#this is probably a bit rambly because I keep losing my train of thought

[heartless-aro]

ily just saying this bc i think this reading of the story is a little concerning- saiki is not "apl coded" and expresses desire to make friends and be around people many times, its a litttleeee 🤏 bit concerning that lots of peeps watch it and take him seriously when he says he doesnt care abt friendship even after he talks abt the trauma that made him stop outwardly expressing his true desires and later realizes he can still be loved and its okay for him to love

that boy wants his friends very badly and loves them to death

Honestly, I think part of the reason I personally interpret him as apl is because what you just described is very similar to how I experience my own aplatonicism. This might be because my aplatonicism is not something that can be fully separated from my schizoid and avoidant personality disorders (which together cause me to experience extreme detachment both from my emotions and from other people). For me personally, any platonic attraction that I feel fades pretty much immediately once I get past the “talking to someone for the first few times” stage of making friends and into the “forming an actual close relationship with that person” stage. I do still have a handful of friends who I care about, but I don’t tend to have the desire to reach out to them, and I have a bad habit of isolating myself from them. (I am aware that this is not healthy behavior. It is, after all, as much a result of my personality disorders as it is my aplatonicism. It’s difficult, but I do strive to avoid indulging in self isolation too often, because I’m aware that it could affect my friends negatively if I don’t put forth effort in our relationships.).

I interpret Saiki as being somewhat similar in the sense that, while he does clearly care about his friends, I also think he experiences platonic feelings in a non-normative way (expressed through his tendency towards social avoidance) due to his trauma. Because of this, I see him as falling somewhere on the aplatonic spectrum, even though he isn’t fully disinterested in connecting with others platonically.

[findingmelissa]

"Running should be about self love, not self punishment."

I had this thought yesterday when I was running my 4 miles. Such a great run. It helps that it's finally cold out and my legs and lungs were happy. Everything just felt good. I even had a great for me pace right now, without even trying. And as I was on my last quarter mile or so, I had that thought. It made me smile so big.

I spent 2022 running 2000 miles and, in the beginning, I was happy to do it. But by about mid-summer, my back and legs were in so much pain. I remember going to San Diego in August and a housewarming party in September and not being able to stand for long periods (which I usually do at social gatherings), having to sit down just to alleviate my back issues. By December, I was experiencing tingling in my feet and legs. I also HATED running. I never felt so much loathing for it before.

In 2023, I decided to keep going, at least long enough to finish a 5-year running streak. The tingling got worse, spreading to my arms and face. It got so bad later in the year, in my head and neck, that I was virtually immobile for a few weeks. (Granted, I fully believe now that some of that was mental stress-related, but I think some of it was prompted by physical stress). And I still hated every minute on my feet.

Late 2023 through 2024, I was determined to continue because I needed to lose weight. But I was still miserable on every run. I have this path that I typically take from my house, where I go a tenth of a mile to the corner and then turn right to start running into the bulk of my neighborhood. Every day, I would hit that corner and turn right, and just want to STOP. I dreaded it.

But I kept doing it. Until I completely fucked up my ankle in June, which was probably one of the best things that could have happened to me. Something finally, literally, stopped me in my tracks.

I look back at that few years and just think... what was I punishing myself for? Drinking and smoking? Gaining 30 pounds? I thought that was why. But I think it's deeper than that. It goes back to the traumas that I am now dealing with, and with thinking that I am A Terrible Person. My self-esteem was sooooo low for so long. Running was something I could do to make me look healthy on the outside, but I could feel how much I was doing it to punish myself for my perceived awfulness, in every way. So wrong.

Things are so different now. Getting the bike helped in and of itself because it finally gave me something different to do. But beyond that, all the work I am doing on myself internally is really manifesting itself in my workouts. I am no longer punishing myself because I no longer think I am a terrible person. And so I am enjoying everything I choose to do, with no pressure or obligation. Just... taking care of myself and loving the feeling of doing it. Whether it's getting on the bike and watching History Channel documentaries, running, walking, strength training, I am loving it.

And, go figure, I am losing weight continually, even though I am not running myself into the ground every day. Because my focus is on taking care of myself - which includes physical activity, no alcohol, better food, better sleep. Like most things in life, it takes healing from the inside out. I always knew this about weight loss - it's what I did in 2012-2013 - but I think the lesson is settling in a lot deeper this time because I am confronting the real root causes.

Anyway. Bit of a ramble. But I wanted to get this down before it slipped away from me.

Running should be about self love.

:)

[divine-misfortune]

your tags on crim’s dew packer post…. would you care to elaborate ? 👀

oh i am SO glad you asked!! I was actually going to throw these thoughts into Crim's ask box but I can put em here-

okay so? The packer post? T4T raindrop? Yeah. I have two different trains of thought here so please bear with me because I'm gonna be a little (very) rambly.

@crimsonclergy stop making me think weird things about raindrop :/ /j/j/j

On one hand? I love the idea of Rain feeding into Dew and all his bragging. He loves how flustered Dew gets, how his confidence wavers and he begins to stammer...Rain is obsessed with it, or maybe he's just obsessed with Dew, a little bit of both probably.

He'll kneel in front of him and nuzzle his cheek against the front of Dew's pants, make a show of mouthing him through the fabric. Cooing over how perfect his dick is, oh it's all for me isn't it baby?

Dew starts to lose his pride when stripped down out of his boxers because he isn't able to hide behind it but Rain's enthusiasm doesn't falter. He still instinctually goes to get the strap when Rain begs him to fuck him, but Rain tugs him back to bed when he gets up because no, he wants his cock.

Just slottng their hips together, a mess of slick and heat between their thighs. Dew's t-dick dragging between Rain's folds, occasionally catching against his twitching hole. Rain has this pleased look on his face, a kitten curl to his lips as he goes on and on about how good his cock feels. Dew just gets more and more red, can't even hide his face in his hands, they're occupied holding Rain in place. He still tries to avert his eyes because the look on Rain's face is too much. I'm sure Rain doesn't let him turn away long, guides his face back to look at him. Maybe he makes Dew stare at the place their bodies meet, watch how that big dick fucks him.

BUT on the other hand?

There's so much room for humiliation here.

Dew is so much talk, so arrogant. What if he can't deliver?

Rain's entertained him and his ramblings but he seems to get a little shy when Rain tries to make him back it up. He'll palm him through his pants and seem so excited by the idea of getting his hands on his that big cock...But Dew gets too flustered, always backs off, and Rain finds it funny. It's a game to him and he is winning

But backed against a wall, Dew can't shy away from Rain's excessive touching. The little bit of pressure from his packer pressing into him makes it hard to keep his composure. Rain plays it up, whines into his neck, pulls their bodies flush, tells him all about how bad he needs him until he has Dew in the palm of his hand.

The clothes come off and Rain's expression twists. Confusion and dissapointment as he sits between Dew's spread legs. He strokes his fingers over his fattened clit and frowns when Dew gasps over the light touches.

"You call this big?"

And Dew stammers.

"Oh sweetheart, look at you...So small and sensitive," he almost sounds pitying as he strokes his clit between his thumb and forefinger. "I thought you were gonna use my mouth, make me gag on it, but its so little...I'm not even sure you could fuck me with it."

Dew argues, or tries to. Rain seems bored as he idly plays with him.

"You wanted to fuck me, didn't you baby?"

He flushes darker somehow and nods which makes Rain perk up a little.

Before Dew knows it, Rain's wrangled him into a harness, some ridiculously sized dildo held in place. And Rain sinks down on it with an exaggerated sigh of relief, and moans so pretty when it bottoms out. He takes Dew's hand and holds it aginst his lower belly with a chuckle.

"See? This is what a big dick feels like...You couldn't fill me like this, could you? That's okay, you can still be useful...All you need to do is just lay there for me, and maybe later you can show me how you stroke your pretty little cock." He smiles so sweetly, too much emphasis on the little but something in Dew's stomach tightens, he drips uselessly down his thighs and lets Rain have his fill.

[what-is-this-about]

For the Next in Line AU, how often does Molly switch for her regular ghost form to her apprentice form, and is there an inbetween?

I uh, I was not expecting to get an ask about this AU (O_O') (tho feel free to send 'em if you have any other questions). Mostly because I get the feeling I gave too little information about it when I made that post. (In this situations, I either barf the whole plot, or I compress stuff so much that barely anything makes any sense at all. I tried for the middle ground, but I'm pretty sure I failed 😮‍💨🤷🏻‍♂️)

I'm still shaking a bit 😂

WARNING: I'm about to ramble, so some of the information might be a bit disjointed

Anyway, to answer your question:

On a daily basis after accepting The Chairman's offer (she has lessons to attend to, about stuff like the Ghost World's History and its laws, paranormal threats & imbalance and how to deal with them, etc. The Ruler position is no joke: they have to care for a lot of souls), with her soul going to the Ghost World while her body, which is a lot more self sufficient than in canon, goes to school. And no, there's no in between form.

But the tall fiery ghost you're (probably) thinking about is not Molly's apprentice form

This is Molly's apprentice form:

The most nondescript ghost you could imagine

A white sheet (a special garment simply known as The White Sheet (I'm bad at coming up with names) which both let's everyone know the ghost wearing it is the potential future leader of the Ghost World, and keeps their actual identity a secret, preventing anyone from learning the pupil's identity unless they tell that person themselves (this is mostly to give them the option of having a private life afterlife). It also gives a boost to the apprentice's power, making it reach it's peak faster than it would've done naturally, but by no means increasing the amount of power per say, all while keeping said power from getting out of control by keeping the apprentice from accessing most of it. At least, until they overpower it, losing their pupil form as a consequence, but also gaining their leader form (which still hides their identity). Molly achieves this a lot sooner than what The Chairman anticipated (around a literal century), due to an incident involving a lot of flaming skeletons, a panicking swoopy haired boy, and a bony jerk (but this getting long enough as it is, so I'll talk about that in another occasion), and with it came an unforeseen issue. That being that you can't really fit more than around five souls inside the same living body without said body getting permanent sequels, and anything above ten will cause the body to straight up explode. Molly's soul is currently (as in, at the time they discover the issue) as potent as a hundred average human souls. Because it is her body, it has a built in resistance to her own intensity, but there's a limit to it. This means that Molly goes from having the option of splitting herself whenever she feels like it, to needing to remain separate for at least long enough for her body to recover from the strain that containing her own soul puts it through. Unless she's fine with incinerating herself from the inside out 😐🤷🏻‍♂️ (my train of thought has officially derailed. Wrre the hell was I?)

Ah right: nondescript lookin' ghost, covered with a white sheet, wearing three shackles (that drag them straight to their mentor if they go scare mode while in pupil form. They are training to be leader of the Ghost World, and they should be a role model, so they must have a good reason to do that unless they wanna get in trouble for abusing their (tentative (being a pupil, or even getting a leader form, doesn't guarantee becoming ruler. Lord Doom would know)) position), black, empty sockets with white lights for pupils, and no remarkable facial features.

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

You ever read your own story and remember how GOOD it is, actually?

(hi i'm gonna ramble about ddd for a minute here.)

I always forget how SMOOTH the escalation in DDD is! It starts out as ''Dove's not disciplined enough in training so she can't get her powers to work right'', then "oops she keeps breaking things with her powers because she can't get her emotions under control", and evolves into "animals get hurt", and then ''she's murdering people", but even the murders have escalation! Starting off with one that's so nebulous she thinks it was probably a dream, until her emoticlone is like ''No, that was real." And at the chapter I'm reading now (15 or 16?), she's VERY present in the moment and very consciously Making It Sadistic and Having Fun.

Also, the TAKEOVER! She starts out denying anything is wrong, then kinda being like "Okay SOMETHING went wrong there but it's fine, it's over", and then "oh god I hope that doesn't happen again" and then she's desperately trying to STOP it but she doesn't know HOW. And then later she's going to lose all hope and stop bothering to try because she can never win, anyways.

Also, the murder scene with the children is like. Almost indulgently heavy-handed with how it characterizes her mindset so DIFFERENTLY. Even the word-choice and things she's paying attention to, the things she dismisses. Her confidence and pride in the demon mindset comes through so CLEARLY! You really can tell something's VERY DIFFERENT about her!

And the conflict with Raven! It starts out with Dove feeling embarrassed because she can't do what Raven's instructing her in training, and it starts escalating with "now she's losing control of her powers and Raven is frustrated because Dove's not doing what she's telling her to", and then Raven starts picking up on clues that Something's Very Wrong. And tries reaching out. Tries asking about it. But Dove clams up and won't tell her what's going on because she can't bear the thought of Raven being angry at her, or disappointed. Which of course only frustrates Raven further. And Dove can tell. And the shame makes her withdraw even harder, which makes Raven more suspicious, and it's just this vicious downward spiral.

Like! I often get caught up in "holy shit I wrote a story where people get murdered by an absolute pacifist" but it's ACTUALLY really well transitioned? All those hours I spent reading and re-reading the individual scenes before putting them in order, re-organizing them, and making sure it made sense and transitioned from one phase to the next as smoothly as I wanted... It Worked. It really, really WORKED.

(Also, I really like my version of Raven, okay. She has the impatience and brevity of the cartoon version, but the concern and compassion of the comic version. Her powers have the distinct creepy visuals of the cartoon but it's described with the mysterious power of the comics. She's every bit as reticent as the cartoon [which she also is in the comics, let's be real] but also every bit as invested as she is in the comics. She CARES, but she doesn't really know how to show it. I Love My Raven So Much, Guys. She's a custom blend specifically to please me, really, but I am SO VERY PLEASED.)

It starts out seeming like it's just minor everyday hassles and evolves into DOVE IS KILLING PEOPLE.

This fricking story, guys.

I'm so proud of DDD.

[adiosterror]

A bit of a ramble of Egbert powerscaling, if you will

My previous reblog is my second writing of the text lmao, I went on a bit of a ramble about John and the more horror side of him that people like to delve into

Me personally, I ADORE that stuff, and I went on about how underwhelming people scare-ify him compared to where he's ACTUALLY powerscaled to be

John is a ridiculously powerful character, and I'm hoping that's a common opinion because god damn is that true,, he's probably the strongest of everyone, overall speaking

His abilities to manipulate the canon at will, everything regarding being an Heir of Breath both physically and in representation (he can't even bleed, dude! it's just wind!), and, oh yeah! THESE BREATH ABILITIES CAN PATCH HOLES IN DOOMED TIMELINES?!?!?! And frankly? That's terrifying, if anything, we're lucky he's just depressed instead of losing his mind

Now for the tasty part, the self indulgence,,

Let's say, hypothetically, John DID lose his mind one way or another, at least somewhatl

Do you REALIZE how screwed you are if John decided one day that he's just sick of everything? For pov's sake, everything but you. He can keep you wherever he wants you to be, he could rewrite your story and change your thoughts to where you wouldn't even think twice about fighting back

Let's say hypothetically that you did somehow fight back, you're running off back to wherever safety is, HE'S THE FUCKING WIND DUDE!! He can sense you moving, he can feel you breathing, hell, he IS the air you breathe, literally

The only person who could probably rival his power is either Lord English or Ultimate Dirk if we're stretching it, and shout this out for the ones in the back, that is a LORD and an ULTIMATE!!! An ultimate Prince, no less

I mean, a Lord of Time is still a huge deal but this is a Lord of Time and literally hundreds if not MILLIONS of Princes of Heart who can manipulate people's thoughts and actions in real time! And guess who John kicked the ass of? Lord English. Specifically. Not really Dirk, I don't think he's too focused on whatever that guy's doing in the story right now, busy being,,, uh,,,, dead,,,, but you get the idea. (man, that just fumbled that whole argument huh)

I digress, people really don't delve into John's full potential of being a horror concept, because he could seriously terrifying to deal with if he wasn't a divorced father who completely lost sight of who he was, so y'know, the other infinite timelines that exist

One of them's gotta have a John that just LOSES IT, and I'd really love to see where people could go with that,,, I eat up all those Ultimate John concepts and designs, and I think that's a step in the right direction, except I think it's mainly for Dirkjohn yaoi from what I've seen

Hi, Me thirty minutes in the future here, I'm so sorry and I totally lost my train of thought looking at pictures of him and Ultimate designs

Here's the best ones I found on a reddit post, I'm so so sorry that I totally forgot what I was saying but I hope you catch my drift

May possibly come back to this when I actually have something interesting for the table? Who knows

To conclude uhhh,,,,, ehehe,,, do you think if john was an ultimate that he would still like meee :333

[ocqueen]

CW detailed discussion of weight loss/gain, chronic health, and disordered eating

Normally I'd post this type of stuff on my journal blog never to be seen again, but hey. I'm feeling bold and weirdly okay about people I know reading this, and it might be insightful for some other people, too.

A long rambling story about weight and physical/mental health, chronic illness, changing bodies, and roads to recovery

I've just hit a really significant physical milestone for me where I can see myself gaining weight. I don't keep a scale (my mom didn't allow them in the house growing up and I never got one for myself), so I don't know if it's backed up by numbers, but it's enough to where I'm actually filling out my bras, developing a stomach and an ass, can't feel my sharp hip bones or ribs jutting out anymore. It's... weird. I finally get people's insecurities about NOT being twiggy thin like I used to be, can feel those thoughts creeping in already even as a still very thin person every time I struggle to get my new butt into my old size 0 pants, but at the same time there's something a bit joyful about being able to see a body that's taking up more space and changing with my age and what that means about my personal health and recovery in general.

I've been stick thin ever since I was a kid, and as I went through college it was very clear that I wasn't going to get a 'freshman fifteen' - and then just about the same time equally as clear that the reason for that was because I was very chronically ill, violently depressed, and stressed out of my mind in a high-pressure program, all of which meant I had a low appetite and lost a lot of weight. The fabled 'freshman fifteen' was actually there, just keeping me at a baseline thin instead of dropping me off a cliff into more dangerously underweight. Even with it, I was starting to have attacks of hypothermia from lack of fat to keep myself warm, and had to start dressing in heavy layers - something my GP originally couldn't explain.

I've struggled since my diagnoses with managing my health, and a lot with gaining - and keeping - weight. I'd go through periods of weight gain as my conditions were in remission or I better managed my stress levels, only to have a health flare or a bout of deadlines and anxieties and lose it all again. I've barely ever managed to hit my goal weight, and when I did it was probably only for about two weeks. I live in constant fear of falling below 100 pounds again now that I finally managed to get myself over it, to the point where I refused to exercise at all and risk accidentally losing more of what little weight I had, despite it being bad for other areas of my health and well being.

I also tend towards disordered eating since I was a teen, especially once I lost the structures of school, and hate having to feed myself - cooking feels like a drudgery and a chore, and eating out was too expensive and wasteful, so I often forgot or forewent it intentionally - something I did more often in school and during my stints working in television. Eating got put to the wayside, in favor of 'productive tasks' and 'saving money' (as if eating to fuel your body wasn't productive enough). I got headaches, shakes, fatigue, all from not eating enough, and it got bad enough that eventually I got an app specifically to track my calories, which revealed how horrible I've been with fueling my body or eating enough to maintain weight. I tried to change, force myself to eat, and for a time it worked, but I always ended up forgetting and falling back onto old habits.

Now, years later, I've adapted. I eat three meals a day because I have a new job with a time structure, I've learned to intentionally eat more calorie-dense foods to make up for eating less, and I snack when I remember to and keep fruit and packaged snacks around that are easy to grab. I've taught myself to be okay eating takeout if I don't have the energy to cook and I exercise doing strength training and yoga to gain muscle without losing weight (though my current job is quite sedentary and I should probably be doing more cardio, haha). Many of my health conditions are getting better with managed treatment, even while others might worsen, and the main culprits for my medical weight loss have slowly been brought to heel and monitored closely. I'm even on a few meds with a side effect of weight gain, which has helped out, too.

And with all of that together... I think we've finally moved past maintenance. I looked in the mirror the other day and I had a real, true stomach, and smooth bumps at my hips instead of jutting bone, and while it caught me off guard I'm slowly coming to enjoy it instead of fear it. My waist isn't so wasp-thin anymore, filled out by fat or muscle, and it's unclear which but I don't care right now. My face is less gaunt, I look less tired (my mom tells me how much better I look), I'm getting fewer unexplained bouts of hypothermia and I know where my late afternoon headaches are from and can make sure they don't happen anymore. It's surreal to me, like I'm a different person, and while it's a lot of work to manageI know that it's healthier this way. My doctors are now worried about me gaining too MUCH weight, but I'm just happy to settle into a new body for a bit - one that might be able to help carry me wherever I need to go, and one I might be able to treat a bit better in the future if I make sure I don't forget it. It's part of my recovery, not only with my physical health, but a sign of moving past and managing my fast-inducing depression and anxiety, too, and that alone is enough to make me happier than I could have thought a little bit of fat could do.

Anyways, recovery looks a lot of different ways for a lot of different people, but this is mine, and it's something I've been thinking about a lot lately as I go through chronic health flares and scares related to other things. It's a small victory for me that I hope can usher in a few larger ones in the future, and pave the way for something more.

[ankhisms]

im thinking of gobusters (as i often do) but more specifically thinking about the original tragedy that pushes the rest of the story forward. rest of my rambling under the cut its not too long but i dont want to clog up peoples dashes

when i first watched all the way thru gobusters i was more focused on what youko and hiromu lost on that day, not to say that i wasnt focused on ryuuji or didnt care about him because i did care about him but i think it was easier for me to be a bit more overwhelmed by the story of two very young children losing their parents in a horrible accident. and i was thinking, presumably ryuujis parents are still alive, unlike youko and hiromu he doesnt lose his parents in the tragedy. we never really see his parents so sometimes its kind of easy to assume that ryuuji has lost his parents as well but thats not the case. and for a minute i was like okay but he lost somebody right who did he lose and then it hit me that it was his mentor figure that he lost, jin. i had already put plenty of thought into jins character and his relationships with the main trio along with kuroki (because i love jin hes so good) but again because of being swept up in the tragedy of youko and hiromus parents i feel like i didnt fully process what ryuuji must have been going through until just now. ive talked before about how compared to youko and hiromu, ryuuji was able to have a normal childhood and first few teenage years before the messiah accident happened and life became about training. but even having a normal childhood and a few teenage years doesnt erase the fact that ryuuji as a teen had his mentor die and was very suddenly in a position of having to take care of and raise a young girl. ive mentioned this a few times but around 2020 my own mentor figure passed away and despite having complicated feelings about him as i got older he still was incredibly important in my life and im still grieving him, so thinking about ryuuji losing jin like that as a teen... its gotta be earth shattering, but hes still gotta keep himself relatively together for youko. raising a kid when you yourself are still basically one is hard, and that definitely also probably was a challenge for ryuuji as well, but thats not to say that his relationship with youko is a negative thing. if anything i would say she was probably the light in that dark time, the familial and sibling relationship youko and ryuuji have (along with the familial relationship all of the gobusters have but im focusing more on ryuuji and youko here) is really part of the heart of this show- and i think its a good parallel/narrative foil for the relationship that escape and enter have but thats a whole other post. ive started to lose my train of thought but im just thinking about how ryuuji may have not lost his parents that day 13 years ago but he still experienced a huge loss of someone very important to him and at the same time gained a whole new set of responsibilities where he very suddenly has to be more grown up and care for someone whos relying on him.

[attourney-at-lycan]

i want to talk about zane. (yes i just woke up and my first thought was block people)

tw men: physical and verbal abuse

in my rewrite i played a lot into his role as a priest as well his relationship with his family.

i believe garte taught zane to care a lot for his country and only his country. and hear me out it kinda works?

zane’s goal throughout the whole series is to gain power, he’s obsessed with power but why? no one’s born evil overnight and why would garte teach a kid to be cruel for no reason? and why zane of all his kids? why not garroth, what as different about garroth that he had to teach to zane?

anyway, questions aside, yeah- i believe zane genuinely loves his country and maybe grew up to believe that he should grow up to protect it. however he didn’t believe he was the one to be in power because that was garroth’s job. i think as envious as he was, he still thought garroth was sort of fitting to be a king, albeit a little too kind to others, he believed he himself could fill the role.

so god, imagine the anger and betrayal he felt when garroth ran away because he couldn’t marry someone. because he couldn’t commit to being lord (or king idk). because he didn’t care about o’khasis.

god that made no fucking sense oh my god.

aLSO- need for power could come from garte. i think garte is the type to believe that you have to beat someone down for them to grow stronger. i mean he didn’t do that with garroth and look how he turned out-

so i would not be shocked if garte would berate zane for being weak, or if he would start using physical abuse as a way to train “endurance”.

bro im so sorry im absolutely out order with my rants i keep losing track of shit-

ummm- recap, zane’s obsession with power grew because garte belittled him and raised to believe that o’khasis was the best place ever and that he should want to make it even better place. he wants to be powerful for both his father’s approval and for the better of the kingdom.

yes okay good recap, me.

back to zane being a priest thing. because garroth is gone, zane takes it upon himself to help o’khasis’ growth. he was already a priest by the time garroth ran away and didn’t feel like he’d fit as a king, so he decided to push for putting the church into government.

he was just your average human in physical talent, but he was extremely talented in getting people to listen to him, to believe what he says. and this is what i where i want to get with my biggest problem with zane in mcd.

zane’s a priest, he’s not supposed to be outwardly evil in public. im probably wrong but i don’t remember the people of o’khasis being scared or hating on zane- heck when he puts the city on lockdown, people listen to him.

so in my rewrite, zane has a fucking gilb tongue. he plays the extremely caring priest to his people (which i believe he cares for.. at first, and i’ll get to that in a bit) and when it comes to diplomatic shit, making deals with nobles, he knows how to manipulate them, butter them up with… just a couple words.

basically zane manipulates mansplains malewife /hj

what else did i want to talk about.

OH yeah- i also wanted to talk about garte. apparently he had a “near death experience” that ‘corrupted’ him because apparently this was why he treated vlyad like shit and fucked up zane.

and now im thinking, this was probably going to be a plot device to use later on because why would they specify this near death experience. my theory is that he’s a shadow knight. only thing that can pop into my head right now. either that or he didn’t have a near death experience because some abusers tend to flip flop attitudes a lot.

anyway, my brain isnt giving me any more on zane and im so sorry this was such a disorganized ramble- but idk as much as i kove mcd zane, i want to make him more than a grr evil power hungry priest who likes horsies because he deserves more! in my rewrite he’s someone who cares a lot about those he sworn to protect, very much like his brother, except his way to go about it.. grow a “bit” obsessive and it ends up causing mass murder and destruction because it doesn’t matter, they’re not the people he cares about and they’re in his way of getting the power he wants.

ok zane ramble over

[senseiwu]

May we have a bullet list of what exactly has changed in the "Family AU"? I'm very intrigued to want to learn more 👀👀

Oooo okay so

We got Goldsmithshipping (Ray/Wu/Maya). They've been married since some time after the Serpentine War.

After Ray and Maya disappeared, Kai and Nya lived with Wu at the monastery. This was after Garmadon's banishment; he couldn't lose his brother, partners, and his children, too.... Kai and Nya don't grow up alone, but still miss their missing parents terribly.

I've taken the character of Lar from one of the books and turned him into my own thing. he's mine now <3 He is the youngest of the Smith siblings, and Wu is his biological father (though that's not something this family cares about much; no one is 'less' of anyone's parent or anything like that, and Ray and Wu love all three kids the same. Should hopefully be obvious, but I wanted to make that clear ^-^; )

HOWEVER, Wu, Kai and Nya don't know about Lar; Maya only found out she was pregnant just before Krux took her and Ray, and so he was born in the swamp.

Krux knew he wouldn't be able to use Kai and Nya as leverage over Ray and Maya for long before they with Wu (he made sure to come on a day Wu wasn't home, that would ruin his plans). He'd planned to keep up this false friendship to stay close to the children in case Ray and Maya disobeyed him or anything, but Maya pleading with him not to take her because she's pregnant and he "can't do this!" gave him the perfect thing to continue ensuring he held power over them.

Lar being there kinda makes the scene where Kai confronts Ray in S7 worse.

He comes with Ray and Maya too during the events of Seabound. He's not gonna miss a chance to help his big sister :)

Hmm I'm trying to think of what else is notably different... OH!

Kai and Nya likely knew Cole as kids; their parents were friends and Lilly was one of the only people Wu trusted enough to leave Kai and Nya with while he'd go and search for Ray and Maya. (Lou kinda distanced them both from everything when Lilly passed, and... Cole did not recognise Wu until he sees him with the now grown up Kai and Nya)

Misako has been there quite a bit for the ninja in the show, but she and Nya at least would be a lot closer, since they're neice and aunt after all.

The events of the pilots happen a bit differently too, mostly because Kai already knows the team, he had just not been too motivated in his training until Garmadon had Nya kidnapped.

Garmadon being his uncle, imo, makes the whole Kai distrusting him in S1 both kinda funny, and sad too

Kai and Nya are probably a little more personally invested in the events with the SOG; that's their uncle.

I can't really think of any other major changes, the plot pretty much stays the same... I do like to delve into how Krux's actions affected Ray, Maya and Lar though, and how they're recovering (or in Lar's case, adjusting to normal life).

......if I continue I'm just gonna ramble about Family AU forever 😅 I love it a lot. It used to be called Two Dads AU (im soooo creative with names lmao) back when it was just ray/maya (do they have a ship name??? steamshipping????) and ray/wu but then i thought, 'hey, y'know what.....'

There's also a kinda spinoff version of this au, Happy Family AU, where as little angst as possible happens, back with Kai, Nya and Lar as small kids. Morro and Zane are also there. THere's a basic rundown here.

Anything I post regarding to this AU is tagged 'family au'! It's probably my favourite of all the AUs I've come up with. Lots of angst, but also fluff and sweet moments, tense moments, angst.....

[thevoidfishsminstrel]

Lena let out an undignified squeak as she grabbed hold of the bookshelf beside her in an effort to not land on her face.

“I’m so sorry! Are you okay?”

Lena turned, wiggling her foot back into her heels properly, before freezing, eyes widening at the caped figure now scrambling to her feet.

An array of books and magazines were spread out on the floor, presumably the culprit of her latest near death experience. It was as though National City’s newly revealed superhero had been sitting in between the bookshelves on the library floor… studying?

Lena clutched the cheesy romance novel she had been too busy reading to her chest as Supergirl looked at her in concern.

“Miss?”

Lena’s brain finally restarted and she cleared her throat, straightening her blazer. “Yes. I’m fine. Thank you.”

“You’re sure you’re not hurt?” Supergirl was wringing the edge of her cape in her fingers, looking far too nervous for someone who was suspected to be the strongest being on Earth by several sapphic blogs that Lena most definitely did not read.

“I’m fine.” She reached out to put a hand on Supergirl’s forearm in an impulse comfort gesture. “I promise.”

Supergirl seemed to relax slightly, some of the tension seeping from her shoulders. She held out a hand. “I’m Kara.”

Any tension that had left her immediately returned tenfold, eyes widening in panic as she froze.

Lena bit back a smile and took Kara’s hand, shaking it despite Kara’s lack of movement. “Lena. And don’t worry - your secret’s safe with me.”

Kara deflated, running a hand through her hair. “Alex is going to kill me.”

Lena laughed and patted Kara’s bicep (definitely the strongest being on Earth). “Maybe you should stop saying names now.”

Kara grimaced. “Oops.” She looked like she was about to say something else but stopped and looked at Lena again. “Wait… are you Lena Luthor?”

Lena straightened up, careful mask falling into place to try to hide the way her heart sped up and her throat constricted. “Yes.”

But before she could launch into her speech about how she was different from the rest of her family and only wanted to help, Kara lit up, crouching down to shuffle through her piles of literature until she came up with an issue of a science magazine from a few years ago.

“I just read your article about sustainable building and how we can introduce cost-effective eco-friendly measures to construction to reduce the damage done to the environment and promote a symbiotic relationship with nature.”

Lena blinked.

Kara almost poked herself in the eye before redirecting the movement to brush a strand of hair behind her ear. “Sorry, I just thought it was really interesting. You’re probably tired of people asking you about your work.”

Lena’s eyebrows rose. “No I… I don’t mind.”

Kara smiled and Lena found her heart racing for an entirely different reason. She redirected her attention to the books scattered on the floor.

“So what’s National City’s resident superhero doing studying civil engineering, first aid and… veterinary science on the floor of the library?”

Kara blushed and knelt down to start scooping up all her things. “Sorry - I know I should have been at a desk I just got carried away.”

The pile of books was up to Kara’s eyebrows when she stood up and Lena laughed, taking the top third of them from her. “And I shouldn’t have been reading and walking. But that doesn’t answer my question.”

Supergirl shrugged, toeing at the worn carpet with her red boots. “I’m new at the whole superhero thing. I don’t know where to freeze breath a building to hold it up or how to save someone who’s got water in their lungs from almost drowning. The other day I rescued a snake from a tree and tried to wrap it up in my cape to keep it warm and the owner told me ‘thanks, but reptiles are cold-blooded so they don’t warm up like that.’” She pouted at Lena. “The owner was a ten year old.”

Lena bit back a smile. “So you’re trying to learn how to be a better superhero?”

She shrugged and bit her lip. “I just don’t want to mess up.”

Lena considered her for a moment. “You know, I happen to have degrees in a few different kinds of engineering. And I made everyone at L-corp, including myself, take a first aid course when I took over.”

Kara looked as though she was trying to contain her hopeful expression. It wasn’t working very well, although that probably wasn’t surprising since her motto was ‘hope, help, and compassion for all.’

Kara bounced on her toes excitedly. “Would you help?”

Lena grinned and gestured to the left with her head. “Come on, I know which desk is the best in the library.”

———

It became somewhat of a routine after that. Every Saturday, Lena would go to the library as normal, pick out a new cheesy romance novel for the week and some kind of thick science book to hide it underneath, and then meet Supergirl in the back corner of the library, at the desk hidden behind the spare computers from the 90s where no one would find them.

Kara would normally already be there, pouring over texts and making notes in coloured pens and highlighters. Lena had bought her a rainbow of folders and dividers for each of the aspects of superheroing she was trying to improve in, and they had spent one very unproductive but fun day labelling and decorating them. They were now covered in random doodles, squiggly multicoloured patterns, and stickers that Kara had found in a rotating rack by the front desk, immediately claiming were essential for her learning.

During the week, Lena would keep an eye on any news of Supergirl, getting some strange looks from Jess when she walked into her office to see Lena cheering as Kara did something they’d worked on together. At the weekend she would listen to Kara excitedly retell those same events until the librarian came over to shush them. She seemed to be the only person in National city that wasn’t completely charmed by Supergirl, and it always led to half an hour of Kara pouting and asking Lena why the librarian didn’t like her.

It was a few weeks before Lena got there first. She frowned, checking the surrounding isles of books for any caped figures but they were all empty as usual.

She sat at their desk and opened up the book she had randomly grabbed off a shelf, putting her latest romance novel inside it to covertly read. It was called ‘Lost and Found: A Love Story’, the back of it claiming it was about a woman who ‘drops her scarf at a train station but ends up finding something much more meaningful in the woman she bumps into at the lost and found.’ It was exactly as awful as it sounded.

Kara bounded up to the table about 20 minutes later, a coffee cup in each hand and a satchel slung over her shoulder that made her cape bunch up awkwardly. She beamed at Lena and set a coffee down in front of her.

“Guess what I just did.”

Lena slammed the books shut inside each other, scrambling to put her arms over them and rest her chin in her hand casually. “What?”

Kara either didn’t notice or didn’t care, rounding the desk and putting her bag down on it with a grin. “I laservisioned the supports of a broken crane back together using some metal from a billboard and now it’s totally fine for use again.”

Lena’s eyebrows rose. “What happened to the crane in the first place?”

Kara’s cheeks heated and she looked away, rubbing the back of her neck as she mumbled, “I may have flown into it a little bit.”

She scowled at Lena as Lena started laughing but it was undermined by the way her lips tugged up.

“Oh!” Kara lit up and started rifling through her bag. “I brought you this.”

She held out a book with a bright smile. Lena’s eyes widened as she looked down at the cover of what was very clearly another cheesy romance.

“It’s my favourite love story. It’s a bit like the one you’re reading at the moment but better, in my opinion. I thought you might like it.”

“What?” Lena scoffed. “I wasn’t reading a romance. I was reading…” she glanced over to check what book she had picked up, internally filling with regret as she read the title, but she had already committed to the facade. “The rhyming dictionary.”

Kara was very clearly trying not to laugh. “Ok. Well I’ll just leave this one here. And in case you didn’t know,” she leaned closer to Lena’s ear as she climbed into her seat, and whispered, “I have x-ray vision.”

Lena blushed, refusing to look at Kara’s smug grin. She cleared her throat and moved her books off to the side, along with the one Kara had put down, as casually as possible, and attempted to change the subject.

“So you remembered about weight distribution in support structures?”

Kara paused in taking folders and notes out her bag to turn to Lena excitedly, rambling on about her save, gesturing wildly with her hands.

Lena picked up her coffee as she listened with a soft smile, absentmindedly taking a sip.

She frowned down at the cup. “Is this my usual?”

Kara paused in her rambling. “Yeah. Does it not taste right?”

Lena shook her head, staring back down at her perfect coffee, cheeks heating at the heart drawn in latte art that Kara probably didn’t even have anything to do with. “No I just… I didn’t know you knew my order.”

Kara grinned, raising an eyebrow (Lena should never have taught her how to do that). “Perhaps you’re not as elusive as you think, Lena Luthor.”

———

Lena arrived at the library one Saturday to find Supergirl staring at the front doors like she might set light to them any moment.

“What’s wrong Supergirl? Lose a fight with a door handle?”

Kara turned to her with a pout, pointing at a sign hanging on the other side of the glass. It read ‘Library closed until 23rd due to water damage. Apologies for the inconvenience.’

Lena sighed.

“Where am I going to get my books for this week, Lena? I’m never going to understand civil engineering without them.”

Lena bit the inside of her cheek, the rational part of her brain at war with the part that was helpless to the superhero’s pout. It had to be one of her superpowers because Lena would never admit she was actually soft.

She tore her gaze away, trying to seem casual. “I actually have some engineering textbooks at my apartment. I guess you could borrow them if you wanted.”

Lena squeaked as Supergirl crushed her in a bear hug, lifting her a few inches off the ground. “Thank you thank you thank you!”

Lena laughed, trying to turn it inconspicuously into a cough when a passerby gave a slightly shocked and confused look at the sight of a Luthor and a Super laughing on the library steps. Kara dropped her back to her feet, stepping back with a sheepish smile.

“Sorry, I got excited.”

Lena shook her head with a smile. She turned to go but as she went to gesture for Kara to follow, her hand caught against Kara’s. Her brain misfired and decided in the split second where her index finger hooked onto Kara’s pinkie that the best course of action was to commit to it and simply hold hands. In an attempt to make it seem less affectionate and more practical, she walked off quickly, dragging Kara along in the direction of her apartment.

She could feel Kara’s smile like rays of sun behind her. At least her hair was down to cover up the heat that was creeping up the back of her neck.

Her apartment was only a few minutes from the library. She had to slap Kara’s hand away from the elevator buttons before she pressed them all, marveling at how many floors there were.

“So this is where you live?” Kara looked around the hallway, panicking when she snapped a leaf off of a decorative plant, while Lena unlocked the penthouse door.

Lena pretended not to see her discreetly dropping the leaf into the plant pot but raised an eyebrow at her. “No, Supergirl. I just decided we should come and stare at this random person’s door.”

Kara ignored her, walking past into her apartment and looking down at the city below through the large floor to ceiling windows. “Nice view. I should take you flying sometime - it’s even better from up in the clouds, especially at night.”

Lena closed the front door, trying not to think about romantic flights and being cradled in strong arms. “I’ll go get the textbooks.”

She moved towards her home office, Kara trailing behind in interest. The engineering textbooks were over in the left corner and she scanned the alphabetised section for the ones she wanted.

Kara ran her fingers over the spines of books until Lena was done. She smirked at Lena, letting her hand trail teasingly down the bookshelf before she left. Lena blushed as she realised why. Kara had found her fiction section, over half the books in which were very clearly a certain genre.

Lena groaned and followed her out.

They spent the entire afternoon on the floor around Lena’s coffee table, going through the textbooks, laughing over Kara’s constant puns, and eating the seemingly endless supply of snacks Kara produced from her bag. It wasn’t until the sun had started to set that Lena realised how long they’d spent simply telling jokes and stories.

It was alarmingly easy to just be around Kara. Strangely, Lena didn’t think she minded.

———

Lena frowned as someone knocked on her door. It was a Saturday morning and she was just about to leave to meet Supergirl at the library.

She only grew more confused as she opened the door to see a fluffy white cloud panting happily at her and squirming in her direction. A head poked out from behind it, looking just as happy.

“Lena, hi! Sorry to just turn up but the mean librarian lady threw me out because apparently you aren’t allowed to play fetch in the library.”

Lena stared at the woman currently holding a large puppy in front of her, familiar blonde curls pinned back and glasses slipping down her nose. “…Kara?”

Kara blinked at her for a moment before she seemed to realise. “Oh! Right. Sorry - this is what I look like normally. When I’m not being Supergirl I mean. Alex said I wasn’t allowed to wear the suit all the time because it had to be washed.”

Lena nodded slowly, trying to reconcile the image of this Kara with Supergirl and to not think too hard about the implications of Kara being comfortable enough around her to show her her civilian identity. “Right. Why do you have a dog?”

Kara lit up. “I saved an animal shelter from a fire and they let me adopt this guy. Isn’t he adorable?”

Lena looked at the matching faces of excitement. “Very cute. But why is he here?”

Kara shrugged. “Well I couldn’t leave him after I’d just adopted him so I thought he could join us for our study session?”

Lena crossed her arms and Kara pouted. It was somewhat undermined by the puppy licking her face and making her giggle but Lena was still helpless to resist.

“Ok but he better not mess up any of my stuff.”

“Yes!” Kara grinned, wiggling the puppy excitedly, his ears flopping about.

Kara kissed her cheek on her way into the apartment and Lena’s heart skipped a beat. The puppy licked her in an attempt to join in but even that didn’t stop the way her heart raced.

They settled on the couch, facing each other as Lena quizzed Kara with flashcards. The puppy alternated between curling up in Kara’s lap and zooming around Lena’s living room, falling over his own paws.

“Ok, last one. How do you treat a sprain?”

“Ice it with my freezebreath, wrap it so it’s compressed but not cutting off circulation, keep it elevated.”

Lena grinned proudly. “That’s it! Done.”

Kara threw her hands in the air in delight, squealing as she propelled herself forwards to tackle Lena to the couch. She pulled back just as quickly, pushing up to brace herself over Lena.

“Sorry. I got excited.”

All the breath had deserted Lena’s lungs and she stared up at Kara. A light flush rose on Kara’s cheeks, pale pink against the deep blue of her eyes, bringing out the freckles that dusted her skin.

The flashcards slipped from Lena’s grasp as she surged up to meet Kara’s lips. Kara’s arms almost buckled but she caught herself. And then she was kissing back.

Lena’s hands slid up Kara’s back, practically pulling Kara down on top of her.

They were both breathing hard when they pulled apart, eyes closed and foreheads rested together.

Kara was smiling softly down at her when she finally opened her eyes. She had shifted to hold herself up on one hand and one elbow, her free hand gently stroking back Lena’s hair.

She looked like she was about to say something when she did a double take over the armrest of the couch behind Lena and her soft look turned into a wince. “What was it you said about the puppy not messing up any of your stuff?”

[nerves-nebula]

hi your "hunter escapes and has a fun little camping moment" au is living rent free in my brain rn, please Please share some more thoughts and rambles about it!

ANON PLEASE- (affectionate)

you gotta understand I was not lying when I said I have 5 pages of a google doc worth of comic ideas. Unfortunately it's still kind of a mess and I'm still sorting out some of the basic dynamics of this AU. I also like the idea of keeping most of my notes and making them into their own comics/posts so idk how I feel about just saying stuff in a list AND YET.

So here's some stuff I think I can say outside of a comic?? I’ll still probably make some of these into comics/doodles, but anyway I hope this is what you were looking for.

Hunter:

Hunter gets very into studying wild magic up close, something he wasn't allowed to do much before. But now he lives in the forest surrounded by wild magic. Because of this I plan for him to discover a few glyphs on his own, like Luz does, mainly the plant one. But you’ll see how that goes later ;)

He's also still trying to cure his uncles curse. He insists he's not going to go back to Belos, but if pressed on why he's searching for a cure for a man he plans to never see again, he'll get very defensive and angry. Sometimes it's not as easy as "I'm leaving and never coming back." sometimes you still wanna help the people who hurt you :P and THAT one is from personal experience

Hunter takes a while to really get into the whole “I’m on my own and can do whatever I want” thing, but I plan for him to mess around with his presentation once he gets more comfortable.

Rascal helps him change his eye bandages! I haven’t decided if his eye is damaged yet or just the area around it tho so stay tuned.

Hunter will often assign himself “missions” to go on because he doesn’t know what else to do with his free time. He knows he doesn’t technically have any deadlines or stuff like that anymore but he gets stressed not having a goal to strive towards so to cope he just.. gives himself arbitrary goals !

Funfact! This is not the first time Hunters pissed Belos off so bad that he’s fled the castle for a moment. But it IS the first time he stays away for this long. 

Home Hunter AU subscribes to the “Hunter is the grimwalker/a clone of Belos’ brother” theory just for extra angst. I kind of like the idea that he wasn’t even a big part of Belos’ plans though, just that Belos saw a chance to “Bring back” his brother and went for it fsdfsfsdf.

Hunter is terrified of relying on someone too much because no matter how much he trusts them, they could always kick him out. And he’d rather kick himself out before they get the chance. Boys still got issues, is what I’m saying. 

Because Hunter lives in the woods he starts to get a bit... Feral. People will not see him for a week only to realize he’s been not showering or changing his clothes. He was never the most normally-socialized kid but now he’s in the habit of hissing at people the way he does at wild animals that encroach on his tent.

Hunter is very possessive of his belongings (he has so few) and will tackle you if you try to take something from him without asking. He also hoards food and has trouble sharing it, but he feels a bit more embarrassed about this habit than others so he tries to hide it.

Luz:

Luz is basically the first person Hunter reaches out to after living in the woods for a few weeks, and she’s the only one he trusts, at first. 

She offers to let Hunter stay at the owl house a LOT, and sometimes he does :D ! But usually only if it’s raining or he has an injury he can’t heal himself, or if they’re just hanging out. 

Luz’s Super Secret Sad Boy plan is to try to trick Hunter into staying at the owl house for extended periods of time, so that he eventually doesn’t want to go back to the forest. She brings it up A LOT. This has yet to work though, because Hunter feels very uncomfortable about not understanding their family dynamic. That and it makes him feel a bit worse about his own. (kind of like when you go to your friends house and their parents are nice, so you cry afterwards. But to the extreme that he has trouble relaxing cause he’s viscerally aware of how much he doesn’t feel like he fits in.)

Luz tried to teach Hunter glyphs but he brushed it off. 1. because he’s still nervous about wild magic lmao but 2. because he didn’t think he needed to learn them since he has Rascal. He only starts looking into them when he personally finds them in nature on his own. After that point he starts eavesdropping on Lillith and Eda’s glyph lessons and hijinks ensue.

Lillith:

I’m actually super down for the idea that Lillith would bond with goldie in some way. They both know what Belos is like so they can bitch about him together!

I’m also a fan of the “Lillith regrets calling Hunter a brat” idea. Idk if she’s canonically seen his face or anything but I like to think that, at least NOW, she sees him for what he really is. A poor little meow meow. 

That being said don’t think that Mom!Eda is out for the count. They’re  ✨ co-parents  ✨ and I like to think they bring different things to the table when it comes to caring about Hunter. Raine might show up eventaully too :D. They still can’t get him to move out of the woods tho.

Belos:

Not much to say about him and his plans yet, but what usually happens when Hunter runs off after upsetting Belos is that he comes back a few hour/days later with something to win back Belos’ favor. So the emperor isn’t concerned at first, but then a week passes, and then another. 

In this AU Belos is very protective of Hunter but in a weird, possessive, fucked up way. Basically, he’s convinced himself that nothing is really a threat to him or Hunter (since he trained Hunter personally and believes in his nephews abilities). He was never afraid of Hunter being killed or leaving him cause he never considered those things as possibilities. So when Hunter doesn’t come back and is seen actively avoiding him, he goes a little apeshit? But like in a subtle way? Like, he’s losing it but quietly lmao. BASICALLY I do have plan for Belos to attempt to do a lot of stuff to catch/coerce Hunter, and maybe he succeeds! We’ll see.

That should be enough for now!

important to note that a lot of this could change on a whim since I’m still thinking about all of it but y e ah these are some things I’ve mused about.

also I hope this makes sense, I’m not really a writer so I just kinda type it how I talk it I guess.

[luimagines]

Lustrous Anon here, how do you do? Hopefully you're doing well today and once more, thank you for the wonderful scenarios and imagines, you have no idea how much I smiled at the Magical Girl Au Sky one and how amused I was by the Dragon Reader one (although the ending makes me concerned for them, all the best to them), which I really needed after a hard day so thank you, I'm sure I'll adore the part three to Twilight's (aka Arguably Best Boy, just saying, ties right in with First and Time- ahem, nope, going to keep my bias in check before I ramble because I Have Thoughts) Soulmate Au and so I'll thank you in advance for it, writers work hard and so I must thank you accordingly ^^, uh, though apologies if I kind of broke you with information overload? The train of thought kind of derailed midway and it got away from me even if I'm glad I was through and helped you learn a lot, I apologize for that one and take as much time as you need to process because honestly that was my bad, probably no Lustrous Reader shenanigans today as a result xD though I'd add to the other anon here for clarification though they did an excellent job explaining as well. Pardon me if anything is off though, sleep deprivation is not recommended when writing but it is information vital to share. Though I have no idea how you feel about possible spoilers even if they're just world building ones, so I'll probably skirt around those depending on it to be safe, kind of like how Lustrous Reader already does to something they seem "not vital information" when it's actually pretty concerning from the perspective of someone not a Lustrous.

(Warning, possible long ask)

Inclusions are basically microscopic beings that live in the gems bodies, in a sense they're like cells, they need sunlight to keep gems up and moving though, they energize them by absorbing light and allow them to move. Due to this mechanism, Gems need sunlight to survive, forcing them to sleep at night and hibernate in winter (though some gems can bypass that and certain specific circumstances clearly show it's not really a main necessity for the most part). They can indeed be very picky, hence why you need to find compatible material when fixing a Lustrous and take account several factors like family and hardness because it makes it easier for their body to accept them and less risk of them losing memories in the process, else it's basically dead weight and won't respond, the inclusions need to adapt and accept the new piece or else they won't be able to move that new piece at all, though it's on a Lustrous to Lustrous basis since some inclusions are more adaptable than others (see the protagonist for an example), it's harder using parts already from other Lustrous because they already have their own inclusions and they can clash, though it is possible. Just needs a fairly specific set of circumstances to actually work and hope that the inclusions collaborate rather than clash, plus most Lustrous wouldn't want to give parts of themselves away unless under duress or if they really can afford to spare it, those are memories they're talking about, one could say that doing so is a big act of care or trust to them (like a Lustrous chopping off their hair to help fix another Gem because they're similar enough the chances are higher, so it's not really a big deal for them to loose a bit of hair), how inclusions work on gold, silver and mercury is a bit different, if the Lustrous inclusions are compatible, then it's all a matter of will and their emotional state, not to mention weight and flexibility (ex: a Lustrous with gold and silver will be stronger and able to put themselves together faster and be harder to permanently shatter, but they'll not be as fast as a regular gem or some of the fastest Lustrous around because they'll be heavier, and a gem with mercury won't be able to touch other gems because it kills the inclusions within them permanently, they'll be very efficient against Lunarians at the cost of not being able to touch their own without either a good handle on their emotions, a solid buffer, or both, it's a bit of a trade off though mercury likely wouldn't harm humans, since they don't have inclusions and in gemstones it's actually pretty harmless for us, fun fact, it's only concentrated that we really have to worry, another layer of angst is if Lustrous Reader is super reluctant about touching the Chain if they have mercury, and then practically breaking down because they can actually touch someone safely, hardness and that factor aside).

So yeah, hope that helped clarify it, my personal headcanon is that along with being one of the oldest gems and probably one of the more efficient ones in spite of hardness (which I'll likely try dwelling into in another ask, kind of sleep deprived) is that they have very adaptable inclusions due to Farore transporting them, they were already adaptable but after Farore put them back together and sent them off they are even more so because that way they'll be able to survive and function as normal in The Quest and be able to utilize material from Hyrule in case they break, which would also fully explain why Cia's spells wouldn't work, their inclusions are just very good at processing and they convert the light and energy from the spells into energy, probably wouldn't work well against something like say, a Guardian (though I doubt the Chain would even agree with letting one of their own near one easily to test, specially not Wild, they helped him get a durable sword AND know how difficult it's like not to remember anything after so many years and have their memories come at random, he's seen them disassociate after they break much like how he does with memories, I doubt he'd want to put them in a situation where their memories wouldn't come back at all), but it's over all a pretty neat skill to have anyway, kind of like a downgrade of the Mirror Shield. Also the main reason why Lustrous Reader has long hair in the first place would probably be interesting, because usually longer hair is usually most found in stronger gems higher in the ranking (ex: Adamant, who's their teacher and caretaker is way up there like how a Zelda is in the chain of command for the Hyrulean army, Bort, the strongest gem after him and an industrial diamond would probably be equal to general, with regular Diamond right behind them and after them usually Padparascha when they're actually active last I checked), but I feel like when Padparascha isn't active the one who takes their place in that chain may be Lustrous Reader because of their hair length and possible experiences, plus they're a historian, to do that AND not get taken by the Lunarians for so long is basically a feat when for a while they've been working solo before retiring, and I personally think it's hilarious if everyone finds out that, even though there's not many of them they're technically talking to someone pretty high up in that chain of command much like how they figured out Jedi Reader was a general and Lustrous Reader just, doesn't see what the big deal is if anyone tries pointing it out. Like "What do you MEAN I'm technically representing my people here I was retired! I was a historian and only picked up a weapon for my sibling, it's literally not a big deal-"

As for Little Lucky/Amber/Citrine Lucky (going back and forth between the two because I feel like both gems would fit him in a sense, still torn on that one), he's proooooobably fine? There's like, four to five possibilities running around in my head about how he's doing but if it's possibility one then he's alright and going to be that way for a while, just missing his sibling a lot and probably grieving them (maybe hugging his own version of Little Zelda on his free time, or the Houseki no Kuni protagonist, I feel like they'd get along with all of the Links like a house on fire if given the chance, so they probably wouldn't want to see Little Lucky so down in the dumps and do their best to cheer him up), also going to be on the front lines more to see if he can get any pieces of them back to remake them (although as we know it probably won't be any dice, since they're in Hyrule), I have no idea how they could get in contact but maybe the mailman in Twilight's time would be useful? That or Lustrous Reader after getting closer to Ravio asks to briefly borrow Sherrow, because that little guy literally crosses dimensions to get items back in LBTW, who's to say he can't do the same for letters? Though that'd probably be a last resort for Lustrous Reader, they wouldn't want him to get hurt doing that even if the possibility is low since gems either adore or are fairly indifferent towards animals unless attacked first. If they can find a slightly safer way then they'll definitely pick it over anything else (they probably won't ask Lana for a bit because they KNOW that if they go back to Warrior's time, they'll probably throw hands with Cia again so they'll keep that option as a last-last resort, and now I just see that shaking hands meme between Lustrous Reader and Evil Reader and it's just 'Being Protective of Warrior's When Cia is Nearby')

Also I just had a thought, probably the last one for now cause I wouldn't want to overload ya or anyone again and I'm kind of sleep deprived. But uh, there's something that happens in the manga, where one of the Lustrous is shattered and then buried all around the island for being considered too volatile and not able to be reasoned with, and they were concious for that entire period of time (220 years, to be exact and aware of every ticking second), and I was just 'how did y'all even know they'd be fully out of commission then?' and then I was like 'What if Lustrous Reader is the why?', like maybe they reacted badly to their partner being gone (maybe they're the Lustrous Link incarnation before Little Lucky, who maybe lost their own partner, maybe the Zelda before possible Little Zelda, too, and was partnered with Lustrous Reader and if they have a mismatched arm it's because they both agreed to let Lustrous Reader have their parts if any of them got recovered and they needed it because they were close), and if they have their eye and an arm not theirs and see it's their partner's and their friend's (and that it was put on them without as much a bit of their opinion because they were downed, probably had their head shot off or something similar) they don't react well for a while, maybe get more reckless or keep trying to get them out because "They'll need it once we get them back, this is NOT mine it shouldn't be mine-" or snap at the gem doctor (which honestly fair in a way), and thus they're shattered by their own when Adamant isn't awake and then buried for a long, long time before they're let out (time period is up to interpretation, though I feel like 500 years would explain a lot, and again they have a sense of time that's probably akin to Time's, so they probably knew exactly how much time has passed), refuse to take a sword again unless it's in self defense or Adamant calls for them and then go full historian before meeting Little Lucky who basically changes everything because they're like a sibling to them?

I don't know, maybe it comes up after someone notices Lustrous Reader being very reluctant/spaced out on tight or underground spaces, maybe they flinch when seeing the Shrine of Resurrection or when near sand and at first they don't wanna talk about why they're literally cracking, but after someone asks (main suspects being Twi, Sky, First or Time, although really who wouldn't cave after any of the boys asked them gently and worriedly what's wrong? Couldn't be me) they cave and tell them, maybe trying not to make a big deal out of it or very disconnected like they're talking about the weather?

I honestly have no idea how the Chain would react to that happening to someone who's basically their own now and the fact they were concious, awake and aware of every single second of it, though I can see it hitting some sore spots for First and Wild at least. Maybe Warriors, Sky and Time too or even the Fierce Deity.

Anyway, that's all for now, I hope you're having a wonderful day and will have many wonderful ones ahead and well, until whenever the conductor of the train of thought lets me in or I have the time, thank you once more for everything!

-Just an Anon on A Stroll

Anon!!!! No time for strolls when you're sleepy!!! DX

Poor little Link. They might be dead but they're not, they're just in another world entirely.

And them having bits of their partner on them- desperate to keep it safe and intact for when they come back 🥺🥺

The Chain is going to lose their minds

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ISNT YOUR ARM!?!?

[ghoste-catte]

I was curious what advice would you give to someone new to writing fics? I've been wanting to get back into it but haven't seriously written something since high school. I hope this isn't an annoying question or anything!

Not an annoying question at all! I'm just a little worried that I won't have terribly good or useful advice. To be honest, I also sort of stopped writing in earnest right as I finished high school, and didn't pick it back up until my late 20s. It's certainly an adjustment! But I think the few things that really helped me get back into writing fic as a hobby and something I spend quite a bit of time on would be:

Write for yourself first, then find your other motivations. My original inspiration in getting back into fic writing was that there just were not that many fics I liked for my favorite pairing, and I wanted more of them, and I especially wanted more with the tropes and characterizations I wanted to see. I think at the very core of anything you need that internal spark that drives you. At the same time, for me at least, if I just relied on my own drive, I would not get much done; I need some external guardrails. So having people send prompts, or writing for particular events, or writing stuff for friends really helps me to get my ass in gear and finish stuff. That may not be the perfect motivator for you, and that's fine! You just gotta figure out what is.

Be open to inspiration. Anything and everything can be spun out into a story with the right tweaking. Obviously stuff like music is a classic inspiration source, but I've also pulled ideas from poetry, from memes, from Reddit threads, from YouTube videos, from rambling conversations on Discord and from real life to make fics out of. So many times, someone will post a silly Twitter screencap, and I'll think, There's a fic in this. And a lot of the time, there is! Research is a wonderful thing, but so is serendipity. If you're out there actively looking for ideas, eventually one that you like will stumble past you.

Find your community. I can genuinely say I never would have finished more than one fic if I didn't have fandom friends to talk to about even stupid headcanons, to bounce ideas off of, and to encourage me (and to encourage them in turn!). Discord has been a godsend, and some of my closest online friends are people I met in the GaaLee discord server. As I've gotten more comfortable as a writer, I've also joined general writing servers and Reddit communities and have found them immensely helpful on both a motivational level (bingos, sprints, owe-me challenges) and on a craft level (plot workshopping and writing ethics and live grammar help). It's a lot easier to think about fic ideas and hash through problem moments when I have a constant stream of fandom-related chatter coming from the little people who live in my phone! Ao3 is an amazing website, and it's great as, well, an archive, but it isn't social media by design. If you want conversation and human connection and cheerleading, you've gotta forge out and find it.

Make it a habit ... If you want to produce anything longer than a couple hundred words, you really have to set aside time for it. And writing is just like knitting or dirt biking or painting little model figurines: the more you do it, the more easily it comes. When I was first getting back into the proper swing of things, I committed myself to 30 minutes of writing per week. Just 30 minutes. I didn't even hit that goal every week, but there were tons of weeks I got on a roll and went over that amount, and by the end of the year I'd written over 200,000 words. I used to spend an hour laboriously tip-tapping out 200 words, but now I can easily blow through 1k in a 50 minute sprint. It's all about training that muscle.

... But don't make it a chore. With fanfic, you aren't doing this as a job, and you aren't ultimately doing it for anyone other than you. That means you can take breaks when you need them, you can set deadlines and then fail to meet them, you can write stuff and then decide to never post it. When you start getting burnt out, when the practice loses the joy and energy, stop. There's no 'hustle' here. In our capitalist society we're so trained to push past our limits and keep going even when it hurts us, but the hobby you do for connection and relaxation and whatever else shouldn't be like that.

Ignore metrics. Sometimes stuff isn't gonna get hits, or kudos, or comments. There are some basic 'rules' as to the stuff that does and doesn't get traction, but every time you post something it's a roll of the dice. If you're focused on watching that kudos counter tick up, you will get bummed out fast. And any writer will tell you that the stuff you think is your best work will never be the stuff that gets the most accolades. So you have to find something else to give you a sense of success. For me, it's watching my wordcount go up in my stats and those occasional comments where someone has a lot to say and that one person who always leaves me a <3 emoji (and, shout out to @egregiousderp, having someone to have long one-on-one conversations with about the stuff that never made it to page).

Don't strive for perfection. It's really easy to want your first ever fic to be a complete showstopper, the best fic fandom has ever seen, hitting all the tropes and the ideas and the characterization that you just know fandom is missing and would be everyone's top favorite if only it was written. This is a trap. No one fic can be all things. Most people who want to write an epic as their very first venture will not see the end of that epic, because they haven't put in the practice hours to make something on that scale work. That's not to say you can't start out with a big, sprawling multichap, just don't expect it to be the greatest thing since sliced bread if you're just starting out, and be okay with abandoning it for greener pastures if you get to that point. Think of the first time someone makes a vase out of clay or bakes a loaf of bread. That's never their best vase or their best bread. If they keep up with it, they'll make more and better vases and loaves. Likewise, your first fic is probably not gonna be your best fic. See it for what it is: your launchpad.

You can't edit an empty page, but you can over-edit a full one. This kind of spins off of #7, but if the words aren't there, you can't fix them. Daydreams and headcanons are fantastic (and god, how many times have I wished for a speech-to-text engine that projected my falling asleep thoughts onto a Google doc for later perusal), but they aren't fic. If you want to write fic, you've gotta get comfortable with the idea of sloppy outlines and rough first drafts. You can't build a house without a frame and you can't build a man without a skeleton (I mean, you can, I guess, but he'd be one floppy man). The nice thing about fic is that it doesn't matter if that frame is structurally unsound or the skeleton has 18 too many bones, you can clean that up in the editing process. But you can't start hanging curtains and arranging furniture in something that doesn't even have walls. That's the process. But! Also know when to set down the editor's pen and say, "Okay, this is good enough for government work", and call it done. ("Done" doesn't have to mean "posted", but it does mean, "I'm done picking at this for now, and I'm gonna go write some more stuff".) Over-editing can make stuff seem laborious and forced, and it prevents you from actually improving. To continue belaboring the house metaphor, you can spend your whole life rearranging furniture in just one room, but the end result of that is a pretty narrow existence and a room with a lot of footprints and tracks in the carpet.

Write shit down. When you have ideas, jot them down--in a notebook, in a Google Doc, in the Notes app of your phone, in pen on the back of your hand. You think you will remember that brilliant line of dialogue or sparkling snippet of narration or genius plot that came to you in a dream, but you Will Not. Write it down. Write it down. Write it down! There have been so many times when a fic was completely saved by past!me having written down my shower thoughts about what happens next in the fic, that present!me had completely forgotten about and was floundering over.

Have fun with it! Try different stuff. Try stupid stuff. Try experimental stuff. Do stuff you've never done before that you aren't sure will work. It's important to get comfortable with your niche (for example, I know I'm never going to be the sort of person who writes intricate plots of intrigue or super long 100k epics or detailed battles), but you can't find that niche unless you explore lots of different niches! Figure out what you love and what you absolutely hate, and then keep doing the stuff you love.

Okay, so that was actually TEN things, but ... I hope you still found this helpful. Feel free to send another ask if any of this was confusing or unclear. Good luck with your fic writing and, if you want, send me a link to what you've written once you've written it! I'd love to read it.

[emitheduck]

Elevator Going Up (Bucky x Reader)

A/N: no spoilers or anything of any kind here! Hope you all enjoy, and if you would like to join my taglist just send me a message -

“Eighth floor please.” (Y/n) smiled politely as she stepped onto the elevator, the metal doors shutting behind her as the man beside her reached forward to press the button. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” He said, giving her a small, slight, smile back. “That’s my stop anyway.”

“Not everyday that two people are going to the Avengers HR floor.” She laughed slightly. “You have paperwork to do?”

He shrugged. “You could say that. More like, I’m the reason for the paperwork.”

(Y/n) nodded. “We get a lot of that too. Mostly Hulk for collateral damage.” She paused to actually look at him. Long, messy brown hair and an uneasy demeanor about him. “You’re Bucky, right?”

“Yeah I am. Why, you have a file the size of Texas on your desk about me?” He asked her, clearly upset with what seemed like himself. 

“No actually. I work more covering a lot of HR issues regarding Steve, and he doesn’t normally get a lot so sometimes I branch out. Knowing a lot about Steve kind of leaves me to learn about his best friend.” She told him, pushing hair out of her face. “Sorry when I get nervous I ramble. I’m (Y/n).”

He chuckled slightly. “No need to be nervous. I’m sorry if I’m making you nervous.”

She didn’t really want to tell him that she was nervous because he was handsome, but she figured it would be best to not respond. That was until the elevator gave a jolt, and stopped moving. “Did it stop?”

“Yeah it doesn’t seem like we’re moving at all.” He mumbled as he kept pressing the button to open the doors. Nothing, not even a hum came from the elevator. “I mean I could pry it open, but it doesn’t really seem that urgent.”

(Y/n) sighed. “Maybe it should start moving in a minute?” If she could eat her words, she would have. Saying that it would have only been a few minutes was a complete lie, and the pair had been stuck in this unmoving elevator for almost two hours, in absolute silence. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to rip the door open?” She finally spoke up from where she was now sitting on the floor of the elevator. 

He nodded. “I’ll give it my best shot.” He said as he jammed his metal arm in between the two doors. Once he did, the doors opened and they were faced with a concrete wall in front of them. “We must have stopped in between floors.”

(Y/n) groaned. “Come sit down then. I have a feeling this might take a little bit longer.” She told him as he stood, never having moved away from the doors.

Bucky thought for a moment but slowly moved to sit next to her on the floor of the elevator. “You had to say this would only take a few minutes.”

“Trust me, I’m really starting to regret my actions.” She huffed, grabbing her purse from the floor and pulling it onto her lap to start digging through it. “Ah, here it is. Do you want one?” She asked, handing him a wrapped granola bar from her purse that looked a little worse for wear. 

“Thanks.” He said, gently grabbing the granola bar from her hands. “You just have these in your purse?”

(Y/n) nodded, pulling out another one. “Yeah. Sorry they’re crushed but I kind of just throw them in my purse. I guess it’s kind of a good thing for moments like these though.”

He shrugged, opening it and taking a bite. “I don’t mind. Food is food.”

“Can I ask you a question?” She asked, chewing on her granola bar. 

“Sure.” He replied with a mouth full as well.

“How’d you lose your arm?” She questioned, her hand almost reaching to touch his metal hand, but realizing that she shouldn’t. It’s not everyday you sit next to a trained assassin and start touching him. “Sorry, I know that’s kind of personal.”

Bucky shrugged, crushing the granola bar wrapper in his metal hand. “I don’t mind. I lost it when I fell from a train in 1945.” 

She blinked, kind of not expecting that answer but also knowing anything was possible when you worked with the Avengers. “You really fell from a train?”

He nodded. “I don’t remember much. I’m really glad that I don’t remember actually falling off and basically dying. But I do remember the arm. That was some of the worst pain I’ve ever felt, well, at least top three.”

“Wow.” She said as she looked down at the granola bar in her hands. “Sorry that it was such a personal question. All I know is, it’s basically a super arm. But I’m just an outsider looking in.”

“Sometimes that’s the best way to look at things.” He mumbled. “Thanks again for the granola bar.”

(Y/n) smiled slightly. “I don’t mind. I probably have another stuck in here somewhere if you want one.”  She told him, not getting an answer which most likely meant he was just listening. Damn. It’s been two hours in this unmoving elevator and she was starting to get cold. Not only had the elevator lost the power to keep moving, but it seems that it lost the capability for heat as well.

“Are you okay?” Bucky questioned, glancing over at the woman next to him. “You’re shivering so hard you’re shaking the floor.”

She blushed what she assumed to be bright red. “Sorry. Just cold in here.” She tried to laugh it off, her hands nervously playing with the ends of her hair. “Here.” He quietly said as he took off his leather jacket and laid it over her shoulders. “This should keep you warm.”

This time she was SURE she turned bright red. “You really didn’t have to y’know.”

“I’ve already had one friend get frozen solid, I don’t really need another.” He chuckled, realizing now his metal arm was on full display. “I’m also guessing this makes us friends.”

(Y/n) looked at him. “I would have to agree with you on that. This really does make us friends.” She smiled, her hand inching towards his metal one. He was the one who surprisingly moved his hand a little closer to hers, allowing their fingertips to touch.

“I might also be a man, who’s been a little behind the times, but do you think when we get out of here you might want to grab dinner?” He asked her, staring intensely at where their hands were touching. He was blushing too.

“I think I would like that a lot.” She grinned, knowing very well that he was going to be the sweetest guy she’s ever gone out with. Sometimes it’s really great that elevators break down. 

---

Bonus:

“Hey, look. Barnes has a girlfriend that he made in the elevator.” Sam teased as he stood in front of the now open doors, overlooking the two who were fast asleep, leaning against each other while huddled under his jacket. “I’m not asleep. But if you wake her up, I’m gonna kick your ass.” Bucky mumbled, his eyes still closed. “Give me one more second, and then we’ll go.”

“I’m just saying, we need the elevator.” Sam sighed, shaking his head as he walked away. 

Bucky stood up, looking down at the girl who was sleeping soundly still under his jacket. He smiled, leaning down and scooping her into his arm, making sure his jacket never slipped off her once. He’ll wake her up when they get to the car.

MASTERLIST

[crescentsteel]

Burns

pairing: Suna  x f!reader genre: fluff with slight angst (childhood friends to lovers) wc: 3.8k summary: you planned to confess to Suna on Valentines day. Unfortunately for you, he finds the holiday stupid.

[a/n]

Did this in one sitting, brain went zoom zoom

Not really comfortable writing for Inarizaki for some reason. Suna and Miya twins stans, don’t come for me. 

Thank you @tokyosdawn​, @luvnami​, @fayeiparis​ (my ride or die ily) for the betaread. 

ngl. I almost wrote smut after the fluff 

Happy Valentines Day! 🖤

This is it. This is the day. 

You’re finally going to confess to Suna. 

You have been close friends for so long, and for the whole duration of it, you have tried your utter best to feel only as such. 

You became friends with the rest of the Inarikazi team because you were always present in every game, with you being the loudest person to cheer for Suna leading everyone to pester him until he introduced you to them. Knowing Suna, he wasn’t fazed by his team’s persistent request and never mentioned to you that the team wanted to meet you. 

It had been Atsumu that day who approached you during lunch break saying that Suna asked him to ask you to attend their practice after class. 

You’ve been asking him non-stop if he can come watch them practice but he strictly prohibited you from going to the gym at all, so you were thrilled that he finally let you watch.. only to find him unpleasantly surprised that you were there. 

Apparently, the whole team thought you were dating. As much as you wish you were, you could only agree with Suna when he said you were just a long-time friend. 

But that changes today. Hopefully. 

You already know what confessing to him means, and you’re not ready to lose Suna as a friend in case this doesn’t work out. However, with the  both of you being third years already, it was now or never. You keep asking him what his plans after graduation are and he’s infuriatingly very consistent with his answer - a shrug and an apathetic ‘dunno.’

While you’re not ready to lose your friendship, you’re probably going to after high school — which is why you spent almost all of your allowance to buy ingredients to make homemade chocolate. It’s not actually that it’s expensive — you wasted so much ingredients making them that you ended up having enough for only three pieces. 

But you’re satisfied because they were of three different designs. Three cute fox-shaped chocolates of different colors. They weren’t perfect but you tailored them according to Suna’s taste - just mildly sweet so he can actually enjoy it.

You smile into the February air. 

You really aren’t sure about his feelings for you, but you know that you’re special to him. 

You’re his only female friend and despite his aloofness, he actually spends time with you outside of school. It was you who he spent New Year’s with. He celebrates your birthday even if you know he’s not really into that kind of stuff. He walks you home when you stay late from club activities. 

Being his friend since elementary school, you know he’s not the kind of guy to be nice to someone just for the sake of being nice. 

So instead of dreading for your confession, you’re actually excited. 

On your way to your first class, the chaotic twins block your path with a mischievous grin from both of them, except Atsumu’s way too obvious and upfront about it. 

“So, y/n. Anything for me?” Atsumu asks as he cocks an eyebrow at you. 

“Why would she give you any, idiot?” Osamu glares at Atsumu before turning to you with a smirk that makes you wary for some reason. “When she’s obviously giving them to Suna,” he adds.

You try to not look affected at his spot-on statement, but shit, you can already feel your heartbeat just a bit faster. Are you that obvious?

“Don’t you have hoards of shit from other girls? Why the hell are you ganging up on me?” you ask instead of answering Osamu’s speculation. 

“I want to show them to Suna during practice. His pretty little childhood friend givin’ me homemade chocolates,” Atsumu teases animatedly. 

Your eyes widen from what he said. “Wait, how did you know they were homemade?” 

The two give each other meaningful looks before Osamu leans down a bit on you. “So there really are chocolates, huh?”

You go rigid when you realize you’ve exposed yourself to these two. Shit, they’re going to tease you non-stop about this. Worse, they might tell Suna before you even get the chance to do it yourself. 

“Those are some burns on your hands, y/n. Have you treated those properly?” Atsumu eyes your hand that accidentally touched the hot pan yesterday. You tug the sleeves of your uniform lower to cover the purple-pinkish marks. 

“I’m going to be late for class, bye,” you abruptly bid goodbye and hurriedly escape from the two. God knows what else they’ll get from you if you stay longer. 

--

You erase your encounter with the twins from this morning. You can’t buckle down now. You worked hard for this day, both in body and in spirit. You’ve already had more than a fair share of doubts and second thoughts up until last night when you successfully pushed any cynicism away. 

You won’t back down, especially when Suna is just a seat away from you now. 

“Got any chocolates yet?” You prod at the topic as you put away your used cutleries. 

“Yea,” he answers lazily. “It’s so dumb.”

“What is?” you ask with a frown.

“Valentines,” he deadpans.  “Atsumu’s gonna get a fucking diabetes from the amount of chocolates he took from me because I was about to throw them away.”

You try to not let it get to you and breathe steadily to strengthen your resolve. You’re special to Suna. Surely, he won’t treat yours like that.

“What’s more idiotic is confessing this day,” he rambles on. “If a person really likes someone, why wait for Valentines to say it?” He asks rhetorically while putting away his own finished lunch. 

You feel your stomach lurch, like riding down a rollercoaster at full speed unexpectedly. You try your best to mold your face into an impassive expression to not give anything away.

On the inside though, you’re a mess. Your head feels too loud and the air feels too heavy. You want to close your eyes and disappear.

Then he looks at you. “What about you? Did you give chocolates to anyone?”

You vaguely hear his question. You feel like you’re in a bubble and every sound is muffled -- your classmates chattering, the chairs scraping against the floor, the laughter all around you feels distant.

You planned to give him the chocolates you worked so hard on, but definitely not anymore. He hit two things right (Or wrong? Who knows anymore.) on the marks and right now, you do feel idiotic for trying so hard. 

You should’ve known better. Of course, he’d find it stupid! He’s never the person to be all excited with events like this. What were you even thinking, spending all that money and effort when he obviously thinks the whole thing is a farce?

Did you really think this was going to go well? That he’d accept your chocolates and everything would be fine and you would go on as friends? In hindsight, there is never going to be a way out of this where you win. It is a stupid idea, and you’re stupid for even thinking about it.

‘Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb,’ you chant in your head. 

“Y/n?”

You flinch and find him staring at you, waiting for your answer. His golden eyes are studying your face carefully. You think you see a little bit of concern there but you brush it off.

“Oh no,” you laugh hesitantly. “No way I’d waste my time on some boy on the very rare chance that he actually likes me back, pfft.” Your laugh turns ironic and bitter. “Like you said, it’s just a dumb holiday,” you respond with a forced smile.

“Anyways, I have to go back now. Later, Rin.” You quickly stand up and head to a comfort room because you feel like shit and you need to cry it out before your classes start again, else you’d be tearing up during lecture.

“Wait.” He grips your hand firmly, adding salt to the injury as you wince when he presses the burn you got from yesterday.

“Ow!”

He’s startled by your sudden reaction, but doesn’t say anything. 

He loosens his hold and moves his grip to your wrist as he pushes up the sleeve of your uniform, revealing the burn on your hand along with small others on your arm. 

“What happened to you?” he asks with muted concern while his eyes are trained on your arm, fingers gently skimming over the burns.

You aggressively retrieve your arm and pull your sleeve back down while you come up with a lie, “Oka-san needed help in the kitchen yesterday.”

He furrows his eyebrows with suspicion. “Why? Everyone knows you’re useless in the kitchen.”

Yeah, but you wanted to do something for him, and the burns would have been worth it if he at least accepted the chocolates you worked so hard on. 

“Honestly, I don’t even know.” You try to laugh it off, but you’re losing it already, so you just give him a quick wave with whatever smile you can muster and saunter away from him. 

After a pathetic sobbing session in one of the cubicles, you make your way back to your classroom looking as normal as you possibly can. 

Thank goodness it’s Valentines. You’re not the only girl with eyes puffy from rejection. 

“Hey.” You feel a hand on your shoulder and solely from his voice, you can tell it’s Osamu. “You okay?” 

Maybe it would’ve been better if you had fallen for Osamu instead. Despite being always teased by him and Atsumu, he’s actually a nice likeable guy. Unlike Suna. 

God, why did it have to be Suna Rintarou?

“Come with me,” you say without looking at Osamu and drag him with you back to your classroom. 

“Uhh, okay.” He sounds unsure but he goes with you anyway. 

You ask him to wait for you just by the doorway of your classroom and grab the stupid box of chocolates you made from your bag. 

You practically shove it to him when you get back to where he is. “Happy Valentines, ‘Samu,” you greet with a dead expression. 

Osamu gapes at you then at the box in hand, an expression of disbelief spreading across his face. 

“Weren’t you asking for chocolates this morning?” 

“That was ‘Tsumu. Also,” he looks closely at the box. “It says ‘Rin.’

You immediately rip out the wrapper where you wrote Suna’s nickname and tuck the crumpled paper in your pocket.

“There. It doesn’t anymore,” you announce passively.

Osamu scratches his head with discomfort. “I can’t accept this, y/n. I can give it to Suna if you want,” he offers kindly.

“Miya Osamu. Either you accept it or I’m throwing it away right now.” Your voice is dead serious and so are you. If Osamu won’t accept it, it’s going to the trash where Suna would’ve tossed it in as well. 

“Okay, okay!” He surrenders with panic and opens the box slowly. 

“Holy sh-,” he clears his throat. “I mean, wow. These are so cute, the cutest I’ve received today,” he comments appreciatively before returning his gaze at you. “You sure about this, y/n?”

You nod, more convinced now that you saw his reactions towards it. “Yeah. I figured I’d want to give them to someone who’s going to actually like them.”

The soft ring of the bell alerts you that your next class is about to start. 

“Thanks Osamu,” you utter with a grateful smile before sauntering back to your classroom. 

--

“Oy ‘Samu, why are these chocolates so cute? How the hell can I eat these?” Tsumu whines.

“You shithead, those are mine!” Osamu rushes to where his twin and grabs the box protectively.

Suna just watches the two and silently waits for another fight to erupt.

“You’d just taste them and give them to me anyways. What’s the deal?” Atsumu asks with a frown.

“If you must know, ‘Tsumu. Y/n gave this to me,” Osamu announces with a condescending grin as Astumu gawks at him in disbelief. “No fucking way, you stinking liar,” Atsumu retorts.

Suna looks at the tiny box Osamu is holding and agrees with Atsumu. There is no way you’d give those to Osamu. You said so yourself this morning.

‘No way I’d waste my time on some boy on the very rare chance that he actually likes me back.’

Did you lie to him and made some for Osamu? Do you like Osamu?

Suna’s mind wanders back to the burns on your hand and arms and how your mom ‘supposedly’ asked you to help out in the kitchen. He knows something is off. You’re never asked to help out with anything that involves cooking, so why did you lie about it?

So what is going on? There’s just no way in hell you like Osamu. Not once have you mentioned liking his teammate enough for you to  venture into the ‘horrors of the kitchen’ (as you put it). And more importantly, why Osamu?

It is true that Suna doesn’t give a shit whether or not  he gets a mountain load of chocolates on this superficial holiday. He’s not eating them. 

However, he’d make an exception only if they come from you. He wouldn’t mind if they’re just store-bought ones as long as they’re from you. 

So why the fuck would you go to the troubles of making them for Osamu and not him? You can’t possibly like Osamu. He won’t allow it.

He marches to where the twins are and turns to Osamu. “Did y/n really give you that?”

Both the twins face him and while Osamu looks pensive, Atsumu wears a shit-eating grin. “Aww, Suna. Are you jealous that your beloved y/n gave us chocolates?”

“‘Tsumu, shut up for the love of God. And she didn’t give it to us. She gave it to me.” Osamu pulls the box closer to him possessively which ticks Suna off even more. 

“Did she say why?” Suna tries to sound calm despite the stupid jealousy bubbling up the pit of his stomach. 

“Obviously because-” Atsumu starts, but Osamu grabs his twin’s face with one hand to halt his babbling as he sighs to face Suna. 

“Actually, the box had your name in it,” Osamu admits. “She just ripped it out and said she’d rather give it to someone who’ll appreciate it.”

“-mmmmff Samu!” Atsumu successfully removes Osamu’s hand. “You shouldn’t have told him that! Do you realize that y/n didn’t want him to know?”

“Duh! Of course, I know. But I really can’t accept chocolates that’re supposed to be for another guy,” Osamu sighs before handing Suna the box. 

He opens it and sees the fuss Tsumu was making about it. They really are cute and are obviously made with care and precision. If someone else had told him that you made these, he wouldn’t have believed them.

But there’s something about the chocolates that he can’t ignore. 

“Why are there bites on the two pieces?” He asks as he lifts his gaze up from the chocolates. 

Atsumu puts his hands behind his head and starts whistling as he avoids Suna’s gaze while Osamu smiles apologetically. 

“Sorry, I wanted to see if they taste as good as they look,” Osamu confesses. As for Atsumu, Suna can already tell that the piss-haired setter just couldn’t help himself despite receiving so many already.

“They’re a bit bland, Suna. Tell y/n she needs to improve her baking skills,” Atsumu comments shamelessly which makes Suna scowl at Atsumu’s ungrateful ass. The fact that you made something look edible is already something commendable.

“They’re okay. Just needs a bit more sweetness,” Osamu backs his twin up.

He brings the remaining chocolate that’s still untouched to his mouth.

“What are you two talking about? It tastes perfectly fine,” he states truthfully. It’s just the right amount of sweetness that he’s able to finish it despite not really being a fan of chocolates. 

Osamu laughs softly before speaking. “She really did make them for you, Suna.”

--

That night, you toss and turn in your bed while trying to keep your focus on the movie you played. As entertaining as it is, you can’t fully enjoy it with constantly wanting to smash your head against the wall of your room.

For a good while, you really thought everything would go smoothly and that by the end of today, you and Suna would be more than just friends. 

Maybe today is a sign that you shouldn’t push it anymore. Suna said so himself: if someone likes a person, they don’t need the holiday to confess.

So why hasn’t he?

The answer is clear as day and you wish you were blind to see it, but you aren’t. 

There had been too many chances for you two to move your relationship forward, but not once had he shown a sign that he wanted to. 

He doesn’t like you like that. It’s just you and your delusional head. He doesn’t love you the way you love him. Even with the cute, romantic scene playing before you, you start tearing up. 

You grab one of your pillows and bury your face in it, effectively silencing the sob and stopping the tears that are coming as you remember your folly attempt to confess today. 

You should’ve been satisfied with the comfort of your friendship. If you hadn’t been so greedy, you wouldn’t have gotten hurt like this. 

You hear a text alert from your phone. You open it and see a text from the source of your misery.

‘Come out’

You don’t want to. Tomorrow you can be back to normal around him, but not tonight.

You hurriedly respond with a lie.

‘Went out zzz’

You throw your phone somewhere on your bed and lie down with your pillow still squeezed between your arms while you space out at nothing.

Your thirst brings you back to your senses so you stand up and get to the kitchen. When you come back to your room, you almost scream when you see Suna sitting slouching on your bed. 

“What the heck, Rin?! How did you get here?” 

“Your mother let me in. Why are you even asking obvious questions?”

You massage your temples as you plan to tell your mom later not to just let anyone in your room even though it’s someone she knows. You might be childhood friends but you’re no longer kids. He can’t just pop in and out of your room anymore like he used to.

“Why are you even here? I said I was out.”

“Your lights are open, dumbass,” he answers, to which you respond with a sigh.

“Didn’t it occur to you that I don’t want to see you?” 

He stands up from your bed and although his expression doesn’t change, you feel alarmed from how he’s towering over you without saying anything.

“W-what?” Your stutter betrays your attempt to sound fine.

“Why the fuck would you give Osamu chocolates that are supposed to be mine?” 

You gawk at him. He isn’t supposed to know that. That bastard, Osamu! You don’t have a prepared excuse for this kind of confrontation. 

“What’s it to you even? You would’ve thrown them away anyways,” you snap back with an accusatory tone.

“Not if they’re from you,” he discloses as his usually austere eyes soften up, holding your gaze. You feel like you’re about to melt.

You feel your heart beat wildly against your chest. Not long ago you had said that you didn’t want to see him, but now that he’s here, you don’t feel like moving. You don’t feel like going anywhere. Everything could be on fire around you but you’d still stay by his side.

But… this is not right. Did you already know? He doesn’t love you back.

You try to turn away to hide the gnawing pain in your chest, but he’s faster. He grabs your arm to pull you closer. When he dips down to claim your lips while his arms snake around your waist, you melt within his hold. 

His lips are so warm and uncharacteristically tender as he moves them intricately against yours, causing you to place both hands against his chest to feel him even more, to feel that he is real and not just a dream induced by how badly you yearn for him.

He pulls away a bit and finds a bewildered look on your face that just makes you look adorable. There had been many times when he thought about doing this, especially whenever you’re staring into nothingness with parted lips as if coaxing him to fuck everything else and just cross the boundary of your platonic relationship.

But to be honest, he didn’t like the complications of being in a romantic relationship with you when you already have this comfortable friendship. At the end of the day, he knows you have him and he has you. 

Yet, he absolutely despises the idea that you might have liked someone else. He’s never felt any resentment towards his teammates, not even to Astsumu who’s a fucking handful most of the time.

Only today.

Only when he saw that box of chocolates in Osamu’s hands that he realized that he didn’t want to share you with anyone.

It was selfish of him, wanting to keep you to himself but not really doing anything to actually make it happen.

That changes tonight. 

He removes one hand from your waist to hold your hand that’s resting on his chest.

“I love you, y/n.”

You blink twice at him, evidently surprised with his confession, but immediately recover when you look down and giggle softly. 

When you look back at him again, your eyes are a mixture of content and mirth. “I thought you said it’s idiotic to confess on Valentines Day,” you remind him with a wide smile.

His loving stare becomes a cold glare when you point out what he had said this morning. He didn’t plan to do it today. He just couldn’t wait until tomorrow, thereby forgetting that he had actually told you that. Although, he still believes people shouldn’t wait for the holiday to confess, it just so happened that today is when he decided to do it.

“Fine. I take it back,” he says out of petty spite.

“I’m kidding!” you respond defensively before intertwining his fingers with yours. “Actually, I was about to confess earlier, but you said the stuff about Valentines being dumb.”

“It still is,” he says, undeterred. In his defense, he really hadn’t been expecting you would. 

“Right. Yet, here we are,” you state as a matter of fact as you grip his hand tighter.

“Can you answer the damn confession already?” he asks exasperatedly which makes you laugh out loud. 

You settle down with an affectionate smile. “Yes, Rin. I love you too.”

He loses his stern expression as he takes your hand to his mouth and kisses it, rubbing the minor burn with his thumb, a reminder that he does appreciate what you did for him. 

“Happy Valentines, I guess,” he says before he goes for your lips again.

mlist of other stuff I wrote

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