#this is mostly me hating on the trans community that i grew up in

[arthur-dearest]

Oh Ok!!1! What if God made me perfect though ,

[zith-ipeth]

A dog came into the shop today, his name was Maximus

This is a post about transandrophobia and man hating platitudes

I’ve been sitting around the edge of this discourse because I have stakes and traumas in it, but idk, fuck it, it shouldn’t be discourse.

I see a lot of comparisons between humanity and our canine cousins, it helps me understand modern politics and social issues. This post might not make sense, if I say things that are harmful, I do not mean it. And please for the love of all that is holy correct me, public or private, I’m learning, and making mistakes

—————————

When I was younger, a member of my aunts family, a large mutt named Hunter, jumped on me in a playful gesture, he was about as big as I was at 9 years old, and all muscle. He knocked me over and left a massive claw mark on my stomach. He was a fantastic dog, excitable, very cuddly, loved to play with his siblings. This isn’t to say he was perfect, no one is, he got aggressive, and has barked and bit people before

This can happen with rescues, turns out abuse can often create animals that cuase harm because that’s what they know

No one is one dimensional

In middle school, I was sexually assaulted, emotionally abused and manipulated by a trans boy my age, we were both young, far too young. I can’t say he was nice man, when we grew up he refused to acknowledged any of the harm he had caused, and caused further harm as he got older. But at the time, I knew that what happened wasn’t a cold calculated process, he was too young to have learned this from anything other than abuse that happened onto him

This can happen with trans folks, turns out abuse can often create people that cause harm because that’s what they know

But no one is one dimensional…

———————

Tumblr has been having this whole moment with transandrophobia/transmisandry, it’s, a lot. And for some reason I thought as all this was happening, that my beliefs about it would be kinda, one sided.

Cis men are violent and “bad” due to masculinity: I’ve seen this a thousand times, first and second hand, I’ve felt it, in the shaking hand of a girl sobbing and I’ve felt it as bruises on my abdomen, left by boys older than me.

Trans men are violent and “bad” due to masculinity: I’ve felt this, I’ve been hurt by this, in a way that broke me down in a way nothing else has

But I still felt, off, about it

Mostly because like, yeah, masculinity can be bad and scary, this is true. But it’s not one dimensional like that, masculinity can be amazing too, masculine cis men have saved my ass from being bullied in school more times than I can count.

No one is one dimensional

Also, misandry, even separate from transness, IS REAL, I was a guy for a long time, I felt it. My friend, who was cis, felt it, and still feels it. They have trouble making friends in college because people view them as a threat, due to their masculinity, that’s a real problem

And that problem is multiplied by the intersection of transness

And like yeah, it’s not as societally pervasive as misogyny, but even if it’s small, it’s still there, and still hurts people

I have every excuse to perceive trans men as violent and evil, and yeah, sometimes men, and often trans men, get scary to me, cuase it clicks a response in my brain. But I’m also an adult, and know that I share community with my cis and trans masc allies.

And somthing interesting about the boy who assaulted me, is how fast people were to take away his transness, my friends started using his old names, using dehumanizing pronouns he didn’t use, saying that it was “man behavior”. He’s a trans man, he was a bad person, those arnt connected, and one shouldn’t effect the other, being perceived as the gender you are isn’t a “reward” for good behavior. he was an asshole, and a liar, but he was man.

I get how one can be scared when someone is part of a group when someone in that identity group hurt you, but learning to love those people is incredibly fulfilling, and is something you must do as a trans ally

The relationships with men, trans and cis, I’ve had have been some of the most fun, flirtatious and physically/mentally stimulating relationships I’ve ever had

——————

Today at the pet supply shop I work at, a dog named Maximus came in

Massive, maybe 115 pound mastiff, clipped ears, docked tail, golden chain collar. His person was a built man, shaved head, full beard.

They came in for a self serve bath, and when they left, Maximus was wagging the nub of his tail, tapping his paws and whining, smelling all the amazing smells in the store. I got down to his level to pet him, and he jumped on me, playfully. His size made the visual of him jumping on me a little scary, but the kisses made it a lot better

No one is one dimensional

—————

Trans men face unique transphobia, if that bothers you, fuck off. If you want to demonize a trans man for shit they didn’t even do, for shit that other men have done, fuck off.

Judge people for who they are, not for who they might be, I don’t give a shit how scary a man looks, try and understand them regardless

I love dogs, and sometimes they’re scary, but that’s something I need to work through

I love men, and sometimes they’re scary, but that’s somthing I need to work through.

Run fast, bite hard, bark loud

Peace love and gratitude

-Zith Ipeth

[greenteadumplings]

You can't talk about queer and trans rights and Harry Potter marauders on the same day. If u like harry potter you are actively a terf. Read some other books for god's sake

I was genuinely not gonna respond to this but the thought that this might be one of my mutuals made me think I need to give an explanation.

First of all, everything I have been reblogging or posting related to marauders is fanon and fanfiction. Numerous fanfictions scattered around AO3 where the characters are painfully gay. And in numerous fics Regulus is often portrayed as Trans and if it's not one of the biggest fuck you to JK Rowling's disgusting trans and ace views I don't know what is. And if I really am a terf as you are claiming me to be, I don't think a terf will be reading about trans joy.

Secondly, I didn't buy new books or merch from which the author will be benefited from. All I have been doing is engaging in fan culture is mostly through fanfics and fan art. I never stop anyone from reading the og harry potter books too, because I don't think literature of any kind should be restricted to anyone curious. What I do is encourage them to thrift or download from non profitable websites so jk Rowling won't get her royalties. And marauders is something which explores identity and community property and I love how the fandom provides a safe space for it. Marauders is something you tried to take a dig on is truly hilarious.

Finally, I am someone who grew up with harry potter. Harry potter series is the reason I'm alive today. I respect and love those books. I can still like the work, engage in fan culture and hate the author while making sure she won't be getting all those benefits from me. Her opinions disgust me but harry potter is not just nostalgia for me but I still genuinely like it, flaws and all. I'm aware it's not perfect and it has its moments but I still love it. And I'm not ashamed of it. I'm not letting her ruin the joy harry potter brings me. As cringe as it sounds I'm someone who still thinks Hogwarts is my home and I'm not gonna let her ruin it for me. Marauders is something which helps me rediscover it. If it's not something u would enjoy i understand it but it's really unfair of you to draw those conclusions on someone.

I'm someone who actively fights for lgbtqia rights and T is not silent in that.

[velvetvexations]

"Trans women are women" used to be seen as this radical stance, a stance against the exceedingly popular standrd cis belief of "trans women are men" Now we're expected to believe that whole push was a lie? That "trans women are spicy women" is a belief that transmisogynists have? Transmisogynists?? The ones adamant about misgendering trans women as men? That's been their whole thing in fact...? They believe trans women are women and hate THAT?

They're just lying because it's fun to be mean to women. Such is the true beliefs of TRFs.

I wish I could submit a Patrick's wallet meme to you on anon because I swear every trf argument I see about how trans people are TOTALLY seen as our actual genders by cishet society really does feel like: "Terfs keeps creaming about how much they despise men and manly features, going so far as calling features usually belonging to people AMAB disgusting in great detail be they on women or men, correct?" "Yep." "And they talk in depth about how testosterone is poison and will turn you into a monster, correct?" "Uh-huh." "They speak regularly of how even male infants are evil, and cisgender lesbian separatism is the only way for women to be safe, you've noticed?" "They sure do." "And it's not just terfs either - plenty of transphobic talking heads otherwise all over the political spectrum conceptualize trans people as people 'pretending' to be the 'opposite' gender, as I'm sure you've seen?" "Yeah, I'm real sick of it." "So you understand, then, that much of the idea that trans women are an immediate physical threat to 'real' women and to straight men - the driver of arguably the majority of transmisogynistic violence - is based in misgendering?" "STOP CALLING TRANS WOMEN MEN AND STOP TRYING TO PRETEND MEN ARE OPPRESSED!!!1!!1!1 THEY'RE LYING ABOUT THEIR BELIEFS OR ELSE THEY WOULDN'T HAVE TREATED ME LIKE A FAGGOT BEFORE I CAME OUT, WHICH IS A FATE THAT HAS NEVER BEFALLEN A SINGLE MAN EVER!!!11!11!" ...come to think of it, do you think that last line is part of why so damned many of them are so determined to "crack the egg" of every GNC man or nonbinary person AMAB that they see? To prove that this kind of hatred is ONLY aimed at trans women and that proves their ~essential soul gender~ is real? Because honestly, fucking weak and pathetic.

kinna but that's mostly because they are just genuinely toxic whenever they see a man who could be a woman instead e.g. every crossdressing subculture

it's incredible that 'transphobes don't see trans women as women and they don't see trans men as men' is a controversial take now. what in the fuck is going on

unhealthy validation addiction

fellas, is it transphobic to acknowledge that transphobes are transphobic?

literally

The thing that bothers me the most about trfs is just how online they are, and I don't mean that to say they're harmless - I mean the opposite. I grew up in a VERY isolated neighborhood. I knew all of 2 other queer people in town. There certainly weren't hangouts for us. The nearest largeish city was a 3-hour, $100 round trip away - and that was also the closest other city-town-thing, at all. Going outside to meet queer community was NOT an option for me. What did I have? Why, I had the internet! As an adult I ended up moving to a relatively-nearby city. I also ended up being pretty badly disabled. Now I have access to outside queer gathering places...sort of. When I have the energy to go. Which isn't that often, and sometimes my choices of where to go are further limited because a lot of these things are in historical buildings with ADA exemptions so I can't actually get in the door in my wheelchair; I have to save those ones for the best of days. But the internet is still there for me! And no, offline queer spaces aren't utopian, you can still meet some REAL pieces of work there, the internet didn't INVENT exclusionist discourse - my (later admitted heterosexual!) mother had a whole stint as a political lesbian before the internet existed, so I know that from far too intimate experience - but the behavior there does usually seem to be tempered by 1) seeing as obviously as possible that the person you're talking to is a human being, not a disembodied source of words from the ether or a chatbot or whatever, and 2) being way more likely to get caught and thrown out and have the proprietor side against you if you start a fight. So who does this vile bigoted shit disguised as liberatory feminism affect the most? People who don't HAVE anywhere else to go, regularly or at all. Thanks, I fucking hate it.

Yeah. I'm completely alone out here and it sucks. People who don't have community need it the most.

tw for discussion of misogynistic hate crimes and things of that nature that happens in countries outside the global west it is SO glaringly obvious that the people in this stupid trans discourse are largely privileged and from western countries because they don’t think at ALL about people from other countries the trans woman in the middle east who can leave the country due to being AMAB is, in fact, more privileged than the trans man who can’t leave at all because he was AFAB and needs a man’s permission the trans women who aren’t being sold off as child brides ARE more privileged than the trans men who are forced to marry at age 12 and have children right off the bat like it is not that fucking cut and dry. there are more methods of oppression than transmisogyny and western problems. having privilege is far more complicated than that. and to be honest, i don’t think being ‘tme’ is much of a privilege when you’re the person AFAB who’s been murdered in an honour killing

Yeah, there's always complexity but people are obsessed with a black and white view where there's universally one good group and one bad group. It's why tankies exist. Cannot fathom that the West is bad and also maybe North Korea at the same time.

That - lady's entire blog is just her shitting on the "wrong" type of transgender person. Once again, people in our community are spending all their time infighting an attacking each other as opposed to actually fighting oppression. It's sad.

as ever

The fact that it’s now a cancellable offense to acknowledge that transphobes don’t see us as our actual gender(s) is so ridiculous I don’t even know what to say. I'm so sorry you consistently have people taking you in bad faith. This is one of the worst cases of wilful ignorance I’ve seen in a while. Seriously, I’m just dumbfounded. How the fuck did it get this bad?

this was sent right after I answered the anon mentioning a 'schism' so I'm assuming that's what it's in reference to specifically and dadgum it's more frustrating when it's people who should know better and have taken swings like this at me out of nowhere before

at least I know TRFs are going to TRF but it's exhausting having to deal with "so you're misgendering trans women??? the transandrophobia tag has officially become what it was always said to be!" from people in the same orbit, like disagree with me but can people please disagree with what I actually said before getting people apparently disavowing everyone involved in that thread?

and people have it rough sometimes and go through rough things and I feel for them going through rough things but that's not related to me so I'd appreciate not being swept into whatever other break is happening with other people who, again, aren't me

ppl be saying “to tmes it’s all genderfuck man in dress, until she asks you to respect her pronouns” like! i hate to break it to you but man in a dress isnt automatically a trans woman!!! that’s on you (general) for thinking that!!

they really fucking hate crossdressing men lmao and in fairness queer cis men have a lot of issues with misogyny but their identities are not mockeries of transfemininity and I need people to stop acting like it

ugh i hate that there are constantly posts in the transandrophobia tag that are like "well even though trans women are obviously more opressed and are totally right for hating us for our gender, could we maybe please have a word?? please we PROMISE we know we're evil for our male/afab privilege but just let us discuss our lesser issues a little bit" like omfg they're never gonna pick you

All of those people have me blocked lol.

[eldritch-collective]

[image id: a looping gif of Rain World Gourmand performing a power jump by throwing a spear and rock to get from the right ledge to the left ledge, almost backflipping in the process. end of id.]

Hello there! I wanted to make an anonymous MOGAI and LIOM blog to post stuff whenever I want to and maybe take some requests if I like it a lot!

My pseudo name is Service! If you'd like my pronouns, I use He/They/It/Angel and many other pronouns in general! I am physically and mentally disabled, neurodivergent, and plural. My spoons fluctuate due to being a systemmate within a very active system.

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[grymoria]

Growing up Transmasculine

Growing up, I was into things that were considered both for girls & boys and I continued to be into them until I became a teenager. When I was a teenager, I was no longer into things that were considered feminine. No dresses, skirts, heels, makeup, or jewelry, I even didn't like the idea of having long hair anymore. I wasn't into media or entertainment or that was considered feminine but my love of things that were considered masculine continued and it grew.

When I was in school, I got along with my male peers and I mostly had a good time hanging out with them. One day during middle school, I admitted to my male classmates that I was one of them during our last days of the school year. I didn't bother to hang out with the girls that often because I always had some sort of conflict with them.

 But the day that made me realize that I truly was transmasculine without even knowing it was the evening of my aunt's party. My mom was hanging out with my cousins/ her nieces. When she burped, one of my cousins responded by saying "Ew, auntie, be a lady." My mom laughed and said, "I may not be a lady, but I am a woman." Hearing her say that gave me the ick for some reason because I didn't want to be called either. This reminds me of another time of a female classmate of mine in middle school would usually say what ladies should do and that gave me the ick. I thought to myself that if those are the things that I have to do to be considered a lady then I don't want to be a lady.

Throughout that time growing up, I didn't think about my gender identity at all. All I knew was that I didn't like typical feminine things and I didn't like being called a lady or a woman but I didn't know what else to call myself so I just rolled with it. Around the ages of 18-20, I had a moment during a streamer's community on Twitch when people, mostly guys, thought that I was a guy because of my behavior and surprisingly I didn't take any offense to it. I was dressing up the way I wanted to look and I also had my first gender-affirming haircut.

It wasn't until a couple of years ago that I learned about the term Transmasculine. When I read the definition of what it is, I realized that is what I am and that is what I've been the whole time. I have officially considered myself a Transmasculine Nonbinary person for almost 3 years and I am still on the verge of trying to transition.

 The whole point of my story as a Transmasculine person is that Trans people have been getting a lot of hate for being Trans and the main ones that are getting that hate are Trans women / Transfeminine people. I would like to show that Trans men / Transmasculine people exist and I'm not doing this as a trend or for attention either. I already knew for years that I was Transmasculine but I didn't know there was a term for it until a couple of years ago.

[fierceawakening]

2/? It seems like most of the female people I know these days are nonbinary; if engaging with them the way they prefer stopped taking mental effort to walk on eggshells that would be better for everyone. As it is, I just... I feel like I'm staring at the naked Emperor, and if I breathe one word of his nakedness in the wrong situation I'll get excommunicated from the "queer" community. And when I do manage to find someone to talk to in private, they either agree that yes [CONT'D]

That's fair! It took me a long time to figure out what I thought nonbinary was, and longer than that to consider whether applying it to me made sense. I can tell you what this process is/was like for me, if it's helpful.

I knew since I was very young that I was Different from Other Girls. I had a similar body (albeit a disabled one), and my understanding was that people with that body are called "girls" and referred to with "she," so I never really went through a period of thinking these didn't apply to me.

I also did not go through thinking I was a boy.

What I did go through? Was wondering a lot of the time if I "should've been" or "was supposed to be" a boy.

I tried to talk myself out of these feelings, as adults of both genders I knew about kept telling me "girls can do anything."

But the one thing they DIDN'T seem to consider a part of "anything" was "have penetrative sex as the top," and they certainly didn't explain to me that there are ways "Female" "shes" can do this, or that some people like it.

So I resigned myself to the idea that I was a girl, that there's no "should have been" it made any sense to feel, and that it just meant that where most people grew up to want to have sex, I would grow up to NOT want to have sex, because I'd always have to do it wrong.

That, or I would reach this "puberty" thing people kept talking about, and everything I was wondering about would magically invert and I'd become Correct and stop asking myself this stuff.

Now it could have been I was just a butch lesbian, but again... I didn't have context for what that was! I knew, vaguely, that some girls date girls and some boys date boys and it's less common but valid, and I did kind of wonder if that would make it better, and told a few people I thought I'd be a lesbian, as it was the only thing I could make parse at all.

When it became clear in my adolescence that I crushed hard on girls but ALSO (a bit less intensely but it was definitely there too) on boys, this was a bit of a scary revelation. And do what with them? How? I wanted SOMETHING, but I couldn't tell what that was unless, again, I imagined myself in a male body, whether topping a female or a male or some imaginary combination. (Yes, please.)

I knew "FTM transsexuals" existed, but I didn't know that I was one of those. I talked to them, and made friends with many, and am still glad to be friends with many (hi guys, love you!) but... they seemed to really like not just the idea of their bodies becoming less alien to them, but the idea of BEING BOYS. Which seemed to me like, okay, I'd have the right body for sex and that would be lovely, but then the rest of the time I'd have a body that wasn't at all like a girl, when "girl" was what I was... mostly... except for this... THING.... oh god I'm so weird, I'm just a freak.

Fast forward to college. I took a gender studies course, trying to figure out what the fuck was up with me (and made the disastrous assumption "gender therapy" meant you tell a mental health professional that you suspect you might be trans, and they gently and without judgment talked you through what your life might be like if you transitioned vs if you didn't, and helped you to come to an authentic decision and then supported you in it. All I got was "do you hate your period? No? Then you're cis. Bye.")

A really fucked up thing happened. I now think of it as, well, really fucked up. But there was a section in our textbook talking about sex differences and what they were, and why they're not the same thing as gender differences, and in it was a photo of the naked body of a person with CAH--a masculinized female body, including bottom growth.

I now feel very weird I ever saw that, and apologize profusely to whoever that was that someone took photos of her(?) body.

But I had a lightbulb moment. My mind went, "if that was my body, I wouldn't feel weird any more."

Which led me to: okay, I DO have sex dysphoria. I wasn't making that up or parroting words I'd heard trans guys say or something. But I didn't have it quite in the way that they had it. I had it in a way that felt like "I belong somewhere in the middle. I'd be happiest like that, but am afraid I'd be bashed if I was like that and openly so."

Why do I have this feeling? I do not know. I just know that when I pretend it isn't there because it's weird and silly, it doesn't go away. I just feel like the same person I was a moment ago, just now I'm weird and silly.

Some butches seem to describe similar feelings. I lurked in those communities a lot and still do sometimes. But I wasn't a lesbian, I was bisexual. People seemed to be very weird about caring a lot about that bit, so I didn't dare delurk.

But it did seem to me that the gay community was actually *much* more about people who felt weird in their bodies or gender role than "gay people just like people with the same body" described.

Now do I know for sure testosterone would help? No, as I haven't tried it--but I do know that the feeling I am calling dysphoria intensifies horribly if I take any birth control pill stronger than the weakest on the market, which seems to confirm to me that there's a level of estrogen that feels wrong, and leads me to want to find out if a higher level of testosterone would feel "right."

(If it didn't? I'd toss it.)

What frightened me all my life was that people never seemed to talk much about in-between feelings. if you confessed to them you were proving you were cis. and if they were sexual? Hoo boy, you're just messed up.

Now people talk about feeling like being in the middle much more openly, and they call that non-binary. So... why not use that word? Especially when there isn't this weird "did you ever enjoy sexual contact with someone who was male? Or were you going through fundamentally unpleasant motions in every way all the time?"

Which I can't answer as "because I felt uncomfortable in my body and role, it was all completely awful." I did feel off and weird, but I didn't completely lack enjoyment, and I certainly enjoyed seeing my partner's pleasure and knowing that being with me caused that.

So there you go.

[snarltoothed]

Its pathetic how you're trans exclusionary and also bisexual & agender. Do you think that if transphobia continues they're not coming for you next? You think you're safe from being called a freak or a pedophile or from being accused of invading other people's spaces? From legislation and the dominant social paradigm othering you and making your life hell? You think throwing others under the bus will save you? You're a fucking coward and I hope you get a sense of reality.

i totally forgot that you even sent this ask because guilt-tripping from random strangers really doesn’t faze me — sorry!

anyways, umm, it’s pathetic how you’re sending random feminists hate mail over something that is literally not even true! i fully include trans and nonbinary people within my feminism — just not transwomen and nonbinary males because i believe female people of any gender still face challenges, discrimination, and oppression directly related to the sex we were born as!

…which wait, before you tell me intersex people exist, i know that! but intersex disorders are medically sex-specific and binary, and in the extremely rare case that a chromosomal male was born and grew up with entirely female external genitalia (usually as a result of Sweyer syndrome), i’m fully open to nuance when it comes to their inclusion within the radical feminist movement, especially given that the trans/qu**r movement has repeatedly ignored the requests of both individual intersex people and intersex organizations to stop equating the trans and intersex experience. it’s not like they can turn to you guys for any actual understanding or compassion.

in my LGB advocacy, trans people are also not excluded based on their gender identity! the only people excluded from my LGB advocacy are heterosexuals — which yes, i’m sorry, i do live in the real world where sexuality is based on actual physical sex, so yeah… “transbians” and “gay transmascs” are generally excluded (those open to or exclusively T4T aside) on the basis that they do not experience same sex attraction. but if you’re not straight, congratulations! my LGB advocacy is also for you.

the “agender woman” in my bio is also mostly a joke, “agender” more as in “atheist” — i do not subscribe to the belief system of gender. although, if i did, that’s probably still how i would describe myself because even if i thought that innate gender identity was a thing for other people, i don’t have one. i don’t identify with femininity. i do identify with my lived experience of being female. idk how else i would explain that in your community without being scalped, lol. and it’s poking a little bit of fun at my teenage self for actually genuinely telling the more micro-label oriented of my peers that the best i could describe myself was as a “demibisexual agender girl”.

if anything, though, the people standing in my way of being freely truly agender and living as a woman are BOTH conservatives and the trans/qu**r movement, because i really don’t want to have to have an ideological argument with either of you about what the fuck my leg hair means, i don’t want to be assigned a non-woman for having body hair and not being extremely feminine by EITHER of you! you are both supporting a dominant social paradigm which others me and women like me, it’s only the way in which you shame me and make me feel like a freak that differs.

i’m fully aware how the American political parties have lumped very separate issues into the same bills and are practicing other nefarious political schemes to remove womens’, childrens’, and LBG peoples’ rights by using the decrease in public support of the trans/qu**r movement to pass bills and laws that otherwise wouldn’t be passed… because y’all keep supporting fucking pedophiles? maybe stop doing that or if you personally aren’t, tell your buddies that trans people can be horrific criminals, just like any other subset of people, because all individuals are different, and murderers and rapists and pedophiles don’t deserve public support even if they’re trans. the fact that the most vocal of the trans community keep defending and supporting convincted pedophiles, rapists, and other dangerous violent criminals simply on the basis that they are trans is a large part of WHY many of us “cis” LGB people are publicly separating ourselves from the TQ+, we know how bad that shit looks and have historically condemned the members of our own communities who have been revealed to be pedophiles and rapists. not to mention the fact that the heterosexual TQs are like, wildly homophobic.

pretending outright that trans people cannot be violent criminals is something that can and rightfully should be criticized — i would criticize the assertion that any protected minority class status makes a person immune to any sort of violent criminology, or otherwise not deserving of facing consequences for committing violent crime, especially sexual violence against children, including the minority classes i belong to. i’m certainly not against trans people recieving proper legal defense, and i believe trans people deserve the same presumption of innocence as anyone else until proven guilty in a court of law… and while i do not believe males belong in female prisons (as inmates OR staff, tbh), i do believe that prisons in general are in desperate need of reform and that that reform should be considerate of the needs of vulnerable male populations such as transwomen and gay men for safety from other men while also maintaining female-only prisons.

i don’t know what you expect me, a poor & disabled woman living in a northern democrat-controlled state, to do about the shady shit happening in Florida and elsewhere in the American south. i’m not even in a position to vote on anything that could be considered “throwing other people under the bus”. the biggest things i’ve voted for were keeping the state democratic, legalizing weed, and protecting the right to abortion. i’m sooo politically evil and throwing so many people under the bus and totally perpetuating a genocide… which i guess if you’re a conservative you could say about the fetuses, but, since you’re barking up my tree for siding with conservatives, i’m hoping that you’re at least fucking pro-choice.

I’m not trying to be mean here, but you kinda came up in my inbox being mean first… so frankly I think you’re the coward for not thinking independently and for needing to harass women who do, and I hope YOU gain some sense of reality, as well as empathy and nuance.

[hellobadomens]

Rant time babes

Contains: discussions about communication that are heavily biased by the author being autistic, plus added discussion about gender effects and identity

My friends have seen me beat this horse into the ground many times, but I haaaaaate all the stigma around clear communication. I'm grateful to have people in my life who are good at talking about things, but even "open book" people like me can and do still have bad experiences because of how that stigma is internalised.

For example, I'm autistic (personally prefer not to use person-first language for it) and have basically been forced to learn how to play Subtext Tango in most areas of life; apparently asking questions is actually an attempt to undermine someone, and saying what you mean is never actually what you really mean.

So then, if I have a conversation with someone who I already know is chill with how I communicate unmasked (which is guaranteed if it's a serious convo or something I'm anxious about), I have to constantly reassure myself that they have also been open with me and that I can ask clarifying questions if needed. Despite the fact that every time a similar thing has happened between us, it's been fine!

Even posting this, I'm worried people will take it as vagueposting because I've recently had conversations that reminded me of this part of my gripe here, but that's the thing; it's not exclusive to my recent history, it happens every time I have to be genuinely vulnerable, and the only thing at fault for that is the idea that people shouldn't communicate properly.

THEN of course, it's different for interactions between people of different genders. I think my autism and gender are intrinsically linked because I don't think any gender effects should happen, they only really hurt people.

Growing up being seen as, and thinking I was, a girl, I grew to mostly hate the whole subtext issue above. I won't get into that as much, but subtext and pretending to like people you don't is something that just generally annoys me.

However, I'm more passionate about this discussion when it comes to men. Don't get me wrong, this isn't an argument that men or women have it worse than the other, both issues are equally important. That being said, I only see this being brought up in research, or in bad faith during discussions about an issue specific to women. Take this as an opportunity to genuinely discuss men's mental health as its own issue that deserves to be independently addressed.

The one research thing I'll mention is that there genuinely is a "male loneliness epidemic" supported by a decent body of work, and it's mostly due to gender norms and how they impact the ability to let yourself be vulnerable.

There's two major impacts:

1. The guys who fit perfectly the stereotypes of masculinity tend to bond with each other by putting down people who are different. But not in an emotionally fulfilling way either. This is something I definitely need to look into more as I haven't had many (any) straight, white, cisgender, neurotypical, stereotypically masculine in every possible way, male friends in my life to have discussed this with.

2. On top of the common, but thankfully diminishing, occurrences of are men who DON'T fit that stereotype being targeted, they have to fight against the conditioning that they aren't supposed to be vulnerable. I count myself among this, but acknowledge it's different for me because of being AFAB and nonbinary/trans masc/throw-my - gender-in-the-trash. This only really shows up in my personal experiences when interacting with cishet allistic guys tbh, but none of the guy friends I have fit all of that so discussions have occurred.

So among those guys, it's difficult to gauge whether any given level of vulnerability is OK or not, especially talking to other men.

You'd think maybe you could work around that by talking to women, but wait! Assuming you're a decent person, you now have to deal with the phase where the woman is on guard (in case you're like the many horrible men who ARE out there, who haven't yet worked out how to use cognitive empathy to supplement their obvious lack of affective empathy, which is not an inherent flaw to not have but it's still something you should work on/around) and now you're overthinking about whether or not you're actions are OK.

There's definitely further nuance if, for whatever reason, your identity rather than your interests is what makes you an outlier. It's hard enough to work out how to talk to men if you happen to just not care about sports, but there's the added fear of rejection over an intrinsic (and often contextually unimportant) part of yourself.

Not to mention any discussions about intimacy that aren't objectifying people become very difficult in general, regardless of sexuality. I've had a close guy friend open up to me with questions about sex acts before and he was mostly concerned because he was struggling with the stigma that the act made him gay in some way, despite knowing it doesn't. Like if it's to a point where people can't learn about their own body because they're too afraid to ask anything, that's a big issue to me. And no, I'm not mentioning what the act was, or if it was even a solo thing vs with a woman vs with a man, because it doesn't matter, actions, feelings, and self-descriptors are not synonyms.

Anyway you shouldn't be scared to talk to people about difficult things. If they can't be mature, then you're better off without them. If you can't be mature, it's a sign the relationship (of any nature) wasn't meant to last and an opportunity to improve for your own sake. If people care about you, they make the effort to understand. Don't forget it.

Obligatory disclaimer: this is all my own opinion, based off either my own experiences or the experiences that people have discussed with me, but it's an educated opinion. I have no degree, yet, but I'm a third year psychology undergrad and have done some tertiary courses on sociology, some specific assessments about gender, and a lot of research in my own time about this. That being said, do your own research and make your conclusions based on what is empirically supported, do not let me bias you - I'm no expert, and any expertise I DO have isn't a guarantee that I'm correct either.

[rumpocky]

Oh that's sweet Noiz. Honestly from what I skimmed nothing about it surprised me. I'm a dark skinned(not black but I've had people assume I'm black and biracial) woman of color who's disabled and queer(? Still trying to figure it out but queer works) and grew up around liberal white families. So when Aaron talks about his experience I'm like oh I recognize those types of white women(now they're not always caucasian but they definitely are opting into white supremacy so....white). Also the connection's between transphobia and racism make it so that though I'm not trans I can here particular dog whistles/people for what they are. None of its surprising it's just exhausting.

Different paper new excerpt

"Structurally, bourgeois white women’s tears support what Sharpe (2016: 16) calls ‘reappearances of the slave ship’: ‘protecting (white) women’ fuels the necropolitics of criminal punishment and the border regimes of Fortress Europe, North America and other parts of the world. These tears enter a world in which marginalised people are disposable, whether they are Black people killed by police, migrants left to starve or drown (Sharpe 2016: 43–44, 54), or trans people and sex workers (many of them people of colour) disproportionately left to survive outside bourgeois families, communities and the law. The circuit between white women’s tears and white men’s rage means that because we cry, marginalised people can die. As some forms of reactionary feminism exploit this circuit in their engagements with the far right, their narratives of victimhood can themselves be understood as violence. The ship, then, stays afloat: captained by white men, but suspended in a pool of white women’s tears."

Oh and Aaron I learned a new word today "Limerence" and thought of Lemon Lady.

Still on hydrocodone and protein shakes but my face has mostly gone back to normal.

Garden anon

thank you. continue to educate me in the print of what we already know together, garden anon.

I have surrendered everything.

Teach me.

Remind me of Aaron in the nature, person and tone you did. Someone should. Cocaine bear refuses to.

I'm so far beyond the path of reason, loves. I could cry into it from how hard we laugh. I'm so sorry, but also, I am absolutely not.

Literally thank your dumbfuck selves.

For all the judgment and hate you bare upon retards you are compared to. For all of it. You are still fucking here. You insufferable cunts.

My wife and I have made a fine boil of your legs.

you can fight with me too. stop pretending like i hobbled both your proverbial legs just because I taught your dumbfuck selves to not fall in accessory ditches.

[crime-scene-psychic]

I've never thought of it this in depth before, but you're absolutely right. It's really hard cause I know a ton of queer people grew up with her books (myself included) and were obsessed and were able to see themselves in the characters, as yes, the books deal heavily with "diversity should be celebrated not shunned", which is exactly what we needed. The fact that it took a 180 at the expense of us is really hard to wrap one's mind around.

I have a fellow trans friend, who, yes absolutely hates JKR and isn't what I would call a Harry Potter fan by any means, but still bought Hogwarts Legacy, albeit, second hand, I believe. And while there's nothing inherently wrong with this strategy, as technically JKR isn't getting her money from us specifically, and they bought it mainly to support the creators, who are lgbtq+, it's still interesting to see how much of a grip this fandom has on people despite us knowing how God awful JKR is.

A second friend, on the other hand, is queer but not trans, and is still a pretty big HP fan. Has merch, bought Hogwarts Legacy when it was released, day one. When I would point out to her what JKR is saying about trans people, she would get a bit defensive, usually dodging any friendly debate and going more towards "separate the artist from the art" or "I don't like her, just HP."

I think it's also hard for non trans people, even queer cis people, to fully comprehend how harmful JKR is. They don't have the same experiences as trans individuals, therefore can't fully understand just how bad JKR is, even if they are, otherwise, great trans allies. They don't see how this is different from any other terrible person who made something people enjoy (which is why I have a particular problem with the entire "separate the art from the artist" mentality, but that, my dear Tumblrina, is an entirely different post for me to hijack).

It's very hard, and I never really realized this as I had mostly outgrown my HP phase from childhood, save for maybe mentioning my Hogwarts house if asked, but for people who were (and still are) invested in the fandom, it's very hard when all of a sudden the creator completely turns their back on you.

People dedicated a lot of time, effort, money, love, respect, and appreciation to this. And it may sound silly and childish to some, but to many this fandom was very important in discovering themselves, especially when it comes to the queer community. To be so outwardly attacked and betrayed is crushing. And to many, it's so much easier to try and bury your head in the sand and remove JKR from HP altogether. So yeah, I do agree that a lot of people:

A. Don't know JKR is actually as bad as she is

B. Think she's just another victim of cancel culture

C. Don't actually care enough to put the effort into educating themselves on the creators of their favorite fandoms

D. Try their best to ignore JKR and her influence, but don't realize entirely how problematic that still is (separate the art from the artist)

Or perhaps a mix of a few. It's an issue that seems as if it should be simple and straightforward, but has proven to be very difficult, much more so than I originally realized.

There are people who actually worshipped JKR and there are people who gushed about her because she wrote Harry Potter and they loved Harry Potter who literally knew nothing about her that wasn't in the author bio on the dust jacket. I think fandom oriented people tend to forget how big a population the latter was! But Harry Potter was so huge at its peak that it had a lot of casual fans who deeply, deeply loved the series, maybe even knew the trivia of the actual books inside and out, but never engaged with the fandom side of things or dove deep into meta information. There were normies attending midnight release parties, the series was that big.

[multishipper-baby]

A little late to the party, so it's totally fine if you don't want to read about them, but I have two OCs with designs... They're both Melon fankids lol.

First off Rowan, who already has an entire post with most of his backstory:

I did settle for not killing him in the end, because I love Louis too much to torture him so deeply... Although keeping his beloved demon child alive might be more torture in the long run lol. Some more Rowan facts I've been thinking about:

He has a girlfriend! Don't have a name for her yet, but she's a gazelle. She cheats on him but that's fine because he cheats on her as well! They're the messiest couple in all of highschool.

Doesn't have claws or fangs or a craving for meat- he's almost completely an herbivore. However, once he grows older, he does undergo a transformation like Melon did and gains a more muscular leopard body. He absolutely hates it.

Sometimes daydreams about being devoured by carnivores to reaffirm his identity as an herbivore and stick it up to all those who bullied him. Doesn't understand why others find it concerning that he fantasizes about being killed.

Also, sometimes daydreams about dying in a random accident like his grandfather so everyone will be sad that he died and they'll all be sorry for not appreciating him enough. Again, he doesn't understand why people find this concerning.

Now, let's turn our eyes to my wonderful Leonie:

Legomelon fankid! Of course, with Melon and Leano as a basis of what can happen to an hybrid that grows up in their society, Legoshi takes special attention to make sure she embraces her heritage and isn't ashamed of her unique qualities, sending her to the daycare for hybrids that Gosha volunteers at so she can be with others like her and not be othered.

So, because she's so entrenched in her community, when she starts elementary school and realizes just how few hybrids really exist, she's a little out of her deep. She's an extreme introvert, at least, so the ostracization doesn't hit as hard when she probably would've eaten her lunches alone anyway.

Still, because of her introverted nature, she ends up growing up interacting mostly with the adults in her family, so she's very mature in some ways but socially stunted in others and generally struggles to talk to her peers as equals. The plan was originally for her to go to Cherryton when she grew up, but between not knowing how the dorm situation would work for her (because she's both an hybrid and she's trans, so there was a lot of indecisiveness about what species to put her with or whether she'd be allowed to dorm with girls) and her asocial tendencies, she ended up going to a school much closer to home.

Legoshi and her visit Melon in jail regularly so she knows him pretty well. Their relationship is a little tenuous, because Melon is Melon and he has a lot of issues to deal with, but Leonie generally likes spending time with him. She gets her dark sense of humor from him.

Leonie fun facts:

Probably obvious, but named after Leano! I didn't think Legoshi would want to go with exactly the same name, because he wanted him and Melon to choose something (a name is the first sign of love every parent gives a child and all that), but the similarities between the names are intentional. Melon just liked it because it meant lion and he thought it was funny to name a kid after his gang.

On the topic of the Shishigumi: when they do get out of jail, they're terrified of her. They've dealt with Legoshi and Melon on their own- they have no intention of learning what an unholy mix of the two could do. She's vaguely amused by this, especially since she's really not much of a combatant (although she certainly can hold her own and has been trained to do so, for safety).

Because she lacks spots or any other leopard features, most just assume she's a half wolf half gazelle hybrid. However, she does have a fair amount of feline body language and mannerisms, so fellow felines tend to clock her as one of them if they spend enough time together.

Since she's only 1/8 komodo dragon, she doesn't really have any reptile traits left on her, but she's thankfully still close enough to Gosha in the family tree to be immune to his venom. They tested her in the hospital to make sure it was safe first though, and Gosha was extremely careful with her before knowing for sure.

If you have a beastars oc PLEASE reblog this and show them to me. Write a whole essay on them if you want I will read it. Come get chatty in my askbox if you don't post fandom on your account. I love ocs I love listening to people talk about them I am kissing every oc gently on the forehead

[rockosmidlife]

Oh man I didn’t even realize that.. I think the particular one I based oro and boro off was Parvati?? I could be wrong tho :p also your boyfriend is VERY correct, even from a screen I know your very protective and motherly :3 anyways yea I don’t know how much it is my place to talk considering I’m not Hindu but from all the shit I’ve seen on the internet I think some people consider being Hindu an aesthetic more than an actual religion… one time my sibling brother things ex told me she needed to buy crystals cuz her chakras were unaligned…. Even tho she was pagan. Nothing wrong with paganism ofc I just don’t really understand picking and choosing what aspects of a religion you want to incorporate and what aspects you don’t. This reminds me about how Britany, when she was still my “mom” had a little Buddha statue in the living room, it just kinda rubbed me the wrong way cuz she was Christian.

And like yea I grew up being Christian and I just have to say I don’t hate the religion itself but I hate the community. And yk what I used to be Christian so I think I have a place to MOTHAFUCKING RANT!!!

So obviously there’s the whole homophobia and transphobia thing. That stupid ass mistranslation has fucking ruined SO MUCH for just about everyone. IT WAS TALKING ABOUT PEDOPHELIA SORRY SOME HOMOPHOBE IN 1846 FUCKED IT UP OR WHATEVER!!!! And guess what?? A bunch of Christians are transphobic because “god made you a boy/girl”

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHIT UUPPPPPP SHUT UP!!!! By that logic it should be illegal to get glasses because well god gave you shit eyesight! But no you don’t see those people harassing glasses wearers it’s ONLY trans people cuz Fox News has been spreading some ABSOLOUTE BULLSHIT. And don’t get me wrong it’s fine to be Christian but the community it has created for itself is toxic AF. Sure there’s some cool people (like my non mold dad, I love him and he’s really cool and supportive and he reads the Bible sometimes) but it’s SO FUCKING HARD to ignore the massive blemish that is the retirement home of people who heard “treat others how you want to be treated” and their hearing aid made them think they heard “harass minors for wearing a pride pin”

And like the power dynamics ohh my god dude. I mean we’ve all heard about the whole pastor pedophile thing but mostly like. Idk this could be my personal experience but my gma would always abuse the Bible to excuse things. One time my gma and my sibling brother thing got into a fight about I forget what but my uncle went on some rant about “your grandma she’s family and bible verse bible verse about being nice” and that pussed me off so badly because. My grandma wasn’t being nice. So WHY dose she get a pass but nobody else does?? Is it cuz she’s older?? I sure hope not cuz that’s STUPID!!!!!!!!

Uhhggg sorry about the word salad rant. That’s not even half of it but I think I get my point across pretty good. I stopped being Christian years ago because A) it had a toxic ass community B) I personally had some things I didn’t agree with C) I don’t enjoy being told from the womb to believe in a certain god yknow??

I propose a family anthem

@voparwave69

[victoriadallonfan]

> Look, I originally approached it from a Watsonian perspective and then other people explained that the like for Tristan on here is mostly due to Doylist reasonings. I was good with that explanation and then you came and tried to argue more Watsonian perspectives which I still don't agree with (because honestly whether you like a character or not is usually up to personal preference) and those arguments feel like an incorrect judge of the people here.

I’m sorry, I didn’t see that change in perspective, only just when you reblogged at me. I assumed you were referring to a private chat.

That explains why I was confused.

I still disagree with you, but if you wish to stick to Doylist stuff, I will do my best

> Come on, Tristan is an evil, promiscuous gay guy who only cares about sex and alcohol and is oppressing his straight brother who has a hard time because people think his brother is better because he's gay. It's a sock puppet because that's just not a thing that happens, and its purpose is to make you dislike the gay person for being gay. Perhaps Wildbow isn't actively malicious, but if not, then he is very extremely unconsciously malicious and maybe shouldn't be writing web serials without any sort of preplanning to make sure his biases aren't coming through (presumably why Worm is good and Ward is just awful so far).

This is admittedly tough to respond to without going into Watsonian pov, so I hope you’ll forgive me if I lapse:

1.) Isn’t the problem with this that it’s taking everything Byron thinks at face value? We don’t actually know the specifics of Tristan’s relationship with their mutual friends and their parents (beyond that we see their parents treat them both with love and kindness). For all we know, this was Byron’s own resentment feeding into subconscious homophobia. He didn’t even acknowledge that he nearly killed Tristan or was torturing him with the pen stabbings.

2.) I would hesitate to claim that gay kids can’t be bullies (especially to siblings), and also that Tristan being gay is supposed to make him “evil” (not that I would call him or Byron evil). Reconciliation, Furcate, Legend, Foil, Parian, and Switch Hitter are all gay, trans, and bisexual, but they aren’t written to be “evil” because of that. Obviously that doesn’t make up for Amy or what flashback Tristan are as representation (among other characters), but I do think it pushes back against the tumblr narrative that WB wants to make readers hate gay people.

I think the simple answer is the least exciting: Wildbow is a cishet white guy who was leaning into ignorant stereotypes as an early 2000’s writer, and thus made mistakes with handling sexual and gender representation, even when he thought he was doing good by increasing the cast of characters that were LGBTQ+ post-Worm. Pale seems to be the case where he’s learned from his mistakes and is doing a fairly decent job at producing positive content.

I think it’s hard for online communities to accept that online individuals aren’t static figures. I’ve talked before about how I grew up in a religious ignorant household and it was through Worm that I actually was able to reach out and join a far more tolerant and knowledgeable community. I shudder to imagine the kind of person I could have become without having read Worm and talked (and befriended) people outside that range.

I think, on a far larger scale, that happened to Wildbow and sort of works with what he’s post about things post-Ward.

(I would also push back against Tristan “only caring about sex and alcohol”, but that is a Watsonian discussion I think)

> Victoria is your blorbo and it's rude to shit on her when you just want to have a good time with your blorbo, so l'll refrain from doing so.

Hahaha, you can dunk on her in a fun way! I don’t mind. Pericardium has sent me worse and it’s all good.

> Sorry you've had a bad time. But I haven't experienced it, although I recognize that doesn't mean you haven't. And I have yet to see a bad take on here after lurking for a month or two on wormblr (except perhaps from you, no offense, but you aren't a tumblr native so I don't think that counts), whereas it's bad take central over on Reddit. Perhaps it is just because I'm following a handful of people on here rather than the open forum they have over on Reddit. But the fact that you can curate your experience better on here is why it's a better ecosystem than Reddit imo.

Hey, don’t worry, I’m the first to admit to being a huge dumbass and asshole sometimes! I try to work on it and apologize if I offend people (it’s hard to stay angry at people for me, when I get anxiety from conflict, so that’s a bonus(?))

Tumblr native is a funny word, because I imagine there’s actually far fewer people who stick to only one site and one site only. Granted, I imagine a lot of my negative experiences here are due to the fact that I am - fortunately and unfortunately- unknown on SB and Reddit, so the backlash against me is more pronounced perhaps. But then again, that’s sort of damning of Tumblr users anyways, isn’t it?

I would also argue that just because a site makes it easier to hide stuff you don’t like in a fandom, doesn’t necessarily mean that sites fandom is “better”. If you go to buffet and only eat the fruit, that doesn’t mean the chicken and pastries don’t exist after all.

I know the common reaction on here is to hate Bryon and love Tristan. But I honestly just can't do it.

Like, I can see that Bryon is an asshole, and that Tristan is a homophobic strawman, but idk, I still just greatly dislike Tristan. Maybe it's because I'm an autistic, introverted ace who was bullied and had very few friends that I can't help but feel bad for Bryon. He's just so pathetic and wet (literally).

I feel bad that whenever Bryon managed to get a group of friends, Tristan would swoop in, ingratiate himself, and then turn them against Bryon. Like, that's just so fucking evil. Not deserving of death (jesus christ Bryon), but hey man wtf.

And I get it, Moonsong was a transphobic, homophobic cunt. But she was the one person who seemed to like Bryon more than Tristan (for unfortunate reasons), so I don't blame the teenager for convincing himself "I can fix her" when it's quite obvious he can't.

Tristan's whole, "If I can't have sex or drink myself into a coma what else is there to live for?" made me want to slap him. Like touch grass dude, pick up a book, get a hobby, stop being a shithead. And then he had the audacity to tell Bryon, "You were hurting yourself and I was afraid you'd go too far". Motherfucker, TELL SOMEONE! Who the actual fuck can see their sibling hurting themselves and then just not say anything to anyone?

I hate feeling like I have 'reddit brain' instead of y'alls clearly superior tumblr opinions. But I just can't understand Tristan apologizers (outside of acknowledging that it's super inappropriate to make the one gay guy the one who only cares about sex and drugs and doesn't care about consent - but that's not really being an "apologizer").