#this is my little weird thing I think
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my roman empire is the kennedy family
#my grandma gave me a real signed photo of Robert Kennedy she got in the 60s and some old John f kennedy bubblegum cards from when he was#president and I am LIVING#this is my little weird thing I think#I have a book on the assassination and one on rfk I have yet to read but like#this is my history buff moment#my history hyperfixation
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having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!
there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.
#and before one of u is like '' i have no friends :(" i used to be there too actually#abusive partner cut me off from ALL of 'em. i didn't think i was lovable#it made me EXCEPTIONALLY shy. i still am actually!!!!#i just ... started saying ''yes.''#i would take pictures of flyers in my library and go to whatever events they had#i started taking community classes#if someone mentioned like ''i am gonna start x group'' i actually took a deep breath#and approached them to be like . okay i want in.#i started making the first move with new people - a small compliment#a smile or a little joke. just to share the space with them.#i have MASSIVE social anxiety. bad parent and bad relationship will do that to ya.#but i just... kept going. and going. and going. to each of these little things. and then...#like. .... idk i just am very blessed. i have a STUPID number of friends#a lot of which i reconnected with. bc it turns out love is never wasted. adult life just.#like. gets in the way. but also... i loved u as a weird little kid. i love u now as a weird big adult.#i promise i PROMISE ur friends are out there. u just have 2 find them. and btw#i didn't make friends with everyone. but i did get a lot of people to smile or laugh.#aint that something.#this process took me something like 2 years. it was HARD!!!!!!!!!!#i love u!!! hard things are often worth it!!!
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Columbo and the Knight (1984)
put me in the universe where Columbo ran through the 1980s and had a crossover episode with Knight Rider. I think they deserved it, and I am not just saying that because they're my two favorite Old Shows. @telebeast wrote a little fanfic blurb about it and I HAD to visualize it into a comic (which is also the longest comic I have finished thus far at five pages...), so writing credit goes to them.
Autism W!
#columbo#knight rider#art#michael knight#kitt#comic#highlight reel#crossover#telebeast#there are two small easter eggs here. can you find them. they were somehow not Entirely lost when i resized these for the public#this is what i mean when i say I Draw And It's Everyone Else's Problem. look at my INCREDIBLY niche crossover comic boy#if the knight rider fandom has like 12 people in it. how many of y'all have seen columbo#this comic is for like 4 people and me and phoenix are already two of them#niche is my specialty lets be real. weird niche obscure shit and ships nobody's paid attention to yet#not to suggest this is ship art. columbo has his wife and michael has his car lmfao#stylizing real people is EXTREMELY hard btw sorry for when they get off model. its partly a 'better imperfect than never finished' situatio#cant tell you how much i redrew some of these panels. weeps#this took me 2 weeks but i think i thumbnailed it all in may and the ideas been rollin around in my head since march#is anybody good at editing. please edit michael and columbo into an image together like its a screenshot. NOT generated. edited.#it would be so cool#ive drawn columbo a lot but i haven't drawn a lot of michaels. i was learning things about his outfit AS I WAS DOING THE DAMN#COLORS ON THIS. all the lines done. it was too late to change anything. i did all the lines and colored page by page#i realized my mistakes on like page 3. 1 and 2 were already done. it was Too Late.#imagine it though. them working a case together. switching between the more serious tone of columbo vs the goofier#action antics of michael and kitt. columbo being so impressed by Modern Technology. there's more i could say but phoenix may write#more of this crossover and i don't want to spoil it :'3#there's opportunity here though i swear. there's gold to be dug.#i like how kitt gets shading but columbo's junker peugeot doesn't. kitt looked wrong without any. columbo's car is matte and dirty#i also applied effects to this to make it look a little film-grainy and VHS like. some CRT TV vibes#the only question left is. did they put knight rider into columbo; or columbo into knight rider 🤔
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All illustrations for The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation: Russian Edition Exclusives, Volume 5
Finally got my hands on the russian истари/Istari publication volume 5 for Mo Dao Zu Shi, so here are high resolution scans of the art exclusive to this particular edition. The art here portrays events that occur in the post-storyline extras.
Full resolution available for download here (tumblr compresses images a little)
Illustration Artist: Marina Privalova (Baoshan Karo)
[Vol. 1] - [Vol. 2] - [Vol. 3] - [Vol. 4] - [Vol. 5] (part 1)
#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#the grandmaster of demonic cultivation#the founder of diabolism#mxtx mdzs#wei wuxian#illustrations#wangxian#mdzs novel#official art#I'm working on making some upscaled scans of the art from the other novels as well#tbh these aren't actually “scans”#I actually just took pics of the pages with my phone and then have to edit it and redraw some parts of the original image or add space#because pages aren't flat and I don't own a scanner unfortunately#and sometimes the words on the other side bled through the page#these are 100% faithful though#the only things I ever had to extend are environmental#I looked for an epub or pdf of this book for so long but couldn't find it anywhere#and I mean literally anywhere 😭 scoured Russian social media sites for hours and nothing#did find an interesting weird mdzs Russian translation though#weird as in the translation was not accurate at all#but it had its own little art interspersed#I think it was a fan thing rather than an official translation
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Instead of writing a fanfic like a normal person this oneshot turned into two separate, contextless things,
#sorry it’s how my brain works (sometimes can only see things in terms of tv scene-)#tumblr exclusive video fancy…#dcmk#my art#(quietly coughing and spluttering) OK alright I can feel the creative brain explosion slowing down. geez#coughs.#nyways. weird that there hasn’t really been a main case where poison is involved in a certain way#If I watch my own scribbled boards for too long im gonna get too embarrassed to post. Send post#Subarus hair is still infuriating by the way like take that off your normal hair is easier. The beanie is easier#you like Have to have the side corners on this haircut or it doesn’t look right#anyways. shiho ptsd moments I think she kind of gets irritated that shinichi doesn’t react the same so when he does she gets like#weirded out and vindicated and a little protective. Like woah wait. Love that you understand me rn don’t like that you feel bad I am going…#to…………. ssssssssssit here about it…………………………….. uhhhh. do you want. a rubix cube to get your mind off it#I don’t want to talk about my feelings I just want you to get it. you don’t wanna talk about your feelings either which is……………. Hmmmmmm#I like her. love of my life miyano shiho#masumi sera#conan edogawa#ai haibara#akai shuichi#let conan swear. HE SWEARS A LOT BUT LET HIM SWEAR IN ENGLISH I KNOW HE KNOWS THEM#man needs his emotional support akai family they like him#rigorous trials to being approved by the akai matriarch but everyone else likes him already and have already picked him up multiple times#and shuichi would let him swear
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can we talk more about avpd being a (proposed) schizospec disorder? because i almost never see that theory talked about but i wish it was. like…
avpd makes me censor my thoughts because i think someone might hear what i’m thinking and see what a horrible person i am on the inside or judge me for thinking embarrassing things.
avpd makes me so afraid of someone walking in on me doing something i Shouldn’t Be Doing that my brain twists background noise into the sounds of whispers and footsteps behind me.
avpd makes me so worried about people staring at me that in my peripheral vision, anyone near me looks like they’re already staring at me, and it’s only when i look at them directly that i realize they’ve been looking in a totally different direction the whole time.
avpd makes me so convinced of how much everyone must secretly hate me that i often start thinking everyone secretly wants to hurt me too, to the point where i’ve had panic attacks from a person walking too close behind me because i feel like they’re getting ready to attack me (when i haven’t had any kind of trauma that would create that fear), and the paranoia just serves to reinforce my need to avoid people.
avpd makes me lose my ability to speak or reduces it to nothing more than one word answers only when spoken to, turning the thoughts i wanted to express into a jumble that’s impossible to turn into words or just throwing them away completely and making my mind go blank, so i end up just staring at people silently or even acting like i don’t see them standing there at all (not on purpose but because my brain won’t let me engage with them).
avpd makes me look damn near emotionless around everyone but my safe person (and sometimes even around my safe person) because showing my emotions would be far too vulnerable for its liking, so it completely takes away my ability to express them.
and i could keep going! there are so many things i experience because of avpd that i’ve seen really closely reflected in the experiences of schizospec people. i don’t know how common these kinds of things are in avpd overall, but they’re a really prominent part of my experience with it, so when i found out that some research suggested it could be considered a schizospec disorder itself, that made so much sense to me! and i’d be so curious to see how many other avoidants have dealt with this stuff but haven’t talked about it because it’s never mentioned as being part of avpd.
#this post was brought to you from the Looking Over My Shoulder Frozen In Fear Because Of The Whispers™️ position#which is. quite a common position for me#im honestly kinda nervous to post this bc i feel like somebody’s gonna be like ‘thats not avpd!’ or ‘thats not schizospec stuff!’#but oh well. that’s just how it is on the internet#i also feel a little weird about the wording bc i don’t really see avpd as an outside force that Makes Me do things#but it’s 5am and im too tired to think of a better way to say it#poss.speaks#discussion#avpd#actually avpd#actually avoidant#avoidant pd#avoidant personality disorder#cluster c#schizospec#schizophrenia spectrum#schizo spectrum#schizotaxic
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rafayel domestic fic idea, but he's trying to get used to the reality where he's not alone anymore, and it's HARD. he spent so many years in empty houses and apartments, never feeling quite like home, haunted by the ghosts of you he had and didn't manage to keep
it's the small things that startle him the most. rafayel returns from a week-long business trip and there's no spoiled food in the fridge and you watered his plants. the jacket he dropped somewhere on the floor in his haste to get to the airport on time is now hanging from the back of a chair. you were there at some point and now you are not, but he can call you and look at you and hear your voice, because you are real and he has you again. sometimes he feels like this simple truth is too much to take in, completely overwhelmed by it
#love and deepspace#lads rafayel#rafayel x reader#the voices the fucking VOICES in my head#i have work tomorrow#do you think rafayel is being super weird about noticing your presence in his space too#checking his apartment from top to bottom to find every thing you touched#getting a little choked up about it#it's not a regular occurrence but when he's in a specific Mood#hes so soggy
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can y'all please come into my humble abode and imagine something with me i don't yet have the wits to write a full fledged fic out of (yet)?
so, everyone knows how when you get a tattoo, part of the healing process is the itchy phase, right? and for obvious reasons, you can't scratch it. favored method, in my experience and fellow tatted friends, is to just give it a good old slap.
perfect. so now, with this in mind, can you imagine having gotten a large hip/ass piece, and how mortifying it would be to smack your own ass to soothe that itch? and it's just plain painful. you want your new ink to heal properly - it's gorgeous and you put a lot of time, pain, and money into that damn thing - but it just sucks.
enter best friend eddie.
he loves your new ink. thinks it's fucking sick. nearly creamed his damn pants when he found out you were doing a hip/ass tatt (because how can he ask to see it without being weird? how can he react to that without being weird when he's spent the last several years with the world's most pathetic crush on you?) at first, it's fine. you show him the tattoo in a totally friendly, totally platonic way. he hypes you up, he calls you 'the most metal person he knows'. flourishes you with all the compliments and looks at you with starry eyes out of sheer awe at the way he's managed to snag a person into his life who is just so. damn. cool.
but the days pass by, that new ink begins to heal, and it fucking itches.
when you first proposition him, you're even more embarrassed than he is. stumbling over all your words, the request coming out contorted every wrong way. you don't want to make things weird, but is it really that weird for a friend to help a friend? it is really that weird to ask your best friend to smack your tattoo to help with that itch you can't even really properly reach?
it's just friends helping friends.
and that's the mantra you both repeat to yourselves - as you request the embarrassing favor of him, as he agrees almost too eagerly, as you find yourself face-planted in your bed wondering how deeply you can bury down your shame as he tries to make jokes to make it all a bit less awkward.
it's just friends helping friends, until eddie's hand lands down on your ass with a resounding smack, and that first little whimper escapes your lips.
#:pedrosmile:#i'm thinking big today#this is a weird and niche scenario that isn't entirely realistic but#it's my mind palace and i'll play with my ken doll as i please#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#stranger things#just sit and play in this little sandcastle with me for a little while why don't y'all#i think we all know where it goes from there#but imagining him all flustered as he does it#trying to cover that up with him making so many dumb jokes#and then THAT happens#and you both go dead silent#his internal panic because *fuck oh my god i just got hard and i just made it weird and oh no oh fuck*#and you just wishing the earth would swallow you fucking whole#something something he does it again wahoo#anyways my tattoo itches like a bitch rn but it's on my arm not my ass lmao
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The only way he can get her to listen
#bireena#bi han x sareena#sareena x bi han#bi han#sub zero#sareena#mortal kombat 1#the only canon thing I want about Sareena from mk11 is her love of ratty little white dogs#it just feels so weird that she would like those but I think it’s funny#bi han likes studying her weaknesses#not sure what for.. combat? entertainment? who knows#i certainly don’t wanna know what goes through that man’s brain#he’s insane#doodle#my art
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people act like being intentionally whimsical is inherently more annoying than being intentionally serious but why. suppose my temper is just naturally whimsical.
#idfk what 'unmasking' really is i think its a Lot Of Things but for ME#ive always been so loke obviously Developmentally Delayed in the sense that like.#my natural inclination is to behave in ways that people tend to read as very childlike. and#people either assume thats Disability or they assume its Affectation#generally. and often i suppress it. like#i go back and forth on this and i have done for years tbqh i distinctly remember being like 20#and thinking IF I FEEL THE URGE TO SKIP WHY SHOULD I NOT SKIP?#like if my natural inclination is. to move my body in ways that people are used to children moving their bodies#literally who cares?#SO WHAT IF IM HUMMING AND SINGING ALL THE TIME SO WHAT IF I DO A LITTLE TWIRL#or hop on and off things. or whatever! WHOMST CARES. FOR WHAT REASON DO I NEED PPL TO TAKE MW SERIOUSLY#AT THE GROCERY STORE?#anyway raise your hand if your Affect is Offputting to People.#the thing that ive realized getting older tho is like. often people also like this bc#they feel like it gives them permission to also behave in weird ways in public#and i like that its nice
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#Saw a man bite straight through a chicken bone on YouTube.#I was gripped. In awe.#A jaw strength rivaled only by - I thought to myself - Present Mic#can't even remember how I got onto the video but it's stuck with me ever since#he had a captivating positive vibe. I would enjoy a meal with him. The chicken looked a little underdone though#bnha#mha#shouta aizawa#hizashi yamada#present mic#bnha comic#not even technically a comic this bad boy is two slides#always thinking about the rooftop gang naming Sushi like 'whats everyones favourite food?'#and Yamada says 'fried chicken' like that would be the best name for a cat- actually. you know what. that is a pretty good name for a cat#Might call my next tarantula Fried Chicken. Who knows?#Edited the last panel to take out the speech bubble cause it looked like I was implying it was weird to eat bone marrow#But I meant the entire bone itself like the crunchy bit#But apparently they do that in some places so I thought that it might come across as a bit insensitive and I didnt wanna get cancelled.#eat bones if you want I would love to eat bones but I'm a coward#It's not really a thing in the UK I don't think. I've never seen anyone do it. I guess we just produce a lot of food waste.#so nobody was going to tell me you could eat bones? I just had to find out myself on Youtube?
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book!daniel is such a romantic freak that he heard the cries of pompeii, felt its suffering and could only think about people dying together. about some of them dying with their beloveds and how he wanted to embrace the same fate. he wanted to die and be together with armand forever. romance is not dead.
#devil's minion#tvc#qotd#book!dm#daniel being such a romantic in a weird way must be one of my favorite things#armand#daniel molloy#the queen of the damned#the vampire chronicles#iwtv#interview with the vampire#i think i'm so in love with the dm chapter bc yes it's a beautiful romantic chapter#but also bc i could write paragraphs and paragraphs abt every single little part of it#armandaniel#armaniel
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Is it weird if I'm a cis guy but I want top surgery scars
It's natural to see the sexiest thing possible on a dude and feel desire
#my posts#asks#anon#fun fact i actually have stretch marks under my pecs i think? they really look like top surgery scars weirdly enough#which is funny cuz. im the exact opposite of a trans dude but it is a weird neat little thing
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when ur platonic bro is just helping u stretch while u platonically yap about ur MAGNUM DO-- detective skills.
#it was just for some anatomy practice tbh cuz legs are weird to me but then I was like lol what if it's a shit little gif#day 3593845 of idk how to draw kon nicely#and cassie bart my dears my only concept of u is memes so far I still am so new and haven't gotten around to young justice BUT I WILL#art#digital art#sketch#fanart#timkon#young justice#tim drake#tim drake wayne#kon el#kon el kent#conner kent#superboy#red robin#anyway if u don't know - when u are a flexible person sometimes it rly does help to get a bestie to push u around a bit when warming up#it IS very homoerotic with the right friends and all business with other friends but I prefer the friends who can't be ffr about it#I think tim would ask everyone and kon is like me pick me pick me let me help u bro bro ur muscles are so tight bro aha#but what do I know I'm just a new fan whose only concept is gay people on the internet telling me how they feel about the DCU#and I am a very busy person who doesn't have time to read comics and watch shows at a leisurely pace :')#give me time everyone I am gonna get so locked in#as much as an adult with no free time can#animation#there was an alternate ending where tim's leg goes all the way stand-split but I was too afraid to attempt drawing that#robins need to be flexible so they can do their silly goober thing
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I've been thinking about this post by @oh-no-its-bird
Obito is perhaps the most well-adjusted fictional man to have ever existed, as it is widely known
#I actually want go paint it in grayscale but i'm doing a few things. i feel like i've been losing my mind this week#Obito Uchiha#Kakashi Hatake#tried to perfect Rin's creepy stare in the background... i think every time she's in bg of a shot she should look a little weird. a bit off#like she's just standing there and smiling but also she seems a bit creepy for no reason
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i think isafrin dynamic, especially postcanon, is so funny to me because (among other things) isabeau is the notorious Gets Scared When The Horrors Appear type of dude, but also happens to be madly into a guy who, for lack of better words, can be aptly described as The Horrors
#greching origins#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat siffrin#isat isabeau#isafrin#like yes yes siffrin thinks themselves a monster and struggles with seeing that he isnt and that theyre still human. or whatever..........#but can you consider the flip side of things? from a different pov?#siffrin (accidentally did something that scared everyone and now feels guilty): i am a monster.#isabeau (rapidly deciding to pokemon-evolve into a monsterfucker this very instant): uh huh.#or well. he might as well already be Like That if that one snack time dialogue in act 4 is anything to go by but yk yk#pairs exclusively nice with my beloved hc that post loops and bigfrin fight siffrin is. a little fucked up. physically#<-like theres just something weird about him at all times now. his eye changes to impossible shades sometimes. or sparks strangely in light#yknow. the good stuff#anyway that is all about those disaster gays thank you for coming to my ted talk-
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