#this is an open letter i only want closure

[notafagipromise]

welp i was really blocked by the only friend i had in this fandom lol I've been locked out of the only other active novacaine liker help

[0tul1ss]

.

[somuchstrdst]

x

[sakuravalelp]

Phantom letters - DPXDC PROMPT

The bats wake up one day to the internet going crazy; people around the world were getting letters from they're diseased loved ones. The reactions are mixed, from people being outraged for the "prank" to people crying in melancholy at getting closure.

All the letters have something in common: They're closed with a green sealing wax that had an stylize DP and the name Phantom beneath it. Posts about the cards were using the # Phantom Letters.

The bats are discussing the viral posts in the cave when Alfred comes holding a basket filled with letters, announcing they were left at the doors. The letters had the sealing wax that they recognize from the posts. Checking the cameras they can see how they glitch before the basket appears.

Alfred starts to distribute the letters that had only one destinatary. Letters from each Thomas and Martha to both Bruce and Alfred. Letters from each John and Mary to Dick. A letter from Catherine to Jason. A letter from the Drake's to Tim, and another one to Bruce.

Once they had calmed down enough from the shock, Alfred proceeded to read the shared recipients. From Thomas and Martha to "The grandchildren we never got to meet." From John and Mary to "the family that took our little Robin in." Letters from Catherine to "My little boys family." The letters were directed to people the deceased didn't get to meet.

As much as the mere existence of the letters tugged at their hearts, they decided to not read them until they verified that the handwriting actually belong to the ones it claimed. They checked each letter, and in the end confirmed the letters were in fact from they're lost love ones.

After much discussion, each person makes the decision to read they're own letters later in private, and they proceed to read the ones that shared recipients out loud. The letter mentioned specifics like names and events that the deceased shouldn't have been able to know, including they're vigilante abilities, which had them pause each time to panic a bit. But what was more interested were certain pieces of the letters that mentioned a Prince Phantom.

"Prince Phantom said to don't mention things past our death, but it wasn't a command, so we're hoping this won't be much of a problem." - John and Mary

"I still can't believe Prince Phantom is letting us do this, but I'm so glad." - Catherine

It finally paints the mystery in a more concerning light when at the end of Thomas and Martha's letter there is a call for help.

"We're sorry for ending the letter on a serious tone, but seeing the kind of job you all get involved in, we wanted to ask: Could you please help Prince Phantom? Phantom had asked us to not give information about this, but he's so young, and has already been hurt so much. Please, check on Amity Park, Illinois."

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Meanwhile, team Phantom has decided that they needed to get the news about the GIW out of Amity and ask for help. Two problems:

the GIW blocks any technological attempt made.

People might be afraid to learn that ghosts exist and side with the GIW.

As a way to deal with the public image, Phantom opens a possibility that the death have never had:

"All afterlives are open to write letters to their love ones that are still alive today. Nothing that includes threats, and don't go talking about the anti-ecto acts or Amity Park yet, we're trying to ease people into our existence first. Also, I know you all check on your love ones when the veil is thin, but please keep the things you shouldn't know out of the letters if possible. If you want your letter to be sent in the first batch, make sure to deliver your letter before the week ends."

Letters are a good way to reconnect people with the death, they aren't digital, and the GIW won't be able to intercept letters if they're send through inter-dimensional portals. Two birds in one shot.

[taesanluv3r]

lost in love songs.

han taesan x reader

a short, three part, friends to lovers story.

ੈ✩‧₊ hidden love unfolds when taesan's ipod nano accidentally ends up in the hands of his best-friend, yn. a certain playlist catches her eyes, revealing the true feelings kept within the depths of the boy's heart.

part three: can't help falling in love.

confessions, first kisses, so much cuteness my heart swells. lowercase intended, excuse any spelling mistakes / grammatical errors! enjoy <3

wc: 4,019

masterlist 𖦹 part one 𖦹 part two

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

"i need to talk to you"

taesan couldn't sleep at all, her words just circling around and around in his head all night long. the five letter text message written in big bold letters playing in his mind every single time he so much as even tried to shut his eyes. he lies awake, sighing when his eight o' clock alarm rings through his ears. he was going to confess to her today. he had to. it was the only way he or his friend could get any sort of closure, whether he liked it or not. their meeting time was still in another two hours. the boy grabs his phone, instinctively going to check the messages, her messages.

last active 6.45am

seems she couldn't sleep either, though neither of the friends contacted each other while they were awake. no exchange of words, unlike the way they usually did. taesan's stomach hurts, he's restless and he just can't seem to lie still. he gets off of his bed, walking around his room once, then twice, and then a third time before resorting to sitting on the chair near his desk. with a light tap of his finger, the laptop in front of him turns on, a slight buzzing sound from the gears within the device that began to work. his reflection on the screen disappears when the tabs he had opened the night prior appeared before him. the boy's eyes glimmer slightly at the sight of his music folder, countless of demos and drafts scattered in a somewhat organized manner in the little blue folder. his finger slides against the silver track-pad, the air conditioning right by his desk making the surface cool to touch. taesan bites his lips as he clicks, a collection of his unfinished originals popping up above all the other opened tabs.

the boy sighs again, a hand roughly stroking through his bed-ridden hair as his eyes make contact with two songs in particular. those were the same songs he had downloaded onto his ipod the other day, the one that was now in the hands of his best-friend who he had in his mind throughout the whole writing process. taesan curses at himself, regretting ever even making such stupid songs. but it's all her fault, he thought, if she weren't so...her, maybe he wouldn't keep writing these love songs. he scrolls down in frustration, eyes following his cursor as they go through about a dozen more songs about her. a dozen more songs she didn't need to know about, the songs he once swore she'd never see.

the boy's finger moves up again, back to the very top two tracks in the folder. he let's out a deep breath before pressing down, allowing his own music to flow through the air. an unfinished song,

can't help falling in love.

taesan's eyes shut closed, his back leaning softly against his chair and he immerses himself in the tune. soft piano fills his ears, his eyebrows knitting together when he hears his own voice. just like the other song, this one shared that same honey-like feeling. it was very unlike the usually upbeat and, as his friend would call it, emo sound that he typically produced. for some reason though, it was somewhat more...authentic. like despite his edgy exterior the boy was just born to write these cheesy songs that he swore weren't 'his vibe'. he hums along quietly to the lyrics, not wanting to wake the rest of his family that were very much still asleep at such an hour like this on a saturday morning.

her eyes shine like diamonds, her lips stained pink like rose quartz. she speaks so loud with confidence, yeah i envy her voice like sweets of sorts. and i just can't shake this feeling, and i just don't know what's wrong. when she looks at me i'm melting, elvis was right cause i can't help falling in love.

the sound of the lyrics he wrote himself makes him sick for a second, his eyes opening and his body darting forward to hit pause. the tune abruptly stops, his heavy breathing all too loud when silence engulfs the atmosphere. taesan is tense, the sudden reality of the situation he was in had become too real, too much for his liking. the boy blinks in long intervals, his teeth clawing at his bottom lip and his hands that were pressed atop the table forming fists. the boy loses himself for a moment, his mind overflowing with every possible scenario, every kind of reaction this girl he had been so hung up on could've had to the feelings he poured out into his songs, this girl who was his only friend, this girl he might've of lost forever.

he stops himself from screaming at the top of his lungs, eyes glancing at the number on the top right corner of the screen. only one more hour to go. he decides its finally time to get ready. taesan takes a shower, washing his hair with the olive scented shampoo that his mom had bought for him on a sale the other day. he brushed his teeth, making eye contact with the mirror as he dried his hair. the boy spends the next thirty minutes trying on all of his clothes, almost throwing a tantrum and leaving the room in a mess when nothing seemed to feel right. by 9.35 he had decided on a black band tee, the faded smiley face logo of his favourite band contrasting perfectly with the dark wash of his denim jeans. he stares at himself in his floor-length mirror, his hands fidgeting in the air as he begins to rehearse every way the confession that awaits him with his best-friend could possibly go. the shy boy does this often, he finds it hard to speak with people and it makes him feel better to practice beforehand. however, he's never had to do this with her, she always made it easy for him to talk. so why now? why does he feel so nervous and...scared?

"and i just...i think you're cool and- no, i think you're pretty chill and- pretty chill? ugh! this is so stupid!" he groans, launching himself onto his bed and staring angrily at his ceiling. just then, the familiar notification sound of his phone grabs the boy's attention. taesan stretches an arm out towards it, his eyes lighting up and his body going back into sitting position as he reads the text from the girl who'd been running laps around his mind since last night.

yn meet you at the playground

the boy feels a cluster of butterflies in his lower abdomen, a small smile unconsciously making its way onto his lips at the mere thought of the pretty girl conversing with him.

i'll see you there

he shuts his phone off before she could respond, jumping off of the mattress and stumbling into his black leather shoes, all while simultaneously throwing on his coat and spritzing just enough of his signature perfume. he greets himself one last time in the mirror before he leaves, letting out a breath as he nodded to his reflection, so as to tell himself 'good luck'.

the boy was out the door now, not forgetting to bid his family goodbye leaving them to wonder what he was so jittery about. his feet trots over to the bus stop. the playground was closer to her place, almost an hour away from the boy if he were to get there on foot. his fingers tapped impatiently against the silver railing of the bench, no one else was there because no one else had plans so early on a weekend. five minutes go by and the blue vehicle finally comes to a stop in front of him, the automatic door sliding opened as he stepped into the bus. "where you off to this early on a saturday, kid?" asked the old man who had both hands on the steering wheel. "going to tell her the truth" the man chuckles at the boy's mysterious response, watching from the rear-view mirror as he slumped himself onto one of the seats. taesan watches as the trees go by, his eyes wandering over to the people on walks, the children on their tiny bikes, and the couples sharing a morning cup of coffee. the boy reaches into his pocket in search of his music player, lips pursing into a straight line when he remembers its whereabouts. he didn't even have his earphones with him, he couldn't listen to music on his phone even he wanted to! and no music meant no distractions, nothing to focus on apart from his own thoughts he began to get lost in once again.

at last, the bus arrives at his stop. taesan gets up from his seat, a hand gripping onto the yellow handle near the door as he begins to get off. "hey kid" the old man's voice stops him. "huh?" he asked, an eyebrow cocked up in curiosity. "good luck with that girl, rooting for you" the driver's encouraging words paired with a warm smile gave the otherwise nervous wreck of a boy somewhat of a confidence boost. he shoots the man a smile in return, thanking him before hopping out the door. a new sense of security as he strides towards the gated entrance of the park. he walks with his head down, eyes focusing on the way his thick shoes created indents against the grass. he only looks up when his feet reaches the familiar cobblestone that surrounded the playground.

he holds his breath for a moment and his heart rate went up by tenfold. there she was. in the rather empty area, the only other sound apart from the pumping in his chest was the breeze. a smooth blow of wind that cascaded through her hair, causing the swing in which she sat to sway slowly. his gaze lingered for a moment, staring longingly at his best-friend, myung yn. a harsh gush of wind swept the boy off of his feet, sending his body to move forward all of a sudden. the noise that escaped his mouth causing the girl on the swing to turn around and face him. the two stood like that for a while, not uttering a word and just staring at each other from a distance. yn was the first to look away, her head tilting towards the direction of the other swing beside hers, inviting the boy to come and take a seat. taesan takes painfully slow steps before finally making it to the empty swing, the old steel bar from which it hung on creaking a little at the pressure of his weight. still, neither of them spoke a word. her eyes fixed onto the two little birds a couple feet away from them, and his own ones focused right onto her.

"yn..." he begins, though his voice is a lot deeper than usual. taesan wants to tell her everything, just the way he had planned, he had so much to say and yet for some reason all of those things just wouldn't- no, they just couldn't come out. "here" his eyes widen when she speaks, the boy's gaze falling onto her hand that appeared in front of him. his ipod nano in it, and his worn-out earphones de-tangled and wrapped neatly around the device. "oh" is all he managed to muster out, his own hand reaching over to retrieve it. taesan's touch lingers against her skin, sending a wave of goosebumps to decorate her body. it's silent all over again. minus the chirping of song birds and the rustling of dying leaves as they shed onto the green grass. the boy zones out, trying to find the right sentences to say. he's distracted by the thoughts running through his brain, perplexed when they all began to fade away at the sound of soft humming coming from the girl to his left.

the tune is familiar, though he can't seem to pinpoint where he's heard it before. "that song has been stuck in my head all night, i couldn't sleep" yn began, her voice still raspy from the lack of rest. she still doesn't make eye contact though, continuing to hum as she rocked slightly on the swing. "you write so well"

that's when it all clicked in his head. the song she had been humming, the same song he had made himself. the one about a girl, the one about her. yn's compliment registers in his brain, his head falling down to hide the way a pink shade appeared onto his pale cheeks, silently praying she couldn't hear the way his heart thumped beneath his shirt. "if only i could speak as well as i write" taesan finally talks, his voice making her turn to fully face him now. her eyes are big and a small smile pulled against the corners of her lips. "well, why don't you try? try to tell me about this girl" the way she asked him, like she hadn't a clue about the meaning of his songs, it comforted him a little. how could she be so...normal at a time like this?

he stutters, looking away from her as he opens his mouth to speak again. "well...she's the complete opposite of me and she makes me feel all weird and fuzzy inside and" - "you're always weird, but go on" yn chuckles, interrupting him jokingly. the sound of her laugh making him smile too. "and well, she's my best-friend- my only friend, but sometimes...i guess i just kind of wish we were more than that...i just don't want to ruin our friendship..." he trails off, his eyes getting watery all of a sudden; if you asked him why, he'd blame it on the breeze, but he knows that the real reason was the same one for his smile, the same on for his laugh, and the very same reason for his stupid little love songs.

taesan's body tenses up when he feels a cool touch of a hand tapped against his chin, his head being forced to lift up and to face her. to face yn who seemed to have also begun tearing up. "taesan..." she says, but her voice comes out hushed. her vision begins to blur and the boy panics, unsure of what to do. "yn..." now it was his turn to press his fingers against her jaw, bringing her glossy eyes up to look into his.

"i think i might like you more than a friend"

a gasp escapes her lips. she recognizes the line from his song, she knew since last night how he felt, but for some reason she's still in shock. it was as though the night before had just been some sort of wild dream and it was now coming to life. taesan stares deeply into her eyes, analyzing the way her breathing slowed down and her eyebrows relaxed. "i..." she begins, her warm breath that smelled of coffee blowing against his nose. the boy waits patiently in anticipation, a look of hope and worry washing over his complexion.

"i think i like you too"

a single tear falls out of his eye, a sight she had never seen before. for the boy she had known all of these years never cried. yn blinks, tears of her own threatening to follow suit. his hand moves to caress her cheek, wiping away the wetness that stained it. she giggles softly, finding his touch ticklish. he copies her, breaking into a smile as he sniffles lightly, wiping away his own tear-stained face.

the confession was a lot quicker and a lot more anticlimactic than they had thought or anticipated. the pair simmering down into another moment of silence as they swung softly with the air, the cool breeze blowing against the tiny hairs on their bodies. "so...you listened to the songs, then? i mean...obviously you did" the boy breaks away from the peace, his gaze moving towards the ipod on his lap. she nods, blushing at the memory of his love song. "only the first one" yn says, her voice fading out softly. "good" now she turned to face him, head tilted to the side as she did so. "the other one isn't done yet...and it's way more embarrassing than the first one" his voice is back to normal now, the jittery-ness in his previous tone long gone. "will you show me when it's done then?" she asked, watching as he raided his brain in search for an answer. "or maybe..."

yn gets off of her swing, turning around on her heels to stand right across the boy who remained seated. taesan looks up at her confused, not a clue as to what she was going to tell him next. "maybe you could write me a new one!" she speaks brightly, "one about how the girl of your dreams, me, became the girl of your reality" she's prideful, her head facing the blue sky as she spoke. "how 'bout that?" now she looked right at him, a hopeful look in her eyes contradicting the playful smirk on her lips. the boy can only stare blankly at her, eyebrows furrowing like she was speaking a language he didn't understand. yn rolls her eyes, waving a hand in circles over his face. "hello? earth to taesan?" he shakes out of his short trance, "huh?" the exchange of words gives the pair a feeling of deja vu. she smiles softly, "i just asked you to be my boyfriend and you totally zoned out...loser" taesan tilts his head to the side.

"you...me...boyfriend..huh?!"

she laughs out loud, grabbing onto his hands and lifting him off of the creaky swing. "you, han taesan. me, myung yn. boyfriend and girlfriend" she repeats for the third time, in simpler words for his brain to digest. this time, instead of just staring at her like a confused cat, the boy grins. "wait, wait so we can be like...together now?" she groans at his question, "taesan, if you make me repeat myself again i'll toss that stupid ipod into the fish pond!" he laughs when she compains, his eyes scanning every inch of her features. the way her eyebrows twitched when she spoke, the way her eyelashes fluttered with the wind, the way her nose scrunched up and the way her pretty pink lips sat in a pout towards the bottom of her face. he must've been staring at them for a while, the girl's pout flipping into a little smirk. "what's up?" she asks, his attention returning to her eyes. "nothing...can...can i..." he never finishes the sentence, but the way his lips were parted and the way his breathing got heavier, she knew exactly what was going through his mind.

yn takes a step forward, diminishing any amount of space they had between them before. the familiar feeling of her cold fingers sent a shiver down his spine as both her hands moved up to cup his face. taesan is frozen still, letting the girl make all of the moves for him. she inhales softly before pulling him down towards her, finally coming in contact with one another. the atmosphere is stiff, the strawberry scent of her chapstick melting into his rather dry lips. the kiss lasts no longer than a second, the girl pulling away to stare in his loving eyes. regaining the consciousness that seemed to have left his body a minute ago, the boy's arms moved to wrap around her waist, pulling her into his grasp and their lips caught against each other's once more. this time, the kiss was natural and passionate. yn's arms sat around his neck, her fingers twirling against the ends of his freshly washed hair. their heads tilted in opposite directions, noses bumping as they got lost in each other's faces. slowly becoming messier and desperate as time went by. feeling a little lightheaded, the pair separate, gasping for air. his hands still placed on her hips, hers are now on his shoulders and they stopped to sink into the moment.

the air around them was warm, differing from the cool breeze that had surrounded them earlier. before long, yn's cheeks began to redden, the same shade becoming apparent on the tips of the boy's ears. avoiding eye contact, they looked away in unison, flustered giggles escaping their mouths the same way little children did when they were happy. taesan smiles brightly at her, and the girl reciprocates, the corners of her mouth dipping into little dimples against her skin.

"walk me home?" she asks suddenly, starting up conversation again. he nods, extending a hand out for her to grab before they began walking through the grass and out of the gated park. their walk was unusually quiet, but there was some sort of a comforting feeling that floated over them, hands remained intertwined the whole time, constantly stealing glances and blushing away awkwardly whenever their eyes met.

soon, they arrived at the entrance of her complex. taesan looks down at her for a moment, a hand scratching against the back of his neck that began to feel itchy. yn lets out a sigh, a frown appearing against her face. he looks at her with worried eyes, "what...what's wrong?" he stutters, though she only lets out another breath. "nothing. it's just that if i go home now, jaehyun is gonna bully me relentless about this whole thing!" the boy closes his eyes in relief, "oh, i thought something was seriously wrong-ow!" he exclaims, rubbing his forearm she just hit. "it is something seriously wrong! as my boyfriend you should be just as upset as me!!" taesan freezes at the term, a sense of shyness wrapping around his body the same way his weighted blanket did at night. yn is just as flustered, not expecting herself to say that, her attention moving to stare intently at the asphalt on the ground.

"well, as your boyfriend, what should i do then?"

his hands find home beneath her chin, lifting her pretty face up to look at him again. he looked handsome. i mean, she knew he was good looking this whole time but she swears he had never looked this...lovely before. his soft hair lazily falling against his shining eyes, his tall nose harmoniously balanced with his lips that wore a pretty smirk. "you know if you just keep staring and not giving me an answer i won't know what to do, yn" he rolls his eyes playfully, failing to hold back his laugh as he watched the ever so confident myung yn struggle with her words for what feels like the very first time ever. "i...i mean you...you should- um..." han taesan bends down slightly, pressing a spontaneous kiss against her cheek, their faces far too close and their noses almost touching.

"why don't you come over to mine? i'll show you all the other songs i wrote for you" her eyes widen at his words, "other songs? you mean you wrote MORE songs about me?!" taesan nods, his teeth showing when he smiles this time and the dimples below his eyes forming whisker-like shapes against his cheeks. "who knew emo loser taesan was such a love-sick derp" her sudden insult catches him off guard, a scoff escaping his mouth as he wraps an arm around his girlfriend, pulling her close as they cross the street.

"and who's fault is that?" he asks, the right side of his face pressed against her hair. "whats that supposed to mean? it's not my fault you fell in love with someone as great and amazing as me!" she rolls her eyes, leaning onto the side of his chest as they walked in the opposite direction of her neighbourhood and towards the bus stop. taesan laughs, "well that's just it! when you're so great and amazing like that, i guess i just..." yn looks up at him, interested in what her boyfriend was going to say next.

"i just...can't help falling in love"

the end.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

i want an emo love-sick derpy taesan ☹️ this is the end of my short series <3 i hope u guys liked it!!! and liked the lyrics i wrote for this and the last part too hehehehe 🙂‍↕️ reblogs n feedbacks are always appreciated!!!! tysm for reading, lmk what u thought 🧸 love, kona :3

[lucystark12]

how to convince the ga that byler isn't rushed (kind of just a rant about lettergate)

they need to and i mean NEED to vecna mike because the only way the ga will understand that byler has been built up since the beginning is if we’re given scenes in context. we as bylers obviously get it but byler is at risk of being labeled “too rushed” if they don’t put effort into referencing the important parts of mike’s feelings developing.

the audience doesn't really have a problem with believing that will is gay and in love with mike because there are things in his arc that are just obvious and clearly point to that.

but mike on the other hand is in the middle of a love triangle. unlike most of the other main characters, mike isn't open about his feelings. we don't get his internal monologue. he doesn't tell others how he's feeling. thats why its so easy for bylers and milevens alike to interpret his every move in either direction. it's purely because we don't know. so, in season five, there are things they have to address and give concrete meaning to so that people understand how byler actually does make sense.

the most important scene that i’ve already kinda talked about to do this is...

this one, obviously, the most important little part of all of byler's season three. i want vecna talking about this. i want mike thinking about this. it’s crucial. it’s essential. his behavior here is weird as hell! it even reads weirdly in a script that was released and then edited quickly after. it's important and it needs to be addressed and treated as such. in the script (forgive me if i'm off, i don't have a copy of it so this is from memory) it reads as "what's wrong with me?" that obviously points our way, but since we don't get his internal monologue there's no way to be sure. it needs to be addressed.

this is also kinda lettergate proof because i think the unsent letters and the fact that mike did try to call will also be essential to proving what was going on with him during the gap between season three and four. if i were in charge of the show, i would do a whole flashback sequence to these six months. i want to know exactly where he is, what he’s doing, what he's thinking, how the people around him are reacting to his behavior. we need a shot of the love, mike. it's SO IMPORTANT.

literally i could scream about how important (and likely) lettergate is.

one thing that REALLY scares me about lettergate is the possibility of them reddieying us. yes that is now a verb. for any of you who never had an it 2017 phase, reddieying is where richie and eddie, two characters, had feelings for each other but never admitted it. at the end of the movie after eddie dies, we get this scene:

this is what i like to call reddieying. and yes that is also finn wolfhard. this is why we are scared.

the letters could be used in a VERY similar way if either mike or will dies to express the love that they both once had for each other. closure of sorts. i think that would be VERY poor writing (we've all heard my theory about how mike's love for will is literally essential to the ending of the show) but i think it's highly possible especially given the overlap between it and stranger thing's fandoms. the letters could be read at the end in a similar way to the way hopper's was, sad heroes and all. this draws another parallel.

yes i am bringing newtmas into this. fuck you.

above is a letter written by newt from the maze runner to thomas. newt is confirmed gay by the author of the book, and this letter is written to thomas but never read by him until newt dies. letterboxd reviews of this movie read:

"that letter at the end was the gayest thing I’ve ever witnessed and I’ve seen call me by your name."

"homophobia is thomas reading newt’s declaration of love and the shot cutting to thomas scratching his ex’s name into the rock ABOVE newt’s"

"newt, to thomas: "and i remember you. [...] i knew i would follow you anywhere. and i have." me: *im ready to be queerbaited again meme*"

and i didn't even have to search for these. these were like the top couple reviews of the movie. they were all on the first page of reviews.

all i'm saying is, by having the letter be an idea in our minds, they've set up a way to kill off one of the characters and still have a slightly resolved, weirdly up to interpretation ending. i do still think it's poor writing. i could kind of go into that too if anybody is interested.

i think that if lettergate is used as a device during mike's flashbacks to show how long he's felt this way that they will be using this thing they've set up for good, however, if they newtmas us and reddie us i might die. just letting you know.

[dulcewrites]

Fool Me Once (part 5)

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x reader (Aegon ii x reader 👀) (wc: 6k)

Summary: As the further truths are uncovered, the battle for the Iron Throne begins

A/N: soooo, I said part 5 would be the last part, but in typical annoying writer fashion I’m not so sure now 😭. Either way, I truly cannot express how grateful I am for all the followers, and support I have received since starting it. I consider fmo my brain child but our baby with how interactive people have been. I’d love to get feedback or request on what hotd stuff you guys want to see from me. My inbox is always open so please let me know how you liked fmo (any thoughts or headcanons) and what you want to see 🫶🏽

Fmo masterlist

“We should run away to Yi-Ti.”

You look up from Aemond’s desk at Aegon with an exasperated expression. It was not the first time Aegon had thrown out the idea of leaving King’s Landing for good. There always an idealistic nature about Aegon that is as sweet as it is delusional. You know the guilt he would feel about leaving, and he knows you would too.

I have a dragon we can who can drop us anywhere. I can shave my head and we can change our identities

“You are supposed to help me be looking for this map,” Not bothering to give the same speech you tell him every time he brings it up.

Gently placing everything where you found it, you squat down to check the cabinets of the desk. Aemond kept his study annoyingly tidy, and you are sure we would notice if anything were out of place. The last thing you need is another argument.

There are multiple books, all of them relating to Westerosi histories, and a plethora of written works of poetry. Nothing stands out till you find a pile of letters. Your throat tightens. It shouldn’t hurt anymore, but now the situation has moved past just Aemond wanting to be with someone else. It affects your kids, your relationship with everyone in the family.

You are just tired, and you just want it end. Or at least to have some sort of closure through an explanation or an apology. You are not holding your breath for the later.

With a sigh, you sit, slumped against the wall. Across from the desk. Noticing you are out of his view, Aegon walks around the desk and sits next to you. The two of you sit in silence before Aegon speaks.

“We can skip dinner,” he suggests softly. “I am sure our absence will not be noticed.”

It is a lie. You both know that if you do not show up, you will be in for an earful from Alicent. Especially now that Viserys has finally worked up the strength to leave his chambers. Aegon reaches over to grab your hand. You look at the large ring on his pinkie finger. The golden scales an ode to Sunfyre. Even with all the problems Aegon has with family, he has always fully embraced his dragon. A bond you have never seen before between rider and dragon. You run your hand over the cool metal.

“You know, despite my hesitance towards dragons, sometimes I am envious of you guys for having them.” you laugh flatly. “It is not even the beasts themselves, but everything they represent. This strange strength that means you are better than everyone else. A free pass for destruction.”

The past year and a half had been a sobering one. You feel so disconnected from yourself. Depleted by actions outside of your control.

“But then I think maybe it is good I do not have a dragon; or more so I do not have the power that comes along with it. I have spent my whole life doing exactly what I was supposed to, just to still get dealt a hand of misfortune,” you murmur emotionless. “I fear that there was tiny seed of hate put in me when I first found out about Aemond’s actions, and that everything that has happened since has only made me more bitter and revengeful. I was told that fighting wrong doings with more destruction was never the answer. I do not know how much I believe that now.”

You look over at Aegon with an illegible look in your eyes. “I would go mad with the things I would do with that kind of power.”

Aegon swallows thickly. Honestly, his first instinct is to make a joke. You, the girl who got teary eyed when she learned about the field of sheep kept in the Red Keep for the dragons, speaking with such gravity. But his eyes travel to the faded scar on your arm and back up to you. The harm done to yourself, grief-stricken eyes, and tired frown. He’s only seen that type of look on his mother. The most persistent person he has ever known, and probably will ever know. She wakes up every day to tend to a man that has never done right by her and run a kingdom she did not want in the first place. There is a simmering type hate in your eyes that he is sure only comes from being around his family for too long.

He wonders if this is how his mother felt when she had him. Young, exhausted, and utterly pissed.

“You are not the only one who feels that way,” he softly. “But - you cannot let it get the best of you. Once you get in that place, it is hard to get out.”

You know he speaks from experience. Resentment leaves a bad taste in the mouth of those who feel like life has let them down.

You want to say that another worry is what will happen if you ever find equal footing with the men in your life. Would the spell wear off you were a flight risk? Would you be seen as a volatile powder keg if not a maiden to come to the defense of? Would you be seen as the prize in his eyes if you were not in the position you ate in? In that moment, you think you should tell him about what you let his grandsire do. If anyone would understand, it would be Aegon. Instead, you lean your head against his shoulder.

You do not have the words for that just yet.

————

The search for the map in Aemond’s study goes unsuccessful. You decide to change tactics. There is a slight uneasiness you get digging through his things in the chambers. Soft whiff of lavender and citrus hit you nose as you look through folded clothes of his. You heart rate spikes when you see a scroll of thin parchment. Looking back to check the door, you then unroll the paper.

There is various lines and arrows, but the words are all in high Valyrian. You have picked up and word here and there since being in the Red Keep, but not well enough translate every word. Instead, you follow the arrows. Walking around the room in a way you are sure would look silly to someone if they walked in.

You find yourself in front of the small outline wall next to your clothing wardrobe. Blinking blankly at the wall, you frown. You run your fingers gently across the fabric on the wall. The deep red and gold stitching smooth under your hands. You push harder than intended and gasp when the wall swings open.

In front of you are stairs that lead down a pathway. A tunnel. You do not venture too far, but you see where the path is leading to. Daemon had given Aemond a direct line to outside the Red Keep. And a direct line for anyone to come in.

But why?

As you walk down the tunnel, something shiny catches your eye on ground. You pick up a single earring. A gold plaited coin earring. It is oddly familiar, but you cannot seem to put your finger on who it belongs to.

All you do know is that someone has been using the tunnel recently.

A part of you wanted to storm through the castle and find Aemond. Have him explain what the Seven Hells has been going on. Or if he even used the tunnels. But you surprise yourself when you knock on the Hand’s study door. Perhaps he is not the best person to go to in this state. You know it is not comfort you will find. But for all his faults, Otto Hightower will tell you want you need to hear or at least you will have his ear.

You are now not naive to how much Lord Hightower seems to want to keep you around.

After it was decided Aemond and you were to get married, you were not clueless enough not see the clear advantages not only for you house, but also for his. Your only naive thought being the mutual benefit would keep you safe or protected.

When you walk into the study, you find Otto sitting at his desk, staring out of the window. You know Viserys’ surprise appearance at the petition hearings rattled him as much as it pleased Rhaenyra and her family. You do not know where to begin or what you are even expecting of this conversation.

“Did you know about the tunnels,” you blurt suddenly. “The ones that run under the castle.”

In typical Otto fashion, his face does not give anything away. But he does shake his head, and gestures for you to continue.

“I…. I think Prince Daemon may have had something to do with my… problem.”

That makes Otto lean forward in his seat, the mention of Daemon clearly stirring something in him. You aren’t ready to put anything on Princess Rhaenyra yet. Partly because you are still wonder where her limits are opposed to seeing exactly how Daemon operates. And because just saw what happens when you question Rhaenyra, even if you have proof or a valid criticism.

“And if they had something to do with her, I cannot help but wonder if they had something to do with what happened to Alaric’s blanket,” you still shudder thinking about it.

You already had a deep sense of guilt since giving Otto the go ahead to find Alys. Taking a life is not something you want on your hand and conscious, and it only doubles knowing how this all could have been a perfectly plotted scheme. Your anger at your husband reaches a new level. Whether Alys was the shiny poisoned apple or a woman in love that has gone rouge, this still involves your kids.

“It seems your family’s influence is something many have noticed,” Otto finally speaks, voice gravely and tone even.

Your brows furrow. “They think threatening my son is going to make me tell my parents or uncle to back Rhaenyra’s claim?”

Your grandsire was an old man by the time Rhaenyra was named heir; your uncle took over for your house shortly after that time. And your uncle was just as thrilled as your parents when you married Aemond, clearly excited to have familiar ties to the Targaryen family. Now that you thought about it, you had never asked him where he stood when it comes to Rhaenyra being heir. But based on knowing how your family acquired their wealth and how they operate, they have never been ones to stray from tradition. Despite your grandsire bending the knee to Rhaenyra, you get the feeling everything is up the air especially with you being the good sister to the other possible claim.

“No, dear girl,” Otto sighs, eyes growing tired. “But I am sure they think you feeling unsafe here and having no love for your husband’s actions will.”

Your mind goes back to Rhaenyra’s offer. You are always welcomed at Dragonstone.

They hoped you would seek refuge in them, and in turn feel compelled to drop any allegiance you have to this side of the family. Did they know about how close you had grown to Aegon or to Helaena? Or that even through this turbulent time, you still find yourself having a soft spot for Alicent. You are sure they would reassure your safety if you ever switched side, but you know your safety was not a priority to them. Only the men or ships that would come with it.

“I am not shocked Daemon would go to such lengths, if true,” Otto says. “I would say I am shocked Rhaenyra would go along with it, but the Princess has always found a way to involve herself in things while feign innocence.”

His words make you raise a brow. You never knew if the Hand’s anger towards the Princess came from how she treated Alicent or his grandchildren, or if it came from the pressure he felt to get Aegon on the throne. Perhaps it is Alicent, even all this time and animosity, still craving a relationship with Rhaenyra that eats him up the most.

“You do not need to worry about that. Everything will be put to rest once the rightful heir is put on the throne, and any possible threats have been ridden,” his tone turns stern. You scoff sardonically in response. This is never going to end till there is a clear winner, and win to means there was a fight. War. That would only start if…

“The Queen would never let you do that. Usurp the throne or kill Rhaenyra,” you say immediately. Otto eyes narrow; the tell. It will always be Rhaenyra for his daughter, and it burns him inside. But that can be used in your favor. “Not unless she had more reason to. Rhaenyra could be a good queen for all we know, but her brazenness will always be her pitfall. Now she has Daemon at her side. Spilled blood is clearly not something he is worried about.”

You sit back in your chair and think for a second. Entitlement is like a dangerous herbal, and many members of this family get off on it.

“If you want Aegon on the throne, it may be best to take your time with this. Give Rhaenyra the chance to do what you think she does best… mess it up.”

By the time the power struggle between Rhaenyra and Daemon finally comes to fruition, maybe Aegon think differently. Your mind goes to Aemond, stewing silently about how his brother manages to get everything handed to him. You bite back a smile. Is a miserable existence to always be in the cards for him? If being with you is so terrible to him, maybe that is exactly what he deserves.

“I think I know how to start this off.”

———

You leave Otto’s study, but not before he leaves you with a long, meaningful glance and tells you he needs to discuss somethings with others. You assume it is the council, but you have a feeling his daughter is not privy to that.

The next time you see everyone is at dinner. Your eyes strained on the empty plate in front of you. A sick feeling coming over you every time you look down the table at Daemon and Rhaenyra. A large gap for the king between Rhaenyra and Alicent.

There is something unsettling about how everyone seems to think what happened in the Grand Hall was nothing. You all saw a man beheaded, and now are to sit down to a "family meal" at the behest of the King. The only mention of Vaemond comes in a prayer from Alicent; you catch the eyeroll given by Daemon. The lives of others are expendable if it prolongs or prompts up whatever claim is being fought for.

False promises do nothing to move you while that is all that makes up the Targaryen family. False promises to make up for future deceit. The gull of Viserys to plea for peace when many the broken relationships in the family can be tied to him. Tied to his indecisive, feeble reign as a king. The King That Never Should Have Been perhaps.

A sick sense of irony rushes over you watching his rioting body and empty eye socket while sitting next to Aemond. You have learned that the Gods can be deliciously cruel.

The crown not stand strong is the House of the Dragon remains divided

It’s all flowery words that seem to go in one ear and out the other for your peers. You can tell by the way Aegon’s eyes gloss over, Helaena brows burrow as she fiddles with whatever butterfly Aegon gave her, and how Aemond’s back stiffens that this final push for family unity comes too late. But it seems that all the older adults in the room are moved by the Viserys' speech, or at least Alicent and Rhaenyra are.

You and Otto, sitting across from each other, share a look when Alicent says that Rhaenyra would make a fine queen. The Queen and Princess exchange shy smiles and peripheral glances; for a moment, they look like young girls, untarnished by the world around them.

Your eyes catch Jacaerys’, and he gives you a warm smile. You try to replicate it to the best of your ability. None of Rhaenyra or Daemon’s children have done anything to make you suspicious of them, especially Baela and Rhaena. But you do notice how Lucerys never seems to look you in the eyes. You are still trying to figure out if that is a byproduct of you being Aemond’s wife or if he is privy to information.

When you were receiving offers for your hand, Jacaerys’ name had come up by members of your house but was instantly shut down by your parents. Though the idea of you being future Queen of the Seven Kingdoms was tempting, but they did want to risk the embarrassment of the worst kept secret being spoken. Marrying a bastard was not the vision they had for you, Queen or not.

But when the music behinds, you do get an idea.

“I going to dance,” you whisper to Aemond.

“You know I do not like dancing,” Aemond sighs, and Aegon gives you a look at the corner of his eye. You roll your eyes at him. You remember the lecture his mother had to give him before the wedding festivities about being a good sport, and dancing with you.

“I never said I wanted to dance with you,” you hiss at him, and get up. You feel Aemond and Aegon watching you as you walk to Jace.

“I was wondering if we could dance,” you hold your hand out. Eyes going from Jace to Baela. “If your betrothed is fine with it of course.”

Baela gives you a good-natured shrug and smile. Jace looks surprised by your offer, but nonetheless grabs your hand and leads you to the free area near the table. You turn back briefly to see Aegon and Aemond look at you with mirrored looks of disbelief and disgust. You have duck your head to keep from laughing.

“I have to warn you I am not much of dancer,” Jace smiles as you begin to dance. “But I am sure I cannot be any worse than my uncle.”

You raise a brow at the comment but say nothing. While you are dancing, you see Viserys get carried out. The fact that he has lived to this point is a marvel… and a confusion. He refuses to go away.

“I do hope after that all of this, our families can see each other more often,” he lowers his voice slightly. The sentence seemed sincere enough, but he has also grown up having pretend half of him does not exist. If it is something Alicent and Rhaenyra’s children have in common, it is knowing when to put on a front. They learned it beautifully from their mothers. “I am sure Daella would appreciate seeing Dragonstone. And the girls would love you around.”

There is that mention of Dragonstone again. Before you can even reply, a commotion disturbs you. You turn to see Aemond standing with a drink in his hand.

“I want to make some final tributes,” a small smirk comes onto his face, and his eye flicks over to you. “First, to my dear wife. A gracious mother, and always keeps me on my toes.”

Your face gets hot when everyone’s eyes turn to you. Alicent looks at her son with a nervous look in her big eyes, confused by his sudden need to speak after a dinner of silence.

“And to health of my nephews - Jace, Luke, and Joffrey,” a sinking feeling comes into your stomach. There’s a glint in Aemond’s eye that you recognize all too well, and know not to trust. You see Jace’s shoulders tense at the mention of him and his brothers. “Each of them handsome, wise…. Strong.”

Your throat tightens. Even putting aside, the absolute irony of that coming from him now, you all just saw what happened to someone who questions the parentage of them. And now he is doing here in front of everyone.

“Aemond,” you begin, not even caring to use formalities with him. He cuts you off and continues.

“Come, let us drain our cups to the three Strong boys.”

And of course, to make matters worse, Aegon confidently raises his goblet in the air. They’re imbeciles. Everything seems to happen in slow motion - Jace punching Aemond, Aemond pushing Jace with ease, to out of the corner of your eye, Aegon slamming Luke’s face into the table. You wince at the scene before you as Helaena gets up to move you out of the way of the guards restraining Jace and Luke.

Alicent and Rhaenyra both get up from the table, yelling at their boys to stop. You take notice of the roasted pig on the table; you had heard about the pink dread prank from Helaena. It was never something you pushed with Aemond or Aegon, knowing it led to a large rift in their relationship. You know they love each other; you can tell by the way they backed each other up that they do. They just do not have the words to express their love, or their pain.

A dinner that was meant to bring everyone together ruined. There will probably always be too much bad blood, and not enough honest or apologies for reconciliation. Before Daemon leaves the room after staring Aemond down, he gives you a smile filled with mirth. A chill runs up your spine.

You watch as Alicent all but walks up to Rhaenyra, eyes soft and pleading. She gently rubs her arm as they smile at each other.

With the dinner going wrong, Aemond stalking out of the room, and learning about the map - everything seems to be put into perspective. As you watch your good mother, you wonder if that is how you will be with Aemond. Always waiting and ready for reconciliation, even despite mistreatment. Foolishly dismissive to how you can be hurt again if it means just moments of reprieve. Or maybe a better comparison would be Rhaenyra and Daemon. Knowing exactly what situation you got into, but still finding yourself wanting more because you thought you would be the exception. Both scenarios mean being in a constant loop of love and hate, praying for the day you reach apathy.

Rhaenyra seems to share Alicent’s warm disposition. Everything is warm and lovely when Rhaenyra smile. She is the Realm’s Delight for a reason. Even with the little time you have spent around Rhaenyra, you see how she operates. It is the way all Targaryens are treat her like the world revolves around her, and she’s yours. Entitlement and confidence used to mask a hallow shell, a trait she shares with her husband.

The possible reconnection of old companions would be a sweet affair. Instead, you finally get the complaining Aegon does about his half-sister. To hear the praises of those who have little regard for you.

Daemon giving Aemond the map, Alys introduction into your life, Rhaenyra telling you Dragonstone will always be a place you can go, and your families ties to this family are all connected. The same way your marriage to Aemond was always leading to something.

It was always a question you pondered since coming to the Red Keep. Does the Iron Throne corrupt those who vie for it or do those who vie for it corrupt the Crown itself?

Now not only have you been caught in the crossfire, but you children as well. And who knows what will come of the rest of your family once King Viserys dies. One thing you do know is that you will not leave any stone unturned by the time Rhaenyra tries to sit the throne. If your involvement is what they want, your involvement is what they will get. If your happiness and well-being is worth the price of the throne, what would happen if it was taken away right when she had it? Like your stability or sanity, ripped away without any caution or care.

This power that Rhaenyra is sure is hers to claim. The one that those want so badly for Aegon. The seat Aemond watches enviously as Aegon scoffs at the idea of it.

“Princess Rhaenyra,” you call out after her before she leaves the dining hall. You reach out to grab her hand in a similar manner to Alicent. “I want to talk with you about Dragonstone.”

If they are willing to rip each other apart for the Iron Throne, so be it.

Aegon and Aemond stare at you like you have three heads when you tell them about wanting to stay at Dragonstone. Aegon goes as far as to giggle at your proposal. His eyes wild and glossy from the abundance of wine.

A part of you thought maybe you should just leave, but you know them. There is nowhere you can go that they cannot find you on dragon back. Plus, you still had to explain everything to your parents. You let them in on you leaving while holding some cards to your chest. Their faces go through a mirage of expressions. Aegon's brows shooting up when you mention the tunnels and Daemon while Aemond's going painfully stoic. You know he does not want you or Aegon to get a read on what he is thinking.

"So, you think Daemon and by extension Rhaenyra knew about the Strong whore, and wanted you to be upset enough to leave," Aegon begins sardonically, and Aemond's eye flickers to him when he says whore. "And in response.... you are leaving. Wow dearest, you are really sticking it to them."

You glare at him. You know he is hurt that you are leaving, even if it is for a short time. He is upset that this all leads back to the throne. For every part of Aegon that is loyal and loves deeply, there are parts that are equally selfish. It hits you that Aegon has never had to try with relationships; the only ones he knows are with women that are his family or with ones where he can buy their affection. Those women have no choice but to be around. But you are leaving, and without him… that would be a blow he would not recover from.

"I am not going for long, and I will be taking Quinton with me," you say, and Aegon rolls his eyes in response. "They involved my son, so I will get to the bottom of it."

"I'm sure Jace will be thrilled to hear it," he scoffs.

"You have no right to be jealous; you are not my husband."

It was cruel to say, and you can tell by the way his resolve turns from anger to bitterness. "I am needlessly reminded of that, thank you."

Your brows furrow at that. Who is reminds him of that? You sigh, running your hands over your face.

“This is punishment. This is because of me.”

Aemond finally speaks up, interrupting your argument with Aegon. He looks away from the fire and at you with a look you have not seen in moons. Sadness. You are sure this news is a lot for him to take in. It would be a lie to say that you are not at least a little happy that he feels uneasy about you possibly leaving. Or a little happy that the love story he had built in his head was not exactly what it seems.

It would serve him right. He felt comfortable enough to do what he has done because there was always the expectation you would be around. Sitting in the Red Keep, taking care of your children and waiting to him to finally come around.

“Give us the room,” you whisper to Aegon. He leaves in a huff, not happy with you. You walk over and sit on the seat opposite to Aemond's.

The only noise that permeates throughout the room is the crackling of the fire in front of you two.

“It is foolish for you to think they would not harm you, especially now,” he starts to fiddle with his fingers, a tick he has picked up from his mother. “You would in place surrounded by her people… by dragons.”

“She would not hurt me. Not now, she wants my family’s support,” you rebut.

He does not answer right away.

“You would be giving her exactly what she wants. Us apart.”

Us. You two have not been an ‘us’ for quite some time, and Aemond referring to you as that makes you chuckle coldly.

“That’s the point, dear husband,” your eyes drift from him to the burning flames. “You know how your sister is. She wants everything entirely too much, and now she has a guard dog, planning and watching her every move. This just one step in her 'preparing' for the throne, and what may happen if she takes it."

“She is not fit for the throne. Neither of them is,” he says bitterly. “It would cut her up inside and out just like it did my….”

He trails off softly. Viserys was never made to be King, but then again who is. By the time everything falls into place, things will be different.

“So, we let it.”

Your conversation is stopped by Quinton opening the door for Jayne.

"Sorry, my lady but your parents were asking for you," she says softly. You notice how her eyes seem to survey the room. Taking inspection of anything and everything in it. Your parents watched Daella and Alaric for you during dinner. You nod in acknowledgment, but as you get up you notice the necklace she wears.

A gold plaited coin dangling on a dainty gold chain, perfectly matching the earring you found in the tunnel. Your blood runs cold.

"Thank you, Jayne," you stand up slowly as your eyes go to Aemond. You hope he can read something, anything from the look in your eyes. Your eyes travel to the wall where the secret door is. His eye looks at you, then to Jayne, and you watch him swallow and sink back into the chair.

"Ser Quinton, if you do not mind staying," Aemond says softly, going back to staring at the fire. "I have something I need you to tend to."

Quinton gives you a skeptical look, knowing the tense history between him and Aemond but you give him a reassuring smile.

Maybe it is time Quinton proves his unwavering loyalty to you.

“I just need…. to get away,” it was not a complete lie. On top of having things to figure out, you were looking forward to getting away from the Red Keep. Even if it was to Dragonstone of all places.

Your father had giving you a skeptical look when you mentioned going to Dragonstone. You tell him this the perfect time for him to stay in King’s Landing in your stead. You whisper to him to stay close to the Hand and to Prince Aegon. When his resolve still did not chance, you told him about this being an opportunity for Daella to get connected to her ancestral home, and he understood. He always has a soft heart when it comes to his grandchildren.

It was your mother who gave you the most grief about the proposition. She stays in the room after your father has left.

“I do not think it is appropriate you leave your husband,” she sighs. “Especially at a time like this.”

It has always been her concern. Your allegiance to Aemond and in turn to the who she thinks should sit the throne. A part of you wants to tell her the plan. Maybe rub in her face that Aegon wants you.

But you know you would not be met with an impressed gaze or her questioning how your life has come to this place. Instead, she would ask why you haven’t debased yourself for him yet? Why haven’t you jumped at the chance to be in his bed, in his mind, under his skin the way real lovers do. Sometimes you look at Aegon and ask yourself the same questions. The most frustrating part is you know he would take you up on it. Aegon would indulge the most depraved parts of you because those of the ones he likes the most.

Your mother always manages to seep her way into things that should be good for you. It happened moons ago when you first became friends with Helaena. It is how you are in this mess now. Telling her about Aegon before the right time would be fatal. A blow to your plan, and the last remaining pieces of your heart.

“Perhaps he can come with you?”

“The point is to have some time away from each other. He thinks it would do us some good too.” Your spine feels tight as you are painfully aware of your posture in front of her, “The Princess offered, and it would be rude not take her up on it. She is till the heir till otherwise.”

Your mother stares at you for a moment. She scrutinizes every part of your face, the face she gave you wholly. Her only daughter. The person she has invested so much in.

“You always do this,” she starts coldly. “Shrivel up when things do not go your way. You have so much put in front of you, and you do so little with it. Leaving your husband when things are tough? I thought I raised you better than that.”

A lump grows in your throat. You are taken back to your wedding day. Your mother talking you through a panic attack, telling you to think of your future. That not going through with the marriage means throwing away years of work. In the end, you walked down the aisle. You followed through, and now the debt comes due. You are her biggest star, and her gravest disappointment.

Everything she could have had, and nothing she ever was at your age. You know your mother is happy with her position now, later in life. Reaping the benefits of your father’s house, but it was not always like that. There was never an opportunity to be draped in silk or have the ear of the royal family when she was your age.

“When this does not work, I hope you will not go running to your father.”

And with that she gets up and leaves you in the kids’ room.

You flinch when the door slams. As you sit in silence, you wonder if you would have gotten a different response if you told her about Alys. Maybe she would have pulled you into her arms like she did when you were younger. Deep down, you know she would have asked you what you did wrong; what did you do to make Aemond want to find comfort in another woman. Regardless of the pretenses, he still jumped at the first chance he got at something he saw as real. She would see it as a sign of failure on her part. She did not instill the right values in you to keep your husband happy. She has a funny way of flipping everything on its head, and yet you still crave any validation from her.

Your mother is as cruel as she is dutiful. As cold as she is charming. And as calculating as she is hurt and wounded by the world, she grew up in. The more your plan falls into place the more you find solace.

You are your mother’s daughter.

Taglist: @hydrationqueensworld @xkennobi @dc-marvel-girl96 @lyannesworld @msmarvel-19 @tremendouswolfsaladranch @widemiffyhappy @thenovelcarnival @hanihoney88 @kore-of-the-underworld @xoprincessmel @strawbrryquinn @targaryenmoony @blazzlynch @curlszx88 @crazymusicgirl104 @fanfics4ever @anndraco0523 @weepingwitchofthewest @alinagonewlid @signyventia

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

the fulfilled motifs in alhaitham and kaveh's relationship are on my brain!!

- most poignantly, the two coming together to unveil the temple of silence in cyno’s story quest, which parallels their thesis on ancient architecture and runes of king deshret’s era, as the two appropriate the other’s respective signature (alhaitham recognises architectural structures whereas kaveh is struck by the beauty of an emblem) - where the two once fell out due to the disharmony of their viewpoints, they have reconciled them within this quest

- there’s the two working together in the house of daena, where they argued in the house of daena upon meeting them in the archon quest, where they were described to have a ‘terrible’ relationship by the npc geoff, which is mirrored in cyno’s story quest by the two actively working together - as well as paralleling the npc archon quest scene the player has to actively seek out in which the two argue once more, whereas in cyno’s story quest, the two willingly exchange information and are supportive in helping the other

- we have the fulfilment of kaveh losing his family and therefore his idea of ‘home’ through him actively referring to the house he and alhaitham share as ‘home’, and that he wants to return to it together with alhaitham, as a set, and by implication a family, in cyno’s story quest

- by extension, kaveh not concealing his living arrangements by openly referring to him and alhaitham’s ‘home’ in front of his friends, which refers back to when kaveh asks the traveller to keep it a secret upon meeting him officially in alhaitham’s story quest

- kaveh buying wine and coffee beans in the tavern, alhaitham and kaveh sharing wine in their house, which is something they are mentioned to do in the bulletin boards of sumeru as well as in alhaitham's story quest, going hand in hand with the two drinking coffee together in the house of daena, with kaveh mentioning he wishes he had made some for them before leaving the house, which refers back to his 2023 birthday letter where he and alhaitham taste tested coffee beans (i am, once again asking, for an alhaitham mention in 2024....),

for future sumeru quests or events i am thinking of the unfulfilled instances or things that can be addressed??

- whether kaveh accepts alhaitham's research into sachin's influence over his father as closure for his involvement in his father disappearing into the desert, as his reaction differs from whether alhaitham tells him vs when the traveller tells him. since cyno's story quest 2 indicates that alhaitham telling him is what happened in canon, this subsequently betters their relationship. the idea of kaveh's cycle of self-detriment due to his past guilt hasn't been addressed since apop and it remains uncertain as to if kaveh has made steps to forgive himself or if he even wants to. this development of kaveh's character is truly interesting and i would love to see it explored at some point, and also in turn what alhaitham's involvement is in this, as in his newly accepted support of kaveh

- kaveh writing to/visiting his mother in fontaine? or at least a mention of kaveh's mother, as his hangout has a heavy focus on faranak's past relationship with kaveh and her hopes for his future, which we see in her advice to him as a struggling artist being that to found reliable companions. if kaveh undergoes a reconciliation arc within himself, as in he aims to forgive himself for his past guilt, then it would make sense for him to have a reconnection with his mother to talk about the past in order to truly look to the future

- kaveh and alhaitham having a role to play in the exploration of the temple of silence in future events - hints of this may be seen in sethos cautioning cyno that he may only invite people he and lord kusanali deem worthy, for cyno to then tell alhaitham and kaveh upon arriving back in sumeru. To this, kaveh expresses an open interest and cyno tells him that he will have an opportunity to investigate in the future. As alhaitham and kaveh have teamed up together in order to investigate into the temple of silence, and are indirectly connected to it through their thesis of king deshret, it seems they will likely be a part of the role the temple of silence will play in the future

(- i thought that an unfulfilled instance could be kaveh referring to alhaitham as his friend in game as this would be a callback to when paimon asked whether he and alhaitham were friends, to which he replied that they ‘used to be’ but weren’t anymore… but in terms of how alhaitham and kaveh's relationship is handled in-game, i think queercoding plays a big part in having labels such as ‘friends’ continue to be evaded (i have spoken about definitive labels being avoided in the writing of haikaveh here), this is backed up by sethos’ voice line as the two are paired together as “alhaitham and kaveh” and are referenced as a set with “those two”, rather than a definitive label such as ‘roommates’ or ‘friends’ being placed on them. Rather, they are conceived to be something outside of this, as sethos conveys their ‘otherness’ with “something about those two hanging out, you just can’t look away”, so i think, imo, it would fall more in line for them to continually not be assigned definitive relationship status, but if the improvement of their relationship is actually mentioned in-game since it was only shown and not told in cyno's story quest 2, it would make sense for them to say something that indicates they overcame misunderstandings or something vague like that. as there's an air of secrecy around alhaitham and kaveh's relationship, the traveller won't ever be privy to the specific details)

[cinnamongorll]

a fragile line - chapter 30

read on ao3! (139k words) | previous chapter | next chapter | masterlist

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female OC

Series tags: extreme slow burn, age gap, older man/younger woman, protective joel, jealous joel, hurt/comfort, pov third person, mutual pining, angst, sexual tension, friends to lovers, canon-typical violence, feral joel, parental abuse, eventual smut.

Series synopsis: three years ago, Juliet escaped her father's religious survivor camp, ending up in the Boston QZ. Juliet created a life for herself in Boston, desperate to forget the trauma of her upbringing. One day, Juliet arrives home to find a mysterious letter which forces her to return to her home town. Juliet can't travel the harsh post-apocalyptic landscape alone, so she enlists the help of the grumpy and, at times, frightening man she works alongside: Joel Miller.

Word count: 3.6k

Chapter 30:

Juliet's POV:

“Joel.”

His name caught in her throat like a burning hot coal. 

He stared down at her, his chest moving quickly as he struggled to catch his breath. A layer of sweat shone on his head, illuminated by the singular light hanging in the corner of the stables.

His eyes scanned her face. They were open wide, allowing Juliet to see the confusion and desperate fear burning around his pupils. 

“I have to leave,” she croaked out and forced her head to turn away from him as she bent to grab her bag. 

Juliet hadn’t moved an inch before Joel’s hand gripped her forearm, demanding her attention. Her head swung back to him. 

“Explain, now,” he commanded breathlessly, visibly holding his rage back.

Juliet swallowed and shook her head. Her eyes didn’t leave his face. 

All Juliet could hear in her mind was the memory of her father’s bitter cold words, smashing her entire life into sharp, foreign shapes. 

She didn’t know who she was anymore.  

How could she explain that to him? 

Her brain was screaming at her to push past Joel, to get on her horse, to find where she came from, to find out who she truly was.

But Joel’s grip on her was strong, stronger even than the hand holding her in place. 

Juliet wet her lips, then she lay her shattered heart at Joel’s feet:

“He wasn’t my father,” she whispered. 

Joel’s hand tightened as the line between his eyebrows deepened. 

“What?” 

“I remembered,” Juliet murmured, then cleared her throat and shifted her gaze to lock on Joel’s forehead so she didn’t have to watch his reaction. 

“I remembered what he told me that night… before you found me.”

Joel flinched and Juliet felt his fingers flex against her forearm as his jaw tightened. 

“He wasn’t my real father. Elijah -” Juliet’s breath caught as the foreign name left her lips. She had never referred to him by his first name; it tasted like ash in her mouth. 

“Elijah killed my parents, Joel, my real parents,” she whispered, not daring to say the words too loud, lest they become too real in her mind. “He told me right before he died.” 

Joel stayed silent. The tightening of his hand on her arm was the only assurance that he had heard her. 

“I have to go back -”

“No.” 

Juliet gasped as Joel’s other hand gripped her other arm, now locking her fully in his grip. 

“Joel, stop,” Juliet argued as she struggled against him. 

Joel shook his head as his eyes darkened even further in the low lighting. 

“Not a chance,” he ground out as his hands moved from Juliet’s arms to her waist and, with a deep groan, he lifted her up over his shoulder.

He started moving almost immediately, striding out of the stables as Juliet’s fists began to pound against his back.

“Let me go!” Juliet grunted. She was panicking now as her anxiety grew into a fierce flame in her chest. 

She couldn’t stay here. She couldn’t pretend that she didn’t know.

Juliet wanted closure, she craved it. She couldn’t close that chapter of her life now that her memory had wedged the door open. Juliet couldn’t push out the horror that seeped through the crack and pretend that she was healing, she had to confront it, she had to face it. 

She had to go back. 

Saying that to Joel, when he had fought and killed to save her from that place… Juliet almost choked on her guilt. 

But the knowledge that she wasn’t her father’s daughter, that maybe she wasn’t destined to end up like him, and that there might have been people who actually loved her… that desperate need to find out more was stronger than her guilt. 

Juliet’s world was upside down as she swung over Joel’s back.

Through blurry eyes she watched the grass he walked on descend into stones then into the concrete lining Jackson’s mainstreet as her fists slowed and her cries quietened. 

Joel wasn’t letting go. 

But neither was Juliet. 

When his weakened stride finally stopped, Juliet recognised the dark wood of his front door and she squeezed her eyes shut as she remembered her knuckles striking off of it all those months ago. 

“I’m gonna put you down and we’re gonna go inside and talk,” Joel instructed, and Juliet could feel the rumble of his voice against her chest. 

A small gust of wind blew against her face, drying the tears which had gathered under her eyes. Juliet waited for her feet to hit the ground. 

“You hear me?” he said louder, startling Juliet. 

She should feel angry that Joel stopped her and that, once again, he had taken away her choice. But Juliet’s rage was a tall candle in a frosted window; its flame burned quietly, but it couldn’t go anywhere. 

She was tired and she was restless. Her anger was second to the wild, desperate need within her to run, to listen to the voice that called her home.

It was difficult to remember that only hours ago she was at the dance, watching her friends twirl under the Christmas lights. It was still the same night, the sky hadn’t begun to lighten and yet everything had changed. She had changed. 

If only she had gone to bed, and not walked down those basement stairs. Juliet would have still be hopeful. Hopeful that she might become a whole person again, hopeful that her and Joel might be able to mend the cracks between them. 

In her basement, Juliet came face to face with the rotten mess of her soul once again. But this time, she could see a way to cut it out, to rid herself of it forever. She couldn’t give up that chance. 

“Yes,” Juliet agreed, her voice was numb and lifeless.

Slowly, Joel’s hands brought her back down until her boots hit the wooden porch. 

She didn’t look at him. She couldn’t. Juliet knew that she would either see that same numbness reflected back into Joel’s eyes or worse, an echo of the hurt she felt. 

Joel reached around her and turned the handle on the door, pushing it open into the dark house. Juliet sucked in a breath when he drew near but forced herself to turn and step through the doorway.

She stood in the hall as Joel turned on the lights, moving slowly as he switched on the lamps in the living room. 

When he was done, the air turned expectant, like the house had awaited her return. 

Juliet looked up, searching for Joel and found him standing by the coffee table. He stood tall, his typical iron stance was in full effect. Juliet would have thought it was a usual night in Jackson for him, if it weren’t for his trembling hands curling into fists against his jeans.

The sight made something inside Juliet seize up. She wanted to rush to him and close her fingers around his. To get on her knees in front of him and beg for his forgiveness, beg for his permission to leave him, to leave this sanctuary.

Juliet knew that she didn’t need his permission. 

But god did she crave his forgiveness. 

Her footsteps were quiet and careful as she moved into the living room and sunk into the leather couch. Joel followed her movements like a hunter with a rifle. 

Then he took his shot:

“I shouldn’t have hit him,” Joel said, rubbing his fingers over his jaw. 

Juliet’s eyebrows scrunched as her heart rate slowed. Joel’s hand dropped suddenly and he shifted his stance, then met her eyes again. 

“If that’s what this is about… if i’ve scared you, if you wanna stay away from me, I get it,” Joel practically stuttered, his voice low as his hand tapped in a nervous gesture against his thigh. 

“No,” Juliet breathed, shaking her head. 

Joel continued as though he hadn’t heard her denial, maybe he hadn’t. 

“But you don’t gotta leave Jackson,” he ground out, as though the words pained him. 

“It’s not you, Joel,” she said quickly, “I have to go back. I have to know -” 

Joel’s cold laugh cut her off. 

His mouth was curled in that way she remembered from their time on the road, when Joel’s armour was thick and immovable. 

“No, see, I just don’t believe it,” he said with a shrug as he raised his hand in front of him, emphasising his point. 

Juliet straightened her spine. 

“I just don’t believe that you would be stupid enough, after everything we went through to get here, everything you went through… that you’d just go back out there,” he paused, running a hand over his face, “on some fuckin’ fool’s errand.”

Juliet flinched. 

She dropped her gaze to her hands and allowed her eyes to follow the trails of scars which littered her pale flesh, while she listened to the sound of Joel’s breathing.  

With a shaky sigh, Juliet stood, rising from the couch as Joel shifted his stance, sweeping his gaze up and down her body. 

With a trembling hand, Juliet caught the edge of her top and lifted it up until she met the edge of her bra. Then she stopped until she could meet Joel’s eyes. 

His black stare was glued to the brand on her stomach. 

“Remember this?” she asked quietly.

Joel’s eyes flashed to her’s. They were burning with what she knew as the cold, dark rage that simmered within him.

Juliet didn’t drop her hand, she let her father’s initials hang between them. 

“When I found out he was dead, I had this strange thought that he could never hurt me anymore, that maybe I could actually be rid of him,” Juliet began, stopping to laugh humorlessly at her stupidity.  

“Then I saw this,” she forced out, tilting her chin down to look at the letters burned forever on her skin. Her father’s claim on her. 

“And I knew that I was a fool,” Juliet’s eyes blinked up at Joel when she noticed him straighten. “I was a fool to think that I could ever escape him.” She paused, inhaling slowly. “I realised that in the QZ when he sent me that letter, and again when he forced the poker onto my skin.” 

“But the worst way I realised was when I started to kill people the same way I killed the infected. With no remorse, nothing but fear for myself, and… fear for you,” Juliet stopped suddenly, dropping her top and running a hand through her hair. 

“I thought that my father’s sickness had got to me through the blood we shared,” she whispered. “That I could never escape him because, in truth, I was just like him.”

Joel hadn’t moved; just stared down at her. 

“Then I went down into that fucking basement tonight,” Juliet laughed, rubbing her neck, “and it came back to me. He had told me what he’d done, but for some reason I just didn’t remember till now.” 

“He’s not my father,” Juliet said in a low voice, still struggling to verbalise her knowledge. “I don’t have to be like him anymore. Maybe the brand is the only thing left of him.”

Finally, Joel moved, shaking his head so viciously Juliet couldn’t help but take a step backwards when he took a step towards her. 

“You’re nothin like him,” he practically growled. 

Juliet’s eyes pricked with tears and she looked away, towards the door, then back to Joel. 

“Maybe,” she replied, inhaling another deep breath. “But I need proof.”

That broke Joel from his frozen state. 

He moved quickly, gripping her arms like he did in the stables. Gentler, this time, like his anger had been replaced by his terror. His hands moved up her arms, unable to settle on a place to touch her but unwilling to let her go. 

“I can’t stand by and watch you go on a suicide mission,” he fumed, his pupils flaring as he said the words. “Even if you make it there, and that’s an if, that town’s gonna be decimated. There’ll be nobody left.”

A muscle jumped in his jaw as he continued to stare down at her. His gaze wasn’t gentle; it felt like fire on her skin. 

“They barely had any food when we were there, and I killed their fuckin’ leader,” he scoffed. “It’s winter now,” Joel continued, “raiders will have got to them by now, you know that as well as I do.” 

He wasn’t wrong.  

Juliet felt the weight of his words land on her shoulders. 

“Danny,” she murmured, as the plan began to solidify in her mind, “Danny will know.”

“Who the fuck is Danny?” Joel demanded, tilting her chin up with his fingers until Juliet met his eyes. 

She swallowed. “He owned the bar,” Juliet clarified, “Ethan said he helped you both get me out.” 

Joel’s jaw shifted and his hand tightened on her arm, as though he was remembering that night in vivid detail. 

“What about him?” he said slowly. 

“He always said that he’d known me since I was a baby,” Juliet said lifelessly, “if anyone knows about my parents, it would be him.” 

Joel removed his hand from her arm to wipe it down his face as he groaned. 

“How’d you even know if he’s still alive?” he demanded, his voice hard and angry. 

“I don’t,” she whispered, blinking up at him. “But I have to go, I have to try.” 

He shook his head slowly.

“I can’t let you do this,” he decided.

Juliet stepped backwards, attempting to free herself from his grip, but he only tightened his hold on her.

“It’s not your choice, Joel,” she said quickly. 

“I’m not gonna let you get yourself killed,” he ground out, his eyes widening. 

Juliet flinched. 

“Don’t treat me like a child,” she whispered, repeating the words she said to him only hours ago, before they promised each other a future neither of them had the power to determine. 

“Don’t act like one,” Joel replied, standing taller. 

Juliet knew him well enough now. She knew that when Joel grew mean, it meant that he was frightened. 

But so was she. 

Juliet pulled herself from his grip, stepping backward until her legs hit the leather couch. 

Everything inside Juliet screamed to ask him to come with her. But she couldn’t. Joel had done too much for her already. She couldn’t ask this of him. 

Juliet had set her mind on this journey. She couldn’t live in Jackson and pretend that she didn’t know, pretend that the memory of Elijah wasn’t eating her up inside. 

Looking in his eyes, Juliet knew that Joel wasn’t going to let this go. Whether it be right or wrong, Joel would hold her down if it stopped her from putting her life in danger. 

He wanted to protect her, to keep her safe, even if it hurt her. 

Juliet squeezed her eyes shut when she remembered the look on his face that day outside her house, when he threw away everything they had built. Then she remembered, only hours ago, when he told her that he had done that for her, to protect her. 

She could do that too. 

That recklessness within Juliet was burning her alive from the inside. 

“I know about your daughter, Joel,” she said, forcing herself to look him in the eye, “Maria, told me.”

“Don’t,” he cautioned. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I know you’re scared to lose people, but I can do this. I can look after myself.” 

“Don’t say another word,” Joel warned with a quick shake of his head, eyes locked onto her.  

She shouldn’t have mentioned his daughter. She thought that if he were angry at her he might let her go, but her words seemed to have the opposite effect. 

“Joel -”

His hands curled into fists against his jeans.

“I meant what I said earlier,” he said forcefully, “I’m not lettin’ you go.” 

He reached up to rub his neck and for the first time all night Juliet realised how tired he looked. 

“It’s late,” Joel reminded her, “let’s go to bed. We’ll talk about this in the morning.”

From his tone, Juliet knew that his words were just to appease her. There would be no conversation in the morning. His mind was made up. 

‘Let’s go to bed’ 

Juliet almost teared up at the thought. 

She nodded and watched as Joel’s shoulders practically sagged with relief. 

He led her up the stairs with a gentle hand on the small of her back, not daring to let her walk behind him, lest she disappear. 

They lay on his bed, cushioned by his navy sheets and soft duvet. Juliet hadn’t realised how tired she was until her head hit the pillow and the crushing weight of the day fell onto her. 

She lay on her side, watching as Joel stared at the ceiling. 

Juliet ached to know what went through his mind in that moment. 

Just that morning, they had practically been strangers and now…

Juliet knew what she had to do. She couldn’t pretend she didn’t know; she couldn’t tuck that memory back in her mind and settle into life with Joel as though she had any idea who she was. 

No, Juliet had made up her mind. 

She only hoped that Joel would forgive her in the morning, when he found the space next to him empty. 

…………………………..

The winter sun pushed through the gaps in Joel’s curtains, spreading its rays across the room. 

Juliet rolled away from the window and swung an arm over her eyes, groaning. Then, like water had been poured over her, she sat up, suddenly reminded of where she was and what knowledge ran through her mind. 

Juliet’s breathing was heavy as she whipped her head to the side. Joel wasn’t there. 

Her feet hit the hardwood floor and she was up, speeding to the bedroom door as the fog of sleep still clung to the edges of her mind.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Juliet had meant to wake up at first light and sneak out without Joel realising, then head to the stables before the first patrol went out. 

She should have been gone by now. 

Her hand gripped the door handle and swung it open, then she was down the hall, swinging around the bannister as she raced down the stairs.

Fuck, she cursed herself. She’d missed her chance.

How could she be so stupid? To let herself sleep next to Joel, as though she’d ever be able to leave him like that?

When she reached the bottom of the stairs, Juliet stopped.

Stopped so suddenly that she had to reach for the bannister to stop herself from falling forward.

To her left, in the living room, sat Joel, on the couch, his elbows on his knees, bent almost in a prayer-like position. 

His head swung up when he noticed her. 

“Joel?” she breathed as her eyebrows furrowed.

“I don’t like it,” he said quickly as he straightened his back then lifted himself off the couch. 

Juliet’s eyes dropped down his body until she noticed the boots on his feet, wet with what looked like fresh snow.

She opened her mouth to voice her confusion but closed it just as fast when Joel drew closer. 

“It’s a bad idea,” he continued, standing in front of her now. 

Juliet’s stomach had dropped to her feet. What was he going to do? Block the door? Prevent her from ever leaving? 

“Joel, I know this -” 

“Shh,” he interrupted, raising his finger. 

“You goin’ out there alone, it’s not happenin’” Joel declared, his voice had a frightening edge to it. 

Juliet swallowed, then opened her mouth to protest. But Joel’s rough finger on her lips stopped her. 

“If you’re determined to do this,” he said with a shake of his head, “I know I can’t stop you.”

Juliet nearly stopped breathing.

“We do this together,” Joel vowed, brushing his finger over her lips, “and when we get back… that’s it, no more puttin’ our lives on the line, no more fuckin’ suicide missions.”

Despite the terror swirling around her heart, Juliet’s lips stretched into a small smile and Joel followed the movement with his careful touch. 

“Agreed,” she whispered, tilting her head down in a nod. 

Joel stared at her for a moment, his eyes roaming over her features, then he dropped his hand and turned around, reaching for something on the coffee table. 

It was his jacket. She’d left it at the mess hall the night before. 

“Found this,” he said quietly, turning to look out the window as though he were suddenly shy.

Juliet put the jacket on immediately. It still smelled like him. 

“Spoke to Tommy,” Joel revealed as he ran a hand over his face, “he’s not happy about it but he’ll let us go, said he’d spare a horse.” 

“That was nice of him,” Juliet said, stunned. 

Joel coughed out a laugh. “Yeah, well, it better be worth it.” 

Juliet‘s guilt began to creep in again, but she didn’t let it fester. This was what she wanted, she was finally going to get the closure she craved. 

Joel had turned around, heading over to the shelf in the living room where he kept some supplies. 

“Thank you,” Juliet breathed, watching closely as he stopped moving and turned to face her again.

“I told ya, not lettin’ you go again,” he replied, his voice rough. 

Despite everything that lay ahead of them, despite everything that raged in her mind… 

Juliet smiled.

________________________________

@amyispxnk @casa-boiardi @http-paprika @shotgun-shelby @weeping-werewolf @mysaviorjoelmiller @chlojoceycom

[lisbeth-kk]

Sherlock fandom

You Weren’t There

He never thought he would get here, doing what Ella wants him to do. Even Sherlock has nudged him in this direction. Gently, without any snark. 

“You’ll feel better, John. And no one has to see it. It’s a matter between you and the past,” Sherlock said softly and kissed his forehead.

So, here he is. Alone in 221B, pen in hand hovering over a sheet of paper. Ready to face and confront his parents, his only weapon a rollerball with black ink.

Mum and Dad

Once, I was your pride and joy. When and why did that change? Was it because of my lack of physical strength as a boy? My empathy for Harry when she came out as a lesbian? Or maybe it had to do with my trust issues. The issues you two are responsible for. Yes, you read that right. You. Both of you.

 I see now that you may have suffered from the same thing, because you never engaged with the other parents. They always thought you were happily married. You were always good at keeping up appearances.

Neither of you liked that I enjoyed music and wanted to learn to play the clarinet. You only allowed it because of my teacher who insisted that I’d join the music group, but you never cared. Not once did you attend a concert. You weren’t there. Never. Not for me. Not for Harry.

You’re both egocentric people who never should’ve had children. My miserable childhood notwithstanding, I’m glad of one thing; my life. Because I’ve finally found someone to love and who loves me in return. I know you won’t approve because it’s a man. The most brilliant, kind, loving, amazing, and extraordinary man who’s ever lived.

Because of your phobia against queerness, and my childish reluctance to disappoint you, I’ve been hiding my true self for decades. I even hurt this man, my Sherlock, for years since I was too afraid to come clean as a bisexual. And that fact haunts me the most. That I’m still having issues with this. I can’t blame you for all of it. I’m a grown man, but bad habits die hard.

This letter is supposed to be closure, a goodbye if you like. I have yet to decide if I want to send it to you. It’s about getting it all out, more for my sake than yours.

We married last month by the way. Harry was there. You weren’t invited. I know you never would’ve come anyway. Besides, I didn’t want you there. 

I’ve always detested weddings were everybody you know and are related to must be invited. Only people we love and care for were present.

You always had high hopes that I would marry when I became a doctor. It would be the perfect façade. Something you could brag about to your colleagues or whomever cared to listen to you.

If you ever get this letter, or if you already know, I bet everything I own that you’ve never mentioned it to anyone. To you, Harry and I are damaged goods. And when I write these words, I realise that I don’t care what you call me anymore, because I’m happy. For the first time in my adult life. Thanks to my husband, Sherlock Holmes.

John

He's mentally exhausted when he’s finished writing, and heads for the bathroom to wash off what feels like grime. The shower is like a cleansing and his entire body is relaxed. A considerable burden has been lifted off his shoulders and all that’s missing for this moment to be perfect is Sherlock.

When he opens the door to the bathroom, Sherlock waits for him with open arms. John’s heart skips a beat and his face lights up with the sight of his husband.

“I’m so proud of you, John,” Sherlock murmurs into John’s hair.

So, he’s read the letter. John left it on the desk for Sherlock to see, and he feels relief wash over him.

“It was easier than anticipated. Something I should’ve done ages ago.”

John cradles Sherlock cheek and locks eyes with him.

“Thank you for caring, for never faltering in your faith in me, for being there, for loving me” John says warmly.

“Always,” Sherlock retorts and kisses John’s palm tenderly before he seeks out John’s lips.

@flashfictionfridayofficial @totallysilvergirl @keirgreeneyes @calaisreno @phoenix27884 @a-victorian-girl @helloliriels @safedistancefrombeingsmart @gregorovitch-adler @raina-at @topsyturvy-turtely @peanitbear @7-percent @ninasnakie

[gem-femmes]

How to Move On Faster and Build Resilience

Dwelling on past failures and worries gets me exactly nowhere. Lately I've been trying to improve myself with the goal of becoming someone who moves on extremely fast, with resilience.

I'm hoping this change will help me navigate life's challenges more effectively and make me feel better in the everyday. I've written before about my annoying limiting belief that I can't ...

Here are the notes and guidelines I've collected that help me cultivate the ability of moving on fast:

🌱 1. Change Your Perspective on Setbacks

View Setbacks as Temporary: Tough times don’t last forever. But challenges are a normal and frequent part of life. See challenges as hurdles, not roadblocks.

Focus on the Lessons: Every experience, good or bad, teaches me something valuable. Take those lessons and grow.

💖 2. Cultivate Self-Compassion

Be Kind to Yourself: Don’t beat yourself up when things go wrong. Again, something always goes wrong, this is life. Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend.

Allow Yourself to Feel: It’s okay to feel. All feelings are valid. Process your emotions, and then gently move forward.

🌍 3. Practice Detachment

Recognize Impermanence: Change is the only constant. Embrace it, and let go of what no longer serves you.

Limit Emotional Investment: Care, but don’t over-invest in things beyond your control.

🧘‍♀️ 4. Strengthen Your Focus on the Present

Engage in Mindfulness: I'm the kind of person who can tend towards combative and destructive, so I have to remember to stay grounded in the now. It’s easy to get stuck in the past, but the present is where your power lies.

Break Tasks into Steps: Focus on what you can do next. Small steps lead to big changes. This sucks but it really works.

💪 5. Develop a Resilient Mindset

Embrace Flexibility: Life’s unpredictable. Be open to change, and adapt when necessary.

Build a Growth Mindset: See challenges as opportunities to grow, not reasons to give up.

🎯 6. Focus on What You Can Control

Act on the Controllable: Identify what you can change and take action. Let go of the rest.

Shift Your Energy: Move from dwelling on the past to creating a better present.

🌸 7. Surround Yourself with Positive Influences

Seek Support: Surround yourself with people who uplift and encourage you. Realistic vibes only. I don't want positive vibes when unwarranted, and don't want negative vibes full-stop.

Limit Negative Inputs: Protect your energy by avoiding negativity, whether it’s people, media, or environments. Emphasis on the media. Don't listen to music with lyrics containing negative messages; they become part of your reality and conditioning.

🚀 8. Set Future-Oriented Goals

Visualize Success: Focus on where you want to go, not where you’ve been. Set your sights on new goals. My past is full of achievements, but I have to move forward and not rest on my laurels.

Take Small Steps: Break your goals into achievable actions. Small wins build momentum.

🏃‍♂️ 9. Engage in Physical Activity

Exercise Regularly: Movement is medicine. It boosts mood and resilience.

Practice Relaxation Techniques: Yoga, meditation, and deep breathing help reduce stress and enhance emotional strength.

🌟 10. Practice Gratitude

Focus on the Positive: Shift your mindset from loss to abundance by regularly acknowledging what you’re thankful for.

Keep a Gratitude Journal: Write down what you’re grateful for each day. It’s a powerful habit.

✨ 11. Accept and Let Go

Acknowledge Closure: Recognize when something is over, and consciously decide to move on.

Perform a Letting-Go Ritual: Do something symbolic to release what’s holding you back. Burn that letter, delete those old texts—whatever it takes.

🌈 12. Embrace the Process

Understand It Takes Time: Moving on fast doesn’t mean rushing your emotions. Heal in your own time, but keep moving forward.

Celebrate Progress: Every step, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction. Celebrate it.

Resilience isn’t about avoiding pain. It’s about bouncing back stronger each time. 💪🌻

[numbuh-72]

[Package for Sector PHP]

Mourning AU (AU Belongs to @artsygirl0315 )

"Sector PHP,

I first wanna give all of you my deepest apologies for the trespassing. Please understand that there were no bad or malicious intentions... I only wanted to check up on you guys. Rest assured, I'm safe and ok, I was let out with a warning.

Though... I miss you all very much... It pains me to see you three in the current states you're in. I want to help... In anyway possible. So please... For Tyler if he reads this letter, contact me if.. You ever do... Need my help. I won't hesitate to rush over there and give you all the love and help you need... Even if it costs my own life.

Just, all I ask from you guys for now is to at least... Stay safe and my contact info is always open to you three if anything.

In the meantime, accept these gifts. It's... To hopefully help you three have some sort of closure. It works for me when I lost my brother. I hope this works in your favors too.

Love you all,

Gianna (Numbuh 72) "

Analog:

"I was able to finally build up courage to attempt my visit to Sector PHP recently... But... Sadly didn't go too well. Phoebe wouldn't let me in so I could comfort the Sector... Since they are under Tyler's orders.

So instead... I decided to send Luna and Everest to deliver a present to the graveyard. Hopefully Phoebe would notice it and hand it to Tyler. I need to get to them somehow...

After all, "They" asked me to be there for the team when needed most from our last conversation.

I must do everything to the best of my ability to fulfill their request.

For now once Everest and Luna deliver the present... I can only wait and see if Tyler and the others will ever be ready for my help... And... To prevent Alice from getting to them or me. I can lose control now... Must stand strong for their sakes."

- Numbuh 72, Signing off

[heizuhaevents]

HeiZuha-Week 2024

August 5th until August 11th!

Welcome to this year’s HeiZuha-Week, where we want to come together and create one or more special pieces about our favorite (to-be) couple!

You like the couple Kazuha and Heiji? Then you're at the right place!

As every year, the HeiZuha-Week will again include the Hattori-Day (August 10th)!

Around that time, our beloved Osakan Couple will return with a new case in the Japanese Manga-Series, so I decided on the theme

Reunion / Return

To give you some prompts, here’s the daily list!

Case Closure: Heiji returns to Osaka, after successfully solving a case in another city. Kazuha, who was worried during his abscence, waits for him. Ideas: dangerous case, lost case, dispute, argument, long-distance relationship

School Commitments: Because of commitments at school, Kazuha and Heiji haven’t had much time with each other. Finally, all commitments are over and they find a quiet moment. Ideas: school festival, tournaments, exams

Lost: Kazuha and/or Heiji get lost on a trip. After hours of searching, they find each other again. Ideas: Woods/Forest, dangerous case, big city, crowded place, snowstorm, school trip

Dangerous Situation: Kazuha/Heiji gets kidnapped/trapped in a dangerous situation (can be also funny dangerous, like accidentally trapped in the girl's changing room?) and the other has to come to the rescue! Will they be there in time? Ideas: kidnapping, accident, crash, trapped, captious situation

Old Friends: Years have passed and still no couple – even worse! They have lost sight of each other over the years (or maybe have fallen out?) ! Are they worried, the other half might have found a love? Ideas: Study abroad, working abroad, new old love, undercover mission, unsent letters, old memories, long-distance relationship

Another Life: In another life they find/found each other again. Will they recognize each other? Will things be different? Ideas: Isekai, Afterlife, Reincarnation, Past Lifes, Alternate Universes, timetravel/changing past

Returning Memories: May it be because of years passed or lost memory.. They remember old times and relive old feelings. What might their older self think about themselves? Ideas: Photos, lost memory, nostalgia

You can stick to the daily prompts or do an overall work for the whole week by using just the theme or combine different prompts as you like 🙂

It’s free for your interpretation but you can send an ask if you need some inspirational hints (^_^)

I hope for a lot of enjoyable creations!

More Info below the cut!

Some Guidelines

Use tag #HeiZuhaWeek2024 and/or #HeiZuhaWeek and tag this blog by using @heizuhaevents so I can find your entry(s)!

Post your work to the Ao3-Collection (if uploaded to Ao3)

You don't need to participate daily, just choose the topics you like or only use the overall theme to create a piece!

You're free to choose what you want to create! All kind of fanwork is appreciated, open to all creators of all skills! (^_^)

Follow this blog to not miss any of the creations or infos and updates on the event!

Spread the Word! (e.g. by reblogging this post) So we can gather a lot of participants to make this event a great experience! (^o^)/)

Have fun!

I'll reblog on this blog all creations. (^_~) Also after the event week.

(I'll reblog this announcement over the next weeks again as a reminder, but wanted to give enough time for everyone who's short on it!)

[resident-gay-bitch]

“oh, look, you were still a filthy little shit as a child too, my love.” remus said with a doting smile, holding up a picture frame with an image of sirius and regulus as small children. in it, regulus looked like the perfect angel child, and sirius was picking his nose.

“you are so good to me, moony.” sirius glanced at him, “such a kind soul.”

“i do try.” remus grinned and set the picture down.

they were cleaning out the bedrooms in the old black estate so there would be beds for the weasleys, and harry, and the granger girl, and whoever else needed shelter here. it was the first time since azkaban that sirius had been able to step foot in regulus’s room. its the first time he’s stepped foot in it since he left for the potters whilst still in school.

that seemed like a lifetime and a half ago now.

“how are you feeling with all this, padfoot?” remus asked, tossing more junk into the box he had under his arm.

“alright, considering…” he shrugged, because he really was doing the best he could. it was hard, being in here, still grieving the loss of his brother. never getting the closure he needed. he still grieved for everyone, even remus, “the abnormally romantically desperate poetry is keeping me sane- you know, if regulus was here right now, he’d actually cut off my hand and gouge out my eyes for reading his journals.”

remus laughed.

sirius held up one of the journals, an old one, “i remember when we were boys, regulus had just started to write and he’d left his page open on his desk and i… i started to read, and he stabbed my hand with his pen.”

remus just looked at him.

“you can laugh, you know? it’s funny.”

remus tried his best not to laugh.

“he was an aggressive little creiten.” sirius said with a smile, “you know, i’m wishing more than anything that he just… pop up out of thin air and stab me with his pen again for reading all these.”

remus let a little laugh out at that.

“i shouldn’t snoop, i know i shouldn’t, but…” he sighed and slapped the book down into the box he had beside him, “it’s all i have left of him, and so, i think it might be the closure i need.”

“i’m sure he’ll understand, sirius.” remus offered and then pondered the thought for a moment, “he might still have a violent outburst about it, but he’d understand.”

sirius laughed and nodded his head, “you’re right, moony. why must you always be right?”

remus tapped his noggin, “old and wise.”

“old, perhaps.” siris muttered under his breath, and remus threw an old little velvet box at him in retaliation.

sirius laughed before opening it, inspecting the insides. there lay a ring, one with regulus’s initials. sirius had a matching one, all the blacks did. a signet ring gifted to them before departing on the hogwarts express. an expectation to make the family name proud and grow into a fine young man with poise and prejudice.

fuck that.

sirius wore his ring for a total of seven hours before he’d removed it after getting sorted into gryffindor and got that horrid letter from his mother. he’d thrown it into the black lake the day he found out regulus had become like them, when his skin had been marked and his fate was sealed.

if only he knew, back then, that regulus wasn’t like them after all. that he just wanted to be seen, the same as sirius did.

sirius slid the ring onto his finger and hoped that wearing it would be enough.

he sighed and reached under the bed for another box. this one was smaller, a chest of sorts. he opened it to find a collection of letters.

sirius opened the one on top, it had the most wear and tear, and he smiled when he read the first line.

“oh, remus… have a look at this.” sirius laughed, holding up the letter, “regulus has love letters.”

“absolutely he did not.” remus shook his head.

“a whole box of them.” sirius nodded and held the paper back out to read again, “look, it says, dear regulus, my love.”

“who’s it from?” remus asked, leaning up against the counter.

“i’m not sure,” he shrugged, “it’s signed from his sun.”

remus squinted, “we’ll go on, read it out.”

“sorry, brother.” sirius said and cleared his throat, “dear regulus, my love, i hope this letter finds you well. i can’t bear to be without you. this summer break has been most painful, i miss you dearly. as you told me before we parted ways, you will look to the sun to find me, but i’ve noticed the sun has hidden away these past few days, so i am writing to you so you may find me like this instead. i still look to the sky every night and blow a kiss to your star. i think of you as i lay awake at night. i dream of you when sleep finally takes me, but it always comes easier with you in my arms- oh, remus. whoever this sun is, they’re a bloody sap.”

remus laughed, “yes, almost as sappy as you, sirius.” he smiled, “reminds me of james, a bit… he was such a romantic with lily.”

“don’t remind me.” sirius glared at him, “i had to hear every musing of that love fest.”

“i think i’ve heard enough, have you?” remus sighed, “you don’t want to invade their privacy any longer.”

“oh, but he was in love, moony.” sirius sighed, “there is no name! and i’ll only read this one.”

“i really don’t think you should-“

“sometimes, when i miss you so much it hurts my heart, i hold my hands up to block out your brothers face and pretend his smile is yours. it’s not quite the same, but it’s close enough. i find you everywhere, reg- wait, oh, they- they blocked out my smile?” sirius glanced up.

remus swallowed, “you should really put that down, sirius.”

“you know something.” sirius glared at him.

“i don’t.” remus pressed, averting his eyes.

“you do. you are a terrible liar!” he gasped, “you can’t lie to me, moony- what do you know?”

“it’s none of your business, sirius.” remus huffed, “your brothers' relationships are no matter to you.”

“but he was in love!” sirius pressed, “my little brother was in love, remus! he was in love with one of my- oh my goodness, is it you? did you write these-“

“oh, sirius, shut up.” remus sighed and glared at him, “your brother was a very handsome boy back in school, but i prefer long haired shit heads.”

sirius smiled with a little pout, “you are such a romantic, moony… and speaking of romantics-“

“sirius.” remus pressed.

“it’s torture not telling sirius about this, i tell him everything, but for you i’ll keep this safe. for you i would do anything, my love. i hope you don’t mind, but i may have told remus- you do know!” sirius gasped, “what do you know!”

“i made a vow to never tell you, sirius.” remus shook his head out, “i made a vow to the both of them, and even though he’s dead, i do not intend on breaking a vow with regulus black.”

sirius hummed, “you’re probably right to do that. he’s slimy. he’ll find a way to harm you for it.”

remus nodded.

sirius sighed and looked back at the letter, “i’m going to keep reading.”

“okay.” remus groaned, “but you can’t get mad.”

“why would i get mad?”

“you just would.” remus said.

“oh, it was lily.” sirius nodded, and the way that remus scrunched up his face told sirius that it certainly wasn’t lily, “peter? that… bastard-“

“not peter.” remus shook his head and got back to cleaning.

sirius sighed and read the letter again, “i just couldn’t keep this to myself anymore. he vowed to never tell a soul, and promised to make the same vow to you if you’d like. i have to tell someone about you, my love, about your letters. about your poetry. about your love. you are my everything, and i hold you so dear in my heart. i love you, regulus, more than all the stars in the galaxy. enjoy your solace, bask in it, i have to go listen to sirius talk about david bowie for another three hours, and then we’re going shopping with mum, so- wait!” sirius froze and read the last part out again, he could see remus tense up out of the corner of his eye, “shopping with mum, so pray for me. i’m kidding, i do love your brother very much. i hope we can tell him about this soon, i hope he will be happy for us. love, your sun. oh remus…”

“yes?” remus asked.

“it’s james… isn’t it?” he swallowed, “james was the one in love with my brother?”

“i can neither confirm nor deny.”

sirius dove back into the box of letters and kept searching until he found one with an address written on it, as well as a bedroom- james room. it was james. james had been writing his brother. james was in love with his brother. james was- “what the fuck?!” sirius shouted, waving the letters out and looking up to the sky, “you filthy, lying, brother-fucker! james- oh! i’ll- when i get up there, you’re dead! how could you lie for… for so long- oh, james… you- i’m so sorry.”

remus swallowed, “he wanted to tell you… after regulus died. he- he couldn’t bring himself to after he was marked, james felt completely betrayed. but… when he died, it hurt you so deeply, he didn’t want to risk angering you or hurting you more. and then after that, he just… he never found the time.”

sirius’s heart clenched for his best friend. he loved him. he loved his brother, and he braved the pain of losing him alone. he let sirius cry to him day in and day out about the pain and loss of regulus, and he was feeling the same. he was feeling it too. but he put on a brave face just so sirius wouldn’t hurt so much. so sirius had a stoic shoulder to cry on.

oh james.

you beautiful mess.

sirius prayed he had peace there, in the afterlife, wherever it may be. he hoped he had lily close by, and regulus too. he hoped james was happy again, and he’d be there soon. and the very first thing sirius plans to do when he meets his fate, is hold james just as tightly as james had held him all those years ago, and then he’d hold his brother the same.

sirius sighed and looked down at the letter in his hand, “we’re they… they were happy?”

“very.” remus nodded, “from what i know, james loved him very much.”

“oh, james.” sirius sniffled, holding back some tears, “my brother, why didn’t you tell me? you were- you were hurting just the same as i was- you- you let yourself go through all of that alone?”

“he wasn’t alone, sirius.”

sirius looked up at remus with a weak smile and nodded, “thank you, remus… for looking after us both.” 

remus walked over and crouched down in front of sirius, swept some of his hair back behind his ear, “is that not what love is for? caring for one another?”

“it is.” sirius clutched the letter to his chest and let out a tear, “i’m glad regulus had love, remus… before he died- both of them. they both deserve so much love.”

“and they have it.” remus whispered and kissed sirius between his brows, “as do you. i love you. they love you, even in death.”

“i miss them.” sirius sobbed, “oh, i miss them so much.”

“me too, my love.” remus let himself cry too, “me too.”

[emgavi]

I can't lose her (Gavi x reader)

Part 2 of Losing you slowly, hope it gives some of you closure from the last part.:)) 1,944 words

All you could hear around you was the busy life of the airport as you sat by your terminal for your flight. You were going to do this, you couldn’t believe it. Part of you was excited to go to New York City, but another part was thinking about what Gavi is doing now. By now you think he read your letter at your, well now his apartment. 

“Flight 309 to New York will be boarding in 5 minutes” 

Hearing the announcement I get my suitcase and head to the already forming long line near the entrance. Just as you stopped rolling your bag, you heard a voice call out behind you that sounded like your name. 

“y/n!” 

I turned around looking to the side of the people behind me to see… no… what is he doing here? There I see Gavi running towards me. Stunned at seeing him here especially since you didn’t know he would know you would be here at this time. 

“Gavi? What are you doing here?” i asked , puzzled as he came towards me.

Panting from running in, “i - i - I needed to see you. Y/n mi amor, i’m so sorry from the bottom of my heart i never meant to hurt you and not show up last night. I was texting you but I forgot to press send, that’s my fault completely. Everything. Please forgive m-”

You cut him off, feeling yourself start to grow angry again hearing him make more excuses, “Stop, Gavi, stop with the excuses, that’s all you ever give me. How hard is it to show respect in this relationship? I love you Gavi, i really do , which is why it is so hard to say goodbye even after all you’ve done.”

He looked at you with pleading eyes ‘i’ll be better, i’ll fix myself, please mi amor don’t leave me, I don’t want to lose you” he begged, reaching out to hold your hands but you pulled away before he could. Making him frown at your movements to distance yourself.

``Please Gavi, even if you did, how could I have full confidence that you won’t do it again?”

Gavi opened then closed his mouth, having an internal battle as you said that. Shaking his head , that’s when you notice tears fall from his eyes. You started to feel bad and wanted to comfort him but you were still upset so all you did was rubbed his shoulder.

“This is probably for the best, I bet you heard about my promotion, headquarters gavi, this is big and i’m sorry it had to end this way but I need to go.”

Gavi was about the response but then the announcer beat him to it, 

“Flight 309 to New York Gate will be closing soon”

He didn’t even realize that the rest of the people that once surrounded him were gone and in the plane, leaving only y/n and him outside. 

“I’ve got to go Gavi” you said as you started to back away.

Panicking again, he grabbed your hand softly, “por favor y/n, I don’t want you to leave like this, i - i don’t want to lose you, por favor give me another chance, what do i have to do to prove to you ??? i will do it , anything you say, please y/n” he said more tears falling from his face.

Struggling on the inside seeing him fall apart in front of you,  It makes you give in to the need to hold him. You go and hug him, and once you do his arms hold you tight like you might disappear while he puts his face to your hair, cherishing the moment you are willingly giving him. One he fears will be the last.

You both stand there for a few seconds before you start to pull away, “i have to do this Gavi, there’s no other opportunity like it…… I’ve gotta go. “

You turn quickly and make your way to the gate but before you’re far you hear Gavi speak something behind you

“I love you”

Closing your eyes, fighting to stay strong, you didn’t turn back to him instead kept walking but in your head you said it back, “

I love you too”. 

T H R E E   M O N T H S   L A T E R .

In Barcelona Gavi was a wreck. He was basically on auto pilot and everybody could see how much the break up affected him, even the barcelona fc staff. He tried to send you text messages every once and a while to let you know he was still there, but you never replied. He so desperately wished he could go see you and fix things.

Pedri looked at his poor friend who was kicking poorly at an attempt to practice penalty kicks.

Xavi, his coach was also looking alongside him, sighing “ that kid really can’t get over it’ .

Pedri turned his head to his coach, “no…he won’t stop talking about her” 

His coach nodded, growing concern lingered in him as he watched his rising young star start to struggle both in the game and life. “Does she still talk to him?” Pedri shook his head. 

He thought for a while then called Gavi over. As Gavi walked over to his coach he asked, ‘si coach?” 

“I’ve been watching you, and you haven’t been looking like yourself out there” Xavi started 

Gavi looked down in disappointment as he heard those words 

His coach continued, “I remember being your age, all the dumb decsions I made that i regret to this day…I’ll only do this once but…. He hesitated 

“I can arrange for you some time where you can leave to go fix your problems, however when you return you’ll have to sit on the bench for at least 3 games. Do you accept it?”

Gavi looked at him surprised , he certainly did not expect to hear that from his coach and so did pedri, nodding his head quickly, “si claro que si, gracias , muchas gracias!” Gavi said going to give him a hug. 

“One condition, you better be in playing form when you return” he told the boy. 

Shaking his head as he headed to the exit of the field, already knowing where he’d been wanting to go for three months, he shouted out, “gracias!” before finally leaving the field. Running over to his car to go straight to his apartment and pack.

In NYC…

It’s been 3 months since you’ve left barcelona… since you left Gavi. In that time you were enjoying yourself in your new city minus the heavy workload and some rude employers. You were finally living one of your goals.

You hadn’t talked to Gavi during that whole time but he did try to contact you. Calling or leaving you texts saying he hoped that you were having a good day. It was clear that he still didn’t want to let you go and from your talks with Aurora, Gavi wasn’t giving up. 

It was the winter time here in NYC which meant your apartment was way colder than it was in barcelona at this time. Still early in the morning on your day off you decided to make some hot chocolate to warm you up a bit. Turning up the music you took your hot chocolate and sat on your comfy lounge chair. 

Right when you were in a comfortable position taking one sip from the mug, a loud knock to your door rang out. Annoyed, you sighed and placed your mug down to open the door. 

Who in the world is out at this hour in almost blizzard conditions??? You thought as you walked up. As you opened the door and saw who was there, your eyes went wide.

“H-hola , can i come i- in?”  

There standing in front of your footstep was Gavi. Shivering from the lack of layers needed for NY weather. Quickly feeling the cold air enter your house you ushered him inside. Which he was very happy about entering a warm room. 

“Gracias,” he said, warming up his hands. You saw that he had a suitcase with him, raising your eyebrows.

“How did you know where I lived?” you asked if the only person you ever told in barcelona was Auror,,, oh, i'm going to talk to her after this.

“I think you already know judging your face right now’ he said 

“Why are you here? Why come all this way?” 

“To be with you” he said promptly and you gave him a confused look. 

“You said before you left that you needed to leave for this opportunity, so you are here, then i am here” he said plainly, even more confused you asked him 

“But what about barcelona gavi, your dream??, don’t you still want to play football? I can’t let you throw that away ``I told him sternly, this was crazy.

““You were about to risk your career for me so I’m risking mine for you because I love you and your more important and I should’ve shown you that all of those times but I was selfish, and incredibly stupid. I want to fix the mess I made and be here with you.” he said getting closer to you.

You were stunned at this, all the anger at him disappearing and started to feel your love creep in again for the brown eyed boy. You knew how much football meant to him, and he was choosing you over that, “Gavi i …i don’t know what to say” 

“Say you’ll let me stay with you, i’ll even sleep on the couch” he said

Still not getting over the fact that he seriously left barcelona during it’s season, “this is a sweet gesture to show me but i can’t let you throw away your chance to play Gavi, have you ever considered his completely, aren't you in season right now?” 

He smiled at you rambling over the concern for this career. He grabbed your hands which you let him, ‘you are worth everything, i was a wreck without you y/n , when you left I didn’t know what to do with myself, if this is enough to prove to you that I love you and im serious that i’ll change then i’m right where i should be.”

Taken aback from his words, and him staring deep into your eyes was the moment you felt yourself lean into him, he did the same. Stopping inches before your lips met, you looked up at his eyes, “one more chance’ you whispered on his lips 

He smiled wide “I promise you won’t regret it” then he leaned forward and met your lips. Holding you tightly, hands at your waist while yours around his neck, he kissed you as if trying to show you how much he missed and loved you. 

When you pulled away you asked, “wait but what are you going to say to Barcelona when you don’t show up for practice?” 

He gave you a smirk and pulled you closer “don’t worry mi amor, I got xavi to cover for me, turns out there’s a really good rehab specialist here in New York that barcelona likes to send their injured players sometimes, i got at least 1 month”

You looked at him surprised at the actually well calculated plan, “well then, with that taken care of, I guess it’s time for….New York adventures with y/n and Gavi!” you said excitedly 

He laughed then looked at you with a glow in his eyes, “te amo y/n”

Te amo tambien Gavi”  leaning up to kiss him. 

[kingsandbastardz]

reading this post by @kseniyagreen and this observation from @a-memory-a-distant-echo made a few cloudy images in my head finally solidify.

In an older post, there was an observation made by @difeisheng that both Di Feisheng and Li Lianhua were consistently positioned in shots throughout the entire story with DFS to the left and LLH to the right.

So I'd like to start here with the final two character shots of the last episode and the special episode:

Standing on actually different or metaphorically 'different' beaches, they still take their paired stances in the narrative to the very end.

But is that it? Is that all there is?

There's actually some transitional things happening here. Like in the entire narrative, both DFS and LLH mirror each other.

Look at these moments here side by side.

On the left, the camera drifts past Di Feisheng and picks up speed to go rushing across the ocean's water. Where is it heading?

On the right, the camera drifts past Li Lianhua and continues its slow and steady pace, reaches the open water and then... steadily slides back - gradually picking up a small bit of speed.

The ocean is that thing that connects dfs and llh.

The speed that the camera travels in dfs' scene is beifang baiyang - the overwhelming strength rushing forward with purpose. This is dfs internally, spiritually, reaching out and following llh.

LLH's camera meanwhile takes on the slow and steady characteristic of Yangzhouman. It gently travels to the ocean and then... goes backwards while increasing pace. As if a ghost were reaching out and then... perhaps making contact and pulling back?

I know both end scenes are shot on the same beach and they just moved further off to the side - but I do like the idea of them essentially finding each other again in the same spiritual space after having traveled mirrored to each other, in tandem, for so many years. One thing is very clear to me here. Di Feisheng's spirit is with LLH and even though he is late in his realization of what he wants - he'll continue to follow LLH's footsteps.

Just as Li Xiangyi dies, so too does the person that is "Di Feisheng". After all, as with Dao, there's no importance in a name if you know what and who you are.

These are the final two images of Di Feisheng as uploaded to Xiao Shunyao's and one of his studio staff's weibos. I also vaguely recall a final message as narrated by XSY, mentioning that he will continue to study martial arts and maybe travel. The world is vast and wide.

I think this beach is an appropriate resting place for Dao. As his blade is laid to rest, so too is the Demon Leader of Jinyuan Alliance.

*

It's unfortunate that we don't get to see more of Di Feisheng and Fang Duobing's relationship development. But we do at least get small hints seeded throughout. I like how right off the bat, they're thrown into tight proximity together - it's broadly hinted that Di Feisheng not only shares the guest bed with FDB, but he also ends up borrowing/stealing clothes from him.

Then we have LLH and FDB likely going shopping and putting together whole outfits for A'Fei - one of the outfits is the same cut as the Caillen Manor set.

And by the end, Fdb appears beside DFS in the same spot that LLH would have stood - wearing clothing that's the same cut as DFS' and black belt + bracer set that looks like they could have been pilfered from DFS' things.

This gives me some small closure in the sense that no matter what else you interpret happening in the physical world, I feel that Fang Duobing has taken Li Lianhua's final letter seriously. He's grasped onto Di Feisheng - and regardless of how you see their future relationship, it's not one where DFS will just drift away and disappear unnoticed. Not easily.

Li Lianhua isn't all that DFS has, even if he may not realize that yet.

I can rest my sense of security on the shoulders of Fang Duobing's stubborness.

*

Here's a collection of links for the bits and pieces that have been floating around in my head regarding how Di Feisheng and Li Lianhua are bound together in both life and death.

history of shared spiritual space with LLH living in a coffin made of the remaining pieces of his last memories of DFS. While DFS has literally entombed himself in a cave of stone.

dfs' spiritual influence on llh

llh bound to dfs' deaths

song lyrics written by Yan Yidan and Teng Ping regarding DFS' devastation at losing LLH

Dfs and llh narratively bound together - this is a bit dated now as I don't have as negative a view about DFS' end. But at its core, I think it still holds up.

And some links for Fang Duobing + Di Feisheng meta

@bbcphile's observation about dfs and fdb's ep41 sad beach outfit

early in the series, dfs had to borrow fdb's clothes at Caillen Manor

llh's last actions paving a way for dfs and fdb