contact alone with Dostoevsky is enough to kill. You don’t die, but it’s enough to beckon your attention back to him.
“Red is your color,” he murmurs, looking down at you through his lashes. “You look beautiful.”
“It isn’t yours,” you reply quickly, glancing down at the red tie tied neatly around his neck. “Neither is flattery.”
Dostoevsky does laugh this time—it’s soft and short, pretty like a bell. Unbefitting of him, just like the color red and false flattery. 
“It isn’t?” he asks, keeping his voice deceptively playful. “I wore it for you. Since you invited me, I thought it appropriate that we match. I heard of your success in Yokohama. I should congratulate you on your new promotion. Or perhaps extend my condolences for the death of your father? Are condolences still proper when you were the one to drive the knife into his back?”
It’s a dig, an attempt to get under your skin and throw you off before getting into the meat of the conversation. You can feel his eyes on you, the soft playfulness gone and replaced by a sharpness that has you on edge.
“You said it yourself. One life or thousands.”
“It was a bullet to the head,” you correct idly—the words taste like poison on your tongue, but you’re careful to not let it show on your face. “Condolences are unnecessary. He was not my father.”
“It’s okay, dear, this was how it was always meant to be.”
“Hm,” Dostoevsky hums, amused. “I was quite pleased when I found out about the coup. I wasn’t expecting it.”
He wants to add something else but he decides against it. He’s very calculating with his words, he always has been, but he is especially now. You know that each word he speaks is chosen for a specific purpose, and it’s hard, even for you, to break down each one as he speaks it to understand why he says it so you can choose your own words carefully in return. Fyodor Dostoevsky is the only man capable of consistently beating you in exchanges of words, and that is concerning. 
It’s why you invited him here—you need an idea of what he’s planning while you solidify your newfound position.
“It seems you struggle to expect many things I do,” you note. “I should add it to my resume. I doubt many people are capable of repeatedly surprising Fyodor Dostoevsky.”
“It is true,” he agrees with an airy laugh. “You are a… difficult opponent. I will admit it.”
 “Is that so?”
Dostoevsky makes a soft noise of agreement, lashes fluttering as he glances over at you once before he looks back down at the show taking place down on the stage. 
“You are not guided strictly by logic,” he muses. “It's there, of course, you are very intelligent but it’s laced with so many emotions. It is difficult for me to determine your course of action because I can never predict when you will lead with emotion, and when with logic. And even then, there are grades to it. I could account for dozens of plans of action and miss the one you take because you are just a bit less emotional than I anticipated… I did not predict that you would go for Zelda Fitzgerald, it was quite bold—there was a high risk for failure. You make things… much more interesting. I enjoy it.”
“You would find something like that enjoyable,” you say sarcastically, taking a sip of your champagne. “There is something seriously wrong with you, Dostoevsky.”
“Fyodor,” he corrects again with a light smile. 
“Dostoevsky.”
“Heh,” he laughs quietly. “I will… wait for things to settle before making another move here in Yokohama. I’m curious to see how all of the chips fall on their own. You’re in for quite the storm with that bill that just passed through the Diet, aren’t you?”
You don’t respond. You got the answer you needed, so there’s no reason for you to keep entertaining his snide comments; you’ll just watch the show in peace. You’ll have the bit of time you need to get things settled before Dostoevsky makes his next play. Though the man is a compulsive liar and you have no reason to trust him, Dostoevsky has never lied so blatantly to your face, so you’ll take him at his word until you have reason to believe otherwise. 
Dostoevsky takes your silence as an opportunity to continue talking, naturally.
“I did have a question for though,” he says, a bit too thrilled by the prospect of your answer. You don’t like the way his eyes are lit up, and you especially don’t like the smile on his lips. “Entertain me?”
You raise your eyebrows pointedly, waiting for him to ask it. 
“I heard rumors that the reason behind your sudden decision to overthrow your father was more… intimate than most believe,” Dostoevsky murmurs, leaning like he’s sharing in some schoolgirl gossip with an old friend. Your brows furrow as you process his words. “You must tell me what boy has managed to steal your heart. He must be something special. Not even I was capable of that, I’m almost jealous.”
You look at him now, gaze sharp but confused as your eyes trail over him before focusing back on his face. He seems surprised by your reaction, tilting his head to the side and studying you carefully.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
--
to be continued in ... the land is inhospitable (but are we?) [est. release: early feb]
--
WOWWWWWW GUYS WE FUCKING FINISHED CIVZAI .... or well, ;) civzai1. some notes:
i promised a happy ending, i know ... but i promised it for civzai in general, and they DO have a happy ending ... just not yet. pls dont bully me ill cry i'm so proud of this. i didn't lie.
i always intended on there being two parts to this series because i feel like time apart is essential in the pmreader universe. when dazai defected in canon universe, and now with her taking over as boss and wiping her memories of him. the first part was always gonna be the guild arc, the second arc is gonna be my rendition of the hunting dogs and the decay of the angel
this is the ONLY universe where pmreader becomes port mafia boss ;) i actually had it noted that there was only one universe on the background page in wykyk once i started writing wasteland, baby but no one caught it ;) i was wondering if anyone would put two and two together
i actually went back and retconned chapter 1 to have them talking about the divine comedy instead of petrarch because of the first scene in this chapter. i thought it would be neat coming full circle with the themes of betrayal and death, + the hozier song this chapter is based on is about the 9th circle in the divine comedy. so everything just tied together too neatly for me to not add it.
;) just remember now with repin involved, reader's narration is now entirely unreliable. we don't know what's truth and manufactured by repin.
i was actually really tempted to base civzai2 off of a mother mother album just because hayloft II fits what's going to be the first half of it SO fucking well, but i had to go with mitski because the whole album literally captures the vibes of the second series perfectly
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moody-alcoholic · 1 day ago
Text
Part 2 as promised.
Part 1
CW: Dead dove don’t eat, assault, mentions of SA, torture, suicidal thoughts, hurt/comfort.
_____________________
Ghost flicks the ash off his cigarette. 
“Do we know who we’re looking for?" Gaz asks. It's a pointless question. They know who they’re looking for. You’ve been mentioning a guy at work who has been getting a little too handsy. 
You were going to confront him in the new year with your boss. You didn’t want to ruin anyone's Christmas, now yours is ruined. 
People are starting to leave the office building now, it’s just past midnight. They watch in silence concealed in the darkness down an alleyway a few buildings from your workplace. Maybe this was the alley you were found down. It’s dark and cold, the businesses are all closed, it would have been easy to coerce you down, it makes his stomach drop. Someone hurt you, he hurt you. 
“Should have taken care of this sooner.” Gaz says. Ghost just hums watching as the lights in the buildings go off. The last few people are filtering out the building. Ghost straightens up flicking his cigarette but to the floor. 
“That’s him.” Ghost says, blowing out the smoke before reaching up to pull the familiar balaclava down over his face. 
_____________________
When the police arrive you feel somewhat sober. Your body is sore, your head throbbing. Seeing them walk in with all their gear makes you nervous. All of a sudden you feel like you’ve done something wrong. 
Johnny never leaves your side, he holds your hand stroking it with his thumb while the female officer asks you questions you don’t know how to answer. You still can’t remember what happened. You can piece it together though, you can tell by the hushed voices and the somber looks from people. 
The worst is the pain, the ache in your body every time you move, the bruises hurt the most.  Sometimes Johnny runs his fingers over them, his eyes going dark and he lets out a sigh. John stands at the end of the bed still, his gaze never leaves you unless someone enters the room. You just want to go home. 
The most embarrassing part is when they have to take pictures of your injuries. Your swollen eye is now turning black and blue. There’s bruises around your neck, talking hurts, swallowing’s worse. The nurse gives you more painkillers but it just makes you feel sick. 
John talks with the officers and the nurse after they’re done. Johnny tries to keep your attention on him. You feel embarrassed, the nurse said they did a rape kit, you don’t even remember that, the police need to take it for evidence. That makes silent tears come, you can’t stop them. 
“C’mon, none of that love.” Johnny says reaching up to brush them away. 
“I want to go home,” you sob. 
“We’ll be home soon, promise,” he smiles. You want a shower, you want to scrub your body clean. You feel dirty, your stomach is turning as your mind wanders to the unthinkable. You hope you never remember what happened, you fear you won’t be so lucky.
_____________________
Ghost’s fist meets his cheek, his nose is broken, his jaw will be next. Not now though, now they need him to talk. 
“Price says he’s on his way.” Gaz says as he walks back over to him. “Asked you not to kill him.” Ghost just grunts. 
Ryan, that's his name. You never mentioned that to them, you didn’t mention much just that he was making you uncomfortable. Gaz was right they should have dealt with this sooner. They shouldn’t have let you go to the party alone. Even before you left you had reservations. 
Ryan hasn’t said much. He was very drunk when they picked him up. He seems pretty sober now, he’s scared. 
Good, he should be.
Ghost wonders if you were scared, when you were assaulted. It doesn’t seem like you remember much, for your sake he hopes it stays that way. 
The door to the secluded warehouse opens, the sound of slamming metal echoes in the space. John bought this place a few months ago, used to store scrap metal. The place still smells of rust, but it’s outside the city center, it’s quiet and that's all they need. 
Price walks over coming out of the darkness. He doesn’t say a word, just takes in the scene. Ryan looks up, his eyes glued on the new person walking up to him. Price grabs the back of a chair and places it in front of him before sitting down. 
“Ryan, right?” He asks. The man nods. “Had a good night? He doesn’t move. 
“Do you like your job?” He nods again. Price leans forward. “So, let's have a chat about what happened tonight.” 
“Nothing happened tonight,” he says, swallowing hard. Price smiles at him for a second before sitting back up.
“Let’s try that again. What happened at the party?” Ryan looks confused for a second. Blood is still dripping from his nose, Price sighs this is going to be a long night. 
“Wait, is this all about her?” He asks looking up past Price at Ghost. “Look I don’t know what you think happened but she came onto me.” 
Price hums his hands gripping his thighs before getting up and moving the chair away. “Thing is, I just don’t believe you.” Ghost steps back over to him. 
“I’m telling the truth.” He pleads. 
“Nope, try again.” Price says. Ghost’s fist crashes into Ryans face. His head snaps uncomfortably, he spits blood coughing. 
“So what happened at the party?” Price asks again. 
“Who the fuck even are you!?” He shouts looking round at the 3 men standing in front of him.  
“That doesn’t matter.” Price says, Ryan scoffs spitting again. 
“Why do you care?” He asks, looking around at everyone. 
“It’s a simple question.” Price says bending down so his head is level with his face. “We can be here all night. Or you can be honest with us.” 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He says, there’s a shake in his voice. The adrenaline and alcohol pumping through his system is filling him with confidence. They have to break that first. Price sighs moving back to stand with Gaz. 
This time Ghost’s fist slams into his stomach. He buckles over in pain, crying out as he pants. Price doesn’t wait, striding over to him grabbing his hair, pulling his head back. 
“Okay, okay. But she was drunk!” He shouts, trying to fight Price’s grip. His arms and legs are tied to the chair. Price doesn’t let go of his head holding it back as far as it will go. 
“No. Try again.” Price says through gritted teeth. 
“I didn't do anything!” He says between breaths. Price looks up at Ghost and nods, Ghost unfolds his arms going back over to the car. 
“We can make this very uncomfortable for you. All we need is the truth.” Price says, pulling his head again. 
“I don’t know anything.” There’s a whimper in his voice, a crack in his confidence. They're getting there. Price forces his head straight as Ghost comes back over to them twirling the knife in his hand. Ryans eyes go wide, his arms and legs pulling on the restraints. Price keeps his grip firm on his head forcing him to look at Ghost’s hulking figure moving towards him. 
“Last chance.” Price says. Ryan doesn’t say anything, his eyes still locked onto Ghost. 
“I-I didn't-” He sucks in a breath of air swallowing. “She was drunk!” 
Price sighs, shaking his head. He looks up at Ghost, he can see the disgust behind his lieutenants eyes. 
Ghost plunges the knife into his thigh. Price lets go of Rhyn’s head as he screams.
_____________________
John left almost an hour ago. Johnny recommended a bath instead of a shower, so you could soak and warm up. He gets in the bath with you pulling your back up against his chest as you sit between his legs. The bath was a good idea, the water is almost too hot but you don’t mind. 
It feels good to be in Johnny’s arms. He helps you rub soap over your body. He’s gentle, pressing kisses on your shoulders avoiding your neck. You sigh, relaxing back into him. Your head is still stuffy, it feels like you’ve been run over by a truck. 
“Where is everyone?” You ask. 
“Out, they’ll be back soon don’t worry.” He says his voice is warm in your ear. His arms squeeze you closer to him. The memories of the night seem to be just out of reach, you remember a face though. 
“I know who it was,” you say your voice catches in your throat. 
“Shh, we don’t have to talk about it.” His hand comes to push hair behind your ear. You smile, you don’t want to talk about it but maybe it will help. 
“I have work tomorrow.” Your stomach sinks. The thought of going back to that place with him there. Having to spend the days avoiding him, brushing off his hands as they squeeze your ass or his fingers press against your breasts. You were going to talk to your boss about him in the new year. 
“No you don’t, don’t worry about anything.” He says kissing your shoulder again. You shiver, the water has lost its heat. Johnny shifts pushing you forward. 
“C’mon let’s get you into bed. You’ll feel better after a good sleep.” You don’t know if you believe him but he gets out the bath leaving you alone and cold. You feel dirty, used. You feel panic rising in your chest. As soon as you hear the door to the room open you lay down in the tub closing your eyes and holding your breath. 
Your mind goes back to the alley, it’s like flashes in your vision, the dump trash bin you’re uncomfortably bent over. A hand over your mouth then round your neck. The pain, the pain is unbelievable. You don’t remember how it happened, how you ended up there, the next thing you remember is a party of drunk women finding you. Then the paramedics showed up. 
Your lungs burn but you don’t care. You deserve the pain. Hands grip your arms pulling you up out of the water. 
“Christ love,” Johnny says, holding you against him as you pant sucking in breaths of air. The panting turns to sobbing. He reaches, pulling the plug out the bath and picking you up in his arms. 
“I know, love I know.” He takes you into the bedroom putting you down on the bed. You pull your legs up to your chest. Johnny dries you, rubbing you down while you sob. He brings pyjamas over, he helps you change, pulling the fresh clothes on you. You still feel dirty, maybe it will always be like this. You don’t want it to be like this.
“It hurts.” You say as he climbs into bed behind you. His arms wrap around you pulling your back against his chest. 
“You’re okay lass, you’re safe.” He kisses the top of your head. It’s not, it's not going to be okay. You just hope whatever the others are doing they’re safe. You miss them, you want to see them again. You want everything to go back to normal 
Simon crawls into the bed with you and Johnny. You’re asleep on Johnny’s chest. He shuffles up against your back wrapping his arm around you both. His hair is still wet from the shower. He kisses the top of your head. Johnny stirs feeling a hand grip his hip. 
“Did you get him?” Johnny asks, his voice still sleepy. 
“Yeah, we got him.” 
_____________________
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checkeredflagggs · 3 days ago
Text
The Story of Us: Chapter 1
pairing: logan sargeant x famous!fem!singer
summary: logan and you have been keeping a secret from everyone but it might be time for it to come out
a/n: while I do my best on most of my works to be race neutral, this one is very very very self indulgent 🤷🏻‍♀️
a/n2: this is part 1 of 4/5, which will be released when they’re finished and I’m using pretty much everything from Taylor Swift
a/n3: I still don’t understand instagram so - no one but those that follow you can see a private accounts comments (even on a public post). Also I still hate twitter so I’ve replaced it with Bluesky
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y/n_fanpage
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y/n_fanpage: y/n_nation has been busy this past week with hints of what’s to come. Obviously midnight has something to do with her announcement! Thoughts?
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user1: NO. SHUT UP!!!
↳user2: NEW STUFF??? NEW MATERIAL??
↳user1: MOTHER IS BACKKK!!!
↳user2: I forgot that it’s y/n_nation that posts the announcements now 😭😭 I feel like I’ve missed so much stuff
↳user1: girl you better go back and check it out
charles_leclerc: cannot wait! Will definitely be on repeat in the garage
↳carlossainz55: yes!!
↳scuderiaferrari: already making room for it in the playlist!
↳user3: ok but this just makes sense to me!!
↳user4: right? Of course Carlos and Charles are y/n fans!
user5: another banger album on the way!
↳user6: album of the year!!
user7: 🤞🤞 fingers crossed it’s a love album
↳user8: oh my god same?
↳user7: like I love her other stuff so much but her love albums??? Next. Level.
↳user8: right?? Oh imagine being loved by someone who writes literal love songs for you
↳user7: not just love songs tho…Thee love songs!
alex_albon: new race day anthem loading!
↳logansargeant: 😂
↳alex_albon: I can’t be teammates with you if you’re not a y/n fan
↳logansargeant: biggest fan there is
↳alex_albon: well that’s not possible
↳lilymhe: no one is taking that title from us!
↳logansargeant: if you say so…
↳oscarpiastri: 🤣🤣
user9: tour tour tour tour!
↳user10: she’s hasn’t even released the album yet? Like Jesus…
y/n
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y/n: this is a no judgement zone, right? Right? Meet the newest members of the family — Snowball and Snowflake, Marshmallow, and Croissant!
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user11: I’m in love?
↳user12: you’re in love? I’m in love!!!
↳user13: they’re so cute!
maxverstappen1: You’re a cat mom too?
↳user14: still not over the thought that vroom vroom guys are in mothers comment section
logansargeant: good looking pups there!
charles_leclerc: it must be the season for new pets!
↳user15: ok but this seems desperate?
↳user16: oh I’m glad I’m not the only one to sense this
↳charles_leclerc: non! It is called shooting your shot!
↳user15: reads like desperation tbh
↳maxverstappen1: ha
↳charles_leclerc: I don’t think I like you anymore
↳user15: I’m not sure who you’re talking too or who should be more offended
↳charles_leclerc: yes
y/n
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y/n: We lie awake in love and in fear, in turmoil and in tears. We stare at walls and drink until they speak back. We twist in our self-made cages and pray that we aren’t — right this minute — about to make some fateful life-altering mistake.
This is a collection of music written in the middle of the night, a journey through terrors and sweet dreams. The floors we pace and the demons we face. For all of us who have tossed and turned and decided to keep the lanterns lit and go searching — hoping that just maybe, when the clocks strike twelve…we’ll meet ourselves.
Midnights, the story of 13 sleepless nights scattered throughout my life, is yours now. Meet me at midnight
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user16: what??? Like what??
user17: did she seriously just drop a surprise album on us?????
↳user18: miss ma’am mother i know that the album is called midnight but that does NOt mean you have to drop it at midnight! I have classes tomorrow!
maxverstappen1: vigilante shit is on repeat!
↳redbullracing: we can confirm this ✅
↳charles_leclerc: bejeweled is where it’s at actually
↳scuderiaferrari: excuse us while we grab our rhinestones
↳maxverstappen1: it’s ok to admit you’re wrong.
↳charles_leclerc: I’m glad you’re being truthful!
↳maxverstappen1: 😑😑😑
user19: ok but mastermind??? What kind of groundwork are you laying girl??
↳user20: right??? She’s been writing love songs for years and there’s still nothing about who they’re for
↳user21: for real!!! She’s come out about a lot of her songs — illicit affair about yourbff and back to December being about yoursister — but she’s Never! Said anything about who the love songs are about!
↳user19: I’m convinced she’s in a long term relationship and they’re all about her partner!
↳user20: user53 your help is needed rn!
↳user53: oh god not again
↳user19: when im right im gonna laugh in your face
↳user53: uh huh sure you will
alex_albon: do we have to pick a favorite?? Can’t we just play it on repeat in it’s entirety?
↳lilymhe: we absolutely will be doing that
↳logansargeant: really? The entirety??
↳alex_albon: for someone who tried to say you were her biggest fan, this is disappointing behavior
↳lilymhe: it really is
↳logansargeant: 🤷🏼‍♂️🤷🏼‍♂️
↳logansargeant: 🤣
oscarpiastri: my sisters have been screaming at me since it dropped
↳logansargeant: oops. Sorry about that man — know how that feels
↳hattiepiastri: we! need! a! signed! copy!
↳oscarpiastri: I thought you were just into kpop?
↳hattiepiastri: mom! nicolepiastri Oscar is being mean!
↳oscarpiastri: low blow.
↳hattiepiastri: 🤨🥺
↳oscarpiastri: …I’ll see what I can do
↳user19: 🧐🧐🧐
landonorris: I don’t know which one to choose as a favorite…
↳oscarpiastri: oh no
↳landonorris: which means all of them are!
↳oscarpiastri: does this mean…
↳carlossainz55: he will be singing the entire album at the top of his lungs, yes
↳danielricciardo: it won’t be good singing but it will be consistent
↳oscarpiastri: no
↳carlossainz55: yes
↳danielricciardo: yup
↳landonorris: go away muppets! Leave me and y/n and her album alone
↳oscarpiastri: 🤣🤣
logansargeant
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logansargeant: always a great feeling being back home — even better with new friends
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user22: new puppy??? Winter break did Logan good this year!
alex_albon: you didn’t tell me you got a new dog!
↳logansargeant: haha it’s technically not mine but sorry!
↳alex_albon: you got a new dog and didn’t tell me!! Me!!
↳logansargeant: 😂😂
↳lilymhe: he’s pacing right now, he’s in distress
↳logansargeant: sorry not sorry
↳logansargeant: would a visit with him help?
↳alex_albon: it is literally the least you could do
↳logansargeant: 😂 he’ll be at Miami
↳alex_albon: good!
user23: ummm?? Could I take the place of the puppy???
user24: I’m?? Jealous? Of a dog…
↳user25: big mood
↳used24: this is not where I predicted my life would be 10 years ago…
↳user25: no one ever does.
user19: am I gonna be attacked if I say something?
↳user53: potentially
↳user19: do you just have me on notifications??
↳user26: we alert them every time we see you post
↳user26: you scare us
↳user19: just because I’m always right doesn’t mean I’m scary
↳user53: ok let’s take it to dms.
↳user19: buckle up then buddy cause I’ve got it all printed out
↳user26: user53 is a real one 🫡 taking it for team
↳user19: 😡😡😡
↳user53: user19 come on. Explain your newest conspiracy
not_y/n: what a cutie! And he looks so well behaved
↳not_logan: why thank you!
↳not_oscar: gross guys. Keep it to yourselves please and thank you
↳not_y/n: why?? Want me to call you a good boy too??
↳not_logan: absolutely not!
↳not_oscar: eww 🤢 you’re solidly in the sister category and this is not game of thrones
↳not_y/n: 😜
↳not_y/n: speaking of — hotd season 1 binge before Miami?
↳not_logan: yes!
↳not_oscar: yes! — L
↳not_oscar: i guess that it’s a yes from us
y/n
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y/n:
What keeps you up at night?
It’s a momentary glimmer of distraction. The tiniest notion of reminiscent thought that wanders off into wondering, the spark that lights a tinderbox of fixation. And now it is irreversible. The flame has caught. You’re wide awake.
3am is different from midnight — the sky is ever darker and the thoughts even more haunting. Things that would keep you up at one don’t at the other.
Midnights: the 3am edition is yours now
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user27: why? Would? You? Do? This? To? Me?? I just barely got over midnights?? And now I have to listen to 3am??
oscarpiastri: again? Didn’t we just go through this 2 weeks ago?
↳landonorris: WOOOO!
↳oscarpiastri: oh no 😥
↳logansargeant: you could show some enthusiasm? You’ve definitely said she’s one of your favorite artists before
↳oscarpiastri: she is. Lando’s version of her? Not so much
↳landonorris: so rude!
↳carlossainz55: I think it might be a self defense mechanism
↳danielricciardo: gotta save those eardrums somehow
↳landonorris: 😡😡
danielricciardo: Paris baby!
↳user28: I knew you were a man of taste!
↳yukitsunoda0511: he’s really not. The Great War is superior
↳danielricciardo: you wish
user29: ok but would’ve, could’ve, should’ve??
↳lilymhe: karma is still the superior song
↳alex_albon: bigger than the whole sky? Did you miss that song?
↳lilymhe: we’re breaking up. I can’t be with someone who’s top song isn’t karma
↳user29: sorry but you’re both wrong 🤷🏼‍♂️
user19: Paris???? Are you kidding me!??!? And The Great War?!??
↳user53: I’m gonna need you to take a deep breath
↳user19: I told you!
↳user53: yes you did. And, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, I’m starting to believe you
↳user30: who are you and what happened to user53?
↳user53: I don’t know man. I don’t know
↳user53: however user19 might be on to something here…
↳user19: MIGHT?!?
↳user19: just you wait!
y/n_nation
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y/n_nation: pack your backs and get your tickets! Coming to a city near you, the Eras Tour is a journey through y/n’s decade long music career!
Starting in Miami, Opening Night is Monday, May 6…more
view all comments
user30: YES!!!
↳user31: omg omg omg omg!!!!
danielricciardo: already planning on it!
↳maxverstappen1: so lucky that opening day is immediately after the Miami GP!
↳danielricciardo: exactly! It’ll be nice to spend a few extra days in Florida!
↳user19: yes so lucky…
oscarpiastri: on the one hand I think my sisters would kill me if we didn’t go for opening night…on the other hand I don’t know if I can do a live show with Lando…
↳logansargeant: maybe you’ll get lucky and have separate seating?
↳oscarpiastri: one could only hope…
↳landonorris: you frickin muppets
↳hattiepiastri: seriously???
↳oscarpiastri: will work on it
↳hattiepiastri: yes!!
alex_albon: suddenly i feel like the garages will have a lot of extra guests…
↳lilymhe: what do you mean? I always planned on going to Miami!
↳alex_albon: does always mean 20 minutes?
↳carmenmmundt: it does actually!
↳georgerussell63: since when?
↳francisca.cgomes: for about the last 20 minutes!
↳pierregasly: hint received
↳francisca.cgomes: 🤭
user32: ok i need to be at opening night now…
↳user33: right? The chance to see all these drivers in person?
↳user32: AND to see y/n perform live?!? Dream come true
charles_leclerc: I am ready to fight the Ticketmaster
↳alexandrasaintmleux: yay!
↳user34: oh to have Charles leclerc fight Ticketmaster for you…
logansargeant
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logansargeant: last minute dates before the season starts
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user35: who? What? Where? When?
↳user36: A GIRLFRIEND?!??!!? SINCE WHEN????
alex_albon: first you get a dog and don’t tell me and now you have a whole ass GIRLFRIEND AND DIDNT TELL ME???? Where is the team loyalty?
↳logansargeant: …we’ve been together longer then I’ve been your teammate?
↳user37: what?? HOW LONG?
↳alex_albon: exactly! HOW LONG???
↳logansargeant: just over 10 years now
↳alex_albon: you were a baby?
↳logansargeant: I was nearly 14?
↳alex_albon: a baby!!
oscarpiastri: tell her to answer her texts
↳logansargeant: she said she’s on a strict no phone policy
↳oscarpiastri: I can see her on her phone right now
↳logansargeant: “oh it’s exclusively against Australians who mocked my cooking attempts”
↳oscarpiastri: 😑😑😑
↳oscarpiastri: whatever she made IT WAS NOT BANANA BREAD
↳logansargeant: “but you didn’t have to laugh at me!”
↳alex_albon: the Australian knows???
↳oscarpiastri: there are levels here albon. Gotta get on my level — childhood best friends
jensonbutton: you’ve never mentioned you had a girl, kid
↳logansargeant: ok but to be fair you’ve never asked?
↳jensonbutton: and you’ve never introduced us?
↳logansargeant: she supports from a distance — she also travels a lot for work
↳jensonbutton: kid…
↳alex_albon: DOES ANYONE BUT THE AUSTRALIAN KNOW??
↳oscarpiastri: my family knows
↳alex_albon: Logan…
↳logansargeant:😂
user38: that Florida sun does something amazing for Logan!
↳user39: is it the sun or is it the girl??
↳logansargeant: it’s not the girl
↳logansargeant: it’s my girl
↳user39: I am literally swooning right now good lord
user19: user53! I told you
↳user53: …yeah ok
↳user40: user19 I need the timeline I need the proof I need the receipts
↳user19: I’ve got you!
Bluesky
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f1
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tagged: y/n, y/n_nation
f1: it’s time to be fearless! Miss Americana will be performing the National Anthem at the Miami GP the day before the start of her Eras tour!
view all comments
user41: oh my god!!! I get to see her twice???
↳user42: seriously??? I’m so jealous
↳user41: I don’t know which gods blessed me but I managed to get tickets to both!!
↳user42: you know I heard it’s good to sleep with your windows open…
maxverstappen1: y/n the Redbull Garage would gladly welcome you!
↳redbullracing: absolutely! You Belong With Us!
↳user43: …is the redbull admin playing wingman for max?
↳redbullracing: the grind never stops
↳maxverstappen1: thanks admin
↳user43: gotta respect that I guess
landonorris: I think papaya is more your color y/n!
↳user44: I think she might prefer a winner actually
↳user44: you know to match her 3 album of the year’s
↳landonorris: ok i let stand the bullying from my friends and teammates
↳landonorris: but im not gonna stand for it from you
williamsracing: i think we could have The Best Day with you and your fellow American y/n!
↳logansargeant: hey what?
↳alex_albon: that’s it? Gonna need more enthusiasm from the guy who “claims” he’s the biggest fan
↳lilymhe: yeah! Show off your American spirit
↳logansargeant: caw caw 🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅
↳y/n: stunning show
↳lilymhe: 🤯🤯
user49: did…did she just…
↳user50: respond to Logan Sargeant? Yeah
↳user49: ohmygod
scuderiaferrari: I do believe Red is your color y/n
↳charles_leclerc: we look best in Red here!
↳carlossainz55: and we have ice cream!
↳charles_leclerc: yes! Custom ice cream just for you
↳alexandrasaintmleux: and we’ll even have a puppy if you’d like a puppy play date!
↳charles_leclerc: yes leo is very well behaved
↳user51: the desperation stinks all up in here
user52: i am living for all the garages trying to get y/n to join them for the weekend
↳user54: my favorite part is the desperation coming from the drivers
↳user54: silly vroom vroom guys and gals thinking they could shoot their shot with y/n… liked by not_y/n
Private Messages
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y/n_gossip
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Be the first to like
y/n_gossip: breaking! Coming from unknown sources are apparently leaked photos from y/n’s private phone.
My questions are how was she hacked and who is the guy!
Be the first to comment
Private Messages
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sidemari · 3 days ago
Text
• "The way I love you"•
A short compilation of each character's ways of showing they love you.
Characters included: Aphelios, Hwei, Jayce, Jhin, Jinx, Sett, Silco, Viktor, Yone (separately and in this order) x GN!Reader
Warning: Mentions of Jhin's gun in his text section, since we're talking about a criminal psychopath, lol. Other than that, it's just a silly and cute post.
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Aphelios
He must admit that his favorite place in the world is when you're sitting with him on the couch or even in bed, with your back against his torso, his legs wrapped around yours and his head resting on your shoulder as you read the pages of a book out loud.
"Some things are more precious because they don't last long"* You read the sentence, letting it sink in. "Do you agree with that, Phel?"
His eyes widened, he wasn't really paying attention to the story, even though it was a classic of literature. He was just enjoying how pleasant your voice sounded.
"I bet you weren't paying much attention"
He just nodded, his cheeks growing warm with embarrassment.
His hand squeezed yours in apology.
You squeezed it back, letting him know it was okay.
"Aren't you two adorable?" Alune sang in Aphelios's thoughts.
*"The Picture of Dorian Gray" reference.
Hwei
Letting you see his most secret artworks was the way he could show his love for you. Letting you participate in the creation of new pieces was also common, with him patiently guiding you through the process.
"Are you sure about this?" You asked anxiously, trembling when he put the paint-soaked brush in your hands. He just timidly smiled before nodding.
"You inspire not only my art, but my soul as well" His hand covered yours, helping you to put the final brushstrokes on the canvas. "I want you to be part of this"
Jayce
You could say this man likes to be a provider. That being said, he would do anything on his reach to make you happy.
And what usually makes you happy is a whole body massage after a full day of fiddling with trinkets and dealing with daunting equations in the lab.
You sighed in frustration as you laid down on the bed after showering, your aching muscles making you uncomfortable. His hands squeezed your shoulders gently, making you whimper softly.
"You're tense" His hands worked on the right places so you could finally relax. "Let me help you with that"
"You don't have to-" You couldn't finish your line, not when he was so efficiently taking away your pain.
"See?" He teased. "Let me spoil you a little, love"
Jhin
He allows you to play his piano, take off his mask and even hold Whisper - his gun - whenever you pleased. That was his deviant way of showing you were a slightly more important piece in his performance.
"When will you put this to good use, my muse?" He asked, playfully tracing patterns against your thigh with his gun. With the time you’d known him, you knew better than to give in to his distorted ideas.
"Preferably never" You muttered, taking Whisper off his hand and setting it aside. "I learned a new sheet while you were gone, wanna hear it?"
Jinx
She lives for cuddling with you.
It's always the peak of her day.
It feels so intimate and perfect.
Being with you, feeling the softness of your skin, the warmth of your body, the smell of your shampoo and cologne, feeling you melt against her, letting go of your worries as she hums a familiar tune, is the closest thing to heaven she could ever get.
"I could stay like this forever" You whispered, feeling her chuckle against your nape.
"Did you swap your shampoo brand?"
"Jinx…" You deadpanned.
"I'm just teasing you" She kissed your hair. "I could spend eternity with you in my arms"
Sett
This seems so obvious, but not only would he let you freely touch his ears, he would also ask you to give them the attention they need. Also, he would gladly allow you to see through his tough facade, giving you the chance to know how kind and pure he can be.
It was a funny scene, to say the least. A man of almost two meters of height, in his knees, with his head resting on your lap, confessions leaving his lips.
"This feels good…" He sighed, closing his eyes in bliss as you played with his ears. You pulled one of them playfully. "H-Hey!"
"You are really something" You mused.
Silco
Almost every night you can prepare for laying down on the couch, with your head on his lap, his fingers combing through your hair as he tells you stories about his past.
Often you fall asleep like that, with him taking you to your bedroom after he notices you wouldn't wake up so easily.
"We used to meet a lot back then, it was-" He was missing your voice responding to his comments. It was when he noticed you had fallen asleep, looking so vulnerable and precious as he played with your hair. "Guess I'll have to finish this story tomorrow"
Viktor
Brews coffee or makes tea for you every day, appearing by your side on the laboratory to help you unwind in the moments you were feeling exhausted or distressed with your work. It's his way of showing he cares about you.
"Here, have this" he squeezed your shoulders, taking your attention away from the trinkets above your desk.
"Hot chocolate today?" You asked quietly, standing up from your seat and taking the cup in your hands. "What made you change your mind?"
"It releases dopamine, you'll thank me later" He kissed the top of your head, making you sigh in delight.
Yone
Letting you in when his world was nothing but chaos was enough to show you he loved you dearly.
He had faced horrible creatures and devilish days for years straight, still, he let his guard down and allowed you to be part of his life when it was pure hell.
You caressed his hair with delicacy, soothing him after a day of battles.
"Can I hug you?" You asked quietly, your fingers now stroking his cheek.
"Please" He whispered against your lips, sighing heavily when you pulled him impossibly close, "You make me feel like I'm alive again" He muttered against your neck.
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mywritersmind · 1 day ago
Text
NOT SO HAPPY HOLIDAYS - LN4
↳pt.5
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christmas special
part one - part two - part three - part four
summary : As the days start getting closer to Christmas, you find yourself even more comfortable with your previous enemy. In a drunken spirit and ego boosted from karaoke, Lando can’t control his words. Even when Max finds you two in bed together.
og summary : Spending Christmas with my brothers best friend isn’t my ideal way to celebrate. With my parents in the maldives and my ex calling me non stop, I was hoping for a small town cozy christmas! I was going to get that with Max and his girlfriend until Lando Norris worked his way into the mix.
listen up : dual pov! alcohol! swearing! drunk lando!
words : 3334
⋆。‧˚⋆
“Lando. Listen to me.” Oscar says over the phone, his voice registering in my brain but being distinctly distracted by two women taking instagram photos next to me.
“I am listening.” I mumble, watching Y/n turn and smile at the camera. My phone vibrates in my hand and I see that Oscar has requested facetime instead.
“What?” I look at the man who’s sitting in the sun and probably at the beach, “Can you pay attention for two seconds? I don’t want to be talking about work either.”
I sigh, turning away from the girls, “Can I ask you something?” I walk farther away just in case they can hear me.
Oscar groans at me still being off topic, “Shoot.”
“How did you know Lily fancied you?”
His brow jolts up, “I mean, We were pretty young, I just remember that she spoke to me a lot and she-” Lily pops her head in the call now.
“Don't listen to him, Lando! He was absolutely oblivious even though I was literally a giggling school girl around him.”
Oscar looks at her lovingly, “You were quite smiley.”
“Okay wrap it up lovebirds.” I roll my eyes.
Lily leaves and Oscar looks at me quizzically again, “So, who do you like so much that would possess you to ask that question?” I stay quiet for a moment, glancing back at Y/n who’s backlit by the sun, “Aren’t you with your family? Or Max and his girlfriend right?”
“No one. I’m just curious.” Deny deny deny.
He hums, “Wait… Doesn't Max have that sister you stalked all year-”
“Okay bye Oscar!”
He scrambles to get words in, “Wait we still need to talk about-”
I hang up on him.
⋆༺
Max and I have been kicked out by our the women. More like I was kicked out and Max was just craving a coffee. It’s not my fault I can’t cook!
After almost catching Y/n’s hair on fire, I was banished to the little coffee shop that’s been getting us through this week.
The barista hands us our coffees and one hot chocolate for Y/n. Max and I walk slowly to our car, looking at the scenery on the way. “I’m excited for Christmas.”
I smile as Max hums, “You’re awfully chipper.” He gives me a side eye and a smirk, to which I promptly shove him, “Ugh! I do not want to know!”
He laughs, “I know that P teases you about it, But I really do think a girlfriend would be good for you.”
I don’t just want a girlfriend. I want Y/n. I kick a rock at my feet, mumbling, “Yeah I doubt that.” I meant that he wouldn’t want me to have a girlfriend if it was his sister, just he scoffs.
“Think about it! This year was completely fucked and yeah a lot of good shit happened but imagine how much easier the bad shit would be if you were in love.”
“You’re disgusting. Us ten years ago would be gagging at this conversation.”
He’s smiling still, “Yeah and that’s because I am in love.” I roll my eyes at his cheesy ass, “How do you have no roster, mate? It’s honestly embarrassing.”
“Maybe I do.” I sip my coffee, “I don’t have to tell you everything.”
“Maybe i’m just hanging out with Y/n and P too much, their best friend girly vibes are fun.” He points to me, “Still, it’s break! Get your groove on!”
I walk faster, shaking my head. “Groove? I’m going to leave you in the snow.”
⋆༺
you
I’m in a mini dress in the snow. What could go wrong?
I slip five minutes out the door which makes Lando’s arm become my new best friend even though my faux fur coat keeps tickling him.
We may or may not have pregamed for the tiny local bar which has me slipping on ice. “Four jolly jolly shots please…” Lando reads off the bar's menu, laughing a bit.
He looks good. Like really really good. His curls are perfect as usual and when he leans over to talk to the bartender, his dark green shirt tugs against his arms.
My brothers arm goes around my neck, tugging me and laughing, “Merry Christmas, sis!”
“Let go of me you vermin!”
“Shots!” P sings, handing me mine.
“Cheers to us!” Max grins, holding his tiny glass up.
“Cheers to Christmas.” P smiles happily.
Lando taps his glass on the table along with us, winking at me, “Cheers.” We all down the weird peppermint alcohol and swiftly make our way to the dance floor.
We sing along to shitty music and dance together in a crowd of college kids home for break, and their parents.
Lando’s hand finds my waist and is quickly slapped away. He gives me a pouty look which I find annoyingly attractive and quickly turns it into a smirk.
I down my drink, spinning back to my friends and dodging a guy and his friends. “Hey!” The guy smirks and I accidentally laugh in his face, he looks about five years younger than me and is staring at my chest.
I find my friends laughing and drinking with a random man who sort of looks like santa.
“Y/n!” Lando puts his arm around me which I promptly pull off.
“Aren’t you busy trying to hook up with a tourist?” I blink at him while my brother and P are distracted.
He leans in a bit, “You’re a tourist, aren’t you?”
“You trying to get in my pants, Norris?” This makes him smile.
“I’m familiar with the area.”
I find myself at the bar again, but this time I order water. P and I giggle at the sight of Max and Lando just standing there looking lost without us.
“I’m really proud of you.” P says out of the blue.
I frown, “Thanks? I’m proud of you too.”
“I just mean… you’ve been through a lot.” I know what she means. My ex. “And you’re the best person I know.”
I smile, “I adore you, P.”
The truth is, my ex cheating really did break me. But I already knew something was wrong. I wasn’t being treated correctly and honestly breaking up with him was not on the top of my to-do list.
P was always there for me, my brother is a lot to handle and sometimes I just need a girl to talk to. That girl for me is P.
She pops back to her boyfriend while my water gets refilled. I swear this altitude is fucking with me, i’m so thirsty all the time.
“Hi.” I'm about to yell at the college guy who approaches me, until I realize there is no way this man is under twenty five.
“Oh! Hi.” I smile politely and tap the bar.
I clock his douchy attitude as soon as his ringed hand (which definitely came from shein) and patchwork tattoos land on the bar, clearly flexing.
“You’re gorgeous… Sorry, I just had to tell you!” He acts shy, like it’s horribly embarrassing to hit on. woman.
“Thank you…” Is all I can say before he continues.
“I’m Seth!” He’s australian… I think? He’s got short hair with dark skin that makes his eyes pop. “Are you visiting? I am.”
I nod and sip my water, “Yeah…”
“My girlfriend used to live here! My friends let me choose the place and…” He’s going on a long rant that I definitely did not consent to hear.
He’s loud in the way that i’m embarrassed to be heard with because he’s talking nonsense and trying to scoot closer to me with every word he speaks.
I bring my glass to my lips again, looking around then back to Seth who is still talking about his ex. Did I do something to offend the universe?
The hand on my hip scares me, but I don’t jump. I know the feeling too well by now. Lando’s smiling at the bartender, a protective arm around me, “Three green tea shots, thanks.”
He leans his hip against the bar, holding me close as my cheeks go red and I start chugging my water. Seth looks absolutely astonished, “Who’s your new friend, Sunshine?”
“Seth.” I say, swirling my straw around the cold glass.
“Hey man…” Seth looks scared. “I- I didn’t know she was taken.”
“She’s not.” He’s quick with it and I have to bite back my smile to contain myself from embarrassing Seth even more.
“Oh…” Seth hums, clearly wanting to go but I know Lando’s doing that thing where he states blankly at someone while smiling. “Well uh…”
“Choose your words carefully, Seth.” Lando slides him the shot then hands one to me. I decline and he downs it easily.
“Thanks.” He downs the drink with Lando, “And sorry.” Seth looks at me before scurrying off.
I turn to Lando, his hand never moving from my body, “Who knew you were so intimidating?
He shrugs, “I don’t mess around with the people I care about. Plus he just seemed like he was bugging you.”
“Quite talkative.” I smile softly as he laughs, “You’re good at the whole protective act.”
“Who said I was acting?” His face is serious when he says it, but immediately changes when he hears Max’s voice.
“Yo!” His hand drops to his side and he smiles at my approaching brother, “They have karaoke!”
P and Max end up on stage exactly two drinks later. I stick to water, my head already hurts from the others singing.
They're singing Ain’t No Mountain High Enough, and sort of slaying it. Max spins P as they both laugh and pretend they’re at some sort of concert.
“Please get up there!” I giggle with Lando, my hand on his arm as he smiles at me in that dreamy way he does so often.
“No way, Sunshine.” His eyes lined on my lips, his words a bit slurred.
“Please, Lan?”
A smirk tugs at the corner of his lips, “What’ll you give me if I do?” My breathing quickens as he looks at me, drunk and so out of it that he looks like he’s about to kiss me.
I reach my arm out to fix the messy bit of his hair. His eyes follow my hand and drift down my arm back to me. There’s something so personal about the way he looks at me but it’s hard to explain.
He’s got many different expressions and maybe I'm just a bit self centered, but I swear he has some just for me.
He’s drunk now so all secrecy goes out the window. He’s lucky Max and P are singing so horribly on the tiny sticky stage.
“Whatever you want.” I pull my hand away, “When you’re sober, though.”
“I’m not even that many drinks in!” He scoffs in a whiny tone.
He’s five drinks in I think.
“But i’ll do whatever you say apparently.” His chair makes noise against the floors, practically pushing P and Max off the stage as his chosen music starts.
Linger, by the cranberries.
My smile grows as he starts, absolutely butchering the song immediately. He looks fucking free and absolutely ridiculous.
The microphone against his lips as he spins around and points to me, “You’ve got me wrapped around your fingerrrrrr!”
It was my favorite song in highschool.
He’s a terrible singer and incredibly drunk but knows all the lyrics by heart.
Max starts videoing and Lando flips him off, P is actually in tears and I feel a sense of calm and quiet happiness. It’s weird to think about, especially surrounded by sound and drunken people.
Still, I really do appreciate my friends in moments like these. I watch Lando on the stage again, his eyes are closed and he’s singing along quietly.
Most of the bar claps when he’s done, providing him false confidence even as he almost falls from the stage.
Lando slumps himself in the chair next to mine, Max and I speaking about old Christmas’ and how weird it is that so many things have changed.
P talks about her family traditions and how she’s happy we’re all together even if it is a bit unconventional.
Lando stays quiet, just hums along to the music and keeps his eyes closed. Max laughs at his friend, “Ready for bed, Bob?”
“I can drive back.” I sit up.
Max and P aren’t quite ready to go and assure me that they can take a cab. Lando, however is piss drunk and giggling at everything I say.
He holds onto my hand as we leave, the cold air hitting him like a wreck, “Ay!” He practically runs to the car, tries to get in the driver's seat, and finally gives in to me driving.
“I don't want to go back!” He complains as I drive off.
“We can… look at lights?” He nods eagerly and rests his head against my arm, his fingers drift up and down my arm, doodling invisible drawings.
I drive through the small neighborhoods, all quiet for the time of night. The lights are bright and nothing like where I actually live.
Lando slips his hand in mine, holding it tight and looking out the front window. I let him rub his thumb against my skin, acknowledging the goosebumps it sends up arm.
Maybe I let myself pretend like it means something more than Lando’s drunk touchy self.
His curls brush my bare arm because he requested I take off my coat and turn the heat up instead because it was ‘itching him’.
And I did it because something about Lando makes me just want to say yes.
“I wanna house like that.” He says, pointing to a medium sized white home. It’s got colorful lights all over and a tiny display of Rudolph in the yard.
“I like this one.” I take my free hand off the wheel for a second and point. It’s across the street and covered in white lights.
I keep driving as Lando turns the radio on which is playing Christmas music.
He hums along with the song that he most definitely doesn’t know.
His hand goes to my hair, twirling it around his finger as he looks up at me, doe eyed, “Can I have my reward now.”
“You’re nowhere close to being sober, love.”
He stops when I speak, whispering as if there’s a million people around, “You called me love.”
“You’re not even gonna remember this tomorrow.”
He gasps, “Tomorrow's Christmas eve! What a good present. You love me.” He hums and rests his head back against my shoulder.
“Keep dreaming, Norris.” I say while smiling.
We look at all the different lights, rating them and laughing. I mostly laugh at drunk Lando who can’t stop laughing.
Lando rolls down the window and even though it’s freezing, I let him. It’s silent out, except for our music on low.
“Do you like me?” Lando asks as I start back to our place.
I raise a brow, “Sure.”
“But do you?” He looks up at me but I don’t dare look down.
“I don’t hate you.”
It’s easier to get him into the house than it was to get him in the car. Besides a tiny slip, he laughs it off and instantly pulls his shirt off when we step inside the hot house.
We both stumble upstairs, I'm so tired that I could fall asleep on the floor. Yet I drag myself into the bathroom and remove my makeup and change into sweats and a hoodie.
Lando is in sweats now, leaning against the bathroom door as I brush my hair. “I can’t sleep.”
I laugh, “You haven’t even tried.”
“Come with me?” I shake my head, going to my own bed. He follows me still, catching my wrist and begging, “Please. I’m cold.”
“You have no shirt on.”
“I want you to.” He admits and for a second I wish he wasn’t so fond of Vodka.
I’m dragged into his bed, his arms wrapping around me quickly and humming against my hoodie, “You’re warm.” His hand goes to mine again, holding it.
“You’re gonna get us in trouble.” I say as I see the smirk on his face.
“The doors locked.”
His hand is still intertwined with mine when he looks up at me. I probably look terrible, but he just smiles.
“You’re really beautiful, Sunny.” His voice is clear and the softest it’s been in a while, especially while drunk.
He yawns and rests his head back on me. Lando whispers while his eyes are closed, i’m not even sure if he meant to say it out loud, but he does. “I hate you for it.”
It’s the first time his words really hit me.
“Why?” I whisper, staring up at the ceiling.
“You know.” And then he’s asleep and i’m stuck with a man cuddling me who I think I just might like more than I ever thought I could.
⋆༺
There’s few times in my life where I completely regret my life’s decisions. This might just be one of them.
Max is staring at us with his mouth open.
Max is staring at Lando’s shirtless self and his bare arm that’s around me!
I elbow Lando so hard that he wakes up with a groan. “Five more minutes.” He tries to pull me closer but I slap him again.
He opens his eyes this time, at first they’re narrowed at me as if I had the audacity to wake him up. Then he turns his head to what i’m staring at and promptly sits up straight.
“Goodmorning, Max!” He grins.
“Shut the fuck up.” My brother responds, Lando’s face goes slack and lays back down, covering his face with a pillow, “Is this why you two wanted to leave early yesterday?”
“No!” I say right as Lando says, “Yes!”
“I think I'm going to throw up.” Max starts pacing while I see P peek her head in from my room, surveying the situation as I mouth ‘help me’ and he leaves me.
“Chill out! Nothing happened.” I say while Lando moans and reaches for the water on his bedside table. “Right, Lando!?” I hit him again.
He sends me an annoyed look, “Right.” He takes a drink, wiping his mouth and looking at Max, “Trust me mate if something did happen she wouldn’t be wearing anything.”
I think he might still be drunk.
Max and I scream in unison. I climb out of the bed, my leg getting stuck in the bedsheet.
“I came to check if you two were still alive because it’s eleven in the morning, but Lando’s door was locked. Yours wasn’t and your room connector was wide open!” I roll my eyes and stomp into my room.
“His drunk ass practically dragged me in there and I wanted to sleep!” I shrug, putting on my slippers and pulling my bed head hair into a messy bun.
“My head is pounding, can you two be quiet!?” Lando says from the other room.
Max follows me down the stairs, “Nothing happened?”
“Nothing happened!” I echo, finding P in the kitchen and sending her a wide eyed look, “He was drunk, Max.”
I pour myself some coffee, crossing my arms as Max gives me a look. Lando comes thumping down the stairs, hoodie on now with his hair an absolute mess. “Guys…”
Max stops him, “If you make another sex joke Lan, I might kill you.”
“Hey!” He groans, taking my coffee from out of my hands and drinking it! I roll my eyes and pour myself another. “I was just going to say-”
“Choose your words very carefully, Norris.” I mumble.
“Happy Christmas Eve.” He raises his mug, smiling at all of us.
“Oh.” Max blinks as P lets out a little snort.
“Well then…” P smiles at me, “I think it’s time to cook!”
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