#this is excellent i already love these two
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"pilot Stolas was better!!" no, he wasn't.
"bring pilot Stolas back!!" no ❤️
You want an evil, manipulative, abusive villain with little to no redeeming qualities that is a Goetia and has cool powers? We have two of them: Stella and Andrealphus. If it's only about the 'asthetic', a character doesnt have to be evil to be cool, Stolas's demon form and powerful moments are already amazing, and although he's powerless now, I'm pretty sure he will get his status back at least for a while to make a badass scene.
What the Hellaverse doesnt lack is amazing villains. If critics were so much better and creative than Vivziepop, they wouldn't turn a complex, well written, well designed and well acted character like Stolas into a boring Valentino 2.0 just because the pilot version seemed creepier. Lmao Stella is literally what all of Stolas's haters claim to want, look how well they're handling her. Seriously I've seen people saying that Stella needs a sympathetic reason to be a fucking abuser, but when Stolas (not an abuser) has sympathetic reasons to be who he is and do what he does, it's suddenly not okay.
Stolas is the only character I've ever seen who: sacrifice his life to his lover, and is still called "selfish" and "not enough for Blitz"; is seeing being abused by his wife since EP2-Season 1, even singing about how his life with her was miserable yet he remained strong for his daughter, and people will still claim that Stella turned out to be abusive "out of nowhere"; is forced to marry someone he doesn't love, is abused by said person, spent years alone and enduring that misery, and when he finally chooses to stay with the one person that never abused him, he is an "evil cheater"; sacrifices his own safety and happiness to make his daughter safe and happy, and ALWAYS — always — take accountability when he fails her (or when she thinks he failed her) as any good parent would do, and still be called a bad father (addition: forced to have said child but loves her anyway🤡). Just say yall alergic to character development.
I lost the Tiktok now because I blocked OP, but the big argument about "how much pilot Stolas is better" is a lie basically: canon Stolas, (abuse survivor, has the best development of the show alongside with Blitz, a loving father who remained strong for his daughter), is a "loser" (also a twink in a derogatory way, which is funny like, just say the f slur, we know that's what you mean🤡 specially calling a male abuse survivor "coward" and "loser" lmao like we know), while the pilot Stolas is a "manipulative, inteligent, cold villain" uuuuh no he wasn't lol hate to tell you dude, Pilot Stolas wasnt an evil interesting genius that was sooo intimidating, nah he was just creepy and honestly as funny as the canon one. Yeah you just hate the gay owl being well written. Pilot Stolas has 2 minutes screen. Canon Stolas has two seasons of development, he is the better one, I'm pretty sure people who say this don't even remember half of the pilot.
So it's not really about Stolas's actions, or mistakes, or him being a good or a bad person (he is a good person). He could be the most perfect, excellent, flawless victim, the 'wokest' most self aware pure angel, it's still not enough. Because it's not about him, it's about a version of him that never came to be but haters love to whine about it.
#''they babied stolas!!'' cope 💜#also idc if you *like* pilot stolas but no he isnt better than the canon stolas#he is a past concept that was changed a long time ago. even viv confirmed she always wanted stolas to be redeemable#also ya know who approved Stolitz? Brandon. yeah Viv isnt the only big evil genius behind the 'toxique😱' shipp#helluva boss#stolas#stolitz
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maybe it's not our fault - chapter 03
── synopsis: after a nasty breakup that’s left you completely shattered, you’re set on giving up on love forever. That is until, in a surprising turn of events, your respective best friends start dating and one of their main goals is to restore the peace in your broken relationship. Will their plan succeed? Will they manage to play cupid and get you and your high school sweetheart back together, or will it all backfire and result in the end of their own love story?
There is only one way to find out. If only your beloved’s heart wasn’t already broken beyond repair…
╰─▸ ❝ pairing: hyunjin x fem!reader
╰─▸ ❝ content: exes to lovers, angst, mutual pining, fluff, suggestive themes, drama and heartbreak, jock!hyunjin who is captain of the uni's football team + dance major!hyunjin, college au, lack of communication.
╰─▸ ❝ word count: 16k
╰─▸ ❝ warnings: a lot of cursing, sex jokes, mentions of a threesome, arguments, hyunjin's angry 80% of this chapter.
a/n: this chapter is super long but i swear it doesn't feel like much fhdhhfgh. we have flashbacks, kissing, drama and angst <3 y/n thinks of hyunjin for the majority of the chapter lmao. i've been waiting for soo long to reveal everything that's happening here, so pls enjoy and let me know your thoughts <3<3<3
One year ago.
“Hwang! Out!”
Out of frustration, Hyunjin removes his helmet and throws it on the ground with such force that it almost ricochets back into his hand, grass debris flying up and staining his white uniform pants. He takes a moment to calm down amid the craziness of the game, running a hand through short, black hair as the coach continues yelling at him from afar.
Frozen on the spot, Hyunjin pauses a minute more, chest heaving from the effort while sweat clouds his vision, barely reacting as his teammate, the other quarterback passes by him and pats his back.
Concerned, you hurry down the steps, almost crashing into the short fence that separates the field from the audience, searching for his eyes. You want to call out, but he seems to snap out of it on his own, legs leading him back to the coach on autopilot.
“Hyun…” You lean over the fence, trying to understand what the older man is telling him, heart squeezing painfully in your chest as worry overwhelms you.
A little further away, Hyunjin has his head hung low as the coach scolds him, screaming in his face about what just transpired on the field. American football was an aggressive sport, one you never saw Hyunjin getting roped into. Your boyfriend was soft and gentle, all smiles and crinkled eyes – you never understood where this desire came from, seemingly sprouting out of nowhere.
He was an athletic guy, but artistic, dedicating most of his time to dancing and painting, with the casual swimming lesson here and then. So, when he suddenly told you, in your freshman year of university, that he was thinking of trying out for the football team, you were surprised.
Hyunjin has loved football for as long as you can remember. He was an excellent player, an asset for your high school’s football team for the two years he spent playing on it. But he never took it too seriously, looking at it as a means to destress and have fun with his friends, one of these sports he became fond of as a kid.
You never thought he’d go through with it, but he always loved surprising you. Not only did he do it, he even made it to captain in his first year, thanks to his great skills and leadership abilities.
Since then, Hyunjin’s plate has always been overflowing, barely juggling all his hobbies while remaining top of his class. One thing always had to suffer, get the short end of the stick and the least of his attention. Sometimes it was his grades, then his dancing, while other times he’d barely touch a pencil for months on end.
But never you. Your relationship never changed, no matter how busy or exhausted he was, Hyunjin put loving you on the pedestal he carried on his shoulders daily.
At last, the scolding ends, and with a forceful pat on his shoulder pads, the coach walks away and leaves your boyfriend stranded, benched for the time being.
“Hyunjin!”
His head shoots up instantly and you swear, besides the sweat, there’s now a hint of tears in his eyes. Frustrated and angry, they don’t dare roll down his cheeks in fear of getting his wrath.
Making his way over, you’re relieved to see his sharp edges soften, palms unclenching.
“Baby.” You coo the moment he’s near, instantly reaching to wipe his face with the towel you brought along, wanting to make him feel more comfortable. Without a word, he lets you pamper him while his eyes flutter shut, exhaling softly through his nose, chest already moving at a calmer pace.
Pushing his hair out of beautiful face, you rest the towel around his neck, his eyes following your every move until you offer him your opened water bottle, which he takes gratefully.
“It isn’t your fault.” You whisper, moving to wrap your arms over broad shoulders, pulling him into an embrace he returns instantly, strong arms around your middle almost lifting your body over the fence. “You did well. The coach saw you weren’t the one that started it.”
Conflicts on the field were rare but never nonexistent and as the captain, your boyfriend has had his fair share of them. Only this time, it got too far, with a guy from the other team getting into Hyunjin’s face to start a real, physical fight. Hyunjin usually didn’t engage, but this time he almost did, the guy’s nasty words getting under his skin.
Pulling back, you take his gloved hand into both of yours, gently massaging it. “Are you okay?”
His silence is concerning, out of character for the man who would usually talk your ear off about the most mundane things.
Eventually, Hyunjin’s lips part as he takes a deep breath, no longer able to meet your gaze. However, as he prepares to speak, someone beats him to it.
“Yo, Hwang! Get it together!” A familiar voice gets both of your attention and as you turn to the culprit, you see Jisung, frowning in his seat a few rows above while Chris next to him throws encouraging thumbs-ups your way. “Did you stub your thumb and need your girlfriend to kiss it better? Should she also get you a pacifier while she’s at it?”
He smirks, raising his chin defiantly, which certainly has the desired effect on your boyfriend. Without missing a beat, Hyunjin pries his hand out of yours, gently, and proudly raises his middle finger at the boy, making Jisung and everyone around him laugh.
You can’t help but roll your eyes, trying to bite back the smile that quickly widens when Hyunjin leans down without warning to peck your lips sweetly, not once, but two times, lingering there and basking in all the love and support your mere presence provides him with.
A few people in the audience, who seemed to have stopped following the game in favour of watching you, wolf whistle and cheer, deeming you more interesting. But your boyfriend doesn’t care, he never does when your arms are around him, grounding him and chasing all of his anger and negative emotions away.
When he pulls back, the smile on his lips is genuine as he rests his forehead on yours. “God, Jisung is so fucking annoying.”
You giggle, stealing another kiss he returns eagerly, cupping your face to bring you closer and lick into your mouth, not being able to hold himself back any longer. It’s hot and passionate, almost like he wants to eat you whole without caring about who’s here to witness it, adrenaline still pumping through his veins. He tilts his head to deepen the kiss, insatiable, and you barely hold yourself back from moaning into his mouth, still too aware of your surroundings to lose your head like that.
Fortunately, he remembers where he is and cools it down before you, pulling back with a low groan at the barely visible string of saliva that keeps you connected for a few seconds more.
“Thank you, baby.” He breathes out, relaxed, his previous frustration nowhere in sight. “My little guarding angel that always knows what to do to make me feel better.”
And as fate has it, Hyunjin only continued to change after that, day by day, and slowly but surely, you stopped being his top priority. Now, all of the previously mentioned hobbies and passions became more important, and more time consuming, while you, his family, and sometimes even his friends, were benched for seasons at a time.
Hyunjin never noticed it, nor did he recognize it as an actual problem when you brought it up, brushing past your concerns like they were nothing at all. He became snappy, more stressed, walking towards the edge of the abyss that represented burnout at an alarming pace he did nothing to slow down, almost like his brakes were removed.
Free falling to an impending doom.
That’s how you lost him. That’s how you lost the love of your life, unable to save him or any remains of the person he once was five years ago.
Present day.
Your head is spinning, still not fully processing the information you’ve just learned, frozen on the spot and forced to watch a scene that only brought you discomfort.
“Hyunjin…has been replaced?”
The words escape slowly, almost like you were first tasting them on your tongue before choosing to let them free. When you manage to tear your gaze from the field, blocking out the happiness on their faces, laughing away without a care in the world like they weren’t missing their core, the most fundamental part of the team, your friends are unable to meet your eyes. The only one who tries is Jeongin, with a frown that contorts his whole face, as if your sadness was contagious and he caught it without meaning to just because he was there.
But this one was his. Because Jeongin cared a great deal, the little brother Hyunjin never got but has always wanted. They used to be close like no other, and you can’t even begin to imagine what he’s feeling right now.
“Allegedly.” Jisung shrugs like he couldn’t care less, the perfect picture of nonchalance with his hands shoved deep into his pockets.
“Temporarily!” Seohyun quickly clarifies, shooting him a cold glare he doesn’t even acknowledge. “Just until he can play again, that’s all.”
Now, you’re even more confused, gaze dropping to Chris who exhales loudly, taking his seat with great difficulty. “Why isn’t he able to play?” He hesitates, and that causes your heart rate to speed up, worry plaguing your mind and painting your surroundings in charcoal black, the colors fading gradually along with the light in your eyes.
“Hyunjin…” Chris trails off, clearing his throat and avoiding your pleading eyes. “He got injured three months ago, at the last game of the season. The team couldn’t remain in the lead without him so they lost.”
Noticing the shock on your face, he grasps your hand, squeezing while the other three come to cover you from prying eyes. His voice drops to ensure nobody else hears your conversation. “It might’ve cost the team their victory but Hyunjin had to pay the price with his health. Changbin told me he still has trouble walking sometimes, so the coach and his dance professor agreed to give him more time to recover.”
“Hyunjin is injured…” You feel like a parrot, only managing to repeat whatever words have the biggest impact on your impressionable mind, stuck in place like a broken record.
“Bug – “
“You all knew and didn’t think to tell me?”
They don’t expect you to snap out of it so soon, and redirect your emotions at them, eyes narrowing. Seohyun looks sheepish, even a little guilty while Jisung doesn’t allow you to see his face, suddenly fascinated by the greatness of the stadium.
“I – “ Jeongin clears his throat, pushing his big glasses up his nose. “Tried to contact him after I heard what happened. He didn’t answer, not even once, not even as time passed and he was already MIA for months.”
His face falls, obviously mourning the loss of their friendship. “I’m guessing they got a similar answer. Felix took pity on me at one point and filled me in on his situation. Hyunjin travelled home to Daegu right after, so nobody saw him for months. He became a ghost I doubted myself of ever meeting…”
Chris nods, more in the loop than you were. “He didn’t answer any of our calls, but I did send him a flower basket and a card on our behalf.”
“A fucking flower basket, Chris?” You can’t hold it in, exploding like a firework that missed its cue and blew up in someone’s face, devoid of any pretty colors as tears well up in your eyes. “You can’t be serious. Tell me you’re joking.”
Everyone knew and chose to keep you in the dark, to protect you without realizing their actions were causing more harm than good.
If only you would have attended the game and not run off, if only they would have bothered to tell you – you could have been there for him, his shoulder to lean on during his recovery. That’s why Hyunjin was different, so much colder and detached; he was in pain. Sure, this change started way before the accident in June, when the game took place, but now his recent behavior made sense.
You couldn’t even imagine what he must be feeling right now, forced to sit on the sidelines, not allowed to express himself through dance or run freely on the field to blow off some steam. A tortured man, trapped inside his own body without any means of escaping. Everything he worked so hard on, poured so much of himself into suddenly ripped away from him, life put on hold because of a stupid accident. Of an injury he didn’t deserve.
The irony of it all almost had you in tears. Somehow, in some way, people who used their bodies for art, or to provide entertainment for others, always ended up in pain, unable to continue doing so.
Dancing was his past, present and future. Hyunjin must be devastated, rattling against the bars that kept him in place to be let out, screaming and crying in agony with nobody able to hear him.
One blow after the other, the coach’s decision must have driven him back home, to isolate himself from the world until he felt, even the tiniest bit, like himself again.
Scoffing, you don’t wait for any of them to answer, storming down the stairs in search of the man who possessed all the answers you were looking for, not staring back once as Chris called after you, concerned.
You slip through the crowd, quickly avoiding all of the students who were just now arriving, leaving the bleachers area and sneaking into the field, on the other side of the fence.
The coach has his back to you, an older man in his forties who was the equivalent of a teddy bear, leaving everyone confused as to what drove him into coaching such a sport. In your opinion, he should have been a kindergarten teacher, with the way he coddles these grown men on the field. Of course, except in the cases where they mess up or get into fights.
“Oh, it’s you.” The coach tenses up once he notices your presence, surprised, almost like the one in front of him wasn’t you but a big, intimidating guy ready for a fight.
You slide next to him, taking a seat on the bench he’s standing by. “Hello.”
“Hyunjin isn’t here.”
“Yes, I have eyes.”
He looks nervous, arms crossed over his chest as he sneaks glances at you from the corner of his eye, perplexed at your sudden appearance. “Listen, if you came over to try and convince me to change my mind – “
“I didn’t.”
His shoulders slump forward, deflating as he sighs, looking straight up defeated, like the team’s fate has been sealed before they even got the chance to play. Fidgeting on the spot, you wait patiently for him to speak again, knowing it’s a matter of time before he caves in and spills his heart out. The coach has always been a sensitive man, a heart over mind type of guy, caring beyond belief which made him the butt of the joke one too many times.
“I didn’t want to bench him, it was never my intention, believe me. But I had no choice.”
You remain composed, crossing one leg over the other as you watch the team warm up some feet away. “Because of his injuries?”
“Yes.” He breathes out, relieved you seem to understand. “He’s all skin and bones now, barely managing to use his dominant hand. Tell me, what was I supposed to do? Put the team above his health? Ruin his chances at a full recovery because of my selfish reasons?”
Now that was definitely an exaggeration. You’ve seen him recently, granted in his uniform, but Hyunjin looked fine, just about the same. The same but different, taking into account the changes he brought to his appearance.
But you did remember seeing him catch the football with his left hand while his right was behind his back, almost like he was hiding it from the world. This was concerning, causing anxiety to eat at your core unpleasantly. If Hyunjin also injured his dominant hand, that meant he couldn’t paint. Which ultimately meant he was currently going stir-crazy, feeling truly hopeless.
Why was the universe so cruel to him?
“And so? Who became captain in his stead? Yeonjun?” You play dumb, keeping your emotions in check just to get all the necessary information out of him. A little dishonest, but your moral compass wasn’t really working right now.
To your surprise, the man scoffs, turning to face you. “Yeonjun? He called me a joke and laughed in my face.”
Bewiled, you lean closer, trying to understand Yeonjun’s behavior. He was one of the best guys on the team, why would he react like that? “What?”
He nods, letting his bulky arms fall to his sides. “All of my best players refused to fill in for him, turning me down in hopes of changing my mind and allowing Hyunjin to return sooner.”
Now this was heartwarming, pulling an unvoluntary smile out of you, happiness blooming in your chest at their obvious care for their long time captain. They were all standing in solidarity with him, unafraid to share their opinions and give the coach a piece of their mind. Hyunjin was so loved – if only he was here to see it with his own eyes, you were sure he’d feel a hundred times better.
“Then maybe you should.”
“I thought you said you weren’t here to get me to change my mind?” He raises a suspicious brow.
You grin, standing up and inching closer. “I lied.”
With a sigh, the coach shakes his head, not as impressed as you thought he’d be. “Sorry, can’t do. I already spoke with his dance prof and Hyunjin will be taking it easy for the next two months.”
You open your mouth ready to protest, his decision a little too extreme until something makes you stop, a light bulb going off in your head. Two months meant until November at most. The season started in late October which meant, in his words, Hyunjin would be back just in time to lead the team to victory. He wasn’t trying to sabotage him or his mental health, the coach was genuinely looking out for him, trying to help and ensure he was completely healed before the championship.
He was giving him as much time as he could to pull himself together, to regain his strength and the sparkle in his eyes. Hopefully, Hyunjin could see that, see the light that was peeking through the dark clouds that were currently only bringing rain into his life.
Seems like, no matter how hard you try, you’ll always care for him.
“Besides,” he continues, voice softer as he notices the contemplative look on your face, “Jaemin is a good player. Hyunjin picked him himself during last year’s tryouts.”
Well, Hyunjin definitely didn’t expect Jaemin to take his place when he made that choice.
“He’s the only one who didn’t reject me. If it weren’t for him, our team wouldn’t have a captain right now, and you know how important that is for morale.”
Now this spoke volumes about Jaemin’s character. Sure, this was the right thing to do, a noble act that was meant to redirect the team on the right track, lead them in time of need. Yet, on the other hand, your personal feelings on the matter viewed him as an opportunist, one that couldn’t care less about Hyunjin or the individuals on the team.
It looked like his loyalties only lay with himself. Something that wasn’t viewed favorably in a team sport.
“So please, don’t resent me too much.”
Your head snaps to him, to see the man crestfallen, a sign his decision must weigh heavy on his heart.
Sighing, all the fight leaves your body as you prepare to leave, taking one last look at the field that now looks so much different. “I don’t think I’m the person you should be telling that to.”
Defeated, he nods and walks away towards the locker rooms, to reflect or maybe encourage the remaining guys before the game starts. You barely make it two steps when a deep, loud voice startles you out of your thoughts.
“Y/n! Wait up!”
Turning, you’re surprised to see the one currently running towards you, distraught and desperate is none other than Daehyun from Yonsei University. Your rivals in more fields than one, the deans have been beefing behind the scenes and plotting on how to take the other down every single day without fail for years now.
Despite your reservations, you allow him to catch up, curious about what he’s going to say. You weren’t friends, but you did bump into each other on one too many team dinners in the past, loving to celebrate his wins at the same restaurant Hyunjin’s team frequented a little too much. Petty and immature till the end, no wonder his most famous nickname was Petty Wap.
He comes to a stop in front of you, briefly leaning on his knees to catch his breath before blurting out, without giving you the chance to say anything. “Where the fuck is Hwang? Did he finally realize he sucked and quit for good?”
Your eyes widen at the blatant disrespect, blood boiling in your veins as you try to pull yourself together and not cuss him out into retirement. With the nastiest glare you can muster, you cross your arms over your chest. “Hello to you too, Daehyun. Don’t you have a game to play?”
“What game?” He throws his arms up before running a hand over his face, too agitated for your liking. “I’m not playing against anyone other than Hwang! So where is he? Do I need to come drag his ass back on the field or what?”
The rivalry that sparked between them after a random game a few years ago was often a form of entertainment for all the people in attendance, who were looking forward to the games they’d play against each other in anticipation of the winner. SNU’s team was arguably better than Yonsei’s, all of the stats pointing in that direction but sometimes, even they failed as the two teams would be neck and neck until the goal that sealed their fates.
It was mostly a one-sided rivalry, with Hyunjin loving to get under Daehyun’s skin by barely acknowledging his existence on and outside the field. Which only sprouted him, set on earning Hyunjin’s attention like he was some sort of buff high school girl, spending her days longing for her crush’s love.
You don’t get to respond when an arm is thrown over your shoulder, the friendly gesture signalling only one person’s presence.
“Get off the field then. Nobody is looking forward to your lacklustre performance anyway.”
You look up at Yeonjun, surprised at the hostility in his voice. Daehyun splutters, taken aback. “What – “
“Oh, sorry.” However, the apology is not sincere in the slightest, his arm pulling you closer. “Should I speak slower so you can catch up? Since you’ll never catch up to me on the field, I might as well give you an advantage. “
“Jun – “ You try to diffuse the situation once you notice the anger on Daehyun’s face, his form towering over you both.
“Motherfucker.” He bites, almost growling and you still can’t wrap your head around Yeonjun’s objective. Did he hear your conversation? Why the hell was he so mean?
You’re pushed behind him when Daehyun steps forward, chest to chest with Yeonjun like they were preparing for a face off, drawing the nearby players’ attention. Flabbergasted, you get a hold of his jersey and pull, urging him to back off until either of the coaches notices the commotion and calls the whole game off, benching them for the whole school year.
Before you know it, a hand comes in between them, and a familiar voice asks, concerned. “What is going on here?”
“Who the fuck are you?” Daehyun spits at Jaemin, eyes flying to Yeonjun who nods and makes a face you can’t see. Squinting down at him, more guys gather around, assessing the situation before deciding if they should butt in or not.
“You’re the pipsqueak that’s currently replacing Hwang?!” It dawns on him a moment later, and now his anger is quickly redirected. It almost looks like they’re both ganging up on Jaemin, suddenly joining forces once they realise they share the same enemy.
“Excuse me?” Jaemin raises a brow, looking between Daehyun and Yeonjun in confusion.
Then, almost like he couldn’t be bothered to speak to him again, Daehyun lowers his head to whisper to both you and Yeonjun, deeming you an accomplice. “Meet me by the lockers after the game. We can take him out together.”
Yeonjun smirks as you stare at them in horror, not believing your ears. “That’s the best idea you’ve ever had in your life, Park. Let’s do it.”
They high five, snickering and you take this as your cue to back away, not wanting to get roped into whatever deranged plan they were currently cooking up. Sure, your perception of him might have been altered, but that didn’t mean you wanted to see Jaemin getting beat up! What the hell was with men and starting unnecessary fights, just to satisfy their fragile egos?
You should let the coach know about this, just in case they actually decide to go through with their plan.
However, the tone of his voice surprises you before you can make your grand escape.
“Choi.” Jaemin speaks lowly, eyes narrowed as he stares at him with a superiority that is bound to make the other man’s blood boil. “Shouldn’t you be warming up for the game instead of kissing the competition’s ass? Or have I interrupted something I shouldn’t have?”
The implication isn’t lost on either of them and while Yeonjun fumes, Daehyun can’t help but chuckle, mumbling something under his breath that sounds almost like ‘my bitch’.
“Scram.” Jaemin points towards the benches like he’s training a stray dog who can’t do anything but obey, especially since the coach chooses this moment to exit the locker room. They stare each other down for a moment more before Yeonjun scoffs and walks away, bumping into his shoulder with unnecessary force while calling out mockingly.
“Aye, aye, captain.” Saluting, the bitterness seems to sting Jaemin, who exhales loudly, relieved when Daehyun follows without saying another word.
Then, his eyes land on you, and you do everything in your power to not react as nasty as the other two did.
“Y/n?”
“Y/n!”
You ignore him, whipping around in the opposite direction to find Chris by the fence, waving you over, a little concerned and ready to jump over any obstacle to get to you. Behind him, you spot Seohyun, Jisung and Jeongin looking just as worried.
So, without another glance in Jaemin’s direction, you walk away, your indifference leaving him confused, and a little hurt, wondering what he could have done to upset you.
Oblivion was his middle name. Or so, you thought.
You don’t stay for the game, previous plan all forgotten, your little friend group bouncing to a nearby café for a hot drink and a much needed chat.
Chris explains everything, from beginning to end, with the other three chiming in whenever necessary to complete his story. As you’ve already established, Hyunjin got injured at the last game of the season, with some guy tackling him to the ground with a little more force than usual. He was expecting him to stand his ground, meet him head on and when Hyunjin didn’t, they both ended up hurt.
Hyunjin came out of it with a broken leg and a sprained hand, his helmet preventing any face injuries. It was apparently a big deal, taking two players out in an instant, and the game was almost called off until the coaches agreed to continue despite what happened. With him out, and all the other guys shaken up about what just transpired, SNU lost, not able to remain in the lead without its captain.
You’re listening so intently, transported into the story your choices prevented you from witnessing, that your heart breaks into tiny pieces all over again. You almost stand up and drive yourself all the way to Daegu, just so you can finally provide him with the love and care he needs, to beg on your knees for forgiveness like him getting injured was somehow your fault.
It wasn’t. It wasn’t anybody’s fault but his own. He took on too much, juggling too many things all at once while choosing to ignore the sirens and signs screaming all around him to stop. Hyunjin’s body has reached its limit and his stubbornness was the only one to blame.
And now, after making what he thought was a full recovery, he was forced to remain on the sidelines, so his mind could rest too. Chris continued to keep tabs on him, concerned as his friend, and Changbin had let him know that Hyunjin had just up and left their apartment, returning home to Daegu like he didn’t spend his whole summer there.
But not only was he in Daegu, with his dog and parents who were supposed to bring him the needed comfort, he was apparently partying it up every chance he got, urged on by his childhood friends and the people around him. Hyunjin was on a quest of destruction, with nobody there to stop or slap him back to his senses. Nobody aware of what was happening, anyway.
How the hell were you supposed to help him from over here?
Better yet, were you the one supposed to help him in the first place?
Even if you were to make the trip, which would never happen since none of your friends would allow you to leave like that, just as the school year began, who’s to say he wanted you there?
It was so typical of you to drop everything for him, put him above your needs and everyone else in your life that now, since his role in the story changed, you didn’t know how to cope.
On most occasions, it felt like he was the sun, and you were one of the many planets rotating around him, pulled in by gravity and whatever magnetic field he developed over the years.
And how was the Earth supposed to not die out without the Sun?
You were running for your life, book bag above your head doing a poor job at protecting you from the pouring rain that was coming down violently, almost like the sky was venting its anger onto everyone in the city. Everyone unfortunate enough to not have checked the weather forecast that morning, anyway.
A few weeks have passed by in the blink of an eye and now October rolled around, bringing along its best friends, rain and thunder. Some friends you didn’t particularly enjoy sneaking up on you.
You got caught up in tutoring the first years, so while most of the students had already gone home, you remained until the sun had set, being the last one to leave. It wasn’t like you to lose track of the time, but for once, you didn’t mind since you were enjoying yourself after so long.
They were full of energy and new ideas, coming up with things your department has never done before. And hence their excitement, you promised you would try to bring their project to life, take it upon yourself to talk to your professors and maybe employ the help of some upperclassmen.
You used to love getting involved in stuff like that, share the joy of music with everyone in different, innovative ways, get people moving to the beats you created. But with time, you seemed to have forgotten, your identity getting a little lost along the way.
Just as you’re about to start mulling over it, already chewing down on your bottom lip, Converse wet since you stepped into one too many puddles, a car pulls up right next to you, careful with the breaks to not splash anyone.
Without wasting a second, you run to the other side to get in, thankful for your saving grace.
The first thing Chris does when he sees you is laugh, reaching over the console in an attempt to fix your wet hair before deciding against it and opening the glove compartment for some tissues.
“Sweetheart, you look like a wet dog.” He states the obvious, eyes sparkling in amusement. “Did you wait long? Sorry, I was at the studio when you called.”
You shake your head, accepting the tissues to wipe your face as he starts driving. “No, don’t worry. Thank you for coming on such short notice.”
“I’ll always come when you call.” He says it like it’s the most natural thing in the world, and you know it’s true since he’s come to your rescue numerous times over the years.
You settle your bag on the floor, by your feet and that’s when you notice your seat getting warmer, the heat turned up just for you.
“Sorry for the mess. I know how much you despise water on your leather seats.”
Chris shakes his head, doing a great job at pretending he’s not bothered at all as he focuses on the road. “Nonsense.” Then, he nods to one of the drinks in the cupholder. “I got you a hot chocolate to warm up. The red one.”
You let out a short laugh, shivering as your clothes were still sticking to your skin. “Why is it red?”
“Because it’s from your favorite coffee shop, duh.” He rolls his eyes in fake annoyance, driving leisurely with only one hand on the wheel.
“God, have I told you how much I love you, lately?”
“You might have mentioned it once or twice, but it never hurts to hear more about it.”
Having him in your life was a blessing you still weren’t sure you deserved; the first person who’s ever shown you the real meaning of friendship, sticking by your side no matter how many years passed, or how much you changed on your road to discovery. He’s seen your highs and was right there for your lows, helping you get through them with a kind smile and encouraging words, never letting you give up no matter how hard it got.
“How was tutoring?” The rain is still slamming against the body of the car, even angrier now and you were so grateful you were finally out of it, spared of its wrath.
You look in the back for one of his gym towels, the napkins not cutting it anymore, quickly grabbing it to dry your hair when he nods. “Exhausting. These kids are way too happy.”
Chris laughs, tattooed arms flexing without difficulty in the flimsy tank top he was wearing, the black charm bracelet you’ve bought him for his 18th birthday shining prettily when the light from the lampposts outside hit it just right. You were getting colder just by looking at him. “We used to be just like them a few years ago.”
“I don’t miss it.” You shrug, bending your head to continue with your previous task.
“Liar.”
He knew you too well.
“Anyway, Binnie tells me you’re avoiding him.”
A gasp escapes you, sitting up a little too quickly. “I’m not!”
“Yeah?” He raises a brow, briefly making eye contact before looking back at the road. You were almost there, your apartment building not that far away from campus. “Then why haven’t you replied to any of his texts?”
“I – “ You trail off, embarrassed to say it out loud.
“What?”
Mumbling under your breath, you speak a little louder, but still not loud enough for him to understand you properly. Chris turns down the music just as one of his songs comes on, his playlist as random as ever.
“Y/n, sweetheart, dear best friend, I can’t hear a word you’re saying.”
With a deep sigh, you give in, right after throwing the towel over your shoulder, in the backseat. “Chris, I can’t write to save my life. I haven’t been able to write any lyrics in months now, my mind completely blank. That’s why I’m not texting Changbin back because I have nothing to say.”
Just then, the car comes to a stop and Chris rests one of his hands on your headrest, looking back to focus on parking.
You continue blabbering. “He’s coming up with all of these great ideas and all I’m capable of doing is agree and marvel at his genius.”
He chuckles but otherwise remains silent until the car stops moving, parking executed perfectly. Then, he raises the handbrake and bursts out laughing. “Genius, huh?”
You frown, blowing a wet strand of hair out of your face. “Don’t be mean.”
Shaking his head, Chris continues laughing. “You know what he does when he can’t write?”
“Hm?”
“Takes a break to get laid.”
You’re surprised, eyes widening gradually as he keeps laughing, reaching up to wipe stray tears out of his eyes like he’s delivered the funniest joke of the night.
A little embarrassed, you struggle to get a word in between his laughter. “Wow, gee thanks, Christopher! What helpful advice!”
You don’t know what’s worse. The fact that he believes you haven’t tried it before, or that he assumes your sex life isn’t completely nonexistent at the moment. Wait…what if he’s suggesting you sleep with Changbin? No, no, no! No way! Chris would never!
“What? You’re telling me you haven’t tried it before?” He wiggles his eyebrows, gently elbowing your side.
“To get inspiration?” He nods and you respond a little too quickly, feeling your face warm up. “No!”
Settling down, his smile is still as bright as ever, his happiness contagious as even you can’t stop yourself from giggling, despite the lingering embarrassment. Since befriending Seohyun, you’ve exclusively discussed things of this nature with her, sparing your childhood best friend the awkwardness the topic of your sex life would bring.
You were dating his friend, after all, you couldn’t begin to imagine how weird it would have been for him.
“You should. The post nut clarity hits hard, but not as hard as it hits Jisung.”
The face you make has him laughing again, and you almost gag at the idea of thinking of your other best friend in such a state. “Okay, gross! Stop putting these images in my head before I barf all over your expensive leather seats!”
Chris throws his head back, having the time of his life, until it hits you, reaching over to slap his biceps repeatedly.
“Wait, is that why he keeps going back to Yoona?”
“Bingo.”
“Oh my god!” You shriek, hand flying over your mouth in disbelief. “He’s so self-destructive!”
Nodding, Chris stretches in his seat. “I know and I keep telling him but it’s like he goes selectively blind, ignoring all of the red flags like they’re not even there.”
You couldn’t have said it better. Since before their break up, when the relationship was still fresh in the honeymoon phase, nobody could bring themselves to like Yoona. It wasn’t like she was a horrible person, this evil green witch straight out of a fairytale; she just brought out the worst in Jisung, stressing him out, upsetting him and making him cry more times than you could count. Their relationship turned toxic so fast that before you knew it, they broke up and got back together twice in the same month.
He claims he wrote all of his best songs while dating her but you beg to differ.
“Anyways, my point is.” Chan’s voice snaps you out of reminiscing, making you aware of the pouring rain that still shows no sign of stopping. “We all have an activity that never fails to inspire us. Or a person, a song, a movie or even a book. Try to remember yours and it will get easier.”
You nod, taking it all in. “Yeah, and apparently yours is sex. Have you ever thought about a threesome? Just imagine all of the ideas you’d get if the three of you had sex at the same time!”
The deadpan look on his face makes you lose it, his next words as serious as they come among your loud laughter. “Don’t even joke about this shit, Y/n, oh my God! My poor mind! I’m going to be sick.”
You’re having the time of your life at his expense, enjoying the way he shudders and gags as he starts imagining against his will. That’s what he gets for laughing at you.
“Fine, but only if we go in before I freeze to death.”
Chris rolls his eyes but complies, opening the door before your hand on his elbow stops him. “Didn’t you bring an umbrella? Or a sweater?”
“For what? Our building is right over there.”
“Chris, it’s pouring.”
He grins, showing off his pearly whites. “The last one there is a wet chicken.” And then he bolts, slamming the car door shut while his giggles resonate throughout the whole parking lot.
You blink, still staring at where he used to be a second ago before you’re taking off, not forgetting your bag in the process as you begin running after him, in the direction of your building.
The rain soaks through your clothes, cold and angry, but Chan doesn’t seem to care, deliberately stepping into every puddle with the biggest smile on his face. It reminds you of when you were kids, and you’d go out into his backyard to dance in the rain and look for snails, impatiently waiting for the rainbow that was sure to follow.
He looked so carefree and happy that it was rubbing off on you, allowing him to get a hold of your hands just so you could spin around, laughing together. The neighbours probably thought you were crazy, stupid kids without an ounce of maturity – but you were too happy to care, finally feeling like yourself in God knows how long.
Eventually, the cold found a new home in your bones, so you entered the building, creating small puddles everywhere you stepped, and laughing at each other’s appearance.
And there, by the elevator, was none other than Jisung, leaning against a nearby wall with his eyes glued to his phone. He was wearing all black, leather jacket with silver trinkets going along nicely with all of his jewelry and slicked back hair. The two of you were a mess compared to him.
“Ji!” You call out, startling him as he almost drops the device. “Hi!”
His eyes widen as he takes in the state of you, pushing himself off the wall in slight concern. “Yo, you’re both soaked. Did you decide to bathe in a puddle or what the hell happened?”
You and Chris share a mischievous look before nodding and lunging at him, arms wide open as he shrieks and tries to sidestep you.
“No! This is a new jacket! Spare me!”
“But, Ji! We missed you so much, let us hug you!”
He’s cornered, eyes darting every which way before the both of you are on him, squeezing him into the tightest hug, fueled by the power of friendship!
Safe to say by the end of it, Jisung had to join you upstairs to change before going on his merry way, grumbling about running late to whatever plans he’s made tonight.
A mere hour later, Chris has also left – something about an urgent appointment which in his language was code for one of his usual booty calls.
So now, you were all alone in your apartment, which felt a little strange. Always surrounded by your friends has made you a little dependent, needing them at all times to feel whole. But now, they were all out, having fun at a party or a random outing, because as much as it hurt you to admit, time didn’t stop for anyone. They weren’t frozen in place, unable to step out of quicksand and continue with their lives like you were, no matter how supportive or kind they’ve been.
Your life was on hold, against your will, but theirs wasn’t. As much as you deluded yourself into believing it, life went on, and your friends were all their own people, with their struggles and insecurities, and they weren’t obliged to stand still and wait until you got your shit together.
Not like you minded, that much. You reckon having them all to yourself, at your beck and call like you were nothing more but a fragile being that needed help at all times, would feel worse.
So, you were glad to see that their lives regained their normality, the one they struggled so much to build and keep.
And you were sure that after a while, you would manage to follow in their footsteps as well. Just not now. Now felt too soon for any of that, your fluffy blanket too comfortable to leave behind yet.
In an effort to do so, to begin training to ensure you’ll be able to keep up, you do the unexpected. Listening to Chris’ advice from earlier, you take one of your four guitars out of hiding, all dusty from the months spent in the disorganized closet. You knock over some boxes in the process, stumbling backwards like you weren’t welcomed into the little space, banished entirely from relieving any beautiful memory that was stored there.
From boxes to clothes, both yours and numerous articles that belonged to other people in your life, to your prized guitars and old diaries, your closet housed everything. There were photo albums, small gifts you wanted to keep safe, matching jewellery that was missing their other halves, movie, art gallery and concert tickets – you kept everything. A little bit of a hoarder, in Jisung’s words, your sentimental side couldn’t rid itself of anything.
Yet, one box decided to bare its contents to you, taking pity on your pathetic self. Crouching down to examine it closer, familiar handwriting greeted you with a punch in the gut, note yellowed with time.
The first song you ever wrote. And the cute, crooked doddles he decided to leave everywhere, like little comments and annotations he couldn’t keep to himself, highlighting every word or passage he liked. Hearts, smiley faces and angel wings, this is how Hyunjin described your stupid song that barely made any sense, the one he’d claim was his favorite, even after years and years passed and your skills improved.
You never got it, never understood why he was so attached to a love song written by a teenage girl who had no idea what love even meant at the time, a foreign concept she only discovered much later.
Perhaps he was even more sentimental than you, letting nostalgia rule his whole world without bothering to have a say in it. A go with the flow kind of guy, Hyunjin’s next move was always a mystery to everyone around him. That’s exactly why you were left dumbfounded when you tried gifting him this same song, but better, finished and properly recorded, a few years ago, and he firmly refused. He claimed the original was better, more authentic and you, and that nothing could ever come close to it in his heart.
To say you were disappointed was an understatement; you were disheartened for weeks, especially since that was the first time Hyunjin openly disliked one of your songs. Always your biggest fan, your muse would hype up everything you came up with and deemed worthy enough to put on paper, record and show him. After all, most of your songs were about him and your relationship, of course, he’d be left flustered and giddy, honoured by your unconditional love and support.
It's not like you couldn’t handle criticism, your whole major consisted of it, but when it came from him, it hit extra hard. Not like he criticized your work to begin with, he just felt comfortable enough to speak his mind – but for some reason, you still took it as such.
So, for a few months, you stopped writing and composing, being left in limbo just like you were now, not daring to pick up another pen. Back then, you managed to get out of that state with his help, his love the anchor that pulled you back up to the surface.
But now, you didn’t have such a luxury. How were you going to navigate these new waves by yourself?
Closing the box, you don’t spare it another glance as your foot pushes it back into the closet. You grab your guitar and move to the living room, making yourself comfortable on the couch with slight hesitation.
Your fingers hovered over the chords, mind racing with all of these different thoughts you couldn’t seem to put in order, quiet down enough to entrap on paper. You didn’t have a muse now, so what exactly were you supposed to write about? It felt like every significant moment of your life had a song, immortalized into a piece of art to remember for years to come.
All but one, the most recent event.
You begin tickling the chords, sheepish and clumsy, out of your element as the random anime sticker Jisung stuck on the guitar stares at you expectantly. The pink haired girl was smiling, but you still felt like she was judging you and your lack of talent.
“What the fuck am I saying?”
Shaking your head, your eyes close as a familiar melody fills the air, echoing through the empty apartment. Your favorite song has never failed you before, sure to warm up your brain and unlock the creative part of it, breaking the chains which held it captive.
The corners of your mouth tilt upwards in a small, but genuine smile, pleased at what you are hearing and experiencing, happiness blossoming like flowers in your empty chest. Just as you open your mouth to start singing, you can’t seem to find your voice, breath hitching in your throat.
You try again, and again, and by the third time, you’re luckily interrupted by loud buzzing, your fingers stopping abruptly. Where did you leave your phone?
Back in your room, you find it thrown on the bed, face down.
“Hello?” You answer, barely checking the caller ID, a little annoyed at being interrupted.
“Babe!” Seohyun’s loud voice greets you enthusiastically, followed by muffled giggling and booming music in the background. Now see, compared to Jisung, Seohyun would actually pick up the phone if you called even if she was having the time of her life at a party. “I miss you! What are you doing?”
You sigh, smiling despite yourself. “I’m at home, Seo. Did something happen?”
She was currently at a random sorority party thrown by her department, having fun with friends and classmates alike. Of course, she had asked you to come along but you really didn’t feel like it, choosing the comfort of your own home in favor of the loud, over the top party.
“So, nothing important, okay.” She giggles, and you can already tell how many drinks she’s had by now. “Will you come here? I promise it’s so fun, and you’ll love it!”
Your head turns to the window by the bed, the rain calming down but not stopping entirely. “But it’s raining.”
You hear her groan, presumably rolling her eyes before giggling again. “Oh, excuse me, your highness, I didn’t know a little rain would cause you to melt and turn into a puddle yourself.”
This time you snort, amused at her teasing. “Not at all, but I might grow a tail instead of legs and freak everyone out.”
You share a laugh, easily falling into your usual dynamic.
“Please?” She tries again, the music suddenly quieter. “I want you to meet someone and I know you’re in desperate need of a drink. Or two. Or a round of shots if I think about it.”
She was certainly right but you weren’t about to admit that and have her come back home just to drag your ass there personally.
“Seohyun – “
“No, I don’t want to hear it if you’re going to reject me!” Her voice gets higher, likely a little upset.
You take a seat on the edge of the bed, letting yourself fall backwards on the fluffy covers. “Then I’ll just hang up the phone.”
“Boo, you whore!” You laugh at the reference, not taking any offence as she keeps talking. “Fine, I’ll come and get you – “
She doesn’t get to finish her sentence as a loud shriek escapes her, followed by crashing in the background that has you sitting up instantly, worried.
“Seo, are you okay?”
No answer, at least not from her anyway, the chatter on the other side escalating into yelling that prevents you from catching any glimpse of your best friend. You hang up with the biggest sigh, throwing your phone to the side while letting your head fall onto cold hands, needing ten seconds to pull yourself together and come to terms with what you’re about to do.
When you stand up, grab your phone and keys, your mind is cursing at you for being such a good friend.
When you exit the uber, after a fifteen minute drive, you’re greeted by a sight that could only rightfully belong in a zoo. The beautiful and grand sorority, with its tall, white columns and perfectly mowed lawn, was a mess. With cheap, plastic lounge chairs thrown about hazardable, toiled paper on the roof and a few passed out students right next to random, white ballons and red plastic cups, the sight was one straight out of a bad, coming of age college movie.
It was obvious this was not the usual sorority party because the girls would never allow their place to get this rowdy. This was their sanctuary, so the fact that they allowed guys in here was already surprising enough. Now you were sure they would all be banned from stepping on their property by tomorrow morning, first thing once the sun rose.
You step over every drunk man and vomit puddle, swiftly avoiding the couples busy eating each other’s faces off as you enter, already regretting your decision. But Seohyun stopped answering her phone, and you were too worried for your own good, needing to know what exactly cut your means of communication to be able to sleep tonight.
The castle like interior was filled to the brim with students, from every department you could think of, lounging about anywhere their eyes landed, either to rest or because they were too intoxicated to get up. It’s packed, but somehow breathable, so you manage to make your way inside with ease – until you pass the grand staircase in the hallway, marble and chandelier. The main living area resembles a rave, lights down low, booming music along with the strong smell of alcohol and weed that makes your eyes water.
Ever the party animal, this was Seohyun’s natural habitat, loving everything this type of setting entailed, so she shouldn’t be far. You, however, were quickly remembering why you stopped attending sorority and fraternity parties in the first place. They weren’t as exclusive or organized as the parties 3racha threw, so by definition, they were a complete mess – mixing drugs with huge amounts of alcohol often led to lots of fighting, hook ups and too many unsanitary liquids on the floor.
They got so crazy that the university came up with a new rule, which forced every house to block off their pools and balconies to prevent any unfortunate accidents from happening. Most obliged, but some, that felt like they were above the dean, only pretended to listen to get the old man off their backs.
Passing through, you squint in an attempt at spotting any part of your best friend, bumping into people left and right. The colorful flashing lights were making it hard to see, or think, so you reached for your phone again, dialling her number in hopes of finally getting an answer.
You only manage to bring the device to your ear before a hand lands on your shoulder and suddenly, you’re spun around to face the one person you’ve been searching for. What luck, really.
“Babe! You made it!” Seohyun throws herself at you before you can utter a word, hugging you tightly with her arms over your shoulders, buzzing with excitement. Her sweet perfume provides a welcomed change from all the overwhelming smells in here, bringing you some much needed comfort.
“Seo.” You pull back, holding her by the shoulders with a frown. “I must’ve called you a hundred times by now. Why did you hang up like that?”
Visibly confused, your best friend blinks, the gold shimmer on her eyelids blinding every passerby. “What?”
“Your phone!” You try again, speaking louder to make sure she hears you over the loud music. “Where is it?”
“I’m not sure…”
The furrow between your eyebrows deepens, grabbing her hand into yours. “Seohyun.”
The smile she shoots you is so bright, so sincere and toothy that your concern seems silly now like you have been worrying for nothing. Squeezing your hand into both of hers, she doesn’t even seem to mind the people on the dancefloor constantly bumping into her, and you.
“Y/n! I’m so happy to see you!”
Defeated, you allow her to bring you into another hug, her delighted giggles like ointment for your tense muscles. One thing was for sure, Seohyun was drunk out of her mind, so you didn’t regret coming out to find her, even if her level of awareness was currently under the negative mark.
Dealing with a drunk Seohyun was a particularly challenging task, one not many could see to completion. Her energy was either on top of the world or down in the dumps, no middle ground. Clingy like no other or suddenly disliking you with all of her might, a river of tears running down her pretty face that somehow didn’t ruin her flawless makeup. Yet no matter her current state, Seohyun was still as endearing as one could be, unable to get mad when her childlike glee would sneak through all of your barriers and warm your cold heart.
“There you are.” A deep voice startles you out of your thoughts, clear as day in your ear despite the loud music all around you. “I should’ve known you’d manage to find her even in this crowd.”
Seohyun pulls away, eyes sparkling as they land on the new presence behind you, suddenly giddier than before. You don’t manage to turn around before a small, familiar leather clutch is handed to her over your shoulder, a strong yet sweet cologne invading all of your senses as the stranger gets closer.
“My bag!” She almost jumps with joy, smiling brightly as she hugs the expensive garment to her chest. You’re now trapped between her and a random guy you’re sure she just met, lovely.
Fishing her phone out of the bag, her attention is back on you. “Some guys got into a fight and bumped into me when I was talking to you, so all of my belongings ended up on the floor, trampled by everyone. Thankfully Felix took care of them.”
Your eyes widen, worry mixed with surprise creating a concoction of a cocktail in your head. “Felix?”
You whip around before she can say anything else, heart rate speeding up as anticipation rises. There was only one guy you knew with that name, and even though the odds were low, you needed to see for yourself, to check if somehow, by some weird coincidence, the guy Seohyun met was your old friend.
And so, as unexpected as ever, your jaw drops when you make eye contact, too close to be mistaken, his many freckles greeting you before he gets the chance to open his mouth.
“Hello, darling.” Felix smiles with his whole face, ready to burst with happiness at any moment. Your friend Felix, the one you met years ago in high school, who’s been studying abroad in Australia for the majority of your time here, was in front of you, smiling like he never left. Which was funny because his smile was the only familiar thing about him, while things like his appearance and clothes, even the way he carried himself, were completely different.
You barely recognized the person in front of you, so grown up with his bleached, shoulder length hair and black, leather clothes. The exterior was different, but changes on the interior were harder to spot, and to accomplish, and by the way he was staring at you one thing was for certain.
His heart definitely hasn’t changed.
“Felix?” You’re so taken aback that you can’t help but repeat yourself, his presence at this party is the last thing you expected. “But how? Why? When? Weren’t you just in Australia a few months ago – “
He laughs, high pitched as you remembered, throwing his head back in amusement. “God, I missed you, Y/n.”
You’re pulled into a hug before you can wrap your head around everything that’s happening, your questions left unanswered as he squeezes you tightly, lifting your feet off the ground. Felix was really here, at a random sorority party, treating you as warmly as ever.
For the longest time, you were certain that once he returned, Felix would treat you as coldly as Minho, barely acknowledging your existence and the bond you shared. Which was understandable, if you took into consideration the way your relationship with Hyunjin ended. But here he was, claiming he missed you.
He hasn’t been the greatest at keeping in touch, and you never blamed him – Felix was in his hometown, living life to the fullest, and experiencing university just like all of you were doing here. You couldn’t expect him to be as present as before, a significant part of your friend group when he had his own thing going on, almost an ocean apart.
His warmth was familiar as you hugged him back, reminiscent of the way he’d always hug you in greeting, every time you’d bump into each other, either by mistake or when all of you hung out together. It almost brought tears to your eyes, a wave of emotions surging through you.
When you’re put down, his smile hasn’t budged, staring at you with such fondness that you can’t hold yourself back from pulling his cheeks. “Look who finally remembered he also has friends here, in Korea!” You pull a little harder, and he grimaces, the only show of discomfort as he then laughs loudly. “Have you met up with Chris yet? He’s been missing you like crazy!”
One of his arms finds its way around your waist, the other reaching for Seohyun behind you as he pulls the three of you back, out of the way of all the people on the dance floor. By a wall, right next to a couch that was occupied by multiple couples who were oblivious to their surroundings, too busy making out to care, Felix finally answers.
“Not yet. I got back last month and I barely managed to find time to visit my grandparents.” The only family he still had here.
“Wait a minute.” As if snapping out of a trance, Seohyun butts in. “You know each other?!”
Both of your heads turn in her direction, stifling a laugh as she crosses her arms over her chest, little black dress riding up her thigh slightly. “What the fuck? I wanted to introduce you two!”
This time, Felix does laugh, properly amused. “You’re joking, right? When she and I met, back in high school, you weren’t even aware of her existence. I should be the one introducing Y/n to you.”
Baffled, she takes a step back and lightly collides with the wall, unsteady on her feet. “What?! Y/n’s my best friend!” Then, her gaze flies to you. “Right? Please back me up here.”
Giggling, you reach for her hand. “Of course, babe.”
Seohyun relaxes, and a smirk tilts the corners of her mouth as she sticks her tongue out at Felix. “See? Suck it, pretty boy.”
Shaking his head, chuckling, Felix leans over to tickle her sides, the sudden closeness surprising as they share a laugh. Maybe you should be the one getting an introduction after all because damn, where was all of this coming from?
“Yongbok!”
And just like that, your second surprise of the night strolls in like he owns the place, making his way over like there wasn’t a whole ongoing party keeping you apart.
Felix turns around at the same time your heart drops, smiling so brightly while you try everything in your power to not succumb to the inevitable panic attack that threatens to take you under.
“Hyunjinnie!”
What were the fucking odds?
Hyunjin shoves past a couple that’s in his way, tense features relaxing once he spots his best friend, managing to stand out from the crowd even in the dim, dark blue lighting in his red, mohair cardigan and blonde ponytail. A sight to behold, Hyunjin could never be overlooked, no matter what was currently taking place around him.
People stop and stare, eyes wide in wonder as some try to get his attention, to no avail. He doesn’t slow down nor greets anyone, for some reason in a hurry and heading straight to you. Well, not you specifically.
“Yongbok.” He breathes out once he reaches your little group, face stern. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Why the fuck did you run off like that?”
Frankly speaking, you couldn’t believe your eyes. Last you heard, Hyunjin was partying it up in Daegu. Did he suddenly change venues?
You couldn’t look at him, heart aching painfully in your chest, but at the same time, you didn’t seem to be able to look away from him either, his mere presence pulling you in just like it was doing to everyone else around. A magician without a wand, his irresistible charm was enough to enthral a whole room of people at a time.
Felix bounces on his heels, like an excited puppy seeing his owner after a long time, forgetting all about you. “Jinnie! I want you to meet someone!”
Seohyun disappears from your side, brought forth by Felix’s muscular arms, like some sort of trophy or a new, shiny toy a kid was excited about winning at a claw machine.
Hyunjin raises a brow, arms over his wide chest. “Seohyun.”
“Hwang.”
“What the fuck?” Now Felix is the confused one, but still not as speechless as you, looking between the two like they somehow grew a third head. “You know each other?!”
Talk about deja vu. Was it all a dream? Did you actually fall asleep before leaving the house and this whole scene was nothing but a fragment of your imagination? Somehow, that would make more sense than whatever was happening right now.
Hyunjin himself doesn’t seem to understand what’s going on either, but his cheeky side still manages to peek through. “We’re best friends.”
Seohyun scoffs, shaking Felix’s hands off her. “I can’t stand you.”
“See?” He grins, as fake as they come, in Felix’s direction. “I told you.”
“But…” Felix trails off, doe eyes softening as he looks at his best friend, almost like a lost child looking for guidance. “She’s the one I’ve been telling you about. The one I bumped into on the first day.”
Hyunjin blinks, gaze drifting to Seohyun. “So, you’re the one who stole his diary?”
“Stole?! I’m no thief, Hwang!”
Then, without being able to hold it in anymore, you explode. “What the fuck is going on here?!”
The three of them turn to face you at the same time, with Hyunjin’s eyes doubling in size like it’s the first time he’s made aware of your presence, the first time he sees you tonight. And you were sure it was, his attention solely on Felix from the moment he walked in. Which was to be expected, you haven’t been his priority in a long time. An afterthought he barely remembered on most occasions, as always.
Still, he takes the time to look you up and down, take in your pathetic excuse of an outfit you threw together in your hurry to leave the house, regretting your choice that was now making you feel self-conscious. Not like he was fairing any better, in his obnoxious leopard sweats you could never stand that he managed to pull off infuriatingly well, looking like he just rolled out of bed. Even so, he was still flawless, glowing like an angel without his halo.
You haven’t bumped into each other since last month but now, after your talk with the coach a few weeks ago, you saw him in a new light. Out of his gear, Hyunjin did look differently, softer around the edges, the weight loss visible on his lean body. Hyunjin was usually in tip-top shape, hitting the gym multiple times a week, properly taking care of himself and his health.
The injury must have left more marks than he would’ve liked, forcing him to watch his muscle mass decrease with every day spent in bed, making him weaker than he’s ever been.
“Y/n.” Seohyun grabs your hand, leaning into you for support as Felix begins talking Hyunjin’s ear off about what happened earlier. He’s still staring at you, and you can’t seem to be the first to give up and look away, not managing to decipher the emotion in his eyes. “I don’t feel so well.”
Your other arm wraps around her shoulders automatically, to keep her upwards as you continue looking at him, pulled in his direction. “Let’s go get some fresh air.”
Making your way outside proves more difficult than expected with Seohyun on your arm, leaning most of her weight on you. Leaving the guys behind, and Hyunjin’s intense gaze that you don’t notice following your every move, means you’re back into the sea of people, trying your best to navigate the tumultuous waters without crashing.
But you manage like you always do, and five minutes later you’re finally on the porch with a shivering Seohyun. The later hour has brought forth colder weather, characteristic of the autumn month.
“Are you cold?” You ask, just now noticing her outfit. In a strapless, sparkly black dress that barely covered her ass, your best friend shivers like a frightened chihuahua. When she nods, you don’t hesitate to remove your leather jacket and drape it over her shoulders, careful of her long hair.
“Thank you, Y/n.” She smiles, grateful, the cold helping her sober up. “And thank you for coming all the way here just because I asked. You’re an angel.”
You shake your head, thinking nothing of it as you hug yourself. The tight and thin crew neck you had underneath isn’t helping you combat the cold at all. “I was worried.”
“I’m sorry.” She whispers, staring down at her shuffling feet, heels suddenly uncomfortable.
“Do you want some water before we leave? I’m pretty sure there were bottles by the front door.”
“That’s champagne.” Seohyun laughs, properly wearing your jacket. “Believe me, I’ve had more than enough of that.”
As you open your mouth to respond, the words die on the tip of your tongue when the front door slams open and startles everyone nearby in the process. You barely register as a random, naked guy flies past, running around the front yard without a care in the world, making it out into the streets and flashing the whole neighbourhood.
He’s happy, laughing loudly as a small group approaches with their phones out, putting on a show for them all to record and make fun of later. With the elegance of a baby deer that’s just learned how to keep steady on his feet, the guy jumps and dances or attempts to, his ballet number not as graceful as he’d hoped.
Not like it matters anyway – even the couples that were busy making out are now cheering on him, clapping and giving him the confidence to continue with his drunken charade.
“It’s small.”
You turn sharply to face her, eyes wide like you couldn’t believe your ears.
“What?” She throws her head back in delight, finding the scandalized look on your face more entertaining than the guy who was currently making a fool out of himself. “It’s an unspoken rule! If your wiener isn’t cooked, you don’t take your pants off.”
You’re still silent, disgust slowly morphing into your features.
“Sorry. I forgot you don’t get my humor.” Seohyun sighs, disappointed.
“Yes, I do. This just wasn’t funny.”
“Or you’re just a prude.”
You gasp, taking a step back. “Wait, do you actually think so? Because Chris has implied the same thing earlier and now I’m starting to believe – “
“Were you planning on leaving without us?”
You’re cut off by the same deep voice from before, with Felix and Hyunjin seemingly appearing out of nowhere since the front door was still wide open. You don’t make eye contact, body turned slightly away from the two in an obvious display of discomfort. As much as you loved Felix, the fact that he brought your ex out here was really starting to bother you, heart aching a little too painfully to be bearable.
“Yeah, the uber is on its way.” You mumble, shuffling closer to Seohyun.
“Lying is a sin, Y/n.”
You roll your eyes just as Felix gasps, warm hand landing softly on your elbow. “Are you in a hurry? Did something happen?”
“Not at all!” Seohyun chimes in before you can respond, stepping between you and the two blondes. Come to think of it, they must’ve talked about it beforehand – their hairstyles looked a little too similar.
Turning to them with a sigh, Felix grins and squeezes your arm. “Great! Because Jinnie will be driving us!”
Hyunjin’s bleached eyebrows shoot up, surprised. “Does Jinnie know about this?”
Felix frowns, his hold on you loosening entirely. “Is Jinnie deaf?”
“Does Yongbokkie want to be left here?” Hyunjin counters, faux sweetness in his tone.
“I was the one who called you –“
“Do you guys need a moment?” You can’t help but giggle as Seohyun interrupts them, not missing the way Hyunjin’s eyes fly straight to you, softening. Meeting his gaze for a split second, you look away as loud cheering erupts from inside, attention stolen once again.
Shaking his head, Hyunjin then steps away with a sigh, presumably to his car.
Felix’s eyes follow him, his hands reaching for both yours and Seohyun’s as he begins dragging you along, contagious happiness in his voice. “Alright! Let’s go!”
A little farther down the street, the party and its loud music start fading in the distance, a faraway memory you won’t be looking forward to recalling any time soon. Hyunjin is a few feet in front, leading the way without a word. In contrast, Felix hasn’t stopped talking since you left.
Frankly speaking, letting your ex drive you home was the worst idea someone could ever come up with. Your protests fell on deaf ears, however, because both Felix and Seohyun were too giddy and enamoured with each other to bother hearing anything else. So, you were stuck between them, surrounded from all sides with no way of escaping other than running back in the direction you came from.
Lovely. You couldn’t think of a crueller fate, really.
A faint beeping sound signals you’ve reached your destination, but the car in front of you couldn’t be Hyunjin’s. This big, white SUV was brand new, nothing like the old, muscle car he got as a birthday gift a few years ago. Confused, you try to look around as subtly as possible, trying to understand what could’ve happened with the other car.
Meanwhile, Hyunjin opens the door to the back seat. “After you, Your Highness.”
Felix almost jumps in, stumbling over his own feet in the process and falling face first into the leather seat, to which both Seohyun and Hyunjin laugh a little too loudly at seeing. But he recovers quickly, and so do you, and as you move to join him, Seohyun steps right in your tracks.
“Babe.” She lowers her voice, waiting until Hyunjin takes his seat at the wheel before continuing. “Would you please, please, seat in front – “
You immediately shake your head, refusing on the spot. “No.”
Was she crazy? Batshit insane? You could not sit there, right next to Hyunjin and pretend everything was fine and dandy when you felt like you were on the edge of a cliff, ready to fall to your doom at any second.
“Y/n – “
“Seohyun – “
“Hear me out!” She whisper yells, cheeks rosy as she bites onto her bottom lip, timid. “I really like this guy. Felix is like, the nicest man I’ve ever met and I think he might like me too. So, can I please sit with him?”
“But you will, I’ll just be on your other side.” You force a smile, reaching for the door until she slams it shut, surprising you.
“Alone?” She adds, sheepish and way too flustered than she’d usually get in front of anyone. Seohyun was bold and confident, nobody could ever reduce her to a blushing, stuttering mess like she was right now. Nervous was not a word in her vocabulary so, nobody could blame you for not recognizing the person before you.
But then again, she was still drunk, emotions heightened by the alcohol she consumed. Still, you don’t think she understood what she was asking of you.
“Please, Y/n? Will you please do me this huge favor? It’s a fifteen minute drive anyway, you’re gonna be fine.”
Right, because who cared about what you felt anyway? Y/n, the one who always puts others and their needs above her wellbeing.
Seohyun is staring at you expectantly, almost like knowing you will eventually give in and she’ll get her way. Which would have offended you if it weren’t true.
With resignation written all over your face, you step away, and she cheers while thanking you multiple times, her voice dying out when you get into the car and close the door. Hyunjin barely spares you a glance, like you riding shotgun next to him is the most natural thing in the world.
Because it is. Or actually, was.
Seohyun follows quickly after, and Felix shifts to make room, the rearview mirror turning you into a spectator of a play you didn’t have any interest in watching, at least not right now. A story of new affection, an unexpected bond that appeared out of nowhere and forced you right back to the person who made you stop believing in true love.
But then again, maybe you shouldn’t jump to conclusions so soon. As much as you hoped this thing she had with Felix worked in the long run, you had to be realistic and remember they just met.
The four of you won’t ever be together like this again. You were going to make sure of it.
Hyunjin wastes no time in starting the car, driving off without a hitch, as relaxed behind the wheel as always. This new car was different, so much different than the one he’s been driving since your freshman year, but nobody seemed to care. This man was slowly but surely changing everything about himself and none of his friends said anything, not an ounce of concern expressed for his ears to hear.
You needed to talk to him.
“Nice jacket.” Felix says lowly, a statement meant for Seohyun’s ears only. However, his deep voice carries over, and since neither is trying to be subtle, you and Hyunjin have no problem hearing everything.
“Thanks, I got it from my date.” Unexpectedly, she drapes herself over your seat to plant a big, loud smooch on your cheek that doesn’t fail in leaving a red, lipstick mark. You’re so taken aback that you don’t react for a few moments, stunned before a groan escapes you and she laughs, delighted at your misery. You pull down the mirror on your side to check the damage, rubbing off the mark with your fingers while the conversation continues.
“I thought I was your date?” Felix asks, slightly offended.
“Well, I didn’t see you offering me your jacket?” Seohyun counters, arms over her chest.
Felix glances down at his outfit, leather shirt a little too constraining. “I’m literally naked under this.”
“What a surprise.” Hyunjin mumbles, eyes focused solely on the road.
Through the rearview mirror, you see Felix lean forward to pat him on the shoulder, grinning. “You shouldn’t be talking when you’re currently dressed like a fucking stop sign.”
Seohyun laughs, a little too loudly, and you try to muffle your giggles, still pretending to be busy fixing the mess on your face.
Out of the corner of your eye, you spot Hyunjin pouting the slightest bit. You haven’t seen him make that expression in literal months. “These are my lounging around the house clothes. Sorry I didn’t put on a suit before coming to pick your drunk ass up.”
Huh. Guess Hyunjin was tricked into coming over there just like you were, driven by the worry he only seemed to carry for his friends. Considering everything you’ve heard about him lately, you were half expecting him to be one of tonight’s hosts, coming from Daegu just so he can party it up with new people.
“Lighten up, Jinnie.” There’s a hint of melancholy in Felix’s smile, squeezing his shoulder before returning to his seat, and opening his arms to allow Seohyun to snuggle herself into his embrace. You flinch at the sight, looking out the window to distract yourself.
“Yeah, or else your face will remain stuck like that.” Seohyun agrees, her head on Felix’s chest.
When Hyunjin doesn’t respond, silence falls over the car, save for the occasional whispering and giggling heard in the back seat from the pair who were still too drunk for their own good. Stuck in their little world, they couldn’t care less about the fact that you felt like a fish out of water in your seat, suffocating as you tried your best to not glance at Hyunjin whose eyes were strictly on the road, focused on getting you all home.
The usual fifteen minute drive seemed to stretch on forever, your destination suddenly impossible to reach. You felt like you were driving around in circles, fidgeting in your seat in an effort to get comfortable.
Not only was Hyunjin too close for comfort after being out of reach for so long, but sitting next to him brought forth all of the instances you’ve found yourself in the same predicament, driving around together with no set destination in mind. Only back then, things were not as bad as now. Back then he was your boyfriend, your sweet and loving Hyunjin whose free hand was always resting on your thigh or holding your own, not letting go until the car’s engine was turned off.
Without their loud chatter to distract you, the strangeness of the situation was slowly creeping in, letting itself take shelter among your many thoughts. This must be as uncomfortable for him as it was for you, but for different reasons – especially since he now loved to pretend you didn’t exist, not sparing you a second glance no matter how many times your gaze found its way to him, staring holes into his perfect side profile.
It truly felt like he didn’t care about you anymore – the actual ending to the love story you thought would last forever. And it hurt, so much so that you struggled to breathe, opting to look out the window in hopes that your body wouldn’t betray you and let the tears escape without permission. That would be truly mortifying.
“Jinnie.” Felix’s voice makes itself heard again, snapping you out of your misery, quieter than before as you realize Seohyun is fast asleep on his chest, clinging onto him.
“Yeah?” Hyunjin asks just as quietly, meeting his best friend’s eyes through the rear-view mirror, which only prompts you to steal another glance at him. He’s relaxed, leaning back into his seat while driving with one hand, the other laying casually next to the central console. Your fingers were itching for him; it would be so easy to move over and hold his hand, intertwine your digits and bring them to rest on your thigh, just to feel his warmth one last time.
With a silent yawn, Felix gets more comfortable in his seat, looking sleepy himself. “I really hope you get to play next month. I know how much you miss it, and we all miss seeing you happy on the field.”
Your breath hitches in your throat as Hyunjin inhales sharply, free hand closing into a fist as the one on the heel tightens its grip, knuckles turning white. Before you can properly react, Felix continues.
“I overheard Mrs. Kang speak with your coach the other day.” He rambles on, the alcohol in his system blurring all of his awareness and making him spill everything without a care in the world, preventing him from noticing Hyunjin’s change in mood. “She hopes you’ll return to class soon. She misses seeing you dance and happily attending her lessons.”
You’re full-on staring at him now, following his every move like a hawk would its prey, noticing the way his muscles all tense up and scream at Felix to stop talking, his emotions threatening to overwhelm him. Your eyes widen as he slightly raises his fist, in a way that makes it seem he’s about to hit the dashboard, so uncharacteristic of him and his character that you almost freeze on the spot. Before you can even think about it, and process your next move, you reach for him, both of your hands closing over his fist to prevent him from being stupid. That makes him finally turn to you, eyebrows raised in complete surprise, facing you for the first time since you all got into his car.
Meeting his gaze, you subtly shake your head, letting your eyes do all the talking as you gently bring his hand in your lap, trying to coax him into unclenching his fingers.
Hyunjin is frozen, stunned and confused, tearing his eyes away from you once he remembers he’s still driving. Even so, a moment later, you feel him start to relax, your gesture appreciated.
Struggling to find an answer that would satisfy both him and Felix, Hyunjin fidgets in his seat, exhaling deeply once you finally intertwine your fingers with his. “We’ll see.” He manages to croak out, voice louder than before.
This answer, however, seems to confuse Felix even further. “Isn’t this what you want?” His accent is thicker, voice latched with sleep. He’s completely oblivious to what’s currently happening around him.
“Of course.” He nods, not skipping a beat, stealing another glance your way when you start drawing comforting patterns on the back of his hand.
Felix frowns. “Then – “
To Hyunjin’s relief, Felix doesn’t get to finish his sentence as Seohyun starts moving in his arms and steals all of his attention, with him opting to curl around her and whisper sweet nothings into her ear to soothe her back to sleep. A scene you wish you didn’t witness. Staring out the window once again, you try to shake off the painful way your heart keeps squeezing in your chest, hating yourself for your incapability of being happy for your best friend.
“Are you okay?” Hyunjin asks quietly, and it takes you a moment to realize he’s actually talking to you for once, briefly squeezing your hand as the car stops at a red light.
You nod, meekly, looking in the rearview mirror for a split second just to find Felix fast asleep, joining Seohyun in dreamland.
Your fingers on his skin stop their exploration once they feel something similar to a scar, tainting the side of his soft hand all the way up to his pinkie. You look down and see it, angry and red and just now beginning to heal properly. “Are you?”
He doesn’t even need to look to realize what you’re talking about, the brief touch causing him to tense up again and remove his hand like burnt, resting it back on the wheel. “Yup.”
You’re both lying.
The sudden tension is suffocating, so much thicker and unbearable than before as neither is willing to address the huge elephant in the room. You so desperately want to, having enough questions for the both of you. You knew he wasn’t curious about what you’ve been up to ever since you broke up, that he didn’t care, but you did, and this silence was eating away at your sanity with every second that passed.
Were you truly the only heartbroken one? The only one who suffered every day because of his absence? That was something you couldn’t comprehend, weren’t willing to entertain for the sake of your emotional well-being.
Hyunjin has been your everything once. Actually, as much as you hated to admit it, he still is. But how could you let yourself fall for someone whose feelings have never run as deep, didn’t consume his every thought and waking moment as they did to you?
How could you have been so dumb? But most importantly, how could you continue being this dumb when it was clear he didn’t want anything to do with you anymore?
Because you have no answers that don’t involve him, you somehow manage to muster enough courage to open your mouth and ask the one thing that’s been on your mind ever since you found out about it.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Your voice is low, and weak since bravery has never been one of your strong suits.
Hyunjin is silent, and you’re afraid that maybe he didn’t even hear you. Eventually, as he turns into a familiar street, he asks, voice just as quiet in consideration of the two sleeping beauties in the back. “Tell you about what?”
“Your injuries.” It escapes so quickly that you don’t even have time to regret or feel bad for bringing it up in the first place.
To your surprise, Hyunjin laughs, short and dry and way too bitter. “And why would I tell you about that?”
“Why?” You’re baffled, blatantly staring at him as he continues avoiding eye contact, like driving didn’t come as second nature to him. “We dated for five years, Hyunjin.”
“I’m well aware, Y/n.” The way he responds, with obvious animosity, makes you curl into yourself, hurting more than it should considering his recent behavior. He changes lanes, entering a well-lit parking lot. “But we’re not dating anymore, so me getting injured was none of your concerns.”
“None of my – of course it was! Are you hearing yourself?”
It’s not like you felt entitled to any explanation whatsoever – Hyunjin was hardheaded, you could never catch him doing something he didn’t want to, which in combination with his hyper independent self was a dangerous combo. But the way he was acting right now made it seem like he was actively trying to erase your shared past, on a solitary quest to a place that couldn’t be accessed by all of the memories and love you grew for each other over the years.
Never one to open up on his own accord when hurt, you had to pry every single word out of him with silver pliers to ensure they wouldn’t irritate his sensitive skin. But this was ridiculous.
The person in front of you was no longer the Hyunjin you have come to adore with every fibre of your being.
“And why would it be?” He counters, pulling the handbrake to ensure the car wouldn’t be going down the same hill your conversation will inevitably take a tumble on.
You shrug, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible before his icy glare. “You know why.”
“No.” Hyunjin shakes his head, running the hand that still had remains of your warmth through unruly hair. “No, I don’t”
Defeated, your voice drops to a whisper. “You should have just told me. Picking up the phone and texting is literally the easiest thing in the world.”
But Hyunjin isn’t as mellow. “If you cared as much as you’re suddenly trying to convince me of doing, you would have come to the game.”
The subtle accusation hidden between the lines stings, and you turn to face him in your seat with a little more bite than before. “Oh yes! Because you would have surely loved to see me there! Especially after you dumped me days prior!”
“Maybe I would have!” He throws his hands up briefly, coming together on the wheel as he lowers his head with a deep sigh, trying to get rid of the emotions that were threatening to bubble to the surface and take him down in the process
“You’re so fucking confusing!”
You can’t believe your ears nor the audacity Hyunjin is currently displaying, the entitlement so infuriating that you had half a mind of storming out of this car and never sparing him a glance for as long as you lived. Who did Hyunjin think he was to expect this of you? For you to read his mind and still put him first after he completely shattered your soul and entire existence?
He leans back, on the headrest with his eyes closed and you can’t help but wonder what nonsense he was preparing next. Annoyance pinches his every word, the belief he was being the bigger person as clear as day. “I don’t want to fight, Y/n.”
“Fight?” You blink, eyes narrowed as they shoot tiny daggers at his blonde head. “I only wanted to talk! But I forgot you hate talking to me, so let’s just drop it.”
Before you can even process it, Hyunjin removes his seatbelt and swings the car door open, preparing to step out. Your hand reaches for his in an instant, eyes wide as sadness begins overflowing the usual colour, the fear of abandonment surging through you at an alarming pace. “What are you – “
“Let’s talk.”
You let go, reluctantly, and his door slams shut, the loud sound helping you snap out of it and recognize your surroundings. He has driven you home, car parked in the usual spot he used every time he came to visit – his spot.
You squeeze your eyes shut, pulling yourself together before following him, not wanting to miss such an opportunity no matter how much your heart hurts.
Unbeknown to you, as soon as your door closes and you begin walking away in the opposite direction, two heads full of curiosity shoot up, undetected thanks to the car’s tinted windows.
“Phase one, complete!” Seohyun cheers, raising her dainty hand for a high fives Felix returns with a chuckle.
“I admit, I’m impressed.” He nods, eyes glued to his two friends outside who were currently studying each other with keen interest, unsure of where to start. “How did you know this would happen?”
“I didn’t” She shakes her head, fishing a hair tie out of her bag, suddenly as sober as one could be. “I just knew Y/n wouldn’t be able to keep silent, especially after you gave her the opportunity to ask about his injuries. They’re too obsessed with each other to shut up or keep their hands to themselves. You saw for yourself.”
Felix looks amused, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards. “You really do have a lot of faith in this plan of yours, don’t you?”
“Duh. Why wouldn’t I?” She smiles around the hair tie, twisting her long hair into a bun. “Just wait and see, I’ll have you calling me Cupid by the end of it all.”
He raises a brow, tearing his gaze away from the two when he starts to feel like he’s intruding. “And when does it end?”
“When they get back together, silly.”
“Sure. But in what time frame?”
“What do you mean?” Seohyun tilts her head, not quite getting his new line of concerns.
“Your whole plan is solely dependent on the conversation they’re having right now. What if they fight and nothing changes? Things might get worse and then you won’t be able to get them in the same room anymore, let alone back together.”
She pauses, lips thinning as the gears in her brain get back to work. “Don’t worry, I’ll manage no matter what.”
Felix is surprised by her determination, not expecting anyone to go to such lengths for a relationship that wasn’t their own. Y/n has found such a great friend in Seohyun, he’s glad she managed to open up and create new, genuine bonds while he was away. “Yeah? Even if they fight and swear to never speak to each other again?”
She nods, not fazed by anything he’s saying. “Yeah, wanna bet?”
Felix throws his head back, laughing loudly. “Bet on their relationship? Seohyun, that’s fucked up.”
“Bet on my amazing matchmaking skills, goofy!”
He wipes invisible tears from his eyes, freckles still sparkling from the faint traces of glitter on his face in the dim light that peeks through the windscreen, providing the night sky with the stars the grey clouds have obscured. “Alright, Seohyun, let’s bet. But if your plan falls through, you have to admit I was right.”
Seohyun frowns, a little offended. “We’re a team. You’re supposed to help me not pray on my downfall.”
“And I will.” He nods, leaning back into his seat while spreading his legs to make himself more comfortable, channelling all of his self-control not to spare the two outside another glance. “But my plan is better.”
Rolling her eyes, she scoffs. “Your plan takes too fucking long. I get taking it slow, but if we were to go with what you suggested, they’d only get around to holding hands by this time next year! We need to get a move on right now, Felix.”
“Alright, Miss Cupid.” Without warning, he leans in close, faces mere inches apart as they begin sharing a breath, lowering his voice to fluster her further. “Teach me what love is.”
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How Cherry reader x loser Chris met - no warnings - reader referred to as 'Cherry'
proofread by @sofia-is-a-sturniolo-triplet-fan @55sturn
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౨ৎ wc: 900
Cherry was a coffee drinker. She would pump coffee into her bloodstream if she could. Coffee was the only thing keeping her sane, so every morning, she made her way down to a local diner for a warm cup of coffee. The diner was a small building only a few blocks away from her apartment. Cherry did not mind, though. She liked her morning walks, especially when she could hear the crisp autumn leaves crunch under her footsteps. The bell on the diner’s door dinged as Cherry walked inside. The familiar smell of coffee and various breakfast foods filled her senses. She loved this place; it was nice and cozy, and it felt like a warm hug.
She sat on a bar stool at the counter, her purse down in the chair beside her. The server walked over and greeted her. The customer service was excellent; they practically knew her by name. The server poured hot black coffee into her mug.
Cherry took small sugar packets from the little container, put them into the mug, and stirred them with a small spoon, watching as the coffee swirled around in spirals. “Thank you,” she muttered as she raised the cup to her lips and took a drink. The warm liquid soothed her throat as she smiled. It was just what she needed.
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Chris pov
The brunette boy had practically been begging his two brothers to try the local diner he had heard about. “The sign said they have world-class pancakes,” he exclaimed when he had told them about it. And that’s how they all found themselves sitting in a booth at the small diner.
“I gotta try these pancakes, man,” Chris said as he eagerly waited for the waiter to come and take their order. “I still can’t believe you got a Pepsi. It’s eight in the morning, Chris,” muttered Matt as he sat across from him, taking a drink of his apple juice. Nick, on the other hand, was grumpy, as they had dragged him out of bed just for pancakes. He sat with his hands on his face, probably taking a quick nap.
The bell on the door rang, signaling someone had walked into the diner. Chris just so happened to look up at that exact time. His eyes glued to the girl who had walked inside, he watched as she sat down at the counter. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her, the way her hair was styled, her soft smile as she thanked the waiter for her coffee. “Dude, hello?” Matt repeated as he waved his hand over Chris’s face, trying to get his attention.
The waiter walked over to their table, setting down a plate of warm stacked pancakes in front of him. All of a sudden, Chris was no longer interested in the pancakes he was ‘dying’ to try. He looked down at his plate, but all he could focus on was the mental image of you drinking coffee at the counter.
“Chris, eat your pancakes. I didn’t drive here for you to just stare at them,” Matt’s voice echoes through his ears as he finally breaks out of his trance. Chris cuts into the warm fluffy pancakes as he stabs a piece with his fork, chewing the bite slowly as his gaze once again lands on you. To his surprise, you are already looking over at him with that soft smile.
-
Cherry had ordered a chocolate chip muffin, which she ate as she drank her coffee. She loved how the warm, gooey chocolate chips melted in her mouth. The atmosphere of the diner was calming, with people chattering and enjoying their breakfast. Her eyes scanned the various rows of booths before settling on a particular brunette who seemed to already be looking at her. She wasn’t sure why it looked like he had star-struck eyes. She gave him a small smile, seeing a slight blush creep up onto his cheeks.
She adverted her gaze back to her coffee as she took another bite of her muffin. She was startled by a voice, her eyes meeting the brunette boy as he took a sit on the other side of her on the bar stool. “Hey?” she says, which sounds more like a question as she is confused as to why he sat next to her. She took a moment to look over his features. She couldn’t deny he was attractive, his light blue eyes and the freckles that only came into view with the lighting. “Do you come here a lot?” she hears him ask as she watches him fidget with a silver bracelet on his wrist. “Yeah, I come here every day,” she replies as she meets his gaze once more.
From that day forward, Chris made an effort to go to the diner every day. He said it was because they had the ‘best’ pancakes, but truthfully, he didn’t care about the pancakes, he just came to see you. He grew to get tired of the pancakes, but never of you. He sat with you the whole time at the counter as you drank your coffee and talked about your life. You two instantly clicked, as he was also a big talker, but he wouldn’t utter a single word if it meant he could admire your voice.
a/n: sorry if this is rushed it's my first writing. This is my first idea at their meeting but I do have another one I might write. Any feedback is appreciated <3
divider by; @/anitalenia
#sturniolo triplets#forgottxen#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo imagine#chris x reader#forgottxen's alternative universe's ꩜ .ᐟ#nick sturniolo#sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo x you#sturniolo x reader#nicolas sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#*୧ ‧₊cherry reader x loser chris#Spotify
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Silent Night, No More - B.T.S
TLDR: CHRISTMAS EVE! This is part 12/12, the last part of Azzie's Advent Calendar 2024!
Word count + info: 5k + dialogue.
Warnings + Content Ahead: SFW! No warnings : )
Azzie Notes ✚: Christmas Eve chapter! Finally here, phew! Enjoy reading, and have a lovelyyyy holiday szn my loves <3 be safe and I wish nothing but peace and joy for u and ur loved ones :)
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Christmas Eve dawned on the house, and as soon as the house awakened, excitement and joy immediately lit the house throughout each room. Lisa’s kitchen felt like the heart of the house, beating warm and alive, with an aroma that wafted through the house, every surface serving a purpose as she began cooking the dishes, getting everything for the feast set to ensue later. The counters were a cluttered symphony of ingredients, flour-dusted bowls, glass jars of different herbs and spices, and a large array of serving dishes and other equipment. The oven hummed, working overtime while the gas stoves remained alight with several pots atop, as trays of stuffing and casseroles exchanged places. Lisa moved with the confidence of a seasoned cook, wielding her wooden spoon like a wand.
You, Emma and Ben, had weaved in and out throughout the day, helping clean up the kitchen or assisting in tasting and aiding in preparing some of the dishes. Still, truly Lisa seemed to have it under control, especially with all the prep you both had done the other day. Now it was more a case of gossiping and talking, keeping company while the minutes ticked away while Ben got shooed away to set up the large dining table and the kid's table for dinner.
Emma leaned against the counter, sneaking a piece of carrot from the chopping board while Lisa’s back was turned. “Caught you. Down, girl,” Lisa said without even looking, and Emma’s hand froze mid-air.
“Dang it,” Emma muttered, popping the stolen piece into her mouth anyway. “You’ve got eyes in the back of your head.”
“Mother’s intuition,” Lisa replied, her tone amused as she sprinkled paprika over a bubbling dish. Then, she turned to you. “You keeping her in check?”
You raised both hands in mock surrender. “She’s a free spirit. What am I to do, Lis?”
Emma giggled, linking her arm through yours. “Come on, let’s get ready before Mom ropes us into something else.”
In Emma’s room, Christmas jumpers were laid out on her bed like a festive fashion show. “We’ve got options for the both of us, but you have to wear a Christmas jumper - no escape,” she declared, holding up two hangers.
One featured a fluffy snowman surrounded by tiny, twinkling LED lights; the other was a maroon sweater adorned with white snowflakes and reindeer. “Which one says ‘I’m the life of the party, but also an excellent gift recipient’?”
You laughed, pointing to the reindeer sweater. “Definitely this one.”
She handed it to you before holding up another for herself, a green jumper with a cheerful Santa Claus and jingling bells stitched onto the sleeves. “Perfect,” she declared. “Let’s get festive.”
As you pulled on the sweater and paired it with a sweet black pleated skirt, you glanced at yourself in the mirror and couldn’t help but smile. It was cozy and just the right amount of ridiculous. You pulled your hair back and did light makeup, just blush and concealer and a touch of mascara. Emma, already fully dressed, fluffed her hair and tugged you into a selfie. “Documenting this for the archives,” she said, sticking out her tongue.
The two of you headed back downstairs, where Ben was crouched by the Christmas tree, adjusting the gifts as he snuck his Secret Santa present there too. He stood up as you entered, his eyes lighting up when he saw you. His own jumper, a deep red one with white reindeer, matched yours almost exactly.
Emma burst out laughing. “You two look like you planned this!”
“We didn’t!” you protested, feigning annoyance though your cheeks burned as Ben looked at you, his smile widening.
“Could’ve fooled me,” he said, tugging at his sleeve. “Guess great minds think alike.”
Back in the kitchen, Bryan had just returned, jingling his keys as he carried in a bag filled with snacks.
“Got the goods!” he announced, setting the bag down on the counter. “And before anyone asks, yes, I did mean to buy candy canes the day before Christmas.”
“Uh-huh,” Lisa said, arching an eyebrow. She reached into the bag and pulled out a pack of marshmallows. “And these were on the list?”
“Essential for s'mores,” Bryan said, unrepentant. Then, leaning closer to Lisa, he added in a low voice, “I stopped by the PO Box.”
Lisa smirked knowingly. “Last-minute gift retrieval?”
“Shh,” Bryan replied, holding a finger to his lips as he glanced at you and Emma. “Not a word.”
“Don’t worry,” Emma said, her tone dripping with faux innocence. “Your secret’s safe with us…for now.”
As Bryan moved past you, he clapped a hand on Ben’s shoulder. “You all set up here, kid?”
“Mostly,” Ben replied. He gestured to the table with a sweeping hand. “You want to check my work?”
Bryan squinted at the table like a coach assessing a play. “Not bad, not bad. You might have a future in hospitality if this tennis thing doesn't work out, son.”
Ben rolled his eyes, a grin tugging at his lips. “Good to know I’ve got options.”
As the sun began to set, the kitchen became a flurry of activity. Lisa transferred dishes to serving platters while Emma handled the gravy, stirring it with exaggerated care while you got the cranberry sauce ready. “Gotta keep the lumps out,” she said, winking at you.
Bryan circled back, snagging a piece of bread from the cutting board and earning a sharp “Bryan!” from Lisa.
“What? Quality control,” he defended, chewing unabashedly. Then he turned to you. “By the way, you’re fitting in around here like you’ve been part of the family for years. Good job surviving this lot.”
“Thanks,” you replied with a laugh. “I’m enjoying every chaotic minute.”
Bryan smiled warmly, and for a moment, the teasing glint in his eyes softened as he pat your back. “We’re glad to have you here. Really.”
Ben leaned against the counter beside you, brushing your shoulder with his. “Told you they’d love you,” he said quietly.
Your chest warmed as you turned to him, your voice soft. “Guess I’m just lucky to have the best companion.”
Ben smirked, nudging you lightly. “Please, lucky’s an understatement.”
“Alright, you three,” Lisa called, pointing her spoon at you, Ben and Emma as you stood near the cabinets. “The nice plates and cutlery are in the top drawer, and the good cups are wrapped in the linen closet. Don’t break anything.”
Emma rolled her eyes with a grin, nudging you. “She acts like we’re five. Come on, let’s make this table look like a magazine spread.”
The two of you dug out the plates, admiring the intricate designs that only ever came out for Christmas. Emma carried the stack carefully, while you followed with the silverware and cups, setting them down on the dining table where Ben was already arranging the candles and centrepiece.
“Keep it neat, Benny,” Emma teased as she set the plates down. “This isn’t your tennis playstyle; exactness matters.”
Ben shot her a playful glare, adjusting a placemat just to spite her. “Precision’s my speciality, Em. You’re lucky I’m not measurin' angles here.”
You chuckled, shaking your head as you placed forks and knives neatly beside the plates. The three of you worked in unison, the table gradually transforming into a picture-perfect setup with now lit candles, a centrepiece of poinsettias, and a sprinkling of gold and red decor.
As the sun dipped low, the food was plated onto the good dishes and placed in warming trays, bowls and serving trays, the kitchen alive with the clatter of lids and Lisa’s cheerful humming. Bryan returned to the rest of you, a sheepish smile plastered on his face after swiftly tossing his Secret Santa gift beneath the tree.
With the house organised and ready it wasn't long before the family began to arrive.
The door opened to a flood of warmth and sound. Aunts and uncles piled in with cheerful exclamations, small children rowdy and excited darting through your legs, and laughter filled the space as Ben’s family began their Christmas Eve takeover. The smell of cookies, pine, and faint notes of perfume wafted in with them, making the house feel even cozier.
Ben and Emma led the welcoming committee, diving into hugs and playful jabs like they’d been waiting all year for this moment. You followed closely, feeling the contagious energy of their enthusiasm.
One of Ben’s aunts, her arms full of baked goods, set them down to pull you into a tight hug. “Oh, so you’re the one,” she said with a knowing smile. “Ben’s talked about you nonstop. We were beginning to think you weren’t real!”
“I’m real, I promise,” you replied, laughing as she squeezed you again.
Ben’s grandmother was next, her soft hands wrapping around yours as she studied you closely. Her eyes crinkled with warmth. “Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” she said, her drawl wrapping around the words like a melody. “This boy better be treatin’ you right.”
“Oh, he is, it's a pleasure to finally meet you,” you assured her, feeling your cheeks warm under her kind gaze.
Ben appeared behind you, throwing an arm around his grandmother’s shoulders. “Nana, you’re embarrassing me,” he teased, though the fondness in his tone was unmistakable.
“Good,” she shot back, giving his arm a light slap before turning back to you, squeezing your hand tight before letting go. “We’ll talk more later, sweetheart.”
The uncles were just as welcoming, their handshakes firm and accompanied by wide grins. One leaned in conspiratorially, muttering, “If Ben’s giving you any trouble, let me know. I’ve got plenty of stories that’ll keep him humble.”
“Noted,” you said, unable to suppress your giggles.
Before long, the younger cousins made their presence known. They were a whirlwind of energy, zipping through the living room like tiny tornados. One darted behind you hiding, clearly using you as an advantage for a game of tag, giggling maniacally as another launched themselves at Ben, wrapping their arms around his waist.
“Ben!” the little one squealed.
“Oh no, not again,” Ben groaned dramatically, lifting the child effortlessly and perching them on his shoulders. “Alright, who’s next? Form a line!”
Three more cousins swarmed him, clambering up his legs and giggling as he tried to fend them off with mock protests. “I’m not a jungle gym!” he shouted, though his wide smile betrayed him.
You watched from the side, laughing at the chaos. One cousin paused mid-sprint to look up at you with curious eyes. “Are you his girlfriend?”
Before you could answer, Emma swooped in. “She’s our new favourite family member,” she said with a wink, ushering the little one back into the fray.
Dinner was nothing short of a spectacle. The dining table stretched to its limit, every inch covered with dishes that looked like they’d been lifted from the pages of a holiday cookbook. Platters of turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans, and cornbread vied for space with glasses of sparkling cider and wine.
Lisa stood at the head of the table, raising her hands to gather everyone’s attention. “Alright, everyone,” she said, her voice calm but commanding. “Before we dig in, let’s join hands for a quick prayer.”
You reached for the hands nearest to you, finding Ben’s warm grip on one side and his grandmother’s gentle hold on the other. The room quieted as Lisa spoke.
“Dear Lord,” she began, her voice steady and heartfelt. “Thank you for this family, for this meal, and for the blessing of being together on this special night. May we remember the joy of giving, the love that binds us, and the hope that tomorrow brings. Amen.”
“Amen,” echoed through the room, and then the feast began.
The meal was a lively affair, filled with overlapping conversations, clinking glasses, and occasional bursts of laughter. Ben’s younger cousins, who had temporarily calmed down enough to eat, couldn’t resist sneaking off with a plate of sugar cookies halfway through dinner. They reappeared moments later with suspiciously sweet-smelling fingers and wide-eyed innocence.
Ben caught them red-handed. “Hey! Those are for dessert, y'all are some sneaky lil-!” he feigned anger, chasing them around the table while the rest of the family laughed.
"He always finds a way to sneak back to the kid's table, huh?" one voice laughed.
Bryan just shook his head, pretending to be disappointed as he took a deep sigh, "Every year..."
Once everyone had eaten their fill, the group naturally drifted to the living room, bunching up together. The kids wasted no time sprawling across the carpet in front of the TV, eyes glued to the animated version of The Grinch that played on the screen while milk, cookies and other sweet treats were shared amongst them. Their giggles punctuated the festive chatter, pillows and blankets passed between them like treasures.
The adults, meanwhile, settled into clusters around the room, the cozy couches and armchairs filling quickly. Ben was at the centre of one group, effortlessly juggling questions about his career with that easy charm of his.
“So, what’s next for you, big shot?” one of his uncles teased, though the pride in his voice was unmistakable. “Still aiming for top 10?”
Ben leaned back against the couch, his posture relaxed but attentive. His arm rested along the back of the cushion behind you, a subtle but comforting presence.
“That’s the plan. It’s been a good year so far, but next season’s gonna be a whole new level. A lot of travel, a lot of long days, but I’m ready for it.”
Another uncle nodded approvingly. “As long as you’re enjoying it,” he said, his tone warm. “That’s what matters. Doesn’t hurt that you’re putting our name on the map, either.”
Ben smiled, the corners of his mouth lifting with quiet pride. “Yeah, it’s been fun. It’s a lot of work, but honestly, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”
One of his aunts, sitting on the edge of a loveseat nearby, chimed in. “Well, it’s been amazing watching you shine, Ben. Just make sure you’re taking care of yourself too.”
“I’ve got that covered,” Ben assured her, his eyes briefly flicking to you. “It helps to have good people around to keep me grounded.”
The conversation naturally shifted, as all eyes subtly turned toward you. It wasn’t sudden or forced, just a gentle pivot, like a tide rolling in.
Ben’s aunt leaned forward slightly, her expression curious but kind.
“So,” she began, her eyes twinkling with curiosity, “what’s it been like being with Ben? I mean, being with someone who’s on the road so much, always on tour. That’s gotta be… a lot on your shoulders too, sweetheart.”
Ben glanced at you, his expression softening in quiet encouragement as if to say, It’s okay, be honest.
“It definitely has its challenges,” you admitted. “There’s a lot of planning and juggling schedules, but honestly, it’s worth it. Ben has a way of making every moment feel important, even if we don’t get as much time together as we’d like. Quality time over the quantity of time, y'know?”
One of the uncles grinned knowingly, his voice teasing but kind. “Sounds like our Benny’s doing something right for a change.”
Ben rolled his eyes, but the corner of his mouth twitched in amusement. “You’re not wrong,” he quipped, earning a round of laughter from the group.
Another voice chimed in, tone pensive. “I can imagine it takes patience. And maybe even a little creativity? It's not like you can always go out or be public, goodness...”
You nodded, humming in agreeance. “Exactly. But it helps that he’s so passionate about what he does. It’s easy to root for someone when you see how much they love what they’re doing. And we're both good at making time for each other and communicating, it works out well.”
“She’s been good around here, huh?” one of the uncles said, gesturing toward you. “Lis, I don’t think we’ve seen you this relaxed in a long time.”
Lisa raised an eyebrow, looking mock-offended. “Excuse me, I am the epitome of relaxed all the time.”
Bryan, returning from the kitchen with a plate of s'mores for the kids, snorted. “Mmhmm, sure you are.”
Lisa waved him off but smiled warmly, her gaze landing on you. “She’s been a breath of fresh air, that’s for sure. I don’t know how Ben managed to talk her into coming down here to spend it with us, but I’m glad he did.”
Ben’s grandmother nodded in agreement, breaking into a gentle smile. “Me too,” she said, her voice soft but firm. “It’s been lovely having you here with us. How’s it been, spending the holidays with all of us? We can be a little… energetic.”
The warmth in the room was palpable, and you felt your cheeks heat at the attention. “Thank you,” you said, your voice earnest. “It’s been incredible. I think I’ve been smiling nonstop since I got here. Everyone’s been so welcoming, it really feels like being part of something special.”
A ripple of murmured appreciation and smiles went around the room, and one of Ben’s uncles, seated with a glass of cider in hand, grinned broadly. “Well, that’s good to hear. We don’t exactly do quiet, but we do a whole lotta love.”
“It shows,” you replied, a genuine smile on your face. “It’s a good kind of chaos. It’s been easy to feel at home.”
The kids erupted into another round of laughter, their voices catching the attention of the room as one tried to mimic the Grinch’s dramatic sly walk, much to the delight of the other children. Their antics drew the group’s attention for a moment, lightening the mood even further.
Ben's hand found its way to your shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. His voice filled with pride but just above a whisper. “You okay?” His gaze held yours, steady and sincere.
You turned to him, your smile growing softer. “Yeah,” you said quietly, just for him. “Better than okay.”
He smiled that private little grin that was just for you, and gave your shoulder another reassuring squeeze and a pressing kiss to your temple before turning back to the room. His arm stayed where it was, a silent claim and sign of pride.
As the conversation dropped into a story time of some incident earlier this month you took a moment or two to just sit there surrounded by laughter, chatter, and warmth, feeling entirely at peace. It wasn’t just Ben, it was the family, the energy, and the way they opened their home and hearts to you. You glanced at him again, finding him already looking at you, and you couldn’t help but think, this feels like home.
The room quieted slightly as the conversation dwindled down, which prompted Bryan to stand and clap his hands once, the sound cutting through the chatter. “Alright, everyone, settle down, I think it’s Secret Santa time!”
The announcement was met with cheers, laughter, and some playful groans from the kids, who had long forgone the Grinch and were more interested in a game of play-fighting each other and bouncing on the couch. Lisa emerged from the kitchen with a tray of hot cocoa for the younger ones, while the adults pulled their chairs closer into a semi-circle around the Christmas tree.
“Okay,” Bryan started, grabbing a gift and reading the tag, “this one’s for… Em!”
Emma squealed in delight and scrambled forward, nearly tripping over one of the little cousins who stuck themselves out last minute. She took the neatly wrapped gift from Bryan’s hands, plopped down cross-legged in front of the tree, and tore into it with dramatic flair.
“Oh my gosh!” she shrieked, holding up a beautiful matching outdoor all-weather jacket set, one for her and Halo, alongside a bracelet and dog collar. The colours complemented Halo’s coat perfectly, and there was even a little charm engraved with Halo’s name. “This is so cute, all I put on my wishlist was somethin' for me 'n Halo, who did this?”
You raised your hand a little shy. “That’d be me.”
Emma’s pout was instant and exaggerated, but her eyes sparkled. “You! You’re too good at this!” She bolted up, practically leaping at you as she enveloped you in a tight hug. Her lips pressed a loud, playful kiss to your cheek before she pulled back. “Seriously, this is the best. Thank you!” She immediately began calling Halo over to try on his new gift, beaming with excitement.
Bryan reached for the next present, his grin wide. “Alright, next up… this one’s for Ben.”
Ben took the box with an exaggerated bow, earning laughter and applause. He made a show of shaking it next to his ear, grinning mischievously. “Hmm, feels important,” he teased, glancing at you like you might give something away.
“Just open it, drama king,” Emma called, rolling her eyes.
Ben tore the wrapping away, revealing a sleek black journal and a beautifully designed scratch-off world map. His smile softened as he turned the journal over in his hands, fingers grazing the cover. “This is perfect,” he said, his voice quieter now. He looked around the room, his expression genuinely touched. “I’ve been wanting something like this, I'll do a review on tour and write it down. Thank you, secret Santa.”
“You're welcome,” Lisa admitted, raising her hand with a proud smile. “I figured you could use it for your next season. Better than the normal bunch I get you.”
Ben crossed the room in a few strides, leaning down to kiss his mom on the cheek. “You nailed it,” he said, his gratitude evident.
The next few rounds brought a mix of hilarity and sentimentality. One uncle unwrapped a set of novelty socks featuring flamingos in Santa hats, which sent the room into fits of laughter. An older cousin received a set of gourmet spice blends for their newly discovered love of cooking. One of the younger kids was delighted with a jellycat plushie and various popular blind-boxes, which they immediately hugged to their chest.
Finally, Bryan reached for the gift labelled with your name. “This one’s for you,” he said, handing it over with a grin.
You took the gift, noticing the impeccable wrapping job. “Someone had this done professionally,” you teased, shaking the box gently before pulling at the tape. The room watched eagerly as you opened it, revealing a beautifully curated gift set: an engraved charm bracelet and a luxurious throw blanket in your favourite colour.
“Wow,” you murmured, touched by the thoughtfulness. You glanced up after a few seconds, your eyes scanning the room until they landed on Bryan, who was sitting suspiciously still, legs crossed, a smile tugging at his lips as he tried to cover his mouth from giving him away.
“Bryan!” you exclaimed, laughing as you stood. His wide grin gave him away immediately. "Terrible poker face."
“Guilty,” he admitted, rising to meet your hug. His arms wrapped warmly around you, and he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “Glad you like it.”
“Like it? I love it!” you said, squeezing him back before sitting down again.
As the gifts continued to be opened, the room filled with laughter and joy. Lisa’s gift, a handmade quilt stitched with everyone’s names, earned her a round of applause, while Ben’s grandmother unwrapped a stunning piece of holiday artwork for her mantle, bringing tears to her eyes.
By the time the final gift was opened, everyone was either laughing, hugging, or marvelling at the thoughtfulness of the night, not one present unappreciated. It was pure magic, exactly the kind of warmth and connection that made this holiday unforgettable.
It wasn't long before the well-loved karaoke machine turned into the centrepiece of the late evening. After the initial warm-up of Feliz Navidad with you, Ben, and Emma leading the mission to get everyone in the mood, the night unfolded with a lively lineup of songs. Bryan’s spirited Jingle Bell Rock performance had everyone laughing and clapping, his dramatic hip wiggles earning him a standing ovation from the kids. Lisa’s O Holy Night was a showstopper; her voice soared so beautifully that even the little ones paused their antics to listen momentarily.
The room erupted into applause when she finished, with Bryan dramatically wiping away a fake tear and declaring, “That’s my wife!”
Throughout it all the kids, despite their sugar highs, began to wear down with a sugar crash. One by one, they started curling up on couches, leaning against older cousins, or lying on the plush carpet in front of the tree. Ben surprised everyone with a charmingly off-key rendition of Last Christmas, dedicating it to you while his family howled in laughter when he purposefully butchered the high notes.
“Don’t quit your day job, son,” Bryan teased, throwing a decorative pillow at him.
“Oh, I think I nailed it,” Ben shot back, winking at you as he handed the microphone off to the next brave soul.
You even found yourself roped into a duet with Emma, an upbeat version of Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree, earning a cheer when you both ended with exaggerated bows and somehow, tinsel garlands around your necks like scarves. The energy in the room shifted to a more relaxed hum as the night wore on. Conversations grew quieter, and laughter turned softer as the clock ticked closer to midnight.
By the time the last notes of karaoke faded, the practical task of winding down the house began. Air mattresses were pulled from closets and inflated in the living room for the family staying over. Emma tossed pillows and blankets onto each one, laughing when Ben dropped onto one mattress dramatically, testing its bounce like a kid.
“Ben, you’re gonna pop that thing!” Lisa called from the kitchen, her voice holding a mix of amusement and warning.
The others slowly began to filter out, gathering their coats and wishing everyone a cheerful goodnight and a Merry Christmas. Hugs were exchanged at the door, the promise of seeing each other bright and early the next morning lingering in the air.
The house finally quieted as only the immediate family remained on their feet.
Together, you, Ben, Lisa, Bryan, and Emma tackled the cleanup. Dishes clinked in the sink as Bryan dried them off while Lisa packed leftovers into tupperware with precision. You and Emma worked side by side, wiping down the counters and collecting the last of the wrapping paper scattered near the tree.
“Teamwork makes the dream work,” Emma quipped, passing you another wet cloth.
Ben appeared behind you, reaching for the glasses you’d just dried. “Or at least keeps us from being here until morning,” he added, flashing you a quick grin.
As the final crumbs were swept and the house was put back in order, you found yourself in the kitchen with Ben. He leaned against the counter, his phone in hand, its faint glow casting a soft light across his face. When he caught a glimpse of you, his brows unfurrowed as he quickly tucked his phone back into his pocket.
“Caught you,” you teased, stepping closer. “Being sneaky again?”
“Maybe... just trust me, alright? You’ll see soon enough.”
You tilted your head, pretending to scrutinize him. “You’re lucky tonight was perfect, or I might press you for answers.”
“Perfect, huh?” He pushed off the counter and closed the space between you, his hands brushing yours before settling gently on your waist. “So, my crazy family didn’t scare you off?”
“Not even close,” you murmured, smiling up at him. “They’re wonderful. Tonight was… everything.”
His eyes softened, and he leaned down, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead. “I’m so glad you’re here with me.”
The clock above the stove caught your eye as it ticked past midnight. A small laugh escaped you. “Ben,” you said, nudging him gently, “it’s officially Christmas!”
He caught a glimpse of the clock, his eyes wide as a smile broke out on his face.
“Merry Christmas,” you mumbled before the moment could pass, he leaned down and kissed you, a soft, unhurried kiss that made the world outside of this moment melt away.
When you finally pulled back, his forehead rested gently against yours, his hand cradling your face, breath warm as it mingled with yours. For a moment, neither of you said anything, the hum of the dishwasher and the faint creak of the settling house the only sounds around you.
His hands slid down to yours, fingers intertwining as he pulled back just enough to look into your eyes. “Thank you,” he murmured, his voice low and sincere. “For being here. For everything.”
You smiled softly, giving his hands a gentle squeeze. “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”
The warmth between you was all-encompassing, as though the world had shrunk down to just this kitchen, just this moment. The kitchen remained as the heart of the home, and your heart was here, holding you in his arms, eyes boring into yours with an immeasurable amount of love for you. His thumb brushed across your knuckles as his lips curved into a quiet, contented smile.
From the living room, a faint rustle sounded as Emma and Lisa talked their quiet laughter a reminder of the family still tucked away nearby. The twinkling Christmas lights cast a soft glow over the house, and in the stillness, everything felt whole.
Ben leaned in again, pressing another kiss to your forehead, his voice barely above a whisper. “Merry Christmas,” he said once more, as though savouring the words.
“Merry Christmas,” you echoed, the words wrapping around you both like a blanket. Together, you stood there a moment longer, letting the night settle into your hearts before finally, hand in hand, you turned off the last of the lights and let the warmth of the day carry you both forward.
---
hm. what a weird way to end...right?...
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entry no. 1
there’s something inherently grotesque about love. it’s not the soft, pastel-colored thing hallmark would have you believe. love is sharp teeth and bloodied hands. it’s hunger—actual, visceral hunger.
we “devour” each other with our eyes. we “consume” each other’s attention. we talk about “aching” for someone, about feeling “empty” without them. love songs croon about addiction and obsession, about needing someone like a junkie needs a fix. calvin harris and the disciples literally sang, “i want you to breathe me in, let me be your air.” love demands consumption, down to the bare bone.
the cultural shorthand is clear: desire is hunger. and hunger—real hunger—has always had a dark edge. maybe that’s why the cannibal keeps showing up in our stories about love. hannibal lecter and clarice starling’s hypnotic dance of intellect and temptation. armie hammer’s scandal that felt like the logical end point of his sexy, “aristocratic” image. netflix’s fresh, where sebastian stan plays a charming man who dates women only to harvest their flesh. and let’s not forget our beloved twilight—edward cullen, sparkling like a disco ball, warning bella, “you’re like my own personal brand of heroin.”
what is love if not the urge to consume? the desire to take someone so deeply into yourself that they become a part of you—biologically, spiritually, metaphorically. and what is heartbreak if not hunger pangs when that person is gone?
cannibalism makes an excellent metaphor because it’s all about boundaries—or the lack thereof. loving someone means letting them in, letting them get so close that the lines between you start to blur. but what happens when that intimacy turns dangerous? when the hunger isn’t mutual? when one person is the predator and the other is the prey?
jeffrey dahmer didn’t kill people because he hated them. he killed them because he couldn’t bear to be alone. he wanted to keep them close, permanently. it’s completely horrifying, yes, but also tragically relatable. anyone who’s stayed up all night rereading texts from an ex, anyone who’s memorized someone’s spotify playlists just to feel connected—congratulations, you’re already halfway to dahmer’s basement.
romeo and juliet, the classic tale of doomed romance, hinges on mutual destruction. they consume each other until there’s nothing left, literal poison sealing the deal. it’s the same story in wuthering heights. heathcliff doesn’t just love cathy; he wants to haunt her. when she dies, he famously cries out, “be with me always—take any form—drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss where i cannot find you!” romantic? sure. but it’s also deeply unhinged.
maybe that’s why vampires, zombies, and other flesh-eaters keep showing up as metaphors for desire. they’re embodiments of hunger without limits, love without boundaries. they remind us that intimacy is inherently risky. to love someone is to hand them a knife and hope they don’t use it.
but the truth is, we want them to use it—just a little. we want the vulnerability, the ache, the bite. we want to be consumed. after all, what’s the alternative? to be alone? to keep your heart under glass, untouched and pristine? no one writes sonnets about that. no one makes movies about lovers who stay politely detached.
maybe cannibalism is the perfect metaphor for love. it’s a bit unsettling, sure, but so is the way we talk about relationships. soulmates. twin flames. two halves of a whole. it’s all just a pretty way of saying: i want you inside me. not just physically, but spiritually. i want to know you so deeply that the distinction between me and you dissolves.
and isn’t that a little terrifying? isn’t that what keeps us awake at night? the knowledge that love will either complete us—or consume us whole.
so eat your heart out. or let someone else do it. either way, bon appétit.
#dark academia#writing#writings#female writers#essay#personal essay#essay writing#my writing#writers on tumblr#literature#lit#girlblogging#girlblog#female hysteria#dark feminine#hell is a teenage girl#love
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@unblemisheddesertflower || [ cont. ]
Nico's expression settled into an uncertain grimace, nose slightly wrinkled and a corner of his mouth pinched back. He couldn't tell if the woman was pulling his leg or actually serious, but either way, he still thought his assessment was correct. There were different kinds of weird after all, and at least this shopkeeper was a cool weird.
"That's her name?" he asked, eyes widening slightly as she got the answer correct right away. "She looked like she thought I was going to steal something the whole time I was there and had me empty out my pockets before I left. What's her deal?"
Nico didn't miss the way her story suddenly stopped before she said whatever juicy details she had about Ann. From the way she described the sewing store owner, that only bolstered Nico's opinion of her though.
Shaking his head at the question, his eyes flicked to the window as if checking for something. "No, I don't need a phone." Which was to say that a phone could only really make things worse, and then the lady might see some really weird stuff.
"Is there a place to eat nearby?" he asked instead.
#☠ ▌ great need to take a nap ( queue. )#☠ ▌ pulling the strings ( ooc. )#unblemisheddesertflower#not like other weirdos#this is excellent i already love these two
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mothafuckin' tanks bitch!!!! 💥👊💥
redraw of photo under the cut
#critical role#bells hells#deni$e#denise bembachula#orym#orym of the air ashari#ashton greymoore#deni$e bembachula#cr3#I LOVE THESE THREE#orym & the two barbarians that are so so charmed by him#all their interactions have been excellent#that conversation between orym & deni$e is living in my head rent free#and ofc 20 ep later still thinking abt ep 40 boat conversation#pls reach out orym....or ashton check on him :((#they've been nonstop i feel like team wildemount had like. a lil more of a chance to talk abt their feelings and stuff before uthodurn#anyway realizing there is a likelihood that when they finally scry they will just see chetney stealing#cause they only have stuff that links to him & if it's during the whole thing with umudara (sp?) then he is not with the group LOL#we'll see ! cause i'm sure matt is keeping track of the days and how they're lining up#anyway this is my long-winded way of saying i want it to be thursday already#feel bad that i'm more pumped for this group than i was for wildemount...but look#two out of three of my faves are here. the ship i'm routing for is together. the guests are all my brands (and AMIEE).#there's also no background wondering how the other group is doing and once this is done we're back to the full group#and ALSO high likelihood that hishari stuff will show up....and i have been WAITING#HISHARI I LOVE U#i have so many thoughts swimming in my brian this is where i release them#GOD OK AND ORYM THOUGHTS. SO MANY ABT HIM I AM SEEING MORE PARALLELS BETWEEN HIM & ASHTON THEY NEED TO TALK.#AND ASHTON ALMOST START /THE CONVERSATION/ THEY'VE BEEN AVOIDING ABT THE HISHARI BUT QUICKLY STOPPED#GIRL TALK TO HIM !!!!!!!!!#OK if you read all this thank you i love u byeeeeee
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maybe you should doodle however many or few starcon/helix/damned characters as you like (in human or alien form) in cute halloween costumes! imagine... ZEX dressed up as Ariel thelittlemermaid...
Day 26 - "I hadn't realized humans also had aquatic subcultures!" "Oh, well, uhm..."
#My art#Requestober#SCII#Damned#DAX#ZEX#The Captain#You can't tempt me like this I'm too weak to it agh#I am sorely convinced that with a Slightly longer time frame to work on this I would've gone with my first idea#It was way overly-ambitious for a less-than-24-hour time limit but hhghhh I /do/ want to draw everyone in cute costumes!!!#Super doesn't help that I very broke my sleep schedule and like as soon as this came in I fell asleep for three hours lol#And was still tired!!! That's just not fair says I#But I still managed >:3c Because I limited my scope haha but that's important too!! And it still turned out cute!!!#I mean how couldn't it - ZEX as The Little Mermaid is just-#I'm enamoured it's so perfect for him..........what an excellent idea...........definitely not going to be thinking about this for A While#Funnily enough my immediate thought was actually angst haha - the mermaid has to give up her voice! What would ZEX give up?#That he hasn't already anyhow - and then thoughts of reviving Zelnick but selfishly I just hhghgh I love himm I love themmmm#For now the cutes tho!!!!#It tickles me so bad that a significant portion of Damned takes place in October hehe <3 ZEX arrived in November but still!#And then the Halloween event to get their canon outfits back fjdskalfjd ahhh!!!#I'm many many years too late lol but there's something very lovely about the theme continuing ahh <3 <3#Oh yeah and there's also two others in costume here lol - the Captain's was easy haha <3 Dashing prince! He suits it ♪#For DAX lol at first I considered Triton? But he's not quite That bad about ZEX's human infatuation#Not that he's as admissive or manipulative as Ursula either - at some point it might've just become ''I want to see him in it'' lol#He's so happy about it haha <3#Can you tell I had fun with ZEX's costume lol - sparklies!!! Had fun with the glitter on his shoes :D#I Will find a place to use my scale brush anywhere and everywhere and that's a threat#I wonder what ZEX would think of human animation haha - I only remember there being one movie night at the Institute!#Surely Disney would get the greenlight to be played in the Sun Room! ZEX having a transcendent ''seen'' experience aw <3
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Man I love Omori and Steven Universe, on tge first watch/playthrough it’s all fun and games but on the second time around you see that foreshadowing is everywhere and it feels like being stabbed. No other piece of media does it like them.
#steven universe#omori#su#omori has an excellent plot twist that I feel bad talking about because there’s nothing like a blind playthrough#but steven universe I’m ok with discussing so uh#su spoilers#it’s not pink diamond I’m talking about it’s steven’s trauma#every time he gets hurt is another fracture line in future#every time he offers to help someone is another moment of anxiety later#and you’re powerless to stop him from hurting himself because it’s already done#the story is over#no matter how many times you rewatch again and again it will go down the same#steven will be an innocent little kid who just wants to help out the gems#only for episodes like the test to roll around and you see him taking on the role of family therapist when he’s literally just a kid#and empire city was once an episode of a kid bringing his two caretakers on vacation because he loves them and wants to spend time together#but now it’s an episode of a boy trying to fix problems he shouldn’t have to worry about because he Solves Problems#and it’s just…#he’s hurting himself and there’s nothing I can do#and there’s nothing the people around him would do anyway because he’s Steven and Steven Loves To Help#so why would they#and in the end#Steven gets hurt#and the story doesn’t change
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sapphic racer rivals to lovers
#one of them used to be a formula 1 pilot. but she came out as trans and the mainstream community said lol no thanks#and her parents also disowned her (i mean she had to be rich to get to formula1 in the first place) so now she's trying to get into#street racing to earn money and do what she loves and knows#and the reigning champion is a guy who's all mysterious and everyone says is really stuck up#but it turns out the guy's just a woman as well who's trying to defend her hard fought position#and then they race and try to win over the other but ultimately they realize that they make a good team#and why pit two bad bitches against each other.#and i don't know enough about street racing or cars/motors in general to get to a decent conclusion.#but that's the generic idea which i'm sure someone had already written#but ideas are cheap and execution is everything and it's not like i'll actually type this out properly#anyway who knew formula1 is actually soap opera for men! the political intrigue today on the hungarian prix was excellent#miaing
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watching Bill and Ted for the first time, cannot wait. I've heard good things about this movie
#cheese rambles#bill and ted#bill and teds excellent adventure#im in a minute in and i already love these two
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my love @kareenvorbarra tagged me to share 5 books read since September that I have loved.
Clarimonde (La Morte Amoureuse), Téophile Gautier -- I don't have a single criticism to make about this book :) A wonderful read, I especially loved the execution of the part where the protagonist doesn't know which life is real and which is a dream. I listened to the old Brazilian Portuguese translation available on the Conto um Conto podcast feed and thought it was excellent, e uma amiga leu a belíssima edição da editora Wish e também elogiou bastante -- fica a dica pros lusófonos daqui :)
Le Cycle de la Belle Dame sans Mercy, David Hult & Joan McRae -- It's an anthology of poems and/or contemporary literary endeavors related to La Belle Dame sans Mercy (Alain Chartier), and it's very interesting, and a lot of fun to read, even if sometimes one can't help the exasperation at how much our titular character has to go through for the crime of... being the object of an extremely insistent suitor's obsession :P It's really interesting to see the ways in which many different readers reacted to it though, and a nice contrast to the Roman de la rose that I had just finished. And the poetry itself is lovely -- I wish there was audio or video available of someone reading it out loud, but if there is, I can't seem to find it :'(
Antes do Baile Verde, Lygia Fagundes Telles -- A collection of short stories, I think most of them are available individually in English but the collection itself doesn't seem to have ever been translated into this language. I recently got obsessed with The Hunt (one of the stories), and after listening to every single recording of it I could find, I decided to read it for myself, and ended up reading the whole book, and it's really excellent, I love the way she builds and holds (and almost never resolves) the tension... One of my favorite short story writers ^^
Vita Nostra, Marina and Sergey Dyachenko -- I LOOOOOVED this book, so much that I do not know how to talk about it. I loved it and I haven't stopped thinking about it since I finished reading it. I am on the verge of rereading it though I know I should wait longer... Anyway if anyone has read insightful conversation/reviews of this book that go beyond praising it, please let me know, I'm very interested!
The Obelisk Gate, N.K. Jemisin -- It's such a wonderful experience to read an author who has both a vision and the technical skill to pull it off! My favorite thing about this specific volume were the visuals, I really think they were incredible. I have already forgotten parts of the plot, but I think I remember vividly every single scene with a stone-eater. I'm also sooo pleased by the way she looks at greater social power structures! Been A WHILE since I read original setting fantasy with an actual spine. TBH I was 100% burned out on that specific genre for a while and The Fifth Season is what brought me back. On the side of things I didn't like, there are a couple (that "magic" vocabulary scene was genuinely cringe imo...), but mostly I wish there was more commonplace tenderness, both in-narrative and on a meta level. If it wasn't for Hoa as a narrative element, this book would be unreadable (to me ofc).
Tag uuuh @ourlightsinvain @imindhowwelayinjune @thelioninmybed @bamboocounting @vardasvapors @anghraine @yavieriel @medievalcat @seagodofmagic @hadrianspaywall @nelyafinwe (are you in the room with us giulia...) @hoeratius & anyone else who feels like doing it :)
#I wrote and deleted two other books bc I kept forgetting this was only about books I loved#:p#i also tried to avoid rereads of books i already liked#runner up: i am the monster who speaks to you by paul b. preciado#just listened to the original talk on youtube the other day#it's excellent#but idk if it's available in eng#meme#realizing i haven't read a lot of non-fiction lately
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youtube
btw on danny abosch's youtube channel he's posted a Sped Up and a Slowed Down version of every goosebumps the musical track, each of which i have already contributed at least one view to since discovering this just the other night
#and of course instrumental versions of all [not already instrumentals] songs; and the regular versions....#and some behind the scenes/bonus videos; edits created for the social media accounts; the ongoing easter eggs live premiere series....#sure have done a full Regular Versions relisten or two in the past [as many weeks]#oh also the ofc bonus youtube lore that you're entirely allowed to use the songs for your own edits and such#in that youtube will Detect the copyrighted material but it's also noted as [but you're allowed to use it] situation#which; i'm also close to throwing together loosier goosier quasianimatics for Snippets of songs i especially visualize#like that what i've always been really gearing up to is the whole [strange as you may find it] section of Whodunit?#so; with an additional wrench in the already overly ambitious [but do the entire song] sure considering doing that bit directly#and a section of the zeke n brooke exchanges in A Super Scary Play are also particularly consistently visualized by myself lol#what are all the possible tags out here....the people need to know#goosebumps the musical#gtmpota#goosebumps the musical phantom of the auditorium#gtm:pota#goosebumps the musical: phantom of the auditorium#also love Understudy Buddy out here. love Every song. increasingly. noskips fire every time i pull up that playlist#also delighted by the physical gtmpota merch on their extremely excellent site (ft lyrics; synopses....we're so blessed)#like putting together an entire outfit. pausing my gtmpota puzzle solving while in my gtmpota joggers; tanktop; sweater; blanket to take a#sip from my gtmpota mug and put on the gtmpota cd etc and so forth#Youtube
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I know Rick has decided that Percy will be perpetually 17, but I do love thinking about how old Percy would be right now according to his birth year--1993. He and Annabeth are in their thirties now, they've both graduated from university. Annabeth is the biggest name on the architecture scene and Percy has found a career in something he excels at and loves (perhaps marine biology, but in my personal headcanon, being a social worker for kids from bad situations). They still catch up with Grover and their many demigod friends often and enjoy the relative peace and quiet with all the prophecies falling onto the next generation of demigods.
They've got a little apartment with their wedding photos on the walls and weapons ready on the sideboard just in case any monster foolishly dares to attack the greatest demigods of all time. They volunteer at Camp Half Blood throughout the year as mentors and trainers, and Annabeth is helping to design an extension to make the camp a city for demigods like New Rome. Young demigods revere them as even more amazing than their own godly parents, but Mr. D always complains that the two are still just as rowdy and mischievous as they were when they were kids. Maybe they have already have a kiddo themselves or plans to have one soon.
Guys, they are living their happily ever after right now. It makes me so happy.
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wanna be yours // ln4
pairing: lando norris X american!reader / mclaren photographer!reader
word count: 18k (listen.... i couldn't stop so get a snack bc it's a long one)
warnings: cursing, alcohol use, smut (18+) (oral, p in v, no protection, praise kink, edging, and choking)
includes: heavy mutual pining and jealousy, asshole!lando, clueless lando and reader, a little lando X oscar X reader bff trio, friends to enemies to ???, and time manipulation ( idk wtf to call it i just changed the creation date of lando.jpg lmao)
summary: you're the mclaren f1 team photographer and lando can't help but get jealous at your friendship with logan sargeant.
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Not many people in the world get to do what they love as a career. It was something you were grateful for everyday. If you were being honest, you never saw yourself being a sports photographer. After graduating high school you had your eyes set on more editorial work, but it didn't take long for you to figure out that it wasn't for you. Years had passed and then an opportunity arose for a job working with IndyCar. You sent in your portfolio and somehow you got the job. That one on a whim decision changed your life forever.
People were insanely impressed with your skills, considering you had never done sports photography before, let alone motorsports. You had made some connections with people while working the job and somehow got connected with someone on the McLaren Formula One team. McLaren liked what they saw, and after a handful of emails, some serious debating, and support from your family; you had made the leap. Now here you are in your second year as McLaren's F1 team photographer.
Oscar and you joined McLaren the same year and the two of you clicked instantly, bonding over being newcomers to the team. It took about a three months for Lando to warm up to you, but once he did, look out. The three of you were never far from each other during race week. Some of the older drivers liked to call you three 'the triplets' because you were always in tow of one another.
You had made another new friend recently, Logan Sargeant. He joined F1 the same year started with McLaren, but you hadn't really made that many friends outside Oscar and Lando besides a couple other drivers. That changed at the beginning of this season. The two of you had started to be more friendly, and it didn't take long for a connection to form. It was nice to have someone that reminded you of home around, even if you guys were from two completely different states.
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Monza
The Italian Grand Prix had just ended and Lando had made podium, placing P2 to be exact. As you stood there waiting for him to get out of the car you snapped a couple pictures making sure your settings were correct. The buzz in the air after Lando or Oscar made podium was something you still hadn't gotten used to. It was electric; from the cheers and chants from the fans, to hollering from the team as he exited the vehicle. You snapped a few photos as he greeted the team, a small bounce in his step proved he was more than ecstatic about his placement. It was a tough race, everyone had brought their A game today, drivers and cars included. So it was fair to say P2 was an excellent spot to be in, even if you would have loved to see him on that top spot.
His helmet and balaclava were off and you knew he was coming your way, so you readied your camera in his direction. Looking through the viewfinder you saw the giant smile that erupted on his face when he saw you and you couldn't help but to reciprocate one as equally as big back to him as you snapped away. One last one was taken of him with two fingers up indicating the second place he had just achieved. As you lowered your camera his arms were already indicating your invitation into them. Your arms wrapped around his torso, something that was just muscle memory to you at this point.
"That was one hell of a race. Congrats Lan." He had you wrapped so tight in his embrace that your words were mumbled against his shoulder, but he understood you just fine.
"Hmm. Thank you love." The term of endearment raised goosebumps on your arms. And as you pulled away from the hug his touch lingered for longer than it should have, something you clocked immediately.
To say you and Lando had a different friendship was an understatement. In fact, you didn't know of any other driver and their team photographer to have a relationship like Lando and you. About six months into your first year with McLaren you had developed a tiny crush on Lando and for the longest time you thought he possibly may have liked you back.
The fact that he was always touching you was one of your first inklings. If it was possible, the Brit was always in close proximity to you. If you were sitting next to each other, your knees were touching or his arm was behind you. Not to mention his lingering touches, hugs lasting longer than they should, his hands lingering on your waist, his fingers grazing you as he passed by. The way he acted with you was far from professional, but you weren't complaining.
Your second inkling was the gift giving. How many people can say their co-worker got them a Cartier bracelet for Christmas? None that you could think of. It wasn't even just expensive things that he would get you. If you guys were at headquarters he would always bring you an iced coffee from the place down the road. You had mentioned once that you preferred their coffee to other places and to your surprise Lando showed up the next day with one in hand for you. Or just even the fact that when you're with Lando, doing anything, he pays. Doesn't matter what it is, he's there with his card in hand, ignoring your pleas to let you pay for once.
The terms of endearment Lando used towards you had also made you wonder if he felt more than friendly feelings. The term 'love' was used quite often, along with 'beautiful'. Both terms surely in violation of HR, but Lando didn't seem to care as he said both freely with no concern of who heard him. And each time he did you tried to hide the blush that would creep onto your cheeks or try not to let him detect how fast your heart was beating when he had you in his arms.
So, to say Lando Norris had you smitten over him was an understatement, but you never acted on that crush for two reasons. One; you didn't want to risk your job, you were sure HR would have a conniption fit if a relationship ever developed between the two of you. You were surprised you hadn't gotten a talking to by PR at least for how you guys acted sometimes during race weeks.
Second; you never truly knew how he felt. Lando Norris liked to mess with your head. In all honesty he probably didn't know that he was, you had never expressed how you felt about him, he had no obligations towards you. But to have him act like he does with you and then that same day see him on Twitter leaving a club with some girl was undoubtedly going to fuck with your head..
After the third or fourth time of waking up to news about who Lando was hooking up with, you knew it was time for your crush to go away. He clearly wasn't interested in you and you were never one to admit your feelings first. So, those feelings got tucked away into a little corner in your brain, locked away, to hopefully never be opened again. Not wanting to lose Lando entirely (and your job), you accepted that you guys were just friends. That he was just one of those people who were naturally flirty, and that maybe you shouldn't take his words and actions to heart. Telling yourself that he wouldn't even be interested in someone like you when he had so many ethereal breathtaking women at his fingertips. And it worked, until he would let his hands lingered after a hug or a term of endearment slipped past his lips. His mindless actions jiggling the door knob to those locked away feelings in your brain.
As he took the podium your cheesy grin had returned as you snapped some more pictures. He really did look amazing up there and no matter what you felt or still feel about him you were always going to be proud of him. He was one of your best friends and as long as you were concerned, nothing was going to change that. The champagne went flying minutes later and more pictures were taken. The celebration continued for a while and as the drivers did their press interviews you made your way back to the hotel to start editing and picking the final pictures to be used on social media.
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Lando had made it back to the hotel after finally finishing all his post race duties. He was satisfied with his placing today, sure he would have loved to have won, but everyone was cutthroat today, he just felt lucky enough to have made podium at all. Of course his night was far from over though, the celebrations had just only begun when the champagne was popped at the podium. He planned on having one hell of a night, he deserved it. And it was a no brainer to him that you would be there with him, any chance he got to spend with you, he took. After taking a shower he grabbed his phone to call you, and to no surprise you answered on the second ring.
Your melodic voice filled his ears, a smile tugging at his lips as he heard you speak. "Hello?"
The phone was on speaker as he dug through his suitcase, trying to find a shirt to wear. "We are going out in about an hour. You coming?"
A sigh echoed through the speaker. "I've got a lot of work to still do. You know I don't just take all these pictures for my own person pleasure."
He finally found a shirt and as he buttoned it he couldn't help but laugh at your words. "Oh really? I thought you just took all those pictures because you were obsessed with me.
You scoffed at his cockiness. "You wish Norris. Someone has to fix that face."
"Ouch. Don't talk about Oscar like that." He joked.
He wasn't there but he was sure that you had rolled your eyes at him. "Whatever. I have work to do." You stated. But Lando knew that wasn't true and that you were coming out tonight, you could never tell him no. If Lando was being honest with himself, he couldn't really tell you no either. If anything the two of you just liked to play cat and mouse.
Cologne wafted through his room as the conversation continued. "You're telling me, you would rather sit in your room all night editing pictures than going out with your favorite person and some of your other friends?"
You laughed at his choice of words. "My favorite person? I didn't know Logan was going?"
Logan.
Just hearing his name roll off your tongue put a sour taste in Lando's mouth. The two American's friendship being a sore subject to Lando as of recently.
He ignored you comment, the lightheartedness of the conversation had dissipated at the mention of the other male driver. "Be ready in thirty minutes. I'll come get you." He left no time for you to respond, already hanging up and tossing his phone on the bed.
Thirty minutes later he closed his door behind him and walked down the hall to your room. The both of you were on the same floor, but about ten rooms apart. A gentle knock was placed on the door and seconds later it opened. Lando felt his heartbeat quicken at the sight of you standing in the doorway. The skirt you were wearing was very short and as you turned around to grab your phone, he saw that your top that already had him staring from the front, was completely open in the back. This was not an outfit that he was used to seeing you in. Outside the usual McLaren gear you donned, you had a casual style, and when you had went clubbing or out before you had never worn anything this scandalous. He wasn't hating it though, in fact he was far from hating it.
"Eyes up here Norris." You stated as you joined him in the hallway.
He hadn't even realized he was staring, but when your words broke him out of his trance a blush crept onto his cheeks. Lando linked his arm with yours, leading you both towards the elevator. "Sorry for staring. You look beautiful tonight." Lando stated as he pressed the lobby button on the elevator. As the doors closed the smell of your perfume swarmed around him, it was almost intoxicating, combine that with how you looked tonight and his head was spinning.
You replied with a simple 'thanks' as you leaned against the elevator wall. He realized he may have made things awkward with his ogling, but god he couldn't help himself. The ding indicated their ride was over and as the two of them entered the lobby they were met with some of the other drivers standing in a group, undoubtedly waiting for them.
"Finally!" The Monegasque driver hollered.
You approached the group, a smile tugging at your lips. "Sorry boys. You know how Lando has to make sure he looks perfect."
The laughs that came from the guys was the last thing on Lando's mind, he was more concerned over how some of his competitors were looking at you. It was the same way he was looking at you merely minutes ago. His jaw clenched as he watched Charles hand get dangerously close to your back as he walked beside you. And as you got into one of the taxis with Charles and Carlos, he thought he might break a tooth from how hard he was biting down. As the taxi that was occupied with you and the two Ferrari drivers pulled away, Lando begrudgingly got into the next one with Oscar and George, already feeling like tonight wasn't going to plan out like he had hoped.
The music was deafening as Lando entered the club. You were nowhere in sight when he had arrived, so here he was on the hunt. He stopped by the bar, grabbing a shot of tequila for him and your favorite drink to give you when he found you. When he saw Charles off to the side of the room he figured he'd find you with him, but to his surprise Charles was stood there talking to some random guy, with no you in sight.
"Have you seen Y/N?" Lando felt like he was screaming, clubs were loud, he knew that, but this one just felt like it was on another level.
Charles shook his head. "The American stole her away from me! It was a shame, we were having a good time!"
The American. No guessing as to who that was. He stopped by the bar again, this time it was two tequila shots, the burn felt good as it slid down his throat. His eyes scanned the room, it was hard to see. Between the flashing lights, loud music, and bodies in every direction, he figured he'd never find you. Then just when he was about to give up he spotted you. Your back was to him, but he could see the tall blonde driver that was with you, his hands roaming your body as the two of them danced.
Lando tightened his grip on the glass as he watched the two of them and he couldn't help but think 'who the hell invited Logan?' The same hands that were on your body seconds ago now pointed at him, motioning for you to look back at Lando. A smile spread across your face as you realized who was standing there and as you walked over he felt his demeanor soften.
"I've been looking for-" Logan had now come up behind you, his hand resting on you shoulder, causing you to pause for a moment.
Lando's eyes flickered to Logan's hand on your shoulder, then back to you. Fucking ridiculous. He wanted to take Logan's hand and break it, make him not be able to race ever again and then he wouldn't be an issue again. His softened demeanor now long gone. "Here. Your favorite." He stated as he shoved the now watered down drink toward you.
You accepted the drink, but your smile was now gone as Lando turned on his heel to leave. You weren't sure what his deal was, but he on the other hand knew exactly what he was about ready to do.
He wasn't sure how many shots he had consumed by now, but god dammit he was a multi-million dollar F1 driver, who just got podium at the hardest race of the season so far. He was going to drink however much he wanted and no one, not even you were going to ruin his fun.
Lando made his way out to the dance floor and his eye caught the attention of some random girl. Perfect. The music pounded in his chest as the mystery girl and him were less than cordial in the middle of the swarm of bodies. The alcohol coursing through his veins only added to how he was feeling right now. It didn't take long for the random girl to be in tow behind him as they leave the club, for their lips to be on one anothers in the backseat of the taxi, and for his wandering hands to explore her body in the elevator. But what does take long is for him to get into his damn hotel room. He keeps trying and trying and the keycard will not work. He was getting impatient, the last thing he wanted to do was go back down to the lobby, he wanted to get into his room. Then he heard you voice.
"Lando?"
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
There was a cool breeze that whipped through the night air as you walked the streets of Monza. The liquor in your veins was the only thing keeping you warm, considering your less than modest outfit choice for the night.
"I'd give you my jacket if I had one." Logan stated as he walked next to you.
You flashed him a smile. "I'm fine really. It's not that bad out."
The two of you had decided to walk back to the hotel, it really wasn't that far of a walk from the club. Plus, you had wanted to soak up as much time in Italy as you could. As you walked you were thankful you didn't go crazy with the drinking tonight, the idea of walking in heels on these streets while plastered sounded horrible. If anything at this point you only had a slight buzz. You couldn't say the same for some of the other drivers who were undoubtedly still living it up at the club.
Light conversation was made between the two of you as you walked.
"Did you have a good time tonight?" You asked.
"I did. I'm glad you decided to come out too." Silence filled the space between the two of you for a moment before the driver spoke again. "Can I ask a question?"
Your heart skipped a beat. You hated when people asked that, just ask the damn question instead of making your mind run worst case scenario, but you simply replied. "Sure."
Logan scratched the back of his neck, like he was unsure if he should even ask the question. But just before you were about the tell him to spit it out, he spoke. "What's up with you and Lando?"
Glancing over at Logan you gave him a confused look. "What do you mean what's up with me and Lando?"
Your question made Logan stop walking. "Oh come on you know what I mean. Are you guys a thing?"
A genuine laugh came barreling out of you. "Me and Lando? Oh yeah and I'm a F1 driver." You had continued to walk, but Logan grabbed your hand pulling you back towards him.
"I'm serious Y/N."
The joking manner of the conversation was now suddenly gone. "Nothing is going on between me and Lando. Believe me." You groaned, Lando was the last thing you wanted to talk about right now, especially after his weird behavior in the club.
Logan's grip on your hand still lingered. "Doesn't seem like it."
You rolled your eyes at him, why did he have a sudden interest in Lando and you? "Logan. There is nothing going on between us. I really like my job and would like to not be fired. You don't think HR has some rules set in place or something? Plus I'm not even his type. I'm not a model or some ethereal woman from some foreign country." His grip on your hand had loosened enough for you to turn and continue walking. He still stood frozen for a moment, processing your words and when he realized how far you had gotten ahead of him he had to jog to catch up to you.
"You like him don't you?" He asked as he finally caught up with you. The little locked door in the back of your brain labeled Lando was bursting at the seams, but you did not want to unlock it tonight, especially to Logan. Thankfully you could see the hotel in the distance and you felt no need to answer Logan's prying question. "I'll get it out of you eventually." Logan stated as the two of you entered the elevator.
You just shook your head at your friend as you leaned your head against the elevator walls. The adrenaline from the eventful day was starting to wear off and the tiredness had set in. As the elevator doors opened you looked back at the tall blonde, holding your hand out to him. "You gonna walk me to my room or did I let you dance with me for no reason earlier?"
Logan's eyes widened as he hurried to your side. "Coming!"
You rested your head against his shoulder as the two of you walked down the hall. "I did really have a good time tonight. Thanks for spending it with me. Even if you did steal me from Charles."
"I think me taking you from Charles was more of a favor or dare I say a good deed." Logan joked.
Rounding the corner to your room you heard giggles and shhs. Logan and you exchanged questioning looks, wondering who was being naughty in the hallway. But as you finally made it into eyeshot of your door you stopped dead in your tracks.
It was Lando and some girl you had never seen before, making out against your door. You felt Logan's grip on you tighten as he forced your feet to move with his towards your room. As you got closer the two of them still had not broken apart, only until you spoke up.
"Lando?"
Lando's eyes turned into saucers when he saw it was you standing there, but as they shifted to the right of you, they narrowed at the sight of Logan with his arm still around your shoulder.
"What are you doing?" It was a rhetorical question, anyone knew what they were doing. As you stood there waiting for a response your eyes glanced over to the girl, she was definitely his type, no doubt about it. The longer you looked the more you had wished you guys would have taken a taxi so maybe you wouldn't have had to witness this.
"Well. I can't seem to get into my room." He fumbled with the key card, still clearly drunk. "Stupid key card won't work."
Your eyes moved back to Lando, a small sigh escaping past your lips as you glanced up at the room number by the door. "That's because you have the wrong room. This is my room, 710. Yours-" you pointed down the hall "is down there, 701."
Lando's mouth formed an O shape after realizing what he had done and the random girl and him erupted into a fit of giggles. You tried to hold back the eye roll that was so badly wanting to let go. "Sorry. Let's go.." Lando paused looking at the girl he had pinned to your door seconds ago.
Jesus christ. He didn't even know her name.
"Bella." The girl answered, not even phased at him not knowing her name.
"Right Bella. Let's go." Lando dragged the girl behind him towards his room. He let the girl go in first and before he passed through the doorway, he gave one last look back at you before slamming the door shut behind him.
A loud sigh escaped past your lips as you stood there, staring at the now empty hallway. You had no reason to be jealous, you knew that. There truly was nothing between Lando and you and tonight was a prime example of him showing you he had no interest in you. But dammit, you couldn't lie and say it didn't sting when you saw him with someone else. Even when you try to push away your feelings, try and bury them so deep that you tell yourself you're fine being friends, being colleagues, but you know deep down that the want for something more will always be there. You dug in your clutch for your key card, finally finding it you scanned it. The little light turned green, but as you placed your hand on the handle you hesitated. Your forehead leaning against the previously occupied door.
"I used to like him."
Logan only gave a slight hum as a reply and when you turned your head to look at him, you knew he knew. He gave you a small smile and quick hug before bidding you goodnight.
"Talk to you tomorrow?" You questioned.
"Of course." He stated as he made his way down the hall.
As you entered your room you flung your heels off and grabbed some pajamas. Your open laptop on the desk caught your attention, you could have swore you saved everything and put it up before leaving earlier. Worst case scenario ran through your head as you turned it on, you prayed all your work wasn't gone. As the screen came to life a picture of Lando popped up. It was one of him you had taken before qualifying the day before. He had a cheesy grin on his face and he held up a number 4 on his fingers, one of his signature poses. You saved the picture and put your laptop up before climbing into bed.
Unfortunately for you, sleep did not come easy that night. You couldn't stop thinking about Lando and that girl. You knew you should just let it go, god knows you've seen him with multiple other women, but tonight was the first time you saw it with your own two eyes, in person. The feeling of seeing it actually happen versus seeing it on Twitter was like night and day. When you saw pictures being spread around, sure it was annoying, but you could just get off your phone and suddenly it was gone. Tonight though, was different, the image forever engraved into your mind. Thinking back to standing in the hallway made your stomach turn, it felt like it had officially confirmed that the idea of the two of you ever being a thing was officially dead.
Yet here you were, tossing and turning in bed. Because tonight you had officially let all those locked away feelings out for the first time in forever. You weren't sure if it was seeing him with that girl that did it or just the hinges finally breaking on that door. You just let yourself fully feel, feel every emotion your brain threw at you. Anger, jealousy, sadness, love? Even though you knew the two of you had no chance, you couldn't help but want. You wanted to be the girl he had pinned against your hotel room door. You wanted to be the girl he kissed before and after his races. Fuck you just wanted to be the girl he loved. More tossing and turning ensued and you just couldn't get your mind to shut off. As you glanced over at the alarm clock on the nightstand the time read 4:04. A dry laugh echoed through the room. 'Fucking number four' you whispered to yourself.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
As Lando awoke the next morning he knew he had made some bad decisions last night. The pounding headache was proof of bad decision number one and the phone number sloppily written on a tissue on his nightstand was proof of number two. He was thankful the girl had left before he woke up, mornings after one night stands were never his strong suit.
His mind wandered to last night as he laid in bed. Perhaps he may have been a little overzealous with his actions. He couldn't help it though, the idea of you not being his drove him crazy. The thought that you was more interested in other guys, especially Logan, always seemed to make him make some not so great decisions. Last night was a great example.
Lando wasn't entirely sure when his feelings for you turned into more than friends. In fact, when he heard they were getting a new photographer he wasn't even that keen on getting to know you. Photographers came and went in this business and a lot of the times he felt like they got in way. Sometimes he just didn't want to have a damn camera in his face, but then he met you.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
February 2023
It was a formal setting, a team meeting before the start of the season. Of course the big topic was his new teammate Oscar, who he had met a couple months beforehand, along with the usual beginning of season talks. Towards the end of the meeting he had noticed a girl sitting in the corner of the room, he could tell she felt like she was out of place. He remembers thinking about how beautiful she was, but as he sat there he couldn't remember her from anywhere. Zak had already talked about who was new this season and Lando prided himself on knowing everyone on the team. So who was this mystery girl?
The meeting had finally ended and people were getting up to leave when Zak spoke up. "Oh yes. Sorry I forgot." He pointed towards the mystery girl. "Everyone this is the new team photographer. Y/N. Please make her feel welcome." Lando remembers a blush forming on your cheeks as you gave the room full of people a smile and small wave. As people filed out of the room Lando hung around, wanting to properly introduce himself to you. He noticed you were gathering your things to leave and he knew now was his window of opportunity.
You had bent down to pick up your bag and by the time you stood back up, there Lando stood, a smile tugging at his lips. You jumped a little, startled at the closeness of him. His smile finally broke free as he stuck out his hand for you to shake. "Sorry! Didn't mean to scare you. I'm Lando." As their hands touched he could have swore he felt the "sparks" that they talk about in the movies, his heart beat racing a little as he really took in all your beauty. Not to mention your perfume (that you still used today) that was making his head spin. "Welcome to McLaren." He was finally able to spit out.
"Thank you! I'm glad to be here."
Your accent made his ears perk up. "An American huh? What made you come all the way over here?"
The blush from when Zak introduced you had never really faded and when Lando mentioned your accent it just deepend. "Well, long story short. I used to work for IndyCar, made some connections with McLaren and now here I am."
Lando heard Zak calling his name from the hallway, he didn't want to end the conversation, but duty called. "Boss is hollering for me. It was lovely to meet you though. I'll see you around yeah?" He was trying not to sound like a douche while also trying not to seem overly enthusiastic. A simple 'see ya' came from your mouth as Lando walked out the door.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
For a about a month after that Lando played it cool. He watched you from a distance, watched as your friendship with Oscar formed. Watched as you did you work, something that he realized very early on that you were amazing at.
Around the three month mark Lando had decided that playing it cool was not his forte. He somewhat felt jealous as he watched his teammate and you joke around or when they would go get lunch without him when they were back at headquarters. Lando wanted to be the one you went to lunch with and joked with. He remembers a conversation Oscar and him had about you once.
It was an off week for racing and that meant a couple days were spent at Headquarters running the sim and creating content for social media. Oscar and you had came back from grabbing lunch. He watched them part ways and as Oscar came towards him Lando raised his eyebrows at him, giving him a questioning look.
"Oh don't even start. You know you can come with us." Oscar stated as he sat down.
"Well someone has to stay here and hold down the fort."
Oscar shook his head as he rolled his eyes at his older teammate, sometimes Lando's dramatics made him seem like the younger one. "Yeah I'm sure the hundreds of other people who work here can manage if Lando Norris leaves the building for an hour to go get lunch." Lando stayed silent, only crossing his arms over his chest as he stared back at Oscar. "You gonna finally fess up to why you've been acting so pissy lately?"
Lando scoffed at Oscar's question. "I just thought I would have gotten a lunch invitation by now."
"Literally told you, you can come with us. Y/N has even asked why you don't come with us." Oscar didn't let Lando respond to his comment. "Although, it is weird to me how distant you are with her. You like everyone on the team and I know you would like her too if you got to know her."
Lando shrugged, not exactly sure what to say back to his teammate. He didn't want to say, yes he knows he would like you, in fact the giant crush he has on you right now is making his stupid play cool decision eat away at his brain. The fact that even from only talking to you when necessary for work he's become enamored with you and your work. How you have a knack for capturing him in a way that no other photographer has before. How he thinks that if he lets himself become close to you that it may be bad for the both of them, but he wants to so bad. But he doesn't say any of that. All he says is.
"Well then let's all do lunch tomorrow."
The rest was history. After having lunch with you and Oscar the next day it seemed like you and him were inseparable. Looking back now Lando could have punched himself for not getting to know you better sooner.
As time went on his feelings grew stronger, but he was too scared to say anything. Too afraid to ruin the amazing friendship you guys had. Too afraid that if he opened his big mouth that things may be too awkward and you would leave your job and him. He had grown to love having a camera in his face, but only if you were the one taking the picture. And to think he might get that taken away just because of a crush destroyed him, so he kept his mouth shut.
It was fine for awhile, he would distract himself with random girls (who always somewhat resembled you) any chance he got. Something perhaps he shouldn't be proud of, but people already expected it from him. So why not live up to the playboy expectations? But he soon realized maybe his actions were hurting him more than helping him. When you started to become closer with some of the other drivers he thought perhaps he was pushing you away from him.
That was the last thing he wanted to do, so he thought maybe the best way to reel you back in was through your one true love; photography. Thus, lando.jpg was born. He wasn't going to lie, you truly had gotten him more interested in photography, but the instagram was started under false pretenses. The way his heart skipped a beat when he got a text from you about it was a little embarrassing to say the least.
you: do i need to break the news to zak that you are quitting racing to pursue photography or are you?
lando: nope. was just inspired by one of the best photographers i know.
you: oh so you're coming for my job?
lando: might need to post some content first before i go applying for jobs.
you: well i better be apart of your first post. considering i was the inspiration.
lando: wouldn't have it any other way.
And to no surprise there you were front and center on lando.jpg. Lando even made sure to make the caption "coming for her job". His sudden interest in photography had you around him more often, something he was beyond happy about. It had even escalated to the two of you hanging out, outside of work hours. As time passed it seemed like you two were just getting closer, but yet neither of you would admit your feelings for eachother.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
In Lando's mind he was content with how you were in his life at the moment, that was until a certain American driver entered yours. To give himself some credit, Lando had been pretty good with his actions lately, he hadn't been messing around with anyone for a good while now, but last night was the straw that broke the camel's back. He wasn't really sure if it was just Logan's actions last night or the fact that the Ferrari drivers couldn't have been more friendly with you either.
To Lando you were his and he never was good at sharing his toys as a child, so why should he have to share the girl he was obsessed with? His only problem though (that he could never seem to internalize) was that you weren't his. You were only his in his mind. And that's why he's lying here in this hotel room, alone, with just a headache and a phone number that will be thrown in the trash later.
He recalled the scene in the hallway last night. Sure he was drunk, but unfortunately not drunk enough to forget the whole thing. In his drunken defense he really did get the rooms mixed up, and maybe he would have eventually realized it. It was just his shit luck that you showed up, with Logan in tow. He remembered his stomach turning at the sight of Logan's arm around you. And now come morning he'd made himself nearly sick at the idea of Logan and you sharing a bed together last night, he wouldn't be surprised if you did though, he figured his actions probably drove you right into his arms.
Lando hadn't even realized what time it was until texts come rolling in asking where he was and how the car was going to leave without him.
Shit.
He had never packed his stuff up so fast in his life and as he walked out the door he knew he had probably forgot something. Speed walking was putting it politely, he was more like running down the hallway. He looked down for a split second to grab his phone out of his pocket and then suddenly he's barreling into something. That something turned out be someone, you to be exact. He hated to say it, but you were the last person he wanted to face this morning, considering their encounter in the hallway last night. But his fuck ups were casted aside as he crouched down to look at you.
"Fuck. I'm sorry. Are you okay?" He looked you over, he knew he was like a brick wall, so it had to have hurt when he ran into you.
You rubbed your arm as you looked up at him, his blue green eyes staring back at you with a worried expression on his face. "Goddamn Lando. Watch where you're going." You huffed.
He extended his hands out to help you up and offer you quickly accepted. "I know I'm sorry." He stated sheepishly.
Instead of helping you pick up you bags, Lando took the time to sneak a peek into your room. He wasn't sure what he thought he was going to find. Maybe a naked Logan still under your sheets from last night? But to his relief your room was empty, but he wasn't as quick with it as he thought.
"What are you doing?" You inquired.
His head snapped back to you, your eyebrows raised in question of his actions, your free hand on your hip.
"Just making sure you didn't forget anything." He mumbled out quickly.
An eye roll was all he got back from you as you turned on your heel. Suitcase and bags wheeling behind you down the hall. Lando quickly followed behind you, resembling a lost puppy. As the pair entered the lobby a handful of the other drivers were down there chatting, surely waiting for their cars to arrive. Lando gave some 'heys' as he walked past, there was no time to stop and chat. There were two cars waiting outside the hotel and Lando could see Oscar in the first one. Of course he was already in the car and waiting thought Lando. It was rare for them to all be leaving together. Most of the time they just went their separate ways after a race weekend, but on the rare chances they do have flights together, you always rode in the same car as him and majority of the time they sat by each other on the plane. So he was confused to see you getting into the second car.
After quickly throwing his bags in the back of the first car he trapsed over to the second car, ignoring the shouts from Oscar about missing their flight. The door was still open and as he peered inside the vehicle he'd wished he hadn't. There sat Logan and you, already chatting away. You were practically on Logan's lap with how close you were to him.
Lando cleared his throat, causing the two Americans to look towards him. "Y/N are you riding with me?"
His grip on the door frame getting tighter as he noticed the quick glance Logan and you shared, silence lulling between the three. Your silence already answering his question.
"Actually I'm gonna ride with Logan. He has the same flight too, so it works out." Her words cutting through the silence in the air and he thought that if he gripped the door frame any tighter he was going to leave dents in it.
Perhaps he was pushing you away from him.
"Alright." Lando stated, before what some would say slamming the car door shut.
The look on Oscar's face was the last thing Lando wanted to see when he entered the car. "Shut up." Lando huffed.
Oscar shrugged in response, a small smirk playing at his lips. "I didn’t even say anything!”
Lando rolled his eyes at his teammate, choosing to look out the window as the car started to move. “You didn’t have to. Your face said it all.”
Oscar had been dealing with Lando's hissy fits about you ever since that day he confronted him about going to lunch together. To say Oscar was ready for Lando to either man up and admit to you how he felt about you or move on was an understatement.
He also knew how you felt about Lando. Oscar had a hunch about it just from the way you would look at Lando sometimes. Or the way you would always glance at him when someone had said something funny, guarenting the two of them to be a giggling mess as soon as they made eye contact. Or the way you captured him in photos. Granted you did an amazing job when it came to taking any photos, but you captured Lando in a different way. In a loving way almost, Oscar remembered his girlfriend saying you captured Lando through the female gaze. Something he didn't really get, but clearly it meant something. So when you drunkenly admitted one race weekend how you liked Lando and how conflicted you felt about it all, he wasn't the least bit surprised.
So needless to say Oscar had gotten the rundown on what had occured in the hotel hallway last night from you this morning, infact very early this morning. He was still in bed when your loud pounding on the door woke him up. When he let you in, you just started in and Oscar didn't even say anything, just climbed back into bed as you paced back and forth in front of him. In the same breath you said that Lando is a douchebag, but that you don't care that he was hooking up with random women. Oscar could only let you ramble as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.
What Oscar did to get stuck in the middle of his two friends who both clearly wanted each other, but were too stubborn and backwards to just admit how they felt was beyond him. Not to mention one friends solution was to just act like said feelings don't exist. While the other friend can only seem to make things worse for himself, undoubtedly pushing the other person away.
Oscar knew your version of last night, and he knew Lando probably didn't want to relive it, but sometimes stirring the pot was Oscar's only form of entertainment.
“So I take it you don’t want to talk about the hallway incident last night then?”
Lando’s attention averted from the window back to Oscar. “How did you know about that?”
“You forget Y/N’s my friend too-" he debated whether or not to bring up Logan, but fuck it he thought "and so is Logan."
A forced laugh came from Lando. “Everyone just seems to love him don’t they?”
“Maybe Y/N likes him because he doesn’t turn into an ass when she’s around other guys and he doesn't hook up with random women in front of her hotel room.” Oscar knew he was pushing Lando's buttons, something he knew how to do quite well if he did say so himself.
Lando's jaw tensed, what was Oscar’s deal this morning? “Kindly shut the fuck up Oscar.”
Oscar put his hands up in defense. “Just saying. Your actions have consequences. Even if she doesn’t know you're being an ass because you're jealous. I would think, she thinks, you’re just being a shit friend in general. So maybe get yourself in check. Or admit how you feel. Either way something’s gotta give.”
Silence filled the air between the McLaren drivers. Lando knew deep down that Oscar was right, but he would never admit it. To Lando, his self destructive tendencies sometimes made more sense to him than the logical sane ones that Oscar presented him.
No words were exchanged for the rest of the car ride, the Italian pop song playing softly from the radio was the only thing heard. As they boarded the plane Lando still held out some hope that you would sit next to him, like you always did. But that hope was crushed as soon as you sat in the row behind him, with Logan right next to you. His headphones were immediately over his ears, not wanting to hear the two of them the whole plane ride.
The look his teammate gave him as he sat down beside him was one of pity. Maybe he really had fucked up, he had a feeling that things between you and him these past few weeks had been different. But after last night and this morning, there was no doubt their relationship had shifted.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
The next two races were in Azerbaijan and Singapore and you were still a little on edge from how Lando acted in Monza. Him slamming the door on Logan and you was beyond ridiculous. His attitude that whole night was also beyond ridiculous, especially considering how well he had performed in the race that day. A far cry from how he performed in the most recent two. Your job had been fairly easy on the Lando content aspect. He hadn't even placed in the top ten in Azerbaijan or Singapore, so that meant no extra pictures of podiums or celebrations for him. Which honestly, was fine with you, considering you didn't know if you were going to get asshole Lando or sweet funny Lando. In Singapore you had gotten asshole Lando, which looking back was ten times worse than his attitude in Monza.
You had some free time before qualifying and so you had inconspicuously made your way over to the William's garage. Mostly everyone there knew you by now as Logan and you had become fairly close. Not to mention the bright papaya uniform didn't allow for any blending in to occur. Logan was talking with some of the mechanics by his car when he spotted you, he quickly excused himself and came over.
"What are you doing in enemy territory?" Logan joked.
"I had some free time, came to see if I could figure out some strategies to relay back."
Logan raised his eyebrows a playful smirk developing on his face. "Oh I see. This friendship has just been a ploy all along!"
You raised your hands in defense, laughs coming from the both of you. "You caught me."
The two of you chatted some more, particularly about how excited you were for the next race, which just so happened to be in Austin. Any chance to be back in the states was one you took full advantage of. It didn't even matter that it wasn't even close to home, it was still home enough to you and you figured Logan thought so too. As the two of you talked about making plans while in Austin you heard a certain British voice holler your name.
"Y/N!"
Both Logan and yours heads turned towards the voice, the voice that sounded more like a mother hollering at her disobedient child than anything.
There Lando stood, his papaya suit making him stick out just like you and by his tone you already knew which Lando you were going to get. He was stood outside the garage, probably not daring to enter. You mouthed a 'what' at him and he motioned for you to come to him. You shook your head at him, deciding to speak up this time.
"I'm talking to Logan. What do you want?"
He rolled his eyes as he begrudgingly made his way towards Logan and you. "Don't you have work to be doing back at our garage?"
What the fuck? What was he trying to be your boss now? You were sure the look on your face was nothing shy of displeasure.
"What are you talking about? I've done more than enough for today and it's still an hour before qualis." You glanced over at Logan and you could tell he was a little taken aback from how Lando had spoken to you.
Lando's eyes lingered on Logan as he spoke. "Well still don't think you should be hanging around in other teams garages while on the clock." His gaze moved over to you. "Don't you think?"
You so badly wanted to smart off to him, make a snide comment about how badly he had done in the last race in Azerbaijan and how maybe he needed to be the one working. But you didn't, you bit your tongue, figuring it would only make things worse. So you only stated the obvious.
"Did Zak send you to come get me or something? Because last time I checked you weren't my boss."
Before Lando could respond Logan spoke up. "I think I'm gonna leave you guys to-"
Your head snapped back to face Logan, grabbing his arm before he could move. "No. We were having a conversation." As you turned to look back at Lando you could have swore you saw him staring at your hand on Logan's arm, but his gaze flickered back towards you too quickly. "Lando I'll be back at the garage in a little bit. I was talking to Logan before you interrupted and I'd like to finish my conversation if you don't mind." Your tone nothing shy of shitty.
You just wanted him to leave, he was causing somewhat of a scene to the people close by. And thankfully for you he left without a word, only a disgruntled look and a huff as he walked back towards the McLaren garage.
"Sorry." You stated as you averted your attention back towards Logan "I don't know what his problem is anymore. Ever since Monza he's been so fucking bizarre. Always hot and cold, I never know what Lando I'm going to get. It's been making my life a little stressful if you couldn't tell."
Logan glanced at Lando walking away then back to you, a small smirk playing on his lips. "I think I might have a hunch."
Your eyebrows furrowed at his statement. What more could Logan know than you? Not to sound like one of those people, but you clearly knew Lando better than Logan. "What? What is it?"
Logan did the old sealing his lips and throwing away the key gesture. "That's for me to know and you to find out."
"Oh come on tell me!" You exclaimed, desperately wanting to know what Logan knew.
He quickly changed the subject. "So how about going to a rodeo in Austin?"
"Logan tell me!"
He only shook his head as you unsuccessfully tried to pry the information out of him.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
Austin
A month had passed since Singapore and you had spent your break alone. It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't great. If anything it made you realize you really needed to make friends outside of people at work.
It didn't help when pictures from the Bali trip that a bunch of the drivers had went on, Lando included, started to be posted. Bali had treated him well and you wanted to kick yourself for ogling over the pictures of him. Especially after how moody he's been, but you couldn't help it. His sun kissed skin, his curls in full force from the Bali climate, and that stupid smile (that you loved so much) on his face had you smitten.
The break was over soon enough and you weren't that upset because the end of the break meant that you were coming home for a little bit. Something that you had been looking forward to again ever since Miami.
The warm sun hit your face as you walked around the paddock. Texas in October was still warm and you hoped it wouldn't get too hot today. You were giddy, mainly because of being back in the states, but you also just had a good feeling about the race today. Somehow you knew either Oscar or Lando were going to have a good day today, you had hoped both, but at least one would make you happy.
As you snapped some pictures of the crew around the garage you felt a presence behind you. Though you already knew who it was, that cologne had invaded your senses one too many times for you to forget who donned it. Deciding to let him be the one to say something, you pretended you didn't notice him behind you and took some more pictures.
"Think I might be a better photo subject, don't you think?" Of course the first thing out of his mouth was some cheeky comment.
You merely rolled your eyes, and as you turned to face him you quickly captured an off guard photo of him. Clicking the buttons to look back at the photo you grimaced, turning it around to show Lando. "I think this photo says different."
Lando moved in closer next to you to get a better look. "That's not fair! I wasn't ready!" He exclaimed, laughter laced in his words.
Shaking your head you couldn't help but let out a laugh. "Every good photo subject should be camera ready at all times. This right here proves your statement wrong."
"Yeah whatever."
You had suddenly become hyper aware at just how close the two of you were. Your arms pressed against each other as the two of you huddled around your camera. It had been awhile since you had been in this close proximity to him and you weren't sure if it was that or the cologne but your head was spinning. Your gaze wandered from his big hands that now held your camera, up his arms, then neck, and they finally landed on his face. The tan he had acquired in Bali still glowed in the Texas sun and his curls moved slightly in the breeze. God, you had missed him. You had not only missed him physically, you missed the Lando you were in the presence of right now. The funny and sweet Lando. Not the Lando you had in Singapore.
"Hey can we talk real quick?"
Hearing his voice had snapped you out of the trance you didn't even know you were in. A blush crept onto your cheeks, you only hoped he hadn't caught you staring. You only nodded your head at him, hoping you had heard him correctly.
"I wanted to apologize for how I was in Singapore. That wasn't me back there. I think I was still mentally struggling from doing poorly in Azerbaijan and knowing I would and did do poorly in Singapore just added onto it. So again I'm sorry."
Wow. Where did this Lando come from? You were grateful for him apologizing, but there were still plenty of other things he needed to apologize for.
"Oh. It's okay (even though it really wasn't). Thank you for apologizing though." You weren't going to ruin this now rare good moment with Lando, so you quickly changed the subject. "So how was Bali?"
His eyes lit up. "Oh it was amazing. Wish I could have just stayed there. You would have loved it too, you should have come!"
Well, there was never an invite sent your way, so how were you supposed to have come? Is what you wanted to say, but instead you just said. "Think that might be frowned upon in the workplace."
Lando shook his head. "I doubt it. How was your break though?"
You shrugged, it definitely was nothing like Bali. "Just spent some time at home."
A frown stretched across Lando's face. "Now see, now I really wish you would have came."
You just ignored him, the idea that he was stood here telling you he wanted you to come but couldn't even invite you stung a little bit. So you changed the subject again and the two of you chatted until race time, and for a moment it was just like old times. Lando soon left to prepare for the race and you finished up the crew pictures.
Later as you stood there while the national anthem played you had no idea just how crazy your night was about to be.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
If there was a race Lando was looking forward to the least, he would have to say Austin. The main reason being he knew Logan and you would be up eachothers asses.
But after some self reflection during the break he had promised himself he would be on his best behavior from now on. Personal life and racing included. He had trained extra hard this past week, running the sim like no other, and trying make up to the team for how badly he had performed in the previous two races. Everyone knew the car was more than capable of performing, it was the driver who was at fault for the poor position. The driver who after Singapore may have went into a spiral after realizing he may have fucked everything up more even more than what he thought after Monza.
Lando couldn't help it, it was like when he saw you with other guys, specifically Logan, his brain short circuited and every promise he had made to himself about behaving went out the window. But after having that moment with you in the garage moments ago he realized he had to keep his shit together. It was the first real carefree funny moment the two of them shared in months. He didn't want to go that long without it again, without you near him, without hearing your laugh that he had caused. So if all you were ever going to be in his life was a friend, Lando guessed he could live with it.
Him living with it lasted until the post race celebrations.
He had tried, really he had. In fact he held up the racing end of his promise by winning. His first Grand Prix win to be exact. In the post race interviews he credited his win to all the extra hard work he had been putting in and of course the team, but his big motivator may have been winning to impress you. Even if he had said he was fine with being friends, he still wanted to show to you that he wasn't the loser that you had seen in the last two races. Show you that in many ways he was better than Logan, and what better way than to win the race both of them were competing in. And the fact that it was an American race was just an added bonus to him. He was grasping at straws at this point, but the little sliver of hope kept him sane, until it didn't.
How a big group of drivers, significant others, and friends ended up at some club, karaoke bar, line dancing, and mechanical bull place all wrapped into one he will never know. But he was sure you had something to do with it. It was a far cry from the places he was used to overseas or hell even in Miami or Vegas, but he had just won the Grand Prix, he was going to have a good time no matter where he was at.
The drinks were going down smooth tonight, and at one point he had lost count of how many he had consumed. It seemed like they just magically kept appearing in front of him, he was constantly being brought drinks or shots from people wanting to congratulate him on his win. At this point he was starting to feel a little unsteady on his feet. Perhaps he may have gone too hard too fast with the alcohol tonight. He wasn't plastered yet, but he was getting there quick. He was about ready to down another shot when his teammate came up behind him. "Think you may need to slow down on the drinking for awhile."
Oscar walked alongside Lando, well more like guided him, towards the karaoke section of the place. Sitting him down at one of the booths as he slid in next to him. Lando slumped forward, his face resting wobbly in his hands. You were seated at the same booth but directly across from them.
"Jesus Lan, we've been here two hours. How much have you had to drink?" You asked.
Lando held up his pointer finger, indicating one.
Oscar and you shook your heads at the curly haired driver. "Very funny." You stated.
Lando now donned a sour look on his face, they had misunderstood his gesture. "No. I'm number 1!"
"Yes Lando you won today." Oscar reassured his teammate.
Oscar and you sipped your drinks while you prayed Lando would sober up enough that you didn't need to be worried about him. The pair was having to either decline the drinks that people were sending over for the winner or drink them themselves. They soon found themselves a little on the tipsy side from perhaps doing the same thing Lando was guilty of moments ago.
"You guys are freaking idiots." Lando mumbled. The once responsible friends that were looking after Lando were now in the same boat as him. Perhaps Lando was slightly more sober than them at this point.
After your second tequila sunrise the idea of karaoke sounded like the best thing ever. You knew Oscar wouldn't be up for it and Lando didn't look the happiest right now, so you searched the place for the one person who you knew would be up for it. You were able to spot him easily, his tall frame making him stand out in the crowd.
"Logan!"
You were tipsy enough to forget that yelling for a person in a loud club did absolutely nothing. And as you yelled again Lando tried to just tune you out, ignore the annoyance and jealousy arising in him over you hollering another man's name. He was supposed to be on his best behavior, but he should have known from before that alcohol and his good behavior don't mix.
You had finally gotten Logan's attention and as Lando saw the American driver walk towards their table he fiddled with his phone. Not even bothering to acknowledge him as he greeted him.
"Will you please do karaoke with me?" He heard you ask Logan and without even looking up he knew you were giving Logan those damn puppy dog eyes that you used to give him when you wanted him to do something for you.
He heard Logan laugh and from the corner of his eye he saw him reach out his hand for you to grab. "Yes, but only for my favorite girl."
Lando's blood ran cold at Logan's use of words. His favorite girl? His? The simple three letter word made his body tense and as the pair walked away Lando finally looked up. He had wished he hadn't as he saw Logan's arm around your shoulder as the two of them walked.
"Mate I thought you had gotten your shit together? I can feel how tense you are from over here." Oscar's speech was clear, he clearly hadn't drank as much as Lando thought.
"I'm perfectly fine." Lando stated as he looked back down at his phone.
"Yeah and my ears didn't pop from the pressure displacement in the air when you heard Logan call Y/N his favorite girl."
Lando did not like that fact that he was trapped in this booth with the one person who could read him like a book. "Can you let me out?"
Oscar scoffed at Lando's question. "You don't want to listen to Y/N and Logan sing? We have an excellent view of the stage." He took another swig of his drink as he eyed his teammate.
Not even twenty seconds later the two Americans took the stage and Lando suddenly found his phone to be more interesting. They had decided to sing some song about saving horses and riding cowboys, whatever it was Lando had tried to tune it out. But when he would hear you laugh in between parts of the song his eyes would venture from his phone up to the stage. He never looked for long, his jealousy getting the best of him when he would see how close Logan and you were. Not even physically, at this point they were clearly emotionally close, perhaps even closer than Lando and you ever were. At least that's what Lando's worst case scenario brain told him.
Lando managed to make it through their karaoke session without blowing a gasket. But as you returned to the table your smile faded as you looked at Lando, who looked less than thrilled as you approached him.
Sliding back into the booth you eyed him. Your mouth working faster than your brain. "Why are you always so unhappy when I'm around anymore? Or when we go out? If you don't want me to come out just tell me." The apology he had given you earlier didn't even exist at this point and the one good moment that you didn't want to ruin from earlier was gone too. You had enough liquid courage in you to finally say what had been eating away at you for months.
Lando was slightly taken aback by your sudden abruptness. He wasn't sure what to say at first. His teeth found the inside of his bottom lip as he tried to choose his words carefully. "I'm not unhappy when you're around, I love having you around. Also, I wouldn't invite you out if I didn't like having you around Y/N." He figured leaving out the mention of him hating when Logan is out with you was a good idea.
You huffed before grabbing one of the shots that had just been dropped off at the table. You downed it easily, slamming the shot glass back down on the table. "Really? Because you sure don't show it."
Oscar was still seated next to Lando, taking sips of his drinks as he watched the two of them go back and forth. He knew this was a long time coming, but he didn't expect to get a front row seat to it.
Lando sat up straight in the booth, suddenly getting defensive. "Why would I not want you around?"
You drummed you fingers against the table as you stared him down. "You always get so pissy when we are out. Like I'm not allowed to have fun or something. Or not allowed to have a little free time while I'm working."
"That's not true." Even though it was.
You rolled your eyes, you clearly were getting nowhere with this conversation and perhaps you should have waited until you both were sober. "You know what nevermind. I should have never brought it up."
Your sarcastic tone went straight through Lando, but he didn't even get a chance to respond back as you had already scooted out of the booth and was lost in the sea of bodies.
"That went well." Oscar stated, but when Lando didn't respond Oscar just kept going. "You remember what I said on the way to the airport in Monza? Either tell you how you feel or get your shit together? You know she's not a confrontational person, so she has clearly had enough of your shit to even bring it up." He took the last swig of his drink and as he got up from the booth he gave Lando one last final warning. "You're gonna lose her and this little conversation the two of you just had was proof enough."
Lando now sat alone in the booth, the only thing surrounding him was empty glasses. How did his nights that were supposed to be filled with celebration and good times always end up filled with drama and regrets? Oscar's words ate away at him as sat there twiddling his thumbs. How much more of this back and forth shit could he take? How much more could you take? Lando scanned the table and found one lonesome shot untouched. He wasn't even sure what it was until that familiar burn hit his throat.
Tequila.
Tequila always seemed to make him make bad decisions, so he knew tonight was either going to end badly or great. Either way he was finally going to man up and tell you how he felt.
It didn't take long to find you, considering you had made yourself the center of attention in the whole place. He heard your laughs before he saw you, but from the crowd of men gathered around the mechanical bull he knew exactly where you were.
He pushed his way to the front and sure enough there you were. When he saw you on that thing he couldn't help but stare. The operator of the machine clearly knew what he was doing, giving everyone a show. The way your thighs clenched onto the sides of the bull to help you stay on. Your ass and tits jiggling when the operator moved the bull a certain way. Not to mention just watching your body sway, you'd think you were a pro at this. Lando's mind started to wonder to how you'd look on top of him and that's when he realized it wasn't just him watching you look like that. You were surrounded by a big group of men, some of them his fellow competitors, that he was sure were also thinking the same impure thoughts as him.
He spotted the Ferrari drivers first, both of them leaning over the railing watching you intently. Then he spotted Logan, eyes wide as he watched your ass shake in the air.
This was the beginning of the end of Lando's good behavior promise. Lando could feel his blood starting to boil, knowing all these men were undoubtedly getting their dicks hard over you. He didn't mean to cause a scene, really he didn't. But before he even realized what he was doing he had jumped the railing and had his arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you off the bull. Your legs kicking him and insults flew through the air as you protested his actions. He had carried you towards a relatively empty area and as he sat you down he prepared himself for the fallout of his actions.
"What the fuck is your problem?" You shouted, anger and liquor doing nothing to conceal how you felt.
Lando raised his hands in defense. "Y/N. I was just trying to protect you-"
"Why would I need protecting? Especially coming from you? The way you've acted towards me these past couple months I figured you'd rather me be dead!"
The handful of people who were around had started to stare, if Lando had thought he caused a scene moments ago, it was nothing compared to now.
Lando tried to explain himself. "You should have seen how those guys were looking at you."
You scoffed at his comment. "Well have you thought maybe I wanted them to look? I'm allowed to have a little fun Lando, maybe you should try it sometime. In fact I'm surprised you haven't found your random girl to hookup with on my hotel room door yet." Your words were laced with venom, he had finally pushed you hard enough.
His eyes narrowed at you. "Why are you bringing up what happened in Monza? All I was trying to do was save you from a night filled with fighting off all those sleazy guys. They only wanted one thing from you, especially the other drivers."
Shaking your head at Lando, a laugh escaped past you lips. "Yeah I guess you would know about using women wouldn't you?"
Lando ignored you dig at him, fully knowing what you had said was true.
"I just think you should be careful about who you are friends with. The way Logan was looking at you-" More often than not Lando was quite the hypocrite when it came to his issues with you.
Your jaw tightened at the mention of Logan, there was no reason to bring him into this.
Tonight was the final straw, you had truly had enough. This wasn't a healthy friendship and as much as it pained you, it was becoming more of a reality that this chapter of your life was needing to come to an end. As you cut the McLaren driver's sentence off you knew this may be the last time you spoke to him.
"You know what Lando, you are right. I do need to be more careful about who I'm friends with." You moved closer to him, the two of them merely inches apart, your finger poking at his chest as you spoke. "And he's standing right here."
Lando could have swore all the air left his body as you spoke those five words to him. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Surely he had heard you wrong. "You don't mean that." Lando stammered, his eyes never leaving yours, trying to search for a joking gleam in your eyes. But dark, cold, and empty eyes were all that stared back at him.
"I do." You whispered, you hand lingering on his chest, you could feel his heart racing, yours doing the same.
Lando stood there dumbfounded as you walked away. He didn't protest, purely from the fact that he was still processing what had just happened. Had he finally lost you? From the looks of it he had and he hadn't even told you how he felt. Why couldn't he be normal for once? He always had to make everything about him, about how he felt.
He figured at this point what else did he have to lose? He was still going to tell you how he felt about you. Maybe if he was lucky you would feel the same, but with Lando's track record he knew his chances were slim.
You had a good head start on him, but his legs carried him as fast as they could out of the building and down the street towards the hotel. He silently thanked god that there weren't any fans outside the hotel and by the time he reached you room he was out of breath as he knocked on you door.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. How could you have been so stupid? The tears thankfully hadn't started to fall until you had reached your hotel room, but now as you sat on your bed they wouldn't stop coming.
You knew what you did was the right thing, but you still felt stupid. Stupid for even developing feelings for Lando in the first place, stupid for allowing your relationship to turn into what it had. Why you ever let it get to this point was beyond you. It hurt, god did it hurt, but life teaches you lessons and this clearly was one. As you typed up a draft resignation letter on your phone you heard a rapid knock at your door. You had texted Oscar earlier letting him know you were coming back to the hotel, that things had gone sour between Lando and you. So, you figured that was him coming to check up on you.
But oh boy were you wrong. On the other side of the door stood an out of breath Brit, who was the cause of the tears you were now rapidly trying to wipe away. You had tried to slam the door in his face, but he quickly stuck his foot in the doorframe, a groan coming from him as the door hit his foot.
Good I hope it hurt you thought.
"Y/N please. I need to talk to you." His grip on the door was much stronger than yours and he easily was able to make his way into your room.
"Why so you can shame me or be rude to me or bad mouth one of my friends again? Think you did enough of that earlier." You stood your ground, arms crossed across your chest.
Lando closed the door behind him and as he eyed you he fully took you in. The red puffy eyes, tear stained cheeks. God he had fucked up. "What was said earlier got blown way out of proportion. That's not how I intended for you to take my words."
"It wasn't just what you said earlier Lando, it's been a combination of a lot of other things. I don't know what switched between us, but it's not the same as it used to be. You're an ass to me more than not anymore. I don't know what I did to make you act like that, but you won't have to deal with me much longer. I'm writing my resignation letter. It'll be sent in the morning and I'll be gone."
Lando had started to panic, the realness of the situation they had found themselves in had really started to set in. "No no no no! You don't have to quit your job. You love what you do."
A loud sigh passed your lips, clearly annoyed at him. "Well when the main person I work with can't ever seem to be happy with what I do or associate myself with, then perhaps quitting is what needs to be done." Maybe it was some of the alcohol still in your system or maybe you just wanted to be an ass back to him finally, but the tears had subsided and your mood had turned slightly petty. "Which now that I think about it, why do you care so much about who I hang out with? I mean it's ok for you to fuck any woman with pulse, but I suddenly become close with other drivers and now it's time to slut shame me? Wonder what the press would think about that?"
The smirk that was on you face made Lando irate, you were so fucking stubborn sometimes. All he had wanted to do was come up here and confess how he felt, fix his fuck up from earlier, but now he was riled up again.
"When in the fuck have I slut shamed you? I mean what do you want me to say? That you can go fuck my competitors? If thats all thats stopping you then please don't let me get in your way." Lando regretted his words as soon as they came out of his mouth. The last thing he wanted was for you to go fuck someone else.
That wasn't at all what you were trying to get at. In fact it was the opposite, but if he was going to bring it up, you were going to play along, anything to get under his skin. What better way to hurt a man's ego than to talk about how much you would want to get with his competitors. You grabbed your phone off the bed, unlocking it and scrolling through your contacts. "Maybe I will. I mean I have endless choices don't I? I know Charles would have loved to fuck me in Monza. Or perhaps Logan? You said yourself he was eyeing me tonight. Or maybe Charles and Carlos both? You should have seen how they were with me in the taxi when we were in Monza."
Lando thought he was going to lose his mind, he felt like he was going to break his jaw from how hard he had it clenched. Just hearing you say those things had him on the edge of snapping. "Hmm. I think I'll go with Logan. Think he would know how to please me." Before you could even pretend to start texting him Lando's hand was on your wrist, prying you phone from your hands. His breath labored as he pulled you close to him.
"You are not fucking any of them."
Your eyes widened at his actions, his hands around your wrists, his pupils blown as he stared you down, and the smell of tequila on his breath. The petty joking manner you had moments ago was now long gone.
The angry tension in the air had now transitioned into something foreign, something deeper. And unknown to you but you had been the one to change it.
"Well why not?" You had tried to bring back the previous atmosphere, but the Lando that stood inches away from you was one you had never seen before.
"Because the only driver you can fuck is me."
Your breath caught in your throat at his words. If there was a world record for how fast someone could blush you were sure you had just broken it, except your whole body felt like it was blushing. It radiated through your body directly to your core.
Your mind felt like tv static, you didn't know what to say or do. Lando was still inches away from you, your wrists still tightly in his grasp. "What?" Was all you could muster up and even that was barely coherent.
"Oh come on. You aren't gonna make me spell it out for you are you?" With just a wide eyed blank stare as your response he freed your wrists, but his hands now glided over your arms and shoulders and up to your neck. The feeling of his hands dancing over your skin made your eyes flutter shut. This was far more different than your knees touching or a lingering hug.
This wasn't how Lando had expected to be telling you how he felt, he hadn't even had anything like this one his mind, but you talking so freely about fucking his friends flipped a switch in him. "You gonna make me tell you how I've been obsessed with you since I saw you sitting in that meeting on your first day? How I drove myself crazy trying to distance myself from you, but you're so fucking intoxicating you just kept drawing me back in. How I basically ruined our friendship because I couldn't stand to see you with fucking Logan."
He paused, but still maintained eye contact as he pressed a chaste kiss on your hand. "Is it wrong of me to assume you've wanted me as bad as I've wanted you?" It was almost his way of asking permission to continue, and you granted it easily by letting out a faint 'no'. With that simple word his kisses moved from your hand up your arm and finally landing on your neck. It was somewhat embarrassing how hot and bothered his words and just some simple kisses were making you.
"Or how about how I could only think of you when I got with other women. Wishing it was you I had pressed up against your hotel room door in Monza. How the idea of any other man even looking at you in a sexual way made me want to break their jaw. You want me to tell you how fucking stupid I was for not telling you how I felt sooner. For basically putting us through hell and back because I couldn't keep my shit together when you talked to Logan."
His kisses had gotten sloppier, and he started to pay more attention to your neck. A small moan emitting from you when he found that sweet spot. You could feel his smirk against your neck as your moans filled his ears.
As your mind slowly processed all that he had just said, a lot more things started to click. First of all your inklings about him feeling the same were very much correct. But to think you hadn't put him being an ass because he was jealous of Logan together had you baffled. Usually you were very observant, but clearly not observant enough. You felt like your body was on autopilot as he still worked on your neck, you were supposed to be mad at him, supposed to be leaving him, leaving all the shitty moments behind. But as you stood here now you were glad he had come up to your room. Glad that you didn't fight that hard to not let him into your room. Because even if you had cut him out of your life and left, you knew deep down those feelings for him would never go away. No matter what had happened between the two of you.
Your hands pressed against his abdomen as he was surely giving you something on your neck that was going to need to be covered in the morning. "Wish I would have told you how I felt sooner." Your words were breathy as his hands now wandered up under your shirt. "You weren't the only one being driven crazy. You were-" It was hard for you to focus on your words, your brain only wanting to focus on how good Lando's hands and lips felt on you. "You were constantly fucking with my head, making me think you liked me and then getting with other women. Made me feel like shit when I saw you with them and then you made me feel like shit for months because you're an asshole."
His attack on your neck had halted, the two of you making eye contact once again. Your eyes glanced down at his lips, they were red and swollen, as much as you wanted to hate him, your desire to kiss him was much stronger.
"I know baby and I'm sorry for ever making you feel like that.'
Your eyebrow raised at the term of endearment. "Baby? Moving a little fast there aren't you Norris?"
A smirk had spread across his face. "You've been my baby in my mind for a long time. So forgive me for being eager."
Rolling your eyes at the brunette you linked your hands behind his neck, once again staring at his lips. "You gonna finally kiss me or do I need to go find Logan?"
The mere mention of the American had Lando pulling you into him, your lips meeting in an instant. It took a second for your brain to catch up, but once it did you practically melted into him. You had thought for a long time what it would feel like to kiss Lando, and you were happy to say it was better than you had imagined. His right hand was cupping your face while his left held onto your side. If you were weak in the knees before you surely were now as the two of you pulled away from each other, grinning like idiots. "Why did we deprive ourselves of this for so long?" You asked as your thumb caressed his cheek.
Lando leaned into your touch. "I don't know. I guess we both like to suffer." He gently removed your hand from his face placing an open mouth kiss to your palm. "I still need you to know how sorry I am for being such an ass. Let me show you how sorry I am you." He started to trail kisses back up your arm and you honestly didn't need any convincing. With a simple 'ok' from you Lando's lips were back on yours as he leaded you back towards your bed, your lips never separating.
The back of your knees hit the end of the bed causing you to fall back onto the bed. Using your forearms to prop yourself up you stared back at the driver who was stood at the end of the bed. He kicked off his shoes and his shirt was being pulled over his head in a matter of seconds. He didn't even give you time to gawk at his toned abdomen before he was climbing onto the bed, his chain dangling over you as your lips reconnected. Wrapping your fingers around the chain you pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. Your need for him growing more and more by the minute. The desire for his touch consumed you and as you started to squirm under him you heard a soft laugh come from him.
"That needy huh?" His teasing tone causing the aching throb between your legs to intensify. With only a whine coming from you as a response he looped his fingers through your belt loops, slightly tugging on them. "Which should come off first? Pants or shirt?"
You were in no mood for his teasing, the idea of having to wait any longer for his hands to be on you again sounded like torture. "Both."
"Both? That's my girl."
My girl repeated in your head as you struggled to get your shirt off. Those two simple words causing your arousal to grow even more and as he pulled off your pants you sure you had already soaked your panties. But Lando wasn't focused on that yet, to his surprise when he looked up to see you taking off your shirt, you hadn't worn a bra. Your breasts were already on full display. "Jesus." He groaned as he climbed his way back up to you. "Should have known you didn't wear a bra tonight the way your tits were bouncing on that bull." He wasted no time, immediately placing his large hands on them. As he pinched and tugged one nipple with one hand, his mouth had found its way onto the other. It was a sight you couldn't tear your eyes away from, something you only dreamed about. A whimper escaped past your lips and Lando could have died right there a happy man as your whimpers filled his ears.
As much as you were enjoying the pleasure he was giving you, it was creating a much bigger need someplace else. If your panties weren't soaked earlier, they definitely were now. The aching between your legs was becoming almost unbearable. Your hands found there way to his hair, fingers running through his messy curls. "Lan." You breathed out. His actions halted at the sound of you calling for him, blown pupils staring up at you.
"What baby?" No audible response came from you, but when he saw you clench your thighs he knew exactly what you wanted. "Oh, I think I know what you want." His fingers trailed from your breasts all the way down to the waistband of your panties, his fingers toying with it, gently snapping it against your skin.
"Thought you weren't gonna be an ass anymore?" His teasing making you crazy.
Even though he was looking down you could see the smirk on his face, the little shit was enjoying every minute of making you squirm. You watched as his hands landed on your thighs and in one swift motion they were hooked under your knees and he had pulled you even closer to him, causing your legs to be wide open for him.
Lando felt his dick twitch at the sight of your soaked panties, and once he pulled them off he thought he had died and gone to heaven at just how fucking wet you were, from him. He hadn't even properly touched you yet and you were already a mess. His hands masssaged you inner thighs and ghosted around the area you wanted him the most. "God, you're gonna be the death of me. You know how fucking soaked you are?" He took a single finger and quickly ran it up your slit, your wetness that lathered his finger quickly entered his mouth.
Your skin was on fire from just that his one little action, and as you watched him suck your wetness from his finger you thought your heart was gonna beat out of your chest. "Lan please."
"Please what?"
You threw your head back in frustration, he had to be getting off on this. "I want your mouth" you glanced down at his long thick fingers that had found a home on your thighs once more "and your fingers."
"Whatever my girl wants." He scooted down on the bed and as he lowered his head between your thighs the pit in your stomach grew. He wasted no time in getting to work, or in finding your clit. As he gently sucked on the sensitive bud you couldn't hold in your moans. The boy was a fucking expert with his tongue and from the way he was devouring you, you could tell he was enjoying it. Your fingers grabbed his curls as he fucked your hole with his tongue, his nose brushing against your clit. It was embarrassing how fast he had you close to coming undone. Your chest heaving as you felt your orgasm coming, and he hadn't even used his fingers yet, but almost like he knew what you wanted, you felt two fingers slide inside of you. Your moans getting louder as he still worked your clit and finger fucked you at the same time. When he added a third finger and curled his fingers, reaching that soft spongy spot, your eyes rolled to the back of your head.
He had raised his head to look up at you, a smirk splayed across his glistening face, covered in your slick. "That's my pretty girl. Come on, I know you're close. Gonna come all over my fingers and face aren't you."
His words of praise went straight to your core and as you clenched around his fingers a small laugh came from him. "Someone likes to be praised." You couldn't even be bothered to give him a witty comment back, you were on the edge of coming undone. His mouth went back to work and in a matter of seconds you were unraveling beneath him. Your legs shook as he still worked you through your orgasm. His name tumbling out of your mouth like a chant.
Your breathing was labored as you tried to come down from your high. Glancing down at Lando, he had never looked hotter to you than right now. His face and fingers covered in you, his hair a mess and lips swollen from him devouring your pussy. And the mess between your thighs that was caused by him, had you craving more.
Lando's erection was painfully throbbing at this point, still trapped behind his boxers and jeans. How he didn't just blow his load at the sight of you unraveling because of him, he wasn't sure. But one thing he did know was that he needed to be inside you, immediately. "I know you're still coming down but I need you so badly." His hands fumbling with the button on his jeans.
You simply shook your head at him, hands reaching out to help him get his pants off. "I don't care what you do as long as you can make me come like that again."
The words of praise went straight to Lando's cock, he truly didn't think he had ever been this hard in his life. The way you were looking up at him through your lashes as you toyed with the waistband of his boxers had him groaning. "Y/N stop."
A look of innocence spread across your face. "What? I was just giving you a taste of your own medicine." Your hand brushed past his still clothed erection and the whimper that came from him was like music to your ears. You soon granted him relief has you tugged his boxers down, his cock slapping against his stomach. Your eyes widened as you took all of him in. He was clearly blessed with not only good size, but girth. The mere thought of him stretching you out had you practically drooling.
You wanted to please him the same way he had you, but you had barely rubbed your thumb over his tip before his his large hand wrapped around your wrist, halting your actions. "I really just want to be inside of you."
Not one to oblige you scooted back on the bed, head resting on the pillows as you watched him come towards you. The anticipation was killing you and as he rubbed his tip between your folds it had only made it worse. "You know how beautiful you are? Think you might be even more beautiful when you take my cock won't you baby?"
Eagerly nodding at his words you couldn't take your eyes off his cock as his tip teased your entrance. You knew he was going to be a tease, so you rolled your hips towards him, patience not being your strong suit when it came to him. "That hungry for my cock huh?"
In one swift motion he had pushed himself in you, completely bottoming out. "Oh my god!" It had caught you off guard, even with how wet you were it still hurt a little as his cock stretched you out.
You hadn't even realized you had clenched around him until he spoke up. "Fuck. I'm not gonna last long if you keep doing that." His face scrunched up in pleasure.
"Sorry." You stated, pressing a kiss to his forearm.
Lando had started to move his hips and as the first waves of pleasure jolted through your body you couldn't help but think this is not how you saw your night going when you woke up this morning.
The room was filled with a mix of both yours and Lando's moans and the sound of slapping skin. You weren't trying to be dramatic, but you truly thought Lando's cock was made for you. The way he filled you up just right with each stroke was making your head spin.
Still sensitive from your first orgasm, you could feel yourself getting close again, the familiar pit in your stomach growing as he pounded into you relentlessly. The pleasure overwhelming you. But just at the brink of coming undone for the second time tonight he abruptly pulled out.
"You've got to be jok-"
He lightly slapped your thigh. "Ass up."
He didn't have to tell you twice as you quickly flipped over, face buried in the pillows, back arched with your ass in the air. The cool air on your now very exposed pussy sent a shiver down your spine.
Lando was enjoying the view as he lightly toyed with your clit earning a muffled moan from you. His hands gripped your waist to enter you once more when something in the corner of the room caught his eye. Gathering your hair into a makeshift ponytail with one hand and the other under your stomach he pulled you up and back towards him until your back was flush against his chest, practically sitting in his lap. His still very prominent erection rubbing between your folds. As he positioned the both of you to face the corner of the room that's when you saw it.
Your reflection staring back at you. The horny little shit wanted to fuck you in front of the mirror. You couldn't lie the thought of it was hot. So, you took the initiative, as you raised your hips you took his cock in your hand, lining him up with your entrance.
The both of you watching in the mirror as you sank down onto him. The image right up there with Lando eating you out as one of the hottest things you'd seen. A string of curse words was heard from Lando and all you could do was grip his legs as you felt him buck up inside you.
As you rolled your hips you couldn't tear your eyes away from the mirror and neither could Lando. The new position allowing for him to feel even deeper inside you, if that was possible. One of his hands reached around and started to rub your clit, the added pleasure causing your eyes to flutter shut.
"Nope. Open your eyes pretty girl. I want you to watch."
When you didn't open them he told you again, but when you didn't open them the third time, his other hand was now suddenly wrapped around your throat. His large hand easily covering the front of your throat. The slight pressure he applied to the sides of your throat caused your eyes to fly open, but combine that with you riding his cock and his other hand still working on your clit you were once again on the brink of an orgasm. The sight of you in the mirror was nothing less than pornogrpahic and if Lando could, he would have taken a picture.
The feeling though was gone again, in a matter of seconds. He had basically thrown you off his cock, then pulled you off the bed, the both of you now directly in front of the mirror. You were impressed with Lando's stamina and you knew from him practically edging you (and himself) twice now, when he finally did let you come it was going to be mind blowing.
He had you bent over, hands gripping the sides of the mirror, as he spread your legs. This time there was no teasing your clit, he wasted no time, his cock slamming into you as soon as your legs were spread. His thrusts were relentless, you weren't sure if you would even be able to walk tomorrow. But from the way his fingers were gripping your waist you for sure knew there would be bruises there tomorrow. Your moans only encouraging him more as he slapped your ass, the sting only adding to your pleasure.
"God, look at you. Taking my cock like that. Who else can fuck you like this huh? Make you an absolute mess?"
You were too fucked out to respond, your legs feeling weak as you watched him in the mirror. Lando's hand reached around towards you neck, finding its previous home from moments ago. "I said who else can fuck you like this?" He gave your throat a light squeeze.
"No one. Only you." You finally mustered up, brain too consumed by pleasure to actually form a sentence.
You watched as the smirk formed on his face at your words. "There's my good girl." Your pussy fluttering at the pet name, which in turn earned a 'fuck' from Lando.
His other hand reached down to your clit, once again giving it some attention. As your orgasm approached you prayed this would be the time he finally would let you come. Your whimpers a telltale sign to Lando you were ready. "Gonna be a good girl and come for me? Come on baby. Let everyone know who's making you feel this good. Want everyone to know your mine."
With his words of praise your orgasm washed over you, hard. The pleasure was so intense you couldn't even hold yourself up anymore. Your body convulsing as your ears started to ring. Lando's name echoing out of your mouth in a less than quiet volume. It didn't help that he was still fucking you through your orgasm, the overstimulation bringing you almost to tears at how good it felt. Lando came seconds later, hot sticky cum filling you up. Profanties mixed with your name bounced around the room as he milked every ounce out of his orgasm.
As he pulled out a whimper came from you at the sudden empty feeling, while a groan came from him at the sight of his cum leaking out of you.
Lando basically carried you back to the bed, afraid your legs would give out if you tried to walk. His arms immediately wrapping around you as you rested your head on his chest. "Think I accomplished your request didn't I?" Lando asked with a smirk on his face. His fingers rubbing gently circles on your back.
"You did more than accomplish it Norris. I think everyone in the hotel knows that." A blush creeping onto your cheeks at the fact that you were not so quiet moments ago.
"Poor Oscar." Lando laughed. Oh god, you had forgotten Oscar's room was right next to yours. "Actually don't worry about it. He should be happy we are finally together."
Raising your head to look at him you gave him a questioning look. "Together? I never remember getting asked anything. Only being told I could only fuck you."
Lando rolled his eyes at your dramatics. "Yes and that statement still stands." His free hand cupped your cheek, his thumb gently caressing your cheek. He hadn't planned for tonight to go the way it did, but as he laid here in bed with you in his arms he wouldn't have it any other way. He wanted this all the time. "In all seriousness. I do want you to be mine. My girlfriend."
You would have never thought you'd be in this position. It had been a tough couple months for the two of you and just hours ago you were ready to erase him from your life as best as your could. But you still loved him, even more now if that was possible.
"Well it's a good thing I want you to be mine too huh?" His eyes lit up at your words, smiling for ear to ear. His lips were on yours in an instant, something you don't think you'll ever get used to. "Even though you were an asshole." You said as you pulled away.
Lando let out a sigh. "Well I guess I'm still gonna have to show you how sorry I am aren't I?" His cheeky expression not matching his tone of voice.
"I think so." You stated as your lips met once again.
An ignored text alert sounded off from the bedside table of the two lovers. It wouldn't be read until morning, laughter coming from Lando as your cheeks turned red.
Oscar: well I'm glad I'm not in the middle of whatever the hell that friends to crushes to miserable fucks to enemies shit you two had going on anymore. but please for the love of god remind me to never take the room by either of you again!!!!!!
#lando norris#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris fanfic#formula one x reader#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 fic#praying this doesn't flop bc i worked so hard on it and its literally 18k words... lmfao#mine#writing
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Forced roomates or forced to be lovers?
*pairing: popular pervy gamer Heeseung x popular cheerleader
*trope: forced roomates/opposites attract
*synopsis: Heeseung, a slightly introverted nerd but popular in the world of video games and in his computer course, with a passion for video games, and Y/n, the most popular cheerleader on campus, they find themselves sharing the apartment due to a mistake in the allocation of rooms. They could not be more different: he loves to spend sleepless nights in front of the monitor with always in hand a bowl of ramen, immersed in role-playing games, while she lives between exhausting training cheerleaders, evenings at the various parties of the football team and stories on Instagram. Initially the two barely bear each other, but a series of funny and intimate events will lead them to discover that, perhaps, they complement each other.
*tags: A lot of humor, tension, fluff, spicy, pervy Heeseung, a little pervy reader, Unprotected sex (don’t horny ppl) pet names (Barbie, Baby, Good girl), pet names (Nerd, Loser), jealousy, teasing, possession, references to video games, cowgirl, +14, sweet moments at the end.
8.4k words
It’s the first time i write explicit scenes so i hope you like (🎮)
Heeseung’s room at that precise moment was full of mathematical forms and calculation sheets and various drawings of characters he invented, you could hear only the noise of the joystick and the various clilc he made in the mouse, with his excellent score in all subjects in the computer course and being one of the best video game players in the state, Hee had the chance to register for an online tournament for only nerds and professional gamers lasting a few months and the first 3 who had unlocked the level "Queen" they would have received a reward from one of the largest video game production companies and only 3 people would have had the chance with funding from the university and this video game production company to create their own virtual game, but he would not have imagined that his life at that exact moment could change with the entry into play of a noisy Cheerleader, who spent hours in their shared bathroom to make masks or to prepare to go out and tease him from morning to night.
He heard loud punches at the door of his apartment and when he took off his headphones he thought that those punches meant only one thing, His friends Jake and Jay had finished football practice and had come to disturb him or eat a cup of ramen together but when he opened the door he choked on his own because he found himself in front of a girl in a mini denim skirt and tight t-shirt with I ♡ HOT BOYS, Blonde as a ray of sunshine with a bright smile and a scent that left a sweet trail every time she shook her long tail of hair and with a bag of lacquered leather that had to cost more than her computer and a pink suitcase. It didn’t take a genius to figure out who he was. Y/n, one of the strongest cheerleaders on campus and perhaps all other universities, a marketing student and undisputed queen of the campus. She organized the best parties and seemed to always have the answer ready for any situation.
"Hey, i know you’re a nerd and you don’t deal with girls but are you listening to me instead of looking at me like i’m an alien?" Heeseung fixed Y/n’s shirt and felt the cheeks slightly redden when he read the entire I ♡ HOT BOYS writing and looked at how well it wrapped the shirt slightly tight in the breast of the girl in front of him.
"You’re kidding me, right? What if you are one of those perverts who come to the instant only at the sight of a girl in a slightly tapered T-shirt and a skirt? Did you hear what I just said a few seconds ago?"
Finally Y/n heard the voice of Heeseung «I don’t even know what you’re talking about Barbie, i think you’ve got the wrong apartment» replied Hee with an indifferent tone, returning to his room to continue his game of League of Legends. His online teammates were already complaining about his afk.
“Barbie? Are you serious?" Y/n entered his apartment and like a puppy followed the nerd and went into his room and stared at him with a mixture of contempt and disbelief.
"The lease says this is also my apartment and you will be my roommate for next year, Lee Heeseung."
Heeseung froze when he heard that sentence. He paused the game, ignoring the barrage of insults he was receiving in the game’s chat, and turned to her. «Wait. What would your apartment be like? This is my room for...now a year and in the option, i always put that i did not want roommates and then the other room sometimes I need!»
"Well, now that room will be mine. My parents bought the whole student building and the only apartment where there was only one person was yours. Congratulations, nerd. You’ve got the roommate of your nightmares or maybe your most perverse dreams" You whispered these last words near his ear and then you went to get your pink suitcase and to disturb your roommate I played one of the songs that you were supposed to dance on the football field for the beginning of the new season and sang until your room was slightly "Decent" and clean to your standards.
It was two weeks since the beginning of the partnership and you couldn’t stand Heeseung, he was a serious pain in your neck, You didn’t understand how he had so many followers in his profile and so many girls who commented on his life or who added edit about him while playing. Some girls stopped you to ask if he was engaged or if you had taken part in watching him in one of the many tournaments he did. You really hated that nerd especially when you found empty bowls of ramen around the apartment, colored electric cables scattered around the sofa, and Joysticks of shapes and sizes of verse scattered as well in the laundry but the thing you hated most was that he played until late at night and started laughing with his virtual friends at those stupid games or tournaments you always heard about.
The hatred was mutual also on the part of Heeseung, the cheerleader with whom he shared the apartment had monopolized the bathroom they had in common hair dryers, plates with strange shapes, tricks that cost more than the food she ate, glitter, and also bought a kind of mini refrigerator to put his masks or creams for skin care. Heeseung didn’t understand how everyone was following him or how he had so many friends or guys to go out with but the thing that he couldn’t stand about you was being perfect with everyone from the professors, To your friends, family and how you thought you were always the center of attention.
That late afternoon you and Heeseung were both in the apartment, trying to study business but as always when there was Heeseung at home there was never silence. You snorted and went into Heeseung’s room and watched him sitting in the gamer’s station with his hair slightly ruffled around the professional headphones, he had a slight grin but the thing that struck you most were his hands.
God since when did that boy have such attractive hands? They were large, slightly veiny, and wore a silver and black ring that sometimes tortured them for anxiety or maybe to wait for the next level, you recovered from that state and went near the desk.
Heeseung had noticed you but he didn’t want to give you the satisfaction of being in the center of attention and kept on wielding his joystick even though he was about to start a game. “Can you turn that down? I’m studying." Heeseung watched you speak, a slight puff came out of his lips as he took off his headphones and wore them around his neck. «What do you want, Barbie?»
"I said if you can please turn down that volume, I’m trying to study."
«And you can stop occupying the bathroom for three hours or sprinkling blue and gold glitter in the bathroom? The other day while I was training, i found a flurry of glitter in my gym shirt, and some thought i joined your flying spinner team!» He answered, not taking his eyes off the monitor while dodging a zombie.
Heeseung looked at you with those little deer eyes put his headphones back on and kept talking to his friends as if you’d never even entered his room until he saw you go under his table for a second and sit between his muscular legs, when you sat down you sunned yourself to look at him and observed the small ones that filled his face. Hee stood still for a moment, caught unawares, but he recovered immediately.
«What are you doing? Do you want to sabotage me? You can’t go to one of the many little friends» he asked with a somewhat grumpy tone. You wanted to take him by surprise and see how long it lasted not to give your attention
"I’m just checking your level of concentration. Don’t tell me I’m the first girl to sit over your legs or do this. You know, as an experienced cheerleader, I enjoy distracting nerds like you." Y/n moved slightly above Heeseung’s legs and watched him straighten his hair perhaps out of frustration or embarrassment.
Heeseung laughed slowly, trying not to show her that she was slightly in awe of the blonde sitting almost above her length.
«You know, I knew that I was a temptress and that I had no fear of anything Y/n but spoiler does not scare me either because I’m used to going into video games of wars, zombies, demons, etc» Y/n started laughing and looked at Heeseung
"How do you know those animated things are scary? Let me see I’m curious, nerd."
Heeseung pressed a button and an unsettling scene appeared on the screen: a dark corridor, distant moans, and a shadow creeping slowly into the bloodshot view with eyes out of its sockets. Y/n barely jerked, unintentionally clinging to Hee’s shirt.
"What the hell was that monster?" she exclaimed, opening her eyes wide as a zombie made a chilling sound and hurled itself toward the screen. Hee burst out laughing, holding the controller with ease. Oh, I thought cheerleaders were not afraid of anything. What happened to your courage?» Heeseung looked at you carefully and thought you were not as bad as his mind had painted you but he would never tell you
Y/n turned around, pretending to be upset. "I’m not afraid! It’s just... I didn’t expect it."
«Yes, Barbie. You were shaking like a cat in the rain.»
"I don’t tremble! and I’m not a coward, if I was afraid I would not be thrown by human beings for air as work," said Y/n, straining his shoulders in a theatrical move. " If you want, I’ll take the controller and I’ll kill that thing."
«Oh, yes? please, come in. Let’s see the cheerleader against the zombie. And it has nothing to do with people blowing you up Barbie, if you’re not used to a little horror you’ll always be afraid» You felt Heeseung whispering these things to you and where was the nerd from before who was in awe with you sitting between his legs?
Y/n took the controller with determined action and started playing. Hee looked at her with a restrained smile as she moved nervously through the virtual corridor. «Why are you moving like that? No need, your character does not follow you! If you’re doing it to get my attention all on yourself Barbie did it, so stop moving between my legs and rub against my length because you will never win the level» You hated how that nerd made you feel. The tension increased with each step and suddenly a zombie broke down a side door with a scream. Y/n shouted and almost threw the controller.
"YOU NERDS ARE CRAZY. THIS IS A GAME FOR PSYCHOPATHS!"
Heeseung laughed so hard he couldn’t breathe. «You’re incredible! You screamed louder than the zombie! Oh my god, it would have been iconic if it had been live streaming» Y/n stood up how angry but at the same time scared, and ran into his room until he heard Heeseung yell «I have all the cards in hand too win this game between me and you, not play with fire that sooner or later you will burn. Sweet dreams, Barbie» hit your face with your hairy pillow and Lee Heeseung in all the languages of the world.
It was almost a week after that little clash with Heeseung and for two whole nights, you had not slept properly for your standard because you always had in mind those horrible images of zombies with eyes out of the orbites.
«You are a little tired and less energetic Y/n, is everything all right?» Chan asked one of your group’s dancers and one of the few athletes you trusted to get you thrown in the air
"Yes, it’s all right I’m just a little tired of the exams and the selections we would have in the middle of the year. I would like to try to run as captain for the new year and that’s why I’m creating a choreography to run" Chan arranged the sheet you had on your head and smiled at you
«Please do not ask too much of yourself Y/n, The genta thinks this sport is nonsense but I would not want to see you again bandaged and in the hospital while crying because you could not move your leg or because your mind had made you think that you were not perfect for this sport and skipped meals or hours of sleep»
"It won’t happen again Chan, now I go home and make a good hot ramen and a nice hot shower to get all this sweat away and sleep until tomorrow morning at 10" Chan smiled at you and brought the bag until you were under your apartment
«Take care of yourself Y/n, and if you do not ask your roommate to prepare a nice basin of hot water for your feet and make ramen, Every time I get videos of Heeseung on Twitch or Tik Tok always has a bowl of ramen" the smiles and when you came in you raised your eyes, God because everyone saw Heeseung as the perfect boy and not as a loser who spent hours and hours playing those stupid games.
When you entered the apartment scientists immediately it was cold enough for your taste and on the sofa there was Heeseung who was watching a TV series to your great surprise he wasn’t playing any of those games and this thing made you alarmed because he always spent the evening At least 3 hours to laugh with his friends. Perhaps he had understood that you needed a good evening without hearing him giggle or hear from his headphones moans of zombies just killed or guns.
"Why aren’t you playing? Don’t tell me that all your friends have you pulled little and you have no one here to shoot or play" Heeseung raised his eyes and continued to eat and pay attention to the TV series he had put on the TV.
"Hey nerd, you listening? why is it so cold in here I’m going to ask you again why you’re not in your room?" Heeseung suddenly stood up and stood in front of you, you hadn’t looked at how he was dressed and had two sweatshirts and some sweatpants that he never wore inside the apartment because it usually made more than 20 degrees but now it must have been just over 10 degrees.
«The heating system of the whole building is out of use for a couple of hours and before the day after tomorrow will not be adjusted Barbie, for that you see me dressed so stuffed. You’ll have to take a cold shower today or you could call some of your friends and get them to host you» You jumped onto the sofa and made yourself slightly tiny in Heeseung’s eyes
"today is a day to forget in the sense of the word, I did not pass an exam and at Cheerliding I made mistakes I do not know how many steps I would just like to take a nice hot shower, eat some good ramen and put myself to bed warm" Heeseung looked at you and I made him a little pity where the girl had gone always exuberant, cheerful and that played music to the ball and that danced for everything?
«Relax for the ramen I can think of it, I am a master in doing so and if you want I can heat water and put it in baccinelle. I know it won’t be as relaxing as taking a shower with a full hot water shower but at least you can wash yourself and get rid of the sweat from your training»
Heeseung a little amazed and speechless, I did so with my head and you watched Heeseung prepare the ramen for you and even put an egg to you to be seasoned more.
«Here is the ramen, I hope you like it you would have made it with more ingredients but it’s been 2 days that I did not go to the grocery. Now.. Yes, I’ll make you some hot water and bring it to the bathroom. Come and see me when you’re done and leave the dish that I washed» You were seriously surprised by this version of Heeseung, is it not that maybe he suffered from some kind of bipolar disorder? Or was this the real Heeseung that everyone loved?
When you finished eating you went to the bathroom and prepared 4 basins of boiling water in the sink you had also put on a plush over-stuffed sweatshirt and a small smile formed, what is happening to Heeseung because he was so good today with you?
The shower with the basins had not you relaxed at all but at least you were washed and no longer had that smell of sweat, when you left Heeseung was no longer on the sofa, you wanted to thank him for both food and hot water and then knocked on his door.
"Heeseung" From the inside, you heard the familiar sound of the keyboard and a few nervous clicks of the mouse. And you heard his answer distractedly because he was concentrating on some computer calculations
«Yes? What is it?»
You entered without waiting for an invitation and crossed your arms for the cold. God, why is it so cold in this house? You wanted to ask Heeseung to share the bed so you could at least stay close and get a little warm but we are always talking about Heeseung the guy who loved to tease you and make you go crazy. Heeseung looked up, noticing his oversized t-shirt and his sweatshirt on the girl in front of him, he would never admit it but you with his clothes made him feel things that he should not think about you, He always wanted to see you with his things and a side of possessiveness intruded into his body. The sight of you made him swallow noisily, but he strove to keep a neutral expression.
"I wanted to thank you for the food and the hot water... I thought maybe we could share the bed. Just to keep warm. Just for this evening, I called my parents and they told me that tomorrow morning the technician will come. In my room it freezes so I thought to ask you" You had a fake smile shy, you wanted to absolutely embarrass him as he did while playing together with those stupid horror games
Heeseung opened his eyes wide and his mouse slipped out of his hand. God wanted to put him in awe
«what?! I don’t trust you at all Y/n, I know that after making you scared with that game you want to crash me» You raised your eyes to the sky, as if it were the most normal thing in the world, man this guy had understood you immediately but you kept insisting
"Oh, relax. It’s not an indecent proposal. Except that I would never do anything with you, you’re not my type Heeseung. It’s pure survival. We’ll freeze both or keep company and sleep together and warm up a little"
Hee rubbed her neck, embarrassed. He has no idea how to respond. Share the bed with Y/n, the most popular girl she knows. He’s never even been this close to a cheerleader... and now he has to share a bed but the thing that pissed him off was that phrase that said he wasn’t his type at all. Who wanted Y/n in his life? a stupid boy who made him feel nothing or he who always teased her and had seen how she reacted when she sat between her legs that was a little embarrassed also.
Heeseung moved nervously to make room on the bed, trying not to think too much about it as she tucked herself under the duvet with disarmingly natural ease. Y/n sat down next to him and made his feet touch his legs against his
"You’re made of wood, you know? Don’t tell me it’s the first time you've slept or that you’re in bed with a girl, nerd" you joked with Hee to embarrass him a little
«Sorry, I don’t share my bed every day with some girl»
"Really? You wouldn’t know it, you can even admit that you’ve never slept with someone you know" he slowly grinds, moving closer.
Heeseung was definitely tired from the constant grip of the cheerleader so he took off his sweatshirt because he was definitely dying from the heat in that situation and he lay down in bed and spread his legs a little because he did not want to feel Y/n’s legs intertwined with his. Y/n had leaned with an arm and was absorbing it and without thinking embraced the piece of wood next to her and a scent of citrus and spices invaded his nose, Heeseung seriously had a slender body but at the same time toned and felt from the shirt that he had strong abs, not bad for a nerd!
«Y/n, what did you take me for? for your giant teddy bear that you have in your room?» You laughed because even if you could not stand it sometimes it was nice to be in his company.
"Mmm, no my teddy is definitely sweeter and nicer than you, nerd. I’m hugging you because I’m cold and your temperature is too hot to not have the heat on" Heeseung ran his hands through his hair and turned off the lights, for a couple of minutes he no longer heard Y/n speak, and thought she had fallen asleep but before talking about the devil they sprang horns, felt the cold fingers of Y/n go under the shirt and roll them up their bare abs, He felt little shivers all over his body and cursed the heating not working.
«Y/n, stop it I know what game you are playing with me, I will not fall into your trap» you started to laugh even if he had turned off the light could imagine that he had slightly red cheeks and definitely had that super cute grumpy. You also put your other hand on its narrow waist and tried to go a little lower but a strong hand stopped you and now you had your arm over your head and Heeseung slightly above you holding himself with one arm.
«I repeat it again Y/n, I have all the cards in hand to pottery beat, if you are in need of attention go to your friend's football players, or swimmers with whom you do evening but not with me because otherwise, I could ruin you in an instant» You snorted and shoved Heeseung into the other side of the bed and you sunned yourself with your shoulders turned to him. "Sooner or later you will lose Heeseung, and I know for certain that it will be me who will make you lose your head" A small smile formed on your lips before you fell asleep.
Heeseung woke up a little later that morning, you were out of bed, you had gone to study somewhere or to work out. When he went into the bathroom and looked back he started to ride but I swore in all the languages of the world because you had left him a red lipstick stain with your lips engraved on his cheek and the more he tried to send away that joke, the harder it was to remove.
That Saturday went all wrong, the university football team had lost badly and even the show you had prepared to make the majors identify you as suitable to take the place of captain was a mess. Some freshmen had it all wrong and you were seriously pissed off and wanted to just smash yourself in ice cream and finally spend hours under the jet of boiling water they had repaired.
When you came in, you slammed the door of the apartment, with a face tense from anger. You dropped your bag on the floor with a thud. It had been a nightmare day. During the show before the match, a couple of girls continued to make you miss all the shots, and the coach took it with you in front of everyone because if you wanted to become the captain you had to be perfect and able to support also freshman line.
You were about to head for your room when you heard laughter coming from the living room. Heeseung’s familiar voice is clearly distinguished, and also that of Sunghoon one of his closest friends who was skating, and there was also another athlete Jungwon but along with them, there was also a girl. Y/n stood on the threshold, crossing his arms.
On the two chairs, there were Hoon and Jungwon, instead Heeseung was sitting with legs apart, bent forward to look at the screen and see how he smiled or squinted at Heeseung. She was way too close. She had Sunghoon in the same room who was one of the most beautiful guys I’d ever seen, but no she was attached to Hee.
"Well, look at that, our gamer has found someone who gives him a go," you commented in a deliberately sharp tone.
All turned to her. Heeseung seemed surprised, but he recovered immediately and saw that it was past 10 in the evening so the game had ended a long time ago. «Hey, Barbie. Difficult day? don’t tell me that the football team lost» he asked, with a smirk, and raised your eyes to the sky.
"Oh, don’t worry about me. It seems like you’re having enough fun already."
The girl next to Hee laughed, and for some reason, that sound irritated you more than it should have. <<If you want I can leave my place Y/n>> says Jungwon with a genuine smile, man how much gold would have paid to have as a roommate a person like Jungwon always nice and sociable with everyone that loser from Heeseung?
"No, no, quiet Jungwon I’m going to take a nice hot shower and some healthy skincare for my skin. I already greeted you all because I don’t know when I’ll get out of that bathroom" You went to the bathroom and felt the look of Heeseung in your body covered only by a shabby skirt and a light sweatshirt but you scrolled away all the slacks with a nice warm bath.
After almost two hours you left the bathroom in your pajamas and at the door, Heeseung’s friends were getting ready to go home, you were preparing a calming herbal tea but you watched the first girl named Luna greet Heeseung with a hug and then with a shy kiss on the cheek. That scene made you even more angry against the world, from what point did you get annoyed by girls around that nerd?
"Really, Heeseung? Bring people here without telling me? And then that girl... who the hell was she? We agreed that when I had a show when I came home I wanted to be at peace"
Heeseung stood in the middle of the living room, an eyebrow raised but with a funny look
«Does it bother you that I had friends here? What should I say when you take your best friends to make your beautiful pajamas that scream or speak of everyone or is it only Luna who has bothered you because you have always made enough friends with all my friends?» You looked at the nerd in front of you and crossed your arms.
"Don’t be smart. I hate that you don’t even have the decency to tell me when you bring people. Aren’t we roommates?"
Hee barely smiled, a smile that seemed to know long.
«You and I are roommates, so why do you seem so... jealous and upset by the presence of Luna?» You looked at him furiously, approaching a few steps.
"Me? Jealous? Of you? Don’t make me laugh, you know you’re not my type."
«Then why are you so agitated?» he replied, standing up to approach you. Heeseung not only looked beautiful but also his height was perfect, you always liked tall guys and he with his 1.83 compared to your 1.65 was overtaking you. You felt the tension grow between you two. you approached again and pushed it slightly with a hand on your chest.
"Maybe because I can’t stand when you’re bragging about your "friends," I saw how comfortable you were and how you flirted with her. You pretend to be the "good guy" of the situation but we all know that underneath you love seeing girls lost for you"
Heeseung looked at you for a few seconds, then shook his head with an incredulous grin.
«You know what? You’re unbearable when you do that, what is it you want to always be the center of attention barbie? the world does not only revolve around you»
"Oh, stop it, you’re so annoying from the first day that I set foot in here with your little smirk cheeky" you answered with your face now a few inches from his.
Heeseung was definitely tired of your spoiled behavior and even as a child he did the last thing he expected to do but he wanted so much to silence you and put you in your place. You felt yourself by the wrists and Heeseung gently slammed you against the island of the small kitchen.
«Stop» he said in a rock and still voice. You looked at him wide-eyed, ready to reply, but the words stuck in your throat when he leaned over and kissed you. The kiss is initially decided, almost to silence you, but then it becomes sweeter as if he was also surprised by his own boldness. You were slightly still for a moment then you relaxed and carried your arms around his neck and brought him closer to you. You felt his big hands under your ass and in a few moments he made you lean on the kitchen island and began to kiss you again or not devour you «Fuck, the only way to make you shut up is this Barbie? , if I knew it before I would have made you quiet in other ways, Y/n» You absolutely wanted to reply but when it detached from your lips he plunged to give light kisses around the clavicle until reaching your neck, a little moan came out of your lips when it began to torture you a small section of your neck under the ear, you felt that it was licking and then biting. Your coach would kill you if she saw some suckers but at that moment you were too much at the mercy of Heeseung and what he made you try; "Hee, stop torturing me I can’t be seen with a" You did not stop talking that you sucked strongly another area of your neck and pulled as much as possible his hair.
What you were doing was absolutely nothing normal but you felt too excited to stand between him, you felt Hee come even closer to you and you perceived its hard length in the pants of the suit she wore, You tried to approach him and touch him but he took your arm and brought it back to the shed.
«I don’t give a fuck if your coach tomorrow sees you with some pacifiers and don’t try to touch me, I don’t let the bad girls put their hands on me, and this evening you were a bad girl rather you behaved like a child and spoiled» You felt the big hand of Heeseung to slightly bloom your pants and felt your panties slightly wet and Heeseung had an expression that you had never seen perhaps victory? His hands made little circles over your pajamas but never took them off because in his eyes you were definitely a bad girl that night without thinking touched your pussy and stimulated you until you felt that from there you would come like a loser with both pants and panties around, You leaned on him and when you felt that you were coming to the climax but he detached and looked at you with all red cheeks.
"It can’t be, you’re really an asshole Heeseung" Heeseung looked at you with a grin and whispered to you «We are already 2-0 for me Barbie, when will you start to understand that with me you’ll burn yourself?» You watched him drink a glass of water and then go to his room as if he had not almost made you come in your underwear and as if you did not exist.
It was a week after those kisses, either Y/n tried in any way to avoid Heeseung and the thing was mutual with him as well. His best friends Jay and Jake had invited him to the last half-season game and with him were Hoon, and Jungwon, But he did not realize that before the game there was the show of the Cheerleaders and in front of his eyes there was Y/ n who was warming with other dancers both male and female. He watched her carefully trying to do a handless somersault and after a few seconds Chan one of the best and most famous dancers on the entire campus took her by the hips and made her lightly jump off the ground and put it over his shoulder, He knew that Y/n was good because she spent hours and hours training but did not think that she had so much charisma and ease to make such a lot of acrobatic. Heeseung looked away from the beautiful cheerleader for a moment and saw Sunoo take it back and give him a hint with his thumb.
"Why are you filming Y/n?" Sunoo looked at the oldest boy in the group with a smile and continued recording
<<I’m making some content for her team’s tik tok and Instagram profile, she asked me the day before yesterday when I saw her in the library>> Heeseung looked at Y/n smiled at Chan, and hugged him slightly, Why did you ask Sunoo to be your little filmmaker and not him who lived on technology? And then why did he embrace Chan so often, relationships between athletes were forbidden but a sense of jealousy took hold in Heeseung, and watched from the edge Y/n field that he was fixing his makeup.
Y/n for her knew that Heeseung was watching her since she had left the locker room but she would not give him his attention for anything in the world because he was seriously an asshole.
<<Your favorite nerd can not take his eyes off you for 20 minutes and is throwing me some hateful looks as if he tried to kill me with an axe or a virtual gun>> You wake up to the joke of Chan and you squatted to pretend to lace your shoes and sunflowers Heeseung’s head and eyes were watching you and you saw him turn all red when you caught him looking at your ass even though it was barely covered by a short skirt the smiles and I made the mark of 2 with my hands because he was still ahead between you two but in added a 1 because even if he did not want to admit it would also sacrifice a game of those stupid tournaments to have you and to make you his, He winked and was petrified to watch you enter the locker room to give the charge to everyone and to start the show before the half-year game.
The game ended in a beautiful victory and you came home to take a quick shower, put on makeup, and dress up for the winter party. When you entered the house there was nobody and it seemed so boring and at the same calm, there were no screams of Heeseung, the laughter of his friends, There were no sounds of gunshots or moans of evil characters and this thing made you a little bit sorry you didn’t want to admit it but by now you were used to all that mess and see the apartment empty and without the blue lights of the computer or smart tv, you put a little sadness. When you left the bathroom you felt a delicious smell coming from the kitchen and at that moment you did not think that Heeseung could return so soon, You went to the kitchen, and Heeseung when he saw you dressed as you were, looked at you with a furious look but at the same time, he saw that it was hard to take your eyes off of how he wrapped your short skirt, a light crop top sweater and on your feet you had black loafers with ankle warmers.
«Where do you think you are going dressed like that? you studied all this morning and this afternoon you trained and not even two hours ago you blew up I don’t know how many times, It’s not better to ask for a break from your body and stay at home» watch Heeseung from the mirror you had at the entrance of the apartment with a grin and sprayed a little perfume and set up your cheerleader bow in your straight hair
"Wow, someone’s in a bad mood didn’t you like the show or the game? I’m going to a party. You know, those social things that normal people do for fun, to drink, to chat, or maybe to be in the company of a nice guy or girl!" You squinted at Heeseung and he had his arms crossed to his chest and wouldn’t stop staring at you «I know what Barbie parties are, just don’t understand why you have to dress like..» you approached him and looked at him with a smile, maybe for the first time in your life you had the knife’s handle on your side the nerd in front of you was seriously jealous.
"How what? A girl who knows she’s irresistible and wants to go out and have fun with her friends? How should I dress to go to a party, certainly not with a pair of sweatpants or a sweatshirt" Heeseung looked at you attentively and saw him blush as you pressed your breasts to her strong chest and flushed from that little touch with your body.
"Relax, nerd. I can handle the compliments myself. You don’t need to worry." You took your Chanel bag and went to the door and looked at Heeseung leaning against the wall with that adorable little grumpy and his deer eyes that didn’t leave a moment. " Don’t expect me awake. I might be late or not even come home."
Heeseung when he saw you leaving the house and leaving a sweet scent whispered «Oh, I will wait for you Barbie.»
When you came back to the apartment it was around one and a half at night, I took off my boots and sighing for fatigue went to your room but before entering I saw Heeseung sitting on the bed wiping his hair wet with a cloth, He had just come out of the shower because there was that citrus scent coming out of the bathroom and you raised a eyebrow curious to see him still awake, if you had made it clear to him that he could go to sleep.
"Why are you still awake? Didn’t I tell you not to wait for me? Don’t tell me you were worried about me and that you wanted to see me safely back home without anyone."
«I admit it I was just worried and wanted to see how you yourself said that you would come home with your legs»
"How sweet. I didn’t know you were so protective." You put your bag on the desk and sat down on the edge of the bed watching Heeseung while he rubbed his hair and stared at you with sneaky eyes Your legs were almost completely uncovered and how he showed you the curves especially your breasts that sweater shrunk
«It’s not protectiveness. It’s frustration. I can’t understand why you enjoy teasing everyone... including me. What do you want Y/n?» a small smile came out of your lips and to Heeseung’s surprise you put on horseshoes in his toned legs and carefully dried the hair half gone for how many times he had passed the cloth to dry them while waiting for you
"Am I the one who provokes? One week ago you almost made me come in my pants and then you left like a loser without completing the work." Heeseung tried to put his hands on your hips but you took his big hands and placed them over his chest, "Don’t dare touch me until I tell you, the last time I was acting jealous or maybe like a child but this night you were the loser of the situation that in order not to admit that you wanted me you left me to go to a mega boring party"
You helped Heeseung to take off her shirt and a little whistle came out of your lips "How can you have such a physique and not show it off?" You began to slowly rock over its width felt it under you become harder and harder and you started kissing its neck until you reached below the navel. Heeseung had dreamed of this moment from the first time he saw you enter his apartment, he would never admit it but masturbated even thinking of you and was seriously afraid to come if you would continue to swing with that miniskirt that now let you all the thighs uncovered and saw your black panties in lace.
«I need to hear you somehow or show you that I’m not a loser as you think Y/n, please let me make you feel good and let me finish what I had started; I hate to pause the gaming games the same thing goes for you Barbie» Heeseung with reddish cheeks and eyes half-shiny desire and gently laid you down in his place and bent down to make you feel good, you made the sign to take off your skirt but he did no head and a grin formed in his face «I want to make you come with this skirt of a bad girl and then you will take my dick» you were seriously shocked by Heeseung’s words that you wanted to tease him again but your voice stopped when you felt the fingers slipping into your still-dressed slot and Heeseung’s slightly wet hair buried under your skirt, You jumped at him as you felt his middle finger and ring slide down your pussy while with the other hand, he suddenly took off your panties in a provocative way. He looked at your panties for a moment and then dived back under your skirt and you felt her finger on your palm clit with her thumb. You crave the feeling, of holding tight to his arms, the longer he pleased your clitoris, the sooner you would lose control of yourself and that was what Heeseung wanted, to see you lost to him. And in the end, you were just giving in to what your body wanted: rubbing against that annoying nerd’s hand, you felt his fingers get inside of you for good, and little moans came out of your mouth.
«Fuck love to hear your moans, and groans for me Y/n, make everyone feel who is fucking you and who is ruining only with two fingers inside of you, I can not wait to see you ride my dick and be able to have you finally mine»
You pulled Hee’s hair and small moans came out of your mouth as fast as her fingers went inside you at that moment.
"Hee, I need" fuck was nice to be filled by his long fingers. You felt his fingers curl inside, and you closed your mouth with your hand, afraid to wake up anyone who was sleeping. Annoyed, Heeseung pulled his hand away from you and admired you as you had your mouth open, hair in his bed, and were standing up for him and not one of those stupid athletes who came after you.
«Come for me baby, don’t be shy» felt that you taunted your clitoris again and came moaning again the name of Heeseung, The nerd under your skirt slowly tasted the mess that had caused you and tasted your shiny white cum that polished your pussy. When he got up he looked at you and leaned to give you a little kiss on the forehead «Good girl», after a while you got your arms around Heeseung’s neck and kissed him with a hunger for him and pushed him back into bed and rode over him to his cock.
"I need you Heeseung" The guy in front of you interrupted the kisses you were giving and looked at you with a shy and sincere smile, «Fuck tell me that I’m not dreaming Y/n, it’s months that I want you close around me, for me this is not a game Y/n» You smiled at Heeseung and took off the light sweater you had and the boy in front of you cheeks turned red and took off your breast-holder with nonchalance and immediately took a bud from your breast and with the other hand held you and tickled the other breast.
"Not for me either Hee this is a game, I want it" A little moan came out of you when he sucked slightly your nipple and a little spit went down your left breast repeated this thing also with the other. You really needed him so you lowered his pants and at the same time boxer shorts and saw his cock semi-erect, caressed him slowly but after a while you started to pump him slightly, It was beautiful to see him swearing under the sensation of your warm hand, slowly pumping it and observing the way his tip leaked copiously liquid.
«I thought of you I don’t know how many times in these months in this exact position...» mumbles, slightly shivering, «please Y/n, I need you» A little laugh came out from your lips, you had never seen Heeseung in this state and it was only thanks to you.
"You know we’re tied right now Heeseung, you seem so desperate for me right now. If you want fuck me”. he sent you a charming smile before pulling down your hips with that slutty skirt still on you; he wheezes sweetly at the feeling of your pussy flying around her tip, already able to feel your exhaling excitement before you finally slowly sink over him.
"Fuck, oh shit Hee" You were seriously ecstatic by the length of Heeseung inside you, and slowly you moved to let it in and out so that your bodies lined up and went at a rhythm.
«God you are so tight» You felt his big hands under your ass and brought you even closer to him and you put your hands over his back to ride it harder. «Who is fucking you so well, Barbie?» You felt again his thumb rub your wet pussy as you took his cock up on the ground and hit exactly your G-spot to make you moan his name. " You, Hee, only you Heeseung"
Heeseung began to leave open-mouthed kisses along the column of your throat, climbing up, climbing up until finally reaching your ear, leaving a kiss behind it before whispering: «You are mine and from this moment I will not share you with anyone»
By the time he pushed back in you could already feel the tears ticking your eyes: you’re loud and cheeky in your sounds as he starts hammering you again because he knows it’s coming soon and he wanted to feel your body again, you felt your back curl from the way Hee’s hand started to rub your clitoris again, you could only groan softly for feeling, Allowing him to play with you as if you were his own game or even worse his favorite toy.
"Hee, I’m close."
«Come for me Barbie, I want to feel and see you with my sperm in all your beautiful pussy that right now is taking my cock»
Finally allows herself to come inside you, you can hear Hee sibilate softly for the sensation, triggering her orgasm while you whimper for all the sensations you had experienced thanks to that loser of your roommate. You’re hot and full to the point that it’s already started to leak out, and Heeseung swears he’s never seen a better show, and you’re burying your head in the hollow of your neck.
You felt Hee give you a little kiss on the head and then on the forehead and put you lying in her bed and after a few seconds of silence she went to get you some warm clothes and cleaned you from her cum and put you her clean boxers and her crumpled nerd t-shirt and brought you to my bride in your bed, Your cheeks were seriously all red and maybe you were also agitated because now things would go with him?
When he put you under the covers you saw him lay an arm around your waist and look at you smiling softly move a rebellious tuft from your face around your ear give you a light kiss on the cheek and lay down with his head leaning close to your neck and crossed your legs. You were seriously surprised by his attitude but maybe underneath he also felt emotions like a classic twenty-year-old boy and you embraced him a little timidly because you had never seen this act of Heeseung.
«We are 3-2» You started again with your joke but in your head, you were 2-2.
"What did I do this time to get you back in the game? It seems we are still 2-2" You felt his nose close to your neck and started laughing, he did not want to admit but for him that three were you. He would be able to skip a session of video game tournaments to make you happy and maybe he was falling in love with you but he would never admit it if you didn’t do it first, because the weak point of the situation was him not you.
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