#this is not my finest work but here we are
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
On American Exceptionalism: Stupid Is As Stupid Does
âWe are drowning in information but starved for knowledge.â -John Naisbitt
Right after the 2016 election, the dominant hot take from pundits was Hillary lost because Democrats failed to understand Rural America. This explanation was complete nonsense. Liberals who grew up or lived/live in Rural America very much understand them. That wasnât the problem. As I wrote about at the time, the problem with Rural America was/is the racism and misogyny that are deeply embedded in their culture and religion and their willingness to all these to dictate their choices, even at their own expense.
Here we are eight years later and with Kamala Harrisâ loss to Trump, the stupid hot takes are again flying off the shelves. This time around, the reason for Trump winning was Democrats didnât care about the working class. As with âDems donât understand Rural America,â the reasons behind why Trump won were racism, misogyny, and stupidity. âDems donât care about the working class,â is a flat-out lie, no matter who says it, (Iâm looking at you Bernie Sanders.) All the evidence shows America has done better than every other major country responding to the pandemic and EVERY economic indicator is better now than just about any time in the past fifty years regarding unemployment, job creation, DOW, wage growth⊠Trumpâs reelection showed how much facts and evidence donât matter in America.
As long as people âfeelâ a certain way, that is all that matters. Any argument that hinges on âfeelings,â or âvibes,â is intellectual laziness at its finest. Why do people feel a certain way? Are these feelings justified? These questions are completely ignored or quickly glossed over because no one wants to know or discuss the answers to these questions.
No one wants to discuss why a large number of Americans are willing to believe a Five-Star, chronic liar. No one wants to know why these same people are willing to vote for a self-serving billionaire who has a long record of fucking over working-class people who have done work for him. No one wants to know why âgood Christians,â happily support an adulterer who paid off a porn star not to divulge he had sex with her four months after his wife gave birth to their youngest child. No one wants to ask why these same, âgood Christians,â are gleeful about fucking over immigrants and asylum seekers. No one really wants to know why Republicans are hell-bent on stripping women of rights and economic opportunities. No one really wants to admit that âThe Greatest Nation On Earth,â âThe Shining Beacon On The Hill,â and âGodâs Country,â is very much racist, misogynist, and really stupid.
"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it." -Agent K
People are generally stupid. Stupid people are easy to manipulate, especially when it comes to their feelings. Most of the âfeelingsâ about âeconomic anxiety,â are rooted in racism, bigotry, and misogyny.
In America, truth and evidence have been replaced with feelings and vibes because it takes no effort to feel something, to believe something. It takes a lot of work to understand and know something. There are too many Americans who are intellectually lazy and poorly educated and are either convinced they are smart or know they arenât and overcompensate by gish galloping and talking very loudly. The only thing more dangerous than a stupid person is a stupid person who is convinced they are smart.
For as long as I can remember, Iâve had little to no tolerance for stupidity. As a kid, I would often come home from school or church and complain vociferously to my mom about the stupidity Iâd encountered. Her advice to me was always, âYou canât fight every battle against stupid people, there are too many of them. Even if you âwinâ against one, there will always be another to take their place.â
Whenever she would tell me this, it would remind me of something I once heard the population of China was so large and growing so rapidly, that they could walk ten-abreast into the ocean and the line would NEVER end.
That is how I few stupid people. Never ending.
Instead of constantly battling against stupidity, I tried to carve out niches of smartness and sanity wherever I could. It is why I felt the need to leave America and go to Japan for a couple of years. It is why I studied philosophy. It is why I ended up in grad school at a Big 10 school in a very progressive town. It is why Iâve always surrounded myself with a very small but incredibly smart group of friends.
For a long time, this way of dealing with stupidity worked. Then social media brought the stupidity Iâd fought so hard to avoid to my door with a vengeance.
Nobody was more excited for the internet than me. Iâm an information junkie. My âhobbyâ as a kid was reading the Encyclopedia Britannica every night until the wee hours of the morning. Having all the information readily available was amazing. At least it was amazing until the Libertarian Tech Bros decided to create social media platforms to âdemocratizeâ information and bad-faith actors realized how easily they could manipulate a poorly educated population.
Thomas Jefferson knew that democracy could only truly function and succeed with an educated citizenry. Poorly educated people cannot make truly informed decisions. This is why mentally incompetent people and children cannot enter contracts. It is why people on certain drugs in hospitals are not allowed to make decisions about their health care. A democracy of idiots isnât a real democracy (and if you tell me America is a Republic, not a democracy, Iâll send a civics teacher to your house to beat you about the head and neck with the largest textbook in their library.)
You canât have a functioning democratic government with un/misinformed people. The exact thing is true when it comes to âdemocratizing,â information. It might sound like a good idea to open up information to any and all because good/sound ideas will rise to the top and win out in the end. To quote from, âA Stress Analysis Of A Strapless Evening Gown: Essays For A Scientific Age,â âThere goes another wonderful theory about to be murdered by a brutal gang of facts.â
When you âdemocratizeâ information you automatically give everything equal weight of legitimacy and truth value. Then, somehow, the right/true things become apparent and win out. This treats facts as opinions. The answer to, âWhich is better, Coke or Pepsi?â is not a factual statement. It contains no truth (even though anyone with any taste buds knows the correct answer is, âCoke.â) When scientific theories and data are treated the same as opinions and opinions are treated as facts, we are beyond fucked.
The other thing âdemocratizingâ information either takes for granted, completely ignores, or willfully denies is, in order for their notion of a âfree marketplace of ideas,â to work, people need to have the skill sets necessary to properly understand and process the information, in order to make informed decisions.
The tech bros donât have these skill sets. Libertarians, by nature, are idiots. The best description of Libertarians is from Tom Morrow - â"Libertarians are like house cats: absolutely convinced of their fierce independence while utterly dependent on a system they don't appreciate or understand.â Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg donât give one fuck about the well-being of people. They care about their egos. They care about how much data about you they can extract to sell to other amoral dicks. They care about how many toys they can buy and how many expensive, unique experiences they can have to brag about to their other equally amoral dick friends.
Truth isnât contingent on popularity or who has the most followers or poll numbers. To treat truth this way obliterates any and all standards of evidence, validity, and soundness. It does away with the need for truth. To pretend otherwise is to either not understand a functioning view of truth or to understand it and use the destruction of truth to your advantage.
When you combine a completely misguided idea like democratizing information with a poorly educated population, the result is the stupid become proudly and arrogantly stupid. It becomes the perfect breeding ground for conspiracy theories.
Social media sites always kind of were this way but two events really showed just how problematic and dangerous they were: The election of Barack Obama and the pandemic.
The amount of sheer bullshit spread on social media about Obamaâs birth certificate and the Affordable Care Act was staggering in volume and stupidity. Stupidity that is still believed as absolute gospel by a good chunk of the right. This really isnât surprising since many of these same people deeply believe Jesus was white and apparently a vindictive, gun-toting he-man.
However, as stupid and awful as the lies about Obama and the ACA were, they paled in comparison to those spread about the pandemic. The propaganda about the pandemic was unbelievably widespread and very dangerous. Literally, hundreds of thousands of people died from the lies spread, mostly on social media, about COVID-19 and the vaccines.
I have people I know very well and some I love deeply who adamantly believe the stupidest nonsense about the virus and vaccines for no other reason than the propaganda they read/heard on social media, pundits, and their social groups⊠The more people passed along something theyâd heard/read, the more it turned into a very dangerous Purple Monkey Dishwasher situation:
youtube
Once people believe untrue things, especially if those things are closely tied to their self-identity, it is almost impossible to unscrew that pooch because it would mean they have to admit they were not just misled and wrong but adamantly so. It takes humility to admit you are wrong. This is why, no matter how many times we are promised that the âRepublican Fever,â of Trumpism will break, it will never happen because it isnât Trumpism, it is Republicanism, and because the right will NEVER FUCKING EVER admit they were wrong about anything, especially if the liberals were right. It just isnât in their fundamentalist, white supremacist, misogynist, Manifest Destiny DNA.
The past few election cycles have been nothing but a constant barrage of well-designed, well-placed propaganda from bad-faith actors here and abroad. Fear, hatred, lies...all get more attention and traction with people, especially stupid people, than facts and the truth. Anyone who has a basic understanding of human psychology has to know this. The entire field of advertising hinges and relies on people being easily manipulated.
The culmination of decades of underfunding, undercutting, lying about, and demonizing education by the right and the proliferation of social media outlets resulted in the election of the most unqualified, uncaring, self-absorbed, chronic liar to run the worldâs largest economy and military not once but twice.
I keep hearing people blame Hillary Clinton and Kamala Harris for losing to Trump because, based on who Trump is, âthe race should never have been close.â This is a stupid take. It absolutely shouldnât have been close, either time. The problem wasnât Hillary or Clinton or anything they did/didnât do. The problem is Americans are fucking stupid and since America is a representative government, their votes are a direct reflection of who/what they are.
The day right before this yearâs election, all the left-wing pod bros and Never Trumpers, to a person, talked about how Kamala ran the most perfect campaign theyâd ever seen. The day after the election, every single one of them rushed to get on the âDems donât care about the working classâ bandwagon like they were trying to get front-row tickets to Taylor Swift.
In my lifetime, ALL of the evidence from jobs created, unemployment, wages, and the DOW⊠shows Democratic administrations greatly outperform Republican ones. Yet, the narrative has always been that Republicans are better at handling the economy.
Why is there such a gap between facts and feelings when it comes to the economy?
One answer is propaganda. The right has a massive media advantage when it comes to pushing whatever narrative they want. AM radio, FOX NEWS, and Sinclair Corp⊠do nothing but pump out right-wing talking points all day, every day. If you hear/read nonstop that the economy is in crisis, no matter what the facts are, you will start to believe it. This is why, when Republicans were polled about the economy pre-election, the majority said they were in a good economic situation but the country was not. This also explains why, right after the election, when the âbad economyâ propaganda was no longer being pushed, the very same people who claimed the US economy was in shambles a week prior, now think the economy is doing fine.
The same thing is true about crime rates, welfare, immigration⊠You name it and there has been/is a massive propaganda effort from the right that has made a whole lot of Americans âreprogrammable meatbagsâ (hat tip Driftglass.)
Letâs just put aside the fact the Biden administration did more for workers than any administration since LBJ and possibly all the way back to FDR. When it comes to Democrats âignoring the working class,â every single economic crisis in my lifetime happened while a Republican was in the White House. And, every single one of the times this happened, it was a Democratic president who fixed the mess only to be replaced by another Republican who once again fucked up the economy.
The reasons why Trump won in 2016 and again in 2024 had nothing to do with Dem messaging or policies. The reasons are racism, misogyny, widespread propaganda, and Americans are unbelievably stupid. Full stop.
Iâm not surprised Trump won again because I understand the American electorate. Iâve also been warning for at least the past three decades that as white, male Americans become less culturally and demographically significant, they are going to do and rationalize whatever it takes to hold onto their artificially created sense of importance and self-worth. They will not just fight like hell to protect what they deem their God-given place in society, they will burn it all to the ground and salt the earth behind them rather than see anyone they deem unworthy get a damn thing.
In one of my undergraduate philosophy classes, I canât remember which one or the context, one of my professors brought up a hypothetical scenario where a wise king had a difficult choice to make. The public well in the village he ruled over had been tainted and anyone who drank from it went mad. The choice the king had to make was to either not drink from the well and rule over a bunch of raving lunatics or drink and become one of them.
The general consensus among the students was the right choice was for the king to drink the tainted water because, no matter how wise you are, you canât rule idiots.
I completely disagreed with this and thought the entire thing was a false dilemma (an either/or fallacy.) The smart/right thing for the king to do would be to find another village to rule over or head to the wilderness. Trying to rule idiots is a waste of time and talent. However, idiots arenât going to be any more easy to rule if you are also an idiot. Find a new place for your talents and/or get the fuck out of Dodge.
Iâm certainly not a wise king. Iâm just a lowly villager but I have the same choice to make because the public well of information has been tainted and those who drink from it are getting stupider by the day.
What does this all mean?
It means Iâm out. Iâm getting the fuck out of Dodge, not in the physical sense but intellectually and emotionally. I can no longer be a part of the public square of information because it has been overrun by idiots and bad-faith actors.
Iâve been out of fucks to give for some time and barely running on fumes. Watching 70+ million of my fellow Americans vote for chaos, white supremacy, lies, misogyny, and sheer stupidity and a whole lot of other Americans not even be bothered to vote for whatever reasons they tell themselves to feel better about themselves has completely exhausted whatever was in my public engagement tank.
I am going to completely stop using social media and pretty much avoid as much other media as possible. I know a lot of people who are leaving Facebook and Twitter and setting up shop at sites like Bluesky. I have a Bluesky account but wonât be using it. When I say Iâm taking myself out of the public square, I mean all of it. If the public has access to something, the well of information that hasnât been poisoned eventually will be.
There is a part of me that wants nothing more than to hang around and watch people who voted for the Face Eating Leopard Party get their faces eaten by leopards. Nobody loves the Find Out portion of Fuck Around And Find Out as much as I do. However, I canât enjoy the Schadenfreude of people who voted for or enabled Trump to get exactly what they deserve because a lot of people who did the right thing for the right reasons are going to suffer as much, if not much more.
I also canât watch people who keep telling me they are allies continue to make horrible choices, bitch about the consequences of their choices, and then make the same choices again. Every single person on the left who says things like, âBoth parties are the same,â or âDems have ignored the working class,â needs to go back and take a remedial civics class.
There is ONE AND ONLY ONE principle progressives need to come to terms with. If you want FDR-like policies, you HAVE TO HAVE FDR-like majorities in Congress. There is no fucking third or fourth or fifth option. The surefire way to not get these kinds of majorities is to sit out elections, vote third-party, and spend more time and energy attacking would-be allies than opponents.
I can no longer watch people be more concerned about coming across as âindependent thinkers,â than being intellectually honest.
I can no longer watch people monetize anger, grief, racism, misogyny, bigotry, and stupidity.
I can no longer watch people care more about how many followers they have than facts.
I can no longer listen to people talk about âChristian values,â when their actions and words would make Jesus weep.
I can no longer hear people complain about âelites,â but continue to cater to billionaires and be fine with tax cuts for the wealthy.
I can no longer listen to people who do not understand basic economics, basic civics, and basic logic. I can no longer deal with people saying, "It's no big deal, it's just politics."
I can no longer watch people âpunch downâ on people/groups that are the most vulnerable in our society.
I can no longer watch women and minorities be treated as second-class citizens.
I can no longer tolerate the left being a shining example of âthe perfect is the enemy of the good.â
I can no longer watch people who claim that women and minorities are high priorities to them but who constantly donât do what is necessary to protect them.
I can no longer watch the hypocrisy of people who claim to be âChristian,â exude so much hate and anger towards people their Jesus would have taken in and washed their feet.
I can no longer watch people with little to no critical thinking skills carry more influence and weight than experts in their field. Sorry Uncle Freedom, but you donât know Jack about virology or tariffs or Ukraine or gas production or (fill in the blank.) You donât have the critical thinking skill set to even know why you donât know what you donât know and neither do the idiots you listen to on AM radio, FOX NEWS, Rumble, or OAN.
All of this probably comes across as âsour grapes,â and/or âarrogance.â I donât fucking care. I havenât been wrong about this stuff yet and I donât believe I am now. I really want to be wrong. However, over the past few years, Americans generally havenât done anything to prove me wrong.
Someone might think Iâm, âjust another elite liberal talking down to âReal Americans©.â First, despite all my scholastic training, Iâm very much blue-collar. Second, Iâm not being judgmental, Iâm being purely descriptive. Finally, the Fuck Your Feelings Crowd donât get to complain about what people think/say about them. If you are a liberal and think Iâm being too harsh, get a backbone and stop pretending Republicans are something they are not, and stop wasting your time trying to convince them. No amount of evidence or arguments is going to make a meaningful dent. The ONLY thing that has a chance of making them change their beliefs is if they personally suffer from their choices, and even then that isn't a guarantee.
I saw a very popular Tweet from someone lecturing the left for âmocking people who are concerned about the price of eggs and bacon.â Iâm not mocking them for their concerns. Iâm mocking them for not understanding the very easily understandable reasons why certain things cost what they do at any given moment in time. Donât wrap yourself in a flag of capitalism if you donât understand the basics of supply and demand. Donât be fucking stupid and certainly donât let your stupidity lead to even stupider consequences.
It isnât the fault of Joe Biden or Kamala Harris or liberals that a lot of Americans donât understand the consequences of a worldwide pandemic, deregulations, supply-side issues, how the need to maximize stock dividends led to a shortage of warehouses or dozens of other economic factors. They tried. A FUCKING LOT. Somehow, it just seemed easier for a lot of people to believe the person who lies about his wealth, lies about his crowd sizes, has a long list of failed businesses, including two casinos (BANKRUPTED... TWO... FUCKING... CASINOS something that no one thought was even possible,) than the President and VP who oversaw the largest growth in US manufacturing, wage growth, jobs, and saved pensions in the past 60+ years.
To call what happened on Nov 5th stupid is an insult to stupid. What it sure the fuck wasnât, just like in 2016, was a result of âeconomic anxiety.â
I have to take myself out of the public square because I see no end to the stupidity. I only see it getting worse. It is going to get worse because too many billionaires are more concerned with their placement on the Top 100 Biggest Pricks List than making things better for anyone other than themselves. Itâs going to get worse because white men and their enablers are going to fight even harder to hold on to the bullshit worldview of their stature and importance. Itâs going to get worse because AI is going to further dumb down an already poorly educated population. Itâs going to get worse because people running social media platforms are more concerned with algorithms that will generate profits than what those algorithms contain or their consequences. Itâs going to get worse because young people donât have the skill sets necessary to process the amount of misinformation and disinformation they are exposed to on a daily basis.
It is going to get worse because there is no more fragile substance in the known universe than the male ego.
It is going to get a lot worse because when fundamentalists think they have the upper hand, they ALWAYS make things worse.
It is going to get worse right away because the worst person and president in my lifetime, and possibly American history, isnât going to have the people or guardrails around him like he did the first time. The upcoming administration is going to be a clown show. Not a Bozo or Krusty The Clown show but Pennywise and John Wayne Gacy clown show because every single person being singled out for top positions is not just grossly unqualified but a rabid nut job.
Germany turned to fascism largely because of economic factors. Between a decimated manufacturing sector, severe reparations due to Great Britain and France, hyperinflation, and the effects of The Great Depression, Germany was an economic disaster post-WWI. Hitler capitalized on this economic strife by telling Germans heâd make Germany Great Again.
America has the worldâs greatest, most stable economy. The lives of everyday Americans are infinitely better now than they were a generation ago. Many of the problems we do have can easily be corrected with some basic regulations on our poorly regulated capitalism. Yet, despite this, Americans are turning towards fascism because they canât buy whatever they want whenever they want for as little as possible, and, most importantly, white men see their self-appointed place at the top of the social/cultural pyramid, threatened. American White Christian Male Exceptionalism and Hitlerâs Aryan Master Race are both based on pseudoscientific bullshit. They arenât the exactly same but the Venn Diagram of the two overlaps a lot more than Americans care to admit.
Other than exiting from the public square, I really donât know what Iâm going to do. The last time I felt this way, to a much lesser degree, I moved out of the country. This is certainly something Iâve thought about and a serious option but due to personal responsibilities, it wouldnât be for a few years.
When I lived in Japan, they might have been as stupid and conspiratorial as Americans (I donât believe they were) but I didnât know the language well enough to find out. There is something sadly true about the quote from âBull Durham,â-âThe world is made for people who aren't cursed with self-awareness.â
Iâd really like to get back into writing but I havenât figured out what to write about if Iâm self-exiled. Writing about the Village Gone Stupid would defeat the reasons Iâve decided to leave the village. No matter how little you expose yourself to poison, it is still poisonous.
Whatever happens, I want to thank everyone who has read, tolerated and appreciated what I have posted and written.
I initially thought about ending with a quote from Douglas Adams- âSo long and thanks for all the fish,â but that doesnât really capture how I feel. A better ending would be to post the entire lyrics to âAmused To Death,â by Roger Waters. However, that is too long and Iâve gone on enough. Instead, Iâll end with the lyrics from another song by Roger Waters from the same album.
Muslim or Christian, Mullah or Pope Preacher or poet who was it wrote Give any one species too much rope And they'll fuck it up -Roger Waters âToo Much Ropeâ
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
[sharing/rb appreciated đ]
my silver artbook is FINISHED and will open for preorders on 8/31 at 12pm EST!! it's been almost 3 months of work and i'm so excited to finally be able to share all the art i've worked on, PLUS a small bonus charm!
if u know silver fans,,, tell them
#FINALLY! i'm finishing up setting the shop this week and orders will open on da weekend <3 couldn't be prouder than i'm doing it#i went back and found my first statement of wanting to draw this series and it was end of MAY and now here we are!!! hes REAL#ive always wanted to publish some sort of artbook or personal zine but showing unrelated pieces felt wrong i need it to be a PIECE#so this series was perfect. im making this book for all of us. silver fans must win we have to we must. but also. im making it for me#i love him so much i crave more work for him desperately so i feed myself. and i love the diasom community i love us i LOVE US!!!!#no crumbs. no. only a full meal. the finest i can offer. silver my son you are sleepy and wonderful and i love you dearly#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#diasomnia#silver vanrouge#if anyone has questions feel free to reach out however!! qs or dms or whatever. i got ur back <3#suntails
244 notes
·
View notes
Text
It felt as if he were being intentionally careful around her, the way he nodded and watched her. She hated it about him, she hated anyone who treated her like she was fragile or childish. She had faced more than they knew and more than she felt they could ever conceivably guess. Juneau hated being patronized more than almost anything.Â
âWell, you arenât sleeping either,â she pointed out in a sharp tone of voice. His hypocrisy went unappreciated, or at least she convinced herself it was hypocrisy to steel her resolve in disliking the man. Her eyes narrowed and her expression flattened as he brought up her initial plan to leave some time ago. If she were pressed to give a reason why she hadnât gone, sheâd remain steadfast in maintaining his intervention had nothing to do with it. There were spoils to be lifted off the dead, long-forgotten heirlooms to be found in abandoned structures, or perhaps sheâd just say it was for Kettle and their unlikely alliance. But not because this intrusive stranger told her to. âCalling this moving is generous,â she muttered under her breath.Â
Juneau finished pulling herself together to depart the small field of sleeping bodies and paused only to orient her shoulders toward the man who still insisted on speaking to her for some unknown reason. Her head tilted to the side in the same moment one side of her mouth curled upward to form her signature, self-assured smirk. âMaybe Iâm scarier than whatever is out in those woods,â she suggested. She knew the likelihood anyone would feel that way was lowâshe was small, still a bit baby-faced and unassuming. But Juneau knew she had what it took to figure out how to survive. The simper on her face shifted into a coy look, just barely illuminated by the dying fire as she lied, âMaybe I was going to go collect more kindling and fuel for that fire, but since I shouldnât go too far, Iâm sure youâll manage.â
It was weird how the mood swiftly changed when they spoke to each other, weighting on his shoulders as if he had his heavy armor on in that moment, he almost had to check to make sure he didn't, butit was obvious through the warmth of the clothing he was wearing that that was not the case - plate always got colder with the weather, even when he was wearing so much padding on the inside of the pieces. A moment of realization came as he noticed the light getting dimmer as he forgot to play with what was left of the fire, quickly returning to his self-given task.
Alder nodded softly, noticing the defensiveness of her demeanor even at a simple question such as that. He couldn't blame her, they had started on the left foot but he wouldn't have done it any other way as he was in a difficult position back then, trying to stop her from going out all alone during the night. If anything, it was a miracle he could convince her, but ever since he'd asked Lor to patrol around their encampments during the night to make sure she didn't try anything, and, if she did, he asked her to follow the girl and keep her safe, but it never got to this point.
"Things to do, you say? In the middle of the night?" He asked in an innocent tone of voice, not in a way to mock her for whatever she planned to do. "Well, I'm not going to stop you this time... I just hope you're not thinking of leaving the group again, we're already moving now, aren't we...?" At least that was somewhat true, although slower than he'd expected, but maybe that was just his point of view as someone who could probably get to Lysara in half a week from their initial point if he wanted.
A sigh left his mouth. "That's a joke." He had to point that one out just in case she didn't understand it as such, the older man didn't want to make it all more awkward than it should be. "Just don't go too far, it's really dark out there, you might get lost." Honestly, he didn't really know why he went as far as to say that, was he her parent or something? She could take care of herself.
#I think we all know she had no intention of doing anything to benefit the group#this is not my finest work but here we are#alder#alder 01
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sometimes I just sit at work, do my thing, and my Spotify account decides to randomly throw me into my ichiruki or destiel slow & sad music, and I often don't register until it's too late and I catch feelings. And I'm just. My bro. I'm at work, what am I supposed to do with all those feelings now.
#i think better with music#but then comes heavy destiel shit like The Night We Met#or ichiruki like She is the Sunlight#like I'm literally in the middle of the narcotics case lmao#destiel#ichiruki#penny for my thoughts#fuck why they can't just be together like this literally fucks with my work#and i sit here frustrated now coz Rukia should be with Ichigo#and why the gay angel didn't kiss his cowboy#being a fan as it's finest i guess
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
I really miss my LoK Bloodborne AU it's like.. one of my all time favorite AUs aljsks where Baatar and Kuvira's villain arc is basically "We're tired of being treated as lesser than, and so we will seek the old blood as to become Great Ones ourselves and we will wipe the earth and start humanity over ourselves, in our image" and everyone else is just
fear. fear. fear. concern. What do you mean? Wait, what do you mean???
#LoK Thoughts#[ truly my finest character work with Baatar and Kuvira let me tell you#then you have Varrick over here like 'hey can I get in on that?'#Baatar and Kuv just like 'haha we will think about it :)))' spoilers: no they won't]
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Last thing I expected to do today was spend 10 minutes arguing with my grandma over a cat that's been dead for nearly a decade and yet here we are
#I'm sorry but if the woman who took her in after we moved is saying that she spent ages treating her for chronic bronchitis#after you and mom decided to keep her on the balcony in all kinds of weather instead of looking after the kids#and making sure they don't provoce the cat not eat out of her bowl#then I'm sure as fuck gonna believe that over your assurances that a cat spending winters on an unheated balcony is fine. actually#'oh please what does Marina know??'#um. EVERYTHING??? again she's the one who treated the poor thing and managed her alive for another 4-5 years#I'm taking her word over someone who never gave a damn about animals. thank you very much#this is such a sore topic for me apparently. animal cruelty at its finest and it seems like no one cares#they all just think that my auntie is trying to make them look bad and it's actually her fault the cat was sick#this family is so fucking infuriating#stormcloud I am so so sorry. you deserved so much better than being adopted into this fucking family#at least Marina loved her. she and my uncle may not be saints but they are a step above my mom and grandma in my eyes#if for no other reason than them treating Stormcloud with some basic human decency#no idea where this rant came from. but I can't voice it to anyone else so I'm putting it here#I feel like I should write a poem or something#I've never done anything of the sort but apparently there are some unprocessed feelings here that I should probably work through#idk. we'll see. I have to make it home from grandma's first
1 note
·
View note
Text
Itâs painful being in love with someone who did you dirty & talks so bad about you to others. Praying for strength to let go & heal. Literally in disbelief & disappointed. Never wouldâve imagined it this way. But thatâs life right? A pain a real one shouldnât have to feel. Literal pain. So difficult to describe. People who never felt true love wouldâve even understand. I never understood heartbreak until it happened to me. I pray when yâall fall in love itâs equally between the two because this ainât it. Literally not myself anymore, I will never let myself love someone like that again. Itâs not worth this heartbreak, trust is so far gone & I donât want to try again, so I wonât. Fuck That! So many emotions at once.
#disbelief#in love like a dummy#learning to get over it#trust over love though#self love is important#never thought it wouldâve been this way#disrespect at its finest#feeling like a dummy#heartbroken#rather you leave then cheat#thought we had the same beliefs in marriage#true love works out the wrongs#being showed daily I was never the one#people change for who they want & truly love#hard to let go when your love was real#my heart aches with love but my mind knows I have to let go & itâs the worst battle ever cause I donât want to know I have to#I hate it here#like why this way#couldâve just left peacefully & then move on#I donât get the cheating game it makes no sense#people are who they are#either the secrets told of his last I shouldâve known better but was blinded by love#I believed his words on marriage like a dummy cause I thought we believed the same
0 notes
Note
very classic but summoning a demon to fuck you and he gets a little obsessed đ
Imagine Himbo Demon was one day just casually going about his business, torturing a mortal with the agonizing act of small talk when suddenly a flash of white explodes across his vision. The next thing he knows heâs standing in a magical circle of your own design and he canât get out.
You ask if heâs an incubus and thatâs when he notices the book in your hand, âHow to Summon Incubi With Your Friends: The Party Guide.â He also looks you over and notices how painstakingly pretty you are and thinks⊠he could be an incubus.
That night he has what he claims as the best sex of his eternal life, no doubt about it. The way your body moved as you rode him within an inch of his life made him swear he was being taken back to heaven. The way you tasted sweeter than the finest nectar till it burned permanently into his senses. Every last bit of you was addicting.
When the summoning spellâs time was coming to a close, the demon actually felt an ache at the idea of leaving you and your sweet, sweet holes. He tried to reach for you once more but with a flash of white he was back in hell. His heart and his cock aching for you.
The minute he can heâs scouring hellâs library for the book he saw in your grasp. He reads it like a man possessed, ironically, looking for the spell you mustâve used.
As heâs reading the book, an Incubus just so happens to look over at him. Sensing eyes on him he looks up and their gazes meet. The Incubus reads the cover of the book he has and his eyes widen. He begins slowly inching away from Himbo Demon before turning and quickly rushing off.
Himbo Demon tilts his head, curious as to why the Incubus gave such a reaction. But after a moment of brief confusion, he goes back to reading the book. His eyes brightening as he finds the spell.
That night he clumsily performs the spell. His mind foggy with lust. His cock red, angry, and dripping with precum as he thinks about drowning in your holes, lapping up your essence like itâs the only food heâll ever need and then fucking you until youâre raw and swollen, only to soothe any pain with his tongue.
Himbo demon growls, reaching down and lazily stroking his cock with one hand and performing the spell with the other. Somehow by a true miracle, it works. He appears back in the same fading circle he appeared in last time. His eyes ignite with feral need and his gaze flickers around the low-lit room before a door opens and you come waltzing in wearing nothing but a towel.
âMiss me, baby?â He snarls in excitement, knowing now he has a way to keep coming back to you.
You yelp, jerking back against the wall in surprise. Not expecting the demon to be here again but youâre not exactly upset about it either. Himbo Demon smiles wickedly, but in truth heâs just so happy to see you! He moves at the speed of lightning and heâs on you in an instant. His tall lithe body caging you in against the wall. You exhale shakily, your body tingling with need and your belly churning with arousal as you glance down at his fat cock bobbing and dribbling with his own arousal.
The scent of you floods Himbo Demonâs senses and he growls, fangs flashing in the moonlight that peaks in from the window. Feeling beyond thrilled that the spell worked. That he can go to you whenever he feels like it now. So long as you keep the summoning circle up, that is. But heâs too focused on your new easy access to even try and realize that.
âDonât worry, sweet human. Iâve found my way back to you and your glorious body. From now on we shall never be parted and I can properly fuck your weak mortal shell ragged as much as I desire. And there is much⊠much desire,â Himbo Demon rasps heatedly, looking down at you with a fire in his eyes.
Before you can even think to respond, the demon is shredding your towel into two, revealing your body to him in all its glory. He barely takes the time to appreciate the view and suddenly heâs pressing into, rubbing his length along the height of your belly.
And you know this is the start of a wild adventure. One youâre sure is bound to last more than another night.
#monster fucker#monster smut#monster lover#monster lust#exophelia#teratophillia#monster fluff#monster romance#monster fic#monster imagine#monster bf#monster boyfriend#demon smut#demon fucker#demon lover#demon boi#demon man#demon boy#demons#demon#demon oc#demon bf#demon boyfriend#yandere smut#yandere demon x reader#demon x reader#demon x human#demon x you#monster x gn reader#monster x reader
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
10 Minutes
Bucky Barnes x Female Reader: One Shot (Smut)
Summary: Bucky is a little desperate for some alone time during one of Stark's parties, and ten minutes is all he needs.
Word Count: 2.2k (no mention of Y/N)
Warnings: Profanity, drinking, unprotected sex, praise, oral (male receiving), slight exhibitionism (bathroom at a party), MINORS DNI!
A/N: I kinda took a break from writing because I had a lot of unfinished fics, but I'm slowly starting to get back into it. And thank you for 300 followers on here! I can't believe there's that many people of you who actually like my writing :)
Masterlist
-
âThatâs gotta be what, your sixth drink?â You giggled, watching as Bucky polished off another glass, âdonât you wanna slow it down a little?â
With a smirk, he set the empty crystal on the countertop. âWorried Iâll have too much and do something to embarrass you, sweetheart?â
âYou could never embarrass me, James,â you rolled your eyes, âand you also canât get drunk.â
âSânot gonna stop me from trying,â he grinned, ânow come here..â
Wrapping his arm around your waist, he pulled you into his side before you could give an answer. Not that you minded â you didnât need an excuse to be as close to him as possible. You nestled your head in the crook of his neck, breathing in the heavy aftershave that he wore. It was your favourite scent. The musk from it mixed with the spice of the whiskey on his breath as it fanned across your cheeks. It was intoxication in the best way possible, superseding the several glasses of liquor that youâd consumed yourself.
âThere is something else, if you think you can handle it.â
In your own little bubble, it was easy to forget that the two of you werenât alone. Breaking your gaze away from Bucky, you saw one of your teammates making his way over to you with a delicately engraved bottle in his large hand.
âHi Thor,â you smiled politely, âwhat is that?â
He held the bottle up proudly. âAsgardian liquor, the finest brewed there. It puts everything here on Midgard to shame.â
âI bet.â You chuckled.
âIâll take that as a challenge.â Bucky grinned, stepping away from you momentarily to join Thor and some of the others in a round.
You folded your arms across your chest as you shook your head. The super soldier serum might stop his body from reacting to alcohol in the typical way, but it did have a particular effect on Bucky. You couldnât help but notice how he always seemed to get that little bit more handsy with you. Maybe it was a placebo effect, or maybe that was just an excuse to keep you close to his wandering hands.
Either way, barely twenty minutes had passed before your observation was proven true.
Your shoulder leaned against the back wall as you watched Steve and Tony play pool when Bucky joined you.
âWhereâve you been?â he murmured, âI was looking for you.â
His metal hand drifted up your side, tracing the hem of your shirt and slipping underneath to graze your hip. The metal raised goosebumps on your warm skin, and you shivered further back into his arms.
âBucky, stop⊠what if someone sees?â You whispered.
Bucky didnât ease up, rubbing soft circles on your hip as he drew you in closer. âItâs okay, nobodyâs looking at us.â
You glanced around. The loud music masked your hushed whispers, and the addition of Thorâs Asgardian liquor had worked wonders on the team of superheroes. With all of their defences down, no one had noticed the way the pair of you had sidled off to the side.
âWe shouldnât risk it.â You whispered, reaching for his hand and stopping it in its tracks.
âLetâs get out of here, just for a little bit,â he leaned in, pressing his lips to your jaw. The gentle ghost of his breathy murmurs in your ear sent your heart racing, âten minutes, thatâs all I need.â
âAre you really suggesting that we hook up in the middle of the party?â Your head tilted in a mixture of curiosity and surprise.
âWhy not?â Bucky pouted. His lips looked so damn kissable when he did that. The thought of giving in, tugging his bottom lip between your teeth in a frantic need to satisfy the urge that you were starting to feel right now was starting to not seem like such a bad idea.
âBecauseâŠâ Your voice trailed off in search of a compelling reason. Even the slightly hint of doubt would signal a dead giveaway to Bucky that you were more than willing to give in. And the worst part of it was the stupid grin on his face that told you he knew this too.
âBecause?â He taunted, his smirk growing wider.
âBecauseâŠâ The agitation in your voice grew as you struggled.
Bucky chuckled darkly, letting his right hand meet his other at your waist. He turned you slightly, until your back was against his chest. Grip tightening, he pulled your hips back into his. Pressed flush against him, you became all too aware of the way his tight, muscular body felt against yours. And that wasnât the only thing.
âBucky, are you-â
âPainfully.â He whispered, leaving another soft kiss just below your ear. Your head fell back to rest against his shoulder. Lips parting, a quiet whimper escaped from them. Bucky tucked a curl behind your ear to lean in better, âWhat was that that I just heard, hm? You can resist all you like, doll. But your bodyâs betraying you.â
He was right of course, but you bit your bottom lip anyway in an attempt to prevent yourself from letting another sound slip. The more you tried to hide your growing desires, the more Bucky persisted. His hand slid down your hip to the hem of your skirt. He played with the material, gently grazing his fingers across the back of your thigh that was now exposed to him. Instinctively, your legs clenched as he dared to venture higher.
Bucky chuckled under his breath. âBite your lip all you want. But what are you gonna do when you start to soak through your underwear and all over that pretty outfit of yours?â
Your face burned red as your gaze immediately fell downwards. Searching the front of your dress as discreetly as you could, your shoulders relaxed when you found that you hadnât. But your reaction alone was enough to let Bucky know that you considered it a real possibility.
âDid I have you worried there for a second?â he mocked, âYou know Iâm right. Come on⊠ten minutes.â
âTen minutes.â You said through gritted teeth.
âYes maâam.â He smirked, gripping your hand and pulling you out of the room.
It was a wonder that you made it to the bathroom at all. His hands were everywhere. Running through your hair, on your waist, cupping your cheek. But yours were the same, only pulling away just long enough to fumble with the bathroom door. It pushed open, and you both crashed through.
With a hand on his chest, you pushed him back to lean on the door. His eyes widened in at your sudden control, but who was he to stop you? Ripping the hand towel down off the rail by the sink, he dropped it to the floor to cushion you as you sank to your knees in front of him. You toyed with the zipper of his jeans, slowly pulling them and his boxers down in one as you pressed soft kisses to each inch of his bare skin that you exposed.
Bucky let out a tormented groan from the back of his throat as your tongue teased up to the head of his cock. He looked down at you and nearly buckled at the sight. Your hand gripping his thigh, hair messy and lipstick smudged. He watched your wet lips twist into a soft smirk that was so close to wrapping around him.
âWhen you said painfully, I had no idea this is what Iâd done to you.â You cooed, innocently sliding your palm up and down his length.
Bucky hissed at the sensation and reached out to tilt your face up to look at him. His fingers were firm on your cheeks. âWeâre down to nine minutes. You gonna keep talking with that sweet mouth, doll, or do you want to put it to good use?â
He didnât have to ask twice. His tip grazed the back of your throat in one smooth motion. But you didnât let it rest. You moved your head back and forth, letting your tongue trace over every vein. Buckyâs hand slid up from your jaw to cup your cheek, pulling you further around him as he met your movements with shallow thrusts. His view of you faded as his eyes squeezed shut, revelling in the overwhelming pleasure you were bringing him. The two of you mightâve set a time limit on this brief rendezvous but fuck he could let you go on like this forever.
Head falling back against the door with a soft thud, he growled. The animalistic sound ripped through his gritted teeth as he tugged your head back and off him. Pre cum lingered on your lips as you licked them clean.
Reaching for your hands he helped you to your feet and wasted no time in pressing his lips to yours. He walked you backwards until your bumped into the sink. Reaching for your thighs, he lifted you up to rest on the countertop. Your skirt slipped and bunched up around your waist as you wrapped your legs around his waist. He leaned in, nudging himself between your legs. Gentle whines slipped out from your trembling lips as he brushed over your wetness.
âBuckyâŠâ You begged softly.
âI know, baby, I know,â he murmured, sliding your underwear over to one side, âseven minutes.â
Bucky pushed his hips forward to meet yours, burying himself completely in you. His head dropped to the crook of your shoulder and his lips met your neck. Your arms curled around his broad back, scrunching up the material of his shirt as you clung desperately to him. Soft grunts from him reverberated up into your ear as he pulled out of you only to get sucked right back in by your tight cunt. With one hand on your hip and the other on the edge of the sink, he kept you in position to take it all. Every stroke inside of you had you clenching down around him. His knuckles turned white as his fingertips pressed harder into your skin with each sharp thrust.
âSuch a good girl, letting me fuck you with all our friends in the next room,â he muttered between delicate nips at the skin just below your ear, âand you had the nerve to act like you didnât want this just as much as I did.â
Your hands moved up through his hair and down to the sides of his face as you leaned in, lips met his in a needy fashion. The kiss that followed was all-consuming, swallowing any quiet moans that might give the pair of you away. But shallow breaths slipped out here and there as Bucky rolled his tongue over yours in passionate frenzy.
He pulled on your hip until your body slipped closer to the edge of the sink, and you let out a small gasp. As Buckyâs lips parted from yours, he smirked at the fucked-out haze that glazed over your eyes as his cock rutted up deeper inside of you. As he quickened the twitch of his hips, your thighs tightened around his waist.
âKeep that up, and I wonât be able to pull out, doll.â He grunted softly.
Your brows furrowed as your head leaned back in a wave of pleasure. You werenât listening to a damn word he was saying right now. Buckyâs hand left your hip briefly to tilt your head back to him.
âIs that what you want? Want me to fill you up and fuck it back into you hard enough that it doesnât leak out for everyone to see?â
Too out of it to verbally respond, your thighs gave him a light squeeze and answered for you. Buckyâs hand let go of your face and reaffirmed its position on your hip as he then set a ruthless pace. Your head slipped forwards to rest on his shoulder. Burying your face in the crook of his collarbone, your moans vibrated against his throat, driving him crazy. You let your body go limp in his hands as he worked to bring you both a release that the pair of you desperately craved.
Two more thrusts was all it took to bring you both over that delicious edge. His metal hand nearly snapped a porcelain chunk out of the counter with how hard he was gripping it when he came. But you were only the same, with your thighs shaking and breathing heavy. You fluttered around him with every beat of your heart, squeezing every drop of come out of his cock that he had to give you. He lazily rocked his hips a couple more times, coating every inch inside of you.
Buckyâs hands released your body from his tight grip as he gently brushed strand of messy hair out of your face, but he kept himself seated.
âYou canât tell me that wasnât worth it.â He breathed.
Your pink cheeks pinched into a soft smile. âMaybe it was.â
âMaybe, huh?â He raised an eyebrow, not hesitating to lean into your neck.
âWhat are you doing?â You giggled as you felt his gentle kisses.
âWhat? Iâve still got one minute left.â He grinned playfully, trailing kisses up your cheek now as well.
âBucky.â You whined, feeling his cock teasingly plunge deeper inside of you. Your sensitive body could barely handle any more.
âFine,â he smirked, and slowly eased himself out of you, âbut when this partyâs over, Iâm done holding back.â
#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes#bucky barnes one shot#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes smut#bucky smut#bucky x you#james bucky buchanan barnes#the winter soldier#bucky barnes au
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
rafe x kook!sweetheart!reader ; the one where rafe meets your parents
a/n: inspired by this !reader
âi love you, rafey,â you say, standing on your tippy toes to kiss him. "you look very handsome. my parents are going to love you." that's a total lie, but you're not going to get in an argument before he meets your parents.Â
"stop lying, your parents hate me," rafe says, rolling his eyes. he's not lying, after your dad found out that you were in a relationship with the kook prince, who is also known for his drinking, drugs, and his many parties, he was furious to say the least. "your dad better not piss me off because i'm not in the mood," rafe says looking in the mirror checking himself out. âbut you do look sexy, baby. we might need to stay here and have a little fun," rafe pulls you in, lowering his hand down your back before grabbing your butt and licking his lips (in a very attractive way).
"baby stop we have to get going," you moan as rafe kisses all over your neck. "my parents are expecting us at 4 and it's already 4:30."
"don't blame me," rafe says with a final kiss and a playful smack on your butt. "you're the one who wanted to shower together." as he finishes adjusting his suit, rafe grabs his keys and takes your hand, gently guiding you toward the door. "come on princess, before i rip your clothes off and spend the night up in that movie room."
giggling, you follow rafe to his car. he gives you a playful pinch on the hip as he opens the door for you, then quickly shuts it before hurrying around to the other side. the drive is brief, considering heâs practically your neighbor.
as you arrive, your housekeeper, maid, and butler are all outside, awaiting your arrival. "hello, miss y/n and mr. cameron. mr and mrs. are waiting for you inside," your butler says, opening your car door and offering his hand, which you graciously take with a quick 'thank you.' despite coming from a wealthy background, rafe had never fully experienced life with so many staff members working within a household.
"come on, rafe," you say, pulling his clammy hands. though he'd never admit it, rafe was definitely nervous. your dad was far more powerful than ward ever was. "my dad will try to intimidate you, but remember, his princess always gets what she wants. and what I want is you."
grateful for your words, rafe kisses the side of your head, murmuring a soft 'thank you, bunny.' as you step into the grand foyer, your pomeranian rushes to greet you, pawing at you excitedly until she spots rafe and starts pressing her paws against him. rafe, not one for animals, picks her up and hands her off to the butler.
not a second later, your parents come around the corner. your mom is smiling, but your dad wears a scowl as he fixes his gaze on rafe.
"yay, my princess is home!" your mom exclaims, rushing toward you as her Givenchy dress glides across the floor. rafe watches in awe as your mom embraces you, realizing where you get your beauty from. sheâs every bit the goddess you are, with a shared love for luxury. both of you indulge in the finest clothes, regular pedicures and manicures, spontaneous blowouts, sensual pefumes, and rigorous workout routines. yet, despite your lavish lifestyle, you both have countless acts of charity under your beltsâwhether it's volunteering at soup kitchens or distributing food around the Cut, you do it together, and enjoy it.
"daddy, i missed you," you say, releasing your mom and running to your dad, who already has his arms open wide. rafe does a double take, thinking you were talking to him, until he realizes youâre addressing your actual dad. "hereâs the love of my life, rafe cameron," you say, letting go of your dad after a few seconds and pulling rafe toward your parents.
"itâs so nice to meet you both," rafe says, deepening his voice and firming his grip as he reaches out to shake hands. "y/n speaks so highly of you two, I feel like I already know you." your mom, ever the sweet soul, smiles warmly, slapping his hands aside and pulling him into a hug. "itâs nice to meet you too," she says. rafe had never experienced a motherâs embrace like this. he sighs in relief, savoring the moment before turning to shake hands with your father.
for a moment, your dad looks sternly at rafe, but then he glances at your sweet smile before turning back to rafe. a smile breaks across his face. "welcome to the family, son," your dad chuckles. "iâm not a fan of you or your reputation, but you make my daughter happy, thatâs what matters most to me." rafe exhales in relief, shaking your dadâs extended hand.
you glance at rafe's smile and then at your parents, feeling your heart warm at the affection theyâre showing each other. in that moment, you know deep downâhe is the one.
later in the night, you all sit down for dinner. before the meal, your mom teases you with childhood photos, while your dad gives rafe a lecture about some lacrosse match. after dinner, despite your protests, your parents insisted that rafe stay, which made rafe and you have a very fun sleepover. ;)
#rafe imagine#rafe obx#rafe cameron#obx fic#outerbanks rafe#rafe outer banks#obx#rafe fic#rafe#rafe x you#rafe x reader#rafe x y/n
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Red Hood climbs up onto a roof with the intention of watching some drug smugglers below, only to find Robin, crouched in the perfect hiding space Jason had noticed. The boy is eating fries from a curled down Batburgers bag and sipping a Riddler Shake.
Jason: What are you doing here, Boy Wonder?
Tim: Probably the same thing you are. Spying on criminals.
Jason: ...
Tim: Want some fries? They're Jokerized, just to warn you.
Jason: Why?
Tim: Kon-El got some to try the last time he sneaked into Gotham and it turns out they're really good.
Jason: No, why would you offer me fries?
Tim: I have enough to share and I can always buy more?
Jason: Why are you being nice to me?
Tim: I'm offering fries, not a kidney. Why wouldn't I?
Jason: Because of the knife to the throat or, you know, that time I beat you within an inch of your life?
Tim: ...
Jason: ...
Tim: What the fuck was your time as Robin like?
Jason: The fuck?
Tim: A mentally unstable individual violently attacked me because he was scared or mad at Batman. That's like a bi-monthly occurrence for me, minimum. At least you were really insane and want to get better now-
Jason: I never said I wanted to stop killing.
Tim: I said get better. You want to be in control of yourself instead of being all Lazarus crazy, right?
Jason: Yes. But that doesn't mean I won't kill.
Tim: That's still wanting to get better. You think half the rouges who rotate through Arkham are actually trying to get better by even that much?
Jason: No.
Tim: Me, either. So that makes you an improvement over the usual. Plus, you know, the trauma from being murdered and all.
Jason: That's not an excuse to attack a kid.
Tim: No, but it's an explanation, which, again, is better than the usual. And you're showing signs of genuine remorse. That's huge around here. How often do we get that?
Jason: Anyone ever tell you your standards are kinda fucked up?
Tim: They'd have to pay closer attention for that.
Jason: Fucking what?
Tim: Doesn't matter. It's not like you're going to talk to anyone and even if you did, who'd believe you?
Jason: ...
Tim: So, you want some fries?
Jason: Yeah, sure.
Jason: These are good.
Tim: Right?
Jason: Is this nori?
Tim: Uh-huh; with paprika, kosher salt, and msg. I think there might be something else in there, but I haven't been able to place it.
Jason: Potato starch.
Tim: Oh, that makes sense.
Jason: I am definitely Jokerizing my fries from now on.
Tim: Try them with the Riddler Shake, too. The mint really compliments them.
Jason: I'll do that.
Tim: Wait. Doesn't that guy work for Black Mask?
Jason: Yes, he does.
Tim: So...want to pull a World's Finest?
Jason: A what?
Tim: You know, a team-up?
Jason: You-? Fucking- You know what? Sure. Let's pull a World's Finest. *under his breath* Little freak.
#dc#comics#funny#ficlet#fanfiction#bat family#bat brothers#batpups#Jason Todd#Tim Drake#Tim Wayne#Red Hood#Robin
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
In my opinion, the butt jokes are incredibly incredibly tired.
So here are several fun facts about Dick that you can use for comedic effects/running jokes instead:
His hatred of Capes. Listen we are talking about Dick wore a yellow cape for 9 to 10 years in universe Grayson. The moment he changed his costume, he straight refused to ever wear a cape again, the only time he had to wear one, it was as Batman and it was very very frustrating for him.
You know that when he watched the Incredibles with Lian and Roy or Damian and Edna Mode came on screen with her hatred of capes, this was his reaction:
Someone else finally understand him. She instantly became his favorite character.
His tendency to put unknown substances/evidence in his mouth and being able to identify it by taste and his knowledge of what Heroin taste like (yep still not over it).
It's both impressive (the fact that he can actually identify something by taste alone is impressive) and gross and even his closest friends don't understand why he is the way that he is, Do we think it's the Bat training or do we think it's just Dick (tm)... I feel like it has to be just Dick, right ? considering everything in Gotham is a toxin of some kind ? How many heart attack do we think he gave both Bruce and the Titans with that ?
Dick Grayson namer of superhero things: Listen, I just learned that Dick named the Arrowcave and now I just kinda love the idea of a running joke that every time a classic superhero in contact with Robin has a goofy name for something superhero related, it probably comes from the 9 year old superhero who thought it sounded cool.
The Titans are never letting that go and Dick doesn't want to talk about it (but he secretly still really like the names, they were cool when he was 9 and pretty practical when you think about it, thank you very much).
Everyone has a crush on him (tm): Honestly it is pretty funny that everyone and theirs entire family have a crush on Nightwing (and also pretty consistent canon since Raven in ntt). The reaction of the batfam is annoyed because that's gross, it's Dick, theirs brother/son, and the Titans are amused (Donna, Vic, Garth and maybe Wally) or maybe sorta part of the people who have had a crush on him (Kory obviously , Roy, Raven).
You do need to be careful with that, but I think if you do the opposite of what DC is usually doing, you'll be fine.
Also you can also includes the disastrous first date with supergirl in that. She also had a crush on him and they date was so horrible that he considered changing superhero identity because it was so embarrassing (truly one of the greatest plot-point on Superman/batman world finest honestly and this series is genuinely my favorite modern/current series)..
His petty side when he doesn't like someone: Listen, Dick has a petty side, ask Helena circa Outsiders (2003), Talia (always), Jason circa the late 2000s (Morrison era) and Azrael (also always). When he doesn't like people but has to work with them, he is going to be a little shit because they have to know he doesn't like them. it's important. and the comedic potential of Nightwing, one of the most competent, known and admired hero of the community being so petty is excellent. 10 out of 10, I need him to work with someone he hates again just for the fun of it.
The last one is just an headcanon and do not have basis in canon as far as I know:
Sometimes, as an adult, Nightwing says Holy shit in front of a classic superhero and that superhero does a double take because they are so used to him saying Holy goly batman (and that include Batman).
#dc#dc comics#the opposite of what dc is doing is this: don't make the people who do have said crush harass him or kiss him without his consent#dick grayson#nightwing#batman#roy harper#robin#the titans#dcu
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
How they proclaim their love for you
(lover/partner/future spouse)
This reading is about how the person you have in mind would proclaim their love for you. You can consider these as their mini love affirmations
Disclaimer : cheesy edition
This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.
Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, Iâd love to know đ
About me | Masterpost Book a reading with me - KO-FI (Read this post : personal reading)
CUBE 1
âą Let's take all our time in this world. There's no need to rush. Time? It might not even exist for us. We have escaped time.
âą You sent an electric shock down to my core and I still find myself standing. Stronger than ever. Like a machine getting its fuel.
âą Our language is of moonlight, fluttering wings, laughter of the stream, cloudy scents of flesh.
âą Our lips kiss through the air with words.
âą Actions speak louder and we are loud in our actions.
âą My mind is spinning, soaring then diving, goes a hundred miles around then comes back, struggling to take you all in.
âą This dark corner is our playground.
âą I'm in hardworking mode when it comes to our connection. I have lofty goals. Let's work hard together.
âą We look like kids when we're out into the outside world together. People ask whether we are friends? We are best friends, whether we are lovers? We are best lovers, whether we're having fun? Nothing is more fun and more serious.
âą I have fears, but when I open my mouth, I don't let them escape. But you helped them get out. Is this a prison break for them or for me?
âą My mind keeps going back and forth from past to future and you're there, in all of them.
CUBE 2
âą Here, take my money. What's mine is yours.
âą Do you know the plot where one character is thrown into a dire situation, and somehow, the other one character will come to their rescue. That's me, I'm the one rescued, by you.
âą After winter is spring, time goes on, seasons change, I have you with me to witness that together.
âą I've become greedy. Wanting to possess every minuscule expression of yours. If I would just freeze them in time.
âą Do you see those wild beasts outside the window? And here we are, snuggle comfortably in our home, safely. The light of our home attracted those beasts, they're outside, cold and hungry. Our home will welcome them, but they won't be able to come in as their old shells. They will come in as happiness, transformed.
âą I fall in love fast and then I keep it slow.
âą I love giving you a bath, bubbling up your hair, seeing water running on your skin then later drying your hair for you and smelling the fresh shampoo scent. Aromatherapy at its finest.
âą There's this need growing in me, and I can feel it growing in you too, we share some parts of ourselves with each other. This need is big, it's overwhelming, it makes my heart feel a tugging pain, it animates my body, giving me energy. It's the need to be, to stay alive, so that I can be together with you.
âą I know all the right words yet feel like a fool with you.
âą I imagine myself a parent, coming home to see our kids fighting, then I will act as a mediator, coming in to lecture them. I look forward to this scenario more than the promotions of my career. Biggest achievement.
âą Thank you for letting me love you.
CUBE 3
âą Loving you feels like second nature for me, something I've done so many times already, everything in me just do it automatically.
âą We definitely have met before. Did we share past lives together? You look so familiar, like the ghost in my dreams, the daydreams in my head, the face of a character in those novels I read.
âą My soul is a trapped pool, I would use my bare hand to scoop out all the dirt and monsters from it, take a cupful of water, boil it over and over again until it transparently pure, keep it warm or ice it the way you like then present it to you.
âą I stand firm on this earth, confident that I have someone to come back to.
âą Our hearth is the most sacred place to me. I would put offering before it, just like how people of bygone days worshipped at the god altar.
âą I will keep it warm and nourishing for you.
âą Never fear.
âą Our lifetime together will blink by so fast, I'm already missing it. But have no fear, it won't end.
âą We navigate this path so well that we're definitely professional travellers.
âą Change of places, change of jobs? Doesn't matter, I can go along with everything, as long as there's no change of hearts.
âą We've travelled from faraway lands to each other and we will continue to travel together.
âą I wish you could read my mind and feel my heart, and I could do the same for yours, it would save a lot of time and misunderstanding.
âą This is just the beginning.
CUBE 4
âą I will tell you "I love you" everyday. Make that a checklist.
âą If you and I went to the same school, you would be my high-school sweetheart, the one that I would secretly gush about in little notes, the one that I would absentmindedly draw a heart next to your name.
âą Even if we were continents apart, I still feel you next to me, every waking moment and every sleepy dream.
âą You fill my throat with sweet sweet love dripping down so much I feel like I can't breathe.
âą I love you.
âą I can't speak! Tongue tied. Unlock me. But then, if the door is open, I'm too shy to step out.
âą In sickness and in health.
âą I feel a part of myself went missing whenever you're not here.
âą Your pain makes me bleed.
âą This is new to me, I don't know what to do. Help me, teacher.
âą I probably have a malfunction somewhere in the system to be acting like this. What have you done?
âą You are love personified.
âą Life has been good since you came to me. But it also has been exceptionally difficult for me to stay alone.
âą I have imagined countless times how you would hold my younger self in your arms and feel soothed by them. I may not get to feel it in the past, but I will feel it now, for my past self, my present self and my future self.
#pick a card#pick a pile#tarotblr#witchblr#crystal reading#lithomancy#tarot reading#future spouse#divination#tarot#tarot community#witch community#astro#astrology readings#astro community#astrology#spirituality#crystals#astroblr#tarot witch#love reading#occult#pick a stone
616 notes
·
View notes
Text
ROOKIE - LN
based on this request ⧠my inbox is open for requests (or if u just want a chat!) â§
warnings - none! just fluff (not proofread), oblivious reader and lando
part 2 !!
masterlist the playlist
the sun was shining brightly over the racetrack, casting on the 4 karts, lined up behind the group. max stood behind the camera, making sure everyone was in frame before running round to join Lando. at his other side stood y/n - long term friend of the two, and unofficial quadrant member.
lando flashed a wide grin at the camera.
âhey, everyone!â he announced, clapping his hands together, âwelcome back to the quadrant channel. today, we have something special for you. me and max are going to teach our karting rookie here how to drive on a track like a pro,â he add, hands moving to gesture in y/n direction.
she smiled, waving awkwardly at the camera. it wasnât her first time featuring on the channel, but she usually made small appearances when the whole team filmed. at the start, viewers had assumed she was landoâs girlfriend, noticing the way the two interacted with each other. but she wasnât - not to say there wasnât anything between the two of them, but they were just too stubborn to talk about it.
âyou nervous?â lando asked her, smiling lightly.
âno different to driving a car right?â she replied, smiling back at him.
ânot the way you drive, i guess,â he retorted, earning a light slap to his arm.
âso!â max started, clapping too as he faced the camera, âweâre starting y/n off in the lowest powered kart, and working our way up. when sheâs comfortable, weâre going to have a small competition,â he added, his tone holding emphasised mystery.
it was y/n turn to speak to the camera.
âdo i also need to clap when i start my sentence?â she asked max, grinning as she did. y/n could see niran burst into laughter behind the camera, all too familiar with the âwho claps the mostâ argument.
âsorry, sorry,â she jokingly defended, holding up her hands when she caught max and lando both giving her a look filled with distaste. she turned back to the camera, âwe will be seeing if the student really becomes the master, as i take on lando in a time-trialled race.â
the group moved closer to the first kart, y/n zipping up the rest of her protective clothing as they moved, balancing her helmet in the crevice of her arm.
âright, helmet on!â lando told her, though he moved to tuck loose hairs, that had fallen from her ponytail, behind her ears before grabbing the helmet from her, pushing it over her head. his hands rested on the side for a moment, wobbling her head slightly before moving to pop the visor up and look her in the eyes.
âcomfortable?â he asked her, watching as she nodded, âready?â
she hesitated for a moment, before nodding again. y/n wasnât worried about injuring herself, no, she feared that she would do a bad job and the video wouldnât be a good watch.
âyouâll be fine, angel, i promise,â he reassured her, his fingers moving to pull the zip of her suit up further, âif not, we blame max,â he joked. the two of them looked at the man stood on the other side of the kart, who quickly turned his head as though he hadnât been watching the two interact, wondering when theyâd figure whatever this was out. though he didnât supposed it mattered, if this footage was left in the viewers would be quick to point it out, as they always did.
âitâs ok - if something bad happens, youâre the one that has to tell my mum,â y/n replied with a shrug, trying to grin despite her face being squashed.
âbagsy not me this time!â max called out.
ânot fair! i did it last time!â lando shouted back childishly.
âin maxâs defence, last time was your fault, lan,â y/n chimed in, patting his shoulder, âand all you did was leave a voicemail!â
âhiya, itâs lando - just letting you know y/n is in the hospital, but sheâs fine. probably,â max mimicked, recalling the way lando left quite possibly the worst voicemail anyone had ever.
ânot my finest moment, iâll admit,â lando replied quietly before trying to manoeuvre the woman in front of him towards the kart.
y/n moved to climb into the first kart, her hand gripping tightly at landoâs arm to use as support before she sat down fully. he squatted down next to her, max following suit on the other side, before explaining the basics to her - when to brake, when to speed up, when to take a corner wide.
âlast thing - the steering wheel,â he continued, making sure the mic could pick up his voice. his hands reached out to grab hers, placing them in the correct position on the wheel.
âwhat about the pedals?â she asked him.
âthe same as normal? acceleratorâŠ.brake?â he added, smiling as he pointed to each pedal as though it was obvious.
y/n nodded up at him, before grabbing the steering wheel and pretending to drive, making a âneeyowwwmâ noise as she did.
âsheâs fine,â max laughed out, âstrap her in and weâll get started. oh, y/n donât forget you have a the mic and the headset so we can communicate as you go round the track.â
âyouâre doing great!â landoâs voice sounded through her earpiece, full of encouragement, âbrake a little earlier for this next turn.â
y/n grinned, confidence growing with each lap. she was now onto the last kart, one lap left before she was supposed to race lando.
âhowâs that?â
âperfect! youâre a natural,â he praised, his pride evident.
âiâm gonna kick your ass,â she threatened as she neared the finish line.
âlooking forward to it,â lando remarked, this time in person as he stepped towards the side of her kart, â10 minute break before we race?â
âplease,â she replied, nodding up and moving her hands to undo the straps before pushing herself up to step out from the kart. her balance faltered slightly as she did, though landoâs arms had shot out, his hands gripping her waist to steady her as she stepped out from the kart. even when y/n was fine to walk alone, landoâs hands never left, his hand firmly positioned on her lower back as they walked towards max.
âhow was that,â max asked her, his eyes darting from lando to the woman who was struggling to pull her helmet off.
âreally good,â she replied with an enthusiastic nod once lando had helped to pull the helmet from her head, ânot sure on that last corner but weâll see how it goes.â
âseemed alright on that last lap,â max reassured her, though he couldnât help but notice the way lando looked at her face, smiling fondly as she explained how she might approach the race.
âright, it is finally time!â max called out, facing the camera as y/n took a seat in the kart behind him, âthe moment we have all been waiting for. lando norris, formula one racer versus karting rookie y/n.â
âkarting rooki- max i have so many better attributes to describe me?â y/n called out jokingly.
âsorry - lando norris, formula one racer versus ânine points on her licenseâ y/n!â he joked, âis that better?â
âNINE? i do not have nine points on my license?â she retorted, âitâs like 3?â
âitâs nine,â lando interrupted with a snort as he crouched down next to her to check her straps were tight enough, âtwo counts of speeding, and that one time you ran a red light - am i wrong?â he added with a grin.
y/n shook her head at him, though her silence confirmed his claim. the three moved on quickly, y/n finding herself breathing in sharply as lando pulled on the straps too hard, tightening them around her ribs.
âsorry,â he mumbled, loosening them slightly, âbreathe out fâme,â he added, checking that she had room, before muttering a quick perfect as she did.
anyone who believed lando would go easy on y/n was a fool. sheâd managed a good few overtakes, took corners well and maintained her speed, but as they approached the last lap lando seemed to slip further away. even with her foot to the floor, her kart was slowing more and more until the engine fully gave up, spluttering a few times before dying.
âwell this is embarrassing,â she announced, looking into the gopro attached to the kart as she did.
âhold still for a moment, y/n,â max said through her headset, âneed lando to stop before you can get out.â
so y/n sat, waiting for lando to stop so that she could climb out from the kart and do her walk of shame back to base. but she didnât have to wait long before she saw lando jogging towards her.
âyou good?â he asked her on approach, his helmet long abandoned with his kart.
âthe engine just died on me,â she told him, annoyed.
âi told max i thought i could hear it struggling when i passed you,â he told her, holding out his hand for her to climb out, âhowever, canât have you not finish your first ever karting race.â
âwhat?â
âclimb on,â lando told her, crouching slightly and tapping his back for her to climb on.
y/n didnât argue, she knew sheâd lose. so she stood behind him, bouncing slightly before jumping onto his back, his hands moving to grab her legs and her arms wrapping around his neck loosely. he started running towards the finish line, y/n clinging tightly onto him whilst mimicking car noises, lando laughing loudly as she did.
âyou two look like youâve been doing this for years,â max called out, breathing through his laughter at the sight in front of him.
âwe have,â they said in unison as they approached him. max knew this - he himself had fallen victim to giving y/n a piggyback a fair few times over the years - however it didnât make the situation less funny to him.
lando placed y/n down with a soft thud, before realising something, his eyes widening.
âwait who won?â
âwhat do you mean âwho wonâ?â she asked confused, âmy engine died, lando.â
âi didnât cross the line,â he whined, âi went to get you before i crossed it.â
âfunny you should ask,â max interrupted, using the opportunity to turn to the camera set up, âwe ran the VAR andâŠâ
âare you waiting for a drumroll orâŠ?â lando asked impatiently.
âdonât be mean,â y/n told him, slapping his arm lightly, âgod forbid you not be so competitive for once.â
âso!â max started again, knowing their bickering could last hours if he didnât interrupt, âwe ran the VAR and youâll be glad to know thatâŠ.y/n - your foot was the first to cross the line!â
âyes!â she cheered, pumping her fist dramatically.
âhow is that right? i was carrying her?â lando whined again.
âher foot was in front of you mate,â max laughed, âshouldâve tucked it behind you if you wanted to win so bad,â he added, shrugging.
âthat is the last time i do anything nice for you,â lando seethed jokingly, turning to face y/n before ruffling his hand through her hair to mess it up.
she dodged his hand quickly, head jerking sideways as she shouted at him.
âyouâre such a sore loser.â
âi am not.â
ârematch?â
#lando norris#lando norris x reader#lando norris smut#lando x reader#lando smut#lando norris imagine#lando norris fanfic#formula 1#mclaren f1#mclaren#lando norris fluff#propertyofwicked
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
coffee shop meet cute + Spencer Reid
    âHi! What can I get for you today?â You ask, not looking up from your tablet.
    âUhâŠâ
    You look up, a smile on your face. Your shift had just started and you had an astronomical amount of patience- you felt like it would be a good day the moment you woke up. When you looked up, your eyes widened. In front of you stood one of the finest, tallest, and smartest looking beanpoles that had ever came by your great auntâs quaint coffee shop.
    His bottom lip was caught between his astonishingly bright teeth as he scoured the paper in his hand. âSorry, Iâd like a⊠Iâm sorry, can I just give this to you? My friends sent me to get them coffee and IâŠâ he looked up. The manâs voice trailed off: his eyebrows relaxing on his face as his mouth dropped open in a little âoâ.
    Tilting your head slightly, you smiled. This guy was somehow smoking hot and adorable at the same time. âAnd youâŠ?â you prompted.
    He blinked. âIâm- Iâm so sorry! Uh, ca-can I just give this to you?â A hot pink Sticky-Note was offered to you that you excepted.
    Selfishly, you were happy there were no other clients in the cafĂ©- you wanted to interact with this guy as long as possible. âI can definitely do that for you,â you inform the man, typing in the order for a few of your usuals. âYour total is⊠$18.57.â
    âHere,â he tells you, handing you a twenty. You hand him his change and start working on the orders. Swiftly and methodically, you complete the four orders like clockwork.
    When you finally set down the coffees on the table, you are not surprised to see the hot guy still standing awkwardly near the till. âWould you like a carrier?â You ask.
    âPlease,â he answers with a nod. He takes the cardboard carrier and fits the cups snugly in the cupholders. âThank youâŠâ he reads the nametag on your apron, ây/n.â
    âYouâre welcomeâŠ?â
    âDr. Reid. Spencer- Spencer Reid,â he answers with a nod.
    âYouâre very welcome Dr. Spencer Red,â you tell Spencer with a sweet smile.
    It would be a lie if you said you werenât disappointed when Spencer gave you one last endearingly adorable smile and bid you goodbye. You watched his long legs carry him out of the building and busied yourself cleaning equipment until the bell rang and another customer came in and the world moved on.
    The bell rang- signaling a customer- and you frantically dried off your hands to tend to them.
    Words died on your tongue as the Dr. Spencer Reid strode up to the till while brushing his hair back. âI- Sorry if this is too forward- is there any way I can get your phone number? Iâd love to get dinner with you sometime- or coffee or lunch or whatever you want- and get to know you more? If not, I can- I can just leave, itâs no problem-â
    âSpencer,â you interrupted him gently. Red bloomed all over his face an ears as he visibly deflated as he waited for your reply. âIâd love to have dinner with you. I can write down my number for you.â You patted down your apron pockets for the pad of paper you kept for special orders.
    Spencer watched you with bright eyes. Your kind smile, voice, and demeanor had struck him breathless. You wrote down your name and phone number with a little heart and smiley face beside the last digit. You handed the slip of paper to him with a bashful smile. âThank you,â Spencer told you.
   You replied âyouâre welcomeâ with the same sly smile as moments before.
    âI- I need to go to work,â Spencer stuttered out to you after checking his watch. âIâll text you, y/n!â
    âIâll be waiting, Spencer!â You called out to him as he scrambled out the door.Â
    You were, in fact, right about today being good.
Bonus:
    âxxx-xxx-xxxxâ: Itâs Spencer from the coffee shop. Iâm in town if you want to get dinner tonight. :)
    âYouâ: Hi Spencer! Can i call you spence? Iâd love to get dinner tonight!
    âDr. Spencer Reid :)â: Call me anything you want. Does Italian sound good? I can pick you up or we can meet there.
    âDr. Spencer Reid :)â: Anything youâre comfortable with!
    âYouâ: Iâd love Italian :D
    âYouâ: Send me the address and time and I will be there!
    Morgan loomed over Spencerâs shoulder during the entire conversation. Deep down, Derek felt honored Spencer cared enough to ask him how to respond to you charismatically and that was proud his âlittle brotherâ was putting the moves on the ladies.
#sfw.kj#x reader#female reader#jules writes đđ#fluff#x female reader#spencer reid#criminal minds spencer reid#spencer reid criminal minds#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid headcanon#spencer reid fanart#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x oc#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid smut#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x self insert#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction
730 notes
·
View notes
Text
âThe Three of Usâ
-
Fully co-authored with: @precious-little-scoundrel
Thanks to: My incomparable co-author & sweetheart Marina, for being willing to follow this rabbit hole with me and explore this little trio! And for the gorgeous mood board and vibes, Iâm obsessed. And to Ashley, for being the best damn cheerleader we could ask for. â„ïž
Warnings: All the sex, 18+ only
Word count: 8k
-
Sometimes in Hollywood, magic happens behind the scenes - in a dark corner of Bar Lubitsch or a little poolside bungalow at the Chateau Marmont. Things that are only whispered about in certain circles or sent to Deuxmoi with the stipulation of âanon please.â The blurry flash of a hand, littered with telltale rings, on her Instagram story. The paparazzi photos of a drunken night out before the three of them disappeared into the balmy Los Angeles evening. The fandom set ablaze by rumors as they combed over every sign, every possibility, every look that they took for godâs honest truth. A myth in the making, never confirmed, never denied.
When a ballsy journalist had the gumption to ask Callum about the rumors some months down the road, he just grinned his Cheshire smile and shook his head, the slightest blush hinting at the corners of his already ruddy cheeks.
âNah, mate, canât believe everyfing you read in Hollywood, can ya.â A statement, no trace of question in his ice blue eyes as he licked his cherry lips and stared the journalist down, daring them to dig deeper. His heart may have started pounding a little too hard but only he knew that. Nothing belied the steely gaze he turned on the journalist - not a flex in his jaw or a slight blink or the whisper of a breath. Needless to say, that journalist had no desire to go toe-to-toe with all six feet two inches of Chelseaâs finest lad. They let the subject drop, though the air had already been sucked out of the tiny interview room. Callum noted with suppressed glee the way the journalist shifted in their seat uncomfortably, trying to regain the upper hand.
Serves ya right, ya wanker, floated through Calâs head and it took all his energy to focus his thoughts on the next question being asked of him. Now that the taboo subject had been brought up, he couldnât keep his mind from drifting back towards that fateful night, like the breach in a shipâs hull the memories flooded in. The soft give of her flesh beneath his fingers as he dug them into her hips, needing her closer, closer. The salty taste of Austinâs skin on his tongue as he dragged it slowly across his friendâs collarbone, the streak of wetness left behind shimmering in the moonlight. The mingled sighs and shared breaths, overpowering and heady in that dark little bungalow. That was the night he couldnât get out of his head, no matter how hard he tried. It didnât matter how many books he read or women he kissed or bloody hikes he took in Runyon Canyon, he was always going back to the night when everything changed.
-
âDidnât I see you at the Luchino Visconti retrospective a couple nights ago? At the Academy?â The very definition of tall, dark and handsome has just walked in the room, smiling down at you and waiting expectantly for your answer. This is Callum Turner, the new client youâre working with for Masters of the Air press (alongside Austin Butler, your regular client and current boyfriend-adjacentâŠguy. Itâs casual, youâre both keeping it casual. For now.).
âOh! Were you there? Wasnât it amazing?â you gush, a little flustered.
âItâs kind of rare to meet another Visconti fan. You must be one of the good ones.â He grins at you, all warmth and puppy dog eagerness. A kindred spirit, an instant connection. You would be very charmed by him, if you werenât already attached to someone else. Who are you kidding, youâre charmed by him anyway. Talking with him comes easily, and the time flies by as you style his hair, moisturize his skin, add a bit of concealer here and there. Heâs funny, sweet, intelligent. Austin has told you a bit about him, about his friend who helped him during one of the most confusing times of his life. But this - this is more than you were expecting. Heâs more than you were expecting. And youâre pretty sure heâs flirting with you. When he asks you out for a drink later, youâre absolutely certain. It is with no small amount of regret that you turn him down.
-
The first time you noticed something akin to a spark between the man youâd casually been dating and his co-star was during press interviews for their new television series, Masters of the Air. As Austin and Callumâs groomer and makeup artist, you were allowed a seat at the back of the room, near the video monitors, ready to jump into action if one of Austinâs curls needed to be twisted back into place or if Callumâs nose got too shiny and needed a bit of powder. You glanced up from your phone to see the two of them leaned so close together their shoulders touched, just barely. You couldnât hear what they were saying, but Callumâs mouth looked as if it might graze the shell of Austinâs ear, a smirk playing at the edges, as his dark, curly head bent conspiratorially towards his friendâs blonde one. Silly boys, you thought, smiling to yourself as you watched them. Youâd seen that look on Austinâs face beforeâŠit was almost one of⊠adoration.
Without warning your mind flashed back to last night, Austin gazing up at you through your thighs, a look of devotion on his face, his sandy hair ruffled and his eyes slightly dazed. The very same look that heâs now turned on Callum⊠Nah⊠You laughed at yourself quietly and shook your head to clear your thoughts, silently scolding yourself. Youâd been reading too many spicy novels recently and clearly your imagination was running wild. It made sense that he and Callum were close. Austin had been lost as a newborn calf without a mother after Elvis had wrapped and Masters of the Air had started filming. A brotherhood, thatâs what Austin had called it. And Callum had been his right hand man. And thatâs all, you were sure. Pretty sure.
-
Bar Lubitsch is dim and noisy, crowded with cast and crew of Masters for an impromptu celebration while so many of them are in town. Austin hasnât been here in years, always remembered it being a good time. He wants to show you and Callum a good time, after all the hard work you three have been putting in for press the past couple of weeks. That was two hours and three drinks ago, and you watch them now from your perch at the bar and how much they feed each otherâs souls, like displaced brothers, reunited after years apart. The evening is starting to shift and blur, so many drinks and people and noise and singing. You never knew Callum loved to sing so much, until he was singing karaoke at the top of his lungs and the whole bar was gathered around the little stage in the back room, jumping to the beat while he sang the most risquĂ© lyrics right to Austin, like they were the only two people in the room:
Even when the cold comes crashing through
I'm putting all my bets on you
I hope they never understand us
I put my heart inside your palms
My home in your arms
Now we know nothing matters
Nothing matters
And you can hold me like he held her
And I will fuck you like nothing matters
Youâre not sure youâll ever be over Callum pinching Austinâs cheeks, channeling his inner Egan, and singing right at him with drunken gusto while Austin is too tipsy to remember not to bask in it and itâs probably the cutest, and hottest, thing youâve ever seen. Itâs only afterwards that you start to feel a tiny flicker of jealousy. Thereâs something between them, a connection that time and distance hasnât untethered. Later, you drag Austin into one of the faded velvet booths, snuggling up to him as he pulls you into a one-armed embrace, kissing your temple with glassy eyes and a crooked smile. His heady mix of sweat and cologne mingle, along with the alcohol, and suddenly youâre lightheaded. Not to mention the fact that his soft lips have seemed to have move, with lightning speed, from your temple to your neck. You gently push him away, and he gives you a questioning look but you need to see his face when you ask him this.
âHeyâŠwhatâs going on with Callum? Because, itâs clearly something? And whatever it is, itâs ok, really it isâŠbutâŠI do have eyes, Austin,â you blurt out, biting your lip. You see a dozen different emotions cross his features, like a movie playing out in real time - surprise, guilt, defensiveness, longing, acceptance. His face goes all red and he leans his head back, his tan throat open and inviting, his Adam's Apple bobbing up and down as he swallows thickly. It takes everything in you not to kiss him right this second.
âItâsâŠcomplicated. Kind of,â he sighs as he stares up at the ceiling and you can tell he doesnât want to talk about it and thatâs answer enough for you. You donât push him further as you quietly turn his mouth to yours and make him forget anything and everyone but you.
-
âCome on Aus, itâll be just like old times,â Cal goads drunkenly, placing a proprietary hand on Austinâs belly, his words laden with meaning and a hint of pleading. Itâs not like heâs missed Austin or anythingâŠnot like that. Not that heâd admit anyway, hell no. Couldnât two dudes have a consensual thing and not be weird about it? It must be liquid courage that made him suggest it aloud. That and the fact Austin keeps looking at him like he hung the damn moon.
âSwear youâll shut up? If I say yes, will you justâŠchill?â Austinâs eyes are trained on you and it takes everything in him to play it cool, keep a calm head. Calâs hand is still on Austinâs stomach and he starts to pet him, just above the belt and it makes Austin lurch in sudden need. He licks his lips, theyâre suddenly parched, and swallows hard. He hears Cal snicker softly in his ear.
âNow, see, as I recall, you wouldnât stop asking me to keep sayinâ shit last time.â Callumâs voice floats above the music, scratchy from gin and karaoke, hot breath tickling the shell of Austinâs ear. His hand moves to squeeze Austinâs neck, and if Austin didnât know any better heâd swear it was a subconscious power move, Callum trying to literally bend Austin to his will. Thereâs an all too familiar twitch down Austinâs pant leg, and oh god he wishes- he thought, he was so sure, he was past that phase of responding like one of Pavlovâs dogs to Callumâs adoration and teasing.
Maybe itâs just the notion, his suggestion. Thatâs whatâs suddenly making Austinâs blood feel hot and his eyes hazy, itâs the idea of herâŠand him! But mostly her, just her, and sharing her and- None of that explains the way he wants to bend to that firm hand squeezing in drunken cajoling at the base of his neck, makes him want to knock noses and yank at the stupid collar of Callumâs sweater until thereâs collarbones to see and a draft under the wool. This is winter in Los Angeles, heating inside is state of the art, thereâs no reason for such coziness and itâs making the man sweat and all Austin can think of from the smell is memories of an English summer, worn out and floating in his own body, biting down on Callumâs upper arm, tangy, sweaty flesh to keep an awfully strange escapade quiet.
That does it. What is he even thinking? He mustâve drank more than he realized but then, oh god, there Cal goes, throwing his hands up in defeat, shrugging his shoulders like a kid caught trying to push his luck. The arm around his shoulder is suddenly gone, and heâd give anything to have it back again. He shakes his head - he really mustâve had too much to drink. It was making him melancholy and sobering him up fast. Funny how alcohol will do that to you.
âScouts honor, Butler, Iâll-Iâll-Iâll,â he seems to search the ceiling in drunken concentration for the correct wording most likely to open the doors to the kingdom, âIâll be- itâll be: HER, YOU and a um, uh mannequin. How âbout that, mate? Good enough for ya? Youâd probably like that, wouldnât ya? Ya little freak!â He lands a playful right hook to Austinâs jaw, hard knuckles digging into soft cheeks.
The usually inflammatory epithet of âfreakâ, coming as it does from a man begging for a threesome with himself and his girl, is nothing short of rabidly complementary. Callumâs shit-eating, triumphant grin could light up the whole damn room in this moment. He knows heâs got Austin right where he wants him and starts to count down silently in his head - threeâŠtwoâŠ
Austin finds himself grinning, a warning, measured thing but a condoning of the sentiment all the same.
âOne,â Cal says out loud, his arm going back around Austinâs shoulders, squeezing so hard Austin winces a little. Itâs a reflective motion then, done almost without thinking, when Austin slaps Callumâs thigh, not realizing thereâs a boner bent down that trouser leg. A wounded hiss leaves Callumâs lips as he caves in on himself a little bit and Austin freezes, his face turning crimson and he feels another twitch down his own trousers.
âSteady on mate,â Callum coughs, shaking a leg, trying to discreetly readjust. âAnd I thought I was the eager beaver here.â Austin wants to wipe that smirk right off Callumâs smug little face but the moment their eyes meet they canât help but start to laugh. Giggles, really, which turn into loud guffaws that has the whole bar turning to see what the commotion is about.
Your head whips around at the sound youâve grown to know well over the past few weeks, the loud and boisterous laughter of two friends who seem forget that anyone else exists when theyâre together. You spot them, huddled close as they always seem to be, and shake your head. A grin tugs at your lips and threatens to spill out the feelings fluttering around in your chest, no your stomach, noâŠsomewhere else, lower. Youâd be lying if you said you didnât think about the two of themâŠtogether. Sometimes youâre with them, sometimes youâre not, in these little fantasies of yours. You catch yourself biting your lip and staring at them a little too longingly. You wonder what theyâre saying now, both of them look flustered and awkward, just slightly. You can actually feel the tension rolling off of them in waves from where you stand across the bar.
Austin chooses that moment to look up and catch your eye. Thereâs a fire in his gaze that wasnât there earlier and what is that look on his face? Youâve never seen it beforeâŠshy and almostâŠguilty? He looks just like a little boy whoâs been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
Your eyes question him across the dim bar, an unspoken tether ties you together wherever you are, and uncertainty about the deal heâs just struck with Callum comes creeping in. What has gotten into him? Heâs just agreed to share you, with another man. And not just any man, one he has a rather interesting history with. The thought of Callum touching you, kissing you, fucking youâŠsuddenly heâs stone cold sober and beginning to regret letting Cal sway his decision. Because there sure as hell wonât be any take backs, not with Callum. Heâs like a dog with a bone once he gets what he wants.
-
âDude no, thereâs chemical flavoring in there, that shitâs bad for you and itâll give her irritation!â Austin looks slightly perturbed, not for the first time this evening. He sways slightly under the florecent lights of the drugstore, the constant buzzing adding to the pounding in his head.
âWhat if itâs not intended to go on her? Hmm? Thought of that Butler?â Callum murmurs under his breath, his eyes focused solely on the lube heâs holding, a pink blush creeping up his neck to his ears. Has a blush under drugstore fluorescents ever looked so lovely? And Austin hasnât stopped biting that lower lip since you walked into this place. It hasnât stopped him from grinning, though, his excitement bubbling through in little ticks and tells, the nervous turning over of the vaseline jar in his large hands.
âYou havenât even bought me dinner Cal, just straight to the flavored lube,â Austin bemoans, faking offense. ââSides, sheâs already sweet enough, arenât you baby? Iâve had my fair share of licks,â Austinâs shoulder bumps yours as he sends you a smoldering look, his eyes flickering down your body briefly before his cheeks turn a slight rosy color you can see blooming up from his chest through his open shirt collar.
âAustin!â you hiss, slapping his arm playfully and hiding your face in his neck, embarrassed.
âLeave it to you two twig Bettieâs and weâd be down to nothinâ but socks and coconut oil,â Cal snarks, not at all inaccurately.
âI donât remember you minding coconut oil last time,â Austin says under his breath, clearly meant for Callumâs ears only, but you manage to catch it, and your heart starts to pound at the implied meaning.
âMmm, and it was bitter so - mojito,â Callum says decidedly, leaving no room for argument. Austin smiles at you, lifting his shoulder in a shrug and rolling his eyes heavenward. You giggle nervously, wondering for the first time just what youâre getting yourself into.
âI saw that! Listen mate, feel free to shut me up at any time. This would do nicely, ya reckon?â Callum lifts a silk sleeping mask with one, long finger and swings it around seductively, waggling his eyebrows up and down comically. You laugh and the butterflies making a home in your ribcage start to settle down again.
-
The whimpers emanating from between your parted lips take you by surprise and you promptly shut your mouth, unexpectedly embarrassed to be mewling so wantonly. You bite your lip as it becomes harder and harder to hold them in with every slow thrust of Austinâs velvety cock filling you, his swollen tip hitting just the right spot, and every flick of Callumâs tongue as he laves at your tender little clit with vigor. You feel Austin tense slightly beneath you as Cal swirls his tongue down to your opening to lap at where you and Austin join, sloppy and wet. A soft moan floats past your left ear, Austinâs hot breath sending a shiver through you, and it seems to invigorate Callum as he doubles down on his efforts to have his tongue cover as much surface area as possible. He chuckles and it jolts through you as your back arches, your fingers finding his dark curls and yanking him closer, demanding something you arenât even aware of. He understands what you need even if you donât and as his lips close around your sensitive bud you can no longer keep quiet, keening softly. You practically buck off of Austinâs lap and his arm tightens around your waist to keep you in place. The harder Callum sucks, the more Austin starts to whine - youâve gotten so tight around him he can hardly thrust.
âOh fuck, whatâre you doing? CalâŠwhatâŠâ you slur as you pull at his hair, trying to dislodge him from your clit. You feel him grin against your heat as he slowly slips two fingers in you, resting them alongside Austinâs length. You hiss at the stretch and Austin starts to pick up his pace again. Your head is too hazy with pleasure to register fully what is happening as Callum gently slides another finger in next to the first two. His mouth works your clit, sucking and pulling, harder then soft again.
âMoreâŠmore more more,â you beg hoarsely. You feel as if you might fly away and the only thing anchoring you to earth are these two men and their hands and their mouths on your body. Callum cocks an eyebrow at you and his eyes shift to Austin. You feel him nod, barely, and then another burning stretch as Cal slips his pinkie in next to his other fingers. It drives you insane and you feel yourself clenching and coming, harder than you can ever remember. You stop breathing for a moment, your mind going numb with rapture as you come apart at the seams.
âOh fuck,â Austin whispers, biting your shoulder, his hand absentmindedly palming your breasts, pinching your hardened nipple. âCome on baby, I know youâve got more, give us another one. Cal, canât thrust with you in thereâŠgive me some room, huh?â
Callum letâs go of your clit with a wet pop and gently slides his fingers out. His nose and chin are shiny with your juices, even his eyebrows look a little damp and heâs grinning from ear to ear.
âGo on then, Butler, show us what you got.â He stands, knees popping as he does. From up here he can see your faces clearly, yours and Austinâs. He watches, rapt, as Austin nuzzles your neck, nipping at your earlobe as he speeds up his thrusts, toying with your nipples mercilessly. Your eyes flutter closed and your head drops back onto his shoulder. Callum shakes his head, dazed and pussy drunk - why was he on his knees so long?? He coulda been watching this the whole time? But he knows why- fresh, homegrown pussy. And he means to have his fill. He canât take being on the sidelines, watching Austin move in and out of you at a punishing pace, having all the fun. One of Callumâs massive palms descends onto your clit, slapping and rubbing cruelly, back and forth, faster and faster. And then youâre gushing everywhere, all over Callumâs hand and Austinâs cock and the bed, soaking everything.
âCome on then girl, give us all youâve got,â Cal encourages, his raspy voice driven to the point of hoarseness. He grabs his painfully hard, throbbing cock and roughly starts to slap your clit. You gasp, jerking in Austinâs arms as you fall apart again. And then Callum gets a thought, because his dick is doing most of the thinking just now, and itâs been sadly neglected thus far. Heâs just had four fingers in you and now youâre literally flinging droplets with each swipe, itâs a goddamn swamp down there itâs so wet. He slows his slaps and starts to rub soft circles against your clit, stopping every once in a while to try your entrance gently, just to see. You moan breathlessly and his heart speeds up as he looks at Austin questioningly.
âI recognize that gleam in your eye, TurnerâŠspit it out,â Austin says in a slightly strangled voice.
âThink you can take us both, angel? At the same time?â Callum directs his question to you, ignoring Austin.
You canât take your poor abused clit getting ground on anymore, itâs just too intense, anything to give it a break. You nod your head so fast he thinks it might fly off. Your trembling little hand reaches down with disjointed begs of âPut it in baby, put it, please Cal, itâs burning.â
Your sloppy wet pussy hole visibly clenches with a tiny space of room left each time Austin digs in. Callum drunkenly wonders if they should have a medical professional on standby for this sorta shit, like itâs gotta be a crime to wedge two boys into a girl, especially when Butlerâs packing like that. But your whine suggests you need it and heâd really like to not be left out. FOMO -thatâs what heâll blame when heâs driving the ambulance or else coming down from the craziest high heâs ever had with a pool of cum drying on his belly.
Austin goes still as a statue under you and drags your sweaty hair across to the other shoulder so he can really see your face and ask, âYou sure? Baby, talk to me, you really wanna try?â His hand gently grips your chin, forcing you to focus on his eyes, his question.
âIâll die if I donât have you both,â you plead, your voice barely above a whisper, but Austin still looks concerned and slightly perturbed. Is the girl he knows even in there? But you want something, you want this and heâll be dammed if he doesnât give you anything you want thatâs within his power to give. And if thereâs one thing he loves about you itâs your love of a challenge. He bites his cheek, trying not to blow his load over your sweet determination.
âOk ok.â Austin takes a deep, steadying breath, kissing your wet temple and gives Callum a very familiar look of admonishment and also trust in his good intentions. âCareful, man, really careful,â he instructs as Callum nods his silent assent.
âNo safe words, just if somebody says stop we stop, ok?â Austinâs starting to pant, as he can feel the poofy mushroom head of Calâs cock brushing his sack at your entrance. âAnybody who says stop,â he clarifies, half thinking he might be the first to wimp out and do it.
âYeah, yeah, âcourse.â Cal actually looks sober as fuck except for the sheen of sweat that always seems to come with his pints and somehow the eye contact he makes lights a fire in Austinâs belly.
âI might say no,â you squeak, âI wonât mean it though, just a heads up. Iâll say stop- if I need to stop.â
âNo?â Cal laughs nervously. âThat might make me feel a littleâŠbad,â he admits, still rubbing maddening circles around where Austinâs been practically cockwarming you for ages.
âStop getting all existential and give her what she wants, man,â Austin rebuts.
âItâll make me feel bad if she says no,â Cal blurts, running a hand through his already messy hair.
âThen Iâll do it.â Austinâs voice is rough in your ear and your nipples harden into peaks as he gently pulls out of you and pats the bed. âTell Cal to lay his big ass self down.â
You giggle as Callum dives onto the bed, bouncing for a moment until he settles, turning over onto his back, head propped on a lazy forearm. He pats his meaty thighs and you roll your eyes but canât deny the flip flop your stomach does at the thought of those thighs and what a nice cradle theyâll make while youâre railed within an inch of youâre life. And then youâre hovering over him, Cal kneading your hip encouragingly while running an admiring hand up and down your spine, like youâre a skittish horse in need of calming. You hesitate, momentarily unsure, but Austin nods at you reassuringly from the foot of the bed and ever the gentleman, gives you his hands to hold as you sink slowly down on Callum. Though his gentlemanly hands are gripping yours tightly, his eyes are glued to your pussy taking every inch of uncut Brit cock that heâs maybe gagged on once.
âEarth to Butler!â comes from behind you because Austinâs zoned out a little and itâs been a hot minute and youâre somewhat situated now.
âOh, yeah, yeah, uh, ok, okâŠâ
Cal snickers before crunching up behind you, his chest hot against your back as he wraps his arms around you. âYou feel lovely, darlinâ, wanna lay back wifâ me? Donât mind him, heâs lost it. Always goes a bit soft in the head around a pretty pussy or my cock.â
Itâs a lot from this position and laying back against Callumâs chest is intense. You feel like heâs fully in your belly and it stretches your womb over him. He feels differentâŠhis isnât as wet as Austinâs little water fountain but it throbs more noticeably, sending little shocks of pleasure through you. Cal pets your belly soothingly and spreads your pussy lips for Austin to really get a look at. You whine and squirm, realizing again the want for more. Those fingers dabbling at your entrance, threatening to push inside you once more and thatâs when Austin breaks, recalling thatâs what he and his cock are here for.
âYeah, ok, ok, present and accounted for. Move your hand,â he murmurs, swiping Calâs hand away. He thumbs at you himself for a bit, just to be sure and to watch as Cal loses his cool facade for a second when you clench tightly around him.
âStill sure about this, baby?â He asks one more time as heâs pressing at the ring and the burn has you bracing. You feel Calâs hand move from your waist to your thigh, behind your knee, cupping it and dragging it wide, spreading you apart before youâve even said your piece. The vote of confidence does you good and you take a deep breath, nodding once, decisively.
âThen put me in, angel,â Austin tells you, fat cockhead already snagged in but thereâs a little ripple in his hard cock from the resistance of the tight space. Steeling yourself, you reach down and wrap your fingers around him, tugging him closer and slowly feeding his thickness into you alongside Calâs, who starts thrashing his head and moaning at the drag like heâs the one getting breached.
âGood girl, good girl, please moreâŠknow you can take more.â Calâs begging for cock by proxy and it alters your brain somehow. Austinâs too, he puts his hips into the effort and soon heâs gotten past the muscles at your command and into the threshold where you canât manage to push him out if you tried. It makes you panic a little, but Cal is softly shushing in your ear, a distracting thumb stroking behind your knee, other freckled hand mauling a tit and begging you to take more cock so he can get friction.
âShe can take it, come on, Austin,â he vouches for you, a little self promotion as you canât even form words right now. Somewhere about six inches in your vocabulary consists of yelped little âfuckâsâand whimpering âI cantâsâ.
Austin caresses your cheek, commanding you to look at him, his blue eyes focused in on yours, âThatâs it baby, just a little more. Youâre doing so good for us⊠such a good girl.â
Callum grabâs Austinâs shoulder and brings him fully deeper, which is all well and good when Austin kisses your forehead and insists raggedly, âYou are doing it, baby.â
When he finally pushes in that last little bit, you lose any control you thought you had, instantly coming from the stretch and threatening to push Austin out. But he presses nothing less than his full weight on you, keeping you in place and himself snug inside next to Callum. You gasp for air and wrap your arms around his broad shoulders, clinging to him. Austin tries to remember to breathe and promptly forgets how when he makes eye contact with Callum for the first time since being balls deep.
âAre you -is that youâŠtwitching?â
âWoulda thought youâd remember that,â Callum smirks. âCoulda sworn I recall you saying something about it jumping like a live wire in your hand?â
âChrist, well it feels different allâŠsnuggled up next to mine,â Austin grits out, coloring slightly.
After a moment or two, when breath has been regained and a few laughs shared and some semblance of sanity restored in right spaces, Cal starts to pepper every inch of your neck and cheeks in kisses. Now that heâs not so desperate heâs become utterly grateful for you, for this. The kisses turn into sloppy, wet groans in your ear as Austin begins to move and Calâs hand is gripping your jaw, his eyes locked on Austin, your legs thrown wide over his thighs, spread to the max and heâs a perfect recliner. He throws his other arm across your chest in a loving armbar, holding you still on top of him, âSo Butler can get a rhythm, baby.â
Austin looms above you both, finding his pace, measured and steady. His beautiful face is flushed full of awe and thereâs a heat in his gaze youâve never seen before. He puts his hand on Callumâs shoulder for leverage, long fingers digging into freckled flesh and Cal promptly lays a little smooch on Austinâs forearm with a cheeky grin. Austinâs eyes shift and change, become a deeper blue and an expression you canât read flits across his face as he jabs a particularly hard thrust into you. Callum starts to whimper and squirm when he realizes Austinâs thrusts are rubbing him too well, and it's not just you whoâs getting their spot hit - that spot being his foreskin being drug back and forth in maddening little drags.
âYâall like that? Feel good?â Austin growls lowly, rhythmic thrusts pushing you and Callum deeper into the fluffy white sheets, both of your whimpers combining until you canât tell who they belong to. Austin groans and drives in harder, his white knuckles gripping Callumâs shoulder hard, while he reserves his tenderest touch for you, rubbing his thumb back and forth across your cheek.
âYouâreâŠenjoying thisâŠâ you manage to moan between thrusts. His face splits into a grin as he pushes all the way in, pausing for a moment to kiss you hard, all tongues and teeth and desperation.
âOh, fuck mate, thatâs so good. Oh my god,â Callum babbles. âRight there, fuck, right there. You feel so good.â
âWhich one, baby girl? Me or her?â Austin smirks.
For once, Callum has no witty response except the heavy panting in your ear. He squeezes your waist harder and his fingernails indent your hip and it gives you something else to focus on while you catch your breath, a tiny escape from the mind-blowing ecstasy you feel and the slight alarm bells ringing in your head. You can feel Callum somehow expanding and growing inside of you, even bigger than he was before. Austinâs eyes go wide and a look of panic crosses his face - his perfect pink mouth forms a perfect âoâ.
âOh shit, whatâŠwhy is everything so fucking tight againâŠwhat is happening,â Austin groans breathlessly, his mouth set in a determined line, teeth ground together so hard you worry momentarily he might break a tooth. He tightens his grip on Callumâs shoulder and Calâs massive hand encircles Austinâs delicate wrist, knuckles white as he holds on for dear life.
âFasterâŠfaster,â Cal begs, again and again. âSorry no, mate itâs, itâs fuckinâ happeninââŠoh fuck.â His head cranes forward and you can feel his belly and hips flexing beneath you as he tenses over and over, letting out a hoarse sort of howl as he comes. His warmth fills you and it shakes something loose in your head, your own stomach starting to clench as you grab a handful of Austinâs golden hair, urging him on. Callumâs hands are all over you, petting you everywhere as he starts to come down.
âSâok I came in ya? Yeah? Good, âcause I did,â he whispers hoarsely with a remorseful little laugh, back to babbling to you now that Austinâs got him there. He wipes the sweaty hair from your forehead, tucking a piece of it behind your ear and kisses your neck, whispering encouraging words, âThatâs it, babe, give us another one.â
Calâs bitten off little whimpers spur you on, as his soft cock is trapped in there too, getting pummeled. Heâs trying to focus on you, with little pets and murmurs of encouragement but you feel his jaw clench as he grits his teeth, taking the pounding Austin is giving the both of you.
âGot me feelinâ like a proper woman, squealinâ nâ shit, Aus.â
You feel another orgasm build and shake through you, one of the many countless times youâve fallen apart tonight, but this one stands out. It would bring you to your knees if you were unlucky enough to be standing at this moment. Youâre sure it has something to do with knowing youâre satisfying two men at once, Callum having found his release and Austin being close to his. You can tell heâs on the verge by the little signs youâve grown to recognize over the course of your relationship. The way his forehead creases in between his brows - youâve kissed it away a dozen times in the heat of the moment. The way his pulse beats on the side of his neck, his vein there popping out and becoming more prominent. The short little huffs of breath he inhales, in quick succession - one, two, three, bam, bam, bam, like three shots straight to your heart. Itâs your turn to take care of him, the last one standing after he made sure you and Cal got yours.
âYour turn, baby,â you whisper, pulling his forehead down to meet yours, thumbing at the hollows of his cheeks as he begins to tremble and his thrusts turn sloppy. He kisses you again, sucking on your tongue before moving to latch onto your neck. Cal wraps a hand around Austinâs throat, pushing his head back and squeezing just enough for his eyes to widen and his mouth to pop open. His blue eyes darken and you think heâs going to put his mouth on you again, but he bypasses you and goes straight for Callumâs collarbone, his perfect, white teeth sinking into Callumâs lovely English skin and biting down, hard. Cal yelps but doesnât let go of Austinâs neck, and thatâs when you feel it, your belly filled with warmth again as Austin pulses and twitches inside you, a stuttered moan muffled into the crook of Callumâs shoulder. He collapses on top of you and Callum, completely and utterly spent, the three of you breathing heavily and unable to move for a few moments. You squirm a tiny bit, trying to take a deep breath with one man plastered to your front and another to your back.
Austin gets the hint and lifts himself back up on shaky arms, slipping out of you with a squelch. You gasp one final time, at the sudden loss of him, and a cold emptiness is left where he once filled you to the brim, almost to breaking. The coldness is replaced quickly by a gushing warmth spilling out of you. You feel Callum suck in a breath, his broad chest expanding beneath you, his right arm still wrapped tightly around your chest.
âChrist, itâs running down my balls,â he wheezes out, taking another shuddering breath.
Austin braces himself against the headboard and slowly disentangles himself, flopping limply beside you on the bed. He looks at you and Cal still entwined, his eyes moving from both of your faces flushed with heat, down to Callumâs arm still tightly wrapped around you, one large, meaty hand gripping your breast, his middle finger absentmindedly pressing the sensitive bud of your nipple down. Austin sucks in breath after breath, and his eyes travel lower, to your legs still splayed wide over Callumâs sturdy thighs, his softening cock still nestled deep inside you, the spend of both men slowly dripping out of you. A sudden flash of possessiveness roars through him - for you, for Callum. For the sacred thing he has with both of you. His face goes numb and his ears start to ring. But itâs gone as quickly as it appeared.
âWhat is it, Aus?â you whisper, stretching out a hand to him. He looks forlorn, alone on the other side of the bed, his vulnerable face a mix of emotions crashing together all at once, lost and unsure, the gravity of everything settling on his shoulders like a blanket.
âCome back to us.â Your fingertips barely reach to brush his bronzed chest, the little blonde hairs soft against your skin. âPlease.â
He lets out a breath you didnât realize he was holding and crawls back over, wrapping his arms around you both and collapsing on top of you again. Youâre hilariously squished in the middle of a bear hug now, both men squeezing with all their might, a strange show of masculinity to mask true feelings.
âI canât breatheâŠ.â you manage between giggles. Callum lets out a soft chuckle in your ear, his breath warm against your cheek as his arm shifts beneath you. He digs his fingers into Austinâs armpit and wiggles them around none too gently. Austin bucks against you and squeaks out an uncharacteristically high laugh, trying to squirm out of Calâs grasp, but itâs too strong and Austinâs body feels like jelly just now.
âHey! Hey hey, no fairâŠyou know I hate⊠being⊠tickledâŠâ Austin grunts out, trying desperately to writhe out of this strange embrace.
-
Bright, cheerful sunshine spills onto the hotel room floor and across the bed, where it has no right to be at this ungodly hour. It shines in unabashedly, through drapes you forgot to close properly in all of your horny desperation. A little sliver of verdant green Hollywood hills is the only signal from the outside world. In here, somewhere between sleeping and waking, in that hazy early morning dreamland, you register Austin tucked up close behind you, his knees pushing the backs of yours and his warm, heavy arm slung over your waist. This is how you wake up every morning and you scoot your bottom back, into the cradle of his hips, momentarily unaware of the pulverization of your insides. But scenes from last night play out like a clip reel inside your head almost as soon as youâre conscious. You squeeze your eyes tight, refusing to give the sun its due. You stretch your legs gingerly, wiggling your toes against Austinâs, and take stock of things. Thereâs the obvious ache between your legs - more of a throbbing fire, if the truth is to be told. Your nipples seem to remember the previous eveningâs activities as well because they immediately harden and stand at attention. And you canât feel them yet but youâre pretty sure you have a few bruises, too. Ah well, you think as you yawn lazily, thatâs what makeup is for.
You blink one eye open (itâs so bright in here!) and the first thing you encounter is a massive arm right next to your nose, tiny, golden hairs glinting in the sunlight. The second thing you see is Cal, on his belly and sans sheets or clothes, his lush and muscular bottom swelling above the white duvet beneath him. His adorable face is pressed into the pillow next to yours, dark curls swirling across his forehead and dayâs worth of stubble dots his jaw. He feels your eyes on him, heâs only been snoozing for a bit, waiting for you two to wake up. He cracks one bright, blue eye open and stares back at you a moment. He senses a rush of what he feels everytime he sees you but this time itâs magnified by endearment and gratitude. Then, his face lights up, still smushed into the pillow and a massive, squinty grin splits his face. Your heart gives a funny little leap inside your chest and you find that your fingers are caressing his cheek softly, of their own volition and you resist the urge to kiss the little freckle under his mouth. He grabs your hand and kisses your fingertips, holding them to his warm lips as he smiles. And suddenly, any worry about things being weird has evaporated, as has any possibility of him being a third wheel. He just belongs.
âHey! Quit making goo-goo eyes at my girl.â Austinâs gravelly morning voice rumbles from behind you playfully, and quick as lightning the arm still draped around your waist reaches over and smacks Callumâs ass, hard. The slap echoes around the room and you see the pale flesh of his bottom bounce and reverberate with the force of it. Cal, and his red, pillow creased face, jolts forward, yelling and jerking in the sheets, which in turn rubs his raw cock. This causes a chain reaction of events which results in him immediately pulling a sore muscle and flopping back down on the bed, moaning and rubbing his reddening backside.
âNo fair, bruv,â he groans into the pillow. âThat was too fuckinâ close to my balls.â
Austin chuckles and swats your ass gently for good measure. Slowly, everyone starts to shift and stir. First there are whines about soreness and muscles. Then about how sticky it all is. Then about whoâs gonna order room service - but more pressingly, whoâs gonna walk to the mini bar and grab a water. And then thereâs an argument about whoâs voice is less hoarse to call for the food - this ends up being you, hilariously. Then thereâs moaning arguments about who is intact enough to wobble to the door and tip the server. In between massive amounts of doting and fretting over you, obviously. The boys are ever attentive, fluffing your pillows and making sure youâre comfortable while they feed you omelets and sausage and pancakes until your energy is restored. Over breakfast in bed, the arguments continue about whoâs more bruised up - thereâs a nasty bite mark on Calâs collarbone but the fingerprints around Austinâs neck are a fair rival. Thereâs a panicked and very male discussion about emergency rooms when you admit you can barely move. But you manage to convince them that a nice, hot soak in the tub would do you wonders right about now. So Austin goes to draw you a bath while Callum helps you out of bed, wrapping a protective arm around your waist, and guiding you to the bathroom.
Twenty minutes later youâre starting to feel somewhat restored and a little more like yourself. The boys take turns showering, getting ready for the screening event later today. They go about it quietly though, almost reverently, leaving you to relax in peace. You turn the hot water on again, youâve soaked so long itâs turning tepid but youâre not ready to relinquish this luxury. You ask Austin to bring you your makeup kit, eying the marks on both of them that need covering up. First Austin, then Callum, one after the other they kneel beside the tub in only their dress pants, chest and feet still bare. There are bruises and hickies and bite marks on clavicles and necks and wrists. Poor Callum, with his delicate, reactionary British skin has what looks like beard burn over half his chest and up the side of his throat. You turn sideways in the fancy clawfoot bathtub, gingerly dabbing concealer here and there, doing the best you can to cover up any evidence of last night's revels. Austin sits patiently, a towel underneath his knees to buffer the hard tile floor, and watches you with his kind, enigmatic ocean eyes. Theyâre distracting, those eyes, as they watch your face, every blink and every smile.
âWhat is it, Aus? Something on your mind?â you finally murmur, unable to take such naked contemplation any longer.
âYouâre incredible, you know that?â He smooths the hair back from your forehead, rubbing a silky piece between his fingers. âIâm so lucky.â
Callum slouches against the doorway and lets out a quiet hum. âI think you mean weâre lucky, mate. The three of us.â
-
Pt 2 - The Three of Us: Brat Behavior
-
Tagging some Austin & Callum lovers I know: @jelliedonut @crazymadpassionatelove @elvisabutler @slowsweetlove @stylespresleyhearted @steph-speaks @blurredcolour @pearlparty
#austin butler#callum turner#austin butler fanfiction#austin butler smut#austin butler fic#austin butler imagine#callum turner fanfiction#callum turner smut#Callum Turner fic#callum turner imagine#the three of us#marina does it again#written by ab4eva
1K notes
·
View notes