#this is a little bit personal experience but no matter

[voxslays]

HAZBIN MEN AS DADS

Featuring >>> Adam, Alastor, Angel Dust (Anthony), Lucifer, Husk, Vox, & Valentino x Reader (Separately) as fathers.

(not proofread if that wasn’t obvious lol)

Adam:

Total boy dad. I can see him with a little girl, (let’s be honest, his daughter would 100% become an exorcist and take over after he retires as commander (if he ever retires lol)), but he would turn his son into the the next exorcist commander.

Adam is definitely a bit misogynistic…and no matter what you do, atleast a little bit of that would be passed down to your child. If Adam had a son (not him already having two other sons…), he would start training him at a very young age. (Kinda like the career tributes from the hunger games if yk what I mean.)

With a girl, I can 100% see him being overly protective TO THE EXTREME. He’s the type to scare off teenage boys lol.

Alastor:

Is probably the best dad on this list (except for Luci ofc.) Is super protective of his family. Would not let your baby out of his sight for the first few weeks. Would offer to help you with the baby when it wakes up crying late at night.

Is totally a girl dad. He would willingly play dress up and have tea parties with her in her room…but it will not be mentioned outside of there. When going out for an outing, he would dress her up to match his colors—red & black—and give you a few extra minutes to get ready.

The two of you want some alone time? He’ll ask Rosie. If she’s busy he is forcing either Husk or Niffty to watch the child. Alastor also most definitely keeps your young, innocent child away from Angel Dust for ‘reasons’ he doesn’t want to elaborate on. Your child will inherit his powers and will be almost as strong as him one day!

Husk:

Okay…so first of all, the elephant in the room. His alcoholism. I don’t think Husk would completely stop drinking, but would tone it down for the sake of you and your child. When he’s drinking/drunk, he would make sure he wasn’t around your child, not wanting that kid to see the ‘real’ him.

He would totally be a girl dad. He would completely deny it but we all know it’s true. Like Alastor, if your daughter wanted him to dress up, have a tea party with him, etc. I think it would take a little more convincing than Alastor but in the end he would do it.

Would be overly protective. ESPECIALLY AROUND ALASTOR. Husk would make sure that your child was atleast six feet away from the deer demon at all times. Husk obviously has lots of experience with Alastor as a person, so he of all people knows that Alastor could (and maybe would???) manipulate his spawn into a deal.

Angel Dust:

Angel is extremely excited…but…He is nervous. VERY anxious.

Angel would be a good dad, but he is worried about his deal with Val. Who knows what Val would do if he found out he was in another relationship…let alone with a child! When the child in question is born, he does everything in his power to hide them from Val.

If Val found out, he would be pissed. After calming down (barely), he would try to get your child under contract to punish Angel. Therefore, Angel is obviously very protective. Angel would teach your child how to be street-smart and survive on the streets of hell. Your child would learn from Angel’s mistakes.

Lucifer:

WHAT? HES GONNA BE A DAD (again)!? He is so stoked. Before the baby is even born they have everything they could ever want. Anything for his little duckling.

Your child would be homeschooled, but not by you. By the most well-known and well-educated members of Hell’s society. Your child is truly getting a million dollar education. Oh! And if your child decides to get a higher education after high school? It’s already taken care of. Lucifer makes sure that there are schools ready to take your child to college before your baby even turns two!

For some characters, I feel like they would either be girl dads or boy dads, but Lucifer could truly be either. With a little girl, I could totally see him playing dress up or Barbies with her, no problem! With a boy, same thing.

Vox:

Your child hit the jackpot. I mean…who wouldn’t want the richest overlord in all of pride to be their father? I just pray the kid doesn’t come out looking like a leapfrog or iPad…

Your child would be an iPad kid (vPad?) They would have all the newest technology and toys, they wouldn’t even know what to do with it all! Seriously though, this kid 100% has a playroom just filled with all the toys Vox either made or bought for them. He definitely spoils them (and you).

Your kid is a nepo baby. As they get into their teenage years, Vox would make sure they started to gain fame. Whether it’s by singing or acting (or both), or becoming a powerful overlord like himself, Vox would help them reach that.

Both you and Vox would make sure that your baby is supervised around Val and Velvette, if Vox even lets the kid around Valentino. He does NOT want Valentino trying to swindle them into a deal.

Valentino:

Bestie...What were you thinking? Let’s be honest. Valentino would not be the greatest dad. Definitely not the worst, but not great.

He would 100% leave your kid unsupervised. You’d better always be watching because he definitely isn’t. Speaking of supervision, Val would just randomly bring your child into his studio…When the two of you are spending ‘time’ together, he would either get Vel or Vox to watch the baby, or one of the souls he has under contract. Is surprisingly overprotective.

Val would teach make sure your child knows Spanish, threatening to ‘disown the brat’ if they refused. Luckily, you are there to stop Valentino from going off on your baby. Your child definitely learns a few Spanish swears from him.

[b0njourbeach]

NRC LGBTQIA+ HCs

Those are only my thoughts and you can agree with them but you don't have to. We are all different and have our own visions. I'm quite willing to discuss or explain my visions - If you're being polite enough, I've got no time for drama. I will use He/Him for everyone - no matter what I have as a HC - because of the canon and it might be confusing for others (I, for one, often have to take a "Wait, why she?"-moment until I realize it's a HC.)

Riddle Rosehearts

He waits for the "right woman" that would "please his mothers wish". After meeting the students in NRC, especially Cater, he is curious and questioning his previous thought about being Cis/Het. Might find interest in all pronouns. I could also see him having to be more feminine because his mother wanted a girl (which could imply him having trouble with gender as a whole).

Ace Trappola

I think it's canon that he's not too fond of romantic love, so I do believe he'd be most comfortable seeing himslf as aromantic. As for the rest: He's your average cis male teenager who makes too many dick jokes for his lack of experience (but would consider himself as allosexual). Will throw hands and sees it as an insult if you call him a girl tho.

Deuce Spade

Like Mother, like son - Both Spades are bisexual in my eyes. Deuce used to be homophobic in his delinquent times but changed for the better (and realized that he disliked the idea of gay people because they "always look so happy"). Had multiple "What if"s regarding his gender (Including asking Mama Spade to treat him like her daughter for a bit, so Deuce could get a feeling for it) but it felt too weird, so he still identifies himself with his assigned gender (male) at birth - But doesn't mind it if people use they/them for him. Would be your average nervous Teenager when it comes to showing affection in any way and will blush brightly at the topic of naughty stuff.

Trey Clover

Didn't give it much thought ("If I like a person, I like them" type of mindset but had no particular romantic feelings before) before entering NRC - Where he had his first guy crush which rocked his world a little. Constantly questioning "Am I gay, bi or pan?", but his first and only crush doesn't really help and is actually the reason for his questioning in the first place. Hasn't come out at all and doesn't plan on it because he grew up that the genders of people in a relationship doesn't matter and his parents would support him as long as he's happy. "I was born as a guy, so I'm a guy, I guess. I don't really care if you use she/her for me. It'll be just a bit confusing for me at first" type of guy. After one of the night talks with Cater, he got curious about poly-relationships.

Cater Diamond

Many thoughts on his guy, many possibilities but this one story I have planned made me like the idea of trans-male Cater a lot (Mainly He/Him but doesn't mind They/Them). Funnily enough, I can also see Cater as genderfluid slaying person - That's what I mean when I say there's a lot of potential. Has too many trust and commitment issues to think of any type of relationship but he's still a bisexual king. If I had to describe a bisexual, it would be him. Wouldn't say no to a potential poly-relationship but is also intimidated by the idea because of his mental issues. Sees a lot of benefits in poly-relationships. I wouldn't be surprised if he had hooked up with someone before. Despite it all, he flirts as if his life depends on it (Which is, at least in jp, somewhat canon).

Leona Kingscholar

"I'm a guy" ahh male (in an unbothered way, not the toxic way. He's surprised if someone asks for his pronouns but respects the person just a tiny bit more for caring enough to ask in the first place). While I do believe it is hard for him to actually love someone to begin with, I'm convinced of Omniromantic and -sexual Leona.

Ruggie Bucchi

"My gender is whatever gets the job done." Based on irl hyenas, it isn't impossible for Ruggie to not be AMAB (The genitalia of a female hyena are very similar to those of a male. It led on multiple occasions to zoos attempting to breed two male hyenas). So if a job requires him to dress in drag and dance the hoola, Ruggie will do so. In theory bisexual but is too busy for actual relationships. Would absolutely come up with the wildest neopronuns to piss off Karens though.

Jack Howl

He definitely questioned himself as a young pup, especially after meeting Vil because he thought he might have a crush on him but he was proven wrong later on. Definitely one of the few straight guys in NRC. The more genderqueer people he meets, the more worried he gets about peoples pronouns because he used to be the type to look at a person and guess based on whatever vibes they give off. Now he doesn't know which pronouns to use, so he often uses they/them unless told otherwise (Has a non-verbal pact with Deuce to let each other know what kind of pronouns people have - if the other person knows).

Azul Ashengrotto

I'm making this based on irl male octopi and their nature of dying after having sex for the first and only time: So with that in mind, I do believe that Azul wouldn't want to be sexually active at all (That and his insecuities aboout his body would probably stop him too). I definitely picture him as a helpless romantic once he does fall for a person, though (demiromantic maybe?). Definitely ne for the males, both his gender and his potential partner. He has absolutely questioned his gender and maybe even secretly owns a floor-length dress he wears in his room when his mind wanders off to question potential genders again.

Jade Leech

I will never not talk about AroAce Jade. I could write an essay about AroAce Jade but I won't. Just yes. Could potentially be bi-gender though. Likes to mess with people "You think I'm a guy? Is this not a little too narrow minded? ... What? Oh no, I'm not a woman."

Floyd Leech

Raging homosexual. His type? "If he can rock my bottom, I'm vibing", but his potential boyfriend needs to be able to keep up with his nature. Only his boyfriend sees a rare soft and sweet side from time to time, trust. (I've seen people have the HC of Floyd being a She/Her lesbian and I personally can only see it if we're talking about genderbend Floyd but I'm not here to comment on other people's HCs. I just wanted to mention my sight on genderbend Floyd too). Is a He/Him guy but wore dresses and skirts before but only very wide ones or the type that have a deep cut in it - For free legs (It's canon that he doesn't like tight clothes, so I'm working this into the HC.)

Kalim Al-Asim

"I'm a guy but I can be your big sister too, if you want to haha!" Would absolutely dress feminine if he feels like it. Likes to dance in very fancy and wide dresses and skirts because they look pretty when you do a twirl. Also very pansexual, just wants to love.

Jamil Viper

Is used to dress up feminine because Najma makes him wear her clothes sometimes, so she can see if it looks any good. Much like Ruggie, doesn't care about gender as long as it gets the job done and has been often enough addressed as a girl (Especially if the person saw Jamil only from behind) to stop caring about pronouns. Has many reasons not to want to be in a relationship but swings both ways in theory.

Vil Schoenheit

Gender? "Yes." Did you expect anything less than all genders for THE Vil Schoenheit? Come on now. Extremely demisexual and -romantic. Clothes have no gender (his canon statement, Book 5), so he has worn all types of clothes with confidence and comfort.

Rook Hunt

Lithromantic (Basically: Attraction exists until the target of your affection likes you back). Gender doesn't matter for a partner or Rook, but "it/its" pronouns are extremely interesting to the Hunter.

Epel Felmier

Homophobic, both internal and external. "I'm a man!" but in the toxic way. I see trans-male Epel HCs (and justify his dislike of "girly" things with that) a lot and I really like them as well but the idea of this toxic cis-het white guy Epel is much more entertaining to me - Let this guy be annoying for the sake of being annoying, not everything needs an emotional reason :> He's a little fruit tho even if he denies it (I mean, he's in Pomefiore for a reason /hj).

Idia Shroud

"I don't do love, I don't do sex, I don't do gender. Do not perceive me." Tbh I dont have any particular HCs for Idia, I just go with whatever I see in media, if it works out with my interpretation of Idia ofc. I don't believe that Idia would be quick to love though (especially after Eliza).

Ortho Shroud

Again, I don't have many HCs on my own but I've seen both trans-male and trans-female Ortho HCs and I like 'em both.

Malleus Draconia

Knows he needs to bring up an heir eventually but hasn't found the right person yet. Isn't exactly sure about his own sexuality but is certain he'll know once he finds "the right person". Is a little confused by "new" genders, so he just settles with the classic He/Him for himself - Tries his best to respect Neopronouns and trans folk. Will ask a lot of questions if you come out to him as anything that is not your assigned gender - Both out of curiosity and because he doesn't want to mess up. Has been raised to be supportive through Lilia.

Lilia Vanrouge

Man, Woman, prefer not to say, Other, Croissant - It's all Lilias. You're a Non-Binary person? Lilia absorbs whatever your assigned gender at birth was. You're trans? Lilia will trade your assigned gender with whatever you identify as. It's also pretty much canon that he's bisexual, so there's that - I'm pretty sure he hesitates about relationships due to his previous experiences with Meleanor and Raverne. Has definitely made out with Baul when they were younger.

Silver

When you ask Silver what he likes, he'll tell you about his sword (the object, not a naughty reference to his genitalia). If you'll correct yourself and mean as in a person, he'll tell you that he doesn't care what the gender of his opponent in a battle is - He just hopes they'll good enough to help him learn how to improve his skills. In short: His duties and interests matter to Silver much more than something like love or sexual intercourse. (Same applies if you ask about his own gender: "I'm.. a guy? But I don't see where this matters right now.")

Sebek Zigvolt

Used to be a raging homophobe until Lilia sat him down and had a looong talk with him. "I'm not queer", proceeds to explain how overrated the concept of love is and how his duties should never be interrupted by something as trivial as romantic relationships (He doesn't get that this mindset has a lot of AroAce weight in it - which means he's queer). He's overall a little confused, but he's got the spirit. Will correct people very loudly if they misgender his friends or close ones. Will also regularly ask Lilia in the morning what kind of pronoun-day is (Lilia has considered to wear different colored bracelets, so Sebek doesn't have to ask every morning.)

[bharv]

Ok fuck it, inspired by @swordbisexual’s Lucanis hornyposting, a horny thought per datv companion*

*honestly I’m less certain about them than any other companions in any other game for reasons but these are the vibes I’m getting

Lucanis needs and craves being told what to do. He’s not a virgin but he’s not experienced. Demisexual king. Loves oral, loves being overstimulated, loves being topped.

Emmrich is a natural fucking brat tamer, lol. Very good with his hands. Vers, of course, and the king of short, intense, incredibly sexually charged dalliances. He falls in love with every person he fucks, just a little, and it makes him a wonderfully inquisitive, responsive lover. He’ll try anything once.

Davrin is pure instinct. Doesn’t really have any kinks that he would identify, but primal play would come so naturally to him. Usually a top, but likes to be wooed. Adores making somebody a fucking puddle of a person. King of aftercare too, no matter what pretence of stoicism he puts up. Secretly it’s his favourite bit.

Neve. Queen of strap lol. She doesn’t get entangled much, but unlike Lucanis that doesn’t make her inexperienced, just careful with her emotions. Compartmentalising Queen. I’ve considered whether she’s a stone top and I think not completely, but she’s gonna be in control.

Harding is a brat with a filthy mouth. She’s got a million roleplay scenarios she wants to try, and she’s been making jaws drop for over a decade. The sweetest girlfriend, the wildest one night stand.

Bellara is all about different types of stimulation. Cold. Hot. Electric. She likes to be rendered unable to think. Very much likes to be the centre of the experience until her brain cuts out, so I think she’s usually receiving.

Taash is a stone top, I think. Primal play is written all over them. They like to catch over liking the chase, they might seem greedy and wanting during but they show up in a million different ways in a relationship too. Doesn’t really care for lots of paraphernalia and planning. Likes to run on pure lust in the moment, so makes sure that everything AROUND the moment is careful and agreed.

(This is why I think Emmrich/Harding could have a LOT of fun, and Neve/Bellara too…)

[isinialanat]

Help! I adopted my first floret a little bit ago and I think I'm doing something wrong! I'd really appreciate some guidance from another youngbloom with a Terran floret on how to handle everything.

My precious little cutie got picked up from one of those awful feralist ships before I adopted them. I've been making a lot less progress than I expected and not giving my beloved what they deserve makes me feel like there are thorns tearing my core apart every day ::(

The biggest issue right now is that they're absolutely TERRIFIED of the implantation I have scheduled for them. They keep saying all this stuff about how it's going to turn them into a mindless willing slave or something and it's all so so wrong but nothing I say helps. Do you have any tips that would be useful to help them get over that fear?

I've also been trying to help my floret acclimate to their life and that hasn't been going too well either- half my hab is just a big enclosure for them with everything a Terran could ever want (okay maybe not EVERYTHING but pretty close) and they haven't even explored it yet. Every social interaction, be it with another floret in the park or at the veterinarian every day, ends up with me cradling them in my vines and telling them that everything is going to be okay ::(

Even though your situation is different than mine, I know that your adorable floret went through some similar experiences and I'm just at the end of my vines in general. Thanks in advance ::)

Ah, no! I know how it feels, cradling your floret in your vines, all scared and sobby...

First thing I'd do is postpone the implant appointment. You need to respect their decisions on important matters like that and go on at a rhythm they feel comfortable, don't make the mistake of trying to go too fast like I did. A haustoric implant is a big deal, for both of you.

Florets, especially those from feralist backgrounds, need some space and time to develop trust. Why don't you organize a couple days to stay at the hab with them, try to talk things out, sort their fears? Maybe they don't like the Terran-like part of your hab because it reminds them of bad parts of their life back in the Accord, or maybe they don't trust it as theirs, thinking of it as nothing more than a facsimile or a façade.

Maybe you'll both learn something about each other. Bonding in such a personal level is very important, since you're the one person your little sophont is gonna be next to most of the time. There's no point in a haustoric implant if there's no bond for it to reinforce in the first place.

And most importantly: don't give up. Show them that you really care about their wellbeing, that you want them to be comfortable and healthy. That you love them. You've got this. 💜🪻

[writing-for-life]

Behold: Morpheus’ Laugh

Hurrr hurrr hurrrrrr…

So we are starting with the reread of The Sandman issue 12 (“Playing House”) in our community today, and in that issue, you’ll find one of the two times Morpheus laughs. Not smirks or smiles, laughs. Out loud (not my video):

And as someone who read the comics for the first time 30 or so years ago, I actually don’t know what I expected. I always had a head-canon that he is just super repressed and actually can laugh like a normal… person (for lack of better term). He just doesn’t very often and is a bit out of practice. And I stick to that head-canon to this very day when I write fic.

BUT then Overture happened, and they gave us this:

I was like, “WTF kind of laugh can this possibly be if Hope is actually scared of it? And if it even makes the beetles run away in terror?”

And then the Audible happened, and my facial expression roughly translated to this upon a first listen:

That’s it? That’s the scary laugh? And what is going on with that grunting? It also doesn’t seem… scary? Just your ol’ maniacal laughter. I find it quite contagious though once he’s really going for it, but it could also be the total absurdity of it all…

But it’s somehow grown on me, because as a former MT actor, I get how absolutely awful it must be to do this when you have nothing else to fall back on but your voice.

And can I just say that this… THIS…

…was a total cop-out? They cheated us out of a stellar performance… experience… whatever.

Also: James McAvoy is great in the Audible. It’s a very different take from Tom’s, but he has the character spot-on in my view and leans a bit less into the sad emo cat, which I honestly like.

Bonus points: Your RP is great, James (much better than mine 🤣), but no matter how hard you try, the Scottish accent is coming through here and there (it’s incredibly subtle—it’s the vowel shape for me, like e.g. the OO). And as a fellow (half-) Scot, I can only say: I am incredibly taken with the idea that Dream has a little Scottish accent. Just for me. As a treat 😜

[lucagray813]

Shadow - Chapter 10

Title: Behind the Veil

Rating: T+

Word Count: ~10,000

Characters: Wukong, Macaque

Minor Characters: MK

Relationships: Macaque/Wukong

Minor Relationships: MK & Wukong

Summary: Macaque comes clean and walls and glamours finally fall. Their relationship will be all the better for it but it does result in a painful flashback to the worst day of their lives.

Additional Tags: Developing Relationship, Acquired Disability, Slice of Life, DBK is called Niú, PIF is called Gōngzhǔ

CW: Suggestive language, major character death, the following CWs are present but not graphic: self-mutilation, self-harm, blood and injury, violence

If you want to skip the MCD and the following CWs scroll past the italics after "His ears started ringing."

Link to AO3 Version

Chapter Navigation: First | Prev | Next

----

Wukong had spent almost all of his time in the library, consolidating his understanding of everything pertaining to the soul. He wasn't an expert in every facet of a soul's "lifecycle" but he had plenty of experience sitting with his own and exploring it's nature and that knowledge was what he thought might be of use to Macaque.

There was a chance he was focusing a little too hard on what might have been a figure of speech but at the same time it wouldn't do Macaque any harm. He would argue that even if it didn't help specifically with finding the truth about the Void it could still help him come to terms with his fear.

He wondered if there was a way to more directly help Macaque beyond teaching him what he knew because he was sure Macaque was going to be a very reluctant student. He already knew how to meditate but it was normally with a focus on magic, not on anything spiritual. And Wukong knew from first hand experience how difficult and unpleasant sitting with who you really are could be.

He was probably not going to find an alternative method to verbal guidance before Macaque returned but he would keep looking into it. In the meantime, he could make sure he was fully prepared to try and teach, although that was probably going to mean a lot of meditation on his own first.

He generally did mediate every day but he'd be lying if he said it had become much less of a priority in recent years. But it was time to get back on the bandwagon in a big way. Admittedly, he'd probably have an easier time of it once Macaque was back because every time he sat down to try it he just couldn't resist astral projecting and checking on him.

Astral projection was a bit of a curious talent. You weren't really seeing another person's soul, just a visual representation of it and how it appeared had a lot to do with the perception and skill of the beholder. If MK were here instead of him, Macaque's soul wouldn't look the same way to him as it did to Wukong.

If you could reach the pinnacle of enlightenment then he was sure no soul would be a mystery to you but given his attachment to some very specific souls it was unlikely he was reaching that level anytime soon. And honestly he was ok with that.

It would have been handy just to be able to look at Macaque and know everything about him but for all that it could save them both some hardship, it would really take away from the thrill of discovery. Maybe there was a middle ground that was somehow attainable?

Idle thoughts for another day, he frowned slightly as he considered Macaque's soul. It was odd he couldn't see his scars or ears, not that one's physical appearance made any difference to their true soul, but it did often influence the projection of the unenlightened. Maybe it had something to do with how Macaque viewed himself? Or how he wanted to be seen?

It was probably the latter and that did really put a downer on his hopes that Macaque would be dropping his glamours again any time soon. He tried to tell himself it didn't matter, that there were more important matters to attend to, but it was always on the back of his mind.

Actually, another thing that struck him as strange was that he could see Macaque's surroundings, although that was perhaps a generous description for an endless world of darkness. Astral projection never usually made the physical world melt away. Anytime he contacted MK this way all he could see was a vision of his soul, he couldn't see where he was.

He tried to rack his brain for any time he had projected to Macaque outside of the Void and he found he couldn't recall a single time that wasn't from days long past. He didn't generally need to and it was a bit invasive - they had phones for a reason.

He thought it might be worth testing what happened when Macaque was in the physical realm with him because right now this was giving some credence to the theory that Macaque's soul was connected to this place in a pretty significant way.

He didn't want to consider any theory too deeply at the moment however not until Macaque was back to discuss things.

He supposed he had to be quite grateful to the monkeys for forcing him to take breaks and eat and sleep. Macaque would be furious if he came back to find he hadn't been taking care of himself but it was hard not to fret. Although even he could admit his check-ins were a little too frequent.

He started setting alarms for himself - no astral projecting allowed until the next one went off and the monkeys took this rule very seriously. Going to great lengths to ensure he adhered to it.

It was two days after Macaque left for the Void that something was different when he went to check on him. He wasn't lying down asleep anymore, in fact it looked like he was sitting talking to someone and Wukong had just interrupted. Macaque looked extraordinarily guilty as he stood up.

"Ah, Wukong, I was just on my way back!"

Confused, he asked, "Who are you talking to? Did someone else project to you?"

The only person he was aware of that could astral project that might have any interest in contacting Macaque was MK. And while he wasn't one hundred percent confident that MK knew absolutely nothing about the Void, it felt odd that he would be there now.

Macaque winced as he admitted, "Ah, no. I might have already left?" He hastened to add, "Literally like an hour ago! I, er, just needed to check up on some things?"

Later, he no doubt would be annoyed that Macaque hadn't come straight home or at least let him know he had left but right now he was a little more concerned with something else.

He clarified, "You're not in the Void right now, then?"

Clearly misinterpreting his tone, Macaque tried to pacify him, "No but I'll be with you in, like, five minutes. Less than five minutes. I just had to... Why are you looking at me like that?"

Macaque's soul was still surrounded by that same all consuming black and no part of him thought this was a good sign.

He rubbed at his temple, "Just get your ass back here now."

Macaque nodded quickly, "Absolutely. I'm basically already there."

Wukong broke off the connection as Macaque turned around to explain to whoever he was with that he had to go.

...

Ok, apparently later was now. How dare he not come straight back here! Wukong had been worried sick for two days straight and he just went off to hang out with someone else? He was going to kick his ass when he appeared!

Which as promised only took about thirty seconds and Wukong didn't give him a chance to stammer out any platitudes before grabbing his shirt and shaking him, "Where the hell have you been? Do you have any idea how worried I've been? And you just went off gallivanting!?"

Macaque grabbed on to his wrists to try and stop him, "Alright! Alright! Stop! Let me explain!"

He stopped with the shaking but he still held him as if he threatened to start again at the slightest provocation, "Talk."

Macaque took a breath, "Look, I never usually come straight back from the Void, ok? Takes a bit to get used to being physical again. And then I like to check to see what I've missed - you know, see if I've got any calls or messages. Sometimes I even do a quick peek around the houses to make sure everyone is fine. Usually only takes an hour or two tops and then I come right here."

Wukong eyed him suspiciously, that all sounded reasonable but if that was true why was he behaving like he'd been caught doing something wrong, "Who were you talking to?"

Macaque coughed a little awkwardly before rubbing at his neck, "Bǎi Hé...?"

"You don't sound so sure of that."

Macaque sighed and stepped out of his grasp, which he begrudgingly allowed, "No, I really was talking to her. I... I wasn't quite ready to face the music and I was hoping she might be able to settle my nerves."

He frowned, "What did you think I was going to do when you got back?"

Aggrieved, Macaque responded, "It wasn't that. I was just... embarrassed about how I acted. I know I'm dramatic but that really was taking it too far - got us both upset over nothing."

It definitely wasn't over nothing but he couldn't disagree the whole thing could have been handled a lot better. Wukong had had the last two days to agonise and come to terms with it but Macaque hadn't - he'd basically been asleep the entire time - and he could understand why he might need a moment to lament things.

Deciding to be forgiving, he asked, "Did she help?"

A bit of the tension melting off him, Macaque responded, "A little. She didn't actually know what the problem was, so it was more of a general pep-talk/lecture to get a grip. Honestly, she can be a little merciless."

Wukong snorted, "I wonder where she got that from."

Macaque shrugged and lied, "I have no idea."

Fond against his will, he huffed. Before opening his arms, "Alright, I'm appeased. Get back over here so I can properly welcome you back."

Perhaps a little more eager than he intended, Macaque was quickly back in his space and holding him tightly. For this moment at least, all was forgiven as he relished in the feeling of having Macaque in his arms. To actually be able to touch him, instead of pretending to while he was astral projecting.

Their tails had intertwined almost immediately and as he pulled back to kiss Macaque's cheek, he quietly told him, "Welcome back."

Macaque placed a chaste kiss on his lips before answering, "Good to be back. Sorry I was gone for so long."

Part of him was tempted to forego any immediate conversation and just carry him to bed and snuggle up with him but if past experience had taught him anything it was that putting off important chats only made them more difficult.

So with a heroic effort, he led them to the couch instead, "C'mon, drama queen, let's get this show on the road. We've got a lot to talk about."

Despite sighing dramatically, Macaque followed him, flopping on the couch, as he commented, "I suppose so." But he sobered up quickly, "First and foremost though, I am sorry about, well, everything. Freaking out, keeping secrets... Doesn't really matter what reasons I had, it was shitty of me. I'm sorry."

As glad as he was for an apology, it really wasn't enough to completely pacify him, "The freaking out I can forgive but keeping secrets? Of that magnitude? I can't pretend I'm not still upset about it."

Everyone had their secrets, even him, and he didn't expect Macaque to tell him every little thing he'd ever thought or done but this was way too big for him not to have shared with him.

Macaque had said he deserved to know so he could have a choice and he did appreciate the sentiment but more than that if this was something that could have a big impact on either of them or their relationship then he just needed to be in the know in general.

Macaque accepted this easily, "I know. I always knew that I needed to tell you but... No, I don't want to make excuses. Look, I wish I could promise you there'll be no more secrets from now on but I can't... I promise to try though. Anything you ask me from now on, I'll do my best to be upfront about."

He would actually really like to hear Macaque's "excuses", he was pretty sure he understood why he'd kept this a secret and it felt important to talk about it but for now he decided to test Macaque on his word.

Getting straight into it, he asked, "How many people know about your condition? And about the Void?"

"Niú and Gōngzhǔ probably know about as much as you do now. Red Son knows more than anyone about my physical condition, but I've never told him about the Void, although I wouldn't put it past him to figure it out eventually. The only other person who knows anything about my condition, my vision and taste and the like, is Bǎi Hé but she knows absolutely nothing else."

He then hesitated and added, "For the sake of being upfront though... She has seen my scars and ears. She's the only one other than you."

Well that wasn't a question he was going to ask but now that he had the answer he was a little flummoxed, "Bǎi Hé has seen you without your glamours...? When? Why?"

It felt unfair to be upset about that but he hadn't even had a chance to look at them properly yet.

Macaque was surprisingly serious, "Wukong, if I tell you this, it doesn't leave this room. This is Bǎi Hé's business, alright? Swear, you won't breathe a word of this again."

A little shocked, he held up his hands, "I swear. Jeez. If it's that big a deal, you don't have to tell me."

He would very much like to know but Macaque's glamours were not actually under question here. Sure, Wukong was a little sensitive about it but at the end of the day that was his issue not Macaque's. Macaque didn't owe him his true appearance and definitely not any of Bǎi Hé's secrets.

But he had a feeling Macaque felt the need to prove how serious he was about being honest.

"You don't need the details but just know she has a lot of scars from when the Lady Bone Demon had her. She was feeling really self-conscious about them so I took my glamours down so she knew I wasn't just talking shit just to make her feel better."

God, did Macaque love that kid. He wasn't sure there was anything he wouldn't do for her. He imagined that hadn't been easy for him - no doubt it was a very Lady Bone Demon heavy chat as well as being physically laid bare like that.

He couldn't help but ask, "I know I've never spent a lot of time with her but I don't remember seeing any scars...?"

"I set her up with some glamours but before that she used to basically cover up head to toe, wore a lot of make up, you would never have seen them."

Honestly, that was more than he needed to know, "You didn't need to tell me any of this."

"I know, and I probably shouldn't have, but you asked and I... I want to make it up to you for lying. And don't think I don't know how hung up you are on my glamours. But that's a conversation for another day, ok?"

He nodded eagerly, "Yeah. Of course. Whenever you're ready to talk about it, I'm all ears!"

He cringed a little at his enthusiasm but the fact that Macaque had brought it up had him feeling incredibly hopeful. And if he was being honest, it did go a long way to show him how serious he was.

But this was a tangent that didn't need any more time spent on it right now. He cleared his throat to dismiss any lingering embarrassment and said, "Ok, getting back on track. That's really the only people that know?"

Macaque looked a little unimpressed, "I'm as shocked as you are. Your student could do with a brush up on his observation skills. I think him and a couple of his friends have some suspicions but Red Son hasn't told them anything. He wouldn't dare."

He really did want to defend MK, Macaque was an impressive actor after all, but he felt a little embarrassed on his behalf that he hadn't seemed to have at least clocked that Macaque was pretty much blind. The greatest kindness he could do was move the conversation along however.

"Actually, talking about Red Son. I may have paid him and his folks a visit while you were away."

Macaque looked tired at just the thought, "Yeah, I figured. Let me guess, I'm due to get my ass handed to me?"

"Well, they did say that you were to visit them as soon as possible and they did look pretty pissed. So, I'm going to say chances are high?"

For all that he was upset with Macaque, he didn't think he would wish an angry Gōngzhǔ on anyone.

"Can't say I didn't see this coming. You managed to get back in one piece though?"

"Oh yeah, it was a little tense with Gōngzhǔ but I had such a good heart to heart with Niú afterwards. When did he get so wise and considerate, eh?"

"I think the same way you did but in the reverse order - marriage and a mountain."

Wukong wisely did not mention he had had a pretty famous third thing help with his character development, instead opting to tease, "You think I'm wise?"

"Wise-r. But not by much. Although, can't really say I've got a leg to stand on right now."

"Wow. You really have been humbled by this, haven't you?"

"Give me a couple of days and I'll be back on form."

He was already sounding way better than he had before he left and Wukong found he was almost reluctant to stir up any feelings of fear again but they had to talk about it.

"Yeah, about that. So I spoke with Niú and Gōngzhǔ, saw Red Son's reports and figured they've got that side of things well covered. So I've been thinking of other ways that I could try and help figure out if your condition really is deteriorating and I think I found it."

Macaque frowned but he didn't interrupt.

"You remember, you said you felt it in your soul that you would go back permanently one day? Well, I figured that was worth digging into. Explore where that's coming from and initially I thought I would just be teaching you how to meditate on your spirit, and that's definitely part of it, but when I astral projected to you earlier I saw something sort of concerning."

Macaque had predictably pulled some faces at the idea of spiritual meditation but he looked genuinely confused about his closing statement, "What did you see?"

"I looked like you were in the Void."

"What? What do you mean?"

"I mean I couldn't see anything but darkness and your soul. I thought that's just how it was when I projected to the Void but you weren't there, right?"

"You can see the Void...?"

He looked a little perturbed by this information and Wukong couldn't blame him, not if he was coming to the same conclusions he was. Macaque looked thoughtful and he waited to see what he came up with.

"That shouldn't be possible. You shouldn't see anything but a representation of my soul... Unless the darkness you're seeing is a part of that...?"

That was unfortunately what he had been thinking too.

It also struck him that he hadn't had to search for Macaque's soul. He had searched where he always did but somehow he had automatically been taken to where he had actually been - that wasn't how it was supposed to work and he shared this realisation with him.

Macaque was quiet as he processed this, before slowly theorising, "The Void isn't a place as such, it's more the space where everything exists, it's everywhere and nowhere all at once. If you were looking for my soul "in" the Void, then if I'm connected to it, I guess you'll always be able to find me regardless of if I'm there or not? But the fact that you're able to access the Void in any capacity..."

That actually had him perking up, "Hey, you're right. Maybe that's an angle we need to explore. We should see if MK or someone can also reach you there."

He was taken aback by how vehemently Macaque shot him down, "Absolutely not. No way. I'm not putting him at risk."

"Woah! At risk? What are you talking about? Worst case scenario, he can't reach you. Sure, he might get a little invested in helping but... What's with that face? What's wrong?"

He looked like he was considering something particularly unpleasant but he seemed to lose whatever argument he was having in his head. Again, he looked at him with the utmost seriousness, "Wukong, I'm going to show you something and you have to swear on the lives of our troupe that you'll never go looking for it, that you'll never use it."

His eyes widened at the stipulation, he wouldn't make him swear on the monkeys unless it was something beyond serious, "Macaque... I can't make that promise. Not without knowing what it is."

Another internal conflict seemed to ensue before defeatedly Macaque pulled something solid from the shadows. And while it looked different but there was no denying what it was.

"You finished your lantern?"

The most notable feature was the vertical shutters that were currently hiding whatever was hiding inside. He was sure they could snap open at Macaque's command however.

Macaque nodded, "A while ago."

He had almost forgotten about it, it had been so long ago that he'd started working on it and he'd never offered any updates on how it was progressing. At the very beginning they had discussed what he was hoping to achieve and his worries over any unintentional functions but that was it.

He had a feeling that the lantern had not gone according to plan and that's why he hadn't been told it was finished.

Warily, he asked, "What does it do?"

"Not what I was hoping it would... I think I inadvertently created a gateway to the Void?"

He pointed at the lantern, "You're saying that I could use this to go to the Void?"

The lantern immediately disappeared back into the shadows as Macaque snapped, "No, that's the exact opposite of what I'm saying. You are not to use it. Your body can't exist in the Void. Only your soul can but it won't survive the experience."

He raised an eyebrow, "How do you know?"

Macaque huffed as he looked away, "How'd you think? I tested it. The few I decided didn't deserve mercy are alive and sorely wishing they weren't. Although, I'm not sure the ones I killed are actually any more at peace. No idea if they even made it to the Dìyù, and if they did who knows if their souls can actually be repaired."

"Jeez, Macaque. How many people have you used this on?"

"Four but trust me they all deserved it."

He'd be lying if said he felt totally comfortable with the fact that Macaque apparently still tortured and killed people. That was the kind of thing he wouldn't have batted an eyelash at back in the day, hell he'd done more than his fair share, but it really wasn't the done thing anymore.

Something must have shown on his face or in his magic because a little defensively, Macaque responded, "I don't just go around killing people for the hell of it but it's not like there's no risk of it when I'm allied with MK and the Demon Bull Clan."

It wasn't an unfair comment. He was sure being associated with him likely didn't help things either. It's not like he wasn't aware Macaque had killed people in recent years - it was sort of inevitable with the company Macaque kept - but they just didn't tend to discuss it in any great detail. Probably something they should address at some point.

"I know. I know. Sorry, I didn't mean to make a face or whatever. It just caught me off guard, I guess. Bottom line though is that the lantern is dangerous for most people but let's face it, I'm not most people."

Macaque looked like he wanted to maul him, and he hastened to add, "Look, I'm not saying I'm in a rush to put it to the test but I don't think we should rule it out completely. It feels pretty significant that I can astral project to you there, right?"

Macaque was not appeased, "I don't care. No matter what happens, you are not to use that lantern. No one is."

He wasn't promising never to use it but he wasn't going to go behind Macaque's back to mess with it, "Fine. But I still think we should get MK to-"

"No."

Alright, this clearly wasn't up for discussion. But he thought Macaque was being overly paranoid. A projection was not the same as sending someone's soul elsewhere and it had the added safety feature of having two anchor points, the projector and the target, albeit the former was more secure than the latter.

But he could see he was only upsetting Macaque, and so he conceded, "Alright. Alright. No getting anyone else involved in Void stuff. We'll do what we can just the two of us, ok?"

Honestly, Macaque didn't look keen on that either but he definitely wasn't winning that argument. And he seemed to accept this but he wasn't quite willing to let it go without a final warning.

"Wukong, you want to help me find ways to explore my soul? Fine. But I need you to understand why you can't take the risk on the Void. Try and imagine it - you have no body, you can't hear, see or feel. You can't speak and you are completely alone. That's enough to drive anyone crazy but then your soul is also aware of every shadow and shape in existence? Even if that didn't warp your soul, when you came back to your body, your mind wouldn't be able to comprehend it. Tell me you understand."

He didn't want to imagine it. It was the sort of thing nightmares were made of. But Macaque was able to survive it. Surely, he couldn't be the only one? But he put any thoughts of them somehow bridging the physical realm and the Void on the back burner for now. Hopefully a lot of meditation would turn up some answers in time.

As seriously as he could, he responded, "I do understand and I swear I'm not going to be reckless about this. I won't willingly put either of us in any sort of danger. I promise."

He withstood Macaque's scrutiny and after a moment he sighed, looking tired, "You haven't even considered the ramifications of me deteriorating, have you? You just believe this will all work out somehow."

He hadn't given it any thought beyond figuring out if it was possible and how to stop it. It didn't seem worth fretting over depressing hypotheticals until he'd at least done the former and he was pretty confident that they had plenty of time before any deteriorating might happen. It irked him slightly that Macaque's tone suggested that he was being naïve about this.

But he kept a level head, "I think we might need to work on finding some middle ground here. You think I'm being too optimistic, but I think you're being way too pessimistic. All the evidence suggests that if anything is happening to you then it's happening so slowly that we have plenty of time to figure it out. You said yourself it might take thousands of years for the Void to take you back. We don't need to obsess over worst case scenarios."

"Wukong..." He hesitated before he seemed to decide to go for it, "I know it's a running joke that we're married but I need you to really consider what it means to dedicate yourself to someone else - in sickness and in health, for better or worse. I need to know that you can think past how you feel right now."

He felt himself growing irritated with how little faith Macaque seemed to have in him but it was cut short as he remembered Niú's words.

Macaque knows what it is to love someone to his own detriment. I have witnessed his loyalty slowly destroy him once before. He does not wish that fate upon you.

The situation was more complex than a lack of faith. He stood by his opinion that Macaque was being pessimistic but he'd clearly given more thought to the future than Wukong had. Generally, he believed it was better to be in the moment than lose time worrying about things yet to happen but, like all things, there was a balance to strike.

He nodded slowly, "Ok, you want me to think about it? I will. Give me some time and then we can talk about what the future might hold and how we feel about it."

Macaque looked surprised at his acceptance before he seemed to backpedal slightly, "Look, I know I'm being super down on everything, I don't want you to think I think we're doomed or whatever. I just... You're right, I'm probably overthinking it, let fear fester and take over."

He took hold of Macaque's hand, "Hey, I don't blame you for being scared, or for worrying about the future. Especially, now that I have some idea of why that is. You've given me a lot to think about, the least I can do is, y'know, actually think about it."

Macaque let out a long breath, "I... Appreciate that. I'll do my part too - I'll talk to you, I'll try not to be so afraid. I don't want to be so scared about the future I miss out on what we have right now. You... think you could help me with that?"

He was sure his expression was something achingly soft as he leaned his head against Macaque's before gently saying, "We are going to do so much mediating."

Macaque's responding groan was like music to his ears.

----

Despite, Macaque's admission that he was afraid, it was clear that being ill and stressed had greatly exacerbated things the other week and Wukong suspected he would not have the same struggle going to the Void next time, which somewhat decreased the urgency to find an immediate answer.

It helped that they were under no illusion that there was a quick fix for this situation and while they both were still very much committed to finding answers, they had instead chosen to focus on addressing their relationship for the time being.

It was very much a work in progress, figuring out how to temper their respective optimism and pessimism to find a middle ground, especially when the roles sometimes flipped, but overall he felt like they were making good progress.

Not to say every moment was filled with serious conversations or deep thoughts because life was very much still going on around them - monkeys were having drama, friends still wanted to meet up, there were plans they'd made to go out in advance that were now upon them and then there was just day to day living.

Although, one unexpected addition to his week had been Macaque's insistence that they consider experimenting with their magic, since somebody had told Niú and Gōngzhǔ that's what had been the kicking off point for the drama the other week.

He had spluttered defensively, "What was I supposed to tell them! "Oh yeah, turns out that I have a dick that fucking glows with magic and it was a bit much." Gōngzhǔ would have actually murdered me!"

Macaque had been in hysterics over his "magic dick" - he'd genuinely cried with laughter. Wukong put aside any embarrassment to make comments to keep him laughing for as long as possible. When he finally calmed down, it was to stroke his ego, "Honestly, magic dick is right. I can't tell you much I'm looking forward to having it again."

His face had been burning even as he tried to weakly argue, "You want to... Even after what happened?"

There had been an impish sparkle in Macaque's eye, "Between magic cock rings, experimenting with magic and some inspired ideas I have in mind, I think it would be a crime not to try again."

He was never going to live the "magic cock ring" thing down but he'd be lying if he said he didn't want to find ways to make sex work for them. He wasn't wholly convinced it was a good idea though and it had taken a fair bit of back and forth for Macaque to convince him that sex wasn't inherently dangerous for him. They just had to take their time with it and figure it out.

Despite feeling reassured, he knew he was going to be a bit overcautious for a while to come. Although, he had to admit he was both curious and a little terrified of what Macaque's "inspired ideas" were - with a grin full of mischief he had said he would reveal all when the time was right.

He was sure leaving him in the dark was a deliberate move to work him up because that was definitely the effect it had - unable to stop himself from trying to imagine what he might have planned.

For the moment though, he did his best to put any such salacious thoughts to the back of his mind. He was more than ready to hear Macaque's suggestions for magic experimentation.

"I want to stress test my tolerance for magic."

And he was immediately out. Macaque was quick to try and persuade him, "Don't dismiss it until you've heard the details. I'm not asking you to saturate me in magic until I call uncle and have to hightail it to the Void. I'm talking small-scale, carefully controlled, external experiments."

He was sure there was a silent "to start with" tacked on to the end of that but he let it go for the moment. In theory, knowing how much magic Macaque could comfortably handle before it became too much could be incredibly useful but he didn't like the idea of having to get close to the limit in order to find it.

But Macaque's initial request was just to experiment with different intensities of orbs of their magic to see how they reacted and that was such a benign ask that he was more than happy to oblige. They'd done similar exercises before when they had been trying to help him with his fear of foreign magic after all and there had been no issues then.

Macaque had looked increasingly thoughtful as they'd carried on and when asked he confessed, "Being totally honest, it's not just the intensity of magic that's the issue but the other metric I'm interested in is a little more difficult to figure out."

"What is it?"

Bizarrely, Macaque looked a little embarrassed, coughing a little before admitting, "Well, the intensity of emotion you're feeling might be just as important with regards to how overwhelming your magic is. It might be possible that I can actually handle quite a lot of your magic if there's not so much emotion behind it."

He hadn't really understood what he'd meant for a moment but the out of character bashfulness had made it click and he felt his face redden. When they had slept together, all he'd been able to think about was Macaque and while he hoped his feelings were coming across, he hadn't meant for it to happen quite so literally.

They couldn't quite meet each other's eyes as Macaque continued, "Yeah... Er, not saying it wasn't something to be able to feel how you felt in the moment but feeling someone else's emotions while you're having plenty of your own, on top of some magic sensitivity? It was... a lot."

He wasn't sure what the correct response was to that, but a little mortified to literally have thrust such raw, unguarded emotion on to Macaque, he tired, "I...Uh, Sorry? I mean, not about how I felt but- Er, actually maybe a little bit about how I felt? But I didn't mean to, y'know, have that happen."

He wasn't sure why he was so embarrassed. He already knew that Macaque could pick up on his emotions pretty accurately through his magic just by being near him. Though he sort of likened that to being able to tell by someone's expression how they were feeling. But to be able to feel exactly what he'd been feeling in that moment? In all it's intensity? To know how absolutely sickeningly besotted he was with him?

He was never going to recover.

A little shyly, Macaque admitted, "I didn't hate it. It was... Pretty incredible actually. I, er, sort of wish you could know what it felt like but, y'know, the other way round."

He was powerless but to move closer as he asked, "Yeah...?"

"Yeah... Only fair, right? For you to know how I feel."

Later, he would ponder if it could be possible. If he honed his magic sensitivity to even a fraction of that of Macaque's maybe he would be able to feel it to some extent. There were doubtless plenty of exercises that he could try. And the payoff would definitely be worth the effort.

For right now though, he was a little too enamoured by the charged atmosphere that was surrounding them. Their tails found each other almost unthinkingly, but once hands started to find their way to hips and shoulders however he could only be thankful for how efficiently the shadows could get them somewhere private.

----

It was a rare thing for MK to drop by unannounced but apparently he'd been flying back home from visiting a friend when he realised how close to the island he was and had decided to drop in and say hi. He'd been apologetic for not calling ahead but Wukong had been quick to wave him off, he was always welcome here and Wukong was always happy to see him.

Macaque had, of course, heard him well before he reached them and had told him he would hang out elsewhere on the island so the two could catch up. It really wasn't necessary, it would be nice for all three of them to spend some time together, and he'd said as much. A quick compromise had been reached though, because as much as he'd meant what he'd said, he did love having some one-on-one time with MK. Macaque would join them in a little while.

Currently MK was showing him videos and pictures from Gōngzhǔ and Niú's most recent party and filling him in on highlights from the night. He'd already seen most of it online, and Macaque had been there so he'd already heard all the gossip but none of that was anywhere near a good enough reason to stop him from listening with rapt attention.

It was as he was flicking through the pictures that he stopped on one that had Macaque in the background with a woman beside him, he asked MK, "Oh, is that this Lady Jiānyá that Mac was telling me about?"

"Hm? Oh yeah! She would not leave him alone! I think she thought he was just playing hard to get or something? Which is weird because I thought it was pretty common knowledge that he was with you."

Well, it was common knowledge to those that knew them and probably anyone employed by the Demon Bull Clan but outside of that the world likely assumed the Monkey King was happily single, kicking back, enlightened, on Flower Fruit Mountain. And really it was probably better that way - it would bring Macaque no shortage of hardships to advertise who he was in a relationship with.

He considered the photo, interest in Lady Jiānyá already lost, as he focused on Macaque's outfit, "Well, with a getup like that who can blame her for trying her luck? I think that might be some of my finest work."

MK laughed, "Oh yeah, that's what she was interested in. Although, I've got to admit it is a super nice outfit. I can never get over the fact that you make all Mac's clothes from scratch! Maybe I should come to you next time I have to go to one of these parties!"

He had been teasing but Wukong's tail gave an excited little flick even as he tried to play it cool, "Y'know, I probably have some outfits that are just your size - how about we go have a look? See if there's anything you fancy."

Outfits that were exactly his size, made specifically for him. And he had designs for plenty more.

MK put up some token protests, but he was easily swayed and the two of them spent a very enjoyable afternoon trying on the various clothes that he had made for both of them.

MK had clocked on pretty fast that these outfits had been tailor made for him and he had questioned, a little suspiciously, how Wukong had possibly gotten his measurements. But that was an easy answer - the Tailor Trio, at Red Son's request, had made MK a number of outfits over the years and they weren't hard to bribe.

And then Macaque joined them and he had been disgusted by the lack of flair to this fashion show and so with a little bit of magic they had a mini cat walk with an audience to go with it. Macaque, star and director of the whole thing, obviously.

He was surprised no monkeys had been drawn to the fun and he had a feeling Macaque was possibly doing something to keep them at bay. Which he appreciated because to be honest he would be more than a little upset if they ruined any of these clothes.

By the end of the day, MK had a phone filled with pictures of the three of them and he had a feeling he might have to make some more clothes for some more people once a certain dragon saw them. But he found he wasn't too upset about that as he and Macaque cheerfully said their goodbyes to MK.

----

It was long after they'd had dinner that night that Macaque interrupted the show they were watching to say, "It wasn't just your outfit that had Lady Jiānyá all over me, y'know."

Wukong had looked at him uncomprehendingly for a long moment, before giving up, "What?"

Disinterestedly, he responded, "I could be wearing rags and I'd still have suitors begging for even a glance in their direction."

He turned so he could face Macaque, leaning back on the arm of the chair, bemused, "Oh? You trying to say I don't know that it wasn't just my incredible talent that had that demon fawning over you?"

"Wasn't just her. I basically have to fight off interested parties with a stick every time I attend one of those parties."

He propped his head up on his arm, as he grinned, "You don't say? Must be that humility of yours that they find so attractive."

He wasn't sure what Macaque's angle was here - was he fishing for compliments? Neither of them were really one for calling the other handsome or beautiful or the like but he wasn't against it in theory. Or did he want a reaction? It would be unusual but he could maybe see that being something Mac could be into.

It turned out to be neither.

"I know I'm no "Handsome" Monkey King but believe it or not people think I'm quite the looker." The façade broke, "Or they did. Back when my face actually looked like this."

Oh.

He sat up a little straighter, all humour leaving him, as he waited for Macaque to continue.

He laughed a little self-deprecatingly, "It feels like something I should have grown out of. The desire to have everyone looking at me in awe. God knows, without the glamours it wouldn't be anything close to awe they looked at me with. It would be with pity, revulsion, if they could even stand to look at me at all. I can't say that doesn't at least play a small part in why I can't take them down around you."

He would like to say that it didn't matter to him how Macaque looked, that he'd love him regardless, but while it may be true. It wasn't helpful, and that wasn't what he was worried about.

"Macaque... I can't say that I wouldn't look at you differently without your glamours. Especially, not at first. Pity and revulsion wouldn't get a look in but I couldn't pretend that it would never upset or anger me to see the evidence of everything you've been through. But I've also never really looked at you with awe because of your looks, y'know? Not because you aren't, y'know, objectively attractive or anything I just..."

It felt awkward to say he'd never really looked at Macaque's face and thought it was beautiful. But he hadn't ever thought of anyone's face like that. He understood what most people considered to be attractive but he had just never really understood it.

That's not to say that he didn't love Macaque's face. The way his eyes lit up with mischief, or the way he showed so many teeth when he laughed, or the hundreds of other little expressions he knew so well - they all certainly invoked beautiful feelings within him.

Maybe he was worrying over semantics but he didn't think that Mac's scars would stop him feeling that way.

But equally, he wasn't sure how he'd feel about having such prominent scars, he already hid the ones he did have from everyone but Macaque and the monkeys. And he could admit he had enough pride and vanity that he'd probably struggle with letting the world see him with scars like Macaque's.

He could tell himself all he wanted that he would still feel comfortable having his glamours off around Macaque but he wasn't sure if it was actually true.

Mac's didn't seem to take offence though, "I know... But the thought of standing next to you, the Handsome Monkey King, looking the way I do... It just fills me with shame."

It would be nothing short of insulting to mention he had his own scars that likely made him less attractive. It wasn't comparable, Macaque's scars were disfiguring, if he were to go without his glamours out in the world people would stop and stare.

But he wasn't out in the world, he was here, with him, and he shouldn't ever have to feel ashamed of how he looked, especially not in comparison to him but it didn't feel enough to say that.

Slowly he started, "How do we work on that? To make that feeling go away? What-?" He made a quiet, frustrated sound as tried to reword his question better, "How did you overcome that feeling last time? You know, when we were..."

Macaque looked faintly embarrassed as he looked away, "It was just a heat of the moment thing. I just... I know how badly you want to see me without my glamours and in that moment all I could feel was... was how much you loved me and... everything just felt right, like it would be ok, I wasn't thinking of the consequences. I... I just wanted to give as much as I was getting and to be as close to you as possible, no hiding away."

Macaque paused for a moment, clearly struggling to find the right words, before continuing, "I'm not saying I don't want that now, I do, but even if I can get over the shame. We don't, I mean, I don't want to-" he took a breath and faced him, "Wukong, some of my scars will just bring up a whole host of bad and awkward feelings. And we'll probably have to talk about it and I don't know if I'll ever be ready to talk about that day."

There was no need to ask what day he was referring to. They had talked around it during their big reconciliation years ago but neither of them had been prepared to discuss it in detail.

He had the sudden realisation that Macaque hadn't let down all his glamours last time, there were two glaring scars missing that his tired and hazy mind hadn't picked up on at the time. There should have been matching scars on Macaque's back and stomach.

His ears started ringing.

After their bloody fight, Macaque had made a desperate lunge for his master and all he had been able to think about was stopping him. He had brought his staff down on his back with such force that it went right through him, pinning him to the earth.

He hadn't paused, letting go of his staff and moving his master a safe distance away. But he hadn't been able to let go of his master's arms as he stood trembling as he heard the choked sobs from behind him, unable to comprehend what he had just done, immortality be damned.

Seconds had felt like an eternity before his master's gentle call of his name had registered. He had let go and slowly turned around to see that the gruesome scene he had created had gotten worse.

One eye was how it had been - swollen, the blood he'd gotten in it forcing it shut but the other... In the seconds he'd had his back turned Macaque had clawed it out.

He's not sure why he just stood there, watching as Macaque's hitching breaths faded to nothing. Distantly, he knew that he had to remove his staff so that the peaches could start to heal the wound but he couldn't move.

He'd killed Macaque.

The peaches would revive him but that didn't change what he'd done.

He had flinched at his master's featherlight touch on his shoulder, not able to hear whatever he might have been saying. It was enough to finally break his trance however and he unsteadily made his way over to Macaque.

His hands shook as they took hold of his staff, and a sob escaped him when it didn't immediately come free, embedded in the ground below, he didn't want to force it out. Thankfully, his master had followed him, quietly telling him to shrink it.

He narrowed it and pulled it free before staggering back and collapsing to his knees a short distance away, unable to look away.

Hollow and hoarse, he said, "Master, you have to get away. When he comes back, I don't know what he'll do. Go to the others. I... I'll think of something."

"Wukong, he's..."

"He's eaten the immortal peaches. In a few minutes he'll be breathing again, in a few hours he'll be standing. You need to leave."

His master had been doubtful and it had taken a desperate shout for him to leave for him to finally walk away.

He kept up his vigil as his mind desperately tried to think of what to do, of what to say. But it all became meaningless as minutes became hours and nothing changed - his wounds didn't heal, his chest didn't begin to rise and fall.

He had started to babble in that time - apologies, admonishments, pleas - becoming increasingly desperate as time went on. When eventually he found the strength to use his Golden Vision it revealed nothing but a corpse.

His staff rolled from his lap as he finally released it from the white knuckled hold he'd had on it, "Mac...?"

He stood unsteadily, hand outreached as he took a step closer, only for Macaque's body to suddenly start to melt in a familiar purple hue. He tripped as he tried to get to him but by the time he fell to his knees beside where he had been he was grasping at shadows.

He swallowed down his nausea. Just the mention of that day was enough to leave him feeling sick and retched. He did his best to focus on Macaque in front of him, here and alive.

He took a steadying breath, "I understand. I don't think I'm ready to talk about it either. I... I didn't mean to put any pressure on you about your glamours. I'd be lying if I didn't want to see you without them but you have your reasons for keeping them on and I promise I respect that. You never have to take them off if you don't want to. I won't ever ask you to."

Macaque looked a little frustrated, "But that's the thing. I do want to take them off, I just can't work up the nerve."

Wukong considered this carefully before tentatively suggesting, "I know it might involve a bit of work on reconfiguring things on your end but maybe you can just take off some of your glamours...? Like, so maybe just some of your scars show or your ears maybe?"

Macaque looked uncertain as he responded, "Yeah, I... I could maybe do that. I only have a couple of spots with extra glamours but I could try and change that..."

He was quick to reassure him, "You don't have to though! I'm just spitballing ideas!"

"No, it's a good idea. I should have thought of it myself really. I'll think about it." He then stood up, "I think I need a minute though."

Despite the bolt of anxiety that went through him, he nodded, "Yeah, sure, of course. I, er, I'll be right here."

Macaque walked over to him and brought a hand to his face as he kissed his cheek, "I'll just be in my room."

He hesitated, before giving into the urge to wrap his arms tightly around him for only a moment. He might want to be as close as possible to Macaque after remembering that awful day but he could imagine remembering the same thing might cause him to want the exact opposite.

He let him go with a quiet, "I love you."

"I love you too. I'll get you in bed later, ok?"

"Ok."

----

Glamours didn't come up again for a little while, Wukong determined not to mention them before Macaque did.

But it really shouldn't have come as a surprise to him when one day between getting up to grab a drink from the kitchen and coming back to sit on the couch Macaque had taken down some of his glamours with absolutely no warning.

He choked on his drink as he noticed that two ears had become six and he wasted precious time coughing up a lung. Despite laughing at him, it was clear Macaque was tense, clearly nervous about how their appearance would be received.

That didn't stop Wukong from cursing him and complaining that he'd done that on purpose but once the theatrics were out the way he let his eyes have their fill, flicking between each set and taking in every little detail.

The left set were exactly as they'd always been but Macaque hadn't opted to hide away the scarring on the right and Wukong felt an odd mix of gratitude and pride towards him for that.

He shuffled closer, raising his hands slowly, "Can I...?"

Macaque closed his eyes as he nodded and Wukong couldn't stop himself from keeping his touch feather soft as he ran his fingers along them with reverence. The texture on his right ears was notably different but he was in no way deterred.

"Can I...?"

Macaque nodded again, not needing any clarification, as he tilted his head so his good ears were closer to him.

This had been a favourite game of Wukong's back when they were younger. Tackling Macaque so he could cup his ears and see how they were glowing. You could only see the faint light in the dark but they had been the prettiest colours.

They had never been able to figure out why they glowed or if the different colours meant anything. All six ears always glowed the same colour but nothing seemed to prompt a particular shade to appear. Macaque's emotions or his physical state didn't seem to matter, not did any environmental factor. They just glowed however they liked.

He found himself nervous to see if they still glowed or if the Void had taken that from him too. He didn't let himself hesitate however, cupping his hands around all three ears and bringing his face right up next to them, he couldn't explain the relief he felt when he saw the faintest lavender glow from within.

He gave a small laugh as he pulled back, feeling a little emotional, he said, "They still glow."

He wasn't sure what to make of Macaque's expression as he asked, "What colour?"

"Lavender."

His expression fell slightly but he turned his head and offered the other set of ears before he could ask, "Check the other ones for me?"

He did so and it was with great reluctance he pulled back and told him, "I don't see anything."

He looked like he'd been expecting as much as Wukong moved his hands away so that Macaque could bring up one of his own to lightly touch his ears, "I guess I should be grateful that the left ones glow at all. Even if they probably don't glow the same as they did. I have a feeling they won't change from that colour."

Wukong brought up a hand to rest on his good ears, gently running his thumb over them, "I'll check them again later. But for what it's worth, they're still one of the prettiest colours I've ever seen."

Macaque huffed a little laugh, "Well, listen to you, Casanova."

"I'm serious. I hope you're prepared for me to try and get a look at them every time your ears are unglamoured."

Macaque rolled his eyes, "Just like back in the day, eh?"

He grinned, "Not quite because now every time I look at them I'll pay the toll."

"Oh? What toll?"

He leaned in close and placed a gentle kiss on the rim of each of his left ears. The last one he left with an audible "mwah", before pulling back and looking pleased with himself.

Macaque laughed, "You think that's the price of admission, huh? That all the "one of the prettiest colour you've ever seen" is worth to you?"

He kissed his lips before pulling back just enough to say, "Name your price. I'll pay anything for the privilege."

Macaque's tone was full of the mischief he loved so much, "Anything? That's brave of you. You sure about that?"

"When have I ever backed down? Try me."

He felt Macaque's hands slide up his thighs to rest on his hips, "How about we take this somewhere more comfortable and negotiate the terms? I want to see how persuasive you can be."

The answer was very.

Especially, when three sets of ears proved even more sensitive to honeyed words infused with magic than one.

--Chapter End--

Chapter Navigation: First | Prev | Next

LMK Fanfic Masterlist

[grungebutsoft]

if Jon and Martin ever had TikTok pre-getting together, Jon would have a blank account and only repost videos of funny cats and Jon would also absolutely stalk Martin’s page obsessively and like melt a little bit every time he saw Martin’s cutely edited baking/cooking attempts

[dykedvonte]

Can you talk about trans!Curly a little bit more? I'm curios if you have any headcanons and the like

-💀

It's just such a thing in my mind because it adds a truthful sadness and differing aspect to mouthwashing.

If Curly was trans it adds the horror of the horribly selfish thought he could have easily been in Anya's situation. It could've been him but it wasn't and he so conflicted on the pit it put in his stomach that brings and the shameful relief it wasn't. In this scenario he is friends with Jimmy for a long time still. Jimmy likely knew him pretransition. Maybe he gave Curly weird looks then, maybe they never stopped after, maybe they seemed meaner. They are guys now, bros, both of them are. He doesn't really have to worry what those looks mean anymore, Jimmy just has that face with him sometimes. It's recontextualizing a lot of things for him that he was in denial about or too ashamed to admit. How naive he was being and how he let that get another person hurt.

Specifically with Anya, it's he knows the dread and fear she's feeling. He can understand it because he had to live with it for a good portion of his life, he knows it cause he still does, just in a slightly different way. It makes him think of all the times he's been alone with Jimmy, all the times he's been way more drunk off his ass and not remember the night, Jimmy was always with him the next day. Makes him think of the comments he would laugh off both because that's what guys do but because that part of being a girl says to laugh so Jimmy doesn't do something. It's the selfish realization that he was never safe and he's uncertain now too. Mad at himself for forgeting that feeling, espcially since for a long time he would've been considered the only woman on a crew (with all that implies) for a long time.

He should've taken those blinders off, step back into that position for just a moment and it's so much more painful that Anya likely came to him because he should've gotten it. Those thoughts don't leave his mind after the crash when he's in an even more vulnerable position than she was...

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Leave wildlife alone. He probably bites.

 [First] Prev <–-> Next

[phagodyke]

the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍

[transmascutena]

btw whenever i mention utena and anthy "being in love" i need you to know that i mean that in a distinctly aromantic way. but don't ask me to elaborate on that, the way i understand their relationship makes sense only to me and i would not be able to articulate what i mean

[tanicus-caesareth]

guarana drama, damage control

[bmpmp3]

dysgraphic artiƨts risɘ UP!!!!!

[cookinguptales]

Thank you so much for the tarot reading you did for me a little while back 💜 i'm sorry it's taken me so long to say that! i do rather think you have prophetic gifts, by the way- it was spookily accurate and helped me a lot 🔮

No problem! I'm glad it was helpful to you!

I do tend to get at least one message like this every time I do a tarot night for my followers, and like... you are totally entitled to that belief! What do I know about psychic phenomena and prophecy anyway? lmao. Maybe I am psychic.

But personally, I believe that tarot has a high likelihood of speaking to us no matter what, if just because the archetypal nature of the cards means that they're dealing with problems that we all struggle with. We all have self-doubt, we all have complicated relationships with money, we all crave love of some kind. We all have trauma in our past and we all want to believe that this time, things could be okay.

One of the reasons I like tarot cards is because they are inanimate objects that we imbue with meaning. They were just playing cards, y'know? We're the ones that gave them power over us, and we did that by filling them with our own stories. We placed a mirror in those cards, and while mirrors can be used for scrying, they can also just be used to take a good hard look at ourselves.

If I say "oh, you've had money troubles in the past," who doesn't that apply to? Maybe I'm thinking about me, when we were homeless for a while when I was a kid. Maybe someone else is thinking about the money they lost to gambling last week. Maybe someone else, someone wildly wealthy, is thinking about a stock market crash that brought their five mansions down to two. Maybe a final person has just never had quite enough to make ends meet. God knows that describes a lot of people.

I like tarot because we can all look at the same spread and see something different. I see a story to tell to the best of my ability, and that's how I do readings. But for the people getting those readings, they're often looking into little mirrors and seeing how they reflect their own personal experiences.

Because, you know, we all see different things in the same mirror! That's how tarot works, I think. Maybe some people are a little better at reading things in that mirror and interpreting what they see there, but we all see something new and different and deeply, deeply personal when we look at those cards.

Love that for us.

[uncanny-tranny]

Hi 💛 I wanted to ask you something, it's been bothering me lately: I've always known that I'm attracted to people regardless of gender. At 15 I called it bisexual. At 17 I started using the label pansexual. Came out as a trans man at 23. I'm now 26 and I'm not sure if bi or pan work for me anymore. I know that I'm still attracted to people regardless of gender, but my experiences as a man in society have made the label gay resonate a lot more with me. Is that okay? What does this mean? Confused

It means whatever you want it to mean. People all across the queer community have used "gay" as shorthand for decades now (maybe including queer people you love). If you just don't vibe with bi/pan on their own, then you don't have to have them on their own. There's nothing wrong with being bi or pan, but there's also nothing wrong with feeling like that doesn't quite encapsulate your relationship with your queerness.

Basically:

[sleepingfancies]

damn... octavia "rook" laidir's chokehold on me !