#this is kinda a vent more than anything

[thezangoosler]

i kinda get why people don't talk about this, but nobody tells you about the grossest things that will happen to your body when you start neglecting your hygiene (i mainly mean because of depression, because that's what i suffer from, but i know there's lots of different reasons why someone might be struggling so much with keeping themselves clean, and all those reasons are valid. if you could simply maintain good hygiene, you would. people don't force this upon themselves)

people will talk about depression rooms, bad smells that come from not showering for weeks or even months, greasy air, etc etc, but nobody tells you that you might have been wearing the same bra without showering or taking it off for so long that sweat will form an actual crust on your nipples out of i assume skin flakes or something

nobody talks about how bad smelling white shit will start to build up in your belly button that dries as yellow ish crust

nobody tells you that you might have gone so long without fully cleaning your genitals that an almost jelly like substance might start to form and stick to your underwear, and maybe other people knew this, but nobody told me that smegma would start to build up on your genitalia (i was terrified for the longest time that i had a yeast infection or something, but no, it's always just been smegma)

[vulptalia]

trying to heal

I have a lot of head cannon'd lore about these two.

Primarily Arthur was never a good dad, but he loved Alfred, he just had no idea how to raise him without hurting him (absent, abusive, etc.)

From the AmeRev on. all the way to the 1940s, they never talked about what happened or how it affected them (how do you forgive your abusive parent, even when they're trying to improve? How do you forgive yourself for hurting your child?). It wasn't until the midst of the war did they begin to open up and heal. This drawing is meant to be in the 1960s.

[saddevilsworld]

my hearts not broken, it’s holding on to the place where it was you and i

[zebratimw]

Spirit animal SQH

[laugtherhyena]

Continuing the rant-iness of last post's notes onto this one i think (I appreciate if they're read, i think I'm too self-conscious to have them in the post itself)

[tee-shot]

I won't apologize for my disability, and I won't apologize for who I was when I didn't know how to take care of myself. If you think it was distressing for you, imagine how it felt to have my entire life shift in a direction I never expected.

Nobody anticipates being disabled. Or at least most people don't. And now I'm finally realizing I was never able bodied- And that's fucking hard to accept!

But hey, at least I'm finally starting to understand how to listen to my body, and how to handle myself in a way that works. That's what's most important to me.

Look out for yourself and your safety. Your ability to do things or not do things isn't your fault. People who blame you for them just shouldn't be in your life, full stop.

[jinxed-sinner]

Alright here's my full (possibly hot) take on redesigning Hazbin Hotel characters and making a video showcasing those redesigns while you criticize the official designs.

First and foremost, you are redesigning someone else's OCs. Hazbin Hotel is, in essence, a passion project for Viv. How she talks about it makes that incredibly clear to me. The only difference between Hazbin Hotel and, for example, the story I'm developing surrounding some of my D&D OCs is that Hazbin Hotel got picked up by a streaming service and is significantly more popular than most passsion projects get.

Personally if someone wanted to redesign my D&D OCs, I wouldn't mind it, in fact I'd probably think it was really cool that someone would want to redesign one of my OCs to be closer to their tastes in terms of what they like to draw. I would, however, be made incredibly uncomfortable if someone made a video redesigning them where they also pointed out everything they thought was wrong with the designs. I didn't design these specific D&D characters to be 1-to-1 accurate to their classes in D&D or to look professionally designed. I designed them how I wanted them to look for the story I'm telling because I don't plan to ever play them in a campaign. The main character Avlan is a paladin, and I can acknowledge that his design might not look exactly like a paladin. One of the tabaxi in the story (Ice) is a bard and the other (Spark) is a ranger, and I acknowledge that their classes might not come across well in their designs. The single tiefling I've designed for this story (Tragedy) is a cleric but might not come off as one in their design. But I specifically designed them to be easy for me to draw because I want to be able to tell this story through my art. Having someone say "oh, Avlan's armor isn't paladin enough!" or "Avlan's fur colors and patterns should be closer to a wild rabbit's because harengon shouldn't be based on domestic rabbit colors!" would fucking hurt (especially because I'm so attached to Avlan, but it would hurt just as much if similar comments were made about Ice, Spark, or Tragedy). I am so passionate about these characters and being told their designs are bad or wrong in some way would be like a stab in the heart, and it would still feel like a stab in the heart if this story ever got a massive fandom behind it. Giving Avlan more complex armor because you think it'd look cool or just want to see what it'd look like? Sure, if I could draw more complex armor I'd give him more complex armor too. Giving him more complex armor but also shitting on the armor I decide to draw him with? My motivation to draw him in his armor, potentially draw him period, would be dead for WEEKS.

Why is it suddenly okay just because someone's passion project was picked up by Amazon Prime? Why is it suddenly okay to be "fixing" someone's character designs just because the project has a much bigger budget than most artists get and is on a popular streaming service? It's not. I don't care if you're a professional character designer, or think a specific character would look better with certain traits, or just don't like the character designs.

Hazbin Hotel is still Vivienne Medrano's passion project, and redesigning her characters and making videos talking about everything you think is "wrong" with them is, honestly, disgusting. You can make videos explaining your choices in your redesigns without putting down the designs that already exist, whether you like them or not. Me thinking Lucifer looks better with his tail not restricted to his full demon form doesn't suddenly mean I don't like his official design, because I fucking love it. If you wouldn't do it to an artist whose passion project is just a webcomic here on Tumblr, don't fucking do it to an artist whose passion project got picked up for a cartoon by a big streaming service (or any company for that matter).

[chewysgummies]

Weird question: It is reasonable for me to be so protective of killbot 86 to the point where I do not want him to be shipped with anyone in WanderOverYonder simply because I do not like them enough for me to let them be near him?

[onyourstageleft]

I'm going to be a certified library professional in a few short weeks, I have a solid understanding of the need to read broadly and should have a strong personal commitment to doing so, but more often than not, I end up reading fanfic for the one relatively obscure YA universe that has engrained itself into my very being rather than reading literally anything else and I don't know how to feel about it

[bearsinpotatosacks]

Update on my Whumptober thoughts: Not all the prompts will be posted, I have all 31 planned out but I found out that you don't have to post all 31. If a fic is finished, I'll post it but there's some big beasts that I want to write properly instead of rush. Also, I might not even write all 31. I want the completionist title but I don't have the time nor energy to force myself to write all the prompts and I did it last year and it wasn't like life-changing. I like Whumptober because the prompts help my creativity, spark some inspiration (talking about my Delancey Brothers Fic) but the perfectionist in me just beats myself up about not getting enough fics done before October or not writing enough each day to get them finished and then writing fics that all sound the same or the ideas being kind of shitty because I'm forcing them. I want to do my ideas justice rather than mass produce shit I don't like because I feel I need to, it's a constant line I walk between "I want to write something well and that I'm proud of so might be inactive for a while on AO3" and "I want to get this idea out there so need to post a bunch of stuff now"

[fruutbaag]

if my brain could stop telling me im not Really enjoying things and im just humoring people all the time and i don't actually care about abything thatd be great. would really like it to stop doing that

[wayfayrr]

I may not read all of your works, because I like Wild/Sage/Tears/Cal the most and ship other Links with other people. You know Midna, Marin, Malon (and Wars with you now I suppose). But I know you're doing a splendid job. It might not always feel that way and I am aware that compliments from outside might not change how you feel inside. But please don't give up. The worst you can do is lose passion for something you love to do.

Not sure if you experience that too but often we tend to compare ourselves to others. And then talk ourselves down because we aren't as good as them. However people from outside just see two pieces of art and are happy, you know?

I guess it happens to all of us eventually but don't be so hard on yourself. You are doing great. I don't want to say measure your level of skill with your fame on tumblr but just look at how fast you got from 300 to 400 followers. I believe that shows how good you are at what you're doing and also how kind you are. And please never feel like you have to force content or writing. Not for yourself or us. Creativity can't be forced.

I hope this helps a little bit. If you ever need someone to talk I'm sure some of us are there for you and have an open ear *ruffles your hair*

Oh yeah I completely get not reading everything - everyone has their own preferences after all also you shipping wars with me is so funny ngl and losing passion is something I've been scared about (and very close to over the last couple of months) but I'm trying hard to not give up on it.

I do often compare myself to others because I've simply BEEN compared to others for most of my life and it's another thing I'm trying to stop doing. It isn't healthy and it just kinda destroys my own self-esteem lol :P but it's easier said than done.

I think there's a little pressure from how fast I've grown but it's getting easier to deal with than the reasons I was thinking of stopping for, there was just some memories to do with certain parts of what/who I used to write for and who I interacted with that has made me just want to leave a few times over now, but I am pulling through those feelings and not letting them break me! hell they've even helped me to write about other things - it's how tears came into existence after all. I probably won't be leaving this fandom for a good while, even if I did stay for a little out of spite to my own feelings - and while creativity can't be forced the right situations to bring it out can be :) I procrastinate on assessments by writing lol

thank you for being here though <333 it's nice being able to have a bit of a vent like this, plus having a bit of an involuntary writing break has helped a LOT to get me back into it

[sysig]

Clash of sensibilities (Patreon)

[recallback-art]

Typical middle child behaviour, am I right?

[adrift-in-thyme]

AAAAUUUUGGHHH

[medicinemane]

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