#this is a little bit personal experience but no matter

[fanged-fanfics]

Hello! If it's not too much to ask, can you do the TFP Decepticons with a femme Cybertronian [(S/O) or platonic] that's like Rouge The Bat from Sonic? In terms of personality and her being a thief?

☆ Stolen Sparks — TFP Decepticons x Fem Reader HCs ☆

Genre: Fluff || she/her pronouns for reader || No warnings needed

A/N: There's more than just Megatron in the post I promise I'm just using him as the fic image cause I couldn't find a picture with all the Decepticons I included 😭

──────.𖥔 ݁ ˖˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ──────

Megatron:

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Despite his attempts, Megatron could never seem to track you down for long. You kept evading his notice, working as a rogue and stealing from whoever you please. It annoyed him at first... but he found his feelings shifting

ᯓᡣ𐭩 He was intrigued by you before long. What did you want for, were you working for someone else or purely yourself? A faction of thieves, maybe? He became determined to get to know you

ᯓᡣ𐭩 To your surprise, he could out-maneuver you. Turns and tricks that usually worked would get you caught, and you found yourself intrigued above all else. Though you loved to give up a chase, you couldn't resist humoring his conversation

ᯓᡣ𐭩 If he were being honest, it was more than just your efficiency to fulfill your own gain that pulled him in. It was the glances, the claws you'd trail against his plating, the flirting. It consumed his processor entirely, and he felt a drive to be close to you because of it, to experience it all over again every day

Starscream:

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Starscream was a bit harder to charm, he saw you as a direct threat to his reign and someone who could bring down what he's been working so hard to build

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Your cooing and little snarky comments made him irritated the most, and he was determined to find a way to stop your meddling. He talked about you constantly, always thinking about your next move, and always thinking of you over the littlest things

ᯓᡣ𐭩 It took some external prodding from Knockout for him to come to the sudden realization that he'd become infatuated with you. He couldn't help it, but he had no idea how it managed to sneak up on him. How you so effortlessly stole his spark like you'd done to countless treasures

ᯓᡣ𐭩 It wasn't long before you could pick on him about fumbling in battles and suddenly losing what little composer he had. He just couldn't focus anymore, because now when you got in his face to tease, all he could think of was the proximity of your frames

Soundwave:

ᯓᡣ𐭩 You thought it a fun challenge to see if you could get some sort of reaction out of the notoriously stoic Decepticon, but he never once spoke a word to you, no matter how many little jabs you gave him

ᯓᡣ𐭩 He spoke more with actions. He always knew your next move, and had plenty of Cassettes to set you back if you got out of line or threatened Megatron's cause. Other than that, he seemed more passive towards you

ᯓᡣ𐭩 You were surprised when you began finding trinkets and treasures being practically gifted to you. They were left out in obvious spots around your usual stops, and sometimes you'd catch a glimpse of the Officer warding off other bots who tried to pick them up before you

ᯓᡣ𐭩 You would start back up chatting at Soundwave, noting the little signs he gave in body language and his gifts that he'd been paying attention to your preferences. He didn't respond to any flirting outwardly, but definitely never shied away from your words

Shockwave:

ᯓᡣ𐭩 The logical but completely amoral, getting ahead of Shockwave was nearly impossible. He didn't rise to any of your bait, disabled any traps, and even mocked back when you goaded him

ᯓᡣ𐭩 With his unyielding stoicism, you were more than a little convinced that you were always the winner of your little play-fights, since he seemed to completely miss any hint you threw at him

ᯓᡣ𐭩 What you learned after he won a small scuffle between you two is you weren't the only one playing this little game. Intellectual challenges are where Shockwave excelled, and him letting you win was to prolong this habit you shared, of challenging the other into doing their best

ᯓᡣ𐭩 You both agree to mutually maintain this system for as long as possible, chasing each other in this friendly war of tactics that honestly has made you feel closer to the scientist than ever, especially when he reciprocates your sly remarks

Airachnid:

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Running into the spidery fembot was a dangerous bet— you'd heard plenty about what she was capable of, and you always tried to keep on your best wits when around anything she considered her territory

ᯓᡣ𐭩 When Airachid inevitably did catch you, she was surprisingly not keen on the though of tearing you apart. Instead, she told you all the potential she saw in you, and all the success you two could have when working together

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Whether you agree or deny, she's always in your plans from that day forth. Either by aiding your work and complimenting your efficiency, or by undermining your plans the same way you always do to others

ᯓᡣ𐭩 In cooperation or opposition, you two are evenly matched. Airachnid knows how to trip you up, and you know how to evade her fangs. No matter what you pick, she finds you alluring, and desires to someday have you as her own little treat

[wlwsoccerfics]

My Restless Mind(LiaWältiXArsenalReader)

Warning: Life With ADHD(Personal experiences are all over this piece of Work),mental health, medication

Summary: ADHD often means your mind and Body are restless. Sometimes you ask yourself how you have gotten so lucky to have found the right Person for yourself that loves everything about you. Even when you sometimes can't love yourself.

It was 4am and you were awake again. Like every single morning. Didn't matter If you were still tired because your mind was racing already. So this was the end of your night. Thankfully your girlfriend Lia was still sleeping. Because you always would feel bad whenever you end up waking her this early in the day. But she always tells you that she wouldn't have moved in with you If she would mind getting woken up by you in the middle of the night.

You crawled out of bed to take a shower. First you always would take a cold shower. Before changing it up to hot water. Washing your hair and body. After that you stepped out of the shower and fried yourself off. Putting on a black sports bra, an Arsenal hoodie and some black shorts. You then went to brush your hair before walking into the kitchen. Originally you went in there to grab something to drink but then you noticed the Apples on your kitchen counter and suddenly remembered that you wanted to make an Apple Pie last night before you got distracted by the book you wanted to read. It was almost 5am now. You knew Lia wouldn't be awake for at least one more hour so you decided to bake that Apple Pie now.

You just got done with the Apple Pie and put it in the oven when someone walked up behind you.

"Schatzi?(Darling) Did you wake up in the middle of the night again?" She asked and hugged you from behind. You leaned into her. Closing your eyes for a moment.

"i did. no matter how much i try to get my mind to rest it won't work! I tried medication, therapy, breathing exercsies...nothing works for me and it is upsetting!"you admitted and sniffled softly. Lia turned you around gently. Kissing your forehead.

"we could talk to your doctor again. maybe sleeping pills are the answer? cause your adhd meds don't really help you to settle down right?" She stated. You looked at her. Biting down on your bottom lip.

"yeah maybe. i just hate taking meds in general cause they make me feel like i am an outside Person looking in!" You explained to her. Lia gently grabbed your face with her hands so you had to look at her.

"Schatzi, don't get mad when i ask this, but have you stopped taking your meds? cause you are a little more all over the place then usually." Lia was curious and a bit concerned If she was being honest. You stayed quiet for a moment. Which kind of said more than words could.

"i have. i somehow feel worse when i take them!" You explained to her and tears started streaming down your face. She pulled you close, kissing your head. You hide your face in her hair, your entire Body shaking from the sobs. Lia stroked your back gently.

"even if you can't love yourself right now and hate those parts about you that are different? I will be here to love all of you!" Lia whispered into your ear. Your sobs turned almost silent before fully stopping.

"how did i get so lucky to have you in my life and that you love me enough for the both of us!?!" You whisper out. Kissing her softly. She kissed you back gently.

You quickly realized that the Apple Pie was still in the oven and managed to get it Out in time. Not without burning your Hand though. Your girlfriend Sprung into action when you whimpered in pain. She made sure you held it under. some lukewarm water before putting some cream onto it and bandaged it up.

"does it feel better now Baby?" She asked you and kissed the side of your head gently. Wrapping her arms around you one the couch.

"yes it does." You mumbled out. "Thank you!" you added before your eyes closed and you fell asleep for a bit. Lia was quite thankful that you got a few minutes of Peace cause she always hated when you couldn't sleep. Knowing how hard it is for you when you wanted to sleep but couldn't cause your mind kept you awake.

She let you rest for two hours before waking you up because the two of you had to get ready for practice. It was always kind of funny to you how focused you were on the pitch. And how great your mind was working when it came to football. Your mind away from the pitch wasn't as collected cause you had so many things running through there. You could Focus on three Things at once If all of those things interested you. Like you could read a book, Talk with someone and watch a movie at the same time and you knew exactly what you read, saw and talked about. Not many people could do that! So that was Not too bad. Right?

Practice was great and you went to dinner with the Team afterwards. Enjoying the night with them and that night you actually managed to sleep better.

[putschki1969]

The "rito" Situation

Following my post about Hitoshi Konno, I thought it would only be fitting, to round up some info on rito as well, especially after the most recent announcement. When the detailed lineup for YKL Vol#21 was released, many people were not only shocked by Keiko's absence, they were also wondering why rito was not included. I received as many questions about her as I did for Hitoshi Konno but I didn't really feel qualified to talk about her (I still don't really but now we have a bit more information to work with). There's not much to say here and also, her connection to Kalafina (and Keiko's situation) is peripheral at best so I will keep this short.

Today, on January 31 2025, rito announced her departue from Highway Star. Her contract will officially end on March 31 and it seems like no attempts have been made by either rito or the agency to extend said contract. It sounds like it was mostly rito's own decision to distance herself from her current situation so that would also explain why she's no longer participing in YK events as regular member. Judging from her personal comment and Yuki's tweets on the matter (she has nothing but kind things to say about her), this is most likely a standard case of moving on due to a lack of creative opportunities. Perhaps she didn't find what she was looking for or she simply exhausted all possible avenues at Highway Star or maybe she had hoped to gain more from her collaboration with Yuki, who knows. Obviously, these have been some valuable experiences for her but now she is seeking new paths.

Even to a casual onlooker like myself it does feel like she kinda fell along the wayside during these past few years and not much was invested in her. As far as I know, she did have a couple of solo releases and a dedicated song from Yuki on the PARADE album but other than that, nothing much to write home about. Her appearances at lives and events were a great bonus of course but despite frequently being referred to as "regular member", both her and Lino Leia didn't have a lot to do. Maybe that's changing now with all the restructering taking place but sadly, rito will mostly likely not benefit from that. Yuki did include her in one of her "top secret" recordings from last year so we'll see if that will lead to anything at least. It's a shame she wasn't used more, I like her voice a lot more than Lino's tbh and it fits better with Yuki's style of music if you ask me...but one has to admit that Lino is the more seasoned singer among them with what appears to be a lot more experience handling her own solo stuff so my best guess is that she's quite happy with the current arrangement since she can effectively juggle all of her activities. In contrast, rito seems to have been a newbie with no established solo career. Also not sure about their exact age but I'd assume that rito is probably a bit younger than a lot of Yuki's other vocalists (could be completely off on that though, I've honestly no idea how old any of them are but rito just comes across as quite young).

Circling back to Kalafina for a little bit here. Just the other day I was having some discussions in the reply section of one of my posts and among other things, I was talking about why Hikaru (and even Keiko) would have never considered signing up with Highway Star during all these years. After all, Keiko could have just as well joined Highway Star instead of Tristone back in 2020 when she made her solo debut. And Hikaru has been a struggling freelancer for quite some time now so a contract with a seemingly decent agency (with the added bonus of an official Yuki Kajiura affiliation) would have sounded like a good idea to me. We don't know of course if it was entirely their choice or if Highway Star (and Yuki) were not willing to negotiate something with them. Whatever the reason might have been, now I am thinking it was maybe for the best that they never joined. Their management of rito was certainly not great.

[glam0urgh0ull]

CAN WE KNOW ANYTHING MORE ABOUT ZACH AND JEFF? Or with zach and any other characters like EJ and/or Toby?

YES OF COURSE, YALL DONT KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE WHEN YOU GUYS ASK ABOUT ZACHARY!! 🙈

-----------------------------------------------

Zachary's relationships with Other Pr⦻xies/Pastas!

➳ Jeff the Killer 🔪

Jeffery Woods exhibits very severe antisocial and sociopathic behavior. He’s frustrated with everyone around him trying to understand him when he can barely understand himself. He has a negative outlook on life and is very selfish and narcissistic, these feelings lead to frequent fits of violent rage. All of these factors make Jeffery Woods a very hard person to get along with, many of the proxies have actually come to dislike Jeff due to his poor behavior. Except for one, Zachary Phelps.

Zachary is an irresponsible and aggressive jackass, and one of the few proxies who are consistently affected by the Slender Sickness. The reality-warping torture messing with his head, his drug addiction-along with the brutal withdrawals-has only making things worse, wearing down what little sense of reason he had left.

Zachary and Jeff will often act as if they’re both one second away from tearing each other's throats out, but in reality, the two of them are practically joined at the hip. Both are short-tempered, irrational, and prone to violence-and when nights out doesn't go according to plan, then all hell will break loose in no time. Verbal arguments will quickly escalate into full-on brawls until somebody pulls them apart or they are too beat up to continue. But for all the screaming, swinging, and shit-talking, they’re both very oddly attached to each other.

➳ Toby Erin Rogers 🍂

Toby Erin Rogers is infinitely more understanding and empathetic when put side by side with proxies like Jeffery Woods and Zachary Phelps. He is absolutely loyal to Slenderman, following every order, mission, and task without question.

However, unlike the rest, Toby would have clear boundaries when it comes to people he kills for Slender. He will not lay his hands on any women or children, because he believes that would make him too much like the man his stepfather was. Thankfully, Slenderman has never challenged this rule and Toby has thus far been able to enforce it without any punishment. However, Zachary is the kind of guy who goes in and out with a bang-explosives, guns, whatever gets the job done in the most destructive way. Collateral damage? Civilians caught in the crossfire? Doen't faze him one bit. Every stunt he pulls, the risks of getting arrested skyrocket, but he simply does not care.

Toby, on the other hand, hates the recklessness, the complete disregard for innocent lives, and the lack of control involved in it. Being around Zachary is a draining experience, as it is like standing next to a box of flares with lit fuses and awaiting an inevitable explosion. But Zachary? He loves Toby. Not in a way he'd ever say out loud, but deep down, he admires him. Sees in him something he could never be-someone with restraint, someone who still has their shit together. Someone who still gives a damn.

➳ Eyeless Jack 🩻

Eyeless Jack, previously known as Jack Nyras, was a medical student with a bright future ahead of him—until the night when fate took a turn on him. Jack was lured into the forest and sacrificed by a girl whom he had trusted. He was made into some grotesque, monstrous demon, cursed with an insatiable hunger for flesh. His body, animalistic and twisted, served as a further reminder of the disgusting, vile creature that he had come to truly detest with every passing day.

Jack struggles to accept what he has become and what he's done for Slenderman. The countless lives he has taken just because of his own gluttony leaves him drowning in his own guilt and mental torment. Often to the point where Jack punishes himself for his bloodlust by starving himself for days on end. Then again, no matter how much he punishes himself or indulges in his urges, the hunger always remains. Never satisfied. Constantly gnawing away at him on the inside.

Because of this, Jack hasn't allowed himself to be around the other proxies, he couldn't. Not when he's a risk. So, Jack avoids everyone as much as he can. Therefore, Zachary hasn't seen him all that much and doesn't have an clear opinion on him. Jack, on the other hand? He's seen just enough of Zachary to know that if they ever stuck in a room with each other, he would end up ripping the poor guy's throat out. So, for his own peace of mind and Zachary's safety, Jack would rather keep as much space between them as possible.

[villanious-gay-ghost]

I think I've figured out how to let go

(originally posted on Reddit by me, but I thought I'd share it here as well)

Doesn't apply to everyone!!! We all have different journeys and different things that work for us! These are just some thoughts, take them with a grain of salt. If it doesn't resonate with you, then it's not for you.

I've been thinking a lot about this recently because I felt like I'm trying to control too much of my DR to the point that it has become an obsession. For almost three years, I've been doing the same thing over and over again. I create myself a DR with the perfect life, perfect backstory, perfect S/O, perfect family, etc. It's all so perfect and planned out that it has no room for growth. When you have everything, that's just not fun.

Then when all the planning and scripting is done, I lose interest, and it's not getting me anywhere. No matter how perfect these DRs are, they feel distant, unrealistic, and unreachable. They're just too good to be true. I'm sure that such realities exist, but for me, it's not a realistic goal YET because I'm clearly struggling to get there. And I know I'm not the only one who feels this way and I'm trying to come up with a solution for that.

So if my DR is already perfect, then what else is left to do? Nothing. It's not an authentic experience anymore. Perhaps the hardest part is admitting to myself that I don't want the perfect DR or an ideal version of myself because that's what I've been chasing the entire time. The easy way, where I have everything, but it's just not what I want.

I want the human experience where I can find true immersion, where I have no knowledge of the outcome. I want to live, to exist.

Shifting is life. You're not an actor trying to act out a script. It's not just some fantasy, we're talking about reality. But life isn't something that you can plan, is it? There's always something that we can't predict because that's just how it is.

So what is letting go?

Letting go is when you specify only the basics in order to create a grounded reality. You define who you are, where you want to go, create a general idea of your life, maybe who your parents and siblings are, but you let the rest naturally unfold. You don't stress about the little details, you don't make a 20 pages long script.

Put that script aside for a bit. You don't plan your younger brother's personality, you don't plan your neighbor's eyebrow color, you don't plan how many bathrooms your house has, the types of plants your high school biology teacher kept in her classroom, you don't plan your number of friends, or the brand of your first car. You don't plan. You absolutely can do all those things, and having a script doesn't necessarily mean that you're obsessed with control. But if you're like me and that's not working for you, then maybe try considering going back to basics. You don't need specifics to connect to your DR.

It's hard, I know, because we want to be in control and all that. But you're letting go by not trying to control every aspect of your DR. Trust yourself, trust the universe, trust shifting, trust whatever you believe in and let go of your limitations. Create a reality for yourself, a place where you genuinely want to live.

But if you only have the basics, then how do you shift? That doesn't seem enough, but, in theory, it should be. True, you don't have specifics, but you still have the key, the most important thing that you need in order to shift: yourself.

Just lay down, relax, focus on your breathing if that helps. Let go of the details, don't think about them because they're only holding you back. Focus on the idea, the concept of a better reality where you're safe, cared for, and happy. You don't need a method, you don't need to visualize. Just feel and trust that it's happening. Feel the peace and feel the shift pulling you in.

Hope this helps someone. Start open and go living!

[alltheboysandgirlsiloved]

You will never walk alone OP.

I have just finished my jwcc rewatch. If after jwcc alone someone told me that Ben ends up getting a girlfriend, I would assume that they haven't seen a single episode of the show.

Benrius this Benji that. I don't care. Ships ultimately don't matter.

Ben has at least two scenes in which his dialogue (in my opinion very seriously) suggests that he is a queer kid. Thinking about "there's nothing wrong in being different" in season 1, and "figuring himself out" in season 4.

But the thing is. It's not just dialogue that queer-codes him.

His entire character arc heavily relies on him "being different", "standing out", going against the crowd. He only ever fully feels like he fits in in season 5 - at the end of his journey. This is literally an average queer teenager coming out of his closest experience - we all struggle(d) with feeling just a bit different, even if we were accepted into the group, even if we were supported. We still felt (still feel) that sometimes sets us a little bit apart from the norm. This is Ben's entire character starting from season 1. You could argue that all of them need time to learn how to operate within the group, and that's true, but Ben's always been an odd-ball and you can't argue that.

"But what about Yaz and Sammy? They are a canon sapphic couple and their character arcs don't follow the same pattern." Yeah. So? First of all, not every queer kid's experience is the same. Second of all, notice how by the time feelings started to bloom they were already a solid part of the group. It certainly gives a sense of safety and comfort. Ben feels different from the beginning and more importantly is treated differently. Sammy grew up in a loving environment. For Yaz the most difficult part - opening up - was already done in season 1. So yes, obviously they are not in the same situation as Ben.

ALSO ALSO. I still strongly believe that Darius, Yaz and Sammy's reaction in Chaos Theory, also confirms that they also considered Ben to be queer. Why else would they be so shocked? They know Ben inside and out - they know that his an amazing (if only a bit weird) person and an incredible friend. He is easy to love once you get to know him and they know it. So why would they be shocked?? Not because they think Ben is unlovable, but because they didn't suspect him of ever getting a girlfriend.

I have a theory, that the writers absolutely know that Ben was read (still is!!) as queer-coded and they acknowledge that. If he really has a girlfriend, I will be disappointed because I bet it will be shown as "haha, you didn't think it was true". Like... Yeah I didn't think it was true because it doesn't make any sense. the shock value will fall flat because, I kid you not, other than his two lines about his girlfriend, the entire show suggests he is gay. He never gave bisexual or pansexual vibes (and I say that as someone who looooves to put a "pansexual" label over my fav characters). If his girlfriend turns out to be fake... I'm instantly curious how it will be explained, how Ben will behave. I don't think he lied, so it would mean that she is a fraud, a catfish or a spy. I think it would be an incredible thing to explore in the show tbh.

I thought it through and through. I rewatched jwcc with Ben's girlfriend on my mind. I still believe that he is queer-coded.

I will never hate on the writers of the show if his girlfriend turns out to be true. Hell, I will probably even end up liking his girlfriend (I just want him to be happy guyssss) but in my heart he will always be a metaphor for a queer kid learning how to face the world with the love he carries.

Guys pls tell me I'm not alone on this:

Pls tell me I'm not the only one who still lives by the "Ben's girlfriend is fake" truth. It's just that Ben liking girls sounds so surreal for me lmao.

Sometimes I think I might have hallucinated all his coded queerness. Maybe we all made it up? I don't know, seriously

Oh but what about he being bi? I swear,,, as a bisexual myself this man is not bi coded for me. Also having a girlfriend doesn't make him bi if nobody confirms his bisexuality or represents it on the show. So, no.

Concluding, I think if she ends up being real I'll pretend nothing happened, ignore it, and be delusional bc if not I would be sad so this is how I cope 👍 :D

And don't get me wrong, I would NEVER throw hate on her if she ends up being real, bc it doesn't makes sense. She is just a character, she doesn't have control over the narrative.

[grungebutsoft]

if Jon and Martin ever had TikTok pre-getting together, Jon would have a blank account and only repost videos of funny cats and Jon would also absolutely stalk Martin’s page obsessively and like melt a little bit every time he saw Martin’s cutely edited baking/cooking attempts

[dykedvonte]

Can you talk about trans!Curly a little bit more? I'm curios if you have any headcanons and the like

-💀

It's just such a thing in my mind because it adds a truthful sadness and differing aspect to mouthwashing.

If Curly was trans it adds the horror of the horribly selfish thought he could have easily been in Anya's situation. It could've been him but it wasn't and he so conflicted on the pit it put in his stomach that brings and the shameful relief it wasn't. In this scenario he is friends with Jimmy for a long time still. Jimmy likely knew him pretransition. Maybe he gave Curly weird looks then, maybe they never stopped after, maybe they seemed meaner. They are guys now, bros, both of them are. He doesn't really have to worry what those looks mean anymore, Jimmy just has that face with him sometimes. It's recontextualizing a lot of things for him that he was in denial about or too ashamed to admit. How naive he was being and how he let that get another person hurt.

Specifically with Anya, it's he knows the dread and fear she's feeling. He can understand it because he had to live with it for a good portion of his life, he knows it cause he still does, just in a slightly different way. It makes him think of all the times he's been alone with Jimmy, all the times he's been way more drunk off his ass and not remember the night, Jimmy was always with him the next day. Makes him think of the comments he would laugh off both because that's what guys do but because that part of being a girl says to laugh so Jimmy doesn't do something. It's the selfish realization that he was never safe and he's uncertain now too. Mad at himself for forgeting that feeling, espcially since for a long time he would've been considered the only woman on a crew (with all that implies) for a long time.

He should've taken those blinders off, step back into that position for just a moment and it's so much more painful that Anya likely came to him because he should've gotten it. Those thoughts don't leave his mind after the crash when he's in an even more vulnerable position than she was...

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Leave wildlife alone. He probably bites.

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[sapphosremains]

Okay, so firstly I think I ought to clarify some terms a little because they overlap. So if I assume that you're responding to my post in the way I meant it, you would be suggesting that non-Christian theologians couldn't publish things because they didn't believe them religiously, and I'll assume that's not what you meant and there's just been overlap of terms, as you seem like a nice person and I've followed you for a while. I believe it academically, as I'm sure all theologians who publish work believe academically in their work, but I think it's wrong to expect people to believe things religiously.

Secondly, of course what you write and publish matters and affects people. I hope that very few people think they can publish what they want with no effects. However, at the end of the day, these people exist, and, also, people publish bad theology. It happens. I won't make a judgement on what's bad theology, as no one can do that objectively, and I'm sure many people think my theology is bad theology, but you get my point. However, as far as academics should be responsible for what they put out in print, pastors who, as you were saying, are trained in theology, have the responsibility to choose what they preach from the pulpit. If they do not think critically enough to believe everything that is published and think that all of it is suitable for a congregation (especially when much of academic theology is so incredibly different to preaching material), that's on them. It is not a theologian's job to anticipate that a pastor may preach their research, because research is precisely what it is.

Following on from that - your point on why people do theology. And again I think our different experiences with academic theology (yours in seminary, mine in university) play into this. I can understand your perspective on not understanding seminarians publishing work they don't believe in, but again, this strictly academic theology is a completely different field. In my course, we learn about, think critically about, and write critically about, the theology of a variety of religions, despite not believing them. So what is the point of doing theology? I think a number of different things:

Yes, actually, to further the academic field. In the same way historians research and write and publish and work together to get a more accurate view of history, and chemists research and write and publish to further the field of chemistry, I write and publish theology to further the field of theology. To contribute to a better understanding in different aspects of the field.

Also, because we do care about the effects and the real people involved. There's an excellent bit in Phyllis Trible's foreword to Terror in the Bible where she explains how researching and presenting bits of the Bible that were painful, and sexist, and traumatic actually really spoke to victims of similar things. My Cozbi essay was really important to me and others as it examined where common translations obscured the true violence and sexism of the event, and how her race and gender play into it. I think that's important. I wrote my icons essay because I wanted to combat the idea that icons are forbidden in the Church of England, thereby providing support for people that find them useful.

And yes, for the sake of it. Because it's interesting, and exciting, and academically rigorous. Because it's challenging. Because we love doing theology, whatever that means.

If we only do theology because we believe it, we miss out incredible opportunities to engage with people we disagree with (which is really, really important), and to understand other religions. If we only do theology because we believe it, if believing something is our starting point for doing theology, I think we'd see very little progress in both theology and religion. It also makes us incredibly biased, and makes it difficult to engage with people who disagree with us. I don't think not believing religiously in something you write makes it pointless, I think it makes it personally challenging, which is a good thing.

Should we all publish the most ridiculous things possible to prove a point? No, absolutely not, and I seriously hope no one is suggesting this. But you do not have to believe something religiously to believe it or support it academically.

Also, I think the distinction between liberal and progressive is really important here - it's on my page somewhere.

"Anyway. I just wanted to add in the perspective of someone who genuinely agrees with what I write, because I believe that my work matters. Especially as a queer person doing queer theology, I need to be up front and genuine about my sincere belief in what I write. It's important. The work of theology is important to me, and I (and many other theologians) believe that it is my duty to perform that work responsibly."

I don't like the implication here that I, and other academics, don't believe our work matters, or that we don't think theology is important, or we aren't responsible.

Maybe there are some. I don't know. But I know that I personally, and all other academics I have engaged with, believe our work matters and has an impact, and theology is important. Theology has been a driving factor in fighting against slavery, subordination of women, racism, sexism, homophobia, and a whole list of other injustices. I will always, always argue that theology is important. You won't catch me agreeing with Richard Dawkins on this!! I do feel responsible for my work. But some really incredible Christian theologians have been non-Christian, and I'm sure the same is true of other religions.

Some theology is religious. Some is as objective as it can be. Most is probably a mix of both. And, I think some theology is pretty much impossible to religiously believe. For example, Harriet Lutzky's work analysing the name of Cozbi (https://www.jstor.org/stable/1535280) is so interesting, and academically compelling, and I believe it academically, but it is not something to be religiously believed or not believed. How would I go about incorporating that into my religious beliefs? This is what makes me think that we're not discussing the same theology, or the same type of belief, so I hope we've just misinterpreted each other!

Anyway, hope this makes sense and best wishes to you and your seminary work :)

“i love it theologically but in my personal religion idk how it makes me feel. this is actually a super common phenomenon - christian theologians are often very liberal in their theology and more conservative in their own religion.” Can you please please please talk more about this distinction????

Of COURSE! I’m still trying to find where I got this fact but I always have like 10 books on the go not including journal articles etc so I have a lot to dig through! So firstly, it’s quite an important distinction. There is a massive overlap between theology and religion, and exploring theology naturally impacts one’s own religious beliefs, and vice versa, therefore it’s not a hard line per say. However, it is crucial that theologians can have some separation. For example, one of the first questions they asked me in a certain unnamed university interview that you’re not meant to give any details about picked up on this. I was given a few passages taken from different religious traditions, and we discussed their similarities and differences. A little into the conversation, they told me that the passages had been written sequentially, with each a few hundred years after another, and asked “Could the later ones possibly have been inspired by the earlier one?” One of the later passages was taken from the New Testament, with this question carrying the suggestion that an author in the NT had been inspired by Ancient Greek mythology. If you’re answering that from a religious perspective, no, absolutely not! This is where they start to separate. 

A good part of theology requires looking at religious texts as a piece of literature. In my Extended Essay for IB I wrote about Cozbi, and a significant chunk of my work looked at word choice in a variety of translations, including the original Hebrew. This meant looking at how she had been named (Cozbi was probably not her real name - it means ‘to lie’ and ‘lies’, and the Akkadian equivalent of her name, ‘kuzbu’, means ‘voluptuousness’, ‘sexually vigorous’, and is a euphemism for genitals) to convey a message, and the use of grammar and vocabulary in order to pin the blame on her as opposed to the Israelite man Zimri. So in this, I’m looking at the Bible as literature, and making arguments which are quite tricky to make from a Christian standpoint - to look at my religious text and say ‘The author of this text has chosen these words to manipulate the reader’, when in my Christian head, the author of the text is God (as discussed in earlier posts, expressed by humans). So, I think that interview question aimed to very quickly sort out those who are not able to have that distinction. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it would make it very difficult to study Theology, and be taught Theology, I think.

But this distinction is where the liberal theology vs conservative religion comes in. My argument in my Cozbi essay, that the Bible deliberately uses women as plot devices and scapegoats, is liberal, and, honestly, not something I really want to believe! And arguing something academically, especially in the field of Theology, doesn’t necessarily mean you have to believe it. If you’re arguing something in Chemistry, that’s a bit different! Do I think my Cozbi essay is academically compelling? Yes. I am academically persuaded by it. Do I believe it religiously? Do I think that’s what God’s word is really trying to say? No. Do I think my icons essay is academically compelling? Yes. Do I think it justifies the use of icons in the Church of England? Yes. Would I have icons without it? Also yes. Writing that essay, although informative, did not alter my personal religious beliefs.

I think there’s also this weird overlap in the Tumblr-Christian-Theology little niche that you and I like to sit in. You do it much better than me. Your theological arguments persuade me, and I do think I often believe them religiously. However, my theological arguments aren’t meant to do that. Mine are often purely academic. This also links back to a post you made a few months ago that I wanted to talk about but didn’t have the words for. You talked about not liking people distinguishing between ‘theologies’ ie ‘feminist theology’ ‘liberation theology’ etc etc. And I agree and disagree, once more based on this distinction. If ‘theology’ is your personal theology, what you believe about God and religion, then yes, this idea of ‘feminist theology’ is really weird. However, when I say I’m a ‘feminist theologian’ or I’m interested in ‘liberation theology’, I mean I am interested in the niche in the academic subject Theology that belongs to ‘feminist theology’ or ‘liberation theology’.

So, why are Christian theologians often more liberal in their academic theology and more conservative in their personal religion? I think because we’re not compelled to believe it. You can try out ideas, and argue for them, and find evidence to support them, but none of this means you have to believe it. This gives Christians the space to figure out ideas that they may not agree with religiously, or might get push back from their religious community, in an academic sphere.

[Throwback to this great conversation with my (LDS) coursework supervisor:

Her: *finishes reading coursework* Oh no, you can’t submit this. I hate it, I really disagree.

Me: Oh gosh, sorry! Which arguments are the weakest?

Her: Huh? Oh, no, all your arguments are really strong. I can’t pick holes in them.

Me: Oh, that’s good. How can I improve it then? What’s wrong with it?

Her: I really disagree with it.

Me: That’s… that’s fine… You don’t need to agree with it.]

Also, I think it’s a lot easier to be liberal hypothetically! And academics can argue whatever they want. You could put a claim I hated in front of me and I could still defend and support it just as strongly as something I agreed with. Also, there’s less responsibility. If you’re consciously publishing a religious opinion in a religious space, that’s something people might take away and believe, which comes with an element of danger! Obviously you don’t have control over how people use your academic work, they might well go away and incorporate it into their religious beliefs, but that likelihood is lower, so this throwing out of ideas and ‘what if God meant this’ and ‘what if Paul meant this’ is a little safer, and comes with the understanding that it’s not necessarily your belief or a belief you endorse! 

Anyway yes this was actually a very difficult question to answer and, despite it being true of me, I don’t really know! But this is an attempt for now, and I’ll come back to it after I’ve done some more Theology!! Definitely next academic year after I’ve done some uni :))

[phagodyke]

the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍

[muchanmocha]

When I was looking through the artbook for the first time I genuinely teared up 3 different times. And one of them was Shine's profile for Mizi.

Your tags are amazing prev, wanted to get my thoughts on this section in particular!

If we take a look at Shine's chart, we have zero data on any of their stats (Intelligence, Moral Sense, Awareness, Life Expectancy, Status, Wealth). This lines up with Shine's tag #mysterious race — they're likely a mystery to even other segyein (aliens). But there's another important tag here: #transcendent being.

transcendent (Merriam-Webster)

— extending or lying beyond the limits of ordinary experience

— being beyond comprehension

— transcending the universe or material existence

Shine is a "being beyond comprehension" who "transcends the material existence."

With this description, it's no surprise that they would be entrusted with something by an "old and divine existence."

But what does it mean to be a transcendent being? What does it mean to be beyond the material world?

Personally I think it implies they do not involve themselves in worldly matters which includes wealth, status, and in relevancy to our topic, the morals of the segyein community. I think Shine, as "masters of the deep sea" no longer concern themselves with issues of the world at large, only that of the domain under their protection and management. Not to say that can't or won't change with the recent events.

Let's also look at Shine and Mizi and the latter's entry into Alien Stage. (Putting this under the cut bc it's unnecessarily long lol)

Shine is very clearly designed based on jellyfish, and all of these cues (the popularized "immortal jellyfish," "creatures of the deep sea," being "a mysterious race") surrounding them indicate that there's a high chance of Shine having a very long lifespan, if not immortal altogether. Either way it would be incomprehensibly more vast than we or Mizi and co. can conceptualize as humans.

Let's say you have a pet hamster. You've grown very attached to this hamster. You love them to bits and they're the brightest joy in your life and you would do anything for them [insert I've only had Arlo for a day and a half meme].

One day your hamster says they want to do this very cool and amazing thing that might end in their death or maybe not but the thought of it makes their little eyes light up and — OFC YOU SAY NO!! Is this little guy crazy??

But then you think again.

Because of their biological limitations, this little guy is only going to live a year or two. Maybe three if you take very good care of them.

Do you really have the right to dictate what your little guy can do in the short, short year they have to live? Even if it's for their own good? Do you have the right to say no if this is what they truly want? What their dream is for their short time on this planet?

Would it be selfish of you to choose keeping them with you longer over what they want? For the sake of extending 1 year with them to 3?

No matter what, Mizi's time with Shine was limited from the start.

Their time together was always going to be short. So why not do whatever they can to give her the best and happiest life possible while she's still with them? Why not try to grant as many of her wishes as possible? Even if one of those wishes will shave down the time they have, if it could make Mizi all the happier, wouldn't that be worth it for Mizi's sake?

From the perspective of a potentially near-immortal race, the difference between a handful of years and two handfuls of years is minimal.

Shine definitely wouldn't be on board with Mizi participating on Alien Stage but I can see why they would choose to support Mizi's wishes despite the risks.

But this is with the aforementioned by prev canonical "inability to truly understand humans bc they're aliens/segyein" coming into play.

Bc this reasoning is flawed ofc haha.

Mizi was a child, prob less than 6 years old when she was sent to Anakt Garden which means she likely told Shine she wanted to do it way back then and idk about you but 6-year-olds prob shouldn't be making life or death decisions.

Mizi also wasn't aware of the stakes at hand. I can see various reasons for why Shine wouldn't enlighten her of it, if they even realized this was a need. Additionally if Shine as a race are long-lived, Mizi wouldn't have many opportunities to encounter death as a concept among her companions in her homeland.

Anyway those are some of my extrapolations from the text with random thoughts thrown in haha

I hate alien stage…

I’ve recently gotten really into alien stage. I’ve been avoiding it because I wanted to finish watching milgram but I got curious and just decided to watch it. Point is I hate it. I hate it for a very stupid reason that’s honestly my own fault. I hate it because I fell in love with this stupid character.

Not Mizi (even though I love her also)

HER I LOVE THIS STUPID ALIEN AND I HAVE NO CONTENT FOR HER

EVER SENSE I FOUND OUT SHE EXISTED IVE BEEN LOSING MY MIND BRO

Shine my beloved ❤️❤️❤️❤️

The only good alien in this stupid series

Someone please make more shine content I love them so much…

Someone please tell me I’m not the only one…

Like I genuinely love them more than the other characters.

They could actually be the worst character in the series and I wouldn’t know sense I just got into this stupid thing

Shine… please… I need more content

[transmascutena]

btw whenever i mention utena and anthy "being in love" i need you to know that i mean that in a distinctly aromantic way. but don't ask me to elaborate on that, the way i understand their relationship makes sense only to me and i would not be able to articulate what i mean

[tanicus-caesareth]

guarana drama, damage control

[bmpmp3]

dysgraphic artiƨts risɘ UP!!!!!

[callipraxia]

Note: haven’t tasted any of these yet (though I did say “the heck with good sense” and order some samples; check back in about a week for proper reviews) and am just musing about what some of the components are and how they link to GF characters, at least in my mind. That established, here are Some Preliminary Notes, Just Based On General Knowledge Of Tea:

Mabel: I have no idea what a mix of spearmint, strawberry, and watermelon would taste like (I really like spearmint, but dislike strawberry and am indifferent to watermelon), but somehow, yep, I still feel comfortable saying this one just sounds right.

The Author: If that Assam is a good Assam, then I want this. I will note that I have drunk roasted mate before, but don’t know what it tastes like exactly; Stash used to have this salted caramel mate/black tea mix that was my daily favorite for my lidded work mug, back when we worked in an office. It’s also caffeinated, though I’m not sure that matters as much when it is blended with a black tea and particularly with Assam. Strong stuff, usually, Assam; I drink it a lot in the springtime because it’s one of the few substances that really helps with my awful spring allergies.

Dipper: I…don’t know that I’ve had passionfruit tea before, actually. The ‘passion’ bit certainly fits Dipper’s personality, anyway. Lemongrass is very nice. Sour apple is less my style, I like apples that are very firm and very sweet, but this also suits Dipper’s personality just on name alone, bless him.

Stan: On one hand, Lapsang Souchong is the famous “smoked” tea, and people who dislike it have been known to describe it as like walking into a casino with a mouth full of water. Personally, as someone who likes LS, I don’t think it’s much like that at all - but then, I grew up eating a lot of smoked meat (my father liked mixing in hickory with the charcoal for the fire in his grill), I still like a bite of smoked cheese, and my infernal sinus sensitivity has it where I can immediately differentiate wood smoke versus cigarette smoke (and occasionally, between brands of cigarette - I curse the day my grandmother switched from Salem Lights to Marlboros) vs cigar smoke. I set foot in the lobby of a casino precisely once in my life, then had to flee because of the overwhelming stink of cigarette smoke was making me sick even from a room’s width away….

Oh, wait, we weren’t here for my personal anecdotes and oddly specific knowledge bases, were we? I get sentimental sometimes, which ironically fits Stan as well as an association with a casino does, if that’s how you experience Lapsang. There are a lot of different experiences you can have with Lapsang, from smooth to very ‘prickly’ feeling, sour or sweet, the base can taste woody (which isn’t a bad thing in tea) or overpoweringly naturally fruity, in a dark forest fruits kind of way…complicated stuff, so also appropriate for Stan in that way. Caramel is a lovely sweet flavor, close enough to toffee that Lapsang and caramel could bring to mind both bacon and toffee, two of Stan’s favorite food items. It occurs to me that peanut isn’t really a note I’ve seen in tea…possibly adding a bit of some other nut might give a little nod in that direction, along with moving the caramel more toward toffee? I’d love to tinker with blending myself to see what I could end up with. Which I may actually be able to do - this looks like Adagio Teas, who at least used to have the ‘make your own blend’ option. I never tried it myself - or, in fact, any Adagio teas - but wow, this brings back memories, I can’t even recall when I last thought of Adagio, and had in fact had the vague impression that they weren’t open anymore, though good for them if they are.

I don’t know what a mambo is outside of a song about “mambo Italiano” that everybody sang like three lines of all the time when I was in elementary school (despite none of us speaking a word of Italian, unless you count ‘macaroni,’ and probably none of us even being able to find Italy on a map), but I suspect it’s here to prevent us from ending up with too darkly elegant of a cup - the base blend might hit multiple things Stan likes, but comes off a little more dark academia than any flavor of chaotic or animated. “Mambo” also may be Spanish, which would be a nice nod to Stan’s adventures in central and South America. Other ways one might accomplish that could be a touch of mate, or, if one really must, some coffee-flavor.

Ford: If I were to assign Ford a Lapsang souchong, it would be one of those raw-dark-fruits one I mentioned in Stan’s bit, ones where the smoke plays only a minor role. I think Ford would really like to be something like, say, Smoky Earl Grey from Fortnum’s, but I spent the past two years of my life writing a monograph on the subject of how this is a veneer, not his actual personality - there aren’t really any Fortnum’s people in Gravity Falls except perhaps Pacifica, and I think of her as more of one of those very…frilly-feeling French teas. But we’re discussing Ford…really, really good pu’erh can give you a sort of brain-sparkly feeling I can see working for Ford. Inadequate memory of what hazelberry tastes like to comment on that. Assam -

Assam, really, is plenty complicated on its own. Indian teas are especially characterized by whether they are first flush (the first round of leaves harvested) or second flush (the ones that grow in later). A nice Assam can have a lovely honey note, though the word most people use for Assams is “malty.” I don’t know what malt tastes like, though, so I don’t know about that. I can say that I can usually tell if I’m going to love or hate a given Assam at practically first sip, which, along with how Lapsang is very much a matter of taste, does reflect on how divisive the character is said to be in corners of the Internet that aren’t mine.

Stan W/O Lapsang: can’t see the description in the image, can’t comment on that one.

Bill Cipher: I can’t really imagine these tastes together, but I automatically want to revolt at lavender being included - I like lavender, you see. If I was going to make a Bill tea myself, I’d get a really lousy pu’erh - I vividly remember one I had one time that tasted like fish fried in over-used grease and which made me sick to my stomach if I drank too much of it even if I somehow drowned out the fish with enough of Harney’s Vanilla Black - and then throw all the tropical fruits in it, and then throw a red berry mix into it (I don’t like red berry blends, unless you count teas with cranberry flavor in, which your standard Four Red Fruits type of tea doesn’t usually have). This would probably taste bizarre, foul, and utterly confused, but it would be in character. Though really, if I was going to sum up Bill as a liquid, I’d probably go with a cocktail of antifreeze and bleach.

The Mystery Shack: I can’t remember off the top of my head if Pu’erh Dante is flavored or not, or if there’s anything extra to account for the ‘moonlight’ aspect of Earl Grey Moonlight, so I really can’t say much here, except that pu’erh and key lime could capture something of the sense of the place - bright and summery colliding with all this tangled mess of messy adult lives just beneath the surface. Can’t really imagine what that would actually taste like, though.

Mabel (Alt W/O Strawberry): “berry blast” is too vague for me to say anything without knowing what the berries in question are. I probably wouldn’t like it (see comments on Four Red Fruits blends), but it does match the idea of Mabel.

Ford W/O Lapsang: Fun fact: the tea typically called gunpowder green isn’t actually smoky at all. It’s named that because of the unique shape of its preparation, which make the leaves into little pellets that apparently resemble stuff you put into really old-fashioned guns. The best gunpowder I ever had tasted strongly of honey; the worst was a bitter mess that I couldn’t dump enough honey into to salvage it. Which is also kinda Ford-appropriate, in a way….

This tea’s primary interest lies in how it’s a blend of three out of the four/five most common tea ‘categories’ - no oolong or white tea, but green tea, black tea, and pu’erh? That’s an interesting combination. I’ve seen green and black blends before (Murchie’s of Canada particularly has a thing about mixing a little green tea into their black teas; results vary for me), though since you don’t make black and green tea at the same temperature, I must admit the idea has always kind of confused me. Never seen one with pu’erh in it before, though, so points for originality if nothing else.

@sovonight has Gravity Falls inspired tea!

Complete with their beautiful artwork on the packaging.

Get the tea here!