#questioning my gender

[yeahimatransman]

Signs from being younger that probably are signs of being trans:

Making a sock penis and wearing it in my room. Never admitting it, but wanting a penis.

Fantasizing that I was turned into a boy and choosing to stay that way.

Taking quizzes that claim to "guess your gender" and wanting to have the results say I was a boy.

This one makes me laugh, but pretending to be a boy when I would play on Club Penguin.

Really liking how I looked in our jazz band uniform which includes a men's dress shirt, dress pants, a tie, and a vest.

Signs in adulthood and right now that probably are signs of me being trans:

Buying a packer and really enjoying wearing it in public.

Loving the bulge my packer gives me and wanting to look at it all day long/wear it everyday.

Wanting a real penis.

I want a beard so bad.

Buying a binder and being frustrated that it didn't make me completely flat because I have a large chest. Kind of liking how it looked anyway when I was able to get over that and see that it did make my chest smaller.

Still fantasizing of being turned into a man and choosing to stay that way.

Going by he/him pronouns on here.

Changing my pronouns on Facebook to see it say "changed HIS profile picture" and seeing that I was listed as "brother" and "son" on my siblings and parents pages. (Changed it back out of fear of getting caught).

Changing my gender on Facebook to Male even though it's hidden.

Picturing myself in the future presenting as male with short hair, a beard, and having gotten top surgery.

I want to be a man.

AND YET I am still struggling with believing I am actually trans or that I should move forward with transitioning. There is so much that goes into this. Internalized transphobia. Inability to let go of my religion even if I don't necessarily believe because it's what I have known my whole life and all my friends are there. Religious trauma and being told that my being a woman is eternal and divine. Fear of disappointing my family and friends or confusing them/ruining our relationships. Messing with the status quo at almost 28 years old. Not being taken seriously. I probably should see a gender therapist.

I just really needed to get that all out. If anyone has any advice or ideas or maybe even just validation, I would really appreciate it.

[my-daughter-thunt]

…I think I might be a girl

[charlyarl]

You guys I like the forced-masc stuff, I'm into it, but what if I'm just a feminine guy. Like tell me how good I look in my goodwill maxi skirt and my chem crop top, while also acknowledging I'm a hot guy.

I may just be non binary.

Gender is confusing as fart.

I just wanna be myself, but I don't know what that is.

[demigod-jack-hearth]

My gender isn't gendering

[here-2-help]

Haiii! Silly little guy questioning my gender. I realized the only reason I don't like she/her pronouns is because my Dad actively uses it to upset me. I really want to use all pronouns, but I genuinely think there's trauma tied to that set of pronouns. Any tips from some cool enbies that can help me?

[thehouseofkitten]

Happy pride from my family to you! 💘 This is my first pride since coming out as questioning my gender and this is my I don't know how many prides has a pansexual person! I just want to say if anyone is feeling lost or alone just know you're not on this month you have a family with me and my partner and our little hammie and my partners doggie!

We love and respect you! FREE HAMMIE MOM HUGS FOR ALL!

PLUR 💟

[entity56]

Maybe... bigender??

[banethebloodgoat]

Questioning my gender again, who knows, I might be a boy, a girl, or a creature from hell

Anyways, back to pondering things

[sunnylittlebisexual]

Had a 🎊Gender Crisis🎊 at 2am and You All get to Witness it!!!!! 🤪🤪🤪

but anyway i realized I never feel male??????....EVER. like it's been months and months and I haven't felt male once???? Have I felt masculine? Definitely. Have I bound my chest to be flatter? Sure. Have i been a Little Guy but not a Man?? YES!! Have I felt genderless? Yeah. Have I felt female and also less female? Yep. Have my pronouns been he/him at least once in the last while too? Absolutely!! I'm so confused!!! I don't feel totally non-binary though...Am I a demigirl? CAN i be a demigirl and use he/him pronouns on occasion??! Am I just some Cis who likes to wear baggy/comfy clothes???? Wtf!!! Have i been lying to myself (or others) about feeling male??? Am I an imposter?? Would it be bad or wrong if I'm unlabeled for a time??? Fuck!!! 😰😰😰

TL;DR: I don't identify as genderflux anymore because I don't ever feel male

[stars-on-my-bedroom-ceiling]

i've recently been thinking i'm pangender/something close to that

idk why i'm shouting this to the whole world but yeah

because sometimes i wanna be a girl

and sometimes i wanna be more agender leaning

and--yeah you get it i want to be a lot of things

maybe bigender girl and nonbinary?

[kikothedragoncat]

My gender? 1970-89 rock guitar.

[crimsoncorpse03]

Unrelated / personal life post

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I'm questioning my gender ansjsbdjdh um I think I might be ftm or demiboy or atleast more masc presenting djdhsjdhdhr. He/they pronouns still plz but uhhhh I prefer he/him currently. Also I still go by basil but I'm thinking abt experimenting with the name max !! °\(^o^)/°

[m0ch1gh0st1]

I'm suddenly questioning my pronouns

I know I'm no girl... well, socially (FUCK THAT)

But then I'm over here thinking "uhhhh... I suddenly don't feel genderless..."

So uh...

Demiboy???

All I know anymore is that I'm bi

[saibrael]

Tw Vent

I feel a lot of things about my name.

It's my birthright, but I feel like it's so far from me-- a version of myself that I have to earn. I have to become worthy of. And I'm not there yet-- I'm am not that Devine She, yet. I'm not her. I can't be her. I am her. But I'm also some scared little boy pretending to be a soldier, fighting for a cause that's above me. I am her, but, she's not me. Who am I then?

I am called "they", or "he", and my curves are a secret that i keep for the silence of my bathroom mirror, lace and flowers and a softness that I have to guard so closely, because She is strong and Devine, and the way the world views me is fragile. She can be all of that, she is all of that, soft and hard and so strong and so weak and so resilient and so fragile-- She is Feminine. But I must be safe, I must be guarded, I must be strong and resilient and I must hide every soft edge I have because I'm not allowed to have them. I must be safe. Androgynous.

I feel like I've not grown into my name yet. It means the light of god. It feels so foreign for me-- I scream "please call me by my name", and also recoil when it's said, "I cannot be who you're referring to."

Am I even a person? My name says that I am. My name says that I'm Her, feminine, soft-strong, resilient-fragile. But the world says I must be weak, or strong, and never both. Because to be a woman is to be controlled-- a wife, a daughter, a mother, never more.

But the old gods say that Aphrodite was a War Goddess before the Goddess of Love.

So for now, I have no name. I just reply to words people say. I go by this or this, "what is your preference?", I don't have one, "but what do you want to be called?" I don't know.

A slur feels more comfortable than my name sometimes.

[georgiesblurredbones]

there’s nothing wrong with detransition or with feeling like your identity or labels may have changed!! if you’re a lesbian that’s awesome! being gay is cool as hell <3 it’s not uncommon for transmascs to realize we resonate with wlw dynamics

This Is Actually Rlly Sweet 2 Be Seeing In My Inbox, Especially From Someone I(Probably) Don’t Know :3 Thank U Whoever U R For Sending This In 2 Me. I’ve Been Struggling With My Identity For As Long As I Can Remember And This Just Gave Me All of The Verbal Validation I’ve Needed For So Long. I Know I’ve Never Been Completely Male, Yeah I Relate To Male Characters Half The Time But I End Up Headcanoning/Designing Nearly All of Them As Transfem/Non-Binary. I’ve Never Been Fully Male Even Though I Wear a Binder Almost Every Day, I’ve Never Been Fully Non-Binary Even Though I Like Being Called ‘They/Them’, I’ve Never Been Fully Female Even Though I Like Stereotypically Female Things, But I Know I Will Only Ever Be Able To Like Women, Regardless of My Gender, Like Yeah Men Are Alright Ig But Women R Lowkey My Thing. I Don’t Know What I Am But I Hope I Figure Out Soon, But There’s Always Time 2 Figure That Stuff Out. Thank U Again Anon, Ur The Nicer Person Ever :3

Me 2 This Specific Anon /Pos:

[bookwyrminspiration]

every time I think about my gender I get confused so I simply stopped thinking about it. it is not my problem