heathertsuki

[heathertsuki]

bro is weepy (bro needs a hug)

pomgle.. gangni.

[heathertsuki]

I saw the new tadc episode and I am moved

[heathertsuki]

eyestrain cw

imagine if you will.. two women wanted to kill eachother

[heathertsuki]

honestly i think i could come to peace with it if Ragatha does end up being toxic and maybe even a bit narcissistic.

as long as she doesn't like… outright hate or just not genuinely care about everyone. as long as she's not malicious. as long as she genuinely cares about/loves her friends and wants them to be okay, even if she also happens to be addicted to their approval.

if i'm being honest? sometimes i feel like i can be a bit "toxic" and narcissistic too. i want things to go my way and i want people to like me and appreciate me. if i feel like my efforts aren't noticed, i get disappointed and sometimes even a little bitter. i think that's sort of normal, isn't it?

but i also genuinely do love the people in my life and wanna do good by them. and i'm willing to put my own selfishness aside for others if need be. i don't wanna just make everything "me first, me first." i want the best outcome for everyone.

so like if they can pull off Ragatha wanting peoples' love and approval without making her a full-on shallow fake who literally only cares about people kissing her ass, it would just make me relate to her even more.

[heathertsuki]

ooughhhhh right on THE MONEY

Episode 4 Talk: Ragatha

LOOK I know this is the Gangle episode (And yes I WILL give my own thoughts and feelings on her later because there's SO much to unpack with Gangle) but I wanna share my thoughts on Ragatha and what it shows about her character since the next episode is all about her.

I think Ragatha was honestly a highlight of her character just not in the typical sense. The reason is because the way she showed flaws in her character was unique and not how most flaws are shown. The stupid sauce making her honest is very interesting to me, but I also think a lot of people won't fully understand what this means

So- let's start with this over analysis on this character and why she's still honestly my favorite in the series

(SPOILERS AHEAD)

First of all, there's no doubt that the stadium teaser is the Ragatha episode. She is literally teaching Gangle how to throw a ball. It's something she knows about well, and it'll make sense for that to be where we see her the most. Of COURSE she's gonna love a teamwork-based game, but similar to this episode, it's probably gonna boomerang back into something horrible

But then there's after Gangle's mask is broken. After checking if Gangle's okay (sort of, she didn't exactly try) she instantly attacks Jax and they start to fight

Considering a line later in the episode that she said that I'll talk about later on in this essay, I think this does make sense for her character. She seems to have a short tempter with specifically Jax, so she's more likely to turn on him. I think this is due to how he behaves in general, so them always being at each other's throats is probably a very common thing

Them arguing as well gives off (personally) sibling or roommate energy, which I kinda appreciate

After a bit though, we get to the REAL meat of the analysis (pun intended tee hee) which is... the stupid sauce

First of all: I do kinda feel bad for Ragatha. She honestly would've been a fine employee (maybe overworked like Jax?), but the stupid sauce getting into her eye was 100% accidental. Meaning from here on out, we know Ragatha is not completely in character, and against her will at that point

But also the creepy scene out of nowhere makes me think that maybe this stupid sauce isn't the best thing to have....

(although on a funny unrelated note, her reaction makes me think she's a bit of a monster fucker. Hehe, Ragatha x Gangle go brrr)

After a bit of funnier shenanigans, and the Gummigoo thing, we get to the first bits of these impulsive honest thoughts

I think that how these "honest thoughts" work is that they're not like her ACTUAL thoughts, but instead it's what she's thinking at that exact moment. She's going off on exactly what she's thinking and just speaking without foresight. This is the first line that I think implies this, especially with the "I wish someone flirted with me" line

She's not exactly jealous. She's just- saying what comes to her mind. And at this moment, its mild annoyance turning into being upset that she doesn't get that same treatment. Like the "Why isn't that me, why not I get that treatment?" impulsive thought

After some more funny, and a very creepy scene that I swear to GOD is a Get Out reference, we get to another part that for me proves that "Impulsive Honesty" idea for Ragatha. She's TRYING to work, but just- kinda can't cause she's all slouchy and all that, to which Zooble gets annoyed

And then Ragatha calls her a "grouch"

She only says this because Zooble's complaining that she's not doing anything. And Ragatha, having impulsive honesty, just complains back only to say something that makes herself laugh

It's just what she's thinking at the moment

And then here's the part where I think a lot of people aren't going to get this right: The Ragatha and Gangle conversation

This scene is VERY important to me. Specifically, with what it shares about Ragatha. First of all, we get LORE-??? She HAD HORSES AT SOME POINT???

And then we get two lines that I can say as someone who has actually recently been so sick while on their period that I had zero filter in the slightest are 100% impulsive honesty

First, we have the "I'm more responsible than you" line. First of all, she's not. She REALLY fucking isn't. She's all bark and no bite she does NOT have the mature attitude it takes to being a manager despite being older. In fact, it's funny she says this because of the fact that she's the ONLY character working under Gangle that's older

She's been in the circus for a while, and that means she also didn't mature from her mindset from whenever she joined in, which I do think it'd be rather young considering Kinger's age

So this "I'm responsible because I'm older" mindset is certainly on the table for why she said this. Probably because she was taught this mindset when growing up

She would NEVER think this is sober I believe though. Again. IMPULSIVE HONESTY. What was on her mind AT THAT EXACT MOMENT

(Also side note: Gangle still clearly cares about Ragatha in this scene, and I think she knows she'd be a bad manager due to her own struggles and flaws)

Of course after the HONESTLY AMAZING RAGGEDY ANDY REFERENCE we get the scene I feel that's gonna make people misunderstand her the most... THIS SCENE.

This whole scene is so interesting about how Ragatha's impulsive honesty works. Because let's be honest... We've ALL had these thoughts. Like em or not, we all have thoughts like this where you find people you care about annoying or undesirable. You never WANT to have them or say them aloud, but you have those thoughts

The difference? Ragatha has no filter. She doesn't know HOW to shut up at this point and time, so she says something she didn't MEAN to say out loud. And the line she says AFTER confirms this:

SHE DOESN'T REALIZE WHAT SHE SAID WAS EVEN MEAN

Yes, it was mean, I can't deny that- but what I'm saying is that there's a lot of thoughts that go through your head every moment of every day, and not every thought you have is desirable

That's the case here. Ragatha, with no filter, WILL say mean things that she'll NEVER say sober. But I find that her even having these thoughts is a bit of foreshadowing for the future. Perhaps she'll either be more likely to hide how she feels more or be more accepting of them after her episode. Guess we'll have to wait and see for that

One more scene that's important gives us full context of what it's like to BE a people pleaser. When Jax and Ragatha interact while she's on the floor. Although more impulsive honesty, in this case it's her realizing her tendencies. Her people pleaser ways

This is her just sort of- realizing she had a weird mindset but doesn't have the right word for it- which I find neat. Not as groundbreaking in my opinion since I always felt she sorta hated Jax with how explosive she usually is with him and all, but her admitting it, even in such a state, is kinda refreshing to hear

Anyway that's my essay over. I hope this can give some new thoughts on Ragatha as a character! She's my favorite for a reason, and I want people to see how fleshed out she really is!

See you another time. Probably with some art too ^^

[heathertsuki]

preach :( such is the struggle of the individual deemed as part of the "other" in society (we live in one btw did you know that did you know tha twe live ina sosiety), we either suck it all up until we inevitably crumble under the pressure, or we act as who we unapologetically are and get chastised for not falling under what's deemed normal.

or we find community within people who, regardless of being like us, accept us for who we are, and bring with them genuine companionship and togetherness. i recommend doing that, gng.

as much as i wanna go out there into the world and let my weirdo flag fly...

as much as i wanna be a 33 year old woman with purple hair carrying a plushie in my bag, watching TADC, and not giving a fuck...

i'd be lying if i said i wasn't still EXTREMELY self-conscious about doing these things.

but at the same time i wanna be able to have that autistic joy without shaming myself for it or worrying what others could think.

i feel like i'm trying to "fake it till i make it" when it comes to accepting these things about myself.

like if i do these things long enough and pretend i don't feel weird about them... eventually i actually won't feel weird about them.

[heathertsuki]

TADC - Episode 4: Short thoughts about Jax, Zooble and Ragatha + some goofy shit (SPOILERS AHEAD, HOES!)

Apart from giving us a well-needed glimpse into Gangle's mind and past, we got to see how our scrimblos deal with the silent insanity of normality in a fast-food chain environment. Not as the clients, but the workers, of course. Firstly, we get to see a defeated Jax, conforming to the situation around him because it's all he can do, especially after being stuck glued to a screen. He was, for once, truly stripped of all control, and thus unable to get a kick out of the whole thing. Though perhaps not in a more humiliating way than when Ragatha tied him up. Not a whole deconstruction of his psyche just yet, but definitely a look into another side of his. It felt nearly personal, if you ask me... Was he also a fast food employee before, much like Zooble? Kinda fits tbh! And Zooble getting to be themselves again. God I've been yearning for more of her and we've REALLY been getting it lately. Zooble is shaping up to be the straightman (har har) of the gang, and possibly the most stable despite his internal, dysphoric struggles, and I'm VERY interested in seeing more of that dynamic, seeing as how so far, she's the most emotionally mature out of everyone, even more so than Pomni or Kinger who I'd argue are quite mature on their own. One dynamic I'd love to see is the one between Zooble and Ragatha, for reasons I'll get to right now. Ragatha seemed like she was about to be the joke character here at first and well, yeah, she delivers the laughs, but she also lets slip what she truly thinks when put into a vulnerable state of mind. That she wants to be loved, desperately so, but that she may not truly love everyone as we imagined. And before most get their pitchforks aimed at her, I just wanna say, most of us are like this. We can't and won't love everyone, but I reckon a lot of people are in fact, just trying to get by without much trouble and maybe even helping others along the way regardless of any petty issues we may have. That's Ragatha. But this isn't just a woman going through life, it's a woman trapped in a seemingly endless digital purgatory with a limited amount of people who may or may not dip into a state of unrecognizability due to an insane mental state. Is it really the best idea to keep things bottled up? I gotta see Zooble and Rags having a real ass, adult heart-to-heart.

Oh and the ships have truly sailed and sunk with this one huh. Gummigoo got re-used as an NPC and swiftly killed all hope of Pomni ever getting to truly be his friend ever. Or lover, too, if you like this couple. Some would say she was fawning over him but to me it seems more like she was just in pure awe that the being she came to care for so much and saw DIE, is suddenly back, very much so alive. All that for nothing, though, because he can't remember a thing. And Ragatha...? Ragatha's jealous. RAGATHA IS JEALOUS. Reminder that what happened to her was basically getting drunk. When drunk, most people lose their filter and speak a lot more loosely about what they think, so, perhaps Pomni's wishes of being by Gummigoo's side instead of Ragatha's when the doll looks out for her so much is more bothersome than we think. I get it though. I get you girl.

God save this one-sided doomed yuri...

[heathertsuki]

When you have unfulfilled dreams and get stuck in a dead end minimum wage job/digital circus.

[heathertsuki]

being okay is ephemeral, yuri is eternal

you’re doomed, there’s nothing I can do 

[heathertsuki]

cis people are anomalies

We're genuinely so brave for the way we somehow manage to navigate cis society never knowing wtf is going on in their heads at any given time

[heathertsuki]

all are infinitely valid

There are three kinds of LGBT headcanons:

Actual queer coding / metaphors ("Nimona is trans because her creator made her as a way to express his feelings as a trans person")

Vibes ("Link is genderless because I said so")

It's funny ("Phoenix Wright is asexual because he's the Ace Attorney")

[heathertsuki]

yea

trans women should be allowed to love. we should also be allowed to kill and hurt and maim but that’ll all come later down the ladder.

[heathertsuki]

no but actually. this is the one time i give a fuck about gatekeeping (all other instances of "justified" gatekeeping i've seen were bigots not wanting minorities in their spaces). please stop, close whatever ai program you're fiddling with, and go pick up a fucking pen, i beg of you. im not even that good of an artist and I'M saying this. that's sad. that's pathetic even. i hate ai art. please die (in minecraft haha).

just saw a fanfic on ao3 have a dedication for chatgpt... that section is meant for your horny perverted mutual who proofread your work, you violated sacred law and you will be torn apart and laid bare btw

[heathertsuki]

you all just want GLaDOS

Id rather eat cement than entertain the idea of an "AI girlfriend" thank you ads

[heathertsuki]

oh uh. so happy for her ! ?

Po- wait, WHAT'S THAT!? *gets nuked* ermmm I mean Split from regretevator

SPLIT from REGRETEVATER got an abortion!

[heathertsuki]

considering how many people's answers to "if you could have one superpower, what would it be?" is shapeshifting, yes, i lowkey agree, humanity is a prison, and maybe yeah, we should probably understand that *for now* at least we are tied to it, but we should absolutely be allowed to just, be true to who we feel and know we are regardless of what's considered cringe or whatever the fuck. who cares anyway? if it facilitates someone's happiness and isn't doing harm to anyone then just let them be happy with themselves!!!! :D yippie

of course, it can get out of hand as well, and that is something to talk abt but for now i just wanna say this

you have to let yourself be nonhuman for a while. for your mental health.

this is a healthy coping mechanism i swear

[heathertsuki]

i WILL eat her

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