#this is probably the only thing i'll post for a while
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The Tape
Reader and Conner’s sex tape gets leaked…
Based on this…
Warning: Fem!Reader, NSFW themes, no actual smut, pure crack nonsense, fake Twitter post
A/N: @fanfictionlover277353 Heard you wanted some more! Here’s some of my nonsense!
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
"Come on, Babs. Please. I'm begging. Just for a few hours. Two tops." Dick's whining could be heard through out the entire cave. The vibrato of his voice echoing off the rocky walls and stalagmites as he leaned over Barbara's shoulder and played with her hair.
She was currently sitting at the Bat Computer, looking over anything related to the family or incidents in Gotham with strained eyes and an exasperated look on her face.
"I told you, I'm busy-"
"You need a break." Dick interrupted, playing the hypocrite with a grin. "Come on, two hours. We'll watch a movie, you can even pick. No sappy Rom-coms, anything you want. All your choice." He wiggled his eyebrows at her.
Admittedly, Barbara was tempted, but she let out an indulgent sigh.
"Fine. I'll set up notifications to alert me if anything that needs to get scrub gets posted." She quickly type out a few things on to the computer, having it connected to her phone before Dick whisked her off with way too much excitement.
It was a simple notification system. One that would alert her if anyone's vigilantes identities were mentioned in the media. Unfortunately, it wasn't set up to alert her if anyone's civilian identities were mentioned. That included the family's only civilian member as well.
And, a lot can happen in two hours with the power of the internet and a very interesting topic.
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
You were having a good day. A very nice day. You had gone out into the world, enjoying the sights and sounds of a mid-morning Gotham. Ignoring the wailing sirens in the distance, by now you had grown used to it.
Dick, Babs, and Alfred where in the manor doing either Bat stuff or sleeping. Damian was visiting Jon. Duke was on patrol. Cass was at dance practice. Bruce was at the Watchtower. Tim was at the Wayne office. Stephanie was your chaperone (stalker) of the day. And, Jason was fuck who knows where.
A peaceful, calm day.
Until you got a Twitter notification and you realized...
"Oh, that's not good. That is really not good." You mutter, watching as the internet burns while you drink your coffee. Not like you could do much else. You still sent a quick text to Conner, just to prepare him while you mentally packed.
You warned him when he suggested filming the two of you making love in the Wayne manor parlor right in front of the fireplace.
You had suggested you’d both go to the mountains and fuck in the wild, but he just had to be kinky and want to do it in the manor. Better lighting he said.
If it wasn’t for the fact that it had been your anniversary and he had pulled out all the stops, you would’ve said no. (It doesn’t matter that he had you literally crying from the pleasure when the two of you had finally finished filming. Nope. Not at all.)
However, that mountain sex might still be on the table. You didn't want to be around when the rest of the family saw that video, so a remote location in the mountains sounded like a decent idea. You’d been wanting to runaway from the manor for a while anyway.
“Hey, Steph, hand me your phone real quick…” Best to probably by yourself some time.
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
Conner had a tendency to mute his notification on all his socials. Not that he didn't look at what people tagged him in or mentioned him in. He just find it easier to manage.
So when he got a text from you saying to check Twitter, he was a bit puzzled. But, he figured you had seen him tagged in something funny and wanted him to see it too.
Only for the record in his head to scratch when he realized what he had been tagged in.
"SHIT! Shit, shit, shit, shit." Could he get off planet fast enough? This was bad. Not the video. That was good. He may have thrown extra fuel on the fire by liking it and retweeting it on to his official account, but, damn it, was he proud of that. Probably shouldn’t have hired that rando to edit it for him though.
But, yeah, he was about to possibly be the only man ever murdered in cold blood by Batman. It was one thing to fuck his civilian daughter, but filming it in the man’s own home? Yeah, the kryptonite was definitely coming out and getting stabbed into his skull.
"JON! Distract Damian!" Conner yelled out before taking off, knowing that Jon's super hearing would pick up it up. Best get to Gotham and grab you before Batman came after his ass.
There was a nice planet a few solar systems over that you two could have some fun on. Maybe if he was lucky, you could visit that spot in front of the fireplace on last time. He doubted the two of you would get another chance to do it there again.
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
Jason had actually been at Roy’s that day, having finished some Outlaw business from the night before. Only to be interrupted when Roy suddenly choked on his drink and sprayed it all over him from across the table. Soaking Jason and the papers on said table.
“What the fuck?” He muttered in disgust whipping the dripping liquid off him.
Roy, however, was still choking. Wheezing as he clutched his phone like it was the most precious thing in existence.
��Nothing! Nothing!” Instantly, Roy was trying to back the video up the Cloud and his back up phone. He’s paid for porn with less quality than this and he was not wasting this opportunity before it was scrubbed from the internet.
“Let me see that.” Jason pushed the table and slammed it into Roy’s gut, causing the phone to clatter on to it. A video silently playing on the screen.
A video of two people in a fancy parlor. Doing very intimate things.
Two people Jason knew. In a fancy parlor that Jason knew.
A parlor that Jason had literally sat in three days ago watching the fire in the exact same fireplace.
“Did you fucking save this, asshole?”
“Dude, that is ART!”
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
Back in the BatCave Alfred had come down to tidy up after resting a bit only to look at the screen in horror. Despite his many skills, socially media escaped him at times.
However he did manage to learn one thing…
“That was what was on my bloody carpet?!”
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
Tim had been in his office, going over a couple charts when his secretary burst into the room. Stumbling and falling on the floor panting. One of her heels broken.
Normally she was a serious and composed woman, not tolerating any nonsense from him. So this behavior was unexpected and worrisome.
Tim rushed to stand up at help her when she suddenly blurted out, “Leaked sex tape!”
That made him panic. Before confusion hit him.
“Wait, did I film on of those? I don’t remember filming one of those-“
“Your sister! Superboy! PR is going fucking nuts and getting calls. Share prices are fucking increasing because of this!”
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The Justice League Watchtower was in a meeting. Quite a long one judging by the way most of it’s members sitting around the table seemed to be drifting off or subtly scrolling their phones.
Oliver Queen, Green Arrow was one of those people scrolling. Checking over twitter, catching up on the latest gossip. Only to nearly fucking scream in the middle of the meeting when he realized what Superboy had shared on his official account.
Forget man of steel, the kid has damn balls of steel.
Worst yet, the video had been posted for over an hour. A full hour. Almost two. There was no way that was going to be getting scrubbed and forgotten. He’d bet it was in a military archive already with a team of scientist documenting the half-Kryptonian’s dick size right now.
It was an impressively long video. One that Oliver was sorely tempted to watch. But, he didn’t because he knew Batman would actually rearrange his face if he did. Like fist and plastic surgery rearrange it.
So, when he heard Batman’s voice ring out in the meeting, he broke his phone in half to hide the evidence of his discovery.
Only, Batman hadn’t been calling for his attention. He was calling for Booster Gold’s.
“Booster, focus on the meeting. Put that away—“
It was amusing to see Booster get caught with his phone out watching him scramble to shut it off in a panic. Only for it to fall to the ground.
And, the sound to turn on at full volume.
Moans to fill the silent void of the room.
Oliver could only look on in horror when he realized just what Booster had been watching, during a Justice League meeting, and across the table from Batman himself.
“Conner, please, p-please, stop teasing.”
“No, I don’t think I will. You look so pretty like this. All nice and—“
No one moved. Not as they watched Batman literally work through every emotion under that cowl of his and Superman’s face went as white as it possibly could, anguish washing over both their faces when they realized who was in the video booster was watching.
Diana was the only one that stood up and moved to pick up the phone. Everyone held their breaths when she slowly looked down at the screen.
“Quite impressive. You both must be proud.” She said with a slight hum.
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
A/N: I apologize so much for this, but I just was cackling the entire time I came up with this and wrote it. Forgive me y’all! 🙏🏻
A/N: All the Twitter stuff was randomly generated and picked! I’m not good with it, but I added it for giggles!
#yandere batfam#yandere batfamily#batfam x reader#batfamily x reader#yandere dc#yandere batfam x reader#yandere batfamily x reader#anon ask#batfam#batfamily#yandere conner kent x reader#conner kent x reader#yandere conner kent#conner kent#the tape
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LC - YINGDU EP1 SPOILERS, TW - blood, death scenes
Yeah I logged in just for LC to sum up things in my DMs with Forest (love u), mostly about dives.
Still have too many ideas about how mechanics actually work, as well as abilities transmigration, so I'll focus on differences of dives and some things from previous seasons.
Scene with Vein.
In my understanding, the opening scene already includes 2 different developments of events.
1, where CXS, after being wounded, was led by LG into the room, while Vein went to pick up the gun. We see bloody footprints, traces on the table, but that's all.
2, where Wayne is already standing at the closed door, clearly shows other events - a chair, other objects scattered on the floor, according to the blood prints, the body seemed to have been dragged + there are no prints on the tabletop.
What is also interesting is that the background is slightly different in both scenes, if you pay attention to the shelves on the left.
There is a difference in the photos too - the first version shows only a crack, the second - a broken glass.
For me, the conclusion is that already here we see 2 different timelines.
Lu Guang's injury
In the first option, although Vein shoots at the door, he misses (time ~ 23:11), Lu Guang closes the door and is not injured
So , missing scene
We don't know what happened for about an hour. In the second version (cause it has stains on the floor, overturned things), the blood on the photo already speaks of the not shown scene. I doubt that Vein simply changed his mind and left, so Lu Guang had to "deal with" him.
At this point, he himself is deeply wounded, but the most important thing is that in these shots we are shown his yellow eyes - this is already a dive in a dive, some kind of repetition of the events.
s2ep12
At the same time, this drive is different from the drive that was shown in the second season.
The blood pattern on his clothes is similar, but even if we exclude the fact that he doesn't look out of breath/in pain, there are other details.
- blood stains on his face - furnishings, of objects on the table - blood on hands (by the way, in the scene with Vein, when he raised his hands in front of him, both of his hands were covered in blood)
Lu Guang's watch
For us as viewers, the watch on his right hand is a familiar part of the design, he wears it on his right hand in both s1 and s2
So, after diving, the first thing he tries to do is check the time, and looks at his right hand.
We still don't know the origin of his watch, since he didn't wear them in almost all the flashbacks. Except for the new one, where the watch is on his left hand.
Thus, Yingdu gives us a new diving point - April 12th (in addition to the dives on September 13).
Maybe the time of this dive will correlate with the time indicated in s2 (but with which there were no associated events)
Except for the poster, the watch on Lu Guang's left hand appeared in the flashback of CXS's death in s2, which probably separates this variant of his death from the ones shown in the scene with Vein, and perhaps the difference can give us insight into the timeline's chronologies later on.
September and April
To be honest, this whole thing makes me very excited, because of the existence of the old theory about the broken time in April and September - I wrote about it in detail a year ago in that post
Emma, April-September and chronology
For me, this means that circumstances of the case, who the unknown victim was, although they have faded into the background now, will still be a key.
Pretty sure this has all been discussed, but thanks for reading. Let's all… have fun with the new season ~
#link click#shiguang dailiren#yingdu spoilers#link click yingdu#link click spoilers#I have a feeling that I myself have returned to the past
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I somehow only Just noticed how Lucifer's wings move when he laughs in Surprise Guest interactions and I'm. Kind of obsessed? Like that's inexplicably adorable what
I've been due for some wings brainrot for a while now, hoping this one sticks around for a while afhsfjsf the tails got more than their fair share of my attention i Need to be spinning the concept of wings around in my brain at all times for the next three months At Least--
(Bonus hc infodump in the tags bc I have minimal self restraint)
#obey me#obey me headcanons#<- all in the tags💀#obey me nightbringer#obey me lucifer#lucifer#how have i not fully processed this big scary* demon having big fluffy probably emotionally reactive wings#his feathers probably fluff up when he's content and comfy#he 100% uses them to make himself seem even bigger and more threatening when he feels like he needs to#which now has lost its threatening capabilities to me bc he's just doing Bird Things xfjjgxgx#he's threatening enough on his own adding the bird tactics on top just loops back around to Little Guy territory somehow--#anyways wings good#they probably make nice sounds when they move and the feathers brush against each other and they're probably really soft in some places and#he'd probably start purring if you pet them (while you're alone ofc lol) especially the places closer to his back#or wherever else he might struggle to reach himself#I'm gonna be so real tho i think doing anything that could qualify as preening to Any of the former/current angels would get to them a bit-#Lucifer would be more subject to returning the favor tho (subconsciously or intentionally. probably both at different times lmao)#the instinct/cultural association with it has died down a bit in the rest of the brothers (at least conciously)#bc it did mostly just apply to helping other angels they were close with with their wings specifically#so lucifer being the only one with feathers would've probably had that habit/association stay more ingraned than it did for the rest of them#bc he'd be reminded of it all the time#ok i should make an actual post about this at some point i think instead of dumping it in the tags bc jfc-#bc im about to start spiraling into how the brothers adapted to their new bodies and being so out of their own culture when they fell#and etc etc#and I'll yap for Years and also maybe cry a lil--#tldr Preening As A Sign Of Affection (mutual) and it effects Lucifer the most for several reasons#personal headcanons
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The ot2 travelers don't feel like a found family as much as the ot1 travelers - an analysis
This is probably the boldest opinion I've ever shared on socials for this fandom and I am aware this take will probably get me some hate but I feel like I want to say this and compare the two games under this aspect also to know other people's opinions about this (I feel so brave right now) but I have to make a premise: I loved octopath traveler 2 to death as well as the ot2 travelers, this is not a hate post by any means. Also, the fact that the first game is still more dear to me doesn't make me blind to the fact that ot2 did improve its formula under almost every aspect and is overall of better quality than ot1.
So as I was playing ot2, I felt like it was somehow “missing” the same warmth of the first game. Naturally, my first thought was that it was just nostalgia for the first cast, until my boyfriend said the exact same thing to me some time after he started playing ot2. When I asked about it in a small octopath server, almost every response I got was similar to what we were feeling, and many of us pinpointed that the main reason is that the cast doesn't feel as a found family as much as the ot1 cast did, and I'll explain why.
/!\ Spoilers for both games! /!\
The group of travelers in ot2 doesn't feel as cohesive: on the contrary, it often feels like the travelers aren't involved in their friend's adventures as much. They often come off as a bit more individualistic and just casually sharing the same road together while pursuing their own goals. In their banters together, they rarely offer/actively seek each other's help and they generally feel more lonely in their paths
This is kinda ironic given how much more content together the ot2 travelers have, like the crossed paths or the journey for the dawn chapter. The one exception, at least regarding the crossed paths stories, are probably Throné and Temenos
The found family trope is more often than not shoved down your throat in a way that's just less effective and more annoying ex. Ochette calling Osvald and Castti mama and papa (or the general imagery of every traveler seeing Castti as their mom when she is just doing her job as a caregiver) or Osvald getting drunk and mistaking Castti and Agnea for his wife and daughter, when Osvald often shows fatherly instincts only towards his actual daughter Elena
The major issue we all agreed on: the travel banters. The main difference is that in ot1 every travelers had a chance to talk to all 7 travelers during each chapter of their story, which actually gave the impression of them traveling together and also the opportunity for a good balance between more lighthearted banters about disparate matters, and deeper banters that explicitly address what's going on in that moment. In ot2 we had the amazing opportunity to reread every banter without missing even one of them, but the amount of banters drastically reduced! Which left me kinda confused!! Because for every chapter, only a few travelers get to talk with the one progressing through a chapter. And that leaves place for an awkward silence on the other travelers' behalf, because it does almost deliver the vibe that they're just observing quietly, or that they don't care enough about what's happening to intervene. That silence takes a big toll on how believably the concept of found family is delivered, in my opinion. We don't really need 70% of the banters to be about card games, fashion, hobbies and food (why are there so many banters about food lol) when the actually deep/important matters barely get addressed by the other travelers.
An example: the apothecaries' chapters 3. They both are very emotionally heavy chapters, where both Alfyn and Castti are having a really rough time. Having the chance to talk to all 7 of his friends, Alfyn not only gets to talk about his job as an apothecary and joke with Therion about getting drunk at the tavern, but he also receives important advice and active help from his teammates. Like Olberic, for example, you can almost picture him holding Alfyn's shoulder in the attempt of getting him to calm down
Whereas in Castti's chapter 3, she goes through one of the most painful and heartbreaking moments of her life (remembering what happened to Malaya and the Apothecaries) and barely anyone comforts her. You only get Temenos saying "you can count of me" and Hikari, saying more or less the same thing. No Osvald talking to her about dealing with the grief of losing everything?? No Agnea and Partitio reassuring her, telling her she did what she could and that it was not her fault?? No Throné sharing with her the relief of freedom, of finally being free from her amnesia?? ... That does feel like a huge missed opportuniy and really makes it look like the other 5 travelers are just observing in silence, and that really ruins the immersion to me. They do feel more lonely and less of a family, no matter how many times Ochette calls her "mom" , she wasn't there for Castti when she needed it. She didn't say anything. The effort made by their crossed paths story isn’t enough to make up for it to me
Not only that, but ot1 is full of other examples of the travelers actively seeking each other's help: Olberic is constantly asking for his teammates' opinions because he trusts them (Olberic ch4, Cyrus banter) and offering his protection in return, Tressa and Therion often value each other's advice, and many other cases.
Final point: this is a bit of a pet peeve of mine, but I couldn't help but feel my opinion reinforced by the promoting team's choices; in every piece of art for the first Octopath Traveler game anniversary, all 8 travelers were featured. As they should be! OCTO is in the name, after all. None of them is more important than the others, and it's crucial to me that in their anniversary art they ALL get featured. Well, for the first anniversary of the Octopath Traveler 2 release the official promotional art only featured Temenos and Crick. One (1) traveler and a npc. Well done, that's how you don't want to celebrate your game's 1 year anniversary when the main feature of the game in question is that it's a collective story that features 8 characters. Yes I am not blind I am aware of Temenos and Crick's popularity as both individual characters and as a ship (which by the way I am very neutral about so again, no hate), but my god that official art did leave a bitter taste in my mouth as soon as I saw it. Like really? What about the other 7 travelers? Aren't they supposed to be a found family?
So in the end I think the missing travel banters are what makes the ot2 crew feel a bit more distant and less of a family to me, and the crossed paths and Journey for the dawn really, really struggle to make up for this because the basics of the relationship between the travelers just aren’t quite there.
Now I know this game is dear to many, me included, and that many others may have the complete opposite opinion, and that's okay. We can talk about it! I love hearing different opinions.
Peace! ✌️
#octopath traveler#octopath traveler 2#sly rambles#I KNOW this is a controversial opinion and may be very subjective#it really depends on what you value more in a found family dynamic
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Insane what loving a character so much can do to their costuming-
#sham's art#shamsbabs#iliana#both her aor and canon compliant costume lineups#i'm planning on cracking outside canon and giving each world a unique costume to work with#well aside from the fantasy worlds they'll get their own universal costume that could fit any of their settings#i don't have that much brain power making princess costume no. 96 or whatever#even so these were just part of my ref redesign effort so that'll have to come later anyway#i have 5 more of her refs to complete and i can finally move on hallelujah#again insane what loving a character so much can do-#kingdom hearts oc#kh oc#army of the roses#this is probably the only thing i'll post for a while#moving again soon so my free time is gonna be dedicated to packing ✌#in fact as i'm queuing this i should by now have gotten out of bed to get started lmao#i can only hope anyway
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Thank you all for an incredible 500 days of love and support. I offer you: answers to questions that no one has asked.
(As always, more can be found in the tags <3)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#a-qing#jin ling#wen ning#jiang cheng#“Hey wait this feels like there should have been way more content for questions” Yes. There was.#I was not strong enough to redraw *all* of what was lost. Rest in piece the original (lost to tea related accident)#But I'll tell you all the fun other things that would have been drawn out right here in the tags!#Did you know my longest posting streak was 61 days? And my longest hiatus was 6 days?#Did you know I missed posting on 92 days of those 500 days - meaning I posted 82% of the time on a daily basis?#I'm normal about collecting data. I have so much data on this blog for normal reasons. I'm also so normal about art. The normalest.#Honorable mention for the character rankings: Lan Wangji! for “Most improved in rank”.#Sorry Lan Wangji fans but until the audio drama I honestly was...pretty indifferent towards him.#I think a huge part of that was due to the fact he's constantly paired up with WWX; who has *so* much charisma and steals the scene#But I've really come to like him a lot more since starting this project. He rose from mid-tier to being in the top ten!#Dishonorable mention: Nie Huaisang. Who fell out of number 1 spot and out of the top 5.#He just hasn't shown up a lot! And my rankings are fickle! They will probably change once I finish the third season!#My favourite comics are: A lot of them! And the ones I have yet to make!#I'm very sleepy at the moment while writing this but I do want to give a huge shout out to YOU.#Yeah! you reading this! Thank you! If you've been here since the first week or just started reading: THANK YOU!#If you've only ever lurked and never even liked a single post but still read my comics: THANK YOU!!#In creating this blog - I have found 500 days of more happiness that I could have ever imagined.#Thank you for joining me on this journey. Thank you for giving me your time and your support.#It means more than any 'thank you' could say B'*)
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Vr46 academy keychains
Set of five charms that all match in different ways
˚ ✦ . . ˚ . . ✦ ˚
Open for detailed pictures of each one
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ *ੈ✩‧₊˚
��ֶָ 𓂃˖˳·˖ ִֶָ ⋆★⋆ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃 ִֶָ
:・゚✧:・.☽˚。・゚✧:・.:
˖⁺‧₊˚⭒✮⭒˚₊‧⁺˖
. ݁₊ ✶. ݁ ˖ˎˊ˗
I ran out of tags so I'll say it here but i would greatly appreciate a reblog, especially if you share your thoughts on these pieces in tags (。•̀ᴗ-)✧
(Also i forgot that bez have matching part with luca so I didn’t add that to tags sorry
#motogp#marco bezzecchi#pecco bagnaia#valentino rossi#celestino vietti#luca marini#mb72#fb63#vr46#cv13#lm10#vr46 academy#okay so i fear tags won't be enough for me this time but I'll try tell everything anyway#firstly i used nicknames (should have used maro but didn't think at the time) for everyone because it brings more of a family feeling than#when i do initials and that's exactly what i wanted with them. on the same note the wolves#the wolves were tge first thing that started this idea because i wanted to make bez charm and picked one up and then it expanded very fast#because let's all face it - they are basically a wolf pack and it's extremely fitting. also after taking these pictures i found mettalic on#for cele. and it's a huge slay because i really don't like mismatching colours of metal#probably the only one that i did mismatch is vale but amazingly it looks pretty neat. i also put as many turtles as i physically could#also except for wolves he also has matching beads with cele and luca if you can spot them#while cele matches luca and bez#bez matches cele and pecco while pecco matches only bez. it was quite a challenge to find beads that would suit their different#colour schemes while looking organic in keychains#also for bez i used a wrench bc of his family and i think that's pretty neat detail#it was absolute mindfuck to find beads for five different keychains at the same time because of how different they all are but i tried#also put a lot of effort into not repeating myself as much as j could in structures so they all have their own personalities outside of set#also i love that “bez” part looks like fangs icl#if you see bead that stands out by colour from all others in keychain it's probably for their eye colour because i love to add that too#also used old bez livery because what we had this year was horrible#actually i made it some time ago just never had time to post
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Saiouma Puella Magi AU, but Kokichi takes Madoka's role and Shuichi takes Homura's.
For one, Kokichi's too naturally distrustful to just hear "I can grant you any wish :)" and not think ok where's the hook. So he just does what no one ever has & essentially interrogates Kyubey, so he knows it all even before he gets to make a contract. So, some of his classmstes are MGs & he won't become one himself BUT he still ends up tagging along to just protect them in his Kokichi ways. (Though I'm entertaining Kokichi lying about being a magical girl, because, well, it's Kokichi).
(I also got a small idea of Gonta being a magical girls and Kokichi originally tagging along him into labyrinths, Gonta also makes him a magic gun from the toy one he had, and at some point witches out & Kokichi manages to kill him with that gun. So he always has that spare Grief Seed on himself, bc it's still his best friend & he can't handle the idea of just giving it away or using it himself (he does anyway in the end).)
Shuichi prolly ends up being a new kid & it isn't like MadoHomu, the ppl who reach him first are Kaede & Kaito, classic. Kokichi's there, too, but he's his usual sus self. He's actually discouraging ppl from making a contract when they find out magic and miracles are real, which absolutely includes Shuichi. He's very vocal abt it, but he won't explain stutf, bc 1) he's a liar, so who'd believe him? and 2) he doesn't want them to witch out upon finding out the truth or, idk, murder everybody Mami-style.
Anyway, fast forward, bad things happen bingo & by the end of the run most charas are dead, there's Walpurgis nachting, and he makes his wish to bring back the ppl who died notably not as magical girls. Contract signed, he fights & fails, rip. I also thought it was similar to how he thought he could end the killing game by himself - he though he could finish Walpurgisnacht by himself, too. And he failed in both times. Whatevs.
Shuichi doesn't actually make his time travel wish for Ouma specifically, he wants to save all his friends. Timelines are messy esp at first bc he either tells then or it backfires or just makes himself look very sus bc he's trying not to tell them. He also realizes why Kokichi hadn't told anybody aby witches at some point, bc, yeah, it messes them a lot, assuming they believe it.
Still, Kokichi ends up one of the few people who are nearly always giving him a chance, not necessarily out of belief, but out of pragmatism - bro can stop time & knows the truth, that's just too useful. So they often work together & Shuichi grows closer to him but still we ain't there yet. But the thing is, Shuichi's time travel still makes Kokichi more & more powerful with each timeline, bc Shuichi usually goes back after Kokichi dies, so the universe figured out this guy's life's important. Anyway, another notable thing is the iconic Homura kills Madoka scene, but it's Saiouma with guest stars of Kaito & Maki. It's Walpy, it's not defeated yet, but the training trio are spent & just kinda accept their fate of turning into witches together. And then, boom, Kokichi appears & steals their Soul Gems for a sec & he's like did u know you can cleanse your Soul Gem with a darkened one? But it's a lie & he quickly tells them so, he just had a spare Grief Seed after cleansing his Soul Gem & he needs them to do some stuff. Shuichi can travel back in time & fix things, and Maki & Kaito are needed to fight Walpy here. He actually questions what happens to the timelines Shuichi leaves behin, and ofc he doesn't know. There's a chance they remain, so Kokichi needs Maki & Kaito to fight Walpy here.
Kaimaki leave, and Shuichi finally looks at Kokichi & realizes sth is Wrong. Kokichi struggles to hide how he's trembling & grimacing, and it's Kokichi, so obviously it must be extremely bad. Shuichi dreadfully realizes something worse, and he weakly asks Kokichi why aren't his wounds healing. And Kokichi just falls, laughing weakly, and Shuichi catches him & searches for his Soul Gem and, God, he knew it. It's nearly completely black. Kokichi laughs & admits he lied abt having two Grief Seeds, he only had one he never wanted to use. But they'll have the second one soon, so no need to worry. He asks Shuichi to maybe destroy his witch form as it's hatching, so he'll have the Grief Seed without any fighting… and he admits that he hates fighting, he hates this magical world and all its violence. He says that Kaito was right in calling him a coward, even here he just can't handle the idea of fighting any longer, he's so sorry. And Shuichi tells him he ISN'T a coward. He was scared, but he always followed everybody, trying to help, and when push came to shove he would always make a contract for the benefit of others rather than himself. He's a lot of things, but a coward isn't one. Kokichi actually tears up hearing that, and Shuichi promises he won't let him fight ever again, and especially he won't let him turn into a witch and hurt anybody, because he knows it's the last thing he's ever wanted. Even now he only accepts turning into a witch to help them fight to keep others safe. So Shuichi won't let him. Kokichi probably apologizes and thanks him and then he dies.
Keeping Kokichi from fighting starts off as a side quest that gains importance with time, bc it's something Shuichi won't compromise on (ah, trauma), which leads him to occassionally neglect others a bit, which makes them more likely to get hurt & ironically Kokichi more likely to make a contract, especially since he gets more powerful & Kyubey is more interested in him with each timeline. And that also makes him witch out super quick. Shuichi's paying more attention to him & over time grows resentful of others for how they're treating him. To Shuichi it's no question that Kokichi cares & is just doing his best to help, but nobody realizes that.
But the biggest obstacle in keeping Kokichi from fighting is actually Kokichi himself, bc he's too smart and nosy, lmao. Even if he knows nothing, he will find out quickly. Doesn't help that Kyubey wants him to make a contract.
Also, obviously Kaito is Sayaka-coded and Maki could be Kyouko-coded, so that's a thing, BUT it's usually Maki that witches out. Kaito is usually pretty close, but Kokichi intervenes & he survives, but Maki later cracks on her own (and since in the new timeline Kokichi isn't there, Kaito's the one to die, so he's still the secretary). So it's Kaito who gets the dramatic sacrifice. I imagine he genuinely hoped you could bring somebody back if you tried Very Hard & Kokichi called him a moron bc obviously it's not possible. If it was there'd be far less witches that there are. But it's Kaito, he doesn't listen to reason. So, Kokichi follows him to the labyrinth. At first Kaito's mad cuz what if Kokichi being there ruins the plan? Maki hates his guts! But eventually he gets hit pretty hard, and Kokichi is near immediately by his side, trying to help him get up, which kinda makes Kaito short circuit a little bc wait Kokichi's trying to help? But witch!Maki attacks them & Kokichi pushes Kaito away & gets caught himself (and choked until unconsciousness, naturally). Anyway, Kaito gets him away, Shuichi catches Kokichi & Kaito makes up his mind about going down with Maki & asks Shuichi to tell Kokichi that he's sorry. He doesn't get him, but he got hurt trying to protect him, so he'll believe in that if nothing else. F.
As for The WishTM, in the last timeline Shuichi lashes out at Kokichi for his willingness to just become part of the system. In no timeline has his wish actually helped, it did NOTHINHG, which OUCH but it also makes Kokichi think out of the box more & he becomes the Law of Cycles. And Shuichi realizes what is happening & freaks out bc Kokichi's doing it bc of what he told him & like Homura they end up having a momentTM in space & Shuichi remembers. He feels a lot of guilt even tho he also questions whether anything was real, but if it was, he pushed somebody he far too realized he loved into erasing himself from existence.
#hope it's not too long but i'll make it a read more if somebody thinks it is#i spammed discord i spammed bsky it's only fair i post it on tumblr too#kokichi ouma#shuichi saihara#saiouma#danganronpa#like obviously normally you'd go for something like Kokichi as Homura and Shuichi as Madoka and I'm just not that sure of it myself#like the vibes match at the first glance but the more I think about it the less it actually works for the characters in question#one of Kokichi's most defining chracteristics is that he cares a lot about everybody and frankly more than probably any other V3 character#but in a very... general sense if you get me. characters like Kaito and even Shuichi pick some people they like to care for and everybody#else is like whatever - sucked but now it's done like after Korekiyo's execution he says nothing abt him while both Makoto & Hajime offer#Celeste and Mikan some more thoughts and compassion; anyway obviously Kokichi doesn't care about say Kaede more than Shuichi but he still#gives all their lives the same amount of respect just for the sake of it; that's what makes chapter 4 so horrifying from his perspective#and also why in chapter 5 he isn't willing to do the same anymore and instead chooses to die himself so Maki of all people can survive and#so Kaito can go in a blaze of glory. and these two are arguably the two characters who treated him the worst (not that anybody treated him#well save for maybe Gonta and Kiibou). so i can't imagine Kokichi in Homura's role - reaching the point where he cares about only one perso#surviving while everybody else can die in a ditch bc the one time he picked his life over anybody else's he had a wholeass breakdown & then#killed himself several days later even though logically it would've made more sense to either kill Kaito who's dying anyway or throw Maki#under the bus since she was the one to fuck things up in the first place and proved herself to be a danger to the group.#Shuichi meanwhile he absolutely could given his lack of regard for some of the dead (Rantaro Ryouma idk abt Angie but I remember little#Korekiyo Miu and finally Kokichi himself) so he could snap at some point#anyway time to shut up it's getting long in these tags
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Draw more terrorbeak wilson 🔫
idk what you're talking about, I still am drawing him I think
#dst#wilson#dst wilson#Terrorbeak Wilson AU#mobs AU#yet again asking for help naming that AU plz#this is obviously a joke because the saladmander wilson is just wilson but as a saladmander while terrorbeak was some werewolf type bullshi#i still doodle terrorbeak wilson but just never post it... because these doodles don't look interesting to me...#maybe one day i'll post a doodle dump of shit i don't find interesting enough to post but eh i probably won't#the only real thing these AUs have in common are that i post about it a bit then never again#at least these gets posted publicly
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Hello! I just discovered your blog and I immediately became captivated by your webcomic, but I'm unsure where to read all of it. I know it's on Webtoons, but I can see it hasn't been updated for a while, and you still post about it.
Are your physical novels just prints of the webcomic? Are they a continuation? Is the story complete? Thanks in advance!
Hi there!
Glad you found me and are enjoying my comic!
It's only on webtoons, and the story is not complete yet! We're 2/3 of the way through right now. It's currently on hiatus, and it's scheduled to come back in about 2 months!
I'll explain why it's been so long if you're curious, but also for my followers who might also be wondering about it under the cut. Sorry, it's pretty much just me complaining haha
I took a month off I took 2 months to get the books printed I took a month to prepare my next comic and I took 2 months to write the rest of the series (I knew the character arcs I wanted, but not the time periods or mysteries!!!) I've been working on actual episodes since then
I had to take some time off because of some pretty extreme burnout due to the sheer amount of work it was to draw over 800 pages and write 6 complete stories in a year and a half... I was getting sick almost weekly due to the overwork, it was really really bad honestly. I was having to work 60+ hours every week just to keep up...
The nature of the comic itself is also difficult... Each of the arcs is a complete, self contained story which can be read (ideally) without context, and my arcs need to be about 10-13 episodes each... And since I have an exact number of episodes to work with, it's even harder.
It takes a ton of planning and a ton of refinement, and working week to week with no breaks I was forced to put out second or even first drafts, so I just wasn't happy with the work I was doing... And to do that for the rest of the series? I wouldn't be proud of the work I did.
Plus... To be entirely honest, webtoon has treated me quite badly IN MY OPINION... They deprioritized me before I launched (I had to beg for more promotion, I'm not exaggerating), they outright denied me the opportunity to even ask for a raise, I don't make any money on fast pass and they pay me less than my partner makes working at trader joes. My first editor left me completely hanging, my second editor (who I loved) was fired... And they told me I wouldn't get a third season before my first season even finished. So it was just repeatedly completely demoralizing.
I'm sorry it has taken so long, it'll have been 10 months by the time I come back. But I realized... I won't get promotion either way. I won't get more episodes either way. I won't get more money either way. So to finish everything, to make it feel good, to make it something I'm proud of, I chose to take longer to make it better.
I am fully aware I will lose a significant amount of my readership for this and it might genuinely affect my career moving forward. But it's what I had to do! So I'm sticking to my guns on it, and I'm confident long term it'll be worth it. It never could have been this good if I didn't take this much time.
#asks#steakandpeanutbuttersandwiches#I'm SO sorry youre new and you asked me such a benign question and I responded with... this... LMAO#I swear to god I tried to make it as short as possible#theres just a lot auauuaghkhgjk#basically. way too much work. not enough money.#so it either is gonna be good and take longer or be worse but come back faster#and I chose to take longer#so.#I'm really sorry and I wish that this decision didn't also come with the... pretty much guarantee that it will negatively impact my career.#I will lose readers. I will lose potential readers for my future work. it looks bad on me as a creator to take such a big break. etc. etc.#but it's good. it's so good. you have to trust me it's like the best stuff Ive ever written#it. ok well to be honest#it'll probably feel extremely simple and extremely natural#but it's been SO much work LMAO#I am not exaggerating I have written over 200 pages of scapped ideas to get to where it is#I'm sure it won't make sense why it took so long while reading but you gotta trust me LMAO#ideally it doesnt even 'feel' different right. cause its gotta be cohesive with the whole thing#but there is SO MUCH TO WRAP UP#THERES SO MUCH#and to make that feel natural in this little space oh my GOD it is so hard#ok omfg I'm doing it again I'm going on way too long again IM SO SORRY#YOURE NEW HERE AND IM DOING THIS IMMEDIATELy#this is like 90% for my followers who I know are curious about this and I'm just using you as a jumping off point to talk about it#cause I don't really like to make standalone posts very often#I likely will make some kind of official announcement about it when the date is extremely set in stone#right now I think it's still only tentatively scheduled so it could still change#and I'll say something more... refined and restrained... then.#but for now this is like. actually everything. I think#I'm sure I forgot something but whatever lmfao
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Alright, the kewk classic 'face hole' design it is~ 📊✅
"Ain't he a doll?" 💋💦💕
And now while I fuck with this anatomy sketch 5ever, we gotta decide on a background! I'm thinking Sal would prefer to do his love-sick swooning in the privacy of his bedroom, but where, exactly? 🤔
'The bed'-
Perks: seems more routine, sowft snuggly nest to daydream and swoon in, [darling] collage on the wall, '... okay, what have you been doing with that pillow...?'
Drawbacks: Limited space, have to take stability/sinking into account with props, perspective is Hard and I will make that headboard look good or die trying
'The floor'-
Perks: seems more impulsive, more yan/NEET clutter potential (more room to spread out), a glimpse under his bed (and at all the [darling] stuff he's got shoved under there)
Drawbacks: That carpet is UGLY, I will probably (definitely) bite off more than I can chew trying to fill all that space with props, it hurts my Everything just thinking about lying on the floor like that for too long
'Secret third thing'-
....???? idk you tell me lol
#sally face#sal fisher#love sick sally#tw yandere#tw unsanitary#sorry steve#lime#(just implied a little ((for flavor))#im laughing at the potential of the 'secret third thing'#planking on his dresser? Chillin like a vamp on the ceiling?? Sliding up the wall like a slug???#Periodic reminder: Your only artistic limitation is your own imagination...~🌈♾#i gotta come up with a tag for this redraw so all the posts can be dug up later#i was gonna just make a chain of reblogs with the original post but decided it would get waaaaay too long by the time im done#im so flattered that yall chose the face hole design fr qwq 💖💖💖#I'd have been happy either way but it was a close race for a while and im just pleasantly surprised 🥺💗#side note: ive recently been going down an OG l/oony tunes rabbit hole (bu-dum-tss) so if my doodles start lookin more cartoony thats why#k.e.w.k. x sally#(I'll probably be doing little selfship doodles on this at almost every stage of this redraw bc it sparks joy and i deserve it uwu 💙)
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How did you manage to handle not one, but FOUR separate accounts in fl? I recently made the account for my HD little guy but having to do the tutorial again just seems miserable
there's... weirdly several answers to that question, actually??
a HUGE part of it is due to the way FL is structured. the 10-minute action timer is a core part of the game on a fundamental level, and the fact that i can very easily run out of stuff to do on one character and thus have an excuse to quickly and easily swap to another is just... convenient? satisfying? i'm not entirely sure how to explain it. the fact that i can make progress even while i am fundamentally simultaneously Not Making Progress is like pure dopamine for my freak insane awful little brain. there's just something really pleasing about spending all of my actions pursuing The Goal Of The Day™ on one account before casually swapping to another and doing the same without feeling like i'm wasting time or acting to the first account's explicit detriment. the downtime helps! the recharge time helps! the structure really really works!!
i'm technically only actively playing three, maybe two accounts minimum. the only reason the fourth (the one that'll be my future BaL playthrough) currently exists at all is so i can get his earlygame completely out of the way now and not have to waste time running through it all later, when what i actually want to do is play the ambition i've made myself wait a full year to play. and also getting free goodies as seasonal stuff happens,, something something surprise tools to help us later. the only two accounts i'd say i'm really "actively playing" at the moment are caeru and lark- and of the two, lark takes the most priority, since his ambition is the one i'm currently pursuing in earnest. for a couple months now- despite being My Main FL Character- the scoundrel has actually been pretty inactive on a gameplay front outside of the occasional progression in TLC and discordance content. purely by virtue of having Very little left to do outside of Very long-term grinds and vanities. they're in their "now what?" "now you can start playing the game" era. they've graduated to previous protagonist background cameo in a sequel anime series. they're like the yin FLPC equivalent of red at the top of mount silver. they're Literally just vibing rn. i only keep posting about them regardless because i'm insane and i will never ever ever ever ever let that bat go. but yeah, big TLDR, outside of doing the bare minimum to keep making waves/notability up every week, i'm not actually spending that much time on accounts i'm not currently actively interested in playing. and that accounts for way more gaming spoons than you might think.
i have a virtually lifelong history of playing MMOs, especially and specifically world of warcraft. i was born in the endless grind for useless video game pixel vanities and/or bragging rights. molded by it. you all have merely adapted to doing the same piece of content a pointlessly excessive amount of times for literally no reason besides whimsy and folly. me? i've done my time. i've served my sentence. i've spent weeks doing the original burning crusade netherwing dailies. i've devoted days to running praetorium over and over and over again, back-to-back, nonstop, long before square enix cut it in half and made it NOT take at minimum an hour and a half per run. i've perfected my silverwastes + auric basin goldfarming strategies. i've (almost) crafted dragonwrath tarecgosa's rest. i've killed the sha of anger so many times its dying scream of agony is embedded into the very fabric of my being. ""only"" doing making your name content four times over? that is nothing to me. it means nothing to me. it is so infinitesimal i can do the persuasive seduction quests in my sleep. it's not a matter of handling misery, or having the capacity, or even sighing as i remember the brass embassy raid segment of the watchful questline seriously i don't know why i keep forgetting that exists or what even is my problem with it i just am so consistently mildly inconvenienced by it and its highly specific resource requirements and it is the worst thing ever. maybe i'm just so used to the scoundrel's near-infinite money and troves of disposable items that i've completely forgotten what being poor is like. despite having done that step 3 fucking times now. ahem. anyway. i have transcended the feeble mortal bindings of my resistant-to-grinding flesh and ascended to a higher plane of enlightenment, they may call me insane but they will be the ones left laughing when they see what that "insanity" has wrought, i've usurped them, i've usurped them all-
hacks and coughs and awkwardly clears my throat. i mean. uh. um. Ahem.
the empress' court artistry + tales of the university nerfs helped too.
#and yes#before you ask#i have forgotten which account has which items/has done which content many a time#i think the most painful incident was forgetting to keep up the scoundrel's making waves while i was still playing nemesis with caeru#given that im trying to build it up to 12 and reset their specialization... that was uniquely painful#then again they have like 40 BDR so it wasnt actually that inconveniencing lmao#fallen london#ask#long post#sorry for the infodump + sudden villain monologue.#all jokes and personal accounts aside i totally get the apprehension abt doing that stuff again#it's not for everyone. not by a long shot.#im only doing this because im genuinely invested and in love with this silly little browser game#and way back when i started i made a (only half metaphorical) solemn oath to experience all of its ''main stories''#and truly see everything it has to offer#(bc i like. physically cant do hyperfixations by halves. i need to consume Everything abt the thing or i'll explode)#(and even then i'll probably explode anyway. it's either completely drop it or go All In until it stops taking up so much space in my brain#(and. given the track record. that is not happening with FL for a while yet)#but like. that isnt actually normal behavior. just. just to clarify.#from what ive seen a VAST majority of people do not go out of their way to play literally every ambition#and that is so valid. it is so overwhelming. you have to juggle so much.#you have to play the earlygame So Many Goddamn Times.#(as i said. served my time. did my sentence. i am my scars. etc etc)#the best advice i can give as someone who's so completely desensitized to that repetition it doesnt even phase me anymore?#the same advice i can stress to all FL players. legitimately just take ur time with it. play when you want to.#dont when you dont.#sometimes you have to grit your teeth and bear things. and when it comes to alts you Will have to grit your teeth and bear it all again#but the beauty of this being a game that one plays for fun is that unlike. say. crushing deadlines or annoying coworkers in real life#you are completely within your power to decide when where and if you want to grit and bear it all#..wow this is ADVANCED yin rambling holy shit. i actually reached the tag limit. i think this ask should be put on some kind of list
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#hello i appear again#nothing bad happened i just need to take breaks sometimes#also i'm really happy because#on friday i bought my first darkromanceish book#and it's the first book i manage to read since probably 2017/2018#i used to be an avid reader as a kid so it always hurt to have lost the ability to focus for more than 5 mins#BUT I DID IT. I FUCKING LOVED IT. AND IT WAS SO SPICY#i also cried obviously because i'm too soft for angst but hello it's DARK ROMANCE#the love interest was such a good fucking dom oh god#i wish i could have had someone eating me out while reading the sex parts because HOLY. SHIT.#the realest ME WHEN#anyways girlies if anyone is on the same dark romance train and is interested#it's the twisted series by ana huang#that's the only thing i have to tell honestly lol idk when i'll post pics again but#wanted to say hi 🤓#if you read all these tags you absolutely own my heart. i highly doubt it tho
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has happened plenty around iconis goings on but what an all-timer
#joe iconis christmas extravaganza#13th annual xmas#do i mean being floored like oh even to hear of it; do i mean that it happened; do i mean that joe iconis shared the whole scene asap? Yea#on this Wow They Made The Day From The Christmas Show Into A Thing day & being reminded of this like let's get that kleinsen moodboard cut#semi accuracy generally around like the Joeuvre Iconisography Works Will Surprise / Do Unexpected Things#but sometimes i can go in with whatever details make me suspect i'll have an Extra great time & be so very correct#& sometimes i can be like please won't someone post the krampusfucking & here's joe himself like you rang. Yes#& that was the sexiest thing of all....the comedic krampusfucking bico but shoutout to saving the day w/clips of your own show you put on#i may be rushing things but. post the scenes again Now#also i will deftly say the xmas show in general b/c if it's not a gift that keeps on giving & also unstoppable & just so [hrraaaughhrrhg]#chaotic accurate pov baby please come home snow throwing clip ;o;#& when i tell you bsol & xmas are dancing cheek to cheek it's also the indirect like pointing ohh i know you w/the voice & the smile#skeleton is krampus is jeremy morse is from bsol which i've been thinking of getting around to for years but that's how it is w/anything#New Media a whole thing & indeed might be that slow getting on it even if i intend to. well already i'd been thinking about it again like#hmm humm....the kinda scarcity of info like something to latch on to would help. & spaghetti western hero needs to rescue his wife as#most the info known isn't very latchy like well godspeed; & even figuring yknow w/an iconis work a solid time ft any fun is guaranteed#so when i've Been like hmm yeah perhaps bsol time soon but then going like ah so i'll probably have a High Time w/the villain at least huh#felt it coming on Exponentially in a [momentum on your side] way like intrigue & frequency of Hmming about it#then had a great time like adhd be damned i sat there & did Nothing while listening to that audio & only paused for like bathroom/drinks#had a great time & ever since have been intermittently saying things to the room enthusiastically / with Niche Inspiration#to no one's surprise....so i'm also delighted if the brief little [majorest & minorest villain] doubled role influenced xmas krampus lol#now there's some trivia & a loop of funny little guys. & once again like for in the iconisography? if you had a nickel....#plus yknow w/the xmas show Overall like i was saying w/Kinda knowing abt it in time for the '19 12th annual show like wough....#we do need a little christmas extravaganza before my spirit falls again (surprising amount of post bmc malaise) & i'm curious#smthing to latch on to there for sure like ah villain wrole how fun? then like i said w/some Glimpses like oh the chestnut medley Energy#in that urgent choreography urgent harmonizing lmao i was so delighted like the beginning of catching onto the degree of playfulness#only the beginning; was still in that process when in the middle of its off years i was like lemme dig into this as Archive/Research#& now here we are & i'm having a high time w/any glimpses past & present (gonna be a minute re: future) celebrate christmac & cheese#even rewatching this video to get this screenshot for the hundredth time snort laughed buhYoot iful what's yuour hurraayy(ah)
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#i don't really want to make a whole post about it because it was a very personal and very miserable time for me#but genuinely#the thing that got me wanting to move on again and LIVE after my life plans all fell apart last year#was sitting down and very seriously thinking about the kind of woman i want to be when i'm 70#i hit that thing that a lot of people in their mid-twenties are hitting right now#where it feels like we've already wasted everything and not only are we failures now but we will always BE failures until we die#but right now i'm still in my twenties#and when i thought about what a good lifespan looked like to me#70-ish seems about right#and what do i want to have when i'm 70#what skills will be useful and beyond that#what skills will be fun#i had gotten into a mindset of “too late too late”#learning to draw#or sing#or dance#or fix a car#or ride a motorcycle#they all felt like learning NOW would be pointless because *melodramatically* aLL my YoUtH HaS bEEn WaStEddd#but unless God has another plan i'm not going to die in my twenties#i'll likely live many more decades#my life probably isn't even half-way over yet#what do i want to be when i'm 70?#it doesn't matter that i don't know everything yet#i have more than four decades to work on it#that's more than the entirety of the life i've already lived#and yeah#i spent five years at a dead end job that finally drove me almost to a breakdown#but even that wasn't a waste#i saved enough to go to school and i learned a lot while i worked there
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I will be forever grateful i can be on this new med. it's one a lot of folks also need and can struggle to have access to! It's important i be on it, especially if i start doing any vid collabs
(some of which, really, all of which, i unfortunately actually need to cancel that were in the preplanning stages, bc the election results have me wanting to wait and see how the general atmosphere of the country is before i agree to meet up with anyone. I feel bad for cancelling, but also i just can't know for sure how safe things are/might be going forward and I'd rather avoid the potential of. ya know. various not great things that could happen at a meet up, tho i would certainly hope they wouldn't. i don't feel like actually addressing them rn, u guys know what i mean)
That said, if the truvada initial side effects could fuck off asap would be so lovely. three weeks at worst, then they should be gone/much better or so i am told. really hope that's true bc losing my mornings to being dizzy and nauseous is Not Working for me lmao. im on week two, and now understand why my new doc said to call if i needed any 'cheerleading' and support to get thru the side effects, bc apparently she's done that for several ppl to make sure they actually make it thru the three weeks and keep on it (lovely of her!!)
#text post#not going to get into the other painful smack of this morning#suffice to say that medicaid does not in fact fully cover vocal therapy/training for trans ppl#even if ur docs feel incredibly certain it is#if i was making a decent bit over minimum wage at consistent hours and already had my current debts paid off mostly#then I'd happily consider paying the chunk Medicaid won't cover but as of now#it would literally be basically two paychecks if not three to cover the estimate for this first visit#and that's only if the poll would have us polling every week like we did before the election#otherwise we're guesstimating it would be upwards of 4 paychecks to cover it#I'm actually gonna get into in here bc nobody reads all my tag essays (fair valid and correct)#im really sad abt this. my voice gets me clocked a lot and while i can mostly handle like. visually being clocked#my voice giving me away genuinely makes me feel a pain in my chest. i can't get my customer service voice to go lower yet#and even if it's my usual voice I've made minimal progress on my own self done vocal study stuff#so like. no one knows how high it was compared to how it is now tho so no one actually hears it as anything near deep#which it isn't but like. there's been a slightly barely there drop of it per at least a couple ppl in my life#i was probably going to be able to learn how to sing again and find my new range. I'd fix my customer service voice#even if it would only ever be a teeny bit lower than how it is now. it would be lovely#im not gonna get too down tho bc someday hopefully I'll be able to make it happen/afford it#and for now...im doing the bad thing of not cancelling the appt yet#i will bc they're booking out for months and it isn't right of me to take a spot i know i can't keep#but. let me pretend i can for another day or two. maybe until monday. then I'll call or msg them on mychart#and let them know i just don't have the funds rn tho i do deeply appreciate that Medicaid at least pays part of it#im just not at a point where i can cover the rest but that I'll reschedule/have a new referral sent whenever that changes#...and hopefully things in this country will be of such a state that such care is still available to ppl like me.#but that's all we're saying on that bc im already having a pathetic little cry over this#(im fine the med side effects have me crying over everything lol i see a sad commercial and Instant Tears like someone died lmaooo)
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