#this is mockery

[spiderbitesandvampirevenom]

"basic dni criteria apply" well as someone who isnt terminally online and curates my own internet experience rather than asking others to for me i have no idea what "basic" dni criteria are

[seagull9111]

there is something wrong here

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Knowledge Revenge.

[boomstab-papa]

I mean

As long as we are making up people & inventing new contexts

If this hypothetical cishet man says his girlfriend is "one of the guys" then yes, he does. By his own admission, taken literally. This is part of why context is important in linguistics.

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[ozzgin]

IM SORRY, but I need a whole smut fanfic with yandere ASMRtist where he just straight up fucks reader and posts it, and people like it

Even better if it was an accident! Although let me add a little disclaimer that this concept turned more BDSM-oriented than I initially planned, but it has no correlation whatsoever to ASMR. Just wanted to point it out because the community already struggles with the sexualization of content. The guy just happens to be kinky. Content: gender neutral reader, male yandere, NSFW, BDSM themes (bondage, spanking, collaring, name-calling)

He’s doing his usual sound recording, yet today it a little different. You're particularly cheeky, kneeling before him, back arched and bottom up. The pillow is soaked with your drool, lips forcefully parted by a bit gag. You're a mess.

Today, he's particularly aroused by your hooded eyes and damp skin. No harm in taking a break from his work, is there? His hand lands another rough spank, followed by his fingers tracing across your privacy. It seems he isn't the only one terribly pent up.

He gives you a little encouraging jolt before clarifying with a spoken order: "Spread."

You obediently follow his instructions, eager to be touched by more than his hand. He grins at your visible excitement.

"My, what a greedy whore you're being today. You're still red and swollen from the spanking, are you sure you want me to do even more damage?"

He presses himself into you as if to prove his point, though the feeling of his throbbing erection really only makes matters worse. You nod desperately and groan.

Once he's done pounding the life out of you, he stands up nonchalantly and dusts off his hands, gazing at his masterpiece: you're sprawled onto the mattress, heaving, dripping with his seed. Another fruitful day of pleasing his Darling.

He quickly finishes the last retouches of the recorded ASMR session and uploads it to his channel, distracted by the thought of a potential second round.

"Don't get up", he demands from his chair. "I'm not done with you yet." Judging by your expression, however, it's not likely you had any other intention to begin with.

Later in the evening, he idly checks his phone, somewhat surprised by the sudden influx of views and comments.

"Wow, this is probably your longest video so far. You're spoiling us", someone writes.

"What's the stuff at the end? Sounds bizarrely wet, yet tingly", someone else wonders.

His smile abruptly pales as it dawns of him: he never stopped recording. In a moment of anger, he throws his phone into the nearest wall, and you stumble over, startled by the commotion.

Damn it! That was his special moment. He feels like he'd just fucked you before the masses. His precious time - meant to be savored - has been tainted by the ears of plebeians.

He marches towards the bedroom, pulling you after him by the little house collar you must wear inside. No matter, he tells himself frantically, he'll just have to redo it. He'll fuck you even better this time, and it'll be for him only.

[Yandere!ASMRtist Concept] | [More yandere works]

[mistercrowbar]

Maybe it’s for the best that Gale doesn’t have any bard specific dialogue, even if it irks me SO MUCH that he describes magic as music but won’t acknowledge the guy who literally goes toot toot magic flute!!!

More comics!!!

[meanbossart]

I’m always envious of how comfy sleeping du drow looks so I tucked him in nice and tight (yes it’s a simpson’s redraw the coziest image I know haha)

SLEEPING LIKE A BABY... LIKE AN ANGEL... LIKE A MAN WHO DOESN'T RECALL THE ATROCITIES HE'S COMMITTED HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG EVER.

His cute little smile and plump cheeks will be the death of me, like I let out full-on screech of delight upon seeing this in my inbox. Thank you!!! 😭😭😭

[anne-is-confused]

Captain Francis Crozier, at Furthest North.

[mewdoodles]

26 - Crossover!

[tanglepelt]

Dc x dp idea 133

Danny is really confused. Like sure he made a fake account in order “use” his parents completely valid and not in biased research on ghosts.

Cause obviously. Their completely legit research disproves multiple peer reviewed and factual papers.

Tucker made the fake account. No real names or numbers. So. They couldn’t know it was him right?!??

He just wanted people to see how wack the papers were and bring to light the very not accurate papers. He figured using botched research to counter claim others would do something.

But??? Why was the flash in his living room arguing with his parents about scientific articles. And proper research??

[1nk-ling]

You know which episode this is set after, guys. D'you think Zeb ever kind of regretted coming back? Like, not seriously regretted, just wondered how much less annoyed he'd be on Lira San?

Also, space socks look exactly like earth socks?!? Yes. And Zeb is wearing a space Tshirt that looks exactly like an earth Tshirt. Stop questioning me.

[charlesoberonn]

Fox News Anchor Has Freudian Slip About Imagining A Kamala Harris Gangbang isn't something I thought would happen but in retrospect it was only a matter of time.

It's also a real Leopards Ate My Face moment for co-host Jeanine Pirro.

"I can't believe the misogynist network I work for would hire a misogynist!"

[reactionimagesdaily]

[stickynotelovers-art]

Do not mess with Mikey unless you desire to take massive critical damage from his brothers.

I don't know if anyone has noticed or not that I've been trying to do at least one comic for each of the brothers duo. I finally thought up a scenario for Donnie and Mikey.

Also, apologies but I'm going to start watermarking my works again. I hadn't been doing it for a while but, issues such as the terms and service update on Twitter I'm feeling it's necessary.

[peipwecallitpeep]

[turtleblogatlast]

Every single member of the Hamato family is equipped with the cantrip Vicious Mockery and 80% of its use is friendly fire.