#this is literally the story on every single possible level yelling this at us

[starboy-acer]

“no grave could hold my body down. i’ll crawl home to her” [Jay Ferin x You!]

(this is the angsty one of my albatrio x you btw. i know you jay ferin fans. i know what you are. story is below the cut)

(and to my irl... if you read any of this and send me any lines from this, i will block you /slightly silly)

you wake up on the deck of the albatross. you're cold, soaking wet, and in pain. you attempt to pinpoint where the pain is coming from, but it's difficult to do. you try to push yourself up, but your ribs begin to scream in pain. you let yourself fall back down and stare up at the sky. then, you notice the loud, crowded voices of your captains.

"JAY, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?" you hear chip's voice get to a level that you've never heard before. you've never heard this much anger from him. you could almost feel his emotions radiating off of him, sending waves through your body. "YOU COULD'VE GOTTEN EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON THIS SHIP KILLED. SERIOUSLY, WE TRUST YOU TO BE LOGICAL AND RESPONSIBLE, AND THAT WAS NEITHER."

you rack your mind for what he could possibly be referencing. you assume that your injuries have something to do with this. being a barbarian, you get hurt plenty, but it's always intentional and subsides soon after you heal up. this pain was different. you could gather that you, and the crew, were severely harmed in combat. obviously, you had been taken by surprise and immediately knocked out. if you were there for the battle, you definitely would've remembered it as you like to relish in your battles.

"EVEN THEY WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SO RECKLESS, AND THAT'S LIKE, THEIR WHOLE THING." you could tell chip was talking to you and you felt jay's eyes on you. chip took a deep breath. you couldn't see what was happening, but you could tell from gillion's silence that he was comforting chip in some way.

"jay," gillion broke the tense silence. "i know that things get difficult when your family shows up, but-"

"but what, gillion?" jay interrupted, clearly sobbing from the tone of her voice. "but. what. what could you possibly say right now. i fucked up. i fucked up so bad that the literal tank of our crew got knocked out immediately. i fucked up so bad that the ship almost got completely wrecked. i fucked up SO BAD that i almost got you all KILLED. so what, gillion. but what."

you knew that jay needed someone in her corner right now. you could hear her sobbing and her voice breaking as she tried to speak. you knew that you needed to get up, push the pain aside, and be with her right now. so, you stood up. everyone looked to you as you winced loudly and grabbed the railing of the ship to keep yourself up. you looked down to where you were laying and saw a deep red puddle. you knew that was your blood, but that wasn't a new sight for you. you didn't care about how injured you were. you didn't care to seek medical aid first. you cared about jay.

"holy shit." chip said while looking at you. "you're alive?"

you looked at him and squinted in confusion. "yes, i'm alive. why would i not be alive?"

"you don't remember?" gillion asked as he walked over to try and help you stand upright. "i used the last of my healing magic just to keep you from dying. i apologize that you're still in pain."

"ah, you're fine, gill. it's not like i've never-" a searing pain rushed up your body from your ribs. they were clearly broken, shattered even. you winced and your knees buckled. gillion catches you and carefully helps you sit upright against the railing on the deck.

"dude, you need to rest. you can't do anything in this condition." chip said as he walked up and crouched beside you.

"resting won't make my ribs magically piece back together again overnight." you shoot back. you didn't want to rest, not when jay is under fire like this. "don't mind my injuries right now. i'm more focused on who the hell you think you're yelling at over here."

chip just looked back at you absolutely dumbfounded. "how long have you been laying there listening?"

"long enough to hear you screaming at jay."

jay was turned around and wiping the tears from her face. you could tell that she didn't want you to see her in this state, but you absolutely did not care. the sole reason you were even on this ship was jay ferin. you would always be in her corner. you had her back even against navy during training as kids. it was always you, kira, and jay ferin. the officers were always hard on her and her dad was the worst of them all. you earned plenty of harsh punishments over the years from standing up to the authority figures in your life when they would be anything negative to jay or kira. you were their protectors. you were the first person that jay went to when she was leaving and as soon as she said that she was leaving, you were already packed and walking out of the door with her. she is your best friend and your entire world and you would never let anyone harm her.

chip tried to explain himself before gillion interrupted and finally told you the whole story. what you remember is that while you were in allport- which is usually dangerous enough with your high bounties, but you needed supplies- jay saw kira again, and she was with faye and jayson ferin. by the time the crew found her, she was already too close to them. jayson was clearly saying something to her while kira had her hand on jay's shoulder and faye stood there listening. jayson immediately spotted the crew, but his eyes almost shot to you.

"kira, jay. your best friend is here." he said with frustration dripping off the words 'best friend'. kira's eyes widened as she stared you down. her hand dropped from jay's shoulder.

"you... you're alive?" kira said with genuine shock.

"what are you doing here, kira. what are you doing with... them." you said back, gesturing to the ferins.

"what do you MEAN what am i doing here? i'm navy. i've always been navy! you used to be navy too. you AND jay. before you just... left me."

"we didn't leave YOU. we left NAVY. and before i speak one more word, you need to decide between us and navy, ki." you used the old nickname you had for kira. as kids, jay had trouble pronouncing her 'r's, so you started calling kira by 'ki' and let jay catch on. eventually, jay's slight speech impediment went away and you did away with the nickname when you were teenagers as jayson ferin always said it sounded "childish".

kira shook her head and looked down. "don't make this hard, please. you guys could just come back and we could be us again and i wouldn't have to choose."

"choose." you stated. the words pierced kira's heart and you could tell.

"i choose navy. i've always chosen navy. it's my livelihood and i'm not going to leave it for you." kira held her head up and balled her hands into fists.

"then, i'm gonna need you to get away from jay. right now." you stepped towards jay before jayson held a hand up.

"step any further and i will not hesitate to hurt you or your crew."

"i am not scared of you. i never have been. you should know that very well, jayson."

"that is ADMIRAL ferin to you."

"hard to say that when there's so many already. navy is practically crawling with faye's spawn."

faye just looked over to you with a slight smirk. you haven't met jay's grandmother often, but when you did, you immediately got an awful vibe from her. your hatred for her has only grown over the years.

"jay, just come back over to us. you don't need to go with them!" chip called from behind you as he stepped up to stand with you.

"it's not your destiny to go with them! you're walking a better path than them." gillion stepped up beside chip.

jayson's eyes were locked on you. "you have one last chance to turn around and let me talk to MY DAUGHTER in peace. choose wisely."

you looked at chip and gillion as they nodded at you. you pulled out your battleaxe and felt your blood run hot as you entered a rage. a firey aura surrounded you and your eyes began to emit a slight glow. "i've never backed down from you, even when i was a child. and now, you're gonna feel what that old rage feels like now."

before you could even charge him, you felt a heavy weight fall on you that sent you to your knees. there was nothing above you, but it felt like a boulder was dropped on you. you heard your spine crack as pain shot up your back. then you fell to the ground.

"after you fell, we all kinda backed up. gillion wanted to fight, but i could tell that this wasn't a fight we were gonna win and told jay to come with us back to the ship. jay just... zoned out. her dad told her to attack us and she just... did. ollie picked you up and we had to fight to get jay. our crew against jay, jayson, faye, and kira was not a pretty fight at all. we nearly died, multiple times, and we only managed to get out because gillion did some mind trick on jay, picked her up, and we ran." chip said, helping gillion to bandage up your wounds. jay had already left to go have some time to herself. you wanted to go with her, but she told you to just stay there and she'll talk later.

"i cast suggestion and 'suggested' that she freeze and stop attacking." gillion added.

"yeah, that. but anyway, we ran to the ship, but they just chased us. they destroyed half of the port trying to attack our ship. they even got a couple of hits on the hull. it's not awful, but it's not good either. we have to hope that we don't run into anything before we get to edison kingdom. alphonze needs a repair too, so we're just gonna kill two birds with one stone."

"we are not killing birds." gillion shot chip a glare and you giggled slightly before wincing in pain again.

"gill, it's a metaphor. it means that we're doing two things at once."

"that makes so much more sense. i didn't want to believe that you were killing birds with stones."

after getting bandaged up, you went to the captains' quarters and took a nap to try and heal up a little, same with chip and gillion.

you woke up a good few hours later. chip and gillion seemed to have turned in for the night and were resting peacefully, but you didn't see jay. feeling significantly better, you walk onto the deck to see jay sitting against the mast. you walked to sit beside her and she stared off into the distance.

"are you okay, jaybird?" you called her by your special nickname for her. when you called her that, it basically meant 'i'm here for you, tell me anything'.

"i'm not, hawk." jay replied so quietly that it was almost a whisper. hawk was her nickname for you, similar to jaybird. she called you that because hawks are generally hostile to anything bigger than them, incredibly intelligent, strong, and they're loyal. you're just like a hawk. "i froze. i keep freezing. i shouldn't be on this ship. all i do is endanger the people on it. i keep putting everyone in danger."

"jaybird," you moved to face her head on and you grasped the sides of her face to force her to look at you. "you're not a danger. you are not the danger on this ship. we constantly get thrown into danger whether it's gillion and some weird sea creatures, chip with his whole black hole in the sea thing and trying to find his old crewmates, or it's you with the navy. or hell, US with the navy. the navy isn't fond of our crew for a hell of a lot of reasons, and you're not the main one."

"don't lie to me."

"i would never even dream of it."

jay paused for a moment. she knew that you were telling the truth, from your perspective anyway, but she didn't know what to believe. she looked down and started to cry again. you pulled her in close to you and she curled up in your lap, burying her head into your chest. you're the only person she's ever been so vulnerable with. you're the only person she can consistently trust, and she knows that.

you began to caress her hair, twirling strands around in your hands. you felt your heart squeeze, but it wasn't any pain. you had long pushed aside your feelings for jay because you believed that it would cause tensions or conflicts in your further adventures, but as you watched her sob into your arms with the moon beautifully highlighting her orange hair and her face glistening with tears, you knew you had to tell her.

"jaybird, i have to tell you something." you started and jay just slightly looked up at you. "i... fuck, i don't know how to say this. basically, i have some... feelings for you."

"wait, you do?" jay sat up, genuinely confused. "how?"

"what do you mean?"

"how could you like someone like me?"

you scoffed. "well, for starters, we've been friends for years and years. we grew up together. i've watched you go from a scared kid under navy's boots to an absolutely gorgeous, strong, powerful woman. you're a damn good shot and everytime i watch you fight, i just admire you even more. we've gone from me protecting you all the time to fighting together and protecting each other. you're also just so so gorgeous. i love how the color of your hair complements your skin tone and your blue eyes. when you fight, your hair gets all disheveled and falls in your face and it just makes you look intimidating and... i don't know, it just does something to me." you kind of laugh at that last part because you didn't intend to say that, it's just what you were thinking.

jay stares at you, jaw agape, as her eyes widened. you look back at her as your heart races. you don't know what she's going to say at all. except, she doesn't say anything. she just leans over and kisses you. instinctively, you wrap your arms around her waist as she sits in your lap. she runs her hands through your hair and pulls away.

"so... that's probably good, right?"

"yes, idiot." she smiled as she kissed you again. she kissed you like she had been waiting her entire life to do so. she kissed you with such desperation and passion that you were convinced she has had feelings for you for a very long time, maybe even longer than you have for her.

you both decide that it's time to get some real rest and head into the captains' quarters. gillion was asleep in his barrel while chip was asleep in his bed right beside the barrel. instead of going to your bed, you decide to curl up with jay in hers. you were both turned to face each other. you played with jay's hair, occasionally kissing all over her face, while she made sure she was as close to you as she possibly could be. it didn't take long for you both to fall asleep. you dreamed of her and, of course, she dreamed of you.

"wait, so," chip looked at jay with a confused face, clearly about to say something incredibly stupid. "anastasia. what's all that with her. like the romantic dancing and stuff."

you looked over at jay, feeding into the stupidity. "i was charmed! i also happened to be very nervous about asking you to dance!" she looked at you while she talked.

"hmm," chip and gillion looked at each other and nodded like they were agreeing with each other. chip finally spoke up. "me personally, i wouldn't take that. would you, gill?"

gillion shook his head "absolutely not!"

"okay well gillion, you don't like women. chip, women don't like you. i am not taking girlfriend advice from two men who don't get bitches."

chip and gillion dramatically clutched their chests as they pretended to be hurt before jay actually threw a stone at both of them, causing them to fall over.

"WE'RE NOT KILLING THE BIRDS WITH STONES, THE BIRDS ARE KILLING US!" gillion yelled out, referring to jay as 'the birds'.

[op-sys-chaos]

I’m now imagining Jazz showing up to the Watchtower to yell at the heroes.

No one’s sure how this polite young redheaded girl got here (Dan brought her at her request) but she has something to say about Danny and Dan and they’re in the middle of trying to figure out what to do about it so they’re gonna listen.

“Here’s the deal. You all ignored the countless apocalypses my brother stopped and tried to imprison him for one he already dealt with. That tells me that you all are either very misinformed or horribly incompetent. I’m choosing to ignore the possible assumption that you’re all villains and just hiding it but the thought has crossed my mind.”

Geez, had they screwed this up that badly?

“So. Here’s a full list of every single apocalypse my little brother has stopped. There’s one page on each incident.”

Why was this packet thicker than Superman’s hand when both were laying on the table side by side?????

“And while you read through it, let me clarify something. Dan only exists because of a very, very specific sequence of events that involved his actual literal humanity to be violent ripped out of him moments before he merged with one of the villains Danny deals with a lot. Danny now knows exactly how to avoid that sequences of events, and he fought against Dan when the older version of him traveled through time. The only reason Dan still exists in this universe is because of said time travel creating a paradox. It’s a long story and I won’t go into it now. But basically, he still exists despite his timeline being long since erased. And after spending a long time locked up in the tower of the guy who’s basically god of time, he learned humanity again. He didn’t get his physical humanity back, but enough of a conscience remained in him that he was able to relearn empathy and kindness. And it took a LOT of work to do it. But he did that work. So. In summary. The threat you were worried about doesn’t exist and will never exist anymore, you imprisoned and tried to destroy someone who’s stopped a lot of apocalypses with no help from any of you, and the only link to that no-longer-existing timeline is no longer evil and has actually started helping stop those apocalypses.”

The heroes stared at her, mouths hanging open by the end.

“Oh!” she added a moment later. “I almost forgot. You also tried to permanently destroy a child. Danny is 14.”

Holy shit. They’d fucked up. They’d fucked up bad.

“So! With all that said, do better. Have a nice day!” Then she turned and walked out of the room, pressing something in her pocket as she did (those with enhanced hearing heard the click). Moments later, Jazz was gone.

The Flash quickly sped through reading the entire document, and when he sat back down, he looked shell shocked.

“Flash?” Batman asked.

“It’s… the kid’s dealt with over a hundred apocalyptic level threats in the last ten months. He died shortly after his 14th birthday and has been dealing with this stuff alone ever since. He’s… he’s just a kid, and he regularly fights concepts of reality to save us all. His “small fry” villains are more than powerful enough to kill the Justice League. And he deals with them in a daily basis. To the point that instead of detailing individual incidents, there’s just a page about their power set and a number of times they’ve attacked, as well as listing any specific notable incidents in detail.”

“Holy shit. And we…” Green Arrow began.

“Tried to destroy an incredibly powerful, insanely heroic child permanently because he might become a threat in the future, without doing any research into the matter whatsoever. Yeah. We fucked up. We fucked up bad.”

From that point on, the JL tries to reach out to help Danny, but Dan starts shooting at them any time they come near because “I’m not letting you assholes try to kill him again!”

They can’t even get a word in. But how well he’s defending his brother, without so much as permanently injuring the JL, further proves to them that Dan is reformed (and that they fucked up).

Eventually, the JL sends in someone like Nightwing, a hero who isn’t officially a member and is great at stuff like this. Nightwing manages to get into Amity as a civilian and talks to Danny, handing him the letter that the JL drafted sincerely, deeply apologizing. After Danny reads it, Dick pulls out a small communicator. He tells Danny that if he ever needs help, the JL is a button push away. And if the JL ever encounters a ghost, Dick asks if they can call Danny for help. He agrees to the deal, but only on the condition that they JL get properly educated about ghosts from a source Danny actually trusts. Dick easily agrees.

Jazz shows up again at the next JL meeting, this time as an invited guest, with a 600 slide PowerPoint on all things ghost. Then, at the heroes’ request, she gives the same PowerPoint to the younger hero groups like TT and YJ. Then, with her permission, the post the PowerPoint and the speaker notes on the JL website so anyone who wants reliable information can access it.

The Phantoms now have backup from the JL (and a permanent IOU if they want anything. Danny uses his for, among other small favors, regular visits to space). Danny is no longer hunted and Dan only has to deal with Thawne, who Flash often shows up to help him with. And the JL has easy access to some real heavy hitters when they need them. Though they do try to avoid calling Danny considering he’s still a kid. Dan eventually gets an official JL membership.

It’s not a perfect apology, but the JL is trying their hardest to make up for their mistakes. And the Phantoms eventually forgive them

Reformed Dan but misunderstandings suck

So, Dan has been Reformed for Years at this point. You could go with the Fandom Typical version of just chilling out, or you could go with the AGIT version of the Redemption. Either way, Dan is fully reformed and trying to find his way in the World.

Unfortunately, not everybody knows/believes him.

You know all those Time Traveling Heroes who came back to stop some great catastrophe? That was Dan.

Impulse is fucking terrified of this guy, cause he Grew Up in the Central City Stronghold and saw Phantom tear down the Walls protecting the City in person.

Booster Gold grew up in the Metropolis Stronghold, so while he never really saw Phantom in his timeline he still did know of him. I mean, obviously, he murdered every hero on the planet and subjugated most of the world, but he doesn't have much personal stake in that.

Eobard Thawn hates Phantom. Thawn himself grew up in a world where Phantom killed every Hero in the world, and he was terrified that Phantom would track him down when he tried to become the new Flash. But once he became a Walking Paradox he saw as Time itself changed to erase Phantom from existence, he got really jealous. Why did Time decide Phantom was bad enough to erase, why not him!? He's Evil! He's a Terror on the Timeline! He deserves Clockworks attention dammit!

And then, they discover evidence that Phantom has come back in Time,

So now, any and all Time Travelers are trying to find the guy who single-handedly was the Apocalypse, and want to kill him to save the world. Or out of Jealousy in Thawns case.

Either way, no matter where Dan goes to try and settle down, a bunch of annoying Heroes always find him and attack him, yelling about "Stopping his Plans" and "Saving the Timeline!" And "It should have been me dammit!"

Honestly Thawn is the most annoying one, he just runs in and rants at him about how he is jealous of how much attention Clockwork gave him. Dude, just sdmit your crush already and leave me alone. (I'm not sorry)

[mittensmorgul]

I'm sorry, I didn't mean for my ask to upset you.You're a terrific writer & I love your meta! For awhile, I've been having a hard time reconciling the show's original "humanity" theme with what's happening now. Jack's almost invincible & has God-like powers. He singlehandedly took care of Michael, Nick, Lucifer & is teaming up with 2 other supernatural heavy hitters. I like Jack but TFW's my jam. So I hope you're right that they'll still be important, even if they're not special with superpowers

It’s okay, I’m fine, really :D

I guess I’m just confused as to how the humanity themes aren’t still being well represented, considering 14.20. I mean... Dean, a human, literally snatched the guitar out of God’s hands and smashed it. He stood there, thinking there was literally no other choice but to kill both Jack and himself to save the world. After he spent more than half of s13 thinking HE needed to die or be locked in that box to contain Michael and save the world. But in the end, he literally stood up to God and said NO. No he would not destroy himself and Jack for Chuck.

(and then Chuck went ahead and killed Jack anyway)

Dean, a Human, has spent the entire season telling cosmic beings to shove it-- Michael, Billie (re: him getting in the Ma’lak box), Chuck himself. While Jack was human for a while and then finally bonded with Dean and became family to him.

But as I’ve been writing for a really, really long time, the A Plot, the defeating of the seasonal big bads, has long ceased to be the point of the show. I’ve written several things in the last few weeks about how it’s undeniably clear now that Dabb has been writing toward this endgame since he took over back in s11, and has been exploiting the show’s own spiral narrative to do it.

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/184788264850/i-will-always-maintain-that-dabbs-finales-titles

here’s a post linked in the one above that I wrote right after 12.23 aired, pointing out the fact that watching this as if it was a plot-driven narrative would lead to frustration and like... missing the whole entire point...:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/160988290690/12-while-i-do-not-ask-this-to-be-negative-at

I mean, I’m sitting here watching 13.01 right now, which from the perspective of post 14.20 looks like a freaking bookend... in pretty much every way. Dean’s prayer to Chuck which goes unanswered (which feels like the complete opposite sentiment toward Chuck that Michael will express, the opposite of what Lucifer expressed), Sam begins to teach Jack how to Human, but also to help him understand his own powers.

All of this was supposed to stop after 11.23, after Dean found a peaceful reconciliation for the original divide of the universe. Chuck promised the world would be okay without him, but it wasn’t. The hits kept coming, and in 14.20, we learned WHY:

Chuck: Listen, you guys know me. I'm hands-off. I built the sandbox -- you play in it. You want to fight Leviathans? Cool. You got that. You want to go up against -- what was it? -- the "British Men of Letters"? Okay. Little weak, but okay. But when things get really bad, like the Apocalypse or the Other Apocalypse, that's when I have to step in.

This was still Chuck, watching his favorite show, watching his guys reenact his favorite story over and over again. We’ve complained for literal years about Lucifer being a one-note, boring Big Bad, because he was. Intentionally. People were disappointed in the whole Michael storyline, because it was never really made clear what his motivations were, or what his plans were outside of the completely nihilistic desire to break everything Chuck ever built. He sounded just like another tired rehash of Lucifer’s storyline since s12:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/184740345285/im-watching-1207-on-the-tnt-loop-and-yeah

and see this for Dabb As Death, his chosen in-story avatar, the way Kripke was Chuck and Carver was Metatron:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/184557290140/death-is-one-of-my-favorite-characters-in-the

Dabb literally introduced Billie in 11.02, singing O Death. He killed her in 12.09 and then leveled her up to the mantle of Death. That’s Dabb’s function in the writer’s room... started out as just another writer, stuck around paying very close attention to the characters, through every other showrunner’s tenure, and finally leveled up himself to showrunner where he is calling the shots, and will be the one to finally end the show. Well he’s already ended the long spiral of Chuck (Kripke’s) original story. Considering how long the loop has been looping, there was really only one way to stop it: narrative syzygy and the sudden dropping of the curtain in such a way that TFW can finally see the Big Narrative Spiral for what it is. For the complete Cosmic Runaround they’ve been put through over and over again for Chuck’s entertainment.

Big Bads from the Leviathan to the BMoL to Lucifer to Michael to Asmodeus to even Crowley sometimes, to the alternate universe’s apocalypse have all been rendered secondary to what the actual point was-- the gradual character growth for Sam, Dean, and Cas. 

Sam, Dean, and Cas are the characters we care about. They’re the reason we continue watching this show even after 14 years. I wrote a post the other day about this:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/184829064145/why-is-every-piece-of-media-now-about-surprise

and here:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/184459635020/you-know-what-i-love-dabbs-vision-for-spn-he

and quoting myself from that second post: “Viewers don’t identify with apocalypses, we identify with the characters who survive them, who save the world from them, you know?”

But see, I think looking at the show as “must defeat the big bad, this is what’s important” is literally missing the entire point of watching. THAT is what Dabb wanted us to take away here.

First off, it was Dean who killed Lucifer, by finally saying yes to a version of Michael, but then Dean lost to Michael internally. He eventually DID defeat Michael inside his own mind in 14.10-- with the help of Sam and Cas. I mean... TFW victory, right? And then he spent several episodes struggling to keep Michael contained.

And all of it, in the end, when the three of them stood there facing God, was pointless. Pointless in the plot-narrative of defeating an endless string of Big Bads. Discovering that no matter how well they succeeded, no matter how many people they saved, Chuck would just throw another wrench into their lives and start the story again. Every time they thought they were finally winning, finally allowed themselves to think about their lives reaching a sort of stasis where they went out on occasional hunts and handled them easily, and even considered the “toes in the sand” sort of break from hunting where the world wasn’t constantly trying to end itself... Chuck would just toss another Cosmic Catastrophe at them.

And Jack... was one of those Cosmic Catastrophes.

(which is why no matter how much he’s become family, no matter how important he is to all of them, no matter how much they’ve all grown by their relationship with Jack, he’s still in a different narrative category than our Three Heroes)

I don’t know what Jack’s fate will be at the end of the road, but what I do know is that for the rest of TFW-- for Sam, Dean, and Cas-- s15 will absolutely be about their very human wants and needs, and their final release from Chuck’s eternal cosmic spiral. 14.20 was about their individual awakenings to this fact of the universe, this fact of their entire lives having been engineered entirely for the original creator’s entertainment. Only now can they truly fight for THEMSELVES, instead of fighting to stop an apocalypse and save the world. For the first time EVER, they are fighting for their OWN humanity.

I really really hope this makes sense. There’s only so much yelling I can do about this. :P

[b000mbayah]

i feel like giselle would be a friends-to-lovers type of girlfriend! so can i have a story or headcanon of it? thank you so much!

To chose between a headcanon or a story was hard if I'm honest, but headcanon prevailed in the end. I'm sure I'll also do a story version some point or another.

≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫

Friends-to-lovers- Giselle

•When you first met there was a simple click with something special and fun about it.

•You went by day to day, doing everything friends would do.

•Going out.

•Making fun of eachother.

•Having the most random conversations.

•Texting at ridiculous hours at night.

•Comforting each other in a way no one else could.

•You two were the chaotic duo.

•A forced to be reckoned with.

•A force that prevailed everytime.

•The two of you were like the next Bonnie and Clyde.

•Giselle makes you laugh every single day, no matter the mood or weather.

•Leaving your comfort zone had then became something you done regularly.

•Giselle was just that girl for you.

•You could go months without talking.

•But when you do talk again.. It's like you never stopped.

•You never run out of things to talk about, having similar yet different preferences is a life saver in this friendship.

•Singing in her car.

•Probably does just dance regularly.

•You don't care who sees you, because you level each other out in craziness.

•If one person thinks Giselle is crazy, then they think you're crazy too.

•If a teacher calls on you in class, they're calling on Giselle too.

•If you get yelled at and punished by your mother, Giselle is running away. 

•Making her loyal to an extent.

•Only your mothers can beat you at your own game.

•The both of you tested the world as if life was simply a game made for your amusement.

•You played life and so life decided to play you back.

•And suddenly, everything you did together just seemed more… meaningful.

•Going to the cinema seemed more like a date.

•Having those random conversations at ungodly hours became treasured memories.

•And comforting each other in ways no one else ever could just seemed to add to your special bond.

•Everything did a 180 spin within the span of a few days, possibly a week.

•Giselle had first noticed her strange feelings when she was dying of laughter.

•You were acting out a scene of someone being run over.

•She can now proudly say she loves your acting… If you'd even call that acting..

•You?

•You first realised at a sleepover. 

•Something about staring at her side profile as she sleeps so peacefully made you feel something.

•It made you feel calm, proud, peaceful, stunned and dare you say it, in love.

•She's just that beautiful.

•You saw her in ways no one else ever will.

•(Not in a creepy/weird way)

•You've both seen each other's ugliest forms.

•When you're crying over a melodramatic drama series with messy hair and empty ice cream tubs piled somewhere on the floor.

•But, you've also seen each other's best forms.

•For instance when you've both dressed up to go out for a fancy dinner together. 

•To be honest, you only go to these fancy restaurants to steal anything free.

•Free of charge is your battle cry.

•You finally figured out why leaving your comfort zone with her was easier than ever before. 

•That's because Giselle is your comfort zone. 

•Anything with her is worthwhile.

•Worth the wait. 

•Worth the sore muscles you get from laughing too hard for long periods of time.

•It took you some time to confirm your feelings with yourself.

•A month or so.

•By the time you were used to your crush and you had somewhat of a clear indication that she too liked you, you acted.

•Acting upon this wasn't as easy as you thought it was going to be.

•A small picnic in your average backyard, ocean fairy lights on the arched trees and small foods compact into the handmade basket.

•To say Giselle was shocked is an understatement.

•Her jaw literally dropped to her feet.

•Confessing to her made you nervous. 

•Even more so when Giselle froze once you popped the question. 

•After a minute or two of being ice, she tackled you into a huge bear hug.

•From that day forward, no one could even think about laying a finger on either one of you. 

•Everyone knew both of you weren't afraid to fight back if needed.

•Scaredy cats :)

•Being together made you both relaxed.

•No more panicked words.

•No more awkward "friend dates"

•No more longing looks of desired love.

•That's all over now.

•You can love each other now.

[azenkii]

A Long List of Trash Fire Lord Zuko Headcanons

...that i couldn't get out of my head:

(warning: SUPER LONG POST i havent figured out how to trim posts yet)

he's the one who unchains azula despite iroh's protests. she doesn't even try to fight him, just cries into his shoulder and keeps mumbling about how father's going to be so disappointed in her. he takes her to her rooms and has her drink a sleeping draught, then stations the best guards he has left outside her chambers.

his first council meeting takes place literally a day after sozin's comet. he hobbles into the council chamber shirtless with his entire torso covered in bandages and every council member just looks at him like '...what'

he does NOT sleep for like,,a week after sozin's comet and then another two weeks after his coronation. katara, aang and suki try to persuade him to sleep and he doesn't listen. eventually sokka, toph and mai team up to literally drag his ass to bed and tell him he's not allowed to get up until he sleeps (does mai pin him to the bed with her knives? yes. is it kinky or sexual in any way? definitely not.)

he drinks So. Much. Tea. at this point it's practically tasteless to him but he drinks it anyway because he just needs something to do and tea is something familiar. he keeps iroh on his toes because he's constantly asking for new tea blends, uncle, i think i actually tasted the last one,

he flat-out refuses to grow his hair for at least a year after ozai's defeat. the second it starts getting close to his chin he shears it off himself, with his knife, and his stylist has a heart attack every single time

when he's tired he'll occasionally jump up when one of his guards moves. it stops after a bit, but for the first month and a half or so he's really twitchy. when sokka asks, the only explanation he can come up with is that he's not used to having people stand behind him silently and not want to kill him, much less want to protect him (sokka immediately takes him out for a shopping trip and makes a point of walking behind him the entire time, but only on zuko's right side, where he can clearly see it if sokka moves towards him)

when the healer declares azula mentally unstable and in need of an institution, he shuts himself in his office for the rest of the night. no one's allowed in, not even iroh. he finally emerges in the morning, eyes red from crying and sleep deprivation, and tells the librarian that he'd like a list of the best mental institutions in the country, please, the best in the world if you can get them

he loves theatre (is this even a headcanon?). unfortunately it practically died out in the fire nation along with the rest of the creative arts, leaving nothing but small troupes like the ember island players. one of zuko's personal goals (meaning things he wants to accomplish that aren't as important as restoring his country) is to bring back theatre; he finally manages to do it after about eight months or so of being fire lord, along with other arts like dancing, music and sculpture

he establishes a national day of mourning, on the first day of autumn every year, to commemorate the genocide of the air nomads. from 100AG onwards, every calendar printed in the fire nation has it marked. at first it was called the day of repentance, but aang persuaded him to have it changed (by arguing that he didn't want guilt to be a literal staple of fire nation culture)

he introduces literally So Many educational reforms, plus a mandatory class that teaches students about the cultures of the other nations (air nomads included) and how some of their traditions overlap

he turns down the offer of having a statue put up of him in the capital. toph ignores him and does it anyway.

he visits azula regularly, makes sure she's (relatively) comfortable and well-fed, and sometimes just sits down outside her door and tells her about everything that's going on right now ('some of the far colonies have developed their own standardised writing, azula, you wouldn't believe it, and i've asked the fire sages to come visit more often—but you never liked them, did you? oh, well; i'll make sure none of them go into your chambers by mistake')

(he doesn't know it, but when he does this azula sits by the door and listens. she wonders what kind of writing the colonists have developed, and whether or not the fire sages have taken on some new recruits.)

he hates being above anyone else. never sits in the throne if he can help it, nor does he sit on the dais in the council room. when he talks to people shorter than him, he finds himself stooping a little bit to talk to them on their level (the exception to this rule is sokka, who he mocks for being shorter all the way up until sokka grows taller than him, the bastard)

the first time he visits the earth kingdom, the earth king's ministers call a toast. he ends up being the only one who has to sit out, because he's too young to drink by earth kingdom law

once his servants figure out he won't kill them for talking to him, they start becoming a lot more bold, telling him off when he doesn't take care of himself. at one point, they force him to let them take care of him so much that he literally just bolts into the gardens and hides there until the staff rope in mai and ty lee

when he needs to escape, he does one of two things: (a) he dresses up as the blue spirit and does some parkour until he calms down, or (b) he goes to work at the jasmine dragon. (b) happens less often bc the jasmine dragon's in ba sing se, but there's been a few memorable incidents when an earth kingdom diplomat walks in and yells, 'LEE?!' when they see the fire lord

the first court artist who draws him also happens to be the one who drew azulon and ozai. he draws zuko without his scar. zuko takes one look at it and tells him, very calmly, that he'd like him to leave, please.

zuko burns the portrait. he doesn't fire the court artist, but he never calls on him again unless he has to. a second court artist is called, and can't help but be a bit confused when the fire lord tells him to be sure to include the scar

he forgets the crown. a lot. sometimes he walks into council meetings in his sleepwear with his hair tied up in a messy ponytail and a bunch of scrolls tucked under his arm. none of his councilmen have the guts (or the heart) to tell him that this is not, in fact, formal council wear

he goes to feed the turtleducks when he's stressed. he thinks he's being subtle. he's not. the entire palace knows, and they consciously give him space when they see him in the turtleduck garden

most of his staff are older than him, so they look at him and see this teeny tiny fire lord who is So Small and who Must Be Protected. the day after zuko's coronation, the head chef holds a meeting where they commence Operation Do-Not-Let-That-Boy-Turn-Out-Like-His-Father (subsection He's-The-Only-Good-Thing-We-Have)

one night he wakes up to find suki sitting in his room, decked out in full kyoshi warrior garb and makeup, and just about screams blue murder. suki tells him there are suspicions of an assassin in the palace, and would you please stop yelling it's very distracting, we won't be able to hear anyone coming over that racket

zuko gets very, very paranoid of random spirits after that. yeah, suki looks like a possibly malevolent spirit when she's wearing her makeup, what about it? (when he tells sokka he's highkey terrified of spirit shenanigans, sokka just looks at him and says, 'man, the stories i could tell...', and THAT'S when zuko remembers sokka spent like six months more than he did travelling with the avatar)

on his first visit to the southern water tribe, he removes his boots and leg guards, rolls up his pants and kneels barefoot in the snow. even though chief hakoda immediately starts trying to pull him up, he's stubborn as hell and stays kneeling for the entirety of his very long, very sincere apology-on-behalf-of-the-fire-nation speech. he nearly loses his toes to frostbite after that, and both sokka and katara never stop giving him shit for it

the first time he grows a 'beard' is completely accidental. he's stressed over some trade miscommunications with chief hakoda, hasn't slept in a few days...and then when sokka arrives as water tribe ambassador to help smooth things over, he takes one look at zuko and says 'man, facial hair does not suit you'

zuko: facial what now

he checks a mirror to find that he's got stubble covering his chin, dark enough that it almost looks intentional, and holy gods how the fuck did he not notice this before

'UNCLE WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME' 'i assumed you were doing it on purpose' 'WHEN HAVE I EVER DONE ANYTHING ON PURPOSE'

he shaves it all off immediately, of course, which prompts a lot of teasing and rib-poking from sokka until zuko finally snaps that he's scared it'll make him look like his father. sokka stops after that.

(the day after sokka leaves, zuko finds that a mysterious someone has scribbled all over ozai's royal portrait, giving him a frankly ridiculous beard and moustache that literally CANNOT be grown in real life. oddly enough, he can't bring himself to care about the defamation of royal property. he's too busy laughing.)

his paths cross with toph and sokka more than any of the others, because sokka is ambassador and toph is technically still a beifong. most of the time, at formal functions, he ends up sequestered in the corner with toph and a hoard of snacks, and they talk and swear much more than they usually do (zuko's ministers once heard him when he was drunk with toph, and the servants swear the older ministers' ears started bleeding)

he restores fire nation cultural festivals, and in doing so subjects himself to learning a lot of complicated dances

during one memorable week, he wrote so many letters and drafted so much legislation that he ran out of paper. he had to go visit the nearest school and ask for some

he keeps up with his firebending and sword training even though it's hard to fit into his schedule. his ministers refrain from reminding him that he has guards to protect him now; it's still hard for zuko to trust his safety with anyone but himself (team avatar is the exception).

he started sleepwalking about two months into his reign. no one knew why. one time, he nearly sleepwalked right off the edge of a balcony, and one of his guards had to grab him by the back of his robes.

the sleepwalking stopped after around a month and never happened again. at this point it's practically palace legend.

after freeing the war prisoners, he went around collecting every single earthbender-proof wooden cell he could find in the capital and surrounding areas. when he'd gotten most of them, he gathered them into a huge pile in the city square and set fire to them with his own hands.

unfortunately he couldn't do that with the waterbender metal cells but he did get toph to come in and bend them all into pretty shapes (well, toph thought they were pretty shapes. everyone else thinks they're meaningless squiggles)

he learned how to write with both hands at the same time out of sheer necessity (he refused scribes until it became clear that he'd be putting some people out of a job; that was when he started letting scribes write very, very minor things, but all important documents/drafts/letters are still written by him)

he once put the wet end of an ink brush in his mouth instead of the wooden end by mistake. didn't even realise until he bit down to keep it in place and ink went oozing everywhere

when his guards rushed in to find him coughing and spluttering black liquid all over his desk they thought he'd been poisoned but no he's just stupid

on his 17th birthday, his first one after being crowned, he got tackled by team avatar in the middle of the ballroom and ended up at the bottom of a cuddlepile for like ten minutes

this cuddlepile happened at an event that was very much public and very much formal. it was a scandal for weeks

just. fire lord zuko, guys. so much potential

[she-who-fights-and-writes]

How would one write a realistic argument?

How to Write a Realistic Argument

Everyone argues.

Whether it be with a friend, sibling, parent, or coworker—arguments usually break out whenever there’s a stark contrast in opinion over certain things, which can happen a lot.

There are a variety of different kinds of arguments involving a wide range of people with different tempers. Because of this, writing arguments can be a bit difficult, but fear not, for this post is here to help!

1. Know The Writing Style of an Argument

For a very serious argument, the characters probably won’t stop and listen to what their opponent has to say.

It’s quick, choppy, and broken—each character shoving their emotions at one another and trying to get their point across without bothering to understand the other side’s opinions.

There should be a lot of em-dashes and italicized words for emphasis, and if it’s between two people, you want as few speech tags as possible; because there’s going to be a lot of back and forth, speech tags can serve to trip up the flow of the argument rather than help them.

When you do want speech tags or if there are multiple people arguing at once here’s some examples you can use:

Roared

Screamed

Yelled

Bellowed

Barked

Hissed

Shouted

Accused

Interrupted

Growled

Snarled

Spat

Screeched

Shrilled

But you also must know that your characters won’t just be standing stock still and yelling at one another; they’re going to be moving around, so here are some things you can describe your character doing during an argument

Expression contorting

Eyes narrowing

Speaking through clenched teeth

Baring their teeth

Lips twisting (into a sneer/into a snarl)

Hands balling into fists

Trembling

Breaking things/knocking stuff over

Pointing accusingly

Shoving

Spittle flying from their mouth

Stamping their feet

Face getting hot

Vein in forehead popping

Blood roaring in their ears/heart pounding

And if you want, to build tension you can put it in a dangerous place, like at the edge of a cliff or something—so you know fully well that if one of them goes too far it may end up with the other’s accidental death.

2.Know Your Characters

The most important factors of your argument are the characters participating in it.

You should have your characters’ tempers established beforehand so you know if they’re going to be hanging back while others argue or if they’re going to be throwing hands every other chapter.

Your characters’ tempers will shape how much tension the argument causes.

An argument with someone who is usually chill and slow to anger will be a whole lot more impactful and important than an argument with someone who is a known hothead, but it wouldn’t make sense if the argument happened over something minor.

Here’s a list of some of the tempers your character can have, ranked from lowest to highest on how much tension an argument with them causes

 (Just so you know, these aren’t rigid categories; most people are usually a mix of everything!):

–Hotheaded Character–

Fights with a hothead hold the least tension. 

Hotheads will fight over anything and everything, their quick fuse making them easy to irritate and anger. Their words can hurt people who aren’t used to it, but usually bounce off of close friends who are used to it and know that the hothead usually doesn’t mean it.

Arguments with hotheads have a high chance of turning physical, because their rage explodes in bursts rather than a slow buildup (the definition of going from zero to one hundred), and in any situation, hotheads are usually the ones to throw the first punch.

 Because a hothead could get riled up about a spilled drink just as quickly as they can get riled up about a friend dying, just having a hothead getting angry during a moment of severe tension won’t bring you the umph that you’re looking for.

However, your hotheaded character can serve as an instrumental character in triggering more serious arguments, one of their mindless snide remarks going too far with a level-headed or shy character.

Examples of hotheaded characters:

Stanley Kowalski, A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams

Lt. Tom ‘Iceman’ Kazansky, Top Gun (1986)

Anger, Inside Out (2015)

–Aloof Character–

These characters are a lot like hotheads, but the many, many fights that they pick don’t involve them getting raging, screaming mad.

They’re cold, calculating, and cutthroat, and they couldn’t care less about what you think of them.

Their anger is a lot less “loose cannon” than the hotheads’. They say what they mean and mean what they say, and it’ll take a long time to recover from the tongue-lashings these people can dish out.

The greater tension, however, comes from when the aloof characters raise their voices and start shouting—their schooled, uncaring façade fades away and they’re left truly and undeniably angered by whatever tipped the scales.

It’s not too tension-building because these characters were just bastards to begin with, but it’s still unnerving and shocking to see a normally collected character lose their cool.

Examples of aloof characters:

Mr. Darcy, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Prince Cardan, The Cruel Prince by Holly Black

Alex Stern, The Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo

Sherlock Holmes, Most Media Types

Tony Stark, The Avengers

–Nonchalant Character–

These people usually don’t engage in meaningful arguments because they literally don’t care enough to bother. 

When another character tries to pick a fight, a character who is more nonchalant will sometimes roll their eyes at whatever accusation is being leveled at them rather than retorting. This can go either way, perhaps escalating the tension or diffusing it by not offering up a reply.

Kind of like with the aloof character, they don’t have any emotional attachment arguments that they start or are dragged into. They’ll argue for the sake of arguing, but they really don’t give a fuck about it. 

The part that draws the tension, however, is when the characters do give a fuck. A fight they get into turns heated, and a character’s normal devil-may-care attitude may morph into something else altogether.

Most nonchalant characters also may exhibit some hotheaded tendencies, which shows how muddles these archetypes can be.

Examples of Nonchalant Characters:

Han Solo, The Star Wars Saga

Deadpool, Deadpool (2016)

Angel Dust, The Hazbin Hotel

–Level-headed/Stoic Character–

These characters are the cool cucumbers of the group. They’re very, very, VERY slow to anger, and usually exhibit more maturity than their peers, almost never starting arguments. 

They’re the masters of diffusing arguments with a few words, and hardly ever raise their voices.

Sure, they may serve as backup to someone else and may jump to their aid with a bit of heat behind their words, but this hardly happens when the argument is their own.

Many hotheaded or aloof characters may try teasing or pushing these characters in order to act out, but it rarely works.

On the few instances that a level-headed character is angered, it is pretty serious.

Either one of the other characters poked fun at something they shouldn’t’ve—their dead parents, something they’re self-conscious about, etc.—or a member of the group makes a terrible mistake with dire consequences, and the stoic character has had enough.

This causes a lot of tension because “oh shit, the calmest person in our group just went off” and can usually signal a breakdown of the group because their strongest link is snapping.

Examples of Stoic Characters:

Geralt of Rivia, The Witcher

The Mandalorian, The Mandalorian

Spock, Star Trek

The Doctor, Doctor Who

Atticus Finch, To Kill A Mockingbird

–Timid/Shy/Quiet Character– 

An argument with a timid person causes by far the most tension out of everything, to the point where I call it “The Snap.”

Someone who is timid, shy, or quiet would rather not argue at all because they don’t have it in them to retort.

They may care a whole lot about the situation under contention, but for one reason or another they don’t want to start too much trouble. These people actively avoid conflict and usually try their best to diffuse situations before they start, whether it be by conceding, walking away, or pulling the nonchalant route and not saying anything.

However, unlike the stoic characters, they might be much more emotional; it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for a timid character to cry when being berated by the others, and they may even be outwardly livid, but they always back down in the end.

 However, they can only hold it in for so long.

 If you have a character who spends the entire book meekly accepting the verbal (or perhaps physical) harassment of other characters, you should most definitely put a “Snap” somewhere in the story, a point where the character has had enough and fights back.

 The timid character’s pent-up rage and sorrow explodes into a raging argument that will most definitely frighten the other characters.

 The tipping point may be the death of the loved one or just a simple, ordinary jab from an antagonist—the straw that broke the camel’s back.

 Unlike with the hothead’s quick bursts of anger like snap fireworks, the anger of a quiet character—much like with a stoic character—is like ten thousand pounds of dynamite with a very, very long fuse.

A quiet character will almost never have a contained argument once they’ve snapped; it will be like a category five hurricane, and God help the poor bastard that set it off.

Examples of timid/shy/quiet characters:

Carrie White, Carrie by Stephen King

Amélie Poulain,  Amélie (2001)

Bilbo Baggins, The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkein

3. Know The Rhythm of An Argument

An argument isn’t just 0 to 100 and then back to 0. 

The tension levels look more like a squiggly line than a single spike; the tension peaks and ebbs on various levels throughout an argument, especially if it’s a long, important one where both characters are snapping over a novel’s worth of building tension.

The argument can come in like a freight train or it can build up slowly, a character storming in after a realization or a single snide remark that snowballs into something much greater.

Then comes an accusation. Both characters brace themselves and realize that this argument isn’t just going to putter out.

More back and forth words exchanged. “I don’t like that you do this, this and this,” while the characters’ tempers flare even further, pushing them to say more extreme, hurtful things and working each other up into a rage.

A physical fight may break out between the two, throwing punches and insults.

The climax should be a huge, shocking exclamation or accusation. “I hate you!” “If you were never born, Mom would still be alive!” “This is all your fault!”

The tension ebbs. The characters stand in silence, bitter and ashamed of themselves.

They may agree on a few things, their tempers start to die down. They may come to some understandings or storm off with the tension unresolved. The argument ends.

This is the basic format of an argument; however, there are usually several levels of accusation-buildup before the eventual climax.

The whole point of an argument is that it leaves the characters’ relationships much different than they’d been before; they either understand each other much more, or they’ve become much more wary of one another.

If your characters’ relationship doesn’t change after an argument, then there was no point in writing it.

I really hope this helped! Happy Writing!

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: May 15th Part 1

It’s been longer than usual since our last answer session, so I’m answering a ton of questions today! It’s so big I split it into two parts. Thank you for the patience on getting a response to these.

Thanks for reaching out to us with your questions and kind words ^^!

Sorry if this has been asked before or isn't something you can say but is there anyway for Cove to confess in step 4? I wanted him to confess in step 3 and followed all the steps to make him do it but ended up texting my family instead of Cove at the end.

Yeah, Cove can confess in Step 4!

Hello! I heard that Cove is on the spectrum, albeit undiagnosed. As someone who is ND, this makes me UNBELIEVABLY happy. I literally was brought to tears! Thank you for that!

Out of curiosity, will Cove be diagnosed in Step 4? I have a strong feeling y’all won’t make it a HUGE deal/make it out to be negative, so I’m not worried about that whatsoever! I’m just curious just he’ll off handedly mention it? Or will it just not be touched upon at all (which is ok!)?

Either way is ok, I’m just curious!

I’m happy it made you happy! Admittedly, Cove simply being someone with autism that grew up not being diagnosed was something I included for myself. I didn’t really think anyone would notice or ask about it, aha. But players did start to have questions about his traits, so I started to talk about it outside of the game. It’s great to see it get such a positive response and now I do feel like having it be a non-topic may have been the wrong choice and bringing it up would’ve been good in terms of having positive representation for that. I don’t know if I’ll find a way to mention it in Step 4 now, with how far along the game is, but I am at least thinking about it when originally it wasn’t something I really even considered.

Hey!  Just wanted to say thank you for Our Life.  It's been a bright spot and a needed escape in what's otherwise been a crummy year.  I know you just did a Q&A post but I figured I'd ask anyway.  Was just curious about Step 4.  Will it be similar to the other Steps in that it consists of several different moments or will it just be one long sequence?

Step 4 is shorter than the prior Steps because it’s just an epilogue rather than a full arc of a story. It’ll consist of scenes that all happen in a set row one after the other. There won’t be a collection of Moments to choose from. But it’ll still be very sweet and fun.

¡hola!, you see, first I want to say that I love Our Life! (°◡°♡) and I have 2 important questions, would Cove cry watching titanic? and what is the saddest part according to him? (sorry for my english) 

Titanic would make him cry. He’d probably think the parts showing people who aren’t able to make it to the life boats/are choosing to stay and go down with the ship were the saddest.

Hello, I wanted to ask how much you earn with creating games? Like is it possible to make a living? Thank you >< <3 

How much I earn varies a lot month to month based on Steam sales, Patreon backers, and how many projects are in full production at the time. It’s also hard to say how much I make historically, since that also changes dramatically year by year. But I do earn enough to work on these games full time! I really appreciate all the support that allows me to do that.

Hey!! I was wondering for the 18+ Our Life moment, will there be an emphasis on safety/comfort for all involved? I feel like there  would be just going off of what the rest of the game is like, but I wanted to ask 

Yes! Cove is a nervous boy himself and also super cautious about doing anything the MC doesn’t like, so clear consent from both is absolutely needed for anything to happen. It’s a conversational sexy times Moment with stops/starts so the two can talk about how they’re feeling, rather than a heat of the moment just going for it kind of thing.

Hey!! I was wondering how long the wedding dlc would be? Will it be broken up into moments, or just one big event? 

It’s one long series of scenes all in a row rather than a collection of Moments to pick from. It’s the shortest and the least expensive of all the DLCs. It’s not super crucial to get and those who aren’t into big weddings can totally skip it without worry.

HELLO AMAZING DEVS 👋 i am hopelessly in love with the worst guy ever (jeremy king) and because of this i have a really stupid question: does he really hate people who are nice to him? TvT he’s too cute to be mean to istg it’s a miracle JB held the urge to be consistently nice to him bc just look at his FACE he is so cute! thank you for jeremy’s route it’s so lovely (and awful bc he’s scum 11/10) it gave me so much laughs LMAO i hope you guys have a good day!! 

Haha, thank you. He doesn’t hate them but he’s certainly not pleased with them. Jeremy is either uncomfortable with or annoyed by people being sweet on him, depending on how they approach it. He’s far more comfortable with jerkiness. It lets him relax and he can be himself without it being a problem, since he’s also a jerk. He feels a level of guilt being such a little punk to kind people, not enough to be a better person but still.

Has Cove dated or been interested in someone other than MC? 

Nope! He stays single over the course of the game if he’s not with the MC.

Is Step 4 more mature? Or it's gonna be set in similar atmosphere as Step 3? 

Step 4 is a similar atmosphere as Step 3. Though, it’s actually kind of less mature-topic heavy than Step 3 since it’s just a ‘hey, let’s check in on the gang to see what they’re up to’ style epilogue rather than a story arc with serious issues.

will there be new music for now and forever?? or will the old our life music be reused? 

It’s gonna be a brand new soundtrack. We’ll be opening up a job position for that soon.

Hi, is it okay if we use the assets in Our Life (like the sprites) for fanworks or fan content content, like edits? 

Sure! Just as long as you don’t use the assets made by those artists to make money.

Quick clarification on Step 3 choices: I hope I didn't come off rude (because I LOVE the game, really!!), I was just curious because the intro threw me off at times. For example, you could choose how you felt about Elizabeth in Step 2 (Dinner), but during the Step 3 intro, it says that you got closer to Liz and I didn't get a choice in it. 

For the example, it can’t be helped that you’re closer to Liz in Step 3 than you were in Step 2 because she’s inherently closer to the MC regardless of whether you liked her or not in Step 2. Her feelings are out of your control and the game isn’t so dramatic that you can push her affection away and not let her bond with you, haha. But ‘being closer’ can still be relative. For some people maybe that means you’re best buds now and for others it might just mean you’re not fighting all the time any more. If there’s other parts you want to mention, feel free to let us know.

Did the illustrator for Our Life change? 

We have many OL artists! The main artists who set the game’s style haven’t changed, but there’s multiple other artists who help finish assets.

So Miranda's type is confident and outgoing, huh? So...does that mean Terri's her type?? 👀 

Haha, sorry for the late reply on this. As you might’ve seen in our post yesterday- yeah that is her type.

Hey! First, I just want to say I've really enjoyed how detailed OL got with gender identity and sexuality and how respectful the topics were handled! It's been so wonderful to play since the experiences could be close to my own (I'd be lying if I said I didn't tear up at parts). Second, I was wondering, would future games explore the topic of polyamory? I'd love to see more visual novels allow room for that and I saw you've explored the topic before.

Keep up the amazing work! ♡

Thank you! We do want to include polyamory in at least some of our future projects. Floret Bond, which might be what you’re referring to when mentioning how we’ve explored the topic before, is on hold unfortunately. So right now I’m not sure when something might release or what will be the first game of ours to come out with poly relationships (we might do something else before FB is done). We’ll have see how things ends up coming together.

Hey um. I feel like im not allowed to ask this on the private discord cuz people will yell at me but why is there so much focus on OL2 and not finishing OL1 stuff? I like the new people but i kind of want to finish cove's story and get derek and baxter stuff first. didn't people pay for it? 

I’m sorry, I don’t understand entirely what’s making that situation a concern. There’s a channel in the discord for critique where no one is allowed to comment back. People can voice things they’re worried about without any way for others to push back on it. And the two teams working on the OL games are different. We try to post pretty often about how we’re hiring brand new people to start on Our Life: Now & Forever. The OL1 team is all still working on OL1 like normal. There’s only more updates on the Patreon for OL2 because the expansions to the first game are mostly script-based at this point while OL2 is just starting to get all its art, which means there’s a lot more to show off as previews.

Also, there was a Kickstarter for the first Our Life, if that’s what you mean by people paying for it. But one of the stretch goals was to start Our Life 2 early, before fully completing Our Life 1, so that the new game could be out sooner. It wouldn’t make sense to stop doing OL2 work because that would be going against what backers were promised. Maybe you didn’t get the full story before and hopefully this clears it up!

Hello! I know it's up to every player but.. What is your recommendation for playing order? Did you ever had any timeline  events planned? 

I didn’t make the events with a planned timeline. The events got made simply as I had ideas for them and then I just kind of organized them from left to right on the screen in an order to space out more dramatic ones between more lighthearted ones. Any order the player wants to go with is totally valid!

Hi! It's Step 4 a paid dlc or update? And how long it's planned to be? Ps. Love the game! 

The Step 4 epilogue is free! The Cove Wedding DLC does cost money, though. Those are planned to be shorter than the usual Steps/DLCs.

Will we have options for what sort of job the MC might have by the time step 4 takes place? 

Yeah, you can. It’s not super exact or detailed, but there are options about it.

Is there a pandemic in Our Life world, or is it just in a better timeline with no pestilence? 

Our Life is pandemic-free! That didn’t exist when we began working on the project and it’s not something we’d like to feature in this story now that it has unfortunately come along, aha.

Hi, you said that you can play tic-tac-toe or hangman with Cove in Boating if you're sick/scared but I keep getting tic-tac-toe. Am I doing something wrong?

After being sick/scared you have to continue to be upset/unwell. If you calm down and decide to just chill you’ll end up playing tic-tac-toe.

Hi, GB Patch! Since Lee was initially commissioned to only appear in two Steps does this mean she won't appear in the Wedding DLC? I really like her character so it'll be a little weird to not have our cousin at our wedding, aha.

She is gonna be in Step 4/the wedding DLC after all! We’re still working with her creator to make sure it fits with what they wanted.

Is Sunset Bird based on a real place? Asking for a friend, not trying to move there or anything. 👀

It’s based on small beach towns in So-Cal, but not one specific town you could go see in real life, I’m afraid. It’d be nice if it was real, though.

—– —– —– —–

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

[kaz11283]

Of Course I'm Here

Characters: Come on you know by now how this goes (Loki x you) (Team x you, platonic)

Warnings: None. And really if you ever see anything that I might need to able as a warning please let me know... I'm the person who forgets there are people out there that get offened by the word F*** if that is an exapmle of anything.

Summary: Mid battle and the avengers keep looking for an answer as to why the God of Lies hasnt showed up yet. Of course you have no idea but at least he proves them all wrong.

ANNOUNCEMENT TIME: hey guys Im back, I know it hasnt been long but I also know I havent been posting every single day like I was, i got into a weird little funk where I didnt want to do anything, I was just feeling completly drained, and I felt bad because I have my little and I didnt even want to play with her because I have just been so TIRED, but I'm feeling better. Work has been kicking my ass here lately and ive been working over 50 hours a week so ive literally been coming in, eatting / feeding the little, getting us ready for bed, and crashing as soon as she falls asleep. But im here now. I will probably be more active on weekends than during the week because I have more time to spend working on stuff but I will be posting also during the week just not daily. At least until after state comes. Thank you so much for the reblogs, likes, comments, follows, and messages please keep them coming! If you would like to be tagged please ask or message, and requests are open. Love you guys so much! 💚💚💚💚💚

Loki Masterlist

~~~~~

"Y/N, BACK UP I NEED BACK UP! EYES IN THE SKY!" Tony yelled from above, you and Clint stood back to back on a roof top shooting as many bad guys as you could. Clint took aim at another carrier, shooting at the engine causing the entire thing to blow up raining debris and hot metal around you.

"Damnit Clint! Farther away make sure they are farther away!" You yelled popping him on the head with an arrow before aiming it at the thing that was chasing Tony.

"Where is lover boy at? You.sent him the location right?" Nat asked into the com.

"Yes I sent him the location, no I dont know where hes at." You mocked.

"Did you send him the right location?" Sam asked.

"One time, one dam-"

"Language!" Steve chimed in causing everyone to groan. Gun shots where ringing all around you and you could here metal on metal paired with Hulk screams coming from another building over.

"Language." You mocked muting your com son that no one but Clint heard you. "I am a 26 year old woman, I think I'm old enough to cuss if I want." You drew back your bow and sent another arrow flying into another goon that had Nat trapped aginst a wall. She shot you a thumbs up before running off. You hit unmute on your com.

"Jesus, 26? Baby, you sure you don't need to be at a babysitter instead of on a building killing things?" He laughed.

"Dont worry Hawk, when we get done here I've already booked you a nice nursing home to be put into." You put your bow around you and stood on the edge of the building. "I need a better view." You looked round, the top of a taller building caught you eye. "There Hawk, we can cover a better radius from up there, get closer to the action."

"DOES ANYONE KNOW WHEN THE GODS ARE GOING TO BE HERE? WE NEED MORE HELP WERE GETTING TIRED AND OUT NUMBERED!" Tony came over the coms screaming.

"How do we get up there? Or do I even wanna know?" Hawk came to examin where you were talking about.

"Im jumping, you cant tell me that someone wont catch me." You shrug.

"GODS WHERE ARE TH- Y/N DONT YOU DARE JUMP!" Tony stopped and hovered right were you was standing.

"Then take us over there. We need higher ground, we cant cover everyone from down here." You crossed your arms.

"Where are the gods at y/n?" He asked again

"I. Dont. Know. Jesus you guys act like I'm suppose to be there keeper!" A simultaneous you are came from everone through the com causing you to roll your eyes. "Hes gonna be here I swear it! Now take me to the building or I jump. 1.....2....-" Tony grabbed you by the collar of your jacket and flew you to the building.

God these things were everywhere and you were starting to run out of arrows. After shooting another ship and causing it to blow you heard what was unmistakably pounding on the roof top door leading to where you currently was at.

"I have some univited guests about to join my party. Anyone available for some assistance?" You yanked out the two emerald green and silver daggars that your boyfriend had given you not long after you had started dating after throwing your bow around you.

"Buy some time kid, I'm on ground level right now but I can try to get up there as fast as possible." Bucky called over the com.

"Buy some time? Ok. I can do this. I work better from afar but a little hand to hand never hurt anyone, just easier to get stabbed this way." The first of the things busted through the door running straight at you. You jerked out of the way missing his staff by just a few inches. Quickly turning you flipped the dagger like Loki had showed you and stabbed him in his side causing him to fall to the ground before the next one tried to impale you.

"I have two daggers and they have freaking staffs! Back up! WHERE THE HELL AR-" you were interupted by static in the air and a bright light. The bitfrost had just opened up leaving to gods standing in front of you and taking out the remainder ofnthe bad guys. "HES HERE! I TOLD YOU GUYS THEY WERE COMING AND THEY'RE HERE." You pulled two extra coms from you pocket and gave them to Thor and Loki.

"Always a pleasure to battle beside you Lady y/n." Thor smiled takkng the com and putting it in his ear before taking off again.

Loki sauntered over to you and put his arm around you waist, you put the com in his ear as he rolled his eyes. He leaned down and gave you a quick kiss.

"You got a new outfit." You smiled at him. God the way he looked in his battle clothe always did something to you, the horned helment was a plus.

"You like it." He smirked down at you pulling you closer.

"Your wearing your horns to." You reached up and brushed a peice if hair behind his ear.

"STOP. STOP NOW. WE CAN HEAR EVERYTHING AND ITS GROSS." Tony yelled causing you both to roll your eyes.

"Quick run down, bad guys everywhere, no end in sight, and I'm out of arrows pretty sure Hawk is too." Loki waved his hand over your quiver making more arrows appear.

"I see you had to use your daggers. I am sorry for not being here. Are you hurt anywhere?" He asked stepping away from you to examin you.

"Small cut on the side, nothing I havent dealt with before, Ill be fine. You go make sure Hawk is fully stocked up and help the others. I got a birds eye view of you right here." I leaned in kissing him one more time before smiling at him and pushing him away. He kissed his two finger before placimg them over his heart and you did the same, "always." You both said before he disappered.

You could hear Thor laughing at the chaos going on and Steve trying to direct the god of thunder on what to do. You had learned earlier to just let him do his own thing and he would be fine. Tony was still trying to micromanage everything when you heard Loki mumble something in an old language and his com cut out. You had figured it wouldnt have stayed on to long though but at least you had tried. It had calmed down up on your end so you decided to finally go back down to where Clint was at shooting an arrow with heavy duty rope you glided back down next to him to watch what was going on.

"Hello, earth to y/n." He snapped his fingers in front of your face. You had been to busy staring at Loki and that damn helmet. "I dont even understand why were friends." He rolled his eyes propping up on the ledge watching as the rest of the team secured the last of the bad guys.

"Because we both shoot arrows, because we are both the best in the team, or because we both know we are the best looking one on the team so we have to stick together." You laughed jumping up so you could sit on the ledge.

"The birds can come out of their nest now." Bucky called over the coms causing you both to sigh.

When you and Clint had reached the bottom you walked over to Thor theowing your arms around the big goof ball.

"You are amazing during battle as always." He beemed patting you on the shoulder.

"As always? Thor youve only fought with her twice." Steve said beside you.

"I had a week off. Went to Asguard, spent time with the boys. Someone had to keep them in line." You shrugged like it was no big deal.

"She was amazing!" Thor went on telling the story of the fight you had all gotten into.

"Mothers been asking about you by the way dear. Wants to know if you've decided to come stay for a while." Loki leaned down and whispered in your ear.

"I think I'm leaning toward a yes. I can't stand being away from you, you had been gone forever this time." You reached for his hand as you both walked to the quinjet.

"I was making arrangements to have our room redone. I figured you would come with me." He gave you a knowing smirk as he reached up to take off his helmet.

"Leave the horns on. I have a suprise for you when we get home." You pulled his hand away from his head and smacked his butt.

"You are a little minx." He laughed chasing you into the jet while the rest of the team groaned and rolled their eyes.

"Even if you wasnt moving i would be kicking your ass out! I am so sick of the PDA between you two." Tony hollared after you.

"Leave them alone Tony, they are courting. Im just glad my brother is happy and not trying to stab me." Thor clapped Tony on the back.

~~~~~

Tag List:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@high-functioning-lokipath

[jinmukangwrites]

Whumptober2021 - October 4th - Taken Hostage | Pushed

Gift fic to @fidothefinch <3

Fandom: Nightwing, Batman - All Media Types

AO3

Warnings: Near death experience, hostage situations, implies Bruce as a shitty dad but I don't go into detail on it.

---

If there’s anything in the world that Dick hates more than being restrained, it’s being held hostage. Especially if he’s being held hostage as a threat against Bruce or Batman. One thing they don’t tell you in the foster system is that if you’re adopted by a rich and famous to the Kardashian level man, is that you’re often the target of criminals who think snatching a kid on their way home from school is a surefire way to make a million bucks. It’s no better in the vigilante business either, because often any hero in Gotham is only seen as a stepping stool to getting to Batman.

Honestly, at this point Dick’s used to it. It doesn’t mean he enjoys it, though. Not so much because of the initial kidnapping part, but because he’s worked hard to become his own person, his own man with his own life. He moved to Blüdhaven to be anything other than the son of Bruce Wayne; to be his own hero that villains learn to fear. And then the second he sets foot back in Gotham, for whatever reason, suddenly it’s all about the reclusive eldest Wayne child returning home! Suddenly, when villains see him at night, it isn’t “Oh shit, it’s Nightwing!”, it’s “Shit, it’s a Sidekick! Where’s the Bat?!”

Anyway, long story short, Dick came back to Gotham for one weekend to visit family, and now he’s dressed as Nightwing, standing on a roof with duct-tape keeping his wrists together behind his back and a knife to his throat belonging to a shady businessman who’s finally caught the attention of Gotham’s heroes.

And it’s sorta pathetic how Dick ended up in this situation. It wasn’t like this was going to be a particularly difficult mission. Just sneak into the building, grab the evidence he needed to get this bastard behind bars, and then get out. Unfortunately, someone tipped the man off without Bruce knowing about it. When he went into the main office, he was met with a very strong guard hiding behind the doors, and after a hefty blow to the head and a few concerning minutes of blacking out, Dick opened his eyes—thankfully still masked—to find himself kneeling on the rough cement of a skyscraper’s roof, completely stripped of any of his useful tools. He has a small knife in one of his gauntlets, but it’s not exactly in an easy to reach position. It would take time to grab at it, and that’s not counting the high probability he’ll be spotted by Jerome McCoy--Gotham’s latest shady businessman--or any of his goons.

Besides, Tim is already up here listening to their demands to get Batman up here or Dick dies. It shouldn’t be long before Bruce gets here and kicks his ass. That’s not even accounting for the facts that Jason, Steph, Duke, Dami, and Cass are all in town.

These idiots have no clue how close they are with dealing with close to every single bat if something bad happens to Dick tonight.

And everything was going fine until Tim suddenly stopped mid sentence in reminding McCoy that Batman was on his way and brought his hand to his communicator in his ear. When Tim paled ever so slightly, Dick knew something had gone exactly NOT according to plan.

“What is it?!” McCoy demands, pressing the knife against Dick’s neck with worrying pressure. Dick leans his head back slightly to lessen the risk of his neck being cut and meets Tim in the eyes through their masks.

Tim swallows. “Batman is being held up-”

Dick resists sighing in both disappointment and lack-of-surprise as McCoy practically explodes.

“What?!

“Only for a few hours,” Tim rushes to explain. He’s lifted his hands in a placid manner and softened his voice, which can’t be good. “He’s… met an unexpected complication along the way that he cannot ignore. Please, just tell me what you want, and I can take my partner and be out of-”

“I don’t have a few hours,” McCoy practically screeches. “Either Batman makes it his priority to get here, or Nightwing gets it!” to make a point, McCoy lifts the knife from Dick’s neck and waves it in front of him. Dick slides his eyes over to the other goons on the roof; there’s only a few. Maybe… if Dick plays his cards right… “That was the deal!”

“I understand-”

“Tell Batman to get here now, or Nightwing’s blood is on his hands!”

“He’s busy- I can’t just-”

Dick slams his body back, pointing his elbow the furthest he can with the way his arms are bound and jamming it into McCoy’s stomach. McCoy lets out a startled, breathless gasp as Dick uses his surprise to escape from his grasp and jump to his feet.

“’Wing!” Tim yells at the same time McCoy wheezes “Get that fucker!”

Dick has just a second to notice Tim’s shock at Dick’s sudden attack before Dick’s having to defend himself with his hands literally tied behind his back. Sorry, kid, Dick thinks, ducking around a pair of beefy arms, but we’re out of options.

It was going well until it wasn’t. Tim was even about to step in. However, while waking up from his lovely whack to the head, Dick failed to assess just where he was on the roof.

All it took was for the back of his heel to tough nothing but air for his heart to jump to his throat. Instinctively, he tried to wave his arms to catch his balance, but was quickly reminded of his predicament when the tape tugged against his wrists. For a moment, pure panic filled his entire body, here, wobbling backwards off the edge of a roof dozens of stories above the ground. He could feel his heart pound, hands shake, breath catch, hair rustle in the wind, but he couldn’t do a thing to stop himself from falling backwards. He’s pretty sure he hears Tim scream his codename, but he’s not totally focused on anything other than his pending doom right now-

A heavy hand wraps around his upper-bicep, stopping his almost-promised journey to pancake town. Everything is silent on the roof for a solid moment, as Dick practically hangs over the ledge of the roof with his feet just barely still on solid ground, a goon holding him juuuuuust enough to make sure he doesn’t fall. Tim looks even paler than before, looking like he really did watch Dick go over the edge. McCoy looks a constipating mixture of smug and outraged while the other goons stand nearby like useless props.

Then, McCoy speaks with anger as heavy and level as stone. “Tell Batman I want him here in ten minutes.”

Tim meets Dick’s eyes, and Dick sees everything that he needs to. Whatever is holding Bruce up, it’s more important than Dick, and Tim knows it’s useless to even try.

“Please,” Tim says, voice wobbly. He’s a detective. He knows what’s about to happen. “Just give us more time-”

McCoy snaps a finger, and that’s that.

The hand on his arm pushes Dick away and opens it’s grasp. It doesn’t matter anymore that Dick had his feet on the roof, because the rest of his body is falling.

Falling.

Dick’s completely off the roof in a blink of an eye and he’s falling.

The air is rushing past his ears and through his hair, so loud he can barely think. That’s if he’s thinking at all, as story after story passes him by. He’s falling, and for the first time in a long time, he’s afraid of falling, because this time there’s nothing he can do to stop it. He doesn’t have any tools… he doesn’t even have his hands, nor enough time to even try and get his hands free. He’s falling, rushing to the ground. He can already see in vivid detail what his body will look like when it hits the pavement.

He’s falling. He’s standing at the top of a beam, watching his mama and papa fall. He’s falling. He’s screaming as the sound of their bodies landing and snapping reaches his ears. He’s falling and he’s going to die in the most Grayson way possible.

He’s going to die the same way his parents did, a way that he’s worked hard to not be afraid of ever since he first moved in with Bruce, but was always secretly terrified.

He closes his eyes. He doesn’t want to watch. He’s afraid, and Tim will watch from above and blame himself and he never wanted any of his siblings to blame themselves for his death like how he blamed himself for his parent’s for decades and-

And the wind is knocked out of him, but not from his body slamming on the ground. A strong arm wraps painfully around his stomach, and suddenly the world turns sideways and his eyes shoot open in shock.

“Fuck,” Jason grunts, holding Dick with one arm and the other wrapped tightly in a grappling line. “Fucking hell.”

And Dick… doesn’t know what to do. He feels muted, like a YouTube video playing at 144p and buffering still. The adrenaline is pumping so loudly through his entire body that the fact that Jason’s caught him doesn’t register until Jason’s landing roughly on the ground and lowering Dick to the asphalt.

“Started heading over the second that bastard said he wasn’t coming,” Jason explains. Dick nods numbly, his eyes locked on the oil covered road below him, his mind still trying to process. “Said he ran into some bastard working for Two-Face holding some rich family hostage. Said we could handle it. I can’t believe I got here just in time. Fucking fuck-face fucker.”

There’s a splash of two feet landing on the permanently puddled street beside them, and Dick can hardly contain his flinching at the sound, but thankfully Jason doesn’t notice. He just stands up and faces where Tim has landed quite suddenly from where he must have grappled down from the roof. Dick continues to look at the ground, wringing his knitting together in front of him. He… hasn’t noticed Jason undid the bindings.

“What happened to McCoy?” Jason demands, and Tim takes a gasping breath and shakes his head.

“They ran into the building while I… jumped after N.”

Jason growls, taking a step forward but Tim stops him. “Orphan said she’ll handle it, she sounded pissed.”

Jason backs off, but anger still curls in his stomach like an old friend. His fists clench to his side. “Once I see B, I’m gonna punch his teeth up to his brain.”

And it must be proof of how shaken Tim is, because he doesn’t argue.

Then, like a pin hitting tile, a small sound catches Jason’s ears. He looks down to where Dick is still sitting in the grime of Gotham’s street. His heart sinks to his gut.

“N?” he asks, and Dick doesn’t respond. “Nightwing, you’re… crying.”

That directs Tim’s attention down where tears are certainly streaming down Dick’s cheeks from under his mask. His lips are wobbling, and the second Jason kneels down to put his hand on Dick’s shoulder, a wounded sound escapes his lips.

“Dick?” Jason asks, his voice sounding shocked and unsure.

Dick looks up at Tim, looking one breath of the wind from falling apart. “You jumped after me?” His voice is small and brittle. When Tim nods slowly, Dick whimpers, dropping his head into his hands and letting out a sob. “You almost watched me die,” is all he says before he finally breaks down into mournful cries.

Jason looks up from where Dick’s now shaking and gasping into his hands and meets Tim’s eyes. Neither of them… has ever seen Dick get like this before. It feels wrong, like something in the world has shattered and can never be replaced.

“Lets… get him home,” Jason says, breaking the silence.

“Yeah,” is all Tim can smartly bring to his lips while Jason scoops Dick into his arms and stands up.

Dick’s so out of it with his sobbing that he hardly reacts, just curls against Jason and continues to cry.

“You know,” Jason says quietly, “the scariest way to die, for me, is to overdose.”

And Tim understands.

“I… see.”

Jason nods, swallowing hard. “Yeah. So let’s just call it a night, get him some Alfred cookies, and just… let him take this at his own pace, okay?”

Tim nods, knowing that after years of Dick always going out of his way to help them with their trauma, their issues, and never asking for anything in return… it’s now their turn to return the favor. Dick looks so much smaller than Tim swears he’s ever seen him, curled up in Jason’s arms, trembling and sobbing. He silently promises to himself that he will do whatever it takes to make sure Dick gets through this, just like what he’d do for them, always. And Tim’s positive the rest of Dick’s siblings will do the same.

[jackoshadows]

“We are not racist” yells the crowd after spending 3 seasons nitpicking and singling out Maria Deluca for anything she does. Literally

If she doesn’t get any writing and is sidelined - I don’t like her because she’s underdeveloped

If she gets writing and is central to the plot - Why is she taking away so much screentime from other characters.

Why this need to have other characters yell at her or show that she has flaws? She has flaws - you guys are pointing it out each episode. Kyle repeatedly castigates Maria for being single minded about finding out who is in the coffin.

The nitpicking of the writing for her, when pretty much every character on this show has problematic, bad writing.

Entire essays on why she is evil because she risked Max’s life jumping off a building. Meanwhile Alex knowing about Maria’s visions and absolutely not caring that any of his friends may die? Just bad writing.

Maria is the devil for being rude and dismissive towards Michael, but Alex being rude and dismissive towards Michael? Aww, poor baby is just trying to protect Michael, he’s stressed, the writing is bad, the writers are homophobic, Michael is being an ass.

The writers not spending time on Malex? Homophobia. The writers not spending time on Miluca, an inter-racial relationship? Miluca is trash, Michael doesn’t love Maria because COSMIC LOVE.

These writers are just not that good at writing characters, relationships or plot points. Even Echo has problematic elements with how Max allowed Liz and her family to be tormented for so many years. And if Rosa/Wyatt happens? Hell no! Makes no sense for Rosa as a character.

It’s a silly, entertaining CW show about aliens. But of all the characters, the hypocritical singling out of Maria is why the misogynoir in this fandom stands out. As others have pointed out Liz was sidelined last season for Michael and the whole Alex/Michael kidnapping plot towards the end. Where was all this outrage about Liz being sidelined then?

And quoting a Spoiler frigging TV review written by one you is not the validation you guys think it is. It’s Spoiler TV, not Alan Sepinwall.

The hate many of you have for even Heather Hemmens - not wanting her to direct, accusing her of influencing the story, being a bad actor. All the while thirsting over Blackburn.

And Blackburn’s lucky he is in a little known CW show and other mainstream indigenous actors don’t know of him. They have spoken up before in other cases like this both behind the camera and in front of it.

Like for the Yellowstone casting of a non-native American actor playing a main character.

Before the first season of Yellowstone began airing, Native American actor Adam Beach, best known for his roles in Windtalkers, Flags of Our Fathers and Suicide Squad, took to Instagram to criticize a particular casting decision. Over a picture of actress Kelsey Asbille he posted the words, "Failure of diversity. I'm asking my Native actors to stay away from this project."

https://www.looper.com/199689/the-truth-about-yellowstones-casting-controversy/

Of course, Beach is just one person. Buzzfeed published an article about the controversy which included interviews with other Native American actors and industry professionals who spoke to a diversity of opinions within the native community on people who possibly have Native American ancestry — but who did not grow up in a native community — playing native roles.

Joely Proudfit, Ph.D, who helps run a group that consults on Native American representation in media called The Native Networkers, said of the controversy, "I don't want to minimize this to one individual... That's the crumbs on the floor, not the cake on the table."

Actor and Chair of the SAG-AFTRA National Native Americans Committee DeLanna Studi pointed out that a huge part of the issue is the fact that Native American actors rarely get opportunities outside of the small number of native roles available at any given time. "If it was more of a level playing field — where our Native actors were being cast as leads in How to Get Away With Murder or Grey's Anatomy, where they can just be a human being — then there wouldn't be this need for us to be protective of the roles that are just for us."

Even the showrunners of the recent Reservation Dogs mentioned how most Hollywood casting agencies take the easy way out because they don’t want to reach out to the Reservations for actors. So if someone living in LA comes in saying that he is NA, naturally they are going to be eager to cast him, taking away from an actual NA actor. And that explains why Blackburn keeps getting these roles

And the fact that Blackburn’s not even apologized or acknowledged the impact of what he did? Terrible. But yeah, it’s Heather Hemmens who should not be allowed to direct because she plays a fictional character in scenes written and directed by someone else. GTFO.

[awhitehead17]

His Tiny Person

TimKon, Soulmates AU, Canon Divergence, Mini Soulmates, Humour, that “oh” moment, Realisation of feelings, Getting together.

Summary: "Kryptonian's have something called soulmates and every single Kryptonian has one. We know who our soulmates are because mini versions of them manifest to us. To begin with you won't recognise them, or even know their name, until you actually meet them in person. You will meet, you are destined to, but whether you get along or not is another story."

When Kon finds a tiny person hanging around him he's extremely confused but comes to adore him anyway. However its still a complete shock when Kon learns that he's known his soulmate for years and has just never realised it.

Also on AO3

Enjoy! :D  

No matter what anyone says, Kon believes that the freak out he has is very much warranted.

After getting out of the shower, Kon wrapped a towel around his waist before entering his bedroom and without any conscious thought he goes through his routine of getting ready for the day. The last thing he had expected to see was a tiny person perched on a pillow on his bed.

In all of his glory Kon let out a yell and scrambled backwards in surprise, his back quickly hits a wall which stops him from going anywhere. The tiny person on his bed openly stares at Kon and it feels like he’s being studied or even judged by him.

Kon stares back completely bewildered at the sight. There’s a tiny person on his bed. How did he get there? Who was he? Where did he come from? Is this some kind of prank?

“Conner, is everything alright?” Ma Kent’s voice could be heard calling him from downstairs. “We heard a yell.”

Still staring at the tiny person Kon tries to get himself together. He shuffles to his bedroom door, never taking his eyes off the person, and opens it. Over his shoulder he calls down to her. “Sorry Ma, I saw a spider. It caught me off guard that’s all. It’s all sorted now.”

“Okay dear if you’re sure. Breakfast is ready when you are.”

“Will be down in a bit, thank you.”

Kon quickly closes the door and debates on what to do. He takes a moment to observe the tiny person. The tiny person is a boy, he has messy black hair, two blue eyes, thin lips, a small body lean body covered by a red t-shirt and black sweatpants.

Kon has no idea what this is, however, weirdly enough he’s feeling a pull towards this tiny person. He can’t describe what it is but Kon feels kind of protective over him, like he wants to just wrap this tiny person up and hide him away from everything. The feeling is completely irrational because Kon knows absolutely nothing about what this could be.

The tiny person stands up and makes his way across Kon’s bed until he’s standing near the edge of it. Kon couldn’t help but find him adorable, he’s so small! He’s not much bigger than his hand in size comparison.

Kon approaches the bed carefully and crouches down so he's almost eye level with him. When they make eye contact the tiny person smiles brightly and Kon feels another pull inside of him, this time its sharp and releases a sense of warmth through him. His heart melts even more for this little thing.

“Hi, do you have name? Where did you come from?” Kon asks softly. The tiny person shakes his head and Kon frowns. “Oh okay. Well I’m Kon or Conner, its nice to meet you.”

“Conner your breakfast is getting cold!” Ma Kent’s voice comes from downstairs again and Kon knows he really should get going.

He turns back to the tiny person. Should he tell Ma Kent about this or not? How would the Kent’s react to this? Kon is still rather new to the whole family thing, he’s only recently moved in with them and is in fact still adjusting to life in Smallville, would this freak them out? Maybe he should work out what this person is doing here first before telling them anything.

With that in mind Kon sends him a small smile. “I’ve got to go have breakfast now, but once I’m done I can work out what to do with you.” He stands up and heads for the door but is stopped short when he hears a small thump.

Kon looks over to find the bed now void of the tiny person, initial panic rises up inside of him though it’s quickly diminished when he feels a tugging sensation on his jeans. Snapping his gaze down Kon finds the tiny person insistently tugging on his jeans with a panicked look on his face.

For unknown reasons, Kon’s heart breaks at the look. “Hey, I’m not leaving. I won’t be long, I promise.” The person shakes his head and without warning starts climbing up Kon’s leg, grabbing fists full of fabric to help him on his journey and he doesn’t stop climbing until he gets to the pocket and climbs inside.

Kon’s not entirely sure on what to do with the tiny person that’s now curled up inside his jeans pocket. Obviously he hadn’t wanted Kon to go, or perhaps it was more of a separation thing and had panicked when he thought Kon was leaving?

Running a hand through his hair Kon opts to leave it for the time being, he’ll work it out later on. As he once again moves towards the door, he hopes that the tiny person is comfortable enough in his pocket until he returns to his bedroom.

----

Throughout the next couple of weeks Kon learns a lot about the tiny person.

He comes to notice that he has his own personality, he has his own quirks and things he likes and dislikes. While he doesn’t speak, the tiny person makes sure his opinion is heard. He likes to train and work out and he’s wickedly smart. He also loves to be held in Kon’s palm and to have his hair stroked.

Through some misunderstandings, Kon comes to realise he actually needs to feed this tiny person, he also needs to regularly clean him, exhaustion and not sleeping enough is certainly a thing, injuries too. The first time this tiny person hurt himself Kon almost had a heart attack in concern and panic.

It’s literally like he’s looking after another human being, only this human is super tiny and can easily fit into his pocket.

Despite all of this he still hasn’t worked out how this tiny person came to be. Anything he’s looked into has come to a dead end, he’s even explored scientific possibilities but it’s all come up empty handed. He’s still completely perplexed on this person’s existence.

When an unfortunate event occurred, Kon became aware that he can’t be too far away from this tiny person either, only because the distance causes them both physical pain. That alone makes Kon believe there’s more to this whole thing, he doesn’t know what it could be but there’s definitely something.

Other than that Kon really adores him. He’s gotten used to his presence now and how he happens to be there in Kon’s everyday life. It frightens him to no ends when a mission comes up or if Kon engages in a brutal battle because he could get hurt. Nonetheless the tiny person is always there for him, its like he’s got his own cheerleader.

A few weeks after the tiny person appears, Kon is meeting with Clark on the farm to catch up. Since the man had finally accepted him as a person and has even named him as part of the family, Clark’s been trying to put effort into getting to know him. Kon appreciates the effort and knows that their relationship is slowly healing.

When Clark arrives they settle onto one of the benches outside with some food Ma Kent had baked and were generally catching up. However Kon’s focus on the man’s words instantly die when movement in his peripheral catches his attention.  

Kon glances down at the ground and freezes when he spots a small woman walking around within the grass looking completely at ease observing everything around her.

“Kon?”

Blinking Kon averts his attention away from the woman and back to Clark who is now frowning at him. How long had Kon not been listening for? Instead of saying anything Clark looks in the direction Kon had been and confusion crosses his face.

“What is it Kon?”

Kon waves a hand in the direction of the small woman. “Do you not see that? There’s a tiny person in the grass Clark!”

The man continues to stare at Kon like he's crazy. It makes Kon feel insecure. He wasn’t imaging this right? He’s got his own little dude hanging around him for weeks and now there’s a small woman too.

“Yeah… that’s Mini-Louis.” Clark says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Mini-Louis? As in your wife Louis?” Kon asks sceptically.

Clark pulls a face, clearly not understanding his confusion. “Yes Kon. My wife. She is my soulmate, therefore I have a Mini-Louis around me.”

Kon has no idea on what to say to that because what?

Realisation crosses Clark’s expression. He pulls back a bit, seeming surprised. “You don’t know about it?”

“About what Clark? What the hell are you on about?” Kon snaps.

Clark takes a deep breath and leans forward on the table using his elbows to prop himself up. “I’m sorry it must have completely slipped my mind. We as Kryptonian's have something called soulmates. Every single Kryptonian has one. We know who our soulmates are because mini versions of them manifest to us and these mini versions are attached to our souls. Once we finally meet our soulmate in person the bond between us is solidified.”

Kon blinks trying to digest that information. Soulmates. Soulmates are an actual thing and they appear in the form of tiny versions of themselves. Kon’s tiny person is in fact his soulmate. But he doesn’t know who his soulmate is, he doesn’t recognise him!

“Has your soulmate manifested Kon?” Clark questions after a long drawn out silence.

Instead of answering Kon carefully reaches into his jacket’s pocket and scoops up his tiny person. He’s been sleeping this entire time and Kon feels bad for moving and waking him up but he gently does so and places him on the table in front of him.

His tiny person looks disorientated for a moment. He sits down on the table, yawns and rubs his eyes with his fists as he wakes up. Once he notices where he is he looks alerted and sends Kon a panicked look. Kon reaches out a strokes a finger down his face. “It’s okay buddy, you’re safe. No one is going to hurt you. I’m finally learning about you properly.”

Kon glances up to find Clark watching him with warm eyes and a soft smile. Kon raises an eyebrow. “What? If you say this is my soulmate it would certainly explain why I’m protective over him. But why didn’t you tell me sooner? I don’t recognise this person, doesn’t soulmates work after you meet the one or something?”

“With Kryptonian’s, your mini-soulmate manifests when the younger one of the pair comes of age. Your situation is slightly different, thinking about it I could guess that your soulmate appeared once you were named as you were already of age.”

Kon nods to the explanation. He’s slowly understanding it. He’s still feels conflicted about it, like he’s afraid of the idea of it but he's also open to it…

“The idea is that you don’t recognise them, or even know their name, until you actually meet them in person. You will meet, you are destined to, but whether you get along or not is another story. You’re soulmates, but that bond can be either platonic, romantic, or even in some rare cases it’s a hatred bond. By the looks of it, yours is either a platonic or a romantic bond.”

Kon sighs, he guesses that’s better than it being a hatred soulmate bond. He thinks he gets on rather well with his little dude.

“As frustrating as this will sound, the main thing I can say is that only time will tell. When you meet your soulmate you’ll recognise them and then how your relationship with him progresses will depend on the two of you.”

After that they change topic of conversation, leaning more into Kryptonian heritage and ways of life as well as different battle strategies Kon could be using with his team. Meanwhile as they talk, Kon’s mini-soulmate joins Mini-Louis in exploring the wildlife together.

-----

It turns out Kon has already met his soulmate. In fact it turns out he’s best friends with his soulmate. He’s known him for a couple years.

It turns out his soulmate is Robin and he’s only finding that out now.

Young Justice, or rather the newly formed Titans, are gathered together and spending the weekend at the Tower. They were about to start their movie night when Robin tells them he has an announcement to make.

In line with their new team development he wants to clear the air and start fresh, hoping they would all forgive him for certain things in the past. Robin takes his mask off and gives them his real name.

As Kon meets Robin’s – Tim’s – eyes his heart stops. Without the mask obstructing the top half of Robin’s face, Kon clearly sees the same face that his mini-soulmate has.

Robin is his soulmate. How has he never made that connection before? The resemblance is uncanny, he’s literally been carrying around a Mini-Robin for 6 months.

He’s been on a team with Robin for a couple of years now. When he first escaped Cadmus, him, Bart and Robin made a trio team and over time the others had joined them, therefore creating Young Justice. A couple years later here they are joining the Titans and Robin is finally sharing his identity with them.

To begin with he and Robin never got on, they were always at each other’s throats and never saw eye to eye but as time went on they both mellowed out and come to accept the others presence. Their friendship became stronger as they both matured over time. Kon had moved to Smallville and began to really learn what life is about, how there’s a life outside of superheroing, while Robin had moulded the legacy he carries into his own and has found the confidence to become his own person rather than trying to be someone else.

Either way, he immediately recognises Robin’s – or Tim’s – face and not because apparently he’s famous but actually because Tim’s face is the one his mini-soulmate wears. There’s no mistaking it.

His mini-soulmate is currently hidden from view inside his jacket pocket but Kon could easily feel the excitement rolling off the tiny person, he’s practically buzzing with energy. Knowing he’s going to have to try and restrain his mini from doing anything rash, Kon brushes his telekinesis over him in attempts to calm him down.

At Tim’s announcement there’s a loud explosion from the group which lasts for some time until everyone calms down enough to settle so they can watch the films they have lined up. No matter what they put on, Kon couldn’t focus on any of them. His mind is too occupied with the thoughts of Robin being his soulmate and what that could mean.

He begins questioning his entire friendship with the bat vigilante. Reflecting on everything from the moment they met to now.

What kind of feelings does he actually have for his friend? He cares for him, they trust one another (the whole ID thing was a different matter despite how many arguments there have been on that topic) and Kon can’t imagine his life without Tim in it. Even back when he loathed him Kon wouldn’t have imagine Robin not being there.

They balance one another out. Where Kon is reckless and is hot headed, Robin thinks things through and plans accordingly. Where Robin is uptight and too hard on himself, Kon is freewheeling and helps him to relax and unwind.

When he’s with Tim he wants his friend to be happy, he wants him to feel safe and protected. When things get too much Kon reminds Robin he’s there to talk to if he needs it. When Kon’s felt overwhelmed by his powers Tim is the one he turns to because he helps Kon to understand them without making it feel like he’s being judged. There’s been numerous of nights where they’ve sat together in silent company, both of them wanting to be alone but not at the same time.

Kon thinks about his smile and his laugh when he’s genuinely happy and not wearing that stupid asshole persona. He think about how when he gets invested in something he would passionately defend it. How there’s a shy and genuine guy behind that mask despite all the confidence Robin plasters on in front of them all. He recalls when Robin would walk into a room and how Kon’s mood would improve significantly for no reason.

Well shit… there’s a lot more feelings towards Robin than he ever realised. Is this still platonic though or is it the start of something romantic? Can Kon even imagine what it would be like to be romantically involved with Tim? To hold his hand, to cuddle, to kiss and then maybe more, to be seen in public with him, to lean on one another without fear…

Kon’s heart misses a beat when he realises that yes he can imagine all that. Now he knows Tim’s name and knows what he really looks like, Kon can see himself doing those things with Tim and even getting to know him better than what’s slipped through his persona over the years.

Tim is his soulmate, they’re bound to each other in some way. Why hadn’t he ever seen it before?

What is Tim’s opinion on all of this? Kon’s mind suddenly goes into overdrive when it clicks that since Tim is his soulmate, he has a Mini-Tim with him at all times, then that means Tim would have a mini-him.

“on? Conner! Kon!”

A sharp stinging sensation gets his attention and Kon blinks, his thoughts finally residing for now. Kon looks around to find everyone in the room staring at him with concern and how Robin is standing in front of him with worry etched all over his face.

“Are you okay? You completely spaced out on us.”

Kon swallows thickly and sends Tim, and everyone else, a tight smile. “Yeah, yeah. Sorry just got lost in my thoughts.”

Tim doesn’t look convinced and now that his mask is no longer on Kon could clearly see his expressions. Despite only seeing Tim’s face for the first time moments ago, Kon can already read his facial expressions because they happen to be the exact same ones Mini-Tim wears.

Kon reaches out and pushes Tim away from him to create room so he can stand up. “Seriously I’m fine. It’s just been a long week that’s all. I’m actually going to head to bed, I’ll see you all in the morning.”

Without looking at anyone Kon flees the room, trying to get out of there as fast as possible. He doesn’t stop moving until he gets to his assigned room where he promptly barges in and slams the door shut behind him. Unable to stand still Kon begins pacing the length of the room, his mind back to working on overdrive.

Its only when something starts moving against him that he breaks out of the cycle. Kon stops in the middle of his room and gently scoops out his mini-soulmate. From the centre of his palm, Mini-Robin looks up at him and scowls. Kon winces in both guilt and embarrassment.

He places his min-soulmate onto his dresser and instantly Mini-Tim turns his back on Kon and crosses his arms over his chest. Kon frowns feeling terrible, he didn’t mean to make him upset or angry. He can’t help that he's a little incompetent when it comes to these sort of things.

Kon goes back to his pacing, now talking to his mini as he does so. “I’m sorry okay. I didn’t realise, all of this time and you’ve actually been in front of me. How many missions have we been on, how many rooms have we been in together, how many hours have we spent in close proximity of one another? After all of that its only now I’m figuring it out!”

He glances over to find that Mini-Tim is still ignoring him. Kon huffs. “Well it’s not like it’s entirely my fault! Robin is as much as to blame as I am. At least I have an excuse, I didn’t know it was him because he had half of his face covered all the time. What about him? He’s probably had a mini-me this whole time and has never approached me about the topic, it’s not like I’ve gone incognito.”

When he stops talking the silence in the room stretches out. Even though its only Kon and his mini-soulmate Kon could easily feel the tension between them. He doesn’t like feeling like this, especially with his little counterpart.

Sighing heavily, Kon shuffles over to the dresser where Mini-Tim is still standing and leans in closely. “Please don’t be annoyed. It’s a shitty situation and my emotions are everywhere. The last thing I need is for you to be annoyed at me too…”

When Mini-Tim continues to ignore him Kon frowns and carefully reaches out to him with his TTK. He gently prods his mini-soulmate, trying to encourage him to loosen up and even look at him again.

Eventually his insistence must work because Mini-Tim turns around and stares up at him with wide-eyes and a pout on his face. Kon pulls back his power and reaches out to brush a finger along his tiny cheek.

“I’m sorry,” Kon whispers softly, “I’ll sort things out, I promise but it may take some time.” The wide-eyes and pout soon turns into a glare without heat and a pointed look. Kon understands his message though. “I will talk to him, soon okay. Just not yet, I need to get my thoughts in order first.”

A knock on his bedroom door breaks his attention away from his mini-soulmate. Kon sighs and is reluctant to open the door, fearing what’s on the other side of it. When a second knock happens, Kon forces himself to walk over to the door and pull it open.

As feared, Tim stands there in the corridor looking worried and lost in thought. He notices that Kon has opened the door and snaps back to attention. “Uh hey.”

“Hey.”

“Can we talk?” Tim asks sounding unsure.

Kon sends him a tight smile. “Yeah.”

Tim enters his bedroom and Kon closes the door behind him. There's a pause between them before Tim turns around to face him wearing contemplative expression. “Your behaviour isn’t about my name and face is it?”

It sounds like he already knows the answer to that but Kon humours him by answering anyway. “No. No it isn’t, well, not the main part of it at least.” He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. How was he supposed to talk to Robin that he's his soulmate? How was he going to explain that for the last 6 months he’s been carrying around a tiny version of him but didn’t know because he never made the connection until today?

In the end he shakes his head, he’s probably way over thinking this too much. Maybe he shouldn’t use words, perhaps using actions is the way to go?

Kon moves around the room and goes back over to the dresser, when he leans in close he finds Mini-Tim hiding away behind a deodorant spray. He lifts his hand with his palm facing upwards and waits to see if his mini takes the invitation. Mini-Tim stares at him suspiciously for a moment before coming out of his hiding spot and climbing onto his hand.

Kon carefully turns around and shows Tim his mini for the first time. Surprisingly yet unsurprisingly, Tim doesn’t look shocked. His eyes widen but that’s the only reaction Kon gets. Tim wordlessly reaches down into his jacket pocket and brings something out of it, Kon could only gasp when he sees a mini version of himself on Tim’s palm.

Before he or Tim could react their mini-soulmates both make an excited sound. Mini-Kon jumps up from Tim’s palm and flies straight for Mini-Tim. In return Mini-Tim jumps up with his hands stretched out and grasps onto Mini-Kon when they collide together. Mini-Kon carries them around for a moment before they land on the bed and separate. They use their little arms and legs to wildly gesture to one another about something lost to both Kon and Tim. It’s rather adorable to watch.

“I think that answers a few questions does it not?” Tim says amusedly watching the minis with a smile.

Kon huffs. “Some of them yeah. Look dude there’s a lot to explain about this, I get you must be super confused about how a tiny version of myself just suddenly appeared one day and I understand that -”

“I’m going to stop you there Kon.” Tim says firmly raising a hand up in a stopping motion, he’s now looking at him. “I know a lot more than what you think I do. I know what this is and what it could mean. If anything I’m the one that should explain some things to you, like why didn’t I tell you sooner for example.”

Feeling rather overwhelmed Kon shakes his head and moves to sit down in his desk chair.

Tim takes it as an opportunity to keep talking. “We’ve always had a strange relationship Kon. From the moment we met until now it’s been odd, but quite frankly there’s not a thing I would change. I know those minis represent that we’re soulmates. I have to admit I was rather confused when you appeared tiny in my bathroom 6 months ago, to begin with I thought you had shrunk or something but there was something telling me there was more to it than that.

I got my answer about a month later when I ran into Louis, she had been at the Manor talking to Bruce when I saw she had a tiny Clark riding on her shoulder. After a conversation she explained that her and Clark were soulmates, it’s all to do with because he’s a Kryptonian. Of course then it made more sense.

The reason why I never approached you about it is because I didn’t know what to do. I knew it was you, it’s kind of hard not to tell y’know,” Tim sends him a knowing smirk at that comment, “but since you never said anything about it I figured you didn’t know it was me. It’s only then that it clicked that I still hadn’t revealed my face or even shared my name with you.

It wasn’t my choice not to tell you, you know that, it had been Batman’s orders. For months I debated on what to do, even going as far as arguing with Batman to share my ID at least with you. In the end Batman gave in but only after I explained why I was so insistent about it. And well, here we are.”

Tim trails off into silence and he’s looking expectantly at Kon, waiting for him to respond to his side of the story. Kon could only blink at him and repeat his story in his mind. The minis are currently sat together side by side on the edge of the bed’s footboard, they were holding hands and swinging their legs together as they share a smile.

As much as Kon would like to be frustrated at Tim for what he did, he knows he really couldn’t be. Its not his fault that Batman put him in an awkward position. Kon rationalises in his mind that’s its all done and over with now, he can’t change it but from here they can at least go forward.

He glances up at Tim. “So what do we do from here? How would you like to go forward? Also I’m sorry that I put you in this position. It was as much as a shock to me as it probably was to you.”

Tim glares at him. “Don’t apologise Kon. It’s not like you had a choice in the matter and you know what, I’m glad its you.”

That gets Kon’s attention. He stares at his best friend wondering if he heard right. “What?”

The sigh Tim lets out sounds almost resigned. “Why would I be bothered by it? You’re my best friend Kon, of course I don’t mind being soulmates with you. I know we’ve had one heck of a bumpy road in the past but we’re here now aren’t we.”

Kon grins, unable to deny what Tim had just said. He looks back up, taking in how Tim’s eyes are focused on him, how they seem to shine when the light hits them, he takes in Tim’s relaxed posture and how at ease he appears to be.

A sudden urge washes over Kon and all he wants to do is crush Tim in a hug and kiss him. He has no idea when he started thinking about Tim in that way but he finds that he doesn’t actually mind. It’s just the case of whether Tim returns them or not.

Kon stands up and steps towards Tim, standing so close to him that he could feel the others heat. “So how do you want to go forward with this? When Clark told me about soulmates, he said there are platonic, romantic and hating bonds. Is there a certain type you want to be?”

Kon wants to smack himself in the face for how bad that sounds. What the fuck is he on about. Thankfully Tim seems more amused than anything else. A glance to the side shows both minis exaggerating an eye roll each, Kon opts to ignore them.

Tim steps closer, finally pushing their chests together, he has to tilt his head up while Kon looks down to make eye contact with one another. “I don’t know… I mean to be honest if I had to say one surely it would be the hatred bond? I can’t stand you, you know? You get on my nerves too much.”

Kon snorts and shakes his head. “Maybe once upon a time. Anyway you’re just as bad, you and that neurotic brain of yours.”

They both grin at that, shaking their heads at the ridiculous turn in the conversation. Opposite him Tim opens his mouth again but this time Kon decides to cut to the chase. He ducks his head and presses his lips against Tim’s. There’s a pause on Tim’s side but after a second he’s responding to Kon and pushing back against his lips.

Some sort of spark passes between them and suddenly it’s like something inside of him has clicked into place and now he feels complete.

He presses against Tim even more and wraps his arms around him, keeping them pressed closely together. Tim goes with the movement, reaching up to wrap his arms around Kon’s neck and even buries a hand in his hair.

When they part the two of them are sharing wide smiles. Kon huffs out a laugh and rests his forehead against Tim’s.

The only thing that pulls Kon away from Tim is a light slapping against his neck. He pulls back and looks to the side to find Mini-Tim now standing on his shoulder trying to get his attention. Opposite him, Mini-Kon is floating next to Tim’s cheek also getting his attention.

Tim and Kon take a step away from each other to look at their minis. Mini-Tim is grinning wildly and Kon could just feel the excitement and warmth radiating off from him. Kon smiles back softly and reaches up to stroke a finger along Mini-Tim’s cheek, even poking his stomach for fun. It’s a pleasant contrast compared to what he was like a little while ago.

Kon turns back to Tim. “So, um, now that a few things are out the way, can I ask you out on a date? Lets give this a try?”

Tim gently nudges Mini-Kon away to stop him from prodding his cheek, he looks at Kon and nods. “Just text me the time and place and we’ll be there.”

It takes a moment but Kon quickly catches on that he means him and Mini-Kon. Of course, duh, if they’re going to be dating then by extension so are the mini versions of themselves. It probably should be weird but Kon finds that he doesn’t mind, in fact its cute and the fact that Tim doesn’t seem to mind either makes it better. He’s looking forward to the near future and what it could bring for him and Tim and their mini-soulmates.

[soulmate-game]

Okay, so here’s the story. Let’s rewind to 2010/2011. (Actually, it might be closer to 2008... you get the point) I’m a seventh grader in middle school, that’s the important part. And up until this point, I was pretty heavily bullied in middle school. My entire science class once yelled profanities and called me names all at the same time, when we had a substitute once. Like, I went through the whole fake friendship narrative, people calling me ugly at every available moment, people trying to frame me, etc etc.

BUT! I was also somehow that one person that everyone knew. Sometimes the rest of the school, no matter what grade level they were in, knew things that happened to me or things that were said to me almost before I did. It seemed like everyone was constantly aware of my whole life, it was kind creepy ngl. People would, on a weekly basis or more, walk down the hallway and say, “hey (my name)” and wave. I almost never knew who those people were, they were usually in a different grade and I hardly ever shared any classes with them. It was really confusing.

Well, by the time seventh grade came I was absolutely boiling for revenge. I was never a physical fighter, especially considering that it seemed the whole school was against me, so I was on the lookout for anything I could do to ruin the day for my emotional abusers. And then it happened.

I was in GT (the gifted and talented class— don’t be fooled, it was basically just theater kids. The majority of the test to get into GT was creativity based) and we were working on some project or another. I think we were in the middle of trying to make functional chairs out of nothing but old cardboard boxes and hot glue. And one of my friends let’s it slip that the golf club she was in was doing a fundraiser, but their sales were low as hell and they were scared they wouldn’t make enough to afford their supplies for the season. Considering the golf club was less than ten people, that was an issue. So I, always willing to help and always the person people oddly enough went to for pseudo-marketing help, I waltzed over and asked for details. The club was apparently selling beanies with the school logo on them (the logo is a hawk in flight) but nobody paid attention to their fliers.

First, I knew that anybody who legit wanted a beanie with the school hawk on it were not gonna be the ones that looked at fliers. All of my fellow beanie lovers were the sort that stared straight at the floor the entire time we walked through the halls. So I got the info for the golf club and got permission from their club supervisor to brainstorm ideas. They almost immediately approved my idea of making a sales jingle, a little song, to help sales. I spent a good hour, just an hour, thinking up the catchiest, corniest, yet professional-sounding thirty second jingle I possibly could. To make things worse (better, way better) I based it off of a KidzBop rendition of a song on purpose. Add that cringe factor, ya know?

And I went straight to the vice principle. This dude would bend the school rules for me, and I have no Fucking idea why. But damn if I wasn’t gonna make use of it for my revenge. I showed him the written lyrics for my jingle, and explained my heart-wrenching story about just wanting to help my friend and her club be able to afford their golf clubs and supplies. I felt so bad that such a small club wasn’t getting any attention or support, etc etc. He ate it all up. He asked me how I planned to share the jingle so that the sales could go up, and this is when I struck: I asked for permission to sing it in my classes first to see how people responded to it. He agreed, and offered for me to use the cafeteria stage if all went well.

Let me back up: in my middle school, there was an iron clad rule. Before the bell for the first classes rang, everyone in sixth grade and everyone eating breakfast HAD to stay in the cafeteria. No exceptions. If you were in seventh or eighth grade, you could go to the library or the back courtyard to wait for the bell to ring, or the computer lab, but that was it. So every single day, there was at least 800 captive kids in the cafeteria who either couldn’t leave because they were sixth graders, or because they were busy eating. My school had 2000+ kids, so this was a good number for me. On a good day, I might even have half of the school quite literally trapped in the cafeteria as my captive audience.

So I sang the jingle in my science class first. Yes, the same class that just a few weeks earlier had all yelled profanities at me as one horrible, toxic group. They laughed and teased me as much as they could get away with in front of our awesome teacher, but this time I felt no shame and I was not at all discouraged. They didn’t even suspect the fact that singing it to them first was just a warning; a taste of the Hell to come. Several people commented (away from the teacher’s hearing) that I sucked at singing and shouldn’t do it again. Honestly, that was exactly what I wanted to hear. I just smiled fake-apologetically and said I would try better next time.

But my science teacher loved it, she was completely supportive of me and said that the sales jingle was a great idea to sell beanies. She loved how supportive I was of our school’s smallest club, etc etc. which was honestly all I needed; that day, I went straight to the vice principle with the good news. My teachers loved the song and thought it was a great idea to help the fundraiser. Later, back in GT, I told my friend the good news and asked her to print me as many of her sales fliers as she could. I would hand them out when I launched my big plan the next day. She was excited and thanked me profusely, and we got the all-clear from our GT teachers to spend the rest of the class printing and cutting out a good 200-ish fliers so that everyone knew what colors the beanies came in, where to buy, and how much they were.

The next day, the vice principle gave me full access to the cafeteria stage before the first bell rang, and a fully functional microphone. You better fucking bet I got the attention of every last one of the 800+ captives there, and sang my jingle at full belt for everyone. At first, people shrugged it off and laughed and playfully covered their ears.

But then they noticed I was there again the very next morning. And I sang the jingle again, over the microphone. Everyone was noticeably a little less entertained by this point. But I didn’t stop there— oh hell no. Every morning for the rest of that week, I got up on the stage and horribly sang my sales jingle to all of the captive kids. Some of them started yelling for me to please not sing again by the third day, to which I ignored gleefully. People started trying to bribe me in the hallways to please, please not sing again the next morning.

I had never felt so powerful before in my life. It was amazing.

On the last day of the fundraiser, the vice principle asked me and two of my friends to sing the jingle again— over the intercom during morning announcements, when literally nobody in the whole school could avoid hearing it. I was absolutely ecstatic because I hadn’t even considered that as a possibility. So we were able to end my reign of terror with one last song when everyone thought they were safe, but literally couldn’t escape it. It was even better because my friends and I hadn’t rehearsed for even a second, so we were all out of pace and not in tune and it was gloriously bad.

My friend ran up to me later that day with the biggest smile ever on her face, and told me that someone had literally donated $200 to the club, not even wanting a beanie, just asking that we stop singing the damn song. By then, she had caught on to my plan and kept thanking me for purposely annoying the hell out of people so that they donated. I think they ended up making somewhere around a $1,000 in sales along with a few smaller “stop singing” donations.

For the rest of that year and even the year after, all I had to do to get people to leave me the fuck alone was start singing the jingle. Anyone who had attended the school in time to hear it immediately covered their ears and ran away, or shut up immediately. I got random ass people I never met calling me by name in the hallways complaining about how my song was still stuck in their head literal weeks later, and they couldn’t even intimidate or properly threaten me because I just started singing the song and they were gone faster than I could say “what are you gonna do about it?”

this is revenge. And I have never been more proud of myself.

[mittensmorgul]

As Above, So Below

I’m still trying to pinpoint exactly why the focus on “heaven is fixed and actually a paradise now!” is just so deeply unsatisfying to me. And I think I need to preface this with a bit of backstory about me, because I think that gives the rest of this essay some relevant context.

I know this isn’t relevant to my main point here, but this is a metatextual and thematically identical example of the exact thing I’m gonna lay out, because context is always helpful. So please forgive this seemingly irrelevant detour, because I promise it will be relevant by the end.

(plus, would it really be an Essay By Mittens™ without at least one baffling tangent? no, it would not!)

Tangent time!

I think everyone that follows me knows how skeptical I was... or should I say how WARY I was of the way Eileen was returned to the narrative this season. We were warned in the PREVIOUS EPISODE how much Chuck was attempting to interfere in their lives. I was accused of some very nasty things, of hating the ship, or hating the character of Eileen, or of hating Sam and not wanting them to be happy. No amount of pointing at obvious warning signs in the text, no amount of yelling about Sam’s God Wound or the absolute klaxon warning that the wound had become “quiet” and his Chuck-O-Vision Nightmares had apparently stopped seemed to matter. I was declared “wrong” and told to shut up.

And then 15.09 happened, and basically everything I’d been wary of was shown to be what actually happened, but there were still unresolved issues. Eileen doubted her own feelings and walked away. She doubted what was actually real. And at the time, I said many times that I would be thrilled to see those issues resolved by the end of the season, and for her to truly know that what she’d felt growing between her and Sam was real. And by the end of the season, despite my personal horror at her previous situation (and having that personal horror compounded by the fandom literally gaslighting me and attempting to bully me into ignoring this basic actual plot detail of this specific growth process which... in the context of what my personal objection was to accepting her return at face value in the first place having been personal trauma associated with gaslighting and manipulation...) by the time 15.18 aired, I was 100% convinced that Sam and Eileen had fully chosen each other, and felt the traumatic pain Sam suffered during that text conversation with her during the snap. She NEEDED to come back, because she had been set up to be part of Sam’s Win. They were clearly each other’s future.

The show literally put in all the work to make even *me* feel this to be True and Right and Good. And then after that point we never even hear Eileen’s name again. We never were told that she was even returned at the end of 15.19. Sam, who had been so entirely devastated by her disappearance in the previous episode that he couldn’t even process it was apparently hit with an amnesia hammer and just... never even thought about her again through a long greyscale life with a blurry baby Dean factory vaguely in the background of a single scene of his life. I can’t credit or justify how after an entire year invested in making us all truly care about Sam and Eileen and the happiness they found in each other if only the cosmos would allow them to choose each other in the end would just... erase all of that in the series finale.

Which brings me to the second tangent, which is specifically about *me,* and how I feel about the cosmic order in the television show Supernatural. Because I feel a lot about it. Probably more than most people ever did. And this is also important to understanding the main underlying point I need to make here.

Something I’ve been most looking forward to, for YEARS, about Supernatural eventually ending someday was writing a book, or a thesis, or even just organizing and compiling all my observations into a cohesive narrative specifically about the cosmology of the Supernatural universe. I’ve been cobbling together my observations and realizations about the nature of heaven, hell, purgatory, the empty, the alternate universes we’ve seen, and yes, even the cosmic function of the mundane level of the story as told by events that transpired on Earth. So of everyone watching this dumb show for the last 15 years, I don’t actually know anyone who cared more that I did about finding a satisfactory resolution and transformation of every plane of existence-- the mortal world AND the “afterlife realms” we’ve experienced on this show. And in the wake of the finale, I feel cheated out of that. Because in the end, it wasn’t about the triumph of free will and a flip of the script, it was just more of the same.

And now that I have those two preliminaries out of the way, I’ll finally get to the point. :’D

(hooray, it didn’t even take 1k words to get there for once!)

The “main stage” of Supernatural has always been Earth. It’s always been “Humanity.” At the very start, we meet two men whose lives had always been dictated to them by higher powers. At first, that “higher power” was their father who raised them in his vengeance mission, who trained them to hunt the supernatural. It was the inciting incident of the entire series, after all, their realization that forces outside of their control had irrevocably altered the course of their lives. It had forever torn down what they’d trusted in family, in personal safety, and would become something they couldn’t outrun or fight back against for long before another wave of cosmic discord would settle over them once more.

We watched this story play out in ever increasing spheres of cosmic significance, until Gabriel laid it out on the table for them in the simplest possible terms (in 5.08).

GABRIEL: You do not know my family. What you guys call the apocalypse, I used to call Sunday dinner. That's why there's no stopping this, because this isn't about a war. It's about two brothers that loved each other and betrayed each other. You'd think you'd be able to relate. SAM: What are you talking about? GABRIEL: You sorry sons of bitches. Why do you think you two are the vessels? Think about it. Michael, the big brother, loyal to an absent father, and Lucifer, the little brother, rebellious of Daddy's plan. You were born to this, boys. It's your destiny! It was always you! As it is in heaven, so it must be on earth. One brother has to kill the other. DEAN: What the hell are you saying? GABRIEL: Why do you think I've always taken such an interest in you? Because from the moment Dad flipped on the lights around here, we knew it was all gonna end with you. Always. A long pause. SAM and DEAN look down, then at each other. DEAN: No. That's not gonna happen. GABRIEL: I'm sorry. But it is. GABRIEL sighs. GABRIEL: Guys. I wish this were a TV show. Easy answers, endings wrapped up in a bow...but this is real, and it's gonna end bloody for all of us. That's just how it's gotta be. ***

And isn’t that all even 1000x more painfully ironic that it all still happened even 10 years later? It was always going to end with them. And lol, “I wish this were a TV show” because if it was then it wouldn’t have to end bloody.

But this… was a Major Acknowledgement that the meta level of this story was consistent, and was telling us something important. It demonstrated that the Cosmic Structure Itself was the cause for Sam and Dean’s “destiny” in this story. But that’s not what the point of this story has ever been.

Nobody (including me, who is literally obsessed with this aspect of the story) has ever invested themselves in the narrative of Supernatural because they cared about the fate of the cosmic order over and above the fate of the characters who had committed to overthrowing it all, to “tearing up the pages” and writing their own destinies. I mean, we became invested because Sam, Dean, and Cas as characters took us by the hand and invited us to come along with them as they battled against fate for the good of EARTH and HUMANITY.

And certainly, Heaven being a horrific sort of eternal replay of the “highlights” of individual souls greatest hits, where free will didn’t apply as everyone was just boxed away into their individual holodecks to serve as some sort of giant Heaven Battery powering the furtherance of this narrative, this “cosmic order” that had become so powerful it dictated the events and manipulated the lives of people who still existed in the ostensible realm of free will and human life on Earth… that couldn’t stand in the end. But what the narrative (and people I’ve seen attempting to justify the finale as narratively sensible) seems to have forgotten was that all of that was Chuck’s construct to begin with. That without Chuck holding his kingdom in Heaven together, the walls of all those soul cubicles ceased to even be relevant.

After spending their entire lives to this point constantly fighting their way to the absolute pinnacle of the As Above, So Below narrative and pulling the plug on the original creator himself, Humanity should’ve triumphed. And I’d argue that it DID, through Jack restoring the missing essential “humanity” to the divine condition. And, silly me, I thought they’d achieved the promise of “paradise” heralded by Jack’s birth at last, and truly “flipped the entire script of the narrative.”

Ever since they thwarted the original apocalypse, I had hope that they would continue to achieve the same result right up the ladder. Metatron trying to fill the role of Chuck Junior hit his own narrative wall in TFW, while Dean’s battle with the Mark of Cain, and Cain telling him he was “living my life in reverse” and would succumb to destiny by killing his loved ones in the “reverse order” to Cain’s own path to downfall cemented this for me. Dean not only failed to kill any of his loved ones (you didn’t kill your own brother. why?), he SAVED them. He didn’t fulfil the prophecy in reverse, he subverted it. He UNMADE it.

Perhaps I was thinking on too grand a scale, that the ultimate inversion wouldn’t be “God is overthrown and replaced by more of the same,” but “God is overthrown and the entire order of the universe is restructured from the bottom up rather than the top down.

I’d hoped against hope that the conclusion of the narrative would be “As below, so above,” with the fundamental power of human love becoming the new foundation of the cosmic order. It never even occurred to me that “taking back the narrative to rewrite it for ourselves” was not the ultimate goal of Team Free Will, or the ultimate expression of their biggest win.

This whole “well heaven really needed to be rebuilt, there was still work to be done!” seems… irrelevant to me if they’d truly won free of the cosmic narrative. The entire structure of the universe-- including Heaven and Hell-- should’ve defaulted to the paradise state that Jack was literally born to bring to fruition. Wasn’t that the point of his entire role in the story, ultimately?

And if that wasn’t the case in the end, why did we never learn the fate of Hell? Was it just… irrelevant and unchanged after this? Or just… abandoned as a concept entirely? It’s just strange to me to put such a focus on heaven being the sole sphere of import in the end that it undercuts the essential humanity of the narrative for me.

The story itself had kept Heaven on a back burner for years, only occasionally mentioning that the structure of the place was falling further and further into disrepair with a dwindling force of angels struggling to keep the walls in place at all, that it seems like it could’ve been an afterthought at the end of the series rather than a focus so large it required the death of both main characters to make sure we all understood that Heaven Had Changed Now. Because TFW had never been fighting to make Heaven right. They’d been fighting to save the world itself, for humanity to all have a chance to live their lives as their own.

And we didn’t need to see that in the final hope they might get their own lives on Earth to explore. In the end, the fundamental narrative that Life On Earth was dictated by the cosmic structure of creation was never fully subverted. And for me, that’s the main reason I just… can’t accept the finale. It wasn’t a victory of free will and humanity, in the end it was just more of the same.

I appreciate the attempts to take the essential bones of the story we did get and apply a different polish to the surface of the skeleton, but to me it still feels like we’re looking at completely different beasts in the end. Like… to me this was as jarring a revelation as those drawing of modern animals reimagined as dinosaurs entirely based on their skeletons. Like, all along the narrative told me I was looking at a swan. They told me this skeleton they’re building out from is definitely a swan, without a doubt.  I know what a swan looks like-- a graceful feather-covered bird with magnificent wings. I trusted that in the end it would be at least remotely swan-looking. And then the finale ended up looking like this

and I just don’t even know where everything went so wrong. Or maybe all along I just assumed they actually knew what a swan looked like, but weren’t sure they could actually pull it off and settled for whatever the heck this is instead. Either way, I’m actually kinda grateful to the finale for being so entirely disappointing on every level, because otherwise I probably would’ve tried to adopt the monstrosity of it anyway. And I’m really, really glad I don’t have to.

[belle-keys]

I Love Matthew Fairchild aka Incoherent Thoughts about Chain of Iron (2021) by Cassandra Clare

I made one of these rant-rave reviews for SJM's book so check it out if you want, no pressure tho lmao.

Aight so I finished Chain of Iron last night and OMG I HAVE TO YELL like I loved it sooo much like yooo, I have a lot to say. I know the book is new so... beware for spoilers plebs.

Also context: I been reading the Shadowhunter books since I was 12 and I'm 19 now *insert dead emoji face* so yeah, I'm just so happy rn with where the Chronicles have come and the fact that they’re still ongoing *insert uwu face*. I remember when in like 2014-2015 or something when Cassandra Clare teased that Will and Tessa's kids' generation was gonna get a trilogy set in Edwardian London, loosely based on Great Expectations, and holy hell? I think that was perhaps one of the best days of my life considering how much I adore The Infernal Devices (that trilogy really changed the way I see YA literature... don't ask cus I won't shut up about it) (also yes I read TMI and loved it too but there's a “generation gap” between TMI and the other Shadowhunter books stylistically so don't ask me about that either cus I also won't shut up).

Anyway, shoo from here if you want a critical essay on Chain of Iron. I'm not providing that, this is just me raving here for the fun.

Listen... I want the bulk of this to just be two main things: The Matthew Situation, and then all the literary and judeo-christian meta aspects of it.

BUT I ALSO NEED TO TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE SO FRICK LET'S JUST START WITH THE OBVIOUS SHIT LIKE THE PLOT AND WHATEVER

Okay, the plot and writing and shit, let's get that out of the way:

The WHOLE Jack-the-Ripper-esque ambiance was just sooooo good man wow like I did not expect the book to take this cold turn but it worked so well. There was such a contrast between Jamie and Cordelia's warm little house and then the cold winter and the stabbings and shit and it felt like a nice little callback to the actual Ripper phenomenon that preceded them and a nod to the Whitechapel Fiend story from Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy.

Bitch OFC that whole thing with Wayland was a set-up like nawww that was too easy to spot and I get why Cordelia feels like shit about it.

Dawg Lucie was just the Among Us imposter here in that my girl was just venting and sneaking around with dead people and I was like nooooo girl run, don't deal with Fade this is a set-up THINK ABOUT JULES LUCIE THAT'S LIKE YO GREAT-GRANDSON *sobs* but yeah anyway my girl has death powers she gonna kill some bitches next book.

You see that confrontation between Lilith and Belial? MASTERPIECE DIALOGUE like this was the point within which I was just like "yo is this the book of Genesis or a YA Fantasy novel" like when Lilith said "I may have been cast out but I did not fall" like??????????????????? I YELLED she did not have to END Belial like that. What a bad bitch.

More on Lilith and Belial... "You, who brought nations into darkness? Shall I finally be able to tell the infernal realms you have gone mad, lost even the image of the Creator." HAHAHHAHAHA SHE SAID "YO BELIAL GO GET SOME THERAPY AND GET OFF MY ASS" LIKE??????

Ughhhh yasss Clare has improved writing diverse characters in this book compared to in The Dark Artifices in my opinion... I'm not gonna expand on it cus ain't nobody got time for that but like, I enjoyed how she wove Persian poetry and tales into the story and the way in which she writes Cordelia and Alistair. They're not caricatures of Persian people but rather multi-faceted beings who also happen to be Persian and I appreciate that. Also, Alistair and Thomas and Anna and Ariadne were just so fun and interesting to read as coupbles but also as individuals. She really higlighted diversity in a very natural manner. All I need is a hijabi character and I’ll die a happy woman lmao.

The level of META man like the references to Classics and art (I swear, she might have compared Matthew to angels out of Caravaggio AND Rosetti AND Boticelli paintings and I Am Living For It) and just all the quotes from holy books and shit omg I love it here like you really feel catapulted into the time period, she draws reference to external art and philosophy so well and I feel like she upped the notch on it in this book (didn’t know that was possible but it was the prose is BEAUTIFUL, archaic, but not pretentiously so). No, like the characters live in their OWN worlds of literature and art and history in the way we are living in THEIRS. They quote Wilde and Milton while we'll quote Clare. It's awesome.

This is an unusually structuralist take even from me but: I like the way the milieu social of the book, i.e., the high society Edwardian circles and their values, have a direct influence on the plot. James and Cordelia got married because society’s values essentially forced them to, not a demon. Cordelia abandons Jamie at the end of Iron because her shame as a woman in society and fear for her reputation made her, not a demon. Thomas and Alistair can't be together solely because of how Alistair tarnished the reputation of the Fairchilds and Lightwoods by using the horror of infidelity against them. Issues relating to marriage, gender roles, etc, stemming DIRECTLY from the time period rule the sequence of events to the same degree as the epic fantasy aspects (demons, Princes of Hell, the lore itself) do and I LOVE that dear God above.

OKAY THE GOOD SHIT LET US TALK ABOUT CHARACTERS AND SHIPS (N.B. but imma discuss Matthew and the Fairstairs situation separately below this portion):

Alistair's redemption arc: No, cus Alistair's redemption arc is honestly amazing. He really did change and it's not like his betterment as a person was linked to any one heroic deed but rather he simply decided he wanted to be better especially for his family and he decided to become a proper protective son, a caring brother, and an amiable friend. He fully owned up to his Malfoy tendencies and apologized without expecting forgiveness. He shows how he cares in the little ways and omg it's so sweet and tender. I really do want him to love himself now and be embraced by Matthew especially and the rest of the Thieves.

Dawg Lucie and Jesse are so funny to me like it's so hilarious how this girl fell in love with a whole ass ghost that no one else knows about like HHAHA. Are Lucie and Jesse my ult ship ever? Nah, but it's nothing to do with Clare, it's just that their relationship happened pretty quick and feels quite like something epicly romantic that Lucie herself would write. I just like slow burn and friends-to-lovers the most from Clare. To be honest part of me just wanted Lucie to not have a romantic arc all together but like, it's all good, I'm not complaining.

Okay Grace- like yooooooooooo I never hated her yunno. She has been abused and isolated all her life. It's not that she is a bad person, but rather that she does not know what being a person even entails. Can't even say she's a “doll” of a person cus she's never even been pampered like one by her family. I really started understanding her motivations since when they gave us her half-childhood with Jesse. I want better for her but cmon can she REALLY be saved???

GRACE X CHRISTOPHER *pretends to be shocked*... Okay, sometime in the middle of the Dark Artifices series some big brain put together a very thorough family tree of the families and like, it clearly showed that Grace and Christopher got married so like, lmfaooooo, I knew this was coming one way or another, but the journey to this ship is more important than the destination. Like in a way Christopher is such a cute baby lamb that it makes sense he'd end up being immune to her Grace-ness when he's just a cute little Einstein boiii. Like this is just so funny to me cus he's so oblivious to social conventions while she makes the milieu social her entire life so OFC it's gonna work. Like, this is such a worlds-colliding trope like just Give It To Me.

James and Grace - aw mannn Jamie just had me fricking wanting to hit a wall every two seconds cus like yooooooo every single time I think he and Cordelia are gonna stop being emotionally-constipated spouses, Jamie says some kinda shit like "omg me and Daisy are just friends uwu" like DO I NEED TO HIT YOU?????????? See I can't blame him for not slamming the door on Grace's face even tho he totes should- Jamie is so cerebral and kind that even if Grace wasn't using the enchantment on him, I think he would always be soft for her even if it isn't in a romantic way. There's just so much miscommunication cus like he said "Thank God" when she broke off the engagement with Charles and lowkey embraced her but it also wasn't his fault cus it wasn't even romantic BUT OFC IT LOOKED HORRIBLE TO CORDELIA like James literally never told the woman at least once that he loved her so OFC she thought she was back to square one with him dear God above what a mess. Not his fault, but she DID set down one rule for him: don’t cheat with Grace. And yeah even tho he hasn’t properly cheated, it must FEEL horrible to her cus she’s just been enduring the pain of their unrequeted love for so long :((

See imma just say it but if Cordelia thought that James didn't love Grace then she def would have confessed to him about her feelings right but like James, on the other hand, was delaying his own romantic confession cus he was BEING EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED and I can't even say the bracelet was solely to blame cus like my boi was just being so difficult omg I believe he should be lightly spanked by his three parents aka Will, Tessa and Jem *cries*.

Cordelia is such a MOM like she's so mature and stable and her self-preservation instinct? OFF THE CHARTS I love this woman like James definitely treated her well as a hubby but like I JUST WANTED HER TO HAVE CLOSURE ABOUT SOMETHING and boy oh boy she did get that closure she got it good but not from the person she expected in the LEAST *hehe* *pelican screeching*... like Lucie was being sus with the whole ghost business and James was being just, quite a case, dealing with Grace and Belial right and I don't blame them at all for their secrecy and shit but her FATHER DIED and her friends were hiding a lot from her so in a way she turned to Alistair for help but he could only do so much cus of his own pain (she couldn't even talk to her mom cus she's pregnant and she doesn't wanna stress her right) and then there was this emotional block between her and Jamie, Lucie was often absent and conspiring with the dead... the last person remaining was HIM (imma discuss this soon), but yeah my heart just went OUT to her cus she's tryna save herself and her family and she just doesn't know what to do. That's why I love the way her mom told her to stop holding herself back for others and live her own life. Like Cordelia grew on me so much cus in Gold she undoubtedly was a strange Elizabeth Bennet-wallflower hybrid and I... do not usually get attached to wallflowers but in Iron I feel like I finally understood that she was just tryna be unproblematic and self-preserving all along and nottt put her family and friends in a tough situation.... she reminds me of my mom personality-wise so yeah I’m totally rooting for her now that her *situation* in the past seems clearer.

Anna, Thomas and Matthew are such a SQUAD lmfaooooo like united in their gayness they'd be so unstoppable.

Will and Tessa are the most in-love of all the in-loves in this story and I respect that so much.

I lost a year to my life every time the romance between James and Cordelia got cockblocked. Like they were MARRIED and I thought they were gonna at least sleep next to each other at least once BUT NO James couldn't take a hint omg I'm actually gonna eat my fist and sob (but in retrospect, I think this serves a bigger purpose in terms of the narrative structure i.e. the interruption of all the spicy James and Cordelia action serves a bigger purpose which I think brings me to my next section, *exhale*)

Welcome to the Matthew Fairchild Enthusiast Club (this section is me talking out loud; it makes no sense):

bitch.

LISTEN TO ME LISTEN WELL I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH IMMA SCREAM I REALLY AM GONNA SCREAM MY FIST IS LITERALLY IN MY MOUTH *BACKFLIPS OFF THE ROOF WITH LANA DEL REY PLAYING*

Okay like where to BEGIN I think the Shadowhunter boy who I'm most attracted to is Julian while the one I love the most is Will but I think I see myself in Matthew the most. Like ever since that first story where the Thieves all met at the Academy then got expelled, I think that I just KNEW Matthew was destined to be epic. Plus the whole Wilde obsession? I’m no libertine myself but I just love his chaos and passion for life.

NO CUS HE'S SO WITTY AND SWEET AND EPIC AND YET SO SECRETIVE AND DEAR GOD ABOVE AHHHHH WILL HE SURPASS JULIAN FOR ME??? Ion even know but this is just sodjsgdwsdygyegydgef

Hear me out but I said after finishing Gold last March that I wanted this book to be Matthew's healing arc right so halfway into the book when I realized that we weren't getting all that good healing arcing I was confused just cus I thought it seemed natural to address all of his alcohol issues and sadness by now. LITTLE DID I KNOW CASSIE WAS SETTING UP A WHOLE OTHER ARC WITH HIM THAT I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED WTH.

At first I thought Matthew didn't have feelings for anyone at all, and if he DID develop feelings unexpectedly, I fricking thought that maybe he's catching feelings for James, if anyone??? I mean, I did have some suspicions about Matthew from the get-go: like he's so secretive and as readers we think we know everything there is to know about him since we were all privy to the truth potion incident in his short story right BUT NO I GOT PLAYED AND I DESERVE IT SO BADDDDDD.

Listen I hadn't shipped him and Cordelia simply because I never thought it in the realm of possibility but it MAKES SENSE as a ship... think about it: he never says what he feels, he flirts with her like he does with EVERYONE, he is kind to her in the way he is with EVERYONE. Really, Matthew is shippable with everyone, doesn’t matter if they’re taken cus that’s just what his Matthewnes allows for ya feel. There is such a beautiful irony that CORDELIA herself did not see this coming. Even the little teasers and hints in Gold have only NOW started making sense to me likejhss. I just felt like the hints in book 1 did not indicate to me that Matthew really harbored real romantic feelings for Daisy. I thought he was upset that James and Cordelia were being fakes, not a developing CRUSH on the woman fgs.

Not to mention that you usually sense a ship building when the emotional connection or sexual tension between the characters is made clearer but to me their FRIENDSHIP grew right but it didn’t feel like Cordelia was thought that she liked him or he liked her so that means me and Cordelia are clowns *together* 😤

Okay I was lowkey having SUSPICIONS but I immediately shut them down right... like firstly when he took her to the White Horse in his car and she went OFF and OFF and off about how she felt free for the first time? I thought Cassie was just tryna develop Cordelia's self-liberation arc through Matthew there. Heck, I didn't even think ANYTHING of it when Matthew confession to Cordelia about the "truth potion" incident at all cus I was like they're FRIENDS??? BUT now it's adding up now...

See when they were at the inn place and he was telling her that she doesn't in the least seem like a 100 year-old married woman? I was like hmmmm he's so sweet but why did Cassie phrase it like that like??? When Cordelia later reiterated that she thought Matthew's flirting was “meaningless”?? I was like hmmm kinda SUS tho. And then when he and James had their fight over the way Jamie kissed Grace like again I thought he was just like? ion know? mad at James for it but I didn't think he was in LOVE with Cordelia??? So I immediately put aside my slight suspicions. The probability that he had a crush on James at that point seemed more likely to me.

BUT THEN it started hitting me that every time Matthew drank, even before he explained his issue with the truth potion, that Cordelia would note it, she would worry about him, she would think of her father which seemed so poetic to me, history repeating itself and all that but this time you can FIX it??? Yeah, but again I didn't think the L WORD would be involved man???

Now imma sound like a delulu shipper here but it just makes sense they would develop feelings logically- reason being that it definitely is possible based on the way Cassie set up the story, like there's a combination of little “friend things” that can turn this into a proper ship: Matthew rescues Cordelia in the ballroom when Grace captures James' attention in Gold. Cordelia sees her father in Matthew all the time but knows now she has a chance to be there for him in the way she couldn't have been there for Elias (classic “history repeats itself” trope, she doesn't want Matthew drinking in Paris like dhshghdfhdhch). Cordelia tastes freedom for the first time when driving with Matthew. Matthew caught James and Cordelia making out in the room and was pissed but not even HE properly knew why then??? Umm, when she thinks James is forreal cheating with Grace on her she subconsciously goes to Matthew??? I also found it funny just how every intimate marital moment between her and James got interrupted somehow. Like, it's as if the narrative is just a living force REFUSING to let James and Cordelia as a ship be consecrated. Heck, every time Matthew is scantily clothed Cordelia notes it. LITTLE CRUMBS I TELL YOU LITTLE CRUMBS.

I tell you when Cordelia showed up to Matthew's flat I thought they were gonna f*ck as friends but I got SOMETHING EVEN BETTER SOMEHOW

THEY ARE GOING TO PARIS LA BELLE EPOQUE PARIS THE PARIS OF DREAMS AND ART LIKE??? FRICKKKKK I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AT ALLLL MAN? I deadass thought the story would be restrained to the UK but like it MAKES SENSE the trope subversion MAKES SENSE.

“In Paris, with you, I will not need to forget.” SHITTRGEGGGDG

BUT CORDELIA LOVES JAMES TOO LIKE I CAN'T DENY THAT... where are we GOING with this like Matthew wouldn't lie about his feelings and yet Cassie wouldn't give us Matthew and Cordelia crumbs to only end it in the next book immediately for her to just ditch him for James. I mean she was clearly holding back on fleshing out James and Cordelia as a ship for this but to WHAT END??? Daisy feels wild and free with Matthew and she feels warm at home warm with James. I can’t advocate for the sinking of ANY ship here.

Imma say what we're all thinking: Is she gonna give us a Will x Jem x Tessa type situation where Cordelia gets both of them cus I'm not strong enough for this but I also think it'd be really funny if James gets a surprise bi awakening in the next books and then we get POLY even tho this would never happen, it’s actually impossible, because of the whole parabatai thing.

Listen I ship Cordelia and Matthew much more than Cordelia and James, not that I dislike James in any way tho. It's just: Matthew is so unrestrained and she's so composed. They seem like an unlikely pair so it makes sense that they hit harder for me. James and Cordelia have such similar personalities but I ALSO don't ship James with Grace at all so like?? Poly would be... ideal... but it can’t happen especially cus they are fricking parabatai... a Will-Jem-Tessa situation seems more likely but mannnn ion know what to expect. I just want FAIRSTAIRS to have their moment in Paris. I mean James and Matthew clearly don't abhor each other for this.

Take everything I say with several grains of salt, take everything I say with the whole Dead Sea actually, cus I damn well know that Matthew is so flirty and whatnot that I’d have shipped him with anyone in their little circle but now that she set him up with Cordelia it all feels so right?? I have wanted this man in a good relationship since he walked onto the page in Nothing But Shadows so-

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I can't believe Cassia duped me like this omg, Matthew is gonna have his healing arc in Paris with Cordelia by his side like- THIS IS ALL I HAVE WANTED AND SO MUCH MORE. Question to yall btw: are you all as surpised at Fairstairs as me or did yall see it coming all along like smart people? Am I a lone clown? 🥺

BRUH okay criticisms of CC?:

Lmfao a part of me feels like I GOTTA say something bad about CC or the book but honestly I have no objective complaints about it as of now. Am I saying that it’s the PEAK of Young Adult literature and Urban Fantasy? I mean, I make no such claims tbh. I’m not here to be critical when I read as a hobby and when CC’s writing makes me happy regardless of how flawed some people see it.

Okay what next?

So like I’m excited for the adult high fantasy she’s releasing in the fall and whatever other works she might be releasing outside of Chain of Gold within the Chronicles.

As for TLH itself? Man I’m just VIBING like I suspect I will reread Chain of Iron soon and maybe one of the anthologies just because I am happy that this series actually happened after me waiting like 6 years for it when it was just a concept: a Dickensian retelling filled with poetry and culture and history and the conventions I so loved in TID at age 12. This is all I been wanting tbh. I’m just enjoying watching this series come to fruition for it to inspire and transform me in some way. I feel like in a way my coming-of-age aligns with that of these specific characters yet I ALSO feel like I raised Jamie since infancy. Wack.

MATTHEW AND CORDELIA IN FRANCE LA BELLE EPOQUE TO BE EXACT IMMA CRY I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AND AHHHHHH. ALSO WILL AND JAMIE GOING TO CORNWALL TO GET LUCIE AND MAYBE BOND I LOVE WILL. HE WAS ONE OF MY DILF AWAKENINGS AT AGE 12 AND NOW HE’S HERE AGAIN IMMA CRY. I WANNA SEE MATTHEW GET HAPPY. AHHH.

Ending with a fun quote: “In the wise words of someone or other, there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Maurice.” 😉

[anakinisvaderisanakin]

The Mask of Death - Fairy Tales and Waking Nightmares (aka Vader obliterates a Rebel unit in typical, spooky fashion)

He wasn’t real.

He couldn’t be.

When Viola Perry had joined the Rebellion, he had been entirely prepared for all that entailed. He despised the Empire and its government, despised its regime and its knack for exploiting the weaker star systems and depleting them of their natural resources for the benefit of the elite. Even as a chancellor, Emperor Palpatine had tended to favour only the worlds and civilizations he considered useful and worth a damn. As Emperor, he had doubled down on that mindset - and while the planets of the outer rim were falling into a lawless haven for criminals, while the Moffs extracted every ounce of goods, riches and pleasure from the worlds they had handpicked and settled down on; Perry saw her people waste away. True, she had been raised coruscanti, on a mid tier level by a single father who laboured day and night as a mechanic. His life had not been aided by the Empire’s rise to power, instead, he had been pushed out of service by official Imperial service systems requiring customers to pay a higher amount of credits for a lesser amount of expertise. Like so many other things, there was a penalty to disobeying and neglecting the restrictions and guidelines.

As soon as Perry was able, she fled. She joined the Rebel Alliance, seeking justice for her father who had died impoverished and imprisoned for conducting and encouraging illegal behaviour - apparently, doing a greater job as a mechanic than the Imperial forces was a crime and a felony - and she had been with the organisation for four years now. Four years of fighting the good fight, winning small victories and taking back the autonomy of the galaxy little by little as hope spread like a wildfire amongst those already saddled with doubt and distrust. Chancellor Palpatine had failed to live up to his hype, why would Emperor Palpatine be any different? Perry had seen firsthand just how far the Empire was willing to go, in order to eradicate the resistance fighters and downplay their growing masses as a trivial and unimportant wayward attempt at terrorism. Only the rebels themselves knew that they were slowly but surely becoming a legitimate threat.

Perry had, as had most rebels she had fought alongside, been wary of any information spread by the Empire from the start. Propaganda and deliberate misinformation were only a couple of the tools used to lure the populous of the vast galaxy into some sense of security. As such, she had laughed the very first time she’d heard the tall tale of Darth Vader. Apparently, a mole within the Imperial ranks had shared the myth as a warning. By most of the Alliance, it had been taken as fiction sold by the Imperial sovereigns to saw fear within their resistance. Vader, as the story went, was a seldom seen assassin of the Empire. The tale painted him as clad entirely in black, seven foot tall and wielding mysterious and invicible powers. He could kill with simply a look, or a wave of the hand. At first, the story had begun as such - vague, raising more questions than it answered about this fantastical and implausible boogeyman. Perry had concluded Vader could be little more than a false narrative, invented to instill doubt within the hearts of any nervously inclined resistance fighter.

But, as time went on, more and more stories with a similar twist kept turning up. Every now and then, a delirious dying fellow rebel with haunted eyes and baited breath would ramble about a monster clad in black. Eventually, the concerns grew to a point where even figureheads of the Alliance such as Mon Mothma and the Organas would openly discuss the matter. Rumours said viceroy Bail Organa in particular was inclined to believe the stories, and while Perry viewed him as level headed and logical - that was one leap of imagination she wasn’t willing to trust him on.

It was only when Perry’s closest friend and confidant, Oliwia Blix, was slain on her own home turf - an ambush assault led by what was later revealed to be the 501st Imperial squadron, surprising the freedom fighters she was responsible for - that Perry began to question her conviction. Oliwia had not survived the attack, and her body was never recovered but those who did persevere knew she was deceased - they had seen her there in the midst of the chaos, barking out orders and desperately attempting to call for help through the sliced comlink connections. Out of the handful of survivors, Perry trusted only Juno Eclipse. Eclipse was a young, blonde woman who had once been closely affiliated with the Imperial military but who had become disillusioned one way or another. She never spoke much of her Imperial days. Her insights were always helpful, and she had aided many a favourable outcome in battle. She possessed inside knowledge and codes that were invaluable - and she was firmly decided that the ambush had been a ploy to get her; she was the target and she was responsible for the death of her affiliates.

Eclipse was reasonable, and Perry admired her judgment. That’s why, when Eclipse spoke of Vader; Perry put aside her skepticism to actually listen. According to Eclipse, Vader was the man the Empire sent out when all else failed. He was undefeated, possibly invincible; shrewd and secretive. If he came for you, he would not stop coming until he had carried out his mission. In her case, Eclipse had expected she’d be put on trial for treason when she first broke away from the Empire, but once Vader had been sent on her trail - she explained - she had realized she was no longer worth the hassle. When Vader came to collect, you were as good as dead already. Perry had asked whether Eclipse had seen this infamous monster, and Eclipse had simply chuckled in sullen surrender as if she had already accepted her own fate.

‘He’s not a monster,’ she had said. ‘He’s a man. Or, I think he was a man, once. I’m not sure what he is now.’

Eclipse had said little in addition to that, only that she was certain that he had been present on the planet Cordaan’a where the incident had occurred. Perry got the firm impression that the ex Imperial officer had seen someone or something she perceived to be this Vader, and while she didn’t want to press the already anxiety ridden woman; she chalked most of it up to stress, fear and trauma. Even Eclipse - intelligent, brave and immovable - could be deceived by the rush of adrenaline that came with battle, as her senses were jumbled. That, along with the fact that her life was in jeopardy and that she knew the Empire wanted to see her punished for her desertion, could make anyone hallucinate a phantom such as the propagandistic tale of an Imperial hitman.

That was, until two weeks later. At noon, the base camp of Brakko had prepared for a subtle, incognito transfer. Perry’s unit had been targeted for elimination by Imperial forces, and while there were no signs suggesting the Empire knew where exactly their base was hidden - it was unsafe to stay in one place for too long. As the early afternoon rolled around, every necessary scrap of ammunition, weaponry, rations, credits, and other various equipment had been rounded up and packed away. Only a few chunkier, stolen cannons and proton bombs remained unaccounted for. That was the moment during which the Empire decided to make their presence known. A well aimed rifle shot, and the second largest of the docked freight vessels was blown up in the span of milliseconds.

As its explosive cargo content shattered the clunky ship, the shockwave sent most resistance fighters flying. Shrapnel became deadly projectiles, and as Perry struggled to regain her bearings - the force of the blast had sent her several feet back into the rough, and jagged gravel of the walkway leading towards the underground bunkers - she noted familiar faces; bloodied and beaten. Some unrecognizable, some wheezing as steady streams of red liquid poured out of their nostrils. Perry herself found her hearing was dulled, as if she were underwater - the distant, faraway yells and shrieks of her terrified comrades preparing retaliation blocked out by a loud shrill ringing. She struggled to her knees, instinctively reaching for her trusty blaster where it sat holstered at her hip.

As soon as she looked up, Perry could see the swarm of stormtroopers welling forth from every direction. They were undistinguishable in their white polished armour, black visors covering their eyes. Her legs moved out of self preservation, her chest burning with extortion as she fired aimlessly at her assaulters. A few fell by the wayside, and Perry dove behind the wreckage of one of the smaller shuttles that had been affected by the explosion. Three more rebels cowered there, taking turns firing fervently to keep the troopers at bay - only for the two additional blasters wielded by who Perry recognized to be Admiral Parlak and Sergeant Ilija to be literally ripped out of their grip with no visible cause.

“Come out with your hands on your heads,” said one of the troopers, his cadence entirely void of empathy.

“You’ll gun us down if we do,” Perry snapped in defense, and realized only afterwards that she had spoken at all.

Her hearing was beginning to return, as Perry and her small group peered cautiously over the edge of the ripped off shuttle wing that provided their makeshift shield. Even as her head became fully visible, no additional shots were fired. A platoon of what Perry estimated to be forty stormtroopers stood in a half circle, making three rows with their blasters aimed meticulously at the unguarded hideout. Around them, a few smaller squads mirrored their stance. A good four feet in ahead of the mass, stood a single trooper - his more lavish suit of armour indicating that he was a higher ranking soldier, possibly a commander - with his hand raised to signify cease fire. Perry assumed he had been the one addressing them.

It was only then that she realized how eerily quiet it had become. Her eyes darted around, both relieved and unsettled when she spotted a few grimy, scuffed and fretful faces poking out from behind various chunks of debris much like her and her group. Apart from feeble moans and sobs of pain, and crackling of the fires that had spread from the explosion to the trees and vegetation concealing the base camp - everything was deathly silent.

Silent, until a deep, booming voice broke the impasse.

“Not if you cooperate.”

In one fell swoop, the mid section of the platoon parted like a tidal wave. They made room with no fuzz, moving as one single unit and stood at courtly attention. From the smoke, the ashes and the flames behind them; the shadows of even more soldiers merely silhouetted revealed as a backdrop, came a predator. Even before it could be viewed in all its horrendous detail; its large frame drew all attention. Tall, broad shouldered, chest wide - and with it followed a hissing, mechanical breathing cycle reminiscent of a respirator. At any other time its pathetic sounds may have inspired pity or sympathy, but in this instance; its intervals were decidedly ominous, as this thing traversed the ground littered with fresh corpses in a careless stride.

Towering over and dwarfing the stormtroopers; the looming dark spectre emerged fully from the dust and cinders swirling through the air. Clad in all black; head to toe. Black armour, black cape, black robes, black gloves, black boots, black helmet; black mask covering the monster’s entire face from view. Still, the lenses through which the grim presence viewed the world were tinted ever so slightly crimson. In its hand, the thing clutched the hilt of a saber - its plasma blade red and humming as energy surged through it.

“Please, no,” Perry caught a hitched gasp, frightened disbelief colouring the unmistakable tone of Eclipse - and Perry spotted her pale face off to the side; crouched behind a severed landing hatchet.

“I have come for Captain Eclipse. I have been informed that she hides among your ranks. It is unfortunate for your organisation that she would lead me to you - I, however, view it as a welcome surprise.”

The voice was so deep, it seemed to reverberate through Perry’s very bones - and despite the heat of the flames' licking, flickering nature as they consumed the palm trees with a gleeful greed - the world seemed as cold as ice. Curling in on herself, Perry wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt to stave off the worst chill; her breaths coming out as puffs of condensed mist. Still, she could do nothing but stare at the empty, hollow eyes of that face plate. The monster turned its head slowly in the direction of Eclipse’s hiding place, tilting it in a disturbingly comedic manner. If she could have seen its mouth; Perry was convinced the monster would have smiled at the collective hopelessness at its disposal.

‘Darth Vader is real,’ so many fellow rebels had insisted - and Perry had disregarded every single one as superstitious and foolhardy.

'Darth Vader is a fairy tale,’ she had stubbornly countered.

Perry didn’t even have the time to flinch as the monster’s large right hand cut through the empty air. The motion was swift, smooth and effortless - and the bulky piece of scrap metal Eclipse had been huddled behind was sent flying as if it were completely weightless. The hefty durasteel went from sitting completely still to hurdling a distance of about thirty yards at an unfathomable speed; smashing right into a tree trunk which it sheared clean off simply by momentum. The monster did not move, even as the tree collapsed and brought another down with it; but Eclipse yelped and covered her mouth. Perry had never, never seen her be anything but resolute - and slightly shaken once, while relaying her tale of this predator whom Perry had refused to believe might materialize. Now, her features spoke only of regret and dread. Her shoulders were trembling, her blue eyes glassy with tears.

“Did you believe the Emperor would not aim to see you destroyed? Did you believe he would forget you?” the monster mocked, and with obvious sarcasm he added, “You must think so highly of the Emperor’s sense of compassion. I am truly sad to say that I must dissuade such unfortunate delusions.”

“Do what you please with me, but spare the rest,” Eclipse blurted out, desperation in her voice as she stumbled to her feet; taking one unsteady step towards the monster and dissmissing his jeering entirely.

‘He’s not a monster, he’s a man. Or, I think he was a man, once,’ Eclipse had said back then; and while her eyes were now still brimming with yet unshed tears, her expression was one of bargaining.

She was attempting to appeal to this thing’s - this man’s humanity. Instead, he simply cocked his head a bit farther to the side as if perplexed by her emotional outburst, regarding her silently with a deliberate intent to unnerve and rattle her. Perry realized only then that she, too, was trembling not only from the cold. It was as if this man’s entire being radiated a dark, black, vicious hatred. A vile, twisted sense of entitlement and disgust alike. It permeated his surroundings, spreading like a contagious disease; infecting everything it touched, tainting and tarnishing anything it could corrupt. His unwavering gaze and dead eyeholes seemed to demand a cruel mixture of respect and fear; and Eclipse clasped her hands in what resembled a feeble prayer.

“Lord Vader. I beg of you. Let them go. It’s me you want.”

A tear slipped down her gaunt face; her complexion ashen and her bottom lip quivering. Her blonde hair fell over her forehead in unruly chunks, a damp patch of dark blood staining the upper sleeve of her jacket. Vader simply raised his hand once more; beckoning Eclipse with his fore and index fingers in an almost gentle manner. Eclipse had no chance to move of her own volition, nor to deny the request before her feet were lifted off the ground and she was yanked unceremoniously forwards. Her motion stopped only when she was mere inches from Vader; her face level with his mask as she levitated freely in the empty air. Vader’s outstretched hand was steady, holding its posture - and Perry realized with horror that the powers all the rumours spoke of were factual, as well.

“While it is a touching sentiment - your saviour complex serves you no favours with me, Captain.”

There was no compassion in Vader’s tone, the cadence mechanical and stilted - and yet, the words came out an overt, obvious commination. Shifting the hand Perry had assumed was efficently preoccupied with suspending Eclipse in the air, Vader gestured at his troopers and they immediately switched into action. Eclipse still hovered several feet above ground; and Perry reared back as Vader’s empty lenses came to rest on her hiding spot. As before, there was no prelude - the torn wing of the shuttle was simply shoved aside in one fluid swipe. The same thing occured simultaneously to any other covers; Perry's fellow rebels attempting to defend themselves in vain. One moment, Perry was fumbling for her blaster with numb fingers; the next, a stormtrooper had her arms trapped behind her back. Some of her comrades attempted to resist the capture, and were subsequently executed on spot with a single blast to the back of their heads. As they were rounded up, only twenty-two of the at least seventy rebels that had stayed behind loading up supplies remained. They were forced down on their knees; hands on their heads. Perry glared at Vader who seemed to eye them all with a disinterested boredom, but her hammering heart betrayed her collected facade.

“I suggest you watch, Captain. Let this be a warning to abide by. I have orders to bring you off world. While the Emperor wishes no audience with you, Governor Tarkin is most excited to have a word preceding your eminent, public execution,” Vader informed as if there were no other witnesses, no further participants to the event than him and Eclipse alone. “You will watch this.”

The final words were sinister, their implication crystal clear and the demand irrefutable. Eclipse’s slumped head was forcefully yanked in the direction of her kneeling coworkers, the men and women she had bravely fought alongside, who had become her confidants and friends. Perry expected to be anticlimactically shot, icy dread churning at the pit of her belly. Still she was transfixed by Eclipse’s horrified; apologetic eyes as they stared back at her- wide and unblinking, as if she could not close them had she wanted to. Holding the stare, a pressure closed around Perry’s slender throat; like an unseen hand encompassing her fragile neck and squeezing her windpipe until she could no longer inhale. She panicked, pawing at her throat as her lungs burned and the edges of her vision began to fade away. Next to her, the choking noises of her fellow rebels rose; all of them clawing desperately at the invisible hand strangling them unanimously. The last thing Perry saw; pure terror coursing through her veins as her pulse slowed to die away and a loud, cracking pop signified the snap of her neck caving under pressure, was Eclipse’s guilt ridden eyes, and the tears now falling from them.

Perry slumped to the ground, and Vader’s large boots stalked past her crumpled body to sear themselves into her minds eye as one final bitter irony.

He was real.

He was real.

Then, she was no more.

---------

Posted a teaser before, but I like this installment so much I felt I needed to post the entire thing so here you go. Link to the full fic below:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24049894/chapters/79969921

[nalgenewhore]

Slipping Through My Fingers - Four

masterlist - ao3 - last chapter - next chapter

warnings: none

The bell finally rang on a glorious Friday afternoon and Elide corralled all her students, herding them into the cubby room. 

Kohana, as always, was one of the first students ready, standing next to the door silently as his proclaimed ‘bestest friend ever’ stood next to him, excitedly chattering about her weekend plans. 

Esther Corsario-Beausoleil was an adorable little girl, with sea green eyes and a cloud of coily, flaming red locks, the child to Elide’s favourite parents - Ilias, Ansel, and Rolfe. Elide had known Ansel forever and knew that they proclaimed it to be a cruel and unjust punishment to stick their kid with three last names. Ilias had gotten the pick of her first name as a consolation. Unlike one of her fathers and Kohana, she hardly ever stopped talking, but it seemed as though Kohana’s presence had a calming effect on her. 

Esther was currently explaining to Kohana that her last name, translated into the common tongue, meant ‘pirate-beautiful sun’. Esther had the cutest accent, her pronunciation of her last names immaculate. 

That had him excited as he hurriedly told her that his last name meant ‘god of the sea-saviour of the earth’. They looked very pleased with themselves and Esther managed to stop hopping around to show him how her shoes lit up. 

“Ok, friends, is everybody ready?” Elide asked, standing at the front of the line. They all nodded and took each other’s hands like she’d taught them before she led them outside. It was beautiful again today and Elide couldn’t wait to go over to Nesryn and Lysandra’s place tonight, her week - while she loved it and it had gone as smoothly as possible - had been hectic and she was ready to relax with her closest friends. 

Elide said hello to the parents and nannies, pulling some of them to the side to discuss minor issues they’d had. Somehow, she’d managed to make it through the week without a single wet pants situation and Elide thanked whatever deity had ensured that small victory for her. 

“Elide! Elide!” Elide turned, to see Esther pointing across the asphalt area to her mother, who was climbing out of a sleek red Cadillac. “C’est Maman!” 

Elide chuckled as Ansel strolled up, wearing a pair of skin tight black jeans, a black top and a burgundy leather jacket, her eyes hidden behind a pair of cat-eye sunglasses. She tossed her glossy locks over her shoulder and opened her arms, letting her daughter race towards her and launch herself into her arms. “Bon après-midi, my petite. On fait bien, oui?” Esther nodded and began to babble as Ansel propped her up on her hip and walked to Elide. “Elide, my saviour!” Oh, how Elide loved that sultry accent.

“Hey, Ansel. Esther was a joy, yet again. We made some art today, but it won’t be dry until Monday.” 

Ansel nodded and turned to Kohana, who was now standing alone, the last kid, as he waited for his dad. There was a crease between his brows as he watched with those light eyes of his. “Hi, Ko-Ko. How we doing?” 

He turned to Ansel and waved, “Hi-hi. ‘m waiting for até.” He fell silent again, wringing his hands until something crossed over his face and he was off before Elide could stop him, running as fast as his little legs would take him. Kohana didn’t get too far before Lorcan was scooping him up. 

Lorcan was smiling widely as he easily put Kohana on his shoulders and walked over to Elide and Ansel. Kohana looked pleased, his little hands holding onto Lorcan’s hair as he sat on his perch. “Hey, Ansel, Esther.” Esther waved at him vigorously and swung her legs out, trying to get her shoes to light up again. “Elide.” 

“Lorcan.” Ansel looked back and forth between them with narrowed eyes after she pushed her sunglasses up into her wine-coloured hair. Elide still couldn’t tell if it was natural or not - even after all these years - but with Esther’s red strands, she couldn’t be sure. “Kohana was a perfect student this week. I’m very impressed with his ability to tie his own shoes. He’s got the best bunny ears in the game.” She winked at Kohana, who giggled and clapped his little hands before leaning over his father’s head. 

“I tied my shoes all the days, até.” 

“Good job, Ko. You ready to go?” 

“Yep! Got say bye-bye to Essie!” Kohana sat up straight and stretched out his arm, waving bye to Esther. “Bye-bye, Essie!” 

Esther beamed and waved goodbye to him as well, “Au revoir, Ko-Ko!” 

The adults chuckled at the cuteness and all said their farewells as Lorcan strolled off. Ansel swivelled to Elide, a brow raised, “What the fuck was that?” 

“Maman! Mauvais mot,” Esther chastised her mother, frowning as she crossed her arms. 

“Just like your Aba, huh? Always tell me what to do,” Ansel teased her daughter in reference to Ilias. Elide had known Ansel when they were both in university, around the time that she met her now husbands, and Elide knew that Rolfe and Ansel were the troublemakers of the relationship. “But seriously, what was that?” 

Elide rolled her eyes, “You’re still coming tonight, right? I’ll tell you then.” 

Ansel pouted and sighed dramatically, “Oh, I suppose I can wait that long.” They laughed and soon enough, were departing as Elide headed back to her classroom. 

She puttered around, tidying up and putting the little chairs up before gathering her things. It didn’t take more than fifteen minutes and she was off, after closing the blinds and turning off the lights, heading home for the weekend. 

It was nice out again today, but Elide had still brought her car, a cute, vintage, baby-blue painted Volkswagen Bug. She rolled down the windows as she drove home, happy with the success of her first week. 

Granted, she could’ve done without the realization that she’d had a one-night stand with one of her student’s fathers, but she’d take what she could get. 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

“Dad, where we going?” 

“We’re going to Ro’s house, kiddo.” 

“Can I bring Tigger?” 

Lorcan looked down at his son, his eyes wide as he pouted. “Sorry, Ko, you know Tigger stays at home.” 

Kohana sulked, crossing his arms tightly. “Wanna bring Tigger.” He frowned deeply, a fierce glare pointed at Lorcan as he picked the child up and locked their front door behind him, walking to the truck. Every first Friday of the month, the guys would all meet up and play poker somewhere. The level of the stakes varied, but never exceeded an ostentatious amount. 

As a bribe, Lorcan stopped at a fast food place and bought his son chicken nuggets on his way to Rowan’s, smiling in the rearview as Kohana happily munched on his dinner and kicked his legs out. Soon enough, they pulled up in front of Rowan’s townhouse and hopped out of the truck. 

Kohana raced to the door and pressed incessantly on Rowan’s doorbell until the silver-haired man yanked the door open, assuming it was Lorcan doing it to annoy him. Upon seeing Kohana, he grinned and picked the little one up, tickling his sides until he was squirming away. “No! No more!” 

“Boyo just devoured ten chicken nuggets, don’t blame me when he barfs on you,” Lorcan said dryly, laughing as Rowan made a nervous face and put Kohana down. He pushed past Rowan’s legs and raced into the house, roaring his arrival. 

“So how’s the teacher?” 

Lorcan groaned, “Fen told you?” 

“Literally the second after you told him.” 

“Fucking Marama,” Lorcan muttered, putting down Kohana’s backpack of toys and books. 

“Someone say my name?” Fenrys yelled as he popped out from behind the corner and Lorcan shouted. 

“Hellas below, man, can you not? I hate it when you do that.” Fenrys cackled and Lorcan wondered how on earth did he convince Nehemia to marry him. They all walked into the kitchen and sat at the table, with Kohana as their dealer. 

They didn’t fuck around after their greetings and got right into the game. At some point, Connall had fished out the old visor with DEALER stamped across it and plopped it on Kohana’s head. 

The five-year old took his job very seriously, his brows furrowed as he carefully passed out the correct amount of cards. “Juice, please.” 

After he’d gotten his juice box, the game was back on. Fenrys looked at Lorcan and wiggled his brows in a way that Lorcan did not like. “So, Man-Man,” Kohana looked up from the chips he was carefully stacking, sitting atop a pile of books so that he could see the entire table. “How’s school going? You like your teacher?” 

“Fenrys-” 

“Teacher is nice. Like her. She read stories and paint and draw and play outside with us. Did you know I gots a bestest friend, Fenny?” 

“What? I thought I was your bestest friend, Ko!” Fenrys exclaimed, holding a hand to his heart like he was wounded. “What’s your bestest friend like?” 

“Very loud. Essie talks a lot,” Kohana said, moving on to the blue chips. “She gots shoes that light up too.” 

“She seems like a nice friend,” Vaughan said, smiling fondly at his nephew. “Do you have light up shoes, Fenny?” Fenrys, mindful of the child sitting in full view, stuck his tongue out at Vaughan, making Kohana giggle. 

“Essie has two daddies and one mommy.” 

Lorcan elaborated, “She’s Corsario’s kid.” 

“Oh dang really?” Connall asked, his brows lifting. “Ay, didn’t he marry Ilias and Ansel?” 

“Yeah, they were in that prenatal class with us,” Lorcan said, focusing on his cards. 

“That is a brave man.” 

“What’dya mean?” 

“Marrying Rolfe and Ansel? I’m surprised he hasn’t had a heart attack yet.” 

They all chuckled and soon enough, the game recommenced, at the behest of the dealer. 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

“I got to say, El, Esther’s so happy she gets to call you by your first name.” Ansel rolled her eyes, “She had the most ridiculous daycare leader ever who made the kids learn the ‘proper’ way to address adults.” 

“They’re kids! Some of them haven’t even turned five yet, for fuck’s sake. If all we’re doing is learning our numbers and ABCs, then they definitely do not have to ‘address’ me like that. Certainly not if I’m teaching them to treat others how they want to be treated,” Elide said, helping Lysandra in the kitchen by washing a head of lettuce.

Ansel nodded her agreement and a wicked gleam entered her eyes as Elide started tearing up the green leaves. “So… how much more drunk do you have to be to spill that hot drama you’ve been sitting pretty on, with your cute lil ass?”  

Elide groaned and flicked Ansel’s nose, “Dude… can you be chill? For once?” 

“Spill? Spill what?” Aelin asked, popping into the kitchen. 

“Oh, am I finally going to figure out why you were being so weird on Saturday?” That was Nehemia, walking into the kitchen with Nesryn. Lysandra was already there, cutting something up for whatever dinner they were having. 

Elide groaned in defeat and hit her head on the countertop. “I slept with my student’s dad.” 

“What?” 

She lifted her head and pinched the bridge of her nose, “The guy from Friday night is the father of one of my students.” 

They gawked at her, utterly silent until Ansel gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. “Mon dieu, it’s Lorcan, right? Am I right?” 

“Mm-hmm. Yup.” 

Aelin, Ansel, and Nehemia cackled as Lysandra gave her a sympathetic look and hugged her. “I’m sorry, honey. That doesn’t sound fun.” 

Elide pouted and whined, “It’s so bad! I thought he was stalking me or something when he showed up!” A thought crossed her mind and she swore, “Anneith below, it’s gonna be so awkward at parent-teacher conferences!” 

“How?” 

“Well, I think he’s divorced and they have joint custody? Anyway, we’ve barely said more than two sentences to each other and I can’t even look him in the eye. The mother is going to have to be brain-dead-” 

Ansel sucked in a breath, all the humour in her face disappearing. “El… can I talk to you quickly?” 

They all exchanged weird looks as Elide slipped off her stool and followed Ansel to the backyard. The red-haired woman was pacing, biting her thumbnail. “Ans, what is it?” 

“Kohana’s mom died four years ago. She got sick and they didn’t find anything wrong until it was too late.” 

“Oh my gods. Are you serious?” 

Ansel nodded, her eyes conflicted. “Yeah. I figured you knew already. She and Lorcan had been together for years, highschool sweethearts.” 

Elide felt her heart drop and she couldn’t find the words to process anything. She knew what it was like to lose her parents at a young age and suddenly it all made sense. Kohana’s wariness to make friends outside of Esther, waiting anxiously for his dad to show up at pickup, lingering by Lorcan at dropoff. “Poor Kohana. Poor Lorcan. Shit.” 

Ansel winced and nodded, “I wouldn’t mention it to him until he brings it up. Losing her like that… no one should have to live through that. Especially with a kid.” 

Elide nodded, her mind reeling. Somehow, this mess became even messier. She wasn’t sure how it had done that. 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Fenrys was having a no-blinking contest with Kohana when his phone buzzed. The five-year old smirked, the little shit had the audacity to smirk at him, his gaze piercing and wide open. “Do you needs a break?” 

Man, fuck him and his stupid grammar, Fenrys said to himself as he nodded and Kohana blinked, taking a bite of his mini Babybel. His hands were barely big enough to hold it in one. The golden-haired man had never wanted to throttle anyone more. 

He stepped away from the table and took out his phone, smiling at the image of his wife that lit up the screen. He accepted the call, “Hey, Mi. What’s up?” 

“Hi, babe, um… did Lorcan tell you that…?”

“Oh, Ko’s teacher? Yeah, he told me.” He paused, checking that everyone was busy doing something. “What about it?” 

Nehemia breathed out slowly, “She’s Aelin’s sister. Elide.” 

“Oh fuck.” 

A little voice gasped from behind him and Fenrys turned, seeing Kohana clap his hands over his ears. Bless that kid and his innocence. “Mi, I gotta go. Let’s talk more at home, ok?” 

“Ok. Love you, Fen.” 

“Love you too.” 

Kohana’s eyes were wide and he whispered, “You said a bad word, Fenny.” 

Fenrys stuffed his phone back into his pocket and quickly lifted Kohana up, carrying him to the kitchen. “I know, Man-Man. But guess what?” 

“What?” 

“If you keep it a secret and don’t tell your daddy, I’ll give you ice cream. Deal?” 

Kohana’s vehement nod was answer enough for Fenrys.

+*+*+*+*+*+*

an: Até means father in Lakota :) and it’s gonna be a lil slow for now, ok? but don’t worry, the drama is coming 👀

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