#this is also why I have my dms closed
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dark-nymph3t · 1 year ago
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I swear if one more man who is decades older than me follows me one more time I’m gonna lose it
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pocketramblr · 8 months ago
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It's all my fault
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cowboy-robooty · 4 months ago
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not going to name names bc thats messed up but omfg i was tryna find records of old heta fandom shit to show inu right and i found a hetalia iceberg and I SAW MY 2019 OPP ON THERE. IT WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY LIKE MY EYES BULGED OUT OF MY SKULL BECAUSE IM NOT EVEN JOKING I HATED THIS BITCH SO MUCH WHEN I WAS 14 AND NGL I STILL HATE HER. I DIDNT SAY NOTHING AND KEPT CURTIOUS AND NORMAL OBVIOUSLY BUT ON THE INSIDE I WANTED HER ASS DEAD EVERYDAY AND WELL... you all know im never in the loop with things and had no fucking clue that she was just the antichrist for an entire group of people lol. SHE WAS MY ANTICHRIST THO. I HATED HER AND SHE HATED ME OKAY AND IM LIKE RODF SEEING HOW SHES ON THE FUCKING HETALIA ICEBERG I WAS LIKE OMG.... I THOUGHT ONLY I FUCKING DESPISED HER
#i hated her to an unhealthy amount imma be so real#bc ive never done an internet sin of like shittalking outside of priv accs/dms#or interacting anonymously with people i hate etc etc#but there are things that are like corruptions for your own soul from how sour hatred can get#and she did that to me. and i only hated her enough to do that#i have only ever in my life actively hatestalked her blog when i was 14 bc she made me so fucking mad everyday#ive only ever in my life hatestalked her like shes the only reason i can comprehend why people are compelled to hatestalk#this was all back when i was like 14 tho lol and#ugh... im sorry. as you can tell the hatred i feel towards her is like soul corrupting level#i want to say im sure she has grown up to be a fine person and logically i know this is true#but also part of me is like there is no fucking way this bitch grew up to be a fine person like the lobotomy part of my brain is saying that#i will not tell you who she is btw so dont send me an ask begging for the user#and if for some reason you have a hunch who it is. you never know you could be wrong and even if youre not i dont condone harassment towards#her or like yknow just any association like leave her tf alone#i dont have fans who love me enough or are crazy parasocial to harass someone i personally hate/hated#but still just in case#shes not an actual bad person. i just hate her so much that it makes ME a bad person on the inside#its why im so glad that i turned 15 and went i need to stop looking at her forever or else i will reincarnate as a mosquito#ill only talk to u abt her if we are at least acquatiances with eachother#and i dont think anybody will be able to figure out who she is actually bc i never once was mean to her outside of telling my close friends#i wanted her dead. me when i dont act like a beast online despite the vietnamese devil inside me
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calamity-unlocked · 1 year ago
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To get rid of the Doodler, they needed to be radical. Code Purple was that radical plan, and it had worked. For a while. It just needed to work again. Which it would. Lark was convinced that it would. You’re either with us or against us, Nicky. Welp. Guess that by that infallible logic, I’m against you. Sorry, guys. Lark was sorry, too. But feeling sorry had never been too big of an issue for him.
Or: Lark and Nick spend one last night together before shit hits the fan.
Dungeons and Daddies - Nark - Rated T for Teen - 5.2k words
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amanitacurses · 5 months ago
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I'm not currently taking requests for those asking, thank you for your interest though
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vaguely-annoyed · 7 months ago
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coping badly to fantasy flirting is smth i'm very proficient at
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years ago
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Same same same I was literally thinking of what RGG characters' zOMG! loadouts might look like earlier today help😭But I too was playing zOMG! on a horrid PC with a horrid connection... had to zoom out so far to get some slightly better performance from Flash that chat was nearly unusable...
I'm not totally sure I ever got to play the endgame areas like SS and DMS (definitely didn't get to finish DMS, it was just me and the besties + it's a reeeally long run), but those were some wonderful memories! My blorbo apparently lives in Deadman's Pass and it was a lot of fun crawling every inch of the map and coming up with headcanons and stuff. Sawmill was unusually un-performant though for sure, for how small the area is.
My friend group and I dropped it on account of the NFT investments and general downward trend, but sometimes... sometimes it calls to me...
my whole in-and-out bit with gaia is that sometimes i'd just feel too awkward to try and actually talk to anyone in the towns, so i'd just leave the site alone for a while until i felt brave enough to open it back up or i just really wanted to play zOMG (legit it had no business being as fun as it was)
i checked the creation date of my account and my sis actually made it when i was 8 ☠️☠️ but on that note i remember she wanted me to make an account so we could play zOMG together specifically but honestly i can only remember us playing a handful of times before we just played on our own
#snap chats#MEANT TO REPLY SOONER BUT I WAS FUCKIN AROUND WITH MY AVI LMAO#i had so much stuff i didnt even realize i had... also the capsule rewards are a lot Better ???#i remember you used to get like. bland clothes or like a spool of thread but now you get actual neat shit#but oh my god no i remember in deadmans pass (the base game was DMP the new one was DMS OOPSIE)#i would just hang out in that little cemetary bit and be emo as shit 😭😭☠️☠️#AND I REMEMBER I WAS SUPER OBSESSED WITH THE 'I Am' ITEMS#SO I WAS JUST SITTING THERE AS THIS LITTLE CAT WITH THE SCARF LIKE BRO WHY WERE YOU SO MOODY YOU WERE 8#god bring zOMG back let me be moody there now that i have actual things to be moody about#the shallow sea was such a good map but it was also long as fuck- it was undoubtedly the longest one#i dont think i ever even actually beat it ? like THATS how long and hard it was#i mightve come close with a group once but man that was so long ago idk#ok but help rgg charas + gaia like#like PLEASE i joke bout daigo making haruka a gaia account solely because of MY childhood 😭😭☠️☠️☠️#UGH...nostalgia you asshole... im lying gaia was fun back then and if flash was still around it'd still be fun to me now#like thats the real kick in the dick if 90% of the playerbase was gone but the worlds were still there#then i could at least hit up friends and we could just muck about there but naw... its ALL gone.....#i remember walking around the towns at least one more time back innnn 2020?? right before flash shut down??#it was all barren as hell but it was a fun lil trip while it lasted#GOD. yeah i love gaia... biggest surprise to find you also played it but i wont complain ty for chattin bout it with me..#i always feel insane when i remember gaia cause it feels like no one ever knows what im talking about LMAO
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shanedoesdoodles · 2 months ago
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I have made some financial decisions that while I can't morally call them bad they have left me with zero dollars in my bank account for the past two day and I don't get my next check for five days :'o)
(This isn't a post asking for money do not give me that it's just a small vent)
#Multiple vetted Palestinian fund raising blogs have started to messaged me directly for funds after I reblog them and#One thing that I don't often mention is i can get really panicked when#someone who I'm not very very close friends with messages me or calls me (not sure exactly why? Might be related to growing paranoia)#Anyways I wasn't sure how to respond since I only had fourty in my bank account and didn't want to just leave the person hanging#But then my brain went “You know what. We just paid for gas for the week we can probably spare a good 20$”#And so I did and then made a post with the messages and the fundraiser attached to try to get it out to more people#And then another account messaged me a lot more urgently and panicked needing 50$ for an upcoming important surgery#They were also vetted and I panicked and decided to send them my last 20#They were a little bit pushy afterwards for more but. again. that's all that was there in my bank#Now two more have massaged me and the surgery one has messaged me again in the past two days and I'm not sure what to say to them#I only get 200 dollars every two weeks and I gotta portion that out between saving up for my upcoming second college tuition payment#(I'm nowhere Near that amount at the moment and it's all out of pocket)#Paying for gas and helping pitch in for food for my family#I'm not sure I can continue paying more than two fundraisers a month but I also feel awful and don't know what to say to the ones still#Waiting in my messages#I might have to try to find a way to turn dms off if it keeps making me not make the best financial decisions but again#I don't want to leave those other fundraising accounts with no answer!! And I don't also wasn't to give them an answer and have it be no!!!
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homosexualcitron · 6 months ago
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my problem is that every time i have anything in my inbox i'm persuaded it's someone telling me to kms and then it's someone who just like my art
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transgaysex · 10 months ago
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cannot sleep bc i am filled with a deep deep sadness
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queer-here-and-in-fear · 1 year ago
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ok this is insane but like.. the new tumblrinas are more acclimated to the culture than some normal users. i mean it. like every single reddit refugee post has an INSANELY CLOSE like to reblog ratio and there all mutualing each other and sending each other asks and dms. like wtf. how are you better at this.
in all seriousness i think its because we welcomed them with such feral delight. like every single tumblr user individually saw the reddit refugees and were like "ok listen. we love you honey and hope you're feeling good and here are the instructions" and they did SO MUCH MORE THAN WE THOUGHT THEY WOULD!!! AND NOW ALL OF THEM ARE LIKE HAVING SO MUCH FUN AND IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM!!!!
and also not to keep going but i adore how everyone is so so emotional about this. like every single reddit refugee is like "oh my god why are you so nicee i havent felt this happy in years holy fuckkk..." and were all like "its ok!!! im so glad you are having fun you are doing such a good job yknow? youre perfect at this!!" anyways if YOURE a reddit refugee lets be mutuals
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kuiinncedes · 1 year ago
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bfskflkdsjf
#why do i make such a big deal out of everything in my head#i feel like every once in a while i just come on and make a post like this LOL#but like why does it feel so big and bad and then i just gotta talk abt it for a sec but like#bro it all stems from idk what my relationship w this person on board is#i don't think she dislikes me and i like her but we're not close at all and i just kinda like don't know where i stand#i just like did technically her task for her bc she has two exams today and i feel bad that i like kinda overstepped#but i'm sure she's probably fine w it#but also idk bc i dont know her that well lol#but like it's rly not that big of a dealllllllll 😭😭😭#also bc i feel kinda awkward around her for no good reason just bc we never rly bonded dkjnfbdhsfkgjhdff#but i dont have her number so i can only dm her over discord and i dont think she checks that often#so anoter person on board who i was talking to abt stuff was like i'll just text her#and then like it's a whole thing when there's indirect communication coming one way and other direct communication the other way#and it just felt awkward bc she said one thing to the other person and then saw my message being like sorry jk im jus gonna do it#bc time sensitive 😭 and ik u have exams to worry abt and she told other person she would do it in a bit#but before that to both of them i was just like i'll just do it so we have it sooner rather than later but they didnt see that until after#and it literallyyyyyy DOESN'T MATTERRRRRRRRR but i hate that and it makes me feel bad lmfao#i just need to chill 💀#i'm happy i didn't have my lecture/lab section today bc i haven't done anything in that time#and i can say that it's fine bc i usually wouldn't have done anything in this time LMFAO#i just wish i was better friends w this person so i don't overthink every interaction i have with her like why is that necessary @ brain#idk how to liek make that happen tho i feel like we're both similarly like#comfortable in friend group and then don't branch out that much#or like a little awkward w branching out#idk bro i also feel like their friend group seems like the cool kids in our club lol not in a bad way#but for some reason i'm kinda intimidated/awkward around them#ugh anwyay .... i need to like get over this w her and def the prev director who i would also say is big in that firend group#bc i feel so awkward talkign to them and asking them things but they're probably the ppl i need to talk to the most#but my own fucking awkwardness is stopping me and i just need to shut up to myself lmao#anyway fucking that's over i need to go write 1000 words :DDD
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linc-karo-27 · 1 year ago
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The more I hear about that set the more I assume it was a melting pot of stress and tempers and arguments. And ngl it doesn't surprise me. This is what I was wondering.
Do I condone what I feel th**trebo*rd thread suggested (without evidence of any kind not even mild context which is needed when this is not a common view of someone even from DM) of someone being nasty and short with crew?
No
Not at all - that isn't adult behaviour. You're better than this. This is not acceptable at all. Especially from someone who's usually "drama free".
Do I genuinely wonder if this was caused by set and/or was a result of winding up?
Yes.
Yes I do. If I spent 12-16 hours a day in what seemed to be a melting pot of mess and stuff and wound up enough someone did something trivial, I'd snap at them.
But until evidence is coming out of what happened (bar the one line of "X is equally as a diva as Y") I'm saying from the context it was a one off/happened now and then from the person not always being there. aka. it kicked off a lot but wasn't constant and it was just a coincidence it was a lot while there were there.
But yeah. The amount of mess so far that press tour is gonna be bribe central.
edit: I THINK *THAT* ATTITUDE ARTICLE IN 2018 (MAYBE 2019) WAS THE ANSWER - WATCH IT BE HIS WEIRD "RITUALS" BECAUSE HE WAS JUST VERY STRESSED THERE BECAUSE IT WAS A PRESSURE COOKER.
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fading-event-608 · 2 months ago
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A fig tree for pixel dailies.
"Figs are planted in most Palestinian cities. However, it is most common in two districts, Nablus — especially in the village of Tell — and Ramallah — namely in Silwad, which became known as Im-Qutteen (mother of dried figs). Other villages also have names relating to the fig, such as Teeneh (fig). There are also flat areas called masateeh referring to the places where figs are dried to produce qutteen.
The fig has long been linked to Palestinian cultural heritage because it is nutritious and filling, and thus a staple of the Palestinian diet. It was known in Palestine as far back as the Canaanites. Palestinians have their own terms for the fig: while it is forming, the fruit is taqsh, then faj and then ‘ajr. Other used terms are nafal and thbeel.
Old traditional sayings reflect the importance of figs in Palestine. For example: ‘I tasted the first fruit, I hope my life has a long route’; ‘Eat the figs from the early season and the grapes from the late season’;* and ‘If we have qutteen (dried figs), we are safe from hunger.'"
-from The Palestinian Museum which took that info from 'A Garden Among the Hills: The Floral Heritage of Palestine'
Trees, would it be olive trees (which I also have a drawing of) or fig ones are important in Palestine. Just like in other countries, they provide shade, fresh air and produce. But in Palestine, they are also a symbol of resistance - as long as family's tree is growing, they are growing too; as long as the tree is alive, they are alive too.
When Israeli occupiers takes Palestinian's homes that they've built over multiple generations, they take their trees that they groomed too. When IOF drops bombs on civilians, they take trees with them. They uproot the trees, they burn them - because those trees remind them of people they've killed and whose land they have taken.
It seems like the world is slowly growing numb to cries for help; it seems like people are closing their eyes and covering their ears to not see the Palestinian blood on their screens, to not hear them scream. And Israel sees that and continues it's aggression on Lebanon. After all, if they can get away with a year (76 years) of genocide, why not start another one?
Please take any action you can. Protest, boycott, keep your eyes on Palestine and please, please, please donate to Palestinian fundraisers. I have spotlighted one fundraiser, for Falastin's family evacuation funds from Gaza that she organized in late June - it is still very far away from it's goal.
There are 24 family members that depend on that fundraiser. They need not only evacuation funds but also money to buy basic necessities like food and medicine that are very expensive in Gaza right now. Recently Falastin started hearing them talk about waiting for their fate because the funds this campaign gets daily are not enough to ease their suffering and cover evacuation.
Please, do not let it happen. Please, donate and check conversion rates before you do as:
10$ = 103 SEK
25$ = 257 SEK
50$ = 515 SEK
100$ = 1,030 SEK
I've talked about this fundraiser before numerous times, a lot of info can be found on this post [here] or [here].
Vetting info: #282 in El-Shab-Hussein and Nabulsi's spreadsheet [here], #957 in the Butterfly Project spreadsheet [here]
I do semi-regular art updates (last one [here]) and accept commissions for proof of donations, please dm me for info as my art blog was terminated recenty.
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rootedinrevisions · 2 months ago
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Kinktober 2024: Day 9
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SUMMARY: Jake Seresin has been trying to take you home from The Hard Deck for a while. However, there's always been something holding you back. A secret that you can't stand the thought of revealing to him. But when he finally gets you to tell him your secret, his reaction is anything but what you expect. And he lets down the "Hangman" persona you've come to know and you see the softer side of Jake.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I don't know why but I just feel like Jake would be super soft and sweet with you if it was your first time. Sure he's experienced, but he's going to make sure that it's all about you and making you feel good.
PROMPT: "Do you want to take it off or should I do it for you?"
KINK: First Time
WARNINGS: 18+ SMUT. (Simple P in V.)
WORD COUNT: 6.6k
TAG LIST: TAG LIST: @omgbrianabomgbrianab I @shanimallina87 I @fanficmom94 I @smoothdogsgirl I @djs8891 I @saucy-sassy-sparkly  I  @alipap3  I  @dudinhastuff  I  @lunatygerqueen  I  @hookslove1592  I  @glenpowellluver  I  @missmarveledsblog
If you would like to be added to any of my Tag Lists please feel free to comment, send an ask, or send a DM and I'll be happy to get you added! (I currently have one for Glen Powell & His Characters, One for Bradley/Rooster now, and then a third for WWE/Wrestling. I also can create one for Bucky & other MCU characters if there's interest for more of those characters!)
The Hard Deck was quieter than usual, the lively chatter and music of the jukebox fading as the night went on. Most of the regulars had already left as it was ten minutes to closing time. Penny had just waved her goodbyes, her voice playful as she teased Jake, telling him not to give you any trouble. You smiled at her back as she disappeared out the door, then went back to cleaning up behind the bar.
Jake leaned against it, watching you with that familiar, teasing glint in his green eyes. You were used to the way his gaze followed you, but tonight it felt heavier somehow—more focused. Maybe because there weren’t any distractions or anyone else vying for his attention now that closing time was here.
"You never stop, do you?" His voice was low, amused, cutting through the quiet.
You rolled your eyes, wiping down the bar one last time, trying to ignore the way Jake’s eyes followed you. You looked up from wiping down the counter. 
"Someone's gotta clean up after you guys," you shot back with a smirk.
Jake chuckled, shaking his head. "Yeah, but you know I don’t think that’s the only reason you stay late."
You felt the familiar warmth bloom in your chest, the kind that always came when he said things like that. His charm was effortless, but you’d spent months brushing it off. Well, most of the time. Lately, you weren’t so good at it. Because despite the cocky persona, you were starting to see something more beneath it—something softer, more genuine. And that scared you.
Because even though you liked him—maybe more than you cared to admit—there was one thing you hadn’t been able to bring yourself to tell him.
You shot him a look, half playful, half warning, as you tossed the towel onto the counter. "I mean this is my job and I have to stay until closing no matter what. But…humor moe. What’s that supposed to mean?"
He leaned forward on his elbows, his grin widening. "Just that we both know you don’t mind me hanging around."
Your heart fluttered despite yourself, but you forced a smirk. "You always got a line ready, huh?"
"I don’t need lines with you, sweetheart. I think you know that."
You let out a breath and shook your head, feeling your heart race. "You should get going, Seresin. Penny might’ve been joking, but I’m not in the mood to deal with you tonight."
Jake smirked, but there was a gentleness in his gaze. "Or you could stop pushing me away, darlin'. It's been months, and I think we both know this little game of yours is starting to wear thin." His words were soft, but there was no mistaking the desire behind them.
Before you could respond, Jake walked around the bar. You felt your pulse quicken as he crossed the threshold, coming into your space—so close you could feel the heat radiating off him. He didn’t touch you right away, just stood there, eyes tracing your face as if memorizing every detail.
"Jake," you breathed, trying to keep your voice steady, but it came out softer than you intended.
He was standing so close now that you had to tilt your head back slightly to look up at him. His eyes, those piercing green eyes, locked onto yours, and you felt the tension building, thickening the air between you.
He leaned down, his face inches from yours. "Tell me to stop, and I will," he murmured, his voice soft but laced with desire.
You swallowed, heart racing, but you didn’t move away. Instead, you let the moment hang there, the pull between you undeniable. He took a step closer, his hand reaching out to brush a stray lock of hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering against your skin. The touch sent a shiver down your spine, and you sucked in a breath, torn between wanting to push him away and pull him closer.
"I should—" you started, but the words faltered as he stepped closer, his body now inches from yours.
"You should what?" Jake whispered, his breath warm against your skin as he leaned in, his lips ghosting over the shell of your ear. "Keep pushing me away? Or finally let me in?"
His hand slid down to your waist, his thumb grazing the bare skin where your shirt had ridden up slightly. It was such a small touch, but it sent heat flooding through you. You had been playing this game with him for months—keeping him at arm’s length, pretending his advances didn’t affect you. But here, now, in this quiet moment with the bar empty and the lights low, you could feel your resolve slipping.
Jake tilted your chin up, forcing you to look into his eyes. "Stop pretending you don’t feel this too."
And before you could second-guess yourself, before you could find another excuse to push him away, you surged forward, closing the distance between you. Your lips met his in a heated, desperate kiss, months of tension spilling over all at once.
Jake wasted no time, his arms wrapping around you as he pulled you flush against him. His lips were warm, demanding, and you matched his intensity, your hands tangling in his hair as you pressed closer, wanting more, needing more. It was as if all the weeks of flirting and teasing had built up to this moment, and now that the dam had broken, neither of you could hold back.
When you finally broke apart, breathless and flushed, Jake rested his forehead against yours, his voice rough. "Let me take you home tonight."
Your heart was racing as Jake’s words hung between you. Let me take you home tonight. His voice was thick with desire, and his forehead was still resting against yours, his breath warm on your skin.
But as the reality of what he was asking set in, a rush of nerves flooded through you. You pulled back slightly, creating space between your bodies. Jake immediately noticed the shift, his brows knitting together in confusion as you stepped away.
“Why do you keep pulling away from me?” he asked softly, his voice a mix of frustration and concern. 
His hand remained on your waist, though gentler now, as if he was afraid you’d slip away entirely.
You shook your head, trying to steady your breathing, but the words were stuck in your throat. 
He waited, watching you carefully, his expression softening as he searched your face for an answer.
“I don’t… I don’t do that,” you managed to say, your voice barely above a whisper.
Jake frowned, clearly misunderstanding. “What, a one-night stand?” His lips quirked into a small, almost disbelieving smile. “Darlin’, I’ve been chasing you for months. This isn’t just some one-time thing.”
The sincerity in his voice made your chest tighten. He wasn’t playing around, and you knew it. But that wasn’t what this was about. You looked away, biting your lip as you tried to find the courage to say what had been weighing on you all this time.
He tilted your chin up gently, forcing your eyes to meet his. “Talk to me,” he urged, his voice low but patient. “What’s going on?”
You swallowed hard, the vulnerability of the moment making you feel exposed in a way you hadn’t expected. The tension between you had always been playful, teasing, but this… this was different. This was real. And the fear of disappointing him was almost overwhelming.
“Jake…” You hesitated, the words thick on your tongue. “I’ve never been with anyone. In that way.”
The weight of your confession hung in the air, and for a moment, you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, afraid of how he might react. But when you finally dared to glance up, you saw something unexpected in his eyes.
There was no judgment. No disappointment. Just understanding.
His grip on your waist tightened slightly, grounding you as he took a step closer. “You mean you’re—?”
“A virgin,” you finished for him, your voice barely a whisper.
Jake exhaled softly, his expression unreadable for a moment as he processed what you’d said. Then, to your surprise, he let out a small, almost incredulous laugh—though it wasn’t mocking. It was more like he couldn’t believe the situation. “You thought that’d make me walk away?”
“I just thought…” You trailed off, unsure how to finish that sentence. The truth was, you didn’t know what you had expected. Maybe that he’d see you as some kind of challenge, or that he’d decide it wasn’t worth it. “You’re… you. And I know you’ve been with… other people.”
Jake’s smile softened as he shook his head, his thumb brushing against your cheek. “Yeah, I’ve been with other people. But none of them were you.”
His words made your heart skip a beat, and before you could respond, he leaned in, his lips brushing against your forehead in a tender, reassuring kiss. “You think I’ve been showing up at this bar every night just for fun? I’m not here for a fling. I’m here because I want you.”
You closed your eyes, letting his words wash over you. It was so easy to get caught up in your own insecurities, to assume that someone like Jake wouldn’t want you once he knew the truth. But he was still here, still holding you close, as if none of that mattered.
“I don’t want to push you into anything you’re not ready for,” Jake said softly, his hand sliding down to lace his fingers with yours. “But if you’ll let me… I’ll talk you through it. We’ll take it slow.”
The sincerity in his voice made your heart ache, and for the first time that night, the nervousness you’d been feeling started to ease. Jake wasn’t rushing you, wasn’t pressuring you. He was offering you a choice.
You looked up at him, meeting his gaze. “You’d do that?”
Jake’s smile widened, his green eyes softening. “Darlin’, I’d do anything for you.”
As you and Jake finished closing up the bar, the familiar clinking of glasses and the faint scent of spilled beer lingered in the air. You wiped down the last countertop while Jake stacked chairs, a comfortable silence enveloping the space. But the excitement and nerves bubbling inside you felt electric.
Once the last light was turned off and the door was locked, you stepped out into the cool night air, glancing over at Jake. He stood beside you, his hands shoved in his pockets, his casual demeanor making him seem effortlessly charming.
You turned to him, your stomach fluttering with a mix of anticipation and uncertainty. “So… what happens now?” You felt a bit awkward asking, the words tumbling out before you could second-guess yourself.
Jake’s smile was warm and genuine, lighting up his green eyes. “Well, we could go to my place or yours. Whatever you’re more comfortable with.”
His suggestion sent another thrill of excitement through you. “I think I’d feel better at your place,” you admitted, recalling the warmth and safety of the last time you were there. “My roommate is home.”
Jake nodded, a knowing look on his face. “That’s cool. I actually got a ride here, so if you don’t mind driving…?”
“Not at all,” you replied, leading the way to your car, your heart racing with the prospect of what the night might hold.
Once inside, you fished your phone out of your bag and shot a quick text to your roommate, letting her know you wouldn’t be home tonight. Just as you hit send, her response buzzed through, and you groaned at the barrage of messages that followed.
Your car’s Bluetooth connected automatically, and suddenly, your roommate’s messages began to read out loud in the car. 
“‘Where are you? Who are you with? Are you with the sexy blond pilot from Texas you’ve been talking about?’”
“Are you serious?” you muttered under your breath.
You rolled your eyes, your face flushing with embarrassment as Jake chuckled beside you. “So, am I the sexy blond pilot from Texas you’ve been talking about? Or is there someone else I should know about?”
“Yes, you are,” you admitted, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks. You couldn’t tell if you were flustered or exhilarated, the thrill of the moment mingling with your nervousness.
Jake grinned, a teasing glint in his eye. “I like that title. It has a nice ring to it.”
As you pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road, you couldn’t help but glance at him, trying to gauge his reaction. He was relaxed, leaning back against the seat, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “Don’t worry. I promise not to embarrass you too much in front of your roommate when I meet her.”
You glance over for a second. The “when I meet her” is not being lost on you. He was so confident that this was something more than it seemed like it was. That there would be more times he went home with you. That there would be a point where you introduce him to your friends.
“It’s kind of cute how you get all flustered.”
“Cute?” You couldn’t help but let out a laugh, though it was a little breathy. “Is that really the word you want to use right now?”
Jake shrugged, his smirk only growing wider. “What can I say? I’m a fan of cute.”
As you drove through the dimly lit streets, the tension in the car shifted to a more comfortable vibe. You found yourself stealing glances at him, his profile silhouetted against the glow of the dashboard lights, and every now and then, your eyes would meet.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked, his gaze steady on you, the question sincere.
“Just… this feels surreal,” you admitted, biting your lip. “I didn’t think I’d ever actually go home with someone, especially not someone like you.”
“Someone like me?” he echoed, pretending to be hurt. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You know, charming, flirtatious, with a history of one-night stands,” you teased, though your heart raced as you said it.
“I’m more than just my reputation, you know.” Jake let out a chuckle, leaning closer as he turned his body toward you. “I promise I won’t be that guy tonight.”
You appreciated his earnestness, and it eased some of your nerves. “What guy are you going to be then?”
“The guy who’s crazy about you,” he said softly, the sincerity of his words hitting you like a warm wave.
You glanced away, your heart pounding, the weight of his confession sinking in. The rest of the drive passed in a comfortable silence, the city lights flashing by as you felt the promise of something more lingering in the air. The only time either of you spoke was when Jake would give you directions on where to turn to get to his off-base apartment.
As you approached his apartment complex, you parked the car and turned off the engine, the moment hanging between you. You took a deep breath, readying yourself for whatever came next.
Jake reached over and gently squeezed your hand, his touch sending warmth through you. “You okay?”
You nodded, meeting his gaze, the tension palpable. “Yeah. I think I am.”
“Good,” he said, his voice low and inviting. “Let’s take it slow, alright?”
As you stepped into Jake's apartment, the familiar warmth and coziness wrapped around you like a hug. The low light from a few strategically placed lamps bathed the space in a golden glow, and the faint scent of cologne lingered in the air. It felt inviting, and for a moment, the nervous energy that had been building since you left The Hard Deck began to dissipate.
Jake closed the door behind you and gestured toward the couch. “Make yourself at home. Want something to drink?”
You glanced around, taking in the soft, comfortable furnishings and the scattered remnants of his life—a few books on the coffee table, a framed picture of him and his fellow pilots, and a small plant in the corner that added a splash of green. “Sure, um… what do you have?” you asked, a hint of nervousness creeping back into your voice.
“Beer, water, or I think I might have some whiskey,” he replied, flashing a playful smile. “I could also make us some fancy cocktails if you’re feeling adventurous.”
You chuckled softly. “I’ll stick with beer for now. I think my nerves could use something familiar.”
“Good choice,” he said, moving toward the small kitchen area, and you followed, taking a seat on the couch. The soft cushions cradled you, a welcome comfort. As he grabbed two cold beers from the fridge, you noticed the way his muscles flexed, the effortless grace with which he moved.
He returned, handing you a bottle and plopping down beside you. “So, what do you want to watch?” He reached for the remote, casually leaning back against the couch, his proximity both comforting and electrifying.
You took a sip of your beer, grateful for the momentary distraction. “I’m not picky. What do you usually watch?”
He chuckled, a mischievous glint in his eye. “I’m a sucker for anything with explosions, but I guess I could put on something less intense for you.”
“Maybe something funny?” you suggested, smiling. “I could use a good laugh right now.”
“Alright, let’s see what we can find,” he replied, scrolling through the options before settling on a comedy special. The familiar sound of laughter filled the room, and as you settled back, you felt the tension begin to ease away.
As the comedy special played on, you found yourself laughing at the jokes, the atmosphere gradually shifting from tense to relaxed. You both exchanged playful banter, the conversation flowing easily between you as you started to feel more at ease.
Jake made a few jokes that had you in stitches, and it felt refreshing to be with someone who made you laugh so easily. The sound of his laughter was infectious, and soon you were both caught up in a lighthearted exchange.
At one point, he leaned closer, his body angled toward yours, and you caught the warmth of his gaze. “You know, I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you these past few months,” he said, his voice softening, sincerity spilling over the humor. “You’re not like other girls I’ve met.”
“What do you mean?” you asked, genuinely curious.
He hesitated for a moment, searching for the right words. “You’re real. You don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. I like that.”
A small blush crept across your cheeks at his compliment. “Thanks, I guess,” you replied, feeling the warmth of his gaze on you.
The air between you crackled with an undeniable tension, a magnetic pull that drew you closer to Jake. He maintained a patient silence, his eyes searching yours as if waiting for a cue. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, a whirlwind of emotions swirling within you.
After a moment, you gathered your courage, leaning in just slightly, your breath hitching as you closed the distance. Jake's gaze softened, his lips parting slightly in anticipation.
When your lips finally met, it felt electric. The kiss was gentle at first, a tentative exploration, but as you melted against him, the softness deepened into something more passionate. Jake’s hands found their way to your waist, pulling you closer as he responded to your kiss with a fervor that sent shivers down your spine.
You lost yourself in the warmth of his embrace, the world outside fading into oblivion. The kiss was everything you had imagined—sweet, thrilling, and filled with an unspoken promise.
When you finally pulled away, breathless, you found Jake watching you with a mix of admiration and desire in his eyes. 
“Wow,” he murmured, a teasing smile playing on his lips. “I didn’t think you could get any cuter.”
You couldn’t help but blush at his compliment, but the warmth of his body against yours was urging you to take things further. “Maybe we should… do something else,” you suggested your voice barely above a whisper.
Jake’s smile widened, and without hesitation, he stood, offering you his hand. “Come on,” he said, leading you toward his bedroom.
The moment you stepped inside, you felt a rush of anticipation. The room was dimly lit, with a warm glow emanating from a bedside lamp. It felt safe and intimate, the perfect setting for what was about to unfold.
Jake turned to you, his expression serious yet inviting. “Are you sure about this?” he asked, his voice low and gentle, as if he were afraid to push you too far too fast.
You nodded, feeling more confident now that you were here with him. “I am,” you replied, your heart racing with excitement. “I want to be with you.”
He closed the space between you, cupping your face in his hands. “Then let’s take it slow, okay?”
You smiled at him, grateful for his understanding. He leaned in, capturing your lips again in a heated kiss. His hands roamed your back, sending sparks of electricity through your skin, as you melted into him. You could feel the intensity of his desire mirrored in your own, and it filled you with a sense of exhilaration.
With a gentle nudge, Jake led you to the bed, sitting you down as he knelt in front of you. He took a moment to look up at you, his green eyes filled with warmth and something deeper—something that made your heart race.
“Are you really okay with this?” he asked again, his voice a soothing balm to your nerves.
You reached for him, brushing your fingers against his cheek. “I am,” you assured him, your heart swelling with affection. “Just… be gentle with me.”
“Always,” he promised, leaning in to kiss you softly, a world of emotion wrapped up in that one gesture.
As the kiss deepened, you felt the heat of his body pressing against yours, and the weight of your nervousness slowly began to lift. Jake’s hands moved to your waist, guiding you as he joined you on the bed, settling beside you with a tenderness that made your heart swell.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured against your lips, his breath warm and inviting.
A wave of heat washed over you at his words. “You’re not so bad yourself,” you replied shyly, the chemistry between you undeniable.
As the kiss deepened, a surge of confidence coursed through you. With a newfound boldness, your hands slid down Jake's chest, feeling the firm muscles beneath his shirt. You could feel the heat radiating from his body, and it fueled your desire. As you pushed his shirt up, Jake paused, letting you take the lead for just a moment longer.
With a playful smile, he pulled away just enough to shed the shirt completely, revealing his toned torso. Your breath hitched at the sight, and his green eyes sparkled with a mix of mischief and admiration.
His hands moved to your shirt next, fingers gently grazing your skin as he looked into your eyes, searching for your consent. “Do you want to take it off, or should I do it for you?” he asked, his voice low and teasing.
You felt a flutter of excitement in your stomach, a thrill at being so vulnerable yet completely safe with him. “You can do it,” you replied, your voice steady despite the rapid beating of your heart.
With a smile that sent warmth pooling in your chest, Jake carefully lifted your shirt, baring your skin inch by inch. His touch was gentle, and you reveled in the sensation of being exposed to him. Once your shirt was off, he leaned down, kissing a trail down your neck, shoulders, and collarbones, sending shivers through you.
The warmth of his breath against your skin sent waves of anticipation through you. With a deep breath, you caught him off guard by whispering, “I want more.”
Without missing a beat, Jake’s lips found yours again, igniting a fire that burned brighter than before. His hands moved with purpose, exploring your body as he trailed kisses down your chest, pausing to pay attention to every sensitive spot. The way he worshipped your skin made you feel cherished and desired all at once.
With each kiss, your confidence grew, and the nervousness that once lingered began to fade into exhilaration. You melted into him, losing yourself in the sensation of his warmth against you.
Jake’s kisses ignited every nerve ending in your body, and you responded instinctively, arching into him as he continued his exploration. His hands moved expertly, caressing your skin and pulling you closer, as if trying to fuse your bodies into one.
“God, you’re beautiful,” he murmured against your collarbone, and the way he looked at you, with such intensity and reverence, made you feel like the only person in the world.
Feeling emboldened, you reached out, your fingers grazing his jawline before tangling in his hair, pulling him closer as you captured his lips once more. The kiss was fervent, passionate, and filled with the promise of everything that was yet to come.
With a playful glint in his eye, Jake pulled back just slightly, his breath hot against your lips. “Just so you know,” he said, a teasing smirk on his face, “this is definitely not a one-time thing.”
You couldn’t help but laugh, feeling lighter, more alive than ever. “I’m glad,” you replied, your heart swelling with anticipation for what the night had in store.
As the kiss deepened, you felt the heat between you both intensifying. Jake's hands moved with a mix of urgency and tenderness as he helped you slide out of the rest of your clothes. Each piece of fabric that fell away felt like a barrier dissolving, but as you lay fully exposed before him, a wave of shyness washed over you. The vulnerability was overwhelming, and your heart raced with a mixture of excitement and nervousness.
Jake noticed the change in your demeanor, the way your confidence seemed to flicker just for a moment. With a gentle smile, he leaned over to grab a blanket from the edge of the bed, pulling it up over both of you, as if to cocoon you in warmth and comfort. 
“Hey,” he said softly, his eyes filled with reassurance, “you’re stunning. Just take a deep breath.”
You glanced at him, his presence grounding you even as you felt a blush creep up your cheeks. His gaze was warm, filled with a mix of desire and admiration, and it helped ease some of your nerves. But there was still the matter of the not-so-fun conversation to be had.
“Okay, we should talk about… you know,” Jake said, his voice a little more serious as he leaned back slightly, creating a little space. “Protection.”
You nodded, feeling your heart race in a different way now. “I’m on the pill,” you admitted, trying to keep your voice steady. “But I’d prefer it if you wore a condom too.”
Jake’s expression shifted to one of understanding. “Absolutely,” he said, a hint of relief in his tone. “Better safe than sorry.” He leaned over to his nightstand, opening the drawer and retrieving a condom.
You watched as he slid it on with practiced ease, the action both intimate and reassuring. It reminded you that despite the heat of the moment, he was still focused on your comfort and safety.
Once he was ready, he turned back to you, the blanket still wrapped around your bodies. “You okay?” he asked, his voice low and sincere.
You nodded, feeling a little more at ease, the warmth of the blanket and his presence enveloping you. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just… a little nervous.”
He smiled softly, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “That’s completely normal. We can take this as slow as you need.”
With that, the nervous tension began to ebb away, replaced by the gentle caress of anticipation. Jake shifted closer, his body warm against yours beneath the blanket. You could feel his heart beating in rhythm with yours, a comforting reminder that you weren’t alone in this.
“Just tell me what you want, and I’ll follow your lead,” he murmured, his eyes locked onto yours, searching for any signs of hesitation.
Taking a deep breath, you nodded again, feeling the warmth of his gaze on you. “I want you,” you whispered, your voice steady now.
A grin broke out on Jake’s face, his eyes sparkling with delight. “Then let’s make this a night to remember,” he replied, his tone a mix of excitement and reverence.
With that, he closed the space between you, capturing your lips in another kiss, this one slow and deliberate. The world outside faded away, and in that moment, it was just you and Jake, ready to explore the depth of your connection together.
As Jake positioned himself at your entrance, a rush of anticipation coursed through you. He paused, looking deeply into your eyes, searching for any signs of uncertainty. With a gentle nod from you, he began to slide himself inside you, inch by inch.
The initial sensation was unfamiliar, but it wasn’t painful; instead, it felt like a warm, fulfilling stretch, unlike anything you’d ever experienced. Your breath hitched as he moved slowly, allowing you to adjust to this new intimacy. Jake’s lips found your neck, planting soft kisses along your collarbone, whispering sweet nothings that made your heart race even faster.
“Just breathe, okay? I’ve got you,” he murmured against your skin, his voice low and filled with awe.
You nodded, feeling his warmth envelop you, both physically and emotionally. With each gentle thrust, he slid deeper, filling you completely. The rhythm he established was deliberate, slow, and tender, letting you savor every sensation.
“Tell me how it feels,” he whispered, pulling back just enough to lock eyes with you, his green gaze intense and sincere.
“It feels… good,” you breathed out, the words escaping before you could second-guess yourself. 
A smile spread across his face, his confidence mingling with genuine affection. “That’s all I want. Just want to make you feel good. You just tell me if you want me to go faster or if you want me to slow down.”
You shook your head, feeling more confident with every soft thrust. “No, just… keep going.”
Encouraged by your words, Jake adjusted his position slightly, finding a deeper angle. The pleasure built steadily, warmth pooling in your core as he moved. Each gentle thrust sent waves of sensation coursing through you, the connection between your bodies deepening with every moment.
He continued to whisper to you, his voice a mix of reassurance and desire. “You’re doing amazing. Just like that. You’re perfect.”
Jake’s kisses traveled back to your lips, capturing your mouth again in a heated kiss that ignited the spark between you even further. He pulled you closer, wrapping an arm around your waist, as if he wanted to envelop you completely.
You wrapped your legs around him, pulling him closer as you felt yourself responding to his rhythm, instinctively moving with him. The sensation of his skin against yours ignited every nerve ending, making you gasp softly between kisses.
“You’re incredible,” Jake murmured, his voice husky and filled with admiration.
His words sent a thrill down your spine. You closed your eyes, losing yourself in the sensations he was creating, the warmth radiating from where you were joined. You focused on your breathing, allowing each inhale and exhale to synchronize with his movements, feeling the heat pooling in your core grow more intense.
“Jake,” you whispered, the name barely escaping your lips. You felt more vulnerable than ever, yet there was a thrill in that vulnerability, a trust in the way he held you, as if he were cherishing you.
With a gentle movement, he shifted his angle, and suddenly a wave of pleasure surged through you, almost overwhelming in its intensity. You gasped, feeling the unfamiliar sensation build higher and higher within you.
“Did you like that?” he teased, his breath warm against your neck. He began to pick up his pace, the urgency in his movements matching the rising tide of pleasure. 
You could only nod, too lost in the moment to find the words.
“Good,” he breathed, his lips trailing down to your collarbone. “I want you to feel everything, to let it all in.”
As he continued to move inside you, you felt a sense of liberation wash over you. Your hands found their way to his hair, fingers tangling in the soft strands as you pulled him closer, silently urging him to keep going.
“You can let go, baby. Just enjoy it,” he encouraged his voice a steady anchor amidst the rising waves of pleasure.
And let go you did. You surrendered to the sensations, allowing each thrust to send you higher and higher, the world outside becoming a blur as you focused solely on the feeling of him inside you, filling you, moving with you.
Your breaths came in shorter gasps, and you felt an unfamiliar tightening deep within you, the unmistakable sign of your impending climax. 
You bit your lip, trying to hold back the pleasure, but Jake seemed to sense your body’s reactions.
“Don’t hold back,” he whispered, his eyes searching yours for permission. “I want to see you let go.”
With a final, desperate thrust, that wave crashed over you, enveloping you in ecstasy. You cried out his name, the sound echoing in the dimly lit room as the world exploded in colors behind your closed eyelids.
Jake followed you, his movements becoming more erratic as he found his release, his body tensing above you, his eyes locked onto yours. In that shared moment of bliss, everything fell away—the doubts, the worries, and the fears—all that existed was the two of you, intertwined in a dance of passion and vulnerability.
As you both rode the waves of pleasure down, Jake collapsed beside you, pulling you close, his heart racing in time with yours. You nestled into him, feeling the warmth radiating from his body.
“Wow,” he finally breathed, his voice still thick with disbelief. “That was… incredible.”
You chuckled softly, still catching your breath. “Yeah, it was.”
Jake stroked your hair gently, his fingers weaving through the strands. “You okay?” he asked, his voice suddenly serious.
You nodded, looking up to meet his gaze. “Yeah, I am. More than okay, actually.”
A smile spread across his face, a mixture of relief and delight. “Good. Because that was just the beginning.”
After disposing of the condom, Jake crawled back into bed, the sheets cool against his skin. He noticed you instinctively covering yourself with the blanket, a hint of shyness creeping in after the intense connection you had just shared.
With a soft chuckle, he quickly rummaged through his dresser, retrieving a clean T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. 
“Hey,” he called out gently, “you might want to get comfy.” He tossed the clothes toward you, a playful grin on his face.
You caught the shirt and pants, a smile tugging at your lips as you slipped into the bathroom. After changing, you took a moment to compose yourself. The lingering sensations from earlier sent butterflies swirling in your stomach, and you took a deep breath to steady your nerves. You glanced at your reflection, a mix of exhilaration and disbelief washing over you.
When you finally stepped out, you found Jake lying in bed, now wearing a pair of sweatpants and leaning back against the headboard, his phone in hand. 
His eyes lit up the moment he saw you. “There you are,” he said, grinning. “Looking good.”
You felt the warmth spread across your cheeks at his compliment. “Thanks,” you replied, your voice soft as you moved to the edge of the bed, feeling the softness of the sheets beneath your fingers.
There was a confidence radiating off him like a warm glow. “How are you feeling?” he asked genuine concern in his gaze.
“Still processing, I think,” you admitted, shifting slightly as you sat on the edge of the bed, the blanket pooling around your legs. “But… I’m really happy.”
He smiled at that, his expression softening. “Good. You should be. That was amazing.”
You bit your lip, trying to suppress the smile that threatened to break free. “It was,” you agreed, glancing down at your hands for a moment before meeting his eyes again. “I wasn’t sure what to expect, but…”
“But?” he prompted, leaning forward slightly, his curiosity piqued.
“But it was better than I ever imagined,” you finished, feeling a rush of honesty.
Jake’s smile widened, and he scooted closer to you, his knee brushing against yours. “I’m glad to hear that. You deserve to feel that way, you know?” He paused, his voice turning serious. “I didn’t want you to feel pressured.”
You nodded, feeling a wave of warmth spread through you at his words. “I know. I trust you,” you said softly, searching his gaze for any sign of doubt. But all you found was sincerity.
“Good,” he replied, his tone lightening again. “So, what do you want to do now? We could order food, watch something ridiculous on TV, or just talk. Whatever you’re comfortable with.”
You couldn’t help but laugh at the options. “Food sounds good,” you said, feeling your stomach rumble in agreement.
“Alright,” he said, leaning back against the headboard with a playful smirk. “I’ll let you pick. Just know, if you choose pineapple on pizza, I might have to reevaluate our relationship.”
You giggled, shaking your head. “No pineapple, I promise.”
“Whew,” he said dramatically, placing a hand over his heart as if he had been spared from a terrible fate. “That’s a relief.”
As you reached for your phone to look up menus, you felt the tension from earlier dissolve into the comfortable atmosphere around you. You couldn’t shake the feeling of warmth and safety that wrapped around you like a cozy blanket.
You exchanged jokes and light-hearted banter, the air filled with laughter. It felt easy, the way it always had, but now there was an added layer of intimacy that made your heart race every time his hand brushed against yours.
“Alright, I think I found a place,” you said, finally breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between you. “How about tacos? They have really good ones.”
Jake nodded, looking pleased. “Tacos it is. But you have to promise me we’ll get dessert afterward.”
“Deal,” you agreed, your stomach fluttering again, both from the food and the closeness of him beside you.
After placing the order, you settled back into the bed, leaning against Jake as he grabbed the remote. With a few clicks, the TV flickered to life, a mindless comedy playing in the background as you both relaxed.
Every so often, he would glance at you, a soft smile on his face as he made jokes about the show. You could feel the chemistry between you, the tension of the night slowly morphing into something warm and comforting, as if you were both basking in the aftermath of what had just unfolded.
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ambrosiagoldfish · 9 months ago
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Can you write more Adam fics plz there so freaking good
Benefit of the Doubt PT.2
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Adam x 3rd Spouse! Reader
Viewer discretion is advised
Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff to Angst to comfort, General Adam TW’s, Reader lowkey-highkey has a complex about being loved, Panic attack (I’m not even sure if this is correct term or not), Adam is afraid of heights (makes sense in story) This is set way before the show, and Gn! Reader (Y/n is once again not used lol)
Part 1 Part 3 Part 4
Request Box: Open
Word count: 3136
A/N: Hi! I’d like to Thank you all for the love and support on Part 1! It means a lot that you all enjoyed it as I loved writing it! I’d also like to apologize for this being a week late, I honestly had 0 idea on how to start this one and then a bunch of stuff in my life happened, so it was a mess.
So as an apology I tried to make this one longer than the first! (I seemed to go a little overboard but it’s fine)
Anyways I hope you all enjoy part 2 to ‘Benefit of the doubt’ and as always, if you do, please tell me if want another part in replies/requests/DM’s!
Proofread but of course could have missed something
Tags: @tired-of-life-86
To think love could feel this good.
You were made for it, to give it, receive it… You’ve waited your entire existence for this love, This closeness. It doesn’t even feel real now, even as you’re walking down the golden lined streets of heaven with his arm wrapped around you, all while you’ve been showing him around. The best places to eat, entertainment, or just a nice park. You made sure to show him all of it.
He kept his wings tucked to his sides, the gold contrasting with the white of his robe. The feathers at first glance looked sharp, but now, being so close to him, you could see each of them individually and how soft they must be.
“Hey Sweetcheeks, my eyes are up here”
You jump slightly “Sorry… Adam.” You avert your eyes away from him and focus them in front of you.
Adam laughed “I didn’t say you had to fuxkin’ to stop”
His wings truly were beautiful. It was hard to keep your eyes off them. Adam had only got to heaven recently, it made you wonder if he had the chance to use them yet. You remember when you were first created, wings took forever to get used to. You crashed and fell so many times before you figured out how to use them
Properly.
“Ok seriously, you keep staring, what the fxck is up with you?”
“It’s nothing, just…. Have you tried out your wings yet?”
“Uh, yeah totally, they’re rad as hell” Adam’s voice drifted off, the LED eyes of his mask looking away from you as you both walked. Was he… lying? Why would he lie?
You quickly walked in front of Adam, leaving his warm embrace, gently you took his hands as your wings picked you off the ground. The gust of wind with each flap softly blew around you.
“Well, come on, it will be faster than walking.” Your voice was soft and airy. Slowly, so very slowly, you lifted yourself higher from the ground, Adam’s hands locked firmly in yours, as he was pulled with you in the air.
“W-Wait a- shit- Wait a- motherfuxking second“ Adam yelled strand after strand of curses as you both lifted further and further into the air. His body flailed and his legs kicked against nothing. You pull him to you, his arms quickly snake around your waist, holding on for his dear After-life.
“Adam… did you lie to me?” Your voice was still so soft, so calm, so sweet.
“Fuck- yes I lied, I’m sorry, so put me the fuck down you crazy asshole-“ Vulgar as ever, his voice had fear in it, the LED eyes were forced shut and his grip around you was getting tighter and tighter.
Your arms wrapped around Adam’s head as you laid back, letting The wind breeze from the air pull and push you along its path with your wings soaring through the clouds..
“Adam, it’s ok, I promise you’re fine, all you have to do is open your eyes.”
You pet the back of his neck trying to sooth him which seemed to work after a few seconds. Adam didn’t want to, he really didn’t want to open his eyes. But the longer he kept them close, the more you would whisper soft words of encouragement to him. Eventually, his eyes slowly but surely opened.
“See? There is nothing to be scared of. I’ve got you.”
You hold him closer in your embrace. Adam looked below, the white vastness of heaven’s clouds beneath you both felt unreal, but as amazing a sight it was, Adam’s grip on you didn’t loosen.
“So… I’m guessing you don’t know how to fly yet?” You laugh a little, rubbing a spot on his back, just between his wings comfortingly.
Adam huffed and looked away “oh! I couldn’t fxcking see that!”
You held him close to you. The embrace seemed never ending, and you loved every second of it. Feeling the warmth of his plump body next to you was like a dream come true.
“Here let me just…”
You moved your hands slowly down his arms, caressing the soft flesh as they moved to eventually be at his hands behind you. You began to leisurely undo the grip he had around you.
“What do you think you're doing-“
“Shhh, relax, just trust me, ok?”
With each finger being removed from you, the grip lessened bit by bit, until eventually his hands were fully in yours. Your face leaned closer to his,
“Come on, just give your wings a good flap, trust me.”
“Ugh…. Fine but I swear to god if you let go-“
“I won’t.” Your voice was firm, yet still remained reassuring.
Adam didn’t want to do this. He really didn’t want to. But what other choice did he have? He gruffs and extends his wings from his body. The wind brushed and tickled at his feathers. The way the light hit them caused a glare of gold to be cast from them, enveloping you both. Then, he gave two hard flaps of his wings, he lifted up slightly before quickly falling back to where he was.
“There you go! Now keep doing that.”
Adam continued, his wings slowly pushing him up and up before being sent back down when he stopped. This repeated for a few minutes until he finally got a grip on it. The entire time, you were laughing. Pure unadulterated laughs of joy.
Truly, to think love could feel this good?
“See? You're a natural!”
“Of course I am! I’m the Original Dick, obviously I’d… be good at this… flying… shit.” With all the parading he was doing he kept forgetting to use his wings causing him to fall. ‘A natural’ may have been an overstatement on your part, but hey? At least he hasn’t fallen flat on his face yet!
Gently, you led him through air, giving him reassurance every few feet you flew, never letting go. Seconds turned to minutes, minutes to hours. Before you knew it a brisk orange sunset encased you both with its hue. That’s when you realized just how long you both had been flying.
“You must be tired with sightseeing all day… I think it’s time we go home and rest, yeah?”
“Home?” Adam’s voice sounded for a moment genuinely confused. Had he not been told he’d have a place to live in heaven? As much respect you had for Sera, you’ll have to file a complaint to avoid this with future souls.
You gripped his hand and opened your wings letting the wind lead you through the clouds and above the city. The angels below look like ants at the height you both were. It was peaceful, the flight back home. But it did seem… off? So… quiet? You couldn’t put it together, at least not at the moment, But Adam hadn’t spoken a word since you both left.
Adam, while yes, he was initially confused, it made sense to him, why wouldn’t heaven have a place for its people, a place for each of them to relax, to feel safe, happy, at home.
Home was such a weird word for Adam. Has he ever felt like a place was his ‘home’? The closest thing to it was the Garden of Eden but even that proved to be anything but a home for him. Ever since that snake entered his garden.
No. He can’t think about that now. He doesn’t want to have to think about that again. But oh-do thoughts love to worm their way back into your mind when you least want them to. He’s snaps out of his thoughts when your voice picks up
“Ok, we’re here! Just get yourself settled in and I’ll go make us something to eat. I didn't really know what food you’d like so I mainly just have junk food… I hope that's ok.”
Adam nods his head nonchalantly
You smile, waking him over to the small, plush couch in the living room and handing him a blanket and some pillows. Telling him to wait a second as you fetch some food, leaving him alone.
Adam thought your house seemed welcoming enough, ‘well… our house’ Adam thought. The living room was dark aside from a few luminous lights around the room as well as the small blue gleam from the windows from the night sky.
The couch was comfortable and the pillows just as much. And the blanket you gave him was soft and warm. This really was heaven, huh?
His thoughts are, once again, interrupted by your voice, “Ok here we go, I’ve got snacks and some soda” you say, handing him some of the many food you ravaged from your fridge and sitting beside him, wrapping yourself in the shared blanket.
Grabbing the remote lying next to you, you flick on the TV flipping through the channel before ending on a cheesy sitcom, you keep the volume low wanting to enjoy any conversation with Adam. Except… he never started one. So that’s what felt off.
The entire time you flew back home, got snacks and found something to watch. He hadn't said a word. You may not have known him long but even you had already picked up that he was an advid talker in a conversation.
“Is… everything ok Adam?” You whispered, not want to scare him with your random words.
“What kind of question is that, I’m fxcking fine… I’m fine.” His voice trailed off at the end almost getting as quiet as yours.
“Are you sure cause-“
“I said I’m fuxking fine!” His voice roared through the dark room. Gritty and callous, but you could tell it was meant to hide something. Something he didn’t want you to see.
“I’m sorry…” you paused. What did you want to say from here? What could you say? You took a deep breath and tried to continue. “I… I know I said this earlier… when Sera left.”
Adam’s LED mask looked away from you half shut eyes and a frown forming a scowl on it, but still he let you continue.
“But I’m going to say it again anyways cause… I mean it. I’m really happy to have you here. To finally have you home” you place your arm around Adam’s back rubbing it soothingly as let your head slowly lax onto him, gently cuddling close to him.
That word again… home. That’s all he could think about ever since he first heard you say it. Why? Why couldn’t he get it out of his head? His breathing was becoming unsteady with each new thought and image his brain made. Lilith and Eve, they were made to be apart of his home, for him to be apart of their homes. So why? Why did it end that way?
Suddenly Adam leap from the couch as fast as he could, the shear force knocking you to the other side of the couch, sending the food to scatter and drinks to spill to the floor.
“Adam!?” Your voice was frightened at the sudden movement. Adam looked just as frightened as you, at least from what you could tell through the LED mask. He suddenly began running, where? he didn’t know, the rooms in the house looked the same. But all he knew is that he needed to be away from you. You followed quickly behind him and pleaded for him to tell you what was wrong, but eventually he ran into a room and locked the door.
He looked around, already out of breath. He was in a bathroom. He felt his knees give out under him as he tried to slowly sit down by the tub. His breath heavy, it was hard to breathe, this stupid mask. He needed it off. But just as he went to do so,
*rattle rattle rattle*
The doorknob began to move followed by frantic knocking on the door.
“Adam! Are you ok?!” Your voice pleaded through the wood of the door.
“Fuxk- I'm fine! How many times do I have to tell you that shit” his voice cracked a few times followed by a strand of curses leaving his lips.
Home. The word repeated like a mantra in his head. Like it was mocking him. Was he not meant to have a place he called a home? To have someone to return to, who would tell him “welcome back!” Without even being told to?
Lilith hated him, Eve betrayed and hurt him like no one else before, ever. They were made to be with him, one was literally made to be his other half. The garden, his home, was taken from him because of something, someone he couldn’t control. it all comes back to him. That albino snake in the grass.
Lucifer, ‘The dreamer’… was this some sort of game to him? To toy with his emotions, treat him like some kind of plaything to mess with, to screw over? What kind of life was it? To have every opportunity and opening be broken down by him, And Adam being powerless to stop it?
“Adam! Please open the door!” Your voice was even more frantic now, knocking every few seconds before it quickly quieted down. Your body slumped against the door.
“Adam… I’m sorry if I hurt you or… or if I was going too fast… I didn't mean to… I’m so sorry…” your breath hitched with tears.
And then there was you.
You have been nothing but kind to him since you met him. You showed him around heaven, taught him how to fly and welcomed him home without having being told to. You were so different. So, so very different. Adam figure that out a while ago now. But in reality, it’s exactly why he was terrified.
To have someone who loves him so... unconditionally.
*click*
The sound of the door unlocking drew your attention and was followed by it slowly opening from Adam on the other side, still on the floor.
“Adam!” Your voice was low, already tired from crying. You crawled your way toward him before stopping in front of him, tears still falling from your face, “I’m sorry Adam, I’m sorry-“ you were cut off by a quick movement.
Warmth enveloped you, clouding your senses as a soft weight laid onto you. Arms wrapped their way around you in an embrace.
“Shit- it's not your fault, it was never your fault…” Adam’s voice was surprisingly soft, a stark contrast to his regular tone. Sincerity evident with each word. All you could do was hide into his large frame and cry at the words.
Adam was never good at comforting people. He himself was never comforted, so the concept was more than a bit foreign to him. But even still, he tried. Slowly he helped you both up from the bathroom floor and made your way back to the couch.
The floor was covered in the discarded food you both left behind. The spilled soda is now dried and sticky. Crumbs everywhere.
“Here.. let me get a mop and broom-“
“No just sit down, I’ll clean up the shit I made” you lay down on the couch and watched as Adam swept and mopped the mess from the floor. The entire time the silence hung in the air by a thread. Neither of you wanting to be the one to snap the string and speak.
Finally Adam got done cleaning the mess and made his way to the couch. He sat down and gestured for you to come closer. Crawling over to him, he wrapped the blanket around you both allowing you to snuggle into him.
“Do…” your voice barely audible “Do you want to talk about it?”
Adam looked hesitant but nodded.
“You know about everything, right? About… what all happened in Eden?
You nod against his chest content on listening.
“When… When Lilith left me, I thought I didn't care as much as I did. I thought she was a bitch and that was that. And it didn’t help that as soon as she left, I got Eve…”
He paused
“Then, when I found out about that shit between Eve and Lucifer… I didn’t care then either, but I didn’t understand why…” his voice hitched “but when I ate that damn apple… I realized how hurt I should have been. All the concepts of right and wrong, good and evil, learning all of it through that fruit, I realized one shitty truth… that the one I loved betrayed me.”
You hugged him tighter softly, your hands caressed his stomach as some form of comfort before he continued.
“For the same person- Both of them for that snake…”
“Adam… I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”
“And that’s why… I’m scared. Scared that I will fuxk up again and get… attached to you. Because every. single. time. He ruins it. And I don't want to see that happen with you.”
Your heart ached for him, the saddening look of his LED mask as he talked only furthered your emotions. Slowly your hands made their way to his face, he looks at you confused, your fingertips crept under the mask before his hand shot up and held your wrist slightly, carefully not holding it too tight.
“Sorry fuck- I’m.. I’m not ready.”
You smile and nod understanding “Adam. I love you… with all of my heart. And I would never do what those two done to you. “
Adam thought for a moment deciding what to say.
“Promise?” was all he could think of, his voice, mind, and body were all too tired to speak more about it.
You slowly remove your hands from his mask, instead taking one of his hands into yours.
“I promise, I would never betray you, let alone talk to that man” ever-so lightly, a soft golden glow burned between yours and Adam’s hands, the gold flame was warm and comforting to both of you as it rose and grew in strength.
From the flame, a string wrapped and warped itself around both yours and Adam’s pinky fingers. The string tightened and loosened as it moved, before finally melting away leaving only two solid gold rings behind, One on Adam’s finger and the other on yours.
“What the hell was that?” Adam’s voice was filled with bewilderment
“A deal- or I guess a promise. In this case”
“Shit, You didn’t have to do that-“ this time it was your turn to interrupt him. You bring Adam’s hand to your lips, and give a kiss on his newly formed ring before lying down and cuddling into Adam.
“I know.”
For once in his life, Adam felt at ease with love. How easy it was to fall for you.
Is this what home feels like?
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