#this is probably the dumbest thing ever but its okay

[syrospit]

my darling magic man, magnus

or as my friend calls him autism jesus

———

edit: if this becomes my most liked post i will draw him naked

[aleximustdr4w]

American Gothic.

buy me a coffee :)

speedpaint

[foreststarflaime]

Can I have 13-15 for AGSZC?

Coming right up! Ty!!

13. Dumbest thing they’ve ever done

Angeal: took care of a fake plastic plant like it was a real one for several days before he noticed. This may or may not have been the result of a prank which he retaliated against in kind with extreme prejudice

Genesis: someone went through all his hardcovers and flipped their covers. He was really out of it one night and picked up one of his hardcover copies of Loveless. It took him much longer than it should have to realize that he was holding it upside down because the cover had been switched around and reading not off the page but from his own memory

Sephiroth: not letting his friends in on what he was dealing with with shinra hthrhrhh probably when Angeal forgot to give him a fork so he assumed the food he had been given (mac n cheese) was just supposed to be eaten with your hands. Genesis has a picture of the result framed in his apartment

Zack: repeatedly runs into poles/doorframes/etc quite often. He gets distracted talking to people or just by his own thoughts and completely forgets to watch where he’s going. Another contender: really liked being turned into a frog by various touch mes back in Gongaga, had to be rescued from this many times by his poor harried parents. Have you ever seen a frog do squats? Sotetsu has. Frequently

Cloud: Sephiroth passed by him in the hallways once. What ensued due to his nerves from that resembled some looney tunes or tom and jerry cartoon in its slapstick physical comedy. He tripped over himself in ways that should not be possible for the human body to achieve. He fell up the stairs

14. Most heroic moment

Angeal: we have not seen it play out in its entirety yet, but—there’s something to the simple gesture of just reaching out to your comrade, a scared, abused kid, and making sure he’s alright. Being there for him even when he pushes you away

Genesis: he was genuinely a hero. He may not have been fighting on the right side, he may have been somewhat selfish in pursuit of glory, but he took care of the people around him. Countless times he pushed himself to the brink of (and even over) mana exhaustion healing his fellow SOLDIERs, and troopers as well, himself. He saved a lot of lives that way, and many loved him for it, and were loyal to him for it—their Shinra-appointed commanders never took such care of them. Unfortunately, their loyalty did not pay off how anyone wished it would.

Sephiroth: I’m sorry I just still cannot get over how devastated he was by that random trooper’s death when they fell off the bridge in Nibelheim. He spent actual hours looking for him. The heights of true heroism right before the fall. I’m going to explode

Zack: dragging Cloud across the entire globe for an entire year straight while he was comatose and Zack himself was definitely not anywhere close to okay. And then making sure Cloud survived even when it seemed beyond hopeless—he could have left him and run and lived but he didn’t

Cloud: I so love that he just saw a sick kid and immediately made sure he’d have food and shelter and kindness and help, even when he himself was hurting too. Denzel <3

15. Worst thing they’ve ever done

Angeal: he did fight in the Wutai War, yknow. He probably killed a lot of people that didn’t deserve it, were just defending their homes. It’s that or making Zack kill him, or not reaching out to Seph when he saw he was struggling.

Genesis: killing his parents and whole village is pretty bad. It’s either that or—depending on how you split the blame between him and Hollander’s influence/lies/manipulation, turning his loyal SOLDIERs who stuck by his side into copies, making their lives a living hell. It might have been kinder to kill them.

Sephiroth: I mean. I think this one is fairly obvious 🔥🏠🏔️🗡️

Zack: again, a lot of the effects of just working for Shinra as a SOLDIER. You have to do some pretty bad stuff fighting for them. I could say stealing when he was on the run with Cloud but he had good reason for that and I don’t think it even comes close really

Cloud: leaving his friends when he wants to curl in on himself and shoulder all the burdens of his life on himself, making them worry and pushing them away when they would have been happy—and probably had more peace of mind—to help him

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: ก่อนดอกไม้…บาน / 花开有时颓靡无声 / Meet You at the Blossom

Meet You at the Blossom is a 2024 joint Thai/Chinese adaptation of a Chinese danmei novel. Marketing itself as an "uncensored BL," it tells the love story of the world's dumbest boy and the absolute psychopath he has the (mis)fortune to fall for.

Note that "uncensored" doesn't mean you're going to see somebody's little blossom or anything like that. It just means that the love story is textual and canonical. These boys declare their love for one another. They hold hands. They smooch. They have soft, unfocused scenes where one of them climbs on top of the other and then everything fades to black. They are two boys and they are in love ... and sure, one of them thinks the other is a girl for longer than is probably reasonable, but what relationship doesn't have its share of misunderstandings?

This twelve-episode drama is a bodice-ripping melodrama with a bottom-barrel Harlequin novel plot. It is the most soap opera I've seen something that isn't a soap opera be. If you are the kind of person who enjoys this sort of thing, you are absolutely going to enjoy this sort of thing. If you're not ... well, it might still hook you anyway. Here's five reasons I think you should watch it.

1. Perfect toxic yaoi sludge

Do you only consume media about healthy relationships between consenting equals, where people have conversations and are always honest about their feelings? Great. Turn this off immediately.

Meet You at the Blossom is the show for people who yearn for the days of Kizuna. People who still think longingly about Zetsuai 1989. People who will not be convinced that Tokyo Babylon is anything but peak romance. People who have seen Gravitation more than once and of their own volition. People who have looked the trashiest yaoi out there dead in the eye and shouted BRING ME MORE.

I keep using the word "yaoi" because that's what it is. It's a gay relationship begun under false premises, consummated under sketchy circumstances, longed for despite serious reasons to stay broken up, and then all somehow worked out in the end. I have described the main pairing as, what if Wen Kexing fell in love with a labradoodle? Carried out to its logical conclusion, this relationship would be good for neither Wen Kexing nor the labradoodle. But for the purposes of a catastrophically badly paced twelve-episode series, it's all the dramatic fuel you need.

Nothing about their relationship is ever reliably safe, sane, or consensual -- and that's the fun of it! Look, the first time they fuck (in episode two!) is under the influence of sex pollen, and they come out the other side of it awkward but definitely not traumatized. I've seen people say they wish the show had treated the noncon bits with more gravity, which ... look, there's no noncon here. Actual noncon-wanters would be sorely disappointed by what this show offers. There's some impaired judgment and overblown irrational jealousy and aggressively pinning one's very drunk partner to the bed, but it's that kind of perfectly okay force fantasy that works in fiction, because in fiction everyone's okay with it. You know they're okay with it. The writer wrote it so they're okay with it. Everybody is getting exactly what they want.

This is a drama about people having Big Feelings that would be terrifying in real life, but are fun as hell onscreen. So you are promising me right now that if you watch this, you will not overthink it, because overthinking this show is like being that raccoon that failed at washing a piece of cotton candy. Don't try to clean up this delicate sugary mess. Eat it dirty.

2. Some fascinating faces

This is going to sound like such a backhanded compliment, but I swear it's not: There are some really interesting-looking people in this show! I can't swear this is because of the Thai production elements, but I have to assume that the different cultural beauty standards at work at least somewhat influenced the casting choices.

A thing about c-dramas is, the majority of the under-40 male actors look like their base model came off of one of the dozen or so approved production lines at the Pretty Boy Factory. While I enjoy these production lines, combine it with my natural touch of faceblindness, and I've had some hilarious moments where I have been certain two characters were played the same person, when they were in fact very much not.

This show is full of a bunch of actors you'd be hard-pressed to mistake for anyone else. There's like one guy who's conventionally c-drama handsome, while everyone else brings a lot more variety to the table than you tend to find in productions like this.

Li Le, when he's all done up as Zongzheng Huaien, is strikingly beautiful in a way that reminds me of old film starlets who maybe should've stopped about one nose job ago. I've seen pictures of him when he's dressed like a regular modern boy, and he's lovely, sure. But with the hair and the outfits and the constant haughty ice-cold stares he's leveling at people, the final look is stunning. And then he smiles and it's just the cutest goofy grin! Anyway, there's a whole big deal about Huaien's parentage, when the obvious answer is that the fey folk dropped him off and said, good luck with this one.

Meanwhile, Wang Yunkai, who plays Jin Xiaobao, has perfectly plump, kissable lips and a wide, soft nose that together with his giant eyes give him the perfect air of an innocent bisexual dumbass currently in the process of figuring out the whole "bisexual" part. He's so cute and cuddleable that you feel extra-bad when you see him in pain, which works for the show, because he spends a lot of the back half of the series being in both emotional and physical pain, as per conventions of the genre.

As for the rest of the cast, there's...

store-brand Huang Youming!

pouty Thai princess!

slimy kite dude and his terrible 'stache!

these precious dipshits!

...and a couple guys I just straight-up can't find pictures of, even though they're important named characters, because this may be the first thing they've been in? Look, this is not a show of well-known names, nor is it something that's probably to launch any careers to prominence. I'm not even going to say this is a show where everybody looks like everyday average people, because no! They obviously do not! They are very attractive people! They are just attractive according to a set of criteria you do not often see on Chinese television, and I think that's great.

3. You don't have to say NO HOMO every time you touch another dude

Really, truly, the greatest thing about an overtly BL property is how touchy men can be -- and not even the romantic pairings! Loyal servants get to hug their masters! Coworkers get to fall asleep in a two-man puppy pile! Childhood besties get to wrap comforting arms around one another! Brothers in arms get to catch their fallen comrades! Friends get to tearfully bid farewell to one another before leaving on journeys! Cousins get to embrace to the point one of the cousins really wishes they would stop!

Mostly it's that once you've removed the fear that gay shit might get your show censored, you can have your male characters engage in a perfectly regular amount of human physical contact.

Like, one of my favorite funny things about c-dramas is the amount of wrist-gripping that happens, as though dragging someone else along by their wrist is a real-life thing that happens often, or even at all. It's the perfect example of how paranoia about depicting physical intimacy leads to substitutes that are just bizarre. We can't possibly have these two people hold hands! So let's make up another gesture and pretend it's a thing people do voluntarily and (more importantly) heterosexually!

But when you've already outright put the YEP, IT'S GAY sign on your production, that paranoia vanishes. What are the censors going to do, get mad at the part where two friends are sleeping tangled up with one another? Three minutes ago there was a scene where one guy kissed another on the mouth! Let those boys snooze!

Alas that the scenes that are supposed to be sexy come across as mostly awkward -- largely because those two leads don't really seem all that keen on sticking their tongues down each other's throats, which, you know, I get; it'd be weird if I had to kiss my coworkers. But what they are good at is snuggling. I almost wish -- and keep in mind this is me saying this -- they'd cut the scenes that were trying to be horny and leaned more into the tender, playful moments they get together. Those are the ones that made me squeal happily and kick my little feet.

I have to mention this one: There is a little cheek kiss that I absolutely love. (I can't find a screencap of it, and my own attempts at screenshotting it were hilariously unproductive, but it gets played as part of gay flashbacks pretty much once an episode, so you can't miss it.) Huaien is being menacing in an attempt to be offputting, and Xiaobao is stubbornly refusing to be anything but charmed by it, and as soon as Huaien turns his head, Xiaobao takes advantage of the moment and plants a quick little mwah! on Huaien's cheek.

And it's SO GOOD. I said out loud, in that moment, do you know how many shows would be improved if one guy could just give another guy a little kissie on his cheek? It should be like how getting a PG-13 rating allows your movie one "fuck," but instead every c-drama gets one moment where a guy gives another guy a little peck. Not even on the lips! Like how Aragorn gets to give Boromir a farewell forehead kiss. Sometimes a scene just calls for a little kissie! Sometimes everything would be better if a guy could just kiss the homies!

You're thinking now of all the places you'd use your single little kissie in various dramas, aren't you? Yeah, so am I.

4. side pairs side pairs side pairs~

Yeah, main couple, true love, happily ever after, whatever. SIDE PAIRS SIDE PAIRS SIDE PAIRS [banging rhythmically on table]

You know the genre, so you know there's always going to be That One Guy that threatens to steal the pure-hearted one away from the psycho by being handsome, rich, well-intentioned, and generally emotionally stable. You also know it's not going to work, because no matter how much healthier that relationship would be, it's not the tasty toxic flavor we're going for here. Anyway, sorry, Su Yin, but you never left the childhoodbestfriendzone.

That bratty prince wants to fuck his cousin so bad. His cousin is not going to fuck him, not because of cousin status, but because the bratty prince needs to be tossed out the nearest window and not let back in until he can legally drink.

I was ready to ship Jin Xiaobao's two little guard buddies -- but no! The littler of the two guard buddies has his own love interest who shows up later in the show, and I'm so upset that there's not more of these two, because that's an unexpectedly hot setup. I'll say no more; you should enjoy this one as it happens.

Now, do not presume that this is a Kinnporsche deal, where fiction has created a magical world in which every man is at least a Kinsey 2. There are still straight men in this show (and a few men who clearly think they're straight but have not yet gotten the memo) who experience varying degrees of befuddlement about the homo drama happening around them. Most characters are at least casually anti-gay, but in sort of the same way you might expect a big cattle-ranching family to react if their son started dating a vegan -- it's not unthinkable or illegal, but, like, why?

There needs to be a word for a gentler state than homophobia. Something like homobefuddlement, a social condition where falling in love with another guy is about on the level of getting a face tattoo or naming your child Optimus Prime. There's nothing stopping you, but you know somebody's roasting your ass on Ancient Chinese Fantasy Reddit.

5. A budget of three dollars and a ham sandwich

I am firmly on record as being charmed by productions that make do with skimpy resources, and Meet You at the Blossom's resources are skimpy as heck. I highly suspect this is one of those situations where if they'd known it was going get the attention that it has, they might've put more money into it from the start -- but they didn't, so they didn't.

I keep coming back to "soap opera" as a description, because that's about the production level you should be picturing here. If you played this on a TV with motion smoothing enabled, the effect would be complete. Everything is done to the cheapest possible degree. Characters legitimately toss smoke bombs and disappear like they're anime ninjas, probably because renting a fog machine has got to be way less expensive than the rigs for wirework. That's the type of shoestring budget we're talking here.

The greenscreen is Not Good, my friends. I mean, not that you expected it to be, but however far you've lowered your expectations already, lower them more.

They got to borrow a brothel set for like half an hour. It's the most people you see in a single room at the same time, and it represents drunkenness by spraying raspberry soda over all the lights.

If I had a nickel for every time Huaien is in some terrible predicament that seems impossible for him to get out of, and then he shows up somewhere else like two scenes later, and we never find out exactly how he got out of that terrible predicament, I would have multiple nickels in my pocket, is all I'm saying.

You know, if my wigs/beards and wig/beard glue were that bad, I would simply refrain from frequent, intense close-ups of the parts where people's fake hair joins to their faces. And if my actors all had that much foundation caked on them, I would probably refrain from close-ups, period. But that's just me.

Actually, no, there's something else about the wigs: They're styled so badly that it actually wraps around (ha ha) to being charming. I'm used to wig situations where the topknots are combed tight and oiled into place within an inch of their lives. But here, everybody who has an updo has kind of a messy one? Especially little Jinbao, where you can see the ends of his ponytail stick out the back in a scruffy fashion, giving him the vibe of a little ragamuffin who's never learned how to do up his hair quite right.

There's a plot, sort of. It's basically the thinnest possible series of excuses for the action in the show to happen, told in occasional five-minute bursts of exposition given by characters you forgot about between now and the last time they appeared. Don't worry if you can't keep track of which prince is which, or who is whose dad. Man, there's even a "curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!" near the end that's played up as some big shock, and I was like, have we met this dude before? I think pretty much every time the grownups started talking, we stopped paying attention. Look, I know this is based on a novel I haven't read, and I'm sure the plot comes off better when it's all packed together in a couple of pages of dialogue you can skip without consequence on your way to the boy-kissing, but in the show it just comes off as perfunctory and clunky. From what I've seen, people who've read the book tend to be way more into the intricacies of the narrative, but I haven't, so I'm not.

(Wait, in the novel, Jin Xiaobao is supposed to be fat? Well, now I feel I've been robbed! ...Eh, it's fine, I'm not sad to skip a sequence where the side benefit of trauma is that you get skinny.)

All this, to me, is charming. If you demand higher production values from your entertainment, this will not be what you want. If cozying up with some low-budget tomfooloery with a big heart feels like comfort food to you, you are among friends here.

And speaking of friends, let me strongly recommend that you watch this with some, if you can, because there are parts that are just begging to get riffed on. I would not have had a tenth as much fun watching it alone as I did goofing my way through it with my wife. It is a show that is only improved by the jokes you make about it along the way. It has no dignity, nor are you obligated to treat it as though it does. Cuddle up with your buddies, grab your favorite snacks, and sharpen your shadiest claws.

Want to meet this show somewhere?

It's conveniently up in a lot of places! Pick your poison:

GagaOOLala

WeTV

iQIYI

Viki

YouTube

Look, I'm going to say it one more time for the people in the back row: This is not a serious, thoughtful portrayal of healthy relationship dynamics. If you expect it to be, you will be sorely disappointed. It is a tale of a bunch of dudes (and, like, two women) whose emotional volume knobs are stuck at eleven and emotional intelligence doesn't go above a two. Go into it knowing what you're getting into, and you might just have yourself a pretty good time.

Get that little kissie!

[sansfangirl24]

How I think the Bakusquad would react to you pulling away from a kiss (part 1)

Warnings: none mostly just fluff and some cussing

(this is my first time doing one of these types of things so please be nice also sorry thats its short its hard to be creative)

(btw this image is not mine so credits to the original creator :D)

Katsuki Bakugo

This man would go crazy "What the H#LL do you think you're doing?" if you ever pulled away when he tried to kiss you, you wouldn't hear the end of it for at least a week even when he does forgive you before then he'll make little comments about it (cause we all know he holds grudges)

he'll proceed to go on a rant about how 'this is the dumbest s##t you've ever done' no matter your excuse whether it's valid or not you definitely won't be getting any affection for a good 30 minutes at the least. when he does decide to forgive you though (after a million begs and pleases) he'll pull away when you try to give him an apology kiss and as you sit there with an offended face, he'll just smirk and say: "yeah how's it feel dumb#ss?" you can't help but hate him and love him at the same time. oh and no doubt about it you'll get the most passionate rough kisses from him the entire week.

Eijiro Kirishima

He would be shocked at first but then it would slowly morph into sadness and as you quickly try to explain why you didn't give him a kiss, he'd already be ignoring you (not on purpose) and thinking in his head what on earth he did wrong and how he could make it up to you. the poor guy just wants you to be happy :(

after the incident (and you saying a million times how it was because you got distracted and that you weren't mad at him) he'd spend a good two weeks giving you random presents to make it up to you even though he didn't do anything wrong "baby? I got your favorite snacks while I was out" "hey baby-shark! I bought you a plushie!" this man will always try to make you happy whether he did something wrong or not and you better give him lots of kisses for his sake and your's.

Denki Kaminari

I think he'd gladly do skincare stuff with you if you were into that sorta thing, but he would also forget that stuff couldn't get into his mouth so when he tried to kiss your cheek when you had a face mask on and you pulled away from him.. he just rolled himself into a little ball on the floor and cried his eyes out. he would do an ugly cry too red eyes, snot and all.

you would immediately be surprised by this and ask him what's wrong and when he was able to finally speak, he'd look up at you and in the most dramatic voice say: "you don't love me anymore!" and thats how you would end up cuddling with him on the couch and stroking his hair and giving him little kisses while you both watched his favorite show (probably something having to do with cars) as a way to make up for not letting him kiss you. this how it ended every time he didn't get his way though so you were used to it and you didn't mind it

uggggggh- okay! that was part 1. hopefully it was okay it was kinda lazy and short but we're surviving. tell me what you guys thought and uh yeah

part 2 will be here when I feel like it

[crazymuffin1]

more or less the full tiktok situation

okay so im not tinfoil hatting because its pretty obvious when you think about it

2020 trump wants tiktok banned im pretty sure the people who overlooked the whole spiel thought that there wasnt anything wrong with it and it and continued on as normal

then for some curious reason the stupidest most tech incompetent people of the congress are part of the hearing with classics such as asking the ceo 10 different ways of "are you chinese" making the viewer think that the next question is going to be whether or not the CEO has ever eaten chinese food. there are of course the other classics (and these are all real questions) "does tiktok read your brainwaves when you put on headphones" "does it record your eyes dilating to figure out what videos to boost via the algorithm" "does tiktok access your home wi-fi network" "are you chinese" "if you turn on airplane mode while in a plane, can tiktok talk to the plane"

im not making this up. these are real actual questions. its not word for word but im not changing the meaning of the questions it really was that bad

then of course beause they took the dumbest people in the congress they made a rule that basically boils down to "apps from countries we dont like have to be owned by america" (so we can censor it) (this is while also being racist towards china and yknow being all 'china censorship bad!')

now there hasnt been an official announcement of tiktok having been bought, BUT!

while it was down for americans, these messages appeared

message 1 ID: Sorry, Tiktok isn't available right now A law banning TikTok has been enacted in the U.S. Unfortunately, that means you can't use TikTok for now. We are fortunate that President Trump has indicated that he will work with us on a solution to reinstate TikTok once he takes office. Please stay tuned! End ID oh yeah the same trump that got it banned in the first place, right? about 15 hours later the app is up again

Message 2 ID: Welcome Back! Thanks for your patience and support. As a result of President Trump's efforts, TikTok is back in the U.S.! You can continue to create, share, and discover all the things you love on TikTok End ID.

heres the part where you gotta put the clues together! the tiktok page of the tiktok CEO no longer has "CEO of tiktok" on his profile

facebook/instagram is all of a sudden having popups of "link to tiktok" and an official tiktok page too. if youre on tiktok you get an add facebook friends promo (this hasnt happened to everyone yet, rolling out feature)

convicted felon donald trump is holding his inauguration indoors, probably because last time he got all pissy that the crowd size was small, but you cant take aerials indoors and indoors have limited seats anyway(maybe as a last fuck you, tiktok will once again reserve a bunch of seats that are left empty? oh please do that!). also its easier to check for weapons and not have snipers when indoors, which is important when first lady elon musk is going to be there, and his fellow oligarch mark zuckerberg is also going to be there. theyre reaaal scared of the snipers since their egos are so big they become an easy target!

but we all know the drill by now. "saving" tiktok is just a failed way to make the younger generation like him. even if he set it up and everyone on tiktok knows. its also a way to make people overlook whatever this weeks war crime is going to be. probably the mass deportation. forgot to add this thing but facebook recently removed fact checkers so tiktok is probably going to have even more (worse) misinformation

TL;DR facebook is going to announce they bought tiktok any day now and give the glory to trump even though he is the reason it was banned in the first place

also as a bonus on the last day, a lot of influencers and stuff like that were having the "since we're all getting banned anyway" moment so a lot of them said stuff like "i never used the products i promoted" "i hated collabing with this creator" "i was never xyz" people who did masked thirst traps (male presenting) were women all along. and then 15 hours later theyre unbanned and have to be like... yep...so that just happened.

anyway tiktok was one of the last few places people got news that werent completely filtered through the right wing lens of whoever owned the newspaper. even if there was a lot of misinfo. think of the ceo shooter and think of how the media portrayed it vs the people. "rich man is murdered in cold blood by some vile monster. he was very beloved" vs "this guy is a vile human being who is responsible for millions of deaths, and he was finally killed"

[snshineandgnpwdr]

southern inhospitality

pairing- Dieter Bravo x ofc!Ava

word count- 1.8k ish

warnings- God, I still don't even know? Mentions of food, tense family gatherings and insecurities, just general crappy Thanksgiving family gathering vibes....also, I borrowed a few lines from Rhett & Scarlett if that's not your thng.....and remember kiddos, no matter what universe or situation, we hate Conrad. 😎

notes- I waffled all week about whether or not I wanted to repost this today for its one year anniversary and finally decided here at the end of the day that yeah, I like this one and I actually do want to. Made some minor edits but nothing serious, this takes place a couple years in the future from where these guys are in their main (unfinished) story but can be read as a stand alone.

thanks as always to @wildemaven for being my cheerleader and @tinytinymenace for the prompt a million years ago that started this. 💕

As he stepped onto the escalator and descended into the arrivals terminal, he thought to himself, 'this is the dumbest idea I've ever had.'

Okay, maybe not the dumbest. He is Dieter Bravo after all, he's done a lot of dumb shit in his life. But this probably ranks right up there.

And it's not like Ava had exactly invited him but when they'd talked the previous evening, she had said she missed him and that was pretty much the same thing right?

Besides, she'd sounded so miserable back in her family's clutches, it was like his duty or whatever to sweep in and rescue her. The last time she sounded that withdrawn-- well, he doesn't like to think about it, but he'll be damned if they ever repeat it. Time for him to step up and white knight this shit.

He's starting to second guess the whole idea though as the Uber makes its way up the long oak lined drive, the massive magnolia tree taking up the majority of the front yard coming into view before the actual house does.

"Goddamn," he whispers to himself as the car comes to a halt in front of a true southern plantation house- fucking columns, gleaming black shutters, coach lights, rocking chairs and all.

He can't help but wonder what the hell he's gotten himself into as he grabs his bag from the Uber and makes his way up the steps to the imposing double front doors and ringing the bell.

Based on the exterior, he's expecting the door to be answered by a housekeeper or a butler or some shit and is surprised when it swings open to reveal a pre-teen boy in perfectly pressed khakis and a seasonally appropriate burnt orange polo.

"Yeah?" The kid says nonchalantly, more interested in the phone in his hand than the actual guest at the door and Dieter catches a glimpse of chipped black glitter nail polish as the boy's fingers fly over the keys.

"I'm looking for Ava. Ava Greene? Is this the right place?" He asks, sliding his Ray-Bans down his nose and trying to peer behind the kid into the house. "Or like the right fucking century? They know the south lost right?"

That gets the kid's attention and he looks up at Dieter, flashing him a mischievous grin and suddenly Dieter sees the family resemblance. At least he knows he's at the right house. Must be one of Drew's spawn.

"The news of the fall of the Confederacy has not yet reached the man of the house. We fear, due to his advanced age and frail condition, such a staggering blow may cause him to expire."

Dieter snorts out a laugh and the kid smiles even wider. "Welcome to Oak Hill," he says with a dramatic bow. "Please, do step inside and join us on this day when we celebrate the most problematic of American holidays."

Dieter is getting ready to call the kid out for inviting perfect strangers into his family's home when Ava's voice comes from somewhere further in the house and instead he finds himself automatically stepping inside as if drawn to her.

"Harry! Who's at the door? You didn't let the Jehovah's Witnesses in again, did you??"

"They're actually here for you," Harry calls over his shoulder. "Something about how you've been living in sin with a cad and a scoundrel."

"Haha," Ava laughs. "Very funny, smart ass. Seriously, who's here?"

"Seriously, it's for you. Come see."

The tapping of heels on hardwood flooring comes closer and Dieter thinks maybe he's stepped not only into the wrong century but also into a completely alternate reality- Ava- his messy, wonderful, Converse wearing Ava, in heels?

His gaze starts at her feet as she comes into view and hot damn, she really is wearing a killer pair of leather booties with some long swirly plaid skirt he doesn't have a name for, crisp white button up, pearls at her ears and throat, hair pulled back in a complicated looking up-do.

"Harry, everyone I know is already here...." And then she catches sight of him standing behind Harry and he grins at the surprised expression on her face. "Dee-- what are you doing here? What about your meeting?"

"I rescheduled. I should've never agreed anyway," he shrugs, reaching out to pull her into his arms and she comes willingly. "I shouldn't have let you do this by yourself."

"I told you it was fine, that'd I'd be fine," she says as she wraps her arms around him and leans into him. "I'm mostly fine."

"You're not fine, look at you," Dieter laughs, pulling away enough to hook a finger in the vee of her shirt, accidentally on purpose undoing one more tiny button and sneaking a peak. "You have a bra on. I wasn't even sure you owned one."

Ava snorts out a laugh and melts back into him, tucking her face into his neck and nipping at the skin there. "Behave, Bravo. We're amongst civilized company here."

"I'll try, but you do look like every sexy librarian fantasy I've ever had," Dieter whispers into her ear, hands sliding down her back to rest on the curve of her ass.

"You're an idiot, bunny" Ava whispers back, holding on to him a little bit tighter. "But I'm so glad you're here."

"Take your sunglasses off," Ava says as they walk hand in hand towards the family room.

"What?"

"We're inside. Pretend you're a normal person and take your sunglasses off."

"But why?"

"Are you high?"

"What? No! I mean, not really, not that anyone could tell," he shrugs.

"Then take them off. Please do not make this any worse than it already will be. When we go in for dinner, sit up straight, keep your elbows off the table, mind your manners and take your sunglasses off."

And with that warning, she escorts him into the belly of the beast.

"We'll have one more guest for dinner," Ava announces to the room and way more people than he expected turn to stare at him. "Some of you have already met Dieter, so I'll just leave you to get reacquainted and set another place at the table."

"Play nice," Ava grins, leaning in to kiss his cheek and giving his hand a quick squeeze before scurrying out of the room like the traitor she is.

He can do this, he tells himself as he hooks his Ray-Bans into his shirt pocket. He can. He's an Oscar winning actor for fucks sake. How bad can one family dinner possibly be?

Three hours later he's hating himself for putting that thought into the universe. Turns out it can be so, so incredibly bad.

Dinner itself was fine, delicious even- the turkey was moist, the potatoes were smooth and buttery, the pumpkin cheesecake was downright sinful.

But the conversation has been downright atrocious. It's as if someone had given Conrad Greene a list of topics not to talk about at a family gathering, and he's tried his damnedest to hit every single one of them.

He's watched Ava's mother masterfully try to steer them into safer conversational waters time and time again, he's listened to all the praise for Drew and the newspaper he can stomach while Ava's own accomplishments get brushed off as inconsequential and she withdraws farther and farther into herself. Even Harry is not exempt from his great grandfather's ire and he watches the bright eyed kid who'd met him at the door deflate like an old party balloon.

Dieter has always thought his own childhood was shitty, but it's nothing compared to this. Sure, he may have never known his dad and his mom may have ditched him, but between his grandparents and Ms. Rose, he'd never once felt anything less than accepted for exactly who he was. Or pressured to be someone he wasn't.

By the time the table is cleared and after dinner coffees are served, his back is starting to hurt from the damned uncomfortable dining chairs, his jaw hurts from clenching his teeth and his fucking knee hurts from how often Ava has dug her nails in to stop him from saying something he most likely shouldn't.

His shades had reappeared at some point to hide how often he was rolling his eyes and Ava was so dejected by that point she hadn't even tried to deter him.

And he's had about enough. Of all of it.

"Are you staying here?" He leans in to ask her.

"No," she shakes her head. "I've been staying at Drew's."

"Great. Did you drive here separately?"

"Yeah, Harry wanted to ride in your Porsche."

"Even better. We're leaving," he announces, pushing his chair back from the table.

"Dieter--"

"We're leaving, Ava. Say your goodbyes and grab your things."

Ava leads Dieter up the side stairs and into the little loft apartment over Drew's garage where she used to live and where she's been staying for the last few days.

"I'm sorry. It didn't....it wasn't always like that," she says as she kicks off her heels. It's the first thing she's said since they left her grandfather's house and Dieter's heart aches for her.

"Ava, honey, you don't have anything to be sorry for. None of that shit is your fault. He's a bitter old man with fucked up ideas of how the world should work."

"Growing up....before my grandmother died....it was different. She tempered him I guess," she shrugs, taking off her pearls and tucking them safely in a little velvet pouch she puts in her make up bag.

"What was she like?" He asks, coming up behind her at the bathroom counter, beginning to hunt for and remove all the pins keeping her hair pulled back.

"She liked to cook and work in her garden, and take Drew and I bargain shopping. She was always smiling or laughing. A little bit mischievous. People gravitated to her. She would've liked you a lot."

"You think so?"

"I do," Ava smiles softly at him, meeting his eyes in the mirror. "I wish she would've gotten to know Harry, she would've gotten a kick out of him."

"He's a pretty cool kid," Dieter grins. "Clever, quick-witted. You sure he's not actually yours?"

"Positive," Ava laughs, spinning to face him. "But I did spend a lot of time with him when he was younger. Guess I rubbed off on him."

"Hey, that's not a bad thing, you know that, right? You're incredibly brilliant, Ava. It's their loss if they can't see it."

"I know. I'm working on it...."

"And, you know what else?" he grins, cupping her face in his hands and adopting a ridiculous southern accent. "You deserve to be kissed and often and by someone who knows how."

"And I suppose you think you're the proper person?"

"I might be....if the right moment ever came."

"What about now, Rhett?"

"Thanks not your line, Scarlett."

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."

"That's not your line either."

"Hey, Bravo....shut up and kiss me already."

And he does.

[radrage]

Hello goobers. Have some Hancock headcanons that refuse to leave my brain. (I spent far too long condensing this I have so many hcs for this man)

pansexual he/they king. I refuse to believe this ghoul has made a decision ever. Like, look at him. He screams "I DO NOT CARE. IF IT HAS A HOLE AND CAN CONSENT, GIVE IT TO ME." Same goes with pronouns. He prefers he/him, but they/them is also a-okay. I reckon he picked it up from KLE0, who introduced him to the concept of ~gender identity~. I don't rlly like the poly hc that some people have bc I feel after what happened with McDonough, he's scared of betrayal, and having more than one (serious) partner at a time feels eerily similar to the feeling he got when he realised his own brother went against him.

Hes only in his late 20s/VERY early 30's. Maybe like, 29? I like to think he was only 18 or so when McDonough pulled his stunt, and that's why he turned to drugs. Being young and stupid, he didn't know what else to do.

Daisy is like a second mother to him. After his mum died, Hancock fell into a deep depression, which Daisy helped pull him out of. She also raised him when Martha was working, and would teach him and McDonough how to read, write, etc. Probably made him play an instrument at one point. Because of her, Hancock has just about the neatest handwriting you'll ever see. His f's and t's have little flicks and his i's are dotted with little x's.

He had an obsession with photography for a while. When he'd black out on chems, Hancock would forget most of his nights. This was a good thing for a while; it helped him escape his reality, but after waking up with a Deathclaw egg in his hands, buck naked and in a tree, he decided to start recording everything he did. If you look under the couch in his office, there's several albums from previous benders. Whenever you come across a camera he gets all excited and starts spewing facts about the make, model, and specs. Probably used the entirety of the Commonwealths film supply.

He's a sucker for compliments. Like, he'd probably die if you called him handsome. Being a ghoul, its pretty uncommon for him to be called anything other than an irradiated freakshow. So, even if its just an offhand "You look nice today", the chance of him melting would be pretty damn high. One time, Sole called him a work of art and he didn't stop smiling for an entire month. He still thinks about it. If romanced, Sole leaves little notes with compliments around their house for him to find. Before meeting Sole, Hancock would often brush off any form of positivity by going "They're being ironic." and on several occasions has admitted to regretting his choice of becoming a ghoul. This isn't true in the end, because, in his words "If I hadn't done everything I did, you wouldn't be in my life." Bonus: Hancock's really smart. This is actually canon as he has the second highest intelligence stat of any companions, but he acts like an absolute dumbass. Like, sometimes he'll ask Sole what 2 + 5 is, and then sometimes he'll write an entire thesis on the etymology of his name in an afternoon. The dumbest, smartest ass on this side of the seaboard.

[ballternia]

do you slam a tray of brownies before doing some hardcore alternian salty betting? or does that require sharp senses and clarity for you?

TRANSLATION UNDER THE CUT

BN: if im settling in for an evening of saltybet then its like BN: yeah we got edibles and snacks and drinks and what have you its a chill time at the hive BN: but honestly those things are like BN: betting isnt a skill BN: its a feeling BN: no amount of bein good at math or knowin probability or anything is gonna make you top the charts BN: what you gotta do BN: is believe BN: believe that just for once BN: just FOR ONCE BN: wolverine can get thru that tiny assed touhou hitbox BN: believe that this time BN: FOR SURE BN: evil ryus fundamentals can beat ronald mcdonald before he gets too much meter and burgers start flyin everywhere BN: its that trust that exists between you and your gut BN: you have to let your gut say the dumbest fucking thing youve ever heard BN: and then BN: you close your eyes and you say BN: okay gut BN: i believe you BN: and if you do that? BN: one. billion. saltybucks.

[montimer]

could you do headcanons for joker from the harley quinn animated series please??

your writings are lovely btw, hope you're doing okay 💖

Sure,also thanks! Im having mood swings lol

Harley guinn animated series:

Joker x gn!reader hc's

He has no sense of personal space.

He doesn't care whos around, he will bring you into a make out session. If you push him away he'll pout.

He's very clingy. Usually more in private.

Need anything? Sure, he'll get it for ya sweets. But he'll need a kiss in exchange.

Cuddles you when feeling more soft.

He might yell at the beginning, but soon he'll realize he needs you and he doesn't want to hurt you.

He will bring you a diamond at first. Maybe to impress you.

He won't ever push you away when you give him affection. If he's in a middle of something he'll quickly forget about it. Huh, you see right trough him didn't you?

Or if hes talking to someone he'll ignore them. He just can't reject affection from you.

He can become jealous pretty easily. He'll threaten the person or step in to interrupt. Maybe take you w/ him if the person doesn't seems bothered by him.

He can get horny from little things. If you aren't feeling like it just spray him w/ cold water. The look on his face is totally worth it, unless he becomes more horny-

He would take you out to dates. Which is probably about pulling some prank on gotham. But he'll hold ur hand almost the whole time. Smiling widely at you.

He'll flirt w/ you. He can say it at the most random times, not caring whos around. And if you get flustered or angry he'll just keep going. Not if you are uncomfortable, then he'll stop.

He'll bring you into big hugs and might even spin you around.

He needs you to be next to him when he sleeps. It makes it easier. And if you can't sleep either? He'll cuddle you, and whisper stuff that happened to him to you. Maybe you fall asleep to that.

Don't give him ur number he'll call you up for the dumbest things ever. Or just when missing you.

When he sees you talking to someone he goes up to surprise you w/ kissing ur cheeks. Maybe a lick if hes feeling jealous. Which will probably make the person go away.

He'll call you nicknames like: darling, dear,lovely,my love, sweetie etc...

He will blush if you compliment him too much. Sure people have made compliments about him before. But its you whos saying it right now! It feels different to him.

If you need him to drive you somewhere or take you home just texts or call him. He'll be there in like one minute.

This man is head over hills for you.

[brokenhardies]

okay fine its 3:30 ive woken up and decided to make it everyones problem - siobhan's cr discourse 'hot takes'

matt mercer didn't decide to 'ruin' the fearne episode by adding essek. essek was probably included ahead of time due to aeor being a specific plot thread both bell's hells and the cast wanted to explore - it just happened to occur during an episode including a major look at fearne's relationship w her dad

yes it was quite clear that the exu part of c3 was railroaded in order to have an excuse for dorian to rejoin bell's hells and you're allowed to be pissed about that but the fact that people turned around and started calling aabria a 'bully' and a 'narcissist' and 'aggressive' immediately skeeved me out

i dont get why people are saying the cast is/appears bored - you're not in their heads and it feels like projecting. saying that sam purposefully killed off his character with a beautiful, amazing speech (imho) because 'he was bored with the way the campaign was going' is frankly, the dumbest fucking thing ive ever heard

followed closely by the 'cr is secretly scripted' comments. wow, i wonder if i should tell them about pro wrestling!(/j)

[skullfaced-fruitcake]

TELL ME MORE ABOUT THE MARINE ARCHIVES AU (I'm using the Eyes power to Compell you and it's working)

OKAY SO BASICALLY. I made this AU because of the dumbest pun imaginable, involving Helen and Melanie.

I’ll show the pun at the end of the post.

Under the cut is an assortment of fish character conversions and headcanons. :)

Melanie King: pufferfish.

Helen Distortion: I originally thought of her as an eel, but later on I changed her character to a catfish. Y’know. (as much as the Distortion can be one single species)

Michael Distortion: cuttlefish. They can change their colors/patterns to deceive prey!

Jonah Magnus: Malawi Eyebiter. This one might be self-explanatory, but I think it’s fun to picture little eyebiter Jonah living inside Eel-Elias’s head. speaking of which,

Elias Bouchard: Green Moray Eel. Did you know that green moray eels aren’t even actually green. How fucked up is that.

Jonathan Sims: Cuatros Ojos (Four Eyes). They technically only have two eyes, but their eyes are split so that they can see above and below the surface of the water!! I think they’re neat. They’re also known for refusing to die when they’re outside of the water and exposed to air.

Nikola Orsinov: clownfish. Pretty self-explanatory, I think.

NotThem: octopus. Slimy little bastards who mimic other animals.

Georgie Barker: jellyfish. It just feels right to me.

That’s as far as I’ve gotten with character conversions, but I also have some random headcanons:

During the fisheyepocalypse, holes in coral could be seen to have eyes peeking out of them.

Allegiances between entities are slightly different! For example:

The Dark and the Stranger kinda band together at the bottom of the ocean, and the Vast is extremely powerful.

The Buried has a lot more to do with water pressure, but many statements that would have been related to heavy rain or getting choked on water now have to do with suffocating on air underwater.

The Hunt now obviously has a lot more to do with underwater predators than wolves and things like that above water. They have more power in this fish world.

The Vast also has pretty easy prey, and avatars sometimes take the shape of very large creatures such as blue whales.

The Slaughter is probably not as powerful here, because I don’t know how many fish go to war with each other…

I’m not gonna lie, I didn’t look up spider fish because that sounds like nightmare fuel to me, but I know that they exist. They scuttle around on the floor, and that’s what the Web embodies itself as, instead of regular spiders.

I think that the Extinction might actually be more powerful here, and may have become a fully fledged Fear. Y’know, because of all the plastic, oil, and general trash that’s contaminating the ocean.

The Corruption probably has a similar influence, but maybe a little less potent because of the lack of hive-minded bugs (at least, I think there are no hive-bugs underwater. I don’t really want to look that up).

I think it’d be really funny if the Spiral just worked like normal, and it opened like, mini doors in coral for fish to swim through.

Although I guess in this AU, there needs to be some sort of institute and fish society. So yeah, the Distortion could function pretty similarly to canon TMA.

As for the Lonely, I think that would work pretty similarly (see above), but its famous fog might not work out underwater. Maybe it just makes the water go really still and cold, indicating the absence of other life-forms.

The Eye is one I’m not so sure about, but if we believe the previous (^^) statement, the Eye might function pretty similarly to canon.

Now I’m gonna include the joke that started this off in the first place, but bear in mind that this might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever thought of….

Fish!Helen: What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fish!Melanie: ... Fish!Helen: A fsh! :)

(I’ll tag you because I know that tumblr can be weird about answered asks. @samwise1548 )

[thy-mission]

Okay talking about laura… ARE YALL SERIOUSSS??? 😭 You are all talking about a 50 year old woman doing her job, can you stop assuming EVERYTHING and just wait for them to explain? Or even if they dont just leave it alone because you are only making it worse. Laura is not getting fired, they LOVE laura. Mary lou loves laura. Have you not seen the way they all are to eachother in videos????? also if they fired her because shes “so awful” how would they be madi’s friend? Theyre like.. BEST friends especially nick and madi and they have been for a long time. Besides all of this stuff that DOESNT MATTER..their bios in instagram still say ztardigital. lets not assume stuff PLEASE, as long as its still there its not confirmed laura is fired. I seriously SERIOUSLY doubt they will fire her… You know they might just be deleting all of their stuff to prove a point but its obviously not working because you are all still being weird about EVERYTHING THE TRIPLETS do!!!!! Like i know my opinion probably doesnt matter but i cant stress enough how annoying it must be for the triplets to be constantly watched by you guys and questioned for EVERYTHING THEY DOOOOO!!!!!!!!! i get it comes with fame but the sturniolo fandom is one of the worst ive seen with trying to get into their personal business and JEALOUSY. “madi’s barely in their videos and its lauras fault!!!” Maybe… its… Your fault????? I dont know not everything has some crazy reason what ever. Just wishing that everyone would stop overthinking stuff and posting things that are not true???? “laurahatetrain” might be one of the dumbest things ive seen in a while though .. anyways this is stupid too and lowkey unnecessary but i cant get it off my head

[dalimoor]

So I did a shiny-only run in SoulSilver

I know, it's probably the dumbest thing I've ever done. But I saw SmallAnt's Shiny-only run and was like 'I want to try that'. My rules were:

-No catching Pokémon unless they were Shiny -No using non-Shiny Pokémon in battle -Must finish the game (all 16 Badges plus defeat Red) with a full team of six Shinies -Receiving non-shiny gift Pokémon is okay, because I needed them for HM purposes Tl;dr - I did it. If you want to know how many resets it took, I didn't count, because I was doing other things at the same time and kept losing count 🤣 So, the first thing to do was to get a starter. HGSS is great because you can see if your starter is Shiny even before you receive it. After resetting a bunch, I finally got one!

...And it's my least favourite of the Johto starters, but beggars can't be choosers. (Also, sorry about the shitty photos, I was playing on real hardware.)

Welcome to the team, Gatorade! So, I decided to go for static or gift Pokémon as it would make resetting for them easier, as SmallAnt did. My next choice was Sudowoodo. He actually came along the weekend I was staying with @runeandmoon for Hyper Japan, so she saw me get him in person!

As you can see, this was five days after starting the game. Not bad, huh? I named him OnTheRocks, and Croconaw was pleased this was no longer a solo run!

Moving on, I headed to visit Bill in Goldenrod, as my next target was Eevee. He arrived sparkling four days later.

I nicknamed him 'Guinness' and eventually evolved him into an Umbreon. I'm naming all my Pokémon after drinks or drink-related things. After Eevee, I picked up the easiest catch in the game that required no resets...

...Seems a little too easy, doesn't it? This is Red Bull. I used her for a while, but eventually she was fully replaced by a more 'legit' Shiny and became just a HM slave. Our next proper team member was found in the Rocket Hideout.

Ramune the Voltorb! I forgot to take a photo of its status screen after catching it, but it was caught five days after I got Eevee. I didn't get another team member until after getting all eight Johto Badges. I was actually gunning for the Extreme Speed Dratini from the Dragon Master, but in the end, I changed my mind and went to the Game Corner instead. That way I was able to check five Dratini at once. It was probably a bad idea to change my mind half-way through, as this one took ten days to get.

Eventually, MonsterNRG arrived shining! We were so close to being done now! I could have just stopped here, as with Gyarados I did have six Pokémon, but where's the fun in that? Nope, I knew exactly who team member nuber six had to be...

LUGIA!!

Five days later, P. (Pink) Lemonade joined the party! Now I had my actual full team, it was time to challenge the Elite 4!

It was tough, because I was pretty underlevelled, but I did it.

How cool it was to see a full shiny team enter the Hall of Fame! Going around Kanto was a fairly breezy job, until I got to Red. I was badly, badly under-levelled for him, and it took forever, and a lot of healing items, but he too eventually went down.

I was too slow to catch the actual 'you defeated Red!' text when taking the photo 🤣

And there it was, my Shiny-only run of SoulSilver. I had a lot of fun, but I don't recommend anyone else doing this. I didn't count my resets, but I must've got extremely lucky, as I finished the run in barely a month. Now, what kind of run to do next...?

[panie-wanie-dean-bean]

Ahh im sorry! My brain couldnt think of anything specific and fluffy despite wanting to, but i did send a nonny ask a while of go about a hypothetical scenario with Mansion Hybrid bois au in mind that didnt get posted so i was wondering if it'd be okay to ask u again here?

ITS LONG

In this hypothetical, MC is poly-sapphic-bi who absolutely Adores the Boys but goes on that 7 day business trip, and the business trip was actually a 'Hybrid Rights' conference, and they meet the absolute coolest(hottest) Hybrid rights activist lesbian who is a human, whom they develop a mega huge crush on her but she's just oblivious to it? And they invite her over for dinner to meet the boys and discuss some things

Around the Boys, MC is usually confident and in control, but around the activist, they become a blushing puddle of a yes-man no matter how ridiculous the idea

Bo probably who doesnt understand what the business dinner is about: oh! What if nachos were a hat?

MC dry affectionate: Bo honey that's the dumbest-

Activist (obviously joking): I think that's a great idea

MC melting into a puddle assuming she's serious: I-Yes! that is- Yknow I always thought that,, hot melted cheese should be closer,, to the scalp i mean 3rd degree burns aside u can always-you dont need to worry about uhm...perming-

Activist: *laughs* ur hilarious man, I love hangin out with you

MC (red as Jean and Ian's hair): I-well, Yeah! I love you-t-HANGING OUT- hanging out with you-As well, also, too, we're..*bi finger guns* so cool, together-but more like as friends together not married together unless u know u want to, together-

Activist *laughs again*

The Boys probably: -side eye-

Kinda similar to that Poison Ivy meets Catwoman scene in Harley Quinn As Im sure all queer sapphics can relate to, at least once in their life!

https://youtu.be/idB_9-X3xLM?si=jLOI_uy-5NllP-nt

But I digress I understand that the boys r distrustful of humans so would they try to manipulate MC somehow through the Activist or would their jealousy send them into murderous contempt?

Oh, they fucking hate this woman. First she rips you away from them for a whole week and now she just waltzes in like she owns the place? Like she owns you? This shit won't stand

Ian usually prefers more feminine clothes but he goes all out for this, wearing that beautiful dress you got him, and if you look close enough, that cute set of lingerie you've been waiting to see him in. If fem is what you want then fem is what you'll get. If he ever thinks the two of you are getting a bit too chummy he'll "accidently" cut his finger and let the tears flow so you're too focused on helping him to see the daggers he's starring at her

Jean is also very active during the dinner, constantly bringing up your relationship with all of them and how happy you are with them. If you try to ignore him he'll simply get up and walk behind you, glaring at the woman while he suckles on your neck

Jack, Shaun, and even Joseph are constantly showing off how strong they are in lightly concealed threats, Rory keeps asking if you're enjoying his cooking, Bo's got a low growl going on the whole time, and Nick's wings are puffed up for a fight

The only person who isn't there is Berry because he's too busy looking for dirt on this woman. And oh boy once he finds it he'll make a whole case file for it and confront he with it. Whether that confrontation happens in front of you or not depends on if that information would make you think less of her. If not he does it in privet

Needless to say, she's not welcome back

[starscelly]

curious about early days vibes for the flying stars if you have more thoughts about that. like it sounds like they go from being two sets of two weirdos to being a set of four weirdos all together and that seems like it would be a bit of a process

oh it is. absolutely a Whole process. like already the friendship btwn robo and otter with roope is. weird. because those two have their own longer history and um. deeper. connection. but roope is good and has amazing stage presence and promised them a bassist so they kind of. brute force their way through it.

and roope isn’t Bad company, he’s just. not the easiest to connect to? and they think it’s a language barrier thing, or maybe he’s just like that but no. his english is like great for the most part and he seems silly and fun with his other friends. but they find out after playing together a bit that he and robo have Electric chemistry. like their styles play off each other really well in every way. so while roope still absolutely fucking refuses to give into north american ideas of politeness (why would i ask how you are if i don’t care. just because we’re in a space together for a few minutes doesn’t mean we have to introduce ourselves when we’re strangers. dont talk to me) he does let them in a bit more over the few weeks they exist pre-miro.

and then they find out miro isn’t just a random bassist he knows Here but a bassist from Back Home. like finland home. and they’re like??? maybe we should meet him first? like call or text or something at least? is he already flying out here?? wdym you dont know anyone else more. idk. in america? and roopes like. okay shut up no he’s good. you’ll see you’ll get it. and also yeah he already booked his flight soo. and then when miro Does finally get to the states and they organize a little meet up it completely changes their perspective on roope because like. okay they thought they made Progress. they cracked through that shell and could unlock the roope they saw with his other friends. Wrong. they saw roope mostly with american friends. they are not prepared for the loud ass rapid fire finnish that he and miro break into, or the clear ease in the way they interact, in general and physically. and theyre like :/ oh maybe we didnt unlock shit and this is gonna be awful and awkward as we feared.

so despite the fears that miro is gonna be as stand offish as roope felt at the start, they actually get along really well with him off the bat, like he comes off much friendlier, and sure he’s a little quiet but its not like. Concerning. and roope was right. he IS really good and they DO get it. for the first little while it is for sure like, two separate weird duos that just kind of seem friendly with each other - not helped by the fact that miro is living with roope while otter is sorting out school stuff and robo is in and out of the state for a bit - but once they’re all able to Solidly be together otter realizes like. wait a fucking minute. miro isn’t nice. roope hasn’t gotten nicer. they’re just Secretly being assholes together.

this realization of course brought on when robo asks possibly the dumbest shit he’s ever heard in his life during practice and miro just hits him with a “yeah of course (:” as if he doesn’t deserve to get torn apart for saying it. and wow miro says that a lot. they thought it was a weird filler but No he’s just making fun of them to their face and roope is just giggling along with him. and ofc when this is called out miro is like “no no i was just trying not to hurt ur feelings 🤗” and even if that was believable roope starts blowing up his spot chuckling anyways So.

so once That is put out there things sloowly start clicking into place because they’re like. okay we get your stupid sense of humor now. we can work with this. and miro IS more willing to conform to american politness which probably soothes otter’s midwestern soul a little. and because of this they do find it easier to get close to miro, and through like. osmosis or whatever robo and otter grow on roope as well. and it Cannot be denied that robo and roope’s insane chemistry on stage can be carried on offstage….. to say the least .

so basically through the powers of being so stubborn and gay and mean. they can all b friends <3 and maybe friends who kiss <3