#NONE THAT THE FATHER GAVE TO CHRIST WILL HE LOSE

[faeriefully]

no, girl im fine— I’m just crying over the gospel again

[romana-after-dark]

Rooms on Fire: Sundown

Dark!Santiago Garcia x Fem!Reader

Dark!Francisco Morales x Fem!Reader

Dark!William Miller x Fem!Reader

Dark!Benjamin Miller x Fem!Reader

Also: FishBen, and an assortment of other M/M relationships (no Millercest). Everyone is Bisexual

Series Masterlist: Main Masterlist

Spotify playlist

Summery: Ben shows his true colors

Warnings and Content:

DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT

DUB CON MOSTLY but there WILL BE NON CON. Major character deaths, forced breeding, physical abuse, brainwashing, manipulation, violence, gore, alcoholism/addiction, BIG OLE BLASPHEMY WARNING like this cult appropriates a lot of religious themes and they call reader their Madonna, Santi is called the Pope, like all that stuff. However, this is a cult so I mean. It happens. None of it are my thoughts on religion or meant to make fun of religion or demonize religious people. Disgusting views on virginity. Attempted rape outside the boys. T*m warning. Age gap. Creepy terrible men. Non-reader rape, dub con, violence. Covert incest, massive mommy issues, sexual abuse all around, past grooming by parental figure. no CSA but the victim isn't much older. some Bates Motel type shit. I cannot properly warn you for everything, without just telling the story but consider this a major warning that there are dark dark themes. No one involved here is morally clean, and who you perceive as the good guy cannot be relied on. Don't come to my story and say im romanticizing these things until at least the story ends.

Extra warnings for chapter: Oh my god the violence. Violent is here. Im so sorry.

4.4k words

"I can picture every move that a man could make Getting lost in her loving is your first mistake Sundown, you better take care If I find you been creeping 'round my back stairs Sometimes I think it's a sin When I feel like I'm winning, when I'm losing again" ~Sundown, Gordon Lightfoot

Rey always had a way of making things better.

You were sat on the kitchen counter in a loose tank top and baggy shorts that may or may not be Will’s boxers, watching Ray cook for you an Iris. She’d been feeling unwell this morning, no doubt the stress of everything that happened the last few weeks getting to her normally impenetrable facade. You found out she caught the tail end of what Will did to Jonah. Now both of you had watched your fathers die.

But Rey had been emotional support to both of you. You leaned more on your husbands, but Rey gave a sense of normalcy. He was a lot like Ben, making it so you could let go of the guilt that plagued you constantly, clearing your mind of the swirling thoughts of Beatriz and Santiago’s true natures.

Will was safe. Protective and gentle and strong, he continued to dot on you, massaging vitamin c oil into your scars to reduce them now that they could take a little bit of pressure. Your healer, your guardian. You thanked him profusely for protecting you against Jonah’s attempt to rape you, even if parts of you still wished he wasn’t dead.

Francisco was who you were the most honest with. You could tell him how you felt about Santiago and Beatriz, work out your confusing thoughts in soft whispers when you were with only him. Santiago never let Francisco sleep with you anymore at night.  

Walking past you to open the oven, he gave your hand a squeeze, lingering a bit. There was nothing romantic or sexual about it; he just wanted you to feel better. To know he was there. He was better than this place, you knew now. Better than this world.

“Madonna! There you are!” Ben rushes in with Will behind him, reaching for you. “Christ! I was worried!”

You’re a bit shocked, but can’t help sliding into his arms. “What do you mean? I’m right here…”

Ben holds you close, your body pressed against his, skin to skin making you cringe. It wasn’t him, it was the idea of touch lately at all. 

Will clarified. “You said you were going to be in the garden, we were worried when we didn’t see you.”

You try to squirm out of Ben’s arms. His grip is hard and uncomfortable… he’s too close. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, just- ow, Ben- I didn’t think I needed to let you know? I never did before… Ben, please-” He’s kissing you now, your cheek, your neck, your lips… you don’t want Rey and Iris to see you like this… You hear Iris say something, but can’t quite make it out.

“That was before. With everything that’s happened, Jonah, the assasination attempt, we need to know where you are, always.” You didn’t like him talking about Jonah in front of Iris. You didn’t like him talking about Jonah in general. You squirm and try to dodge his kisses.

He rubs against the deepest burn on your belly, making you whimper, trying to push him away. Memories of Jonah’s attack flash in your hands, and suddenly he’s pulled off you. You think for a moment it’s Will, but you see Ben’s blonde hair fisted in Iris’s hand.

“She said stop!” Iris yanks him away and horror drops in your stomach. Ben wouldn’t hurt her, no, you didn’t need to worry, Ben was loving, fun, sunshine- He swung, clocking Iris on the jaw.

What happened next was a blur. Reyansh was on Ben is a second, a rage you’d never seen from your sweet guard before, and the two rays of sunshine throwing hands. Reyansh is slammed against the wall and you shout, wanting to run to him but before you even move Will’s hand is on your wrist. You watch two men you love beating on each other, Rey kneeing Ben in the balls and throwing him to the ground where he momentarily had the advantage. Ben, however, gripped Rey’s hair and used the momentum to roll their bodies over so Ben was on top. You’d seen Ben use the same move during sex. 

“WILL! DO SOMETHING!” You scream, watching them hurt each other but Ben with the clear advantage. Still, all he does is hold you back, fingers stroking your hair in an attempt to placate you, but you can’t stand by… still, you can’t get in the middle of a bloody fist fight, especially after watching Jonah die… why couldn’t Will step in when he clearly had the strength to? Ben has the upper hand, and looks like he’s close to killing rey the way Jonah died.

You see Iris make a move to get Ben off him, and Francisco who was previously frozen in shock runs to her. She tried to get out of his grasp, but he simply pushes her away and tackles Ben down. Francisco uses his weight to pin him, using a soothing voice to try and calm the fit. You yank your hand, hand, releasing it from Will’s grasp and painfully pulling on the burnt skin but you needed to get to Rey. Iris pulls his head on her lap, and he spits out some blood onto her dress but gives his girl a weak smile.

“You alright, my love?” He asks her, despite you cleaning blood off his face and her seeming unharmed.

She chuckles, crying but gives him a smile as well. “I’m alright, baby. I’m alright.”

Will is standing above you. You see Ben and Francisco are rising now, Frankie still holding Ben.

“What the hell was that, Saha!”

Rey doesn’t dignify Will with an answer, but you turn to him, giving a little bite to your tone. 

“He was defending his girl, Will. You’d done the same for me.”

“Madonna…” He warning in a stern voice, one that made you feel like a child being admonished by a house mother again. “He is a guardsmen, sworn to protect us, not throw punch-”

You looked up at him again, snapping. “He hit Iris!”

Ben chimed in with a ‘She hurt me first!’ but Will ignored him. “She involved herself in something she had no business to.”

“But Ben!-” You were cut off my Iris whispering your name. Her eyes were fearful… and you realize they held the same glint as when you caught her and Ben together… She mouthed, ‘don’t.’

Your eyes never leave hers. “Well, she’s my friend and he’s my personal guard so she’s under my protection.”

Fracicsco’s arms pull you, careful not to touch your sensitive parts. He’s telling you to go, but you worry for Rey and Iris.

“Will, you can’t hurt them, please?”

“I’m not-”

“But you are!” You pull at Francisco’s hand. “You are, because they hurt Ben but please! Don’t!”

Will sighs, shoulders relaxing down as he decides not to lie. “Madonna, they have to be punished. I promise it won’t be harsh.” His blue eyes look remorseful and honest, like he’s resigned to his duties. You trust he wouldn’t be unnecessarily cruel and you knew punishment was important in corrections… but this was Rey and Iris, your friends… Rey, who had only ever loved and protected you. Iris, despite everything, she took care of you. 

This time when you pull your arm Francisco lets go, and you rush to Will. You reach for his face, cupping it as you stare into his eyes. Will’s expression was soft, indulgent. He was listening. “Look at him, Will.” You gesture to where Reyansh still bloodied Iris’s skirts. “They both got hit, and Rey took enough for both, don’t you think?”

He seemed sympathetic to the pain Rey was in. “That’s the natural consequence of a fight, Madonna. I need to punish them properly, according to our rules.”

Tears fill your eyes and you hear Ben grumble, Francisco shushing him. “My husband, my love…” You beg him in choked words. You try to appeal to his sense of ownership over Rey and the guards. “He’s your guard, and someone hurt him… can’t we just call it even? Please?”

“No, Madonna.”

Rey coughs from the ground below you, trying to sit up. “I can take it, Will. Just don’t hurt Iris.”

With that, Will’s face shifts. This pulls at something and you take it. “He was just trying to protect her! You’d do the same if anyone hit me, Will, please you killed a man for me, you killed Melanie for me, I know you understand…” You take his hand in yours, kissing his knuckles that were still healing for beating Jonah to death. “Please… there's been so much pain here this week… I promise, I promise they learned.”

Ben must've seen Will considering, because he spoke. “Don’t let them get away with it, that bitch put her hands on me!”

His language shocked you, never hearing him talk like that, and Francisco saw the look in your eyes. “Will, c’mon… I think his nose is broken… and Iris just lost her dad… Madonna is under a lot of stress, don’t give her more.”

Finally, Will sighs despite Ben’s protests. He walks over to where Iris and Rey sit and helps them both up. “Go.” He says to Iris. “You can use my medicine closet. Patch him up. I expect him back on duty tonight.”

“Will! What the hell!” Ben shouts but you run up to Will, giving him a short peck on the cheek and whispering thank you.

Will tells Ben to fuck off, and goes to unlock his medicine for Reyansh. Iris turns and gives you a smile. 

“You just like to touch everyone but me, don’t you?” Ben’s words shock you back to reality.

“What? Ben… it’s not…” You reach for Francisco’s hand for security as he admonishes Ben, but he continues.

“You kiss Will, and I see you holding Saha’s hand, and now Frankie? But don’t think I’ve noticed you havn’t fucked me!”

“Benjamin!” Francisco shouts as you shrink at Ben’s words. He’s never spoken to you like this, and you don’t think you’ve ever even seen him angry, certainly not at you. “She’s had a traumatic months for fucks sake! Between Santi and Jonah can you go without pussy for a few fucking days?”

“I don’t know Frank, can you go without Santi’s dick in your ass for more than a few days?”

For the next several minutes, the two argued, exchanging heated words and painful secrets. You’d learned Francisco fucks Santiago every night, and the dark spots on his neck were from the husband who’d burned you alive. You learned Ben was sleeping with half of delta still. You learned there was a whole word that existed between the four of them that not only happened before you, but existed outside of you. You thought you were the nucleus holding them together. Instead, you were just the meal they feasted on.

*

You were finally well enough for him to take you on the horse, a careful walk, out to your meadows again. By now, you were too big to straddle him with his cock inside you and your skin and belly couldn’t bear his body against you. So, as you watched him set up the blanket, you knew you’d miss the feeling of napping in the warm sun with his cock stretching you.

“C’mere, baby.” Francisco helps you sit and then lay down, pulling you close with you using his meaty arm as a pillow.

“I miss you.” You mutter, and he kisses your neck.

His hand holds your stomach, feeling your baby kick. “I’m right here”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“I know.”

There was silence for a moment, letting the birds sing and breeze below through the rustling grass. It was so nice out, and you were thankful for your skimpy dress. You are reminded of all the times you laid here, endless hours making him flower crowns, braiding the little ones into his hair, kissing him, napping… all while he’s stuffed inside you, your skirt spread around your thighs. How many times has Jonah seen you like this? Had he watched from the trees as you fucked in languid strokes, not even trying to cum but just to feel him bucking into you? 

Or when Santiago had tripped you, burning your cothes off, fucking you by the fire… had Jonah stood and watched? Had he taken in the view, his own pornography, before helping you? Or when Francisco finger fucked you on the horse, had he savored your sweet sounds and memorized them for nights alone with his fist? How long had he wanted you? How long had he taken even innocent moments and turned them into something vile? 

You felt Francisco’s hard cock nestled between your ass cheeks, and by instinct you scoot away just a tiny bit.

“Shit, I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry Madonna I’m not trying too- I don’t know why-”

“It’s okay.” No one had been inside you since Jonah’s attempt, you barely let them touch you… but you had to trust Francisco, right? He was good. He was so, so good. “It’s… it’s okay…”

The feeling of him shaking his head russells your hair. “No, no love, it’s not…” He’s pulling back from you and you miss the warmth of his body so you reach back and grab him. 

“I miss you…” You choke out. “I miss feeling you inside me… I miss you… please? I want you so bad, Francisco.”

“Baby…” He caresses you cheek with the back of his hand. “You’ve been through a lot…”

“And I don’t want it to change us. Santiago, Jonah… I won’t let them tear us apart…”

He kisses the back of your head. “They won’t. I won’t ever let that happen. You are more important than them.”

It slips out before you can stop. “Am I more important than Ben?”

“I love you.”

You don’t have it in you to press further, instead you arch your back so that your ass brushes against his cock in his pants. “So much has happened… I need this… I need to know you still love me.”

He sighs, stating firmly. “I do love you…” but he moved to unbuckle his pants. You wished you could see him, you wished you could see the way his belly folded over his jeans. You wished you could run your hands over the skin and feel the hair on his chest. But you weren’t ready for that. Instead you just relaxed into his arms, relaxed into him, his safety, his protection. When he pushes your skirt up, his hands are large over your asscheeks and you enjoy feeling covered by him. When he slides in, your body makes room for the familiar feeling.

“Do you want me to make love to you? Or do you just want me inside?”

“Make love, please…”

A gentle kiss on the cheek. “Anything for you.”

*

Sliding inside you once again, Frankie felt a homecoming. He loved the long hours you and him would spend here, cumming inside you multiple times but keeping you plugged up with his cum. He wished he hadn’t wasted so much time getting inside you properly, loving you the way you wanted to… he would have knocked you up first if he’d been going at this rate… but now, the odds weren’t in his favor.

Frankie revelled in the sound of your mewling, soft and tender like a little kitten… his to protect. As he slowly thrust into you, he vowed he wouldn’t let anyon hurt you again. He needed to talk to Ben, to Will… he needed them to get on board. You clearly cared for Iris and Rey and they cared for you, so he needed to make sure they were protected. Ben had been sneaking out more, going into the community to presumably fuck some other young niave thing… but a rule had been laid about Iris. The fact she was fucking him had been out of her character anyway, but it was over now.

Ben needed to stop sleeping with everyone he could get his hands on, and he needed to respect Madonna’s personal space and boundaries. He was not entitled to her body, especially after all this happened.

Looking up the hill and into the trees, Francisco saw Ben. He stood tall, a scowl on his face; he didn’t like that he got to be inside you.

Francisco sped up his movements, fucking up into you and making you cry out in pleasure. You were unaware of your audience. He never let up eye contact as he rammed his cock into your core and pressed you close to him. His hands felt you up, showing Ben what he was missing. Sitting atop his horse, Francisco watched as Benjamin pulled out his dick and began stroking himself furiously. It was a scramble after that, Frankie wanting you to cum before Ben did, to ruin his little show but still show off what Frankie could do, the sounds you could make. 

“Francisco…” You whine, and he buries his face in your neck after checking your eyes were still closed, lost in pleasure.

“I’m right here, Madonna. Always right here…” His longer fingers swirled your clit, and he knew you were close by the way you were clenching down hard. Perfect, you were perfect. Your body shook in his arms as he filled you, the sweet sounds of your orgasm echoing through the meadow valleys and hills and up to Ben’s ears. Francisco didn’t see if he came; he didn’t care anymore. He needed to take care of his Madonna, for suddenly you were crying.

“I wish it was you.” You sob into his sleeved up arm. He was thankful today didn’t require undressing. He didn’t want to have to explain the cuts. 

“What do you-”

“The baby! I wish it was yours!”

He brushes a stray lock out of your face as he attempts to sooth you. “May it is… we don’t know…”

“It’s not.” You shake your head. “It’s Will or Bens. I just know it. Those first months, you barely touched me, and after I fail the first time Santiago only touched me once a night!” The way you had switched from Pope to Santiago was not lost on him. “It’s one of them!”

“Is that a bad thing? They’ll love that baby too, just like I will.”

“SANTIAGO WILL KILL ME!”

You explained yourself then, what Santi said. How he threatened you. You had one job, according to him, and that was to get pregnant. It wasn’t suppossed to matter if it was by the Millers, by Santi or himself… but of course, of course Santi had to fuck with you more, because it isn’t really about the savior for Santi.

It’s about Frankie.

*

It had been a few days and Rey’s face looked awful. He had definitely broken his nose, bruising showing deeply despite his brown skin. 

“I’m fine, swear to the gods.” He promises after catching you staring at his face. 

“Your eye is almost swollen shut.”

“Like I said, totally fine.” he jokes and you give him a little kick from where you sat on the counter. Iris was feeling sick so Rey and you were taking over cooking dinner. The pineapple upside down cake was in the oven, and Rey was working on the main dish right now. 

He watched you watching him, hesitating before he spoke, his tone more sololm than you were used to. “If you could leave… would you?” He watches your eyes go wide, so he rushed to explain more. “You’re pregnant with the savior, there's nothing that says he needs to be raised here! You told me yourself, Beatriz was evil, Santi… sweetie c’mon he threatened you if the baby is blonde! What if he kills the savior when they are born?”

“Rey!” You whisper harshly. “You’re talking heresy!” Your eyes are wide.

He chuckles tiredly. “We crossed that line a while ago… Listen… I know you love that baby, I know you want them to grow up safe and happy but that can’t be here. You’re husbands, they are batship insane and you know it.”

“No.” You shake your head, refusing to accept it. “No, it’s just… Santi, I think he needs help… I can help him, I can make him a better-”

Reyansh grips your shoulders now, an intensity you weren’t expecting. “No! You can’t! It's not just you, you have to realize that. He didn’t hurt you because you did anything wrong. You take off Frankie’s shirt right now and you’ll see a fucking masscure because he’s fucking losing it! He’s dangerous! And Ben, he-”

 Reyansh stops, voice cracking and you notice the wetness of his eyes. The pain is etched into every line on his young face. “He rapes my wife. My beautiful, precious wife- he… and I didn’t know, this whole time I had no idea what he’s been doing to her…” You can see he’s crying now, and you’re frozen in fear, reaching for his wet face. “I just let it happen this whole time but now I know the truth, and it’s not happening again and I can’t bear to see you get hurt again. I’m gonna get her out, and I want you to come. I don’t want to leave you here but… I have to protect my family. I want that family to mean you too, anuja.”

There was so much to process here, your mind was whirling from everything you were told, but the idea of Iris and Ben… Did you walk in on her being raped by your husband? Had Ben truly tried to get you in on it, to kiss and touch her while she was raped? To make you an accomplice in his crimes? You think of how she looked at you… fuck, how could you not see it? How did you think she was willingly a part of it when it was clear she loved Reyansh? And you treated her so horrible after…

“I’m gonna be sick.” 

Your head spins, and Rey wraps his arms around to set your feet on the floor again. The hand that gently touched his wet, bearded cheek now was on his shoulder to steady yourself as he slid you down from the counter. His arms firm but chaste around you as he pressed against the marble.

“Hey take a deep breath-” His face was ripped away from you, eyes wide as Rey was pulled back by his hair. Then, before you can react, his already bruised head is slammed into the corner of the countertop.

He begins screaming and you do too. 

You can see Santiago in the doorway, but he makes no attempt to stop the events unfolding in front of you, does nothing as Ben grabs the kitchen knife and throws it directly into Reyansh’s chest where he lay in agony. The scene has begun to garner a crowd, Frankie running in at the sounds of your screams but freezes in shock as blood files the kitchen once again.

“BEN! STOP!!!” You scream, but Ben’s eyes are crazed and he’s screaming at Rey not to touch you.

You aren’t sure the exact moment his eyes go dead and body falls limp, no longer reacting to the mass of stabs Ben continues to inflict, but you know it’s already too late when Iris bursts in, screaming her lover’s name. When she runs to where Ben is slowing down, straddling over your best friend’s dead body, Francisco reacts quickly, scooping her up and grabbing Iris’s arms behind her back. 

“REY! REY! REY!” Iris screams non stop, fighting to get out of Francisco’s grasp as he tells her it’s too dangerous. 

Finally, Ben falls over, panting in exhaustion. He throws up on the floor and you realize he’s drunk. The smells of vomit mixes with copper in the the room as the fluids run together. You are barely standing, knees weak, palms sweaty, unable to process what you’ve seen as Ben stands up and stumbles towards you. Will is in the room now, taking it all in, muttering ‘jesus christ Benny… what did you do…’

But walks towards you, a bright smile of white teeth a strange flash of color among the red covering his face. Red. He’s covered in Reyansh’s blood.

“Hey baby, wanna give me a kiss?”

Ben is pulled away from you.

“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!” Francisco screams to him and you slide to the ground.

“He was touching her!” Ben tries to defend, but francisco is infuriated. He shoved Ben away, moving him to the door. On the ground, Iris is desperately trying to get Rey to come alive. The shakes, the touches to his face, the wretched sobs and ugly cries do nothing as he lays limp in her arms.

“FUCK YOU BENNY! HE WAS HER FRIEND! HE WAS MINE!” Francisco shoves him hard, making Ben stumble into Santiago.

Will steps up, gathering his fist in Francisco’s shirt. “Hey! Keep your fucking hands off him!” In which Santiago steps in and says something similar to Will. They begin to argue and fight and scream at each other; you are left on the floor, inconsequential. When you have the courage to look at Rey’s mangled corpse again, you gather the courage to crawl to him. Up close, the carnage in unbelievable.

There are massive gashes in him, holes in his body you can’t believe he had the strength and rage to go that hard into so many times. A stabwound in his eye.  A hole in his cheek.

“Rey…” You sob, reaching out for your bloodied friend. The door shuts behind you and you aren’t sure whose left. “Im so sorry, I’m so, so-”

Iris shoves you backwards, forcing you to fall softly on your butt. “GET AWAY FROM HIM!” She screams at you, and you sit in shock. She’s never spoken to you like this.

“Iris-”

“I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU THAT YOU WERE DANGEROUS TERRITORY!”

Francisco’s arms are around you, a feeling you’d recognize instantly. “I D-didn’t- I did mean-”

“You NEVER DO!” Her eyes are vicious, a fury that far surpassed anything you’ve ever seen in your life. “You are so goddamn stupid, walzing around here like you live in  FUCKING FARIE TALE and leave a trail of dead bodies behind you! You dad, Jonah, and now YOU HAD TO GET MY REY KILLED!”

You are speechless. She’s right. Everything is your fault. Jonah said your dad just wanted a better life for you… was that drive the reason the uprising started? Was the death of him, Deacon Tom, Delilah and all the rebels your fault? She had said she didn’t blame you for Jonah… but now her voice joins the chores of everyone else in your life… it was all your fault.

Francisco picks you up.

I'm so sorry

Months and months ago while constructing this story, I had a friend i was working on it a lot with. She had a big hand in creating Iris and Rey. The entire time, before it was entirely planned out even, I knew he was going to die. I knew there was no happy ending to be had for Iris and Reyansh. And that made some scenes very hard too write. Rey didn't deserve any of it. He was a good man who loved his "wife." (not legally married bc cult stuff but in all the ways that matter, they were.)

There is no going back from this now. Madonna is shown who Ben and Santi are.

The last poll i fucked up! It was suppossed to be who does BEN love most lol

Save the children (which has absolutely nothing to do with QAnon who hijacked their hashtag) our currently supporting relief efforts in the Congo above our listed some quick facts that I hope you’ll take a moment to read, and if you can afford it, please consider making a donation. I have made a small one, but if we band together small donations make a difference

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LOVE YOU ALL!

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[zeephyre]

CR3: EPISODE 63 SPOILERS

I'm literally losing my mind rn guys

i haven't even finished the episode yet as im typing this, currently ashton is holding laudna as she cries on their shoulder after she sucked the life out of bor'dor.

i always had the suspicion that bor'dor wasn't telling the truth or telling a version of the truth, but i never really talked about it cause everyone was throwing out theories. i had an...inkling that he was connected to ludinus or just ruidus in general, and i was right in a way.

him being ruby vanguard is devastating but not surprising. it connected so many things that i chose to brush off cause i didn't want to seem paranoid. a specific moment being bor'dor killing the angel of the dawn father. during that scene, the way matt described the look in that angel's eyes as it died did not match the way that bor'dor retold it and i thought i had just...forgotten how the actual scene played out. now that i know, even tho i haven't rewatched that episode, i have a feeling that the hatred and righteous judgement i remembered was the accurate version.

i don't think bor'dor is bad, simply because i have no way to come to that conclusion when i know how easy it is to let fear and pain and anger drive you to vengeance -- the hellians are feeling it too, and i feel deep compassion for them so i feel for bor'dor too.

for all of ludinus' preachy bullshit he never gave me the impression that he gave a single fuck about the people who followed him or about the lives he ruined to accomplish his goal. i don't think bor'dor was some big wig, i think he was just a kid who was vulnerable and powerful and easily coerced. i do not think he is without blame -- his actions with the ruby vanguard have led to incomprehensible repercussions for everyone on exandria and outside of exandria too. (bear in mind, we don't even know how the apple bee's soul cycle has affected the fey realm -- or any other realms for that matter).

i think that there was no way bor'dor could have survived this night with the way it went. i don't think there could have been a moment where he snuck away. if he got a lucky roll, maybe. i don't think bor'dor died because /he/ was an unforgivable monster.

he died because laudna, ashton and orym were at their breaking point and none of them wanted to pull each other from that place of hatred and anger. they've spoken about feeling powerless -- terrified and angry at the situation they were forced into when they truly have nothing to do with ludinus' anger at the gods. orym, especially, has been struggling with his grief and his stubbornness, and this moment will have effects on all of them for these upcoming battles and hardships.

laudna. jesus christ. im so upset that delilah is back. or at least pieces of her are thriving inside laudna, seemingly every time she uses her necrotic magic. for a single moment, she felt delilah's complete control over herself and other people in a situation where laudna had no idea what to do and how to get shit done, and as soon as delilah had nothing left of bor'dor to scavenge off of, laudna was back to feeling weak.

i can't even process the lore drops of ashton's heritage and his father and the history of the hishari and the fact that abadina WAS an hishari ???? they need to go that cursed town soon or im gonna lose it. hell, maybe they're already headed there.

deni$e might say she didn't care whether bor'dor lived or died but i know that isn't true because she was a) the only person who didn't actually hurt him and b) she was trying the entire time to get the others to at least interrogate him. i don't think that would work for multiple reasons. bor'dor was yeeted to kingdom come so bor'dor would likely not have anything useful for them atp, and also bor'dor is absolutely not nearly as important to ludinus as they need him to be.

im gonna miss utkarsh 😭

i think that maybe if bells hells was together, he'd live. but ashton, laudna and orym are too... there's something dangerous about these three being separated from their people. dangerous for themselves mentally and for anyone who stands in their way. i NEED bells hells to be reunited again.

it's sad that the characters with such a strong history of loss and betrayal and abandonment and grief and loss of control would have the traitor amongst them. there is nothing that bor'dor could say that would lessen the pain orym feels having lost his husband and his father, of him and his friends being killed by a cruel, vicious comrade of ludinus', of the tempest being trapped /because/ orym was the one who led her straight into it. the gods are all good and well, but i don't think it will EVER be about the gods for orym. i won't say he's correct or in the right for his narrowed vision and hardened heart. he took that locket for a reason, and throwing it aside is a calculated disposal of that inherently inconvenient empathy orym has for people around him. he can't afford to feel. not now.

[hiswordsarekisses]

To those who are the called, beloved, and kept for Jesus Christ (Jude 1)

“Everyone the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will never drive away. For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but to do the will of Him who sent Me. And this is the will of Him who sent Me, that I shall lose none of those He has given Me, but raise them up at the last day. For it is My Father’s will that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in Him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day.””John‬ ‭6‬:‭37‬-‭40‬

“being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians‬ ‭1‬:‭6‬ ‭

“I ask on their behalf. I do not ask on behalf of the world, but on behalf of those You have given Me; for they are Yours. All I have is Yours, and all You have is Mine; and in them I have been glorified. I will no longer be in the world, but they are in the world, and I am coming to You. Holy Father, protect them by Your name, the name You gave Me, so that they may be one as We are one. While I was with them, I protected and preserved them by Your name, the name You gave Me. Not one of them has been lost, except the son of destruction, so that the Scripture would be fulfilled. But now I am coming to You; and I am saying these things while I am in the world, so that they may have My joy fulfilled within them. I have given them Your word and the world has hated them; for they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I am not asking that You take them out of the world, but that You keep them from the evil one. Sanctify them by the truth; Your word is truth. As You sent Me into the world, I have also sent them into the world. For them I sanctify Myself, so that they too may be sanctified by the truth. I am not asking on behalf of them alone, but also on behalf of those who will believe in Me through their message, that all of them may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I am in You. May they also be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me.” John‬ ‭17‬:‭9‬-‭15‬, ‭17‬-‭21‬

I the Lord made the heavens and stretched them out, who spread out the earth and its offspring, who gives breath to the people on it and life to those who walk in it: “I, the Lord, have called you for a righteous purpose, and I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you and appoint you to be a covenant for the people and a light to the nations, to open the eyes of the blind, to bring prisoners out of the dungeon and those sitting in darkness out from the prison house.” Isaiah‬ ‭42‬:‭5‬-‭7‬

“I brought you from the ends of the earth and called you from its farthest corners. I said, ‘You are My servant.’ I have chosen and not rejected you. Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will surely help you; I will uphold you with My right hand of righteousness. Behold, all who rage against you will be ashamed and disgraced; those who contend with you will be reduced to nothing and will perish. You will seek them but will not find them. Those who wage war against you will come to nothing. For I am the Lord your God, who takes hold of your right hand and tells you: Do not fear, I will help you.” Isaiah‬ ‭41‬:‭9‬-‭13‬

[jerickreforba25]

Assurance of Salvation

Pio Samonte

This teaching explores the certainty and benefits of being saved through faith in Christ, emphasizing security, forgiveness, and living out one’s faith.

I. Salvation is from God Alone.

• Jonah 2:9: “But I, with shouts of grateful praise, will sacrifice to you. What I have vowed I will make good. I will say, ‘Salvation comes from the LORD.’”

II. What Our Salvation Means:

A. We are saved through faith in Christ.

• Romans 10:13: “For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

B. We are saved from sin.

• Romans 6:22: “But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life.”

C. We are saved from death (physical, spiritual, and eternal death).

• 2 Timothy 2:10: “Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory.”

D. We will spend eternal life with God in heaven.

• 1 John 5:11-13: “And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life. I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.”

III. Benefits and Assurance of Our Salvation:

A. We are SECURED in Christ.

• John 10:28-30: “I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.”

B. We are assured of Christ’s PRESERVATION.

• John 6:37-40: “All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all those he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.”

1. Assured of Christ’s protection and strength.

• 2 Thessalonians 3:3: “But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.”

2. Assured of Christ’s love.

• Romans 8:35, 38-39: “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ... For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

C. We are assured of God’s FORGIVENESS.

1. Assured of God’s forgiveness of all our sins.

• Colossians 2:13: “When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins.”

2. Assured of God’s forgiveness when we commit sin.

• 1 John 2:1-2: “My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.”

D. We are assured of our SONSHIP.

• John 1:12: “Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.”

• Galatians 3:26: “So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith.”

1. The Holy Spirit confirms it to us.

• Romans 8:14-16: “For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father.’ The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.”

2. The Holy Spirit himself is our assurance.

• Ephesians 1:13-14: “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory.”

E. We are RECONCILED to God and with one another.

• 2 Corinthians 5:18: “All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.”

IV. LIVING OUT Our Salvation:

A. Our salvation produces good works.

• Ephesians 2:8-10: “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

B. Our salvation results in an obedient life.

• 2 Corinthians 9:13: “Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, others will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else.”

C. Our salvation results in Holy Living.

• 1 John 3:5-6: “But you know that he appeared so that he might take away our sins. And in him is no sin. No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him.”

[kenmansposts]

Wherever Jesus Christ gos miracle's follow. I've been blessed from the time I was a tweekling in my mother's eye before she knew my brothers or my dad. My mother and her two sisters were visited by an Angel. In the library's in Anderson Egypt there is a record of when Jesus Christ walk this earth. on the path there was a lame man Jesus told the demons to come forth they wanted to know what he was doing here? It was not his time yet. So he ask where they would like to go. they replied the swine.

He didn't cast them to hell because it was not the time of the lord yet. Can't lose what you don't have. Can't keep what's not your's Can't hold on to something that doesn't want to stay. Sounds like my intellectual property. And physical properties and menial rights that the associates at Set free ministry's transitional housing. And victory outreach transitional housing the Bonnie house and MFI recovery homes. Imagination? And folk's say the chip is on my shoulder. Lol more like up my nose with a rubber hose, in my ear. Oh dear. In my eye? What a guy. I wonder if I have a handle too. I was at an arrow smith show at the Form in the late 70s as I was leaving the concert I saw some people from Calvary chapel in Orange County Greg Lorry and Tom Floris in a stake bed truck that I had loaded up before at church. Telling us who were enjoying life that we were all going to hell for listening to the devil's music. The next thing I remember is being in the middle of Inglewood Blvd asking myself did I come here with them? How did I get in the middle of the street. I'm still not sure, (I bet Greg Lorry and Tom Floris know.) When Larry Gathers pulled up and ask if I was lost. Did I need a ride. Lynn was in the back seat, he gave me a ride to Willowbrook and Rosecrans. I walked to Gilbert's house from there. Where I started off before the concert.

In this homosexual perverse adultress addicted generation. Why would anyone be upset about a third person. It's been that way in every relationship I've ever had. Some people might call it satanic attack. Looking back at how I got wright here wright now I've discovered that it has been that way from the moment I was born . My father told me that I could stand up at less than 6mo. Old in my crib

Told me how the walls at the ceiling were like a door at the henge and my crib moving back and forth from wall to wall.

I had know idea what he was telling me at the time he told me. But after looking for earthquakes in that time frame none to be found he told me that so I would eventually understand that I was under satanic attack from the day I was born.

Let me tell you when you are experiencing satanic attack from the day you were born I would not know life to be any different. Not intell I was 58 years old after being edified did I understand that is what was happening to me Uncle Jess Fullerton promised Ralph A Bowman'. Sr that he would return the property and mineral rights to Ralph A Bowman Jr's #3 We are the remnants of the ten thousand year reign of evil. The time of the Lord Pronounced.

I am and he is and was and is to come. Holy, Holy, Holy. Is the lamb of God. There is no name higher no name more supernatural in heaven or on earth than the name Jesus. For he is the Alpha and the Omega he is the first and he is the last. The time of evil reign is over. It is no longer your time. Know that you have been called into power to cast out demons. What are you still doing here it is not your time anymore. It is the time of the Lord. Satin is locked in hell he can no longer desive the Nations 7 stars have come and gone. The 7 lamp stands no longer have a flame and the 7 Angels no longer carry your hearts desire to God. For those who impede the path of the son of man and still his gifts. Will have the plagues of Egypt to deal with.

[the-liminal-place]

JUST PASSIN' THROUGH

.

You hold your own.

Can quick-draw

your baby brother's screams 

in what some might call waking dreams stuffed

like choux pastry with those nasty little pigtails

you tie too tight with rubber bands  (the ones the postman didn't care enough about),

pulling

that fine, fine hair

covered in snot

into stupid gathered fluffy tufts and you laugh

and you laugh

at the way it sprouts it's silly way out from that massive swede

they all call his head.

It's short-lived mirth then drowning in the wet, wet earth of muddy puddles mixed with verses of yet more piss-yellow whines

–Jesus fucking Christ, you're bored–

and, a happy accident, 

it happens again.

Mum comes in, steamroller cola fizz-pop bang!

Trouble.

A piglet in muck, right in it, you are.

How it breeds around you, they say.

They're the fucking pigs.

It’s more like bleeding out, you reckon, 

gushing out from taps that are your twice-scuffed knees and broken knuckles and too-round stupid, stupid face.

You can even feel it's warmth oozing out your eyes sometimes, your bruised-mauve and claret dripping peepers, 

when you know that they're only really watering,

leaking in the east wind, 

the freezing cold gusts your big bastard brother makes whenever he passes 

you by and literally spits

in your one good eye—oh, no, they're both 20/20. But shit, that's your better side.

Cunt.

.

So you're off

blazing the trail to Mexico (into the centre of a faux fur shanty town in which you're supposed to grow in, 

like a plant, 

only the only

water 'round here is the ocean, The Great Dirty Grey, and you're not as prickly as a cactus, not yet, even though you've been practicing. A lot.

And anyway the sun's all wrong).

Fleeing now, you "borrow" your mother's mother's

tiny creamy pearls and string them 'round your stringy neck, a hangman's noose and

not quite right, no, never.

But they’re in lieu of. Something. An honour? A badge. Like, what? Like the one Pat Garrett got? Yeah. Not really real.

Just for show.

The Greatest Show on Earth.

And you've already stolen your father's outdoor smile and that hateful roll of his hazel eyes. Your own eyes, they're blue. Like absolutely nobody else in your family. 

You plaster on a sneer, a roughcast pebble-dash you got while reading adult library books way past somebody's bedtime,

when the freight trains pass by slowly. 

What a joke. 

You don't have words but you guess you'll just impress upon them the hard, hard life you lead, with all of… this. You can pretend you're an apostle, who's to know otherwise?

None of them.

None of them.

Slamming the door with all these old and new-to-you weapons, nestled low in their makeshift holsters—

and okay, it's not exactly an arsenal but shit, you're only fourteen.

It's not like the war is ending anytime soon. 

No fuckin way.

.

Once clear (road parallel to the main street, you're not an idiot), 

you use giant Cook's kitchen matches 

to sulpher light the smokes; duty-free ciggies with bright orange filters that the neighbour gave to you just because you took the time to talk to the old dear.

No one else can seem to stand her, honestly. Her own husband only comes by on Wednesdays and Sundays. Never even sees her own kids. We'll, that's what she says.

Whether anybody likes you or not you're on your own sweet way. Kicking

up metal horse dust on your lonesome path to Don Pepe's Saloon

(It's a tacky shot bar. You won't go in, you'll hang around outside and smoke these stinkers as if you're waiting for someone. Flash these new tits you absolutely fucking hate. But so fucking what).

Shiny sneaker spurs 

now drag

through the wet sand salt-dirt that settles

on everything, crystalline on

your shrink-wrap skin

your nana's charms

your daddy's grin

your wild, wild desperation

your. Something.

(You're wrong.)

And you lose, again, with your home stuck to your soul like your least favourite flavour of bubble gum.

Fuck.

Off. 

. 

There's yet another stray barking in one of forty-three-thousand labyrinthine alleyways and when you stop to stroke it and it gnashes at your hand, you actually find yourself jealous of it.

Ha. That's sad.

And. It's not as if if you're not trying. 

You do try. 

You really fucking try, 

it's just. 

All so fucking WANK.

Tripe.

Tripe butties dipped in dog shit gravy. 

Man , you don't even know what it is that's so fucking awful. 

What the fuck is that about?

You sometimes find yourself wishing God were real. 

Wowee.

That’s how fucking bad it is.

.

Sighing now, a song, long and loud with a drawn-out chorus, just like the real people never do, you start to take only half-lungfuls of the Good Sea-Air.

You're saving up

for your real life.

For what's to come. 

You walk on.

Right past the harrowing saloon.

Fuck it. Fuck that.

Because it's not as if you're here to stay

anyway.

No real friends to make like hay bails used to climb to the top shelf in the big barn to hide away from your pious Pa and his rusty pitchfork. 

Your name's not Backwater Sal. Or Tommy "Tuck" Tucker.

You, you're just passin' through.

A drifter.

Cowboy in a town with no damn prairies. Hell (well, almost). 

And, again, you find yourself back

at the Big Drink you always say you hate.

What a fucking joke.

You twirl your one key on twelve keyrings, 

shit slinger. 

“It's almost High-noon” 

you chant like crazy under your partial breath on your way out

to your way out,

the coming tide, 

to the arse-end of Nofuckingwhere.

You fuckin wish.

.

[the-hem]

"The Handle." Jesus and the Bread of Life.

If John 3:16 is the way into the House of God then John 6: 31-51 or Two Decades of Verses are:

A. "The Deck, and a foray into the Light."

B. The Outlaws. Truth is not the same as kindness.

This more or less explains the passages without Gematria but in order to understand Christ's Personal Message, we must resort to it. In essence, He says what gives life to this world, including the human race, we are after all a part of it, is this ability to discern, to be intelligent and gifted at it so we do not suffer as other forms of natural life suffer. Suffering is not meant for us. We are poorly suited to it and therefore should not be at the heart of its cause.

This explains everything we want to know about Christ. Moses gave us the urge to be free, to recognize slavery to an ignorant man is in the way of freedom from suffering, Christ said this freedom must include widespread goodness given generously to all living things.

The Torah is rife with ways to offend and keep good relationships with one's neighbors it is the sum of its substance. Only Christ elucidated upon and illustrated how none can be left behind by the Law and the laws without mercy.

This was His solemn promise, that there would someday come a day when man would recognize his capacity and determination to show compassion to those who have no hope nor any prayers left. To respond with all of one's might He says, gaurantees one a free ride to Heaven. Notice He says "our ancestors". Recall with earnestness that Jesus was a Jew:

31 Our ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness; as it is written: ‘He gave them bread from heaven to eat.’[a]”

32 Jesus said to them, “Very truly I tell you, it is not Moses who has given you the bread from heaven, but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. 33 For the bread of God is the bread that comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.”

34 “Sir,” they said, “always give us this bread.”

35 Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. 

36 But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe. 37 All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. 38 For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. 

39 And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all those he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. 40 For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.”

41 At this the Jews there began to grumble about him because he said, “I am the bread that came down from heaven.” 42 They said, “Is this not Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? How can he now say, ‘I came down from heaven’?”

43 “Stop grumbling among yourselves,” Jesus answered. 44 “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day. 

45 It is written in the Prophets: ‘They will all be taught by God.’[b] Everyone who has heard the Father and learned from him comes to me. 46 No one has seen the Father except the one who is from God; only he has seen the Father.

 47 Very truly I tell you, the one who believes has eternal life. 48 I am the bread of life. 49 Your ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness, yet they died. 

50 But here is the bread that comes down from heaven, which anyone may eat and not die. 

51 I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats this bread will live forever. This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.”

The Values in Gematria are:

v. 31: As it is written: ‘He gave them bread from heaven to eat.”

The Number is 3676, גו‎זו, gozo, "the strain, the species, the race, the trunk." Human nature is not pretty. It is a surprise we made it to this point. Thank God no one alive remembers what it was like before man became intelligent. There is only a little hope now, but before we became smart, there was absolutely none. Come what may and one could die.

v. 32-33: But my Father gives you the true bread from heaven. The Number is 14268, ידבוח‎ ‎yadboh, "The hand of God draw it forth."

Without this belief we have, that there is a God in heaven and He is capable of amazing things, we would not be who we are. It is not enough that we figured a few things out, like how to cover our privates with rags made form animal pelts, it was something else that gave us everything we are now taking for granted.

v. 34-35: Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. No one becomes an ethical being by accident. All saints are self-made, they are not begotten. There is no magic in going to the Cross and saying the weird magic words, one must become a saint through self-application.

The Number is 15087, י״האֶפֶסחז‎, "The Passover, look for it."

The Passover is the most important sacrament in human history. It is a claim made by man that under no circumstances shall he or his fellows die in slavery or due to oppression. We cannot observe any other sacrament without first looking to the Passover.

Jesus was a Jew, He thoroughly understood this.

v. 36-38: But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe. 37 All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. 38 For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. 

Once we start to adhere to the Passover, there is no going back. One does not agree to the terms of the Haggadah and then make a Report and decide to be a slaver or to continue to allow oppression anyway.

Jesus always spoke as if He were the God of Israel Himself but also as a separate Self, claiming it was His Miss to always choose the Higher Self as the one He followed.

The Number is 16724, י״וזבד‎ ‎, yazved, "the Civet. The bounty of the bestowal."

A civet has a gland in its butthole that secrets an ingredient used in expensive perfumes. Without someone to squeeze man's inner butthole, the competitiveness in his heart, the perfume will not come out.

v. 39-40: And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all those he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. 

Moses lost quite a few during the Exodus because they would not listen to him. They were not well fed or well watered, not to their satisfaction and were nomads without a place to lay their heads. God knew if He did not acknowledge this problem- homelessness- He would never be credible. So God tells us all homelessness is not acceptable.

The Number is 11484, יאד‎‎חד‎, yahdad, "I will push." from yadad=

"You must do all that is in your power."

As for the homelessness lasting up until the Last Day, how long did it last? Why not sooner?

v. 41-42. At this the Jews there began to grumble about him.

"They began to grumble", or gadad, "...they gathered in order to carve a channel." This means they accepted His Argument and wanted more details in order to complete the New Law and change in society.

"The verb גדד (gadad) describes making an invasive cut, mostly in order to expose something valuable. Noun גדוד (gedud) may describe an invasive band of raiders, or more general: a cutting, a furrow. Noun גדודה (geduda) means a furrow or cutting.

Noun גד (gad) appears to describe the exposed treasure and may be used to describe a physical fortune, plain luck or a state of felicity.

Verb גדה (gada) also means to cut. Noun גדה (gadda) refers to a river bank. Noun גדי (gedi) describes a young animal, but mostly one that was either just slaughtered or soon will be."

Rome was not an ideal time to launch a discussion about human equity. The Gospel Evangelists knew they were fleas in a pantheistic snowstorm, but by the time the Gospel of John was written, the text says people started creating a new tributary for the Words of Moses to travel downward and outward into the Empire.

The Number is 12784, יבז‎‎‎ח‎ד,yevzhad, "otherwise things will always be the same."

v. 43-44: “Stop grumbling among yourselves,” Jesus answered. 44 “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day. "

This refers to the concept of the Paschal Lamb, the last sacrifice. The Last Day one man will deign to harm another is also the First Day of the Mashiach.

Still we cannot agree internally this is the right thing to and no one agrees with it externally. All we will ever do is agree to disagree if murder and violence are appropriate or not. So unless we are drawn to a peaceful, violence-free way of life no such thing is going to happen.

The Number is 10700, אאֶפֶסן‎, apsen, "the eye of the thorn" AKA Ha Shem. NOW the Eye of Shiva destroys all ignorance and delusion, leaving nothing but the Grace of God. The Eye of Ha Shem was found on Sinai. "Look for ways to please God in one's immediate vicinity."

The pupil in the eye is tiny, and even with one functioning pupil man can apprehend God's glory, also man's depravity. Who draws the Glory of God in through Eye of the Thorn shall be raised up.

v. 45-46: It is written in the Prophets: ‘They will all be taught by God.’ Everyone who has heard the Father and learned from him comes to me. Everyone who learns the Torah knows upon completion it was indeed sent by God. If this feeling does not astound one, then one has not properly studied the Torah.

The Number is 10729, יז‎בט, yazbet, "it will sprout."

The moment one tells even a small child about the origin of the creation, they enter a state of wonder. This is the emotion one should retain when learning about plan the Angels laid out for us in the Words of Moses.

v. 47-49: Very truly I tell you, the one who believes has eternal life. 48 I am the bread of life. 49 Your ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness, yet they died. 

No one experiences eternal life in this frame, they experience mortal life and must accept its limits. So why does Jesus promise life without limits? Especially since life on earth is so very scary and death before one has a chance to be happy is an even scarier prospect, why did Jesus tease us with this?

We know for sure life was much shorter before we learned how to shelter ourselves from the elements and disease. If we could figure out how to do it from each other, life would be perfect. Because we can't, we have the Gospels.

The Number is 9487, tadahz, "You will perceive the sweating and know how to reach for the handle."

Going to heaven is absolutely terrifying. The angels that take you are very pretty and very friendly, but before they take you, they show you all the people that were dear to you, who loved you more than you could guess. Then they reach for you and you have to go with them.

While I do not propose this is a definitive guide to Emulation, I do recommend worrying about one's Honey Bunches of Ohs like one's hair is on fire vs. contemplating heaven. Without a fixed passionate love for humanity, without the knowledge of how to be its proper vessel, heaven is almost certainly off limits.

v. 50-51: But here is the bread that comes down from heaven, which anyone may eat and not die. This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.”

We construct bread from the seed of the grain, then we grow and process it and eat it. We need this to live. But to be happy we need much more than bread.

The Number is 14141, ידידא‎ "the Handle is hand in hand with one's pal one's beloved friends."

Everyone has to have a friend or a special honey on earth like the One we have in heaven. In many parts of the world this is either ludicrous or not possible. If we are to achieve salvation in the next world, this one must eat of the Bread of the Flesh, i.e., mankind must be a better soul companion to himself.

The Host of Heaven is not going to rub one out on those who took the lives of others for granted, however. These, they shall send into the Fire.

[spiritsoulandbody]

#DailyDevotion Don't Have A Wicked Unbelieving Heart

#DailyDevotion Don't Have A Wicked Unbelieving Heart Heb. 3 12See to it, fellow Christians, that none of you has a wicked, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. 13Yes, encourage one another every day, as long as you can say today, to keep sin from deceiving anyone of you with its pleasure and hardening your heart to the truth. 14We share in Christ if we only keep our first confidence unshaken to the end. It's a bit of a jarring admonition here. To be brothers here is to be Christian. Yet, some who were once brothers are no more. Instead of keeping their faith and heart pure, they developed a wicked and unbelieving heart that turned from the living God. So we are to see to it, to take care, to watch out for ourselves. Our hearts can be fickle. Our sinful flesh, the world and the devil are always there trying to tempt us into sin. Though the greater temptation is to reject Jesus outright because of persecution. The other more sinister and sneaky thing is the cares of this world may seek priority in our lives. Jesus tells us in His Sermon on the Mount not to worry about having the things of the world but to seek the Kingdom of God first, and these things will be added to us. We are called to gather together, yes worship together (a warning later brought up again in chapter 10). When we gather together we are to encourage one another as long as we can say today. Today is all we ever have. Twelve step groups talk about taking it one day at a time. They gather regularly to encourage one another. They got this from Christianity. If unbelieving (and not all are unbelieving in the Living God) can gather regularly to encourage one another, how much more should the children of God do so. In this gathering together we should confess our sins. Keeping sins a secret from one another gives power to our sin to take over us and to deceive us into thinking what we are doing is ok. When we confess our sins we can hear the words of forgiveness of Jesus from our fellow Christians. Hearing this Gospel gives us power over our sins, keeps them from overcoming us and keeps them from deceiving us, lest we slip away. Let's face it, many sins are fun. The give us pleasure. As we note in Gen. 3, "6When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good to eat, a delight to look at, and what anyone would want in order to get wise, she took some of its fruit and ate it. Then she also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it." Now some in the faith have departed it because they did not want to lose their loved ones. It could be a child, a neice or nephew, a parent, but they come out with a sinful behavior and instead of condemning the behavior we turn from God's Word and give approval to it "in the name of love." A love that is not from God, who is Love. It is a love that loves the creature more than the Creator. You don't have to hate the person and treat them horribly to love God. You should call them to repentance. That is true love that has its origin in God. But many harden their hearts to the truth to love humans more than God. Verse 14 is a call for perseverance. What does it mean to share in Christ? It is to be joined to Him in who He is, what He is according to His human nature, and what He possesses. Mostly it is to share in His life, His love, His grace, His mercy, His kindness and His forgiveness. It is to share in His name. (Ex. 34:6) Heavenly Father, continually give us Your Holy Spirit and the fellowship of all the saints so we may not be deceived by the pleasure and desires of sin but to remain faithful to Christ Jesus our LORD and confess with Him and You what You have spoken to us. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Read the full article

[holyfaithbiblechurch]

Jesus Christ is the Bread of Life

The Bread of Life

22 The next day, the crowd that had stayed on the other side of the sea knew there had been only one boat.[e] They also knew that Jesus had not boarded the boat with His disciples, but that His disciples had gone off alone. 23 Some boats from Tiberias came near the place where they ate the bread after the Lord gave thanks. 24 When the crowd saw that neither Jesus nor His disciples were there, they got into the boats and went to Capernaum looking for Jesus.

25 When they found Him on the other side of the sea, they said to Him, “Rabbi, when did You get here?”

26 Jesus answered, “I assure you: You are looking for Me, not because you saw[f] the signs, but because you ate the loaves and were filled. 27 Don’t work for the food that perishes but for the food that lasts for eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you, because God the Father has set His seal of approval on Him.”

28 “What can we do to perform the works of God?” they asked.

29 Jesus replied, “This is the work of God—that you believe in the One He has sent.”

30 “What sign then are You going to do so we may see and believe You?” they asked. “What are You going to perform? 31 Our fathers ate the manna in the wilderness, just as it is written: He gave them bread from heaven to eat.”[g][h]

32 Jesus said to them, “I assure you: Moses didn’t give you the bread from heaven, but My Father gives you the real bread from heaven. 33 For the bread of God is the One who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.”

34 Then they said, “Sir, give us this bread always!”

35 “I am the bread of life,” Jesus told them. “No one who comes to Me will ever be hungry, and no one who believes in Me will ever be thirsty again. 36 But as I told you, you’ve seen Me,[i] and yet you do not believe. 37 Everyone the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will never cast out. 38 For I have come down from heaven, not to do My will, but the will of Him who sent Me. 39 This is the will of Him who sent Me: that I should lose none of those He has given Me but should raise them up on the last day. 40 For this is the will of My Father: that everyone who sees the Son and believes in Him may have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.”

41 Therefore the Jews started complaining about Him because He said, “I am the bread that came down from heaven.” 42 They were saying, “Isn’t this Jesus the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? How can He now say, ‘I have come down from heaven’?”

43 Jesus answered them, “Stop complaining among yourselves. 44 No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws[j] him, and I will raise him up on the last day. 45 It is written in the Prophets: And they will all be taught by God.[k] Everyone who has listened to and learned from the Father comes to Me— 46 not that anyone has seen the Father except the One who is from God. He has seen the Father.

47 “I assure you: Anyone who believes[l] has eternal life. 48 I am the bread of life. 49 Your fathers ate the manna in the wilderness, and they died. 50 This is the bread that comes down from heaven so that anyone may eat of it and not die. 51 I am the living bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread he will live forever. The bread that I will give for the life of the world is My flesh.”

52 At that, the Jews argued among themselves, “How can this man give us His flesh to eat?”

53 So Jesus said to them, “I assure you: Unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you do not have life in yourselves. 54 Anyone who eats My flesh and drinks My blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day, 55 because My flesh is real food and My blood is real drink. 56 The one who eats My flesh and drinks My blood lives in Me, and I in him. 57 Just as the living Father sent Me and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on Me will live because of Me. 58 This is the bread that came down from heaven; it is not like the manna[m] your fathers ate—and they died. The one who eats this bread will live forever.”

59 He said these things while teaching in the synagogue in Capernaum.

[yokefellows]

A Spirit of Power


Today’s Saying

Courage is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of fear. The more courage you manifest within, the sooner you move your life forward.

Today’s Scripture

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9

Today’s Sermonette

Sometimes, the world can be a scary place. Scratch that, sometimes it can be downright terrifying. War, sickness, corruption, injustice, death, every day brings something new to worry about.

As Christians, we know God has a plan for our lives, but we also know that doesn’t make us immune to pain and suffering. So how can we possibly go about our lives when faced with so much uncertainty?

We might start by looking at the apostle Paul. Paul knew what it was like to live in uncertainty. Throughout his life he was blinded, beaten, shipwrecked, exiled, and imprisoned on multiple occasions.

The temptation to give in, and let fear ruin him, must have been enormous. Yet, look what he writes in his letter to Timothy,

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner.

But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life--not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace.

This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.” –

2 Timothy 1:7-10 Yes, there are many frightening things out in the world, but God did not give us a spirit of timidity. God gave us a spirit of power.

His Holy Spirit lives in us, and it reminds us in that still, small voice to be brave even in the face of danger.

Paul knew that his life would be hard, and that in following Christ he would likely lose it, but that knowledge didn’t take away his courage. Instead, he strove to live in a way that glorified God.

None of us know what the future may hold. We might find ourselves facing challenges we never thought we’d have to endure.

When that happens, we must remember to have courage like Paul. If we do, we will be able to meet whatever comes and not be ashamed.

Today’s Supplication

Father, I am in awe of You. Your power and might is unlike any other, and You are worthy of our reverence and respect. Renew my understanding of You so that I might grow in knowledge, and therefore be courageous in Your name. Amen.

[nijjhar]

John 6v35-40:- The evil-spirited clever greedy ruling Rabbis would not l... John 6v35-40:- The evil-spirited clever greedy ruling Rabbis would not like to know Christ Jesus but the honest Shepherds, victims of the crook Rabbis listened to Christ Jesus. https://youtu.be/penHkQTOudc Holy Gospel of our Supernatural Father Elohim, Allah, Parbrahm, etc., delivered by the First Anointed Christ, which in Punjabi we call Satguru Jesus of the highest living God Elohim that dwells within His Temple of God created by the demiurge Potter, the Lord of the Nature Yahweh, Brahma, Khudah, etc. and it is called Harmandir or “Emmanuel” according to Saint John 6,35-40. Jesus said to the crowds, "I am the bread of life or what came out of the Mouth of Jesus for which you need the “spiritual Mouth”, the ears longing to hear the Gospel Truth; whoever comes to me, Listen, will never hunger for the dead letters of the holy Books corrupted by the crook hypocrite Temple Priests, the Husbandmen of the Wine Press coining the moral laws, and whoever believes in me through logical reasoning will never thirst for the Living Water called “Aabay Heayaatt”. But I told you that although you have seen (me) performing the Miracles as Nicodemus saw and believed but not the crook greedy Husbandmen of the Temple, you do not believe. They see but they do not perceive the taproot of the Scriptures, the Oral Torah. Everything that the Supernatural Father of our supernatural “soul” gives me will come to me, the Son of the Most High Christ whilst the physical body was Yahshua, the Second Adam and I will not reject anyone who comes to me, because I came down from ABOVE heaven, the Purely Celestial World of Sadhus who became Eunuchs for the Royal Kingdom of Allah not to do my own will called “InshJesus” but the will of the one “Allah”called “InshAllah” who sent me. And this is the will of the one who sent me, that I should not lose anything of what he gave me, the Pre-destined people but that I should raise it on the last day as demonstrated in the First Fruit Lazarus whose wounds were licked by dogs and he cheated none. Mary Magdalene took to the profession of prostitution to feed the family but Jesus told her so far they are faithful to Abraham and Yahweh, they will not go hungry. Preach the Gospel from the Rooftops, God will look after you. For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who sees the Son performing the miracles as Nicodemus saw and believed and believes in him may have eternal life, and I shall raise him on the last day – Lazarus Family. This was told by the once-born Martha as well that those who believed in Christ Jesus will be resurrected to Eternal Life like their Supernatural Father Elohim, Allah, Parbrahm, etc." Youtube channel - Truthsoldier I served in the satanic Iraq war. I openly am shamed for that and I asked for forgiveness for taking part in that war. I actually had my awakening while over in Iraq. My eyes were opened to the injustice of that war. The Iraqi people loved Saddam; they had whole stories with nothing but Saddam’s face on everything. Since then I have been speaking out against the US and ISRAEL on my Youtube channel. Here is my contribution:- Holy spirit, common sense, shatters the fetters of the dead letters, the Holy Books. If we have One God, our Supernatural Father of our souls, then there should be one Faith. In Christianity, Jesus said One Fold called the Church of God headed by One Shepherd, our Bridegroom Christ Jesus/Christ = Satguru Nanak Dev Ji, the Second coming of Jesus. Greatest Blasphemers and Killers Blair and Bush being considered by Anti-Christ Bishops for Nobel Peace Prize. Nobel Peace Prize should rather go to Assange and the Iraqi Journalist who threw both his shoes at the hypocrite Bush in Iraq. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qHdTpTXHvE&list=PL0C8AFaJhsWz7HtQEhV91eAKugUw73PW1 Christ Jesus was killed by the Temple High Priest Hypocrite/Blasphemer against the Holy Spirit and so are these Bush and Blair who at the backing of Jewish people in the USA destroyed one country after the other starting with the cradle of Humanity Iraq, the Land of the forefather of the Chosen People who are no more faithful to Abraham but has become sons of the Highest Satan Al-Djmar Al-Aksa. Blair and Bush’s blasphemies against Holy Spirit:- https://youtu.be/0WBYOmpDuCs American Jews are today – http://www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/GrimReaper.htm Destroying one country after the other, so that the scripture is fulfilled. Also, do not forget the partition of India and how the dirty hearted-British divided the homeland Punjab of the brave Jatt tribal soldiers who fought in the two World Wars for the British. My ebook by Kindle. ASIN: B01AVLC9WO Full description:- www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/Rest.htm Any helper to finish my Books:- ONE GOD ONE FAITH:- www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/bookfin.pdf and in Punjabi KAKHH OHLAE LAKHH:-  www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/pdbook.pdf John's baptism:- www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/johnsig.pdf Trinity:- www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/trinity.pdf

[yu-noji]

The Five Points of Calvinism: Understanding the Doctrines of Grace

Calvinism is a theological system that emphasizes the sovereignty of God in salvation. The five points of Calvinism, also known as the doctrines of grace, are a central component of this system. In this article, we will explore each of the five points of Calvinism and their significance.

Introduction

Calvinism is a branch of Protestant Christianity that is named after the theologian John Calvin. It emphasizes the sovereignty of God in all areas of life, including salvation. The five points of Calvinism, also known as the doctrines of grace, are a framework for understanding God's plan for saving sinners. These five points are often remembered by the acronym TULIP, which stands for Total Depravity, Unconditional Election, Limited Atonement, Irresistible Grace, and Perseverance of the Saints.

Total Depravity

The first point of Calvinism is Total Depravity. This doctrine teaches that all human beings are born in a state of sin and are incapable of doing anything to save themselves. The Bible teaches that the heart of man is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9) and that there is none who seeks after God (Romans 3:11). Total Depravity is the recognition that we are all spiritually dead and that we need God to save us.

Unconditional Election

The second point of Calvinism is Unconditional Election. This doctrine teaches that God chooses to save some people and not others based solely on His own sovereign will, not because of anything they have done or will do. This election is not based on any merit or foreseen faith on the part of the individual. The Bible teaches that God chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1:4) and that salvation is not of works, but of Him who calls (Romans 9:11).

Limited Atonement

The third point of Calvinism is Limited Atonement. This doctrine teaches that Christ's death on the cross was intended to secure the salvation of a specific group of people, the elect. It was not intended to provide the possibility of salvation for all people, but only for those whom God has chosen to save. The Bible teaches that Christ died for His sheep (John 10:15) and that He gave Himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for Himself a people for His own possession (Titus 2:14).

Irresistible Grace

The fourth point of Calvinism is Irresistible Grace. This doctrine teaches that when God chooses to save someone, He will do so irresistibly and effectively. The Holy Spirit will work in the hearts of the elect to regenerate them and give them the faith to believe in Christ. This grace is not something that can be refused or resisted by the sinner. The Bible teaches that no one can come to Christ unless the Father draws him (John 6:44) and that it is God who works in us both to will and to do for His good pleasure (Philippians 2:13).

Perseverance of the Saints

The final point of Calvinism is Perseverance of the Saints. This doctrine teaches that those whom God has chosen to save will persevere in their faith until the end. They cannot lose their salvation or fall away from grace. The Bible teaches that those whom God justifies, He also glorifies (Romans 8:30) and that nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:38-39).

Conclusion

The five points of Calvinism are a framework for understanding the biblical doctrine of salvation. These doctrines emphasize the sovereignty of God in the salvation of sinners, and they provide a clear and coherent understanding of the gospel message.

Total Depravity reminds us that we are all sinners in need of salvation, and that we cannot save ourselves. Unconditional Election teaches us that God has chosen to save some people, not because of anything they have done, but solely because of His own sovereign will. Limited Atonement shows us that Christ's death on the cross was intended to secure the salvation of a specific group of people, the elect. Irresistible Grace teaches us that the Holy Spirit works in the hearts of the elect to regenerate them and give them the faith to believe in Christ. And Perseverance of the Saints assures us that those whom God has chosen to save will persevere in their faith until the end.

Together, these five points provide a biblical understanding of salvation that exalts the glory and sovereignty of God. They remind us that salvation is entirely the work of God, and that we contribute nothing to our own salvation. We can rest in the assurance that our salvation is secure in Christ, and that nothing can separate us from the love of God.

[hiswordsarekisses]

To those who are the called, beloved, and kept for Jesus Christ (Jude 1)

“Everyone the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will never drive away. For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but to do the will of Him who sent Me. And this is the will of Him who sent Me, that I shall lose none of those He has given Me, but raise them up at the last day. For it is My Father’s will that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in Him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day.”” John‬ ‭6‬:‭37‬-‭40‬

“being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians‬ ‭1‬:‭6‬ ‭

“I ask on their behalf. I do not ask on behalf of the world, but on behalf of those You have given Me; for they are Yours. All I have is Yours, and all You have is Mine; and in them I have been glorified. I will no longer be in the world, but they are in the world, and I am coming to You. Holy Father, protect them by Your name, the name You gave Me, so that they may be one as We are one. While I was with them, I protected and preserved them by Your name, the name You gave Me. Not one of them has been lost, except the son of destruction, so that the Scripture would be fulfilled. But now I am coming to You; and I am saying these things while I am in the world, so that they may have My joy fulfilled within them. I have given them Your word and the world has hated them; for they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I am not asking that You take them out of the world, but that You keep them from the evil one. Sanctify them by the truth; Your word is truth. As You sent Me into the world, I have also sent them into the world. For them I sanctify Myself, so that they too may be sanctified by the truth. I am not asking on behalf of them alone, but also on behalf of those who will believe in Me through their message, that all of them may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I am in You. May they also be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me.” John‬ ‭17‬:‭9‬-‭15‬, ‭17‬-‭21‬

I the Lord made the heavens and stretched them out, who spread out the earth and its offspring, who gives breath to the people on it and life to those who walk in it: “I, the Lord, have called you for a righteous purpose, and I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you and appoint you to be a covenant for the people and a light to the nations, to open the eyes of the blind, to bring prisoners out of the dungeon and those sitting in darkness out from the prison house.” Isaiah‬ ‭42‬:‭5‬-‭7‬

“I brought you from the ends of the earth and called you from its farthest corners. I said, ‘You are My servant.’ I have chosen and not rejected you. Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will surely help you; I will uphold you with My right hand of righteousness. Behold, all who rage against you will be ashamed and disgraced; those who contend with you will be reduced to nothing and will perish. You will seek them but will not find them. Those who wage war against you will come to nothing. For I am the Lord your God, who takes hold of your right hand and tells you: Do not fear, I will help you.” Isaiah‬ ‭41‬:‭9‬-‭13‬

[amicidomenicani]

Question Good morning, Father Angelo, I hope you are fine. I have a question, and this time it's about my inner life. Until now I had never confided to anyone the story that I am going to humbly entrust to you. It is about my inner life. I started praying for priests in 2016. In practice, it was the year in which yet another story of sexual abuse had shocked the church and the world, especially the United States. I began to pray for the priests to thank Christ for the graces and the mercy he gave me. By praying for priests my spiritual life has progressively changed. I felt like Christ was acting and was more and more present in my life. I began to feel his presence more and more, and He began to provide for both my spiritual and material needs, and to guide my life along safe paths. It almost seemed that He, in his communication and in guiding me with his love, was addressing me directly. At first, I doubted it was true, but every time I delved through study and research, I realized that what I received in prayer was correct and real. Why does this happen, Father Angelo? Why did Christ suddenly start acting in my inner life? Over time my prayer for the priests increased: I started praying for my own priests, bishops, cardinals, to the point where I started praying for the Holy Father, Pope Francis. Like a small plant that turns into a big tree. And I didn't stop there. My prayers have extended to those who themselves pray and intercede, as nuns and sisters. And each time Christ responds with His providence. I ask for your opinion on this, dear father, and for advice on how to behave. Thank you very much. P.S. Since I came across this website, every time I pray for priests you are included too. Answer of the priest Dear friend, 1. I believe that there has been a positive turning point in your spiritual life precisely because of a particularly precious good work, which is the prayer done for priests. 2. Although conferred a particular sanctity by reason of the character imprinted on their soul in the day of their priestly ordination, they are not exempt from the temptations of the evil one. When St. Thomas wonders why Jesus Christ let himself be tempted, he replies that he did it “that we might be warned, so that none, however holy, may think himself safe or free from temptation. Wherefore also He wished to be tempted after His baptism, because, as Hilary says (On Matthew, 3): «The temptations of the devil assail those principally who are sanctified, for he desires, above all, to overcome the holy». Hence also it is written (Sir 2:1): «Son, when you come to the service of God, stand in justice and in fear, and prepare your soul for temptation»” (S. Th., III, 41, 1). 3. Your prayer communicates immense strength in the world. Alexis Carrell, a Nobel laureate in medicine who converted in Lourdes after a resounding miracle, said that "prayer is the most powerful form of energy we can arouse". After yet another scandal at the hands of priests, the Lord aroused in you the desire to pray for them. Indeed, it was the Lord who aroused this desire in you, “for God is the one who, for his good purpose, works in you both to desire and to work” (Phil 2:13). By reciprocating, it is as if you had opened the door to the Lord, who has entered even more into your life. St. Therese of the Child Jesus was right in saying that a well returned grace is followed by many others. 4. The temptations to which priests are exposed are of various kinds. I will just point out one: inurement to what they do. Accustomed to being in the Church and going around the altar, they may lose awareness of the greatness of their mission. I am writing to you on 23 September 2022, memorial of St. Padre Pio of Pietrelcina. Here is the advice he gave to one of his spiritual daughters: “Enter the church in silence and with great respect, considering and deeming you unworthy to appear before the Majesty of the Lord”.

The priest enters it all the time for a thousand reasons. And here he takes the risk of not thinking at all that he is standing before the Majesty of the Lord. Padre Pio also wrote to the same person: "When you leave church, have a collected and calm attitude: at first greet Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, ask him for forgiveness for the shortcomings committed in his divine presence and do not part with Him unless you have first obtained the paternal blessing”. Because of the constant coming and going, the priest is tempted not to think at all about the preciousness of that moment both for himself and for the faithful entrusted to him. If, on the contrary, the priest was aware of it, his life would be a continuous blessing: from the Lord to him, and from the priest to his faithful. 5. In a letter sent to his spiritual director, he wrote: “Pietrelcina, April 7, 1913. My dear father, I was still in bed on Friday morning when Jesus appeared to me. He was all battered and disfigured. He showed me a great multitude of regular and secular priests, among whom were several ecclesiastical dignitaries. Some were celebrating, while others were donning or taking off the sacred vestments. It was very painful for me to see Jesus in such distress, so I asked him why he was suffering so much. I did not receive any answer. Nevertheless, his gaze turned again on those priests; but soon after, as if horrified and weary of looking, he withdrew his gaze. And when he raised his eyes and looked at me, to my great horror I noted two tears coursing down his cheeks. He went away from that crowd of priests with an expression of great disgust on his face and cried out: «Butchers! ». Then turning to me he said: «My child, do not think that my agony lasted three hours, no. On account of the souls that I have benefited most, I will be in agony until the end of the world. During the time of my agony, my child, nobody should sleep. My soul goes searching for some drops of human compassion but alas, I am left alone beneath the weight of indifference. The ingratitude and the sleep of my ministers makes my agony all the more grievous. Alas, how little they correspond to my love! What afflicts me most is that they add contempt and disbelief to their indifference. Many times I have been on the verge of thunder against them, had I not been held back by the Angels and by the souls who love me. Write to your (spiritual) father and tell him what you have seen and heard from me this morning. Tell him to show your letter to the Provincial Father…»”. 6. This dramatic vision of Padre Pio leads to reflection. Therefore, continue to pray a lot for priests so that they are aware of their vocation and of the most holy realities of which they are ministers. In proportion to this prayer, the Lord will bless you more and more. Thank you very much for particularly including me in this prayer. I wish you well, I too bless you and gladly reciprocate a special remembrance in prayer. Father Angelo Translated by Chiara P.

[gduncan969]

Dealing With Disappointments and Tragedies

Job 13:15: “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him..”

If there was ever anyone with a right to complain about his lot in life, surely, it was Job.  In one day He lost all his sons and daughters, his oxen, his donkeys, his sheep, his camels and all but four of his many servants.  Next, he lost his health and was covered from head to foot in painful boils that he tried to scrape off with a piece of broken pottery—ouch!  What a mess he was in! One moment he was the poster-child for how to live a successful Godly life and the next he was the epitome of a devastated, despairing man.  Topping it all off and adding insult to injury, the only thing he didn’t lose in this tragedy was his nagging wife!  In her own struggle with the tragedy, she couldn’t resist letting him know who she held responsible for the mess they were in. “Do you still hold fast to your integrity?—are you still insisting you’ve done nothing wrong?” she asked (Job 2:9).  But Job adamantly refused to admit what she and  his three comforters who were to follow concluded (and, if we’re honest, all of us are apt to conclude when tragedy strikes): behind it all there must be some terrible sin and this disaster is God’s punishment for our failures.  So, if Job wasn’t going to own up to his failure and repent of his wrong-doing, his wife let him know his best solution would be to “Curse God and die”.  If he was too stubborn to admit to whatever cardinal sin he must be guilty of, then all that was left to him was to end his life by cursing God.  Wow!, talk about kicking a man when he’s down!   All of us who have gone through deep tragedy know how easy it is to judge ourselves or others guilty even if we have no idea what we might be guilty of.  We can see no reason why this is happening to us so we cry out to Heaven for relief but all we seem to receive is silence, silence from the One who surely controls everything and surely could give us relief if only He was willing.  Why isn’t He willing?  Surely, we have confessed our sins, received His forgiveness through the shed blood of His Son, Jesus Christ and tried our hardest to please Him?  As His silence continues, our anger and disappointment increases while it slowly transforms into resentment against Him making us doubt His faithfulness. The lesson we have yet to learn is that tragedy for every child of God is not God’s punishment for our wrong-doing, it is God calling us into something better that we don’t yet recognize.  It requires that we trust Him completely.

What did Job think of it all?  Surely, he must have screamed at God, WHY?, Why is all this happening me? but look at how he reacts to the tragic news (Job 1:20-22):

Then Job arose, tore his robe, and shaved his head; and he fell to the ground and worshiped.  And he said: Naked I came from my mother’s womb, And naked shall I return there.  The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord.”  In all this Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong.

We have to admire his tenacity to God in the midst of the darkest days of his life. He was a man who did everything he knew to honor God in everything he did; in his family, in his business and in his dealings with others.  When his children had been out partying all night, he sent after them early in the morning to check up on them and pray for them in case they had “sinned and cursed God in their hearts”.  He was a father who accepted full responsibility for his entire family, a man of great integrity and one whom God Himself said of him. “There is none like him on earth” (Job 1:8).  Now tragedy had struck full force and all he wanted from God was, not who to assign blame to, but WHY has this happened?  He knew for a certainty that God was real and in complete control of His creation, that He is by nature righteous and forgiving, so why was this happening to him when he could find nothing in himself that deserved it?  Hadn’t he spent his entire life doing everything he knew how to make sure God would be pleased with him so what possible reason could there be for him to deserve such tragedy.

The rest of the book describes Job’s plea for an answer which he eventually receives from God but it wasn’t the answer he expected.  Rather, it was one that completely humbled him and changed his understanding of who God is forever.  But first, he poured out all his complaints to  his three friends who gave him the only answers they could, all based on the premise that bad things only happen to bad people—ergo! Job must be bad.  Job rejected this outright.  No way was he willing to admit he must have done something wrong  Throughout his entire discourse with them he never once accused God because all he wanted was for God to tell him WHY this had happened.  Doubtless, we all feel the same way.  Tragedies come our way that seem so cruel and senseless yet we love and serve the Lord the best we can so surely He will at least explain to us why we are going through such a tough time.  That’s what makes his silence so deafening.  “Where are you, Lord?” our hearts cry out as we struggle to accept what has befallen us but we realize that to blame God for such things in our lives is to accuse Him and deny that He is in complete control of our lives.  Sadly, many both inside and outside the church reject God because they are angry with Him for the struggles and disappointments they have had to endure despite their urgent prayers to God for relief. The question burning in their hearts is, “Why didn’t He answer me and why didn’t He come through for me?”

How do we answer these questions both for ourselves and for others?   I heard a politician recently tell of a conversation he had in the office of a much older colleague just as he was beginning his politicial career.  He asked the older man what was needed to be successful in politics and the the older man pointed to a trophy fish mounted on his office wall and said, “See that fish?  If he had kept his mouth shut, he’d still be alive today!”  That’s a lesson we all need to learn: when trouble strikes, bite your tongue, especially if it is someone else’s tragedy you are dealing with!  Just being there and being silent is often far more needful and far more comforting than trotting out pat scripture verses that only serve to add guilt to the pain already being endured by an already troubled mind.  “If only you had more faith”, some will even say, which simply repeats what the devil has been screaming in your ears since the first moment.   As Christians we are taught that God has everything under control in our lives (and He does) but in the midst of tragic circumstances it often doesn’t feel that way and we search for reasons to make sense of it all.  Telling someone who knows the Lord and is going through a tough time “you need more faith” is a slap on the face and the best answer to such cruel advice is to say to them, “OK, if I don’t have enough faith, let’s use your faith since you are so smart and holy!” but that might be considered unkind.  Such were Job’s three comforters who spend chapter after chapter accusing him and pleading with him to admit his guilt and repent of the terrible things he must be guilty of else why would all this be happening to him.  None of them recognized that God was in the midst of all of Job’s trouble, that the devil had to get God’s permission to do what he did and that God wasn’t punishing Job for sin but revealing Himself in a way that cannot be learned except through suffering and loss.  He wanted Job to TRUST Him in his circumstances, not to demand an explanation for them.  

God’s Response to Job

So, how did God answer Job?  First of all, I have not counted all the WHY questions Job threw at his three friends and the equal number of answers they threw back at him but there are hundreds of them.  Back and forth they go over many, many chapters of the Book but Job remains unconvinced and unrepentant in his search for an answer.  Finally, beginning in Chapter 38, God speaks and what he says should drive all of us on to our knees to repeat Job’s last words.  GOD DOES NOT ANSWER ANY OF JOB’S QUESTIONS!  Rather, He simply asks Job a few of his own:

Job 38: 1 - 11 “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell Me, if you have understanding. Who determined its measurements? Surely you know! Or who stretched the line upon it? To what were its foundations fastened? Or who laid its cornerstone, When the morning stars sang together, And all the sons of God shouted for joy?

“Or who shut in the sea with doors, When it burst forth and issued from the womb; When I made the clouds its garment, And thick darkness its swaddling band; When I fixed My limit for it, And set bars and doors; When I said, ‘This far you may come, but no farther, And here your proud waves must stop!’

And God goes on for two whole chapters (38 & 39) questioning Job.  As we allow the Holy Spirit within us to ask us these same questions in the midst of all that is going on around us in these days of wars, wickedness and woke insanity that is driving many to despair and fight feelings of hopelessness, how do we answer?  As we read of how things will be before Christ’s return, the wars and rumors of wars, the plagues, the earthquakes and the great falling away of many believers, how do we stay safe in the knowledge we will survive?  How does God answer our questions in these times of trial?  He points us to who He is and asks us to TRUST HIM!  God’s questions to Job had one purpose only: to show Job just how mighty God is, how wise He is and how loving He is through all of His creation.  He faced Job with questions of such infinite depth and wisdom and magnitude that made Job realize his puny brain was incapable of receiving the answers from such an all-wise, all powerful and infinite God.  Just look at Job’s response in Job 40: 3 - 5.

Then Job answered the Lord and said: “Behold, I am vile; What shall I answer You? I lay my hand over my mouth. Once I have spoken, but I will not answer; Yes, twice, but I will proceed no further.”

And again, in Job 42: 1 - 6

Then Job answered the Lord and said: “I know that You can do everything, And that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You. You asked, ‘Who is this who hides counsel without knowledge?’ Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. Listen, please, and let me speak; You said, ‘I will question you, and you shall answer Me.’ “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, But now my eye sees You. Therefore I abhor myself, And repent in dust and ashes.”

Job, and all of us, are incapable of understanding all the bad things that happen to us which is why the Lord asks us simply to TRUST Him with our lives.  If you have been struggling with your circumstances and have been tempted to complain to God about your lot, then recognize that the answers you long for are being held until you are capable of understanding them but in the meantime, learn to trust Him, know that nothing comes your way in life that first had to get permission from your heavenly Father and was meant for your good, not your harm.  May we recognize that although “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear”, I can now say, “But now my eye sees You.”  Once you’ve seen Him, you will be changed forever.