#this hurts why is this so hard?
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
WHAT AM I?!!
Am I girl? Am I boy? Neither?! Both?!!
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
all i have left
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fanart#jjk fanart#fushiguro megumi#itadori yuuji#yuuji#megumi#hhhhhhhhh why angsty mood im hurting my me :((((((#go from megumi angst 2 dumb outfits then HARD pivot back 2 angst#u dont understand th clench in my heart i get drawing th sukuna scars on megumi i genuinely hate it so much#theyre such a Part of yuuji's design tht drawing them on megumi feels so viscerally wrong n it just hammers home that nothing is alright#had to listen 2 the cutesiest music possible while drawing this 2 keep myself sane#miku miku beam th pain away :)#real talk tho like. im really not one to b terribly emotionally affected by my own art. or to draw from my Own emotional state at all rly#i tend 2 keep myself pretty distant#but theres smth abt this one man this one pulls at th kokoro :(#suffering from success ig :/#created an emotionally poignant piece n it hurt. 0/10 wld not recommend. am going back to drawing boys shirtless >:c#gna draw something else so i stop feeling genuine human emotion
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:
i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???
#ramble#sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well#if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD#he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE#like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one#holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do#and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that#idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything#also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore#so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks#also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently#also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this#again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable#if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time
658 notes
·
View notes
Note
In your necromancer Rulie Au Legend just kinda seems to follow around with a blank stare in every pic besides how surprised he looked right when he was revived.
How there is Legend, like..... mentally? Does he know who he is? Does he remember his life? Is his mind as sharp as it used to be or is it muddled and hard to think straight?
If remnants of the decay in his limbs stick around the logical continuation is that his brain decayed from the lack of oxygenated blood from. Ya know. Being dead. And that resulted in brain damage like when people aren't brought back with CPR fast enough
Legend knows who he is and generally remembers his life but has trouble retrieving memories. He has constant brain fog. Sometimes the fog clears up and Hyrule is happier on days like that since Legend responds more and talks longer than a few words
But its the days when is mind is clear when Legend feels horrified with the situation he's in. He used to do something about it, like putting himself back to 'sleep' but Hyrule wakes him up and heals any injury his body has– so Legend is just resigned now.
Him following Rulie around with a dead (pun intended) expression is Legend going "this might as well be happening" Or has brain fog <-(the usual reason)
Thanks for the interesting tidbit about brain decay/damage! It explains leg's constant brainfog quite nicely! :D
#Leg was pretty aware when he first got revived so thats why his reaction was like that#<-(me half bullshitting)#Honestly I never planned to expand that first drawing lmao#But I thought out how legend's body would feel#Like how it'd be hard to move at first (rigor mortis)#Moving around would help with the stiffness#And talking hurt a bit at first/ after any length of time he didnt talk#linked universe#lu legend#necromancer hyrule#my art
173 notes
·
View notes
Photo
Ah, childhood memories (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Sans#Gaster#Having such clear external-view memories of what happened when they were young would probably give Sans a lot of ammunition lol#Not that they'd know any different - their poor memories honestly :( - but having such clear memories in places would have to be weird#Most people have childhood amnesia to an extent! Tho it's hard to say when that would've applied to them anyway with their sped-up growth#Not to mention the trauma#And it's possible that doesn't apply to Monsters to begin with lol - but it's all a moot point anyway since these are their only memories!#It's sad to think of how much of themselves are missing forever since Gaster didn't experience them :(#This is what happens when you get behind on your work >:0#I really wonder what their lack of memories/restoration of memories would do for their like/dislike of certain things!#Like how Papyrus says that sitting with Sans in his lap makes a lot of sense as to why it was so familiar and comforting#But also that knowing makes it sad as well :( Knowing recolours their understanding and interpretation!#Knowing Why makes things make sense but does it actually Help? It's a tough question - certainly it hurts in the moment#The little things Gaster has infected for them and for himself ♥ Like taking notes! Like chess and sweets and spaghetti and lab coats#And dark sweaters and cigarette smoke and hugs and intelligence - how many pieces of all of them have A Feeling attached#How many more have A Memory - and even more than that A Memory Lost and unrecoverable ughhh ♥#But the little things they can hold on to hehe <3 Like pinging Gaster for what they all know and remember#Why does he even keep coming over if he knows the reception he'll get? Lol#Feels particularly self-loathing and goes to get bullied as penance pfft
724 notes
·
View notes
Text
If My Body Could Speak, Blythe Baird | The Godfather, Mario Puzo | My Father's House, Sylvia Fraser | To The Daughter Who Secretly Longs For Her Mother’s Affection, Lynne Shako | Storms from Jupiter, Wanda Deglane | DO NOT REPLY, @filmnoirsbian
#connie corleone#carmela corleone#the godfather#web weaving#this is...quite negative towards carmela i guess#so i just want to make it clear that i actually really love her as a character and i actually can understand how she became who she was#she was a woman born in the late 19th century raised not just in a patriarchal society but a CATHOLIC patriarchal society#who therefore grew up learning that she was primarly defined by her relationship to her husband and her capacity to be a 'good wife'#so i totally understand why she would take some type of sick pride in knowing that her husband never 'had' to hit her#but like...that entire part of the book was legit hard to read and Carmela was really not that much better than Vito there#so it's kinda hard for me not side eyed the shit out of her when she blame Connie for being a neglectful mom#like geez Carmela I wonder why your daugther might be struggling I'm sure it has nothing to do with anything you did or refused to do...#i'll say that she did end up being concerned for Connie and trying to help so she definitely deserves some points here#unlike Vito's dumbass who was just like 'it really hurts me to know that my daughter is being hit all the time but i can't do anything :('#'I'll tell her it's all her fault and that she deserves to be hit that will surely help somehow'#Vito really spent the entirety of this book being like 'nothing and I mean NOTHING matters more than blood (conditions very much applies)'#domestic violence mention
284 notes
·
View notes
Text
you never change, do you
#thomas the tank engine#thomas and friends#casa tidmouth#ttte henry#ttte gordon#3x4#senjart#I DONT CARE.#I DONT CAAAARRRREEEEEE!!!!!!!#<— he did in fact care.#thinking too hard about this pic makes my head hurt#its okay if you hate me. its okay if you think Im not the same man that you know. its okay if you refuse to change.#I’ll change for you. because thats how things are always like from the very start#Ill listen to all your stories even though you wont listen to mine#maybe thats how you always are gordon. its okay#youre so selfish. so greedy. so childish! but its okay. thats okay. thats why I’m here to take care of you#you dont want to hug me back? hold me? thats fine by me. anything for you gordon#……#………. WELL#WELLLLLLLL#GOODNIGHT ALL. I NEED TO BE SEDATED
422 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thank you. I'm sorry.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jin guangyao#lan wangij#jin ling#LWJ shifting into fight mode was so damn cool. He is always ready to start throwing hands.#It's in a way that befits someone with a bit more bloodlust that his calm demeanor lets on - but nearly always in defense of someone.#What a great synergy with his personal philosophies! see that he is a Genuinely Noble Guy time and time again!#Is is also way more hilarious and unhinged than most people give him credit for? Also yes.#Nothing and no one ever said he did not or would not rip off JGY's hat mid-fight. I think LWJ needs to snatch more wigs LITERALLY.#Yes I'm delaying the part where I have to address the emotional turmoil of Jin Ling stabbing wwx. It gutted me terribly.#What is worse that realizing that someone you respected has done horrible things#than discovering someone who did horrible things being a kind and trustworthy person?#What is more horrifying that realizing other people are extremely complex and cannot be categorized into black and white?#When people hurt us or our loved ones we very much want to make them out to be irredeemable monsters. But they are not.#It is not actually such a terrible fate to just be a person. To be forgiven and forgive is possible. To change is possible.#This lesson is hard. It is something you have to actively challenge yourself to do. Black and white is the innate path to go down.#And its *why* I love Jin Ling so much. He is the character who fights the longest and hardest to challenge social and personal beliefs#He gets a pass for stabbing wwx for being so deliciously conflicted and tormented by it.#And with wrists THAT limp I can't imagine the wound was particularly deep
909 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think the tragedy of Johnny Silverhand is that he really does fall in love. He loved Kerry, he loved Rogue, he loved Alt, I’m sure he loved others. Was he good at showing it? No. Was he good at relationships? Absolutely fucking not. Toxic angry manipulative man child hours. Was he good at communication or managing his emotions or working on himself as a person? Lol. Was he even able to admit to himself how much of a fucker he was? Maybe sometimes. But the love was absolutely there.
#i think that’s why they can’t fully give him up either#somewhere under that miserable reactive sleazy charisma is someone who cares so much it hurts#and the hard truth is they’re happier without him#but they’d all move heaven and earth for him and vice versa because they Know#anyway i’m so normal about this shithead#johnny silverhand
164 notes
·
View notes
Text
Realized the reason why I like Sunday is that he falls into the pretty delulu man who has the potential to become unhinged category of my faves (Mr. Reca too),,, Like,,,
He's the type of guy who believes they are the only person who can keep you from harm's way and from being tainted by the world. What's that? You are tainted? That's preposterous and untrue. He proceeds to act like he has never heard such a thing. Oh, how the world has already put such labels on you. It must be a burden. Luckily, he does not see you in such a way. You have been hurt, your heart has been broken, and your faith has been tested, but that does not mean you're far from saving. There is still a light within you and he will draw it out. He'll be your salvation. He forgives you for everything held against you; a true believer in your will and light.
Any sort of mental scars and/or trauma you may have are treated like wounds and need to recover under his care. You've been wounded too much to press on, let him take you in. The strong must protect the weak, after all. That was not meant to be an insult. He was once weak as well. He was someone weak before he grew stronger. Now he is strong enough to help others who are weak. You have to ask yourself at some point; how long until you can't keep going? Who will hold your hand then? It doesn't have to get to that point, you know. Just take his hand and everything will be alright. You won't have to worry about anything. You are better off without those burdens weighing you down. You are better off being free of the pain and anguish the world has to offer. He will make sure none of it reaches your senses.
Ignorance is bliss.
#yandere hsr#yandere honkai star rail#yandere sunday#he gives the vibe of a priest who really REALLY believes in what he preaches#to the point where it's more harmful than helpful#to him and anyone involved#he has good intentions but#yeah...anyway he is the type of yan who would actually get himself hurt but brush it off#he makes good points too and that's why it's hard to reason with him#especially when the universe proves him right#so it just feeds into his delusions and that just makes things even more difficult#also also he is a worshipping type and that plays into more smutty things#I like to imagine an animatic (made my my mind) where it's playing the song Once Upon a Dream with him and his darling#softer vibes but I imagine Cendrillon and Romeo and Cinderella fitting him#yandere x reader#☆just.yandere.things☆#☆moondust.talks☆
86 notes
·
View notes
Text
does anyone else get so upset when you think about all the things that happened to your f/o... all the things they went through? all the things they haven't healed from? the pain that they may still be enduring? how you can do your best to help them but you can't protect them from everything. so you just love them the ways they needed before, how they deserved. and you see them happy because they finally accept, at least in some ways, that they do deserve it. they deserve love like all beings do
#i get so upset when i think about it for too long; i'm there for them now but there was nothing i could do; wanna go back and protect them#i'm like this with everyone i care about (real and fictional) and sometimes it's hard#it's about hans this time. i just can't believe all the things that happened to him#no wonder he's terrible! no one cared about him! why should he care! all he knows is pain and neglect! except from me!#i know why he sees everyone else as worthless because that's exactly how everyone he knew saw him first; he was supposed to be loved#they all used him up til he was nothing and that's all he knows#i can't even read certain parts of a frozen heart again because i just cried so much the first time... he didn't deserve that#no one does#and then the comics detailing it all even FURTHER#he was like any other innocent kid and seeing that progression hurt so much. i could get into the details but ugh#hux's age of resistance comic did the same thing. i can't even look at the first 2 pages; it's too much. i just want to hold him#anyway... i'm fine :') i've made a post like this before but i'm feeling it so hard right now#self ship
294 notes
·
View notes
Text
also i think if roleswap laios and canon laios met theyd immediately start fighting.
#canon laios would blurt out 'why do you look like our dad' and fisticuffs ensue.#shuro........ is a little more complicated#if canon shuro doesnt think too hard about it and just treats the other him like a stranger then theres no problem#on the other hand i imagine he holds himself to high standards and if he sees his other self doing things he considers improper or uncouth.#i imagine hed only speak up if he saw it happen A Lot like hed pull him aside like hey... what the fuck#thered be a bit of 'holy shit i woulda turned out like THAT??' on both sides#roleswap shuro would often get frustrated but i think hed understand that like. thats how the culture is like he lived it too#but i think similarly hed watch laios steamroll og shuro and eventually be like. DUDE. just say something#shorter fuse lmao. anyways still turning this AU over in my head#how much more forward can shuro be before hes unbelievably out of character...#and what if they switched universes!!!!#if laios switched. it would be immediately obvious something is up in the og universe but it may be chalked up to like#a weird mood..... though maybe the party starts to wonder 'hey... is it not possible this is a shapeshifter' 😭#but og laios in the roleswap universe...#tbh havent thought too hard on what the party dynamics in that universe might be like assuming all else is the same save for the roleswap#i imagine chilchuck would still get on alright as long as hes being paid upfront and laios is still attentive/ recognises his abilities#and limitations also. marcille................................... hmm#she might treat him more formally and be less close.... may perceive him as more threatening at first meeting#(in terms of like. 'taking falin away' i mean if that makes sense)#but well. u kno how in canon laios Does notice a lot of things about his companions and has a very pragmatic view that surprises them#and they dont tend to notice until he says it aloud because its often overlooked cos of his. everything else.#well. id imagine roleswap laios still notices things but simply would not say it aloud.#the party would also be like .. dude... did he hit his head#if SHURO swapped...................... well it depends when exactly it happened#i imagine it could be a bigger issue with the retainers#im losing steam cos my lower back hurt so bad adgfsdfg i cant get a good position on this chair#but for shuro himself i imagine it would be nightmarish lmao.#roleswap (henceforth RS) shuro would wake up as an adult with the retainers like. ??? was that all a dream?? did i never make it out#meanwhile og shuro ending up god knows where..........#if he ended up with the retainers again he might not immediately realise somethings amiss and try to act normally
129 notes
·
View notes
Text
akai art for beloved tumblr mutual @itotypes <33 (it's a bsd x atla au btw if anyone wants to check it out.. although i wouldn't recommend it for the weak hearted)
fic name: akai || author: @/itotypes on ao3
#literally did this from character descriptions in the fic i couldn't find a reference itoooo im so sry 😭😭#rly hope i remembered the bottom scene correctly?? i think chuuya was wearing dazais clothes bc he didnt want earth nation attire💀#anyway that scene was so hot i was biting back screams the entire time#ALSO I FOUND OUT I CANT DRAW FRECKLES.. WHY IS IT SO HARD#speaking of which dazai looks so cute w freckles and a tan and black hair im investing hes so so cute in this au😭#i don't even read fics so i was very mentally unprepared for the ending.. ito could've shot me it would've hurt less#anyway forcing all my mutuals to go read akai rn. it's required#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#chuuya nakahara#nakahara chuuya#soukoku#skk#lotus draws
690 notes
·
View notes
Text
In this installment of Zosan we have: Sanji worrying about Zoro in Sabaody because of his injuries from Thriller Bark
#when zoro was showing signs of pain Sanji knew the problem IMMEDIATELY#zoro is stubborn as HELL so when the pain is making it hard for him to stand that’s how you KNOW he’s hurting like a bitch#something I’ve started to realize is that Sanji knows Zoro better than anyone#it’s really cool actually#and that’s why I’ll be loyal to zosan forever#zosan#roronoa zoro#vinsmoke sanji#zoro#sanji#zoro x sanji#zoro and sanji#one piece#sabaody archipelago#sabaody zosan#sabaody
122 notes
·
View notes
Text
one of my favorite parts of speculating ahead of the Veilguard is the number of people talking themselves around and around in the loop of "Illario is extremely suspicious and the most obvious choice for who betrayed Lucanis → However, Illario seems like he genuinely cares for Lucanis and seemed sincerely distraught in The Wake → I know in my heart it must be Illario: there is no one else with means and motive → If Illario did it, I understand why given how Caterina has treated him and them, and he has arguably earned a bit of a villain era → The situation is ultimately caused by Caterina and Crow politics and, again, Caterina → I don't want it to be Illario because I want he and Lucanis to have a good relationship given all they've suffered together → However, there is already an existing bitterness between them because of the succession question and in Illario generally because he's seen as lesser → Illario is the most obvious choice"
#so many of us are like it's gotta be Illario I don't want it to be Illario it makes sense it's Illario#It's like... it's a tragic situation because no matter what—even if it is Illario—the root cause is Caterina and she's already dead.#Speaking for myself. *I* keep doing this loop bc even if it was Illario it's hard with what we know so far for me to hold it against him?#Yes he had different choices. Obviously he could have done anything else. But like it isn't just ambition and spite.#Assuming it is him [points at the loop] it feels like a situation fostered by the way Caterina raised and hurt them both.#What methods do you feel you have when the only thing you know is knives and murder?#How else to feel when the cousin you love like a brother eventually convinces himself he doesn't hate the grandmother who ruined you both?#She is only “Caterina” in your mouths and you are “cousin” in his but he is choosing her over you and how else is there to feel?#After all: she's sharpened all your emotions into knives. They're only ever knives.#ANYWAY that got away from me there for a second#I think that's why we're doing this loop. It's gotta be Illario but it being Illario resolves little. It's not a complete catharsis.#It's really the facts of their lives. It's really what Caterina did to them. It's really the yawning pit at the center of House Dellamorte.#Illario Dellamorte#Lucanis Dellamorte#Caterina Dellamorte#Dragon Age: The Veilguard#Dragon Age The Veilguard#Veilguard#Dragon Age#DATV things#DATV spoilers#Veilguard spoilers
105 notes
·
View notes
Note
Have/do you watch atla? If so, who's your favorite character?
I love ATLA. Katara remains a strong favorite but after rewatching it in March, i think Aang is almost tied with her.
#ask quill#I think the reason why Aang is so under appreciated is because#1) the entire main cast is fantastic. it’s so hard to pick a favorite#2) petty ship wars#3) ATLA is all about Aang making bad and difficult decisions#so when the last thing he does is be given an easy solution because he refuses to deal with a hard one.#it hurts the perception of his character
126 notes
·
View notes