#this is based on a true story btw

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

Sometimes, when I'm playing Among Us with my friends, I start to doubt whether or not I'm playing it right. Like...am I actually supposed to be doing tasks right now? What if I'm supposed to be killing people

I think I've got imposter syndrome

[retreattocelestialbodies]

me: mmm yay food i have to eat with a fork! {oh no food is hot} me: *chews on my fork* the ant: where is the punchline

[yanderespamton78]

average shower experience

ok. its been 2 days since you last showered its shower time. okay so we cant stall you have things to do. we are going to get into the shower. then we are gonna wash hair and condition hair and allat. okay. we are not gonna get distracted. no getting distracted. okay time to get in okay okay stay on track rinse hair rinse hair rinse hair rinse hair rins- ooo sponge

[dyinggoosenoises]

“Hey are you done that book report? It’s due today”

“I’m almost done” I say, as I open an empty slide show that I was supposed to have started 6 weeks ago

[jaredthebc]

How people see me on Tumblr: A bit chill, laid back, maybe overly passionate but that isn't a bad thing

Me on a discord vc: "EUGH...guys don't eat drywall"

[vampiredungeon]

Goodreads is really fun because you’ll find a list called “the greatest books of the 21st century” or something and the first book on the list is twilight and you’re like goddamn I hate twilight how’s it winning? So you go into the comments to find someone else complaining about twilight but to your horror everyone else is raving about the series and just as you’re about to comment your hatred of the book you see a guy named Tom. Tom keeps writing long winded comments about how he thinks twilight is a insult to literature and that there’s so many better books to be on the list instead etc etc and he keeps getting ripped to shreds by everyone else in the comments so you think huh maybe I should help him out here but just before you click reply you notice Tom’s profile picture is an old white guy and old white guys on goodreads usually have weird opinions so you decide to check his profile real quick and at first nothing looks wrong he lives in the us and his bio says something like “married, 3 kids, civil engineer” pretty standard for old white guys on goodreads so then you go and check out his favorites shelf but it’s all full of history and philosophy books you’ve never heard of before so you decide to compare your books and again at first nothing seems too weird most of the books you two have in common are just some classics you both left unrated and you’re about to close out of his profile when you see that he gave the really cool book you read couple months ago only one star unlike your five and he also left a review for it. So you click on the review and you’re a little nervous because one star is pretty harsh and that cool book had a lot of diversity and old white guys on goodreads love to bitch about diversity but you give him the benefit of the doubt and assume Tom just didn’t like the slower plot or the sometimes dull dialogue and then you start reading the review and are immediately blasted by sentence after sentence of: “Horrible woke pandering” “A disgrace to the genre” “Unnecessary social commentary” “Disrespectful to my IQ level” The review is paragraphs long and feels never ending and you desperately scroll through the rant hoping to find someone replying to Tom calling him out but instead you find the review has 62 likes and anyone who commented on it was applauding Tom for his bravely at speaking up against the woke mob you bite your fingers to stop yourself from replying to Tom and everyone in his comments calling them all ignorant cunts because while that would be satisfying you know none of them are going to give a fuck and you’ll probably just get your comment reported for harassment or something so instead you just close out of his profile and then you close goodreads and then you turn off your computer and drive it an hour to the nearest lake and you stand on the shore for a bit debating whether or not you throw it in but you eventually decide not to because it was kinda expensive and what are you going to do without a computer so you drive an hour back home but it actually takes longer then an hour because its dark now and it started raining so you take it extra slow and by the time you get back home it’s even darker and it’s gotten a lot colder too especially because you took off your sweatshirt to wrap around your computer because you don’t want it to get wet and your fingers are shaking pretty bad so you drop your keys twice trying to unlock your front door but by the time you do make it in you decide to take a nice long hot shower and about a half a second before the water hits your face you remember your hot water heater broke yesterday.

[goodoldfashionedengineer]

Teacher: Sorry for being late, in exchange, we'll end the lesson earlier

Jason Todd, aka 'Robin': (⁠●_⁠●⁠)

(internally: *appalled* how can the lesson be shortened when we already began later, the math doesn't add up)

----

Jason Todd, aka 'Red Hood', being particularly mad at the Batfam over something: Sorry for being late for the mission. In exchange, I'll end my part of it earlier

[quillpokebiology]

Thinking about that one Blaziken on that cooking show who refused to eat food shaped like Torchic

[sp1resong]

mspaint soul ocd compilation (some serious, some nonsensical, some both, some neither)

[tasenwrobots]

Just because he's peepaw doesn't mean he's not Leo.

You have no idea how long this has been on my mind. He's been waiting to say this for fucking decades, literally.

[gemgdynamight0]

This is me trying to impress my crush with my cooking skills:

Katsuki after shoto praised him so he's blushing furiously inside but had to be his usual tsundere:

He's such a nagging wife and shoto is his loving husband "it was me, my love"

[hitsuyou-fukaketsu]

Enstarrie drama doesn't stop outside the internet

Doing this with @yume-fanfare ! Their comms are open rn, check them out <3

[windchime-an0n]

dreams are so silly because last night i dreamt that people were trying to kill me and they attempted to stab my heart and cut off my arm but it was okay because i somehow beat them and i also broke a vase apparently?? oh and light yagami was there. but the night before i dreamt she was still here and we were texting and goofing off as always. and the night before the night before i dreamt we were still friends.

[captainjade101]

Denki: I watched a really sad anime

Todoroki in the meme voice: emotional damage

Denki:....I regret teaching you about the internet

[his-good-old-fashioned-loverboy]

boutta get 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 with him (on pinterest dms) (his mum took his phone away) boutta get SO 𝓺𝓾𝓮𝓮𝓻 with him 👅👅👅😈😈🙏🙏

[ghostieblr]

Keys

"The carpet isn't that bad, love."

His comment is met with a snort from Emma, and a sharp glare from Regina. Ah, his lovelies. Always so true to themselves.

"You two," Regina wags a finger in their faces, and instinctually, he follows the way it cuts the air; a sharp sword cutting through the tension. At least she has stopped pacing along the carpet, now. "You might be Henry's parents now, but I've raised him since he was a baby. And now he's leaving! What if something happens to him? There's no magic outside Storybrooke, I can't follow him, I —"

"Am a mother hen who has completely forgotten that her son is fully capable of taking care of himself." Emma's words are followed by her hands on Regina's shoulders, their eyes commiserating motherly worries and affection over the lad. Henry is nineteen now, something he calls a 'gap year' prominent in his 'resume,' and eager to leave. It will not do him good to see his mom worry as she is.

He knows he doesn't have that big of a say here, especially with the tumultuous family tree he has got going with everyone here. Especially Henry, who is his stepson, as well as his step-grandson, in a way. Baelfire would always be his boy, however short their time together was, just as Milah will always have a place in his heart.

He reminds Regina, "Your boy has fought numerous crazy villains, and proved every single time that nobody's strength is stronger than his cunning." As loathe as he is to admit, even to himself, he is just as cunning as the Crocodile, or even more so. "As for no magic..." He looks at Emma, who smiles warmly at him, prompting him to smile back.

Emma cups Regina's face in her hands and leans in. "Our son is a strong young man, and there is no realm where he will be defeated. College in comparison is nothing."

College. Now that's a concept, taking hard-earned money to provide children shelter, food, and education, all to hand them a piece of paper, a 'Degree,' that can then be used to earn a job in the world. Or not. Henry had been pretty passionately swinging between college being a good thing or a bad thing before deciding on ultimately going to it.

A joke strikes him, as he remembers one of the more vivid conversation amongst himself and the lad — which was more a one-sided rant than a full-blown conversation between the two of them — and chuckles. At his lovelies' looks, he explains, "Henry said if he survived the Underworld, he can most certainly survive college." The proud smirk on Regina's smirk makes him hold back the rest of it: the followed-up worry of maybe college being somehow worse.

Regina takes his good hand and pulls him closer, till the three of them are as close as physically possible. A small little triangle of people who once used hate each other to the point of wishing death upon them, but now could hardly hope to be separated.

"I'm sorry," Regina says, and he looks at Emma. Before Regina can complete her apology, they both kiss her in succession. Emma's kiss is gentle, a soft peck, whereas his is a bit more biting, his beard scraping against her skin, making her sigh in the way he adores.

"What you said is true. We are his parents now, but you were there since day one. Well, in a manner of speaking." Emma's words seems to ease Regina, and she looks between the two of them.

"He'll be fine?"

"He'll be fine, he's the son of Regina Mills, Emma Swan, and Baelfire, afterall."

"And yours," they both say at the same time, and his heart swells.

"And mine," he echoes, and there, there is the beautiful smile of Regina. Emma's eye twinkles, and he knows exactly what she's thinking. Regina needs to relax. "Since the house is now child-free," he murmurs, pulling Regina towards him, while Emma giggles beside them both, "And we are all assured that the lad will take the best care of himself, move into the apartment he has rented that all of us agree is nice... What do you say, my beautiful darlings, we have some fun of our own?"

"I would not be opposed to that. Emma?"

"You will worry about nothing but yourself soon," Emma purrs into Regina's ears, and ooh, there goes his self-control. He picks up Regina over his right shoulder, his right hand securing her, and then he picks up Emma on his left shoulder, careful of his hook. At this point, this is a practiced move.

Used to this but always delightedly nervous, their hands come around him to grip him. On a mission now, he starts to move from the living room to the upstairs bedroom.

But then Regina's phone, kept on one of the side-tables, begins ringing. And it's Henry's song, so of course both the mothers are anxious again. Even Emma's nerves have returned.

He puts them down, a little put out, and watches the two of them rush towards the phone. As they pick it up and put it on speaker, he moves towards them to hear Henry better, but something catches his eye. Something on the coffee table in front of the sofa.

He pivots towards said sofa and picks it up. Behind him Emma is asking, "Where did you last see it?"

He whistles. "The boy left his keys to the apartment here."

"Killian found it," Regina says, and adds, "We'll be there in... Emma, check the —"

"The next flight we could maybe catch if we leave right now is in four hours," Emma answers. "Seriously, Henry, of all the things to forget —"

"I know! I'm sorry, but I've already gotten the talk from gramps, moms," Henry groans, "He is looking at me disapprovingly as we speak."

Killian frowns. "I wasn't aware David went with him."

"He didn't," Regina tells him.

"He's on a face-call with me right now. On the laptop. I thought maybe I'd left it at his place, maybe."

"The small computer thingy," he says, mostly to himself. Technology, he thinks, sort of awed but also scared. In a land without magic, there's wonders like these. Talking devices. A personal mirror for everyone, where anyone can talk to anyone, anywhere.

"The small computer thingy? Killian," Emma looks at him, and he just knows he'll be teased mercilessly for this. Oh, hell. He loves it.

"Okay, you stay put — where are you, in the library? Stay there until we come get you."

"Or, mom, you could just send it via mail?" Regina does seem to consider the idea.

"No, we're coming. As we should have done in the first place. You two, pack. We're going to New York."

"Guess our son needs just another day of watching us get lovey-dovey with each other," Emma teases, and Henry gags before ending the call with a resounding, "No!"

Killian does feel bad for the boy, having heard his numerous wishes to be a bit more independent and to have a life of his own where the worst thing would be 'homework' and not almost dying every few weeks, but he guesses this is what happens when you're a boy with so many people in his life to say goodbye to, that you forget somethings in the process.

At least Regina's not pacing on the carpet anymore, her smile utterly radiant and wolfish as she plans out a whole vacation with Emma by her side.

One knows the attractions, other knows the city itself, and Killian? He just knows he loves these two and would follow them anywhere.