#this is based on a true story btw

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

Sometimes, when I'm playing Among Us with my friends, I start to doubt whether or not I'm playing it right. Like...am I actually supposed to be doing tasks right now? What if I'm supposed to be killing people

I think I've got imposter syndrome

[retreattocelestialbodies]

me: mmm yay food i have to eat with a fork! {oh no food is hot} me: *chews on my fork* the ant: where is the punchline

[yanderespamton78]

average shower experience

ok. its been 2 days since you last showered its shower time. okay so we cant stall you have things to do. we are going to get into the shower. then we are gonna wash hair and condition hair and allat. okay. we are not gonna get distracted. no getting distracted. okay time to get in okay okay stay on track rinse hair rinse hair rinse hair rinse hair rins- ooo sponge

[dyinggoosenoises]

“Hey are you done that book report? It’s due today”

“I’m almost done” I say, as I open an empty slide show that I was supposed to have started 6 weeks ago

[jaredthebc]

How people see me on Tumblr: A bit chill, laid back, maybe overly passionate but that isn't a bad thing

Me on a discord vc: "EUGH...guys don't eat drywall"

[vampiredungeon]

Goodreads is really fun because you’ll find a list called “the greatest books of the 21st century” or something and the first book on the list is twilight and you’re like goddamn I hate twilight how’s it winning? So you go into the comments to find someone else complaining about twilight but to your horror everyone else is raving about the series and just as you’re about to comment your hatred of the book you see a guy named Tom. Tom keeps writing long winded comments about how he thinks twilight is a insult to literature and that there’s so many better books to be on the list instead etc etc and he keeps getting ripped to shreds by everyone else in the comments so you think huh maybe I should help him out here but just before you click reply you notice Tom’s profile picture is an old white guy and old white guys on goodreads usually have weird opinions so you decide to check his profile real quick and at first nothing looks wrong he lives in the us and his bio says something like “married, 3 kids, civil engineer” pretty standard for old white guys on goodreads so then you go and check out his favorites shelf but it’s all full of history and philosophy books you’ve never heard of before so you decide to compare your books and again at first nothing seems too weird most of the books you two have in common are just some classics you both left unrated and you’re about to close out of his profile when you see that he gave the really cool book you read couple months ago only one star unlike your five and he also left a review for it. So you click on the review and you’re a little nervous because one star is pretty harsh and that cool book had a lot of diversity and old white guys on goodreads love to bitch about diversity but you give him the benefit of the doubt and assume Tom just didn’t like the slower plot or the sometimes dull dialogue and then you start reading the review and are immediately blasted by sentence after sentence of: “Horrible woke pandering” “A disgrace to the genre” “Unnecessary social commentary” “Disrespectful to my IQ level” The review is paragraphs long and feels never ending and you desperately scroll through the rant hoping to find someone replying to Tom calling him out but instead you find the review has 62 likes and anyone who commented on it was applauding Tom for his bravely at speaking up against the woke mob you bite your fingers to stop yourself from replying to Tom and everyone in his comments calling them all ignorant cunts because while that would be satisfying you know none of them are going to give a fuck and you’ll probably just get your comment reported for harassment or something so instead you just close out of his profile and then you close goodreads and then you turn off your computer and drive it an hour to the nearest lake and you stand on the shore for a bit debating whether or not you throw it in but you eventually decide not to because it was kinda expensive and what are you going to do without a computer so you drive an hour back home but it actually takes longer then an hour because its dark now and it started raining so you take it extra slow and by the time you get back home it’s even darker and it’s gotten a lot colder too especially because you took off your sweatshirt to wrap around your computer because you don’t want it to get wet and your fingers are shaking pretty bad so you drop your keys twice trying to unlock your front door but by the time you do make it in you decide to take a nice long hot shower and about a half a second before the water hits your face you remember your hot water heater broke yesterday.

[goodoldfashionedengineer]

Teacher: Sorry for being late, in exchange, we'll end the lesson earlier

Jason Todd, aka 'Robin': (⁠●_⁠●⁠)

(internally: *appalled* how can the lesson be shortened when we already began later, the math doesn't add up)

----

Jason Todd, aka 'Red Hood', being particularly mad at the Batfam over something: Sorry for being late for the mission. In exchange, I'll end my part of it earlier

[quillpokebiology]

Thinking about that one Blaziken on that cooking show who refused to eat food shaped like Torchic

[sp1resong]

mspaint soul ocd compilation (some serious, some nonsensical, some both, some neither)

[tasenwrobots]

Just because he's peepaw doesn't mean he's not Leo.

You have no idea how long this has been on my mind. He's been waiting to say this for fucking decades, literally.

[hitsuyou-fukaketsu]

Enstarrie drama doesn't stop outside the internet

Doing this with @yume-fanfare ! Their comms are open rn, check them out <3

[captainjade101]

Denki: I watched a really sad anime

Todoroki in the meme voice: emotional damage

Denki:....I regret teaching you about the internet

[vampiiu]

Y/N: "Ugh, I'm so ugly." Jeff: “shut up before i shove a 8 inch rusty nail down your throat and take out your spleen with my bare hands :)"

[mirogaykechi]

boutta get 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 with him (on pinterest dms) (his mum took his phone away) boutta get SO 𝓺𝓾𝓮𝓮𝓻 with him 👅👅👅😈😈🙏🙏

[kingsley4]

Boom! Art be upon ye

[observancesys]

man, being an anartist fucking sucks. okay, so a couple of weeks ago i was working on my current project, and i decide - like a moron to make 2+2=5 for some of reality for part of the project. nothing that could leak out into consensus reality, just a nice little bubble to work with, gets the viewers' attention, that sort of thing. and it all worked nice and good then. fast forwards, it's a couple of weeks later, i fell off the project after a depressive break, coming back because i'll feel like shit if i don't finish it, right? so i'm adding more to the project, going on with the current plans, but the problem is that 2+2 still equals 5, and i was planning to change it so that pi equals π for this segment. and like, i can't do that right now, because 2+2 still equals 5 and so it throws all of the work off. and i can't for the life of me figure out how i managed to make 2+2 equal 5 and how to revert it. like, i threw that together at 2:14am in a fit of creativity, i don't fucking know how night me's brain works. it might've been a different me, identity is fluid and all that - maybe they could fix it, but i can't. it sucks. like, if i was just an audience member this'd be fine. when you see a really fucking cool act of flexibility or a magic trick or whatever and you're in the audience you can just be like "hot damn okay", but when you're having to de- and re-construct it yourself in the backroom and the original author's a dead recording you just kinda have to grope around in the dark for it, you know? and sometimes the stress all gets to you from trying to reverse-engineer it and you have to go and let off some steam. so all this is to say, sorry about your neighbour's shed