#this is not in any way meant to be a complete compilation of everyone I want to say nice things to

[pukefactory]

I'm not sure if you take twisted!reader requests, but if you do. Then could I request platonic Twisted!user who is surprisingly chill and non-violent with RnD?

Hehe, of course! This is such an adorable concept, and I had a lot of fun writing it. I ended up making it a headcanon post instead of a short story because I had too many ideas for just one scenario—I hope that’s alright!

────༺ LIFEJAM ༻────

ᗢ Summary: A compilation of headcanons featuring RnD with a Twisted reader

ᗢ Character(s): Razzle and Dazzle (Dandy’s World)

ᗢ Genre: Headcanons, Fluff, SFW

ᗢ Warning(s): None - Completely Safe!

⟢ When they first encounter you, RnD are terrified, just as they would be with any other Twisted. However, when they realize you mean no harm, they lower their defenses and attempt to communicate. Razzle does his best to speak with you, while Dazzle remains hesitant, voicing his concerns—though Razzle quickly dismisses them, albeit with some uncertainty of his own. Yet, due to your unexpectedly calm nature, they both gradually relax the more Razzle interacts with you.

⟢ Eventually, you wander off, leaving RnD to fill the ichor machines alone. As they work, they catch a glimpse of you chasing another toon around the area. They immediately stop and rush to their friend’s aid, but the moment you spot them, you halt, simply staring at RnD before turning around and walking away once more—leaving them, and everyone else, even more confused than before.

⟢ After finishing with their respective machines, RnD begins searching the area for items for themselves and their teammates. During their venture, they are intercepted by you, who nonchalantly hands them a box of bandages without a word. Before they can thank you, you walk off, only to return moments later with a first aid kit just for them. Finally, they get the chance to express their gratitude. Though you simply nod in response before scurrying away again, the pair remain very thankful for your help—even if they find you a bit perplexing.

⟢ Actually, you may go a bit overboard when giving RnD items. While you do hand them useful supplies, you also give them anything you come across—chocolate bars, candy, sodas—just whatever happens to be lying around. You provide so much in such a short time that they eventually have to start stacking everything in a corner. The rest of the toons are frustrated that you’ve left them with nothing, not even a single item. However, at least they can rely on RnD for whatever they need, and your constant gift-giving keeps you distracted, allowing them to work on their machines in peace.

⟢ Once the floor is nearly cleared of items, RnD decides to keep you occupied and away from the other toons by showing you what you’ve given them. They attempt to explain what each item is, which ones they prefer, and which they don’t. Though this was originally meant as a distraction, the pair soon become engrossed in their one-sided conversation while you calmly listen, occasionally responding with muffled groans. It’s nice to have someone who listens.

⟢ Just because you get along with RnD doesn’t mean the other Twisteds do. If another Twisted tries to attack them, you immediately become hostile, chasing them off and, in some cases, even attacking them. You take on the role of RnD’s personal protector, driving away any threats that come their way. They appreciate your vigilance—at least until you start turning your attention toward the toons. At that point, RnD has to quickly find a way to distract you before you can harm their friends.

⟢ When it’s time to leave, RnD feels conflicted about abandoning you but ultimately knows they have no choice. As they depart, guilt lingers, and they briefly consider finding a way to bring you along—until they realize you would be a danger to the other toons. That’s okay, though, because they can always visit, and they do! You may not be much for conversation, but you’re kind, protective, and always ready to help when needed. Even if you’re not who you once were, RnD still cares about you deeply—and that means something.

[mello-when-hi]

Tag at least six people (can be more than six if you want), and say at least one nice thing about or to each of them. Can be mutuals, can be people you follow, can be people you don’t know but just happen to exist in the same circle(s) with. All you gotta do is tag them and say something nice about/to them :)

I was tagged by these lovely people (and decided to pull an uno reverse card on ALL OF THEM >:) : @bottleofchaos , @rebelwithoutabroom , @findinghomes , and @wolfboypunzo

@findinghomes- Finn, you make every space you enter just a bit more brighter, always a kind word to say to someone’s latest creation. Your writing never fails to take my breath away. You manage to capture such raw emotion, you put so much of yourself into your writing and it shows!!

@blocksforbrains - hiya Blocks!! I feel like it’s been a while since our paths have crossed, but we’ve been mutuals since before this blog was created, thanks for sticking around for the ride :)

@latenightsinmay - May!! Gosh, it feels like we’ve been mutual for forever. You’re someone I’ve come to depend on, still hanging on during the rainy days. Thanks you for quality tags and some amazing pjo posts

@wolfboypunzo - Asher!!! You lovely sweet human!! A frequent goer of my inbox!! I’m happy we found each other, you’re a little ray of sunshine, always with something kind to say. You’ve stuck with me through it all, and I’m happy you’re here.

@mahikamihan - Yumi!! Your art never fails to warm my heart!! I love how you always encourage those around you, it’s always a good day when I see you on the dash. Thank you for always bringing the community together by proposing fun little events, our fandom is brighter with you in it

@demonstars - nunki!!! I can always count on you to understand the cdnf demons. Your skillfully crafted posts never fail to shatter my heart in two, thank you for keeping the demons and insanities of Dnf alive and well

@hearvex - fun story H. I randomly saw one of your edits on YT before you joined the fandom and was immediately shocked. It was utterly stunning, unlike anything I had ever seen. Imagine my surprise when I saw you on tumblr, it was like seeing god at Walmart. Being mutuals with you has always been an utter delight, this fandom is better with you in it :)

@rebelwithoutabroom - Taizi!!! An awesome writer and an even better tumblr mutual. Thanks for being my hype person whenever I’m pitching fic plots, and thanks for letting me bounce ideas off you. I can’t wait to see what you create next, I’m lucky to have you as a mutual

@bottleofchaos - Ocean! Thank you for always being there to back up my Greek mythology/ Dnf parallels, you are an absolute gem! There’s always so much humanity in your fics, a fitting reflection of the person writing them

@jupitersthirdstar - Jay!! Thank you for the top tier fic recs and being someone I know I can turn to when things get a little crazy here. I love your loveposting, keep doing your thing!!

@froggyrights - hi Charlie! I know we haven’t been mutuals for too long, but I’ve always thought you were hella cool. I started playing undertale on your recommendation, and I feel like that set the tone for the sort of mutual you are (someone with absolutely based takes)

@rosy-skies - Rosie, oh my dear Rosie. If there was anyone that had to be part of all this I’m glad it was you. Thanks for being *here* with me, seeing the side of me that’s here online. It’s been an utter delight having you here, love ya

@suenitos - Nov, one day I’m going to hold you accountable for your web weaves because they don’t leave me teary eyed every. Damn. Time. You have an incredible scope for all the emotions a human can feel, thank you for unknowingly introducing me to some of my best inspiration

@minecraftdog - Mandragora!!! You always leave the most delightful things in my notes and all around one of the kindest people here, I’m happy to know I have you in my corner

@bagelrites - resident skephaloer and maker of adorable art!! Your stories are always so cozy, thank you for making our corner of the fandom all the more lovely with your creations

This is the part where I’m brave and say wonderful things to people I’m not mutuals with but I still need them to know that I think they’re amazing

@anonysage - your art never fails to take my breath away. You always manage to capture so much intimacy in your work, weaving an adorable narrative into everything you create. Thank you for sharing what you do with this fandom

@wolflyndraws - your designs are utterly STUNNING! The colors you use are always so bright and your Dream design is perfect in every sense of the word. I love all the darling au’s you put Dnf in, I get so excited seeing your creations!!! (Also I am an AVID enjoyer of your mermaid au, the colors you have for the tails are MARVELOUS and bright and just so so fitting for the people they’ve been crafted for)

@jun-hug - your little blob doodles always put a smile on my face!! I have two younger siblings who also enjoy your art and we love ‘awww-ing’ over the adorable drawings you’ve made!!!

[kibbles-bits]

Happy New Year🥳🍾🎉🎆 Heaven's Best AU what kind celebration everyone did! I am even curious what kind improvement Winner!Vox did for Heaven!?

What Vox does in Heaven is touched upon here.

"...media entertainment, news, organizing public events and he has a finger in the development of new technology. He’s involved in most things that make people happy and content in Heaven."

So that answers that question! Below? More yapping that expands on it!

Vox is very insecure about his place in Heaven, though by the time Heaven's Best starts, that feeling has been repressed and he's spent the last 50ish years making sure that the reason he is Different from everyone is because he is Better than everyone else. An idea that Emily unknowingly enables by supporting his ideas since she has complete faith in his Goodness and placement in Heaven.

It's that drive to be Better that makes him want to improve Heaven. Because improving perfection is the most impressive thing he can think of doing. So he gets involved in as many things as he can.

The first thing he gets control of is communications. He charms his way into radio and television until he's the one in charge of the biggest networks. He uses that to bolster other events or activities he's managing until his events are the only ones that get attention. Other Winners managing events come to him to ask him to advertise their projects and... of course he does! He's such a nice guy, after all. But perhaps it'd be easier if you add his name to those projects you're advertising, after all, everyone knows Vox now... Of course, he wouldn't want his name on it if he didn't contribute something. Say, how about you let him provide input on your projects too? He'd really be part of the team, then!

One very specific thing he does to support every individual in Heaven is interview them.

Vox puts every new Winner at the same level almost the same day they arrive. He collects all of the information he can, interviews them, and compiles it all into a profile piece to be shown on the appropriate channels of Heaven. He gives them all the same level of Hype, no matter what it is they did in life.

None of them are special.

(None of them are better than him.)

And this isn't bad! Look at him, treating everyone equally! Making them all feel at home and amongst peers! Even the smallest deed deserves the biggest of praise! Your jobs are done! You are in paradise! Reap your rewards that Vox so generously supplies to you.

Er, well, that Vox, the Seraphim and the Archangels supply to you.

And isn't that impressive? Vox is friends with a Seraphim, Emily.

The biggest advantage Vox has over any other Winner is his bond with Emily, one of the Seraphim who took a personal interest in him and his attempts to make everything in Heaven better. Emily's job is to make sure all the Winners in Heaven are Happy and Vox is eager to work alongside her with that.

Emily and Vox. Vox and Emily. Everyone knows they're friends. Why would anyone question the judgement of a Seraphim? Not that anyone can really pinpoint exactly what might be off about Vox. He's never done anything bad. All he's ever wanted to do is contribute and make things better for everyone. Make everyone happy, just like Emily... right? Who were they to stand in the way of him helping her?

Though, one questionable way he helps her is through surveillance...

He once suggested to Emily that they have cameras installed to help keep track of everyone's happiness. Emily agreed, assuming he just meant in public event spaces, and Vox uses that as blanket permission to put cameras... well... everywhere. And woops now he knows everything about everyone! Very convenient for data collection but it's okay since he's using the information to make Heaven better! He loves giving answers to Emily when she isn't sure why a Winner isn't happy.

She does think its strange that he knows so much about people when she never really sees him socialize, but maybe its a human thing...

Heaven is sooo improved, guys.

(Read the Heaven’s Best AU HERE)

[uniiiquehecrt]

I'm thinking in terms of actual real life experiences I've had when I say this, but I'd imagine part of what makes being a Thor enjoyer so frustrating in 2024/MCU's phase 4+ era is that... you're effectively not allowed to enjoy your favorite superhero.

I once had a conversation with a close friend of mine during a casual outing, and without going into very many details, this particular person is an enjoyer of Ragnarok, and enjoys Tailka's work overall. Now, I should say right off the bat: there is nothing wrong with these opinions. Everyone is entitled to like what they like and enjoy the work of creators just the same as other people are allowed to dislike them. For this particular post, I'm not here to get into fandom wars or "reasons why taika waititi is a terrible director" beef. I have other posts in line for that. But what I will say is that I already knew this about my friend, so it never surprised me when the topic of Thor came up that it would be a point of disagreement.

The issue I've found that continues to circle in the general space of "being a Thor fan" came when I expressed that I don't like Ragnarok, I do think Thor was funnier (and just better overall) before Ragnarok and therefore Taika's involvement, and quite frankly Taika had very little business taking on the mantle of director of a superhero franchise he has never liked or understood in his life just because he had mouths to feed. (There are other opportunities to fulfill that. And filmmakers know going into this industry that it's all gig-based and - if they're smart anyways - work around that.) I hadn't even gotten a chance to go through all of the reasons WHY I feel that way, of which I have had before compiled an organized list of about 16 talking points off the top of my head, so as far as that particular discussion goes... it didn't go anywhere. We were busy at the time.

But namely what I want to talk about is this:

The response I was given, in summary, was something along the lines of "well I think Thor was boring, and he wasn't my cup of tea, so I'm glad he changed."

But, you see, there's just ONE small issue with that: Thor isn't meant for everyone.

In fact, no character is meant for everyone. So why is it that Thor needs to change to be "for everyone" and be the MCU normies' "cup of tea" when no other character has to? Why does he need to lose his core identity (both as a character, as a franchise, you name it, it's been done) just because people like my friend don't understand him as well as Tony Stark or Spider-Man? And why should Thor fans have tow watch their favorite superhero get stripped down and turned into something completely divorced from the character, world and cast we were first involved with from the beginning?

Nobody at any point has been able to answer me that besides "well just because I didn't like Thor personally."

Iron Man won't appeal to everyone. Neither does Captain America, neither does Spider-Man, beloved as even Spidey is. They have their own quirks, their own villains, their own storylines... Every superhero has a core to them that their stories revolve around. He's from DC, but Superman, for instance, has the core of: love, justice and the American Way. Therefore, his stories revolve around challenging that core, and making Superman prove it. Steve Rogers/Captain America has a similar core. Justice, freedom and the American Way, is what I'd mostly boil his core down to. Thor's is "love" all around. I've written about that '(here)' in my post about his 2011 themes. Maybe it's different for other fans, but for me personally? I adore that about Thor. It's one of the many reasons I'm drawn to him over any other marvel Super besides Spider-Man. (not you tom holland ... yes you andrew garfield...)

So when I go to Thor for entertainment, I'm going to him above the other superheros because I want a story that revolves around HIS core and how Thor goes about reckoning with his challenges. I also go to MCU Thor specifically for his quiet, kind, regal nature. I come to him for his gravitas, his passion, his relationships with his cast of companions.

I go to him for high-sci-fi action/adventure, or for the "what if we took norse mythology and made it an alien superhero" route they took him in for the MCU. I go to Thor because he IS different from the rest of the Avengers... and that's the point.

So when someone says to me: "Well Thor wasn't for me so I'm glad he changed", or "Well I really liked Ragnarok because Thor kind of become more in line with the other Avengers"... they're fundamentally missing the point of why Thor has a fanbase at all.

[aziraphales-library]

Hey, yall do super cool work, thank you for everything yall do <3

I was wondering if you could find any BPD Crowley fics? It isn’t have to be specifically centric, but just written with that headcanon in mind/referenced/mentioned, just about anything that mentions it 😅😅😅 Original universe if possible

tysm again for everything you do, I've been using your blog for fic recs for a WHILE now, super super useful and wonderful :]

Hello! While compiling this list I realised that a couple of these fics are yours, but I've added them for completeness and so others can enjoy them. Here are some fics in which Crowley has (or at least is implied to have) borderline personality disorder...

In This Twilight, How Dare You Speak Of Grace by cosmickaiju (T)

They can't bear to hear his pity. Can't bear the thought of Aziraphale thinking they're just like any other demon.

My World Can't Turn Without You by LvndrLemonade (M)

Crowley is convinced he's been abandoned for good, and doesn't see the point in going on. Upstairs in Heaven, Aziraphale's plans to stop the Second Coming are hastily interrupted by a sudden feeling of terrible dread.

Delicate by midnightdragons (T)

Aziraphale tries to comfort Crowley after waking him from a nightmare.

i was born sick (but i love it) by sonderrrr (T)

After he regains his breath, he falters three words. Three words that Crowley had prayed he would never have to hear again. Because it meant he was wrong. “I forgive you.” What was he being forgiven for? Initiating a kiss that was unwarranted? Not going with his Angel? Being a demon? Being unlovable? Sighing, Crowley shakes his head and starts for the door. “Don’t bother.”

The Great (not) Gatsby by luckythirt33n, LvndrLemonade (G)

Can't repeat the past? ...of course you can! Ever since being assigned to the states, Crowley has been, admittedly, lonely. He hosts grand, sinful, parties under an alter ego, so he can get Hell of his back, and simply bides his time to get back home. That changes when Aziraphale joins him in the United States, sent on a vague mission from Heaven to 'check in on things.' Though, their newfound time together isn't as simple as it should be; Crowley has gotten into some political hot-water with activity in his overwhelming free time, and the sudden appearance of a mystery man may be what can solidify a rather scandalous article that's bound to hit the front covers of every newspaper in the nation. Aziraphale and Crowley will have to balance want with need, thousands of years of pining finally bubbling to the surface. Will they be able to get their happy ending *and* keep each other safe?

Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it by mr_clairdycat (T)

"That said, this angel and this demon love each other in the way someone who loves God does, that much is objective. Their love is patient and kind, it doesn't insist in its own way, it is not irritable or resentful, nor does it rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. That’s how it truly is; their love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Most importantly, however, it will never end. Does not matter whether everyone in the universe isagainst it, they will persevere till the end of their never-ending life. That considered, who could’ve known if God was truly against it in the first place, if this was a test, if this was their plan. But maybe, just maybe it is useless to ponder at such question. Cause that’s what these two are: indescribable, unimaginable, forbidden, wonderful. They are just ineffable."

- Mod D

[redux-iterum]

hihi, i have a more like. advice question

i want to show how horrid the clans are when looked at with an outside lense, thank you discord friend that made me realize i should not be this desensitized, and i was wondering if you had any advice on that?

like. i have some characters im thinking abt, but it's hard to actually use my brain to compile it into a story, yk?

if not that's totally fine!! love your work and i wish you the best <:]

Hello to you! This is an interesting question, and one I'm not completely certain I'll be able to answer satisfactorily, but I'll do my best.

The best way I've found to explore faults in a society is to have the POV character be designed to contrast against that society. For example, Fireheart and ThunderClan are very much meant to oppose each other; ThunderClan is apathetic to outside concerns and Fireheart finds it impossible to not care about everyone he meets, even if he doesn't like them personally. It's black-vs-white, and the entire arc of ThunderClan is about shifting into grey as that overpowering white bleeds into the pool. Having Fireheart affect the Clan that strongly also helps with making the narrative interesting as conflicts arise and there are different ways the characters deal with them, causing smaller conflicts on their own. It wouldn't work as well if Fireheart just accepted what the Clan tells him and went along with their behavior. Conflict matters greatly in making a story interesting.

As a side note, I think an important and very intriguing aspect of this kind of thing is nuance. That is, exploring why the culture has these faults - how they developed and why anyone keeps them going. You don't have to justify them at all, just give some insight into the lore and the common mentality of the cats in this culture. Very few real people are 100% evil - even kindhearted and genial folks can believe in racial superiority, simply because they were born into a community that pushes this notion and they don't know anything else. There are so many stories that show, for example, slave races being "content" in their position with no one questioning the status quo, because it's the status quo. Writing about that mentality and taking a magnifying glass to it, and possibly changing it over time, is a great deal of fun. Even if you get some idiots thinking you're defending such a position because some folks lack critical thinking skills.

It's necessary to note that cruelty never makes sense. Sometimes we go along with bad things for no good reason. Fictional cultures are like that, too. Encouraging questioning of their baseless awfulness is the best part of writing about societies like this. Give them hypocritical beliefs, have the POV argue about how stupid those beliefs are, have their opponents rise up to shout them down or sit back to analyze themselves. It all makes the markings of a damn good story, in my opinion.

[twopoppies]

I don’t even know how to begin this, neither if it’s gonna make any sense at all. But I feel like I have to get it off my chest and scrolling through your blog made me feel like this is the right place to do so.

I never had any friends in the fandom. When I joined in 2017, barely in high school, they had already gone on hiatus. There were no more OT5 concerts to look forward it was all just videos and songs and memories of others that I got to enjoy and learned to cherish for myself.

Through the years since, there have been times where One Direction and all their solo work has pulled me up when I was down. Times when loneliness was overcome by watching hours of concerts videos and compilations on youtube - and they always made me smile. And also times where other things in life had more priority and I didn’t check into the fandom for months at times.

The first time I realised that what seemed to be the best time for us as fans was the absolute worst for them as artists, was when I watched that podcast interview of Liam a few years back. It was heartbreaking hearing it, and maybe that was also one moment where I realised I was no longer a naive teenage girl but on my way to adulthood.

I haven’t kept up with Liam or the other boys this year as much, but I always believed that whenever I really needed them, the boys will just always be there - maybe my mind immortalised them some way or other.

Seeing these news now, broke me on a level I didn’t expect and can’t even really explain. Hearing the accusations towards Liam and the man he seemingly became I don’t even know how to grieve.

How DO you grieve someone that brought you joy but at the same time acted in ways you just can’t condone with your values and beliefs?

Maybe what I am grieving the most is the lost chance of accountability and change. Mental illness is no joke and I know that a persons best version and worst version of themselves can be completely different. He should have gotten the chance to at least try again, to go to rehab and get better - to heal.

Before I went to bed tonight I tried to be brave and told my dad cause I just didn’t know how to handle it. I talked about Liams addiction and alcoholism and abuse, but I also talked about the music and the fact that I just feel like someone is missing and I don’t even know if I’m allowed to feel that way.

I’ll forever be grateful that all my dad did, was take me into his arms and comfort me. He didn’t laugh or called it a teenage obsession or said that it’s not right to grieve for someone who you didn’t even know personally.

All he said was that it’s okay to grieve cause it just showed that you cared. You can grieve for lost chances and for what a person once meant to you, even if they might not be quite that same person anymore (even if it seems a little selfish, grieving is always personal).

I hope he’s better now and doesn’t feel any of the pain he’s very obviously been holding in for however many years. My heart goes out to the people who really knew him - his family, his son, his friends and girlfriend, and the boys.

Sleep easy and rest in peace Liam 🕊️

Your dad sounds like a very sweet man. I'm glad he was there for you in the way that you needed him to be.

I don't know the answer to your questions, but I feel similarly that one of the things I'm most upset about is that he died before he had a chance to heal and make amends.

Everyone deserves a redemption arc, and I'm just angry that he wasn't allowed to have his.

[sysmedsaresexist]

Hello there!

Im coming from a place of genuine curiosity; I have a genuine interest in Psychology but im still very new to the topic. At the same time I have multiple friends who are Plural, ranging from DID to Endogenic and I have been trying to learn to better understand em but also myself.

I am a bit confused with regards to certain stances or understanding what you are trying to imply, I apologize if this is something you've made obvious in the past.

You've done a 180 from your old Anti-Endo stance yet looking through some posts I feel like a lot of evidence you share would be against Endogenic Plurality no? Mind ya I know your focus is still mainly CDD systems so there wouldn't be much opportunities to share research on that, but im regardless confused at what appears to me like a back and forth on the validity of Endogenic and the stance the Plural community has on including multiple systems under its umbrella... or am I misunderstanding some things? (I do struggle with sarcasm so apologies).

Apologies should this come off as confrontational, im just a bit confused reading through the various posts.

You're not coming off as confrontational! Though I'm not completely sure I understand the question. I'm going to try my best!

The beliefs of the mods on this blog vary. We all have different ideas about how CDDs work and what's possible in and outside of them. This makes us a really great team for tackling some of the more complicated questions where we can showcase a few different opinions.

I think, generally, we're in agreement about a few core things.

CDDs are childhood trauma disorders. That won't change. That's just a fact. This is in the DSM.

In my opinion, CDDs are not plural and should NOT be included under the plural umbrella. I think lumping a traumatized and disordered group of individuals under an umbrella specifically meant for non disordered experiences is a bad idea. TPA, I'm looking at you telling CDD systems they're not allowed to have personhood for benefitting from a medical view.

Some of this shit hurts. Like not just hurts the CDD community, but it's a punch to the gut.

Also, in my opinion, and living comfortably alongside that, plural and CDD experiences overlap for some people, but this isn't universal and shouldn't be treated as such. It does happen, though, and those experiences are valid and should be respected. I don't go into conversations looking to change minds or prove someone is traumagenic, I'm genuinely interested in hearing about people's experiences and trying to reconcile my own beliefs and ideas with new information. Occasionally, this is a mutual exchange of ideas, and minds DO change. Sometimes mine, sometimes theirs. This isn't a case of turning pros to antis or vice versa with gotchas, though. I've shifted my mindset from arguing to simply sharing as much information as I possibly can. Everyone should be armed with all the accessible information. These arguments would be a lot less volatile if we all had access to the same base articles and info.

In my opinion, there's still a lot of rampant misinformation in pro/endo communities. TPA makes me want to tear my hair out.

My belief in this needed separation does nothing to invalidate endogenic systems, and doesn't say they can't exist. The misinformation I'm talking about isn't their existence.

I think I'm actually the only blog to have a post dedicated to links about the Stanford tulpa studies. I could be wrong, but I don't think anyone else compiled them for easy access and linking.

My blog is still focused on CDD research and correcting some of the myths and misinformation, but I don't think this invalidates endogenic plurality in any way.

I do, on occasion, post research into endogenic systems, but that isn't my focus. I would actually say my focus has shifted to interacting with anti endos to introduce them to some of the ideas that helped open my mind.

I am NOT the most pro endo system on this platform, but I am pro endo--

And I am trying to act as that bridge between communities with the best intentions possible. I know, I know, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but I... ultimately hope that in the end, I help both communities, in my own unique way.

At the very least, I don't want to cause more harm for either community.

My unique way, though, does not discount the existence of plurality, it's just not my focus, and I'm still battling basic misinformation in the process, which can get... messy. At times.

I hope this answers the question, genuinely, feel free to come back to talk more!

[takkapakka]

Cassandra (Tangled) and queercoding

Interacting with the TTS fandom, everyone (including myself honestly) seems to agree that Cass is a lesbian. It’s not canon, because Disney sucks, but the coding is generally viewed to be pretty strong to the point that it’s taken to be canon in every way but on paper. Despite being such a popular view though there was absolutely nothing online that I could find (apart from a deleted tumblr post linked on reddit) that actually specified the exact coding that lead people to think this??? So, I decided that I would myself try to compile some of the reasons that might lead people to view her as a lesbian. This might be complete nonsense, but I am a huge fan of Cass and the show in general, and I just wanted to think a bit deeper about what it is, exactly, about her character that made so many lgbtq+ folks latch onto her as representation within the show. Also on top of already being extremely technologically illiterate this is my first ever post on here so excuse any issues on that part.

First off, just to preface this I think I want to outline my thoughts about coding in general. I think the line can often blur between stereotyping and queercoding, but I think queercoding is different to stereotyping because coding generally happens when someone creating an lgbtq+ character is physically not allowed or unable to say the character is queer. Obviously stereotyping is a pretty major problem within portrayal of marginalised groups in the media, but for gay characters (who are more often that not created by people who are lgbtq+ themselves) it can sometimes be the only way to actually express to your audience that you did intend for the character to be interpreted as gay without outright saying it because, as I said before, this may be something you are just unable to do. Tangled is a Disney property, which is known for being pretty homophobic and overall just majorly limiting gay characters in their media, which means that it must be hard for someone wishing to portray a queer character to do so. Having to lean into stereotypes to express a character as being queer sucks, but I personally think there’s a big difference between using stereotypes on a canonically queer character and one that you can’t actually say is queer. There’s still a loooot of progress to be made with queer representation in the media, but when you cant even outright say that a character is queer, coding is the next best thing because often queer people in the audience will pick up on this and interpret that character as lgbtq+ because they can recognise the intentions and want to believe the creators meant it because there’s so little queer media elsewhere compared to straight media. In addition to this, it can be comforting to think of your favourite character as similar to you in a way that you may have suffered for before.

Now to the actual purpose of writing this. One big thing I see people talking about is the fact that actual story board artists of the show have said they intended Cassandra to be interpreted as a lesbian. This is obviously huge because it leads on to all the other elements of her coding that I’ll discuss because this is coming from someone who actually worked to create the show. I’ve never been apart of a creative team so I don’t know how much actual control a story board artist has on the content of a show, but they still helped make it, so it has to count for something right?? I found a link to a tweet off Cass’ page on the lgbtq+ characters wiki (this is actually REALLY sparse for some reason and it basically just states her sexual orientation to be lesbian without very much evidence to back it up apart from the tweets, which even then seemed to only be one tweet, and her apparent feeling for Rapunzel (double bracket will get onto this later) so honestly this wasn’t as much help as I hoped it would be) which basically stated that Cass was fully intended to be interpreted as queer. Linked here: amboo 👻 on X: "@MegLegbird im glad the gays can recognize how gay cass is like, that's the only job we wanted to be successful" / X . The creator of the show, Chris Sonnenberg, actually joined a Right-Wing news company around  2022 and has been working for their children’s streaming platform which aims to “rival the output of “woke” media companies” which is incredibly sad and might be why the idea of Cass being a lesbian remained just within the artists, because it may be very likely that Sonnenberg himself is homophobic. He was also known to be incredibly salty towards the fan base for Tangled which I can’t comment on because I have zero solid explanation as to why this might be.

In the replies underneath the linked tweet there was some more discussion between the artist and another user. There’s discussions of the female artists agreeing to throw in “sapphic looks” because outright saying she’s gay was impossible, so it’s very clear that any coding was intentional and should be taken as valid. Some people may say that she has not been explicitly said to be a lesbian so saying she is one holds absolutely no validity, but I disagree with this because things in media do not have to be stated outright in the text for it to be taken as true. That’s what literacy analysis is for. Things carry denotations, its literal meaning, but there are also connotations, which is what the writer was trying to convey without explicitly stating it. So, by this reasoning, to say Cass isn’t a lesbian just because it was never stated in the show isn’t completely true, because the subtext is literally overflowing with hints, and subtext is a completely valid thing to talk about and to ignore would be failing in the role of a consumer. Text is meant to be interpreted in different ways, but when you are literally ignoring things the writers have put in on purpose in order to twist a piece of media’s meaning to what you want it to be, it just turns into ignorance. Interpretations of coding is heavily down to a person’s personal experiences and ideas, but it gets to a point where people can just blatantly ignore certain elements of media, and in this case I believe the coding is pretty strong because someone working on the show has actually confirmed that, in at least a portion of the show, Cassandra was fully intended to be understood as being a lesbian.

In terms of how she was actually coded within the show, one episode that springs to mind immediately in particular is the episode where Andrew (my biggest opp) is introduced. This episode is called “Under Raps” but I can’t tell you what episode number it is because I don’t have Disney plus anymore. If you don’t remember what happened basically Cass introduces mr ugly bugly himself to Rapunzel and Eugene as her boyfriend or whatever but it turns out he was trying to manipulate her to be able to steal this ancient book in order to overthrow Corona. In the end, it’s revealed Cass was only pretending to like him because she knew his plan all along and defended the book from him. They have a swordfight and its insane 10/10 no notes there. The reason I think of this as an example of queercoding is because it’s the only instance in the whole show where a male love interest is even referenced surrounding her (apart from Varian having a crush on her but I’m not even gonna mention this apart from now because of course she wouldn’t have any interest in him because he’s a literal child and she’s early to mid-twenties) and the fact that it’s shown she was just putting an act on the whole time makes me think this was intentional to show she would never have romantic relations with a man. Some of this might sound pretty speculative or far-fetched, but I think it’s valid to mention since I’ve already established that it was intentional from some of the creators to have her be interpreted as a lesbian in the first place. Any indication of her being interested in men ends after this episode, which I believe is significant because the concept was introduced for a short time until the reveal of her faking it when it is completely disregarded and never brought up again. I think this may be the creators indicating that attraction to men was never in the cards for her.

Another thing that may be taken (this is getting into the territory of being stereotypical which is why I mentioned it at the beginning) is lesbians in media are often depicted in such a way that they are cold, critical and even aggressive towards male characters. Think Santana Lopez from Glee, Vaggie from Hazbin Hotel, and Villanelle from Killing Eve. I believe this is shown in the way Cass interacts with Eugene, which is in sharp contrast to her much gentler demeanour with Rapunzel. She is extremely quick to bicker with and insult him, and will miss no opportunity to pick a fight with him. From the very first episode, this is shown in the way she repeatedly insists that Rapunzel cannot tell Eugene the true story behind her hair reappearing, due to the fact that Cass doesn’t trust him. She eventually tells him anyway, but Cass isn’t happy about it. Even off the top of my head, there are many, many, more examples of Cass instigating arguments between them, this is just an example of one very plot-relevant occasion of her appearing to dislike him. While it is of course not true in real life that lesbians dislike all men just because they are men, I believe this is used to code Cassandra because it is used directly to emphasise her softer, sweeter attitude towards Rapunzel, along with the fact that the “man hating lesbian” is already a common trope used to depict lesbians. Stereotypes are not a good thing, but they are often a device used by writers to indicate a character as possessing specific traits or mannerisms. In this case it’s used to convey a characters’ sexuality when you are unable to say it outright.

Furthering from Eugene being used to contrast Rapunzel in relation to Cassandra, another massive thing that signals Cass as a lesbian in my opinion is the way she interacts with Rapunzel. Some of the screenshots of Cass looking at her are extremely and undeniably fruity, and if I was more technologically competent I might be able to insert some of them here, but her expressions are often filled with longing and admiration. This can be directly attributed to the story boarders, which was mentioned prior in replies to the tweet. I know that Rapunzel had just eaten incredibly spicy fruit, but I refuse to believe that Cassandra flirtily tucking her hair behind her ear while Rapunzel was bright red and choking on her breath wasn’t intended to be at least a little bit gay.

In addition to all the fruity looks that Cass gives Rapunzel like I just mentioned, there is a whole episode where Rapunzel loses her memory, and guess who is in Eugene (her canon love interest)’s place? Cassandra! Whether this was intentional or just because Cass was the closest one there is, I suppose, up to you, but a great many scenes in that episode directly mirror those in the movie, including Cass gazing lovingly at Rapunzel while she uses her hair to swing around a tree for the first time. In my humble opinion, this is extremely gay. I don’t personally think this is a coincidence, but even if it was, it still contributes to my belief that Cass is a lesbian.

The actual ship of Cassandra x Rapunzel is something I don’t personally enjoy, mainly because I love Raps and Eugene too much to even consider thinking about them with anyone else, but I do believe that Cass was in love with Rapunzel, who just viewed her as a best friend. This is due to the aforementioned evidence of the abundance of examples of fondness she displays towards her, and also the fact that this is used in very obvious contrast to how she interacts with Eugene. I think this contrast was either on purpose or enhanced by people on the team who intended for Cassandra to be interpreted as a lesbian, because it is VERY obvious how different she is with Rapunzel and Eugene. She is also very close with Rapunzel in general, showing her to be the only person she accepts hugs from, and also spending a lot of time with her and clearly caring for her greatly. I know some people dislike this ship because they interpret their relationship as sisterly, but I don’t personally view it as such because Gothel was extremely abusive towards Rapunzel and was barely in Cass’ life at all so I don’t think they have relation on that front, as well as the fact that the way their relationship began doesn’t, in my opinion, lead naturally into a view of each other as being similar to siblings. The dynamic between them is more best friends I think.

I’m not an expert on coding in fiction by any means to it’s very possible I may have gotten things wrong within this, but from evidence from the show mentioned within I think it is fair to say that this is at least a little bit indicative of some of the reasons why so many people so strongly believe Cass to be a lesbian. As I mentioned before, it’s a very nice feeling to see elements of yourself that you may have suffered for before represented within characters you love, which is why I believe people are so enthusiastic about Cass’ sexuality, not to mention the fact that it has been confirmed to be intentional by actual creators within the show. Queer characters, especially in children’s media, are so few and far between that it can be really lovely to see even a little bit of yourself depicted in a character you really like in a show you really enjoy. All in all, I know characters’ sexualities can be a very heavily debated topic within fandom spaces, but the idea of Cass being a lesbian seems to be pretty unanimous so the purpose of writing this was just to put into words exactly why I think this is such a widely held belief. There are no rules around how you choose to interact with characters within fandoms, and everything is up to complete personal interpretation, so just have fun and remember to be respectful of others who may have different opinions to you!!

[kogratorm]

Okay, listen.

We are all deeply saddened by the situation lurking over our cubitos, but let me explain why Q!Roier's reaction is understandable and genuine. Despite his hurt caused by Q!Cellbit, I don't believe he truly meant what he said.

From a realistic standpoint, it's completely natural and not at all unreasonable to feel angry if someone from your family (especially someone you're close to) is murdered. EVEN WORSE, BY YOUR GROOM. The situation itself is incredibly absurd and it's completely valid for Q!Roier to feel the way he does as a real person.

We all joked that Q!Roier would be his fiancé’s apologist, but it's valid and real that he didn't. However, when he said "Te odio" (I hate you) in that moment, he did mean it, but not in the way everyone is interpreting it.

He hates that Q!Cellbit initially lied, whether out of fear or not.

He hates the feeling of being betrayed by Q!Cellbit, someone he placed trust in, much like he did with his friends (Q!Spreen, Q!Missa, and even Q!Quackity), as well as Cucurucho.

He hates that the story is being retold.

He hates being the one who's traumatized every time; he has experienced it multiple times, so it's only natural for him to react defensively, saying things without thinking, to protect himself.

I would even dare to say that the presence of Q!Quackity might have triggered memories of the past situation with Q!Spreen, regardless of whether Q!Quackity was actually trying to help them this time.

Does he hate Q!Cellbit?

Perhaps. Right now, he definitely hates him. He told Richarlyson that if he were to send an elegant (vent) mail, he would only say hurtful things. Because he IS in fact hurt, and that IS valid.

However, the real "hate" here is directed towards the pain he is once again enduring.

Q!Roier is so traumatized that he's already accepting Q!Cellbit as just like the others, not wanting to hear anything he has to say. To be fair, it's difficult to listen to someone who has taken the life of someone you cared about.

Unlike the others, Q!Cellbit told the truth and sincerely apologized right away when he found the courage to do so, despite being advised otherwise.

He was afraid, but he still spoke the truth.

He did it because he didn't want their marriage to be built on a lie, not when it was already heading in that direction.

If only Q!Roier knew how abnormal it is for Q!Cellbit to tell the truth and how much he would have preferred to lie his way out of it.

But he didn’t.

Q!Cellbit choose to not hold on that lie. He is fully aware that his actions were unforgivable. He doesn't expect forgiveness from Q!Roier.

bicrysis @ Twitter:

They love each other deeply, they are hurt by the mistakes they made and the damage it brought, but the love is still there. Just because Q!Roier isn't as much of a hopeless romantic as Q!Cellbit doesn't mean his feelings are any less valid. It doesn't mean that he didn't love him and doesn't continue to love him.

It is exactly because of this enduring love that the hurt runs so deep.

The depth of their love intensifies the impact of the current circumstances, making it all the more heart-wrenching. The realization that someone Q!Roier cared for, someone he entrusted with his heart after everything he went through, could commit such a grievous act... It cuts deeply into Q!Roier's soul.

But, the same love that hurts so much, might guide them through the turmoil, offering a chance for forgiveness, understanding, and ultimately, redemption.

In the midst of this tragedy, the strength of their love remains an anchor, a glimmer of hope that refuses to be extinguished. It is a testament to their resilience and the depth of their bond.

And that gives me hope. I can, indeed, see hope in that.

But only after everything that needs to be hurt is hurt.

And everything that needs to be healed, is healed.

[...] Love can be good, it can be bad, it can be hurtful, it can be joyful. Love is a compilation of every feeling a human is going to feel in their life.

[kalikalahansa]

Hey Kali,

I recently found your old blog but after everything had been archived. I read your post most recent post and was wondering if you were still okay to answer some untraining questions? (Totally 100% understand if not though).

I (24f) have been 24/7 for 6 years now, untraining bladder for 2/3 years. While I use my diapers for everything I've never gotten past messing standing up. In contrast I'm a heavy bed wetter and rarely notice much if any signal to wet during the day. I've decided it's time to properly take a look at complete incontinence since everyone already perceives me as such and I won't be leaving diapers!

I was wondering if there was any advice you could give to help with getting over the initial hurdle for untraining my bowels?

Again totally and completely understand if you've moved away from these sort of topics. Thank you :))

Hey, anon. I have a few pieces of advice.

Make sure you're wearing diapers that have performance and fit characteristics that would make you feel comfortable messing them. Early in my own untraining I was wearing Molicare Super Plus diapers that fit fine and were perfectly fine for wetting but fit really tightly over the butt. You need a diaper that has some room in the butt without being loose and that also has a high back.

Make sure your clothes provide adequate room and support. One thing that made me feel more comfortable messing my diapers was wearing bib-and-brace overalls under my other clothes when the weather permitted, because it meant there was something to support and catch my diaper without wrapping very tightly around it. I've since realised I'm a woman, which means I can and/or do dress in ways that are typically associated specifically with women; if I had the chance now I would have picked A-line skirts and tights, most likely. Up to you what you think is best.

Take an internal deodorant. I make the same two recommendations every time I have reason to mention them: bismuth subgallate and chlorophyllin. They won't help you get over the initial hurdle, but when they're effective in controlling the smell, they reduce the friction that encourages you to stop trying to untrain messing.

Change your diet. I've been delaying responding to a few questions which involve this as an answer because I want to compile my research on diet and untraining but I just haven't had time. The short version is it will help immensely if you

drink more water

eat more fibre

avoid red meat because it'll make your poop smell

avoid consistently consuming foods that you know cause diarrhoea, since the point is to get better at messing from your previous baseline voluntary standpoint, not to make yourself have painful accidents/gut disruption that you can't sustain

Dietary changes are tremendously important because as I recall even from a continent standpoint they're the difference between having to put in a lot of mechanical effort to mess and just being able to kind of gently push and have it come out. Since part of messing untraining is configuring your body so that the gentle push of autonomic peristalsis is sufficient to deal with your messing, positive dietary changes are to your advantage.

Even though you're already a long-term diaper wearer and partially untrained, I know that for some people in the same circumstances, nerves about messing their diapers can be a real stumbling block. My advice is to have an accident about it. If you have nerves about messing your diapers in front of anyone in particular, make yourself do it at least once. If you can't do it voluntarily, do it involuntarily. This is one of the few sets of circumstances in which I think (judicious and careful) use of stimulant laxatives is an acceptable tool. Not because they're a healthy long-term way to make yourself have accidents or anything — they're not, in fact quite the opposite — but because I genuinely think the biggest hurdle with confronting messing under circumstances that make you nervous about it is having it happen and surviving it. Once that's happened it doesn't seem like nearly as much of a threat.

[yuu-kumeii]

"What do you think you'll get for White day, [Y/N]?"

"Oh, probably a box of chocolates or something heart themed"

You don't actually know and for good reason too. For as long as you've been married, you can never exactly pin down your husband's train of thought when it comes to his love language. Love language being the term that he uses to justify the ungodly amount of things he buys you on any available occasion. It's not wrong call it his love language but you think there would be a word to describe the sheer amount of excuses he has compiled in that mind of his for every gift he brings home for you.

Unfortunately, as much as you want to use the word spoil to describe it. No word can encapsulate the excuses ~and~ the frequency of these presents. They're like objects that suddenly appear in your house like they've been there this whole time, but you know they haven't. Everytime one appears, you ask your husband and get the confirmation that "Yes, they are for you and no I will not take no for answer" before the culprit skips off to work like he didn't just buy you completely cute but unnecessary.

So that's why you can earnestly say you don't actually know. Because White day day? You know, the holiday where it's customary to give something back to the one you love? The one holiday that reciprocates care for the bond you have with another, that White Day? Trying to guess would be like trying to guess how you die, other than the most obvious option, you can't just guess and know whether or not you're right. But now that you think about it, maybe this Valentine's day will be the one where you get a nice, regular sized box of chocolates and maybe even a bouquet of your favourite flowers. Though you hope that this time, he'll let the store clerk help him with arranging it. Whatever you're getting on this Valentine's day might be completely ordinary and similar to the ones your coworkers get from their significant others....

Oh who are you kidding? It's probably going to be extra.

But you have no time to think about that because it's right back to work after all the Valentine's talk around the office. Well at least you try to ignore it but with the obvious flower decor and suprise partners visiting to see their significant other hard at work, it's hard not to let your mind spiral once again to dwell on just what your unpredictable husband might get you. Yet you persist in your work and tune out everything around you for the time being. Hopefully until the end of your shift which may or may not be earlier than usual given the chipper yet intimidatingly efficient work ethic of your coworkers today. If only they were like this every other day.... Oh well, you'll take what you can get.

The workload vanished as fast as it came, everyone was ready to pack up and leave to celebrate what was left of Valentine's day with their partners. Some already left once they've finished their share while the rest opted to stay for a bit of chit chat, more discussion on what their partners would get them and all the more reason you feel lost in your answer to the various questions thrown your way. It's no secret to anyone that your husband would sell his kidney if it meant getting you something special, the thought came up so frequently that it became a running joke at your expense. Not that you really minded since the jokes were more than true to reality itself, you can't count the amount of times your husband burst in your office in a panic just because you accidentally left your lunch at home. He'd pout while telling you to be more careful as if he hasn't left his fair share of packed lunches, though you do think he might be doing it on purpose just to see and brag about you to his friends.

You've really been drifting in your thoughts the whole work day because the second you take in your surroundings, there were only a handful of people left. Gone were the endless conversations and the bright office light, replaced with a sunset glow signalling for your departure. Absentmindedly bidding the rest goodbye, you walk into the elevator and descend. Alone with your thoughts once more but not for long, as the doors open to reveal an empty reception desk. Man, you really have lost track of time. The sun starts to bid its farewell yet it doesn't stop the sound of people getting pulled into pastry shops for a last minute White day gift. Well it might not be last minute but it does look like it considering the greatly reduced amounts of people. You remember just how crowded the shopping mall was, partners and students alike rushing to find something for their significant other. How funny it reminded you of yourself in high school, who would've thought the amount of stress it took just to find the perfect Valentine's Day chocolates for your then school crush. The same crush who ended up spoiling you for White Day, telling you to wait for his graduation because White Day wasn't the only day he wanted to spoil you. Such a cheesy line, how did you ever see him as anything but a dork? You know the answer to that yet remembering it would be too embarrassing.

In the midst of all your reminiscing, you didn't realize you were already home until you almost tripped on the first step. But not to worry, you've done that at least 2 times eversince you both moved in so you're probably almost immune to the pain.

Yeah, keep telling yourself that.

With nothing else to stall with, you finally make your way inside the desolate house. The lights still off and nothing out of place, just how you left it this morning. To be honest, you feel like it looks a bit sad. But that's probably because it's White Day and your husband is probably just on his way home now, the empty house makes you feel like a single woman but not to worry because that will change at one point of the evening. In the meantime, you settled for a shower to get your mind off the White Day everything. Even though your house has nothing even relating to it, the anticipation of your husband showing up to finally answer the question that's been nagging at the back of your head is killing you. Once changed, you make your way to the kitchen to get yourself something to eat while waiting for—

Knock

Knock

Knock

Oh no.

He's here.... and doesn't choose to just walk inside? He wants you to open the door for him and what? See for yourself what he has planned? Does he want you to open the door to surprise you? To tackle you inside? What if he doesn't have a gift and he just gives you a hug? Nothing wrong with that but all that stress for a hug? Well, it might not be but what if—

KNOCK

KNOCK

KNOCK

Oh right he's still there, still waiting for you to open the door. Well, here goes nothing—

"Welcome ho— eh—"

This was not what you were expecting, this was far from it actually. You knew your husband wouldn't dare forget something like White Day but neither did you think his surprise would be this well surprising. Now you don't actually know what this is supposed to be but what you can say is that it's a lot, very overwhelming because if it weren't for the doorframe you're sure it would tower over you no matter what height you are. The thing that surprised you the most was the fluffy teddy bear face that greeted you instead of your husband, the teddy bear had a good enough face but you'd rather kiss the love of your life than the ominous blank face of a stuffed bear that clearly is one size too large for your door. Not only the bear, but there was an ocean of red, pink, and white around it. Bouquets themed after one color each and chocolates of different shapes and flavors with their boxes to match, there were boxes of what you assume are pastries from the shopping district coupled with enough cards to last till your 25th anniversary yet even all that probably doesn't scrape the surface of this White Day gift supreme package or whatever it is. But behind it all was the sheepish expression of your husband who politely asks to be let inside so none of what he's carrying would bury you, as someone who values their life you step aside to let him in. Though you should've seen it coming, nothing could prepare you for the look of absolute disarray once your husband found out he couldn't just waltz in and have the gifts phase through the wall. He looks so confused now that he has to actually think of how he's going to get him and the pile inside the house, you can see it behind his eyes. The desolate mind behind it too tired to find an answer, to the point he felt the need to look at you with a helpless face just begging you to help him.

And being the helpful lover you are, you laugh at his dismay before giving him an amused expression. It isn't until he starts pouting outside in the night breeze unwilling to step inside until the pile gets in first that you roll your eyes playfully before telling him to put the pile down so you both can take it in more manageable bundles. Your husband puts the pile down and watches as you take the top of his haul into your hands to place it on your kitchen counter, still watching as you go back to get more. It's ok though, because you can see the gears turning in his head for a second which finally prompts him to start mirroring your actions. Not long after, the mass is successfully moved inside. Now that you have a proper look at it, most of these things look like they've been kept in good condition. Not that you think the quality would be in shambles but you expected at least a little bit of wear and tear considering the time it took for these to get here, assuming he bought them during the prime time for White Day sales that is.

Oh how wrong you are, but you'll find that out soon. Right when your thoughts start to spiral, your husband walks downstairs clean and ready to explain himself. Well maybe you'll be the one to make him but that's besides the point.

"Ok... Care to explain why this pile of chocolates, flowers and cards is about three times your size?" The calm smoothness of your voice cannot mask the entirety of your awe but it's enough to have your husband stop in his place like a deer caught in headlights, you're not even looking at him at this point. Turned towards the pile of chocolate that definitely should be in the fridge by now and yet not making a move to do so. A moment of silence ensues before your husband answers.

"They said that if I got you all this it'll make you love me more..."

Huh.

"Wait, who are 'they'?"

"The people at the shopping district, I didn't have time to get you a gift in the morning so I went there on the way home and then the people there came up to me saying how they have 'the perfect White Day surprise for your partner' and about how you'd expect something big from me today.... So I bought everything they recommended...."

This guy. This pure, dumb, cute, whatever thing you can call him—! You can't believe he got ganged up like that! How dare those shopkeepers take advantage of your poor defenseless husband on White Day! You can imagine the smirks on those guys, probably proud of themselves about the last minute sale they managed to get. All because your husband was manipulated into thinking you'd love him any less if he came home empty handed, the audacity of some people! You'll give them a piece of your mind when you get the chance—

"Are you mad?"

You must've let it show on your face that you're planning to probably beat up some poor store clerk right after White Day, but it's fine because he will never know the thoughts behind the face. And honestly, you aren't mad. Far from it actually, you feel so loved. Because what kind of person would willingly follow the suggestions of multiple shopkeepers from different shops on gifts for their wife? Well, your husband unsurprisingly but it's in the name of love so everything should be fine. Though you will make sure to tell him that just one White Day package is enough of a surprise already, not to mention the fact that you might have to share the chocolates with friends and family if you don't want them to be wasted.

"No of course not, c'mere... "

With light footsteps you stop right in front of him, gazing into his eyes with a loving look. You smile and take his face into your hands, his breath hitches at the distance between you. Funny how you do this on almost every 'special occasion' and yet he still acts as if it's the first time you've done anything this intimate. Besides that, you continue to close the distance before giving him a kiss. One that prompts him to put his hands on your hips out of reflex to pull you closer, a light hue spread across his face making him look extra cute. But before he could reciprocate, you pull away causing him to chase your lips. A giggle was pulled from you at the sight of your big strong husband all pouty and flush, looking at you with eyes that screamed for you to continue kissing him. Unfortunately for him, it seems you have other plans because not only did you pull away from the kiss, you pulled yourself away from him entirely. Your husband looks so lost, even more so when you turn away from him to pick up a box of chocolates. Opening it and popping one into your mouth before looking back at him innocently.

"What? We have all this chocolate now, can't let it go to waste"

Your smile dropping into an amused grin as you kept eating the chocolates, leaving your husband to once again take a few seconds to process what you just said. Finally gathering his bearings, your husband huffs at you. Pout still present yet his demeanor now turned playful, you know what he's going to do.

"Why you—! Get over here and gimme that kiss!"

This was better than what you could ever expect.

ATSUMU <3333, BOKUTO <333, HINATA, Kita, Osamu, LEV <33, Kageyama, Oikawa (probably so proud of himself), Kuroo (Definitely proud too), Iwaizumi, All hq boys probably did this at some point let's be real

[hindahoney]

Hey, I hope you have a nice day :)

I am considering converting but I'll take some more time to overthink that. What do you think are some, or many, questions I should ask myself, before deciding?

I saw some people recommend to just go to a rabbi, even if you are not 100% sure, but since there are very little jewish people in my country, and only a handful of conversions a year, I assume it'll be something new for a rabbi too and I don't want to bother anyone.

So, I think this is a good time to address this. This is absolutely not because of this specific anon, but it's something that I get sent asks about on a daily basis.

I am no longer going to be answering questions about conversions. I will answer any other questions or concerns about Judaism, but I'm not giving advice about converting anymore. There's a few reasons for this. Namely because it's too close to proselytizing for me. Even though anons are coming to me to ask questions, I never want to come off like I am advocating for or influencing people to become Jewish.

I have answered the same questions multiple times, and still to this day get the same ones. I tag all of my stuff, so if someone really wanted to know something about conversions they should do the work to just search through my blog for what I have already said. It's not just me, either. Essentially any Jewish blogger has, at one point, had gentiles sending them questions about conversion unprompted. I strongly believe that if you really wanted to learn about Judaism, that if you were sincere and serious about converting, you should at least read up a little online before going to ask basic questions to random Jews online. Not every Jewish person is comfortable with this, not every Jewish person should be expected to be the spokesperson for the tribe.

Every question about conversion can be answered with "Ask your Rabbi." If you have too much anxiety or other obstacles in your way that prevent you from speaking to a Rabbi, you cannot convert, and that's your answer.

By no means does this mean that I don't like or appreciate converts. I've made a lot of posts in support and admiration for those who have completed the process. But at this point almost all of the asks I get are from people asking me basic questions about conversion that 1. I have answered multiple times, and 2. That would take a quick Google search to find the answer for. If you're not willing to put in the work for a Google search, or for a search through my or other bloggers tags about conversion, you do not have the drive to get through the conversion process. Which is fine, it isn't meant for everyone! But expecting a random Jew online to do the legwork for you isn't fair. I've taken many hours (weeks, if you include reading through all of them) compiling sources of books, podcasts, websites, etc all dedicated to learning about Judaism and have posted links to all of them. There are a million books out there for really any question you might have, even free articles from places like Chabad, Sefaria, or myjewishlearning.

If you have specific questions, other than just "advice about converting?" I will gladly answer those, but I will no longer be answering question about conversion resources, how to convert, should I convert, etc.

[moose-mousse]

So I made an app for PROTO. Written in Kotlin and runs on Android.

Next, I want to upgrade it with a controller mode. It should work so so I simply plug a wired xbox controller into my phone with a USB OTG adaptor… and bam, the phone does all the complex wireless communication and is a battery. Meaning that besides the controller, you only need the app and… any phone. Which anyone is rather likely to have Done.

Now THAT is convenient!

( Warning, the rest of the post turned into... a few rants. ) Why Android? Well I dislike Android less than IOS

So it is it better to be crawling in front of the alter of "We are making the apocalypse happen" Google than "5 Chinese child workers died while you read this" Apple?

Not much…

I really should which over to a better open source Linux distribution… But I do not have the willpower to research which one... So on Android I stay.

Kotlin is meant to be "Java, but better/more modern/More functional programming style" (Everyone realized a few years back that the 100% Object oriented programming paradigme is stupid as hell. And we already knew that about the functional programming paradigme. The best is a mix of everything, each used when it is the best option.) And for the most part, it succeeds. Java/Kotlin compiles its code down to "bytecode", which is essentially assembler but for the Java virtual machine. The virtual machine then runs the program. Like how javascript have the browser run it instead of compiling it to the specific machine your want it to run on… It makes them easy to port…

Except in the case of Kotlin on Android... there is not a snowflakes chance in hell that you can take your entire codebase and just run it on another linux distribution, Windows or IOS…

So... you do it for the performance right? The upside of compiling directly to the machine is that it does not waste power on middle management layers… This is why C and C++ are so fast!

Except… Android is… Clunky… It relies on design ideas that require EVERY SINGLE PROGRAM AND APP ON YOUR PHONE to behave nicely (Lots of "This system only works if every single app uses it sparingly and do not screw each-other over" paradigms .). And many distributions from Motorola like mine for example comes with software YOUR ARE NOT ALLOWED TO UNINSTALL... meaning that software on your phone is ALWAYS behaving badly. Because not a single person actually owns an Android phone. You own a brick of electronics that is worthless without its OS, and google does not sell that to you or even gift it to you. You are renting it for free, forever. Same with Motorola which added a few extra modifications onto Googles Android and then gave it to me.

That way, google does not have to give any rights to its costumers. So I cannot completely control what my phone does. Because it is not my phone. It is Googles phone.

That I am allowed to use. By the good graces of our corporate god emperors

"Moose stares blankly into space trying to stop being permanently angry at hoe everyone is choosing to run the world"

… Ok that turned dark… Anywho. TLDR There is a better option for 95% of apps (Which is "A GUI that interfaces with a database") "Just write a single HTML document with internal CSS and Javascript" Usually simpler, MUCH easier and smaller… And now your app works on any computer with a browser. Meaning all of them…

I made a GUI for my parents recently that works exactly like that. Soo this post:

It was frankly a mistake of me to learn Kotlin… Even more so since It is a… awful language… Clearly good ideas then ruined by marketing department people yelling "SUPPORT EVERYTHING! AND USE ALL THE BUZZWORD TECHNOLOGY! Like… If your language FORCES you to use exceptions for normal runtime behavior "Stares at CancellationException"... dear god that is horrible...

Made EVEN WORSE by being a really complicated way to re-invent the GOTO expression… You know... The thing every programmer is taught will eat your feet if you ever think about using it because it is SO dangerous, and SO bad form to use it? Yeah. It is that, hidden is a COMPLEATLY WRONG WAY to use exceptions…

goodie… I swear to Christ, every page or two of my Kotlin notes have me ranting how I learned how something works, and that it is terrible... Blaaa. But anyway now that I know it, I try to keep it fresh in my mind and use it from time to time. Might as well. It IS possible to run certain things more effective than a web page, and you can work much more directly with the file system. It is... hard-ish to get a webpage to "load" a file automatically... But believe me, it is good that this is the case.

Anywho. How does the app work and what is the next version going to do?

PROTO is meant to be a platform I test OTHER systems on, so he is optimized for simplicity. So how you control him is sending a HTTP 1.1 message of type Text/Plain… (This is a VERY fancy sounding way of saying "A string" in network speak). The string is 6 comma separated numbers. Linear movement XYZ and angular movement XYZ.

The app is simply 5 buttons that each sends a HTTP PUT request with fixed values. Specifically 0.5/-0.5 meter/second linear (Drive back or forward) 0.2/-0.2 radians/second angular (Turn right or turn left) Or all 0 for stop

(Yes, I just formatted normal text as code to make it more readable... I think I might be more infected by programming so much than I thought...)

Aaaaaanywho. That must be enough ranting. Time to make the app

[safesthaveninexistence]

IM DIVINELY THANKFUL I SEEN BREEZE ORACLE TALK TO ME CONFIRM ME VALIDATE ME I SAW THE NAME LAILA TWICE SO I KNOW EVERYTHINGS MOVING FORWARD I SAW PARANORMAL CONFIRMATION EVERYTHINGS MOVING FORWARD I ATE STRAWBERRY CREPES W CHOCOLATE I HAVE THE EASIEST SUCCESS EASIEST PROGRESS MY DESIRES POP UP IN FRONT OF ME W EASE WHATS MEANT FOR ME IS FOR ME I CANNOT RUIN IT THATS WHY I HAVE MY APPLE IMAC COMPUTER CAUSE ITS MEANT FOR ME I CANNOT RID MY BLESSINGS OR MY DESIRES LIKE ITLL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR ME AND WITH ME IM DIVINELY THANKFUL I TALKED TO VANDANA AND GAVE HER THE PERSPECTIVES I REALLY REALLY WANTED TO SHARE WITH HER SO IM VERY THANKFUL I HAVE MY DESIRES IM VERY THANKFUL IM ON MY DESIRED FREQUENCY WHERE I HAVE MY DREAM PRIVATE JET IM DIVINELY THANKFUL MY BOUNDARIES ARE WORTH THE WEIGHT OF OVER AN ANTONELLAMANIA NUMBER OF VIRGOS SO EVERYTHING HAS TO GO THE WAY I DESIRE AND ITS MY WORLD COMPLETELY SO! IM DIVINELY THANKFUL I FINALLY HAVE MY DESIRES I POSTED MY SEXY COMPILATION AND THEN SAID IM ART AND MY POWER IS MY ABILITY TO EVOKE DESIRE IM DIVINELY THANKFUL I HAVE MY DESIRES AT JUST THE RIGHT TIMING SO ALL I WANT EFFORTLESSLY COMES TO ME WITH EASE ITS ALL ABOUT DIVINE ORDER AND DIVINE TIMING IT ALL ALWAYS UNFOLD PERFECTLY SO YEAH IM DIVINELY THANKFUL VANDANA REALLY LIKED THAT PERSPECTIVES I SHARED HER IM SO THANKFULLLLL IM DIVINELY THANKFUL I POSTED EROS THEN SAW THE DUDE WHO OWNSSSSS THE FIRELINE VAN LIKE DUDE EVERYTHINGGGGG ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHINGGGGG IS WORKING OUT FOR ME WAY MORE THAN FINE WAYYYYYY BETTER THAN I THINK AND IMAGINE SO THATS WHAT IT IS NOTHINGS STOPPING IT NO ONES GOING AGAINST IT NO ONE IS FOLLOWING ME CLOSE BEHIND TRAILING ME BEHIND WAITING TO SABOTAGE ME LIKE NONE OF THAT I AM TRULY SAFE I CAN EFFORTLESSLY HAVE ALL OF MY DESIRES IM ALREADY SECURED IN MY DESIRED REALITY IM ALREADY UNTHREATENED IM ALREADY SAFE IM ALREADY SECURED IM ALREADY LOVED MY WITHIN IS FULLBLOWN UNCONDITIONAL LOVE FOR ME UNCONDITIONAL LOYALTY TO ME UNCONDITIONAL DEVOTION TO ME IM DIVINELY THANKFUL THE DEPTHS TO ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE IS COMPLETELY ALL ABOUT ME WINNING IM DIVINELY THANKFUL FOR EVERY SINGLE THING THAT HAS HELPED ME AND WILL ONLY CONTINUE TO HELP ME THATS MINDBLOWING HOW SECURED I AM HOW SAFE I AM HOW LOVED I AM HOW FORTUNATE I AM HOW BLESSED I AM HOW TRUSTABLY UNDERSTOOD I AM HOW EVERYTHING THAT I AM I DONT HAVE ANY ENEMIES NO ONE IS FIGHTING ME ATP ITS ALL ABOUT ENERGETIC SUCCESS PSYCHIC SUCCESS IM DIVINELY THANKFUL NO ONE IS TRYING TO ONE UP ME NO ONE IS ABLE TO FIND MY FLAWS SIMPLY BECAUSE IM THE REALEST IM AUTHENTIC IM ME AND BECAUSE IM ME IM PERFECT AND ALL EVERYONE SEES IM FUCKING PERFECT TOO JUST BY ME BEING FUCKING AUTHENTIC THE REALEST BRUH LIKE I LOVE IT HERE BRUH EVERYONE CHOOSES ME EVERYONE FAVORS ME EVERYONE PREFERS ME EVERYONE NEEDS ME EVERYONE NEEDS MY APPROVAL VALIDATION EVERYONE KNOWS IM STRONG EVERYONE KNOWS IM ATTRACTIVE LIKE OBJECTIVELY ATTRACTIVE PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE JUST LIKE HOW ITS OBJECTIVE FACT IM TYPING THIS ON MY PHONE IM ACTUALLY OBJECTIVELY STUNNING GORGEOUS PRETTIEST PRETTY BEAUTIFUL RADIANT VIBRANT THAT BITCH THAT GIRL IT GIRL LEADER PRESTIGIOUS ELITE RICH WEALTHY PERFECT FLAWLESS AUTHENTIC DESIRABLE DESIRED THE LUCKIEST EVERYONE FEELS SO FUCKING LUCKY TO HAVE ME IN THEIR LIVES IM SO FUCKING THANKFUL THAT I HAVE ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING IVE EVER DESIRED TO OCCUR ACTUALLY OCCUR IM DIVINELY THANKFUL FOR THE MAGIC IM EXPERIENCING IM DIVINELY THANKFUL FOR THE FRIENDS I HAVE THE TRUSTABLE MAGICAL FRIENDS THAT I HAVE THAT CARE ABOUT ME DEEPLY AND VERY VERY VERY VERY PROFOUNDLY AND LOVE ME VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY PROFOUNDLY ENSURING IM SAFE AND OKAY AND MORE THAN FINE AND THRIVING AND SUCCESSFUL 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹✨🥰🥰💕🩷🩷💕💕🥰🥰✨✨🥹🥹🥹✨✨✨✨✨✨🥹🥹 IM DIVINELY THANKFUL EVERYONE HAS THE UTMOSTESTLY SOFTEST SPOT FOR ME🥹✨🥰💕

[fallloverfic]

@craftybookworm25 replied to your post "Censorship of panels in the Chinese print release of 再见, 我的国王/See You My King by Wen Yuan":

Thanks for compiling this! I found out about SYMK a couple days ago and binged it in 2-3 days. (Can’t believe I hadn’t heard of it before.) The art? Amazing, beautiful, the art is literally so proportional and amazingly colored. The plot? Interesting, political. Good mix of sweet and deep. The characters? Green flags except the villains. They’re all so intricate and 3 dimensional. Each character has a distinct voice and personality. The relationships? Amazing. They’re all literally power couples. I just wish the fandom was bigger because it’s literally amazing and I have no one to talk to about it. I also sincerely hope they're willing to send the uncensored pages to be translated to a non-Chinese publisher for an uncensored release. I would love to have a hard copy

This got long so I put it in a post of its own, sorry. I've drafted a number of posts over the past year or so that touches on stuff here, including a sort of half-assed one on Blue Sky. But I'll go into it a little here. If you don't care, obviously feel free to ignore it.

I'm glad you're enjoying SYMK! It's a fun series for what it is, and I love Mimi/Zhang Li and Veelaveesa/Evtiti. There's some pretty art and neat ideas in it, a lot of fun humor, and it explores trauma from sexual assault in interesting ways. Also it's just fun when Mimi is thirsty over Zhang Li. And I'm glad you appreciated my summary of the censorship problems!

I'm not particularly sure what "proportional" means in this context. Wen Yuan is generally a good artist, though their art does have some issues (mostly Akinatton's design, it's just... mmm... Imu is also kind of strangely drawn).

I'm also not sure what a flag system is meant to mean for fictional characters. Red flags are for real people and situations, not folks who don't exist (e.g., I got into the situation and there was a red flag, so I left). Like... I'm not interested in dating or hanging out with or working with the characters, I'm interested in reading about them, so what is the value of a flag system here? The goal is to see how the characters interact with each other. And antagonists are meant to be antagonists. Generally, the best characters are messy. They make for great stories. I know this flag system is popular on booktok, which is one reason I avoid booktok. If everyone was squeaky clean for that green flag, whatever that means, the story would be boring.

I am writing the following while full of love for the series, as someone who's written three fics for it, bought a lot of merch for it, including the first three volumes of it in Chinese, and buys episodes of it on Kuaikan and Tappytoon. I've promoted it on multiple platforms, and suggested it to a number of people I know. It's a good series. If you don't like criticism of it, I would stop reading this post now. Here's a panel from Episode 93 of The Bois looking prette for buffer.

There's a lot of reasons I think the fandom is unfortunately small, and I'm not quite sure how those issues will be surmounted before it's complete or just outside the passage of time for the fandom to grow more, though I think the fandom is bigger than it looks, at least in China and Thailand. I've been in the fandom since October 2022, and at least from my perception, it hasn't grown much in that time, though it helps that there's a lot more story and an official English translation now.

Part of the issue is tag hunting. The most popular tags are SYMK and See You My King and seeyoumyking, but people who only read in say, English or any non-Chinese language, are statistically less likely to know that, especially if they find it through Tappytoon or Tapas, where that is not its English name. It's the official English name on Chinese merch, but that's not the name that English licensors use for it. So a small fandom is dispersed across many different tags (e.g., the three English names, the Chinese name, the transliteration of the Chinese names, the initialism, an assortment of versions of the name with and without spaces, on top of tags grabbing anything with "king" in it). This hasn't been an issue for other danmei, but at least every tag gets decently popular in a lot of those danmei. There's one particular danmei that is so popular that the accidental misspelling of a tag is ridiculously populated. On Blue Sky Social, of all places. But SYMK can't even really populate one tag, let alone a misspelling.

It seems to have a decent audience on Weibo (from what little I've seen), but even then, that's a drop in an ocean (though I think the signed copies of the books sell pretty fast in China, which speaks to fandom power). What little fandom I find outside Weibo is mostly the same small handful of people sharing screencaps and a couple cosplayers. It has less than a dozen pieces of fanart floating around and it's not spoken of much on the danmei servers I'm in (though I did end up in one server for Europeans who seemed really into it). It's got something of an audience on Instagram, but Instagram is a pain in the ass to navigate, especially because it's even more full of people just spamming screengrabs. (But I mean if you're looking for people to talk to about it... maybe try Instagram? I guess?)

But I think the central issue is that there are (to my knowledge) only really two big boys love comics based on Egyptian stuff, SYMK and ENNEAD. There are other boys love comics based on Egyptian history, culture, and mythology, like Cairo and エジプト神の恋人, but ENNEAD and SYMK are the two big ones that I know of, and there's little else outside Cairo and エジプト神の恋人; and Cairo is the only other one with an official English translation. Most other Egyptian comics I'm aware of aren't BL and/or aren't romance at all. Dear Monster, which is the next best thing, only has one Egyptian god romance in it, the other characters are just non-Egyptian fantasy creatures, and it's a visual novel. Pantheon by Hamish Steele, Oh, Suddenly, Egyptian God! by Yuka, 災禍の神は願わない by 尾羊英, and Legends of the Nile by Dooyong Jang and Bohyun Kim aren't BL or romance.

Why this matters is that comparison is unavoidable. ENNEAD has an older fandom (SYMK started in like 2022, ENNEAD existed in some form in 2017 or slightly before), which is larger, and, much as I do really love SYMK (again, I have like two shelves of merch, I've written three fics for it, and would love to write more, and recommend it whenever I can), ENNEAD is just, on all fronts (writing, art, character development, plotting, dynamics, the various themes it discusses, drama, and focusing on Egyptian mythology), the better comic. And I think most people who find out about SYMK can tell, and thus SYMK looks worse by comparison, and so folks have no interest in what SYMK has to offer as a result. Which is unfortunate, because I think SYMK is enjoyable on its own merits and even if you also like ENNEAD. There have been a number of folks in ENNEAD fandom who've recommended SYMK (myself included), particularly for folks who want more at least vaguely similar things to ENNEAD (I originally found out about SYMK through an ENNEAD fan Discord), but it's led to very little, at least in my experience.

I am also notoriously bad at getting people into new fandoms. I have very few followers/subscribers whom I've gotten to try other fandoms I write for (though I'm grateful to every single one who gives other fandoms a chance!). But I'm decently popular or at least well-known in ENNEAD as a writer and I think I've seen... a couple of my followers at best give any of my SYMK fics a try. Folks will try my other Korean fandom stuff, or my other popular danmei fandom fics, or my Japanese fandom fics, and even stuff from outside Asia. But not SYMK.

SYMK and ENNEAD are also very different comics, not just because the former is Chinese and the latter is Korean, but also because SYMK is an isekai story focusing on cross-cultural clash and political corruption, while ENNEAD focuses more on the failures of justice systems, how families enable abuse, what it means to be human (or at least how you find your purpose in life), how we engage with mythology (of the supernatural and political kind), truth, and responsibility. There are similarities (e.g., both stories focus on power dynamics, trauma from assault, sibling drama, anxiety and self-hatred, and how people who have been hurt can find love). And there are some very odd direct similarities to the point that I kind of wonder if Wen Yuan has read and/or is a fan of ENNEAD...

But my point here is that even though I think SYMK is not as good as ENNEAD, it's still good for what it is, and people should be able to appreciate it (like it's just more kind of Egyptian BL, what's not to like?). But... that's where SYMK's other issues likely come into play. Centrally, despite the fact it does go to dark places, many of which are also in ENNEAD (e.g., sexual assault, cannibalism, slavery, brother-brother incest, how strong men struggle to be viewed as victims of assault and find help as a result), it's just... too fluffy. The dynamic between the leads has, generally, been too boring. Near the end of the last season, it got pretty decent (around when Narcissus was really screwing with both Mimi and Zhang Li). But before that it was just kind of back and forth going nowhere, and the characters were inconsistently written.

Like people promote SYMK because it's, according to them, "everything ENNEAD fails to be" or whatever because they hate the dark stuff in ENNEAD and just want fluff (or at least think complaining loudly that this is what they hate and what they want makes them a better person). Or it's so much "better", and yet, despite the fact there's a lot of comic for SYMK now, very few people actually read or care about it outside China (and parts of Europe, and Thailand). Like, a popular criticism of ENNEAD is that sexual assault in narratives is fine, but not as much as what's in ENNEAD. And okay, fine, I say: read SYMK. It's got less of that.

-cue cricket noises-

So it seems like people prefer all that awful, awful non-con overload in ENNEAD after all. -pretending to be shocked because actually ENNEAD is well-written, well-drawn, and fun, lots of people do like that stuff, and people are just shoving their personal shame onto others-

Don't get me wrong, I know SYMK appeals to a lot of people who aren't satisfied with ENNEAD or just don't want what's in ENNEAD. But SYMK had a faster English translation during its publication cycle than ENNEAD did. SYMK has 93 episodes. The leads are together, it's got merch out the wazoo. People complained that it took forever to get an English translation of ENNEAD, that it has no merch (which isn't true at least now), and there's not enough romance in it. ENNEAD even had a month hiatus in Korean recently. And that led to no jumps in SYMK's fandom that I noticed. Something is keeping people from getting into SYMK and I can only conclude... it's at least some of the stuff people insist SYMK does "better" on, because people (myself included) disagree SYMK does better at it.

Or at least the things SYMK allegedly does better at aren't enough to surmount its less great aspects.

And we're not getting into how, because SYMK is Chinese, it's way more censored than most things. Like in a way I haven't seen even on other danmei. I admit I haven't explored all that many danmei manhua, but it's really egregious (not surprising; people get arrested in China for this kind of stuff due to the government's homophobia). And I think that bores a lot of people. It's too fluffy, too safe, too censored. Will-they-won't-they tension with a bit of humor just isn't grabbing people. And while I love Veelaveesa and Evtiti and find them cute and funny and love every single panel we get of them the best (like I both hope for and fear more Evtiti merch, it is my kryptonite, save my wallet), there's just not enough tension in their relationship to appeal to most folks, either.

Like let's compare: ENNEAD had a kiss between Seth and Osiris in S1E11, the Horuseth kiss in S1E14, and a sex scene that started in S1E29. SYMK had some hand holding and cuddling between Zhang Li and Stone early on... a maybe almost kiss in Episode 4, and then... nothing really until Episode 19, when Veelaveesa and Evtiti kiss and lounge in bed together (which is wonderful, but it's not sex, nor is it the leads). The leads have some daydreaming, and more recently some kissing and cuddling, but they don't really get it on (outside a dream of Mimi's) until Episode 92 (and it's some light touching, chest squishing, a couple kisses, some good make-outs, and then one shadow sequence before they're just on a bed together, versus multiple longer sex scenes in ENNEAD). SYMK is a decently chaste manhua, seemingly due to censorship. ENNEAD delivers much earlier, and in larger quantities. And despite the fact that Zhang Li and Mimi get along faster and stay together (in some respect) earlier than Horuseth, that is clearly not enough to keep an audience of much size (outside China). People can go on about how much "healthier" Zhang Li and Mimi are. But that doesn't seem to be grabbing anyone. SYMK is not the alternate BL I see any of the many ENNEAD fans I follow talking about, or an alternative people who dislike ENNEAD suggest, even when including manhua. Heck, since I started more regularly browsing tags for it, I see it brought up even less than I used to, which is bizarre, because I assumed the sex scene would bring in more fans.

The leads just aren't as fun, or even on their own, that fun. I like them, I like writing about them, I want to see what happens to them. I wish them the best future. They both have interesting struggles, Mimi in particular. But they're also kind of generally boring, even without Seth and Horus to compare to. Zhang Li is whatever the story needs him to be. Mimi bounces back and forth (partially because of Zhang Li's nonsense). The miscommunication becomes frustrating.

The antagonists aren't very compelling, either. Sutter is fun, but he vanished for a good chunk of the recent plot (and also his character feels a bit inconsistent) and now he's permagone. The church members are just irritating. The faux Set/Osiris priest died before doing much. Sutter's zombie never got much development (his most interesting moment is right before he's presumably dismembered). Mimi and Sutter's brother has been dead the entire time. We still don't know why Zhang Li was transported back. Narcissus is... whatever the plot needs him to be, which is kind of boring. So you've got a kind of vague, wandering plot, a meandering lead romance (with a side canon pairing who don't show much, especially since they're apart for most of the story), and that's... it.

Another central issue is that it doesn't fully embrace the Egyptian stuff. It's more of a mix of pseudo Greek-Egyptian stuff, and that's going to frustrate people looking for more... not exactly accurate, but more actually focused on Greek and/or Egyptian stuff. Since it's fantasy, and fiction, the author can do whatever they want, but in SYMK's case, that often feels like the Egyptian stuff in particular is there for the aesthetic, not as actual world-building. It does bring in some neat Egyptian cultural and historical stuff (like the cone bread), but it's less important than a comparable Egyptian boys love comic like ENNEAD, which more heavily embraces the Egyptian inspiration.

I also think the idea of "modern Chinese medical student going back to the past to learn how to survive in Ancient Egypt" is neat as a premise but boring in execution. Zhang Li is an expert spy and fighter and really smart, and he has reasons for being the way he is, but it makes a lot of problems lack tension. And when he does face real obstacles... the problems seem stupid. Like they're just designed for him to get rescued (assuming he didn't set it up himself to fuck with either Mimi or their enemies). The existence of magic is wonky as well. The world-building is basically just a mess in general. And anyone who doesn't care about isekai is going to give it a pass right off the bat (I know a number of people who hate isekai, it's a hard sell). ENNEAD, meanwhile, is not isekai, and deals with a lot of neat mythology (also it has more magic; magic is cool).

The art in SYMK is generally nice and the characters generally look good. That being said, Mimi is basically one of a small handful of good-looking and/or interesting characters. Zhang Li is pretty enough, but he's also kind of bland. I love Evtiti (visually, he's my favorite after Mimi, and personality-wise, he's my favorite), but he's a bit too slinky and he doesn't show up much. Veelaveesa is fine but there's something weird about his face, particularly near his hairline. Narcissus is fine and generic. Kaba's pretty, and again, seldom shows up. Sutter is nice, but his white hair looks odd (also he vanished for a lot of the manhua and he's now dead(?) and been revived to be white Mimi). And his bodyguard, and Stone, are just Mimi again. No one else comes to mind. Meanwhile, ENNEAD has a large cast of interesting, attractive, and fun characters. And for all Mojito's faults with art (and she does have some), she didn't do anything remotely like what Wen Yuan does with Akinatton (like even Ra isn't that bad imo). And that's... not great. And you meet him early. And from what I've seen of people's comments, that's a turn-off. Growing off that, people criticize ENNEAD because it's "whitewashing" or whatever (because they can't comprehend pale-skinned Egyptians and don't know mythology). Those people probably look at SYMK and give it an even wider pass (I imagine most of them are too clueless to realize Zhang Li is Chinese, but that's not the only issue). Also we're not getting into how a recent arc had Mimi, the main darker-skinned character... lighten his skin... (temporarily, as a disguise, but... the story does itself no favors...).

Another issue is that the English translation Kuaikan sends out is mostly garbage. Like atrociously bad. I've seen typos in some of Tappytoon's translations before, and I've never seen them as bad and frequent as what's in SYMK, to the point I really question if it's just gen-AI machine translation. Which discourages people from paying for it or paying attention to it. It's gotten better lately, but so far as I can tell, they've fixed nothing earlier.

I know, I rail against people comparing them and most of this is me comparing them, and that's not what you were doing, but well... that's where it ends up. At this point, given ENNEAD's prominence as the Egyptian boys love comic, I think its existence cannot be divorced from why SYMK's fandom is the way it is. That's not ENNEAD's fault or Mojito's fault or Wen Yuan's fault. It's just... the way it is. Maybe with time, the audience will grow. Maybe the CCP will reverse its homophobic policies and the comic will get to shine. We'll have to see!

Again, I like the series, for all its flaws. It does not surprise me, for many reasons, why it's not as popular as it could be.

That all being said, the only things I've actually seen people criticize are: the kind of racism, the slowness and will-they-won't they stuff, and that it's too fluffy. Most of the rest is very speculative and just based on observation on why something relatively similar is not appealing to a fanbase that should be all over it, and not just because I am bad at promoting things to other people. Far more popular people than I have recommended this series. It's done seemingly nothing. (Or people try it and then... never speak of it again)

Anyway, here's some cute shots of all the best bois in Episode 93 to make up for reading through all that.

From what I've seen at least of the preview for the Spanish physical release, the Spanish physical release is as uncensored as it can get, at least matching what's on Tappytoon (and I assume on Tapas). My hope is that another English publisher will get what's been put on Weibo, and they'll be allowed to do their own translation. I have the Chinese volumes, they're very pretty, I'm waiting for volume 3 to ship. But I'd love a physical version of this series that I can read and also isn't censored to heck. Like I was so mad they cut out the Veelaveesa/Evtiti stuff in the Chinese physical release and that was before I saw how much they butchered so much of Mimi and Zhang Li (and other characters, RIP borb). What gives me hope is that it does seem to have an audience: it gets a lot of merch, it's on its third volume, printing-wise, and it has two English licensors already. There are still a lot of English danmei translators, and manhua translations are slowly picking up, so my hope is maybe, at some point, we'll get an English physical release, too. I used to send in Seven Seas monthly surveys every month begging for ENNEAD before it came out, and after getting into SYMK, I added SYMK to the mix as well.

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