#this is about the [redacted] from a couple months back (the thing that you could easily figure out with a little guesswork)

[pochapal]

we are so fucking back (kind of)

[cowgurrrl]

Yo Gotti

Pairing: rockstar!joel miller x actress!reader

Author’s note: MOM JUNE’S BEING UNHINGED ON THE INTERNET AGAIN

Summary: You and Joel read thirst tweets together. Chaos ensues. [1.2k]

Warnings: internet speak, pregnancy, Joel Miller being a Wife Guy

"Hi, I'm Joel Miller," Joel says into one of the Buzzfeed cameras, and you smile as you introduce yourself. "And we are going to readin’ thirst trap tweets today. Both for ourselves and for us as a couple."

"It's gonna be weird," you laugh. "I wanted to do the puppy video, but Joel said no."

"If you weren't pregnant, we could do the puppy video." He says, resting a protective hand on your stomach. You're only twenty-one weeks, but you're way bigger than you were at this point with Sam which makes sense, considering there are two babies instead of one. Still, Joel has been overprotective, bordering on overbearing, as your pregnancy progresses, but you know it's because he loves you so much. Besides, the extra attention is kinda nice. The producer walks over with a bucket full of slips of paper, and Joel lets you choose the first one.

"The way I would let her redacted my redacted redacted," you laugh, and Joel peeks over your shoulder to see just how many 'redacted's there are, and he laughs too. "This is a pretty good one to start with." Joel picks one and immediately furrows his brows, mumbling the words under his breath.

"I don't think I get this one," he admits, and you laugh as you read it. It's a picture of his side profile from one of his music videos, the tweet reading, "What Doja Cat said." "How is that even dirty?" He asks, looking to you for an answer, and you take a deep breath to try and keep a straight face.

"Do you not know what they're talking about?"

"No," he says, and you laugh as you point at the camera.

"If your name is Sarah or Ellie Miller, click off this video now," you say before returning to him. "Doja Cat is a rapper, and she-"

"I know who Doja Cat is."

"Okay, sorry," you roll your eyes dramatically. "Anyways, she said in an interview once that she liked big noses because you can sit on them," you and Joel laugh loudly, a blush creeping up his neck, and you shake your head. "These are fucking unhinged. I love them."

Much of the interview goes that way, you read a few, and then Joel reads a few, and you laugh at them together. Joel doesn't understand a lot of the internet speak, which results in you having to explain it to him in terms he'll understand. You never thought you'd have to explain to your husband what the fuck someone means when they say he put his whole "Joelussy" into his most recent album, Between Oceans. One of them, in particular, makes you raise your eyebrows at him as you hide the paper from him.

"Are you ready for this one?" You ask.

"I don't know. Am I?"

"Say what you want about parasocial relationships, but Joel Miller being crowned Sexiest Man Alive and then him and his wife announcing they're pregnant with twins three months later is so important to me." You read, and he shrugs.

"Those two things are not related."

"Yes, they are." You say, and Joel gives you a look.

"No, they aren't." He doubles down, and you glance between him and the cameras. You bite back a comment about being pretty sure of when he impregnated you once again.

"Are you being serious right now?" You ask instead, and he laughs.

"There's no way!"

"Joel," you say, looking at him seriously like you're trying to transport your thoughts into his head, but he just stares at you. You laugh as you lean in, covering your mic, and whisper in his ear about the night of his cover reveal party back in November.

"Oh!" He yells, suddenly connecting the dots. "Okay, yeah. Those two things are related."

"Thanks, People Magazine!" You laugh as Joel suddenly sits up and points at the camera.

"Hey, if I never get awarded World's Sexiest Man Alive ever again, that's totally fine! No more!" He waves his arms in an X position, and you copy him.

"Yes, he's done! We're done!"

"Was this pregnancy a surprise?" The producer asks, and you rest a hand on your stomach out of habit.

"I mean…" you trail off, looking at Joel. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Sure, we can talk about it."

"We were talking about having one more baby, but we weren't going to plan anything, so we just kinda left it up to chance and…"

"We thought four was a good number." Joel finishes for you, and you nod.

"And hey, guess what's a better number than four?"

"Five," you and Joel say in unison.

"Do you know if you're having fraternal or identical twins?" The producer asks, and Joel looks at you to see if you want to answer.

"They're identical." You say, running a hand over the expanse of your belly, and all the people on set clap. You smile and thank them before diving into the rest of the thirst tweets.

"Well, that was…" Joel tries to find the words as you get to the bottom of the bucket. "Certainly somethin'."

"Joel is famously oblivious to how handsome he is, so I'm glad we could force him to see just how many people, besides me, think he's cute."

"They thought I was more than cute," Joel says, smirking and leaning back in his chair. "What was it that one person said about my nose?"

"Okay, you're done!"

"No, I seriously don't remember. Can you remind me?" You immediately recognize the flirty tone in his voice and playfully shove his face away from you so you can hide the blush on your cheeks. "Do y'all see how she treats me?" Joel laments, and you laugh.

"Oh, you're obviously very neglected."

"I'm just sayin' what the audience is clearly thinkin'," he shrugs. "We should kiss just to put their minds at ease."

"You're worried about the audience's minds now?" You ask, and he hums, already leaning in. You give him a look but kiss him anyways. Six years of marriage and three kids later, and he still makes you feel butterflies in your stomach. You sign off by promoting each of your newest projects and thanking Buzzfeed for the opportunity.

"Do you think more celebrity couples should read thirst tweets together?" The producer asks.

"I don't know if there are any celebrity couples that are as cool as we are," Joel says before you can say anything, and you laugh.

"That's true. We are pretty cool though our kids might disagree."

"They're pretty cool, too," Joel says, and you nod. With that, you wrap and thank the crew for everything.

The day the video goes up, it goes viral with people screaming about Joel's reactions, your laughs, and the People Magazine story. But the thing that they get the most excited about is seeing you two interact. You see one post that says, "This video might as well be called Joel Miller being in love with his wife for six minutes straight," with a picture of you two kissing attached. Joel, never one to shy away from a challenge, posts one of the first pictures of you and him not taken by paparazzi but by him. You're at the beach with your back to his chest, resting between his legs as you two sit in the sand, and his lips are pressed to your temple. In the caption, he writes, "In love with you then. In love with you today. In love with you tomorrow."

Instagram breaks within the hour.

[nerodivergentgrimreaper]

Redacted Parent Headcanons: Aaron 

(Listener is referred to with gender neutral pronouns but has the ability to have children)

To say Aaron was shocked when his partner came to him with a positive pregnancy test was an understatement. He was worried to say the least. 

Immediately his career came to the forefront of his mind but when he looked back up from the test and saw the look of worry on his partners face those thoughts immediately were put on the back burner 

The couple sat down and weighed out all their options, their finances, and their plans for a future… but in the end they decided that starting a family is something they could do now… so they did 

Aaron spent a lot of time building a calendar of their appointments, deadlines for bigger projects (like the nursery), and made a list of all the supplements Smartass had to be taking and what they were for.  

The books He and his partner read in their spare time soon changed to ones about parenting and “what to expect when you're expecting”

 Every once and a while insecurities of whether he would be a good father crept into his head, but they were always cleared out quickly by his partner 

As a joke his Smartass of a partner got him a book on dad jokes and told him “You need to start studying”  

The nursery ended up being more simplistic but very practical and good quality. 

Smartass’ water broke a few weeks earlier than they expected but he was still prepared. He was freaking out internally but besides a few words of encouragement he was mostly quiet during the drive over to the hospital 

The birth was long and hard but he stayed with his partner the whole time. 

He immediately broke down into tears when he was handed his daughter for the first time. She was so small, her little hands, nose, toes, all of it was perfect. 

His daughter was a splitting image of him. Everything from the shape of her eyes to her beautiful head of hair 

He did everything he could to make his partner more comfortable during their stay. The whole thing took a lot out of them so if they were not feeding or holding the baby they were fast asleep. 

After they arrived home things weren't much different. When the baby cried at night he was up and unless the baby was hungry he avoided waking his partner. 

The quiet hours of the morning where he spent holding his daughter to his chest were some of the most important moments for him. The soft sound of her breathing eased all anxiety for the day ahead. 

When his paternity leave ended he was heartbroken that he had to go back to the office but he was also determined to not let work consume his life the way he let it months prior. He even put a picture of his partner holding their new baby girl on his desk as a reminder to get home on time. 

When his child entered the toddler phase she followed him around like a shadow. He was on his computer? She was coloring on his lap. He was washing the dishes? She was sitting on the counter babbling about everything and nothing all at the same time. 

Aaron is proud to say that he adjusted to the role of girl dad quite nicely 

Two years later he is blessed with another daughter who once again is a splitting image of him. This daughter ends up being just as cheeky as their other parent. 

And another two years later he is given his last and final daughter. She’s a perfect blend of her two parents and he wouldn't have had it any other way.

Tag List: @tanker-redactedaudio, @xxcharleighxx 

[deadwinner]

//   (  chandler kinney  .  demi woman  .  she / they  )  .    ⸻  clarke addario  ,  a  twenty - six  year  old  ,  has  survived  another  day  in  red  creek  where  they  have  lived  for  one year  .  the  dead girl walking  is  known  for  being  intuitive  and  reserved  and  is  often  associated  with  humble beginnings , a few drinks too many , the same old song and dance , the hitchhiker all the urban legends warned you about  .  in  a  small  town  where  they  work  as  front desk at heartbreak motel  word  travels  fast  .  it’s  hard  to  keep  a  secret  ,  and  it  looks  like  the  boogeyman  knows  that  redacted .  (  sixer  ,  24  ,  est  ,  they/she   )

  hello all ! this is my bestie clarke.... please clap

                                 the basics.

NAME: clarke addario

AGE: twenty six

GENDER: demi woman

PRONOUNS: she/they

ZODIAC: capricorn sun, cancer moon, sag rising

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual

INSPO CHARACTERS: bill denbrough, shirley crain, bruce banner, jason todd, pam beasley, sam winchester, veronica sawyer, malia tate, stephanie brown, brigitte fitzgerald, omori, astrid deetz, annabeth chase, and stanley pines

                                    about.

when asked about why they moved to red creek, clarke might tell you that they were always a little on the morbid side, that they listened to a couple of podcasts and just picked a place following a catastrophic divorce from their high school sweetheart. it's hard to tell whether they were joking about the podcast thing, but recently that's been followed up with "guess i'm a jinx, huh?"

when they showed up to red creek, in the middle of the night in their pickup truck that contained their whole life, they didn't really branch out for a few months. she got a job at the motel pretty quickly, and was friendly enough there, but when shifts were over she'd go back to her unit and stay there, occasionally peeking through the curtains when it got noisy out.

whatever fear that took hold of her when she first arrived has for the most part dissipated now. she makes active efforts to meet people now; able to be found in the warehouse pretty much every saturday, ordering extra olives in her martini. this is how she's made most of her friends, and.. other connections.

also a regular at dolly's, unironically needs coffee to survive. though she lives at the motel and could simply go from her unit to the desk, she has to stop at dolly's every morning without fail.

they have an insane collection of scars, the most noticeable being a jagged line horizontally across their neck. when asked about it, however, the story will change every time. every friend of clarke's has been given a different, increasingly dramatic and nonsensical story. they usually end with them bursting into fits of laughter, though, so it's not like one can say they're seriously lying.

piano prodigy! clarke has always been an extremely gifted musician, though they get a bit defensive if anyone wonders why they didn't try to make a career of it— they claim to have gone to a fancy arts school, name redacted

nonplussed at the recent disappearance, won't even participate in whispers or gossip about it. the extent of her comment on the matter is a sad shake of the head and a muttered "just terrible", or the aforementioned jinx comment.

                                   a look inside.

mannerisms.

FACE: usually trying to remain unfazed, steady and unoffending. it's not that they have a RBF, more of a resting sad face? they can transform quickly when presented with a friendly face, however, lighting up with a smile. absolute master at the smize as well, will gaze upon their friends lovingly

HANDS:  their hands are always busy fidgeting away at something. if not at home playing the keyboard, they're clicking pens, unraveling loose threads, or fiddling with a fidget toy in their pocket

LEGS/FEET: always on the move, whether that's a morning run or drive, or bouncing their leg restlessly at work. 

EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS: has not happened and probably won't happen, as far as anyone is aware. clarke's cool as a cucumber, quiet and laidback.

HABITS: driving with one hand, picking at scars and scabs, drawing on any available surface, etc, etc. they've got a seemingly endless list of small bad habits

POSTURE: near perfect from being a pianist. 

personal.

INTROVERT/EXTROVERT?: a quiet extrovert. they're never going to be at the center of attention, or the oversharer, but they'll talk to pretty much anyone nowadays. it seems like they thrive around others and their energy, sitting quietly in their booth in the diner or watching people dance from a barstool.

OPTIMIST/PESSIMIST: generally an optimist in a "who cares?" sort of way, doesn't really think about how badly things can do but can be aware of it, just doesn't put much energy into worrying about it. it'll pass.

INSECURITIES: they have very few insecurities, but the most prominent would be their chipped front tooth. anyone who knows clarke will immediately notice their almost obsessive care of their dental hygeine, and their teeth are otherwise without flaw.

                                             connect.

(“you”=clarke. “they”=your character)

THE TRINITY (0/2): you all have known what it's like to be an outsider in some way, and being together makes things a little less lonely. nights out alone became group outings, then sleepovers and movie nights back at your shitty motel room. is this what it's like having a group of real friends?

LOVE RULES ALL: two people with entirely different perspectives on love. you, jaded from your marriage and seeking only casual hookups. them, looking for love in all the wrong places. you realize early on that two heads are always better than one. and so, you become each other’s official wingperson, always open to hear about this week’s romantic strife.

DICK AND JANE: you’re just friends, nothing more. this doesn’t stop people from speculating, though. you tend to be suspiciously close, behaving as though you’re married. you know their favorite foods, and make sure to bring them snacks whenever possible. they know what movies to avoid, because you hate neil patrick harris. they're probably the person you've opened up to quickest, and there's no one who knows you as well as the other.

RINGTONE: it’s almost embarrassing how quickly you text back. any attention is nice, but especially from them. they have a way of making you feel special. you’re sure they’re using you, but you’re fine with the late night calls and even later drives home if it means more flattering words.

ROLLING ALONG (0/2): you could’ve been the trio, but their tension made it hard. you don’t mind; you find it entertaining to watch the ongoing game of cat and mouse as they come to terms with their feelings for one another. being the mediator in their relationship, texting them individually about the other, is kind of fun. what’s so wrong with being the third wheel, anyway?

[i-am-autistic]

I feel like if you have any media literacy at all you should know Jancy is very likely endgame.

You can read my posts and see I'm not even a hardcore Jancy or anything I lean more Jargyle. It's just like........

1. The writers like their original pairings from s1 a lot. Mike-El/Will(Im pro Byler, yes Will isn't present in s1 but Mike spends like 90% of the season moaning and talking about him- for the sake of this post El/Will are interchangeable), Jonathan-Nancy, Joyce-Hopper and then they also like Max-Lucas. All 4 of these couples have been presented as romantic since the pitch bible and from their first interactions.

2. S4 was all about division and how the characters lose when divided. They really focused on the absence of Jancy in s4. Hence they are building to an s5 with a lot of Jancy. We also got s4 featuring the other 2 main couples: Jopper and Lumax so it's probably going to switch to the other 2 couples to finish it off and wrap up the relationship and character arcs. The duffers really really love the whole story beat of "break the characters up and then show them coming back together". You can tell because this is exactly what they did with Jopper and Lumax in s4. Jopper obviously had a physical distance that broke them up but Lumax had an emotional distance. The same things Jancy and Mileven/Byler are bringing into s5. Arguably you could even say Byler went through this in s4.

3. Cmon bro the final scene where Nancy RUNS to Jonathan and Robin pats Steve's back is the most obvious thing of all time. People bring up the script and that it wasn't a big moment in the script but those scripts are redacted as hell to avoid giving out more information.

4. Jonathan and Steve had a pretty clear parallel this season when talking about having kids in the future. Jonathan and Steve essentially come to the same vision for their futures but both decide differently. Jonathan hates it and Steve loves it. We also know from s1 and every piece of info we've got about Nancy since s1 that Nancy also hates it and doesn't want to raise a bunch of kids. Yes I know it's possible to pursue a career and have kids. But kids in this situation and the vision Steve have don't only represent kids but also represent her parents and their relationship. Which is what the show has always told us Steve represents to her and in everything we saw in s4 he hasn't developed into this new person, he still represents that. Even if the character himself has still improved he still represents that.

5. As soon as Stancy is introduced in s4 we also get introduced to the fact that Nancy isn't over Barb and Barb will still be a part of her arc. Which she pretty inextricably links to Steve.

6. This is the one people don't realize often but s4 is literally maybe 5(?) months after the end of s3. Taking place in March 86 with S3 ending Oct 85 and about 8 months after the end of s3. Steve has seemingly had literally 0 contact with Nancy in that time and doesn't fall for her again in s4. He's already fantasizing about her as he says so it's presented as a continuation of the feelings he's always had for her and he seemingly isn't as over her in s3 as was implied. If the writers are going to write that relationship, they are essentially saying they were wrong, the characters were wrong and the audience was wrong about the relationship.

7. This is kind of a half point expansion of the above but like.....seriously it's important that none of the feelings in s4 are new feelings, it's all old feelings for a relationship the writers have told us 1 million times doesn't work. I keep seeing people say "they are different people" but they aren't that different from when they broke up. Steve's actual in show character arc has always been a lot more revolving around Nancy than it is about his relationship with Robin or the kids. Like as much as the fandom is about Steve and the kids and it's cute(And I like this too! I don't dislike this) in the show when he becomes friends with Dustin it's all tied back to Nancy with that final Dustin-Nancy scene and the relationship literally being developed with Steve ranting about his relationship. S3 his relationship with Robin in the original version is written as a romantic one as he gets over Nancy. Even in the show for 90% of s3 it seems Steve looks at Robin as a romantic partner and then switches to friends when she's not available. I think people forget he's not actually babysitting the kids in his off time in the show-the fandom is cute and such- but I don't think he spends significant time with anyone except Dustin and Robin in the show. This is moreso a point about how the writers of the show are kinda poor at evolving the characters. But seemingly the way it was presented in s4 Nancy and Steve are essentially in an incredibly similar position to when they broke up in s2.

8. Joyce in the recent play. Ok I need this to be said but like Emmerson vs NYU is a thing people make out as a bigger deal than it is. Emmerson is like an excellent university too??? Like IK people want Jonathan to be validated but he is getting validated by going to a big university. The university you pick when you're a kid doesn't really matter that much and seemingly even Jonathan hasn't brought it up. Like as a kid I wanted to go to my local uni a lot but I didn't go in the end. Emerson isn't like bumming it out it's a pretty great uni. But morseo I mean Joyce's whole arc in the First Shadow is about not going to university as an art student. They are surely not going to make her son do the exact same thing. This one is really simple I don't need to explain it.

9. I think Jopper literally solves like all of Jonathan's family issues because he won't feel as burdened and that he HAS to stay.

10. Oh as a final point I'm fairly certain Argyle with Eden in Suzie's house in s4 was supposed to be a backdoor pilot for a spinoff. And I think Jonathan's only other ending they've given so far is California. I think maybe they could include Jonathan in a spinoff but I don't think they'd want to. Like they've said they don't want to continue any mains story after s5 and Argyle is periphery enough he could leave and have a spinoff and it could work with an occasional Dustin cameo or whatver but with Jonathan I feel like he is a bit too tied to the Byers for him to be in a spinoff. Like you'd have to include the Byers too and I don't think they would want one that features central characters too much.

11. This is just my opinion.

[poedays]

Duet Headcanons!

This is Part 1 of an undefined amount. I’m also open to people suggesting a duo for future parts!

Sam + Darlin’ (Redacted Audio)

Save A Horse (Ride A Cowboy) by Big & Rich

- Angel orchestrated it

- There were cowboy hats involved

- > I unironically love this song, please go listen to it, it’s so fun.

Angel + Sweetheart (Redacted Audio)

Deceptacon by Le Tigre

- Sweetheart played the guitar, Angel sang

- It was preformed in front of the Pack Smash Tournament group

- > Performed with the enthusiasm of very little children preforming to their parents

Abby + Dear/Bud (Castle Audios)

Can I Call You Rose? by Thee Sacred Souls

- They sung it on their one month anniversary

- They were drunk

Explanation of events under the cut:

Sam/Darlin’ - The pack was doing karaoke and it was couples karaoke, except the crowd got to choose what song the couples sang. It was Angel’s turn to pick. Sam and Darlin’ were up. Sam and Darlin’ sang a duet of ‘Save A Horse (Ride a cowboy)’ and it was an absolute banger of a performance once they got into it. Angel had cowboy hats just for the occasion. (They may have bribed David to let them pick Sam and Darlin’s song). After the song ended Darlin’ grabbed Sam by the front of his shirt and they shared a kiss behind one of their cowboy hats.

Angel/Sweetheart - One day the Pack Smash Tournament group had a get together/sleepover type of deal at David’s house. Sweetheart and Angel were being menaces, as they are, but throughout the night they kept on whispering and laughing at each other. No one sensed anything out of the ordinary. After dinner, the two dragged everybody to the living room and announced they had a performance for everyone (with the passion of very little children who tell their parents they’ve come up with a performance).

With a guitar opening from Sweetheart, the two did a duet to Le Tigre’s ‘Deceptacon’. Angel gets the raspy high voice perfectly and Sweetheart had the performance of their life on the guitar. They had tried to get Babe to play the drums when the two started practising this act, although they quickly figured out Babe had very little musical talent (Babe already knew this, although no one could say no to Angel when they wanted something, so they tried anyway (also Angel definitely did not have the hindsight to think of how they’d sneak a drum kit into their house)).

Abby/Bud - One night Abby and Bud come home from a date out at a bar, it’s their one month anniversary and they thought ‘why not celebrate in style?’ (they just went to a pub down the road from Liza’s diner, but still, it was stylish to them). Both of them had gotten significantly drunk and had been going from sappy, to hyper, to emotional all throughout the night. On their walk back to Liza’s diner, the topic of Rose came up and they both started sharing stories about her. Somehow one thing lead to another and they started comparing her to the flower. Another thing lead to another and the two ended up drunkenly singing ‘Can I call you rose?’ to each other.

Don’t ask me the details on how they got there, I’m sure they wouldn’t be able to tell you either.

[jerzwriter]

I wanted to take the high road; I really did.

First, no one comes here for drama. I know I've contributed to that in the past, but I have learned from it and made a conscious choice to focus on the positive going forward.

Second, the other party has publicly stated that they are coping with serious mental health issues. I'm not a monster. I don't want this person to spiral. I don't want to add to their obvious pain. I thought I'd stay quiet; they'd get bored and move on. Well, that didn't happen, and I'm doubtful it ever will.

Third, I don't share private conversations. Anything you share with me is in confidence, and I expect the same courtesy in return. Even if we're no longer friends. Even if we are enemies. So, even after this person and some of their friends broke that trust with me, I still chose to do the right thing and keep our conversation private. But it's come to the point that I feel they're taking advantage of me being a better person than them, and I'm done.

Jeremeykau's blog was taken down last week. It was taken down because he consistently posted, telling me to kill myself. Wishing that I would die and saying other things that were beyond vile. In fact, they went so far as to link those sentiments to Discord after Tumblr took down numerous posts for violating standards. When they didn't stop, Tumblr took the blog down in its entirety. I'm happy to provide screenshots if needed.

For those who blame me or think the blog was taken down due to fandom drama... I don't work at Tumblr. I don't have friends working for Tumblr. I do not control Tumblr policy. Tumblr does not take down blogs because of drama between users, but they do take them down when someone is posting daily, telling another person to enjoy their s*icide.

For those lucky enough to be unfamiliar with this drama. J and I spoke 3 months ago. I made ONE post. ONE. After months of J's "vague" posts, then some not-so-vague ones. It was after one of the latter that I finally responded publicly. My purpose? To say I see you, and I want the shit to stop. I didn't call for anyone to be harassed - in fact - I made it clear I didn't want that. But it wasn't a deterrent and J continued to post shit about me directly or indirectly. I didn't reply. ONE POST. Versus dozens now hundreds of J's.

After some time, a mutual friend told me J wanted to talk, and I was uneasy. I have dealt with people like this in my life, and I know it is a dangerous proposition. I had friends warn me not to. But I chose to give J the benefit of the doubt in hopes that we could work things out. Why? I want to live in peace here, and I wanted J to be able to live in peace here, too. But J doesn't want peace.

I've linked our full conversation below. Feel free to see it for yourself. It's our entire conversation. I redacted when J talked about mental health issues because even if they wish to share those details publicly, it's not for me to do. I'm not about to do that. I also redacted the names of others because they don't deserve to be made public.

See it for yourself. It was a surprisingly pleasant conversation, and J seemed to be as grateful as I was. We worked on apologies together. Together. The only thing I refused to do was gaslight people by saying J never said KY when they had publicly many times. I don't gaslight. Outside of that, J said my apology was "GREAT." We ended by saying we were happy we talked, and if we ever had issues with each other again, we would come to each other and discuss them privately.

I even reached out after to see if J was doing well. Since we had unblocked each other, I could see all posts, and I tell J's mental health was not good. I was honestly worried when they threatened self harm, and I reached out to offer an ear if needed. Foolishly, I actually cared.

There was no response. The next thing I knew, J and a couple friends were back to their campaign against me. They never once came to me to discuss. One of those other friends and I also apologized to each other and said we were happy it was worked out. What changed? I have no idea. I never contacted any of them outside of what you can see here; I never discussed them publicly. As far as I knew, this was dead and buried. But none of them gave me the courtesy of reaching out privately... as J promised to do. Because none of them want this worked out, and they seem to want to subject the entire fandom to it.

Please note in the conversation that J says it was really all J's fault for starting this. That it was done over some petty shit. Where J admits to not being a nice person holding grudges, yet was glad it worked out. I was glad, too, but I was sincere.

And since you're bringing other people into the mix now? I'll just say as eager as she was to reach out to you, I will give her the courtesy of not sharing our story here. I won't share our conversations or the MANY conversations from others in various choices fandoms who had plenty to say about their sins. I'm letting sleeping dogs lie, but if I get bit, I'll bite back.

Look - no one has to like me. You can have the shittiest opinion of me. You can hate my fucking guts, and I honestly don't care. Block me and move the fuck on with your life. But you WILL Not publicly harass me, you WILL not tell me to kill myself and wish death upon me publicly, you will not stalk my blog and present your twisted version of the truth non-stop and think I'm going to take it. I hate that I've probably fed J's narc supply for months with this. I literally hate it. But to be honest, this isn't for J - it's for transparency in the fandom. You can all see how "horribly" I behaved here and you can see who violated the pact we made to be kind and decent to each other. It was not me.

If I have hurt anyone other than the three people involved in this - please reach out to me. I am happy to talk to you, happy to listen, and will apologize if I hurt you. I assure you, it was never my intent and I am as flawed as anyone else. Could I make mistakes? Of course. But if you think I'm going to apologize to vile bullies, my grace towards them has long expired.

I AM ADAMANTLY TELLING EVERYONE NOT TO SEND HATE THEIR WAY. But to be clear, I don't control anyone but myself. Some in the fandom think I have the magic ability to control people. It's about time to take responsibility for YOUR actions. You don't get hate because of me; you get hate because of your behavior. If anons get that bad, turn them off. The same way I have had to BECAUSE OF YOU. It's a 2-way street - and I HAVE NOT had an ongoing campaign against you for damn near a year. ONE POST. And I have not had my blog taken down because I've never done to you what you've done to me. This has gone on long enough.

FULL CONVERSATION

Have at it.

[snarky-bee]

for moxie: empress reversed, death reversed, world reversed. for renata: star, chariot reversed

For the artist formerly known as [redacted], Moxie nolastname:

The Empress in Reverse: When has your character felt dependent on another?

ahaha omg wow you have found The Thing. Very easily dependent on another actually. Home life: shit. Just wants to feel like at least someone is looking after her. Ran away from home, fell in with a couple of teens that promised shelter as long as she contributed money and they got her hooked up with running scams and grifts and thefts with them, did not feel she could make it on her own, despite it not being a very *nice* situation stayed with them until the great Badgering incident of [insert date here].

Ayla entirely yes. Moxie started a whole ass business and still only saw herself as being able to have any of it because of Ayla - her home, her gardens, her rescue. Without her what would she be, where would she go.

Duvessa. The only source of her power. Is totally "looking out for me" and "protecting me". Where would she be without her lending powers, how would she have gotten this far without her. If she didn't have Duvessa she wouldn't be capable of anything.

Death in Reverse: When has your character tried to fight change?

Uh? Right now? Actively? The battle between letting Duvessa take away her emotions vs actually processing and learning to accept her own grief. She's in a change phase in her life right now and really hasn't just fully accepted what's happened and what that means. It is an ongoing fight and i fear for anything that may trigger another relapse with this shit.

The World in Reverse: What is your character holding back?

The truth. How many lies she's told herself in the course of making it this far in the adventure.

For Renata Calabria:

The Star: When has your character been most hopeful?

three months after they parted ways, agreeing they wouldn't see each other again, Ari saved Renata's life. A mere 24 hours after nearly dying, Ari forced a confession out of her (oopsie) about how her last partner in the Crows died. They thought it was about like, work partner, but it was her partner, and her lover, Carmen. And she had to admit to killing her own lover. Renata did it. Then got essentially promoted for it.

And she's hated herself for it ever since. but Ari heard it and was the first to tell her that it wasnt her fault, that they wanted to be with her, and that if she ever wanted to talk about it, they would do their best to listen. turned out, she wasnt a completely unloveable monster after all. brought hope for a future where she wasnt as lonely as she had been the last 3 years.

The Chariot in Reverse: When has your character’s pride or arrogance been their downfall?

Re: Carmen. See, the guildmaster told her that carmen had betrayed House Calabria. He lied to her. it wasn't the whole truth. He wanted to see what she would do if she didn't know that they knew she had a romantic thing with carmen. and renata believed him fully, thinking herself the perfect crow but carmen the one to slip up, the one to get angry in training, to complain the loudest. she never thought they actually could have been caught by anyone. it didnt cross her mind. this was carmens own fault and she was pissed at her for it. how could carmen do this to her.

and it was in her own arrogance assuming that she was somehow better, smarter, more loyal, that she bargained additionally to get to train under the poison master of the house in exchange for her help. if she had to do this then at least let her get a reward she deserves. it would be hard on her, but she was a perfect crow, and she still would be after this.

yeah too bad she found out after that carmens betrayal was getting blackmailed. and the blackmail worked because she would do anything to protect renata

[artsy-hobbitses]

Hello!

I know there was a lot questions about Sideswipe and Strongarm( I adore these sillies) but I would love to know how their engagement went?

There's war goin on so they have to be relativly serious but do they wait till the end of an conflict? Who was more nervous? And most inportant how Sunny reacted?

Thank you!❤

And tell me  That we belong together And dress it up with the trappings of love I'll be captivated I'll hang from your lips Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

At the point of time Sides and Strongarm realised that they love each other enough to want to spend a lifetime of good-natured bickering, surprise cuddles and stealing kisses during sparring sessions together, Shockwave has kind of fucked up and awoken what’s been dubbed as UNICRON in redacted government files, so y’know, there’s literally much, MUCH bigger things to be nervous about. 

But they do have a talk about it, about them, because there is a chance one or both of them will not come back from this, and this could be the end of whatever story they’re penning together. 

They might have to close that book and start a new one after the dust settles, and they’re frontliners who have to be pragmatic about it. It’s the nature of their job, they’ve known that since day one taking up that Autobot badge. 

It starts innocently enough, just post-fieldwork thank-god-you’re-back-alive snuggles and silly questions about where they saw themselves if the war was never here to take their minds off the creeping dread of having to face down whatever it is that Shockwave has wrought upon them, because by now it’s been a decade and it’s hard to think about a time before the war or imagine a life after it some days. 

But Sideswipe can imagine it now, more vividly than ever, and he shares his thoughts with Strongarm, who asks him in a half-hearted joking manner if he’s gonna stop pulling her leg because through all of what he’s saying, it’s not just him— it’s “we���, it’s twisted sheets and listening to the rain at 2am over sweet nothings, it’s sleep-in mornings (imagine being able to wake up at 10am again IMAGINE) and puppy snuggles (he knows she’s always wanted a German Shepherd of her own but can’t justify getting a puppy in their current circumstances) and breakfasts at a cozy little table set for two (no more mess hall rush!), and stolen kisses before they leave for some mundane-ass totally normal day job where possible death isn’t on the agenda every time they clock in that punch card, and they can come home to a little piece of bliss that’s all their own and all that matters.

Sideswipe, 100% serious, makes a promise to her that if they make it out of this, it’ll be the first thing he asks her because ten years is more than long enough to decide that he wants the rest of whatever life he’s got left to be spent with her… but if he doesn’t—listen, if he doesn’t—he wants her to move on, find happiness in a better world with someone else because he loves her too much to have her be hung up over him, over pages left unwritten which will never be completed.

Strongarm calls him out again for having literally THE worst timing for these relationship milestones but reluctantly agrees, as long as he remembers this promise and does his best to come back to her because she’s gotten too use to having him as a sparring partner, and finding a new one is more hassle than she’s willing to deal with. (Note that Sideswipe at this point has said he loves her a couple of times, but she’s never really said it back. She’ll usually respond with ‘ditto’, reasoning that he clearly knows how she feels about him)

It’s a promise Sideswipe almost doesn’t get to keep—the ensuing battle nearly kills him (And would have, had it not been for Ratchet’s skills being temporarily boosted by his association with Alchemist Prime) and while he’s (barely) alive, he’s lost his dominant arm, has critical internal injuries and is in a two month-long coma.

Strongarm is a constant by his bedside (she and Sunny take shifts  making sure he doesn’t code and helping with daily therapy to limit his muscle atrophy—it’s around this time that their relationship improves markedly), and while she does try to keep things chipper and talks to him about how the war’s ended, the rebuilding efforts and all the super normal things they get to do now, one night the melancholy and despair sets in and she’s quietly pleading for him to wake up, because she can’t do this.

She thought she could be pragmatic about it, whole soldier’s coda of hope for the best and  prepare for the worst, but she’s not prepared to close their book, she’s not prepared to move on and be happy, and she’s so mad at him for insinuating that was even a possibility without him around. Because she doesn’t want to find someone else. It’s you, it’s always been you; For all the times she knew it killed you a little inside whenever life made you second-best to anything that mattered to you, there had never been anyone else for her from the day you answered her call while she laid dying in that alley and summarily made yourself the No.1 Prick of her heart. 

The next day, quite miraculously, he opens his eyes but is still non-responsive to stimuli.  Ratchet does gently try to temper Strongarm’s surging hopes for a full recovery with situational realism that it’s possible that he won’t be the same/won’t remember certain things and will need rehabilitation to re-learn how to function.

It’s clear however, through his blips of consciousness, that he’s struggling to communicate something between the more rapid blinking and finger twitches, and First Aid decides to get Wheeljack to rig up a little device to help him pick/tap out letters.

Sideswipe is still nonverbal and there’s no guarantee he can even figure out letters yet in his currrent state, but the first thing he manages to spell out is a very garbled “MRAYR EM?” and he slowly—but deliberately—winks at Strongarm.

And Strongarm—always stoic and professional with everyone else—just fucking openly bawls like she’s never bawled before, so much that it initially alarms Sunstreaker and First Aid, but she doesn’t care that it makes her like a madwoman for a hot second before they figure out what exactly Sides was trying to say that provoked this reaction.

Because—she’s laughing through messy, snotty sobs now—you remembered your promise, you remembered, and even when you’re busted to fuck and back and can’t spell for shit it’s the first thing you wanted her to hear, because you have the worst timing on earth and she loves you for it. 

She loves you, she loves you Sergio Saverio, she loves you for the stubborn, foolhardy, courageous, passionate hot mess that you are, she loves you, and the answer is Yes. 

His recovery is gradual and steady (That moment immediately improved Ratchet’s initially prognosis for him, because it showed that his memory was functional and his major neural pathways were still mostly connected), and she’s there every step of the way—it’s poetic bookends to the start of their relationship, when she took the leap of faith in trusting him and he tossed aside any misgivings he had about being involved with her to help save her life and heal from an injury which she was similarly told she wouldn’t fully recover from. 

Their engagement is over the period of a year, as his condition improves bit by bit (there are some things that are permanent—his reflexes/reaction times are shot, he can barely wield his sword, and getting used to his new prosthetic arm is a struggle especially given his circumstances, all of which make him feel even more self-conscious as an ex-soldier, but Strongarm and Sunstreaker both assure him that he’s still their Sideswipe, he’s still whole even if he can’t fight like he used to, and this world which he helped save is one where he never has to fight a day more in his life) and they’re taking this time together to finally do things ‘right’ and make up for his horrible timing as he likes to jest; going on fluffy dates, making a real home together, meeting the parents.

They also BOTH get rings for each other (Sideswipe goes to HotRod, Strongarm goes to Swerve, both who are ELATED to be able to craft non-weapons and keep the secret) and try to re-propose to each other ‘properly’ at the same time, which ends up with both of them bending the knee at the same time for each other over laughter because THE DRIFT IS TOO STRONG and also, who needs proper when this is more fun?

Sunstreaker’s the one who actually helped Sideswipe source a sapphire for the ring intended for Strongarm (he’s still got connections!), and after seeing his brother’s recovery and how Strongarm was there every step of the way, concurs that he was wrong—she’s exactly the right one for Sideswipe, and he’s genuinely never been happier that his baby brother, who’d been starved of love as a child and had always dreamed of a loving family because of that, finally has a chance at it. 

[autisticempathydaemon]

Busybee my dear, hello from a fellow queer trans asain! i would love a matchup if its not too much trouble for you :3c

What song are you currently fixated on?

Oh my god, my friends and I have recently started making monthly playlists and it’s one of my favourite things to do; just curate a playlist over the course of a month!! currently its a load of fnaf living tombstone music BUT I’ve also been obsessed with The Distance by Cake? As a drummer, i absolutely adore the bass of this song!! Or Super Bon Bon by Soul Coughing has also some absolutely amazing drums!! Apart from that, I’m generally in love with everything Crane Wives BUT particularly for this month, the song Back to the Ground is so delicious!!I would put my fave lyrics but then i might have to transcribe the whole song lol. Just- the entire vibe and meaning of the song is so good (like most every crane wives song ill be honest)

Enneagram type?

Oof oh i havent done thay quiz in a hot minute but last i checked i was a 9w1 which definitely speaks to my lazy ass lol. I’m also an INFP?? I’m also a huge DND nerd so I have taken the alignment quiz and im chaotic good id that helps in any way HAHAH!!!

favourite Redacted audio?

100% the whole of avior and starlights playlist. absolutely devastating. i had to pause the playlist several times and lie down for a minute because i was so absolutely insane abt them. i love them so deeply. I’m definitely more drawn to the more plot heavy characters and arcs as compared to like ashers or davids which is more like cute couple moments (not that they dont have plot but its like. ashers playlist vs marcus’s ykyk) but that being said my favourite video of all time is probably elliots HBS video!! He is my favourite boy i will not lie i am so utterly obsessed with him and i would absolutely write pages upon pages abt why i love him and why his character is so my favourite for the ever.

fave platonic boy?

ASHER !! OR GUY!! I love silly dudes and they are peak silly boys. honestly i could see myself being best buds with Guy because we’re both so dirty minded and very clingy silly?? but there are also aspects where i would balance him out, like while i do love being chaotic i also understand the importance of just stfu and being silent every once in a while so i thunk there wld be times where there ARE shenanigans but also times where hes rambling my ears off and i can just sit. and listen. And I do love the hc that Guy plays DND and now i can absolutely imagine us playing dnd together OR binging dnd playthroughs. AND for asher, I feel like i wouldve had a crush on him because hes so like silly but also hes such an absolute sweetheart darling and hes so endearing that u just cant help but love him yk? but it wld be one of those friendship crushes that just means we end up being super close.

what gets the big boy a-snoozin?

anythin thay involved peoples voices. like straight up listenin to people talk absolutely sends me straight to dream land asap!! its kinda specific though like, if its a podcast? I can’t listen to those. the voice quality just sounds different from like a video of someone talking?? to me at least. And i can only fall asleep to videos of people talking (which is lowkey how. i got into boyfriend audios in the first place. amen insomnia). so now i have a sleepin playlist that consists of boyfriend (and girlfriend) audios, video essays about SCP’s and internet drama (shoutout to the right opinion) and also dnd playthroughs!

do u like long form video essays??

I LOVE VIDEO ESSAYS ABOUT SCP’S. i put them on when i cook!! I love ones that just talk abt the SCPs cause some are truly mind boggling and world shattering! I also listen to video essays abt youtuber drama because im not better then that and also a lot of them have quite impressive video editing!

Imaginary friends?

I think as someone who started watching horror movies at a very young age and is also super obsessed with horror movies/books now, i fully believe that if you had a imaginary friend as a child, you’re absolutely cursed and haunted and u need to be exorcised asap. (/j) no my parents were always super realistic with me and told me point blank that santa wasnt real, imaginary friends were only for mentally ill kids, and the only real big guy is the big boy in the sky. so. no imaginary friends BUT i did and still have a teddy bear (very creatively named bear bear) and i used to cry when i lost him.

i think thats it! i hope. thats enoigh haha. oh, some extra stuff abt me! I love cookin food, it’s very fun if not incredibly tiring, plus im perpetually broke, so tryin to cook up my favourite restaurant meals is also fun! I love drinks too (firm believer that every meal NEEDS to have a drink to accompany it) i’m a particularly huge fan of bubble tea (before it was cool ok) i did try to make my own bubble tea but it got really time consuming and not worth it. i love collecting plushies, i have about 10 in my room and yes they absolutely trigger my sinus but its so worth it. i love gamin and one of my first big boy buys was a gamin PC that i used to play Stray, Sims, Minecraft and most recently, FNAF! please pray i save up enough to get BG3. ٩( ᐛ )و

ok now thats really enough! thank you for this!! even if u dont get round to doin a matchup for me, thanks for lettin me ramble abt my interests :3 the questions are actually so fun hehe <333

Oh, I really like you. Not just because you gave me a lot of info to go on but because you and I have so much in common! Us queer, trans, Asian Type Nines have to stick together which is why I’m so pleased to pair you with Lasko.

I know I say this all the time, but it’s the perfect amount of similarities and differences that make a good pair in my opinion. I think your shared love of DnD, your introversion, your queer trans identity (because Lasko is queer and a whole allegory for a trans childhood, bless his heart) would be a great foundation for a solid relationship. Yet, it’s the differences that bring the spark like your love of horror where he would be squeamish or your chaotic good to his lawful.

I have such clear snapshots in my head of what your relationship would be like; if only I were an artist. You remind me of @itsdaifuku’s lovely piece of Dear as a guitarist and Lasko watching, starstruck, from the crowd; that would be you but as the drummer. I also love to imagine the two of you in the kitchen: you cooking, him mindlessly grading papers, an SCP video on, and Lasko looking up aghast when he finally tunes into what you’ve both been listening to.

Song:

I mean she even cooks me pancakes/ And Alka Seltzer when my tummy aches/ If that ain't love then I don't know what love is/ We even got a secret handshake/ And she loves the music that my band makes/ I know I'm young but if I had to choose her or the sun/ I'd be one nocturnal son of a gun

Sorry but not sorry, I’ve projected and given Lasko my elder emo taste in music. It’s cute, it’s iconic, and he’d know all the words- shyly, sheepishly joining in if you start rapping along with it as you cook. I like to imagine 2000’s emo music brings out a silly, karaoke-esque exuberance in Lasko, and then you could be silly together.

Runner-ups:

Milo is one of your runner-ups because (and I know I say this all the time too) it’s so fun to pair that scaredy-wolf with a horror buff. Everything he’s learned about SCPs has been against his will and because he loves you. Hudson is a runner-up because I’m obsessed with pairing musicians with DJ Anxiety; he’d love you and your drumming so much.

note: thank you so much for waiting 💕 I’m glad you had fun!

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[arikad0]

Cadel and Szene have really cool designs! What’s their backstory?

sorry for the late reply but thank you so much!!

Cadel and Szene are two major characters in my story, Oricien. Szene is the leader of the mercenary group the main character, Maizie, is a part of and Cadel is her right hand man. they are also husband and wife :)

I could talk about the backstory of these two for AGES but I'll just sum up the main events in point form to save time akdjslfn

•Cadel is secretly the proper heir to the throne in Oricien's world, but was imprisoned by his father due to him not viewing him as worthy of the title. Cadel was declared legally dead, and his childhood best friend was made next in line instead. Cadel escaped imprisonment with help from another childhood friend of his, and fled out of fear of being imprisoned again or killed (the only one who knows all this is Szene)

•Szene was born into a family well renowned bounty hunters alongside 7 siblings (the most notable being another main cast member, Zepto) and grew up constantly being praised and admired by the other residents of her village. she ended up marrying her childhood best friend, Taryn, and the two ended up having a daughter together. unfortunately over time, Taryn became abusive and manipulative towards Szene, but she refused to leave him

•Cadel arrived in the village a couple years after Szene's daughter was born, and was hired to help with a job that Zepto was assigned to. the two quickly became fast friends, and Zepto introduced Cadel to Szene. Cadel and Szene also quickly developed a strong friendship, and the three ended up spending a lot of time together, much to the anger of Taryn. Szene started spending even more time with Cadel after introducing him to her daughter, mostly because her daughter became extremely attached to him and would always want to spend time with "fun uncle Cadel"

•Cadel, along with Zepto, expressed concern about Taryn's treatment of Szene, but she would constantly brush them off and say that it was nothing to worry about and she could handle it. this didn't sit right with the two, but they told Szene they could come to them if she needed anything, and mutually agreed to keep an eye on things from the side in order to not make the situation worse

•this all came to a head when Taryn's abuse ended up becoming directed towards his and Szene's daughter. Szene defended her daughter and quickly fled with her. she went to Zepto for help, and Cadel was made aware of the situation shortly after. the three agreed to flee the village together, since Szene and Zepto's family took their high reputation very seriously and wouldn't take the news of Szene leaving her husband well at all, even with the events surrounding it

•the three decided to become mercenaries in order to get some extra funds, most of which went to Szene's daughter. this also helped Szene keep her mind off of what had happened with Taryn

•a few months after the three started their mercenary group, Cadel and Szene started to develop feelings for each other and eventually ended up in a relationship. they married a little while afterwards

•one day, Szene and Cadel found a job that paid extremely well, and asked Zepto to watch over their daughter, which was very common. everything was going normal until Zepto and his niece were attacked by [redacted but very important character], and while Zepto tried to defend his niece, he was knocked out cold. Szene and Cadel returned just in time to see what was happening, and as much as they tried to save Zepto and their daughter, unfortunately their daughter was killed in the attack. Szene and Cadel fought back, but they were overpowered, and Szene lost her eye in the process

that's the basic gist of their backstory!! it's extremely simplified and I left out a couple things due to spoilers but yeah akdnskfn

[messenger-of-stupidity]

Save You

This came because of a big brain post by @soup-scope​ and me already wanting to write something about Blake. SO HERE WE GO!

(After writing note: Not entirely happy with the way this came out, but all things considering I will force myself to be happy with it. Maybe I’ll try to fix it or add a mini sequel thing to help it. Whatever. I’m tired and dizzy.)

Redacted Masterlist

Content Warning: Childhood friends-to-unrequited love, Blake, Bestie being called peanut because i find it funny, GN listener character, Not proofread

Summary: It was meant to be friends. But he couldn’t help the fact that they were far too amazing to deserve just his friendship. No, they were divine and he needed to worship them. If only they wanted the same thing...

Soft words and markers. That was how this all started. First grade had been when he had been pulled into your orbit, back when he was too young to really care much about the way you made his chest feel warm when you gave him attention. Or that little smile they would both share when the teacher scolded them for talking instead of focusing on the lesson. He couldn’t care less how addition worked or what a noun was. 

“Can I draw on your hand?” You whispered to him, only a few weeks after the school term had started. He turned to look at you, his brow furrowing a little. He looked down at his palm, as if considering the request.

“Sure.” He said, holding his palm out to you. The marker had tickled as you drew scribbles and shapes, black lines against his skin. Your little designs had trailed past his palm and up his arm but he didn’t have the heart to tell you to stop. The teacher had stopped it once he had laid down on the floor so you could color on the back of his t-shirt. The marker had been taken away after that and you had been sent to the corner to be in time-out. 

Blake had spent the time of their punishment gathering markers for when you returned. Your wide grin had been enough thanks. 

On halloween of seventh grade, Blake sat silently in your room as you carefully wet the wax paper of the temporary tattoos on his wrist. A matching one already gleamed on the inside of your wrist. The cold of the washcloth didn’t even bother him. His eyes were glued at where your knees were pressed against his own on your bed. 

“We should get matching permanent tattoos when we get older.” You said suddenly. He looked at you, brow creasing. There were lots of stories of reasons why someone shouldn’t get matching tattoos. Not that he doubted that the friendship he shared with you would end. No, Blake would still be there with you. For you. By your side, forever. He wouldn’t leave you to be alone.

“Alright then.” He relented without any push. You gave a small nod, going quiet with concentration again.

You peeled the washcloth after a couple minutes, lowering your head to blow on the wax paper. His breath caught in his throat as he felt your breath dance across his skin. Goosebumps prickled on his back as his heartbeat picked up. Then you pressed on the paper before peeling it off carefully. Slowly. He relished the warmth of your hand you pressed on his elbow to keep it steady. He would stay as still as he needed just to keep you close. 

“There. Now we’re matching temporarily.”

He didn’t let that tattoo fade for months. It was a symbol that connected him to you and it was a reminder of the moment he realized he loved you.

“I can’t do this!” You whined, tossing the flashcards up into the air. Blake watched the white rectangles with highlighted words scatter all over the floor of his room. He snickered and started to gather them up again. You watched him sullenly from your perch on his desk chair. He looked up at you.

“You can, you’re just too stubborn to actually dedicate yourself to it.” He teased gently. You stuck your tongue out at him and he laughed again. He held the gathered flashcards out to you again and nodded to them. “Try again, Peanut.” He nudged. You stared at the flashcards before grabbing them and grumbling about choosing to learn German instead of Spanish or something. He released an amused huff and picked back up his pencil to start copying down a few of the other phrases.

He didn’t take German, taking a different foreign language elective instead. But you had complained about how ‘the words are all consonants and it’s stupid!’ so he had started making flashcards for you. 

“Wanna know my favorite German word, Blake?” You asked, breaking the silence. You were stalling needing to study the phrases. But he looked up from the flashcards, brows raised. You smirked and crossed your arms in front of you as you spun in his desk chair. “Schweinehund.” You finished. His nose wrinkled.

“Schweinehund? Pig... hound?” He said slowly, trying to pull the context clues. You nodded.

“Pig dog.” You corrected. That made sense. The shift from hound to dog, not why it was your favorite word. He snorted regardless and reached out to stop the spinning chair.

“Study the flashcards I’m working hard to make for you.” He ordered, a teasing lilt still present to his voice. You laughed and his smile widened. It was better than the hopeless dull look that had been in your eyes earlier. Good. 

It only took you a few more minutes before tossing the flashcards at him again. 

He gave a shake of his head, a flashcard sliding off the crown of his head. He tucked his pencil behind his ear and gave you a deadpan stare. Your smile turned sheepish and you flicked one of the flashcards off your lap to flutter to the floor. 

“We should order pizza instead of studying.” You declared. He gave a firm shake of his head. He would let you stall by throwing the flashcards at him all you wanted, but he wasn’t going to let you give up. Besides...

“You have a German test tomorrow, Peanut.” He pointed out. You shrugged apathetically at him. Yet he knew the moment the last period came around you were going to feel panicked. He pulled out his phone and set a timer. “Thirty minutes of studying the flashcard phrases - and I mean studying, not talking or throwing them at me - and then I’ll buy you pizza and a drink. Deal?” He asked. He had never seen you jump of the chair and gather the flashcards as quickly as you did now. 

You didn’t return to his desk though, instead sitting on the floor with your back against his. He was the more distracted of the two of you during that half hour.

“Blake, Maria, and...” Mrs. Wynier glanced down at her list of trios for the group project. Blake’s fingers were crossed under his desk as his gaze flicked towards where you sat next to him. You seemed blissfully unaware of the way the teachers would smirk a little before saying your name in relation to his own. He noticed it though and it made his face feel warmer than it was a moment before. And just as he expected, the smirk settled into place and then the group was finished with your name. You turned towards him, hands raising into the air. He slapped his palms against your own, a matching goofy smile tugging on his face. He didn’t even mind that there was another person in the group, as long as he got to be with you.

It didn’t bother him either that Maria refused to do any of the hard work, instead playing around with the google presentation as you and Blake researched the information. That just meant he could spend more time with you. 

“Hey, do you think I could just use Wikipedia instead of this stupid edu website?” You whispered to him. He glanced at you, a smile tugging on his lips as he gave a small shake of his head. You stared at him before snickering and then returning to the computer, continuing your search for information on the topic of dominant and recessive genetics. 

“And then she chose this horrid fuschia to color the presentation! I thought my eyes were going to burn out of my head!” You bitched as you and Blake sat at the table of the restaurant with the rest of the friends you both shared. He was sitting next to you, casually pretending not to notice the way you stole his french fries. One of your friends glanced towards him and he nodded his confirmation. It had been an ugly color, only made worse when Maria had colored the font a burning bright cyan color. It had turned into an acid trip, but the information within the horrible presentation had been plentiful. Blake decided not to let you know that he had told the teacher who had done what and Maria was getting a zero on the presentation due to her lack of contribution. 

He watched from the corner of his eye as you stole another french fry from his container. He decided to put a stop to it and grabbed onto your wrist. He turned his face towards you as you glanced at him with no sign of apology written on your face.

“You gotta ask nicely, Peanut.” He teased. You stole a french fry with your other had and gave him a smug grin as you ate it. He laughed and let go of your wrist. His smile faltered a moment as the other kids exchanged an odd look. Similar to the look the teachers gave but without the slight amusement. Well, a few of them looked amused. Blake ignored it and took a sip from his soda.

He got another look from their shared friends as he handed you a hoodie a few days later. No, he didn’t have any ulterior motives. No, it wasn’t because it made that Marcus kid stop looking at you with a nervous look. No, it wasn’t because he felt a sense of pride and satisfaction when he watched you tug it on. It was just because you were cold. So what if it was March?

Blake’s finger traced gentle circles and stars on your hand as you wrote down notes with your other hand. You glanced at him with a raised brow.

“What are you doing?” You asked. He smiled sheepishly and pulled his hand back, gaze dropping down to his notebook, as if he could avoid you noticing what he hid in his gaze. Apparently not very well hid if the teachers and their friends had noticed though. He should probably work on that. 

“I was just drawing on your skin.” He murmured in a quick excuse. A lie. He had been drawing designs, but he just liked the feeling of your skin. You never shied away from his touch. Questioned the purpose, sure. But you never pulled away. Luckily his excuse was believable. There were times you still took a marker, pen, or - your favorite to use, especially to write swears - a sharpie to his skin. You seemed to accept his excuse as you nodded and returned to taking notes. His grip on his pencil relaxed. He hadn’t even realized his hold was clenching. He exhaled slowly and leaned his face into his hand as suddenly the air of the classroom felt to warm. You were so close to him, and for the first time it made him feel more nervous than it usually did. This crush thing was starting to grow tedious. 

But he could wait for you. He would wait for you.

Except waiting turned from one month to three, then six. Then a year. One year turned to two, then three. You still remained by his side, and he by yours. But every moment with you was like a hand was closing around his heart, only allowing it to beat when he was holding you in some kind of way. So that’s what he did. Whenever the pair was walking, his hand was within your own. When you had movie nights, either with him or the rest of your friend group, he had an arm over your shoulder or you were sat between his legs and leaning back against his chest. 

His hand was tracing designs on your wrist as you moved your monopoly piece.

“Can I call you dreamer then?” You asked him. He had told you that his magic had manifested as a dreamwalker. Your magic had manifested a few months prior. He wrinkled his nose at you and you smiled at him. 

“If you want, Peanut.” He responded, his voice slightly sarcastic. You laughed before paying him the rent required for the property you had landed on. He didn’t bother counting to see if it was the right amount - it wasn’t, you were near broke and decided to conserve your funds. 

“Don’t worry. I won’t.” You assured and he let out a sigh, fingers still tracing designs. At first it had seemed weird, but you had just accepted the fact that Blake was a very touchy person and after a bit it had grown comforting. He had figured out how to drift his fingers on your skin so it didn’t raise goosebumps, but rather just was comforting presence. 

Now that you thought about it, being a dreamwalker was rather fitting. He always helped you feel relaxed. 

“It’s kind of cool though. That means you can do some insane dream magic. I’ve read up on some of the dream complexes that have been built. It seems complicated. I suppose you’ll learn how to do that.” You added, continuing the conversation, although Blake seemed content to just trace designs on your skin and silently play the game. 

“If I go into magic oriented career. Or security dreams.” He murmured. You both were sophomores. Close enough to start thinking about your future but still far away enough that there was still time. You snuck a few monopoly money from his messy piles of the colored paper. He pretended not to notice.

“You don’t seem very excited about being a dreamwalker, Blake.” You murmured quietly. He swallowed and didn’t look at you as he silently counted the spaces between where his model needed to place. 

“Right...” He mumbled. He seemed distracted somehow, as if thinking about something. You sighed and just left him to his thoughts, continuing playing the game.

Blake left your house a few hours later, walking towards his own home down the street. He hated lying to you, especially when he could still feel the warmth of your skin under his fingertips. Dreamwalker. It had seemed easier than explaining he had woken up in a cold sweat with the sight of his death painted behind his eyelids. He pushed back his hair with a groan. Seer. 

Powerful magic, but not exactly what he had been hoping for. At least other types of magic could be learned and he could learn enough Dreamwalking magic to keep up this lie. At least until he decided to drop it and tell you. You with your sweet smile. You with the way you let him drift his fingertips, tracing the designs you drew on his skin all those years ago, onto your own palm and forearm. The silly little scribbles and shapes. He could almost feel the marker on his skin still. He didn’t ever want that feeling to go away, the chance to be near you. Death would rip him from you. And if that vision of his death was to be believed, your eyes wouldn’t be the last thing he saw. Which was frustrating.

But... what if... that was just simply an event after a lifetime by your side? With you. Close to you. Blake’s eyes widened and he ran the rest of the way home. He ignored his parent’s alerting him to dinner being ready, going up to his room. They would let him. They had been tip-toeing around him since learning what had woken him up last night. 

He sat on his bed for hours, trying to figure out how to direct the magic in his core towards following the stringed path of your future. Little flickers of images, too brief and then the sight of his room would greet him again. Was it because he wasn’t touching you? Did he need physical contact? Blake huffed and glared at the wall, frustration building. What was the point of being seer if he didn’t even know how to direct the magic in the path that he wanted? 

He stood up and moved towards his closet. After a little bit of digging, he pulled out one of your sweaters. He had insisted you leave it in his home the last sleepover you both had shared. Luckily he managed to convince you that it was because this way you would have a sweater at his home if you ever needed it. It still smelled faintly like you. The smell grounded him, calming his frustration. Just a few more tries and then he would give up and go to sleep.

...

They all were fruitless. 

He huffed and folded your sweater into his dresser and went to bed. Better to just sleep the time away that separated him from you.

He was running, heart in his throat. Dread filled his veins like a vile ichor, slowing him down. No. He needed to be faster. He needed to be there. Wait... where was so urgent?

“Peanut!” He shouted out, eyes wide with panic. Why was he so panicked? Why did it make his heart freeze up? That tight grip. He needed to be close to you, to touch you. It would make it go away. Where were you?

Your front door... why... why was it hanging all crooked like that? The dread suddenly made sense. And for once he was hoping you weren’t home. That you were somewhere far away from here and he was mistaken, not knowing where you were. His steps slowed and he creeped inside. It didn’t surprise him that shattered belongings littered the floor. Furniture was scattered, without any kind of pattern. But that was all. A good sign, right? So why did dread still stain every breath he forced into his lungs?

“Peanut?” He repeated, his voice softer. He trailed down the hall. The framed pictures on the wall were either cracked or crooked. Everything screamed struggle, danger long passed. He moved towards your bedroom door. The hall carpet was slightly squishy and he looked down. Stains. Red stains. He lifted worried eyes to your closed door. Copper filled his nose and went down his throat, layering over his taste buds. Blood. But there was no sound in the house. He already knew what was wrong without needing to open the door.

Blake woke up, but the images were flashing across his vision. His palms were clammy and shivers tore his body. Not a sequence of events anymore, but your skin had gone pale with death. Lifeless eyes stared at the ceiling, your body mangled and twisted. 

“No!” His voice came out as ravaged as your body had been. Dead. You had been dead. And you hadn’t looked that different from how you did now. His hands were reaching for his phone, shakily dialing your phone number. 

Each dial tone was like torture lasting years. He almost emptied the contents of his stomach with relief when your sleepy voice filtered through the receiver.

“Mm?” You hummed. Not words, but a reassurance of your state of being alive. 

“H-Hey. Can... can we go to the park tonight? I... I miss you.” He said. He would keep you with him. If he didn’t need to run to your home, that means that the vision couldn’t happen right? He would just need to stick by your side. That’s all. He could save you. He needed to save you.

[pimento-playing-hopscotch]

Seven Sentence Sunday

Thank you for the tag, @lemonlyman-dotcom @carlos-in-glasses 🥰🫶

This is for my TK has a little sister fic-

2011-

Sophie hovered in the doorway. “TK, do… you hate me?”

TK sighed. He had been thinking there hadn’t been any way he could feel more regret about the last twelve hours of his life. But for the four hundredth time- in the last day alone- he was wrong.

“I don’t hate you, Soph,” TK said. “And I should be asking you that. I’m lucky if you don’t hate me after these last couple months. You want to come in?” His sister glanced down the hallway, then came in and perched on the corner of her brother’s hospital bed. “I think Mom’s still talking to the doctor”. TK said. His sister nodded, but still looked nervous.

“You have every right to be mad”. Sophie told him. “Dad wouldn’t have [redacted] if it wasn’t for me. And Carson…”

“Soph, if Dad hadn’t [redacted] then [redacted] would have,” TK told her. “And Carson broke up with me because I’m an idiot. That wasn’t your fault”. TK bit down on his lip; things from the last couple months were starting to creep back into his head. Not good things. “I never should have told you that it was because of you”. TK nudged his sisters arm. “That was really shitty of me”.

No pressure tagging- I tag @dreamingofmickeywaffles @sznofthesticks @reyestrandd @tailoredshirt @firstprince-history-huh @sugdenlovesdingle @eclectic-sassycoweyes @thebumblecee @ellena-asg and anyone else who wants to do it- open tag 💝

[utilitycaster]

Hello! I’m interested in that redacted meta rant about Fjord and Caduceus’ friendship mentioned recently; especially in context of why Cad would bow out of this adventure.

Is the implication that he might want to see Fjord grow without further clerical guidance in regards to worship of the Wildmother?

Hi! So it's actually much simpler: Caduceus does not care for the ocean and very much wants to have some time to spend at home with his family. As he puts it in 2x141, he occasionally goes on walkabouts and adventures, but "every couple of years". It's been a few months since the campaign ended for this adventure; he is still having his Much Needed Downtime.

I think I do need to address the obvious which is that if Caduceus's Divine Intervention that resulted in Kingsley had failed, then yeah, Caduceus would probably be here. But it didn't, and this is the story, and it's not out of character for Caduceus to politely decline.

The reason I specifically mentioned this is that the fandom often assigns greater import to Caduceus and Fjord's relationship than there ultimately was. It's very understandable, but Caduceus and Fjord have long since realized that they are incredibly different people with rather incompatible ideals who worship very different aspects of one deity in very different ways. While the fandom often thought Fjord should become more and more like Caduceus, in-game, both characters fairly quickly come to understand that Fjord's arc is his own, and Caduceus plays a crucial part at the inflection point, but Fjord then continues on. They're friends! Everyone in the Nein is! But even setting aside Fjord's romantic relationship with Jester, he relates more to and is closer with Beau and Caleb than Caduceus, and both of them are well aware of that.

I'd have to do more digging than I have time for, to be honest, to find all the Talks and episode references, but Taliesin said that Caduceus does tend at times to see people like projects, and once Fjord is back on somewhat even footing - the reforged sword, the return of his pact magic, the tentative beginnings of a paladin oath - they have one more conversation, the one where he gives Fjord the holy symbol and talks about deception. It becomes pretty quickly apparent to Caduceus that actually, Fjord is pretty comfortable with his personal moral code, and needed guidance specific to the Wildmother but is going to follow his own path - as he should, since a paladin of the oceanic aspect of a deity would, logically, have a very different relationship to her than a cleric of the mortality and natural order aspects.

I don't want to diminish Caduceus's role in Fjord's development, because it is absolutely crucial, and I don't think anyone else could have been there for Fjord right after he broke his pact in 2x72 in quite the same way. But Fjord has been quite confident in how he worships the Wildmother since at least post-Rexxentrum arc, or at least confident that he needs to find his own way forward, which is why taking his oath is a private thing and why, pretty much from the start of the Eiselcross arc, his and Caduceus's relationship turns to more of a bantering one and even one in which Fjord is the one wondering what Caduceus might need and being the one on which Caduceus and others can rely on. (More generally...for all people talk about wanting more gray area w/r/t the deities, they actually really struggle to grasp the vastness of the Wildmother's domain and how Fjord and Caduceus are actually great examples of the diversity in-world in divine worship; this is frankly also a giant separate tangent but as always, I do blame evangelical protestantism.)

Basically what I was trying to say there is "Fjord and Caduceus are good friends, but if you're asking 'how could Fjord defeat Uk'otoa without Caduceus there', you clearly skipped the entire post-hiatus story in which Fjord does quite a lot without Caduceus's guidance, and Caduceus has his own quiet crisis that Fjord and Jester monitor from afar."

[running-tweezers]

You know a couple weeks ago I was struggling to find a reason to keep going. All I could see was the big loud ugly bad drowning the little good out.

Now suddenly I’m sitting on my back porch with a little drink. My neighbors are cooking something outside and I can smell the fire. I’m talking to my best friends. I’m telling them about the latest Redacted Early Access video and how much I loved it. One of those best friends was generous enough to surprise me with the money to switch to the highest tier for the month, just bc it would make me happy. I have things from that coming in the mail. The three of us have plans to go to a con next month. My husband’s bringing home a fancy doughnut from work tonight for me. I’m about to start working on a silly little story with my OCs I’ve been writing.

And suddenly things seem like they might be ok.

[voulezloux]

Hello hello I am here to bother you <3

What’s your comfort movie or tv series?

And what’s a quote from a book that stuck with you?

Hope you have a great day 🫶

this is gonna expose me so hard oh my GOD

my comfort tv shows have been niche one off shows that were on netflix for the longest time before being taken off and i’ve been unable to find them since 😭😭 shows like cheapest weddings that’s from australia, frisky business about a sex toy company called lovehoney from the uk, shit like that. if they were vhs tapes, i’d wear them down so bad that’s how much i watched these shows. my comfort movie is the recording of shrek the musical 😭 it’s literally one of my favorite musicals to ever be made unironically. i have a tattoo for it and i even referenced it in my big bang fic. it was on netflix for the longest time before i was taken off in the past couple years, and i legit had a bit of a panic attack before i found out i could buy it for streaming on amazon prime. i do plan to eventually get a physical copy of the musical just in case!

i could not for the life of me remember literally any quote from any book i’ve read (it’s more of the impact of the overarching story than a quote itself for me) and it’s been so long since i’ve been able to sit down and read a book (i’m very ashamed of this too) so instead i’ll recommend books ive read in the past that i loved growing up

it’s kind of a funny story - ned vizzini

the giver - lois lowry

copper sun - sharon m. draper

endangered - eliot schrefer

flowers for algernon - daniel keyes

number the stars - lois lowry

the outsiders - s. e. hinton

paper towns - john green

the giver is honestly my all time favorite book and i fucking despise the movie adaptation of it (sorry meryl streep) i once annotated and lent my copy of it to my high school boyfriend who then broke up with me a month later and never gave it back so get fucked [redacted]

a lot of these books i read as apart of english courses throughout school, save for it’s kind of a funny story and paper towns. there’s something that john green said in a vlogbrothers video about paper towns that i cannot for the life of me find. i found a scathing review from 2012 about it’s kind of a funny story where they put a 2012 mindset on a book published in 2006. im not say that it makes up for what they said was bad about the book, but it lends itself to why there were ignorant things written in the book. ned vizzini also wrote be more chill, which is also a musical apparently, and sadly took his own life at the end of 2013. it’s kind of a funny story is written based on his stints in psychiatric wards and it hits harder considering the circumstances around his death

copper sun i read in 8th grade and it’s a very good read. i read it so fast that i finished it before i was supposed to (nerd) and my english teacher had us do an assignment where we predicted the end of the book. i asked him what do i do since i finished the book and he told me to act like i didn’t finish the book and pretend to predict the ending. i obviously did not do that and instead gave the ending away and drew a crude stick figure depicting it

flowers for algernon fucking hurts. it’s both a book that makes you feel great and then it takes it away from you because you were feeling too great. i still recommend it bc while it hurts, the story itself is still wonderful. the outsiders is a pretty standard read for middle school kids and still a great book. we read it in 7th grade and watched the movie during the last week of school. number the stars is about the holocaust and two friends with one being jewish living in a nazi occupied town. there’s one scene that has stuck with me for years since i’ve read the book where someone is killed by firing squad by nazi soldiers (i won’t spoil who) and i can’t remember if it happened on screen in the book or im confusing it with the death by firing squad scene in the film life is beautiful (which is also about the holocaust and made my entire 8th grade english class cry) which happens off screen. endangered is about a teen girl trying to save a group for bonobos during a country’s civil war. its apart of a four part series by this author called the ap quartet

sorry to ramble but thank u for asking 🥺