#this is really only half-formed

[picnokinesis]

Thoughts on Different Types of Representation in Doctor Who (and how fandom responds to it)

So I watched Rogue last night and - okay first, oh my days, absolutely ADORED it, this is definitely my favourite episode of this season, it was just so much FUN and it hooked me right from the start. And then the queerness! I was actually thinking to myself whilst watching it how wonderful it was because it felt like a queer story in a way that wasn't like, showboating about how progressive it was? [editorial aside: this is not comparing it to anything in particular, just a general observation]. The characters were just queer, within this wild and wonderful sci-fi story, but also their queerness wasn't the Only Character Trait they had and their story didn't resolve around their queerness, but their queerness was crucial to the plot in a way that was just lovely to see - and as a writer myself, it's personally the way I love to see our stories being told.

But then I made the mistake of going into the tag - always a foolish thing to do, because for some reason everyone loves to praise this era by criticising the previous era (as if it hasn't been criticised enough...like we know most of y'all hate Chris Chibnall for committing no worse crimes than Moffat and RTD before him...we know). And I found a couple of folks talking about how this episode alone did more for queer representation than the entirety of thirteen's era, whiiiiich at first really Peeved Me Off - like didn't these people understand how important Yaz's arc (especially Eve of the Daleks) was to a LOT of people? But then I was like 'well actually this is interesting', right? Because I think there's two very different kinds of representation going on here - and they're both very important in different ways, but one tends to get lauded as brilliant rep and one always gets put down as not good enough, or even bad rep. And what's the main difference? Whether the characters have a gay kiss or not.

So I just thought I'd share some of my thoughts and feelings on this, and why I think both these kinds of rep are equally important! To be clear from the get-go though - this is definitely not me ragging on anyone who likes more about one than the other (in fact, I think everyone likes one more than the other). This is merely a personal essay about it and the frustrations that comes when people in general do lift one up over the other. I'm gonna put it under the cut though, because it might get a bit long!

So, back when Eve of the Daleks aired, I remember having a lot of conversations about the representation in that episode - in particular with a very good friend of mine, who is a lesbian. And we realised that when it came to rep, we both actually wanted pretty different things. I'm aroace and genderfluid, and so a lot of what I saw in how thirteen was written - especially in terms of her gender (or lack thereof), and also her apparent lack of attraction (at least, in how I read it) was just incredibly affirming to me. I've never EVER seen a character on screen that I could see myself in both in terms of sexuality and gender. Whereas my friend saw things quite differently - thirteen was a lesbian, and they wanted to see that kiss between these two characters, because for them too, it was so rare to see that, and, in their words, they wanted to have their cake and eat it too. And we both realised that the reason that queer representation can feel so intense and important is, simply, because there isn't enough of it. We're all desperately reaching for the same small portion - and none of it is ever going to please everyone, or resonate with everyone. The stakes are too high.

So then, when there wasn't this dramatic romantic ending to Yaz's story, when there was no queer kiss, I was very sad for my friend, who didn't get that representation, but so painfully relieved for myself - because I got mine. So then it sucked a lot to see a lot of people getting really angry that this wasn't queer representation, that this was even homophobic - I even had someone tell me that aromantic representation in this regard was always going to be homophobic, because no-one would ever write it to be aro rep, and would instead only ever write it to avoid writing a gay kiss. And the thing that got me the most was that, REGARDLESS of whether they kissed or not, regardless of how you read either of the characters, there was one thing that was certain:

Yaz was queer. In text. Her emotional plotline centred around her realising that she was attracted to the Doctor (who was presenting as a woman - although, again, I don't think she really identified as such). The fact that she and the Doctor didn't get together by the end does not erase that fact.

They didn't kiss - but so what? Are queer people only queer when they're kissing someone of the same gender, or having gay sex? Are queer people not queer in their day to day lives, when they're not doing any of those things? Are queer people not queer when they're not dating? Are queer people not queer when they're trans, when they're ace, when they're aro, when their queerness doesn't resolve around attraction to the same gender?

And, to be honest, I think a lot of my feelings around this stem from the sort of exclusionist rhetoric that we saw a LOT of towards the ace/aro community back in 2012 that we still see now, that we're seeing towards the trans community now, that we're still seeing towards bi people, for pete's sake. It's this in-community infighting, pushing each other down to try and get up to the top, to keep all the "resources" for "the people who really need it", and it causes a serious amount of harm - but the truth is (and to bring this back to doctor who) that it all comes back to what me and my friend were discussing. We're all scared, all desperate to be seen - and when we are seen, it's the most incredible experience and the idea of losing that (or having someone else undermine it) feels inexpressibly awful. Having the thirteenth doctor...I suddenly realised this is what all the straight cis white dudes get all the time. She was like me, and that was indescribable. And then losing her - and having RTD not even be able to have a man wear her clothes because he was too worried about what the tabloids would say to be able to show a gnc person on tv...and then constantly described her as The Woman Doctor for the next entire episode - that hurt. A lot.

I've spoken to other friends who felt so seen in the character of Yaz - those people who realised they were queer later in life, those who fall in love with people and it doesn't end up going anywhere, those who don't get the whirlwind queer romances that people often call 'good representation'. Myself and many of my aspec friends have felt so seen in thirteen's almost entirely romance-less arc, and myself and my trans/genderqueer friends felt very seen in the way that thirteen's character would have been exactly the same if she'd been a man - the only difference was how the other characters around her interacted with her. Gender was something that happened to her. And when I watch episodes like Rogue, even though I don't relate to that representation, I just feel overwhelmed with joy because I know how important it will be to others that I care about. I think my sadness then comes from the fact that the way Thirteen and Yaz were written are just as important to me and many people that I know, but because they didn't kiss, it's not considered queer enough. Am I not queer enough, then? Are my friends not queer enough?

We need more episodes like Rogue, like The Parting of Ways, like Praxeus, like The Doctor Falls, because they are unquestionably and unapologetically queer, in a way that can't be avoided. We also need more episodes like Eve of the Daleks, like The Haunting of the Villa Diodati, like the rest of thirteen's era where the representation is an undercurrent throughout the whole story - but also undeniable, in a way that Yaz's story arc is, even if it doesn't end in a kiss, even if it doesn't end neatly and happily. Personally, I definitely would love to see more stories focused on aromanticism and on transness (especially ones that are written by trans people for trans people, rather than by cis people for cis people), but that's probably going to be down to people like me and other writers that I know actually getting into the script writing industry - and that depends on the people who are already there letting us in. One thing that I've always appreciated about Chibnall is that, after leaving Doctor Who, he began a programme for training up new showrunners with ITV, because: "showrunners are the gatekeepers and too many of the gatekeepers look like me."

Anyway, I probably have more thoughts that I've forgotten, but that's generally the gist of it. I think the more we fight over whether rep is 'good' or 'bad', relating to whether we see ourselves in it or not (rather than 'is this genuinely harmful or unhelpful', which I think is a more crucial question) the more the waters get muddied. We have different needs and wants, and no single episode is going to represent every facet of our community. But each episode, each story like this is a step in the right direction - and even rep that isn't perfect (I have thoughts about The Star Beast, for example) is still extremely positive and important, and definitely something that should be celebrated, even as we keep looking to the future for what we would like to see done differently, done better. And some day, I hope, there'll be so much queer rep, it'll be so normal, that those stakes won't feel so high anymore. It won't feel like everything hangs on how a certain show or storyline or episode is written. We'll all be seen. And that will be absolutely fantastic.

[goldengirlgalaxy]

You know how there's a whole thing about how DC superheroes die and get brought back a lot? Well, for DPxDC, how about this?

Every time a Justice League member gets resurrected, their ghost remains in the Ghost Zone.

So you'll have a member of the Justice League bite the bullet for whatever reason, they'll form as a ghost in the Ghost Zone. They'll make themselves comfortable, maybe they'll even becoming defenders of peaceful ghosts who have no experience fighting or no desire to fight. Maybe they'll find dead family members and re-establish their bonds. Maybe they'll find other dead members of the Justice League and make and undead branch of the Justice League. Maybe they'll meet Danny and either help teach him how to be a hero (if he's still young) or become a hero group supported by him (if he becomes the king).

And then, for whatever reason, someone found the magical amulet that can revive a person, they somehow developed 1-Ups for a limited time, the revival machine finally got a tune up, the hero gets revived. But the ghost doesn't leave the Ghost Zone. Because of this, the revived hero doesn't have any memories of their time in the afterlife. The ghost probably doesn't even notice something changed and that their old body is up and running again.

This all ends up coming to a head when the GIW decide to push the manhunt for Danny Phantom and all other ghosts, lying to the Justice League in order to convince them to help. They eventually decide to hunt down Danny and corner him, ready to capture him...

… And suddenly he's saved by a bunch of ghosts that look identical to them.

[mispelled]

Ty I am saying it! He's also half demon . I present to you Hermie's full natural form

[kirisclangen]

Larchpaw

She/her, 8 moons, cis molly

[pochapal]

this study scene is actually a fantasy illusion by beatrice to get the reader to hate every member of the family so much that they will not be as upset when she kills them all.

[suusoh]

Giggling over the idea of referring to Johan as your “boyfriend” cause calling him that sounds absolutely insane idk. Like if he ever got into a relationship with darling they’re not gonna jump straight to marriage (despite what he might want) so like what else is there, but also it’s HILARIOUS referring to him as your boyfriend idk why it cracks me up i just can’t begin to imagine it

a part of him feels pleased because it's one step to being closer or something, but another part of him lowkey feels disappointed because he thinks that term does not even come close to sufficiently describing what he is to you. (Or at least what he is to you in his head.)

I actually have this scenario where his slight nihilism doesn't care what label you put on him. Labels are just smaller categorizations people use to help them breakdown or understand things anyway. And sometimes labels can be very limiting. So if calling him your "boyfriend" helps you then fine..... just know that he's already ruminating on the different ways he could safely and surgically engrave your name into his bones.

[sysig]

The most fun you can have, barring the pain and torture (Patreon)

[rorykillmore]

12 years ago i quit school thinking i would never be capable of going back and that was a very painful failure for a long time. today i graduated with my master's degree :) it feels good.

[uncharted-constellations]

If 616 marvel canon were to bring back Ultimate Jessica Drew (Peter Parker’s female clone from 1610) how do you think they should do it? Because Jess herself was assumedly wiped out during the incursion, and while its possible she escaped doing spider-verse shenanigans or came back when that universe rebooted, theres been no indication of her existence in like 8 years outside of ATSV concept art.

Option 1 is that she’s just been traveling the spider-verse, and upon finding her reality rebooted tracks down Miles. Problem with this one is that Miles doesn’t seem to Remember that he’s from another dimension for the most part other than a few flashbacks, but that could be a fun arc on its own, considering they haven’t really brought it up much yet and that could be a way to continue it. Might be a bit bogged down for newer readers who haven’t read ultimate verse however, but you get to keep character development this way.

Option 2 is getting cloned anew, potentially by Doc Ock experimenting with creating another superior body for himself so you can keep that original origin. This gives her a more clean background that doesn’t require reading back into ultimates and you could maybe play around with her having some of Docs memories. Unsure of if she would have any of Peter’s memories or not, or exactly how much she’d have. Obviously Ben and Kaine only currently have limited memories up to Peter’s early college years but Doc had access to many more of his memories.

Option 3 which is more of a nod to, but have her instead be a female clone of Miles, either made by the Assessor like his other clones or by Roxxon after one of their many scuffles with the Champions. It would be more of reference to the old character and her mentor-mentee relationship with miles, but you could flip it around a bit and have it be something new. They could also take some design aspects of the currently popular ATSV Jess, like the bike, the jacket, the glasses. (It sounds weird but they did retcon in the SLJ Nick Fury by making him the old Nick Fury’s secret son so like, i could see them doing it)

[strawberryghostlight]

Saw a Chanukah advent calendar at the store. where they weren't even selling candles. To be clear I'm not upset at Jews making Jewish parodies of christmas stuff, but when every corporate perception of Chanukah is basically just christmas recoloured to look like the Israeli flag that's when we have a problem.

[possamble]

Question to a fanfic writer: do you think that, in Marcille’s research ways *And* her love for romance novels… would result in her writing some in-universe fanfics of her own? Like, maybe she hypes herself up on something and get disappointed, or maybe she finds some character decision isn’t as ideal as she thinks it could be? Or it’s as simple as she wants to play around with the characters and see what happens?

I can’t help but imagine a scenario where she’s struggling with some romantic trouble irl and she’s struggling with deciding on what to do, but then the answer slaps itself upside her head when she rediscovers her fanfics and how she LITERALLY made a character or two do the exact romantic decision she needs to do? It would so silly but yet I can’t help but find it so charming. Hell, just the imagery of her writing romance fanfics of her own At All is just… delightful to me hehehe.

you know I've been rotating this in my head since I saw it this morning and. I went through a wild journey of opinions before I realized... Marcille wouldn't think about fanfiction like we think about it. In the modern age, yeah, she'd be a complete tumblrina -- but we're talking about a 17th century-ish fantasy setting.

Writing before the digital age was a physical commitment to investing ink and paper into your thoughts -- and this is even before mass production can make pens and notebooks kind of whatever to buy and use on a regular basis. I'm sure the situation wasn't dire, but I really can't see Marcille, perfect honor student, using her allotted supply of stationery at the academy on super frivolous things.

Fanfiction has been normalized incredibly fast in the past few decades. Think about now normal and popular D&D is nowadays compared to how much people looked down on it 20-30 years ago. Fanfiction was a freakass nerd thing to do until relatively recent history, something that was even considered offensive to the original creators.

Remember, we've already seen Marcille react to adaptations with disgust. She's kind of a hater and an elitist fan. She also considers herself a Reputable Academic. In a setting where a digitized culture hasn't reframed fanfiction as an act of appreciation and creativity, she would absoluuuuuuuutely think that fanfiction was complete loser shit.

If she did write anything about her favourite books... She'd. She'd be one of those assholes who writes huge scathing reviews of Dal Clan translations into Common. She'd be the fantasy equivalent of those Weebs/Japanese elitists on twitter tearing through every single localization choice in anime and JRPGs and being so so annoying about it.

If we're being charitable, we could say she'd be able to appreciate non-faithful translation choices that still do a good job of carrying over the original spirit of what was said. But I think we also have to acknowledge the possibility that, at her worst, she'd really really be like those guys who were malding about the Unicorn Overlord localizations so hard the (correction: Final Fantasy Tactics Creator, not the Unicorn Overlord devs) had to step forward and ratio them. (The silver lining is that she'd never get published in the arts review newspapers/journals that she submits her essays to. those poor editors just have to deal with her being persistent.)

[no1ryomafan]

**Fic related, scroll past if you don’t care or don’t want spoilers!**

In another not so shocking ramble about me thinking about my own au where a cosmic horror is just chilling in ryomas body, Eagle was unintentional in many ways but I think what I still think about is how it can be interpreted as Ryoma being a system.

I’m not one myself and the concept is still new to me-I only ever knew about DID thanks to Pat from starforce but even with how accurate he is, he only scratched the surface-so until I have someone who is a system read my fic I can’t have a full perspective, but I think even despite the fact Eagle being fused into Ryoma, there is still some metaphorical system parallels to be made.

How Ryoma has clear amnesia barriers, how Eagle was in a sense formed out of his trauma, how what happened to Ryoma to begin with would reasonably cause someone to split into two people to cope, how Eagle arguably has the role of a “protector” and took over Ryomas body when he felt unsafe, how they meet in his “inner world” when Ryoma finally realizes Eagle is in him. Even Kyodai who I leave up to interpretation of being the real deal or not, if going off he’s just apart of Ryomas mind, then he would be another headmate who is mostly is “dormant”, meaning he’s inactive.

I’m really proud with myself that despite my system friends not reading this fic or really being invested in Getter, I could still point to something as a frame of reference I wrote for people to understand the concept a bit better.

[fraseris]

dash has been unreadable since biden dropped out

[mantisgodsdomain]

Sometimes we are deeply deeply tempted to make line-ups of our AU Versions Of Characters or something of the like, but then we remember our consistent preference for AUs to be canon-adjacent at absolute minimum meaning a lot of them will look relatively same-y combined with our struggle to draw character sizes accurately to each other makes that task a lot harder than it arguably should be.

[toastsnaffler]

anyway yeah relevant to that post abt being deaf/hoh and ppl excluding u from conversation bc of it (even unintentionally), that's smth that's been really deeply bothering me lately bc there are a few ppl I routinely have to deal with who do it a lot and it Pisses Me The Fuck Off I've lost all patience w them. giving up and calling it ableism and walking out idc anymore 🚶‍♂️

[front-facing-pokemon]