#this is all just nonsense

[mangotelevision]

Jo9 simple backstories and power overviews

There's not a lot we know about the jury so all of this is very headcannon-y for warning. Some of this might clash with cannon so I'm leaning for this to be more so a part of my rewrite.

Zane Ro’meave (unofficial title: Zane the Undying)

Deemed leader of the Jury of Nine by Lorde Garte, his father, and instead of choosing a ninth guard for his squad he declared himself as worthy enough for the position. Still remains the ninth member of the Jury of Nine to this day and refuses to choose another as he believes one could not wield the power like he does, also refuses to take an official Jury title, feels as though it is beneath him and people should fear his name and his name alone.

Zane was never a guard, never took the oath and never trained as one, took the Jury Leader position per his fathers request after he finished his studies and became the High Priest of O'khasis. He has no knowledge or skill in weapons of any sort, physically he is weak, he uses others to accomplish the things he wants, his conviction and manipulation is his greatest advantage.

Has had the gift of foresight since he was a child, a magic that allows him to read people's thoughts and see fractions of moments of the future. He believes his powers come from the heavens and the stars, that he has a divine right to rule because of his power. He receives something akin to prophecies of the future, vague visions of what will come to pass, these visions have never been wrong- and he cannot change anything no matter how hard he tries. So he desires to seek out a magic that can, something that will provide him with the strength to alter fate.

(He can’t read Aphmau's mind and she has changed a future Zane saw, it was small and minute but it changed, she did something that resulted in his vision being wrong. Zane is never wrong. This is why he is so enamored with her, why he wants her dead- because she’s stronger than him, because she can change fate. It is a power he wants so desperately and if he can’t have it then no one can.)

Janus the Silver Death

Most everything about him is unknown, he is an enigma wrapped in a mystery. He hides behind his helm, and the only person to ever see under the mask and live to tell of it is Zane. Janus is thought to be an elf in some form, no one knows if he’s a full elf or half and he never answers when asked. He is the oldest member of the Jury, no one remembers how long he’s been there, and rumor has it that he’s been protecting the Lords of O'khasis for centuries. It is unclear if he was a guard or not before his Jury position.

Janus wields twin broadswords, one frost and one fire. Expert fighter, no one has ever seen him lose a fight. Although more often than not he relies on his Jury abilities. He is a necromancer of sorts, he possesses the ability to bring back those that his enemies have slain- the more people his opponent has killed, the harder they’ll fall.

It is unknown if he has powers that exist beyond those gifted to him through the Jury.

Katelyn the Fire Fist

Katelyn was sent to the Guard Academy after an “incident” per Lord Garte’s orders. No one is quite sure where she came from or what this incident was but it's largely thought to have been of a violent nature, something bloodied and bruised, although her early life is largely a mystery and she changes the story each time she’s asked. She was exceptional at the academy, a prodigy in combat, but after many disciplinary actions and detentions, Katelyn was expelled due to “excessive violence” and declared unfit to be a Guard. Was placed in the Jury Reserves, where she stayed until a member of the Jury had a more than suspicious death and she rose the ranks per Lord Garte’s orders. She stands as the youngest appointed Juror in recorded Ru’an.

Specializes in hand to hand combat and wields weighted adamantine gauntlets brazened with wyvern claws. Katelyn has magic that exists outside of her Jury powers, she’s a half-witch with a blood magic known as dragon's fire, which gives her the ability to use the fire of a wyvern while being virtually fireproof herself. She is not a traditional witch and cannot be taught any other spells or enchantments, all spells cast from her hands will always fail.

Her Jury power is that of absolute agility, possessing limitless agility, with her balance, bodily coordination, speed, reflexes and strength transcending virtually all other beings. With this power, time moves far slower to Katelyn and she has the endurance to keep it up for prolonged periods of time- no one has ever outpaced her in a fight.

Has a quick temper and doesn't work well with others, easily angered and her fire often burns too hot for her own good, oftentimes more than a little too eager to start a fight.

Lillian the Phantom Sword

Raised in Nahakara Village alongside her cousin Ivy, Lillian became a guard through traditional means. She went to the guard academy when she became of age and excelled in her studies, graduated top of her class and made high Jury List. Served as a guard in her home of Nahakara Village, where she remained second in command until Ivy finished her own guard training.

Lillian became cursed by unknown means while exploring the enchanted forest with Ivy, resulting in her reflection gaining a consciousness and a life of her own. Hears her reflection talking to her, telling her to kill and destroy, overall not good things. She ignored it for as long as she could before eventually stepping down as head guard to seek out someone who could help. She finds Zane, who's idea of helping is bringing the reflection to the physical world and combining the real Lillian with the reflection. The two can switch fronts at will, but the reflection is always in charge, she is always in control in the back of Lillian's mind talking and telling her what to do. Lillian is but a vessel for her reflection.

She wields a simple guards sword without her shield, believing it to be too bulky in combat. Lillian is an expert level swordsman, the above average guard will not win, fighting with her is often thought to resemble a dance with her graceful movements. Her Jury power is that of illusions, she can conjure things out of shadow and mist, make people see things that aren't there. Her powers are significantly stronger and her illusions far more believable when her reflection is casting them.

The reflection is forever grateful to Zane for freeing her and giving her the control and strength over a physical body, she'll obey his every order, she is indebted to him. The reflection of Lillian is his most loyal guard.

Ivy the Venom Scythe

Raised by her cousin Lillian's parents in Naharaka Village, Ivy never cared to be a guard, she was content with her own devices, researching and experimenting with her poisons and potions. Ivy was always in and out of trouble, always some misfortunate adventure she roped Lillian into, who more often than not got them out of said trouble. She joined the guard academy after much convincing from her cousin, her havoc showed no mercy to the school and although she graduated on the Jury List it was not without a few official warnings on her record.

Joined the ranks as a guard of Naharaka with her cousin, was difficult to work with and a shitty guard, always skipping patrol to continue with her experiments. Lillian was more often than not the one who got in trouble for Ivy’s disservice to the guard code, she was the one who encouraged her to be something she’s not after all. Was formally reprimanded and assigned her second strike to her guard record after being caught lacing her sword with poison. After Lillian was cursed and fled from her duties, Ivy left also and joined the Jury Reserves in O'khasis where she was assigned to a Jurors Team and allowed to experiment with her poisons and venoms as she saw fit. Was later appointed to the Jury through traditional means after a member stepped down.

She wields a large poison laced scythe, leaning very far into her self-assigned grim reaper motif. Her Jury powers are similar to a curse, she has the ability to take the life force of anything she touches, her body acts as a poison and she can spread that poison to others. This has an effect on anything living, ranging from plants to animals she can turn anything to dust and bones. She possesses immunity to all poisons, venoms and toxins and has a vast and incomprehensible knowledge on anything relating to such topics.

Ivy’s a wild card, someone Zane can’t easily control. They don't exactly see eye to eye but Ivy is here for a good time not a long time so she’ll do whatever he asks of her as long as it’s not boring.

Jeffory the Golden Heart

Became a member of the Jury through traditional means. Went to the guard academy to learn to protect others, excellent guard, the Golden Boy of the academy in the years he attended, perfect record and perfect marks, graduated early and managed to land a spot on the Jury list. Went back to guard his home in Skysted before transferring to O’khasis per Garte’s request, became head guard and general of the O’khasis military after a few years of service.

He's a brave soldier, loyal and kind hearted. His devotion to those he loves and the people he has to protect knows no bounds. Jeffory is the people's soldier, everyone adores him, the Golden Boy of O’khasis. After one of the Jury of Nine stood down to retire, Jeffory was given the mantle.

Fights with a very untrational choice of weapon, and his mastery of the glaive is something short of a marvel. He’s a flashy fighter, eager to show his skills and yet he is kind all the while. His Jury powers are simple and often overlooked, he possesses the ability of imprisonment, allowing him to create a barrier that can capture and imprison humans, creatures, anything, with little hope or no chance to escape. (functions similarly to the golden lasso from the original series) Although he uses this as more of a pocket realm, like a mythical handbag to store things in. He has no magic or other powers outside of his Juror title.

Knows that the Jury is corrupt and he worries he’s starting to become just like the others, he fears the day he’ll be just as bloodthirsty, just as power hungry. He’s concerned that the Jeffory that he has become has lost his heart of gold, and it scares him.

Ivan the Hallowed

Warlock hailing from a small mountain village, Ivan got into a lot of trouble with his magic as a kid, always felt as though he had to prove something, as if the world owed him a great debt. The Village sent him away to train as a guard in an attempt to keep him out of trouble and his head out of his magic books, believing they knew what was best for him. Ivan wasn’t a particularly great guard, unpopular and unskilled in the protecting front, but he seemed to make up for it with his fighting. After his training he was assigned to the Village of Pikoro, where he continued with his magic studies- the village was often known for its distast and distrust of magic, he was exiled shortly after his arrival.

Was offered the position of Jury member by Zane, even without making the Jury List post graduation. The High Priest was enamored with his ability to cast complicated spells, he had seen nothing quite like it, he wanted to study it, cultivate it as his own. Ivan’s magic is strong, impressively so. One of the brightest spell casters Ru’an has seen in centuries, although his magic is volatile and unstable: this instability seems to be his driving force, his bragging point as his spells don’t have to adhere to the normal laws of magic.

He seemed to have gained no excess powers after obtaining the title of Juror. He’s the most recent addition, so he feels like he has something to prove that makes him dangerous. Doesn’t take orders well and tends to do his own thing. Zane only keeps Ivan around out of his usefulness, once it has expired it’s not unlikely Ivan will as well.

Ein the Beast Slayer

Abandoned and taken in by a tribe of werewolves, Ein was raised and trained by the creatures of the moon as one of their own. Until a violent incident with a rival pack resulted in his adoptive family banishing him, afraid of his strength. They feared that which was stronger than them, the things they couldn't control. He joined the guard academy, he held the vengeful desire to become stronger. Graduating with decorated honors and a position fairly high on the Jury list, he took a position in a Village close to his old home. Early into his guard career, Ein slaughtered the werewolves from his pack, the ones that took him in as their own, raised him, betrayed him. He made them understand true strength, gave them a real reason to fear him. He now wears the skull and fur of the alpha werewolf.

Ein went on to kill nearly hundreds of werewolves, bringing their population to such a decline it caught the attention of The High Priest, Zane Ro’meave. Zane heard of his deeds and sought him out, mysteriously, a member of the Jury resigned and Ein took their place.

His Jury powers are a curse, it’s a blood beastman curse that allows him the ability to shapeshift into any animal that he’s consumed the blood of. It is unknown if this trick will work for humans. His weapon of choice is a battle ax, although he often prefers to do Zane's dirty work as one of the beasts in his collection. Ein loves the chase, he lives for the kill.

Teony the Bright Blade

Became a member of the Jury through traditional means, raised in the village of BrightPort Teony joined the Guard Academy and excelled in her studies. Often referred to as the brightest mind of her generation. Graduated with high honors, Jury List and signed to the Jury Reserves, where she swore her allegiance to the O'khasis Guard. Served as second in command of the O’khasis Military, until becoming a member of the Jury of Nine alongside Jeffory the Golden Heart, the two were given their titles during the same ceremony.

Teony has immense skill over any and all weapons, she has a mastery of the craft of fighting.

Her Jury power is a summons- she can conjure weapons, knights, animals, most anything she needs out of light. These beings hold no physical form in the hands of others, weapons will disappear if she is not the wielder and the animals will vanish if they are cut through.

No one outside of the Jury has ever bested her in a battle of skill, she is the expert amongst experts, specialist in all weapons and can summon any of her choosing to wield. She is noble and strong, like Jeffory she is a true guard, her loyalty knows no bounds. And similarly, she often fears she is doing the wrong thing, helping the wrong people. Her oath to the Guard code outweighs her oath to Lord Garte, her nobility will always come first, her duty is to save people and protect, where there is darkness she shall be the light. Just like Jeffory, her heart of gold will be her downfall.

[rendevok]

Moon dance 🌕✨

[vaxxildamn]

finally…… the legendary Level 20 Scissor Gal-adin

[salemoleander]

I am BARELY resisting going full red-strings-corkboard on this season. And by barely resisting I mean not resisting at all here is an extremely long list of the events those pins would be marking out.

BigB getting a Task that was a different color than everyone else's. It's not just a randomly assigned Hard Task, bc Scar rerolled for a Hard Task and his was also just a white envelope. It's fundamentally different.

That task taking BigB away from socialization, and seemingly being an incredibly time-consuming and dull request. Of profound disinterest to any watchers.

The phrasing of his Task!!

Dig a big hole. All the way down. At least 3x3. Make it your base if you want.

Everyone else's are direct and formal - the only one with more than one sentence was Skizz's, with the rule clarification of "One attempt only." Bigb's Task is four short abrupt sentences. It is also the only Task to contain extraneous information, 'Make it your base if you want.' The requirements (at least 3x3) feel like an afterthought to mimic the numerical/specific demands of the other tasks.

Evo symbol on the face of the Secret Keeper statue.

The fact that there's a statue at all; the fact that there is a physical representation of what is assigning tasks that everyone must complete, when previously everything was always handled via commands and unseen RNG.

Grian talking to the statue, and (bc of his Actual Role as game organizer) acting as a mediator for the impartial decisions handed down, speaking for it.

Grian making one last bad joke and saying he doesn't know if it counted or not- depends on whether we the audience laughed.

Grian asking for task recommendations from the audience. The watchers are making the tasks. The Watchers are making the tasks.

Again I could be off-base, and I'm not usually even that smitten with bringing in Evo lore. I don't want a Big Bad really...but. It feels like something very unusual and intentional and cool is happening in this series. And I'd guess we'll know if theres something going on once we have more than one data point.

My largely unfounded suspicion is that there is another being (maybe Listeners, maybe something else) trying to reach out to the Players via decoy Tasks, and BigB was the first recipient. Get them alone, make them of disinterest to the watchers, and tell them something we don't get to know.

Because that's the really, really fucking cool part (if my wacky theory is remotely right): We're the bad guys. We're the ones giving out tasks - hell, we're the ones actively brainstorming harder and crueller tasks in Grian's comments!

If they actually made a story where the Players have to keep secrets from us I will be delighted. Bc that is the same genius bullshit that made Evo Watcher lore so fun

[lovelylonelymoonlight]

I think we need to make dick a lil more unhinged like

Tim says bye to kon perfectly straight faced and devoid of emotion and Dick starts teasing him about his obvious crush

And then another titan is like, huh??

“his heart beat picked up by two additional beats cmon now”

[deimosatellite]

[aethersea]

I do think Blazing Saddles handled its one depiction of native americans very poorly, and the full extent of its representation of chinese workers on the railroad is they were literally just there. not even one single speaking line. unclear if this is worse or better than the redface.

it's fucking phenomenal at lampooning antiblack racism though. extremely blatant, extremely funny satire, which is constantly and loudly saying "racism is the philosophy of the terminally stupid at best and morally depraved at worst, and we should all be pointing and laughing at them 24/7"

plus the main character is a heroic black man who has to navigate a whole lot of bullshit but is constantly smirking at the extraordinarily stupid racists and inviting the audience into the joke. the one heroic white character is a guy who was suicidally depressed until he met the protagonist and they just instantly became buds, and he's firmly in a supporting role the whole time and happy to be there. the protagonist saves the day with the help of his black friends from the railroad, and uses the position of power he was given to uplift not only those friends, but all the railroad workers of other minorities too, in an explicit show of solidarity.

anyone saying "Blazing Saddles is racist" had better be talking about its treatment of non-black minorities. it had better not be such superficial takes as "oh but they say the n-word all the time" or "they have nazis and the kkk in there!" because goddamn if that's the full extent of your critique I very seriously suggest you read up on media analysis. there is too much going over your head, you need to learn to recognize satire.

[cowardlykrow]

“Not my circus, not my monkeys”… Except those are his monkeys and they are the circus

[misc-obeyme]

Can we please take a moment to appreciate this latest chat photo?

I would make Solomon talk to every cat for me. Be my kitty translator I need to know all about that precious baby’s life.

Barbatos, darling, give me those books they look stupid heavy. He calls that paperwork in the chat.

I love them both so much it makes me silly.

[charlietheepicwriter7]

"Grandfather."

Ra's knew who the boy was the moment he'd snuck into the room. He'd allowed the child--more man than child now, but everyone was a child compared to him--moments to steel himself while Ra's refrained from acknowledging his presence. The boy's breath was barely audible but unsteady, and a drop of something fell to the floor.

His grandson was injured. "Danyal," he greeted and finally gazed upon him for the first time in seven years.

Danyal had grown into his father's height, yet stayed lean in regards to his musculature. His black hair had grown out of the League-regulation haircut, held back in a messy braid. He held himself as strong as he could, but kept an arm wrapped around his stomach. His shirt--standard American teenage garb, he dismissed--was spotted with blood and he could see bandages poking out from under the cloth.

With great care, Danyal knelt before the Demon Head and recited the Oath of Loyalty.

Ra's watched.

The boy's tongue, fat with English, spoke the League's variant of Arabic with the grace of a mace to the head, yet his words were clear. He took his time speaking the oath, carefully sounding out words, working hard to avoid mispronunciation. The Oath in question was the older version, from before Deathstroke's insurrection, but Danyal spoke it with a calm certainty that it would be accepted.

And without a doubt, it would be accepted.

Talia's eldest son had been born from her body instead of through science, a mistake that nearly cost her the child and damaged him upon birth. While the best doctors in the world saved his life, Danyal Al Ghul would always be weak in a fight, always prone to illness, always struggling to excel. When it became clear that the boy couldn't become the next Demon Head, Ra's sent Talia to create a replacement while arrangements were made for her first child to be taught business and science, for the betterment of the League. Danyal, very much his father's child, thrived in his intellectual pursuits while Damian grew and developed into a budding assassin.

But Danyal was more like his father than he'd ever knew. Ra's couldn't miss the signs of one of his family turning away from the League. Not the mission--Danyal had written several university level papers defending the environment by the time the boy was 10--but Ra's methods...

Ra's had a conundrum. Danyal was a dedicated conservationist; once the boy was an adult, Ra's was certain he'd take the world by storm and bring the League to new heights. But if he forced his methods onto Danyal, he could create an enemy of him, just as his father was.

Ra's gave Danyal an offer; Danyal would be allowed to leave the League and live a normal life if and only if he faked his own death in such a way that reinforced Damian's loyalty to the League of Assassins.

Danyal had been hesitant at first, but past his test with flying colors. Instigating one of the more unstable assassins into organizing a coup, cutting the insurgents off near immediately, but "dying" protecting both his younger brother and mother. It was a masterful performance. Even Talia hadn't known about the deceit.

And yet, here he was, on his knees, pledging loyalty. Danyal knew what that meant, knew what he was returning to, which morals he would be allowed to keep.

"And what do you bring with you, child of no one?" Why should the League accept the return of this child, who left once before?

Danyal met his eyes. "I bring with me, my team, who are loyal to me and me alone. I bring with me, research surrounding the Lazarus Pits, in origins and further uses for the waters." Ra's raised an eyebrow, and Danyal smirked. "I bring with me, my knowledge, nurtured within this very home and sharpened in the world outside. I bring with me, my weapons, built with my own hands. I bring with me... my body, finally healthy and whole." He brought his head down to the floor, trembling with pain. "I bring my whole self to the Demon's Head, for Him to accept or reject."

Ra's smiled. "By the shadows that guard our order and the blood that binds us, I accept this oath. From this day forward, you are an instrument of the League, a harbinger of justice, and a weapon in the hand of Ra's Al Ghul."

Danyal returned to his feet, swaying percariously. He needed immediate medical attention. Despite this, he continued, "Long live the League of Assassins. Long live Ra's Al Ghul."

And he collapsed onto the floor.

[sindirimba]

can't vibe with the pathetic sopping wet generic sub boy man/pristine feminine perfect goddess woman dynamic people try to put onto every m/f pairing in existence. don't you want something more interesting? characters don't need to have perfect psychologist approved relationships in fiction obvs but it's just so boring. don't you want something in character? don't you want something more interesting?? oh she pegs him? and you write this in a way that implies penetration is about domination and power? wowee. never seen that one before.

[vaguely-concerned]

purple hawke who, at malcolm's death, lost not only a father, a mentor, the single most stable and safe point in their world up until this moment. but also the only person in their life who would consistently, gleefully 'yes, and — ' them. the loss, in one fell swoop, of both a beloved parent and your sole willing — no, not only willing, enthusiastic — improv partner. truly, the most unkindest cut of all that the maker could have seen fit to deal. (there's always so much less laughter in the house, after malcolm's gone.)

and then after all the horrors of the blight and trying to make a new life in the shithole turned shithome of kirkwall....... they meet varric. and something that's been slumbering deep within their soul dries a tear of relief and joy and whispers 'oh we are so back'. and they are so right

[izzystizzys]

TW: discussion of something approximating suicidal tendencies but with the usual crack programming of this blog

“Ah, High General Windu”, says Fox, pleasantly. “So we meet again.”

High General Windu raises an unimpressed eyebrow at him, Fox thinks, though it’s getting hard to tell with all the blood rushing to his head. “If I let you go, will you try to throw yourself out of another window?”

Fox makes a vague shrugging motion - or tries to, anyways. It’s hard to tell where any of his limbs are going, hanging upside down in the air as he is. “I am willing to discuss terms.” A bridge will do just fine.

Impossibly, the High General’s eyebrows climb even further up his forehead. “A compromise, then, esteemed Commander.” And so, he righths Fox the head way up in the air, but leaves him floating just above the ground, at which point several painted shells come skidding around the corner followed by billowing robes and screeches.

“WHAT”, says Kote, calmly, “THE BANTHA-KARKED, FORCE-LOVING KRIFF, FOX.”

“You’ll short out your helmet mic”, Fox advises him, sagely. Fondly, he thinks back to decimating his own on only his second time in the newly-christened official Coruscant Guard Scream Closet. He’d just received the comm about the Zillo Beast being transported to 000, and made sure to take his bucket off thereafter to improve the quality of his closet time.

High General Windu’s face does something complicated between sympathy and constipation.

Because the Galaxy doesn’t hate Fox enough already and Cody wasn’t enough on his own, Wolffe elbows his way through their batch to plant himself in front of him, shoulders squared and shaking with repressed rage. “If you try that again, dickhead”, he begins, in a low growl that quite frankly sounds more cringe that intimidating, “I’m going to resurrect you and then kill you again.”

“Ah, Wolffe”, Plo Koon says, in his deep, shivery timbre, “Remember our conversations about effective conflict resolution and communication of needs?”

Wolffe’s eyes narrow at Fox, because all non-Guard are sweet summer children who walk around buckets off on 000 like absolute lunatics. Fox prays they never have to find out why that’s a bad idea. “I feel”, his ori’vod presses out between clenched teeth, “that if you make me watch you throw yourself out of another window, I’m going to jump after you and strangle you on the way down, you little bitch.”

“That’s fair”, says Fox, and watches High General Kenobi bury his face in his hands. Wolffe twitches in place and makes an aborted groaning noise, the hypocrite.

“Excuse me, High Marshall Commander Fox, but I fail to see what’s so dire about this situation that the Jedi High Council and your brothers cannot help you solve”, says Windu, the only sane one left on this Force-forsaken bloated corpse of a planet. Behind the gaggle of Jedi and ori’vode already gathered in front of Fox, the rest of them come veering around the corner in a commotion that’s quite frankly embarrassing. High General Yoda is mounted on Skywalker’s back like he’s a race-Eopie, which is Fox’ only consolation.

He got up this morning at 0300, bleary-eyed and with a pounding headache as always, and all was right in the world. And then Fox got called into the Jedi High Council’s chambers and was ceremoniously informed that in the wake of Chancellor Palpatine’s unfortunate demise (hah), and through the emergency state of the Senate, as well as several invented promotions foisted on Fox to make the delegation of any and all paperwork less shady, he was now next in the chain of command and-

Well, Fox is the acting Chancellor, in short.

Haha, he had said, and been meet with several seconds of silence, until it got both awkward and exceedingly painful. Wait, he’d said. You’re kriffing serious.

Kriffing serious, we are, had said High General Yoda, and thus Fox launched himself out the first best window with a maniacal cackle of, you’ll have to catch me first!

And catch him, High General Windu sure did.

“The will of the Force this is”, Yoda interrupts Fox’ train of thought. He scans him thoughtfully from beneath his wizened brow, and hems to himself. “Shake things up, this will. Determine the fate of the Galaxy, this shall. A feeling, I have, that a good Chancellor you will make. A better one, hmmm.”

“That’d be high praise, if not for the fact that a dead lemming would make for a better Chancellor than the last one”, says Fox, drawing and indignant gasp from Skywalker. He doesn’t bother with either that or the green goblin’s cackle, lost in the deep sense of resignation that settles over his shoulders like a suffocating blanket.

“Alright, then, get me Thorn on the comm. As my first act in office, I’m firing all the Jedi. No offense, but you’re kind of a disaster. Then, someone get me to the Chancellor’s office, I’m calling Dooku to let him know the war’s off. And please get me Judicial, they’ll be up all night working on my datafolders - I’m having the Senate arrested.”

“Who - is - arresting - “, Bly pants, hands on his knees from where he’s just come sprinting around the corner with his Jedi.

Underneath his bucket, Fox smiles a smile that’s all teeth. “The Senate”, he says, sweetly, wondering if he’s just imagined the shiver that’s gone through the room. “I’m suing the Senate, and taking them all into temporary custody for abuse of sentient rights.”

[egophiliac]

"IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE" As someone who's been playing TWST since march and stopped going out of my way to be spoilerfree after I got stuck at Overblott!Jamil? That's honestly been one of my favorite things about it - seeing something in fanart or a comment you think is just fans joking, only for it to be canon. "The economy!", "May I also throw a tantrum?", Malleus' gargoyle thing, and... everything about Rook being my top examples.

there's a whole bit in Trey's platinum birthday card where he goes on about how he became increasingly obsessed with mustard for like a week straight until the other students held an intervention. how are you supposed to talk about this. how can you bring up something like Trey's descent into mustard obsession to the point that the other characters are worried for him without it sounding like the most obvious lolrandom "he mentioned it once and now fandom acts like he puts mustard in everything" joke. also, how can I slip this into every Twst post from now on, because I need everyone in the world to know that this is a real canon fact about Trey "I'm just an average normal guy (who sticks my hands into people's mouths and owns 20 toothbrushes and used to eat flowers off the side of the road)" Clover.

for bonus points, 1) the punchline is that he still doesn't even like mustard that much, 2) he's saying all of this to Leona, and 3) Leona is actually kind of invested in Trey's mustard story for some reason, which is the most unbelievable part of all of this to be honest. (then Trey gets distracted by a painting of the Cheshire Cat and Leona takes the opportunity to powerwalk away to freedom before they can start talking about dijon versus spicy brown or whatever and extend this bit even longer)

[bluberryfields]

This is what happens when you're raised by TV and trained in literary analysis

Beyond the crushing heartbreak of that finale, one thing in particular has stuck with me when I look at it in the context of S2 as a whole.

He lays out their relationship, "We're a team, a group. A group of the two of us. And we've spent our existence pretending that we aren't."

He then turns his head away and says, "I mean, the last few years, not really."

He pauses here, facing the interior of the bookshop. Really looks it up and down.

Turns back, "And I would like to spend" before choking on his words and looks toward the window. He can't finish saying something like "And I would like to spend eternity with you" because that's too much, too fast, for both of them.

But it's that "last few years" bit that has firmly lodged itself in my very broken brain.

According to Gaiman, it's been "a few years" since the end of Season 1. Armageddon has been averted. Heaven and Hell have reluctantly retreated. Crowley and Aziraphale have been effectively cut loose from their "sides," leaving them to form their own side.

So at the start of Season 2, we get a glimpse of the “fragile existence” they have carved out for themselves. To me, the biggest difference that we see is how they exist together in front of others. Going to the coffee shop, the pub, and the other shops along the street that Aziraphale has lived on for over 200 years. And don’t forget how they act in front of Nina, Maggie, and sweet, dim Muriel.

At the coffee shop, Aziraphale stammers a bit when Nina asks who Crowley is, but he still seems to have affection in his voice when he says, "We go back a long time."

Compared to Shakespearian "He's not my friend! We've never met before. We don't know each other!" panic, this is an incredible difference.

Of course, each time, Crowley is cool and cheeky and does nothing to indicate that they aren't a pair. Though, of course, he does deny it when Nina asks about Aziraphale being his side piece. “He’s not my bit on the side! He’s far too pure of heart to be anyone’s bit on the side.” And refers to him as an “Angel [swallows]I know.”

When they go the pub, Crowley's joy at doing something together in public that they do not normally do is super cute, including his cheeky order for Aziraphale's sherry. Then, when bringing the drinks over to the socially trapped Aziraphale, he greets Mr. Brown with a truly adorable, "Hello" and a signature DT smile. Then upon hearing how “excited” Mr. Fell is to host the meeting, he looks down and says, “Oh? You astonish me.” while Aziraphale sips his sherry and squirms.

We also watch as Crowley follows Aziraphale as he goes to each shop and talks to the owners about the meeting/secret ball. In theory, Crowley has no reason to tag along, and he certainly doesn’t help sway anyone who doesn’t want to/can’t go. He goofs around at the magic shop. He splays out on the bench, chin on hand, looking for all the world a husband waiting for his wife to pick out a dress at the department store. They are so married it’s ridiculous.

Finally, their behavior in front of Muriel while inside their sanctuary. Crowley sits on the arm of Aziraphale’s chair, somehow looking supremely comfortable on the old-fashioned furniture. He folds up those gloriously long limbs and presses himself as close as possible.

He smiles and plays along with Aziraphale’s coaching of Muriel in her disguise. Calls him Angel and asks to speak in private. And at the end, during the awful wait while Aziraphale talks with The Metatron, Crowley cleans up the shop and tells Muriel that he and Aziraphale will need some “us” time after all this. No beating around the bush. 

Without oversight, they can be openly together and happy. But Heaven just can’t let that happen. 

[anachronistic-falsehood]

hey guys wouldn’t it be funny if the suckening characters had tumblr

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

omw to burger king gonna get the no whopper whopper who wants anything

🕷 gabrielmontezfuckingrocks

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCKV YKU FUCKG HUOU

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

suck my entire dick and balls

👑 shilo-bathory

Hello It’s Me Shilo Bathory Son ofthe Wueen hello 👋 what’s Is That There Is A Hand oon the Light Box Whose Hand Is that There Is A Tiny Man Inside The Lightbocx

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

you pressed the emoji button after typing hello see here i can do it too hello 👋

👑 shilo-bathory

Who Are Yoy Is This your Hand In The Light Box

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

why are you typing like a homestuck character

👑 shilo-bathory

Wghat is Home Suck

🦇 iamthevoid

The darkness is my only friend… my one constant companion in these long decades of breathless life…

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

edgelord alert

🦇 iamthevoid

Boy you have no idea what horrors I have seen. I have witnessed wars and massacres the likes of which would give you nightmares. You have seen nothing yet.

#darkness #my twisted mind #lonely #depression #no one understands #despair

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

@/iamthevoid stop typing like that youre clogging up my dashboard

🦇 iamthevoid

It’s what best suits my dark and twisted soul… if I even have one.

😈 phantom-flipper-official

who tf got peepaw a tumblr account

👑 shilo-bathory

Hello Emizel It Is me Shilo I Helped Arthur create a “tumblr blog” like You Did For Me ☺️ I Know How To Make The Smiley Faces now

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

👑 shilo-bathory

Emizel Hwo Is This Man inthe Lightt Box. Who is That

🦇 iamthevoid

Prince, I believe that is Keanu Reeves.

🗡 fromthetoprope

@/shilo-bathory Actually My Prince, that is Ben Affleck! He is an “actor.” I learned about him while watching the large light box!

👑 shilo-bathroy

grefgor

🥤 the-soda-man ✅✅

hey guys, i’m shutting this blog down. my soda addiction was getting really really bad, and i think it’s best i don’t post about vintage sodas anymore. i’m rebranding to the nalgene man

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

CONGRATS ON THE TRANSITION 🥳

🥤the-nalgene-man ✅✅

THANKS BRO YOURE MY NUMBER ONE ‼️‼️

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

the no whopper whopper is not worth the twenty five dollars

🕷 gabrielmontezfuckingrocks

YOU SUCK SO BAD

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

DUDE GET OFF MY DICK

🕷 gabrielmontezfuckingrocks

I’LL GET OFF YOUR DICK WHEN YOU GET OFF MINE

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

GUESS WERE GETTING OFF EACH OTHERS DICKS THEN

🦇 iamthevoid

I’m reporting this post for sexual content.

🕷 gabrielmontezfuckingrocks

WHATS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM YOU WANNA GET OFF MY DICK TOO

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

YOU CANT GET OFF HIS DICK YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING OFF MY DICK

🦇 iamthevoid

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

WHO SHIWED YOU HOW TO USE REACTION INAGES?????>?>?

👑 shilo-bathory

Emizel We Are Learning ☺️ Grefgor Knows All

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

whoever showed arthur homophobic dog im going to strangle you he wont stop saying “i know what you are” and “dont tell me youre one of them” whenever i do anything i was washing the blood out of my clothes at 2 in the morning and he passed by the bathroom and said “i dont think thats normal” im going to fucking rip his throat out

🦇 iamthevoid

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOR

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

WHY IS THIS GETTING NOTES

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

you guys HAVE to stop asking me about arthur hes not my fucking dad i was an orphan your assumptions are offensive im not related to him i called him peepaw AS A JOKE

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

i AM related to the other guy but thats not relevant

🦇 iamthevoid

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

WHO GAVE YUO MORE IMAGES

👑 shilo-bathory

His Arsenal Is Expanding ☺️

🦇 iamthevoid

What is a Tumblrina and why are the people in my inbox calling me one?

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅

im gonna fucking kill myself

👑 shilo-bathory

Okay 🥳 See You when youu Come Back 😊🥰

😈 phantom-flipper-official ✅✅