#she posted about a silent appointment so i commented complimenting the work and asking how they indicate they want a silent appointment

[dreaminginholo]

being autistic is getting made fun of and othered even by autistic people

[hanoella]

Affettuoso- With Feeling (Part 3)

Pairing: Bucky x Pianist!Reader

Set after the events of TFATWS: In an effort to start over and make a home in Louisiana, Bucky meets a friend of Sam’s who ends up being his landlord. With only a driveway to separate them, he finds that he’s not the only one looking for a fresh start.

Series tags/warnings: Slow Burn, Eventual Bucky x Reader, Mentions of Domestic Abuse, Canon Level Violence

Part 3 Word Count: 3k

A/N: Can you tell I don't really have a posting schedule? lol. I also introduced links to the specific pieces I had in mind. I'm using soundcloud because I don't think everyone has access to spotify. Trying to be reader friendly! This can be read with or without the audio, as I do my best to still convey the thought in the fic. Though if you can, I highly recommend :)

Thanks again for all your support! Every heart and comment motivates me and is just so wonderful

Read Part 1; Masterlist

---

A few days had passed since the night that Bucky had overheard your troubles. It had been quiet since, and you hadn’t left the house. The curtains were opened during the day and closed at night, the only telltale signs that you existed.

Doesn’t she have to work? Bucky thought to himself. He speculated all the different possibilities as he used the riding mower around the property. Maybe you were an heiress? You seemed pretty down to earth though. Or maybe you sold a patented idea for a ton of money. All this land had to have been expensive. And to not request actual money from him?

He eyed up the width of the gate for your fence. The riding mower couldn’t fit so he would have to use a push mower for your fenced off yard. He hadn’t seen one in the garage. Maybe the old shed at the back of your yard had one? Bucky parked the mower in the garage, taking a moment to make a mental list of everything. Depending on if he found anything in the shed, he might need to buy a few basic tools and a chainsaw for that fallen tree.

He walked out of the garage and over to the shed. The leaves were changing color and it brought a whole new atmosphere to the secluded forest area. Opening the gate of the weathered white fence, he looked around to see if you were out. No signs of life. Entering the yard and closing the gate behind him, he started walking to the back. Halfway through, he stopped at the fire pit. The grey stone blocks were starting to crumble, with a few of the bricks having fallen off. It would probably be really nice if he got a little bit of cement mix and filled in the gaps. Bucky made another mental note.

The shed had no padlock so he was able to open it with no problem. Amongst the cobwebs and bags of soil, was an older green push mower that looked like it might work. He gave the gas a pull and got no response back. Looking underneath, Bucky saw what might be the problem. He’d have to take a closer look later. Putting the lawn mower back onto its wheels, he pushed it across the yard, pausing when he saw movement though the glass doors of the back patio.

Craning his neck to avoid the glare, he saw you sitting at your fancy full keyboard. The way the piano was against the opposite wall, your back was to him. You had big over-ear headphones plugged into it, so he couldn’t hear the sound but he saw the flurry of keys being pressed down. Whatever you were playing, you played passionately. Hands and arms gracefully moved despite the speed at which they were moving. Enhanced hearing coming into play, he heard the muffled clicks of the fluttering keys. Suddenly, you pressed down forcefully, holding whatever chord you had struck as your shoulders gently relaxed. A deep breath. Arm creating a graceful arc as if you had studied ballet, you pressed gently on another chord. And another. Bucky counted three more times you did this before you let your hands gently fall from the keys to your lap. Several moments passed before slid the headphones off of your ears to sit wrapped around your neck. Another deep breath. This time as the breath escaped you, you stayed slouched, head tilting up to stare at nothing on the wall.

A buzz broke Bucky from his trance.

“Call me, new mission” The text from Sam on his home screen said.

He pocketed his phone, glancing through the glass one more time. There you still sat.

Unmoving.

---

The roar of the plane’s engine was just loud enough to drown out Bucky’s thoughts without being annoying. If it weren’t for the adrenaline of the recovery mission under the cover of nightfall, he probably would’ve been lulled to sleep. Beside him sat Sam, looking on his phone for the exact coordinates of the politician they had been sent to rescue.

“Here it is. I’m assuming there’s some sort of underground base since there are no heat signatures anywhere within the radius where he was taken. It should take us about ten more minutes before we’re directly over it.”

Bucky hummed in acknowledgement.

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Earth to Bucky.”

“What does your friend do?” Bucky asked suddenly, sitting up straighter and turning towards him.

“… What?”

“What does she do? I’ve never seen her leave the house. Is she okay?”

“If you’re asking why she doesn’t leave the house, it’s because her contract doesn’t start for a while. She’s technically still supposed to be in physical therapy but she hasn’t found a place yet. You know, your whole routine gets messed up when you move.”

“For her shoulder?”

Now it was Sam’s turn to look at Bucky, trying to decipher the motive behind these questions. Bucky shifted his weight in the chair, antsy under the scrutiny.

“Never mind, I-”

“Yes, for her shoulder.” Sam said, cutting him off. He stopped himself from asking why Bucky wanted to know. There was an awkward pause before Bucky explained himself.

“I just wanted to know. I’m not used to seeing people so…”

“Similar to yourself?”

“I was gonna say isolated but fair point.” Bucky admitted. Sam leaned back in his chair, looking straight forward.

“She’s been through a lot… I know you heard some of it.”

Bucky blinked in surprise.

“I realized the window was open when I could hear you drive off.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s alright, it’s good that you know.” Sam said as he held up his hand to cut Bucky off.

“She’s just trying to get a fresh start. She’s in a raw emotional space and in the meantime is a little skittish. Just like someone else I know.” Sam jabbed his elbow into Bucky’s side as he enunciated the last sentence.

“Okay, okay, I get it. I’m trying!” He shouted as he held one hand up defensively and using the other to block the second jab Sam was trying to get in. Sam chuckled and then stood up, grabbing a parachute pack and tossing it at Bucky, who caught it without even looking.

“Figured you might wanna try an actual chute this time.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and mouthed Sam’s words mockingly with a grimace as he put the backpack on. Clipping it into place, he joined Sam at the side door of the plane.

“She used to play in an orchestra you know.” Sam said wistfully. “The piano. That’s actually how we met. She had volunteered to play a small concert before the dinner. It really helped raise a lot of money for the VA.”

Bucky stayed silent, prompting him to continue.

“Then that bastard she was engaged to beat her and then shoved her down a set of concrete steps when she tried to leave him. It was like a month after we all came back. She was in the hospital for a while. Broken ribs, broken shoulder, and a nasty concussion to boot. Neighbor saw the whole thing and called the cops but the courts were so backed up and the case fell through the cracks. Wouldn’t leave her alone after he got out. So, I pulled some strings and helped her move down here on the fly.”

“… That’s terrible.”

Bucky didn’t know what to say or how to react. They stood in silence, taking a moment to pay a respect of sorts to the trials you have been through. Then Sam broke the silence.

“She just needs time to heal in more ways than one. But she’s strong. Resilient.”

Putting a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, he squeezed it lightly with reassurance.

“Reminds me of someone else I know.” Sam said, finishing the conversation and pulling his goggles over his eyes, giving Bucky the opportunity to take the compliment without feeling too on the spot.

Pulling the door open, Sam shouted over the wind.

“Ready?”

Bucky nodded. Sam jumped from the plane and deployed the wings, the shield shining in the moonlight. Bucky jumped right behind him, using the glint of the silver star to guide his descent as he followed the man that gave the shield its meaning.

---

You laid with your head down on the kitchen table, letting the last golden rays of sun warm the side of your face. You were exhausted from going to physical therapy, especially since today had been the first appointment. All the measurements, all the exercises, all the stretching.

All the questions.

“So, how did you break your shoulder?” the young blonde physical therapist asked.

“Ah, I… fell down some stairs.” You said, looking down at your hands in your lap.

She didn’t look up from the papers, instead just raising an eyebrow.

“You also cracked some ribs and had a concussion?”

“… They were concrete.”

She looked up from the papers at you, analyzing. Her gaze softened and she asked no further questions on how these serious injuries had been obtained.

“Let’s look at your range of motion.”

You had practically stumbled into the house, kicking off your sneakers and plopping down at the kitchen table. Minutes passed by as you regained your breath, heartbeat steadying. The house was slightly cold since you had turned the heat down this morning. As your sweat cooled, you wrapped your arms around your legs in an attempt to keep you warm without getting up.

The sun feels so warm… You thought to yourself drowsily, feeling slightly less lonely. The sun was a cheap substitute for the warmth of a partner…

---

You jolted upright, the kitchen dark and cold. Neck and shoulder stiff from the awkward position you had dozed off in. Feeling the dryness of your mouth, you got up, stretching your neck gently while you walked to the fridge to get water. Chugging about half the bottle, you squinted at the clock. You had been asleep for about forty-five minutes. Groaning, you put the bottle down on the counter and walked into the living room to close the curtains. Grabbing one in each hand, you went to pull them together when you hesitated, noticing that Bucky’s apartment was dark for the third day in a row. The sleek motorbike that was usually parked under the slight overhang of the garage was missing as well.

He was probably on a mission, right? Not that it was any of your business. You shut the curtains and turned off the lights before lightly padded down the hall, stopping to adjust the thermostat. The heat kicked on, sending a puff of cold air your way. You shivered as you walked with a quickened pace to your room, shutting the door and heading into the master bathroom, turning the hot water on with just a tad of cold.

Waiting for the shower to warm up, you leaned over the sink and looked into the mirror. Dark circles under your eyes. Small scar on the bridge of your nose. Running your hand through the roots of your hair, you felt for the scar where the stitches had been. When was the last time you had a haircut? Or put on some makeup?

Some higher being must’ve felt pity for you since the steam from the shower fogged the glass, preventing you from tearing yourself apart any further. Stepping underneath the warm stream, you let the warmth seep into your muscles, then bones, filling every fracture and break with a temporary sense of wholeness until the emptiness of your heart and home caused it slowly to drip out until it, along with you, was gone.

---

The next morning, you weren’t motivated to do anything. You lounged around the house, sipping on coffee and browsing on your phone for furniture, clothes, even sneaking a peak at some pianos. Wanting to invest in one you’d use for the next several decades, you had put off buying one until the money from your contract with the orchestra started in a month. You were still well off, nowhere near struggling and probably wouldn’t ever be unless you decided to buy a mansion (which was a no). You just wanted to be careful.

In the afternoon, you popped a pain killer and muscle relaxer in preparation for the few hours you wanted to practice. Thirty minutes went by and the ever-present ache in your shoulder calmed enough to let you practice with relative peace. Sitting on the bench in front of the keyboard, you pondered what you might play to warm up.

Hmm, maybe a Chopin prelude? Short, emotional, familiar.

Your left hand held the soft deep chords as your right hand softly flitted around the higher notes. Breathing in and out with the music, you tried to ignore the ache that start to surround your shoulder.

Playing the last few notes, you paused before reaching over to the bottle of painkillers.

---

Shortly after finishing up, you dragged a small table outside next to the wooden bench swing that was hanging on the porch. Bundled up in a soft sweatshirt, long-sleeve shirt, wool lined leggings, fuzzy socks and slippers, you brought out your hot tea, several blankets, a pillow, and a book you had been meaning to read for months. You were determined to do something besides practice, watch TV, and scroll on your phone.

You settled onto the bench, wrapping the blanket around you, nice and toasty from the layers trapping in the heat of a thorough practice session. The extra medication had really helped keep the pain at bay. Tentatively sipping the steaming cup, you closed your eyes to further appreciate the sweet tones of peach and honey. Setting the cup in your lap with one hand, you used your other hand to flip open to the first page.

---

Bucky hadn’t expected the mission to get so complicated. Finding the base was one thing, navigating in and out of the expansive maze was another. It took a few days to successfully get the target out and back to the embassy. He hadn’t properly slept during that time due to taking shifts with Sam. Not that it was any different from how he slept at home.

The sun was letting its last few rays bless the earth when he turned onto the driveway. Taking it easy on the gravel, he eased his posture and slowed the bike. He put pressure on the brakes as he made it past the final wall of trees that hid the water that was reflecting the last bit of color left in the sky. Rolling casually into a stop, he parked and let out a deep breath, shoulders sinking.

A stray bird calling out turned his attention in the direction of your house. The porch light was on. That’s new, he thought. Squinting his eyes, he saw a bundle on the porch swing. Was that you? Quietly walking over while taking his leather gloves off, he confirmed his suspicions. There you were, lying on your side propped up by a large fuzzy pillow. Eyes closed and breathing rhythmically. Scanning the scene, he noticed the mug on the side table, empty except for the used teabag. Your book was closed, the page you were on marked by one of your fingers. You must’ve fallen asleep while reading.

“Hey…” Bucky said gently. No response besides a small nose scrunch.

He repeated himself a little louder, squatting to be at eye level while gently setting his hand on your arm and shaking you lightly. You groaned this time, eyes fluttering open, taking a moment to focus. You squinted and pushed yourself up into a sitting position, losing your place in the book and attempting to blink the heavy drowsiness from your eyes.

“Bucky?” You questioned hoarsely as you met his eyes. He was still crouching so you were looking slightly down at him. Brow furrowed, you searched the blue of his eyes before looking around to see how dark it had gotten. As you turned your head back to him, he stood back up, scratching the back of his neck just to occupy his hands.

“It’s starting to get cold. I didn’t want you to spend the rest of the night out here.” He explained, choosing to look out at the water, now dark. When he turned his head back, you had also turned your head to look at the water, exposing the side of your neck, the tendons and clavicle accentuated by the strain. Bucky swallowed and your eyes met his, oblivious.

“Ah, thank you. I must’ve fallen asleep reading. I just started going back to physical therapy so I’ve just been so wiped… Anyway,” you said, dismissing yourself mid-thought. He didn’t want to hear about all that. “…did you just come back from a mission?” You eyed the diagonal cuts of leather on his jacket, noting the missing sleeve that exposed the glint of the metal.

“Yeah. I was gone for a few days.”

“Okay. I’m glad you’re home safe.” You mindlessly said, picking up the book and other various items strewn about.

Home safe. What an unfamiliar phrase.

As the words echoed in his mind, you had opened the door and stepped in, turning your head slightly to look back at him.

“Thanks again… Good night.”

“Good night.” Bucky replied, watching as you shut the door softly behind you.

Slowly walking down the porch steps, he crossed the driveway to the garage. Turning his head just in time to see the last light turn off in your house, he stood with his hand on the knob, meditating on the effect that one short sentence had on him.

Glad you’re home safe. Was this what it was like when you had someone waiting on you at home? The tired eyes and gentle smile. Would that be what it was like when he came home in the middle of a night from a mission when he had someone to share a bed with? Gently shaking them to let them know he was home? Or would he try to sneak into bed without waking them? He tried to imagine what that sort of intimacy would be like as he entered his apartment and then his room. Unzipping his jacket and tossing it over a chair, he stripped down to his boxer briefs and climbed into bed, wondering what it would be like if it was already warm.

[witcherarcanathings]

When You’re Gone - An Asra Lucio x Female Reader Angst part 3

Part One (Lemon), Part Two, Part Four, Part Five

(Okay so, the reason I took so long writing this is because I was projecting myself onto MC, and writing a story that was too similar to something I recently went through. I was having trouble completing the story line, because my own story was unresolved. So here you go.)

Second submission for The Terrifying Ten challenge posted by @vesuviannights​ 

Smut (under the cut), Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Asra could almost feel you slipping away from him as the days went by. But he couldn’t help it, he had to go. He thought you understood that.

It hurt him that he had to ask others about you just to find out how you were. You’d gotten upset with him before, but this was different.

Since that day at the fountain, he had sent several letters, and all of them had gone unanswered.

As a gentle wind blew across his soft white curls, he sat cross legged on the grassy mountain path several hundred leagues from Vesuvia and silenced himself sending his consciousness out to search for you. 

It took several moments before he saw you, your back turned to him as you gazed into the palace’s reflection pool. Although Asra longed to see your face, he daren’t get too close. He knew if you sensed him, you’d push him away again, and he couldn’t bear another rejection. Silently he watched you burning bits of paper and then scattering the ashes into the water. It only took him  a moment to realize what they were: his letters. Angry and upset he broke the connection, resolved to hurry home and make things right.

You spent your time at the palace burying yourself in work, attempting  to put Asra in the back of your mind. You thought the busier you are, the less time you have for your thoughts to drift to the smell of fresh brewed tea, flowers blooming in the sunlight, violet eyes and a warm smile welcoming you home after a long day.

“Shit,” you curse. You were doing it again. It was so easy to remember the parts of Asra you loved, and even easier to forget the parts of him that caused you so much grief.

With a bundle of his recent letters in your hand, you lay lazily along the reflection pool, burning each one as you read them. When the first one came, you were happy your heart thrumming with the possibility of his return only to be disappointed when you realized it wasn’t. 

More letters came, but you were still too angry to answer. Too hurt. 

Every so often couriers would arrive with messages from Asra. When you hadn’t responded, his letters increased.

“Love, I’m sorry. Please don’t be upset with me. I’ll be back soon.”

“ I hope your doing well. Faust says you’ve been working hard at the palace. Please take care of yourself.”

" The sunsets here are really beautiful here. They make me think of you.”

“Please answer my letters, dearest. I miss you.”

And the final,

“Please.”

The worst part of it was the guilt you felt at not answering. But you just couldn’t now. Deep down you believed you never would. 

Sitting in the garden, you burned his latest plea in the palm of your hand, scattering the ashes to the wind as you sat staring at one of the lilies in the reflecting pool, studying the dragonfly resting on the soft pink petals. The white marble felt cool against your skin as you sat with legs folded along the edge.

Lost in thought, you didn’t notice the sound of footsteps behind you, or the glint of a golden arm reflecting in the gentle waters.

“Still brooding over your master?” Lucio broke in as he leaned casually against a nearby column.

 You scatter the last bit of ashes out of your palm before turning to face him. “Is there something I can assist you with, Count?” you ask, your tone conveying that you’d wish to be left alone.

A charming grin graced Lucio’s face, his twinkling eyes meeting yours. “Help me? No my dear, sweet magician, I was thinking maybe I could help you.” he answered.

“I’d be interested in knowing how,” you retort,  a laugh catching in your throat. “The only way I’ve seen you solve problems is by throwing money at it.” It was a joke, but it did have some truth in it. Lucio had changed much since he’d made and broke his deal with the devil, but there were still parts of him that would always remain the same.

“Well in a way, that’s what I am doing,” he continued as he stepped closer to you. ”Starting with paying the five coin citation for throwing litter in my pool.” he teased, offering you his right arm to help you up. “And lastly, by giving you this.” He uncoils an invitation placing it before you. “There’ll be a party tonight. I’ll take your attendance as repayment for the fine.” he said smiling.

You’re up on your feet in an instant as he gives you a moment to smooth out your clothes.

“I think I’ll pay the 5 gold.” you quip.

Lucio’s throaty and genuine laughs fill your ears as his hand closed the invitation into your palm. “You’re always so funny, my dear,” He sighed, “Be there at 8 o’clock. Don’t be late.” there was a bit of urgency in that he quickly covered with a confident smile as he squeezed your arm.

“I won’t be.” You say, your tone a bit more serious than you meant it to be.

 “Don’t be so grim! It’s a party not, a death sentence.” Lucio coaxed.

“One never knows when it comes to your parties, Lucio.” you shrug as you glance at the ornate invitation.

“Oh you’ve got nothing to worry about, I swear you’ll have the time of your life! You might even meet someone new.” He winked before turning to leave you standing in the garden with the invitation in your hand. “See you at 8.”

Looking at the invitation, you noticed something curious. 

“Lucio,” you shake the invitation in the air. “This says seven!”

The count turns, his smile as wistful and mysterious as the answer he gives you. “I know.”

Confused, you watch his proud and confident gait as he walks away.

Lucio had been hunting you the moment he heard you and Asra were done with.

Well, that's not exactly how Portia had put it: during their weekly card game she had let slip that you two were going through some ‘issues’. Whatever that meant.  For Lucio he decided it meant that Asra was gone and now Lucio finally a shot with you.

Tonight's party was all a part of his elaborate plan to woo you. He had made sure the food, the music, everything would be to your liking.

As he dressed for the evening, he thought about exactly what he would say, what he would do to make sure you were his tonight. Sitting in front of his vanity with his legs crossed, he made sure his eyeliner was as sharp and dramatic, with just a bit of a silver dusting that you remarked at his last party really brought out the silver in his eyes. He’d worn it many times since then, hoping to catch your eye, but so far he’d hadn’t received further comment.

 He wanted his makeup to be perfect, for it to draw you into his eyes and never look away. Applying the finishing touches, he looked himself over appraisingly. There was no way you wouldn’t want a piece of him.

When you get to your room, there's several boxes on the bed, wrapped in gold foil and tied with red ribbons. You read the tag on the largest package, already knowing who it’s from. "Compliments of his highness count Lucio" 

Sighing you opened the box. Not only did you have to go to a party, you had to wear some faddy costume that was-

Your last thought was stolen away from you as push away the white tissue paper to reveal the most beautiful gown you've ever seen: midnight blue, with twinkling moons and stars. Lucio knew your tastes well. Smiling, you walked over to the mirror and pressed the dress against you, swaying as you imagine how you’d look tonight. Ah, it was stunning - just looking at it made you feel beautiful as the first flutterings of happiness radiate within you.

At seven o’clock you’re surrounded by glittering lights and elegant guests dressed up in their finest. Heads turned as you entered the ballroom. You’d gotten used to it by now, your appointment as royal magician gave you some status. It wasn’t unusual for you to garner attention. But you knew it was more than your court appointment that had them staring. No, it was the fact that as you crossed the ballroom floor you looked like the queen of heaven.

 It wasn’t long before you were asked to dance by a visiting dignitary, and as you dance you tried to forget the longing in your heart. As the music played your mind wandered, and your body moved with practiced steps and gentle nods as your partner blathered on about some important business deal before he asked ‘wouldn’t you like to come sailing on my yacht this weekend?” You shook your head no, bowing low to excuse yourself. You needed a drink. 

Leaning against the wall, you relaxed as you drank and watched the other guests. Normally, you wouldn’t mind one of Lucio’s parties. They were always wonderful, and to be honest you needed a break. But tonight, all the glitz and glam seemed to fall flat. Being a wallflower was more familiar to you, and you were glad hardly anyone noticed you. Everyone except the count. Although he hadn’t said a word to you the entire evening, he’d been watching. You looked exactly as he envisioned as you entered the ballroom. He watched as you initially looked around and got your bearings. When he saw you noticing the flowers, he smiled exactly when you did in the exact same way. He watched you ferret out an empty table to sit at before you were asked to dance. And then laughed when you rebuffed their advances. “Nice try pal, but she’s taken. I’ve got her all figured out.” He muttered to himself.  After your fourth dance partner, he watched as you quietly excused yourself and grabbed a drink. Now was his chance. “See to everything, will you Valerius? I’m going to check on our guest of honor.” he said with a tap to the Consul’s shoulder. 

Although you’ve stopped dancing, you find your heart racing the closer it gets to 8 o’clock.Your eyes occasionally look up at the large golden clock on the far side of the ballroom, and although it’s silly you can’t help but wonder why Lucio said he would see you at eight. He was there when you arrived, but something about the smile he gave you told you he was up to something.

Anticipation builds, and your heart continues to race until the clock strikes eight and you feel yourself releasing the breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. 

But you soon learn that you relaxed too soon, as a cool metal arm slips into yours and you find yourself side by side with Lucio.

“Enjoying the party?” Lucio purrs. 

“Yes its-” 

“You don’t have to lie.” Lucio interrupts. “It’s Asra isn’t it? Pity even all this isn’t enough to distract you from your heartache.” He says waving an arm to the extravagant celebration going on around you.

You sighed in defeat, hoping that it wasn’t that obvious. “I’m sorry, Lucio. Everything’s wonderful and I’m glad I came it’s just-”

Lucio brought a finger to your lips to silence you.

“You don’t have to be sorry.” His low, wistful voice interrupted. “Don’t worry I have something else that might help.” He nods his head forward, and after giving him a skeptical look you let him lead you through the ballroom, curious as to what he had in mind.

With a straight backed, regal stride he guides you somewhat further away from the crowd to one of the ornate tapestries hanging along the ballroom walls. He takes a quick look around before peeling back the tapestry and motioning at you. “Come on, hurry up before anyone sees.” he urges, his golden arm gently ushering you in.

It’s dark but as your eyes adjust you can see you’re in an alcove behind the tapestry.

“So this is what you wanted to show me?” you scoff. “There’s nothing here but a blank wall.”

With an impish grin, Lucio leaned in to whisper in your ear. “No, pet. This is what I wanted to show you.”

Without warning his lips crash onto yours, teeth gnashing on teeth, a bit bloody as he bites your lip. His kiss leaves you gasping and breathless as he pulls you in, his tongue slipping into you mouth as your lips part.

“I’m going to fuck you so hard you’ll never think about that magician again,” Lucio growls.

And that’s what you want isn’t it? To finally forget? No more tea leaves, and the smell of rain or moonlit nights sprawled out on the rooftop.

Now it’s fire and soft fur, the sweet musky smell of roses in the summer sun, and the promise of living deliciously as your hands explore the smooth, superior muscles of his chest. Your fingers tangle in the golden curls as along his pectorals, as your own dress is pushed down to your waist, the shoulder of your dress now snug against your elbows as Lucio cups your breasts, rolling them beneath his coarse, practiced fingers as you keen into his every touch.

"Lucio...Lucio," you whisper as he ravishes your body, his feverish kisses covering your neck and chest, before his canines ghost around your areola, making you shiver. 

"You like that, doll?" He groans as his tongue circles your nipples.

"Y-Yes" your voice shakes while his deft tongue strokes over you again. The fingers of his flesh hand find his way to the folds of your sex, teasing you and touching everywhere except your aching clit.

Impatient, you push his hand to where you want him, but he holds firm, nipping your neck in warning. 

"Not yet, kitten. Daddy wants to play first." 

Teasing your entrance with his fingers Lucio chuckles at hearing needy whines leaving your lips. He slips one, and then two fingers in, growling low at the wetness slicking your thighs and the noises you make for him. Bracing his shoulders, you arch up into his touch,his fingers pumping into you as he devilishly ignores your aching clit. 

“Lucio, please…” You let out a deep frustrated moan,as you rock into his hand. 

“Shh…” Lucio whispers, “Try to stay quiet. At least until we’re alone.”

 He'd pictured making you come undone so many times, and he wanted to savor every moment as he studied your soft features. With your back pressed against the alcove and nothing but a tapestry keeping you from being seen you nod silently, biting your lip as Lucio curls his fingers into you and his thumb flicks across your clit.

“Touch me,” Lucio groans as he grinds against you, pushing you further against the wall. You can feel how hard he is as you palm him through his clothes, making him hiss. 

“Again Lucio," You breathe as you undo his pants, his proud cock presenting itself into your hands, “Tell me again.”

He begs you to touch him, before you start stroking his cock in time with the movements of his fingers inside you and watch him unravel under your touch. This way of making love was different from Asra’s - it was so fervent and needy. Lucio's whimpering, hips thrusting into your touch as you stroke him. “Good...it’s too good,” he growls, his lips never leaving yours. It doesn’t take long for his stuttering thrusts turn into raw unsteady breaths, and those breaths into muffled, masculine groans.

The noise of the party is just outside the rich purple and gold tapestry that created a secret world of passion under its shadow occupied by only you and your Count, his low, distinct voice a heady whisper in you ear.  

 "Please... please let me fuck you my beautiful Magician."

You open your legs in silent approval and with one quick movement he's inside of you. Humping away like a desperate animal. 

"Thank you thank you thank you," he whimpers as he fucks into you murmuring praises and sweet promises."so good, so beautiful."

"Lucio...please. more." You sigh arching up into him.

"Yes, pet. Anything you want. Always what you want" he groans as he fucks harder,

Moving his arms around your body, he brings you close to his chest. His hips slam into you, causing you to bite into his shoulder to muffle your cry at the feeling of his wide head hitting your g-spot. 

“I want you so much, you’re all I fucking think about.” 

He comes, silent and intense as your own orgasm finds you. 

Hurriedly Lucio pulls out of you, quickly helping you dress before arranging his own clothing.

"Follow me, quickly." He growls, his arm locking around your waist as he leads you both from under the tapestry and into the crowd of the ball room. You can only hope you've put your clothing back where it should be. You squeeze your inner muscles tightly when you feel his seed starting to slip out of you, and you blush at the lewdness of it.

Thankfully the bustle around the palace has died down and the corridors are silent as you both made your way to Lucio’s wing. His room was dark and cold when you entered it, and he cursed the servants for their superstitious nature. Although several years have passed since his return, the staff still feared entering his wing.

"Hold on Lucio, I've got it." With a flick of your wrist a roaring fire appears in the fireplace, and you smile in satisfaction.

A blur of white rushes you and in moments you're in Lucio’s bed, naked and breathless as he trails kisses over every inch of your skin. Making you writhe and moan on his fingers once more.

Smirking he removes his fingers, licking them clean while you whine disappointment. You are not empty for long. His cock is nudging at your entrance and you push back onto him, feeling the tip slip in.

“I’m the one giving you all you need. I want you to be mine.” he growls, “Forget Asra, Forget everything else except me.”

He slides into you, pressing a low purr out of you as he bottoms out. His eyes are focused on his length buried inside of you, as Lucio enjoys the mewl leaving your lips.

“Please…”

Gripping your waist Lucio starts moving. He’s sliding slowly in and out of you, letting you savor the feeling of his cock stretching your walls.  Nothing is rushed, but no time is wasted in his lovemaking. 

Hands fisting the sheets, mouth hanging open you cry out in pleasure when he starts dragging you onto his cock with every powerful thrust.  His golden claw digs into your hips, cutting into the skin as he claims you. It’s a slow and desperate burn as the two of you collide.

Lucio watches your reaction when he starts moving faster, going harder to make sure you will fall over the edge once more. He loves the way you lose control when you come, totally falling apart for him.

A lovely and breathless silence fills his chambers as the two of you lay in post coital bliss.

It lays unbroken until you feel him leaving the bed, and your heart sinks. Of course you’re just a one night stand. It was foolish to think any different.

“Please don’t...don’t leave.” Your hand reaches out for him, your eyes clouded with building tears.

You hear a quiet sigh as his fingers slip into yours. “I’m not going anywhere pet,” he soothes. “I’ll stay forever if that’s what you want. I just need to take this off before bed. I’ll tear up the sheets in my sleep if I don’t.”

With one practiced motion he removes his alchemical arm, placing it on the nightstand before returning to your side. With his right arm, he pulls you against his chest before you slide the covers over both of you.

Sleep finds you soft and warm as Lucio holds you. The last thing you see before you close your eyes is his gentle dreamy smile.

The morning afterwards, it feels strange waking up next to someone after spending nearly a month alone.

Even when he isn’t traveling, Asra's usually gone when you wake up--either downstairs working in the shop, trading in the marketplace, visiting the palace or just plain gone. The last time you remember waking up next to someone was your birthday. Asra stayed that day.

But Lucio didn't need a special reason to stay. You were it. "I'll stay forever if you want me to." You remember him saying. The words pulled at your soul, and it felt good even if it wasn't from the person you wanted it from. 

Your newfound desire for the count was a strange feeling that worried you. Suddenly you were panicking, and you began questioning yourself. ‘Oh gods,’ you whisper, careful not to wake the man sleeping next to you. 

 Silently, you slipped out of his bed, white silk sheets slipping away from you as your feet hit the marble floor. Dressing quickly, you stuck your head out the door to peek down the hallway. 

Thankful the coast was clear, and with one final look behind you, you leave-your steps brisk and light as you made your way down the hallway and back to your room, chest pounding as you wondered if last night was a good decision, searching for meaning in every act, every word that was said.

Thank you for reading, and as always your comments are always appreciated! 

P.S. Sorry I didn’t tag anyone who asked. Frankly I have no organizational skills, and my memory is terrible. Please forgive me.

[cautious-creation]

Meeting Pietro

Fandom & Characters: Marvel (MCU); Quicksilver/Pietro Maximoff (Aaron Taylor Johnson), Captain America/Steve Rogers (Chris Evans), 3rd person female y/n. Mentioned: Iron Man/Tony Stark (RDJ)

Pairing(s): Quicksilver/Pietro Maximoff (Aaron Taylor Johnson) x 3rd person female y/n

Word/page count: about 100 words

CW/TW: brief mention of Cap and his PTSD, Steve and a punching bag

Summary: Pietro, the handsome cheeky flirt, meets y/n.

Author’s note: I wrote this a few years ago as part of escapism from high school woes. I didn’t do much editing before posting, just grammar and spelling and added an actual conclusion which I hadn’t done when I first wrote it.

"I have those files you...oh!." She looked left and right trying to spot the cause for the sudden burst of wind. The air conditioning had been faulty but not to the extent where it randomly shuts on and off creating split seconds of gale force gusts.

She shrugged it off and continued further into the gym where the Captain was practically destroying a red punching bag. 'Red in front of that angry bull's beefy biceps' she thought to herself, then shook her head at having thought it.

"I've...", punch, "got...", punch, "the...", punch "files..." She spoke between her superior's fists hitting that poor, innocent punching bag.

He paused, holding the bag still and panting. She'd spent enough time with him to know that he'd been having one of his flashbacks, PTSD is not a particularly easy thing to live with, never mind also being expected to do superhero work. This was his way of managing it.

He closed his eyes forcefully, probably trying to escape from his traumatic memories, "What was that?" He started unwrapping the protective strapping from his hands approaching his ‘Tony appointed’ assistant.

"You asked for some documents on basic DNA altering experimentation, like the stuff Hydra’s done. I managed to find some in the 'bad guys' science stuff' folder." She handed him the freshly printed and stapled wad of papers. Steve rolled his eyes at Tony's folder naming system.They started walking towards the exit of the gym.

"If you don't mind me asking, what do you want them for?" Another gust of wind almost knocked her off her feet after she'd said that.

"What the hell is that?" She grumbled. Steve didn't seem at all fazed.

"For him." He pointed absentmindedly behind him, where something she hadn't noticed before was speeding around the gym almost too fast to see the trails of blue and silver behind it. She became mesmerised by the speeding object, so much so that she didn't notice that it was hurtling straight towards her at an alarming rate.

And before she knew it she was in the strong arms of the beautiful silver haired stranger, tilting backwards with her hands on his toned biceps. "Umm...hi?" She said in a timid voice. He smiled. "Hi." He set her straight.

Steve glanced at the two, both a little irked and endeared by Pietro’s choice of introduction to the assistant.

"That's Pietro Maximoff. One of HYDRA's successful DNA altering experimentation subjects. Code name: Quicksilver." Steve elaborated while skimming through the information in front of him.

"Makes sense." 

Steve interpreted her statement in reference to the answer to the question she'd asked him a moment before, Pietro took it in reference to his code name.

He set her back on her feet, smirking. She smoothed out her clothes, cleared her throat, held out her hand for him to shake while hoping to the heavens above that her cheeks weren't as red as her lipstick like they'd usually be after any sort of compliment. He took her hand and gave it a gentle kiss, never breaking eye contact as he did so.

'If I wasn't blushing before I'm definitely am now.' She thought.

"Y/n." She practically squeaked her name, Steve gave them a questioning glance as she did so.

"Pietro." He replied chuckling.

A few silent moments passed, the newly acquainted Avengers team associates simply gazing at one another; both mentally questioning the other's relationship status and wondering why or how they hadn't met already.

Steve ended the emotional staring contest when he gently set his hand on her shoulder. She looked at him, awaiting instructions. His gaze slowly lifted off the document in his hand once he'd finished reading the second page.

"I'll carry on reading this when I have a chance. Can you leave this on my desk next to the team's files? Oh, and please remind Stark that we've got an armorless training session booked and if he is so much as a minute late I will be making use of fitness training before we start." Steve handed her the documents an appreciative smile on his face. She smiled back. As she set off for the stairs up to the main level of the training room, Pietro, once again, caught her attention as he fell in step with her.

"Aren't you still busy down here?" She asked. He shrugged.

"The Captain is to busy daydreaming about the good old days, he won’t notice. Besides, I'm sure he won't mind me doing the gentlemanly thing and walking with the beautiful lady into an area of danger." She particularly took note of the way he looked at her as he said 'beautiful'; and the unnecessarily attractive lilt of his accent.

"Area of danger? I'll assume you're referring to a certain Mr Stark's twenty meter vicinity. Or just his lab, even when he's not in it." She responded. He smiled further at this.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y.?"

"Yes Miss." The AI replied.

"Tell Mr Stark that his superior officer is already in a bad mood and threatening to make him do fitness if he's late for hand to hand combat training...again." She instructed. There were a few seconds of silence before the tower's speakers activated again.

"He asks when his session is." Y/n chuckled.

"Let him know that if neither him nor his computer system and assistant know when he's supposed to be down there then it's almost certain he's either late or missed it completely." She smiled rolling her eyes at a certain billionaire genius' poor time management.

"So you work for Stark?" Pietro asked, confused as to why the tech genius would need a human assistant when he had his electronic babysitter.

"Sort of. Tony Stark hired me to help the Captain with admin and such. We started to work, communicate and get along quite well so I've been doing other odd jobs for him as well. I'm sort of a...second assistant to the Avengers; I could never be first though, F.R.I.D.A.Y. is too organised and efficient and I'm, well, human." she explained.

"Glad I can be of service Miss y/l/n." The automated voice commented.

"And it's an honour to work with you F.R.I.D.A.Y." she replied.

Pietro leaned towards her as they walked, now approaching Rogers’ office, “Don’t tell the computer,” he whispers a few inches from her ear with clear humour in his tone, “but I think I would prefer to work with you.”

She hadn’t expected the giggle that came out of her mouth, it was in response to feeling his breath against her cheek as he showed his interest in her. She wasn’t particularly adept at flirting, or taking compliments, but it seemed he was willing to flirt enough for both of them.

Neither could deny that they looked forward to spending time with the intriguing person they’d just met.

[wolfie-posts]

Can you do a pro hero!bakugou x fem reader where she’s his secretary and always leaves him little notes on his desk that cheer him up, but one day he doesn’t get one and that’s because the reader is sick at home? You can end it however you like just make it fluffy please! Thank you so much!!!

Pro Hero!Bakugou x Secretary!Reader

Author: @wolfie-posts

Warnings: none really just a lot of fluff

Chapter length: 4,031 words

A/N: This is my very first request that I received and I am literally so in love with the scenario. I got so hyped for this request that I just couldn’t stop to write. The result is a 4k word scenario. I really hope it meets your expectations, I had a lot of fun writing this. Also, a huge thanks to my beta readers who are literally the best, love you guys! That was everything I wanted to say. Please, enjoy reading my lovelies! 

Life as a pro-hero is hard, nobody talks about the bad things that this job brings along. When you watch the news you always see the pro-heroes in their amazing suits jumping straight towards the danger, putting their lives on the line for the well being of the citizens without even thinking twice about it. Their jobs are admirable but dangerous, always saving the day with a big smile, a proud grin or a simply smirk on their face and if that isn’t enough, they even give interviews right after they captured the villains. It doesn’t matter how beat up they are afterward, they still make time for their small fans.

Nobody really talks about the stuff that happens behind closed doors but that is exactly what you were getting paid for. Your job is one of the most important ones in this whole pro-hero domain because you are the secretary of one of the greatest heroes at the moment. You were Ground Zero’s own personal “hero” with the superpower to organize his whole life and career.

Answering calls, taking messages, arranging appointments were all part of your job and let’s be honest, Ground Zero wasn’t the easiest boss to have. Your work phone was never really silent, reporters and tv companies were calling every day to get a special statement from one of the best heroes or inviting him to talk-shows or other tv specials. At some point, the management of the tv-show “The Bachelor” even called to ask if Ground Zero would be interested in finding the love of his life while being filmed 24/7, that was actually one of the most fun phone conversations you ever had.

Normally you had to punch yourself through a lot of annoying, ignorant and dense representatives from companies, crazy admirers, reporters, and interviewers, so when you took the call from “The Bachelor” production you really had to force yourself to stay serious. You had to admit, Bakugou, as the bachelor would be some quality content to laugh about, just imagining him in a suit surrounded by a horde of horny women, made you break your professionalism and snort.

Apart from those tasks you also filled reports, organized Ground Zero’s meetings, manage the database, liaised with important clients, coordinated the public life of your boss and if that wasn’t enough, you also looked out for Ground Zero’s health by treating some of his wounds, forcing him to go to your companies personal “Recovery Girl”, bringing him food, because let’s be honest otherwise he probably would have already starved to death. You also bring him coffee every morning and the most important thing you cheered him up.

Cheering your boss up was one of your favorite things to do on the job and one of the easiest things too because all it took was a simple post-it note on his desk.

You didn’t really talk much with your boss, because he literally is always busy. If he isn’t in the training room, he was saving the city, which made your work a lot harder. Most of the time you were updating him on the way from one place to another. For example, you always reviewed the appointments for the day right after Ground Zero’s morning workout when he was heading from the training room to the changing room.

Being a hero was an all-day and all-night job, so he didn’t really spend much time in his office. When you first started to work for your boss you were convinced that he even slept in his hero costume.

The result of all those briefings was an increase in your stamina, which you didn’t complain about except for, in those briefings, you didn’t really talk much, which is kinda unusual for your job. That was until the day you decided to write him his first post-it note.

Back in high school, you started to make post-it notes to remind yourself about important stuff because you tended to forget things if you didn’t write them down. Now it kinda became your way of communicating with your boss.

It all started really simple, one day you just put an apple on his desk with the note “an apple a day keeps Recovery Girl away”.

Flashback

You were a nervous wreck, why did you even decide to write that note? Why did you want to cheer him up that badly? ‘Maybe because you wanted to see him smile for a change?’ your inner voice told you, which made you shake your head violently in response. You had been debating with yourself for the last 2 hours. “I shouldn’t have done this,” you mumbled, thinking about taking the apple away again before he has a chance to see it.

'It’s just an apple, calm down (y/n)! It’s not like you are proposing or anything.’ you tried to calm yourself down without any luck. You had been a nervous wreck since you placed that apple on Ground Zero’s desk, always glancing towards the elevator to see if he was coming to his office, shuffling around in your chair and bopping your knee to the annoyance of some of your coworkers.

It finally stopped, the moment the elevator doors opened and revealed your boss with a few new bruises and scratches, but the moment you saw your boss step out of the elevator a wave of terrible overthinking and fear washed over you.

'What if he gets mad?’ you thought, rubbing your sweaty hands over your pants. All you wanted was to see Ground Zero smile for a change, so him getting pissed at your silly note would be the exact opposite of the goal, but there was no going back now.

As Ground Zero walked past your desk, you nearly dropped your pen in fear of what was going to happen in the next 2 to 3 minutes. Will you lose or job? Will you get an apple thrown into your face? Or just a sarcastic comment which will ruin your whole career? While overthinking the situation into oblivion you didn’t even notice that your boss had been talking to you.

“(y/n)!” he said with a rough voice, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Yes!” you said a little bit panicked while sitting up even straighter. You could see a frown form on your boss’s forehead as he raised an eyebrow at your unusual behavior. You gulped hard as you withstood his stare, feeling like his crimson eyes could see straight into your soul and read what was on your mind.

“Did anything important pop up?” he asked in a way calmer voice after seeing your reaction to his previous approach. Bakugou knew that everyone had a lot of respect for him and everyone was acting kinda scared whenever he was in a bad mood or right after he had captured a villain. Everybody but you. You just looked at him as if he was just another person and you didn’t really flinch or look away when things were getting a little ugly. You saw him as your boss and you saw him as an authority but not as some kind of god you needed to fear and worship.

That made your behavior now just seem even weirder to him. It was so out of place but he hadn’t done anything to scare you or make you nervous, he hasn’t even seen you all day.

’Maybe something had happened between you and another employee or something involving your private life.’ Bakugou thought to himself, trying to shove that uncomfortable feeling in his guts away. 'I’m probably just reading too much into it’ but why did he even care? You were just another employee, right?

“Nope, nothing new has come up!” you said after looking over your laptop and calendar. It seemed like some of the tension you were feeling was lifted from you, after Bakugou had asked you something about work. It was like turning a switch inside of your brain, immediately you just powered up your professionalism again and dug back into work. You had even given Bakugou your typical smile after confirming that he could actually take a break right now.

You watched your boss sigh in relief as he turned to walk into his office and just for a moment you had forgotten about your note. That was until your boss’s hand reached for the door handle and your nervousness got the better of you again making you shot up from your desk.

“Ground Zero!” you yelled, which not only surprised your boss but also yourself. You could feel your ears and cheeks begin to heat up as your boss paused in his step and turned back to look at you.

“Yes?” he simply asked with a raised eyebrow.

How could you get yourself out of this situation? Should you play the “I am not feeling good” card and just leave to die in shame at home? How could you even stop your boss from seeing that note? You ran over all the different excuses but none of them would work without having to pay the consequences afterward. So what now? You had already gained the attention of your boss, which means that you had to say something without sounding like an idiot.

“Good job today” you blurted. It was the first thing that came into your mind that didn’t sound totally stupid, what you didn’t consider was the blush spreading across your face as you realized what you had just said.

You have never really complimented your boss for winning a fight against a villain, it was a normal daily routine for him and he already gets all the praise from his fans, so why should you compliment him too? He knew that he was good at his job and it wasn’t like those villains were a challenge for him, so why should you pour some more gasoline into the fire and push his ego even more?

The moment you had said those words, you wished you could have taken them back. It was so embarrassing, your face was probably already tomato red and the fact that your boss had the widest grin ever on his face didn’t really help, but for Bakugou that wasn’t even enough torture. Without a word he just turned back around and entered into his office, knowing damn well that this action was like pouring salt into an open wound.

“What have I done?” you mumbled to yourself while dropping your head into your hands. The embarrassment was getting so overwhelming that you had to get up and walk it off for a bit. You escaped into the office kitchen to get some water, which gave you a little relief but it didn’t change the fact that you wanted to disappear forever.

After cooling down for a bit you finally returned to your desk, forcing yourself to just focus on work and to forget about what happened. At least that was what you wanted to do. Before you could even dig into your paperwork, your boss came out of his office again with an apple in his hand. You stared in horror as he took a huge bite from it, a pleasant smile spreading over his face.

“I am heading out again. Call me if something important comes up,” he said casually, not breaking the eye-contact, but all you could do was pick up your jaw that had dramatically dropped to the floor and nod in silence.

After getting your confirmation Bakugou gave you another mischievous smile and headed for the elevator. There was no way in hell you wouldn’t get bullied over this situation from your coworkers.

“Oh and (y/n)? Thanks for the apple,” your boss said in a loud and amused tone, making you snap your head towards him, only to see his big grin right before the elevator doors closed, not even giving you the time to react at all.

Who would have thought that one apple with a note could change your whole work atmosphere just like that?

Flashback end

From that day on, Ground Zero received your post-it notes every single day, some of them were informative others were silly with the goal to make him smile.

After the first few sticky notes, it didn’t take long for the two of you to call each other by your normal name, which wasn’t any different for Bakugou because he had always called you by your first name. On the other side, you were the only employee to ever call Ground Zero by his non-hero name, which caused quite the tumult in your company and making you the topic of the daily gossip for at least two weeks.

The notes became part of a routine that Bakugou looked forward to every single day, it didn’t matter how bad his mood was, a single note from you could make him forget about all the shit that happened during the day.

He normally wouldn’t even smile at work, his employees needed to see him focused and serious, so they wouldn’t have an excuse to slack on their job but whenever he read your notes, he just couldn’t control his facial features. It even went so far to the point that he actually laughed out loud in his office. It was that one time when he had read the note you wrote right after your phone conversation with “The Bachelor” production company.

“I can’t take it anymore! You need to get a life and I need a vacation! So I decided to sign you up for the reality dating show ‘The Bachelor’ ;) have fun” was written on the note, he knew you would have never done anything that stupid but still, you got him good with that one.

He didn’t even have a sarcastic response to that note, because he damn well knew that his life only consisted of the job as a pro-hero, but he loved his job and even though it wasn’t always easy, he wouldn’t have it any other way, because deep down he knew that he had you to pick him up.

——

Today had been an awful day for Bakugou, a huge villain attack had occupied his whole morning, not even giving him the time for his morning coffee and to his misery, one of the villains had also copy quirk. That clearly was already enough to piss him off but it didn’t stop there, the other villains had pretty strong quirks too, which made the fight a lot more annoying.

After a chase throughout the whole city, some building damage and some pretty terrible ass-kicking, Bakugou and some of the others had finally managed to capture every member of the group of villains.

This fight took everything out of Bakugou, he was exhausted. His whole week had been filled with sleepless nights due to villain attacks and Bakugou’s lack of sleep wasn’t just showing in his facial features, no! It was also showing in his fighting, his impressive reflexes were kinda normal and he could feel that his strength wasn’t at 100 percent.

All he wanted to do was go home and get a good night’s rest, but that isn’t how this job works. The villains hadn’t even been loaded into the prison transport when the first reporters decided to hold cameras and microphones into Bakugou’s face.

“Ground Zero, how do you feel about the organized crime and the group behind it?”

“How come we never see you out with a woman or your pro-hero friends from U.A.?”

“Is your power getting weaker or are the villains getting stronger and smarter?”

“How do you feel after reading this month’s pro hero rankings?”

All those questions turned into an annoying buzzing sound in Bakugou’s ears. His blood was boiling, how could they ask him that kind of crap? 'Getting weaker? Pff the villains could only dream about that!’ he thought to himself.

Normally he would go to the crowd of bystanders and take some pictures with his fans but right now he just needed to get out of there before he exploded. You had always scolded him for being incapable of socializing and after getting scolded every single time he refused an interview or making a kid cry, you finally convinced him to follow your publicity plan.

'Nope, not today!’ he thought, walking away from the crowd.

"No comment” was all Bakugou said.

He just couldn’t handle it today, not in this condition, so he simply catapulted himself into the air and blasted away through the air.

'She is gonna be so pissed’, a small voice in his head told him after arriving at his company. Bakugou knew exactly how you would react, you would scold him for a few minutes while tending to his wounds, followed by giving him his coffee, some lunch with a second scolding as dessert for not taking better care of himself and telling him that he can’t just live on coffee.

Bakugou had already mentally prepared himself for your scolding, but when the elevator doors finally opened, he wasn’t greeted with your pissed off face at your desk. It was a rather unusual sight, which made him wonder about your whereabouts, but he simply pushed the thought away with a 'maybe she’s busy’.

Fully expecting to find a sarcastic note on his desk he walked into his office, only to find a clean and empty desk waiting for him.

“What the fuck?” he mumbled as he searched his office for your daily post-it note without any luck. Was he blind or did you forget to make a note? No, you would never forget to make him a sticky note, that wasn’t like you at all and you didn’t have a day off so where was his note?

His mood was dropping even further after his unsuccessful search for your note, he really needed that little post-it note to cheer him up after a morning like that.

He didn’t even care how shocked his other employees were when he showed up to their workspace, which was on a different floor.

“Has anyone seen (y/n) (l/n)?” he asked with a stern voice causing the whole room to go deadly silent.

“S-She called in sick today,” a small woman said in the back of the room. All eyes had been on Bakugou, which meant that everybody had seen his utter surprise when that woman told him you were sick. You were never sick, in those two years you had worked for him you had never called in sick. Bakugou was convinced that you couldn’t even get sick, he always thought you had a quirk which made you super healthy or something but he apparently was proven wrong about that.

“I am taking the rest of the day off. Don’t call me, even if the whole city goes up in flames, we have enough other heroes who can take over. Call Deku or someone else but don’t you dare try to reach me!” Bakugou threatened, not bothering to see the terrified faces of his employees, as he was already on his way out. He knew exactly what he was going to do for the rest of this day and no villain could stop him from doing so.

A sudden knock on your pulled you out of your feverish dreams. 'Who the hell would have the indecency to bother you on your sick day?’ you thought to yourself as you wrapped the blankets around you and shuffled towards your door.

As you opened the door you couldn’t believe your eyes, was this another fever dream? You stared in pure shock at the person who was standing at your doorstep. Some wires in your head just snapped and before you even knew what you were doing you had slammed the door shut into your boss’s face.

“If you don’t open up that door within the next 10 seconds, I will blast it open!” you could hear him growl from the other side of the door.

What the hell was he doing here? You looked like a freaking zombie, there was no way in hell you were opening that door again, but your thoughts got interrupted by Bakugou’s pissed off counting.

“5.. 4.. goddammit (y/n) just open the fucking door, I brought you soup!”

He did what now? Not even a seconds after Bakugou had spoken out the word soup the door to your apartment swung open. It wasn’t a dream, your subconsciousness could never produce the picture you were seeing in front of you. A terribly beat up Bakugou was holding up a bag with some steam coming off of it. He couldn’t even dare to look into your eyes as you were staring in disbelief at his face, which made him blush even harder.

“Are you gonna invite me inside or not?” he grumbled, making you snap out of your trance. You simply gestured him inside as you held the door open even wider, watching his every step as he helped himself into your kitchen. 

You followed him silently, observing his every move as you tried to figure out if this was really happening right now and not just a dream or a bad joke, but your doubt was immediately forgotten the moment you smelled what Bakugou had brought. 

Your mouth started to water and you couldn’t hold back the growl your stomach made, causing Bakugou to raise an eyebrow at you. You hadn’t eaten all day due to your sick stomach but that soup smelled so good even your sick stomach couldn’t resist. You watched how your boss moved through your kitchen effortlessly and not even a minute later a steaming hot bowl was placed in front of you.

“This is sooo good!” you mumbled to yourself, shoving the soup down like you were drinking shots at a bar.

“Thanks,” Bakugou said in a pleased but still casual voice, which made you choke on your soup.

“Don’t tell me… you actually made that soup yourself?!” you managed to choke out underneath your coughs. 

'Bakugou could have never made a soup like that, he barely even feeds himself so there was just no way in hell he could make something this delicious.’ you thought to yourself while gulping down your water glass but when your eyes met his crimson ones you knew he wasn’t kidding.

“Yes I made that soup myself! You know, I can take perfectly good care of myself and I don’t really need you to bring me lunch every day,” he said blankly. Nobody in the world would believe you when you would tell them that Ground Zero was an outstanding cook, you didn’t even believe it yourself if you weren’t eating the soup yourself at the moment.

“You wouldn’t even survive a whole day without me” you shot back at him with a challenging stare. You were feeling so much better already, not only because of the amazing soup but the company was helping too.

“Pff I could survive at least a week without you!” he replied with a snort, rolling his captivating crimson eyes at you, but you were ready to end this man’s whole career right then and there.

“Yeah? What is your social security number?” you fired right back at him with an award-winning smirk. You knew you had won this fight before you could even see Bakugou’s facial expression drop in surrender.

“That is what I thought! You would be screwed without me,” you laughed out loud after seeing his sour face, but you couldn’t help yourself this whole situation was just too crazy. Never in your dreams would you have imagined that your boss would nurture you back to health with homemade soup after you called in sick for the day, but here you were sitting in front of your boss having the best time of your life, completely forgetting about your headache and sick stomach. You were laughing with all your heart at this point, squinting your eyes and clutching your stomach, nearly missing the small smile that had crept its way onto his lips as he said: “I really do need you.”

[night-rook]

Cheesecake Was The Reason | Sanji x Reader |

A/N: This is my first post and also my first time writing an “??? x Reader”. Hopefully you all enjoy! I DON’T A OWN ANYTHING BUT: THE STORY PLOT AND DUSK!!!   Word court: 2,530

(Y/N) = Your name (C/C)= Career Choice (H/C) = Hair Color (H/L) = Hair Length (S/C) = Skin color (E/C) = Eye Color (F/F) = Favorite Food (B/T) = Body Type (Y/B/H) = Your Body Height

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Staring at one another, the brunette companion couldn’t help but laugh at their friend. (Y/N) had to hold back from attacking them, sinking into her chair as their laugh ceased to a chuckle. The pair always met up for a cafe date. The date was just to catch up on their lives since the pair couldn’t really meet every day. Her brunette friend was going to college for Fashion Design, while she had only gone for her (C/C).

“You’re so dumb for not checking,” Dusk leaned forward and took a sip of her Oreo milkshake, smirking at their (H/C) (H/L) haired friend.

(Y/N) huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest, avoiding the teasing eyes of her companion. She reached for her latte and took a sip. She recalls the events, being reminded herself what she had done.

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After a rather tough gym session, she was laying on her bed after a nice shower for her sore muscles. She reached for her phone and decided to text her fashionista friend. Telling her that she was craving a scrumptious strawberry cheesecake from the Baratie restaurant that the pair went to a year ago. The cheesecake was heaven for her. It was creamy with a light sweetness from the strawberry graze. The flavor was something she’ll die for again if she had the chance. She set her phone down as she waited for her friend’s reply.

She smiled at the memory from that lively night. Dusk saved her paychecks in order to take (Y/N) to the restaurant for her birthday, seeing as the restaurant was rather extravagant and one had to book a reservation months in advance. How the brunette managed to get an appointment on her birthday was something she wondered but she was happy to be treated to a fancy dinner. Especially when she was studying hard for her own exams, the young adult deserved a break.

She had texted someone, no doubt on that. However, she had clicked the wrong icon on the app. (Y/N) didn’t text Dusk, instead she had texted a stranger. The stranger received the text, and he couldn’t help but smile at the text. He didn’t know who the person was but he didn’t want to be rude since the text had complimented his workplace. Although, it wasn’t addressed to him personally. He blew out a cloud of smoke before replying to the text.

“Thank you for enjoying the meal. It warms my heart that you had a great birthday at the restaurant. However, I’m not Dusk… I’m sorry, but I think you have got the wrong person,” He texted before hitting the send button.

(Y/N) was surfing YouTube while she waited. She started to wonder what was taking her bestie so long, normally they were fast to reply. Maybe they were finishing up an assignment that was due tonight, but that doesn’t stop them from texting her. She was about to text them once more, until her notification popped up on the screen. Her (E/C) eyes widen at the unknown icon that showed on her phone screen. She was a bit suspicious of who had texted her, it could be spam.”

“Thank you for… It warms my heart that… not Dusk… got the wrong person,” She read slowly as pink slowly spread across her (S/C) face.

Quickly tossing her phone across the bed, (Y/N) stuffed her flustered face into her pillow and let out a rather loud, muffled shriek. After an hour of mentally cursing her dumbass and praying to whatever god to give her strength on not embarrassing herself more, she got a hold of her phone once again to try and reply to the stranger on the other end. Clearing up the mess she had put herself in and hoping she didn’t heck up again.

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“He seems like a cool guy. I mean, he could have pulled an asshole move by leading you on. What else happened, my dude?” Dusk shrugged as she finished up the milkshake. They picked up the small tablet and requested for another milkshake, it being her third one in the past hour.

(Y/N) sighed and finished up her coffee before setting the empty cup to the end of the table, “He said he wouldn’t mind if we went to the Baratie, even saying he would pay for our meals since not a lot of people compliment his cooking. Apparently my description of how fucking delicious the cheesecake was touched his heart, especially after a hard day in kitchen.”

The brunette nodded their head, resting their chin on the palm of their hand as they silently stared at the (H/C) female. The man was nice and he was kind enough to give her an offer. However, they couldn’t shake the feeling something would happen if they went. Free food is a blessing and free food from one of the city’s most top-tier restaurants was like a grace of god. When their third milkshake came, Dusk took a few sips so as to help make a decision.

“Alrighty then! We’ll go whenever he can get a reservation so we cast a food critic worthy review. Text him that so we know when, bae,” the brunette grinned.

(Y/N) smiled at her friend and texted the Baratie cook about his offer. The pair continued with their cafe date, joking around and enjoying the rest of the evening together even after the cafe.

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A few weeks had passed when it came to the restaurant day. The Baratie cook, who later said his name was Sanji, had told (Y/N) that he had managed to get a table cleared for her at the Baratie on the last Saturday of the next month. It was a loathsome wait for the dinner to come, the (E/C) eyed female was growing more anxious as it got closer. Dusk had planned the dress appeal for her earlier that month. They slightly lied about the restaurant having a dress code rule, but in reality they wanted to doll her up again for the special night.

The pair walked into the restaurant and told the host about their reservation. The host nodded before giving the menus and led the pair to one of the more private booths. A waiter came by for them and the pair ordered for some drinks before silence came over them. Dusk mainly looked over the menu to see what was appropriate for this night, while (Y/N) glanced around nervously.

She tugged slightly on her dress. Having her friend pick out her clothes was probably a good idea, but she should have said something on the length. It was short and fit to her (B/T) but the dress may be too short because it reached a little up to her mid-thigh. The more she tugged on the dress, the more she wanted to ask her friend for their coat. (Y/N) blushed a bit as her friend looked up from the menu to see her struggling with the outfit.

“Why did I let you dress me? This is cute and all, but it’s short as hell!” she quietly protested

The brunette only stared before looking over to the side and smiled at the waiter who came with their drinks and orders. After they ordered, Dusk leaned back into the leather seat and gave her a devilish smirk.

“Honestly, I wanted to see if you can charm the dude with that cute body of yours. You talk about him often, seeing as you and him have been texting in your spare time,” they commented before taking a sip of their drink.

(Y/N) covered her blushing face in her hands upon hearing their words. They were right about her texting him practically everyday. The past couple of weeks weren’t boring with the consent images of all the dishes he made. She would drool at the sight of each plate, secretly wanting to be a small piggy and pork it all down. The conversations she shared with Sanji were fun when it wasn’t about food. He would talk about recipes to asking how her day was. To her, he seemed to be a real gentlemanly kind of male. She won’t admit to anyone that she may have developed a sort of crush on the mysterious cook behind the screen.

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In the kitchen, a tall blond man was cooking up a storm. He wanted to make these dishes perfect! His pride was on the line because he was cooking for not just anyone tonight. He was cooking for the cute (H/C) female of his long text messaging nights from work. The blond always looked forward to the conversations. Each message was like a break from the stressful kitchen after cooking over thousands of plates for the hungry customs and regulars.

Sanji loved his job and he always made outstanding dishes. His mentor and father figure had taught him everything a chef of his expertise could do. The blond was the sou chef to the infamous Zeff, his teaching put him where he is now. Being a sou chef in a five star restaurant, it helped him get a better living style after the incident with his actual family. Something he wasn’t fond of and much rather leave it out of his life. When (Y/N) had texted that night, he swore he felt his heart stop.

He was telling the truth about never receiving a compliment, it was normally to Zeff who got them since he was the head chef and it was his kitchen. When he got the text, he knew it was a mistake but it nevertheless made him happy to get it. His offer on getting them a reservation had no catch, but he did want to see (Y/N)’s reaction to his cooking. He wanted her opinion over the flavors and texture the food had. To him, she was like a food angel. Not only did she give a review on the food she had all those months ago, she had remembered how she felt and how it tasted.

Tonight, he was going to outdo himself with their orders. As he finished up the detailing, Sanji set the dishes off. However, he told the server to inform the customers that once they were finished to ask for him right away. He didn’t wish to waste a moment!

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When their food had arrived, (Y/N) said her thanks before taking a careful bite of the (F/F). Her eyes widened as the pleasurable flavors a simple spoonful had. She took a minute to get herself back into reality before digging right in. Dusk chuckled to themselves at listening to her delightful moans as they ate their own meal. After they finished, the waiter came back and asked if they wished to get the chef.

“Yes, may we have a word with the chef who made these heavenly meals. We wish to personally thank them for their hard work,” Dusk quickly spoke before (Y/N) could utter a word in.

With the waiter leaving, the brunette set their napkin on their plate before getting up. (Y/N) looked up at her friend and was about to ask what they were doing. Dusk pointed over to the corner to show that they were heading to the restroom. Hiding their smirk from her, they left and let the (Y/B/H) meet her virtual crush.

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When Sanji saw her, he couldn’t help but blush at the sight of her (S/C) beauty. The dress was ravishing and showed the right amount of her to still leave for the imagination. He had to take a moment to shake his head before reaching her. He cleared his throat to get her attention and smiled at her, happy to finally see her in person after weeks of texting.

“Hey, Chérie. You look so beautiful tonight,” He smiled while standing by the table, looking down at her with gentle gray blue eyes.

His words made her cheek turn scarlet rather instantly. (Y/n) hung her head down and mumbled out a quiet thank you. There was a brief silence between the pair, until Sanji decided to tilt her head to face him. He could only smile at her before gesturing if he could take a seat with her, she quickly nodded a yes.

He broke the ice first with what he knew best, “ Was your food okay? Did it miss anything? If it did, I whip up something better for you, belle.”

Her head snapped up as she stared at the male with such shock. How could he ask if his cooking was just okay. It was way better than great and even beyond delicious!

“Your cooking is better than delicious, Sanji! It was like I was eating gold if that even has flavor. I bet you could make it taste flavorful too,” she yelled at the blond. Not a loud yell but one that sounded more firm and thankful.

His smile turned to a grin as her words made his heart flip. He chuckled at her pouty face, seeing as she may be annoyed from what he said. He reached over the table for her hand and rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. Sanji was glad his cooking was marvelous enough for his angel. (Y/N) gave him a sweet smile in return, feeling the warmth from his hand on her cold hand.

They stared into each other’s eyes for the longest time, no words were shared between them. His grey ocean orbs lost in the silk smooth (E/C) depths of her eyes. They were enjoying the physical presence of each other after weeks of talking to one another over the phone. The restaurant became white noise as they were in their own world in that private booth.

Glancing down at this watch, Sanji internally dreaded the reality of going back to work. He looked back at (Y/N) before leaving a soft kiss to her hand.

“I have to get back to the kitchen if not the old man will have my hands,” he joked as he stood up and walked over to her. He smiled and shyly looked at her when he said the next few words, “May I take you on a proper date next time?”

(Y/N)’s face lit up like a fire blazing on a cold winter night. She didn’t trust her voice so instead she nodded her head as her smile grew to a grin. Sanji grinned and bent down to place a gentle kiss on her forehead, feeling relieved that his angel had said yes.

As he walked away, her brunette had returned from the restroom and took a seat back at the booth. They noticed the way (Y/N) stared longingly at the retreating blond. They didn’t bother to ask her what had happened, seeing her like a crushing schoolgirl was enough to satisfy them. Leaning back in their seat, the brunette waited for their order of strawberry cheesecake. It was after all the main reason for coming.

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[banditthewriter]

Get Out Alive - Billy Russo

Here we have the Halloween fic that I’ve been working on all month and then FORGOT TO POST! Like a dumbass. But anyways! Here we go.

Warning: Violence, stressful situations, more violence.

Tags are at the bottom. Let me know if you would like to be added to one of my tag lists!

*gif is mine*

Enjoy!

*****

The envelope was golden, your name and addressed penned in an elegant script in black. It was mixed in with your water bill and a reminder of your yearly gyno appointment. Both of those were tossed onto the coffee table before you turned the golden envelope over.

A red wax seal held it shut. The insignia was a skull. You carefully pulled on the ribbon tab to open the envelope. Inside was a glossy black index card.

As you toed off your heels, you read over the invitation. 

Y/N Y/L/N, 

You are cordially invited to a dinner at the Wellman's Manor on All Hallow's Eve.

Following the dinner there will be a mystery guest and an announcement of great magnitude. Your presence has been requested. 

The invitation held no signature, just the address to the old Wellman's Manor, a note about it being a black tie affair, and the time you should arrive. You read it twice just in case you'd missed something. 

Jesus. This was almost too good to be true. You pulled your phone out of your purse and dialed your best friend as you headed down the hall and into your bedroom. 

"Hey Janine, do you remember me telling you that someone was refurbishing the old Wellman's Manor?"

"I love when you start halfway into a conversation," Janine grumbled, then laughed immediately afterward. "Of course, you could barely contain yourself and wondered if they were going to open up for tours."

"Well apparently they are opening up for something. I got an invitation to a dinner there. There's going to be a mystery guest and some big announcement."

Janine made the appropriate oohs and aahs as you told her about it, but you knew it was for your benefit. She didn't have your interest in the history of that house.

"It's on Halloween. Do you realize how creepy that is? Isn't this the 150th anniversary of the murders?"

It was, actually. And that was part of the draw, to be completely honest. Who didn't love a house with a murderous past? And the many tales of ghostly visions over the years.

"This is just the distraction I need right now," you said with a sigh as you settled onto the edge of your bed.

Work was a disaster, your family was driving your crazy, and your love life was a train wreck. The only thing you had was your cat and Janine.

"Just be careful Y/N," Janine warned from a distance, your mind already working on an outfit for the dinner, "I don't want you to get in over your head."

"Of course, definitely not."

------

The dress was stellar. It fit you just right, the lacy black material folded over the black satin to give waves and extra length. You tugged on a dressy overcoat and buckled into your shoes. 

Everything was perfect. Your hair was styled, your make up was subdued but looked good. You had painted your nails black with some silver glitter at the top. All in all, you looked like you were going to a very fancy funeral. 

You grabbed your clutch. The clock showed that it had just turned five thirty when there was a honk outside. 

Your ride was right on time.

The driver had opened the door to the backseat by time you got out there. You smiled and thanked him, but he didn't react.

Odd.

Whoever it was that put together the dinner had spared no expense. They had sent a car that had champagne in the back. You didn't touch it, wanting to be completely aware of every moment you were in the house.

It was about twenty minutes to the Manor, so you sat back and fiddled with your phone. Janine had asked you to stay in touch with her so you sent her a picture of you in the town car. 

You decided to do a little research into the company that held the lease on the property. You'd seen their name in the paper a few times when the sale first happened. Oddly enough you hadn't seen anything about it being open to the public, but maybe that's what this was about. 

You'd entered your name into a raffle to win a piece of the original furniture of the house. Maybe that was tied into this.

The company didn't have much to go on except that they restored historical landmarks to their formal glory. As you clicked to see a list of their previous work, your phone refused to load.

You knew you had unlimited data so it shouldn't be that. Instead of worrying about it, you put your phone into your clutch. 

Right on time too. As you did, the car went around a curve and the Wellman's Manor was visible. It was massive, three stories and an unknown number of rooms. It was a Gothic Victorian mansion rather than a Manor, but the Wellman family had another larger home in the south somewhere. 

Well they used to have one. This was the home where the entire family and their party guests were killed. It was a well known piece of history in these parts.

The driver stopped in front of the long set of stairs that led to the porch. He came around and opened the door for you, his hand gesturing up the stairs. 

As you started up them, the car pulled away. You wanted to ask him where you needed to go, but you figured someone else would be there. 

You went to the porch first, your eyes wide as you took it all in. It was beautiful. There were sculptures instead of columns.

At the door, you tried to large handle, but the door didn't budge. In the middle of either door was a dragon's head with a knocker in its mouth. You used that to knock on the door.

Moments later, the door opened up. A man bowed at you before he led you in.

He was also silent as he took your jacket and placed it in a coat room off the foyer. Then he led you into a sitting room where you saw a large group of people waiting.

And you recognized some of them. 

That was Matt Murdock and Foggy Nelson. And was that… yeah, Frank Castle. There was a woman with him that had her back to you, so you weren't sure who it was.

In the corner was that PI, what was her name... Jessica Jones. She's wasn't wearing a dress, because that would have been terrifying. And she was still wearing a leather jacket. She was with a blonde woman you didn't recognize, but she was dressed in a red gown that made you envious of her body.

There were a few others people you didn't recognize, but you weren't the only one that came alone.

With nothing else to do, you moved over to Matt and Foggy. Foggy touched Matt's arm to let him know someone was coming up behind them. 

"Hey Y/N, welcome to the murder house," he greeted with a grin.

"This is amazing. I still can't believe I'm here. And you boys look dapper," you complimented after you shook both of their hands.

"Foggy keeps telling me my tie doesn't match my suit," Matt said with a smirk, his eyes unmoving behind his red tinted glasses. 

You rolled your eyes at Foggy's snickers.

"It's fine, but it's a little crooked. Here, can I?"

With Matt's nod, you reached up to fix the knot. While you worked on it, the door opened and let in another guest.

Hopefully you didn't tighten the tie too much in your shock. Here you were about to enjoy a wonderful meal for the first time in a long time and in walks the man that broke your heart. 

What was Billy Russo doing here?

His eyes scanned over the room. You weren't sure they rested on you for more than a second before he moved over to where Frank was standing with… that was journalist Karen Page.

Well okay then.

"Friend of yours?"

You lowered your hands and shot Foggy a reproachful look. He grinned and cleared his throat.

"Why don't you get her a drink instead of making fun of her?"

You squeezed Matt's arm in appreciation as Foggy walked away with a quick apologetic look. You tried not to look over to where Billy was, but you couldn't help it.

He looked… amazing. His hair was pushed back, his facial hair professionally trimmed. His tux was obviously tailored to him.

"It's the ex, isn't it? The one you told us about?"

Thankfully Foggy got there just at the right time to hand you a glass of wine. You took a long sip before you answered Matt's question. 

"Yes, that's the one," you offered faux jovially before you took another drink from your glass. "You guys mind if I stick with you tonight?"

"Do we mind a very attractive woman—you can't see her but she's really attractive—hanging out with us in a Gothic murder house? Hm, let me think."

Matt nudged his friend with a laugh. 

"You're welcome to stick with us. Wouldn't have it any other way."

You were grateful that at least someone in this group was someone you were friends with. You weren't sure you could handle it if Billy was here and you were alone. 

Especially when he looked that good.

As you started to wonder who else would be joining the group, a man came into the room wearing a black suit and black gloves. He wasn't dressed like the man who had let you in, so he must have worked for the company that bought the Manor. 

"Welcome, welcome to Wellman's Manor. If you all will follow me, we will have a quick tour before dinner."

A quick tour? You were excited thinking that meant you would see the whole Manor but you soon learned it just meant the first floor. And not even all of it, if you were remembering the layout correctly.

The group was led through the library and an office, plus a room that housed paintings and plants. The kitchen was visible from the hallway, but he didn't go that direction. 

The man, who still hadn't introduced himself, detailed the restoration process of the house. He ignored any questions about the house or who he was. His focus was solely on what he was saying. 

It almost sounded scripted. 

You led Matt around with your arm linked through his. You would whisper to him to describe what was being discussed and sometimes made off the cuff comments about your tour guide. More than one of them made him laugh. 

Near the back of the group was Billy, Frank, and Karen. You'd made eye contact with him once and had immediately turned away, whispering to Matt about something or other to distract yourself. 

You almost wished this night would go faster.

"Here we have the dining room. Please find the seat with your name."

It seemed that people who had come here together were separated. Foggy was next to a blond man whose fingers kept twitching and a black man with a frown. Matt was on an end with Jessica Jones beside him. She at least seemed to know Matt so you weren't worried about him being by myself.

Not that you were very worried about him anyways. 

Then you walked around until you found your name tag. As you pulled out your chair, you froze when you saw who was sitting down beside you. 

Billy. Shit. Could this night get any worse?

On your other side was the blond man with twitchy fingers. At least you were near Foggy.

On Billy's other side was the blonde who had come with Jessica. You realized it was Trish Walker, the radio personality. She was even more beautiful than her billboards. And the two of them side by side looked like a couple from a magazine. It was a little sickening honestly.

The man rang a bell at the front of the room and the doors that must have led to the kitchen opened up. One by one servers came into the room. They placed silver trays in front of each of you, uncovering them to show a side salad and soup. 

“Enjoy,” he said before he made his way out of the door you all had come in through.

It was quiet for a while before people finally started to eat. Then there was a slow rise in the noise level as people started talking to each other. 

Your eyes cut over to Billy, wondering if he was already talking to the beautiful and successful Trish Walker. Instead he was looking at you.

“Didn’t expect to see you here,” he said conversationally as he picked up his fork to start in on his salad.

“I could say the same,” you said as you looked back down to your own food. “I didn’t even know you knew anything about this house.”

You didn’t remind him that you talked about it all the time when the two of you’d been together. Instead you simply left it at that. Whatever Billy might have said in response was ignored in favor of the man at your other side who decided you were a better conversationalist than Foggy.

The man on your left was named Benjamin Poindexter—”Call me Dex,”—a former Army vet who had recently stepped down from the FBI. When you told him about your job, you kept it simple because you knew he’d know what it entailed.

“I work for the CSU in New York City.”

“No shit, really? We probably crossed paths at some point. Although,” he added with a grin in your direction, “I think I’d remember you.”

You felt heat rise to your cheeks as you looked away for a moment. He was attractive, funny, and interested in you. Maybe this wasn’t going to be such a bad evening after all.

The rest of the courses were brought in one by one. Dessert was an array of different types of sweets, each one more decadent than the last. It was a meal fit for royalty. Or at the very least for famous people. Your hours usually meant you didn't have time to cook for yourself so it was nice to get something not out of a paper bag or a ziploc.

You continued talking to Dex for most of the meal. Both of you had similar stories and a similar sense of humor so it was an easy conversation. Not as easy was catching glimpses of Billy deep in conversation with Trish Walker. 

It shouldn't matter who he talked to. It had already been six months since the last time you'd seen him; you highly doubted he'd been a monk in that time frame. 

No, he was more than welcome to chat up the beautiful radio star. He could go home with her for all you cared.

Maybe you'd give Dex your number. Keeping in touch wouldn't be a bad idea.

Conversations around the table varied from different subjects. The most common was the news that a prisoner transfer bus with almost two dozen of the most violent offenders in the state had gone missing. 

No one believed it was an accident. You and Dex had some theories, but nothing would be able to be proven until the investigation continued. 

Once the plates had been cleared, one of the servers gestured to the large doors you all had entered through. Realizing this meant it was time to get up, you started to rise when your chair was pulled out for you. 

"Thank you," you told Dex, ignoring Billy's look as you stood up and turned towards your dinner companion. "Shall we?"

The whole group followed the server into what could only be referred to as a screening room. There was a large projector like screen on the wall as well as cabinets and shelves of movies and television shows.

You could live happily in that room.

Everyone either took seats around the room or stayed standing. You gravitated to Matt and Foggy, Dex not far behind. 

"Think this has something to do with the mystery guest and the announcement?"

You shrugged in response to Foggy's question. His guess was as good as yours. 

The lights went down in the room, causing all of you to look around for the source. But before anyone could pinpoint it, the projector screen came to life.

The man who had given a quick tour of the first floor was seen on the screen. He was dressed the same, but there was something in his eyes as he looked into the camera. It was like he could see you all. 

"I hope you enjoyed your meal. It was a perfect recreation of the last meal that was eaten in this house before the tragedy of that night, one hundred and fifty years ago." The man dusted off his coat and looked at the camera again. "You were all asked here for a reason. You showed an interest in this house or the family who owned it. Some of the interest was professional, some personal, but it all meant the same thing. That the tragedy that fell upon this house all that time ago was a mockery. A tourist trap."

And unease settled among you and the other guests. This man seemed a little unhinged.

"It has been one hundred and fifty years to the day since the tragedy and I have taken it upon myself to get the revenge that we were sorely refused. Tonight, all of you are in danger."

That got everyone's attention. The raised voices were quieted by the man's next words. 

"If you survive the night, you will be released, but survival is not guaranteed. The servers in the kitchen are prisoners from some of the worst prisons in the state. You might have heard about an ill-fated transfer."

A hush fell over the room. All of you had just been talking about that. If it was true, there were some very horrible men in the house.

"Well then let's just leave," someone said, but the man on the screen turned towards the voice. 

As if he could hear and see you all. 

"The doors are high tech, locked. Not even the most powerful of you will be able to bust through them. And the windows are made of an unbreakable glass."

That meant you were all locked in the house? With murderers? Your mind started to work overdrive as someone else posed a question. 

"So what's stopping us from calling for help? Or from just barricading ourselves into this room until you release us?"

The man smiled, but there was something detached about the movement. Like he was anything but pleased.

"None of your phones will have service. As for why you wouldn't want to just stick together, well, obviously one of you is a murderer as well."

All of you looked around at the other guests, trying to gauge reactions to that. You had no idea who might be the murderer. Although you noticed most people looking at Frank Castle. 

"No, not Mr Castle, that's too obvious."

It was Karen Page who spoke up next.

"So there's a murderer in here. If they try anything, there's more of us. They wouldn't stand a chance."

She had a point. If you all could get to one room that was easily defended from the prisoners, then you could wait it out. He said that you'd all be released if you survived the night. That meant just a few hours until–

"Oh, one more thing. Hidden around the house, very well hidden, is a vial. One for each of you. In this vial is an antidote to the poison that was in your food. And depending on the person and how much you have eaten, you might not make it until sunrise."

The room exploded, everyone yelling over each other as they demanded an explanation from the man on the screen. Now his grin stretched over his lips as he stared down at the room, please by the reaction he was receiving. 

"Survive until sunrise and you will be released and given the antidote if you haven't already found one. Otherwise you can join the Wellman family and their guests in the afterlife."

The screen went dark, pitching the room into sudden blackness. Then the lights came on. 

Frank and Billy moved first, barricading the door that the group had walked through to begin with. The rest of the group realized what they were doing and followed suit, barricading the other two doors.

It left the group of you trapped and alone. And up against the clock. 

"What's the plan here? Stay locked up until we die from being poisoned? Hope that he keeps his word and let's us out in the morning?"

"We don't even know if we were really poisoned," Trish pointed out as she smoothed down her dress.

Matt turned to face you, moving his hand so that you stepped closer. He leaned in close and took a deep breath.

"There's something there," he said as he pulled away, turning to face the room, "I can smell the difference. At the very least, Y/N is poisoned."

The people in the room that were in the know of how Matt could tell all swore under their breaths. Slowly people approached Matt to be checked. And the people who were not in the know were told that he had a heightened sense of smell because he was blind.

Technically it wasn't a lie.

All of you were poisoned, just as he had said. And poisons reacted differently with some people. Not everyone would be able to hold off until the morning, just like the man had said.

"What if we throw it up?" That came from Dex who looked around the room before he met your eyes. "We could get most of it out of our system, right?"

"The poison coming back up after being exposed to our stomach acid could cause more harm than good, especially without knowing what it is."

Shit. The room was in an uproar again. It was a verbal sparring match between going to try to find a way out, trying to find the antidotes, and staying in the room. 

"Me, Bill, and Cage can go and try to find some of the vials. Rest of you stayed here and if someone tries to come in–"

Foggy was mumbling something about splitting up in horror movies, but it didn't last long. There was a loud crack that came from a door in the back of the room. Everyone turned in time for a second crack to resound from the back. 

Someone was using an ax to break the lock on the door. There was a table in front of it, but it looked flimsy. Apparently they weren't sure if they believed that they were in danger when they blocked that table. 

"Guess now we know it was true," Jessica grumbled before she grabbed a wooden chair. She shattered the thing over her knee and started distributing the legs and sides to be used as clubs. 

Cage, as in Luke Cage, did the same with another chair before he handed out some makeshift clubs. Frank grabbed two heavy golden candlestick holders, one for Karen and one for you.

"What good is this stuff against an ax?"

Frank didn't have time to answer. The back door came flying open and a man stalked through the length of the room. It was the one who had driven you to the house. He swung his ax at Dex who had surged forward, knocking the man off balance. Next was Frank and he caught the edge of the ax against his temple.

The man with the ax turned and caught a glimpse of you. He smiled and pointed the ax at you before he started your way. Matt was coming up behind you, Luke and someone else telling you to get back. 

You reacted on instinct. With as much strength as you could muster, you threw the candlestick holder at him. It bounced off his shoulder, slowing him down for a second as he winced. He was within feet of you as you tried to stumble backwards.

A dull thud echoed in the room before his body crumbled. Behind him was Billy, the leg of a chair held aloft like a baseball bat. There was even a little blood on the edge.

"Grab the ax," he told Frank in a low voice, "and find something for us to tie him up with. Unless you think we should just kill him."

Billy stepped almost as if he was going to help you up, but Foggy got there first.

"Jesus he was heading straight for you," Foggy breathed as he pulled you back some more.

"He was the guy that picked me up. That means he…" You hesitated, your eyes meeting Billy's. "He knows where I live."

If you all survived this and they weren't caught, he could come after you again. Billy merely looked at Frank who had just picked up the ax. Whatever silent communication passed between them, Frank shrugged his shoulder before he swung the ax down onto the man's neck. 

"Jesus Christ," Trish yelled from nearby, "want to warn us before you do that shit?"

A man that you didn't recognize and you hadn't heard speak finally stepped up, his hand on the woman beside him. They both look scared shitless.

"We aren't staying here," the man explained as he dragged his wife towards the door that led out into a hallway. "This is sick. And it's not going to happen, it's not... "

The two of them disappeared out of the room despite almost all of you yelling for them to come back.

"They don't have any goddamn weapons and this guy having an ax means that the prisoners are armed. Talk about a fair fight," Dex said as he hoisted his chair leg onto his shoulder.

"Yeah, but not a lot of good being armed did you," Billy shot back as he made a show of wiping the blood off his chair leg on the back of the dead man's jacket. "I say we relocate, make sure the room isn't able to be breached, and then we follow Frank's plan. Get a few vials and wait it out."

There was a pretty even divide over who thought that was a good plan and who thought it was a bad one. You just wanted to get away from the dead body. It was part of your job, but in those cases, it wasn't a body you had watched be killed. Or someone who had almost killed you. 

"Guys," Matt said in a careful voice, his face turning towards a wall, "there's gas being fed into this room. I can smell it. We need to get out of here."

That was a good enough reason for the rest of you. The group moved forward, with Frank and Billy in front and Dex and Luke at the back. Jessica was in the middle, her body poised for a fight. And Matt looked like he wished he was wearing his other suit. 

The group of you moved from the screening room and down the hall. The kitchen was locked up. Frank tried to use the ax but it didn't even dent the door. 

"Let's get settled somewhere first," Billy urged before the group started the move again. 

The next room was a small library. The bigger one was upstairs, you knew that. The first door was blocked off with a bookshelf, hoping it was heavy enough to keep the door shut. Then once the room was cleared, they shut the door you all had just walked through.

"We shouldn't split up," Karen said as she went around checking behind books, either for a weapon or maybe even a vial of the antidote. "We're more vulnerable in groups."

"Yeah but we can't move a group of ten of us around the house looking for vials, we'll be like fish in a barrel."

You moved over to one of the shelves, ignoring the fight behind you. Once again the room was divided on what to do next. Instead of focusing on that, you focused on what else it meant. 

Twelve people originally. Twelve people came to this house to enjoy themselves and have a dinner but then this? Now you were all in a fight for survival. The man and woman who left probably didn’t stand a chance against the prisoners. 

This house was three stories tall with an unknown number of rooms. The man that built it had built in secret passages and trap doors as well as false rooms. He wanted it to be a maze.

A hand touched your shoulder and you jerked, unaware that anyone had been behind you. Matt removed his hand and gave you a small smile. 

"I think the group is splitting up."

You looked around and sure enough, Jessica, Trish, and Luke were already gone. Dex too. Matt motioned to him and Foggy.

"We're gonna stick together. I'll hear if someone's coming."

You looked over to Billy, Frank, and Karen and bit your lip. 

"The six of us should stick together," you said as you stepped away from the bookshelf. "Foggy and I can't do much defending and Matt is just one person. There's still what, twenty-three more prisoners?"

Karen and Frank were already nodding, not needing you to try to prove that it was a good idea. Billy gave you a look that you couldn't quite decipher.

"Plus she knows the layout the best. Could come in handy," Billy explained with a quick nod. "We're gonna try to find a few vials, maybe some weapons. Then we can come back down here until sunrise."

It was the best plan. You wished you had paid attention to figure out why the others left.

You were a little disappointed that Dex was gone. 

You stuck close to Foggy and Matt, with Billy behind you. Karen and Frank were in front of you.

"Let's head up one floor," Frank said, eye contact with Billy to get the point across, "do some checks up there. Heads on a swivel right now."

Frank kept the ax close. Karen and Foggy had chair legs. Billy had a chair leg and a fireplace poker. When he noticed your attention, he handed the fireplace poker to you. 

"Try not to stab anyone unless it's a prisoner," he said before he gave you a push to follow the others. 

"I think we can agree to a truce for the night," you said as you followed the others down a hallway.

"Alright tour guide, where to first?"

You looked around to orient yourself, ignoring Frank's quip. The two of you hadn't interacted much when you and Billy were dating. That probably had something to do with the fact that you weren't really dating, you were just fucking with meals in between.

God, you'd been falling in love with him and he didn't even consider the two of you a serious relationship. And you found that out when he was out with someone else.

"The stairs on this side of the house lead first to a library and an office. There's some smaller closets I think. There also should be a storage room there too."

"Good enough for me," Frank said before he turned towards the stairs. 

All of you made your way up the curved staircase. Just as your feet cleared the last stair with Matt at your side, you heard a ferocious yell in the distance followed by a loud thud. Then more thudding.

"Tell me that was Luke Cage making mincemeat out of someone," Foggy begged. Karen grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hall.

Not even halfway down the hall, Matt grabbed your arm and stilled. You turned to him, worried about what was wrong. His head was cocked, obviously listening to something else. 

"Someone's in that room. Rapid heart rate, smells like sweat."

Billy reached for the handle, counting to three under his breath before he yanked the door open. Him and Matt sprang into action as another prisoner launched himself at the three of you from inside the closet.

While Matt did his usual martial arts styles, Billy seemed to just want to end the man. You knew Daredevil didn't kill, but Billy didn't have that hang up. And the two of them together worked pretty well.

"Y/N, watch out!"

You spun around just in time to see another prisoner darting your way. He came out of a room between where the others were and where you were, so they weren't close enough to stop him. 

The fireplace poker in your hand felt heavy in your hand as you swung it out, but the man blocked it with something metal by the sound of the ringing in your ears. 

Then your ass was on the ground, the man looming over you. The crowbar in the man's hands was pressed against your throat as he climbed on top of you. 

You couldn't find the poker but, as your vision started to go blurry, you fell back on old self defense methods. Your thumbs went to his eye sockets, pressing as hard as you could. You also dug your nails into the side of his face to gain more leverage.

He let out a scream of pain, leaning up just enough for you to get a breath. You aimed a punch for his throat and when that didn't deter him, you aimed a punch for his kidneys. Your dress had your legs pinned but you put your feet flat and rolled, tipping the two of you to the side.

"Don't move," Frank called as he swung out, his ax catching the man on the back. 

As he screamed at the ax cutting into his back, you crawled away from him. Frank continued to hack away and you rolled out of the strike zone.

"C'mere," a familiar voice said as you were lifted back onto your feet. "Shit, you okay?"

You nodded even as Billy tilted your face up to check your throat. It hurt to breathe a bit, but at least you could breathe.

Matt came up between the two of you, a smudge on his face. Blood. You winced as you looked between him and Billy. 

"Guess you finished your guy off too?"

Billy released you and bent down to pick up something. It was the crowbar the man had used. He also picked up the fireplace poker you had dropped.

"If they are moving, don't swing, stab. Momentum will get that end through them," he said as he gestured to the end of the poker. 

"Thanks for that," you said as you grabbed the poker from him. 

You leaned against the wall and kicked off your heels. Then you frowned at your dress. 

"You wouldn't happen to have your knife on you, would you?"

Billy raised his eyebrow before he pulled out a small knife. It wasn't his usual knife, but he usually had something on him. He held it out to you hilt first and you accepted it.

You cut through the lace first, then the satin underneath. You only cut off a few inches but it was enough to move around without tripping. Between that and your shoes off, you felt a little better. 

Karen grabbed the knife from you and did the same thing. Afterwards she handed the knife back to Billy. 

"Let's try this again," Frank said before the six of you started down the hall once more.

Foggy came to your side, letting Matt listen for more hidden prisoners. He looked around at the other four people and then leaned towards you. 

"Who do you think the murderer is?"

You snorted as you gestured for Frank that the room nearby was the library by holding your hands like a book. 

"I thought it was you," you joked as you knocked your shoulder into Foggy's. "But really I don't know. If he meant that there was someone capable of murder, there's too many to count. If he meant there was someone who had murdered and gotten away with it, there's still probably too many to count."

Foggy nodded as he hefted the chair leg he had been given. 

"No offense but my money is on your boy the FBI agent," he said with a tense smile as you both approached the library door. "Something about him just made me uncomfortable."

He was very intense but you didn't get a dangerous vibe from him. Then again you were focused so much on ignoring Billy that maybe you missed those signs. 

Speaking of Billy. He came up behind the two of you and shut the library door. There was another door on the far side that opened the room up to the other side of the house, but Frank shut that door. 

Once both doors were blocked, you all looked around and the library. There was a maze of stacks blocking view of the back of the library. 

"The vials could be hidden anywhere," Karen said as she lifted up a few knickknacks on a table. 

"The prisoners too," Frank reminded before he looked at Matt. "What about it Red, hear anything?"

Matt strained his hearing before he shook his head.

"Six heart beats, just us."

You let out a small, petty laugh as you looked at Billy. 

"Well look at that, guess you do have a heart," you quipped before you stormed off down through the stacks.

You weren't interested in his response. 

There were more and more bookshelves the further into the room you went. The books were all different genres and languages, some newer and some obviously from when the house was first inhabited. There didn't seem to be any kind of shelving process as far as you could see.

You ran your fingers along the spine of the books of one shelf. It was eye level, the books older than the rest. Once again it wasn't in any sort of order. 

Who would put a book that starts with V next to I?

You hesitated as your eyes moved to the next few books. A. L. S.

Vials. The order of the books spelled out vials!

You stepped back and started at the front of the shelf.

T. H. E. V. I. A. L. S. A. R. E. H. I. D. D. E. N. H. E. R. E.

Was it too easy? You looked around but to here wasn't anywhere to hide them. Then one by one you pulled the books down to check behind them. The back of the shelf was solid.

Was it a trick? Except…

The book that started with the H in here was heavy. Heavier than it looked. You opened the book and your eyes widened. A small vial was secreted in between the pages.

Carefully you plucked out the vial. Then you stepped over the books and headed to where you could hear voices.

"Just keep it Karen," Frank snapped as he pushed something small into her hand. Neither of them could see you yet. "I'm not fighting with you on this. I'm bigger so the poison will take longer."

There must have been a second vial in the room. You looked down at yours and then stepped into the light.

"Where did you find yours?"

They seemed surprised to see you, but not guilty. They weren't hiding that they'd found one. Karen pointed to a book that was appropriately named "Cures for Poisons".

"A little on the nose," Karen remarked as she tucked the vial into her cleavage. "And you?"

You ran your fingers over the spines of the books near you. 

"The first letter in the title of the books spelled out a clue. So they aren't just hidden, it's a scavenger hunt?"

Matt and Foggy were next to find you three. They hadn't found anything but Matt did say he could hear someone on the other side of the wall. 

"They weren't talking and didn't seem to be rushing. Couldn't get to them without going through the doors."

"We need to tear this room apart. We already found two vials, who knows how many are here?"

Seconds after he said that there was the sound of running out in the hall the six of you had just come through. The footsteps grew quieter and then you heard a louder set follow just a moment later.

"Shit," you breathed as you wrapped your arms around yourself. Then, "Where's Billy?"

"I'm right here," he said from the dark corner, a book in his hand, "just waiting for the next order."

All of you, minus Billy who seemed to just be along for the ride, decided to look through as many books as possible. You warned them to look at the titles and arrangement of the books. Clues could be anywhere. 

Everyone scattered to different corners of the room except for you and Billy. You looked at the book in his hand. There wasn't a vial in it, but it looked like sketches.

"What is that?" He wouldn't have picked it up for no reason.

Billy turned the inside towards you. 

"Richard Wellman, the architect of the house," he explained as he turned the book back towards him. "This is his journal. It talks about trap doors and hidden rooms all over the house."

You remembered that from your own research. 

"They said he was insane," you explained as you turned away from Billy to look at the shelves. "The love of his life left him the day of their wedding and he never really recovered. He built this house as a distraction. People said it resembled the inside of his head."

Billy made a noise low in his throat at that.

"You uh, you always loved this place. Could recite the names of the people who died as if they were your friends." He shut the book and let it rest at his side. "It was part of the reason I entered into that raffle."

You were stunned silent. Then, with curiosity brimming, you began to question him on that. Only you didn't get the chance.

The floor rumbled as something gave way not far from where you were. There was a loud scream and a crash.

Billy went first, keeping you at his side as the two of you made your way around the shelves. In the middle of the floor was a circular hole. It was obviously made that way. If you looked hard enough, you could briefly make out the mechanisms that made up the trap door.

And then there was something else. In the middle of the floor down on the bottom level was Foggy. He wasn't moving. 

"No," you cried as you moved forward, but Billy held you back.

"He hit a trap," Matt explained as he paced around the edge of the circle, side stepping Karen and Frank who arrived moments later. "Fell right through. I should have sensed it."

But how could he have? The trap looked to be a book that Foggy had pulled out that opened the trap door. There was no telling what could have triggered it until it happened. 

"Is he–"

"No," Matt cut off Karen, shaking his head, "I can hear his heart. I think he hit his head. I can smell blood."

With Billy's help holding you steady, you peered through the trap door as best you could. 

"It's one of the lower rooms. He can't stay down there by himself, one of the prisoners might–"

"I'll jump down," Matt said as he tugged off his glasses and then his jacket. "None of the prisoners will get past me."

Whether or not he'd give up his vow not to kill, you weren’t sure. As Matt got ready to drop down, Billy held out his crowbar.

"Might need something other than your right hook to take them on. Get somewhere safe and hole up. We'll be down there in no time."

You went over to Matt and pulled the vial out of your dress. You pressed it into his hand and kissed his cheek. 

"Good luck. Be careful."

He gave you a nod before he dropped down through the trap door. He landed a little wobbly but then he was at Foggy's side. Once you heard Foggy's confused groan, you knew he was alright.

"Let's head to the office now," Frank said as he motioned away from the trap door. "Better to keep moving. Quicker we find these vials, quicker we can get back down there."

All of you agreed that that was the best plan and started towards the front of the library once more. You felt a hand press to the small of your back to help you ease around the large trap door in the middle of the floor. The touch made your heart speed up and you were glad that Matt wasn’t there to hear it.

You didn’t need anyone else knowing just how far gone you still were over Billy Russo. It wasn’t fair.

The four of you made it to the front of the library and looked between the doors. Frank then turned to you to get your opinion.

“That way,” you said with a gesture to the door you all had entered through, “will lead to the office, a storage room, maybe a bedroom, and then some stairs. This way leads to a few bedrooms and the other stairs.”

It was a tough decision because none of you really knew what was around the corner. There were murderous prisoners, albeit a few less than before, and trap doors. Were there more traps waiting for you all?

“I say we check the office. We found two vials in the library, so maybe there’s more clues in there,” Karen said as she looked around for confirmation.

Unable to think of a better idea, all of you decided to go back the way you had come. Frank and Billy moved the things that were blocking the door. Frank went out first, followed by you and Karen. Billy brought up the rear once more.

You all made it to the office without incident, but it wasn’t that far away. The inside looked as if someone had come through and flicked through a few things before they ran out in a hurry. Maybe whoever that was that you had heard being chased had been interrupted while looking for something.

Just like in the library, the door was blocked once the four of you were in there. The office was smaller so you thankfully didn’t need Matt’s capabilities to tell you if anyone was in there. But once the room was sealed off, you all started to look in different corners of the room for another vial.

There was a smear of blood on the wall near where you were looking through some books. The blood looked fresh.

Was it someone you knew?

“Don’t think about it,” Billy said as he crossed over to look through a desk nearby.

“Think about what?” At his look, you let out a huff and turned away from him. “Oh, you’re a mind reader now?”

“No, but I know you well enough to know what’s on your mind.”

There was a pain in your chest that you associated with Billy. If he knew what was on your mind, if he really knew you, he never would have broken your heart. He would have known that you were falling for him and he wouldn’t have gone out with other women. He wouldn’t have told you that you weren’t right for him. He wouldn’t have–

You stumbled a bit, your hand coming out to prop yourself up against the wall. The pain in your chest expanded a bit and you frowned. It felt almost like indigestion, not heartbreak. Was dinner causing a problem?

That reminded you of the secret ingredient. The poison might be getting to you. 

“Y/N?”

You turned and caught Billy’s eye. He looked concerned as he took a step towards you, but you waved him off. You didn’t want to draw Frank or Karen’s attention right then. They didn’t need to worry about you being poisoned as the four of you fought for your lives.

You couldn’t let them think you were a liability.

“How long until sunrise? I just wanna know how long we have to get through this.”

Billy shrugged his shoulder as he went back to the desk.

“Seven twenty, give or take? It’s almost midnight now.”

Midnight? Where had the night gone? You had arrived at the manor at six. How was it possible that six hours had already passed? Although you were in the library for a while. And it had taken a long time for people to decide what to do once it was revealed that your sadistic host hadn’t been joking about any of it.

After about twenty minutes of looking, you all realized there weren’t any vials in the office. If there had been any to start with, they were gone now.

“Where to now?”

Once more the door was unblocked. Billy went first and you kept near to him, unable to stay away. You felt safe with him. It was something residual from your relationship, but how many times had he protected you tonight already? For whatever reason.

“Here,” you said as you pointed at a door. 

Billy opened it slowly and checked around. It was supposed to be a storage room but it was just a wide hallway that connected this side of the house to the other. The two of you walked through the doorway and started across the hallway, you only a few steps behind Billy.

In the distance you heard a clock begin to chime. On the third chime, you heard a scream from the hallway behind you. You and Billy turned to see Karen pulling a knife from her side, the sickening thud of Frank using his ax on the prisoner who had attacked them. 

“Karen!” You rushed forward back down the hallway to the door where she had stumbled out of sight. “Karen?”

You heard her say that she was okay on the eleventh chime. Then, before you got any further, the twelfth chime sounded. The moment it did, a large metal door slid down from the top of the door frame. It cut you off from Karen and Frank.

“No!” You slammed your fists against the metal, but it didn’t even rattle.

A loud sound echoed from the door, most likely Frank hitting the door with the ax. You thought you could hear his voice, a low rumble through the metal, but you couldn’t make out the words.

“It’s hopeless,” Billy said as he put his hand on your shoulder, “you’re not making it through that. Come on, maybe we can get back through one of the other rooms.”

“But Karen–” you began but Billy grabbed your wrists and turned you to face him.

“I know she was hurt, but she’s with Frankie. He’s not gonna let anything happen to her. And with those two together, I’m more worried about the prisoners. Now c’mon, let’s keep moving.”

At least you weren’t alone. You didn’t think you could do this alone.

You and Billy stayed close to each other as you came out into the other hallway. It was empty and neither of you could hear anything.

“We could go to the library, try to cross there,” Billy said as he looked down the way to the library.

“You blocked the door for this side,” you reminded him as you gestured with your fireplace poker. “And I’m confident that you and I wouldn’t be able to open the door alone.”

“Shit,” he breathed. Then he looked at you with a wry smile. “So what’s on this side again?”

The two of you started down the rest of the hallway towards what you were pretty sure was a bedroom. 

Of course the thought of being alone in a bedroom with Billy was just about as terrifying as being stuck in a house with two dozen murderous escaped prisoners. You just wouldn’t say that to him.

But that did make you think of something else.

“You said that you entered the raffle because of me. What did you mean?”

Billy froze for a second before he opened the door. The room was empty so the two of you went in. He shut the door and leaned against it.

“You should have told me.”

That came out of nowhere. You turned to face Billy, both of your hands tight on the length of the poker you still held.

“Told you what? What are you talking about?”

He shook his head and looked away from you. When he looked back at you, you found yourself nearly sucked in by those dark eyes.

“I heard you that night. You were on the phone with your mom and you told her you were falling in love with me. But you should have told me.”

The poker fell to the floor and you jumped at the sound it made when it connected. You bent down to pick it up, using the moment to take a deep breath.

“Wait, so you heard me and you think I should have told you that I was falling for you, but… you cheated on me Billy.”

It was all too much. You were trapped in a murder house with your ex and he was talking about you falling for him. If you knew your night was going to be even half as bad as this, you would have torn that invitation to pieces.

“I didn’t… you said when we started to see each other that you didn’t know if you could be with a guy long term that was in such a dangerous line of work. I thought that meant we were going to be casual.”

Casual. You still had a box of the belongings he had left at your place. And he possibly had your belongings still. Including your favorite bra which you had left at his place.

“So we’re together, having sex and going on dates for almost a year, and you never thought to ask me what we were instead of just assuming and… and breaking my heart? You realize how crazy that sounds, right?”

Billy laughed and ran his free hand over his face. His knuckles were bruised and the cuff of his jacket was stained with blood.

“You didn’t want long term with me because of Anvil and I wasn’t going to just leave the company I created. I figured… figured you’d leave anyways. You falling for me wasn’t going to work if you resented what I did for a living.” Billy leaned back against the door, shaking his head. “I’ve never had this before Y/N. I’ve never wanted it before. But then all of a sudden I have you and then when I start to fall, I figured it was time for me to leave before I do something I regret.”

You let out a laugh. Your legs felt weak so you sank down on the bed. Was the weakness from the poison or just from Billy’s declaration? That he was falling for you at the same time that you were falling for him. And now here it was, six months later and you could barely be in his presence without remembering how it felt to be in his arms.

“I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry, but we both fucked up,” he said as he pushed away from the door, crossing over to sit on the bed beside you. “You should have told me how you felt and I shouldn’t have assumed anything. But it’s a little late to go back in time and do it over.”

That was the truth. 

“And depending on how tonight goes, we might not get that chance anyways.”

You said it with a laugh, feeling a lead weight settle in your stomach as you finally admitted that you might not make it out of this house. Just as you started to shake your head, Billy grabbed your chin and made you face him.

“Don’t talk like that. Don’t talk like you’re not gonna get out of this house. We’re both getting out of here. And once we do, I’m going to take you to breakfast and then I’m going to take you to my place. After we sleep for forty eight hours, we’re gonna try again.”

It was the words that you had longed to hear. Well, not all of the words, but trying again? In the dark of night, you had dreamed about those words. You had wondered what it’d be like to hear them from Billy. An apology and the chance to try again? 

All you had to do was survive.

You opened your mouth to say something but instead your teeth began to chatter. Billy raised one hand to press the back against your forehead and then cursed.

“You’re burning up,” he said as he tilted your head up to check your pupils.

“Which is odd because I’m so cold,” you said as you rubbed uselessly at your arms.

Billy pulled off his suit jacket and wrapped it around you. Then he swore and stood up, pacing a short distance in front of you.

“You gave the vial to Murdock and the poison is affecting you already. Fuck.”

If you were already having this many symptoms, you weren’t sure that you could make it to sunrise. Instead of saying that to Billy, because you were sure he already knew, you reached out and grabbed his wrist.

“Sit with me for a little bit? Then we can search the room for a vial.”

You weren’t giving up hope, you refused to do that. Billy nodded before he joined you back on the bed, his shoulder pressed against yours. He gently pulled you into his chest and you closed your eyes as you rested your head on his shoulder.

You’d almost forgotten how good it felt to be held by him.

After a little while of being held, you finally pulled away from Billy. The two of you looked around the room, but there weren’t many places things could be hidden. Once you were in agreement that there was nothing else in the room, Billy went back to the door. He gestured for you to wait as he opened the door and stepped into the hallway.

Almost immediately he swung his crowbar, the thing crashing into the top part of a prisoner who launched himself at Billy. The other man had a knife, a long blade that shone under the hallway lights. Billy surged forward with the crowbar again. He did something complicated when the man swung the knife out, his hand grabbing the wrist of the prisoner and twirling the two of them around. It gave him leverage and movement to plunge the knife into the man’s throat.

You looked away from the blood, but that didn’t stop you from hearing the man gurgle, choking on blood. 

“You’re a crime scene tech,” Billy said as he stepped into your view, the bowie knife tucked under his belt, “you telling me you haven’t seen worse than that?”

You let out a helpless laugh as you twisted the fireplace poker in your hands.

“The crime is finished when I’m on scene,” you reminded him as you stepped around the feet of the man, careful not to look at the carnage, “not being committed.”

Billy kept you at his side, keeping his attention focused on the surroundings. The two of you cleared the next few rooms in much the same way but nothing was found. 

As you walked down the hall, you stepped on something and heard a faint click. You barely had a moment to register the sound before you were being tackled to the floor. On your back with Billy pressed on top of you, you heard a rush of air above you. Your eyes peered over his shoulder to see that some sort of pick ax had swung down. 

If Billy hadn’t tackled you, the ax would have gone into your chest.

“Thank you,” you breathed as you turned to catch Billy’s eyes. 

He was staring down at you with a strange look in his eyes. You opened your mouth to ask if he was okay, but you didn’t have a chance. He leaned down and captured your lips in a kiss, his mouth moving along yours desperately. Your hand went to his neck to pull him in closer, desperate and ignoring the need to breathe. The way his tongue moved over yours and the feel of his hands on your body were better than you remembered.

Except you were on the floor in a house where people wanted to kill you. You pulled away with a laugh, your hand dropping to cover your eyes. 

“What’s funny about this?”

You moved your hand to meet Billy’s eyes, seeing him grin down at you.

“Are you kidding? We’re being hunted by murderous escaped prisoners, we’re both poisoned, and we’re lying on the ground making out like teenagers. You realize if this was a horror movie, we’d both die right now?”

Billy laughed and leaned in to give you another quick kiss before he got off of you. He carefully helped you up and then handed you the poker that you had dropped.

The ax hung in the middle of the hallway. Billy grabbed the thing and pulled on the mechanism, shaking his head.

“It’s welded to the mechanism, can’t take it down.”

“Well where to next? Up to the third floor or back down to the first?”

Billy looked back down the long hall the two of you had moved through. Then he looked in the direction of the stairs.

“Let’s head up. What’s up there?”

“Bedrooms on all four sides. In the middle was a large room with paintings and statues. It was the architect’s favorite room.”

He checked the ground to see the trap you had stepped on so that he could identify if there was another one. He looked up at you and raised an eyebrow.

“I’m sure the architect’s favorite room has plenty of traps. We’ll avoid that if we can help it.”

The two of you went down the rest of the hall to the stairs, careful of where you stepped. You noticed more blood on the stairs but Billy once again told you not to think about it.

Up the stairs, the two of you made your way to the first room. It was more grand than the ones on the second floor. Both of you looked over the room just like the others, but there was nothing to be found. And then the next one. And the next one.

“It’ll take hours to search all these rooms,” Billy said as he looked down the hall. There were probably only three rooms left on this hall, but there were still three other halls of rooms. “We don’t have that kind of time.”

“Do you have plans or something? I’m pretty sure all we have is time,” you joked as you leaned against the wall, your hand going to your chest where you could feel your heart racing.

“You don’t have that kind of time,” Billy said, coming to your side and checking your pulse. “Where’s this room with the paintings? There has to be at least one vial in there.”

It would be a hidden door. You explained to Billy the general way it worked, that you’d press on one side and the other would open. Then both of you moved along the innermost wall to try to find the one that would be a hidden door.

There was a line on one of the walls that didn’t look natural. You followed it up and then stepped so that you were beside it. One hand on the wall, you used a little pressure. There was a click and then the wall seemed to swing open soundlessly.

Billy was at your side in an instant, knife raised as he entered the room first. Satisfied that at least there wasn’t someone lying in wait, you followed him.

The wall rushed closed behind the two of you, but it didn’t matter. You were frozen as you looked at the room. There were hundreds of portraits and statues in the room. 

But that meant hundreds of chances to find a vial, so you weren’t discouraged.

“How long until sunrise?”

Billy looked at his watch and frowned.

“It’s almost three so we still have at least four more hours.”

Four hours. And with your symptoms progressing, you probably had half that.

“Let’s get started.”

The two of you stayed close to one another as you made your way through the first portraits. Some of them were just paintings, nothing special about them. A few swung around to reveal a different painting on the backside. One or two pulled out to reveal a hidden cabinet, but there wasn’t anything in any of the cabinets that you checked.

Billy stayed close to you for protection, but you thought it might also be for comfort. Now that the two of you were on the same page, you didn’t want to be separated from him either. 

You’d spent six months hating him but you’d been wrong. While you wouldn’t be able to start where you had left off, you thought that starting over was a good possibility. And that kiss in the hallway told you what you already knew—you were still very attracted to Billy. And at least he seemed to still be attracted to you.

He had been falling for you. The thought made you giddy. He had been falling for you and while yes, what came next was stupid and could have been avoided if either of you had been able to talk about your feelings, but that wasn’t something you could change.

What’s done is done. But now you change what happens next.

Billy was inspecting a statue, his back to you as he looked it over. You watched his hands move to the base where he felt around for something.

“I think this might have a catch,” he said over his shoulder.

You opened your mouth to reply, but all you could do is gasp as a hand clapped around your mouth as you were yanked backwards. The portrait shut in front of you, separating you from the portrait room. Separating you from Billy.

You swung out wildly, the fireplace poker nearly catching the person who held you.

“Calm down, it’s just me,” a somewhat familiar voice said through a grimace, “it’s Dex.”

Dex? You settled down until he let you go. Once he did, you yanked yourself away from him and took a few steps back towards the hidden door you had just been pulled through. You could hear Billy banging on the portrait, trying to find a way in.

“What are you doing? Why–why did you take me?”

Dex scoffed as he gestured at you.

“You’re sick, the poison is getting to you. I noticed it earlier and knew I needed to get you alone. Get you away from him.”

Him? Get you away from Billy? You shook your head and turned to the portrait, your hands seeking out the mechanism to open it.

“Let me out of here Dex. Billy is probably terrified for me right now.”

You were sick and abducted; Billy would be beyond terrified and straight into furious. Something told you that he would tear this house down brick by brick to get you back, and his constant yells to bring you back supported that idea.

“He’s dangerous Y/N. You don’t know what he’s capable of.”

Except you did know. You’d known from the start, way before tonight. It had been the reason you’d been so unsure at first. He was a Marine, he ran a private security firm, he was skilled and yes, dangerous. But he wasn’t a danger to you. And while you could worry that something might happen to him one day, tonight proved that no one was safe. 

And he had protected you tonight. 

“I know what he’s capable of Dex, he’s my… boyfriend. We broke up but we’re together again. Now let me… out.”

You had turned around to face him to ask him to let you out, but you noticed that he was holding a vial in the air. Your chest hurt from the adrenaline and you were starting to have trouble breathing. You needed that vial. 

“Can I…?”

You reached out for it, but Dex threw it onto the ground and let it shatter. You jumped back and your back thumped against the portrait. 

“Why did you do that? You said you knew I’m sick. That could have cured me!”

He shook his head as he pulled something out from behind his back. It was a knife. He held it loosely at his side, not pointing it at you.

“You were nice and sweet. I thought you might be someone I could count on, someone I could get to know,” he said as he paced in the small room. He pointed his knife at the portrait he had pulled you from and shook his head harder, his eyes going a little wide. “He is dangerous. You shouldn’t be with him. He’s exactly the type of person that Rawlins meant to bring here. Not you, you shouldn’t be here.”

You had seen a few people have a nervous break, but this didn’t look like one. This was more like an unhinged person not hiding that they were unhinged. This was like seeing a completely different person wearing Dex’s face. It was…

Wait.

“Rawlins? Did you… the man that brought us here?”

Dex’s eyes were wide as he looked at you.

“Yeah, he told us his name before the tour. The guy that arranged this all.”

You thought about it again, playing it over in your head. You knew for a fact that the man hadn’t given his name because you had thought it was strange.

But there was something else that you remembered now. You started to walk in the opposite direction since Dex was coming closer to you.

“The papers said that the prison transfer was supposed to be guarded by the FBI, but that there had been an issue with car that was following the bus.” You swallowed as you held the fireplace poker a little tighter. “And you recently resigned from the FBI.”

Dex rotated the knife in his hand. And a grin started to spread over his lips.

“You’re clever. You could have made it through the night.”

He raised the knife up and started towards you. He only got two steps before the portrait slid open. Dex turned in an instant and threw his knife. You watched as the blade imbedded itself in Billy’s shoulder. Then Dex rushed towards Billy. 

Billy had his own knife held up. As Dex threw himself forward at Billy, the knife was knocked out of Billy’s hand. Not like this, you told yourself as you watched the two men grapple.

And then you moved. You started to swing but you remembered Billy’s words. Instead you thrust it forward. The momentum of your movement plus Billy, who had seen you coming and had pushed Dex backwards, the tip of the poker speared through Dex’s back. He let out a scream and stumbled backwards, but Billy was on him in a fluid move. He pulled the knife from his shoulder and slid it across Dex’s throat, cutting the scream off at the source.

You looked away as the body hit the floor.

“Y/N? Y/N are you okay?” Hands were on your face as you were pulled out of the little hidden room. “Talk to me. Did he hurt you? Are you okay?”

You closed your eyes and leaned forward until your forehead could rest against Billy’s shoulder.

“I’m so dizzy and tired,” you admitted as you felt your body sag a bit. “He had a vial but he crushed it when… I guess when I picked you over him.”

Billy pulled away, but not far. He reached into his pocket and lifted something up for you to see. It was two vials of the antidote. 

“Found them in the statue right before you were taken,” he said as he pressed one into your hand. “Come on, drink it. It might take time to kick in and we need to get somewhere safe until sunrise.”

You nodded and twisted off the cap. You held it up to your lips but froze as you thought about it.

“This man is twisted, messed up in the head. What if this isn’t a cure? What if it’s more poison?”

Billy nodded and unscrewed the top of the other vial. He raised it to you and you realized what he meant. Both of you would drink from the vials. Then either you would both be cured or you’d both die.

“This is some Romeo and Juliet shit,” you mumbled with a bit of a smile before both of you drained your vials.

Once that was done, both of you left the room with the portraits. Billy kept his knife and handed you the crowbar since you weren’t getting your poker back.

“Should we just hole up in one of these bedrooms until sunrise? For safety,” you added with a roll of your eyes as Billy grinned at you.

“Let’s get back downstairs. That’s where the others would have gone if they found vials. And we can check on Murdock and Nelson.”

He guided you down the hall and down the stairs. In the hallway on the second floor, you saw someone standing there. Except… they weren’t standing. 

One of the prisoners had been pushed onto the pick ax that you had triggered. Either it had been triggered again or someone had impaled him there. Billy moved so that you were against the wall as the two of you moved past the body. 

Further down the hallway you passed by the library doors. They were opened. Another prisoner was there with blood all over his face. It looked like his head had been crushed.

“Come on, one more floor,” Billy said as he guided you away.

Once on the first floor, Billy and you found more bodies. This time it included the bodies of the man and woman who had left the viewing room when you first found out that this was a trap. They hadn’t made it far it seemed.

It was your turn to guide Billy. He said to go back to the library on the first floor so you took him the quickest route. At one of the doors, you knocked and called out in a soft voice that it was you and Billy. No one answered and you tried the knob, but the door was blocked.

“What now?”

Before either of you had a chance to make a plan, you heard something scrape across the door. Billy moved to stand in front of you just in case, but the door swung open to reveal Frank.

“Jesus,” he said as he tugged you in first, then Billy, “we were starting to worry.”

As Billy and Frank put the bookcase back in front of the door, you looked around the room.

Karen was leaning against Foggy’s shoulder, her hand on her side. Matt was nearby, pacing. Trish, Luke, and Jessica were on couches nearby, all of them looking worse for wear.

Granted you probably didn’t look too good yourself. You were pretty sure you had blood splattered on your face.

“Where’s the blond guy? Anyone see him?”

Billy put his knife on the table before he wrapped his arm around your waist.

“He was the murderer. Sounded like the guy that brought us all here must have known him or paid him, I don’t know. But he’s been taken care of,” you added as you leaned your head against Billy’s shoulder.

“We have a few extra vials,” Jessica said as she pointed to them on the table nearby. “Trish took one within the first hour after we left and she’s fine now. Murdock said we’re all cured.”

You sagged even more in Billy’s shoulders. Matt came over and did his thing, smiling when he was sure that both of you were cured as well.

“At least that was true,” you said as you slumped into the couch with Billy on one side and Karen on the other. You checked her side and then grabbed Billy’s hand. “How long until sunrise?”

“Roughly an hour,” Frank said from where he was pacing. “Now we just gotta hope he didn’t lie about letting us out at sunrise.”

You didn’t think he was lying. But that did make you think of something else.

“What’s going to happen to us? We’ll have to tell the cops what happened here. Can we… will we go to jail?”

“For killing escaped prisoners who were trying to kill us while we were locked in a creepy mansion?” Trish scoffed and leaned against Jessica’s shoulder a bit. “I’d like to see them try.”

Billy tugged you against his chest a bit.

“Try to rest. I’ll keep you safe,” he whispered into your ear as you leaned against him.

And you knew he would.

------

There was what sounded a bit like a stampede right around when Billy said sunrise was there. Frank peered out through the door and confirmed what most of you suspected.

“Front door is open. Looks like all of the prisoners just took off.”

You all stepped out of the library and went towards the door. As the group got there, someone came out of the corner room right off the foyer.

“So you are the lucky survivors,” he grumbled, obviously dissatisfied that so many of you survived. “There are eleven vials of the antidote in case some of you didn’t get yours. And of course you’re all free to leave.”

“What’s to stop us from turning you in… Rawlins?”

The man turned to you with surprise in his eyes. Then he shook his head.

“I guess that explains why Dex isn’t here. I offered him a large amount of money if he survived the night. Guess I won’t have to pay up. And I’m not worried about you turning me in. They’ll never find me once you are all off the property. I’ll never spend a night in jail.”

Having the man’s full attention on you made you feel like your skin was crawling, but you stood up straighter. You had been scared for your life all night. You had faced death and come out into the sunlight. You weren’t going to be intimidated by this small man.

“You’re right. You’ll never spend a night in jail.”

Rawlins looked confused for a split second. But before he could spew any other bullshit, Billy snuck up behind him and rammed the bowie knife under his chin and up through his head. You looked away and closed your eyes, but you didn’t feel sick this time.

You felt safe.

“Someone find a phone and call the cops. Let’s get this over with.”

Arms wrapped around you. You turned and buried your face in Billy’s shoulder.

“So you said breakfast and then not letting me out of your sight for forty eight hours, right?”

Billy laughed and brushed his lips against your cheek.

“At least forty eight hours. Probably more.”

You smiled and tightened your hold on him. The events of the night before would haunt you for a long time, but if Billy was beside you? Well then you’d know you were safe.

“That sounds good to me.”

X

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[robinlestrange]

Something a little different this week - it’s not Strike based!

Broken Stones

Chapter One Detective Inspector Gemma Shepherd shoved the last of the contents of her locker into an overflowing Ikea bag. The rustling, bright blue plastic seemed incongruous in the staff room at New Scotland Yard, and for the first time since she’d made her application to take a twelve-month sabbatical from the force, she felt distinctly uneasy about her decision.She had begun her career with the Met as an eager eighteen-year-old, fresh from A-levels, fiercely determined that she would catch the all bad guys and change the world. She’d been equally resolute to embark upon a career that would enable her to leave home as soon as possible, if the truth be known, but the bad guys were her main reason for joining. She’d grown up with T J Hooker, Chips and Miami Vice. Then there was the Bill and Dempsey and Makepeace who had adorned the walls in her bedroom for several months during the later stages of middle school. She’d even managed to convince her mum to let her have her hair cut from waist length to a chin length bob with a blunt fringe, just like her fictional detective heroine.And just like Harriet Makepeace, she’d fallen for her colleague, except they didn’t quite manage the happy ending.  *     *      * As she approached Detective Chief Inspector Andy Clarke’s office, she watched his eyes flicker in her direction, and saw him pick up the phone, indicating to her with a swivel of his eyes and a nod of his head that she should take a seat just outside.She bit her tongue slightly to assuage the urge to visibly roll her eyes back at him. She was damned if she’d give him the satisfaction of getting a reaction out of her. It was bad enough that the timing of her sabbatical had coincided with his appointment as her senior officer. “You still hanging around?” DS Tim Eldridge asked as he passed by on his way to the photocopier. “Thought you’d be out of here and down the pub like a rat up a drainpipe.” He glanced through the glass wall of the office behind and smiled sympathetically. “Keeping you waiting is he?” “Yep,” she pursed her lips, “I’ll be there as soon as I’ve handed in my Oyster and badge. You’re coming right?” “Of course. Ennis will be along later and Vince and Hammond are going to meet us when they get off at eight o’clock. Not tempted to invite His Lordship then?” he nodded in the direction of DCI Clarke. “Not a snowballs,” Gemma responded, to which Eldridge laughed, having known he would get exactly that reaction, if not something even ruder. DCI Clarke was not a popular man.Naturally it was at that precise moment that he appeared, having finished his phone call. “DI Shepherd – come in.” Gemma followed him into the office and sat down immediately opposite him, rather than waiting to be asked as she would normally with a superior officer. He eyed her with a combination of mild amusement and thinly veiled hostility, his sharp features more hawk like than ever, his cold, blue gaze almost palpable. “So, I need to run through a few things with you before you get on your way. You won’t mind that though will you,” he paused for effect, “…being as you’re so good at running?” Gemma refused to break eye contact.“Thank you,” she replied, turning his barbed comment into a compliment, “Here’s my badge and card.” She pushed a small padded envelope across the table. He opened it immediately and made a show of thoroughly checking the contents. For God’s sake! “DS Shepherd, you’ve applied for a 12-month sabbatical for the purposes of study and personal development which has been granted on the basis of your previous twenty-five years service. You understand that this period will be unpaid and will not count towards your pensionable service. You cannot work in a similar role during the sabbatical period and you will not accrue any annual leave during this time.” “The sabbatical period will terminate on 31st March 2020. You understand that your current position will not be held open for you to return to and that you will therefore be expected to begin the redeployment process and paperwork by 1st October 2019 in order that you are back in an appropriate post on 1st April 2020. Do you have any questions?” “No.” She was determined to give him no reason to prolong this meeting any more than was absolutely necessary but could almost hear his brain turning over, trying to grasp something, anything, that would enable him to have the last word. “Right, off you go then.” The words were friendly, the tone was anything but. Still, Gemma welcomed the opportunity to leave and was on her feet and halfway to the door before he spoke again. “I must admit I’m surprised at your decision.” She stopped in her tracks and turned to look at him, an automatic response borne of common decency and politeness, rather than any actual desire to engage in further conversation. She let out a barely stifled sigh of resignation and decided she may as well get it over with. “Really. And why’s that?” “You’ve always been so bloody stubborn. I thought I’d be stuck with you until one or both of us retired. Mind you, you ran away from your responsibilities as a mother and a wife, I suppose it was inevitable you’d run away from the job eventually,” he paused, performing a slow head to toe examination of her appearance that made her want to throw up. “Or perhaps it’s not the job you’re running from?” he smirked, “How long has it been now Gemma, eight years? Isn’t it about time you moved on? It’s not as if you had problems on that front when we were married.” She stood in silent appraisal of the man she had once promised to love and honour, the man who had fathered her only child, and wondered how on earth they had gone from those levels of intimacy to an animosity so intense it was like she’d never known him any other way. It was as though they had always hated each other on a level so deep it was almost primal. She took half a dozen slow, deliberate steps across and leant on his desk, bringing her eyes level with his. “May I remind you, DCI Clarke, that you’ve seen the dates on my sabbatical application, and you are therefore well aware that my decision to take a career break has precisely fuck all to do with your appointment, and whether or not I’m on sabbatical, I can still make a formal complaint about your bringing personal grievances into the workplace…” She paused for a split second, unsure whether to call him on what was bothering her most. “As for my parenting skills, remind me? When was the last time you saw our daughter?” She didn’t give him a chance to reply, simply raised herself to her full five feet seven inches, gave him a final, withering look and walked out of his office and onto Victoria Embankment, where she took a sharp right turn and headed, with an immense sense of relief, to the pub. *     *      * By ten o’clock the table around which Gemma and her colleagues sat was a chaotic mess of empty bottles and glasses. They’d ordered a few sharing platters between them, which were nowhere near adequate to mop up the amount of alcohol that had been consumed, particularly by those without a shift the following day. Tim Eldridge had just returned from the bar and set down a full round of Café Patron shots, when the laughing crowd became aware of a tall, unsmiling figure looming silently over their table, and their chatter ceased in relay like a tumbling line of dominoes. Gemma was the last person to become aware of the new arrival and turned around to find herself looking straight at her ex-husband. “Oh, do sod off, you weren’t invited for a reason.” She was on sabbatical now, he no longer had any power over her and she no longer felt any need to even attempt civility. “I’m not here to join you, I just need to speak to you for a minute.” She looked him over, eyes slightly heavy with intoxication, resentful of the fact that his appearance was bound to ruin her night. “Seriously? Can’t it wait until like, next April?” she laughed. “It’s a private matter,” he replied tersely, “Come outside with me for a minute and then I’ll go.” She recalled his appraisal of her in his office earlier, the veiled reference to her sex life, or lack thereof, and felt herself rapidly sobering up. “If you’ve anything you need to say to me, you can say it here.” She knew he would see the challenge as her being difficult and uncooperative. As far as she was concerned it was simply self-preservation. “Fine, have it your way,” he replied coolly. “We’ve had a call from Sussex Police. Oscar’s dead.”

[i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend]

Perfect Fit ~ Bucky x Reader Oneshot

A/N; Hey lovelies! So ya’ll can thank @supermusicallee for this fluff, because her tags on a post literally got stuck in my head and I had to fic it. So here we are. Thanks, doll! (Also I did it with Bucky instead of Seb. Hope that’s alright!) 

Inspiration tags at the end of the fic. 

Summary: You and your best friend Bucky get stuck at a wedding dress store waiting for Nat. When you can’t keep your eyes off a dress, Bucky suggests you try it on. 

Characters/Pairings: Bucky x Reader 

Warnings: Language, tooth rotting fluff

Summary: 918

“What are we doing here again?” Bucky whined as he slumped further down on the couch.

“We are being supportive friends,” you reminded him as you inspected the wall of dresses.  

“But I thought Nat’s whole thing was that she wanted to go to that place in New York and be on TV.”

“It is. She has an appointment next month.”

“So, what is the point of today?”

“Because Nat does not want to be and I quote, ‘that annoying bitch who has no idea what she wants’.”

Bucky snorted as he rolled his eyes.

“So the point is to not find the dress, but to find all the wrong dresses?”

“The point is to get an idea of shape and style and color.”

“Color?” he gaped.

“Yeah. What?”

“Isn’t it going to be white?”

“Most likely,” you giggled. “But it could be blush or nude. And even if it is white, you have to decide whether you want a brighter white or a warmer white.”

“I need a drink.”

“Oh don’t be dramatic,” you reprimanded. “We’re here for Nat so behave.”

“I will. Where is she anyways?”

“Running late. She had to finish up some paper work. She’ll be here soon.”

“And what are we supposed to do in the mean time?”

“Well, I’m going to take advantage of this time and pick out a few options. You can help or you can sulk,” you challenged.

“Fine,” he huffed, pushing himself to his feet. “Where do we start?”

“Since it’s Nat I’m going with the more form fitting dresses.”

“Lead the way.”

You spent the next thirty minutes picking out a variety of style dresses for Nat to try on. Most were her typical elegant but sexy style, but you wanted to throw in a few surprises to help her narrow it down.

That was how you found yourself in the ball gown section, transfixed by one particular dress.

“Y/n, doll? Where’d you go?” Bucky called from the next row.

“Over here, Buck,” you called back, still distracted.

“That one’s pretty. But I don’t think Nat would ever try it on.”

You hadn’t been considering it for Nat.

“Oh, I know. I just…” you trailed off, pulling your gaze away.

“Why don’t you try it on, doll?” Bucky suggested quietly.

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Hello, my name is Carol. Can I help you, my dears?”

You both looked over at the older saleswoman who was smiling.

“Yes, she would like to try this one on,” Bucky lied before you could speak.

“Oh wonderful. Let’s get you set up in a dressing room. You can go wait on the couch, young man.”

Bucky nodded and headed back towards the main floor, while she ushered you into the back. You tried to protest but it was no use. Before you knew it, you were clipped into the dress.

“You look beautiful.”

You were speechless as you stared at your reflection.

“It’s… perfect.”

Suddenly you wished that all this was real.

“Do you want to show your young man out there? Or are you saving it until the day of?”

“Oh, he can see it,” you shrugged.

“Then let’s go,” she beamed, helping you lift the front of the skirt, while she gathered the back.

 Bucky was playing with his phone when you stepped onto the pedestal. You only spent a few moments looking at your reflection before turning for his opinion.

His jaw was slack as he stared at you.

You worried your bottom lip as you waited for any sort of comment, but all that escaped was an awed “wow”.

“Is silence a good sign with him?” Carol asked.

“I don’t know. He’s never been silent before,” you giggled. “Earth to Bucky. James,” you called when all else failed.

That seemed to catch his attention and he snapped his jaw shut.

“Sorry, doll. You’re just… breathtaking. You’ve never looked more beautiful.”

You blushed at the compliment, unable to meet his intense gaze.

“What are you thinking, y/n? Is it a contender?”

You scrambled to come up with a believable flaw in the dress since you were too embarrassed to admit that you were single.

“Well, I’m just worried about dancing,” You lied. “It’s kinda big.”

“It does take a bit of practice. Why don’t you take it for a spin?” She gestured to the open swath of floor to your right.

“Oh, that’s…”

“A wonderful idea. Thank you, Carol.” Bucky practically leapt to his feet, shrugging out of his leather jacket leaving him in just his black button down.

He extended his hand to you and without thinking, you placed your hand in his. He led you away from the mirrors into the small boutique Carol had pointed out and pulled you into his arms, pressing you firmly to his chest.

Bucky led you in a decent facsimile of a waltz, maintaining his piercing gaze; his blue eyes seemed to sparkle as you spun. Talk about breathtaking.  

When your steps slowed and fell into a comfortable swaying motion, Bucky finally spoke.

“You are perfect, doll.”

You wanted to scoff, but sincerity coated every word.

“You would know. Your picture is next to the word in the dictionary.”

He chuckled and leaned his forehead against yours and without thinking you leaned in and pressed your lips to his. He didn’t moved to deepen it, but when you pulled away he followed with a kiss of his own.

“Can I take you on a date tonight, doll?” he asked, grinning.

“Absolutely.”

A/n: So yeah, I hope you enjoyed. This is just an excuse to write fluff. And I could see it so clearly. Thanks again @supermusicallee I hope this did your daydream justice. 

Tags I used for inspiration: 

#dfghthat's true tho#today i watched it and spent an hour thinking about sebastiandfsgd#seb and you are best friends#one day another friend of yours leaves you two alone in the store#that she was going to choose her wedding dress but she couldn't make it blabla#so you and seb are waiting for her to arrive#you get bored#and you both decide to ry something#the moment he sees you in a gown is magical#and you are also speechled because how on earth can a man be this perfect?#then a lady comes -ofc- and thinks you are a couple and tells you to try dancing with the dress#so that that won't be a problem in the wedding#you interrupt her to say that you are not actually a couple but guess wHAT?#yeah you guessed it#seb thanks her and says that it's a great idea#and then you start dancing and he holds you tight#you gasp for breath he looks so deep in your eyes#he says that you are perfect#and you tell that it's funny coming from him because _he_ is the definition of perfection#and-------#yeah#i've thought about it a lot -_-

Tag Lists Are Open (Please send an ask!) 

Bucky/Sebastian Tag List @waywardpumpkin @sadanddeadsoul @captain-maaarvel @caylast @isaxhorror @run-your-cleverboy @ria132love @mbsgr @hereisanapplepie @pierrxt-uta @thejourneyneverendsx @stevieboyharrington @catsandbooksinafarawayplace

Marvel Tag List @hdthdthdt   @sophiatomlinson23 @misty-panther @supermusicallee @scarlettsoldier @acupofhotlatte @slender--spirit @petitesmate

Permanent Tag List @iamwarrenspeace @jayzayy @bexboo616 @neoqueen306 @santheweird @rowenaravencalw @buckitybarnes @prxttybirdz @sergeantjbuckybarnes @captainsamwlsn @broitsmydick @ailynalonso15 @nyxveracity @queenoftrash97 @walkingtravesty97 @lamia-maizat @memyselfandmaddox @lowkeybuckyb @whiskey2011 @averyrogers83 @lovingpeterparker @buckybarneshairpullingkink @beansparker @coralphantomninja @xxashy999xx @thisismysecrethappyplace @ravennightingaleandavatempus @paintballkid711 @whosmarisaaarw

[neshabeingchildish]

Hello Stranger Part 3

At this point, I don't even feel like redoing the final authors notes. Thank y'all all. Edit: So, okay... I’m feeling better, so lemme say that I am trying out deadlines and discipline for ff WIPs. This one I planned as a three parter. So, hopefully you like the conclusion.

Hello Stranger Part 3

Henry had woke up on the couch with a start! He had been transported into the past while he slept, and was right at that moment where he let Charlotte walk out of his life. That day he didn't know he wouldn't see her for 10 years. Now that he did, every time she walked away was a nightmare. He checked his phone. He'd only gotten about 2 hours of sleep. But he still got up and headed straight to the florist shop.

Making floral arrangements gave him some peace of mind. The decision to open a real store occupy his time and set appointments for people had been one of his best ideas. Most people ordered online anyway. And it was nothing to hire a few people to just man the shop, for when he couldn't be there because of his real work as Captain Danger.

None of the staff knew of his lifestyle, nor did they have access to the Man Caves. Schwoz reprogrammed the elevator to be code activated, and they replaced a few of the damaged caves with other burrows that Henry needed. His gym, his spa, a man cave for Schwoz, one for Jasper, and Ray's retirement home… which was currently the active Man Cave, because he didn't have friends or plans but didn't want to work as Captain Man anymore.

Henry's biggest concern about Ray retiring was that he didn't want Ray to "Jason Todd" him. "If you want to relinquish Captain Man, I take up the mantle-hood for sure and for good. Schwoz works for the Man Cave, meaning me and you can't have the right or even the ability to take anything over from me." Ray had agreed to that, only because he assumed Henry would be lax about it.

Sometimes he would try to threaten Schwoz to get something his way, but Henry had given Schwoz the option to escape Ray's threats by grounding him in the Man Cave until he calmed down. The first time was a doozy. The fight that Ray and Henry had when he came to see if he'd cooled off was their biggest yet. At the end of the conversation, Henry clarified, "As long as I'm in charge of the Man Cave, you don't get to attack, threaten or violate Schwoz or Jasper. They work for me and it is a hostile work environment that I won't allow on my watch. If you can't deal with that, Schwoz will bring Halley back to babysit you, if need be." He had his tough dad voice that he sometimes had to use with his own dad and when Ray stormed to his retirement cave, he locked him out of the Man Cave for a while,just in case.

But, seeing Charlotte and recalling their argument, his words, and recollection of examples of her truth over the years… he had to make it right. He built her a bouquet and sent it to where the search engine told him her office was. The high point of his day,nope.. his decade, was seeing the reaction she posted and all of the replies.

Followers trying to guess who the mystery man was. All the heart eyes and jealous drooling. The compliments on the bouquet itself because he appreciated respect for his craftsmanship.

.

Taking things slow, Charlotte soon realized meant that Henry needed them to work at his pace. Not necessarily slow in general, but he seemed more at ease whenever he could make the first move. She could handle that. She didn't like to chase anyway, so that was preferred to her.

They were spending time together, going on dates, talking about themselves and their worlds, and not dwelling on the fight and forgiveness between them - just the future. They were helping Jasper with wedding plans, both silently thinking and wondering what their own might look like if that was ever an option. Charlotte absolutely lived for Jasper's engagement ring and whenever they went to help him pick out Don's wedding ring, she couldn't help but notice Henry looking at various other ones. So, just for laughs, she said, "Be sure to consider that it's either an ethically sourced diamond, if not just crystals, something that says she's sift and dainty, but also don't get it twisted, she's a god-damned boss."

Henry blushed and giggled, "I don't even know what that means but I'll repeat it for the vendor if I'm ever in the market. I'm more of a 4 c's, reputable jeweler with genuine care for the buyer… I feel like just like with food or with flowers, the gift of a ring has to have all of the steps outlined in love. Like… I agree with ethically sourcing, and raise you ethically selecting. The jeweler needs to help the fiance find the perfect ring for their spouse,to feel that energy in that little piece of jewelry. But also, the jewelry has to consent. She has to call you and let you know that she's willing to be that symbol for the rest of her existence…" He looked at a particular ring whenever he said that. Charlotte definitely peeped it. It was perfect. It was probably the most visible representation of her desire for a ring that she had ever seen.

Whenever Henry caught her staring at it with him, he noted the expression in her eyes. She blinked it away and smiled, saying, "Well, Henry Hart, you and some ring are going to make some person… to be honest, if anybody proposed to me having said some stuff like that, they'd better have the entire ceremony in their pocket because how do you not just marry them on the spot?" He laughed.

Jasper fussed from across the store, "I really am happy that you found love, and I'ma let you finish, but I'M the one trying to buy a ring right now!"

Both friends blushed and, and bumbled over their words, and got back to business. Henry gestured to the jeweler at the ring when Charlotte was devoting her visible attention to Jasper. He didn't know when or if he'd ever actually use it, but seeing that look in her eyes, he certainly couldn't just leave it behind… not that he was letting either of his friends see him take it today. There were so many conversations and milestones before… he could even fathom breaching that subject.

Months passed of something that he couldn't put into words. Charlotte gave him the space and speed he needed all of the time and didn't seem pressed about it. They were going to be each other's dates to the wedding, even though they were both actually in the wedding as part of Jasper's wedding party, and he was simply floating on air lately.

Three months into their relationship, he was finally ready to be sexual with her. He'd explained the first time that they got physically intimate that he "didn't really get around to gaining any experience." It took quick work for her not to facially respond to Henry admitting to her that he was not only a virgin but sort of a prude. "I just couldn't for a long time, then after a while, it was pretty embarrassing and I've never met anybody or gotten close to anybody that I could be vulnerable enough to admit this to. I hope you don't think I'm as much of a loser as I feel right now."

She collected him and strummed his face, "There's no reason for either of us to feel like you're a loser. So you haven't had sex yet. So what? There's plenty of people who haven't for various reasons and all of them are valid. The reasons and the people."

The months of kissing, cuddling, and watching Henry figure out what he liked and loved and wanted was really satisfying for her. She had forgotten what it was like to have longer journeys than a fling and sometimes forgotten how it felt to feel something for the person that she was physically connecting with. Besides that, by the time he was ready for her, she was working with a combination of 10 years of him longing, 28 years of him waiting, and the 15 years of hero physical training and working that had his body magnificent to her. Plus, she was super in love with him at that point. It was hands down the best she had ever had and as they grew, it just kept getting better.

For him, it was the fulfillment of everything that he had waited for. Charlotte was always careful not to make him feel upset or unsure. She didn't make him feel inadequate. She was clear and concise about what she could do for and to him, always making certain that he was comfortable and consenting. It was way more beautiful than he thought his first time would be. He expected her to look annoyed when he fumbled or chuckle uncontrollably when he asked what he felt like were stupid questions. She was the perfect partner though - equal portions companion and friend.

It was like he'd been living in a bubble. It was like he forgot that real life had a way of bursting bubbles. It was like he forgot that just because Ray wasn't around her, Ray didn't exist on the same plane. He had definitely forgotten that Ray had agreed to give Jasper away…

.

From the moment that he and Charlotte came into contact, Ray was pretty much at her neck. The thing about it was that they hadn’t seen each other in 10 years and the last time that he’d done this to him, she had told him about himself and didn’t take it back nor regret it a single moment. So, on this day, she certainly wasn’t going to have any of his shit.

“Ah, if it isn’t world renown problem solver Charlotte. Are you here to make sure nobody has any fun at Jasper’s wedding?”

Henry sighed threw his head back. Why hadn’t he considered that Charlotte and Ray would have bad blood.

“Oh, look - Ray Manbabychester. Riding fifty and still going on fifteen,” she commented right back. He fumed and she smiled and added, “Great to see you, Old Man.”

“I don’t look a day over 35,” he said, and while he did still look pretty good for his age, she couldn’t resist.

“Maybe not, but you don’t act a day over 5. Moving on to rehearsal, because we do want this to go on schedule, right Jasper?” Jasper fought off laughter as he nodded. For the rest of the rehearsal, Ray and Charlotte had it out. He’d try to get under her skin and she’d redirect him to what he could kiss. By the end of it, she announced to everyone, “Okay. People that we all claim to love are getting married on tomorrow. Hundreds of thousands of dollars, hundreds of hours, and immeasurable dedication has been given to this event. If I am the fun police, I’ll be that, because I’ll be damned, if anyone,” she looked directly at Ray, “jeopardizes Jasper’s special day.”

“Bridesmaid of Buzzkill, everyone!” Ray cheered.

“That doesn’t even make sense, you MASSIVE idiot!” she fussed, finally losing her cool. “I can’t believe that you’re still exactly the same as you always were...” Her voice was high pitched and screeching and she was honestly ready to sock him in the face, now thinking about the fact that he was pretty much the reason that she and Henry hadn’t spoken in as long as they hadn’t and she knew that even though Henry never said it that he probably spent that time bad mouthing her, just like he was currently doing. And now that she was thinking about it, she was a little bit mad that Henry hadn’t defended her today, not once and was getting ready to drag his ass for that too, as soon as she got him alone, but he injected himself into her fussing at Ray.

“Dude, you’ve been on her all day, and everybody is exhausted with it. Just stop.”

Ray scoffed. “Don’t. Don’t do that. Look, when I was an 18 year old kid, I let that stuff fly, but you know what she means to me and even if you don’t like her or don’t respect her, I’m not gonna just stand here while you bash her. It’s offensive to her, to me, and to Jasper, who we’re all here for… And you know… His spouse-to-be too…”

Ray folded his arms, “You’re siding with her after everything that she did to you?”

“Everything she…?” Henry clenched his fists and said to Jasper, “We’re gonna go, okay?” Jasper nodded. Ray moped as he stomped out of the building and Charlotte tried to keep steam from exploding from her ears. Henry gently pulled her aside, shook his head and said, “I am so sorry that I let that go on for so long. I promise, I was gonna get him together when he first jumped off, but you seemed like you had it and I didn’t think he was getting to you until that part. I would’ve protected you if I thought you needed it..”

She nodded, “I did have it at first. Then, he just kept taking jabs and I thought about all of the years that I put up with that kind of stuff from him. I thought about all of the realizations that I came to in my self discovery of how toxic and traumatic a lot of his verbal and emotional abuse was and the times that he literally almost killed me multiple times while I was a kid at a part time job. Then, I thought about everything that he’s done to you, and I just snapped. I know you love him. I know that I don’t fully understand your relationship. I just…"

"You're right. You were then and you are now. It took me awhile to realize it, that over the years as I was coming into myself, I saw examples and I know that you were spot on about a lot of it, even if I couldn't handle hearing it yet. I do love him and I always will, but I'm not letting those feelings get in between you and me ever again.I'm still working on me and I'm working on him. I'm working on us. I let my loyalty to Ray make us strangers, once. We were never supposed to be that. Look, I know that you don't believe in "the one" or forever, but whatever it is that you think about journeys, I think that you have to know that some of those don't end until you die. And that's what I want, with you. This journey until I'm done."

She leaned into him with a smile and said, "Henry Hart, that sounded suspiciously like a proposal."

"Well, it was definitely the set up to one. Certainly can't ask any time this weekend. Do you realize the level of Bridesgroomzilla that Jasper would unleash?"

"Oh, he would kill us."

"Precisely, and I'm not in any position to die, now that I've finally found my reason for living."

It would be an utter lie to suggest that he didn't frequently make her gush. This eas above and beyond that, though it was interrupted when Ray yelled from the door, "Henry, are we leaving or not???"

Henry groaned, forced a smile and said through his teeth, "He might wind up getting killed."

"Yeah, by Jasper if he keeps it up," she said and they parted ways. A couple of hugs and kisses later, that is. "Good luck getting Gramps settled."

He met up with Ray, scolding him while he pouted and Charlotte waved at them and watched them bicker from the window of the venue. Ray was a lot, but Henry said that he was working on him, on them,so maybe there was hope for him yet.

As for her hope, she was staring at him. He looked back, smiled and the world stopped for a while. Maybe she hadn't believed in soul mates because at the time, hers was a stranger and they were estranged. She didn't know that it could ever be this way. But, it was and her next journey just might be the longest. The stranger was gone now and her soul mate had entered the journey with her and he wanted that journey… for life.

The End.

[someonefromthere]

Hey! I saw that you were taking requests and I was wondering if you could do a gavin x rk900 carnival “date”? Like it was originally an investigation but they get sidetracked. Bonus points for a ferris wheel kiss 😘

Hey, buddy, I’m sorry it took so long, but everything fell on me this month and there’s so little time before the school starts that I honestly don’t know how I’m gonna make it all work. Anyway, writing this fic was a great, great fun and I just couldn’t stop occasionally adding a little pieces here and there, it was even rewritten once! But I can proudly post it now and hope I delivered - I changed it from an investigation to a stakeout, because it matched better. Hope you enjoy!

Once more time, a huge thank you for @pointeful for helping me with the facts about travelling carnivals - I live in Europe and have never been to that kind of park, and she was there for me when I asked for her help - go check her out!

The fic on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15787071

It turned out Nines actually liked things. It occurred to him some time after the red wall had fallen and his mind had cleared. The thought didn’t hit him all of a sudden, in any poetic way, no. The revelation slowly creeped its way to him, encircling the lines of his code until his awareness hugged it back, and he understood. Deviants were capable of liking. He was too.

Crucial as it was, it was also simple. He liked the way a new loose tee shirt wrapped itself around his broad shoulders and hung freely from them, giving him a feeling of comfort. He liked windy days when a breeze would tousle his hair, and a soft sunrise light falling through the windows. He liked yellow and sunflowers, liked a floral shirt he once saw a little boy wearing, liked the sound of dogs breathing and droplets reaching metal window sills calmly. There were moments when he had to decide – did he like a body warmer more than a coat? Which brand of cologne should he purchase? Did he really felt like going on a walk or did he prefer staying inside? – but some of these preferences came up easily.He liked the smell of Gavin’s usual black coffee and the texture of a paper cup in his hand. He liked the scar on the bridge of his partner’s nose, the stormy grey of his eyes and the small smile the man would give him when he did or said something funny. It soothed him to find the familiar silhouette amongst the others, unknown, when they were on an investigation and the warm presence beside him when they sat in a car on a stakeout. He didn’t understand what it meant to be so strongly affected by these tiny things, but he liked it anyway. It made him feel more human.(Oh, if only CyberLife could see him now, the better Connor, the chance to save humanity, with his code full of feelings he couldn’t comprehend.)One of the things his memory held and shielded from the destructive world was the light on Gavin’s face as they entered a funfair that was supposed to be an area of the stakeout – the appointed place of a red ice dealer and his client. The carnival was full of children and their parents, and teenagers probably having their dates, and elders that came here to retrace their youth memories, and androids that recently discovered the idea of fun. Nines’ internal clock projected a few minutes after eight p.m., and the sky was deep dark by now, yet the crowds occupying the amusement park were still thick, not that the android minded.(He liked people. He liked to be among them.)Nines slipped his hands into the pockets of his lemon body warmer and glanced around, letting his lucid eyes linger on the swift attractions and colorful stalls. He tried not to scan everything around – Gavin didn’t really like it – and just concentrate on simply watching, but a couple notes and conclusions made their way to his vision. Most of these attractions weren’t safe. They were wobbly and set up in a rush, their structure weak. His calculations showed a relatively high probability of an accident, and as he had analyzed each one that happened to be in his area of sight, he decided not to let Gavin on any of them. (He didn’t like the thought of his partner getting hurt. The aspect of not liking was yet mostly unfamiliar, a brand new thing.)“We could have some fun before he arrives,” the android heard Gavin say and when his gaze floated to the man, he saw him looking around with a smile. A faint and not quite full, but it was there, drawing graceful wrinkles around Gavin’s lips and nose. Making Nines want to compliment on them. “I don’t think it’s a good idea,” he replied instead, brow furrowed. Obviously it wasn’t what he thought – it would be nice to spend more easy time with his partner, learn about his likes, but he also knew it wouldn’t be good for the stakeout. He’d get distracted, which was an effortless thing around Gavin. The man looked at him with an unimpressed expression on his face. “Do you have any updates on the suspect?”And although Nines knew what it gave rise to, he answered honestly. “No. Connor remains silent.” Truth it was, the connection with his predecessor stayed quiet and calm, no comments from RK800 sailing through it. Gavin nodded. “We don’t know when he’ll be here. It could be in ten minutes, or an hour. Come on. Maybe androids don’t get bored, but I surely do,” he mumbled and once again his eyes searched the rows of rides and mini-games booths. RK900 sighed and rolled his eyes – a manner he got after Lieutenant Anderson thanks to all those hours spent in his and Connor’s company – and waited patiently to see if Gavin was a fan of these sketchy roller-coasters and their cousins. Thankfully, he was not.He chose the closest mini-game – half-hidden under a striped, material roof, but illuminated by a set of star-shaped lights that gave the stall somewhat warm and magic look. A man that apparently owned it was somewhere in his forties and wore a joyful smile on his wrinkled face as he instructed a teenage boy with a blonde girl standing beside him how to play. Gavin rummaged through his back pockets in search of his wallet and Nines seized the opportunity to take a closer look at the game itself, his gaze immediately flying to the booth’s wall.Against it, three separate constructions made of milk jars stood, probably set to be targets of whatever game the man offered. They were situated quite neatly as for a human, so the short glass towers looked rather stable and placed within two meters from where the counter was, they seemed to be fair goals. It shouldn’t be difficult to throw off all nine jars that made up for one structure at once.As he finished his analysis, the teenager threw his first ball, the four others laying on the spot in front of him. He hit only one jar, smashing the adjacent two down with it, but the rest remained untouched. The situation repeated until almost the entire tower fell – one piece still standing proudly, seemingly laughing at the kid’s face, but he walked away satisfied nonetheless; the girl received a plush giraffe and gave him a peck in return. “Three, please,” Gavin said to the man and handed him a banknote. Nines eyed his partner, then the target. He should make it, if the calculations were correct.He did. Used all three balls to reach the goal, but the tower came down with a noise and the fair-haired man passed Gavin an elastic keychain with a sound sensor that activated a flashlight upon a whistle as a prize. Gavin snorted, lifting it and pretending to stick it to Nines’ arm. “I’m gonna glue it to you, so I won’t lose you,” he joked and the man behind the counter laughed loudly, looking at the android before bending down to pick the glass from the floor.“I’m gonna buy a chip and use GPS, so you won’t be able to run away,” Nines bit back, earning a noisy burst of laugh from the booth owner who accidentally hit the wall with his head and a shocked look from Gavin. Shocked and betrayed, he could describe it.Gavin shook his head, but said nothing, amusement playing around the corners of his lips. He pointed at Nines when the man appeared in their sight again. “Wonders of technology, huh?”The owner looked surprised, his gaze winging towards Nines’ temple as if to try and spot his LED; he didn’t though. It was long gone, making the android appear much more human than before which helped him in job-related activities.“Didn’t know it was one of them. You know, I think they’re better than most of humans, buddy. It applies to this one, too. You’re lucky.” The wink that followed the sentence made Gavin’s cheeks turn slightly pink for unknown reason.(Nines decided that he liked this color, too, in particular painted on his partner’s body.)“You want to play, pal?”He felt taken-aback by the question, but the man was still looking at him expectantly, waiting for an answer, so the android huffed a quiet yes. It seemed like it was normal for this stranger man to consider an android a living being, so similar to a human, and it made RK900’s artificial heart warm up. He wasn’t there when the revolution started and he barely remembered the end of it, but when he’d grasped his deviancy, he felt proud for his brothers and sisters to have fought their freedom and rights, and acceptance among mankind. “One, three or five?” The man asked. Nines looked at Gavin and saw a challenge in his eyes. Oh, he wouldn’t be himself if he hadn’t take it. “One,” he said, sliding a banknote down the counter, Gavin’s smirk and raised brow in his peripheral. The owner took it, handing him a single plastic ball that quickly ended up wrapped tightly by Nines’ fingers and aimed at a jar placed at the bottom, the one that seemed to hold the entire structure in place. The core. He directed the ball precisely at the opening and–“How did you even do it?” Gavin stared blankly at the spot where a moment ago the tower hovered. Now, the man owning the booth was cleaning up the mess Nines caused, and the android himself glanced proudly at his partner.“Can’t accept the fact that I’m better than you?” He teased, but slouched a bit to find himself on a comfortable level of Gavin’s eyes. The icy-eyed knew the man liked it when his partner wasn’t towering over him like “a fucking Empire State Building’s copy”, as Gavin once told him; besides, it was nice to watch him from close up. The imperfections on his skin were mose visible, the marks and small scars, beauty spots and everything that made him more Gavin, a unique individual Nines was happy to be friends with. (Nines presumably just liked Gavin. It was hard to admit, even for him, but he felt attached to him. The android was curious what would the man’s reaction be if the confession slipped out of his mouth.)Gavin snorted. “I’m all but surprised you reached the target. Should’ve clapped.” But he didn’t. He looked up instead and something in his grey eyes shifted, making Nines’ artificial heart warm up. “You’re great at this,” the fair-haired man commented when all three glass towers came back to life. “Here’s my offer: if you get rid of two more like this, you’ll win the main prize, huh? What do you say?”Nines’ gaze flickered to a shelf he didn’t have time to analyze before – a shelf and a row of hangers that supported a whole collection of toys. They varied in types, colors and sizes, some of them small and colorful such as dolls or pillows, the other bigger and pastel: teddy bears, basketball balls, even tee shirts with text overprints. The android’s attention was immediately struck by the largest teddy in a light hue of lilac that hung low, indicating it was nothing less than heavy. He liked it, the color ever so pretty and the toy itself looking plushy. “I’ll try.”The android wasn’t surprised that he made it with easiness, gathering a not-so-thin crowd around the stall – just a couple of teenagers that tried and failed not to look impressed by Nines’ precision when the next two balls landed perfectly where he sent them. The owner couldn’t be angry anyway, given the fact that Nines made him a great advertisement which caused the teens to play, too. He didn’t seem even a bit unhappy about a disappearance of the best prize his booth offered.Whereas Gavin shot the android the most furious glare he could afford from above the head of the lilac teddy bear he was holding.“What am I supposed to do with this thing?” He didn’t sound resentful – more like playful, though his face was mostly hidden behind the toy and Nines couldn’t make out any of the emotions that probably played on it. He simply smiled in return.

“Take it home. Consider it a gift.”“A gift that I’ll have to fucking drag all around the park, great.”“I think I don’t have to remind you that it was you who wanted to come here and play at first place.”“Robotic bastard.”Nines smirked, glancing around. They stayed in one place, near the previously visited booth, because of the weight and size of the prize – it wasn’t easy to carry him around, really. The teddy was nearly five feet tall which made him almost as tall as Gavin and the human was the one to hold it, so it looked ridiculously, at least to say. “You want to go somewhere else?” Nines asked and brought his gaze back to Gavin with a soft expression on his face. He risked a longer glance, putting down the details about him once again, just like he did those thousands times that never bored him. The crooked curve of the scar and the mole under his right eye, the meadow of freckles on his cheeks, the sharp line of his jaw. Everything that seemed important and unimportant to know; everything. “There was a game when I was younger, I‘m curious if it’s still a thing.”“Want me to search the map?”The android asked the question only out of politeness, already knowing Gavin’s response.“No. Let’s just look for it.”And so they did. Nines liked it better this way, too; it was much more nicer to walk around the carnival in silence than mechanically seek the information in the web like a computer. It made him feel and appear more human if he acted like one which he knew that made Gavin feel better. (He liked the looks his partner would give him after catching him doing some tics, even the nervous ones.)Nines almost felt guilty for letting Gavin carry the teddy bear for the entire walk – it surely didn’t tire him out, but very likely made him uncomfortable to have to peek out over the toy like a five-year-old. Almost. He could recall all the times when his partner was a little shit to him, so the current situation was a kind of revenge, even if he was more civil and wouldn’t sneer at the human the way he did at the beginning of their partnership. (Besides, the android liked that this way he had more possibilities to touch his partner: whether they were passing someone and Gavin didn’t notice them – that’s when Nines’ hand landed on the small of his back – or when he had to guide Gavin on the corners – the fingers around the man’s arm firm but gentle. Nothing able to bruise. Nearly caring.)The game Gavin talked about was still a thing, yes, and it made his face soften, causing the domino effect on Nines who smiled fondly, seeing the enchanting change in his human. The booth supporting the game held a large text consisting of luminous LED letters, each of them shining with a different color, which simply said Dart Game. It was hard for Nines to hold himself from looking it up in the web, but somehow he managed. He brushed his gaze over the stall – its wall was covered in small balloons that formed a colorful mosaic, three or more rows of metal tubes used as hangers for rather not big prizes hovering above it.“It’s simple, you see,” Gavin said, placing the lilac teddy bear on his shoes, careful not to drop it to the dirty ground. The android leaned in closer to him, using the need to hear him better as an excuse. He didn’t though. Gavin continued, “you get a prize of the same color as the balloon you hit. Got it?”“Sure.”Nines folded his arms on his chest, watching an adult man trying to aim at a green balloon placed at an uncomfortable angle. It was a difficult task, much more harder than aiming at a tower of jars if you wanted to actually hit a certain color. He could try it. “You playing?”The android shuffled a bit awkwardly, turning to look at Gavin. “Huh?”“I asked if you want to play.”“You don’t?”“It’s been a long time since I touched a dart, only would’ve made a fool of myself. By the way this,” he patted the teddy’s plushy head, “is enough for one night. But I don’t see why you shouldn’t play.”Nines watched as the man left, a little red-haired girl by his side holding a Minion toy. She looked at Gavin and his teddy curiously and smiled, and then surprisingly Gavin smiled back. Shyly but smiled, lips turned upwards and teeth barely bared. Beautifully. Nines could imagine the Software Instability warning that would’ve appear in his vision now if he was still a machine.“I’ll play.”The owner of the booth was clearly an android – it was hard to tell beside the fact that she had an LED blinking a steady blue on her temple. Nines knew some androids chose to keep theirs as a proud sign of who they were, just like Connor did; he was the one to explain the concept to his younger brother who only seemed confused about it. He didn’t like his own, didn’t like that it reflected his feelings and thoughts, so he got rid of it as soon as he gained consciousness. “Any color in particular you want to hit?” She asked when he lifted a dart, leaning over the counter with her elbow and half-observing Nines from under her long eyelashes. He shrugged. “Yellow. Or red, I guess.”

(Gavin’s favourite color was red. Gavin liked it.)“Make your mind, prick,” Nines heard his partner say quietly and impatiently from behind him. He smirked and aimed, and smoothly moved his hand so the dart made its way to a red balloon, a neighbour of three yellow ones. The android – no, the woman snapped her fingers.“You got it perfectly,” she remarked, grabbing a stool. “Which red thing you want?”Nines sent his gaze over the red section on the hangers, over the teddy bears and material dolls, and balls, and pillows.“That one.”And that way, Gavin ended up with a little Elmo teddy stuffed in the pocket of his leather jacket. “You won it. It’s your prize. You should keep it, why–”“Because I want to,” the android interrupted him as the made their way to a cotton candy stand. His partner shot him a glare to which he responded with a small smile. “I want you to keep it, is it so hard to understand? It’s a gift.”“But–”“No buts. Just shut the fuck up and get your goddamn unhealthy snack.”Gavin averted his gaze, pretending to be offended, but a short snicker escaped his mouth without his consent. It was a pleasant sound, cuter than Nines would admit.(The android liked it. Serenity looked good on his partner.)The lilac teddy bear ended up in Nines’ hands while Gavin’s became busy with a cloud of pink candy-floss of the biggest size. Soon, the colored sugar covered both corners of the man’s lips and his munching lured the android to reach with his fingers and tear a bit of the cotton candy, bringing it to his mouth to analyze.“What the fuck, man,” Gavin muttered, but didn’t even spare him a glance. He got used to it a long time ago, the teasing never ended though. No malice hid behind his words anymore, to Nines’ secret content.The sweet turned out as unhealthy as he initially predicted – overloaded with sugar as it was the only used ingredient, made with high temperature, and also very sweet – Nines couldn’t taste it (he wished he could though), yet his sensors caught the flavor quite fast. He knew that Gavin loved sweetness – he could eat donuts all day long if Nines didn’t intervene, which he rarely did. Consuming sweet food made Gavin happy, and the only thing Nines ever wanted was to see his human partner happy. If it didn’t collide with Gavin’s health, obviously.“Where do you want to go now?”The question made Nines halt and sharply spin his head to look down at Gavin. “What?”“Are your ears bugging or am I too quiet? Shall I fucking shout? Where do you want to go?”“I… I don’t know.” “Do you not find anything here worth attention? Not even a single booth or a roller-coaster? Look around.”The android had a remark about the attractions’ safety on the tip of his tongue, ready to spill it out just for his own sake, but something in the distance caught his eyes at the exact same moment. A huge, lit and moving circle. A ferris wheel, the web in his head whispered helpfully. It was beautiful and looked so magical – much more magical than the mini-game stalls that surrounded them. It didn’t stand out with safety, unfortunately, but if there was something he wanted to try, that was it. “The ferris wheel,” he repeated out loud, watching Gavin’s face change into something fond and sincere, and… Nines couldn’t seize it. It seemed too distant and unfamiliar, too messy for his neat programming. “Then let’s go and make your dreams come true,” the man joked with a slight tilt of his head and a ghost of smile. The wheel looked even more beautiful from close up when Gavin was busy buying them a few rounds and Nines could just stand, his head lifted and eyes focused on the warm lights that decorated the whole attraction. The movement was sluggish and soothing, and it made the android’s Thirium pump somewhat beat slower. “You gonna stand here all night or what?” Gavin asked, making his way to an open bench. The only response he got was a low I’m coming before Nines joined him, taking a seat beside him and placing the teddy on their feet.“If it falls, I will beat the shit out of you,” Gavin threatened with no harm and leaned down to make sure the toy was protected enough; apparently it wasn’t, because he lifted his leg and hooked it around the teddy bear tightly. Nines observed with a sympathetic smile and said nothing, lowering a metal plank that seemed to be used as a kind of protection from downfall. It wasn’t anything near solid – it could easily prevent a child from falling, but it wouldn’t be much of help if a grown man was in danger of it – yet it was better than nothing. The wheel resumed its calm course, sending their bodies into a lazy movement that would’ve send Nines’ LED a peaceful pulsating blue, similar to the one triggered by stasis, if he still had it. Maybe it wouldn’t have, after all – his right thigh was pressed to Gavin’s warm one, spreading something through his artificial skin. Something unknown, but not new. Something good. Distracting. (Nines’ objective was not to get distracted, and yet he found himself enjoying the contact like nothing else in his short deviant life.)“Do you sometimes think about the life you want to live?” Gavin asked when they reached the top and the wheel stopped again, a pair from one of the bottom benches leaving, replaced by another. Nines tore his gaze away from the breathtaking view on the city to look fully at his partner whose face was barely visible in the dim light. He could tell Gavin’s eyes were thoughtful though.“What do you mean?”“Everyone wants a different life than they have. Well, almost everyone. You know, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.”“I… I do not want a different life.” It was true, maybe too true for his taste. The wheel jerked to life again. “This is my place. In this precinct, on this position. I very much like what I do for a living and I’m surrounded by people that I’m mostly fond of. I don’t see why I would want to change it.”Gavin watched him for awhile before answering, a bit unsure. “You’re serious.”“Of course I am, Gavin. This is my place. Here. By your side.”It sent a strange jolt through the man who trembled and twitched his hands nervously. It seemed like he couldn’t take his eyes off of the android’s even if he wanted.“You’re better than this, you know that, right? Fowler assigned you to me, but it’s entirely your choice if you want to stay or move on. Nobody will say anything if you do. You’re not fucking tied to me, Nines. It’s not like… It’s not like I will be mad. Do what you want to do.”A crease appeared between the android’s eyes, the frown deepening with each word that fell out of Gavin’s mouth. “Do you want me gone?”“Of course not, Nines,” the man seemed to almost choke on the words, as if he was surprised that his partner would even think of that. “Of course I don’t want you gone. You’re the first person that didn’t dump me. The first partner that didn’t resign after a few months after being partnered with me. I don’t want anything more than to keep doing this, but I don’t want to force you to do the same just because I’m a selfish motherfu–”“When will you stop thinking like that of yourself? You may be rude and overaggressive, but you’re kind and charming when you want to, and you’re a good man, Gavin. You’re worth so much more than you give yourself credit.”It left Gavin speechless. Well, maybe not exactly, because he managed to mutter a very, very quiet bullshit before Nines had enough of his shit and simply said, “I like you.”It was true and painful. It was what triggered the android’s deviancy and what didn’t allow him to not give Gavin all his attention, not that he wanted to stop giving him anything. Nines liked him the most of all people – even more than Connor, actually. He liked him in a way that he couldn’t understand – in a way that maybe wasn’t just liking.Gavin looked at him with sadness and hope in his grey eyes, shifting a bit, not exactly withdrawing – the pressure of his thigh was still perceptible on the android’s leg, thankfully – but turning and ducking his head slightly. “Tell me you’re not joking and I’m not hallucinating, because I don’t think I can handle it if we take it a little further and you want to take it all back.”“I’m serious, Gavin. I like you. I don’t want to leave you unless you tell me to.”“Oh, hell no.”And then he laughed. Honest to God laughed. With his mouth open and teeth bared, eyes squinted, but focused on the android, his entire body trembling with the happy, even if a little bitter sound.Nines thought he’d never seen anything so beautiful.“I like you, too, tin can. Perhaps too much for my own good.”“What does that mean?” Nines eyes him, confused, observing the change in his features; happiness shifted into calmness, calmness into melancholy once again. It hurt.“You trust me, right?”Nines never trusted anyone as much as he trusted his partner. Maybe, if he tried, he could pretend he didn’t and the connection between them wasn’t real, but he didn’t think his pretending would ever look convincing. “I do.”First, a hand on his cheek, gentle and barely-there. It held him steady in one place, yet its force was so small he could easily break the contact if he wanted. He didn’t.Secondly, a hand on his thigh, not close to his knee, still far from his waist. Warm and heavy, laying there seemingly to assure the android that the human was never going anywhere. Thirdly, a little ragged, but soft lips on his own, a pressure telling Nines to tilt his head and adjust to a better angle. His eyes fell shut, his nose bumping slightly against another, soon coming back to rub against it tenderly. Gavin’s skin was rough under the android’s fingers, worn-out from years of hard work and strict lifestyle, but it felt perfect. Everything felt perfect in that moment, in that place.He let his tongue dart inside the man’s mouth, past his teeth to lick at his palate, earning a surprised yelp and a pleased moan mixed into one sound, and suddenly their proximity wasn’t enough. “I wasn’t made to do this. I’m sorry if I’m not good,” Nines whispered, barely moving away. Their lips brushed together when he spoke. “You’re good enough,” was the only response he got before Gavin rushed in to meet him in a slow kiss that sent non-existent goosebumps all over the android’s artificial skin. His sensors felt overloaded, and yet it wasn’t enough. He wanted more.He desired to feel more.The connection between him and Connor twinkled before a message rolled out from the other end.[The suspect’s in there. I shall inform you about his farther moves. Where are you?]Nines hesitated, pulling away to glance at Gavin. His partner watched him with an irritated question in his wide eyes and the android noted that their pupils were dilated.[We’re on the ferris wheel.][On the ferris wheel? Why?][Gavin wanted to have fun and told me to choose.]He mouthed Connor to Gavin, not wanting to break the precious silence that fell over them while the wheel finished its third round. The man rolled his eyes, but his swollen lips stretched out in a fond smile when he watched him.[Ah. OK. Anyway, the suspect’s with a young boy determined to be his oldest son, he’s heading to a roller-coaster in the center. I’ll let you know when he meets with a possible client. Stay tuned.][Thanks, Connor.]Nines dulled the line into the background, far enough to focus entirely on the man in front of him and near enough to hear it open. His fingers grazed Gavin’s hair on the nape of his neck.“We have some time before the suspect does anything notable,” he said in a flirtatious tone, watching as his partner grinned widely, the hand on his thigh moving just a little higher. It stopped low enough to not dare any biting comments, but the warmth definitely didn’t stop spreading.“What are you waiting for, then?”

[mochimim]

Spotlight

Genre: Fluff, ANGST, Celebrity! AU

Word count: 7.7k (my longest oneshot ever !!)

Pairing: Jimin x reader

Summary: The perfect guy, the imperfect celebrity

Warnings: Triggering topics - panic attack, thoughts of suicide

A/N: HELLO GUYS IM BACK WITH MY FIRST FIC IN QUITE A WHILE im so sorry tumblr deleted the post before this i haTE but it’s back so whooo !! this story is actually somewhat based on a personal experience, so I included a lot of personal thoughts and insights to try to make this better HAHAHAH but i hope yall like it !! i put in a lot of effort trying to write this fic and many BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS were shed but im finally done !! i really hold this story v close to myself because i actually felt all these things and i was a little delusional like the y/n in this fic !! please tell me how it was by dropping an ask into my inbox, both compliments and constructive criticism is good !! anyway besides this fic, im not yet done with dead leaves soRRY but feel free to leave me a request for the ending of chapter 7 (2nd last chapter !!) so drop me that asK ANYWAY IM RAMBLING AGAIN I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS FIC BYEEEEEE

"Miss, your interview is in less than 5 hours, are you sure that you want to be seen on national television with dog fur all over yourself?" Seulgi wrinkled her nose at me in disgust.

"Shut up Seulgi, I still have so much time," I flopped on my bed with my puppy on my chest. "And don't call me 'miss', I'm your younger sister. Don't be weird."

"You are the one who needs to shut up." She scoffed at me, but quickly started giggling and I joined in as well.

"No, but really, your stylist is waiting for you. What's his again? The cute one? Seok-min?" I let a small chuckle escape from my lips at her confusion.

"Seokjin," I got up and placed my puppy on the ground. "And take him. He's all yours." I cackled before sprinting out of my room, listening to her frustrated and embarrassed protests in glee.

"I will bet my entire career that you and Seulgi will get together by the end of this year." I mumbled to Seokjin as he handed me my outfit. He made a weird noise, probably thinking about the possibility.

"Yeah sure, I can hook it up." He said nonchalantly. I choked on my breath in utter horror and shock, I didn't think he would take me so seriously.

"Why are you making me wear something so pretty today?" I asked him as I got changed behind a curtain.

"What do you mean by 'pretty'? You look pretty every day." He said matter-of-factly, and I couldn't help but blush a little at his words.

"I'm not used to this. I can't rock dresses, full stop. I only look decent in a shirt and shorts." I sighed as I looked at myself in the mirror one last time before walking out to sit down in the makeup chair. "Where am I going later, anyway?"

"You're an Academy Award winner, a Grammy winner, and you still don't know where you're going after this. Unbelievable." He called the makeup girl over and crossed his arms. I furrowed my brows, wondering how he linked the three things together.

"You're going on national television, stupid. You're going to be interviewed by Park Jimin!" He exclaimed and threw his hands into the air, almost hitting the makeup girl in the face.

"Who?"

He gave a little gasp at my obliviousness. "Do you not watch the evening news? He's the presenter after that. He does all the celebrity news, he interviews them on radio as well. He's like Korea's very own Ryan Seacrest! Only more beautiful and younger, and did I mention beautiful?"

"Uh, so, does this give me a reason to re-dye my hair?" I murmured as the makeup girl put some bright red lipstick on me, not really caring about whoever Park Jimin was.

"You've already done your makeup, silly. You wouldn't want to ruin her masterpiece, would you?" He said, posing more of a statement than a question. "Thank you Irene." He tapped her on her back as she scuttled away in fear.

"I don't think her name is Irene," I squinted my eyes at my reflection in the mirror.

"Whatever, you're almost ready. Time for hair, time for me to do my magic." He whipped a comb out of the pocket of his pants. "We have no time for re-dying of hair. And I think that this pink hair suits you. Also, don't worry about the interview with Park Jimin later. It will be a walk in the ‘Park’!" I groaned at his very lame joke and he chuckled softly.

I tugged at the hem of my dress, trying to pull it lower.

"Seulgi, why do you look so nervous? I'm the one going out there." I asked her as she bit her neatly manicured nails.

"Look, I'm just worried for you, don't mess this up for m- for yourself, okay? Also, I'm going to be in the same room as Pa-"

Heads were turned as a man walked into the room. He looked confident and cool. He was very handsome, with a charm that seemed to go around the room. His cotton candy coloured hair looked like it took hours to style, his makeup flawless. He wore a suit that looked a little too tight, but it accentuated his muscular arms, so I wasn't complaining.

"Park Jimin-"

Stop being so shallow, maybe he's a dick.

And suddenly, I was being pushed into the set. And right into Park Jimin's arms.

"Cut!"

I heard someone yell, and I swear I heard the entire studio sigh in unison. I didn't realise that I was in the Park Jimin's arms until he pulled me up, and I dusted off my dress.

"Sorry." I bowed to him and ran off to the standby area.

"Could we do that walk in part again? Come in less violently, thanks." The mysterious voice ordered me, and I nodded at the instructions.

After coming out less violently, the rest of the interview went fairly well. I didn’t mention any embarrassing things that could expose me, but I did comment on our similar hair colours, which was enough awkward for one day.

“Hey, we have the same hair!” I blurted out just before he could ask me a question. He tilted his head and was silent for a moment, but quickly caught on and smiled at me. I stretched my hand out for a high-five, hoping that he wouldn’t leave me hanging, and he didn’t. He flashed me the brightest smile I’ve seen in a while and gave me a high-five.

“He has the most gorgeous smile. His eyes smile along with him, did you know? He literally radiated happiness, Seulgi! I can’t believe it!” I exclaimed to my sister as we were leaving the venue, but quickly stopped myself from getting too hysterical over someone I just met.

“He really is a charmer. I got the chills just standing next to him.” Seulgi smiled to herself, quite pleased that she was able to stand next to him, and then I realised all the hype over him. I was going to start watching the celebrity news show from now on. I was going to b-

“Wait!”

I felt someone tap on my back and I turned around.

To be face to face with Park Jimin.

My bodyguard was going to push him away when I stopped him. Jimin looked out-of-breath.

“S-sorry for disturbing y-you. But, w-would you like to g-go out for lunch tomorrow? For w-work purposes, of course.” He asked as he caught his breath. I looked at his panting form, and my heart doubled in size.

Stop thinking of those things.

“YES!” I yelled, startling both him and Seulgi, making them jump a little.

“But miss, tomorrow you have t-”

“Cancel it!” I beamed at the glowing boy in front of me while trying to wave away my sister.

“Uh, we can go another time if you’re bu-” He blushed a little, scratching the back of his head. My eyes widened and I immediately waved my hands frantically.

“No, no! It’s okay, tomorrow is fine. I’m sure it isn’t important.” I smiled at him again, and he reciprocated the happiness.

“Okay! Could I get your number?” He handed me his phone and I willingly took it from him, not minding that it had a bright pink phone case. I punched my numbers in and handed it back to him eagerly.

“Thanks! I’ll text you later. See you tomorrow!” He bowed to me and walked back into the studio. By then, I felt like I was going to explode.

“You know, you’re supposed to meet your father tomorrow. Are you sure you want to cancel?” Seulgi asked me cautiously. I stopped in my tracks, thinking of him.

Did l really have to choose between my father and Park Jimin?

“Cancel the lunch appointment.” I sighed after a long time of just standing there. My sister made a sound of disapproval, but I ignored her and walked back to the car.

Park Jimin.

I went to Google him when I got home.

Actor, Presenter, Singer, Dancer

He seems really cool.

His fans love him because of his bubbly personality and kind words.

Seems legit.

Was in a band called BTS and was internationally known. However, the band disbanded due to unknown reasons. Whether the members are still close is still unknown.

He was in a band? That’s so hot.

Are you sure you want to read Park Jimin fanfic?

I’ve never been more sure in my life.

But, before I could click “yes”, my phone buzzed in my pocket. My gasped and snatched the phone out a little too excitedly to be greeted with Jimin’s text message.

Jimin: hello! This is y/n right? It’s Park Jimin. Are you able to meet at the dog cafe in Gangnam tomorrow at 1? xx

I am literally going to cry.

“Yes!” I screamed at my phone and threw it onto my bed. I pumped my fists into the air in joy and threw myself onto my bed as well. “He texted me!”

The next hour was just me doing some intensive research on Jimin for ‘work purposes’, or at least that’s what I told my sister, until I realised that he didn’t text me back. I picked my phone off the bed and read the message again. And then, it dawned on me.

I was the one who didn’t text him back.

I cried out in horror and quickly typed out a short message to reply him and not seem rude.

Me: hello Jimin! Yep tmr at 1 is gud HAHAHAHA c u !!!!

Too informal?

Me: hello Jimin. Tomorrow at 1pm at the dog cafe will be splendid. Thank you for your time.

Too formal?

Me: hello Jimin! Yeah tomorrow at 1 will be good! Thanks and see you there!

I guess that will do.

And I pressed send, waiting for him to reply like I expected him to send me a message at the exact same moment I sent him one.

[read at 6:45pm]

Oh, okay then. I’ll see him tomorrow anyway.

And I spent the rest of my evening thinking about him.

“So, is my dear y/n going on a date now?” Seokjin teased me as I looked for a dress.

“I think you’re a little too nosy today. Why are you peeking into my personal life? And I’m hanging out with a friend.” I shook my head. “Do you have an outfit for me to wear today? His- I mean their favourite colour is blue, so I want to wear blue.”

“So, you just diss me, and expect me to help you to impress some trick shot guy that might break your heart?” He crossed his arms.

“Ugh, okay then. There isn’t any, so I’m just gonna take this weird purple dress.” I sighed, in hopes of winning him over using reverse psychology.

“There are jeans in the bottom right drawer. And there are nice shirts somewhere in the top shelf I think.” Seokjin whispered to me, as if he didn’t want to get caught trying to help me. I giggled at him and went to search for the clothes. I picked out a simple white shirt and ripped jeans.

“Thank you, and sorry for the trouble.” I did a half-bow to him, actually relieved that he was here to help me. A small smile danced on his lips and I took it as a “you’re welcome” and walked out to get changed.

“Jimin! Hello!” I exclaimed as I got out of the car and saw him standing outside the cafe. He looked stunning as hell, with a long sleeved white sweater and black jeans that hugged his legs that were much prettier than my own, completed with a green beanie on his head.

“Oh, hello y/n. Are you ready to go in?” He flashed me his signature smile, and I was at a loss for words yet again. All I could muster was a slight nod, and he took my hand and led me into the cafe.

Park. Jimin. Is. Holding. My. Hand.

As we entered the place, we were greeted by at least a million puppies, nipping and yapping at our feet. Or at least I was. The dogs didn’t go near Jimin, strangely enough. I squealed at the cute puppies and picked some up to cuddle. Jimin tried picking one up, but it kind of growled at him, so he playfully growled back at it, making me giggle.

Many people in the cafe stared at Jimin and I, and I wasn’t sure whether it was because of Jimin’s good looks, his fame, my actor status or the fact that we were together. BUt it didn’t really bother me, I was just happy that I was with him at that moment.

With a puppy snoring on my lap and Jimin holding my hand in his, it was bliss.

“This one’s name is Bubbles, Jimin. He’s super cute, look at his face!” I whispered to him, afraid to wake the sleeping pup. He nodded fondly and peered at the dog’s face.

“He actually looks like my friend’s dog. I like him.” He nodded in approval and I smiled at him.

“I wonder why the puppies aren’t coming to you. Maybe I should trust them.” I jokingly said with a small wink. He chuckled at my teasing words and picked a dog up.

“What secret do you know about me? Huh?” He lowered his voice, trying to seem manly. But, the dog squirmed in his hands, so he put it down and it scuttled away.

“So, you’re an actress right? I’ve seen you in some dramas. You’re really good.” He murmured to me, and I swear I’ve never blushed so hard.

“Uh, i’m not very good. I just get casted in things for publicity, I guess.” I looked away from him in shame, not really wanting to talk about my career. “But how about you, Mr. actor-slash-singer-slash-presenter-slash-dancer? You’re multi-talented. That’s really cool.”

“I’m not that talented, come on. You’re-” he laughed at me, but was interrupted by a girl tapping on his shoulder. The girl looked about 15, with plaited hair and braces, and she held a notebook with Jimin’s face on it.

“Oppa-ya, could you sign this for me please?” She tilted her head to the side, making me want to laugh at her cute attempt of winning him over. He stared at the girl for a little while, and then magically whipped a pen out of thin air and signed her book. The girl was obviously really happy, as she squealed with joy when he handed the book back to her, and she went away skipping.

“I think that we should leave here and we can go to my house to chill out. It’s about a five minute walk from here. What do you say?” He suggested, and I willingly nodded, reluctantly carrying the sleeping puppy on my lap to his bed, and we left.

“Today’s weather is really nice, don’t you think?” I said it mostly to myself, but he hummed in response. I felt his hand brush against mine, and I laced my fingers in his. My cheeks were burning, but I could blame that on the weather.

And there we were, walking down Gangnam Street, ignoring all the surprised netizens and flashing of cameras. His expression looked a little strained, and I felt like mine was too, but when I looked at him all my worries melted away like ice cream on a hot summer day. He looked so beautiful in the bright sunlight, contrary to the sharp wind that tangled my hair and made me look like I was going very red.

We walked all the way until we reached a very tall, very modern building, and into a lift that took us to the penthouse. Once I stepped into his apartment, my mouth hung open. I couldn’t think straight looking at all that expensive looking furniture, and the five other beautiful men sitting on a couch that looked like it was bought with all the money I had earned.

“Ah, there they are! I’d like to meet my friends.” He squeezed my hand, and I had never been more glad that his seater covered his hands, because my hands were sweating.

It’s only been one date, and he’s introducing his friends to me now? This is going a little too fast, but I shouldn’t say anything.

“Guys, this is y/n. Remember her from that drama Temptation? Yeah, she was playing the young Park Jiwoo.” He asked the five men, and all of them sat up and nodded their heads.

“Y/n, the one in blue is Namjoon-hyung, the one in black is Yoongi-hyung, the one in green is Hoseok-hyung, the one in white is Jungkook and the other one in black is Taehyung.” He introduced, and I gave a polite bow to all of them. They all nodded to me, besides Taehyung and Jungkook who gave me an enthusiastic “hello!” each.

“I’m so sorry, I actually have to leave for a little bit, I have to settle some stuff with the producer of my evening show. I’ll only be gone for two hours at most. Would you like to stay here, or do you want me to take you home right now?” He said, not looking up from his phone.

“Um, I think I can stay here and wait for you,” I beamed at him, and he looked up at me and beamed back.

“Great! Guys, please treat her well and don’t scare her away.” He turned on his heels and came dangerously close to my face. “I’ll see you in a bit, okay?” He whispered to me, and his lips brushed my cheek. I felt a tingle run down my spine and I nodded furiously. And he smirked and left.

I stood awkwardly at the entrance of the apartment, facing the five guys. They gave me a small nod, and gestured for me to sit with them. I gulped and moved my wooden legs to sit on the comfiest couch i’ve ever sat on.

“So, y/n, how old are you? Are you a 95 liner like Jiminie?” The one in blue asked me. Namjoon, was it?

“Uh, I-i’m a 95 liner, yeah.” I stuttered, trying to hide my increasing nerves.

“Don’t be nervous, we don’t bite,” Hoseok chuckled, and I felt the need to smile along.

“So, are you and hyung going to get married? I like you, you seem really nice!” Jungkook blurted out, earning him a light smack on his arm by one of his hyungs.

“Um,” I coughed, expressing my nervousness. “We’ve only been on one date, so I don’t so as of now.”

“I think you guys are making her nervous, you guys should go now.” Yoongi told the rest in a monotonous voice. They all grumbled, but did as he said, and I said my silent thanks to Yoongi for helping me. He stayed on the couch, though, but I didn’t really mind.

“I’m Yoongi, if you forgot.” I nodded at him, confident that his name was the easiest to remember. “You don’t need to call me Oppa, if that was what you were thinking.” He clarified, and even though I wasn’t thinking about that, I nodded along.

After that awkward first words, we started talking. About our likes, dislikes, favourite things and least favourite things. He was surprisingly easy to talk to, and surprisingly relatable as well. We had many things in common, and we mostly talked about music. He liked rap and hip hop, so did I. I even let him listen to some of my songs that I had recorded for fun, and he gave me a stamp of approval.

“Wow, should I be honoured that THE Min Yoongi gave me a thumbs up on my joke song?” I giggled, and he flashed me a gummy smile that I never thought that I would ever see.

“Yes, yes you should.”

But, before I could show Yoongi my other joke song, Jimin came in from the lift and sat beside me.

“You seem really comfortable here, that’s a good sign. Would you like to stay for dinner? I think Jungkook is cooking glazed sweet potatoes, and it’s really an interesting experience to eat that.” He asked me, looking at me with those gorgeous eyes and I immediately nodded without thinking.

“Great, I’ll be in the kitchen for a bit. I’ll be back.” His hand lingered on my arm a little too long, and I felt my blush creeping up to my cheeks again. Yoongi had also gotten up to go to the bathroom, so I was alone in the living room.

I took my phone out to check the time, when I saw the twenty-one missed calls and fifteen messages Seulgi had sent me. I sighed and rubbed my temples, worrying that Seulgi was going to overworry. I called her back and held my breath, preparing myself for a big scolding from her. She was working for me, but I was still her younger sister.

“Unnie?” I whispered into the phone, and I heard her cry out in frustration.

“First, you don’t answer my calls, and now you’re suddenly calling me unnie? I was so worried for you! You just ignored my calls, and I had to do everything myself! Where are you right now? I’ll send someone to pick you up.”

“Seulgi, please. I’m fine. I’m at Jimin’s house, it’s fine! But, can I stay for dinner? Please, they asked and I already said yes.” I pleaded into the phone, not caring that Jimin had entered the room and sat on the space next to me.

“You have so much to do tonight, what are you doing being at his house for so long? You have to send emails to-”

“Yay, thanks Seulgi! I love you very much! I’ll be home before ten and I’ll have plenty of time to finish up my work thank you! See you, I love you!” I dragged out my last word before hanging up on her and exhaling very loudly. Jimin pet my head, and I instinctively leaned towards him and lay my head on his shoulder.

“Ewww~ You guys have only been on one date, and you’re already so lovey-dovey.” Jungkook came into the room wearing an apron that said “kiss the kook” and a very disgusted expression. I was going to comment on the younger’s cute words, but Jimin beat me to it.

“Date? What date?”

I felt my heart break into two.

He said it with such confusion, that I couldn’t tell whether he was joking or not.

Jungkook’s eyes widened, making him look more like a child. He blinked at us awkwardly for a moment, but quickly came to his senses. “Dinner is ready, y’all can come now.”

Jimin got up and pulled me to my feet, and we made our way to the dining room together, but I suddenly lost all appetite.

He didn’t see today as a date? Then what did he think it was?

But, I pushed all my negative thoughts aside to be replaced by the glorious food in front of me. Not only could he ‘kook’, he could also cook.

We spent dinner talking about everything we could think of, and trying to pry the sweet potatoes off the plate. It was Jungkook’s special dish when everyone was sad or during a happy occasion, they told me, and I smiled at them.

After that day, Jimin and I became closer and closer. I ignored his words that hurt me before, and I tried to move on.

Maybe he just was trying to protect his dignity.

He texted a lot, and we called and video called a lot as well. We talked about everything, from good things to bad things, but we were never at a lost for words. We never got bored while talking, nor did we run out of things to say. Conversation flowed really well, and sometimes I felt myself wondering why I had ever doubted him for being a dick.

I talked a lot to Yoongi, as well. He was someone I could talk to comfortably without it getting too awkward. Our similar taste in music usually took the wheel in our conversations, we recommended music to each other and that strengthened our friendship.

Jimin and I went on a few more ‘dates’, or whatever he thought they were. We went out to eat, I went to his house to watch a romantic movie, we went shopping together, and many more things that I really cherished.

There were too many news articles about us to ignore, but Jimin didn’t seem to be bothered.

“It’s going to die out soon if we don’t address it, it’ll be okay.” He flashed that award-winning eye smile again, winning me over in a snap of a finger.

The news articles didn’t bother me, though. It was the number of news articles surrounded around our “pending relationship”. All of them said the same thing, all talking about how people saw us around together, holding hands and asking if the fans thought we would be a good couple or not. Most of the comments said we would be the cutest celebrity couple, and I didn’t deny them.

We were busy, I had a new drama that I was working on and he had his presenting career, but we made it work. We carved out time in between shoots to see each other, and even if we couldn’t see each other in person, we would call or text.

And every day, I fell more and more in love with him.

I couldn’t help it, it just happened. It hit me one day out of the blue. I didn’t just like him, I loved him. He brought so much happiness into my life, and introduced me to so many people that I wouldn’t ever trade for the world. I felt like if I ever let him go, all these things would suddenly disappear from my life, leaving me stranded in my own pit of loneliness and self-pity.

I also clung onto the hope that he would love me back.

Even when everything came crashing down.

So, I was close to two people in his friend group, Taehyung and Yoongi, and I really trusted the both of them. So, I told them my secret.

“I think i’m in love with Jimin.”

Taehyung spat his drink out onto the coffee table in front of him.

“Huh? What do you mean? You love Jimin? Are you sure this isn’t infatuation?” He spluttered out, probably very shocked at my sudden confession. Yoongi held his cam and cool exterior, so i didn’t really know what he was thinking at the moment.

“I don’t think it’s infatuation. Every time I go near him, or think of him, or talk to him, my heart begins to flutter. It’s not under my control, if I could I would definitely not want to feel like this, but I do. When we talk, I get excited over small things. I can feel it in my bones, Tae. have you ever felt this way about a woman?”

“Not about a woman,” he blushed and turned to face the back.

“Y/n-ah. Congrats on finding love and everything, but here’s the thing: do you want a relationship with him? Otherwise, all this is irrelevant.” He bluntly stated, making Taehyung shift in his seat and making me feel a little uneasy.

He had put it harshly, but he was right. So what if I found love but didn’t want a relationship? Did I really want to spend a long time, possibly the rest of my life, with this man?

“Yeah, I guess I do.”

“Okay, then good for you.” Yoongi curtly nodded and went back to scrolling through his phone. Taehyung seemed a little off, but quickly whipped out his phone and started scrolling too.

Was it so wrong that I loved him?

Me: Jimin-ah!I have about 2 hrs before our next shoot tgt! Would you like to come over or I can go over as well :^)

Jimin ❤️: busy.

Me: We can go to the venue together :^)

Jimin ❤️: can’t. sorry.

And that’s when it all came crashing down.

He hadn’t been like this before, why was he acting so cold towards me all of a sudden? Oh, cmon y/n, it’s just a text message, maybe he’s in a meeting. You’ll see him during filming.

And I did see him during filming, but he didn’t see me.

“Jimin!” I called out to him and waved. He looked back, but looked away just as fast. His pace quickened as he disappeared into his changing room. I was left there, hurt and very confused.

Our characters did not have much interaction except for one scene. And we were going to film that one scene that day. It was a comedy drama about two colleagues fighting for the head position but end up falling in love later in the story. He was playing the boy’s overprotective friend, who causes a lot of problems later in the story, but is checking the girl out to see if she is “worthy enough” to date his friend.

“Ya, are you the idiot who is dating my best friend?” He coughed into his fist, already fully into the character.

“Are you using informal language with me? We don’t even know each other.” I snapped back, wavering a little under his strong gaze.

“Ya, listen up, I’ve heard that I’m older than you. So back off.” He squinted at me.

“Look, I don’t even know you. I’m just here t-”

“You know, you’re really pretty. Easily the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” Jimin winked at me, and I desperately searched for any signs of genuinity in what he just said. After his character had said that line, my character was supposed to throw her cup at him, but I was too busy ‘looking for love’ that I totally forgot what to do and screwed the scene up.

When the director yelled cut and we returned to our original positions, I thought I saw him roll his eyes, but I chose to ignore it.

We did the scene one more time, and we wrapped it up perfectly.

“Hey, Jimin, you were really good!” I tapped him on the shoulder and smiled at him. The corners of his lips turned up a little, and I took this as a good sign.

“You too.” He nodded at me and walked away.

Well, it could have been worse. He could have totally ignored me, but he didn’t. Does this mean that he likes me, just a little?

I spent the rest of my day smiling and thinking of him.

But as we got further and further into the filming, he ignored me more and more, and interacted with me only when it was necessary. We stopped texting regularly, and he stopped asking me out to hang. We kind of just stopped everything we had.

But, I still prayed and hoped that he had some feelings for me, because I sure did have feelings for him.

I started hanging out with Yoongi more than him, and we would just sit and talk about anything and everything under the sun. But, I needed to ask him about Jimin.

“Yoongi-ah, do you think Jimin thinks that I like him? Is that why he’s acting so strange?”

“Oh, he knows that you like him.”

What?

“What? Who told him?” I yelled, running over to his side. “Oh my god, I can’t fucking breathe. I’m going to faint.” I started hyperventilating and everything looked a little blurry.

“I think it would be best if you didn’t faint on me,” he said with a serious tone, but I could tell that he was a little worried. “I heard Jungkook talking about it to Hoseok, that Jimin knows that you like him. I didn’t tell him, if you’re wondering. And I don’t think Taehyung did either. Besides, I don’t think he’s acting strange on purpose. I’ve known Jimin for eight years now, he’s a genuine dude. He wouldn’t hurt someone intentionally. He’s just a little oblivious.”

“Do you think that he will forget about this?” I looked up at Yoongi with tears ready to spill out at any negative response Yoongi was forming in his head.

“I honestly think that he will. It might take a while, but he’ll eventually forget it and everything will go back to normal. Jimin doesn’t hold grudges easily, and I think that he’ll understand later on. But we will save that story for a time when we’re all old. You can still have feelings for him, nobody’s going to stop you. And you know, maybe he’ll like you back, but I can’t decide that for him. You just have to be patient and see what happens.” He reassured me, holding my chin up to face him as my warm tears glided down my cheeks in silence. “But for now, let’s go get some ice cream to calm you down a little. And let’s bring Seulgi along, I think she feels a little left out sometimes.” He stood up, and pulled me to my feet. He draped an arm around my shoulder and I buried my face into his shoulder.

“Thanks Yoongi.”

“It’s going to be okay.”

With Yoongi’s blessing, I continued to harbour feelings for Jimin. Seeing as I saw him almost every other day, I thought about him a lot. As I saw him acting, I thought about how he was so talented. His character was basically the comic relief, he made me laugh until my sides hurt. He never failed to make my day, and I hoped that my scenes made his day as well.

I would try to initiate conversation and we would occasionally have a short conversation about anything we wanted to talk about. I was really happy when he replied to my messages, I sometimes would screenshot our messages and show them to Seulgi so she could fangirl over the fact that I was friends with her celebrity crush.

“Y/n, can I be super honest?” She asked me once while looking at our messages. I was sitting on the couch, eagerly waiting for her reaction.

“Yeah, sure.”

“He seems like he’s replying with very little effort. You see, you typed such a long message here, and all he replied you with was a ‘cool’. I think you’re putting in too much effort into this, little sis. You might want to back down a little, give the dude some space for a bit and try again.” She sighed, and I felt a little bit of anger boiling up inside of me, not sure whether it was because of her blunt words, or the fact that I had suspected it as well.

“Seulgi, I don’t think you should butt into things like this anymore.” I murmured, taking my phone from her and slinking back to my room, locking the door behind me. I flopped onto my bed and had a long, silent cry.  

I could sense that he wasn’t really putting in much effort, but he replied me. He could have ignored me.

As the months passed by, my love for him grew stronger, he pushed me away more and more, until we stopped talking altogether. I didn’t really like the distance between us, even if we saw each other regularly, and I kind of slipped into a slump. I was constantly lethargic, I had massive headaches and I felt a little numb to all emotions. Sometimes, I would lie on my bed, body ridden with insomnia, thinking about him, about us. What we were. But sometimes, I cried myself to sleep, as dramatic as that sounds.

My heart ached for him, I felt empty without him, and when I was with him, I felt heartbroken. I didn’t know how or what to feel. There were a few thoughts of self-harm running through my mind, and I did attempt to do it, but when I picked up the blunt butter knife, I couldn’t hurt myself. There was something in me screaming that it was a bad idea, and I would just end up sitting on the ground, unharmed on the outside but broken on the inside. I mentioned these things to Yoongi, and he was very supportive even though he didn’t quite understand.

“Yoongi, I feel really bad right now. Is this normal?”

“Y/n-ah. You shouldn’t feel bad. Like I told you, I’m very sure that Jimin doesn’t know that he’s hurting you. I won’t tell him so you won’t be ashamed, but I don’t think that this is something you want to keep up with. It’s very problematic and it’s taking a very obvious toll on you. You look so thin, and your eyes are dull. Take a little break of filming is what I think you should do.” He continued to talk but I couldn’t really hear him anymore.

I looked down at myself, my wrists, my thighs, my stomach. All of them seemed thinner than normal. But that was just because I had no appetite, I wasn’t bulimic or anorexic, I simply just didn’t feel like eating. But why?

There were so many articles talking about how thin I was. My fans were very supportive, telling me to be strong and be healthier, but they didn’t know what this felt like. Only I did.

And that’s when I decided that I was going to get over him.

I knew that it was going to be difficult and extremely painful for me, but this ‘relationship’ I had in my head was obviously not going to happen in real life. I didn’t blame Jimin at all, it was not his fault, neither was it mine. But sometimes, things just happen, or they don’t.

“I’m going to get over him, I’ve been stuck in this crush for too long already. It’s almost been a year and a half, I think I’m ready to stop.” Tears welled up in my eyes as I told Yoongi, and I had no intention of holding them back.

“I’m here for you.”

So, from then on, I promised myself that I would get over him. Every time I thought of him, I would mentally slap myself and think of something else, which sort of worked, but my mind would naturally gravitate back to him like a paperclip to some sort of magnet, and I had to repeat the process, leaving me mentally and physically drained by the end of the day.

I was a pretty vocal person, so I decided to talk to Yoongi about it. He was a good listener, quiet and sturdy, and he sat quietly next to me, hearing all my feelings through text or in person. Sometimes he gave me advice, which was mostly to naturally get over him, but most of the time he just sat there listening intently.

I tried talking to my other friends as well, leaving his name as a blank, but they all gave me the same response: if you want to get over him, just stop talking about him, that way you won’t think about him as much. But I already thought about him on a daily basis, so what was the difference if I shut up?

I couldn’t breathe.

All the air in my body felt like it was being sucked out. I felt like dying.

I just got home from a photoshoot that went terribly wrong because the camera director thought that I was not the right model and started throwing a fit. It turned out okay in the end, at least he didn’t hurt me, but it still hurt my feelings.

As my car was pulling up into my driveway, I felt nauseous. I bolted out of the car and ran straight for the toilet, where I emptied the contents of my stomach into the toilet bowl. NOt that there was much to empty, though.

I just sat on the ground, and reality hit me. Getting over him was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

I had done many crazy things to prepare for a role, like egg someone’s house to study their reaction, cut my hair unevenly to see what the media would say about me, and hug random strangers on the street to see what they would do.

None of them was as hard as staying conscious while having a panic attack.

And there I was, on the floor of my bathroom, having a panic attack. My breathing was rapid and shallow, and I couldn’t think straight. All my thoughts flew out the window, but the thought of Jimin stayed with me, comforting and hurting me at the same time.

I started hysterically crying, and Seulgi started banging on the door. Everything was blurry and disoriented, like I was looking through a fisheye lens. I slammed my head on the wall a few times, trying to knock some sense into myself as I hyperventilated, but it didn’t work.

I was a mess, sobbing on the damp floor, eyes bulged out, gasping for air and comfort.

What do I do? What did I do? I can’t breathe.

I tried counting the number of light bulbs in the room to take my mind off this attack, but everything became blurrier, and I had to focus on staying conscious.

My trembling hands reached out for my phone in my pocket, I had no energy to grab so I just dragged it out and held it. It looked like it was vibrating, but it was just me. 

I dialed the first number that came to mind and held it next to my ear.

“Yeoboseyo?”

“Yoongi, panic, attack, please, help.” I wheezed into the phone.

“Square breathe. Four in, four hold, four out, four hold. I’ll be there, just wait for me.”

He arrived at my house with a stuffed bear and a concerned expression. I stared at him from the mountain of blankets I had buried myself under.

Seulgi had managed to open the door to the bathroom and saw me crying on the floor. She immediately managed to get me up as I was too tired to resist and brought me to my room. She was in the kitchen making me a warm drink, and I thanked the gods for my wonderful and caring sister.

“What happened?” Yoongi said as he set the bear down.

“Yoongi, I don’t know what to do.” I hiccuped and closed my eyes to soothe the headache I felt coming on. “I really want to get over him, but I feel...I feel like...I don’t know how to explain it. But, I really love him. And when I try to forget him, it hurts. And when I think of him, it hurts. Yoongi, I am hurting. My heart is hurting. I can’t do this. I’ve never been in this much pain in my life.” I started crying all over again, but this time it wasn’t hysterical. It was the silent type, where tears just fell from your eyes, making you hurt even more. My nails dug into my skin, making little crescent indents into my arm.

I was going through so much, with the fame and now this. I couldn’t take it. It was too difficult.

“Yoongi, i’m in so much pain. I want to hurt myself, but I can’t. I can’t do that to myself. I can’t continue with life like this, Yoongi, I can’t.”

I looked up and saw tears rolling down his pale cheeks, but he didn’t make an effort to wipe them away.

“It’s going to be okay.”

1 year later

“Jimin-ah! Is that you?” I yelled out, and he turned around to face me. A grin spread across his face like wildfire, and he walked towards me with a spring in his step.

“Y/n! How have you been? I haven’t seen you lin like a year!” He stepped forward and embraced me. I felt the urge to wriggle out of his touch, but I took a deep breath and hugged him back. It felt good.

“I’ve been good, a little busy with filming and photoshoots, but otherwise good! We should meet up sometime to hang out.”  I smiled at him warmly, and he returned the smile with a genuine one. But, after a while, his smile faded a little, and there was a glint of worry in his eyes.

“Y/n, I need to tell you something.” He held my hands, and my breath quickened a little.

“Yoongi told me about what happened last year. About, you know, me and you.” He scratched the back of his neck nervously. “I just wanted to apologise. I swear I didn’t intentionally hurt you. I was just a little freaked that a beautiful girl like you would love an idiot like me, so I wanted to distance myself a little. I didn’t know that I would end up hurting you. I was so immature and I really just want to start over with you. Do you forgive me?”

‘Hmm,” I pretended to think, picking at my nails, teasing him a little. “I’d have to think about that. But do you know what will make me make my decision faster? Us hanging out, sometime next week? I’ll call you.” I gave him a playful thumbs up, and he laughed as he shook his head.

“Of course, we’ll arrange a date.”

“It’s settled then.” I did a playful bow to him and started to skip away, but dipped my head backwards to say something before I left.

“Hey Jimin,” I called to him and he raised his head to look at me with confusion. “Remember when I was whipped for your ass?” He tilted his head and I flashed him a cheeky smile.

“Yeah, me neither.”

[stillness-in-green]

Human Debris Masterpost (9/?)

This is the second of two consecutive posts in the series, which I had to break up for length (whoops).  The first one, dealing with the conclusion of the Dawn Horizon arc, can be found here.  Don’t miss the moment I fell in love with Derma!

At this point, we begin the Silent War arc, with an episode I’ve been wanting to talk about for months now.  I will attempt to manage my post length better in the future, but for now...

EPISODE THIRTY — Inauguration of the Arbrau Defense Forces

After some unsubtle foreshadowing courtesy of Makanai about what befalls those who try to take the quick way to their goals, we join the Earth Branch kids, as Takaki fields some conversation about what they’re going to do once the Arbrau Defense Force is all officially trained and on-duty and stuff.  

Takaki hasn’t heard anything in particular yet, but Aston puts in that he likes the Earth.  He doesn’t show much particular emotion in the statement, or immediately elaborate on why, but one of the unnamed characters (who, at the very least, have slightly more distinct designs than HQ-Tekkadan’s Random Brunettes) puts in that the food’s good, and Tekkadan members are welcome in the city.  

This is pleasant to hear, if a bit surprising, given what we’ve been lead to believe about prejudice towards those in the Outer Spheres.  Is this soley due to Tekkadan’s good rep?  It’d make sense that Arbrau, who just found out Gjallarhorn was trying to interfere in their democratic process, is feeling particularly welcoming to the organization that exposed it.  It may also be the case that the average person on the street is way less xenophobic than the average Gjallarhorn soldier.  

In any case, Takaki tries to mollify the other boys about Radice, who they don’t much like, and don’t feel is a real Tekkadan member.  

Aston and Takaki do an awful lot of silent watching of each other, at least in these first few episodes focusing on the Earth Branch.  They clearly have a lot of thoughts about each other, but are both slow to comment, Takaki probably a little reluctant to possibly hit a sore spot or say something insensitive, and Aston perhaps not feeling it’s really his place.  Will this cause them problems later?  I guess we’ll find out!

But in the meantime, back to Chad!  And also my screaming about Chad.  I’ll ask my readers to cast their thoughts back to something I mentioned some time ago, waaay back in my third post.  Specifically, Chad’s preview text for episode eleven, where he talks about only having been given torn, used clothes prior to joining CGS/Tekkadan (it’s unclear which he meant, but even CGS had uniforms), and how he’s more comfortable in dirty clothes.  

We find him working on a tie and wearing some very nice clothes indeed, for what is apparently the very first time.  Since this is not the actual day of the ceremony, I’m thinking he probably just got these delivered, and is trying them on to make sure everything fits correctly.  I’m impressed he knows his way around a tie, honestly.  Takaki compliments him, which he gets a bit abashed about, asking if it shouldn’t be Radice instead, whereupon we find out two things: firstly that Chad is indeed the one officially in charge of the Earth branch, and secondly that Makanai askied for Chad specifically.  More on that in a little bit.

Aston is a little wide-eyed throughout this scene, for reasons he will talk about later.

Chad catches Aston staring and gets even more embarrassed, saying that he knew he looked weird after all.  He’s clearly not feeling at all comfortable in the clothes, even as the smile on his face says that he’s still just a bit pleased.  My guess is that even if he feels like a street-rat playing dress up, something everyone is going to know as he shows his face in front of a crowd, he’s still proud to be representing Tekkadan.  And I love that the character writing is consistent enough to tie this back in to literally the only thing season one told about him personally, his comfort in used, dirty clothes.  

Aston tries to explain his staring, but they’re interrupted by Radice, here to deliver the last batch of guidelines for the event, which Takaki jumps in to grab, saying Tekkadan will take care of guarding the venue while Chad attends the ceremony.  

It’s indicative of Aston’s history, I think, that he’s apparently lippy around outsider adults, but shuts right down in the face of adults in his chain of command.  He doesn’t even look at anyone during this exchange, just stares at the floor as Radice rebukes them all not to cause any more friction with the Arbrau Defense Force.  He did the same around Kudal (although often he looked more terse about it, as Kudal was abusing the Brewers Debris quartet every time he was in the same room), which gives this reaction an air of ‘keep quiet, keep your head down, avoid trouble.’  

Chad and Takaki are more openly bemused by the man’s attitude.  

Ah, there’s the old terse Aston!  As soon as the authoritative adult leaves the room, he more openly glares and grumbles around it.  

Chad (because Chad has the patience of a saint and the self-esteem of a child abuse victim), says that Radice probably just has a lot on his mind, while Takaki (ever the optimist) points out that Radice has gotten more willing to listen to them over time, compared to how he was when he first joined, and jeezus, I dread to think how intolerable the man must have been at the start.  

We close the scene with Radice briefly eavesdropping from outside the door, as Chad jokes that maybe Radice’s just given up on them because they’re so dumb (see again: self-esteem issues), and Chad plz stop hurting me this way you are wonderful and smart and deserve much better than what’s about to happen to you.

Takaki and Aston head on out, with Takaki chattering about how cool Mr. Chad looked.  This leads Aston to ask about Chad’s history—that he used to be Human Debris like Aston himself, right?  Takaki confirms, but does not follow up on the question at all, instead changing the subject to whether Aston will be coming home with him that night, as Fuuka likes having him over.  

This is, perhaps, a good point to remind the reader that Takaki was nearly killed by Masahiro back during the Brewers Arc, something that I don’t doubt he is keenly aware of, though I don’t know how much of that Aston ever found out about.  His unwillingness to press Aston about Aston’s own issues stemming from that history are likely rooted in that awareness—that he would prefer not to dwell on that old division, telling himself that Aston is a member of Tekkadan now, and thus that Human Debris stuff doesn’t matter anymore!  (Spoilers: It still matters.)

In any case, Aston turns down the invite, noting that Fuuka has a test she’s been studying for, and he doesn’t want to distract her with fussing over him.  As was the case back with the Brewers, Aston shows himself to be observant and thoughtful, and with a tendency towards mediation that he only ever shows to his peers.  Takaki looks a little startled, and the next scene gives us the general impression that Aston has, perhaps, noticed more about Fuuka’s habits than her own brother has.  

After the credits, we return to Mars, and I get to roll around some more in my Human Debris feelings.  

Shino is chitchatting about how Chad will be pleased with the delivery of Shidens Tekkadan is getting ready to ship, though if they’d gotten them to him earlier, it would have made him look better.  Akihiro agrees, in an unusually upbeat mood.  When Lafter comments on it, Akihiro observes that they were both Human Debris.

Dante joins in to confirm, saying that Chad will get the job done, in a ‘Chad is awesome and we are proud of him’ moment that gives me more warm fuzzies about the Human Debris trio than my body has room for.  Ride breaks it up with some ribbing about how Akihiro would get nervous if it was him.  

Akihiro scowls theatrically at the teasing, and I am reminded of Biscuit commenting that he was surprised Akihiro came to the Tekkadan+Turbines oath-swearing ceremony, as it didn’t seem like the kind of thing he liked.  At that time, Akihiro said it was an important moment for the family.  This, though, is an important moment for our ex-red-stripes, one they’re clearly all feeling the resonance of, and it is great great great.  

After a check-in with Arianrhod, we return to Earth for the day of the ceremony, where Chad is giving some last-minute instructions.  They’re at the parliament building, actually!  It’s the same place where Kudelia gave her speech during the season one finale, and which will eventually be renamed in honor of Makanai.  

As the rest of the group disperses, Chad calls back Takaki just long enough to place him in charge.  Their trust in each other shines here, but knowing what’s coming, we also know that that trust can, itself, be a weakness—because Tekkadan focuses so strongly on obeying their appointed leaders, to the point that they don’t really think for themselves, there’s no protocol for what happens when a leader goes down, no way to put on the brakes even as things start to feel really wrong.  This will prove disastrous over the entire rest of the series, but particularly in this arc.  

As the ceremony gets underway, Takaki finally asks Aston why he’s been so out of it lately.  Aston responds with self-deprecation, saying that he isn’t very smart, and doesn’t know how to describe what he’s feeling.  

He was surprised when he saw Chad dressed up; it made him want everyone to see him.  He continues to puzzle over further explanation, until Takaki finally fills in the word—pride.  He was proud of Chad.  Aston confirms, and Takaki continues—he was also happy.  

Aston looks briefly, openly shocked by this assessment, turning his gaze away awkwardly, but confirming that as well.  He was happy.  

You guys, I’m starting to feel pretty confident in my assessment about Aston’s stunted emotional self-awareness.

As we approach the beginning of the end, we find Chad in Makanai’s office, where they have apparently not headed to the ceremony just yet.  Makanai is complimenting Tekkadan’s work as a military advisor, and thanking Chad for it, which Chad is a bit startled by, brushing it off.  

Makanai presses, though, stating that he’s counting on Chad as a person in charge of Tekkadan—and then he namedrops Chad specifically, leaving the young man completely stunned at the recognition.  The way he breathes, “My name…” here just guts me.  AUGH MY RED STRIPE FEELS.  

Before this gets any more personal, though, Makanai’s assistant (who I will have some words about, in a post I intend to make someday about various odds-and-ends I’ve noticed going through the show again; suffice to say the guy is a CHAMP) comes in and, showing his own observational skills, comments on the flower arrangement sitting on the table, asking when it was delivered, because it wasn’t in the room earlier.  

Before he’s even all the way through the question, Chad is leaping to a terrible (and sadly accurate) conclusion.  As Makanai reaches out and touches the flowers, Chad yells his name (calling him ‘sensei’, fascinatingly enough), the vase emits a beeping sound, and we go to slo-mo.  

Chad body-tackles Makanai to the floor just before the explosive goes off, removing him, alas, from these recaps for an agonizingly long time.  He’ll be back, though!  

Outside, as soon as the sound of an explosion hits the street, Aston is making to bolt inside.  He has to be physically stopped by Takaki, reminding him that a) Arbrau is in charge of security inside the building, and b) Mr. Chad is in there, and he’ll take care of whatever happened!

When they overhear that Makanai’s been injured, Aston wastes no time in grabbing an Arbrau security dude by the lapels and demanding to know about Chad.  Alas, the rest of the world is not so attentive to the names of random teenaged security personnel, and the guy has no idea who he’s talking about.  

After a brief timeskip of three days, we return to a bunch of angry kids (and they are kids; not one of them looks even as old as Chad and the other core members back on Mars, seeming closer to Takaki in age) already showing the first signs of frustration that Takaki doesn’t have any orders direct from Orga, but is just relaying them via Radice.  As has been and will continue to be the case, Aston keeps his own council, just keeping an eye on Takaki during the argument.  He is less of a mediator through here, for reasons that we’ll touch on shortly.  

Here we find him lurking in the hallway while Takaki tries to talk Radice into letting him contact Tekkadan directly—Radice says that’s his job while Chad is still unavailable, and Takaki lacks the wherewithal to just up and pull rank on him.  

In the hallway outside, Aston reveals that he, like the other Tekkadan members, wants to go and avenge Chad, but feels supporting Takaki is more important.  I think, though, that the fact that he never jumps in to try and smooth things over between Takaki and the others does speak to just how much he wants that revenge.  He wants to support Takaki, but probably doesn’t have any words to soothe the other members, because frankly, he agrees with them—so he just says nothing.  

Back on Mars, Orga has smelled a rat in all of this, and decides to rush the Shiden delivery, opting to send Akihiro and some others along.  Akhiro, who is without a doubt more pissed about this than he is immediately showing through his immediate worry and confusion, wastes no time in agreeing.  

He comments here that he wants to hurry, as he has a bad feeling.  It’s probably just his experience talking, as well as his trust in Orga’s bad feeling, but it does please me a bit to think that he’s having that shoujo manga “react as though I’ve sensed my loved ones’ mortal injury despite being miles apart and having exactly zero psychic ability” feeling that the show will traffic in more and more heavily in its wind-down episodes.  

We return to find Takaki and Aston talking about the possibility of a war breaking out, and what they should do without explicit orders from Orga.  Takaki, who made it through an entire season’s worth of Orga’s rhetoric about Tekkadan being family, wants to trust Radice, as well as hold out on Earth because Fuuka likes it so much.  Aston is entirely ambivalent about Radice, but wants to protect Takaki and Fuuka’s happiness however he can.  

However he can, though for him that really only means killing or dying.  

Whoops.  The Human Debris stuff still matters.  

Takaki protests this talk angrily, which seems to honestly bemuse Aston, in a strong echo of Akihiro’s early confusion about Orga offering him freedom, and the rest of Tekkadan welcoming him as family.  It just isn’t their first instinct, these red-stripes of ours, to understand the value the people around them place on their lives.  Aston is even more clueless about it than most, as Takaki is more reluctant to talk frankly about it than, say, Orga or Shino, Eugene or Mikazuki were with Akihiro.  

Yes, as Sudden Narrator Takaki tells us, this is all going to end in pain.  

Oh god, these are so long.  Thank you all for reading all this, and apologies again for any confusion with the back-to-back posts.  Comments and discussion are totally welcome, by the way!  Anyone who wants to talk Human Debris, or IBO generally, is wholly welcome to do so via reblogs or direct messages.  

[emilysnell]

What to do when your dentist makes you uncomfortable

I’ve finally had enough. I’m finding a new dentist. But I’m gonna say a few words before I ditch this guy.

For years now, I’ve been going to the same dentist - someone I didn’t originally choose but got stuck with when my real dentist moved on to start her own practice. The guy I got stuck with has always made me feel uncomfortable with his jokes/comments and unwanted hugs. But I tried to push those feelings aside because I like everything else about the office. The office itself (reception area, equipment, etc) is really high quality, the ladies at the front desk and all of the hygienists are very kind, everyone (even my creepy dentist) seems to be good at taking care of teeth. The location of their office was close to my work. They have gorgeous huge windows so that you have a nice view while you’re sitting in the chair trying not to think of the sound of the drill or the fact that you’ve been holding your mouth open for 20 minutes. Everything about it was great. Except the dentist and his creepy comments.

So, because everything else was great, I put up with the comments. I tried not to be too tense about the uncomfortable hug at the end. I made excuses for him: he doesn’t mean any harm; he’s not dangerous; he doesn’t realize he’s making me uncomfortable.

But 6 months ago when I went to my appointment, on the way there, I found myself rehearsing a whole speech that I was trying to work up the courage to say. A speech about why I didn’t want a hug, about why he really shouldn’t hug his clients. Thankfully, surprisingly, at the end of my appointment, he didn’t hug me. I was so relieved!

And then I went back yesterday. Again no hug (thankfully!) but he maintained his usual uncomfortable comments. This time, I finally decided to speak up (although, I wish I had been more direct). Let me paint a little picture for you and then we’ll get to the real moral of this whole story:

Dentist (while checking the lymph nodes in my neck): “This is my excuse to play with your neck.”

Me: *silence*

Dentist: “Uh oh. You didn’t laugh. That means I’m in trouble.” *for several minutes tries to make me laugh and yet also continues with awkward topics*

Dentist (compliments me on the smell of my lotion): “Don’t worry I won’t chase you down the hall.” *ensues telling story about another client who always smells good*

Finally, several minutes later after he continues talking about trying to make me laugh, 

I say: “I think you have too many jokes. Maybe you should get rid of some of them.”

Dentist: “The second you start believing my jokes, you can reach up and slap me.”

I don’t know how that conversation makes you feel, but in addition to making me feel uncomfortable, it made me angry.

It made me angry because he’s an adult man who should have enough professionalism to know when jokes are appropriate or inappropriate. 

It made me angry because I don’t think he would say those same comments if a patient’s husband/boyfriend/brother/dad was in the room. And I don’t think he’d make those comments if his own wife was in the room.

It made me angry because he obviously knows the comments have the potential to make people uncomfortable but he chooses to say them anyway AND he puts the pressure on the client to do something about it rather than taking responsibility for the fact that he’s the one in the wrong.

Just to be clear: If you have to give people an out like “you can reach up and slap me,” you shouldn’t be saying it in the first place. Don’t make me have to react to your inappropriate behavior. Use your own professional/logical sense and don’t make those kinds of comments.

The whole episode has me thinking about cultural expectations, about manners, about harassment, about confronting inappropriate behavior, about power differentials, about making decisions to leave - even if you’re just leaving your dentist.

I’m not the only woman who feels uncomfortable about this man’s conduct. (I have friends who go to the same dentist and have told me that he’s a little creepy.) And yet, we all made excuses for him. We all just put up with the comments because he’s “harmless.” While I do think (hope), he would never actually do anything inappropriate, I would argue that words are far from harmless. And I think it’s important for us - especially women - to speak up and not make excuses when inappropriate behavior is happening. 

Before posting this, I asked a friend to read and offer feedback. She asked if I had considering mentioning #metoo. I told her that I didn’t really consider this a #metoo moment because it seems so “minor.” Red flag. As soon as I said it, I realized that’s the exact reason I need to mention it. The #metoo movement is all about bringing awareness to the prevalence of sexual harassment. And too often most of us are silent because the things we experience seem “minor” or “harmless.” But the reality is that these types of comments or unwanted physical contact aren’t ok. And we shouldn’t minimize them or dismiss them.

(Side note, I tend to be very gracious and forgiving about physical contact. I’m a touchy person. I often hug people or put a hand on someone’s arm. I skipped right over the fact that my dentist put his hand on my knee - just for a second. I didn’t mention it because it didn’t really bother me very much. And like I said, since I’m a touchy person, I tend to be forgiving about that. But I also know that it’s not professional in this context or any similar context.)

Even if it’s something small, if we are going to change the culture in this country, we have to start speaking up. And for me, that starts with yesterday’s comment to my dentist but also a phone call this week to tell them I’m not coming back - and to tell them exactly why I’m not coming back.

What to do when your dentist makes you uncomfortable:

1. Speak up. Say something.

2. Leave. Find a new dentist.

3. Please don’t put up with it for as long as I did. 

Men and women, we have to work together on this. We have to raise our kids to view others with respect and dignity and to speak and act in ways that honor others. We have to raise our kids to speak up, get help, walk away when inappropriate behavior happens. 

Men and women, we need to look at our own hearts. Where are we making excuses for ourselves and for others? 

Men and women, we need to learn how to respond when we are confronted. If someone tells you that you’re being inappropriate, listen. Apologize. Most importantly, change. Do better. Be better.

We’re in this together. Let’s make the world a safer place, a place where people are valued and honored and celebrated.