#this is one of my most used cues
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This post is about teaching potty on cue for dogs.
Tagging @ringchollyandfriends
Potty on cue is one of the first things I teach, but it's still applicable to older dogs. I used a mark and reward method for this.
Things you need: a clear marker that means the dog did the right thing and will get paid for it and something the dogs finds valuable as a reward.
For a marker I use both a clicker and the word yes. These are paid 100% of the time. If you already have marker you use great. If not, take a few training reps to condition it. Easiest way is to have the dog do something simple they already know how to do and introduce the marker that way. For example cue the dog to sit, mark, and reward. Rinse and repeat until the dog understands the marker.
Start with times you know your dog is most likely to go to the bathroom when taken outside. When they go mark and reward. Do this consistently until you feel the dog understands that going to the bathroom outside is what's being rewarded.
Name your cue. I personally use "potty" but it can be whatever you want. Right before they are about to go say the cue. When they go, mark and reward. Again, consistency is key. How long you do this depends on the dog and how fast they pair the verbal cue with the action.
Next put it on cue. I typically do this by taking the dog when they most likely need to go, but not urgently. I say the cue while they're sniffing but not having displayed literal about to go signs. As soon as they go, mark and reward. In the beginning I give a lead time and so may wait a few minutes for them to go after being given the cue. If I've given the cue and they don't go within a reasonable time, we go back inside and the dog goes in the crate or a confined area I know they won't have an accident in. Wait five minutes, then bring them back out and cue again.
Once they have it on cue I use it to make sure the dog relieves themself before going into a space I definitely don't want them going to the bathroom. For instance if we're going into a building I'll have the dog go right before we enter.
The other thing I do, specifically for males who pee multiple times before being empty, is give them ample time to sniff and go outside. I also watch them carefully for signs that they are looking to go again and hustle them outside. This builds a history of them knowing I'm going to take them out to go.
For example - I get to agility class fifteen minutes early and let Forte sniff around, pee on everything (within reason) and poop before going inside to class. After his first run we go back outside so he can pee again. There are times when we run twice in a row so he's technically not going outside after his first run. But he is conditioned to know that he'll taken outside once we leave the ring. This has lead to no marking or inappropriate peeing in the ring, even when another dog does it in the run before us or he runs after a BIS has been on the course.
Hopefully this is helpful. Feel free to ask questions.
#dogblr#dog training#potty on cue#this is one of my most used cues#whether it helps prevent inappropriate marking in the ring#or accidents while out training/working#it's so helpful#also great for times when the weather is bad and i want the dog to go quickly so we can go back inside#just all around useful
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Nico referring to his mom as "Mama" implies he most likely at least used to refer to Hades as "Papa" and i 100% headcanon he still does but mostly in the manner of him having the entire Underworld wrapped around his finger for being the baby of the family
#pjo#riordanverse#nico di angelo#headcanon#my art#nico flexing youngest child privilages by pulling out the most pitiful expression he can manage#anyways i find it fun to explore character word choices#cause yknow no two characters are going to select their words the same way#or even necessarily think about it to the same degree#i like to think Nico thinks about his word choice a lot#so of course every time he uses ''papa'' he fully knows he's pulling the Baby Of The Family card#Hades definitely knows this too but falls for it every time anyways#cause Nico hasnt called him ''papa'' regularly since getting his memory wiped - just detached ''father'' or at best ''dad''#so it just reminds Hades of How Much He Just Wants His Children To Be Happy Like The Old Days#and how much poor Nico has been through and he's just the baby of the family and-#cue Nico smugly staring at the camera cause he knows how much power he holds#also i say Nico is Hades' only son cause mythologically even when Zagreus *is* Hades' son (rarely) he's. dead.#a major part of Zagreus' mythology is that he died#and im p sure every other deity said to be Hades' children are all goddesses and also are like 50% of the time not his#theres also only like 3 of them. and as far as we know in riordanverse canon one of them is implied to not be his daughter#so Nico is Hades' only son and also youngest in the family (cause Hazel is older by a month chronologically or 1 year biologically)#(and everybody else is a deity if children of hades at all)
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It was Maid Day today yesterday a week ago so I got struck by inspiration to draw the worsties, and it ran away from me into a whole AU where they’re coworkers at a maid cafe. She’s a med student & this is just a part time job, and this is his depression job while he gets his life back together. He needs something he can be workaholic about to forget what it’s like having a personal life and personal issues. He’s actually the accountant, but the new hire janitor (Izutsumi) doesn’t show up for half her shifts and is a sloppy worker, so he gets the extra work of doing her job on top of his because he’s undervalued and overworked. Of course, janitors also have an uniform to keep the aesthetic cohesion as they go about cleaning the place, of course.
Senshi’s the part time cook you only see slivers off, he’s kind and warm when you do see him and have a chat but most shifts he’s in and out the kitchen without a trace. Laios and Falin are regulars because Falin and Marcille are besties & in the same med school, Laios accompanies Falin as she visits her friend at work and gets hooked on the food. Chilchuck has to remind Marcille to work instead of chatting with Falin for an hour, and next thing he knows she’s distracting him from work too. That’s it that’s the AU. Inspired by this idol AU fanart a bit <3
This was not meant to be birthday gift but well…… Happy bday Chil!!!
Read from left to right
#Dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#Chilchuck tims#marcille donato#spoilers#dunmeshi au#Maid cafe au#Marchil#Workwife marchil save me. Kabuholm in the background bc i said so lmao#i think people forget marci n chil are coworker worsties first and foremost. Ppl should capitalize on it more#The orange hair swag that makes him look like a marketable idol more#You can tell idk how to draw maid outfits. I hate those hats sm I will miku miku beam them out of existence#Marcille does change her hairstyle everyday btw#they don’t get back together btw she goes you haven’t talked to me in 4 years and he immediately goes YOU haven’t talked to ME in 4–#i mean ehem i’m sorry haha… while Marcille is like 4 years?! 4 years…#Mei only did it bc Fler has been getting jittery again kept sighing#I wanted to draw Chil with a car key at his belt but it wasn’t meant to be#idk if marchil ever gets together in this one it’s an eternal summer coworker with tension situationship au#romance is when you slowly deteriorate his work ethics so he starts skipping on his worktime to spend it at the front messing around w you#once he’s blessedly in the office and he hears this huge crash and the Marci just goes ‘…… Chiiiiiil?’ cue sigh and having to repair#the coffee machine. So many lil comics i couldn’t indulge myself to draw save me#shoutout to the time as a cashier in training at a convenience store I was left by my coworker who was supposed to wash the greasy chicken#oven but didn’t so I had to clean it for the first time myself while I was alone in the store and was also supposed to man the front#Shoutout to my convenience store’s accountant helping us with cashier duties often when there was less job to do ty ty#Understaffed struggles are so real#People also call Chil a manager because the boss is most often away so he just does everything#There’s no union but maybe one day he’ll get to overthrow the boss idk#The pay IS good at least#Modern au
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There's a whoooole bunch of undead guys in Motor City! And while I can't go over every single one of them, here's a small selection of zombies you'll see here! You don't have to use the nicknames for them though, we are all aware of how dumb they sound.
YOU try coming up with a way to tell different zombies apart without sounding like a complete dumbass though. >:/
ROMEROS- Your classic zombie. Slow, shambling and trouble in large crowds. These guys outnumber most of the zombie types here 2 to 1. Compared the zombies they're named after, they're far more smarter than them. While you won't catch them using a rock to bash open a window, you'll at the very least be able to hold normal conversations with them as they're well... normal people still more or less!
You could always ask one what brought them back and sometimes they'll tell that it was due to a satellite that came back from Venus. Don't take it to heart though, it's mostly a joke.
LANDERS- Said to be the victims of a disease (probably rabies or mad cow disease or something, we don't fricking know), these zombies are bit uh... complicated. These guys take the longest to get back on track and get them acting like the humans they used to be. It's no fault of their own obviously, but man is their particular strain of zombification a complete BITCH to work with. It makes them bitey, spew-y and all around JERKS the first few months of unlife.
They're alright once you get them back down to normal but you really gotta stick it out through those months to do it. And the kicker? They can only make more of themselves via biting. Or if they've got a cold and are inconsiderate enough to not cover their mouths when they sneeze. Not that you'll catch any of the ones here biting people though. That's rude and they're more likely to be chowing down on junk food than people. They looove stuff like Ding Dongs and stuff like that.
Not every Lander is the same though, since some of them seem to act completely differently to the regular Landers. One of them snuck up on me the other day, it wasn't fun.
TRAINRUNNERS- Okay, forget what I said about the Landers. THESE guys are complicated. Kind of, I mean. They're fast, super durable for the most part and their strain is also spread through bite and boy, does it spread FAST. It's probably for the best that there's so few of them living here. That's nothing against them, of course but uh... it's not fun to deal with?
And if takes a while to get a Lander back on track, then it takes even longer for a Trainrunner. Which is not as pleasant as you can imagine when they get out of control but hey, we push through. Some of them are kind of prickly people to deal with though. We're not sure if that's because of the way their strain affects their brains or if some of them are natural born jerks. But either way, if you see some literally rotten looking people with varicose like veins and wearing sunglasses (their eyes ARE kind of gross looking), then you're seeing a Trainrunner. Just be cool around them and you'll be okay.
I dunno who originally coined their nickname though. We don't even have trains here?
NEWDEADS- A sort of catchall term for zombies that don't fit in the standard definition of zombie but are similar enough to their regular counterparts to qualify as one. It's not too uncommon to see a Newdead with a pulse (That's me!) but as long as they have a couple of traits seen in either Romeros, Landers, or Trainrunners, they can count as a Newdead. The one difference between a Newdead and the other zombie types though is that Newdeads don't have to worry about losing control and going on a complete rampage just to eat some dang flesh. Newdeads are kind of like humans the most? But also kind of not? They're stuck in a weird in between of being both and neither.
Don't ask how a zombie can have a pulse though. Yeah, I know it doesn't make sense but we're all made and sometimes rot and decompose in different ways and you'll break your brain trying to understand it so don't fricking question it. We're all kind of dead and that's just it! :>
Anyways, that should be just about every type of zombie seen here mostly! Might have missed a few but I can always edit this thing. Or just make new pamphlets. Either one. Next one's going to be about vampires and let me tell you that one's gonna be wayyyy easier! Well bye! ^_^b <- (me giving you a thumbs up)
#//yeah don't ask how much time this took to put together. it took enough and we'll leave it at that DBSHJFHNJ#//was originally going to make this a photopost but it got a little wordy so i turned it into a post that was written ic by lambda#//also keeping to what i said on my last post these guys all have traits that are taken from different zombie movies! right up to their-#//-nicknames being references or allusions to the movies their brand of undead is from#//i wanted to work in dead.ites too but didn't have anything past a short 'these guys are demons using people's corpses to get around.-'#//'- no they are not super old school vampires. there's a difference.' but nothing else was coming up so their section got scrapped rip#//'mocha does that mean most of motor city qualifies as newdeads?' perhaps#//anyways if it wasn't obvious romeros are your classic day/dawn of the de.ad zombie#//landers take cues from zombie.land and its sequel double tap#//and trainrunners are based off of the ones from train to bu.san#//might go and tweak these later but basically the gist is these movies do exist in lambda's universe and there's enough undead for people-#//-to be like 'huh you guys kind of remind me of this movie' for there to be little silly names for it#//ANYWAYS ZOMBIE POST GO THROWS IT AT YOU ALL#hidden depths {info}#city of second chances {motor city}
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Interesting. Don’t necessarily think I’m autistic but I have more going on than just ADHD and I’m not sure what that is.
#I’m not even sure if the ADHD is actually ADHD either or if it’s just technology addiction#Gonna get a REAL neuropsych evaluation at some point out of sheer curiosity as to what the fuck is wrong with me#I relate to a lot of autistic things and I relate to a lot of ADHD things; but I don’t entirely relate to the majority of either population#and I don’t relate to people with both enough to think I have both#I’ve begun treating myself as if I am autistic just for Kicks and using things that help them and it’s helping in some ways#but I know it’s probably not autism because even though I struggle socially; it’s not because of the same reasons#I understand social cues; I was only accidentally perceived as rude as a kid (and most kids are kind of blunt)#(Mostly a moderate amount of “Stop correcting me! It’s disrespectful!” from my parents)#And nowadays because of how much psychology and acting I study; I can perceive shrimp social cues#And I’m purposefully doing all the right things but it still feels like I fail social interactions because of my lack of assertiveness#which I KNOW come from being raised in a cult#so perhaps my odd social behavior is from CPTSD from being raised in a puritan doomsday cult as an only child#Because I was NOT introverted or sensitive to others as a child#I did not have routines as a child and the ones I did have were for fun and did not distress me if I strayed from them#But now I need structure as an adult because I don’t know what else to do with myself if I have nowhere to be#But at the same time everyone feels worse when they have no routine or expectations#And is it actually inattentive ADHD or severe derealization and an itch to do as many things as possible#because I spent my childhood being raised in a boring doomsday cult by disabled older parents who couldn’t physically do much?#(And I don’t fault my parents for being disabled but I do fault them for the whole doomsday cult thing)#So I spent my whole childhood doing mentally tedious things when really I’m more wired for physically spontaneous things#Because I was not allowed to walk around the neighborhood alone until I was sixteen#And I couldn’t hang out with friends I wanted to hang out with because they were bad association#So of course I got really good at drawing even though I don’t even like drawing that much#Of course I got really good at writing even though I don’t like writing that much#Now that I don’t need to escape from anything I find I actually hate drawing and writing because it’s such a chore#they make my heart rate accelerate in a way I don’t like to feel#(I hate writing less than drawing)
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just randomly remembered that during my like 10+ attempts at the shadow yukiko fight i more or less consistently ran out of revival beads so yosuke was just dead (well unconscious but whatever) on the ground for like half the fight gfhfjvhfhfhd-
#puppy rambles#persona 4#p4#as much as i love him he's not always the most useful. that fight is one of those times-#still always keep him in the party though. perfect p4 team to me is yosuke teddie and naoto#i haven't gotten to naoto joining the party yet but i love her. trans icon. vibing naoto is the best thing to happen to the persona 4 fandom#and yosuke and teddie are my favorites of the investigation team thus far. the others are all very close but they're above the others#dunno why i like yosuke so much. souyo is def part of it#and teddie is very very silly. idk why people hate him so much like yea he can be kinda annoying but he's only existed for a few months#he doesn't understand social cues yet. he's just autistic leave him alone vhgbhmfhdf- /hj#i feel like a lot of persona characters have autism vibes but that's probably at least partially just me projecting#at the very least i'm sure we can all agree that aigis and marie do. autism arcana#that's. probably why they're my favorite girls ggyfubhngd-#aigis is easily my favorite persona character. she's cute and also silly :3 and bisexual i love the bisexual toaster and her doors <3#(aikoto + hamugis polycule for the win. makoto and kotone aren't dating obv. ryoji's also dating both of them separately#)#and marie is cute and also silly i'm totally dating her. love how persona technically lets you polyamory so long as you don't date everyone#i have to max her social link for the golden-exclusive content anyway so might as well#‚‚‚ this post got derailed. i like the part where i talked about my beloved persona 3 bisexual polycule#p4's def the best persona game i think but i love p3 very much too. makoto kotone aigis and ryoji are unsurprisingly my faves#really love yukari too. i spent several hours trying to figure out how to add mods to p3p so i could date her as kotone#it was not successful. i'll probably get it on steam when i inevitably play it gghdhchvhv-#and i'll get reload at somepoint too. probably on steam at least first so i can use the kotone mod i need my girlie#makoto is also great i love him. emo non-binary icon. but also silly girlboss. they're both so mentally unwell#that reminds me of a drawing i have in my drafts i should post that#oh also it's aikoto week apparently??? which is very poggers. idk the prompts but i need to draw my sillies regardless#i do slightly prefer hamugis but they're both very very cute to me. the toaster has two hands she can kiss both the doors-#idk why that joke's so funny to me. i should stop now-
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Any of Riff Kitten's stuff if you like Electro Swing! Intergalactic is a good one of theirs if you like songs with lyrics 👍 (also meant to suggest earlier Musical Ghost's recent String Theocracy cover for a vtuber cover sbrjfbuv)
oho. i do adore some good electroswing, and that one does indeed go hard.. iwas going to go on about it more but i was Completely diverted by the string theocracy cover JHBJFD
[INST] normally i am insanely, Insanely picky with covers of music i already enjoy, but man. mannnn. yeah ok yeah im down with this one 👍
its very clean. the addition of (what i think is) the accordion is Really selling it to me, adore when thats executed well. adds a sort of warmth to the whole thing. the chimes also provide a very very nice element to the whole feel of it. didnt miss out on any important stings, really executed the crescendos well. the slide into the "cut down your loss" lyrical section? clean clean cleannnn. i can get with it. hoho.
[VOCAL] i almost completely missed this one bc it didnt show up in the songname/artist search, but luckily. description link. thumbsup. i like it okay! her voice is nice, though its a type of singing im not the Most fond of. i get a lil distracted with it. =w='' but. ill refrain on that. i do like some of the little vocal flairs between lines, especially towards the beginning. very pretty editing as well, i. wasnt expecting that much visual flair sdhfbdjhf
#i still have a bit of difficulty elaborating on opinions past 'it isnt the original. blocked.' but. nods nods nods.#opens th channel 'i swear ive seen this befo-- GREAT AT CRIME OFFICIAL INSTRUMENTAL?????' so. JHBSFJDHG#piktalk#if youre Interested in my yapping about nonsense uhh#i still dont dislike the vocals really. its mostly just this feeling of overpresenting with the voice; to me.#its very breathy and distracting to me; and it misses certain cues because of the additional flair and etc. though again; pokes the above.#i feel it clashes with the original intent of this sort of polite simplicity; how it defines what it Is and what it Means.#featherlight while the lyrics are so loaded. the implications of it and all. its the contrast.#it makes it feel a bit sluggish and heavy to me; in favor of pursuing a certain sound; one i dont really think meshes so well.#its most prevalent at the 'artificial beauty' line; most clearly. it loses that cohesive rhythm a little that was so important.#though; it fits the inst cover pretty well. i wouldnt like it as much if it just used the original instrumental. feelings still stand ithin#nods nods. thatsall ^_^
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i just saw someone say that "the vast majority of the userbase is complaining" about tumblr's recent layout change. i see this a lot after a change: people complaining about it (sometimes without saying what about it is bad, making it sound like either it's self-evident (it usually is not) or just that it's bad because it's change and change is always bad) and saying that everyone else is complaining about it too. i don't know how to tell you this but a) you don't follow every user on tumblr so how can you possibly know what "everyone" or "the majority of users" thinks about anything and b) ONLY THE PEOPLE WHO FEEL VERY STRONGLY ARE TALKING ABOUT IT!! people who are not bothered are not spending time posting about how unbothered they are! please look up "selection bias" and stop making me read this nonsense with my own eyeballs.
#i don't get what's so bad abt this change bc it doesn't bother me & no one is explaining it! the most i've seen is it's 'like twitter'#which people don't like i guess bc this might imply that tumblr could be taking more cues from twitter than just the layout?#which is also fallacious reasoning#some changes i do hate. like for instance the change that made it so i can no longer click to the version that someone rbed from#which breaks the prev tag culture :(#but some changes are whatever! and some changes are good even!!#it's fine if it takes time to get used to something being different of course but it seems like the reaction on here can be so extreme#so fast. 'bombard the app with 1-star reviews!!!!' how about you give it a couple weeks and maybe you'll calm down.#i think there's a sense of 'if it ain't broke don't fix it' but it is broke though! tumblr is unsustainable and they gotta do stuff to make#the site more attractive and easier to use for new users. they can do that without losing what makes tumblr tumblr#the layout is not what makes tumblr tumblr! the functionality is. and sometimes that does change for the worse#and i get having complaints about that. but not really about moving the location of some buttons#anyway i haven't said anything before because i don't have strong feelings about this UX change but i DO have strong feelings about#the vague yet very forceful complaints about the UX change that i keep seeing lol#tumblr#fallacies#anyway don't get distracted by my tags. this post is not really about me not understanding what's so bad about this specific change#it's about people who hate a change assuming that everyone agrees with them because they're only seeing the reactions from#a biased subset of the userbase#(by biased i don't mean the users are biased. i mean the sample is biased...it's highly likely to include people who feel strongly#and unlikely to include people who are neutral or feel less strongly)
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I do not bother to check if Getter and Big O ever interacted in SRW because I’m so use to the other mechas I like being in the same game as getter but being so different that they never have any story reasons to have interactions since Getter is only ever allowed to interact with mazinger, OG gundam and any other combiners + it’s all in untranslated hell so I won’t even know wtf was said if there WERE interactions but god damn it I keep rotating a scenario where Roger negotiates to get Ryoma out of jail even though I know for a fact that DIDNT happen despite how many times they used arma and how Z2 actually adapted it fucking correctly for once but it’s just so funny to imagine.
#meg text#getter robo#the big o#i fucking hate being cursed with crossover ideas when in fanfics that’s ALL there ever is#big o only has it slightly better bc there are some fics but it’s by no means a active tag#and I still need to do my part in at least writing one thing for it but I’m not in the proper mood still#but I legit can’t tell if it’s hyperfixation or the idea of ryoma interacting with rogers normal ass is so funny#Roger is literally one of the most normal super robot pilots compared to the majority but especially compared to ryoma#he has a temper but by no means hot blooded and usually keeps it under control he just has a sense of justice#cue to him meeting “angriest fucking guy to exist” and he’s like “what the fuck”#Ryoma HONESTLY could have funnier interactions if they put him with people who are nothing like him#but noooo it’s always combiners or the other two “big 3” mecha it’s apart of#and I get why the whole big 3 thing in universe or just “hey are robots are similar” is cute#but it never hurts for this loner to talk to more people if they’re gonna characterize him as more laid back#(which- I don’t know how to feel about but I’m glad Ryomas other traits get some spotlight)#since it would be more flanderize if they just focused on him being angry#it still feels so fucking weird how calm ARMA is but that’s what happens when you can’t use anything else#new when will you return from the Wii dimension I don’t understand why your so unpopular
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Next step on the journey of self-indulgent ghoul-Durge headcanons which I'm bizarrely invested in is: 'Replace Doresain as God-King of the Ghouls.'
Vel's sort of an elf, and half-murder god so that's a step closer than working from scratch. It'd be simple enough to start a cult following and get deliberately muddled up with Doresain as an identity and use that as a jumping point from which to steal his portfolio/domain...
#They even both favour the scimitar as a weapon#There's a whole new timeline opening up in my collection of timelines. This one might be canon to me#Being used to ghoul-type nonsense Durge would be able to adapt faster in theory getting past the overly feral stage#So I don't think it'd be a dealbreaker for his relationship with Astarion. Vanity and physical issues also come with workarounds.#Ghouls have very long dextrous tongues so that will pay off in some ways that make up for a lot#Take a cue from Gortash's wardrobe: gold claws#Gold claws and roast dwarf instead of raw - he will be the most cultured ghoul around#Mostly because vampires are squeamish babies and relationships come with sacrifices#babbling#/durge#edgelord hours#OCs#Vel
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oh christ ive just remembered. my sister's a massive yuki fan. now you may think "oh well liv youre autistic so once she finds out what happened she—" shes a diehard max stan as well. she gets upset whenever i/others bring up his ableism and brushes it off. it does not matter how many times i try to explain to her how this hurts. when i say allistic people choose their comfort over addressing ableism every single time i say it with experience. these next few days are going to be fucking miserable. ive half a mind to go over to my friends this is going to be unbearable i dont want to go through this.
#absolutely no one in my family takes these slurs seriously. god love her my mum is the most dedicated one#to understanding my diagnosis but she still drops it and doesn't understand why i dont want her using it#even when she 'doesnt mean it like that'#why of all the drivers in motorsport did she have to choose the one whos used slurs repeatedly#i love my sister i really do but the amount of times this has wrung me out and brought me to tears#no matter how much begging or trying to explain she just doesnt care. because while she loves me the things she hates most about me#and reacts most aggressively towards are my autistic traits#(volume control. trying to share my special interests. poor social cues/understanding.)#some days i think about distancing myself after moving out. because the energy i put into listening to her talk about her interests#or vent/yell at me about work and stuff only to be met with no like. attempt at reciprocated listening is so miserable#i just want to scream
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I don’t know anymore have a Caleb prepared to Fight for his bestie
“she asked for no pickles” lookin scene
#his character arc from goofy tall guy to Don’t Talk To Me Or My Friends Ever Again is WILD#hershel’s octonauts au#octonauts gups#in all seriousness this scene is based off of the concept of lars making his way onto the ship#caleb and beast both want him DEAD dead#also to explain emma:#she gained a genuine phobia from the trauma of her experience with lars and has nightmares about him like. 3 times a week#bundle that info with the fact that caleb and emma are quite close and badda bam you have the scene#technically speaking emma did ask for no pickles. she asked to not Be the pickles.#i’m normal about these two specifically i need to study their friendship under a microscope#to ramble about caleb for a second sorry-#he had enough soup before his death for the effects to. well. take effect. and he gained a rather mild form of amnesia but still Amnesia#he doesn’t fully remember darwin but knows in his heart that darwin is important to him so he stays near them when possible#(as a result from the trauma of being murdered) he sometimes has moments where he Shuts Down#but he’ll still try to be close to any of his friends ; though those moments bring him closer to emma because she’s usually the one to#guide him when he does that (she does it too)#he wants lars dead because he’s being angry ‘on behalf’ of darwin and emma his two favourite people in the world#obviously thats not really how it works but that’s what he feels is going on#’if not me then who’ type of situation with this guy yk.#also ALSO one time he absolutely destroyed felix because he found out that he’s been manipulating emma so there’s also that#caleb is VERY protective about emma actually. most of the time it’s unnecessary honestly#it only really becomes useful against the other spirits or against lars#like in the picture !! woah it comes full circle i know right#thats my cue to post the thing . sighs . caleb i love you don’t let lars hurt anyone else
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gender my beloved behated
#love how ive been using multiple pronouns for like two years now and he/him for over a year and only now am like Wait#idk i think i started using she/they out of a rejection of the traditional views of femininity and disconnect from aroaceness#and i do really like that choice i made! it fit me for a while. it sounds nice.#i did feel kind of bad about it at first. like i was copying people to fit in. despite the fact i genuinely liked she/they.#i felt so guilty when people used they/them bc i thought i was faking it#but i did grow out of that thankfully#and then in math class one day i was like hm i would not object to he/him so why not just. add it.#just as a thing to throw in there. girl in a guy way.#cue rinse and repeat the they/them thing.#and then i kinda didn't think about it for a while? it just was?#every once in a while that “you're faking it” voice would come back.#and then a new one came in.#why would i be faking it. i dont think most cis people think like this#most cis people dont have problems looking in the mirror working out.#most cis people dont dread looking in the window with a backpack on.#most cis people dont have nights where they sit there and go “guy”.#i dont really know what my gender even would be#my gender isnt girl. i know that. i don't mind being perceived as one though.#i dont have any issue playing girls sports and hanging out with girls and identifying as sapphic/lesbian#but i also dont think im just a guy. i dont connect with all of masculinity. some sure. but not a whole lot.#i used to consider agender but i dont think that applies anymore bc there is definitely something there.#i dont really like a lot of other labels. none of them fit#i like just identifying as me. im just me! your good friend aura. someone who is kind and passionate and hard working#i just wish i had the language to figure out what it is im feeling.#i know my preferences for pronoun order changes! its just scary when he/him is the favorite for this long.#i like she/her. it's familiar and soft and kind.#they/them is cool too! its yellow. a nice one.#i dont know how to feel about he/him yet. it feels forbidden. like im not allowed to like it.#but i do anyways#idk. i'll figure it out. or not. i just wanted to put this out there.
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is there any way that i can tell moirail that theyre definitely autistic or at least suggest that they look into it without sounding mean
#they walk with their arms straight at their sides they dont understand social cues their special interest is definitely herpetology#(hypothetical or otherwise) they tv talk all the time (although the tv is usually memes) they use scripts for most interactions they get#overwhelmed by loud noises and screw their eyes shut and cover their ears and rock back and forth when they happen#they dont like being touched all that much (which kinda sucks for me since thats my love language but its ok) idk their opinions on#eye contact but ill ask. ive just been taking notes for a while plus their mom is autistic (self diagnosed good for her) and idk if that#plays into anything but theres that#some more surface level things are that they like dragons and are ace and wear the same outfit every day basically or the same type at leas#(collared shirt and a skirt or leggings. or both. i saved them from jeans under a skirt at least) they like dnd and basically all their#friends are nd. ive observed that they drift to the neurodivergent ppl in a group and make fun of the neurotypical ones#so yeah. help. also a mean kid at golf camp called them autistic as an insult so idk how to say it w/o it sounding like that#like they were like “haha a kid called me autistic. isnt that crazy. im so neurotypical” and went on to call some reptile a “crocodilian”#and make everyone at the table watch multiple minute long videos of the same lizard they saw in hawaii#oh oh and ive noticed that they have hyperempathy but low emotional intelligence like they wont notice if im like super depressed but theyll#burst into tears if a lizard is held wrong. or if someone like throws a toy at a wall#and they hate little kids because theyre overwhelming and unpredictable
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As a late diagnosed autist I will say one of the most damaging but transformative experiences I've ever had was being misdiagnosed with BPD.
Everyday my heart goes out to people with BPD.
The amount of stigma and silencing they face is astonishing and sickening.
I took DBT for years. Therapists use to turn me away because of my diagnosis.
I would be having full blown autistic meltdowns, crying for help literally - but because I was labeled as BPD ANY time I cried I was treated as manipulative and unstable.
As if the only reason I could be crying was if I was out to trick someone.
95% of the books out there with Borderline in the title are named shit like 'How to get away from a person with Borderline', 'How to stop walking on eggshells (with a person who has BPD)'
I was never allowed to feel true pain or panic or need.
That was 'attention seeking behavior', not me asking for help when a disability was literally inhibiting my ability to process emotions.
There were dozens of times where I had a full meltdown and was either threatened with institutionalization or told I was doing it for attention.
My failing relationships weren't due to a communication issue, or the inability to read social cues. No, because I was labeled borderline, my unstable relationships were my fault. Me beggong nuerotypicals to just be honest and blunt with what they meant was me pestering them for validation.
Borderline patients can't win.
And the funny thing is - I asked my therapist about autism. I told her I thought I was on the spectrum.
BPD is WILDLY misdiagnosed with those with autism and I had many clear signs.
Instead - she told me 'If you were autistic we wouldn't be able to have this conversation'. She made me go through a list of autistic traits made clearly for children, citing how I didn't fit each one.
And then she told me that me identifying with the autism community was the BPD making me search for identity to be accepted - and that I wasn't autistic, just desperate to fit in somewhere.
I didn't get diagnosed for another ten years. For ten years I avoided the autism community - feeling as if I were just a broken person who wanted to steal from people who 'really needed it'.
Because of my providers - I began to doubt my identity MORE, not less.
Ten years of thinking I was borderline and being emotionally neglected and demonized by a system meant to help me.
To this day, I still don't trust neurotypicals. Not fully.
I know I'm not borderline now - but my heart aches for them. Not for the usual stuff. But for the stigma. And the asshole doctors. And the dismissiveness and threatening and the idea of institutionalization hanging over their head.
I love Borderline people. I always will. I'm not Borderline but if you are I love you and I'm sorry.
You're not a bad person. You're not a therapists worst nightmare, you are a human with valid feelings and fears.
Borderline people I'm sorry.
#autism#bpd#borderline personality disorder#actually autistic#neurodivergent#neurodivergency#neurodiversity#cluster b
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being autistic is getting made fun of and othered even by autistic people
#i got lowkey made fun of by one of my favorite autistic stylists#she posted about a silent appointment so i commented complimenting the work and asking how they indicate they want a silent appointment#she said: they don’t talk#like cool thanks for making me the butt of the joke bc i had a valid question#bc some people make it an option in their booking site and as someone who misses social cues i wanted to know what other autistic stylists#were doing about it. bc i want to be an inclusive stylist and I want to know all the ways I can accommodate people#i guess it’s not that deep but damn even autistic people make me feel like shit for not getting social cues#i’ve also realized how little i can relate to most autistic people which was pretty sad to realize#i just unfollowed her and am telling myself i don’t care bc she doesn’t even mask so what the fuck doesn she know about accommodating people#and empathy#a lot of people use autism as an excuse to be rude#or worse#makes me feel like a loser bc social media is the only type of community i have around hair being at home 24/7 and my presence is almost#always unwelcome#but it’s the only way i have to interact with my passion
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