#this is all over the place but I wanted to share anyways

[beloveds-embrace]

I live for the Found Family trope, it is like the air I breath and the dukedom AU is an amazing found family AU. Like the dutchess family never really cared for her, she was a commodity to be sold to her husband for political gain and she expected a life of abuse and servitude under his control, just like she was to her parents. But then she meets these amazing 4 men who worship the ground she walks on and takes time to actually get to know her and appreciate and love her and for the first time in her life she realises what a family is all about. Its love and acceptance and it is so so beautiful. And if her parents were cruel to her before her marriage and they find out? They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, but those boys would do everything in their power to destory her birth families reputaion and burn them to the ground.

FOUND FAMILY TROPE IS SO GOOD I ADORE IT 😩 i fully agree with you babes it makes me soo happy to write and see duchess getting loved like this

Dukedom 141 masterlist

You had spent your entire life as a pawn on your parents’ chessboard. A daughter shaped and molded not for love but for utility- trained to smile, to bow, to obey, first and then for your eventual husband. Your parents had made it clear that your worth lay in what you could offer them: alliances, power, status, and children. When they married you off, it wasn’t for your happiness. It was to seal a deal, and you had braced yourself for a life of cold, unfeeling servitude.

But then… there was John. And Kyle. And Simon. And Johnny.

You hadn’t expected kindness. You hadn’t expected warmth. You certainly hadn’t expected love. But that’s what you found with them anyways, a safe place to let your tender little heart rest and be adored

Johnny, with his reckless charm and unwavering loyalty, was the first to make you laugh when you thought you never would again. Kyle, steady and dependable, made you feel safe in ways you hadn’t even known you needed. Simon, sharp-tongued and fiercely protective, saw straight through your walls and vowed to stand guard at their gates. And John-your husband in name, but so much more than that in heart- looked at you like you were his entire world and made sure you never doubted it.

A family forged- not by blood, but by choice. And for the first time, you understood what family was supposed to be. It was laughter shared over quiet dinners and comfort offered without question. It was hands that held you steady, hands that didn’t hurt or inflict pain on you, but rather held you like you meant the world. And voices that called your name not as an order but as a promise. It was love, unconditional and endless.

When your birth family cams for a visit, they thought they still held power over you. They thought their words and threats could send you crawling back, begging for their approval. Cruelty lacing every letter and ever word, meant to remind you that they truly view you as something to be used and abused per their wants and needs.

But they hadn’t accounted for the four men who stood by your side now.

Johnny laughed at their arrogance when they demanded to see the chef because they weren’t happy with the food, sharp and biting, remembering how he had to spend nights promising you that you weren’t losing or gaining weight, you didn’t need to skip out on meals out of fear- he knows it was all their fault and he hates them. Kyle, calm but cold, began drafting plans to dismantle their influence piece by piece, never once hesitating, from the very second he witness the way they brushed you aside and didn’t let you speak. Simon was already spreading whispers that would see their allies turn against them, and John- oh, John- made it clear that any further attempts to harm you would be met with ruin, his voice sharp and eyes sharper, pullinh you behind him gently when it was clear your parents might strike you.

Because hell hath no fury like a woman scorned? No.

Hell hath no fury like the men who love her.

And to you, it was such a beautiful fury.

[lucygraysboy]

“please, you have nothin’ to be scared of. you’ve got me. i’ll protect you from all the junkies and hobos and rats, little birdie. it really isn’t as crazy as some people make it out to be,” he promises, placing a hand over his heart, cake pop nearly getting stuck to his scarf. they will not be sharing them now, he figures, pulling tiny threads of wool from his snack. amazing. “alrighty, i like the raccoon better anyway and i ain’t sharin’.” he’s only teasing, of course. he would if she really wanted to try his. “this one’s mine, mine, mine.”he sticks his tongue out, waving his cake pop in her face, annoying her just how he used to when they were little. “do you know that raccoons can live up to twenty years?” he only pauses to take a sip of his coffee, sweetness lingering on his tongue as warmth spills all the way down to his belly. “in captivity, where they don’t need to worry about finding food or outwitting predators. but isn’t that cool? in the wild, they usually only live up to three years, though.” he once saw a documentary about it on animal planet. “mhm, mhm… i’ve seen your ears plenty of times. i know exactly what they look like.” poking her ear through the thick fabric of her beanie, he laughs when her cold finger touches his and even ends up shrieking. it feels like he was just poked with an icicle. “hey, my poor ears. and excuse me? are you callin’ me fat right now?”

“thank you, thank you.” billy proceeds to bow dramatically and even blows a couple of kisses in lucy gray’s direction, thinking he could never get enough of her laugh and would happily make a fool of himself for the rest of his life if it only meant he’d get to listen to it every single day. “hey, no, now i’m bein’ completely serious. we need to do this.” if anyone else asked him to wear something like that, he would be laughing and telling them to get lost, but one look at lucy gray’s pleading eyes and he can’t refuse her. enthusiasm brewing deep inside his chest, knowing this will make her happy. “matchin’ t-shirts and matchin’ looks. it’s so happenin’ this summer, little bird.” it would indeed be the perfect look for a summer festival, and he makes a mental note to himself to get it done. everyone would know they belong to each other. “scared or thrilled? ready to meet the junkies and psych ward escapees and rats?” he laughs at her confession, his strong arm coiling briefly around her shoulders, squeezing her into his side as they walk out the door and head for the nearest subway station. “and what happened to no snackin’ before dinner, hm?” he playfully teases, but reaches into the bag and grabs his own cake pop. “you want the raccoon or the snowman?” he’s willing to swap if she wants the other one. it doesn’t matter to him. “cheers, big ears.” laughing, he taps one cake pop against the other. hand crumpling the paper bag, throwing it in the nearest trashcan.

[fic-dumpster]

OMG imagine this all of bonten doing the slim pickings trend if you don’t know what that is it’s basically a guy lifting a girl (normally that’s I’ll I’ve seen of this trend sorry!)

On this shoulder and flexing that basically that they can carry their girl on their shoulder 😭😩🤤

Anyways I just imagine ❤️ Kakucho ❤️ lifting us then like all of bonten wants to prove they can do it too 🫡 ugh it hurts to even think about 😖

anyways just random thought sorry it’s so long I think I had a heart attack when I thought of this

have a good day/night pookie 💋😘🙈

Anonie, idk if I got you but I’ll see what Bonten does. LET ME TELL YOU THAT I SUFFERED /J. AHSJSKS I DONT KNOW TIKTOK JAHSKSQ IM SORRY Gosh… I can’t write serious or wholesome stuff 🤧 it’s always me and my broken sense of humor.

Slim Pickings || Bonten x Reader 1.9k+ words

cw: body image, TikTok trend, nonsense, cringe… like hundred percent logging off-phone throwing-gagging worthy cringe. constant state of chaos. not edited.

“What are you two doing?” The question came from Takeomi who just stepped into your living room to see Kakucho with you sitting on his shoulder, parading you around as both laughed and smiled.

“A TikTok trend,” you answered casually.

But before Takeomi could ask more questions, the rest of Bonten began to pop into the room.

“it’s rude to stand in the entrance,” Sanzu intentionally bumped shoulders with Takeomi. Which only gained him a tired sigh from the older man.

“We heard music!” Rindou pointed out, casually strolling in.

“And your laughter,” Ran added, walking behind him brother.

After Bonten’s three menaces made their way in, silently Mikey accompanied by Kokonoi and Mochi decided to join the crowd. The shorter man curiously peeked at your form perched on his number three..

Questions began to rain on you once they saw your phone propped up on the table with more than one video of Kakucho lifting you.

“So you just lift me and place me on your shoulders,” you explained in detail to the group of men staring at your phone screen. “Yeah, like that. See?”

“We do that on a daily basis,” pointed out Ran, not really getting where this was going.

“Yeah, we see Rindou flexing his biceps at least four times a day.” Added Sanzu, snickering with his phone out scrolling through some other videos and seeing a bunch of guys just showing off.

“This shit’s easy,” huffed Rindou, ignoring the previous comment but at the same time watching Sanzu’s screen over his shoulder.

“Then it shouldn’t be a problem, right?” You rolled your eyes at the lack of initiative on their part. Although, you could guess jealousy had a part in that. They seemed bitter that your attention was solely on Kakucho.

You couldn’t have been more wrong with your statement. Bonten was not made for TikTok fame… but you didn’t know it at that time.

─────── · · ·

To see who went first they decided to draw straws… online…

You stood with Kakucho there waiting until everyone got their phones out and went to the page Rindou had shared. Lifting an eyebrow, you saw they had taken this more seriously than you had expected. Oh, yeah… they had banned Kakucho from this round.

Then you heard a groan and a bunch of hyenas laughing. First one to go? it was Kokono… and things didn’t go as planned.

“Okay, ready?” You asked a bit worried since he didn’t seem too eager to be on camera.

“Why do I have to go first?” Koko’s voice cracked a bit at the end, “you’re not posting this, right?”

A bunch of boos from the public followed Koko’s question, and by the public you mean Rindou, Ran and Sanzu. You tried to reassure him it would be alright but the damage to his pride was already done.

Once Koko’s hands were on your hips something in your gut told you that doom was imminent. He had lifted you with ease but as soon as your butt hit his shoulder, the man let out a loud whine. Somehow—someway, your zipper had gotten stuck on his silver hair. Thus, pulling it as he moved you.

“Ah! My hair! My hair!!” Koko’s desperate screams just got most of the group cracking up.

“Oh shut— ack!” You tried to stay as calm as possible, “I’m sorry!” Your eyes turned to the snickering bunch. “It’s not funny!” You held onto Koko’s head for dear life as Rindou and Sanzu avoided your gaze. The latter turned around to keep chuckling.

With his second sigh of the day, Takeomi walked towards you two, pulling Kakucho along.

“How is that this always happens to you two,” Takeomi said, trying to untangle your zipper from Koko’s hair as Kakucho steadied you on the silver-haired man’s shoulder.

After all was done, Kokonoi sat begrudgingly on the furthest sofa with a side of his long silver hair tangled in a thick mass. You smiled apologetically at him.

─────── · · ·

With a triumphant look, Rindou stood ready.

He was feeling confident after Kokonoi’s failure, but he might have gone a bit too hard… the moment he lifted you off the floor, you went flying towards the hanging lights. Thus, hitting you in the back of your head.

Everyone panicked meanwhile Mochi went for an ice pack.

It was chaos, as always—Kakucho to the rescue, he snatched you straight away from Rindou’s shoulder just in time to see Sanzu tackling the youngest Haitani. Then Ran and Takeomi began to scold the pair scuffling on the floor.

Even Mikey joined in, silently hitting Rindou in the same spot that the lamp had smacked you. Bonten’s leader walked away and kept mumbling words about how careless one could be. “An eye for an eye, Haitani.”

Just then, Mochi had walked back in to the room with an ice pack, but seeing the current situation he handed Takeomi the ice pack and went back to get a couple more.

─────── · · ·

After a prolonged discussion about safety, you suggested continuing outside which would have been fine if two people hadn’t begged you for a favor.

Ran was already smirking at you, ready to hoist you up and show the two previous failures how it was done.

And he did just that. At the count of three, you were already sitting on Ran’s shoulder. His grip was unwavering and the biggest shit-eating grin he could muster.

“Why do you always make it weird…” you mumbled once you saw Rindou visibly upset at his loss in this match.

“It’s not, though.” Ran pretended to flick a lint off his shirt, looking straight at the camera now.

It’s then that you remember the words from a certain pair—a pink and a silver head already signaling for you to take action. To keep the peace, both Haitani had to fail… miserably…

So with a deep breath, you loudly shouted something you knew Ran wouldn’t ignore. “Is that a bald spot?!” You even put a finger on his scalp to emphasize.

It happened so fast. One second you were in the air and the next you had been set down on the grass and the oldest Haitani went running to the nearest bathroom, Rindou not far behind. Not a words came out of anyone’s mouth. Meanwhile Sanzu and Koko gave you a thumbs up.

The peace had been kept. Your TikTok project began to feel more complicated than you thought it would be.

─────── · · ·

Nobody was worried about Mikey, they all knew he could easily pick you up, but Mother Nature had other plans.

“Stop laughing,” you grumbled, “it’s not that funny.”

“I’m sorry, sweetcheeks… it is…” Sanzu wheezed almost out of breath from laughing the whole day. “Mikey went straight for your pussy!”

Yes, when it was Mikey’s turn he had almost dropped you because a bee flew to his face and to his credit, he did catch you just as quick but the death-like grip went to your crotch. Which had you squealing and the clowns around you couldn’t stop laughing since then. Even Mochi and Takeomi had chuckled at the whole show.

“Haru, shut up!” You hissed, “Look! He’s sulking already!” At the sight of a brooding Mikey, everyone just went quiet. That sobered Snazu up real quick.

The Haitani brothers had just come back outside, but seeing the grey clouds on everyone’s heads they decided to slowly and carefully go back inside.

With Mikey not being in the mood anymore, the TikTok filming had to stop. Mochi and Sanzu were sad to not get a chance to try.

“Another day,” you weakly replied.

Takeomi felt a sense of relief. He wasn’t sure his back would agree today. He had lifted you before, but it was a gamble and with how everyone’s luck had been today? He didn’t wanna risk it.

─────── · · ·

Later that day, everyone was just sitting around the living room, back to where it all began. It was as normal as it could possibly get.

Most of them were on their phones, although you suspected some of them had the early videos on repeat. Sanzu and kept showing Mochi something and both just kept chuckling. Kokonoi kept checking something about the stock market and grumbling at his screen, angrily typing nonstop. Takeomi was doing the newspaper crossword puzzle and kept asking Ran some of the modern-day stuff he didn’t get. Kakucho had been in the kitchen for a while, and finally, Rindou and Mikey playing thumb fights.

Normalcy… how unusual.

“It’s actually nice… you know?” You interrupted the abnormal calmness surrounding you. “I’m in no way a flimsy thing and you all always move me around like I weigh nothing,” you voiced out your thoughts. You were laying on the couch, just thinking, truth spilling without meaning to, but alas it was out.

“The hell you mean?” Sanzu instantly snapped, throwing his phone to Mochizuki who barely had time to catch it. Bonten’s number two walked up to your resting spot and climbed on top of you. “I hope you don’t mean what I think you mean.”

“Haru…” Your wide eyes stared up at Sanzu, pink hair falling like curtains around your face.

His visceral reaction was like the spark that ignited the rest. Soon you heard the scraping sound of chairs being pulled. The lonely couch was now crowded with a bunch of angry men.

“Move,” Rindou growled as he pulled Sanzu away from you, almost throwing him off the couch. “What do you mean by that?” Now it was the youngest Haitani staring down at you with furrowed brows, and questioning your early statement. “Earlier? I almost sent you to a different fucking orbit.”

They all in their own way tried to make you understand—see what they see.

“Even Koko here can pick you up!” Ran added.

“Yeah,” Koko agreed but then realized the implications, “wait what are you trying to say?!”

Ah, this was more…normal… you giggled at the chaos that erupted around you. From the kitchen walked out Kakucho with a fresh baked bowl of cookies. Mikey didn’t have to be told twice, from the smell alone he knew what it was and took some for himself.

“Heard the commotion,” Kakucho sat next to your head on the couch, “how many times do we have to tell you that’s not important? You see us complain? No, right?” he didn’t let you answer as a cookie was already stuffed in your mouth.

“You have to see us fight to get even a second longer with you. That should tell you how much we want you,” Takeomi noted, pointing towards the Haitanis going against Sanzu and Koko a couple of feet away.

“This is why social media is hazardous,” Mochi announced, holding a cookie between his fingers.

“Body imag—” began Takeomi but he was cut short.

“It’s nothing. You’re just old.” Sanzu rebuked, interrupting his older brother just to spite him. forgotten was Rinodu who went to back up Ran.

The Akashi brothers continued on their intense debate, Mochi adding his opinion here and there as Kakucho kept feeding you and Mikey cookies.

[lacucarachapisser]

morning bliss colin zabel x f! reader

warning : SMUT but mostly fluff. cringe. unprotected piv. slightly somno. dub-con. um boobs playing. quick nut. morning make out. a little ass spanking. lazy sex. a bit of cockwarming if you squint. lmk if im missing any im really bad at warning. 1.2k wc.

a/n : i’ve never written smut before so, i am so sorry if it doesn’t landed well. and apologies if there are too many grammatical mistakes english isn’t my first.

“for god’s sake, mare. it’s five in the morning.”

colin is on the phone. he complains while massaging his both temples by pressing the fingertips to the line of his eyebrows. you can hear his morning voice jumbled up with annoyance, though he managed to kept his voice down. he told you just last night how exhausted he was because work had been kicking him right in the ass over and over. working overtime, bringing it home, receiving calls in unusual hours, odd schedules, like hell they could stop.

“well… wouldn’t that be a perfect alibi? honestly it can wait,”

what is he talking about? he wakes up and sat at your shared bed, listening to mare’s voice over the phone. it is indeed still dark outside, you haven’t even feel the morning seep through the drapes. both of you slept back-to-back last night, and you still in your position, laying on your left side as your back facing him. there were time when you had to eavesdrop his phone call unintentionally.

you kept your eyes shut closed, pretending to sleep and didn’t bother to flip around because thus only makes him feel guilty— speaking from experience. he doesn’t want to wake you up early. so you stay still, breathing slowly like you always did when you’re asleep.

“give me 30 minutes okay? i need to—“

he stops and you bet that the other person on the phone is interrupting him.

“fine, 20 minutes. whatever.” the call ended in one click and a long exhales come out from colin’s mouth. “fuck me,”

you rarely catch colin saying cuss word in loathed way, and that makes you indeliberately flinch.

he throws his head back to the pillow, hand placing the phone back to the drawer and turns his head towards you. he had a hard time deciding whether he should get up from bed unnoticed or straightly wake you up because he running out of time. and deciding does running out his time.

he scoops your body, spooning you as his hand gently tracing along your waist and the other slipped beneath your underarm. oh does he misses you so much. it was irrational worry that dwelled within him every time he thought about the guilt. mainly because his jobs always interfering his time with you.

“baby..” he breathes in your hair, whispering and sounds extremely stressed, and needy? he hums, voices vibrate in your ears.

you didn’t say anything as you let him hold you from behind, chest pressed against your back. his muscular hand starts rubbing your tummy, up to your chest and squeezing your clothed boobs. and those act itself caught you off guard, which of course made your eyes arise in a wince. now you understand what colin have in mind. he was never a fan of a quick bite. he prefers having you hours, nice and intimate. but seems someone like to try something new to start the day.

“mmh…” your soul barely even there, despite the fact that you listen the whole time when he was on the phone.

he places soft kisses on your bare shoulder, up to your neck and to your jaw. he slightly get up with his elbow, hand still kneading your round breast, trying to get a better access to assault your tits.

as soon as your eyes turn to him, he quickly presses his lips on yours, busy adding some tongue, unbothered by the fact that you both have morning breath. perhaps since he aware of your mouth routine, you normally very much so strict with oral hygiene and you liked to force him to do so. skipping a coffee ritual and have a light bitter saliva to taste for each other wasn’t really that bad at all. and also, you love him anyway. gross? yeah love stinks.

his palm and digits playfully groping your tits, fingertips circle around the texture in the middle. those veiny hands always read your body like a bible, and yes he was greatly intrigued by the shape of your mind but also had a special fondness of your gorgeous chest.

“i promise it’ll be quick,” he turned you around so now you lay on your back, expeditiously spreading your four limbs, locking your arms above your head and found him already between your legs. he didn’t bother to remove your panties, he just brushes aside the fabric that covers your crotch and exposing your pussy.

like the quickest thief, the tip of his length already meet your fold, entering it deep just in case you can quickly adjust to his big hardened cock. he began to thrust you and adding some pace before start kissing and sucking on your collarbone. in between harsh breathing, you manage to speak, though your voice end up a bit squeaky. “what’s gotten into you..?”

his movement gets faster, abusing your throbbing cunt in belligerence way. was he mad at you? however when he looked at you in the eye, it somehow evoking a sense of benevolent yet miserable expression on his face. oh right… he just running out of his time.

with one deep thrust, he touched your most tender spot and you clenched him hard, a big wave of ecstasy start washing over you.

“c-col!”

he whimpered when the end of heavy orgasm hit and pushes himself deep in you for the last time, fill you up nice and full. “i’m sorry baby, i am so sorry. i need you so bad.”

he kisses you on the mouth and you reciprocate it with a lowkey soft smile draw on your face. you found it funny having him needy and thoughtless at the same time. oh your poor man. you hummed sluggishly, eyes closed as you try to recover from the feeling. he always put your first and perfectly fine if you say no. although seeing him being a little selfish like this was one of your top thing on your list.

“that was fast.” you whispered in between kisses.

“told you. i dont have much time,” he suddenly pull away and hide his face on your neck. “i hate my job,”

“no, you don’t,”

“yes i do hate my job,”

“don’t say that. you loved it.”

he peaks at your face and you give him your smile. “not as much as i love you,” he replies lazily.

“shut up,” those three sacred words is often popped up in every moment, somewhat you never expected at all. “how many minutes you have left now?”

“probably 13? 12?”

“do you think we can do another round?”

a sympathetic eye and frowned eyebrows shown on his face contour, lips curled into a ribbon of disappointment with melancholic wrinkles. a low grunt escape from his mouth and he probably think you’d get upset if he refuse. he was about to reply your question but instead you chuckle and wrapped your arm around his neck.

“i’m messing with you…” you poke his nose with your pointer “come on. let’s get up,”

he exhales and shakes his head “no. still too early for you, you go back to sleep.”

“don’t be silly. i need to change the sheets, come on.”

a soft laugh come out from his lips. he gives you last peck on your cheek before finally get out from the bed. you need to readjust your nightgown first before joining him.

“at least let me make you some coffee,” as you walk by passing him, heading to the door out, he smacked your ass and grinning in satisfaction. those makes you jolt but you honestly don’t give a damn. you used to colin’s habit.

“yes ma’am.” the smile on his face subsides slowly as soon as the sound of the clock catch his ears. only if he could just stop it because now he should be ready for duty might slap his ass at any time.

[duskandcobalt]

somebody else

Merry Christmas @whysterian ✨🎄

For your Christmas present, I’ve written something that’s both sweet and a little angsty which I feel fits the general vibe of Elriel as a pair anyway ☺️

I hope you enjoy this! Happy @acotargiftexchange

Xoxo your secret santa🎅🏽

1.6 words, no warnings ☺️

Elain giggled into the chest of the Shadowsinger the second his bedroom door had shut behind them.

She’d been making her way back to bed after dinner, tiptoeing down the hallway… purposefully slowing down as she passed the door of the room he was inhabiting for the night, in the hopes that he’d do exactly what he’d done. There was no fear, only absolute happiness that built inside her in the split second it had taken for the door to open and a strong arm to wrap around her middle and pull her inside. There’d been no indication that he’d be waiting for her, but she knew. In her heart, in her bones - Elain knew he’d be waiting and listening for the sound of her footsteps to pass by his door.

“Happy Solstice, pretty girl.” Azriel whispered, one scarred hand sliding up her neck until he could tilt her jaw upwards so her lips met his. He’d wasted no time, the wish just barely leaving his mouth before he kissed her. It was sweet, tender, thorough - his other hand placed safely on her waist, his fingertips easily stretching to press gently against the small of her back.

She’d waited all night for this. To have a moment alone - just the two of them - unbeknownst to anyone else. It had been a torturous evening of avoiding eye contact, of pretending like the two of them hadn’t spent the last few months sneaking off to dark corners of the house or hidden sections of the garden whenever they got the chance. After the debacle last solstice, Elain had thought everything was done between them before they’d even had a chance to start but she soon found out that she’d been wrong. With the full story in the open between them, she’d only come to realise that Azriel hated being told what to do… something that had worked very, very well in her favour because it meant that when he’d come back to Velaris a couple weeks after that ill-fated night, he’d made it quite clear that he was determined to have her.

“Happy Solstice, Azriel.” Elain smiled against his mouth, pressing a hand against his chest to put some semblance of space between them before things got out of control as it tended to whenever they were left alone too long. There’d be time for that later but there were other things that needed to be done first. “I’ve got something for you…”

“Oh yeah?” He tried pulling her closer but she peeled back again, shaking her head and laughing at the mischievous look in his eyes. She loved this side of him - the playful easiness he seemed to reserve just for her.

“Mhm,” Elain bit her lip, doing her best to concentrate on the task at hand and not on the look he was giving her lest she abandon everything and let him have his way with her. She reached into the hidden pocket of her dress, slipping out a small box she’d carefully wrapped late last night and holding it out to him.

“Didn’t have to get me anything…” Azriel smiled, carefully taking the box from her and weighing it in his palm. “Earbuds, headache tonic… what will this year bring, I wonder?”

Elain sighed, impatient as Azriel took his time carefully unwrapping the present. Her nerves were getting the best of her.

“It’s really for us, more than anything. I mean it’s mine but for us to share…” her voice drifted off, quiet as Azriel picked up a small silver key and held it in between his fingers. There was a crease on his forehead as he looked at her, waiting for an explanation. She wanted to soothe away the line with her fingers.

“The bakery I like in town… there’s an apartment a couple floors above it. I… I bought it.”

“You bought an apartment?” Azriel asked, turning the key over in his hand. “For us?”

“It’s silly…” Elain shook her head, suddenly feeling like she’d made a massive mistake. She didn’t know what she’d been thinking when signed the papers and handed over the money. They’d spoken about one day having a place to themselves, where they wouldn’t have to worry about others seeing or hearing them and so she’d thought it would be a good idea. “I’m sorry, I just… it’s getting crowded here and I thought it’d be nice to have a place of my own. Somewhere we could go every now and then.”

“Hey,” Azriel stepped towards her, reaching forward to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “It’s not silly. It’s just… it’s really going to put my present to shame.”

Azriel chuckled as he pulled a small pouch from his back pocket and handed it to her.

Elain took it, opening it to find an ornate hair pin fashioned into the shape of wild flowers. It was beautiful, the tiny stones glimmering in the dim light of the room.

“That feels silly now,” he laughed, slipping the hair pin from her hand and then reaching behind her to wind her hair up before securing it in place. He looked her over, his eyes slowly scanning over her face and her newly exposed throat. “Perfect.”

“It’s lovely, thank you.” Elain wound her arms around his neck, leaning in to kiss his cheek.

“Shall we go see this apartment now?” Azriel asked just as she felt him drag the key he still held up the length of her spine.

“Can you winnow us there?” She asked, heat and excitement building in her belly with each passing second.

…

Azriel could barely stand to be in the room this year, once again relegated to standing in the shadowed doorway as the festivities unfolded before him.

There was no excitement this year. No anticipation of sweeping a certain sister into his room after everyone else had gone to bed - happily drunk and bellies full, their newly acquired gifts scattered in front of the fireplace where they’d be collected the next morning. That anticipation was in the past. Now, he watched as his closest friends enjoyed the night. Watched as the love of his life sat still as a stone next to the male that had won in the end.

Azriel had fooled himself for the better part of three years. Had somehow tricked himself into thinking that for once, he could have what his heart desired despite all the extenuating factors against him. He’d thought that this would be it, that he’d finally been chosen. That he’d finally gotten the life that he’d always secretly dreamed of having. Of a female to come home to. A female to cherish. Someone that understood him.

The rug had been pulled out from under him one evening when Elain had stood in front of him uncharacteristically stone faced as she told him they couldn’t keep doing what they’d been doing and that it was time for her to accept what the Cauldron had planned for her.

A life away from him. A life with a son of Autumn.

He hadn’t been able to say anything. Hadn’t even really tried to argue that she was making a mistake. How could he when far in the back of his mind, a small part of him always knew that this had always been too good to be true.

For months now, he’d avoided her. Had been able to drown himself in work - throwing every bit of time and energy he had into his reports and assignments in order to keep his mind off of everything he’d lost because if he thought about it too much, he’d go crazy. Much like he was now.

He’d tried. He really had. He’d tried to not watch her from the second she walked into the River House with her arm looped through Lucien’s. But it was a lost cause because just like the very first time he’d met her, she’d drawn his attention with little to no effort. She was beautiful. Ethereal. There could be a thousand females in a room and Azriel would find her within seconds. He’d been quietly observing her all night, making sure she seemed okay. Making sure she seemed happy.

Elain on the other hand had refused to even look in his direction after an initial polite greeting and he’d given up after a while, had taken to sulking in the shadows as he nursed a tumbler of whisky and avoided making eye contact with Nesta. That sister in particular had an uncanny ability to read him when no one else could and he hated it.

It wasn’t until he’d overheard the tail end of a conversation that he dared to look at Elain again.

“I have to head back to the Spring Court tonight, unfortunately.” Lucien had said.

“Oh, what a shame,” Feyre pouted. “I was looking forward to spending time with my sister before you two wed.”

“Well,” Elain’s voice pierced Azriel’s heart. It’d been so long since he’d heard that gentle voice so clearly. Paired with Feyre’s reminder of the upcoming mating ceremony, it was like a dagger to the heart. “Lucien’s going back but I… I thought I’d stay behind but I… I, um… I’ve arranged for a place to stay in town for a couple nights so that I’ll be out of your way but I’ll come visit during the day.”

Azriel’s breath halted as Elain’s gaze lifted suddenly, her eyes meeting his for one searing moment before she returned her attention to Feyre who’d squealed at the news and had immediately set to planning what they could do with their time together.

He could’ve been imagining it - the invitation he thought he might’ve seen in that short glimpse they’d shared. They’d always had a knack for communicating their thoughts and needs with few words actually spoken aloud. But it wasn’t until Elain stood abruptly, heading for the kitchen, that he caught a glimpse of the pin nestled into her dark curls. A delicate bunch of wildflowers that was as familiar as the key he swore he could feel warming his skin from where it still resided in his back pocket.

[hxlxnaaa]

𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐬

★ synopsis: unrequited love manifests itself as a beautiful disease

★ character: zayne

★ cw: first-person pov, university au, hanahaki disease, ANGST

★ word count: 2k

★ a/n: zayne my angsty king. who needs happy endings am i right??? (i'm so sorry)

Google Search: Why am I throwing up flowers??????

Hanahaki Disease (花吐き病 (Japanese); 하나하키병 (Korean); 花吐病 (Chinese)) is a disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings, or when the victim dies. The flowers can now be surgically removed, but all feelings towards the beloved will dissipate.

I already knew what it was. Everyone does. From the first tulip petal I coughed out while working on my essay, to the bouquet that came up from my lungs, covered in blood, just days later.

It was progressing rapidly as the days went on, and everytime I took a breath my lungs would constrict; the vines curling around them, crushing my breathing ability, and my heart.

At first, I tried to ignore it. I’d go out with friends and attempt to go to class, but I felt embarrassed. Ashamed, even. I could feel their eyes on me, watching as I tried to smother my chokes in the middle of a lecture, only to have to dismiss myself to throw up a rose in the hallway.

It’s not like I could go through campus and see him, the one who gave me this. I ignored his calls, ignored his texts. Not that they came often anyways.

‘Are you okay?’

No, Zayne, do I look like I’m okay? I’m sitting in a pile of flower petals and my own blood on my bathroom floor.

Zayne. He was my childhood best friend, and growing up it always felt like I had to fight for an ounce of his attention. He was top of the class in highschool, popular with all the girls for being smart, stoic, and undeniably sexy. Not once did he entertain any of them, and it made them want him so much more. I was excited for college, thinking I could finally have him to myself, without feeling like I was sharing him with the whole school and his extra curriculars. I knew realistically he’d still lack the time for me, studying biology to go to med school, become a doctor, follow his dreams; and I would never be one to step in the way of that. I knew my place. I was just his best friend. I was aware there were boundaries I shouldn’t cross.

At least, until now.

I remember the moment it hit me.

After days, weeks of begging him, I had finally convinced the introverted, brooding nerd to go to a stupid frat party. For the laughs, I had said, follow the college stereotypes. ‘You only live once, Zayne!’ He humored me, I’ll be grateful for that. Giving it barely an hour (and a few free drinks), he quickly got sick of everything, inviting me outside. We sat outside on the driveway, the cool air a breath of freshness compared to the stuffy, sweat smell from inside.

A dumb rap song played inside, and Zayne looked over to me.

“Slow dance with me.”

I smiled and rolled my eyes, knowing it was the alcohol talking and not him. He’d regret this in the morning, and I’d get a stern talking to.

He stood, reaching his hand out, narrowing his eyes. I took his hand, figuring the least I could do was indulge in this moment. For once, his attention was fully on me.

I laughed as we swayed together, a muffled remix of a shitty rap song as our only background music. Looking up at him, I questioned when he had grown up so much. His once round, soft face with chubby baby cheeks had matured into a sharp jawline and high cheekbones I thought about grazing my hand over. Behind his eyes wasn’t a childish glint anymore, and I wondered how long ago that disappeared.

Pressing my face into his chest, I only felt us. One of his arms around my waist, the other holding my hand that was pressed against his shoulder. My free hand clutched his black jacket, like he would disappear into thin air, and my grasp was the only thing keeping him here.

To a passerby, it would’ve looked like a movie; two college kids dancing together outside of a frat party, holding onto each other like it’s the end of a world. In the movie, the two best friends would confess to each other the next day. The boy would rush to the girl's door, with a bouquet of flowers, gasping for air, saying “I love you, I love you, I love you, I never realized that I did.”

But only I realized. Only I realized I loved him.

Zayne never showed up on my doorstep the day after he walked me home that night. The only flowers I got were the ones that filled my lungs.

I refused to speak to him. I wasn’t mad at him, why would I be? It was my fault for forgetting my boundaries. For forgetting the rules. For thinking I had a chance since all the little highschool girls no longer followed him around like lost dogs. For once thinking that I was no longer his side character, for thinking maybe I could be his love interest in his story.

What would I say to him if we did speak? I couldn’t hide what was growing inside my chest. I couldn't hide my split lips from the thorns, or my scratchy voice. The dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep, too busy catching up on work from missed classes and not getting a break from coughing or vomiting. Tell him I was sick? He’d scold me for not taking care of myself, that I need to rest and eat properly. I didn’t want to hear it, scolding me for something he caused. His concern would only grow when I would accidentally cough up a flower in front of him.

Would he ask who I loved? Or would he just look right through me and tell me I needed to get the surgery to fix all of this. ‘Nobody is worth that kind of illness’ He’d say bluntly.

I knew I couldn’t face him. Not knowing if he even cares, yet knowing that the way I look at his face is different from the way he looks at mine. How he sees his future with someone who isn’t me.

“What are you going to do?” I was hanging out with a friend from one of my classes, Tara. She was the only person I felt like I could confide in about all of this.

We were hanging out at one of the campus coffee shops when I told her. It was a good day for my lungs, after almost overdosing on decongestants and ibuprofen.

“I’m not sure.” Twirling my spoon in my cup, I avoided her eyes. “It’s not like I can get the surgery. I can’t afford it.”

She looked me up and down, and I felt as if she could see into my soul. She did, Tara was like that.

“Can your pockets not afford it, or can you not afford it?”

Tara was right. I could afford the surgery, my university healthcare covered the surgery since students caught the disease so often;

But my heart couldn’t afford it.

It had gotten so used to loving Zayne, it would feel empty without the compassion for him. I feared I may act differently, lacking all love for him. Would he even notice?

I quickly made up my mind, looking out the window - seeing the person I dreaded the most.

Zayne sat outside in a car on the other side of the street, and I could only tell it was him if I stared hard enough. He was holding the hands of a girl I had seen around campus. Zayne had briefly mentioned her a few times, talking about the assignments they’d work on together, and I never thought too much of it.

He brought their hands up to his mouth, kissing the back of her hand, and each of her knuckles. His face was gentle, a look I had never seen on him before. She giggled, and I wondered what it would be like to be her. To have him stare at me with all the love in the world, to be able to feel his soft pink lips I had stared at so many times, wishing to just touch, to just feel. To be on the receiving side of his care, his compassion, no more blunt harsh responses and stern looks.

“Hey-”

I turned back to Tara, and coughed up a flower on the table, and I choked back a sob. Tears threatened to poor, but I couldn’t embarrass myself more than I had with the bloody peony in front of me. She came around the table and hugged me, and I mumbled through quivering lips, “Can you take me home please?”

That night the girl had made it official that she and Zayne were dating. All the pictures on social media, the hearts that their friends commented on each other's posts. A disgruntled feeling made my chest spasm, any time I’d post a picture of Zayne he’d make me take it down immediately.

The morning of my surgery, I got up and put on my favorite sweater Zayne had gotten me for my sixteenth birthday.

“I got it for you last month when you stared at it in the shop’s window.” He smiled when he saw my excitement, one of the rare moments I could see his lips turn upward.

On my walk to the bus stop, I saw him sitting there. Once he looked up and saw me, he stood.

“Where have you been?” Zayne looked at me and frowned. I suppressed the immediate urge to roll my eyes.

“I never see you around campus. You’re never in your usual spots, and I texted you. I was supposed to help you study. Are you still attending your classes?” Even after not seeing each other for weeks, he still found a way to shame me. His eyes hard, lips pressed together into a tight line, I wasn’t even sure he was happy to see me.

The bus pulled up.

“Are you going to take the bus?” I asked him, avoiding his gaze.

He shook his head, “No, I’m waiting for-”

“Yeah, okay. I have to go.”

“Wait,” I turned around to him. It had begun to snow, so the small flakes sparkled on his head in the early morning light like glitter. He always loved winter, the snow.

He stared at me for a few seconds before shaking his head, changing his mind.

I nodded. “I’ll see you, Zayne.” Saying his name felt like acid on my tongue.

Turning around without taking another look at him, I boarded the bus.

Two days later, when I finally came home from my surgery, the only difference I could tell at first was that my chest didn’t hurt anymore. I could finally breathe again without feeling like I was choking on air. The doctors gave me a bag of all the flowers that they collected out of me, and at first I refused to look at them.

Yet as soon as I got home, I felt compelled to sit on my floor and sort through them.

I made piles of each flower, twirling them in my fingers before placing them in their designated places. Some had long vines that I used to tie them together into a crown.

After I finished, I spotted a jacket under my bed. I pulled it out to see it was the black jacket he wore the night we danced together outside that stupid party.

I took a deep breath of it, wishing I would feel the same way I did that night;

But I felt nothing.

It was now just a jacket. He was now just Zayne.

I put it on, wrapping it tightly around my body. I nestled the flowers along my head like a crown of thorns.

Looking at the girl in the mirror, staring at her with her blood stained flower crown, I broke down.

(divider by cafekitsune)

[sad-girl-hours23]

Actually made some progress (one whole scene lol) on my untitled sickfic today (trying to have it completed by Christmas).

Please clap.

Sharing so I can stay accountable

It's rough/largely unedited (she says, as if she's ever edited anything in her life).

Buck wakes drenched in sweat and wracked with chills, the sheets he’d kicked off during the night tangled at the end of the bed. His head feels stuffed with cotton and the sunlight filtered through his sheer curtains is especially bright this morning. Buck squeezes his eyes shut and groans.

Tommy stirs next to him, but doesn’t wake. Buck takes the opportunity to gaze at him, to commit as much of him to memory as possible. He’s wrapped in the comforter, face relaxed, lips slightly parted, and he’s making quiet, snuffling noises. 

Buck’s grateful that he usually wakes up before Tommy, so that he can drink in the sight of him. It’s become his new morning ritual. This time around, he’s trying to catch all that he missed before, all that he took for granted. 

Tommy opens his eyes and catches Buck staring. A soft smile overtakes his face. Tommy closes the distance between them, cradling Buck’s face and kissing him. He frowns then and places the back of his hand to Buck’s forehead before he can stop him. “You’re really warm.”

Buck forces a laugh.“You know me, I’m like a furnace when I sleep.” Then he rolls out of bed so fast he catches a case of vertigo. 

 “Maybe you should stay home today.” He reaches for Buck, trying to get him back into bed. “I’ll tell my captain I can’t come in.”

“What? No. Tommy, I’m fine. I’m going to work. You’re going to work. And tomorrow, we’re going to Joshua Tree for our camping trip. Just as planned.”

Buck can’t look at him. He knows the face Tommy is making and if he catches his eye he’ll cave and he’ll crawl back into bed with him and fall back asleep for hours. Not because he’s sick, he’s just a little tired still. Besides, Tommy in bed is always an irresistible sight.

“Baby, we can postpone the trip. The stars aren’t going anywhere.”

“You can’t postpone a six-month anniversary, Tommy. Which isn’t necessary anyway, because I’m fine.” Buck grabs his overnight bag, slings it over his shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? I’m gonna take a shower downstairs.”

Tommy frowns again, but then he nods. 

After a shower and fresh clothes, Buck feels considerably more human. It isn’t until he’s in his jeep that he realizes he never made his protein smoothie. He looks at his phone. He technically has enough time, but he doesn’t want to put in the effort. He’s really not all that hungry anyway, he’ll just grab a protein bar at the station. His phone chimes.

Tommy: Are you sure you’re okay?

Buck groans. Before he can reply, another text comes in.

Tommy: You didn’t kiss me goodbye 🙁

Buck sends him a quick apology and a promise to make it up to him. 

[marilynthornhilllover]

An Important announcement ⭐️

So as some of you may know, though I’m not quite sure if I’ve said this before but before I was a writer on here I was an editor (still do sometimes). And I found out about tumblr from a friend @slut4milfsss who’s not active anymore :(. Basically she used her work piece for the intro in one of her edit and I was like “ I need to know where I can read that” and she directed me over here. And honestly at first I had absolutely no business or urge to write fics…. Until there were barely any Marilyn thornhill fanfics on here at the time, hence the reason for my username so I began writing my own fics and over time I eventually started writing on different characters/fandoms.

I’ve loved writing since I was in elementary school but my love really grew in high school, and I loved literature and I had that fattest crush on my professor Ms. Lane who’s now Mrs. Cambridge ( don’t worry guys she knows and she’s honestly fine with my little story lmao). Growing up with parents who had money wasn’t always the nicest experience, most of the time I used writing as a coping mechanism with my depression and anxiety.

Graduating high school a bit early,and then before going to college I took a gap year to really decide what I wanted to do with my life and I decided whole heartedly on psychology! But anyway cut the long story short, I’ve had this app for 2 1/2 years which is crazy because it feels like yesterday when my writing started getting recognition. I’m honestly so proud of the work I did and the friends and amazingly talented and supportive writer buddies I’ve come across but unfortunately I’m not 18, 21 and 23 anymore next year (2025) I’m gonna be 25….😭😔. Time flew so much! I literally remember my high school days, college days and university days as well as my gap year in London so well.

I’m a clinical psychologist and in June I did my final course exams and I’m now officially an badge clinical psychologist with my own office in NYC and let’s just say I love my job it has a deeper meaning behind it and waking up everyday and getting the privilege to meet and therapy patients struggling with their MH and working along side some of the best doctors has always been my dream. Recently I’ve started another short course work in neuroscience and it’s so intriguing. Trust me wasting your 20’s away in degrees is not boring it’s worth it.

With that being said. This year wasn’t the best or easiest year for me. Don’t even get me started on 2023.I’ve got a lot of good things going for me right now, new friends, for the summer I traveled to L.A, I went to one the the VP’s rally where I got a picture with her, new experiences and most of all I think I may have met the love of my life! <3. And now going into 2025 I need space and a little breather. I wanna do some new stuff, I wanna travel and I wanna be happy with friends and family and work on some personal relationships and most importantly myself.

With that being said I will be taking a break from tumblr and taking a step back from this account and writing in general . I don’t know when I’ll be back or if I’ll ever be be back (that’s not decisive as yet for now I promise it’s just a break) I’ve taken breaks before, especially before my CPB exams and some random anon people decided to bash me in my own anon box as if I don’t have a life of my own….. but anywaysss I know I have a bunch of requests in my inbox which I will try to get through while I’m away along with CHP 10 the finale of my lady d series. I do love writing for you guys and this app has been my safe place and just a place of peace, smiles, experiences and growth, and I don’t know why I feel like I’m out growing my jacket. But I do want to focus on certain areas in my life now before I make decisions I don’t want to. I’ll always come back and reblog and share my love and support once in a while so don’t worry.

So To all my favorite writers @regalbootie @daydream-cement @prettygreenpills @littledollll @cissyenthusiast010155 @v3nusxsky @d4rkhold @wifeofnatasharomanoff @milfsloverblog @brienneoftarth1989 @willalovexx @daddy-heather-dunbar @togrowoldinv @kararomanoff @harksness @weemssapphic @storiesofsvu2-0 @schemmentigfs @ottiliaxwritten @ilovehugslikealotalot @m1lfsh4ke @gamma-rae-bursts , more in numbers than I can ever tag ( sorry if I didn’t tag you! I literally can’t remember the rest) , sorry for the random tag as well guys 😭☹️ but I do wanna say a small heart felt thank you, not only for being the most generous, genuine, kind, supportive, authentic, optimistically talented writers I’ve ever encountered but for just doing what you do, being a writer can be so hard and it takes endless courage but you guys manage to come through regardless. I remember reading some of you guys work and was in constant awe, most of my motivation and will power to write and be inspired came from you guys. And to my mutuals…. @willalovexx @luisa323 @milkiedimitrescu @m1lfsh4ke @gamma-rae-bursts @mymiraclewitch @kmaxmadness (and again sorry if I forgot anyone) Words cannot describe how much I love you guys. My love pours out beyond words, I will always cherish the continuous amount of love, generosity and support you all have given me. Especially the love you showed to me in times of anon hate and towards my fanfics. I truly did enjoy my time on this app all the fun times 😂 and most definitely the comments. I’ve made so many friends on here like Heidi who deactivated her account sadly but we are still so close and talk everyday on instagram.

I forbid any tears from this post!😤 but I really do love you guys and I will always think of each and everyone of you. And I wish nothing but the best for all you!🤍🌸. Remember to stay true to yourselves, go out with friends, fall in love, do silly things, give yourself a reason, do what makes you happy! Always…. And please do take breaks. Don’t write your life away when there’s so many amazing opportunities, experiences and people waiting. The world is waiting, the life than you want is waiting. Merry Christmas to those who celebrate, wishing everyone a very heart felt holidays and happy new year!🎆🎊

— sincerely, your best friend.

[mattsgold]

sorry

warnings: angst, arguing, swearing

synopsis: matt and y/n’s day starts off fine and happy but when he comes back from work that all suddenly changes

matt and y/n

enjoy reading!!

7:42 am

the day started off like any other day…

you woke up in the master bedroom of the shared apartment that you and matt bought to get ready for class and looked over to matt still sleeping. you lay some freshly washed clothes on the bed and go to take a shower. walking out in a towel, you change your clothes and head out into the kitchen to make coffee and quick breakfast for yourself and matt when he wakes up before you go. suddenly, you hear tussling from the bedroom.. matt rushes out into the kitchen with his phone “I gotta go to the warehouse, the merch came in and nick and chris want to hand sign the first 1000.” he says. “okay, I’ll be heading to class too, I’ll catch a train. do you want me to pack your breakfast for you?” you say. “yes please, thank you sweet girl” he sighs in relief. you pour his coffee into a travel cup and put his bagel into a container, you hand it over to him with a kiss. “have a good day matt, i love you!” you say. “thanks baby, have a good day and i love you too!” matt yells before closing the door. you look down at your phone only to realize it’s already 8 and you don’t have time to eat. you grab your sweater, shoes and bag then rush out the door forgetting about the dishes piled up in the sink and the mess you made.

12:57 pm

finally you were back home

you professor was a total dick and he gave you a terrible remarks about your hard work. anyways, it was finals season so you hard lots to study. you went straight past the messy living room and to the shared master bedroom to study at your desk.

6:35 pm

your phone beeped with a notification from matt.

you put down your pen to open you phone to see “coming home now.” which was a little weird because matt usually isn’t that dry, but it’s fine.. maybe he’s tired. you reply with a thumbs up and put your phone down. you decide to take a break from studying and make dinner for you and your boyfriend. you head to the kitchen and boil some water to make pasta.

when you almost done plating it, matt unlocks and opens the door, then slams it shut… maybe he’s tired didn’t realize he did that. “hi matt!” you say from the kitchen hoping that he can hear you from the hallway. no response. you bring the plates with the hot pasta onto the table, set them down and go to find matt. he’s in the bedroom changing his clothes so you decide to give him some privacy and don’t barge in. “matt? dinners ready okay?” you say through the door. “m’kay.” matt says. you go and sit at the table waiting for him. when he comes out, he grabs the plate and goes to sit on the couch in the living room.

oh, it’s fine you thought. so you got up and sat next to him on the couch. “hey baby, how was you day?” you asked. “fine” he said, mindlessly scrolling on his phone. you peered your head over his shoulder to see what he was watching out of curiosity but was left hurt when he abruptly got up and left to go to the bedroom. you took yours and his plate and put it on the counter then left to go see what was making matters so upset.

you walk in to see matt in bed already having changed out of his day clothes into pyjama pants. you also changed you clothes into one of matts shirts and your panties then got into bed. matts back was turned to face you coldly and so you decided to try and break the ice by putting your arm around his waist. he quickly turns. “the fuck are you doing?” “can’t you just leave me alone for once, you don’t have to be clinging to me all the time y’know” he huffs. “what, I’m so confused matt.” “what’s wrong” you say. “oh please, stop trying to be naive, it’s not cute when your so fucking lazy.” “you barely take care of the apartment. the dishes are piled in the sink and your work is all over the place!” “the desk, the island, the coffee table. it’s fucking pathetic.” he yells. “matt, I’m sorry.” “ive been so busy with finals and studying” you say. “save it. go, go to the guest room.” he says sternly “no matt baby come on what’s bothering you?” you ask. “you, now go.” he says coldly.

so you do, you decide to give him space and go to the guest room.

3:32 am

you stare are the alarm clock with teary eyes wondering if he really meant that you were lazy and pathetic. little did you know, matt was also up, bearing the consequences of his actions. matt had gotten so used to sleeping with either your hand or head on his chest that tonight he realized he couldn’t sleep without it. guilt was gnawing at him, to put his pride aside for the relationship that might be on the line. so with a heavy heart, matt got up from the bed and walked over to the guest room. he opened the door to find you sobbing and shivering, he felt a pang of guilt in his heart knowing that it was because of his actions. he picks you up of the bed, “matt?” you say with a groggy voice. “don’t worry sweet girl im here, not going anywhere.” matt says. they make it to the shared master bedroom and matt places you on the bed with care then gets in too and pulls the covers over the two of you. “sweet girl, im so sorry, I didn’t mean any of what I said. I was just having a shit day- not a reason to take it out on you though. the manufacturer for the merch got the orders wrong and there was a whole heated argument with me and chris, again no excuse to take it out of you. im so sorry for yelling at you, i promise i wont do it again.” matt says. “baby im so sorry” he sighs. “it’s okay matt, just promise me that you’ll talk to me if you have a hard day. you don’t have to push me away, im here to help you cause i care about you.” you say. “yeah sweetheart, i promise. im so sorry for ignoring you during dinner, it tasted really good though, I’ll make it up to you i swear.” he says. “don’t worry matt. I love you.” you say with affection. “I love you more sweet girl, thank you for being so understanding with me” says matt.

from then on, matt and y/n resolved problems and arguments by cooling off and then talking to each other because they knew that they could get through anything together.

dividers by @bernardsbendystraws 💗

hope you guys enjoyed my first fic!! see you soon!!

[didalexiabreakupwitholgaisback]

thank you for your post haha i feel crazy seeing people dismissing real criticism of Viv literally for what? Like do you guys think shes exempt from mistakes? That shes mena woman and queens white saviour with her selective activisms acts?? Just dense people genuinely

anyways I also wanted to share this really interesting thread by former Chelsea player who when asked to sign Viv beloved petition asked for the genocide to be brought up first to radio silence from all parties

https://x.com/hedvig_lindahl/status/1848440227917906025?s=46

thanks anon! 🫶 listen, i try not to get too personal on this blog, but i will here. i don't want to clown on players or fans, but to give my perspective on activism and what i view as helpful or harmful. and people should really listen to why so many arab and muslim women are upset with her statement and why we are not just bitter arsenal fans or whatever people are saying to dismiss our concerns.

i am a gay woman of arab/muslim heritage in my 30s living in a 'western' country whose family emigrated a long time ago to settle here. i have dealt with racism, homophobia, xenophobia, and islamophobia my entire life. i will never be spanish enough or arab enough or white enough or whatever enough, and frankly, i have stopped caring. 💅

therefore, my views of human rights and activism are very much centered on my own life experiences. and that is what i am sharing with you all! 🙏

people talk about lgbt rights in arab and muslim countries as if queer arabs and muslim do not exist. hello, we exist! 👋 in these countries and the diaspora as a whole. and that we should silence our voices in favour of a privileged gay white woman just doesn't sit right with me.

so my perspective on viv's 'statement' doesn't treat it as existing in a vacuum but rather places it in the context of what we have come to view as the stereotype of the 'reel' bad arab.

when it comes to selective activism, i think about all the depictions of arabs and muslims in media. go to netflix and pull up any show. we are almost always the gangster, terrorist, 'bad guy.' there are studies as to what this does to condition society as always seeing arab/muslims as the other, the barbarian, the backwards.

the same goes with mainstream journalism. when mahsa amini was murdered by the iranian regime for not wearing her 'hijab' properly, that's what gained worldwide news (as it should!) and gained broadstream feminist support, but what about the fact that europe is passing hijab bans, burqini bans, and preventing women from covering to do their jobs. where is that coverage and where are the same feminists with the same energy?

when every piece of activism associated with arabs and muslims (unfortunately by many white women) is negative, negative, negative, that our countries and people are terrible backwards places and it's okay to look the other way when we are killed in bombings and in genocides because we are evil, right? then yes, the constant pile on without mentioning the other side is harmful. because not only does it not change anything in society for us, it causes even more backlash, racism, and hate towards us. that's what these types of one-sided statements do. and arab/muslim activists are left with double the work, at home and in our heritage countries. because we are actually trying to change conditions for the better.

why is it okay only to criticise us, our countries, and our people, but not speak up on our behalf? and when the people who do speak up in favour and support of us get backlash and blacklisted, that's what is acceptable? are we are not people worthy of living and worthy of respect? do we not deserve empathy? or should we always 24/7 cater to white fragility over our own needs? 🙏

this is a case of intersectionality and i understand very well the pros and cons of what the anthropology and sociology communities have termed 'white feminism.' and i would encourage everyone to take the time and read about intersectional feminism, positive allyship, and what it means to help communities of colour around the world. because there are homegrown grassroots efforts and allies who are doing good work to actually *improve* the status of women and minorities in saudi arabia! and we should continue to support *these* efforts and not empty words 🫶

and many kudos to former swedish player hedvig lindahl who is probably one of the only female footballers who is using her platform to continuously (not just one tweet or throwaway lines in a column) bring awareness to the genocide in palestine. but i also have to recognise english former player gary lineker and lise klaveness, egil olson, and the norway football federation for their efforts too! impressed by the scandis 🫡

[muninnhuginn]

Mun!!! :0 I wanted to ask if you watched the new Link Click op and if so, what are your thoughts on it? And also for season 3 in general if you have any expectations for it

Hi! I've seen it, yes. Managed to watch before work, but not had the chance to properly sit down and digest it all before now. Going to put my thoughts on it all below.

Some things to keep in mind: I've watched the opening and I've skimmed the Tumblr tag a few times since then, but I've not gone deep dive or anything. So if I say something that's been said loads already that's probably because I've not seen everyone else saying it yet. The other thing is that I may comment on the lyrics of the song, but not in relation to potential foreshadowing, given bai sha jaws have been pretty clear they're not really privy to any more info than we are as the audience.

With that out of the way, let's go.

We start with the focus on the camera, which transitions to the basketball court. The use of the feather to carry the transition is one of those "which could mean nothing" details, because the use of feathers is pretty prominent in some of the official art pieces.

Next, Cheng Xiaoshi takes Lu Guang's hand and pulls his past self onto the court. The implications of this are pretty obvious (the 'current' Lu Guang is left unsaturated as his past and Cheng Xiaoshi are held in soft light; Lu Guang doesn't feel like he belongs in this treasured past), but I like the extra little aspect of the basketball pitch being the setting because it means the fencing acts as prison framing. And the prison framing is perfect for the line "trapped in a rewind".

Lonely road, long shadow, it's the heat of the summer and he's small against the backdrop of the street. Stick a pin in this one because we'll return to it later.

And over to fake London and its red doubledeckers. Xia Fei looking out when something (someone?) catches his attention. We're then shown Lu Guang in front of one of Xia Fei's posters, but my instinct is that what Xia Fei is looking at/for is unrelated. Anyway, Lu Guang still desaturated, still not fitting in.

Heh. No comment. (Although, tangent time! I've not been able to pause fast enough to catch the 'afternoon tea' sign but I feel the need to point out something after skimming past some posts that have mentioned it. 'Afternoon tea' isn't a drink. It's more a meal? An event? Say, sometime between lunchtime and dinnertime (I won't confuse things further by referring to the latter as teatime here) it'd be a get together where people would have scones and hot drinks and cake, etc. It's honestly low-key posh so it's far from a daily thing for most people, but it's the sort of thing you'd do for an extended family get together.)

Onto Liu Xiao reading some more Shakespeare. My Shakespeare knowledge is limited to Othello and Romeo and Juliet so... I'll leave this one to other people.

More Lu Guang being out of place.

Someone having tea (the drink) followed by a cipher I'm pretty sure people have already cracked:

Then onto this character:

Not gonna speculate too heavily at this point, but I know people are guessing she's either related to Xia Fei or *is* Xia Fei, given the shared eye and hair colour. I lean towards the former being more likely given the whole thing on the bus where Xia Fei's attention was seemingly caught by something/someone outside. Also, flower in the forefront, not 100% sure here but looks a bit like a yellow daffodil. Possibly a bit out of season for them if this is summer, but we don't care about that. We care about the meaning of a daffodil which is rebirth/new beginnings/all that jazz.

And back again to Lu Guang, who immediately reminds me of something I thought was cool earlier but forgot to mention. Lu Guang is entirely desaturated in this opening, yes, aside from the use of red. Is it original? No. Is it effective? Yes.

Puddle of blood and we meet again, dear white feather:

(The puddle of blood is actually completely still until the feather hits it, at which point *everything* in the scene lifts up).

And we're into full colour (light pouring in from the window) as we see photos (memories) fly around:

And these scenes focus on both Qiao Ling and Cheng Xiaoshi. First, them interacting with each other, then with the unseen narrator (presumably Lu Guang). They both brighten his world.

Lyrics of "there will be a fire when it all unfolds". Liking the 'unfolds' maybe callback there to op 1 Vortex and also the snow/ash/fire thing reminds me... so, like I said, not gonna use the lyrics themselves as foreshadowing, but the backdrop in the next section is fair game and there's a pretty clear fire there. I know it doesn't *have* to be a literal fire, but it was pretty striking so I think it's more likely than not there'll be some fire in Yingdu itself?

Flash through Lu Guang against different backgrounds. Won't spam them all, but we start with the photo studio transition through various Yingdu related backdrops then the clock backdrop (which ofc takes my mind straight back to Madoka) and back to the studio (this time ft. gun in gloved hand (possibly same gloved hand as the teacup earlier - possibly possibly vein, idc to speculate too hard on that point) and finally! We're back to the start of the opening and the basketball court. The whole scene is now washed out and Lu Guang matches it as he wipes his tears, before Cheng Xiaoshi grabs his arm and the colour floods back in.

(Also tangent again but "we fought the tides" as another lyrical callback to the season two ending, nice nice)

And speaking of returning to earlier in the opening, here's the road again:

All three of them running forwards as we pan up to the light in the sky.

And those are my thoughts. There's a lot I skimmed over either because it doesn't much interest me or because I'm pretty sure others'll have written essays already but yeah. Solid opening. Time to jettison my hopes before they get too high.

In terms of the second question, I've not been counting Yingdu as season three in my head, but I'm still genuinely unsure whether it "officially" counts or not. That said, my thoughts on a season three after Yingdu are so murky that I'm going to treat your question as though Yingdu is season three because then I can actually provide some kind of answer.

Basically, I've been thinking of Yingdu as something adjacent to Madoka episode eight - there to provide extra context but technically extraneous to the overall series. This is partly because of the different production layout behind the scenes, with a different studio and directing setup than the 'main' series. I'm basically expecting this arc to help raise the emotional stakes on Lu Guang's side of the situation without actually providing a resolution to the overarching plot.

[back-of-the-dodo]

I’ve got this jjk au where gojo ended up with mimiko and nanako but doesn’t defect & geto ends up with megumi (and tsumiki but I’ll get into that later) but still defects

gojo does full girl dad and raises the twins because he wants to give them the childhood that was taken away from them but they both end up becoming jujutsu sorcers anyway (but they end up in nobara & yuji’s year because *looks at smudged ink on hand* plot reasons)

but geto takes care of megs and t except that because of him tsumiki gets put under the coma curse way earlier (like a year into being under geto’s care) and this wasn’t on purpose on geto’s part but also he could have done a little more right to protect this kid so he’s sorta just stuck with megumi but because the two don’t have the same connection that the twins and geto did in canon, they don’t really care about each other and are more trying to make the best out of a bad situation. Megumi reminds geto too much of toji and megumi doesn’t actually have anyone anymore because tsumiki’s basically gone.

But Because of geto’s powers being so similar to megumi’s, megumi’s training progresses waay faster than in canon & is able to master a majority of his shikigami the jjk movie goes down the same way Except now, megumi’s pretty op but doesn’t have much allegiance to geto (now kenjaku) & when kenjaku pulls up and is like hey wanna help out with this end the world thingy megs is just kinda like “no I’m good” & when he meets itadori and itadori’s like no we don’t have to kill non-sorcerers?? Megumi becomes like a very uninspired ally

and he would have joined jujustu high but when he asked if they could wake tsumiki up & they couldn’t he kinda just say fuck it I’ll just leave then but anyways the rest of the au is just the main trying to befriend megumi

also he’s like a triple threat to gojo because bam he reminds you of the guy that killed you and also his son that you failed because toji asked you to do something about it but the other person you failed royally fucked this kid up so he’s a constant reminder of literally all of gojo’s failures nicely wrapped into one fucked up kid who’s never really known what it means to be loved by a family or have any normal friends

At the end of the day though gojo can’t change the past and had to accept that the best he can do now is support him but also teach him a bit of empathy because that wasn’t really geto “i killed my parents” suguru’s priority with megumi

also megumi wears traditional japanese garb like geto but covers his lower face because geto didn’t like seeing him (he didn’t tell megumi to do this, meg just did it himself to avoid as much conflict as possible) and he has long hair with no bangs that he usually keeps in a braid because geto enjoyed taking care of meg’s hair and given that that was kinda meg’s only soft connection w/ geto he unintentionally leans into it

I think the difficult (read: fun) part of this au is that geto isn’t like actively a worse person than he is in canon and any abuse he inflicts on megumi isn’t malicious or on purpose, he’s just a super emotionally unavailable highly unstable racist cult leader, but also his actions still have consequences so megumi’s got this fun little eldest daughter syndrome type thing going on you know?

[luck-of-the-drawings]

"And soda; runs off into the street..." "...and soda... is totally okay!"

[read-write-thrive]

the dead boy detective agency main four are a polycule on various points of the aromantic/asexual spectrum (in addition to their various sexualities), with the various side characters playing the roles of parental figures or talking stages. thank you for coming to my ted talk

[beebfreeb]

do you have any docs about the conlang and/or conscript? i just found your art and that immediately stood out as incredibly cool. i wanna write some funny stuff

The majority of my conlang stuff is written on graph paper held together with a paperclip or a spreadsheet file on my computer, so I do not have much easily accessible to share. Hm...

The vocabulary is currently... quite measly ever since I bulldozed everything and killed it all dead. So fleshing out vocabulary and whatnot is what I have to work on next. Grammar is similarly rudimentary but it was never intended to be very complex. A lot of information wouldn't be encoded verbally, only through pheromones and body language.

[raplinenthusiasts]

🎤 next song is dedicated to @jeongtokkie