#and this is why no amount of narrative defense of the finale is capable of making me feel any better about it

[etoilesombre]

hi! this is maybe very out of the blue, but - i'm reading 'our feast is but beginning' on ao3, and in a comment on part one you write something about the urca gold being a cursed symbol and that it makes zero economical sense. idk really what i am asking but maybe - do you have posts on hand that deal with that? or would you write down some of your thoughts on that? it sounds really interesting! thanks (:

OOOH I'm so excited to talk about this -- it is actually going to come up more in the final chapter of that series, and it comes up as a major plot point in longfic, because I think its a really great example of how in some ways Black Sails is Just a Story. Which is also to say: none of what I'm saying here is a criticism of the show. The Urca Gold is Pirate Treasure writ large, it serves its function in the narrative, we don't actually need to think about the real world implications of stealing it.

But IF, for instance, you were a fanfic writer and kind of a history and econ nerd, and inclined to 'well actually' stuff, then you might see a couple problems with the gold as a solution for a free and independent Nassau. I think of them basically as problems of scale and form.

Let's talk about scale first. Basically, if you are going to steal and not die, you have to make a few calculations.

If you can steal something big, run away and live anonymously ever after, good for you! No problems. (This was Silver's initial plan. He was smart.)

If, however, you are going to steal openly, and maintain some sort of defended home base (see: bandits, organized crime, pirates) you have to ensure it is not worthwhile for people to come get their stuff back. This is why, as a pirate, it behooves you to have a reputation for extreme violence, and also a remote hideout. Merchant ships have insurance, the right people quietly profit from the fencing of pirated goods; nobody actually wants to die, so piracy is cost of doing business, and the world carries on.

The Urca gold is in a completely different class of stealing. This isn't holding up a truck; it isn't robbing the bank. It's robbing the Federal Reserve. Five million Spanish dollars, in today's money (yes, there are issues thinking of it this way, but the point holds) equals somewhere around 250-300 million US dollars.* There is simply no way that it is not worth Spain's (or England's) time and resources to go get it back. The cache they were fighting over at the end was one share and it was enough to cause all that trouble. The full amount would be worth sending a good chunk of your navy for, and the fact that this did not happen immediately requires some suspension of disbelief. Anyway.

Flint's theory seems to be that it's enough money to allow the pirates to defend Nassau against that threat, and basically establish themselves as a rich colony the empires won't fuck with. This is treated by the show like a reasonably serious proposition. So why does it fall apart? You can buy anything with that kind of money, can't you?

Now we get to the problem of form. Gold is only useful if you can exchange it for stuff you need. This is a problem for the pirates on two different fronts, defense specifically and trade in general.

In terms of defense, the pirates would need, very quickly, enough ships and guns to fight at least one imperial navy. But only the major powers were capable of manufacturing those ships and guns. Even if the pirates bought up all they could in terms of well-armed merchant ships/found a corrupt governor or two to buy guns and powder from, it would always be a losing battle because no matter how much money you throw at them, the powers that make warships are absolutely not selling you any. Why would they, when they can use them to come take the gold instead?

So, if the pirates aren't going to live long once they have this gold, can they at least spend their last months being filthy rich and enjoying themselves?

Not really.

We see Jack's crew members getting huge shares, everyone else on the island taking payment to help with defense when the time comes, as well as Jack paying laborers exorbitant amounts. So there's plenty to go around right?

This is how inflation happens. If we all suddenly have twice as much gold, but there is no more actual physical stuff, almost instantly the stuff will cost twice as much. This problem at least theoretically could be corrected by increasing trade. [Also, realistically, people would leave. But let's say they're staying for belief in the pirate republic reasons.] Because in the wider economy of trade in the Atlantic money is still valued normally, you can just import what you need.

And, maybe. This is more plausible than the rest.

But that sort of correction takes time, and given the whole 'war with civilization' situation, there can't be legitimate and sanctioned trade. It's pretty hard to get enough illegitimate goods in for an economy to prosper --- especially because if you're relying on black market trade during wartime, notoriously there ends up being price gouging and then you're back to square one with inflation.

In conclusion: the show does not get bogged down by this, as it shouldn't. It's fine. But yeah, the gold is fake and makes no sense, and Flint and Jack especially are borderline delusional about what it can achieve for them.

*This is actually not as impressive as I wanted it to be, once I started looking up reference points, eg, how much outstanding student debt is there? how much money does besos have? how much is defense spending? Did y'all know we should fight capitalism and eat the rich?

[because--palestine]

“They have left us no choice other than to take the decision in our hands and to fight back,” said Dr. Basem Naim, a senior member of Hamas’s political bureau and a former government minister in Gaza. “October 7, for me, is an act of defense, maybe the last chance for Palestinians to defend themselves.” He said “If we have to choose, why choose to be the good victims, the peaceful victims? If we have to die, we have to die in dignity. Standing, fighting, fighting back, and standing as dignified martyrs.”

“It's kind of like telling the folks in the Warsaw uprising that you should have known that the German military was going to respond the way they did and you are going to be responsible for the deaths of other residents in the Warsaw ghetto,” Susan Abulhawa said. “Maybe that's true, but is it really a moral point to make? I don't think there has ever been so much scrutiny on an indigenous people, on how they're resisting their colonizers.” She said “As a Palestinian, I'm grateful for it. I think what they have done is something that no amount of negotiation was ever able to achieve. Nothing else we did was able to achieve what they did on October 7. And I should say, actually, it's not so much what they did, but it was Israel's reaction that led to a shift in the narrative because they're finally naked before the world.”

In his past media interviews, Sinwar has spoken of Hamas as a social movement with a military wing and framed its political goals as part of the historic struggle to reestablish a unified state of Palestine. “I am the Gaza leader of Hamas, of something much more complex than a militia—a national liberation movement. And my main duty is to act in the interest of my people: to defend it and its right to freedom and independence,” he said. “All of those who still view us as an armed group, and nothing more, you don't have any idea of what Hamas really looks like.... You focus on resistance, on the means rather than the goal—which is a state based on democracy, pluralism, cooperation. A state that protects rights and freedom, where differences are faced through words, not through guns. Hamas is much more than its military operations.”

“The battle between us and the occupation who desecrated our land, displaced our people and are still murdering and displacing Palestinians—confiscating lands and attacking sacred places—is an open ended battle,” Sinwar said. When asked about the killing of Israeli civilians by Hamas rockets, Sinwar became animated. “You can’t compare that to those who resist and defend themselves with weapons that look primitive in comparison. If we had the capabilities to launch precision missiles that targeted military targets, we wouldn’t have used the rockets that we did,” he shot back. “Does the world expect us to be well-behaved victims while we’re getting killed? For us to be slaughtered without making a noise? That’s impossible.”

“If you go back to the 1940s after the Nakba, there was a decade or so when Palestinians were just pleading with international bodies, going from one place to another, trying to negotiate for justice, trying to go home, trying to figure out a way. And there was no movement. We were completely irrelevant. Nobody even acknowledged us,” Abulhawa added. “It was only until Palestinians resorted to armed resistance that the world finally admitted that, ‘Oh wait, this is an indigenous population that does exist.’ It was only after we started hijacking planes and resorting to guerrilla warfare in the spirit of leftist guerrilla movements of that era that there was any movement towards liberation.”

[mittensmorgul]

As Above, So Below

I’m still trying to pinpoint exactly why the focus on “heaven is fixed and actually a paradise now!” is just so deeply unsatisfying to me. And I think I need to preface this with a bit of backstory about me, because I think that gives the rest of this essay some relevant context.

I know this isn’t relevant to my main point here, but this is a metatextual and thematically identical example of the exact thing I’m gonna lay out, because context is always helpful. So please forgive this seemingly irrelevant detour, because I promise it will be relevant by the end.

(plus, would it really be an Essay By Mittens™ without at least one baffling tangent? no, it would not!)

Tangent time!

I think everyone that follows me knows how skeptical I was... or should I say how WARY I was of the way Eileen was returned to the narrative this season. We were warned in the PREVIOUS EPISODE how much Chuck was attempting to interfere in their lives. I was accused of some very nasty things, of hating the ship, or hating the character of Eileen, or of hating Sam and not wanting them to be happy. No amount of pointing at obvious warning signs in the text, no amount of yelling about Sam’s God Wound or the absolute klaxon warning that the wound had become “quiet” and his Chuck-O-Vision Nightmares had apparently stopped seemed to matter. I was declared “wrong” and told to shut up.

And then 15.09 happened, and basically everything I’d been wary of was shown to be what actually happened, but there were still unresolved issues. Eileen doubted her own feelings and walked away. She doubted what was actually real. And at the time, I said many times that I would be thrilled to see those issues resolved by the end of the season, and for her to truly know that what she’d felt growing between her and Sam was real. And by the end of the season, despite my personal horror at her previous situation (and having that personal horror compounded by the fandom literally gaslighting me and attempting to bully me into ignoring this basic actual plot detail of this specific growth process which... in the context of what my personal objection was to accepting her return at face value in the first place having been personal trauma associated with gaslighting and manipulation...) by the time 15.18 aired, I was 100% convinced that Sam and Eileen had fully chosen each other, and felt the traumatic pain Sam suffered during that text conversation with her during the snap. She NEEDED to come back, because she had been set up to be part of Sam’s Win. They were clearly each other’s future.

The show literally put in all the work to make even *me* feel this to be True and Right and Good. And then after that point we never even hear Eileen’s name again. We never were told that she was even returned at the end of 15.19. Sam, who had been so entirely devastated by her disappearance in the previous episode that he couldn’t even process it was apparently hit with an amnesia hammer and just... never even thought about her again through a long greyscale life with a blurry baby Dean factory vaguely in the background of a single scene of his life. I can’t credit or justify how after an entire year invested in making us all truly care about Sam and Eileen and the happiness they found in each other if only the cosmos would allow them to choose each other in the end would just... erase all of that in the series finale.

Which brings me to the second tangent, which is specifically about *me,* and how I feel about the cosmic order in the television show Supernatural. Because I feel a lot about it. Probably more than most people ever did. And this is also important to understanding the main underlying point I need to make here.

Something I’ve been most looking forward to, for YEARS, about Supernatural eventually ending someday was writing a book, or a thesis, or even just organizing and compiling all my observations into a cohesive narrative specifically about the cosmology of the Supernatural universe. I’ve been cobbling together my observations and realizations about the nature of heaven, hell, purgatory, the empty, the alternate universes we’ve seen, and yes, even the cosmic function of the mundane level of the story as told by events that transpired on Earth. So of everyone watching this dumb show for the last 15 years, I don’t actually know anyone who cared more that I did about finding a satisfactory resolution and transformation of every plane of existence-- the mortal world AND the “afterlife realms” we’ve experienced on this show. And in the wake of the finale, I feel cheated out of that. Because in the end, it wasn’t about the triumph of free will and a flip of the script, it was just more of the same.

And now that I have those two preliminaries out of the way, I’ll finally get to the point. :’D

(hooray, it didn’t even take 1k words to get there for once!)

The “main stage” of Supernatural has always been Earth. It’s always been “Humanity.” At the very start, we meet two men whose lives had always been dictated to them by higher powers. At first, that “higher power” was their father who raised them in his vengeance mission, who trained them to hunt the supernatural. It was the inciting incident of the entire series, after all, their realization that forces outside of their control had irrevocably altered the course of their lives. It had forever torn down what they’d trusted in family, in personal safety, and would become something they couldn’t outrun or fight back against for long before another wave of cosmic discord would settle over them once more.

We watched this story play out in ever increasing spheres of cosmic significance, until Gabriel laid it out on the table for them in the simplest possible terms (in 5.08).

GABRIEL: You do not know my family. What you guys call the apocalypse, I used to call Sunday dinner. That's why there's no stopping this, because this isn't about a war. It's about two brothers that loved each other and betrayed each other. You'd think you'd be able to relate. SAM: What are you talking about? GABRIEL: You sorry sons of bitches. Why do you think you two are the vessels? Think about it. Michael, the big brother, loyal to an absent father, and Lucifer, the little brother, rebellious of Daddy's plan. You were born to this, boys. It's your destiny! It was always you! As it is in heaven, so it must be on earth. One brother has to kill the other. DEAN: What the hell are you saying? GABRIEL: Why do you think I've always taken such an interest in you? Because from the moment Dad flipped on the lights around here, we knew it was all gonna end with you. Always. A long pause. SAM and DEAN look down, then at each other. DEAN: No. That's not gonna happen. GABRIEL: I'm sorry. But it is. GABRIEL sighs. GABRIEL: Guys. I wish this were a TV show. Easy answers, endings wrapped up in a bow...but this is real, and it's gonna end bloody for all of us. That's just how it's gotta be. ***

And isn’t that all even 1000x more painfully ironic that it all still happened even 10 years later? It was always going to end with them. And lol, “I wish this were a TV show” because if it was then it wouldn’t have to end bloody.

But this… was a Major Acknowledgement that the meta level of this story was consistent, and was telling us something important. It demonstrated that the Cosmic Structure Itself was the cause for Sam and Dean’s “destiny” in this story. But that’s not what the point of this story has ever been.

Nobody (including me, who is literally obsessed with this aspect of the story) has ever invested themselves in the narrative of Supernatural because they cared about the fate of the cosmic order over and above the fate of the characters who had committed to overthrowing it all, to “tearing up the pages” and writing their own destinies. I mean, we became invested because Sam, Dean, and Cas as characters took us by the hand and invited us to come along with them as they battled against fate for the good of EARTH and HUMANITY.

And certainly, Heaven being a horrific sort of eternal replay of the “highlights” of individual souls greatest hits, where free will didn’t apply as everyone was just boxed away into their individual holodecks to serve as some sort of giant Heaven Battery powering the furtherance of this narrative, this “cosmic order” that had become so powerful it dictated the events and manipulated the lives of people who still existed in the ostensible realm of free will and human life on Earth… that couldn’t stand in the end. But what the narrative (and people I’ve seen attempting to justify the finale as narratively sensible) seems to have forgotten was that all of that was Chuck’s construct to begin with. That without Chuck holding his kingdom in Heaven together, the walls of all those soul cubicles ceased to even be relevant.

After spending their entire lives to this point constantly fighting their way to the absolute pinnacle of the As Above, So Below narrative and pulling the plug on the original creator himself, Humanity should’ve triumphed. And I’d argue that it DID, through Jack restoring the missing essential “humanity” to the divine condition. And, silly me, I thought they’d achieved the promise of “paradise” heralded by Jack’s birth at last, and truly “flipped the entire script of the narrative.”

Ever since they thwarted the original apocalypse, I had hope that they would continue to achieve the same result right up the ladder. Metatron trying to fill the role of Chuck Junior hit his own narrative wall in TFW, while Dean’s battle with the Mark of Cain, and Cain telling him he was “living my life in reverse” and would succumb to destiny by killing his loved ones in the “reverse order” to Cain’s own path to downfall cemented this for me. Dean not only failed to kill any of his loved ones (you didn’t kill your own brother. why?), he SAVED them. He didn’t fulfil the prophecy in reverse, he subverted it. He UNMADE it.

Perhaps I was thinking on too grand a scale, that the ultimate inversion wouldn’t be “God is overthrown and replaced by more of the same,” but “God is overthrown and the entire order of the universe is restructured from the bottom up rather than the top down.

I’d hoped against hope that the conclusion of the narrative would be “As below, so above,” with the fundamental power of human love becoming the new foundation of the cosmic order. It never even occurred to me that “taking back the narrative to rewrite it for ourselves” was not the ultimate goal of Team Free Will, or the ultimate expression of their biggest win.

This whole “well heaven really needed to be rebuilt, there was still work to be done!” seems… irrelevant to me if they’d truly won free of the cosmic narrative. The entire structure of the universe-- including Heaven and Hell-- should’ve defaulted to the paradise state that Jack was literally born to bring to fruition. Wasn’t that the point of his entire role in the story, ultimately?

And if that wasn’t the case in the end, why did we never learn the fate of Hell? Was it just… irrelevant and unchanged after this? Or just… abandoned as a concept entirely? It’s just strange to me to put such a focus on heaven being the sole sphere of import in the end that it undercuts the essential humanity of the narrative for me.

The story itself had kept Heaven on a back burner for years, only occasionally mentioning that the structure of the place was falling further and further into disrepair with a dwindling force of angels struggling to keep the walls in place at all, that it seems like it could’ve been an afterthought at the end of the series rather than a focus so large it required the death of both main characters to make sure we all understood that Heaven Had Changed Now. Because TFW had never been fighting to make Heaven right. They’d been fighting to save the world itself, for humanity to all have a chance to live their lives as their own.

And we didn’t need to see that in the final hope they might get their own lives on Earth to explore. In the end, the fundamental narrative that Life On Earth was dictated by the cosmic structure of creation was never fully subverted. And for me, that’s the main reason I just… can’t accept the finale. It wasn’t a victory of free will and humanity, in the end it was just more of the same.

I appreciate the attempts to take the essential bones of the story we did get and apply a different polish to the surface of the skeleton, but to me it still feels like we’re looking at completely different beasts in the end. Like… to me this was as jarring a revelation as those drawing of modern animals reimagined as dinosaurs entirely based on their skeletons. Like, all along the narrative told me I was looking at a swan. They told me this skeleton they’re building out from is definitely a swan, without a doubt.  I know what a swan looks like-- a graceful feather-covered bird with magnificent wings. I trusted that in the end it would be at least remotely swan-looking. And then the finale ended up looking like this

and I just don’t even know where everything went so wrong. Or maybe all along I just assumed they actually knew what a swan looked like, but weren’t sure they could actually pull it off and settled for whatever the heck this is instead. Either way, I’m actually kinda grateful to the finale for being so entirely disappointing on every level, because otherwise I probably would’ve tried to adopt the monstrosity of it anyway. And I’m really, really glad I don’t have to.

[embermc]

I’m still not over what happened to Ghostbur on Doomsday. There is no way to properly justify what happened to Ghostbur on Doomsday. And while I’m still absolutely happy that Ghostbur called out Doomsday’s perpetrators out on needlessly hurting and involving innocent pets, buildings and people in their conflict (even if he was one of the only ones that did at the time), I’m still really sad that he had to do that.

(Analysis under the cut, /rp)

Ghostbur was right, and he’s so much smarter than people think. I’m really glad that he called out how not okay it was for Techno and Phil to destroy buildings, and kill innocent pets and people just because of their conflict with a few people. That’s the main reason why Doomsday is so unjustified: because it took a conflict between a few people and needlessly involved everyone else in it, hurting innocent people and pets that did nothing wrong. Remember Ranboo sadly apologizing to his pets when he realized he couldn’t save all of them? Remember Karl’s distraught when he found out what happened to Party Island? Remember Ghostbur’s complete breakdown when he lost Friend and saw the nation he worked hard to rebuild get utterly destroyed?

Nothing could justify what happened to Ghostbur, and yes, I’m glad he finally called someone out on their Doomsday nonsense, but I’m sad at the conditions he had to do it in. Nobody ever took him seriously. Everyone just saw him as some silly, unfeeling ghost, and treated him like such. He was treated like a child by many, despite being a fully-grown adult. People like Techno and Phil didn’t even think he would feel any emotion after having everything he loved and cared about destroyed. They didn’t think he would understand or comprehend, so they didn’t even bother to take his emotions into consideration. They treated him like a small, stupid child, with no emotions of his own.

Ghostbur’s not a small child, and he wasn’t stupid. He acted childlike as a defense mechanism to cope with trauma, but he was always a fully capable adult. He forgets things that bring him pain, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t a skilled, intellectually capable person able to process emotion. He build an entire nation, he weighed moral dilemmas (as in, choosing who to help in scenarios and taking into account who needed him at a certain time), and he genuinely tried to mend relationships he felt needed fixing. He was always relatively a pacifist, he didn’t want to get involved in wars, and just wanted people to be happy. He wanted to spread happiness and make up for the past mistakes of a man he doesn’t even remember.

But the physically powerful people on the server, people like Techno, Dream, and even his own father, Phil, looked at someone who was pacifistic, easygoing, and optimistic and only saw saw someone who wasn’t worth being taken seriously. And that’s another common theme on the server. People who are more powerful, particularly physically but often with charisma and manipulation as well, are regarded with more inherent worth and are taken more seriously than those who don’t possess these traits, or choose not to possess them. People like Techno, Phil, and Dream have their opinions constantly validated, their motives are taken seriously, and their threats are feared. People like Alivebur and Schlatt, who had a lot of charisma and verbal power, were taken seriously and treated as genuine threats when need be. But people like Ghostbur? People who prefer to be peaceful, non-confrontational, and want to spread happiness and joy without worrying about wars and pain, and are typically optimistic? They’re often disregarded, treated as if their emotions and opinions don’t matter.

That’s exactly what happened here, and exactly what Ghostbur gets upset with Phil about. He said it himself: “I may be forgetful, and I may be an amnesiac, and I may be the comic relief in all your stories, but I still feel this. I still feel things...” People, particularly Phil here, assumed that just because Ghostbur was forgetful, constantly optimistic, and a comic relief character, he couldn’t feel the enormous amounts of pain being inflicted on him. They assumed he wouldn’t comprehend Doomsday and wouldn’t comprehend his world being torn apart, because he was just some dim-witted, unfeeling ghost. Like a small child who doesn’t understand the world going on around him. While this can also play into Phil’s character because he lost his son, and he desperately wants to make everything seem like he has a second chance to raise his son from early childhood, this mentality is beyond unfair to Ghostbur. Because Ghostbur CAN feel things, he CAN feel pain, he just desperately doesn’t want to. He wants to avoid feeling any form of negative emotion or pain whatsoever, and wants to repress his negative feelings and pretend to be happy. But in this moment, when he confronts Phil, he finally bursts.

This is what ultimately lead Ghostbur to realize that he needed to become Wilbur again. Being Ghostbur, being somebody with little to no strength or power whether it be physical or verbal, would only lead to more hardship and suffering for him and his friends. He realizes that he’ll never be taken seriously as he is, not even by those closest to him. Phil’s line at the end of their conversation says it all, “Someday, you’ll understand.” It’s a condescending line, as if he was speaking to a small child. It’s an assumption that Ghostbur’s current emotions and beliefs are incorrect, and invalid. It’s an assumption that Ghostbur doesn’t know what he’s talking about, and still has a lot of “growing up” to do. But Ghostbur can’t grow up. He can’t change, at least not in this form. He’s dead.

Ghostbur realized, through being forced to face suffering and tragedy head-first, that he couldn’t stay the way he was. And as sad as it is, it’s honestly such a fitting end to his arc. Through a situation that is similar to the one that Alivebur put everyone through, a situation that he had tried to repress from his memories, he realized that repressing all of his emotions and putting on a cheerful, child-like facade was not going to get him anywhere. Ghostbur is confronted with a horribly tragic scenario that he can’t ignore, can’t repress. He can’t pretend to be happy anymore and simply forget about what happened, since there’s nothing left to return to if he does. The only “understanding” that Ghostbur reached wasn’t the one that Phil and Techno were trying to teach everyone through violence and suffering. The understanding he reached was that he would never be taken seriously or have his emotions validated if he chose to stay as a happy, forgetful ghost. He needed to regain the sense of strength that Alivebur had, because that sense of strength is the only thing that will allow him to be taken seriously in this world. That sense of strength, of charisma, of verbal power and leadership, is the only thing that would allow him to truly be happy and not have to suffer anymore. He couldn’t go on repressing everything, which is a positive message that sadly came from a very negative situation.

Ghostbur had a fantastic arc, but what happened to him on Doomsday is still so, so sad. It wasn’t justified what was done to him, but it ended up furthering his character arc. He did learn a lesson, but it wasn’t the one that Phil and Techno were trying to teach. However, it was still one that sadly came from much more suffering and pain than he should have gone through. In a narrative sense, it’s extremely well-written for Ghostbur’s specific arc and very poetic. Yet, it was still someone having to learn through suffering and pain. Maybe that’s what had to be done, narrative-wise. Ghostbur had to be presented with a situation that he couldn’t repress or ignore in order for him to learn that his coping mechanisms would get him nowhere. But that doesn’t mean that what was done to him, the pain inflicted on him, was justified, and in fact, it was very tragic. All we can do is hope that from here, whatever happens to the newly resurrected Wilbur leads him to a future of healing, and at last, happiness.

[scrawnytreedemon]

Can’t sleep, mind going precisely 56 miles an hour, so I think I’ll finally get around to writing this.

Couples days back, I went ahead and finally psyched myself up to do the Zant bossfight.

Because I’d picked up where I’d left off yesterday, which was just before the boss room, obviously I was taken back to the beginning of the area. This gave the whole ordeal a trek, if a short one, what with the Palace of Twilight’s laughable length, and me more time to think.

I didn’t want to do this.

It sounds stupid, but I really didn’t want to do this. I’d cried the day before trying to psych myself up and failing, and I’d cried then, before the boss door, stalling by sweeping away the crystal-fog as best I could-- A meagre attempt at housekeeping, and a futile one. Of course I couldn’t. This isn’t that sort of game. This isn’t a game for failed attempts at kindness, at least trying to clean this awful, awful place for an awful, awful man going through awful, awful things. I was supposed to be a hero.

Heroes don’t make beds.

They don’t wash dishes, or hang laundry, or hold a rival’s hand,

They kill.

The trek didn’t stop past the door, either.

We still had to walk up the stairs. To the throne.

To him.

And I was there, laugh-crying, wishing I didn’t have to. That I could skip this pathetic ordeal.

I tried to turn around and leave.

Despite it only looking like a larger one of the many, many doors we’ve passed through this awful, nonsensical, poorly-designed excuse for a palace that no one could ever live in, it didn’t budge. There wasn’t any turning back. I had to go forward, because this is an action game, and violence is key.

The game takes the reigns. Link walks up to the throne, sword drawn, despite my deliberate decision to sheathe it. The narrative begins again. Midna sneers, and throws a taunt at him.

Zant sits, and smiles. Smiles like he thinks he still has some form of control, or knows full well he’s lost it.

You know, when I was working through the Palace of Twilight, I’d come to the realisation that... Zant locked himself in the throneroom. From the outside. Logistically, despite the good laugh I had over this guy locking himself in from the fucking outside, where his opponents can grab the key, he could get out easily-- teleportation and all. But even that aside, it still spoke to a level of hasty panic, that he would even keep the key outside, behind a waterfall of yet more shitty fog-crytals in the hopes that would deter them. Deter us.

How long had the guy been here, alone in that room?

We all know what happens next. Despite this being my first playthrough, I’ve probably seen this cutscene a dozen times. Zant has what amounts to an overly-dramatised autistic meltdown expositing himself and his motivations. That he was upset and felt like everything he’d worked for had been taken away from him. That he was angry, angry and fed up of being relegated to a half-existence. Midna retorts, Zant wails some more.

What gets me is that, when Ganondorf visits him, engulfs him in this flaming ball of fucked-magical-fuckery, he just. Stares. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t do anything. Ganondorf speaks as though he’s already decided that, yes, you will do, we will make a pact and rule Everything together; I will live on through you.

Did Zant even agree to this?

I think, subconsciously or not, he accepted it, but it begs the question of whether or not Zant was capable enough to partake in it.

Whatever the answer, he’s clearly not capable enough to partake in this. This fight.

It’s laughable, that I’m expected to find victory in this.

The fight was a fucking slog, 90% of the time. Some of these boss-battles I hadn’t played in nearly two years thanks to the impromptu hiatuses I’m so fond of taking, so I didn’t know what the fuck I was meant to be doing half the time-- And when I did, it lagged to shit everytime this poor bastard fired projectiles, because I was playing on the gamepad, because why on earth would I play this on the goddamn TV? It was a sad, pitiful encounter that I had to laugh my way through and also mumble “what the fuck“ on several occasions because I guess somebody at Nintendo ate cheese before bed and the dev team were so desperate to patch something together for this guy’s sudden crisis that they threw it in-- I’m obviously having a good laugh, but What The Fuck.

I knock the guy down in the last phase of the battle, the only one where he isn’t mimicking something else and dizzies himself spinning like a hyperactive child, and the game takes the reigns again. Midna prepares her hair. I look away-- I’ve seen it before, many times before, and it’s cartoonishly grotesque for a game that relies heavily on somber semi-realism. Midna has her own crisis-- And yeah, yeah bossbabe, I feel it.

It cuts back, and there’s a Heart Container on the guy’s throne.

I.

I killed a guy, and now I’m collecting his lifeforce. I stormed into the bunged-up attempt of a fortress conjured up as a last defense by a man who’s fallen head-first into insanity, tore through any meagre security measure like butter, murder the guy when he’s having an episode, he dies a fucked up death, and then I collect his lifeforce.

Is that fucked up or what?

For all of Zelda’s endless violence, rarely do you actually kill “people.“ It’s the kind of stuff reserved for the end, for Ganondorf, or some other corrupted nigh-demigod on the brink of losing their humanity, or never having possessed it.

We kill Zant.

Zant barely puts up a fight, and we kill him. Zant gets summoned from the netherworld by Ganondorf in Hyrule Warriors; we put him there in the first place.

If we were to view this from a literal, like this shit actually happened and these characters are to be held accountable standpoint, then what we did was justified-- If not wholly, then mostly. Zant got power-hungry, committed what amounts to a bio-terroristic coup on the government, disfigured his rival, a woman notorious for her beauty, then proceeded to attempt the same thing with Hyrule, leading to the indirect death of at least the people who got transfigured into Shadow-Beasts in Kakariko, and attacks you first, then yeah, no biggie?

But I’ll be fucking real with you chief, I don’t find it... I don’t know, persuasive? Effective? Compelling, would be the best word, to think of it that way?

What Zant is, is a narrative tool. One that was set up to be this big, bad interloper who you need to Take Down and Save Everything, as per usual Zelda format. The justification for why we should hate him, if I’m going to be honest, feels contrived, most of the time. He does some bad thing off-screen, Midna gets pissed, Midna and everyone within a 12-mile radius explains why we should be pissed in a way that often feels borderline developer-hand-y-- And that’s. Well that’s how Zelda usually is.

It’s justification to commit violence.

--To be clear, I don’t say this in a political sense. I mean it in the very literal “hit/kill a guy“ sense. And in all honesty, that’s kinda inherent to the ethos of action games. We enjoy catharsis-- We enjoy taking down big things, it’s satisfying! I’ve played a little Hyrule Warriors-- Loved the feel of it. Violence is inherent to even the most benign of action games, and it is what it is.

Where it falls short for me, is that with Zant, I don’t feel like I’m taking down some great foe that I should justifiably hate.

I feel like I’m a clearly more equipped person breaking into a room, and bludgeoning a mentally ill person.

I’m autistic. I may slot in easier to NT society than most, but I am autistic, and it makes me deeply uncomfortable to see something I’ve fucking gone through be used carelessly as flavour for a prelude to violence. I have meltdowns. They’re relatively rare, and mostly in my room, alone, but I’ve also experienced one out in public. It was only sobbing, but there’s a special kind of horror, of humilation in knowing other people, strangers, family, what have you, are seeing it, and all you can think is how much you failed.

I can’t fully articulate why I cried so much during this, quite frankly, menial ordeal. I’m half-embarrassed to even talk about it-- Because then that means caring too much, and I can’t care too much over a poorly-justified character that wasn’t even intended to be sympathised with and that most of the fandom laughs at. And I can’t say I blame them.

I guess at the end of the day it comes down to the ever-present pity; some strange, childish commiseration I’d indulged in ever since I was six and cooing over Bowser and how awful everything was for him, that despite my continuous efforts, I can’t ever seem to explain.

I didn’t like the Zant fight. It felt empty,

And all did was sweep cobwebs and try to turn back.

[thoughtpolicegames]

The Motif Way 4: Core Motif Engine Oracles

Core Motif Engine Oracles  is the 4th in a series of articles about "The Motif Way", the philosophy & design principles behind the Motif Framework and Runs On Motif games. As promised, we finally come to the core mechanic underpinning the Motif Story Engine and Runs on Motif games! The basic Motif Engine oracle is a 3d6 roll. It uses common six-sided dice almost everyone has and available even at corner stores and pharmacies. Each die represents a different factor for the roll. But why? What is the actual approach?

What are RPG "Oracles"?

Oracle is a term that gained popularity with GM-emulators, GM-less games, and solo RPGs. It is a dice roll, card draw, word dice throw, or other randomizing element used as a world or response generator. A Magic 8-Ball and Tarot readings are common examples of oracles used outside of roleplaying games. RPG oracles are used to generate answers like a storyteller and provide idea seeds for GM or player use. They different from typical roleplaying dice rolls in the depth of answer and being designed to answer questions, rather than model success probabilities. Some regular roleplaying game tools, like random encounter generators and core dice systems providing complex answers, could be considered oracles or to straddle the line between traditional RPG rolls and roleplaying oracles. In Runs On Motif games or sessions using the Motif Action Engine toolkit, they serve double duty as the both a story engine (GM-emulator) and as a resolution mechanic or core roleplaying system. The rolls are structured much the same. The primary differences are that character capabilities may affect the roll and that the answers are about player character actions, instead of world details and reactions. But it is essentially the same oracle set powering the answers.

Why Use Dice Oracles?

An oracle approach is ideal for solo RPG, GM-emulator, and narrative approaches to roleplaying games. The flexibility and basic setup favors emergent results heavy on genre and theme. The Q&A setup encourages thinking about the action in context and the overall emerging story. When used as a resolution system, an oracle style approach provides a different play flow and experience. Oracles provide a different feel from traditional roleplaying, even where mathematically equivalent. The classic roleplaying system typically frames things in terms of target numbers, probabilities, and binary action resolution. Some lean toward a more oracle-like approach with degrees of success or exceptional success and failure. But they usually approach things in a "mechanical" or calculation-centered way. Dice oracles place the emphasis on answering questions in context of the narrative. Rather than asking if you hit a target number or crunching the numbers in a system, you directly ask questions about the action and story. Ideally, a robust oracle system will provide nuanced or complex answers. Instead of asking if you hit a defense rating of X and matching numbers, you ask the oracles how well your attempt to fend off the intruder with your sword goes. Instead of rolling to see if you succeed on a perception check against a difficulty level of X, you ask the oracles if your character perceives any threats in trees. Even when using the same basic mechanics, it encourages both players and GMs to think of rolls and results in a different way. The term "oracles" itself helps in the same way as we noted genre and themes help drive play. People often think of dice as random number generators and probability models. Thinking of a dice oracle as a kind of answer engine, mock AI, or even GM-emulator yields a different result in the flow of play. The term lends itself to that through awareness, even if by vague association or in name only, of varied things like seance boards, magic 8-balls, and the Oracle of Delphi. The natural emphasis on story grounding and the flexibility of questions is a strength in roleplaying games.

Main Motif Oracles

The main oracles are a set of three simple six-sided dice with each representing a factor. The first die is the flat answer. The second die is strength or degree of answer. The third die is a special die with plug and play options called "flavors". We count them first to third from left to right or closest to farthest. Overall on Motif rolls, low is no, negative, none, or a similar result. In contrast, high is a yes, positive, many/lots, or a similar result. 3-4 in the middle can be used middling or mixed answers and outcomes. On the first die, it can answer any question that can be answered no/maybe/yes or fail/mixed/success. On the second die, low is weak or little and high is strong or a lot. The third "flavor" die is a descriptor like favorability or weirdness; low is absent or contrary and high is omnipresent or extreme. Say we ask the oracles with a favorability flavor, "Is there a back exit here?" We roll 4, 6, 2. That's a high strength mixed answer with low favorability. There is one but it has been unused for a long time and is blocked by old boxes and storage shelves. Or we could ask the oracles with a weirdness flavor if cultists are in the area. We roll 5, 3, 1. That's a medium strength yes with the contrary of weirdness (which in this context is ironically weird). There is indeed a gaggle of cultists. They are having a cookout. Perhaps it is the gathering before the bizarre ritual, but it is surprisingly mundane. Answer Variations The first die can be read as a binary answer, a simple yes or no. This is good to "devolve" to when mixed answers would be confusing. Simple move the 3 to the "no" end and But the real secret is that the die can answer any two or three outcome answer. This could be as simple as coming to a fork in the river and asking if the bad guys being chased go left or right. It could also be the answer when there are 2 or 3 distinct possibilities. For example, say a crime lord has three main assistants. Who is "on duty" when you arrive cause trouble? Assign the first option to 1-2, the second to 3-4, and the last to 5-6. Anything you can boil down into two or three main choices can be done with the answer die. Strength Variations Instead of pure degree or strength of answer, there are many variations that still measure the strength of the response. One simple example is interpreting the second die as a narrower type of strength. Rather than amount or degree, you can change the emphasis to intensity. It is good when the overall strength or amount is a known or obvious factor. We know there is a large angry crowd, but how intense are they? A slight variation of the same concept could be used to set the stakes or judge how much wiggle room in time to act. Another example of a strength focus is firmness. Rather than judging how intense or how much, it suggests how wholly true or resilient the answer is (how "firm" it is). A low result suggests the answer is uncertain, temporary, or easily changed. A high result suggests it is a firm fact and unlikely to change in the foreseeable action. Another approach is moving away from a number scale to "purer" answers. Assign "but" to 1-2, flat or simple answers on 3-4, and "and" with 5-6. This combines with the first die for "yes but", "yes and", "no but" and so on answers. It fulfills the key function of the die (answering the strength of answer) in a more improv or guided way. It trades the granularity and sense of scale of straight die results for the storytelling emphasis of "but" and "and". It is ideal for free-flowing games with a heavy storytelling tone. A variation the but/and option is instead going with penalty/bonus or disadvantage/advantage. Instead of "but" read it as a cost or disadvantage. Instead of "and" read it as a bonus or gained advantage. For many RPGs, this better fits the play flow and/or helps highlight the dramatic action. Some players also have a preference of thinking in terms of risk and reward or cost/benefit, but still wish to explore more narrative styles of gaming.

Interpreting Rolls

When interpreting rolls, keep in the context. What does it mean in a given genre of story? How does the level of zoom and what came before change the feel and nature of the answer? Hold onto your basic assumptions and the game flow when interpreting answers. If you are a secret agent and breaking into a supervillain's compound, you don't need a chart or special roll to tell you guards and minions are the likely foes. That is something you just know because you're playing a secret agent game and attacking a villain's headquarters. If you get a "yes" when asking if opponents are around, you know they are such villainous agents. If you get a weak answer and/or strong favorability, you may encounter but one or two weak guards. A middling result might be monstrous "pet" or security team, depending on the kind of villain. (Context!) A strong or unfavorable result may be a large force led by one of the "named" lieutenants of the Big Bad. Getting into less clear results, what about a mixed/maybe answer with a middling strength and favorability? Sounds unclear or muddled at first to some people. Still following the same example, keep it simple and stay in context. We are in the villain's lair and worried about their followers. So there is a mid-size crowd nearby but not in the immediate area. They are around the corner doing a training exercise. The protagonist(s) can ambush them or has a good chance to sneak by. Another one that can be confusing at first is when you get dice results that seem contrasting. As a different example, say we have adventurers who are trying to escape a labyrinth after defeating a necromancer. Their questions are generally focused on details that would help them get out. They have established the walls cannot be scaled and cannot be penetrated. They are asking about fresh paths to follow. One answer is a strong "no" with a high favorability. How can a dead end be favorable!? Generally, you can let character actions and questions determine the answer. The PCs may decide to look for clues of obscured or hidden paths. Or perhaps they think aloud that the traps and creatures need maintenance and start looking for small hatches and portals in the ceiling and floor. Give them a boost and/or offer new options to reflect the favorable circumstances. If it is a very high favorability result, you may skill any checks and simply point out the features as a result of their general search. The general idea is to let the overall setting and game flow naturally answer the questions. Do not overthink it. Keep it simple. The moment your intuition or knowledge has an answer, go with it. A big part of learning to use oracles and play GM-less or solo is learning to let go and let the flow do the hard work. Answers will seem clearer and there will be fewer opportunities to feel stuck. What if we have confusing or contradictory results in solo or when the players are stuck? Briefly think of the context and flow of things. If an answer is not forthcoming, you can do a few different things. You can "devolve" the roll. If a mixed answer is confusing, count a 4 as yes/high and 3 as no/low. You can reroll to see if a different result is clearer. If you have a good idea for what the answer should be, you can just follow that. Or you can skip over the question and move on the next thing. There is no reason to stop play for one roll. Keep things moving. We said all that and still have not talked about about flavors. What about them? Do not worry! We are talking all about flavors and how to use them in our next entry in the Motif Way series!

The Motif Way Series

1: Emergent Sandbox Roleplaying 2: Genre Rooted, Themes Supreme 3: RPG Focus and Flow 4: Core Motif Engine Oracles 5: Adding in That Storytelling Flavor 6: Hackable RPGs, Modular Systems, and Other Buzzwords 7: Patching Motif 8: Narrative Consequences in RPGs 9: Story First, Dice Last - 10: Devolving Dice Rolls & RPG Systems Motif Way Extras - Why Player Facing Rolls? Read the full article

[7-wonders]

Money, Power, and Glory

Summary: The sordid history of Duncan’s rise to the top, and hand-to-hand combat lessons that lead to other activities.

Word Count: 3855

A/N: Hello and welcome to another chapter of Memento Mori! I hope everyone’s had a fantastic holiday season. As my belated gift to you all, this chapter includes what everyone’s been waiting for: SMUT. A big thanks to my lovely angel @divinelangdon for letting me spitball ideas at her at any time of day, and to @lvngdvns for inserting the original ‘what if’ into the minds of this fandom.

Warnings: Murder, mafia, drugs, fighting, sex; what you would usually expect from a story about a mob boss.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

By all accounts, Duncan Shepherd is not a man known for showing emotion, unless that emotion is sadistic pleasure gained at the expense of others’ well-being. Nobody would describe Duncan Shepherd as patient or helpful, a gentleman or a teacher. Instead, Duncan Shepherd is often referred to as cruel, vicious, heartless, and bloodthirsty, to name a few. But most of all, Duncan Shepherd would not be described as weak. 

Duncan’s proud of the reputation that he’s cultivated through his few short years as the official “head” of the Shepherd family. However much he hates to acknowledge it, he has his strict upbringing to thank for that. 

An absent father who died when Duncan was barely old enough to walk, followed by rumors that the supposed grieving widow was the one who ‘accidentally’ gave her husband too many sleeping pills mixed with a hearty glass of aged bourbon with the endgame of joining her brother and building the Shepherd name into one of the most powerful monikers in Washington D.C. Being passed off from nanny to nanny, his mother and uncle too busy climbing their way up the elitist ladder to take care of the sole heir to the elaborate empire they were crafting. 

The Shepherd family had always been wealthy, but the wealth became exorbitant upon Annette and Bill’s foray into the underbelly of the city’s privileged class. Suddenly, Duncan was shipped off to the best boarding school in North America, with business and political skills instilled in him from the very beginning of his enrollment at the Andover Preparatory School (along with how to dodge punches and how to go on a coke binge and still show up for your 8 a.m. looking none the worse). Prep school was difficult, but it was much more preferable than being around his uncle.

Duncan’s met a lot of douchebags through his close association with the GOP, but Bill Shepherd embodies toxic masculinity. For a man so fond of collared shirts and quarter zip pullovers, he knew just how to emasculate even the most confident of men with a few well-shot insults. For his detested nephew, however, “a few” insults was a daily occurrence that could be counted on with the regularity of the rise and fall of the sun. The physical aspect of Bill’s temperament, slapping and punching and the feeling of his fingers digging into Duncan’s jaw as he commands him to “use your empty, good-for-nothing brain and just listen to me, god damn it,” marred Duncan’s late teen years. 

His uncle saw him as a threat. Even if Duncan wasn’t able to discern that himself from the increasing beatdowns, whether physical or verbal, as he reached adulthood, his mother was sure to remind him of that fact whenever he was younger and would come crying to her about the mean things that Uncle Bill had said to him. If he closes his eyes, he can still feel her hand carding through his light brown locks and her soft voice reminding him that everything under the control of the Shepherd name would be his one day, regardless of what her brother said. She never confronted Bill about the abuse, but she had tried, in her own fucked-up way.

Ultimately, Duncan has Bill to thank for his rise to the top of the Shepherd Freedom Foundation, Gardner Analytics, Shepherd Unlimited, and, of course, the Shepherd family itself. It was Bill who accosted Duncan after the young Shepherd had gotten into a gunfight with a rival group that had attempted to blindside him on his first solo meeting to restake territory claims over the different wards of Washington D.C. It was Bill who grabbed Duncan by the collar of his bloodstained black shirt, throttling him and bitterly spitting out that he would never be a “true” Shepherd. It was Bill who took a swing at Duncan, a horrified Annette frozen with fear across the room.

And, in the end, it was Bill who was too slow to react to Duncan pulling a knife out in retaliation and jabbing it into his uncle’s abdomen. Annette had screamed, but Duncan had hardly heard her over the sound of his blood roaring in his ears as he stared at his hands, soaked in the blood of his uncle who was on the floor and gasping for his last breaths. Duncan’s Goliath was finally slain, dead on the floor with blood slowly spilling out from the stab wound. His first murder had been his most difficult, and while the easiness of ending somebody’s life scared him, the fact that Duncan enjoyed killing his uncle frightened him the most.

It had been all too easy to frame Bill Shepherd’s death as a robbery-gone-wrong. Annette, already shaken from seeing her brother stabbed to death by her son, had been able to pull on years of experience with lying through her teeth to recount to police the harrowing ordeal of how she came to the building that housed the various Shepherd businesses only to see Bill bleeding out in his office. With the notability of the victim and the million dollars that had been stolen from the busted safe behind the bookshelf (in reality, the money was funneled into one of the family’s many offshore accounts, but that was neither here nor there), the case was textbook open-and-shut.

The “grieving” Shepherds had publicly vowed that their figurehead’s death would not be in vain. They would build on his legacy, just as he would have wanted. Behind closed doors, Annette had begrudgingly admitted that Duncan was in the right when he shoved a blade into Bill’s stomach, especially upon seeing just how capable of leading Duncan was. More money, more power, more territory, more influence: the more the Shepherd family became a name at the forefront of every conversation about the VIPs of Washington D.C., the more determined Duncan was to reach the top. He would stop at nothing to be better than his uncle, to prove to him one last time that he was more of a man than Bill Shepherd, cold and rotting six feet under, could ever be. 

So maybe people are right when they refer to Duncan Shepherd as a callous, cruel, bloodthirsty, monster of a mob boss. But Duncan is certainly not weak.

Why, then, does he feel so weak when he’s around (Y/N)? The woman shouldn’t even warrant a passing thought, not when Duncan has far more important matters to be dealing with. He should have killed her; it would have been far easier, and created less of a lasting effect (for Duncan, at least). Yet, when he heard about how she nearly scaled a wall when attempting to run from some of his men, and when he saw the fire blazing in her big eyes as she spit at him when he tried to touch her face, he knew he couldn’t.

Duncan’s found it impossible to stop thinking about last week’s shooting lesson. How she looked to him for guidance on what, to Duncan, is the most basic of tasks. Her defiant comments that make him angry while simultaneously making him chuckle. Her wide smile when she hit the target. The smell of her hair as Duncan loomed behind her to check her sight.

The way that her body slotted perfectly against his when he closed his hands on top of hers.

Duncan’s stirred out of his unusually soft reverie by the chiming of his phone. An email notification from one of his tech employees shows on the screen, the subject line warning him of an extended search of his name and family in the metropolitan area. It may sound conceited, but any search taking place within a 30 mile radius lasting longer than a few minutes carries with it the potential of a threat against the empire that Duncan has so carefully built. He’s sure it’s nothing, but clicks on the email just to be certain.

His eyes scan quickly over the contents of the message, noting the IP address and the approximate length of said search. The IP address traces back to a physical residence, the location of which makes Duncan smirk. It’s (Y/N), and he has no doubt that he’s been on her mind just as much as she’s been on his. Finding her file (because of course Duncan Shepherd is going to have an extensive file for every person he’s ever interacted with) on his computer, he types her number into his phone and sends her a short text.

���Training tomorrow, 3 p.m., same location as last week. Oh, and the next time you’re interested in learning more about me, you need only ask. -D.S.”

//

The embarrassment of knowing that Duncan Shepherd knew that (Y/N) was searching for information about him still controls her emotions as she readies herself to once again meet the notorious mob boss. She thinks she would rather die than see the triumph that sparkles in his crystal blue eyes of the knowledge that she cannot stop thinking about him. 

In (Y/N)’s defense, it was merely an informative search. Not being from the area, she figured that it would be a good idea to learn a little bit more about the man she is now indebted to for the foreseeable future. What she had learned was sad and brutal, but also what she expected. Wikipedia described a rich boy who was coddled until he was old enough to receive a position at the top of one of his family’s companies, while the gossip tabloids loved to speculate on the true amount of wealth that the family possesses. Forbes Magazine called him a bright, young entrepreneur whose tenacity was forged out of the tragedy of his uncle’s murder, and the Washington Herald painted a compelling narrative of various criminal activities and how they lined up with events in the rise of the Shepherd family.

(It’s probably no coincidence that, shortly after the three-part investigative story had been released, the Herald’s editor-in-chief, Tom Hammerschmidt, was found floating face-down in the Potomac river with a bullet lodged in his head. The official cause of death was ruled a suicide, but the popular rumor is that a furious Annette demanded his murder.)

She could skip today’s proposed “training” with Duncan, but that’s useless when he knows where she lives and can quite literally kill her for refusing his demand, so she slips on a pair of black workout leggings and a purple-and-white patterned sports bra.Throwing a sweatshirt on, (Y/N) quickly grabs a water bottle and her phone before rushing out the door so as not to be late. Although she doesn’t know much about Duncan’s personality, she assumes that he hates people who are late.

The man in question is waiting inside the doors of the high-end training gym when (Y/N) enters, slightly out of breath from nearly running to make it in time. A small smile starts to spread across his face as he appraises her outfit, and (Y/N) self-consciously crosses her arms over her chest.

“Sorry that my clothes aren’t right off the runway like yours,” (Y/N) says as she gestures to Duncan’s figure. While he’s wearing workout clothes as well, his joggers and zip-up hoodie carry an air of wealth with them.

“They’ll do.” (Y/N) huffs as Duncan spins on his heel, repeating the same procedure as the last time they were here in order to get through the private door. 

There’s training mats set up in the open area next to the shooting range, and Duncan waits until (Y/N) places her stuff against the wall before walking to a bench and grabbing a roll of athletic tape. “We’re not doing shooting training today?” (Y/N) asks.

“No, I feel like you have a pretty good grip on shooting. Today I’m going to teach you how to fight, as that will most likely be what will happen if you do get into an altercation while under my orders.”

“When am I not going to be under your orders?” She rolls her eyes as she pretends not to watch Duncan take off his hoodie and reveal his strong, muscular arms. (Y/N) realizes that she’s never seen Duncan in shirts that didn’t have long sleeves, the monochromatic tattoos that decorate his skin coming as a bit of a shock.

“Once I decide that there’s enough to implicate you in crimes as well, if you were to ever run to the police.” She scoffs as he holds out his hand. “Give me your hand.”

She shouldn’t talk back, she knows, but she’s feeling defiant after hearing just how Duncan plans to keep her quiet. “Why?”

“This tape isn’t for me.” Giving her hand over, (Y/N) watches as Duncan swiftly wraps her wrist, checking the support of the tape on the joint before repeating the process on her other wrist. “This will help make sure you don’t injure anything. While the main goal today is to make sure you know how to take down an opponent, I also want to know that you know how to effectively punch somebody.”

Duncan lets go of her hands, and (Y/N) takes off her own sweatshirt before joining him in the center of the training mat. He’s conspicuously not looking at her chest, and (Y/N) bites back a laugh at the polite behavior of the crime lord before her. “Hold your hand out in a fist,” Duncan commands.

His eyes are narrowed in calculation as he studies her fist, adjusting her thumb so it’s on top of the space between the first and second knuckles of her index and middle fingers. He’s a good teacher, and he explains his reasoning as he makes adjustments, “you never want to have your thumb tucked inside your fist. You’re almost guaranteed to break your thumb that way.”

“Thumb on the outside, got it.”

Duncan steps back, holding his arm up with his palm facing (Y/N). “Punch my hand.”

“What?” (Y/N) looks at him warily. “I’m not going to punch you! What if I hurt you?”

“I promise you won’t hurt me,” Duncan says with a laugh. “Now punch.”

(Y/N) squares her shoulders, rearing her arm back before punching Duncan’s hand as hard as she can. He nods, and she punches once more, this time with her other fist. “I’m impressed,” Duncan says, “you punch really well.”

“I’ve taken a couple of self-defense classes in the past. They didn’t teach punching, but they did teach how to throw your weight into your hits.” Duncan’s eyes flash with a hint of pride, and (Y/N)’s chest uncharacteristically clenches at the thought of making him proud.

“Great, then we don’t need to work too much on that. Unwrap your wrists and we’ll practice some sparring.”

It seems like a good part of her life lately is following Duncan’s directions, but (Y/N) complies anyways. Duncan’s joggers look like they were tailored specifically for him, his black tank top showcasing the tattoos (Y/N) had found herself staring at earlier. This time, Duncan does notice. “Do you like my tattoos?” Duncan asks with a smirk.

“I just--you don’t seem like the type of person to have tattoos,” (Y/N) stutters.

He quirks an eyebrow in amusement. “I’m a mob boss.”

“Still don’t seem like you’d have tattoos,” she mutters before placing her hands on her hips. “What’s the goal here?”

“The goal is to take me down. When you’ve had me on my back for five seconds, today’s training will be over. However, there will be no dirty moves, got it?”

“But kicking someone in the balls is okay if I’m fighting an attacker, right?”

“Yes, but not in a practice scenario.” Duncan starts to slowly circle (Y/N), watching as her spine stiffens under his gaze. “I suppose I should warn you that I will not make this easy for you. You will be fighting to win, not fighting to learn.”

(Y/N) nods, turning to stop Duncan from pacing around her. He takes two steps back, standing in a defensive stance as (Y/N) attempts to get a feel for how to spar. She snaps her arm towards Duncan suddenly, in an attempt to catch him by surprise, but the man simply blocks it with a quick dodge.

The punch leaves (Y/N) defenseless, and Duncan lunges forward to shove her. He would never actually punch her; he’s been trained in combat since he was 10, and she learned to throw a proper punch 10 minutes ago. It would be unfair of him to swing at her, so Duncan settles for pushing her instead.

(Y/N) attempts to regain her footing, but Duncan’s too quick. His arm wraps around her neck in a chokehold, and (Y/N) gasps for air as she tries to wriggle out of his grasp. Avoiding panicking, (Y/N) thinks desperately to the aforementioned self-defense classes, trying to remember any of the acronyms the instructor swore would save the class’s lives one day.

Rearing her arm towards her body, (Y/N) swings her elbow back as hard as she can to elbow Duncan in the stomach. He releases her with a pained groan, obviously not expecting that move, and she turns around and kicks at his leg. 

“Fuck you,” Duncan gasps out, stumbling backwards but refusing to fall.

“Fuck you!” (Y/N) retorts. “You tried to choke me out!”

“And I warned you beforehand what you were getting into.” The two move warily, neither person wanting to make the next move. (Y/N)’s eyes crackle with anger, and Duncan grins wildly at the fierce expression she wears.

He swings once again, (Y/N) dodging before punching him in the chest. Duncan seizes the opportunity to sweep her leg with a well-placed kick, and (Y/N) goes falling to the mat with a thud. She inhales heavily, trying to get her lungs to work again after having the air knocked out of them. (Y/N)’s barely able to scramble backwards before Duncan is on top of her, his legs straddling her waist as his hands pin her wrists above her head.

Chests heaving, both Duncan and (Y/N) glare at each other as he waits for her to give in, but she refuses to admit defeat. She becomes acutely aware of the fact that Duncan is pinning her down to the mat with his weight, his strong hips against hers making movement impossible. It’s borderline-indecent, and (Y/N) chides herself for finding being held to the ground any shade of arousing. Although she can’t tell if she wants to kick him or kiss him right now, she knows that Duncan feels the same when he glances from her eyes to her lips, and back again.

“Can you get off of me?” The end of (Y/N)’s sentence is muffled as Duncan presses his lips to hers.

The shock of being kissed by the man who just defeated her at sparring quickly wears off as (Y/N) eagerly reciprocates the action, feverishly kissing him back. Her hands flex in Duncan’s grasp, desperate to grab onto any part of him as a way to ground herself. Duncan refuses to acquiesce, so she brings one leg up to the back of his knee and applies as much weight to the vulnerable area as she can.

“Ah!” Duncan groans, the buckling of his knee giving (Y/N) the opportunity to flip them over. Now it’s she who has the upper hand, grinding her hips down harshly on him as she kisses him once more. Duncan licks at her bottom lip, attempting to gain access to (Y/N)’s mouth and getting frustrated when she refuses to let him slip his tongue into her mouth. He’s done playing nice, and nips at (Y/N)’s bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. He moans when the copper taste of blood hits his tongue, (Y/N) pulling away and panting harshly.

“You fucking asshole, that hurt!” Duncan just chuckles, flipping them over once again and roughly yanking her leggings and underwear down her legs. (Y/N) lets out a surprised moan when Duncan’s finger runs over her clit, collecting some of her burgeoning arousal and using it to slide effortlessly into her cunt.

(Y/N) is not the type of person to engage in casual sex with a person she hardly knows. She’s not even sure she’s had an actual one night stand before; the couple times that she had, it’s been with somebody she knew fairly well. So to be under the most dangerous man she’s ever met, his fingers buried inside her as he works her open, is certainly unlike her. It would, however, be impossible to deny that she’s not thoroughly enjoying this endeavor.

One hand grabs at Duncan’s bicep, and (Y/N) briefly admires the elegant script inked into his skin. Her other hand goes to grab at his sizable bulge, gripping onto his erection as roughly as he’s currently fingering her. Duncan lets out a choked groan at the sensation that’s both painful and pleasurable. Once he’s decided that neither party can handle the tension any longer, he withdraws his fingers from her cunt and pulls down his pants.

After (Y/N) gives his shaft a couple of quick strokes, Duncan lines himself up with her entrance and thrusts into (Y/N)’s tight walls. Matching moans ring out through the training room as Duncan begins to set a quick and deep rhythm. (Y/N)’s hips snap upwards, meeting Duncan’s as the two thrust in tandem. Every other sound, feeling, or experience fades away as Duncan continually bottoms out in (Y/N)’s cunt, his balls slapping against her ass. Her head lolls back against the ground, giving her the perfect chance to admire Duncan’s lustful expression and how his hair falls into his face with each sharp roll of his hips.

(Y/N)’s head begins to spin as Duncan’s rhythm begins to stutter upon nearing his orgasm, and she bites down on the juncture of his neck and shoulder in an attempt to muffle a scream as she cums unexpectedly. He cries out at the sharp pressure of her bite and the fluttering of her walls, speeding up his thrusts before pulling out and tapping at (Y/N)’s bottom lip with the swollen head of his cock. 

She turns her head towards him, eyes glazed with lust as she opens her mouth. Duncan only needs to thrust into his fist a few times before he cums in (Y/N)’s mouth with a deep groan. Her lips are painted white with his seed, and he nearly cums again when she licks it all up before swallowing with a content hum. Duncan collapses next to (Y/N), whose bones feel as if they’re made of Jell-o. As they both come down from their highs, (Y/N) has only one thought on her mind: What the hell did they just do?

//

Tag list: @sammythankyou @girlycakepops @ultragibbycentralworld @ajokeformur-ray @nana15774 @queencocoakimmie @lichellaw @grim-adventures58 @dandycandy75 @trimbooohgodplsnoooo @everything-is-awesomesauce @ccodyfern @jimmlangdon @omgsuperstarg @queenie435 @dextergirl12345 @sloppy-little-witch-bitch26 @kahhlo @storminmytwistedmind @1-800-bitchcraft @langdonslove @cuddletothecake @born-on-stgeorges-day @xavierplympton @michaelsapostle @hecohansen31 @venusxxlangdon @idespac @tcc-gizmachine @hexqueensupreme @wroteclassicaly @queenmismatched @youngandfleeting @hecatemacbeth7 @lambofcairo @myluciferiscody 

[wellmetkinsman]

here’s a take: I literally cannot stand serial killer media.

the only exceptions for me were Criminal Minds cause it was character driven with a solid plot (for a while) and Dexter cause it was hilarious and made for a good drinking game

(note how both these were fictional. i’m straight up not watching the nonfictional ones, though I have seen plenty before growing up in the time before netflix and before I dived into youtube)

*AT BEST* you can pretend it’s not real and just enjoy the horror movie thrill of it all?

at worst — and this is the main point — it’s either a demonstration of the ignorance/apathy of, or the *CELEBRATION* of the sociological factors that create a serial killer (in America, btw): the consequences of the inescapable white male hegemonic nature of our culture.

> Hatred of women — mandated both implicitly and often explicitly by parents, other family members, friends, indeed western society as a whole, then worstened by an abusive upbringing and/or undiagnosed, untreated, or simply unnoticed mental health concerns.

> Financial insecurities. Yes this is the norm for most, *excruciatingly* so, but, in my opinion, a white man finding himself financially insecure — especially one brought up in an entitled, conservative household, let alone entire culture — is more prone to lashing outward at perceived aggressors than inward. It is an unequivocal fact that crime, violent or otherwise, is primarily a consequence of financial insecurity, which leads to essentially a forced foregoing of morals and social norms in order to continue to subsist. *However,* as we know from serial killer media, serial killers, insofar as they are not simply a murderer — meaning a person who has caused the death of someone else one or more times with varying levels of intent, ranging from reasonably non-accidental, to planned and intentional murder — are rarely brought about by a single motivating factor. Serial killers — repeated/habitual murderers, often with explicit intent, habitual/ritualistic behavior, compounding crimes such as sexual violence, etc — are propagated via a particularly virulent concoction of overlapping factors that are simply not present in other people that have committed a murder. Factors which, indeed, set them apart and render them prime content for speculation, discussion, and media consumption. All of this is to support my point that financial security affects us all, but that it creates the necessary conditions in white men in America in particular to become violent and antisocial, indeed occasionally to the point of engaging in serial murder. TL;DR: entitlement plus the rest of the factors on this list.

> Religious trauma. I’m tempted to simply say enough said and move on, however, I’ll save myself another bullet point by saying that this is the primary reason that homophobia is a partial motivation for serial killers. If you’ve even a cursory knowledge of American serial killers, you know the primary example(s), and can agree that it’s more than clear that being told — again, implicitly or explicitly, by one or more persons close to the killer or simply by media, and therefore more broadly “society” — that there are essentialist, objective truths, essentialist, objectively “good” and “bad” people (let alone good and bad behaviors themselves), that YOU are but one decision away from engaging in objectively bad behavior and becoming an objectively bad person, and then being told that ANY interest — no matter how potentially inconsequential— in those assigned the same gender as you is objectively evil, and in fact perhaps the most unforgivable evil one can commit, creates a specific form of internalized hatred of oneself that compounds and renders one stunted and incapable of healthy interactions with themselves and others.

> Mental health. This is truly the most nebulous point, yet I’m coming to believe that it is the perhaps the one least worth considering in the *formation* of a serial killer, though perhaps not in the analysis of their behavior. Why? Because it has become increasingly clear, especially in the era in which we live, that we are all more than capable of exhibiting behavior which can be considered a mental illness as it is currently defined. Without dipping into the nature vs. nurture rabbit hole, the best explanation for this that I have settled in is derived from the theory (the name and creators of which escape me) that we all have varying levels of disposition for “mental illness,” and that environmental factors therefore need to push us in varying degrees in order to manifest it. The effect of the pandemic on our behavior and mental health has been the primary factor in coming to this conclusion for me, however, it cannot be overstated that behavior deemed negative by society that has been understood previously as mental illness is often a product of financial insecurity. (It’s Capitalism. it’s the Capitalism. In case that’s not clear). Anyway, while I do understand that our brains are capable of being formed in different conditions and experiencing different conditions, the point is that perhaps nearly ALL of us experience these conditions — albeit in infinitely various ways — but that these conditions **DO NOT LEAD PEOPLE TO BECOME SERIAL KILLERS IN AND OF THEMSELVES.** Mental health concerns, when noticed, diagnosed, and treated with care, empathy, and attention by a network of support, are things that can be dealt with in a healthy way, and can even bring about a deeper appreciation of who we are and how we can interact with the world in better ways. The notion that schizophrenia = murderer, OFTEN PERPETUATED BY SERIAL KILLER MEDIA, has done nigh irreparable harm to our perception of the condition, and indeed our understanding of mental health/mental illness as a whole.

There are obviously infinitely more factors to consider than simply these, however, when looking at the statistics of serial killings in America and perhaps abroad as well, the trends skew towards white men spurned noticeably by the aforementioned conditions. I cannot pretend that it’s not true that I would not know this if not thanks to the Pychology courses I have taken in both high school and college, as well as both fictional and nonfictional serial killer media, however, it is not the serial killer media that brought me to any sort of nuance in my understandings.

**THIS** is where I make my point. Serial killer media almost ALWAYS is not made to raise awareness. It is not made to any of the aforementioned real, ubiquitous, and oft completely unaddressed issues in our society. It is almost always not made to benefit any of the affected communities: see parents and priests interviewed when discussing a serial killer with clear religious trauma and internalized homophobia. And finally, IT IS NOT ALWAYS EVEN PRODUCED IN SUCH A WAY AS TO CONDEMN THE BEHAVIOR OF THE KILLER, TO A HORRIFYING DEGREE.

Serial killer media does not always constitute or lead to an explicit defense, appreciation, fetishization, or lionizing of the serial killers that it discusses, however, it has become evident that it can, and does, and apparently to an increasing extent.

Again, to me, it’s the Capitalism. Insofar as coverage of horrible circumstances can be sold and consumed more effectively when sensationalized, constructed around a central figure, and presented with increasingly minimal nuance — that is not to say increasingly minimal detail, look at how much the lives of serial killers are scrutinized down to the absolutely microscopic level — so as to create a narrative, that narrative will do as narratives do. At least in the west, almost the entirety of our media consists of stories that follow the hero’s journey, with all its hegemonic influence (straight, cis, white, male, Christian influence, implicit or explicit). That is to say, it will create a hero out of a narrative.

Finally, wherever or not one enjoys serial killer media and forms what I would deem an unhealthy interest in the serial killers themselves is, to me, ultimately inconsequential. This is my personal taste and opinion speaking, this is not a broad statement about the media, but I do not believe that it is worth consuming. I believe that serial killers and the socioeconomic/political/environmental/etc,etc factors that bring them about are worth *understanding,* as this understanding can bring about awareness both of the forces that influence our lives and the ways in which we can better influence ourselves and those around us, however, I do not believe it is meant to be dwelled upon. Essentially, once the average person such as myself has enough understanding about the topic — as much as I need in order to say I got it, and it won’t benefit me or my job or my relationships or my schooling in any tangible way to continue to dwell on it — I believe it’s time to move on. This is because I believe the things we dwell on tangibly affect our lives. I’d rather spend my limited amount of time dwelling on things that bring about deeper appreciation of life. This means that for me I spend my free time outside, or consuming media that seeks to help us understand or appreciate something, even if it’s not always sunshine and rainbows.

I mean... I just... don’t wanna sit around all day and look at the same disheveled white guys and the same grossly, wildly inappropriately sexualized bloody bodies of primarily young, conventionally attractive women. I don’t find it personally enjoyable, but I also don’t believe it brings about positive results in the understandings and behaviors of many of the people that watch it, especially those without the cursory understanding of sociological and psychological concepts and economic factors that I’m lucky to have with my stupid little bachelors degree. As a Leftist, I truly believe it is responsible for reinforcing the poor societal conditions we find ourselves in, as it seeks not to explain or condemn the factors that perpetuate our situations, but to gloss over or even excuse them at best, or indeed to actively encourage and being about them at worst.

This isn’t to say I want all media to be utilitarian and pleasant, or that serial killer media shouldn’t exist, I simply believe that there is a certain threshold in which either the production of or excessive consumption of it becomes irresponsible and potentially harmful to an individual or to society as a whole, and that, at the very least, American obsession with it has reached a genuinely concerning state.

I’ll leave you with this: my favorite line in the book “My Year of Meats,” which I was assigned to read by my favorite gay, Latino professor, who’s research and works are intentionally influenced by his indentity and experiences, is the line in which the protagonist reflects on America’s intrinsic obsession with violence, especially insofar as it prevents us from forming positive connections with eachother and the world around us and making positive steps toward the future, laments that “ours is a bloody culture.”

[kob131]

Weiss Vs. Mitsuru Death Battle

First off, let me address some points that really irritate me.

‘Persona characters can beat up Gods!’

No, that’s SMT you’re thinking of.

Persona characters aren’t that strong. With Nyx, SEES only ever fought the Avatar (which is never stated how strong it is) and the actual Nyx was only fought by Makoto. In fact, if you take a look at the details of each ‘god’ incident: Makoto sealed Nyx, Izanami’s true form was only ever defeated by Yu and Yabbadoth was only truly defeated by Ren.

Even if we consider them the last two ‘gods’ (we’ll get to that): They aren’t defeated by anyone except the main characters. All of whom are treated by the narrative as being FAR more powerful than their members combined.

Even then, only NYX is an actual god. The others. Izanami and Yabbadoth, are effectively giant Shadows. That’s because Shadows are constructs built by humanity’s collective unconscious and Izanami and Yabbadoth are created from the people trying to ignore the truth and the people warped desires for peace of mind respectively. This is also why they are defeated so easily while Nyx is never defeated: Shadows can be harmed and destroyed by Personas as they are the same kind of creature. Nyx is neither and plays by a completely different set of rules.

Hell, the likes of Izanami and Yabbadoth are really unimpressive when you compare them to the likes of Metatron or Lucifier in SMT. Those guys can legitimately destroy the world like gods while Izanami and Yabbadoth can struggle to effect the world so it kind of tells me Atlus considers them lower in power than Gods (backed up by how Nyx can actually destroy the world.)

Why am I bring this up? Because I know people are gonna point to Erebus as a gotcha and everything I just said about Izanami and Yabbadoth also apply to Erebus (as it’s the collective desire for Death.) And the wild card thing still applies as Aegis gained Makoto’s Wild Card power (and in fact is stronger than Yu.)

‘Erebus is said to crush mountains!’

Said. Never shown. The only possible way for us to quantify this is through using Erebus’ in game stats. And while a STR stat of 80 is strong...Junpei outclass Erebus at Level 99 with 82. So unless anyone has proof that his Persona at least can bust a mountain, I can only assume that the statement was made to be dramatic. Especially considering this statement was said about 4 seconds before Elizabeth one shots this thing.

Not like Weiss is excluded from this bullshit.

‘Aura is infinite!’

That’s stupid and is blatantly untrue.

‘Weiss’ Summon can stop Artemista!’

That’s debatable at best as I don’t know how Aura relates to Personas.

Now let’s actually discuss this battle.

First, I wanna discuss both of their summons. Weiss is able to summon the Armor Gigas, which is a Grimm-possessed suit of armor about three times her size with immense strength (been shown to easily tear apart stone floors with the force of it’s massive broadsword) and durability but is rather klunky and slow. And the Queen Lancer, a giant bee-like Grimm with inherent aerial mobility along with projectiles in the form but it’s not as durable as the Armor Gigas (shown when Hazel punch a Dust blast at it and it dissapated without any shown damage before hand.) And finally the Boartusk...which is pointless. They also take more time to summon than a Persona but

Mitsuru meanwhile has Artemtisa whose rapier doubles as a bladed whip, can use ice attacks as well as being shown to quickly freeze objects around it (as shown in the Persona 4 movies like in the second one where it stabs into the Hierophant shadow and freezes it after being weakened as well as in the third movie where it froze the petals from the Strength Shadow.) In regards to the ice attacks, in Persona 4 Arena she’s shown to be able to create simple constructs from the ice like spears or a mirror. It can also use status effect moves such as Marin Karin and Tentafuroo to disable and cripple the opponent as well as a full power single target healing spell in Diarahan. She can also temporarily boost the power of her next magic attack with Mind Charge by 2.5 times it’‘s normal strength, And finally it has complete ice immunity, meaning ice based attacks do not work on it as well as being immune to non-Shadow enemies.

Issue is that Artemisa is never really shown to be very durable. It’s usually batted away and dissipated with one hit by stronger shadows (albeit in it’s weaker form as Pentelusa) and if we really wanna include gameplay, it has the lowest possible endurance stat in P3. It’s also locked into ice attacks which makes Artemisa’s attacks more predictable, it’s status effect attacks have a base success rate of 25% (if someone can give me the claculations for how the LUCK stat affects the success rate, I’ll adjust with Mitsuru’s 51 LUCK stat). And Artemtisa is weak to fire, which at the very least involves taking 50% more damage. I’ve also never seen Mitsuru and Artemisa act in tandum with each other, with Mitsuru usually treating Artemisa as an extension of herself rather than a separate entity to Mitsuru.

In short: I believe Mitsuru’s Persona is generally better than Weiss’ summon in a direct comparison due to being more powerful and having more skills than the summons but in terms of being used by others, while it is definitively more powerful as well as having a natural immunity to ice, the fact that the summons can act independently of Weiss means Artemisa can be limited in usage.

Now let’s move onto the skills of the combatants.

Weiss’ summons are in fact just an extension of her actual power, a Semblance (ie superpower) known as glyphs which allow her to create platforms in mid air to move around on as well as use as basic shields (she did so in her brief fight against the Boartusk ) Then using a finite resource known as Dust, she can make her glyphs turn dark and effectively change gravity, making the person stick to the top of the glyph. Her glyphs have also been known to add force behind people or objects, such as in Volume 3 Episode 4 where she was quickly launched from glyph to glyph  Weiss also has acess to other forms of Dust, including Ice Dust in which she can create icicles to attack her opponent or walls of ice which have been seen to be able to trap a complex sized scorpion’s stinger within it for a few minutes. She’s also a skilled rapier user as shown through her victory over the Armor Gigas.

Mitsuru has...everything I listed above above with Artemisa, alongside being a skilled rapier user as well (I’d argue better than Weiss but not by much seeing as she’s shown to be effective against lesser Shadows but rarely fighters greater enemies with her own rapier.) Her Persona is her skills aside from her weapon usage.

In terms of skill/versatility, I’d say in a straight rapier fight Weiss would lose but combine that with her glyphs and dust and she’s able to fight on a more even ground with Mitsuru using her Persona as well.

In terms of mobility:

Weiss has access to her glyphs which can be used to leap about in mid air using them as platforms as well as gravity dust allowing for more flexible movement, not to mention how the Queen Lancer is capable of being used as a pseudo ship to move around on.

Mitsuru has...nothing special I can remember. She’s not especially agile nor do her skills give her any extra mobility.

Next we have defensive ability-

They both suck.

Weiss’ track record of losing 1v1 fights is due to her opponents being able to dish out a lot of damage (The WF lieutenant being a buff chainsaw wielding fighter, Flynt’s Trumpet requiring the force of Yang going berserk to break through and Vernal straight up blasting through her ice wall AND Armor Gigas).

And Mitsuru’s Persona dissipates after one good hit while she isn‘t the best at taking hits herself (being disabled from pain by a grazing lazer beam that cut her leg by the Fortune Shadow in the second movie.)

Neither person is good at enduring hits.

Intelligence...

Um, both are consider top of their grade and trained to take control of large corporations. Mitsuru makes more detailed plans but Weiss is able to adjust better...

... I honestly say this is a tie.

Experience.

... This is highly subjective. Neither one began their training at a definitive time, Mitsuru is three years older but by virtue of how tiring the Dark Hour is she can’t fight shadows everyday unlike Weiss with Grimm but Weiss is also younger...

You can see why I have a difficulty making a judgement.

Stamina

Well, Weiss’ best stamina feat is fighting Grimm for an entire day, getting a small amount of sleep before proceeding to fight the White Fang as well as more Grimm...

But Mitsuru’s best feat is her fighting off the hordes of Shadows in the final Persona 3 movie which were more intense and more numerous.

I dunno, I say any difference between the two likely wouldn’t make a difference.

You can understand why I’m a bit nervous about this battle.

The combatants have similar backgrounds, similar feats and similar skills so they’re very matched in a lot of regards and the few things they do have over the other seem to be countered by their own weaknesses (like Mitsuru’s sheer power would beat Weiss down easily if Weiss didn’t have better mobility options and more tools to work with.)

It’s also a reason why I find the reactions around the announcement rather infuriating as when you remove the iffy factors from both sides: the battle doesn’t have a clear winner yet.

All I know is: I hope Weiss loses so Ben and Chad don’t get burned at the stake and so I can shove it DB hater faces about them being biased.

[theculturedmarxist]

Directed by Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck; written by Boden, Fleck and Geneva Robertson-Dworet

The production and release of Captain Marvel, the new science fiction superhero adventure from Marvel and Disney, has a number of remarkable features, but none of them involve the film’s drama, action or characters.

Briefly, Captain Marvel, in convoluted fashion, follows US Air Force pilot Carol Danvers (Brie Larson) who absorbs an awesome energy source, making her potentially “one of the universe’s most powerful heroes ever known,” according to the film’s publicity.

However, six years later, she is suffering from amnesia, doesn’t know who or what she is and has become a member of the repressive Starforce Military under her mentor Yon-Rogg (Jude Law). The shapeshifting Skrulls, the apparent enemy, force Danvers to crash-land in the US in the mid-1990s. But all is not what it appears. Danvers discovers secrets about herself and about a “galactic war” between two alien races.

Not much of this is interesting, although it is noisy and “action-packed.” Captain Marvel, as a film, is predictable, empty and tedious. The more “sensitive” scenes on Earth, focusing on Danvers and her African American friend Maria Rambeau (Lashana Lynch) and daughter (Akira Akbar), are possibly the most contrived and least convincing.

The first genuinely noteworthy fact about the new film, not surprisingly, concerns money.

Disney, the film’s distributor, is the world’s largest media company, with some $100 billion in assets. With a market value of $152 billion, it ranks as the 53rd largest company of any kind in the world, just behind Total (oil and gas), Merck (pharmaceuticals), the Bank of China (one of the four leading state-owned commercial banks in China), Unilever, DowDuPont and BP.

Media reports place Captain Marvel’s combined net production and global marketing costs at $300 million. To date, the film’s global box office stands at $774 million.

Captain Marvel is truly “corporate entertainment”—i.e., the very process by which it came into being prevents it from being entertaining or enlightening in any meaningful fashion.

This type of large-scale, officially sponsored filmmaking, whose success is avidly promoted and tracked by the media and business publications in particular, inevitably intersects and overlaps with other aspects of American establishment culture. In the case of Captain Marvel, this means militarism and feminism specifically.

The US Air Force was involved in the production of Captain Marvel.

In fact, Task & Purpose reported that Marvel Studios launched the official start of production “with a photo of Larson, and Air Force Brig. Gen. Jeannie M. Leavitt, then-commander of the 57th Wing and the service’s first female fighter pilot, atop an F-15 at Nellis Air Force Base in Nevada.”

“To prepare for her role, Larson,” according to The Wrap, visited the Air Force base “to join simulated dogfights. The film’s red-carpet premiere included testimonials from Air Force men and women and a flyover by the Air Force’s Nellis-based Thunderbirds.”

Task & Purpose, a website that follows the American military, also cited the emailed comments of Todd Fleming, chief of the Community and Public Outreach Division at Secretary of the Air Force Public Affairs: “The Air Force partners on any number of entertainment projects to ensure the depiction of Airmen and the Air Force mission is accurate and authentic. Our partnership with ‘Capt Marvel’ [sic] helped ensure the character’s time in the Air Force and backstory was presented accurately. It also highlighted the importance of the Air Force to our national defense.”

“[Captain Marvel] is not part of a recruiting strategy but we would expect that audiences seeing a strong Air Force heroine, whose story is in line with the story of many of our Airmen, would be positively received,” Fleming said.

The issue of female recruitment is no small matter. American imperialism, recklessly gearing up for war against Russia, China and other rivals, needs vast new supplies of human fodder. Task & Purpose explains, “The spotlight on airmen [in Captain Marvel] comes at a time when the Air Force, like the other services, is hunting for the next generation of pilots. The Air Force, Navy, and Marine Corps are all short 25 percent of their pilot billets, according to a GAO [Government Accountability Office] report published this summer; the Air Force in particular has doled out cash incentives like candy in a vain effort to prevent pilots from defecting to the private sector. Indeed, the branch’s plan to increase its number of squadrons by 76 to Cold War levels will require an additional 40,000 personnel, further straining the service’s recruitment capabilities. At the Air Force Academy, female cadets are increasingly encouraged to vie for pilot spots to help bridge that gap.”

Larson, who has made all sorts of useless (or worse) comments about #MeToo, alleged sexual abuse and her own “social activism,” like most of affluent Hollywood, is entirely oblivious to the criminal role of the US military, the greatest source of terror and “abuse” on the planet by an order of magnitude of 100 times or more.

The female heroism in Captain Marvel, of course, has been greeted with plaudits. Entertainment Weekly noted excitedly that the film would “mark the first time a woman will be headlining her own solo superhero movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It also marks the first time a woman will direct a superhero film for Marvel Studios: Anna Boden will co-direct with her Mississippi Grind partner Ryan Fleck.”

The hope is that Captain Marvel will do “for women” what Black Panther did “for African Americans”—which is, of course, nothing whatsoever, except for a small layer of prominent studio executives, writers, performers, etc.

This comment from Deadline is typical: “One film finance source believes that it’s pretty much certain that Captain Marvel will see $1 billion around the world and break the glass ceiling for female-led pics at the global B.O. [box office], dashing past Wonder Woman’s final global of $821.8M.”

As is this Vox headline: “Why Captain Marvel’s milestone status creates so much pressure for it to succeed—Why Captain Marvel represents more than just a superhero movie.” The article proposes to answer these important questions: “What does a woman superhero mean for Marvel Studios and the MCU [Marvel Cinematic Universe]? What are the takeaways from Captain Marvel’s already overwhelming box office success? What does the film have to say about feminism? What might have happened if it had flopped? And who gets to shape the conversation and narrative surrounding it?”

The final and perhaps most remarkable feature of Captain Marvel involves its writer-directors. (And, secondarily, its performers. What are Larson, Jude Law and the talented Australian actor Ben Mendelsohn, whose acting in The Land of Steady Habits we recently praised, doing in this rubbish?)

We have made the point previously on more than one occasion about the objective significance of the “long march” of numerous so-called independent or art filmmakers toward empty-headed, “blockbuster” movie-making. We noted the examples of Steven Soderbergh (Ocean’s Eleven, etc.), Alan Taylor (Terminator Genisys), the Russo brothers (the Captain America and Avengers franchises), Kenneth Branagh (Thor), Christopher Nolan (Batman Begins, etc.), John Singleton (a Fast and Furious installment), Lee Tamahori (Die Another Day, one of the James Bond fantasies), Marc Forster (another of the Bond films, Quantum of Solace), Sam Mendes (yet another Bond film, Skyfall) and Patty Jenkins (Wonder Woman).

To that list, one can add the more recent examples of Jon Watts (two Spider-Man films), Taika Waititi (Thor: Ragnarok), Ava DuVernay (A Wrinkle in Time) and Ryan Coogler (Black Panther).

In a number of these cases, the filmmakers had earlier indicated vaguely oppositional political views or a certain concern at least for the fate of broader layers of the population.

The lure of large amounts of money is obviously an issue. But perhaps the more pertinent question is: what are the social and ideological conditions that make writers, directors and performers susceptible to this “lure”? It is not inevitable. Artists, including in the US, have been known to repudiate such offers with contempt. Almost inevitably, however, such resistance has been rooted in political and social conceptions and opposition of a left-wing character, sustained by a confidence in the better instincts of the population and its willingness to struggle. Those conceptions and that confidence are sorely lacking today.

The directors of the dreadful Captain Marvel, Ryan Fleck and Anna Boden, should not be entirely unfamiliar to readers of the WSWS, although the context—big-budget Hollywood—may be unexpected. We have reviewed two of their films in the past, Half Nelson (2006) and Sugar (2008).

The Atlantic notes with surprise that Fleck and Boden “until now have worked in the realm of quiet, sensitive indie films.” More than simply “quiet” and “sensitive,” Half Nelson centers on an obviously left-wing high school teacher working at an inner-city school in Brooklyn.

A 2006 New York Times article about the making of Half Nelson is worth citing. The Fleck-Boden film, wrote Dennis Lim, “is a political allegory, a film about a would-be visionary who wants to change the world but can’t get his act together and is often his own worst enemy. It’s not a stretch to read it as a comment on the sorry state of the American left.”

“‘That was more or less conscious,’ the film’s director, Ryan Fleck, said of the political subtext.” Fleck and Boden “started writing Half Nelson … four years ago, as the Bush administration was preparing to invade Iraq and the antiwar movement was gaining momentum. ‘It felt like we were going to protests every other week,’ Mr. Fleck said recently. ‘But ultimately you don’t have the energy to do it all, and you feel like you’re doing very little. A big part of the frustration was the inability to make meaningful change.’

“The activist spirit comes naturally to Mr. Fleck, who was born to socialist parents on a commune in Berkeley, Calif. As a child he was taken to rallies and protests. As a teenager he read Noam Chomsky and Howard Zinn.”

In an interview with Slant magazine, Fleck, asked about religion, replied jokingly “I was raised communist.”

Fleck and Boden’s Sugar, about a Dominican baseball player playing in the minor leagues in the US, the WSWS commented, was “about immigration and acculturation, capitalism and exploitation, hospitality and loneliness.”

Now, a decade later, Captain Marvel.

The same 2006 Times article referred to above contained this passage:

“Mr. Fleck said he hoped that their future projects would remain, however obliquely, rooted in a sense of social justice. ‘Filmmaking is kind of a vain hobby when maybe we should all be taking to the streets,’ he said. ‘But it seems irresponsible not to be informed by politics in some way.’

“Ms. Boden’s idealism is more tempered. ‘I don’t have an inflated sense of what a movie can do,’ she said. ‘But you can at least try not to put something out there that you don’t believe in.’

“Mr. Fleck added: ‘That’s a rule we try to follow, to not put garbage in the world.’”

Unfortunately, they have now.

[aion-rsa]

Harry Potter Characters That Were Lost in Film Translation

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When all is said and done, the Harry Potter book series is 1,084,170 words long. So it’s only natural that, in fitting each novel into a roughly two-hour film, some story elements would need to fall by the wayside. Characters and entire subplots are chopped into bits and pieces to fit the new, abridged narrative structure. Peeves disappears entirely. This is why so many fans of literature always seem to prefer the book to the movie—how could they not, with all the sumptuous little details that text invariably seems to add to the experience? 

But while you may be able to come to terms with the fact that the plot needs to be truncated to meet the needs of cinema, it’s incredibly frustrating when characters are changed, often for the worse, when they’re still given a significant amount of screen time that could be utilized in a more faithful adaptation. There are plenty of Harry Potter characters who, in their translation to the screen, die by a thousand cuts, and whose effectiveness within the story is blunted by inexplicable changes that completely redefine who they are, especially in relation to other characters. Here are the movie characters who deviate in the most frustrating ways from their book counterparts…

Nymphadora Tonks

That Tonks first shows up in the movies looking like a 14-year-old who tried to dye her hair purple using grape Kool-Aid and it has already half faded out (instead of a bright, vivid lilac like it is in the books) may be a small thing, but it’s a harbinger of how her character will be presented in the films. As written, Tonks is a bold, irreverent wise guy whose comic antics would give Fred and George a run for their money. But, in each of her appearances in the later Harry Potter films, it’s as though the joy and energy has been sucked out of her. 

Read more

Movies

Harry Potter: How Prisoner of Azkaban Changed Young Adult Cinema Forever

By Kayti Burt

Books

Why Scorpius Malfoy is Our New Favorite Harry Potter Character

By Kayti Burt

She’s supposed to be the new addition to the Auror crew, a rookie who is eager to finally be out in the field, but from the very beginning, she already comes across as serious and battle-worn. We get one scene with her using her power to change her face at the dinner table for a laugh— which is presumably more to introduce the concept of a Metamorphmagus than to really establish her sense of humor—and maybe a single quip with Mad-Eye Moody, and that’s it. 

In the books, Tonks is a bright, energetic twenty-something, but you wouldn’t know it from the way she’s immediately lumped in with the older group of witches and wizards. And because she’s so serious right from the jump, it changes the dynamic of her romance with Lupin: now, they’re just two warriors who fall in love, whereas before there was a touching element of her bringing light and youthful energy to his life.

Barty Crouch, Jr.

Well, what to say about good old Barty Crouch? In Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, he is introduced as the son of a high-ranking Ministry wizard who throws his lot in with Voldemort in a stupid, pointless show of loyalty and cruelty by torturing Frank and Alice Longbottom even after Voldemort had already disappeared. That he is still a teenager at this point, pale and terrified-looking, has an impact on how we view the court proceedings: no matter how terrible a person is, it’s emotionally effective to show him crying for his parents, driving home how young and easily manipulated he is. It’s a reminder that Voldemort tore apart families in many different ways, not just by murder and torture, but by corrupting his young followers to the point where they are completely indoctrinated and lost to their parents. 

David Tennant’s performance, however, has none of this subtlety. From the moment he turns up on camera, gnashing his teeth and incorporating a strange, snakelike tic with his tongue, he essentially puts up a giant neon sign saying, “VILLAIN.” His Barty Crouch is almost cartoonishly evil, and much older, so all the nuance and any sense of vulnerability in his character is lost.

Sirius Black

There’s a lot to love about Gary Oldman’s portrayal of Sirius Black: he gets a lot of the fatherly bond with Harry right, and the idea that Sirius sometimes forgets that Harry isn’t James is well-executed. But the book version of Sirius had a roguish, devil-may-care quality, even after years in Azkaban, that Oldman is somehow lacking. As we see him in the film Prisoner of Azkaban, he leans into mania during the Shrieking Shack scene when he confronts the trio, whereas in the book, he’s almost chillingly calm and composed, full of steely determination and a heart set on revenge. 

Read more

Movies

Why the Harry Potter Film Epilogue Never Stood a Chance

By Audrey Fox

TV

Harry Potter: What an HBO Max TV Series Could Be About

By Nick Harley

The later films fail to capture either his sardonic wit or his mercurial nature, as he is trapped in the house that made him so miserable as a teenager. All of the sequences that feature the Order of the Phoenix are hurt by a need to be incredibly serious to show that the threat of Voldemort is real, failing to grasp the nuance that, just because you’re involved in important and dangerous work doesn’t mean that you’re somber and humorless all the time. This tendency hurts a lot of the adult characters, but especially Sirius, who has few opportunities to showcase the extroverted qualities that best define him.

Ron Weasley

Let’s talk about how the films siphon away all of Ron’s good character traits and give them to Hermione, leaving him a gibbering mess useful only for comic relief. In the books, the trio is well-balanced: they all bring different kinds of intelligence to the table. Hermione is book smart but can sometimes struggle to put her knowledge to practical use, as we see in Sorcerer’s Stone where Ron tells her to start a fire to escape the Devil’s Snare and she panics, saying that she doesn’t have any wood. Ron, by comparison, is a strategist. He’s notably the best out of the three at chess, and can think on his feet in terms of tactics in a way that neither Harry nor Hermione are capable of. 

That’s book Ron, though. Movie Ron never stood a chance as soon as the filmmakers realized that Rupert Grint was funny, and screenwriter Steve Kloves admitted a marked preference for Hermione as a character. He’s not only stripped of his intelligence, but he’s not even given the dignity of maintaining the practical knowledge he would have amassed having grown up in the magical world. When Draco Malfoy calls Hermione a Mudblood in the book version of Chamber of Secrets, Ron is the only one of the three who fully grasps what an offensive slur this is (and, to his credit, immediately reacts in her defense). In the film, inexplicably, Hermione is already fully aware of the cultural weight of the term. If the movie versions of Harry and Hermione don’t need Ron to explain wizarding things to them, and he lacks his uniquely strategic mind, what purpose does he even serve?

Ginny Weasley

Look how they massacred our girl! In terms of disappointing book-to-film character adaptations, Ginny is perhaps the most egregious. In the book, she is a pure force of nature. She moves on from her puppy dog crush on Harry and becomes her own person, realizing that there’s no point sitting around waiting for someone who may or may not ever like you back. Ginny is confident, powerful, and sex-positive in a way that few of J.K. Rowling’s prim characters manage to be. She dates around and gives Ron an earful when he starts to judge her. Ginny is genuinely funny, and you can see the similarities between her and older brothers Fred and George. 

But none of that is in the movie: Ginny is depicted as Harry’s awkward love interest and nothing more. She gets one or two moments that showcase that she’s a powerful witch, and we see her dating other characters (mostly so the film can show that Harry is jealous), but that’s kind of it. Bonnie Wright is sweet and she does everything that’s asked of her, but her performance as Ginny doesn’t have any of the vivaciousness that people loved the book character for. 

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

It certainly doesn’t help that they utterly mangle the romance between Harry and Ginny. Case in point: their first kiss. In the book, Harry kisses Ginny in a moment of instinct while celebrating her achievements on the Quidditch field. In the movie, they share a tentative, barely there kiss in the Room of Requirement that Ginny initiates and then says, “That can stay hidden up here too, if you like.” Somehow, disappointing doesn’t quite cover it.

The post Harry Potter Characters That Were Lost in Film Translation appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[hudsonespie]

Breaking Down the US Navy’s Blueprint for a Blue Arctic

With climate change and an increasingly unstable international order, the U.S. Navy is releasing new Arctic strategies at an accelerated pace. 

Five years after it published the 2009 Navy Arctic Roadmap, it came out with the Arctic Roadmap: 2014-2030, in step with the Quadrennial Defense Review published that year. Although the updated roadmap’s title made it seem as if the document were supposed to stick around, five years later, it was replaced by the February 2019 Strategic Outlook for the Arctic.When asked by reporters why the Navy was already revising its strategy document just four years after its publication and 12 years before its supposed expiry date, then-U.S. Chief of Naval Operations Admiral John Richardson retorted, “The Arctic triggered it. The damn thing melted.”

Less than two years later, the Navy evidently feels that the situation has changed again enough to warrant yet another update. Last week, it released its Strategic Blueprint for the Arctic, which replaces the 2019 outlook. The new blueprint does three main things, which I break down below:

It represents the Arctic as an American homeland rather than frontier, encompassing three oceans stretching from Maine to Alaska

It marks Russia and China as enemies

It portrays the Arctic as a navigable blue ocean rather than an inaccessible frozen periphery

A three-ocean Arctic homeland

The 2019 outlook described America’s Arctic following the definition codified by the 1984 Arctic Research and Policy Act, which encompasses the lands and waters in Alaska north of the Arctic Circle, along the Bering Strait, and in the Aleutians. The 2019 outlook also used the US Arctic Research Commission’s very basic map of the region, seen below.

The map included in the U.S. Navy’s 2019 Strategic Outlook for the Arctic.

In contrast, the 2021 Strategic Blueprint for the Arctic takes a more expansive view crossing three oceans, from the Atlantic to the Arctic to the Pacific. The document opens by describing the area encompassing the United States’ Arctic interests: a huge swatch of land and sea “stretching from Maine in the North Atlantic across the Arctic Ocean through the Bering Strait and Alaska in the North Pacific to the southern tip of the Aleutian Island chain.”

It may come as a surprise to see Maine mentioned before Alaska. For the northeast state, which only began leaning into its Arctic connections a few years ago (once Icelandic shipping company Eimskip began regularly calling at the port of Portland), this is a pretty big coup. The blueprint also directly references Maine’s participation at the annual Arctic Circle conference, which testifies to the Icelandic gathering’s importance for track two Arctic diplomacy.

Despite this geographically more expansive stage-setting, the Navy still acknowledges the same definition of the term “Arctic,” following the 1984 legislation. However, it now uses a map borrowed from the State Department with a widened scope that captures and labels three oceans – the Atlantic, Arctic, and Pacific – along with the capitals of Russia and Scandinavia. The eight Arctic Council member states are labeled, too. So is Maine, representing a small but important edit to the original State Department map. Finally, while the borders of various Asian countries, including China, remain visible in the 2021 map just like in the ARCUS map included in the 2019 blueprint, the actual countries remain unlabeled.

The map included in the 2021 U.S. Navy Strategic Arctic Blueprint.

If the American Arctic is really going to become a home, however, it will need a lot more investment in infrastructure. In a press conference on January 5, US Navy Secretary Kenneth Braithwaite recounted a recent trip to Adak, Alaska, where he had been stationed as a young pilot. He remarked, “Unfortunately, it looks like the set from a zombie apocalypse, to be very honest with you. That’s a very harsh environment, it’s been very harsh on the infrastructure there. It would cost an inordinate amount of money to reopen it.”

The Navy thus recognizes that more ports and facilities are needed but doesn’t specify plans for any investments in the blueprint. Instead, it seems like it will put its energy into improving its posturing, exercises, and fleet synchronization while fretting about the ports that countries like Russia and China are seeking to improve or control. Meanwhile, the Navy may have to keep relying on other friendly countries’ Arctic infrastructure, as Secretary Braithwaite stressed:

“There are other options that we have to be able to operate out of other airfields in that part of the world, in the Arctic. Of course we have our partnerships with our NATO allies: there’s a new air station opening up in Evenes, Norway, that can support both the P-8 and the Joint Strike Fighter.”

It wouldn’t be America without baseball in this icy field of dreams. In the photo of the first-ever baseball game at the North Pole played by members of USS Seadragon in August 1960, TM2 SS Thomas J. Miletich is up at bat while Lt JG Vincent Leahy playing catcher. Source: National Archives/Mariners Museum

From conquering to domesticating the Arctic

The Navy’s interest in sketching out a wider Arctic region—one that protrudes northward not only from Alaska but from the Lower 48, too—supports the force’s effort to transform the Arctic from a frontier into a homeland. The blueprint mentions the word “frontier” zero times, while it mentions “home” five times.

The apparent domestication of the Arctic was already underway in the Navy’s 2019 outlook, which clearly set out its three strategic objectives for the Arctic as follows:

2019 U.S. Navy Strategic Objectives in the Arctic

Defend U.S. sovereignty and the homeland from attack

Ensuring the Arctic remains a stable, conflict-free region

Preserving freedom of the seas

The Navy’s three strategic objectives in 2019 aligned with the country’s three national security interests expressed in the Department of Defense’s 2019 Arctic Strategy, which define the Arctic in three ways: “as the U.S. homeland, as a shared region, and as a potential corridor for strategic competition” (here directly mentioning the need to constrain China and Russia).

Now in 2021, the Navy’s three objectives have broadened. The need to have a presence is expressed in more general terms, while the aim of strengthening naval capabilities has replaced preserving freedom of navigation.

2021 U.S. Navy Objectives in the Arctic

Maintain enhanced presence

Strengthen cooperative partnerships

Build a more capable Arctic naval force

In trying to lay a claim to a wider slice of the Arctic and recast the region as American homeland, the blueprint emphasizes the navy’s historical presence in the region by referencing past expeditions by American explorers and military personnel. It also makes sure to namedrop not just the white men who led these missions, but their team members, too, whose knowledge was critical to their success.

For instance, the blueprint notes: “Just as [Robert] Peary, a Civil Engineer Corps Officer, led successful Arctic expeditions – together with Matthew Henson, Ootah, Egigingwah, Seegloo, and Ooqueah – this regional blueprint recognizes the long-term challenges and opportunities of a Blue Arctic – and the role of American naval power in. (No mention is made of the doubt that many historians, including Dennis Rawlins writing in the U.S. Naval Institute’s Proceedings in 1970, cast on Peary’s claims to being the first at the North Pole in 1909.)

A photo of the Robert Peary sledge party posing with flags, allegedly at the North Pole, on April 7, 1909 from the National Archives. The official caption reads, “Ooqueh, holding the Navy League flag; Ootah, holding the D.K.E. fraternity flag; Matthew Henson, holding the polar flag; Egingwah, holding the D.A.R. peace flag; and Seeglo, holding the Red Cross flag.”

References to a historical American presence in the Arctic – one that is diverse and inclusive, no less – bolster the narrative that the U.S. has successfully tamed the region and lend confidence to the belief that the U.S. can maintain an enhanced presence today. A parallel can be drawn with the conquering and settling of the Western frontier in the nineteenth century, which U.S. historian Frederick Jackson Turner (in)famously declared “closed” in 1890. By becoming a part of the American homeland, the Arctic no longer represents the enemy to be conquered. Instead, the country’s northern home has to be defended from new enemies at the doorstep.

Russia: From friend to enemy

In the introduction, immediately after describing America’s Arctic homeland as a region stretching from Maine to Alaska, the blueprint names America’s enemies in the north: Russia and China. The document posits, “Without sustained American naval presence and partnerships in the Arctic Region, peace and prosperity will be increasingly challenged by Russia and China, whose interests and values differ dramatically from ours.”

The casting of Russia as the enemy is striking given that just a little over a decade ago, the 2009 Navy Arctic Roadmap repeatedly pointed to American naval cooperation with the Russian Navy, Russian Border Guard, the Russian-America Long Term Census of the Arctic Ocean, and the Tiksi Arctic Observatory, located on the Arctic shores of the Russian Far East.

Happier days in 2010 onboard the Russian research vessel Professor Khromov during a joint US-Russia expedition to the Bering Strait. Photo: Aleksey Ostrovskiy/RUSALCA (NOAA). 

There were peaceful times in the past, too, even if the blueprint overlooks these in favor of a focus on Cold War-era enmity. The document notes, “Over 150 years ago, USS Jamestown stood our northern watch as the U.S. flag was raised over Alaska.” Left out of the story is the fact that this historical moment marked the peaceful passing of control over the territory from Russia to the U.S. in Sitka, the former seat of the Russian American Company in Alaska (even if we acknowledge that both empires’ reigns destroyed livelihoods and lifeways for Alaska Natives). Rather than pay homage to these more cordial times, the blueprint evinces a deep suspicion of Russia’s Arctic activities, which it interprets as a “multilayered militarization of its northern flank.”

This cold and combative description contrasts with depictions of the American Arctic, which use cozier turns of phrase like “our local Alaskan and indigenous communities.” No such language is used to characterize Russia, despite the fact that the ethnic, cultural, and linguistic ties connecting people across the Bering Strait run deep.

China: A near- non-Arctic state

If Russia is the friend that’s been uninvited to America’s Arctic housewarming, China is the new kid on the block that the U.S. seeks to keep out in the cold.

China – or rather “The People’s Republic of China,” as the blueprint names it, underscoring the bogeyman’s communist status, is described in even harsher terms than Russia. China is not just undermining global interests and degrading security in the region, as the blueprint claims of Russia. In fact, China’s growing “economic, scientific, and military reach…presents a threat to people and nations, including those who call the Arctic Region home.” I’m left scratching my head as to whether this means the Navy thinks that China would present a threat to Russia, since the latter calls a greater territorial extent of the Arctic home than any other northern nation.

The blueprint’s fixation with China, which it mentions six times (versus Russia’s nine times), is striking – especially seeing as the country was totally absent from the Navy’s 2009 Arctic blueprint. Consider the international governments and militaries listed then as having an interest in the region:

Japan is the only Asian country listed, and China is nowhere to be found.

While the Navy’s 2021 blueprint doesn’t make any mention of China’s claims to “near-Arctic” statehood (unlike the 2019 Department of Defense’s Arctic Strategy, which actively contested it), the department slipped up in its press release by announcing, “The blueprint places focus on the rising maritime activity spurring from Arctic states, like Russia and China.”

Klaus Dodds, professor of geopolitics at Royal Holloway, University of London, was among the first to catch this mistake. Puzzled, he wondered, “Did they mean to say this???”

The Navy has since corrected what must have been a typo (but at the same time, perhaps a subconscious acknowledgement of the fact that China cannot be overlooked in Arctic relations). The press release now states, “The blueprint places focus on the rising maritime activity spurring from Arctic and non-Arctic states, like Russia and China, which pos­ture their navies to protect sovereignty and national inter­ests while enabling their ability to project power.”

To nobody’s surprise, the U.S. Navy did not issue an erratum.

Wild blue yonder, tame blue Arctic

Representing the third notable development with regard to the Navy’s shifting perceptions of the Arctic, the blueprint repeatedly uses the phrase “Blue Arctic.” The evolution from white to blue mirrors predictions that over the next two decades, the Arctic region will become increasingly navigable and ice-free. As a result, the Navy asserts, “Our defense posture must be regularly and rigorously assessed to adapt to a Blue Arctic.”

To adapt, the Navy will seek to grow its presence in the Arctic not only underwater, where its submarines have accumulated over 70 years of experience, but on the increasingly open and accessible surface of the ocean, too. The Navy aims to achieve this by “regionally posturing our forces, conducting exercises and operations, integrating Navy-Marine Corps-Coast Guard capabilities, and synchronizing our Fleets.”

Massive joint military exercises like ICEX, the U.S. Navy’s biennial “submarine force tactical development and torpedo exercise,” have helped evaluate and enhance American naval preparedness for operations in the Arctic. Whether the navy can keep up with other countries like Russia and China remains to be seen.

Acknowledging the Transpolar Sea Route

Pointing to another central dimension of the blue Arctic, the 2021 blueprint elaborates upon the 2019 strategy’s mentioning of the Transpolar Sea Route, the shipping route via the North Pole that could emerge once sea ice melts sufficiently in summertime in the next two decades. The blueprint indicates, “The projected opening of a deep-draft trans-polar route in the next 20-30 years has the potential to transform the global transport system.”

As I’ve written about previously on Cryopolitics and in a 2020 paper in Marine Policy, the Transpolar Sea Route would represent the most direct maritime link between Europe and Asia. It could also facilitate access to new fishing grounds in the Central Arctic Ocean should the 2018 moratorium not be renewed when it expires around 2034.

Defending the virtual homeland with C5ISR

It’s not just the physical environment that the Navy deems important to protect: the virtual one is, too. The blueprint states that the Navy will “assess and prioritize C5ISR capabilities in the Arctic.” That’s shorthand for “command, control, communications, computers, cyber, information, surveillance, and reconnaissance” – a mouthful confirming that the world has come a long way from C2, or “command and control.”

The military’s domain awareness in the Arctic is limited by a lack of satellite and terrestrial communications, as a report by the Department of Defense in 2016 warned. Making investments in remote sensing, ice prediction, and weather forecasting are crucial to closing this gap. At the same time, the U.S. will likely keep its eye on China, which recently announced that it will launch a new satellite to monitor Arctic shipping routes next year.

Yet enhancing C5ISR involves more than just being better able to determine whether the next day will bring snow or sleet. The U.S. Army rather chillingly describes the term as “technologies that enable information dominance and decisive lethality for the networked Soldier.”

But, not to fret. The Arctic is America’s homeland, and, as the blueprint reminds, “The United States will always seek peace in the Arctic.”

This article appears courtesy of Cryopolitics and is reproduced here in an abbreviated form. The original may be found here.

from Storage Containers https://maritime-executive.com/article/breaking-down-the-us-navy-s-blueprint-for-a-blue-arctic via http://www.rssmix.com/

[kieranconveyma]

Annotated Bibliography

Bacher, H and Suryavanshi, S (2019). Vision: Colour and Composition for Film. 2nd ed. London: Talisman Publishing.

This source was in particular interesting to me as although it’s not a how to guide it has taught me a lot on colour theory and was a big help to me on the final year on my bachelors and have been referring to this book this year to further improve my texturing, rendering and lighting skills and what colours affect the emotions or situation that the character is feeling or doing. I also particularly enjoy the pages on The Anatomy of an Image and The Power of Colour, This book was also recommended at my previous university by lots of experts such as Dan Kelby or Jahirul Amin who came in as a guest lecturer and for a talk with the creative media courses.

Bouchard, S, Bernier, F, Boivin, E, Guitard T, Laforest, M, Dumoulin, S, Robillard, G. (2012). Modes of immersion and stress induced by commercial (off-the-shelf) 3D games. The Journal of Defense Modeling and Simulation: Applications, Methodology, Technology. 11 (4), 339-352.

This research paper is about how 3D games can be used in the army to help train soldiers and can also be useful for stress management within the platoon or brigade. I found it useful as it contained lots of deductive arguments, using this resource can be a way of training soldiers using Virtual Reality but a bit more stress free although they are getting a real-world simulation experience to help them train for realistic scenarios but within a safe-space before they enter a conflict or warzone. I mostly found it interesting as it gave the various and unexpected areas for 3D could be needed for such as for the army.

Burgan, K (2013). Game Design Theory: A New Philosophy For Understanding Games. Boca Raton: CRC Press. 75.

This chapter of this book explains how far we have come in the games history although its been quite a short history and games have only been around since the 1970s, it has developed so rapidly within that time and we have gone from the Magnavox Odyssey and its video games all the way to modern day games where its world is almost indistinguishable from the real world on the modern day PS4 and Xbox One in a 50 year history. This explains about the seven key generation of games have developed as they went through huge breakthroughs in that time period especially during Generation 3: The Fantasy Simulator and Generation 4: The Perfect Storm. As explained in the book 3D games that looked increasingly realistic started to come during the 5th Generation.

Geslin, E, Jegou, L, Beaudoin, D . (2015). How Color Properties Can Be Used to Elicit Emotions in Video Games. The Journal of Defense Modeling and Simulation: Applications, Methodology, Technology. 1 (1), 7.

This resource helps to explain about how to use colour scripting to help elicit the players emotions within a video game, this was about the authors using academic research into developing a tool into how the colour properties and conducting and this journal paper is about how the authors developed professional research into this. The circumplex diagram model below demonstrates a clear picture on how the scenes using real example really helps to show how light affects the dynamics and environments within the game and has helped me understand a bit more in depth about colour theory and what each colour areas create.

Granic, I, Lobel, A, Engels, R (2013). The Benefits of Playing Video Games. Nijmegen: American Psychological Association. 68-73.

Within the paragraph of this journal this explains about the benefits of gaming which provides a lot of information about what different psychological and intellectual skills that it can improve, I feel this could be great information to learn about when putting into practice in selling a game if I was to develop one, the chapter also explains a lot about the scientific studies that have gone with helping to justify the positive aspects of the video game industry and will definitely do well for marketing and helping me to potentially advertise my games and also help me to justify ideas and why I used certain methods.

 Hager, I., Golonka, A. and Putanowicz, R., 2016. 3D Printing of Buildings and Building Components as the Future of Sustainable Construction?. In: International Conference on Ecology and new Building materials and products. [online] Krakow: Cracow University of Technology, pp.293-295. Available at: <https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1877705816317453> [Accessed 1 December 2020].

This resource I found in particular interesting as it explains a lot about 3D printing and how it could be the future of construction which is another area that 3D could be useful. There have been some good examples of when this has been used such as the Chinese company WinSun company and the Dutch company Dus Architects I did want to look into 3D printing as a potential side role that I could be capable of as the 3D printing industry evolves in the coming decades this paper demonstrates mainly to me about how fast 3D designs are combining with the construction industry, this also states the materials used and how this can be 3D printed.  

 Lyon, N, Leitman, D, Zhu, J. (2016). Combining Speech Intervention and Cooperative Game Design For Children With ASD. Digital Games Research Association. 13 (1), 2-5.

I found this resource useful and interesting as it explains how I might be able to help people and give back to those who have the same condition as me, but are more severe, this does a lot to help teach autistic people about emotions and try to get in touch with how they are feeling as they generally have trouble expressing themselves both through expressions and communication. This also helps give me the idea of how I could potentially include sensory elements to further appeal to Autistic people all over the spectrum and helps me with what appeals to that demographic.

 Mazurek, M, Engelhardt, C (2013). Video Game Use in Boys With Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD, or Typical Development. Columbia, MO: American Academy of Pediatrics. 263-264.

This essay was useful to me because it gives an account of research of video game use within the population of people who have ADHD or are on the Autism spectrum, this is particularly relatable to me as I am on the Autism Spectrum myself, this gives me a depth of research of within my own demographic as most research is neurotypical biased due to them making up far more of the population than people on the spectrum. I also found it interesting that people on the spectrum or have ADHD play video games more often although this is due to the intensive interest nature of people on the spectrum or the fact ADHD people in general have a greater need than neurotypicals to be kept busy.

 Murphy, J. (2017). Virtual Reality Is ‘Finally Here’: A Qualitative Exploration Of Formal Determinants Of Player Experience In VR. Digital Games Research Association. 14 (1), 3 and 6.

This resource has taught me a lot about the theory behind virtual reality which is a topic Id like to explore more about as I’d potentially like to study this for my PhD, as virtual reality is such a new industry and in the future has so much potential to be the new way of a gameplay or television viewing experience. This resource explores about the players experiences and the psychology behind the player when playing the video game. This has stated that the effects of virtual reality are pretty unknown and this could leave me with a potential topic to explore during this and I could find out more about the potential positive psychological effects of video games, film and virtual reality.

 Rusch, D., 2017. Making Deep Games. 1st ed. Boca Raton: Focal Press, p.2.3 https://learning.oreilly.com/library/view/making-deep-games/9781317607700/

This section in the book was interesting to me I found the amount and range of references very interesting as they were from everything from chess to Candy Crush, this book I feel is a lot more philosophical too and helps me understand about why to create meaning within my games and the methodology behind this teaches about communicating your ideas when making a game which again can really help when researching my games and comes as a handy resource and I feel the specific references makes this book engaging and relatable. This chapter shows about how games can be expressive and help show the developer on how to communicate their narrative to the player.

 Statham, N, Jacob, J, Fridenfalk, M. (2020). Photogrammetry For Game Environments 2014-2019: What happened since the vanishing of Ethan Carter. DiGRA ’20 – Proceedings of the 2020 DiGRA International Conference: Play Everywhere. 1 (1), 8-15.

This source is interesting as this could be another area I could potentially look into to really boost my 3D modelling as I was not aware of photogrammetry before this year but feel like using this could be great way to really advance and boost my skills and make the content I create more realistic. This explores about why photogrammetry is a powerful tool and is very useful and is popular within the games industry markets. This also explores a bit about the limitations and the challenges involved with using photogrammetry due to most in the games industry being inexperienced at using this due to this being such a modern and unexplored medium, although this for me could be a great potential subject to look into for studying in my PhD.

 Tinwell, A (2014). The Uncanny Valley in Games and Animation. Boca Raton: A K Peters/CRC Press. 10-21.

 I quite enjoyed this resource and found it interesting on this helping to find out about where the line is between reality based and an animation within a game as some graphics in games today look really lifelike like The Last of Us Part II, or Forza where the graphics are very visually impressive, whereas others are meant to still look cartoony but with a 3D element such as the Mario Kart games on DS. I found it useful too as it helps me show the techniques of why these hyper-realistic graphics are created and pitfalls and plug-ins that have been created to make character creation easier like Tissue which helps the cheeks on a character move when laughing.

  Von Gillern, S (2016). The Gamer Response and Decision Framework: A Tool for Understanding Video Gameplay Experiences. Columbia, MO: University of Missouri. 20-24.

 For this resource I found this really interesting as it spoke a lot about the psychology behind the players in the game it spoke a lot about the different types of modes in a game that make the game playable for every type of player as different players do different things in different ways, this helps to explain about players decision making and helps me think about what types of things are important to include in my game to help cater to my players needs and preferences, and the reasons why these methods are used to create a more realistic experience for the player. I find exploring the psychology behind the player fascinating as it helps me to understand why so many video games are sold and how the developers achieve the marketing side from things like the game itself, merchandise and in game purchases behind it.

  Weichelt, S (2020). Towards a Language for Artistic Realism. Copenhagen: Digital Games Research Association: 7-9.

 The pages in this source cover a lot on realism and simulation within games, there is also an explanation on how games not necessarily based on the real world at all still have their own rules and keep some of the real world principles, this gives great definitions on what social realism and life realism or illusionist realism is which has given me a lot to keep in mind which is why I found this source useful to read about. I found this interesting because I would like to base my 3D modelling on being mainly realistic so learning about realism and simulation is a key principle I need to really master.

Williams, A. (2017). Chapter 8: Early 3D and the Multimedia Boom. In: History of Digital Games. Boca Raton: CRC Press. 165-184.

This resource again explains a lot about the early history of 3D as it was mainly debuted in video games earlier than cinema the CG was being trialled in games as early as 1989, 6 years before Toy Story was released due to CG being primarily computer based.  This boom in games using CG was the start of when realism became a major development project within the creative industries and has really advanced very quickly in the last 30 years, in CGI’s media history and this is all very well explained in this resource. This also explores a lot about virtual reality which is in particular why I was also drawn into this as if I do a PhD this is the topic I would like to explore so found this very useful for my practice as understanding the history also means what has been experimented with and what hasn’t.

[caressofkrieger]

Title: “Shame”

Pairing: Ray Gillette/Dr. Krieger

Word count: 5,435

Rating: T 

Summary: Krieger knows that Ray is ashamed of him. Honestly, though, that’s okay. It’s not exactly hard to see why the idea of sleeping with him would be revolting, and if that’s not gross enough, the idea of dating him? Well, that’s just social suicide.  That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt his feelings, but... Krieger’s terrified to rock the boat.

“Holy shit.”

“Yep.”

“That was... Holy shit!”

“Yep yep yep.”

“Jesus, well... I’m gonna be feelin’ that in the morning.”

“Oh, yes.”

“Are you capable of saying anything besides ‘yep’ and ‘yes?’”

The scientist took a moment, brows knitting together in brief, pensive consideration. “Yes?”

“Ugh.”

“Wait! I mean... No? No, I mean yes. Yes. Final answer!”

Ray couldn’t help but smile, a small, involuntary upturn of the lips. “If you hadn't just given me the best, strongest, most mind-blowingest orgasm, I would be deeply annoyed with you right now.”

“But I did.” Krieger sat up halfway, raising his eyebrows at Ray hopefully. “Right?”

“I mean... Well, yeah.”

A bright, cheery grin instantly spread across the doctor’s face. “Excellent!” He leaned forward and kissed Ray on the forehead, then lay back down. “I, for one, have never been so satisfied by regular human sex in my life. It was nice.”

Ray opened his mouth to ask, but stopped himself before he could make that mistake. “I don’t want to know.”

“Oh, no, you most certainly do not.”

“Hang on—did you fuck some disgusting sort of robotic swine VD into me? Because if you did, I swear to God, Krieger, not only will we never do this again, but the next time your sad, sad little penis sees the light of day, it’ll be in two hundred years, getting scraped off the underside of my shoes by a bunch of archeologists!”

Krieger blinked, a small frown on his face. “I mean... If you bury a human penis, it would be entirely decomposed in less than a decade. Unless you plan to preserve it-”

“Dammit, Krieger! No! I don’t mean literally.”

“The whole thing? Or just the part about my penis?”

“Goddamn- If I’ve got radioactive venereal infections up my ass, I will figuratively obliterate your dickhole, and I will literally never sleep with you again.”

His eyebrows flew upward in understanding. “Oh! Well, then we better start testing right away!”

“What? Why?”

“Because I have an erection.”

Ray glanced down, noting the scientist’s sizeable boner, and looked back up to meet Krieger’s eyes with a deeply unimpressed expression.

Krieger coughed. “...What?”

Krieger rolled off of Ray with a satisfied sigh, humming as he ran a hand back through his hair to tame the mess into some semblance of its usual sleekness. “Heilige Scheiße.”

“Yep.”

“Das fühlte... Heilige Scheiße.”

“You could say that again, baby.”

“I mean... I’ve already said it twice-”

“Figuratively.”

“Oh.”

Ray laughed softly, shifting to rest on one side, a hand propped on his elbow so he could rest his head on his palm and just look at the man lying beside him. “So, that was the best celebratory STI-free sex I’ve ever had.”

“Me too!”

“And, uh, I think I’d like to do this again.”

“The infection screening?”

“The sex, asshole.” He gave Krieger’s shoulder a playful shove. “I wanna keep doin' this. Us. Whatever.”

Krieger’s eyes lit right up, like something switched inside him to bring him this pure joy, and suddenly the green of his irises went from warm moss to fucking Christmas lights. He took Ray by the wrist and leaned in close, making his expression as serious as he could manage while still being utterly giddy. “I. Would. Love that.”

Ray rolled his eyes, hoping to play this off as casually as possible, and said, “Well, it’s all yours, honey.”

And then Krieger fucking giggled, and if that wasn’t the cutest Goddamned thing-

Oh, Lord.

Ray was in trouble.

Krieger was a lot of things, namely: bizarre, creepy, eccentric, offensive, seriously disturbed, clinically insane, and terrifyingly genius.

But, as it happened, he was also sweet.

He came over to Ray’s place one night, an eager grin across his face as he happily anticipated a night of guinea-pigging his own personal brand of lubricant with Ray. Ray, on the other hand, was... not so in the mood.

“Look, I’m sorry, alright? I know I promised you we’d try out the... the whatever stuff tonight-”

“It’s a water-based apple-flavored tingly lubricant with a special aphrodisiac quality that’s absorbed through the skin-”

“Yeah, that. Look, I’d just rather not. Alright?”

He started to close the door, but Krieger stopped him. He gripped the edge of the door with a firm hand and forced it back open, and for a moment, Ray was scared. He might not have known too much about Krieger, but he knew Krieger was mentally and emotionally scrambled with bass-ackwards morals, a creepily vague past, and an extraordinarily rapey van, so yeah. There was a moment there where his heart beat faster and he reflexively reached for his guns, but then he glanced up at Krieger’s face and it was...

Soft.

It was gentle and concerned, a little frown and a furrowed brow, eyes surveying Ray’s expression carefully.

“That’s okay,” he said simply. “We could watch a movie instead.”

Ray raised an eyebrow, looking the German over suspiciously. “What’s your play?”

“We could watch a movie,” Krieger repeated. “I have a bunch of DVDs in my van-”

“Nuh-uh. No rape vans for me, thank you.” He started closing the door again, but once again Krieger held it open.

“I was planning on bringing the DVDs in here,” he explained. “Look, it’s just that I drove all this way—and there may or may not be a vat of bioengineered explosive salamanders brewing in my apartment that need several hours to stabilize before I can reenter—so I’d like to spend some time with you.”

The blond watched the brunet for a while, skeptically studying his expression. After coming up with an alarming amount of sincerity from Krieger’s end, he took a deep, wary breath and reluctantly relaxed his defensive posture. “No sex.”

The doctor nodded enthusiastically. “No sex!” he confirmed.

"Alright. So, what movies you got?”

The German started reciting a list of movies to which Ray only half-listened (okay, quarter-listened), because he was too stuck in his own head to even watch a movie, much less decide which movie to not-watch.

Honestly, he was just glad he didn't have to be alone.

At first they just sat like guy friends, dude bros, on opposite sides of the couch. Ray stared blankly at the TV screen, obviously paying no attention while Krieger was so absorbed by the narrative that he mouthed the dialogue as it happened.

His mind wandered. His legs felt heavy and unreal, and he looked down at them with a nostalgic frown; it was a strange sensation, knowing that the bones in your body weren't real bones, that you were an abomination, a sci-fi freak experiment assembled at the hands of a mad scientist-

A mad scientist.

He looked to Krieger, expecting to see the doctor still enthralled by the film, but instead he was suddenly there, watching Ray with a thoughtful expression and sitting about a foot closer than he had been before.

Ray jumped in surprise, inching further away. “Uh, hey. Can I help you?”

“I can fix them, you know.”

“‘Scuse me?”

“Your legs. If something is wrong, I can fix them.”

“What? No, honey, no, don’t worry about it. I’m just-”

Krieger reached for the remote and paused the movie. The silence bled into the room and Ray felt his chest tighten.

The scientist waited several moments for his colleague to finish the thought. When it became evident that there was no such intent, he prompted, “Look, man, you’re going to have to help me out here. I’m not... experienced, when it comes to comfort.”

“I’m just tired,” Ray said bluntly. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Okay, yeah, but you’re lying.”

“And what business is it of yours?”

Krieger frowned and glanced away; the blond sighed as guilt crept up into the back of his mind.

“Listen, it’s just... It doesn’t feel right. Doesn’t feel real.”

The German’s eyebrows flew up. “The skin? It’s one-hundred percent real. The majority of it was actually yours-”

“That’s not-” He sighed again. “I mean it doesn’t feel natural. Because it’s not, and I... Well, I can’t help but feel like I’m not really human anymore.”

“Oh.” Krieger blinks. “I didn’t...”

“It’s fine. It just happens every once in awhile, I get these days where I kinda wish I wasn’t a fuckin’ monster.”

He said “Oh,” again, and then they both stayed quiet for a long time.

It was heavy and thick. Ray chewed the inside of his lip, searching for something to do or say, because the conversation felt unfinished; Krieger was unusually stiff and well-postured, hands bracing his knees as he stared resolutely at the middle distance. Eventually, Ray gave up and leaned forward for the remote, but that’s when Krieger inhaled in preparation to speak.

The blond froze in place as that deep, tender voice said, “You’re not a monster, you know.”

He sat back up and looked at Krieger, lips parted slightly in surprise, and said nothing.

“You’re a human being,” he continued, “with thoughts and feelings and free will—for now, as far as you know—and even if you are a monster, I mean, I’m a clone of a fringe Mauthausen-Gusen experiment who was stolen from my home and brainwashed by Malory Archer when I was fifteen years old. Now, I live in a transitional neighborhood in an apartment crawling with irradiated insects and swine. So even if you are a monster... Well, I sort of am, too.”

Here, he turned his head to meet Ray’s eyes, a sad smile playing at the corners of his lips. Ray looked back into those deep green irises, world-weary and sincere, and took the doctor’s hand. “Krieger-”

“Besides!” he interrupted cheerfully, the weariness in his eyes switching back on into Christmas lights, enthusiastically squeezing Ray’s hand before letting go completely. “It should serve as some consolation that a solid—mmm, fifty percent?—of your body is still totally human! Pure, unadulterated, original, organic Gillette.” He patted Ray’s knee, the smile now almost contrived, then resumed the film.

As Ray looked back at the TV, he noticed that the emotion currently in the forefront of his mind was confusion. Close behind that, though, was comfort, and he found himself scooting closer to Krieger, resting a head on his shoulder, and laying a hand on his knee.

And when Krieger smiled, wrapped an arm around Ray’s waist, and started rubbing small circles into the small of his back, it didn’t feel unreal or unnatural anymore.

It felt right.

“And... selfie!”

“No! No, no, no, no, no.” He swatted the phone out of Krieger’s hand so fast the scientist actually flinched, blinking rapidly with a blank, dumbfounded expression.

“Um... Okay? I mean, what?”

“You can’t take pictures of us right after sex, you ass!”

“I take pictures of you after sex all the time.”

“Yeah, but- Wait, that only happened once.”

Krieger widened his eyes, glancing around nervously. “That’s- What are we- The number of pictures isn’t important.”

Ray sighed and rolled his eyes as he lit his post-coital cigarette. “Whatever, look—that’s different. I don’t care if you take pictures of me.”

“I, uh, don’t follow.”

“I just don’t want there to be pictures of... us. Like, both of us. Together.”

Krieger blinked again, furrowing his brow first in confusion, then in displeasure, then in simple thought, before the wrinkles on his forehead smoothed over and his expression softened into acceptance. “Oh.”

“Now, don’t get all pissy-”

“Yeah, no, I mean- I’m not!”

“It’s just—you know how everyone else is! They’ll be all like, ‘Ray, what the hell is wrong with you?’ ‘Ray, that’s disgusting.’ ‘Ray, have you gone literally insane and that’s why your judgement is so clouded that you’ve started bangin’ the human equivalent of that weird-shaped fruit they won’t sell to grocery stores?’”

Krieger just looked at Ray, lips parted and quivering slightly. A trace glimmer of betrayal shone in his eyes.

“I mean- That’s not-” Ray sighed. “I don’t feel that way! You know I don’t. I like you. I like spendin’ time with you and talkin’ to you and Lord knows I like fuckin’ you. But, I mean, you can’t honestly tell me you don’t think they’ll give us hell.”

Krieger shifted uncomfortably. “They aren’t the most... supportive bunch, are they?”

The blond chuckled, curling up on Krieger’s chest and pressing a firm kiss against it. “That they are not,” he confirmed. “So, I’d just appreciate it if no one... found out about this. Alright?”

He just ran a hand through Ray’s bedhead and tried not to think. “Yep,” he answered absently, chest hollow and dull.

“Yeah?”

“Yep yep yep.”

Krieger was in his lab one day, slaving over an M-16 that Archer had given him to customize, when—speak of the devil—in barged the man himself, laughing obnoxiously at some inevident joke. “Krieger! Kr- Ha! Krieger, come here, oh my- oh my God.”

“I’m a bit busy.”

“Doing what?”

“Modding your gun!” He held the rifle up, grinning ear-to-ear in pride of the modifications finished so far, but Archer didn't even look; he was too busy staring down at his phone—wait, no, that- that was Krieger’s phone.

“Hey- What're you doing with that?!” He put the gun down (delicately) before lunging across the table to snatch his cell back, but Archer easily avoided him.

“What are you doing with- holy shit, with pictures of Gillette on your phone?!”

“Don’t tell-” Pam. Lana. Anyone. Don’t tell anyone. Ray doesn’t want anyone to know, and-

Oh, shit. Ray didn't want anyone to know.

Not even—especially not—Archer. Because if anyone was gonna give Ray shit for fucking Krieger... oh, God. Krieger quickly figured out that this wasn’t going to be an ‘Archer, Ray and I have been sleeping together for the past two weeks but it’s a secret’ thing. This was an ‘I’ve been secretly taking pictures of Agent Gillette because I’m Krieger and I’m a pervert’ thing.

“...Ray,” he finally finished. “Don’t tell Ray.”

Like Archer would ever show that much mercy.

He took Krieger by the arm and dragged him out, cackling all the way. “Raayy!” he sang, all too pleased with himself. “We’ve got something to shooww yoouu!”

Ray wasn’t interested at all. When Krieger and Archer found him in the break room (Krieger sporting the promising beginning of a black eye from when he tried attacking Archer to get the phone back on the way up), he glanced up over the magazine he was reading and sighed, “What?”

“Krieger’s got nasty pictures of you on his phone! Like, sleeping! And- ugh, just look!” He shoved the phone into Ray’s hand, and the blond took it and flipped carefully through the pictures.

They were... sweet. In a Krieger-y way. It was still fucking creepy, yeah, but in a weirdly sweet Krieger-y way; they weren't even sex pictures, they were just sleepy pictures. Cute, sleepy pictures of Ray with eyes screwed shut, blankets drawn up around his shoulders,  head resting on his arms. Plus, the creepiness factor was definitely subdued by the fact that they’d been sleeping together for half a month.

Although, Archer didn’t know that.

Dukes.

Ray glanced up at Krieger with an almost-apologetic look before he exclaimed, “What the hell is wrong with you, man?! This is disgusting!”

“Well, sor-ry for having a knack for art.”

“This isn’t art!”

“Photography is art!”

“This is stalking! For the love of- Ugh. Archer, get out.”

“What? Why?”

“I wanna talk to Adolf Dickler in private. See how hard these robot legs can kick him in the balls.”

Krieger widened his eyes. “I made those legs!”

“Then I hope for your sake you didn’t do a good job!”

The German winced. Archer laughed and left the room, closing the door behind him. Ray waited patiently to hear his footsteps disappear down the hall, then locked the door and turned back to the doctor.

“Good acting,” he noted, gently placing a hand on the side of Krieger’s face to inspect the gently swollen, purple-pink ring around his eye. “Jesus,” he sighed. “You gotta stop provoking him.”

“He’s really a good guy,” Krieger defended.

“Oh, honey, he’s really not. Speaking of...” Ray pulled the phone out and held it up. “What the hell man?”

“He stole it! I don’t know how! And who knows how he guessed my-”

“The PIN is 2112.”

He gasped with an almost comical level of drama, taking his phone and clutching it to his chest. “How did you-”

“Oh, please, honey, everyone knows it.” He crossed his arms and cocked a hip to the side. “Just try and be more careful, alright?”

“Of course, of course.” He unlocked his phone to start flipping through the pictures. “At least he didn’t see any of the more... unseemly photographs.”

“The what now?” Ray snatched the phone back and swiped through about a dozen photos of himself after sex, face flushed and hair a chaotic mess. In some, he was cute and sleepy, a lazy smile across his face; in some, he was totally fucked out, sticky and bruised. He smiled almost imperceptibly at the memory of seeing Krieger the same way, helping him put makeup over the bite marks on his neck, speaking German with him when he was half-asleep and too out of it to remember the English word for ‘Vorhaut.’

Krieger, who had moved to peer over Ray’s shoulder at the pictures, hummed softly at a particularly intimate photograph. “These would have been... more difficult to explain.”

Ray sighed. “It’s really creepy that you took these without me knowin’ about it. You know that, right? It’s pretty effed up.”

Krieger frowned. “Do you want me to... get rid of them?”

“No, it’s... It’s sweet. It’s effed up, but it’s sweet—and honestly, I’m scared of what you’ll start masturbating to if I take away the most normal material you’ve got.”

When the brunet just blushed and coughed awkwardly in response, Ray scowled.

“You’ve got a boner right now, don’t you?”

“Only, like, half-”

He rolled his eyes and spun on his heel to exit, tossing Krieger’s phone onto the breakroom table on the way out.

“Wha- Where are you going?”

“To your lab.” He stopped, turned around, and pulled Krieger toward him by the tie. His breath ghosted heavy and warm in Krieger’s ear when he said, “And in five minutes, you’re gonna meet me down there.”

Krieger’s heart actually (literally) stopped for a solid two-and-a-half seconds. He gulped and watched Ray walk away, eyes wide.

Something was telling him he was about to take a lot more pictures.

When they became official, Krieger cried—literally. He scooped Ray up in a massive hug (“Jesus, man! Put me down!”) and giggled like a little girl. Ray pretended not to notice the little signs of wetness in the corners of the scientist’s eyes once he finally released his grip.

“Good gracious God, Krieger, y’know we basically passed the point of no return the first time we hung out without having sex.”

“But once you say it out loud, there's no turning back.”

“Don’t remind me,” Ray mumbled, but he couldn't suppress his smile when Krieger wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him in close.

“I intend to. I will remind you multiple times every day, at regular intervals. As well as everyone on the planet.”

“Wait, Krieger, no. I don't want anyone knowing about us. Remember?”

“What—even now?”

“Especially now! Krieger, you said it was okay if we didn't tell anyone.”

“I, uh- It is! Of course it is, I just- Yes! Yes, it’s fine.”

“Krieger-”

“Ray.” He rested a hand on Ray’s shoulder and offered a small smile. “They don’t need to know. We’ve got each other, and that’s all we need.”

“Oh, you big cornball,” Ray scoffed, but his grin gave him away. “Now—if my boyfriend would accompany me to a shady movie theatre for popcorn and handjobs...”

Krieger’s eyes lit up like Christmas, and dammit if that wasn’t Ray’s favorite sight to see.

Krieger knew that Ray was ashamed of him. Honestly, though, that was okay. It wasn’t exactly hard to see why the idea of sleeping with Krieger would be revolting—you’d have to be blind (and deaf, and it wouldn’t hurt to lack a sense of smell) to not know that Krieger had some... unconventional tastes in the bedroom. With Ray, he took extra-special care to avoid overstepping boundaries, and not once had he initiated (or even talked about) a single thing unless Ray explicitly expressed interest first. But they wouldn't know that.

If the idea of sleeping with Krieger wasn’t disgusting enough, the idea of dating him? Well, that would have been social suicide.

That didn’t mean it didn't hurt his feelings, but... Krieger was terrified to rock the boat.

Ray was incredible. He was handsome, talented, and simultaneously normal and extraordinary in the most mind blowing way. He could move on from Krieger; he’d done this whole dating thing before and would do it again. For Krieger, though, it was the first time he’d ever had feelings—real, human feelings for a real human being—so if he decided to make this difficult, decided to be an ass and make a big deal out of it even though he knew exactly why Ray felt the way he did, Ray could just leave. And Krieger would be alone.

Ray was the best thing that ever happened to him. He wasn’t about to jeopardize that for the sake of his own ego.

That being said, Krieger was a man who was very open about his feelings. And he wasn't used to hiding them, so... he messed up sometimes.

Take that Wednesday, for example. Ray had been gone almost five days on a mission, and when Krieger came up from his lab to see that his boyfriend was back, safe and sound and all in one piece, he ran forward and threw his arms around Ray without taking note of the other people in the room.

Automated instinct made Ray hug back for a brief half-second before he froze and pushed Krieger off, scowling as if he’d just smelled something horrible. “Jesus, Krieger! What the hell is wrong with you?!”

“Hey, why all the PDA all of a sudden?” Cyril asked, backing up as if he was afraid he might be subjected to physical contact, as well.

“Yeah, ew!” Cheryl chimed in, narrowing her eyes at the scientist. “Ever heard of personal space, jackass?”

Pam, Lana, and Malory all threw in their two cents, as well, but Ray continued on.

“Seriously, you pervert! God, get off me—I don’t know where you’ve been!”

Maybe Ray oversold it. But he was desperate and terrified that anyone might find out, and honestly, he was a little pissed at Krieger, too; what kind of an idiot just barges in like that without realizing the room is full of people?

Krieger played along. He played along perfectly. He laughed it off, fabricated an excuse off the top of his head, and threw out a few quirky Krieger-isms to make it extra convincing.

But there was this look on his face, right before he got into character. His green eyes shone with a soft, dull light, and his eyebrows pulled together into a hurt, apologetic knot. He looked like a kicked puppy, and it tore into Ray’s heart.

There was nothing he could do, though; not in that moment. He continued to play the part, join in with the others for a few more minutes of ripping on Krieger, then the doctor receded back into his lab and all was normal again.

It was a few hours later when Ray managed to steal away into the lab, descending the steps carefully and knocking softly on the wall once he found which room his boyfriend was in. “Knock, knock,” he said softly, and Krieger looked up with one eyebrow raised.

The agent took a deep breath and stepped hesitantly forward. “Algernop...”

“Look, Ray, I’m s-”

He interrupted the German with a, “Bup!” and held up a finger to stop him. “Don’t worry about it. I, uh... I missed you. While I was gone.”

Krieger hummed fondly at that, closing the distance between himself and Ray before gently taking his hand. “Ich Habe dich auch vermisst.”

Ray smiled.

“Who is it?”

“Nobody.”

“I know you’ve been seeing somebody, Ray.”

“I have not!”

Lana crossed her arms skeptically, barely hiding the growing smirk on her face. “Honey. Come on. You’re practically glowing, you haven’t been going to Fetish Night the past few weeks, and you don’t turn into a little schoolgirl every time someone hits on you, anymore.”

“No one likes a Nosy Nellie, girl.”

“Yeah, no one likes a Secretive Sally, either.”

“Ugh—We are not having lunch together anymore.”

“Raayy! Come on, who is it? Is he cute? Did you meet him at the club? I bet he’s like, a tall Chris Hemsworth type with washboard abs and gorgeous tan skin.”

Ray snorted. “Not exactly.”

“Ha! So there is a guy!”

He let out an indignant squeak. “No! No, there’s no-”

“Come on, this is fun! Is he a circuit queen?”

“No!”

“Is he a twink?”

“I- No, Lana.”

“Is he tall?”

Ray stared at Lana for a long moment, attempting to out-will her, but of course he eventually failed and gave up, sitting back in his chair with an exaggerated eye roll. “He’s my height.”

“Ooh! Okay, okay. Is he... Oh, does he wear glasses?”

“No.”

“Does he have tattoos?”

“Nope.”

“Well, alright, how about you tell me what he does have?”

Ray ducked his head down in slight embarrassment as he calculated his answer. “He’s... sweet. He’s not really my type, but he’s sweet.”

“So he’s ugly?”

“No!” Ray laughed, pushing Lana’s arm. “No, you bitch, he’s good-looking, just... not the type I usually go for. But he’s nice. He’s smart—he’s smarter than me.”

“Holy shit.” She smiled, amused, and sat back in her seat, sipping her iced coffee like she knew something. “You really like this guy.”

“Oh, shut up. I don’t like anybody.”

“You do! You’re totally in like with him. Okay, how’d you two meet?”

“Oh, who remembers?” he deflected, taking a big bite of his chocolate croissant. “We’ve known each other for a while.”

“Oooh! Do I know him?”

“Wh- No.”

“You lying whore! Who is he? He’s not from work, is he?”

“You’re not gonna get it out of me.”

“Okay, so he’s your height, no glasses, no tattoos, and I know him.”

“Stop it, girl. Dangerous territory, here.”

She leaned in close, squinting, and looked deep into Ray’s eyes, scrutinizing and deliberately intense. The blond glanced nervously from side to side, a blush creeping onto his cheeks. He could see all the thoughts running through Lana’s head, all the calculations, and dammit, this was why you never tried to keep secrets from spies. “What color is his hair?”

He closed his eyes, at this point only hoping to delay the inevitable. “Brown.”

“Eyes?”

“Green.”

“He have any hobbies?”

“God damn,” Ray sighed, reluctant to give up any more information. “He has... Projects?”

The exact moment that it hit her was ridiculously obvious to pinpoint. Her eyes went wide and her face fell, her lips parting in shock. “Holy shit.”

“Dukes.”

“Really? Him?”

He groaned, putting his head in his hands. “Dukes.”

“Ray, honey. Be careful.”

And then something switched inside of Ray. He felt a twist in his gut and he looked back up at his friend with narrow eyes. “And just what is that s’posed to mean?”

“I mean—Girl. Are you serious? It’s Krieger. He’s practically a Nazi, for one-”

“Oh, please-”

“And for two,” Lana pressed on, “he’s a fricken psychopath! Or a pervert, at the very least-”

“Watch it, honey!”

“I’m worried about you! What, did he Stockholm Syndrome you?” Her expression softened suddenly, and she placed a gentle hand over Ray’s. “Ray, honey, is he... Is he hurting you?”

“Jesus!” Ray pulled his hand back, scowling. “He’s not a goddamn monster, Lana! He’s sweet, and cute, and I’m happy! Yeah, he’s sort of a freak, but- Jesus, I like him, okay? He’s a good cook, and he has soft hands, and he does this thing where he starts drumming on his legs when he gets excited about something, and I don’t think he even notices it. He’s... really thoughtful, and weirdly sexy. And I’m not a fuckin’ idiot—I know how to take care of myself! You know if he tried anything funny I’d shoot his dick off.”

Lana blinked, watching Ray’s expression and letting several silent moments pass before saying, “Okay.” It was simple, but it was enough. She just nodded thoughtfully and accepted Ray’s defense. “Okay.”

“You’re damn right it’s okay,” he huffed, standing up and pulling out a cigarette to ignite. “He’s weird, yeah, and he’s a little crazy, but he’s a human being.”

As he lit the cigarette and breathed in a long, satisfying stream of smoke, Lana put money on the table for their meals, then finally said, “I’m glad you’re happy,” a small (but honest) attempt to ease the tension.

He just sighed. “Thanks, girl,” he mumbled, then he walked away.

Ray analysed his feelings a lot on the drive back to work.

He’d expected to be utterly humiliated if someone were to find out about him and Krieger. But instead of being ashamed of him, he just got... defensive. Because how dare Lana criticise Krieger like that? How could she pretend she knows what’s best for Ray when she never even gave Krieger a chance?

Krieger was a good kisser, a really good kisser. In the bedroom, he was careful and respectful and never did anything Ray didn’t want to do. He cuddled Ray with all his heart, and when he thought Ray might get up or leave, he hung on tighter and pretended to be asleep. He played with Ray’s hair and kissed the nape of his neck and helped him do morning sit ups.

He was weird. He was really weird, and kind of scary, but Ray didn’t give a shit. He was Krieger—Ray wasn't exactly sure when that stopped being a bad thing.

It didn’t matter.

Algernop mattered.

“Where’s Krieger?” It was one of the first things out of his mouth when he got back to the office.

“He’d dicking around in the conference room,” Pam answered. “Why?”

“I wanna talk to ‘im.”

Archer laughed, annoyingly. “Why? Is he still stalking you?”

“Krieger!” Pam shouted. “Get your Dolly-ass out here!”

The doctor strode into the room on cue, eyebrows raised almost dubiously. “You rang?”

Then, Ray kissed him. Hard, full, and deep. He walked right up to the scientist, gently took his face in his hands, and kissed him openly, willingly, in front of everybody.

Krieger first tensed, then hesitated, then followed through. His final sign of acceptance was a soft, content hum into Ray’s mouth as the blond let his hands slide into Krieger’s hair, around the back of his head to pull him closer, and Krieger’s hands landed instinctively on Ray’s hips.

“Holy shitsnacks.”

“Dude, Ray, what the- what the hell?”

“Have fun with his girly-ass hands!”

Cyril insisted on continuing to press for information. “Ray! What’s going on? Can you, like, actually stop for a second and talk to us about this? I mean, can you physically stop? Or is he... drugging you, or something?”

“Oh, please, he’s obviously a robot.”

“Ha! Right?”

“Why would Krieger make a sex robot off of Ray?”

Ray finally pulled back from the kiss with an exasperated huff and indignantly started, “You know-!”

But Krieger put a finger to his lips, his smile gentle and warm, and shushed his boyfriend softly. “To the van?”

Fond little chuckles danced on Ray’s breath as he looked back at Krieger and let himself forget about everyone else. “Alright, honey,” he smiled. “Lead the way.”

“Holy shit.”

“Yep.”

“That was... Holy shit.”

“Yep yep yep!”

“I mean... Seriously, holy shit!”

“Are you capable of saying anything other than ‘holy shit?’” Krieger teased, the smirk on his face entirely too smug.

Ray clicked his tongue in annoyance. “Oh, go to hell.”

“Fine,” the scientist conceded. “But first...” He reached over to retrieve his phone from the pocket of his slacks, haphazardly strewn over one of the seats, and held it up with a small smile, one eyebrow hopefully raised. “Selfie?”

Ray rolled his eyes at the doctor, but he posed for several photographs without protest.

And if he started keeping a few pictures of Krieger on his phone just for himself... Well, that was nobody’s goddamn business.

[drink-n-watch]

Are you a loyal anime fan? Do you stand by those shows which have brought you joy?

Lately, I’ve read a few think pieces on how people’s preconceptions can colour our enjoyment of a show. How going into an anime with preconceived notions or expectations based on other people’s experiences, inevitably affects what we end up getting out of our watching experience. But what about the reverse case scenario.

it’s a reverse harem!

Have you ever stumbled across a title you’d never heard of before and thoroughly enjoyed, only to discover that your hidden gem is widely reviled by the anime community? Do you remain faithful to your new love or do you disavow it? Are you suddenly ashamed to admit you enjoyed the show? Do you go as far as downgrading it in your own mind, admitting to yourself that is was indeed riddled with flaws, or do you feel compelled to defend it against accusations you don’t really believe are true?

What if you thought a title was really so-so but endlessly see it described as a classic, a masterpiece, an undeniable work of art? Do you pretend to like it? Do you add it to your top 10 lists just to fit in? Do you avoid giving any opinion or at least try to soften the blow with excuses like: “I was really young when I saw that”?

I know I do.

It’s stupid of course. I end up getting nonsense recommendations for new shows because it’s based on skewed data. Or I find myself sitting through movies or shows I know I won’t enjoy because I somehow didn’t manage to scrape together the microscopic amount of courage required to admit that I don’t like a particular director or studio. On the flip side, I also can’t gush over whatever silly, stupid little show is making me super happy at the moment because I’m afraid people will judge me. Despite the fact that I know no one cares about my anime tastes, at least not enough to actually have them affect their opinion of me.

yes, yes tell me more of this awnimou you like so much – everyone I know

I want to watch shows I like – and I want those types of shows to get made, but people won’t know that unless I tell them. So? Well…As my own feeble attempt at some kind of earnestness, I give you my top 9 animes I’m either ashamed of liking or embarrassed of not getting. Let’s all celebrate our lack of good taste together!

In random order:

😊 The Royal Tutor

I’m not as stupid as I look. I realize this show is just a lighthearted excuse to bring together a flock of beautifully drawn bishies and cash in on the hormonal audience ready to devour it. The animation is minimal, the historic setting is laughable and characters and storyline are all more or less surface level but that’s not what this show was for… It’s paced well, the easy humour may be uninspired but it’s familiar and comforting. What it did do, it did well. The pretty pretty characters are super likeable for all their lack of developments and by golly I would watch another season the second it came out. I would leave work early and everything.

☹ Sakamoto desu ka

When this show came out there was so much hype, even I heard of it. This was recommended to me by just about everybody – the one friend that watches anime, blogs, youtubers even MAL. Everyone told me that this is comedy gold – one of the most hilarious shows to come out in recent years and well, I didn’t get it… My sense of humour is important to me, it’s the one quality I’m actually proud of. I am quick with a laugh and need very little to find the funny in a situation and although Sakamoto wasn’t bad I just didn’t find it that funny and ended up dropping it after 6 episodes or so. I’m very worried that I’m growing dull.

😊 Black Butler II

Black butler, in all its iterations, has long been a guilty pleasure of mine. I am honestly ashamed of liking this show so much. It’s just sooooo emo and gothicky and teenage angsty and I love all of  it. At least it’s fairly popular except I’m a black sheep even among Black Butler fans because my clear favourite is season 2. Most fans will stop talking to me at this point, I understand. But, I adore Alois, I think he’s the perfect embodiment of the cheesy gaudy charm that BB brings to the table and the sarcastic ending was the best. Soo yeah – I’m a lost cause.

☹ My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU

People love this show, I see artwork from it all over the place and I will admit it’s quite pretty. It also has the word SNAFU in the title which is automatic extra points in my book. But everything else never resonated with me. The comedy fell flat, the drama felt fabricated the pace was off and the characters were irrational. I fluctuated between bored and depressed throughout most of it yet still felt the need to watch both seasons, waiting for it to finally pick up. It did not. I did like the orange haired girl’s front cross strap bra thingy….

😊 Alien 9

OK – I can’t explain this one. It’s a mess of a show but I lurve it so much. One of the few series I’ve both watched and read and reread. I could defend it to you guys. The intriguing parasitic/symbiotic alien aspect with a sort of magical girl deconstruction feel. The jarring violence and real suspense but in all honestly even those high points aren’t fully realized. I can’t tell you why it’s better than people think it is but it is. I’m going to go watch it right now.

☹ Azumanga Daioh

I like the Slice of Life and Comedy genres quite a lot (although looking at this list, maybe I don’t?) and Azumanga Daioh is considered by many, a classic. The intro should be! It has its moments to be sure but I just didn’t find it that funny. That aside, what really put me off was the use of a teacher’s predatory and continual sexual harassment of students as a running gag. The show treats it as cute and funny that an adult teacher is clearly trying to grope or see his students naked all the time. I’m afraid that I’m being a stick in the mud or that I somehow missed the distinction between ridiculing bad behaviour rather than humanizing it, but it always skived me out and I just couldn’t shake the feeling. Apparently, I’m the only one who has a problem with this. This scene always made me laugh though: 

😊 Cheer Boys!!

I’ve written a post about this unsubtle cash grab of a show and how I can’t seem to hate it. In fact I’ll just say it, I really like it. It’s indefensible so I won’t even try to but sometimes we just want empty calories. This show won’t bring anything new. There are so many better sports animes out there and you should watch them all before this one. But once you’re done with all the “good” shows….

☹ Spirited Away

Yes, yes, I know – Ghibli, yes genius, yes Myazaki, yes I think he’s really hot, yes this movie is brimming with wonder and charm… I can see the quality but, I mean, so what? Do I remember anything about Chihiro as a person? About any character at all? I don’t, they just didn’t leave a mark on me. I can clearly see the images of what people and things looked like but they have no personalities beyond that for me. I would show this to a small child or an animation student who wants to admire the technical know-how and maybe I should rewatch it. I just didn’t find in it the depth or meaning of earlier titles like Mononoke or the graceful ache of Totoro and I would write more except I don’t remember anything about it…

😊 Cute High Earth Defense Club Love!

Let’s end it on a happy note. Eminareviews named this as the anime she was embarrassed of liking and it suddenly dawned on me that maybe I should be embarrassed too. Sure, the jokes are super easy and the premise is paper thin but what can I tell you guys, this show had me smiling from start to finish. I realize that given the fact that Shinji Takamatsu (of Daily Lives of High School Boys and Gintama fame) was behind this, expectations may have been sky high for some and disappointment was inevitable. I also see that the writers went for some low hanging fruit here, and that they would have been capable of much subtler and more cutting humor but just because it’s a little lazy doesn’t mean it’s not funny. Season 2, now that was not funny….

This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought

Suggested drink: Confidence Builder, alternatively you can throw it in the other person’s face but that would be such a waste…

Every time someone tells you your favorite anime is derivative – drink

Every time some says “I use to like that show before I knew more about anime” – drink

Every time someone gets real nitpicky about an unimportant aspect of your favourite show, like the color palette for example – drink

Every time someone says you should what X instead – it’s so much better – drink

Every time someone tells you, you’ll get it when you learn a bit about… – drink

Every time someone tells you the manga was better – drink

Every time someone says, well I’m more into story driven narratives – drink

Every time someone tells you it’s a poor man’s version of… – drink

Every time someone accuses your show of being cliché – drink

Every time someone accuses your show of being pretentious – drink

Every time someone says aren’t cartoons for children? – go home

Anime confessions Are you a loyal anime fan? Do you stand by those shows which have brought you joy?

[junker-town]

NBA predictions for the 2019-2020 season

What are you favorite NBA predictions this season?

These are our fearless predictions for the 2019-2020 NBA season.

The NBA entered an arms race this summer the likes of which had never been seen. An unprecedented amount of player movement has blown open the league’s title picture and given so many new storylines to follow.

For once, the NBA’s future champion doesn’t seem preordained. That didn’t stop our writers from making some predictions on how this year is going to unfold. Also be sure to read the comprehensive SB Nation NBA preview for the 2019-2020 season.

Who’s winning MVP?

Mike Prada: Giannis Antetokounmpo. Anthony Davis is the early narrative favorite, Stephen Curry has the most 2017 Russell Westbrook potential, James Harden still exists, and Joel Embiid looms as an interesting dark horse if he can stay healthy. But the Bucks should still be the East’s best team, and Antetokounmpo will be motivated to add to his game after his postseason failures last season. This is the safe pick, though possibly a boring one.

Whitney Medworth: Anthony Davis. This is contingent on two things: He stays healthy and LeBron James continues to play as a distributor who lets the offense flow through Davis. It’s only preseason and James is getting older by the minute, but I think the James and Davis combo could be more lethal than we’re prepared for, with Davis being the biggest benefactor. Also, he’s just really freaking good at basketball.

Michael Pina: Steph Curry. For reasons outlined here, Curry has an open runway to his third MVP trophy. With Klay Thompson hurt and Kevin Durant gone, Curry is Golden State’s first and second option on every possession, and with so many doubting his team’s chance to even make the playoffs there’s a built-in narrative he’s primed to overcome. It’ll be weird if Curry doesn’t lead the league in scoring.

Ricky O’Donnell: Steph Curry. I am of the opinion that Curry is the best player in the NBA, which now feels like a contrarian view I’m desperately clinging to after the Raptors washed his Warriors in the Final last June. If Curry can remain healthy, if Draymond Green stays in shape all season, and if Golden State’s depth shows signs of development around him, my guess is it won’t seem like such a hot take a year from now. Curry doesn’t have the luxury of blending in anymore — with Kevin Durant in Brooklyn and Klay Thompson rehabbing a torn ACL, the Warriors need his scoring outbursts more than ever. This really feels like it’s going to be the year of Steph.

Tom Ziller: James Harden. Harden is clearly one of the best players in the world, and we suspect his team will win lots of games — it might even be the No. 1 seed in the West, depending on how the LA teams gel and manage players’ loads. Curry is a safer pick because we know he’ll be the clear top scorer on what should still be quite a good team, and the media, who votes for MVP, (rightly) loves him. The same applies to Giannis. But Harden scored 36 points per game efficiently last season! Even if Russell Westbrook takes a slice of that, Harden is just as likely as Curry to win the scoring title (Harden has won two straight and averaged at least 29 points per game four straight seasons) and the Rockets are likely to be better than the Warriors. What’s the case against Harden then?

Matt Ellentuck: James Harden. I think he’s the best scorer in the world, the most unstoppable offensive force in the world, and for now, I want to believe he and Russell Westbrook are going to work. Steph Curry is an obvious choice, but I’m not convinced he’s going to be able to carry his team past a bottom seed in the west. Giannis could repeat, but after a year of watching, teams are bound to find ways to better exploit his weaknesses shooting the ball. Meanwhile the bearded one is out hoisting one-footed threes just to spice things up. MVP.

Harry Lyles Jr.: Giannis Antetokounmpo. My heart says to pick Steph Curry or James Harden, but I think we’re about to see Giannis go to another level that we didn’t anticipate this season. The East isn’t exactly stacked, and he’ll be able to run through teams for yet another year. Unless the Bucks somehow drop off this season, this feels like a smart pick.

Zito Madu: Thanks to the wonderful precedent set by Russell Westbrook’s MVP win, that certain individual performances can be so overwhelming that it supersedes the idea that the MVP has to be on one of the best teams, I think this will be the year that Steph Curry showcases the extent of his abilities. Which is incredible to think about considering how he performed when he won his previous MVPs.

Which player will make the All-Star Game for the first time?

Mike Prada: Pascal Siakam. It boggles my mind that folks are still skeptical that he can be a top scoring option. Kawhi Leonard missed a quarter of last season, and in that time, Siakam was the Raptors’ fulcrum, not Kyle Lowry. He and the Raptors were brilliant in those games, and I see little reason why that won’t be the case over a larger sample this season.

Michael Pina: Jayson Tatum. It’s Year 3 now and Tatum is in line to average at least 20 points on one of the Eastern Conference’s better teams. A leap is coming. He can score at all three levels but in the preseason has already started to shift a majority of his shots from the mid-range to the rim and behind the three-point line. The Celtics have Kemba Walker, Gordon Hayward, and Jaylen Brown, but it’s Tatum who needs to break out if they want to be the best team they can possibly be. His first all-star appearance will be a big step towards getting there.

Ricky O’Donnell: Luka Doncic. A year later, I’m still not over Doncic slipping to the No. 5 overall pick in the 2018 draft despite, like, every smart person agreeing he was the top overall prospect available (and I say this as the president of the Jaren Jackson Jr. fanclub). Doncic’s second season is when he’s really going to start making the Suns and Kings look silly for passing on him. Don’t be surprised if he averages 25 points per game this year.

Tom Ziller: Pascal Siakam. You really have to pick an Eastern Conference player for this category because the West continues to increase in star power. Siakam wasn’t too far off the mark in 2018-19, and with Kawhi Leonard gone, Siakam will get credit for much of Toronto’s success as he likely takes on a larger role. Aaron Gordon is another player I think has a strong shot to be a first-time all-star, especially if the Magic live up to their billing. Others worth consideration here: Spencer Dinwiddie and Trae Young.

Matt Ellentuck: Zion Williamson. He’s missing two months to a torn meniscus but I don’t even care. He’s one of the most popular players in the world at age 19, unarguably the most popular social media teenage basketball player of all time, and one of the most unique, incredible rookies we’ve ever seen. Through preseason, aside from injury, we haven’t been provided any evidence that adult athletes can contain his physical force off the dribble any better than college ones could. His stats will be all-star-esque. And the fan support will be there, too.

Harry Lyles Jr.: Pascal Siakam. With Kawhi Leonard gone, it’s Siakam’s show. Like Ziller said, the West is stacked with star power, and it would be easier for somebody to slide in on the East. I don’t think Siakam is going to have to “slide in” though, he’s going to have a big year.

Zito Madu: Pascal Siakam. Barring a freak injury, it seems destined for Siakam to continue to become one of the better players in the league. Last season, especially in the finals, was a good display of just what he is capable of, as he himself seemed to be figuring those things out in real-time as well. The more comfortable and refined he becomes with his abilities, as I think he will be this season, the easier it will be to just acknowledge his burgeoning greatness.

The best non-Zion rookie will be ...

Mike Prada: Tyler Herro. I’m in after watching him light it up in the preseason. The Heat desperately need perimeter shooting and secondary playmaking to give Jimmy Butler breathing room, and Herro provides both while also being big enough to maintain Miami’s length advantage on defense.

Michael Pina: Ja Morant will average 16 and 8, regularly dunk on people, and do his part to accelerate Memphis’ rebuild.

Tom Ziller: Coby White. The Bulls are exciting (!) and White is going to drop jaws out there. Honorable mention to Tyler Herro and Rui Hachimura, who might be the Wizards’ second-best active player by Christmas.

Ricky O’Donnell: Brandon Clarke. Somehow slipped to the No. 21 pick in the draft after putting together one of the great college seasons we’ve ever seen at Gonzaga. Morant will get most of the attention, but Clarke will have a bigger impact, especially as a rookie.

Matt Ellentuck: I can’t stress this enough, but nobody will be close to Zion. Ja Morant should be solid with total authority to rule the Grizzlies offense with Jaren Jackson Jr. though.

Whitney Medworth: No one is coming close so I’m going to pick Jordan Poole’s pregame fashion game.

Harry Lyles Jr.: Ja Morant. That is all.

Zito Madu: I’ve seen the Tyler Herro highlights. I believe. I’ve fallen head over heels. But Ja Morant said that his dad was his first hater, and there’s no way I can turn my back on a man with that kind of attitude.

2020 NBA Finals picks

East champ

Mike Prada: Philadelphia. The 76ers won’t win the most regular-season games: they have too much unique new talent to integrate and the Bucks’ well-defined system around a superstar is tailor-made to pile up wins in January and February. But in a seven-game playoff series, I have trouble seeing how the Bucks can possibly score on the 76ers’ combination of size and speed. The Raptors discovered how much of an impact the 76ers’ devastating combination can have in a seven-game playoff series, and Philly is even more physically imposing now.

Michael Pina: Philly. They’re too big, and will make every possession in crunch-time of a seven-game series feel like it’s being played inside a panic room. Joel Embiid is a serious MVP/DPOY candidate who carries an intimidating aura not seen since Shaquille O’Neal retired. Ben Simmons—faulty jumper and all—will impose his strengths on both ends. Al Horford enters the frame as a glorious glue guy. This team is thin and a tad awkward, but nobody in the East can match up with their best five-man lineup.

Tom Ziller: Philly. It’s tough to pick against Giannis and the Bucks, but I’m trying to imagine Eric Bledsoe, Khris Middleton, and George Hill generating offense against the Sixers defense and I don’t see it. Giannis is the best player in the East, but Joel Embiid isn’t far behind him, and the supporting cast is pretty imbalanced in Philly’s favor, from Ben Simmons to Al Horford to Tobias Harris to Josh Richardson. What a roster!

Matt Ellentuck: Philly. I don’t say this too enthusiastically. The Sixers got better ... at least I think they did? Adding Al Horford to Joel Embiid’s offense is going to take time and might get clunky, but the Sixers are definitely going to be good. I’m just not sure they’d be a top-four team in the West. The East just didn’t get better.

Ricky O’Donnell: Philly. The Sixers’ offense devolved into a series Jimmy Butler pick-and-rolls and isolations in last year’s playoffs, which means they’ll need to come up with a new way to manufacturer points in the halfcourt this season with him in Miami. That’s okay. Embiid should accept the challenge of getting himself in better shape longer into the season and Simmons will want to quiet critics who point to his disappointing numbers in the seven-game series against Toronto. If that happens, the Sixers should be a healthier, more balanced unit that puts a wall of size around the rim when Giannis comes barreling through the lane in the Eastern Conference Finals.

West champ

Mike Prada: LA Clippers. It’ll be hard to pick against LeBron James and Anthony Davis if the Lakers make it through the regular season unscathed, but the Clippers are significantly deeper, more balanced, and have plenty of starpower where it matters most in Kawhi Leonard and Paul George. Apologies to Utah (too small on the wing), Denver (too limited defensively), Houston (too combustable), and Golden State (too much lost talent to overcome).

Michael Pina: Houston. It’s so hard to pick against teams that employ Kawhi Leonard, LeBron James, Paul George, and Anthony Davis, but I’m rolling with this team for three reasons (the first two of which happen to be in direct conflict with each other): 1) Continuity still matters and—Russell Westbrook aside—they’ve been through the fire two years in a row as a group that knows exactly how it wants to play, 2) with his back against the wall Daryl Morey will be especially restless heading into the trade deadline, and 3) James Harden is a magician.

Tom Ziller: Lakers. I can’t believe I’m doing this, but Lakers. Why? Anthony Davis hasn’t been in the playoffs much, but when he has, he’s been exemplary. Ask Portland. LeBron is famously an entirely different player in the postseason these days. Defense is a concern, but Dwight Howard hasn’t looked awful in the preseason, Davis can be an All-Defense talent and Danny Green is around to help on the perimeter. Kawhi is a classically frustrating defender for LeBron, but who on the Clippers can slow down Davis? The Clippers feel like the smart pick, but the Lakers feel like a gut pick, despite huge depth issues and LeBron’s age.

Matt Ellentuck: Clippers. Kawhi Leonard and Paul George is a dream duo, and they’ll have ample support from the guys around them like Lou Williams and Montrezl Harrell. The Lakers with Anthony Davis and LeBron James should also contend for this spot, but I don’t trust their bench. The Rockets are a total wild card and tough to bet on in October. The Nuggets are good, but did they get much better? Will Mike Conley fit seamlessly with the Jazz like everyone suspects? There are a lot of questions out West, and the Clippers have the most answers for now.

Ricky O’Donnell: Clippers. The most talented roster in the league from top-to-bottom and the betting favorite for a reason. Leonard and George are going to do their best Michael and Scottie impression as two lockdown defenders and go-to offensive options who leave opponents with nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. The depth is really what sets them apart from their challengers in the West. Montrezl Harrell, Patrick Beverley, Lou Williams, Landry Shamet, even Mo Harkless and JaMychal Green give the Clippers not just a team that can survive load management but the ability to mix-and-match so many different looks in the playoffs.

Title winner

Mike Prada: LA Clippers. Kawhi Leonard eventually busted the 76ers last year, and this Clippers team possesses more offensive talent up and down the roster than even last year’s champions. I expect that to happen again, though a healthy Joel Embiid is a major problem for the size-deficient Clippers.

Michael Pina: Houston. This is my third year in a row picking Houston to win it all. Obviously, third time’s a charm.

Tom Ziller:

Matt Ellentuck: Ditto, TZ. Lakers. Clippers will be the best regular-season team, and then LeBron gets (maybe) his last title. It’ll be ugly. It’ll require midseason trades. And team meetings. Maybe a coach firing. But in the words of our Queen Rihanna, “King is still King, [redacted.]”

Ricky O’Donnell: Clippers. Kawhi’s third title would tie him with LeBron and Curry in the middle of his prime and start to build the case that he’s the greatest winner of this generation of players.

Zito Madu: It has to be the Lakers, for my own sanity. I plan to be very obnoxious this entire season as a fan, and the prospect of all the trash talk coming back to haunt me is too heavy to even consider.

Other NBA predictions for the 2019-2020 season

Team that fails to meet expectations

Mike Prada: Brooklyn. “Expectations” is a funny word here, because this is a transition year for the Nets until they get Kevin Durant back from injury. But if the hope internally is to build on last year’s low playoff seed and win a first-round series, I fear they will fall short. Replacing D’Angelo Russell with Kyrie Irving is a talent upgrade, but not necessarily an output one given Irving’s durability issues. Meanwhile, I fear Irving’s desires will stifle the development of Caris LeVert, Spencer Dinwiddie, and Joe Harris, the latter two of whom emerged last year in large part because the former was injured. If they can’t all thrive at the same time, Brooklyn’s gaping hole at power forward and combustable center rotation become bigger issues.

Michael Pina: Milwaukee. If you think they’ll be better than last year, chances are they won’t be. Malcolm Brogdon will be missed.

Tom Ziller: Denver. As the Nuggets showed last season, they have some fantastic players and they are well-coached. Nikola Jokic is incredible. But the West is tougher, and while Jerami Grant and Michael Porter Jr. are nice additions to the rotation, the overall star power compared to Denver’s rivals is striking. Jamal Murray is quite nice, and proved it in the playoffs. But he’s the Nuggets’ No. 2 player. Other No. 2 players on West contenders right now: LeBron James, Paul George, Russell Westbrook, D’Angelo Russell (and eventually Klay Thompson). Denver has depth and upside — they could very well threaten for the No. 1 seed again. But maybe that was a bit of a mirage.

Matt Ellentuck: Denver. Like TZ said, the lack of starpower is striking. And does Nikola Jokic replicate what he did last season. They’ll make the playoffs, but how deep do they actually go? The West got better, and they stayed pretty complacent.

Ricky O’Donnell: Lakers. There’s just such a huge load for LeBron to carry, not only in terms of shot creation but also defensively, especially in the playoffs. The depth on this team is not impressive once you get past Danny Green and Kyle Kuzma. For as unstoppable as LeBron and AD should be in the two-man game in the postseason, there isn’t enough around them for me to believe they can live up their championship-or-bust aspirations.

Zito Madu: Milwaukee. I really don’t think they replicate what they achieved last season, and I think teams will be smarter in how to defend Giannis Antetokounmpo, after seeing how he was stymied in the playoffs.

Most surprising team

Mike Prada: Miami or Toronto. Surprise is relative, since I think most have these two teams firmly in the East playoff picture. But assuming Toronto doesn’t blow up its roster, I think both they and the Heat are actually be playoff locks and possibly closer to the 76ers and Bucks than they are to the rest of the pack. Toronto was still an excellent team when Kawhi Leonard didn’t play last year, and Miami’s funky roster has a ton of upside with the arrival of star Jimmy Butler, the continued development of Justise Winslow, a bigger role for Bam Adebayo, and the emergence of rookie off guard Tyler Herro.

Michael Pina: I think Dallas can make the playoffs. That would be pretty surprising.

Tom Ziller: Orlando. My pick for the No. 3 seed in the East, Aaron Gordon should be an all-star, Jonathan Isaac should make the All-Defense team, Steve Clifford will be in Coach of the Year running with Brett Brown, Erik Spoelstra, Frank Vogel, and Doc Rivers.

Matt Ellentuck: Dallas. It won’t surprise me, world’s largest Luka Doncic stan, but the Mavericks will scrape a bottom seed in the playoffs. The Slovenian adult-child is good enough to get them there, and the addition of Kristaps Porzingis makes one of the most lethal one-two pick-and-roll punches in the league.

Ricky O’Donnell: Bulls. From 22 wins last year to the playoffs this season. Chicago’s eternally maligned front office changed their processes this offseason and came away with great group of free agents that will complement their young core. Jim Boylen’s shtick will seem a lot more endearing when the team isn’t terrible.

Team that gets left out of the Western Conference playoff picture

Mike Prada: This’ll be a bold pick, but I’m gonna say the Golden State Warriors. I want to believe that Stephen Curry and Draymond Green have enough left in the tank to stage a two-person revenge tour on the league. I want to believe Klay Thompson can return from his torn ACL and turn back the clock to 2015. But that roster is sooooooo thin, and I suspect it’ll be too much to ask Curry to carry the entire offense and Green to do the same on the other end for a full 82-game season.

Michael Pina: The Blazers have the coolest backcourt in basketball, intriguing young talent, and one of the league’s most respected coaching staffs. They just made the Western Conference Finals and enter the season with a monstrous $140 million payroll. But after years of baked in continuity through and through, Portland’s roster has quietly been made over in several key areas. I’m not sure if it’s fair to say they’ll be “screwed” in the Western Conference—a playoff appearance should still be in the cards—but their floor is lower than a lot of people think.

Tom Ziller: The Kings. They should claim their first winning season in more than a decade, but a winning record isn’t enough in the West, where it might take 47 or so wins to get into the playoffs. How cruel, to improve so much on the strength of young players only to fall short because NBA franchise owners are too cowardly or greedy to approve all-league playoff seeding.

Matt Ellentuck: San Antonio. Eventually this franchise has to succumb to not having enough talent. Gregg Popovich’s wizardry needs a break. And Luka Doncic is going to give one to him.

Ricky O’Donnell: Spurs. I just can’t believe San Antonio’s diet of midrange jumpers from DeMar DeRozan and LaMarcus Aldridge is going to work as effectively as it did last year. I’m excited to Dejounte Murray, Derrick White, and Lonnie Walker, but I think this team ultimately falls short of the playoffs.

First starter quality player to get traded

Mike Prada: Andre Iguodala. The market for Iguodala’s services will heat up quickly. Someone is going to get off to a worse-than-expected start and get antsy about their wing defense. Someone is going to make an aggressive move to stop one of the LA teams from sliding Iguodala in as a buyout guy in mid-February. A team to watch, for Iguodala or someone else: the Bucks, who recouped two extra draft picks and a trade exception from the Malcolm Brogdon sign-and-trade and have plenty of incentive to maximize their window this season before The Free Agency That Shall Not Be Named.

Michael Pina: He can’t be dealt until Dec. 15, but when you combine the dearth of power forwards around the league with New York’s crowded frontcourt and eventual desire to lose games on purpose, Marcus Morris shouldn’t get too comfortable in a Knicks jersey.

Tom Ziller: Andrew Wiggins. I don’t know who is taking Wiggins, but the Chris Paul-Russell Westbrook trade proved there is no such thing as an unmovable contract in the NBA (something we already knew based on league history). With a new front office in place and the need for a clean break to vault a Karl-Anthony Towns team forward, the Wolves need to find a new home for Wiggins.

Matt Ellentuck: Devin Booker. He’s got his money secured and can’t really lose by demanding out, right? I don’t Booker making it through a fifth straight year of awfulness in Phoenix, especially with there being little reason to buy into the future of the franchise. Maybe he’s the piece that’s used to move Wiggins from Minnesota.

Whitney Medworth: Kevin Love. I think it’s all smoke and mirrors that he wants to stay in Cleveland, be The Guy, and work things out there. At some point, Love is going to want to win basketball games again and I think a team will find the money to make it work. He’s not really going to live in Cleveland forever, right?

Ricky O’Donnell: Marc Gasol. The Raptors have both Gasol and Serge Ibaka on expiring deals. One feels likely to get moved to a contender before the deadline. Can we fit Gasol on the Clippers?

Harry Lyles Jr.: Devin Booker needs to demand his way out of Phoenix. I don’t know that he would, but he should, so I’m going with Book.

Zito Madu: This seemed to be an easy pick with Domantas Sabonis, until whatever happened just happened. But now beyond that, there’s just no way that Chris Paul remains on the Thunder, is it?

The first Lakers team meeting will come on ....

Mike Prada: March 1. I expect a quick start that slowly descends into midseason apathy before a resurgent playoff run.

Michael Pina: Is “the morning after they get blown out by the Clippers on opening night” too soon?

Tom Ziller: Nov. 27 or 28, after a loss to Lonzo Ball and the Pelicans drops LA to 8-10.

Matt Ellentuck: LOL — the week of Thanksgiving right after they lose to the Warriors and Kings at home.

Whitney Medworth: There won’t be one! They’re going to be fine.

Ricky O’Donnell: January, when Rajon Rondo writes a lengthy Instagram post defending his younger teammates from two stars.

Harry Lyles Jr.: Non-existent — LOL.

Zito Madu: Immediately after the Christmas game.

How many threes will Ben Simmons make?

Mike Prada: 15, which is about one every five games if he plays a full season. That sounds about right.

Michael Pina: Two.

Tom Ziller: Zero in the regular season, three in a single close-out game in the playoffs.

Matt Ellentuck: Four. On like 26 tries.

Ricky O’Donnell: Three. On like 15 tries.

Whitney Medworth: I hope like ... 100 ... so everyone stops talking about this one day :)

Zito Madu: None at all. The screenshots of him being given acres of space to shoot will live on forever.