#this is gospel to me

[kneelbeforezod]

In every mistake, in every err in judgement, in every fuck up and in every relapse, there is a lesson, if you choose to see it.

Such things are universal. They happen to literally all humans, and in doing so, cannot be used to define you as an individual. It is how you respond to such things that truly matters.

The beauty of your being isn't marred by your trauma or things you wish you hadn't done. It shines even more brightly as it is refracted off of them like mirrors, showing the true source of your beauty, your strength, your resilience and your softness.

[tsunadesupremacist]

Sasuke is an overall decent driver but he can't help himself from breaking traffic laws when he gets impatient. When he gets pulled over, he claims to be a sovereign citizen and thus the laws don't apply to him. I can see him arguing that he's "travelling", not "driving", and when asked to show his license, he says he doesn't have one because he doesn't need one anyway since he's not driving a commercial vehicle and conducting trade.

He doesn't believe an ounce of his own words' bullshit and he doesn't even believe his excuses are going to actually going to get him off the hook. He does it to piss off the officer.

naruto driving headcanons

Naruto - definitely not licensed. debatable whether he actually knows which one is the brake pedal. as long as Sakura is alive he will not be allowed behind the wheel of a car. unknowable/10

Sasuke - also not technically licensed, but all things considered a pretty decent driver. probably started driving well before he was legally old enough to. 7.5/10

Sakura - road rage extraordinaire. swears up and down she goes the speed limit but in truth goes at minimum 10 over. “speed limit is a suggestion” more like speed limit is a challenge. at the very least she gets them where they need to go. 5.5/10

Sai - never learned to drive until he met team 7. between Naruto and Sakura’s influences, he won’t be getting licensed for at least the next 6 years. good luck/10

Shikamaru - truly cannot be arsed. if asked to drive he claims to not have a license, but he definitely does. another unknowable/10 but I like to think in a pinch he’d be pretty good at it.

Choji - reliable driver but has a tendency to be late. gets stressed out when he has more than a few passengers. 6/10

Ino - wants to be a passenger princess soo badly. unfortunately for her, she’s the best on her team. being good at driving is her curse. woefully, 10/10

Kiba - team 8’s designated driver, believe it or not. he is…not good at it, per se, but better than the rest of them. having two sets of eyes on the road tends to help. 6.5/10

Hinata - gets so stressed out she forgets how to brake. she’ll be white knuckling the wheel going 50 in a residential while her passengers pray for their lives in the backseat. -2/10 her dad’s insurance is through the roof

Shino - morally opposed to driving. he hasn’t confirmed why but the running theory is that a swarm of his bugs faceplanted into the windshield once and traumatized him. unknowable/10

Neji - doesn’t believe in right-of-way. refuses to use his mirrors. whole heartedly believes he is god’s gift to the interstate. by some miracle has never gotten into a crash, but if any of his passengers are sensible people he is banned from the wheel. 0/10

Tenten - makes Sakura’s road rage look like divinely inspired patience. honestly she’s not even mad she just enjoys it. has to be actively talked down from brake checking people. banned from the wheel 0/10

Lee - while technically a perfect driver (obeys every speed limit, never makes an illegal turn, maneuvers like butter), having him in the front seat is such an intolerable experience he’s also banned from the wheel. those unfortunate enough to have witnessed it don’t speak of their experience, but rumors involve something along the lines of a custom-made Gai inspirational quotes driving playlist. 0/10

Temari - grew up driving her brothers around. Absolutely hates it. when she’s in a car she’s got her feet up on the dashboard and always has the aux. if she were to drive again, 9.5/10

Gaara - an…extremely calm, level headed driver? side effect of RBF is that everyone is always waiting for him to snap and run someone over. he never has. probably listens to calming classical music or something while in traffic jams. 10000/10

Kankuro - I find it funny to believe he’s the actual passenger princess. unknowable/10

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Actually, I think this does link in with a wider conversation that I have been thinking for a while Tumblr maybe needs to hear.

There's a common meme on this site now that no one here has any reading comprehension skills. The best one is, of course, the original "No offense but reading comprehension on this site is piss poor/How dare you say we piss on the poor" post, which gave rise to the nickname "pissing-on-the-poor website". There's also the "I like pancakes/How dare you say waffles are terrible" one. Both of these are great, because they're silly jokey ways to show two closely related phenomena that are probably the commonest ways to fail a reading comprehension check.

The first is someone reading certain catchphrases or buzzwords in the post, and based on their own biases or prior experiences or whatever else, their brain simply fills in what it reckons the poster is saying on the topic. Instead of reading the rest of the sentence and digesting it, the reader then just uses their assumption as the interpretation, and reacts to that.

The second is closely related, because it also uses biases and prior experiences to to interpret the post, but rather than ignoring what the OP is actually saying, it instead performs a series of gymnastic leaps to construct a whole new assertion on the OP's behalf that simply isn't there.

There's also a third, of course; that one is people being so eager to feel smug and superior over someone they perceive as Bad that they wilfully assume the OP is stupid or being serious when they're actually joking. And if the reader hadn't been so blinded by their desire to get to look down on someone, they'd have seen the very obvious tells, sometimes even including sentences like "Obviously this is a joke." (I think we have all seen examples of these. Also, in a bid to avoid as many reading comprehension fails here as possible, this does not include misunderstandings borne entirely of neurodiverse struggles to parse intentions; but, neurodiverse people are just as likely as neurotypicals to have ego play a part in their misinterpretation of others, and that is what this point is about.)

And the thing is... actually, we are all capable of any of these. I imagine a sizable chunk of people reading until this point were probably thinking "Lol, yeah, people are so stupid," but na, nage, I'm not having that. Literally everyone does these sometimes. And it becomes a particular risk when the topic under discussion is something that might brush against an issue that is a pressure point for you, like a social justice talking point that you are forever having to argue with internet strangers about, for example. Your brain holds schemas! And sometimes it likes to pattern match things before it deigns to tell you about its findings! And that can hit you right in the emotions, which if they are strong enough, really can shut down all rational thought.

But. This brings me to the real point of the post.

Because the thing is, we have all saddled up and gone to war under these conditions, or at the very least been strongly tempted to. And a vital skill that literally everyone has to learn, sooner or later, is:

Before you hit 'reply', double check the post to make sure you fucking understood it.

And that does not mean "simply re-read, confirm your bias, carry on." It means, "Is it possible to read this post from the point of view of someone who doesn't intend it the way I've taken it? If I put myself in the shoes of an innocent, could they still have written these words? Is there another interpretation for these phrases?"

And you do have to do this step. You simply do have to. Because if your desire is to 'clap back' and call someone a gargling knobskin made of garbage, fuck me sideways but you must see that it is imperative that you check if they actually deserve that kind of treatment first. You cannot spend your time claiming that we must all choose to be kind and then not bother doing your due diligence before screaming a person's various and assorted bigotries at them. If you misread it, and they were innocent - you are the raging aggressive cunt in this situation.

It does not matter that you reacted from an emotional place of normally having to defend yourself either, by the way. Sure, that makes the quality of your human soul better than that of the average Redditor who just enjoys anonymously hurting people, I guess? But it's also irrelevant. If you messaged someone and called them a misogynist because you performed several mental somersaults and landed on your own sore spot when they meant no such thing, you are the attacker. You owe them an apology. And yeah, sure, you can explain your over-reaction as the product of your normal experiences if you like, but that is only an explanation, not an excuse. You are still the asshole here. You still need to apologise and mean it.

And you could have avoided it if you'd done that due diligence, as you should have. If you're going to take a swing, make sure it's the right target. This was once described to me as donkey people - they don't think, they just kick. This is admittedly a little unkind to donkeys, who always do their due diligence, but I feel it's an apt metaphor.

TL;DR: If you feel moved to angrily reply to something, first make sure you've interpreted it right. Don't be a donkey person. And if you ask for clarification, people are innocent until proven guilty. Ask nicely. If they are a bigot, you can then smelt them for parts.

[why-bless-your-heart]

Imagine you're a young woman and you're betrothed to a righteous man who's unwilling to expose you to shame and before you leave your father's house (or perhaps the temple) an angel comes to you and hails you as the favored one of God and tells you that you will have a son, and you question him because you are a virgin and intend to remain a virgin, and the angel tells you that the Holy Spirit will overshadow you and tells you that your cousin, who has not been able to conceive for years, is already in her sixth month of pregnancy. So you tell the angel that you want to do whatever God asks of you, and you tell the angel that yes, you will bear this child, and you immediately go to your cousin's house to help her prepare for the baby. And your cousin sees you and she greets you with the words of David welcoming the Ark of the covenant, and tells you that the child leapt in her womb at your coming, and you know that everything God has promised your people is coming to fruition, and He has chosen you to be the mother of the messiah, and you sing the Magnificat. You sing of God fulfilling His promises using the language of the psalms, and you sing of your place in His plan. And imagine an angel comes to your betrothed when he is afraid and tells him to take you into his house because your child was the son of God, and imagine that same angel comes to your husband when your son is in danger and tells him to escape to Egypt, and comes again when it is safe to return home, and imagine the thirty years of the Holy Family. Imagine the years contemplating the face of God, the years listening to His voice and eating dinner with Him, and imagine when you return from the temple and He is not with you, and you are frightened. Because you realize what the prophecy means, that your heart will be pierced with a sword. And imagine that, years later, your husband having died, your son a young man, you are at a wedding, and you hear that there is no more wine. Imagine that you go to your son, and you tell him. And He asks you, "Woman, what is that to you or me? My hour has not yet come," and you know what His hour will be. And you know what that will be to you and Him, you know that this road you set Him on will be agony, you know that you will lose Him. But they have no wine. The groom is here, the wedding feast is waiting, and they have no wine, and so you go to the servants and you speak your last recorded words in the bible. "Do whatever He tells you." And imagine you stood at the foot of the cross, and you heard the Son of God call out to His Father in the words of the psalms, and it was in the accent he learned from you.

[pillsopa]

anyone remember adam parrish, the bella swan of henrietta. let’s sit and think now…

[faeriefully]

no, girl im fine— I’m just crying over the gospel again

[wolfythewitch]

Constantly thinking about how Joseph probably died long before Jesus did. Did Jesus know? For a time did he stay uncharacteristically close to his father's side? Did he trail at his back? Did he grieve for the living?

[sunshades]

ok i was saying. heathcliff:

3 ids mirroring women but he's always serving it masc as hell

was "a weak child"

past arts always have him layering clothes or slouching

had that one haircut at 18

person he's known since he was a child makes him feel unguarded and weak but is also his closest friend and person that knows him best in the world

grew up competing with and imitating a horrible male role model, then realized that wasn't the type of man he wanted to be and decided to forge his own idea of masculinity

out of linton's many insults he's particularly hurt by the comment on his worth as a man and how he would never be a proper husband

goal is to become a "man of quality"- initially meant as a thing about money and appearances, but after his canto it becomes about being a trustworthy guy who can protect the person he loves and whom people can rely on, a role he's actually proud of

gets flustered and really happy when commented on how he's "grown into a right proper gentleman"

pequod id wears chest bandages (because u know he of all people wouldn't do it safely)

is literally from T Corp.?

trans man

thank you for listening

[tiffanyachings]

it would have been very beautiful. camilla would have had to cook (horrible bone soup)

[lookitseddie]

i'm listening to old darlin' audios, and I really think that the mischaracterization of darlin' comes from the fact that the characters mischaracterize them (for reasons that make sense in lore). like, one of the first things david every says to them is 'i know you think you can survive anything'

no. they don't. and i'm starting to think that some of you believed him

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

I love how Epic is a story about how sometimes, you change in ways you can't undo. Sometimes it's a choice, and sometimes it's something that happens to you; often, it's both. And in some ways, you may be made worse. You may make mistakes. You may become someone you don't recognize, and you may not like who you now see in the mirror. You might lose your old self in the process of surviving.

But when you do, the people who love you will still be there. Not because of who you used to be, or how you might heal or become better, or out of ignorance of who you now are. Just because they love you, and you do not need to be perfect to be loved. You just need to be there.

And they'll be waiting for you.

[frownyalfred]

"you're ruining this fandom by posting [headcanon/fic idea]!"

yeah okay. sure. I'm the big bad wolf leading away innocent fans into my den of fanon and OOCness. by posting my silly little fanfic, I am absolutely doing real, actual harm to people online. and I have a...responsibility to....not do that? like, what? do people actually read what they're typing on here?

[dismas-n-dismay]

Marcille could survive Chimera Falin, Falin could not survive Scylla Marcille- let’s get that straight. The difference is that Marcille doesn’t get honed in to her monsterfucker tendencies until she sees Chimera Falin whereas Falin would have imagined Scylla Marcille hundreds of times and would have snapped upon seeing it in real life and went to go kiss her gf while telling everyone not to worry about Marcille killing like 5 people because she’s the wife

And you KNOW Scylla Marcille would be whipped for Falin, don’t play with me Ryoko Kui told me herself

[incesthemes]

something i keep thinking about is who mary is to sam. she didn't raise him; he doesn't know her except through the stories john and dean told him. she exists in pictures and print, not in memories. she's a stranger to him, yet his entire life has revolved around her. he seeks revenge for a woman he's never met or known or loved. she's just a secondhand god to a nonbeliever, omnipresent but never actually there, never actually touched or held or shared. he's outside the church looking in on the mass but never able to partake. it must be alienating, for your family to have known god while you're left only to your own faith.

[bisclavret]

arthurian cinema: a vibe collection

my rule of thumb when it comes to watching movies is "must a movie be 'good'? is it not enough for it to have a bit of a weird/trippy/artsy/horny/allegorical/gay vibe?" and thank god for that because arthurian cinema has this sort of vibe in spades! so here's an assortment of some arthurian films i've seen + a reason or two why they passed my nebulous yet specific vibe check:

lancelot du lac 1974 is my #1 forever for the doomed repressed symbolism-soaked post-grail pre-camlann so-rigid-it's-camp atmosphere and the interpersonal dynamics between lancelot guinevere and gauvain the likes of which i haven't seen anywhere else outside of the texts

tristan et iseult 1972 is really just avant-garde performance art + the surviving copy is really rank which adds a je ne sais quoi... and congrats to tristan on his top surgery!

morgane et ses nymphes for the "my lesbian roadtrip led me to morgan le fay's realm and now she's obsessed with me" plot and the dreamy hazy eurotrash energies

perceval le gallois 1978 has such kitschy surrealist teletubbies-esque visuals that it has nearly defeated me. i still haven't finished it. it's rare that a film feels like an assault on my eyeballs and yet i am compelled and i cannot look away

sir gawain and the green knight 2002 is a strangely horny stained glass animation that will give you motion sickness while saying bi rights over and over and over. it feels like a religious sunday cartoon. it won a bafta

the buried giant – a beautifully atmospheric novel in its own right – is getting adapted into a stop motion film soon! i already know it will earn a spot on this list so consider this a place-holder

the green knight 2021 for the giants scene (and the 360-degree sequence of a tied-up gawain Losing The Game)

a knight's tale entirely because they dance to bowie's golden years

knightriders for the most charming merlin design i've ever seen and also for the whole knights jousting on motorbikes concept

monty python and the holy grail for just about everything but above all else the bit where they're animated and then the animator abruptly dies of a heart attack and then they stop being animated

excalibur 1981 for everything as well but i cannot overstate the effect lancelot's dream where he wrestles his armor and homoerotically un-stabs himself had on me. i will never shut up about it

king arthur: legend of the sword just kidding i haven't seen this nor do i intend to. i'm just enamored with this 2-second shot of a tree girl and her tree titties and i think that everyone should witness her

[adodora]

I was trying to explain the concept of the omegaverse to some friends of mine who don't know shit about fanfiction, and I have discovered that the words "how much do you know about wolf reproductive anatomy" are not, in fact, the kind of thing you should start with if you want your audience to keep faith on your mental faculties