#this is an excellent series

[miloucomehome]

VIVANT EPISODE 5

WHAT THE HACYUASL HELL (AGAIN)

(so good!!!)

First, first!!

The moment where Doram and Nozaki try to get Nogi's Face ID at the restaurant was adorably funny.

Also: The Nozaki-Doram-Genghis teamup later? Love it.

Onto the next stuff in this episode (there's so much. I'm only just touching upon some things)

Nozaki being written and treated as a very competent state agent makes me happy. He's not hyper-competent, he has "fun", he's not hyper-serious all the time (that shit-eating-"You won't believe the plan I've cooked up heheheheh"-grin he has is golden--he's smart. He'll mess with people if he needs to and shares only the necessary info he has with those he trusts (at the moment). He also revels in messing with people haha. Plus he uses his jovial nature to get on others' good side, but he's sincere when he means it. I'm positive that prior to all this he truly has taken an interest in Nogi and is going to treat him the same way, but with more subtly poking to figure out what's going on

I love Nozaki (and I truly believe that in light of the reveal this week, he found Nogi endearing, was maybe falling for him or just wanting him to be ok idk, and now has to suspect him and truly learn who he is) but now I'm genuinely worried we will lose someone in the main cast by the finale.

(I have become a Nozaki oshi.)

A theory that had been floated about on twitter by multiple viewers in the VIVANT theories tag actually came to be. Multiple people pointed out that when Nogi was waiting outside the Balka International Bank, he was holding what looked like Ali's phone and something else. At first some wondered if it was a portable charger, but were curious when the switch happened. That was all revealed this week and I can't believe how much theorists were on the point trying to figure out what happened.

Nozaki's true past being discovered was more than I expected though. Amnesia, being sucked into the grim world of human trafficking...is this how Nogi F (or B through E) was born?

Finally: I can't tell if Sam was bad or if the CIA was trying to get Ali as an intelligence asset, BUT NOOOO SAM!!!!! NOGI F HOW THE HELL COULD YOU?! I LIKED OUR LUPIN IIIrd FANBOY CIA AGENT.

(that said, this means he met Sam at the Rongaly Military School then?!)

Jamine being some sort of "miracle child"?! Is Sakurai, Nogi's handler? Who's the head of BEPPAN?!

Now we find out that the character with Nino is Nogi's dad?! That he survived?! Nino is some kind of adopted son?! Or did his wife survive and they had another child?! Ali said he didn't meet her, but had seen the photos...but...still

The amount of silent screaming I was doing during the "execution" scene was obscene. I don't think I could've handled another episode 4 type ending. (That said, I think both Nogi F and Kurosue were willing to go all the way and cut the wires if Ali hadn't cooperated)

And I can't be the only one who is having a hard time telling Nogi A from Nogi F. I feel during the "executions", the apology was delivered by Nogi A. I think that in intense moments like the "executions" they both flip between each other, or even that the true Nogi is the one present. Not one or the other.

Nozaki slowly closing in on the TENT-BEPPAN stuff is wonderful to watch. The fact that Nogi Suguru was an officer with the National Police (and not the Prefectural Police) was surprising. Why did he quit? Why go to Balka? Nozaki being with a federal agency will easily be able to access this information now. What he does with the info he does learn will be interesting because at the moment, with the information viewers have from episode 5, it's that Nogi's father left the NPA(?), went to Balka with his wife and son, something happened, his son was kidnapped and trafficked, he changed his name and somehow he created a terrorist group based in Central Asia using his family's crest as its own symbol? I'm curious how the NPA officer-to-mystery-organization-leader thing happened.

(help this wink after he says "We're Public Security.". helppp!!)

Masato Sakai is a wonderfully talented actor. Episode 5 was an absolute treat of his talents. (Can he get more menacing roles in the future???)

I'm also noticing NogI F's actions and interrogation methods are reminding of an older Masato Sakai drama from 2010 where he led a "double life" (it's nothing like this level) called JOKER: Yurusarezaru Sousakan. In it, by day he's a law-abiding officer of the law and at night he's a bit of a vigilante ala "You have failed this city". There's more to it, but that's all I remember. I couldn't help but feel that as a much more mature actor, Sakai dipped into that a bit.

Speaking of Nogi F, while I understand that what we know of BEPPAN's mission is apparently for the sake of saving the country from a potential attack, it's currently at the "Cool motive, still murder" stage and deeply morally grey. I'd like to know how he came to be paired with Kurosue and if he knows about Nogi F.

Which, from what the lady at the orphanage mentioned, it sounds like Nogi F (or B, C, D or E) have been around since he was a small child....

Anyway. I'm watching Episode 6 after dinner or shortly. Idk. T_T)

[pearlore]

david attenborough voice. The L D Shadowlady

[babybison]

Don't move.

[clairedaring]

MY STAND-IN (2024) | 1.02

[secriden]

This line. God, this line! It has been eating me up inside for 2 days now, because let's not forget, this line isn't about love, it's about trust. And that has implications that make me want to scream.

It's a direct reference to this moment earlier in the episode:

At the start of this discussion, Style and Fadel still have a kind of playful air about their conversation:

Style: Oh? Not even me? Fadel: You're at 80% at best. I feel like you're hiding something from me in the 20%.

In this exchange, though, there's a sense that Fadel is issuing a challenge, like there's something specific which Style can do to gain Fadel's full trust. And while Style knows there are things he cannot (yet) reveal to Fadel, I think a part of him is determined to be as honest as he can be, which is why he issues a challenge of his own by asking for more specificity:

Style: What do I have to do to gain your complete trust?

Part of this question is a simultaneously inquisitive and deflective - What (and why) do you think I'm hiding (something) from you? - but there's also a moment after Style finishes speaking where he stills and goes quiet that feels... genuine, weighty. Or, as @airenyah has pointed out in her meta on Style in episode 4, the "grounded[ness]" in Style's demeanour is a signal that Style means what he's saying in the moment. Maybe about his own desire to be worthy of Fadel's trust, maybe about how he genuinely does want this relationship to be real in whatever way that matters to Fadel.

I think Fadel sensed that too, because the moment looses all the lightheartedness it had before. Fadel pauses, and then gets a look on his face that just... breaks my heart. There's a sombreness there, like he knows he's going to have to say something that makes him sad. Fadel looks away, and then down, before he seems to steel himself and says:

Fadel: It'll never happen. No matter how much you love someone, I just don't believe that you can completely lay yourself bare in front of them.

Fadel says this like it's fact. Like what he's expressing is something foundational and true and irrefutable. It's not even about his doubt in Style's honesty, because this statement has no qualifiers or conditions put on it to connect it to Style. Rather this is what Fadel fundamentally believes about relationships and trust: he finds the very concept of being fully known and still accepted an impossibility.

Sure, maybe this is because of the falling out (or betrayal or disappearance) associated with the former lover; but I also think it might be because Fadel is acutely aware not only that he's hiding a rather big and dark secret (not to mince words, but: actual literal premeditated murder), but also about what it implies about Fadel. Because being able to kill another human, coldly and clinically and without remorse, takes a certain type of person. Because, yes, Fadel has lived through an absolutely harrowing and traumatising event (his parents' murder), but it's also undeniable that it changed him. Because there's something about Fadel that twisted dark and which he never quite got back. There's an anger, a hurt that colours every moment of his life; that enables him to look a man in the eyes, smile politely, and pull a trigger.

And at this point in their relationship, Fadel's understanding of Style is that he's... well, kind of innocent. Especially in comparison to Fadel and Bison, and even Kant.

Style, who easily reveals facts about his life which Fadel already knows (winning a car tuning competition), making Fadel doubt his own instincts about Style hiding secrets. Style, who also reveals the things Fadel doesn't know, like the tender and secret pain of a mother lost to cancer (which, now that I think about it, Fadel may also know) and his worries about a father who "lost his bearings for a bit" (which he probably doesn't). Style, who tries to comfort Fadel in his own loss by offering a safe space and a sympathetic ear.

Style, who doesn't just see Fadel for his tragedy, but is asking to be given the chance to accept all of Fadel as a person. Style, who not only wants but has the capacity, to be the only person Fadel needs to rely on. Style who, despite the sea of differences between them, understands Fadel on a level that is so very foundational.

I'm going to slightly segue and mention something that may not resonate with everyone, but really hit me in the gut this episode: because I lost my father when I was 16 after he battled cancer for 2 painful years. And this revelation about Style has totally shifted and coloured everything Style has done in a new light for me. Because not only does this totally explain Style's sometimes almost stubbornly childish demeanour (it's common in adults who've had to 'grow up' too early), but also why Style shows seemingly random flashes of insight and maturity when they are most crucial. Notably, Style has this almost instinctive sense of when he needs to back off a sore point with Fadel that I couldn't quite put my finger on until this episode.

I've seen a few jokes about Style's awkward subject change, but I've actually got a friend who I hold very dear to my heart who was one of the only people to give me a sense of normalcy and comfort when my dad was on his last few days and then at his funeral. And part of that was the instinctive way she would know when I needed to just. Not be a grieving daughter for a few minutes. To get a small respite from the overwhelming hopelessness and sense of impending loss. To get a moment to breathe and gather my strength, because knowing I was never going to see my dad again, or hear his voice, or hold his hand was tearing me apart back then. Sometimes she'd talk to me about college drama, sometimes she'd introduce a new kpop video to me, sometimes she'd just ask me what I wanted to eat and take me to go have a meal with her. And sometimes there really just isn't anything else to say other than "I'm sorry." Nothing you say - nothing you can say - is going to ever, ever make this grief go away, and in most cases, it was better when people (especially those who couldn't really understand) didn't try.

And I think if you look at Fadel very closely, there's a moment of genuine surprise (Fadel wasn't expecting the subject change at all) and then... something that looks like fondness mixed with exhausted relief. Because I don't think Fadel was ready to talk about his parents yet. This was honesty he wasn't ready to give Style, mostly prompted because Style himself had willingly been so vulnerable that a part of Fadel wanted to reciprocate. But further down that path lies not only his darkest memories, but also the connection to the part of his life he is not willing to share with Style yet. So this subject change is a relief, it's a blessing, but it's also Style knowing when he shouldn't push any further with Fadel's fragile heart.

Which brings me back to how well the episode's theme of trust (both deserved and undeserved) was woven in this episode. This is true on multiple levels and characters but I'm not even going to attempt to touch Kant in this post because... Lord, that is beyond me at the moment. Someone else needs to do that, pretty please, so I can reblog it and scream.

It starts, somewhat unexpectedly, with Fadel asking for entrance into the intimate spaces of Style's life.

So, this episode was not about Fadel's fear of his own feelings, desires, or even affection for Style - that appears to be fully addressed in episode 4. I think that's why we see Fadel be so physically affectionate and indulgent of Style in this episode. He's come to terms with his lust for Style's body (hence his comfort in initiating sex), he's accepted Style as his boyfriend and so can enjoy Style's playful teasing (still reluctantly, but Fadel is still an introvert even if he's mostly enjoying Style's rambunctious nature), and give into Style's (and Bison's and Kant's) cajoling with relatively little fuss.

He's even comfortable toying with the edges of revealing his darker and more sinister side by reminding Style implicitly about how violent Fadel has the potential to be. Recall that Fadel knows Style knows some of his capacity for violence; he just doesn't know how very thoroughly Style is aware of the full scale of this truth. It does help that Style evidences no actual fear and, in fact, looks positively euphoric. Like, buddy, pal, dearest one... please control yourself.

And yet something very, very telling is the way the show makes it a point to depict Fadel very deliberately getting drunk during the double date. Even before the date has started, Fadel looks to be about half a beer in and we see him constantly drinking, drinking, drinking during the whole date. From the conversation about trust he has with Style while Kant and Bison are being off key and adorable about it, to after Kant leaves and Bison gets worried. And we've seen Fadel cope with emotional and mental distress with alcohol before, so we know that Fadel is internally fighting some kind of very intense battle even as he is also very clearly enjoying moments with Style on this date (most notably when they're dancing by the bowling lanes and when Style asks him to go home with him).

So here's my take: rather than being about love, this is about Fadel fighting to hold onto his own philosophy on relationships and trust. Because as much as I do believe Fadel believes he's telling the truth when he tells Style that 100% trust is "impossible", I think it's clear that's not what he wants.

What he wants is to finish this last job so that the only thing he can't be honest about with Style will finally stop being a factor in his life. What he wants is to fully and completely reciprocate the openness Style seems to be giving Fadel. What he wants is to switch off his brain and let his heart lead for once, to stop fighting a battle he has no desire to win anymore, only he can't. Trust (not love) is Fadel's final frontier, and one which he can't quite give up in spite of himself.

Which is why I think Fadel intentionally gets himself drunk here. Because he wants to let his guard down around Style. He wants to open himself fully, he wants to "lay himself bare" for Style, he wants Style to know the full truth and accept him anyway - and he gets so close, but can't quite get there - because he doesn't know that Style already has.

When Style says this, Fadel thinks it's empty words, not knowing that Style has long passed the bar Fadel thinks is insurmountable. And just like Style was able to offer safety and reassurance to the vulnerability Fadel was showing in episode 4, Style instinctively gets to the core of Fadel's darkest fears again:

Style: One day, I'll be your 100%.

This isn't (just) a promise that Style will wear Fadel's stubbornness down, or that Style will be worthy of Fadel's 100% (which, already, has me in tears, ngl). Beyond that, this is Style promising Fadel isn't ruined for this; that it isn't too late, that whatever hurts and wounds Fadel has can be made whole again. That the kind of honest and all-encompassing and unconditional trust which Fadel says is impossible can, in fact, be his. That Fadel still has the capacity to trust and be trusted the way he so desperately, painfully longs for.

I know a lot of people have said Style in this episode is writing cheques he has no ability to honour, but I think it's more layered than that. Because in a very significant and profound way, Style is wholly deserving of Fadel's trust. Because in all the ways that Fadel has ever known he should want, Style actually IS worthy of his trust. Style knows the truth Fadel is hiding, knows what this man is capable of, knows the danger of being in his arms, knows the likely nonexistent future Fadel has to offer him -- and wants him anyway. Style is a man who would stare into Fadel’s darkness and reach out first. Strip away the complication of Kant being blackmailed and dragging Style into his mission, and Style is literally perfect for Fadel. He is exactly what Fadel wants (and possibly has wanted for a very long time). He is, in fact, exactly what Fadel needs to ever experience anything beyond the shadow of a life he's had so far.

But oh, the cruel narrative means that Style is also, simultaneously, painfully undeserving of Fadel's trust; and this is something Style is very much aware of. I think that's why he's trying so very hard to be worthy in all the other ways he can be. Style's awareness of what Fadel is hiding enables Style to (counterintuitively) be completely honest about his feelings for and about Fadel even as he cannot reveal his motivations. So he gives Fadel as much honesty as he can: offers the vulnerability of his own pain and hurts; the comfort of his true understanding and acceptance.

And just as Fadel's vulnerability in the abandoned factory was met with Style choosing a form of physical connection that prioritised Fadel's pleasure (it's made very clear that Style is jerking Fadel off and that all his focus in that moment was on Fadel, not his own pleasure), so too is this moment met with Style very intentionally choosing to worship Fadel's body with all the tenderness and genuine emotional weight that Style wanted Fadel to have in their first time in the storeroom.

Because, crucially, this was Style giving Fadel the chance to lay himself at least physically bare. This is the closest either of them can get to full honesty with the secrets they both are keeping. It's why Style tries so very hard to show the care and adoration and genuine feelings he has for Fadel. Why he makes sure that the vulnerability of Fadel getting himself as drunk and as relaxed and as trusting as Fadel can allow himself to be is tied only to gentleness and tenderness and pleasure.

Because Style actually knows that Fadel can't (and shouldn't) trust him in the way Fadel truly wishes to.

And as much as I believe that Style genuinely means this from the bottom of his heart, the horrifying full truth is that it is Style that has the metaphorical knife hovering over Fadel's chest. He is the one with the capacity to actually give Fadel a new scar that would truly matter. He is, in fact, the only one Fadel wants to fully trust -- and this, along with Style's compromised heart, makes it so that the circumstances will doom them both.

[hotasfahrenheit]

this kiss was stupendous

and not just because it looked great, which it did obviously but-

-it's the pause in the first gif, the look in the second gif, it's the way that God glances up at Diew's eyes to gauge if this is okay, if Diew is comfortable, if Diew is enjoying the kiss and the physical contact, it's the way he leaves space in between the kisses and leans back just a tiny bit in the third gif to make sure that Diew is actively choosing to continue kissing him

it makes this scene just so good

[vomittedsoap]

I’d love to see the sound-editing process of The Terror. Some guy standing over the shoulder of another guy on Adobe Audition like “hmm… yes.. add another loud ‘boat creaking’ sound here just so you can remember that they are, indeed, on a boat… also add a comically loud zipper sound effect when Crozier buttons up his pants after pissing while Jopson is in the room…. Yes and don’t forget to add the Wilhelm Scream in the final battle with Tuunbaq.”

[gunsatthaphan]

no thoughts head empty 💭

[marinaiguess]

This is Sonic. 

Daniel Barnes, im on my knees for this, thank you. 

[kulai]

DAY 2 - 4: blood, werewolf, rave'n all-in-one :PP

this time not inspired by any fanfic, just a silly comic by me

[lightsresonance]

I just watched both parkour civilization movies and I have so many thoughts about block game

Parkour civilization was restructured so that everyone begins at the bottom layer and makes their way to the top. The other main changes are that the route to the top is neither impossible nor barricaded by design. Failing a jump isn’t an instant ticket to perma death. There’s a universal safety net for so players can keep trying. 

But providing actual ways for the lower levels to advance, does not change the fact THAT THERE WAS A LOWER LEVEL WITH UNACCEPTABLE QUALITY OF LIFE IN THE FIRST PLACE WHAT OTHER CHANGES WERE MADE TO THE BOTTOM??? Are the noobs still kept on the verge of starvation?? Is food now free or do you still jump to eat?? Who farms food now that the pros don’t have to work?? Blocks are free for masters what about noobs & pros? And even if anyone at the base layer can make open attempts at the climb, are they provided the practice arenas of the higher levels??

Evbo’s ‘equal opportunity advancement’ solution also doesn’t address the other glaring problem of why parkour civilization was inherently flawed. Some people just suck at parkour! It’s simply not for them and their talents lie in other directions. But being a promising singer, builder, fighter, redstone engineer, or writer doesn’t matter because parkour is the ONLY valuable skill. You don’t like to jump but there’s only one route up. You could be at the bottom forever because your passion is worthless in Parkour Civilization. 

Evbo fails to dismantle anything besides the most obvious, corrupt flaws of the system because at the end of the day, he still successfully climbed said system! (With some cheating & help to bypass the locks ofc). So his idea of fairness is having everyone else climb too. But providing people access to his way up doesn’t change the fact they have only 1 way to climb. And that they have to climb in the first place.

See, the other thing that haunts me is the implanted memories. Evbo KNOWS there’s a lifestyle outside of parkour 24/7. Evbo remembers endless land, buildings, crafting, and mining. Resources gatekept by parkour once used to be open to obtain by anyone. Sure, the memories are fake but the dream didn’t have to be. He was champion then god. Evbo knows about the endless ground but didn’t consider making that idea a reality even with endless power at his fingertips. Because he’s so entrenched in this society. 

His dream was seeing endless skies and once he got there, he failed to share it with anyone else.

The sky used to be free.

TLDR Shonen protag works within in system they’re given and when system shows its flaws of corruption the narrative solution is to power up, beat up the big villains, and become the most op kid on the block instead of actually addressing societal flaws that accommodates and creates said villains

In this fanfic I will-

[pigglepiephi]

The HANDS!

I can’t stop thinking about the hands!

The way Ryan gripped his shirt to give himself the courage and resolve to say this…

And then the way Jane gripped the table to steady himself or stop himself from reacting/reaching out/doing something he shouldn’t do!

The focus on the hands conveyed so much!

Just perfect !!!

[babybison]

Mahasamut chose to come all this way with you. Now it's your turn to choose.

[percabethconvos]

Percy: Every night I dreamed at the Wolf House I dreamed about you.

Percy: Every night.

Percy: When I dreamed about camp, you were there, reading a book, working on one of your projects, but always there with me.

Percy: And I knew that everything was just the way it should be, do you understand?

[tenowls]

if i could draw dragons i would put temeraire in the background

[clairedaring]

I have always believed that everyone has the right to their own life, the right to their own body. Everyone has the right to choose whether to live or to end their life peacefully and with dignity. But this law of yours that you stand by... It has denied everyone of their inherent right.

SPARE ME YOUR MERCY | 1.08