#this has been the most draining thing in a while

[violetasteracademic]

Rambling thoughts post. Won't delete.

I learned a long time ago to stop commenting on the state of the ship war/ SJM fandom as a whole and asking people to be kinder, and anyone who has followed me for a while (which sounds silly to say since I've only been here since March) has likely witnessed my slow disillusionment of the SJM fandom space. As my therapist said, if you keep trying to clean up debris in someone's house who refuses to fix their roof, you'll drain yourself for nothing. (That was about my ex husband but hey I think it applies here.) I've also realized that in the long run, individual creators don't matter, really. There are too many creators in this space who burn out and disappear and even if it upsets or disappoints people in the moment, there is always someone to replace them. I'm very replaceable. My thoughts really don't matter. But here they are anyway.

The SJM tumblr space is extremely hostile and negative. But it isn't all hostile and negative, and the more I filter out the shipwar content and anti content (seriously, I have filters on anti elriel, anti gwynriel, anti elucien, and shipwar buzzwords like delusional, reading comprehension, touch grass, ECT and thank you to my dear friend @yourstarsmyscars for showing me how much more the filters can do than I realized!) the more free I am to see how many kind and wonderful creators there are on here making cute art and amazing fanfics and nourishing a positive fandom ecosystem.

Again, I don't matter in the long run. I'm not sure how many people even still follow me really since I've stopped engaging in the shipwars beyond art, fics, and kind posts. But I do want to let anyone out there who, like me, has had their tolerance for the ship wars plummet to the core of the earth, break through the crust in the middle of the Pacific ocean, and then drift into space, know that there IS kindness in this fandom beyond the noise. There are people doing great work on all sides, who are welcoming to all, and just trying to create something people will enjoy.

I can't say I'll be here forever, or even much longer. But I feel moved to signal boost the positivity. I also know that, although I do believe I tried very hard to be positive and not insulting the majority of the time, I had days that I let the negativity get to me and I was snarkier than I wish I would have been. I'm truly sorry if I ever made a post that even remotely hurt anyone's feelings or added to the negativity. I'd go back and delete them, but frankly they are my most popular posts and still get reblogged so it feels sort of pointless since reblogs don't get deleted.

Although I am an Elriel in my heart of hearts, I want to continue to be a welcoming space for all. If that means my followers get cut in half or only a few people interact with my posts, that's okay with me. I can't try to patch the roof of the fandom, but I can keep my own space toasty and warm for anyone looking for reprieve, regardless of who you ship. I've stated multiple times here that I'm the only Elriel in my IRL friendships, and I love my friends dearly. I tried to speak to Tumblr as a whole the way I'd speak to them, and I didn't always do that. But the world is too abysmal and scary and a lot of SJM fans come online and struggle to find a space that isn't extremely hostile and negative.

Here's to all the goofy little spooks making art, fics, texts, and transcending the shipwars and just trying to connect over the things we love.

In the words of our Lord and Savior Taylor Swift, I want to be defined by the things I love, not the things I hate.

Also still committed to writing a banger Elain Lucien and Azriel throuple once I get through my laundry list of current fics. Maybe a quadruple with Gwyn. Maybe I'll just write a giant orgy, actually.

[dreamyinception-world]

𝑳𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝑶𝒃𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆

Pairing: Camboy!Park Seonghwa + Puppy Boy!Kim Hongjoong

w//c: 6k

Genre: College!Au, Smut + Friends with Benefits

Summary: Being a camboy is a lot of hard work– keeping everything private from becoming public, entertaining his audience and training a needy puppy, who has a lot more up his sleeve than meets the eye. 

Tws: Swearing/Foul Language, Slightly Judgmental Friends

Sws: Puppy Play, Cyber Sex, Fingering, Blowjobs, Sex Toys (bone ball gag and cock ring), Degrading (consensual; both receiving), Dirty Talking, Humiliation, Deep Throating/Throat Fucking, Dacryphilia, Cum Swapping/Eating, Biting, Multiple Orgasms, Creampie, Unprotected Sex, Switching (both because why the hell not), Light Subspace Slipping, Hair pairing, Dick Slapping, Exhibitionism

Rating: 18+ 

𝕒𝕦𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕣'𝕤 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕖: hello everyone! long time no see! sorry that’s been so long since my last one shot! i’ve been super busy with work and haven’t had the time to write anything. BUT, since the release of ateez’s concept photo teasers with pink haired hwa, i knew i had to make a fic out of it. we all knew it was going to happen. anyways, y'all didn’t come here for me to ramble. enjoy the fic! if any tags were left out, please let me know!

𝕋𝕒𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥 𝕚𝕤 𝕒𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕓𝕠𝕥𝕥𝕠𝕞. 𝕄𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕒𝕘𝕖 𝕚𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕒𝕕𝕕𝕖𝕕!

As a reminder, my work is only for those who are eighteen years or older. Anyone who attempts to interact with my work or blog who is underage will be blocked immediately. You have been warned. 

©𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏-𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅 2024 || 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒅𝒐 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒐𝒓 𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏. 𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 ♡

* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . ** . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . ** . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . *

There are parts of oneself that people don’t mind keeping out and open to the general public– friendships, achievements, milestones– the pleasant things that would make one appear to be like an average person. There was nothing wrong with being average, even boring if that’s what life had in store.

Or what you want everyone to think life has in store for you. 

Like a beautifully thin veiled piece of colored glass, people can see whatever part they want to– never truly getting a glimpse of the other side. Most become too distracted by the rainbows and glamor of it to investigate anything further. 

And that is exactly how Seonghwa liked to have things. 

It wasn’t personal really– is what he would say if he was held at gunpoint–  to keep things from his friends, even the ones that were considered family to them. But, at some point when certain activities became available for his leisure, a level of ambiguity was needed.

Most especially with certain friends. 

Take his damn near blood sister Julie– typical yapper friend who talks about everything and everyone that she hears about, because “anything can be talked about, nothing is off limits unless explicitly said so!” She was both the funniest but also the most dramatic friend that he had.

And even that was almost an understatement. 

“Seonghwa~~” She rolled up next to him while he was completing an assignment outside, parking her chin onto his shoulder, sporting the largest pout ever. Her voice came out in an almost unbearable whine close to that of a child, matching with her rapid tugs on his arm. 

“What~? I’m doing something.” He chuckled and fake brushed her off, laughing a bit harder when she gripped his arm tighter. 

“I’m so drained from last class’ exam. Can we please go out tonight? I need to let off some steam so badly.” 

“You know I can’t go out tonight.” 

Julie whines and wiggles more next to him, stirring him away from his work. Seonghwa kept a patient and slightly sympathetic face, after being trained for years to handle his friend’s antics, and held her hands between his as he calmly explained his plans that he has every week– going to see his family that lives about an hour from the university they all go to. 

A bubbling “argument” began to creep into their conversation until their other mutual friend– who was on the complete opposite scale of Julie’s personality entirely– Giselle and her partner welcomed themselves to the otherside of the picnic bench. 

“What are you guys bickering about now?” She questioned with the roll of her eyes, clearly messing with Julie. 

The exact reaction made the girl slam her hands down on the table, getting as close as she could with the bulk of the table being caught in between them, as she feigned glassy eyes. 

“Seonghwa won’t skip this one trip to see family to come out with me because I had a hard day. He’s a bad friend and I don’t wanna be close to him anymore.” Her body bounces back onto the wooden seat with arms crossed, side-eying the shit out of the male in question as he lets out a small snort. 

They both knew that she wouldn’t truly cut him off, even if she could, being that they are too close to ever become legitimately separated. But, Seonghwa decided to not push her further, bringing himself back to his work as his three friends talked. He became so engrossed in the last bit of his assignment that he was completing that he nearly missed the conversation of cam work that flowed between the group. 

“Wait, wait, wait.” Julie held her hands up, almost feeling dizzy by the information. “You’re saying that someone at our school is doing livestreamed sex work?”

“I don’t know for certain,” Giselle’s partner piped in, resting their chin on the shoulder that was offered to them. “But, it’s definitely a rumor that’s been going around for the past couple days or so?” 

The aspect of the rumor didn’t really matter to anyone, as gossip made its way around campus on a consistent basis. However, today it was just enough for his extremely bored and gossip loving friend to send her off the rails with questions about it. 

Is the person a boy? A girl? Do they look like anybody that they would know or have seen?

They weren’t able to respond back that quickly, as the budding of the hearsay had only begun to spread around. Without having much information to back it on, they were left mostly to their imagination, only knowing that they seemed to be pretty popular amongst the ones who frequented their streams. 

“Do you have a photo?” Her eyes nearly bulged out of her skull when they fished their phone out. Within a few seconds of scrolling, they presented the one image they had. 

Seonghwa kept his fingers moving and body still, glancing out of the corner of his eyes. 

The image was blurry, clearly taken from someone’s computer screen, with broken lines cutting across the frame. All that could be seen were a pair of lips, laced up in a smirk, with something that looked like a feather being situated in the middle of their partially exposed torso– appearing to be more of a motion rather than an actual pose. 

“What the hell! This is such a shit picture.” Julie grabbed the phone, seemingly trying to render the picture quality with her eyes. She was ceremoniously interrupted by Giselle’s rough snatch of her partner’s phone, casting a glare in her direction.

“Well it’s not like we took it. If you wanna go and see the person clearer, go fucking watch their stream yourself.” Giselle grunted.

“No way, I have a roommate and I don’t want them seeing me watch that.” Julie made a small face of disgust, unknowingly making Seonghwa feel a tinge of hurt before she relaxed herself against his shoulder. 

“Besides, I'll get too jealous.” 

Giselle’s partner brought his attention over to Seonghwa, noticing his lack of response during the entire conversation. 

“What do you think, Hwa?” 

The boy hummed in response, looking up from his laptop to all eyes being placed on him. He couldn’t help the small smile that was forming inside of him at the curiosity of his friends. It felt all familiar to the lengths of desperation of the ones who came to join him during his nightly sessions.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Thursday, May 14th – 23:45 PM 

Time streaming: 1:25:57 

“Wow, wow would you look at the time? I suppose I should start getting ready for my needy puppies shouldn’t I?” 

The corners of his pink glossed lips curved up into a smirk, leaning over and taking a small drag of something off screen. He leans back into his chair, purposefully allowing his legs to fall open as he slowly blows it out towards the camera, timing his hand running from his neck to his chest all the way down to his semi hard bulge through his sparkly black fleshed bottoms. He takes the time to tug at the waistband before letting it snap back against his skin, flashing his teeth at the speed of the comments. 

Seonghwa lets out a short hum, lulling his finger over some of the comments before it stops on one in particular, having donated a large sum of money in the form of cat ears to him. 

msoong_998: you’re such a tease. just take your clothes off for us already. 

Though the viewers couldn’t see his eyes, thanks to the angle of the camera, they narrowed instinctively. 

This person had the audacity to rush him into his work while paying him so much money? They came here for him and want things to be quick? 

How pathetic and desperate.

What a perfect little puppy for him. 

He had every intention to make him his special target for tonight. 

“Hm, this person, msoong? Right?” He spoke lazily, the bottom of his tongue swiping out. 

“You’re demanding me to get ready fast for you? So you can jerk yourself off and be done with me? You’re so needy and desperate it’s borderline pathetic. ” He hides a small chuckle behind his hand, moving his legs over the arms of the chair. The comments flood in, some criticizing the commenter and the other ogling over his body becoming more and more loose and exposed to the camera.

Seonghwa dismisses them all with a light wave of his hand, satisfied with what he has seen, in desire for something better. 

“Now, don’t be mean to him. He doesn’t know any better. He can’t help being so weak. Clearly some of us are so used to being with people who will put out quick. All we need is a little..obedience would you say?” 

It takes only but a few minutes for him to prepare himself, and in tow his audience, setting a small collar on a hook just below the camera with the end of the leash within his grasp. He excuses himself with slow strides, only disappearing for a moment before he returns with something that he deems to be more “comfortable” for him to train his little puppies in. 

Dawning a black crop top, two sparkly belly chains and fuzzy toothless knee highs, he rests himself comfortably back in his earlier position, taking the end of the loop between his fingers. 

“All puppies need a little bit of training. How lucky you all are that I’m the best teacher.”

The ding of donations flooding in brings a wide smile to Seonghwa’s face, leaning into the camera to show off the sheen of his raspberry scented skin, glistening under the glow of his assorted warm toned lights. He made an effort to adjust the edge of his high socks, humming at the snap of it against his skin.

“Oh! I almost forgot~” He spoke in a sing song tone, moving his rolling chair back to make room as he stood. 

For the first time ever, he brought his whole face into view with only a black lace masquerade mask obscuring the upper portion. His blue lensed eyes glimmered against the screen, almost standing out against his bubblegum pink hair.

“Am I pretty?” He questioned cutely, cocking his head to the side with a heated look in his eyes. 

puppup_yu: fuck, i would love to see those pretty eyes looking up at me from between my legs.

Seonghwa bit the corner of his lip from the comment, feeling himself getting more excited by the filth being thrown his way that he almost forgot about the task at hand. He playfully rolled his eyes, clapping his hands together to bring everyone’s attention back.

“Now, to train you all very well, I brought in an adorable little puppy to use as a reference. Please send lots of paws and love to him, okay?”

Straightening himself, he lifted his hands to wave at someone off screen. A sound of jingles could be heard as a smaller man crawled into view on all fours, clearly trembling as he kept his eyes trained on Seonghwa.

He wore nothing except for a pair of hazelnut floppy ears, a bone gag strapped securely in his mouth and the jingling dog collar— reading “Joongie” when reflected against the light. 

Once in front of the taller man, he sat in wait, panting and clearly covered in a thinly veiled sheen of sweat, leaving it very clear to the viewers that he had been aroused in some manner prior to introducing himself to Seonghwa’s audience.

That, and the blue ring secured around his flushed cock.

“This is my puppy, Hongjoongie. Isn’t he adorable?” 

It wasn’t a question really, at least Hongjoong was sure of it.

But his mind didn’t let him ponder on it for too long when those same pair of blue eyes came down into his view, smiling like a cat who was ready to devour him.

It took everything in his power to not whimper at the finger that hooked around the loop of his collar to pull him closer, and the following tongue that ran over the bone and his lips. He dug his nails into his palm to hold himself still as Seonghwa repeated the action two more times before kissing over it and on his forehead.

“My helpless little fuck toy.” Seonghwa breathed into his face, the mix of fruit and sweets hitting Hongjoong’s senses, instinctively making him let out a small groan.

Something about the reaction pleased Seonghwa, being kind enough to reach behind his head and release the bone from his mouth. The brunette immediately panted, tongue slightly lulled out of his mouth.

“Do you know why I have to put this bone in his mouth?” Seonghwa asked the audience, waving it to and fro in his hand.

“It’s so that he will obey orders and know not to speak out of line.” He said cheerfully, placing the gag off to the side. Once in view again, his demeanor changed, staring straight into the camera with burning eyes.

“Rule number one, always obey your owner. Right msoong?”

He plopped back down into his chair, now facing Hongjoong, and leaned back comfortably, rolling his head over and chuckling lightly.

“Let’s begin, yes?”

He turned his attention back to Hongjoong. “Up.” 

Without hesitation, the puppy boy’s upper body rose, not letting his knees up from the ground as he moved closer to the chair and immediately stripped Seonghwa’s lower half, being careful not to move the socks he had on, seeing the intense stare on his every move.

Hongjoong wondered in the back of his head how long Seonghwa had been going, given how hard he was once the cold air hit him and the amount of precum glistening his tip and along the inside of his bottoms.

He really held himself back.

Satisfied, he leaned back onto his heels and waited for further instructions.

“See how I didn’t have to tell him anything? He already knew what to do.” Seonghwa bit his finger, spreading his legs wider and motioning with a nod of his head for Hongjoong to continue.

The brunette felt his heart pounding in his chest as he ran his pierced tongue over Seonghwa’s balls, the combination of being watched by him and all of the viewers in the livestream filling him with a mix of embarrassment and excitement, egging him on to do more to please the gorgeous man in front of him. 

Against what he was originally trained and told to do, Hongjoong slapped Seonghwa’s cock lewdly against his tongue, holding his mouth wide open for everyone to watch the member slide back and forth against his tongue. A sharp curl of his tongue to the underside of the taller man’s cock sent a shiver up his spine, letting out a shaky breath. 

“Is that how you want to play, puppy?” Seonghwa tried to keep his voice leveled, fisting one hand into Hongjoong’s hair, giving it a pull hard enough to make him let out a small gasp in surprise. His smirk widened as he adjusted himself, swinging one leg behind the back of Hongjoong’s head to hold him in place. 

Without saying a word, he moved Hongjoong’s head up and down, changing between fucking his face roughly and slowly filling every inch of his mouth, smiling deviously when the little puppy boy’s body began to tremble, drool pouring out of the corners of his mouth. 

The chat flooded with a slew of curses and praises towards Seonghwa and Hongjoong– mixed between some of them wanting to be in Hongjoong’s place while others professed wanting Seonghwa to be on their knees for them. 

A small laugh bubbled in his throat followed by a shaky moan, feeling his hips twitch as the brunette tried to play his game against him once more, timing the flicks of his tongue with Seonghwa’s pace.

If he could just get Seonghwa to fold a little bit, maybe he will get his reward a bit sooner and more sweetly than before. 

But, unfortunately for him, he could not have been more wrong. 

Suddenly, another hand threaded through his hair and held him to a complete stop. His eyes flickered up in an instant, nearly shrinking back at the joker-like smile that threaded across the camboy’s face, panting like a beast as he stared at him down. 

“I think we’re ready to go over our second rule.” Seonghwa leaned forward, uncaring about the yelp that left the boy and his breath ghosted over his face. Hongjoong peered at him through cracked open eyes, eyebrows furrowing from the pain.

“Never, ever, try to beat your owner at their own game. It just won’t end the way you think. You go the owner’s way, or no way at all.” He gritted out, releasing one section of his hair to slap his dick across Hongjoong’s face. The boy could only sit there in humiliation as he continued to be slapped across his cheeks, with Seonghwa degrading him. 

You think you run this game, huh? Do you think you’re the master? 

A pathetic slut like you? You could never get one over me. 

“You want it that badly?” He spat, gripping his chin and holding it up. 

Hongjoong wasn’t sure if answering would be the best option in this scenario, just as he wasn’t entirely clear on Seonghwa’s real feelings at the moment. 

“Speak.” He commanded, making Hongjoong whimper in response. 

“I-I” His voice quivered, crumbling like a cookie under Seonghwa’s intense gaze. His cheeks blazed when he felt himself twitch at the position he was in. 

“It’s okay. I get it. I understand.” Seonghwa spoke shortly, the chair creaking as he leaned back into it once more. With a kick of his foot, he closed the smallest gap between Hongjoong and the chair and tightened the grip of his calf and thigh around Hongjoong’s head.

Without warning, he pushed himself back into Hongjoong’s mouth and held him down, nearly squishing the brunette’s nose against his abdomen. 

“Take it then.”

Hongjoong’s throat struggled to remain lax as his eyes flew open, instinctively grabbing onto Seonghwa’s leg to support himself. His heart pounded in his ears as he tried to adjust his position underneath the man’s leg, only to find the elder tightening his hold on him. From one lookup and meeting his eyes, it was clear that he was not going to be able to get out of this easily. 

All the viewers could do was merely comment and spam donations in response to the scene in front of them. 

What Seonghwa forgot to mention to Hongjoong prior to their plan was that the donations would be read out loud. 

“Make him show us what’s in his mouth.” - $20

“I can practically see his tail wagging from here.” - $35

“God, I wish I could see it from closer up” - $20

His cheeks flushed bright red as he swallowed around his tip with each movement of his head, everything around him slowly becoming fuzzy in his head. He couldn’t think straight anymore– the only thing processing in his face was pleasing the man in front of him and this ring was still attached to him. 

It felt so deliciously good and painful. 

“G-God~” Seonghwa’s voice brought his mind somewhat back, realizing that at some point in his lust filled haze, that he had completely disregarded his appearance and demeanor– letting all of the drool pour from the corner of his lips alongside the filthy sounds of him slurping up every last bit of him into his mouth. 

He failed to notice the way Seonghwa’s body laxed more into the cushion of his chair and the thin coat of sweat that began to cover his body, and between his tensed, shaky thighs. 

That image alone drove Hongjoong closer to the edge. 

Keeping his eyes locked onto him, he rolled his shoulders back to get more comfortable in his position, dancing his fingertips against his outer thigh, letting him continue to maneuver his head faster and faster until he was practically singing for everyone. 

It all feels so good..

With one more shaky thrust upwards, Seonghwa sharply inhaled as Hongjoong’s mouth fell open for him without any command, watching himself shoot beads of cum all over the puppy’s soft, plump tongue. His eyebrows pinched up with a long shaky moan, eyes locked on the movement of his tongue across the slit, collecting every last bit.

“My good boy~” He practically cooed, yanking Hongjoong up by his collar into a messy kiss. 

His limbs wrapped lazily around Hongjoong’s body, mapping out every inch of his mouth with a firm hold onto his chin, moaning shamelessly. His free hand snakes down his body, forcing the brunette’s body to press closer to him, smirking against his lips at the sharp inhale that comes out when their cocks rub against each other. 

“Do you like it?” He breathes against his lips sweetly with a wide smile, only enough so that Hongjoong could hear. The boy only manages to nod before diving back in for more kisses, rutting against him desperately. 

Seonghwa breaks the kiss quickly with a chuckle, pushing Hongjoong’s face away whilst licking his lips. 

“I asked you a question.” Seonghwa speaks to him, cocking his head to the side.

And I wish you would take this damn ring off of me and just let me fuck you already– is what he would have said if he weren’t in this position right now. Every inch of his body felt like it was on fire, his ears had the slightest ring to them that was just enough to drown out the continued ping sounds coming from the computer. 

All he wanted was to be given what he wanted. 

Just a little bit longer. Just follow his orders.

Hongjoong heaved out heavy breaths, eyes blown out as he brought his head back in front of the cocky camboy. 

“I like whatever you are willing to give to me.” He looked between his lips and his eyes, noticing the way Seonghwa’s pupils dilated at his words. 

The grip of his hands against his hips sent an unexpected moan out of Seonghwa’s mouth, unsure how to feel about the fact that his puppy, who was needily sucking him off a minute ago, was able to make him bend so easily, looking damn near ready to devour him at the slightest motion to do so. 

If he was being completely honest, he would have let him do it sooner if he wasn’t so hell bent on torturing the two of them and, in turn, everyone else. 

“So are you willing to give yourself to me? Let me make you feel good like you deserve?” He questioned. 

Everything he said seemed to be correct, if the way Seonghwa’s legs slid further open were anything to go by. But, before he could celebrate the success of his seduction, Seonghwa brushed his fingers against his neck, pulling him closer until his teeth grazed against his ear. 

“I want you hungry for me. And I don’t think you’re there yet.” 

And there was that disgustingly sweet tone again. 

Hongjoong bowed his head onto Seonghwa’s shoulder, nipping at the area and feeling the camboy’s hands roam wherever they could reach from this angle. 

“So, let’s play a little bit more.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Mm, you all have been so patient for me, I can see all of your– god your tongue feels so good– begging from here.” 

Seonghwa tried to continue speaking to his audience through fluttering lashes and a very clear flushed upper body. The rest of him, which had become slightly obscured due to the angle he was at, had found itself over the arm of the futon, securely and comfortably situated on top of a plush pillow. 

At the end of the futon, sitting comfortably on a small stool, Hongjoong buried his head between the camboy’s cheeks, staring at the curve of his lower back where he could imagine what his facial expressions must be with every sharp curve of his tongue and the subtle way it slipped out to lap at his balls before diving right back in. 

The shyness had long subsided by the time they made it over here, stripping more of Seonghwa’s clothing off as they bit and kissed at each other’s skin, that the sounds fell naturally from Hongjoong’s mouth– ranging between guttural groans and deep hums, matching the stifled moans that were threatening to fall from Seonghwa’s mouth. 

His fingers shook as he scrolled through the comments, eyes slowly becoming unfocused from the methodical tongue fucking. 

jbear_00: tell us how he feels for you. Is your precious puppy eating you well?

He barely finished reading the rest of the comment before his head dropped down, a quivering whimper forcing its way out from between his bite-swollen lips, eyes nearly rolling at the drag of his pierced tongue against his prostate.

“Don’t bow your head away from it now— All of our attention and to have every last one of us wanting you. Wanting to be inside of you and hear all of those slutty little moans come out for us. Aren’t we doing good for you, master?” Hongjoong baited him, all of his sadistic behavior he had been holding back flowing out of him at once— having him practically laughing at him.

Seonghwa gritted his teeth as his thighs shook for the third time tonight, Hongjoong chuckling as he lapped over his hole messily, slurping noisily over it just to see the man’s body bow lower in feigned resistance.

“So join us~” He heaved out with a hum, lewdly spreading his cheeks apart as he ran three fingers over the spasming pucker, sure as anything that he could take them without even asking.

“In our desperate craving for release~”

“I-I don’t need you prep me- AH!” His eyes widened in an instant, unable to control the sounds that came out of his mouth, melded together in shock and pleasure from the delicious stretch of Hongjoong’s fingers. He looked back over his shoulder in slight disbelief, only to let out a small whimper from the eyes that met his. 

Hongjoong leaned himself as much as he could over Seonghwa’s back, eyes laser focused on with a deviant smile, kissing along his spine as he plunged his fingers at an inconsistent pace. The pads of his fingers ran along every edge inside of him, making a game out of deliberately skipping over his prostate to massage the area directly next to it. 

Was it a bit mean? Yes. But Seonghwa deserved it. 

“Have your way with him, Joong.” ~ $50

His eyes flickered upward, looking directly at the donation amount. His lips pulled up even further, adjusting himself to hold Seonghwa’s lower body downward, suddenly increasing the speed of his fingers to abuse the bundle inside of him, immediately erupting a slew of curses from the camboy. 

“Hm, why don’t you all tell me exactly what you want?” He beckoned, looking down at Seonghwa’s now shaking form, slyly rutting himself back against Hongjoong’s fingers. 

From the shine of the computer screen, it was clear now that Seonghwa had fallen right into the place that he was in– as much as he desperately tried to fight it. 

But they both knew exactly how Seonghwa was, the side of himself that he didn’t dare to show to the audience. The side of him that Hongjoong had seen more than enough to know that he wasn’t going to be able to last or hold on much longer once he pushed him a bit more. 

Perfect. 

A simple sharp tug of his pink locks had Seonghwa’s face, flushed with dribbles of drool running down, exposed completely to the audience. 

“You’re being rude, Hwa. You should look at the people who have been waiting so long to see you like this.” He taunted, bringing his lips closer to his mouth as his fingers curled upward. 

“You look so beautiful like this.” 

“Please.” Seonghwa’s eyes rolled shut, pushing himself back quickly against his fingers as he looked back at him again, a blissed out smile crossing his face as he nodded at him. 

The two of them barely waited for the audience to process what was going on before the ring was ceremoniously pulled off of Hongjoong with a deep chested groan. Seonghwa adjusted his position, letting his head rest to the side– still within the view of the audience as he winked at them. 

“Ruin him, Hongjoong.” ~ $50

“God, this is gonna be so messy.” ~$70

“Make him forget his own name.” ~ $100

“With pleasure.” Hongjoong heaved out, gritting his teeth at the way Seonghwa’s hips swayed side to side to entice him. 

It took him tightening every muscle in his body to keep himself from immediately cumming at the walm tightness that surrounded him, mixed with the whorish moans that left Seonghwa’s mouth. 

He felt himself pulsing inside of the man, letting out a shaky breath when the boy clenched around him. 

The angle alone from the camera was driving him insane as he started to rock at a steady pace, noticing the way that Seonghwa’s fingers curled around the fabric of the futon, trying to ground himself in any way possible as he wasted no time pushing himself back to meet Hongjoong halfway. 

“F-Fuck, you’re so t-thick!” Seonghwa’s voice barely came out, his bottom lip quivering at the affirmed hold to his hips. The stretch and burn of every thrust had him nearly gasping, completely forgetting about those on the other side of the computer, watching him pathetically whine. 

He looked so beautiful like this, exactly how everyone would want him to look. 

His mouth dropped open with cracked eyes, only seeing through his blurry vision the way Hongjoong was moving him back and forth against his cock– only noticing half way through that his hands had moved away, growling as he watched Seonghwa. 

The wanton look on his face melted away effortlessly, smiling wide. 

“Look at how much he likes it~” He breathed out, sliding his fingers into his mouth and ignoring the mess he was making on his pillow sheets as he slid himself all the way down on his cock before pulling back, humming as the tip got caught on his rim. 

He kept his motions fluid, alternating swiftly between bouncing himself quickly and slowing himself down, feeling his movements suddenly come to a stop when Hongjoong’s hand came down on his cheek. 

“AH!” 

He felt a sharp bite to the middle of his back, body arching as another hit came to his cheek.

“Stop being a fucking brat or I’ll make you choke on it.” 

“Mm~, that sounds nice- S-Shit!!” 

Two forceful hands curled around his shoulders and roughly yanked him back against him, completely ignoring the escalation of Seonghwa’s screaming moans as he chased the powerful release that was rapidly approaching with every thrust. One hand snaked around to the camboy’s throat, squeezing it tightly in his hold. 

“H-Hong..!”

“Shut the fuck up and you better not let anything spill out.” He growled into his ear as a wide smirk crossed his face. He bit down on Seonghwa’s shoulder as he fucked his cum up into him, sluring obscenities into his skin.

You like that? You like your slutty hole being filled up? 

You were waiting for this weren’t you? You were just waiting for someone to make a mess of you.

Tell them you like it. 

“I do!! I like it~” Seonghwa brokenly cried out, tone falling into a high pitch whine as he shot ribbon upon ribbon onto his pillow, some even landing onto the futon sheet. He fell forward once Hongjoong let him go, his blurry blue eyes rolled up to the camera with a dazed smile. 

The top donation was lined at the top, with pink and purple bows and sparkles lined around the border of the banner. 

“You’re the sexiest of all time” - msoong_998: $350

Hongjoong spread Seonghwa’s cheeks apart, cursing under his breath as he slowly pulled out, immediately grabbing the camera to film his backside. 

The camboy helped himself with keeping his cheeks spread as he let everything spill down his balls in a blob onto the pillow and the arm of the futon. The brunette helped himself to sliding his fingers inside to scoop some of it out, chuckling at the sensitive whine he received in response before moving the camera back in front of Seonghwa, noticing his mouth was already open for him. 

He swirled his tongue around the digits meticulously with heated eyes on the camera and, in turn on his puppy, before he kissed his fingertips.

“Thank you for watching~ ♡”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“..ello?”

“Hello! Earth to Seonghwa!”

In an instant, he was back at his university campus, sitting around the picnic table with his friends, almost completely forgetting that they were asking him something before his brain bullied him for however long he was zoning out for. 

And he hoped to god Julie wouldn’t see how hard he was from here. 

“S-Sorry.” He lightly excused, clearing his throat while lowering the screen of his computer. “What was the question again?”

“We were asking you what you thought about the cam guy? Who do you think he is?” Julie pestered, pointing his arm with impatience. 

Seonghwa looked back over the photo, cocking his head to the side as he looked back up at his friends with a small chuckle. 

“I don’t know. But whoever it is, it’s none of our business. It’s their life, they can do whatever they want.” 

The three of them nodded, with Giselle’s eyes lingering on Seonghwa a bit longer before eventually dropping it, perking at her friend that was making his way across campus. She called out to him, waving when he stopped to look in her direction. 

Seonghwa looked over his shoulder with him and Hongjoong immediately making eye contact. Although it was short lived, he couldn’t help the smirk that crossed his face as the brunette’s face got red, instantly bolting his way towards the school parking lot. 

“What was that about?” Giselle’s partner questioned with a confused look. 

“Not sure.” Seonghwa responded as he watched the small man hop into his car. “But he’s very cute.”

* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . ** . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . ** . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . *

𝑻𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕: @atiny-piratequeen @jacksons-goddess-gaia @kimnamshiks @little-lazuli @atiny-dazzlinglight @catnipacid

* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . ** . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . ** . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° . *

[biblical-chronicles]

A quiet shift

_______________________________________________________

where Liam starts distancing himself as his mind has led him to believe that the reader feels summat for Noel, the reader helps him to understand that he's actually the one for her.

_______________________________________________________

You’d always been caught in the middle of the Gallagher brothers. Not in a dramatic way—most of the time, anyway—but in that strange, chaotic balance they both seemed to keep. You were mates with both, though in different ways.

For months now, you’d been growing closer to Liam. There was an ease about him that felt like home—well, when he wasn’t winding you up for fun. He had this knack for making you laugh when you needed it most, for knowing exactly what to say to brighten your day. Somewhere along the way, the laughs and the banter shifted into something more, though neither of you dared to admit it.

But then, something changed.

At first, it was little things. Liam didn’t call you "love" as often, nor did he call you at random times of the day just to make you laugh. Then, when you’d pop over to see him, he’d make an excuse to stay busy, the warmth of your conversations cooling into something awkward and distant. The banter, the light-hearted insults, and that signature Liam energy—it all seemed to drain away. You’d catch him watching you sometimes, but when you’d look his way, he’d turn away like nothing happened.

You’d tried to brush it off, thinking maybe he was just having an off week. But weeks turned into over a month, and the pit in your stomach only grew heavier. It wasn’t just that you missed him; it was the way he’d gone cold without explanation. You started overthinking every interaction. Did you say something wrong? Was he annoyed at you for some reason?

One afternoon, after a particularly awkward encounter where Liam barely acknowledged you, you found yourself pacing in Noel’s kitchen while he leaned lazily against the counter, sipping on a brew.

“What’s up with you then?” Noel asked, raising a brow. “You’re wearin’ a hole in me floor, stomping about like that.”

You stopped, crossing your arms. “It’s Liam. He’s been acting... weird. Like, properly weird.”

Noel smirked, already amused. “Weird how? He finally grown a brain?”

You shot him a look, but he just shrugged.

“He’s been avoiding me,” you admitted, biting your lip. “Won’t talk like he used to. Barely even looks at me and I don’t know what I’ve done.”

Noel took another sip of tea, clearly holding back a laugh. “You? Nah, you ain’t done owt. He’s probably just bein’ his usual daft self.”

“That’s not helpful, Noel.”

“Look,” Noel said, setting down his mug, “Liam’s stupid. Like, properly thick, always has been, always will be. He probably thinks you and me have summat goin’ on.”

You blinked at him, stunned. “Me and you? That’s ridiculous, he surely doesn't”

“Yeah, I know that,” Noel said, chuckling. “But him? He sees you hangin’ round here, havin’ a laugh with me, and his brain turns to mush. He gets all shy when he’s actually feelin’ summat for someone, y’know.”

Your cheeks flushed. “He—he feels something for me you think?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Noel muttered, rubbing his temples. “It’s so obvious it hurts. He’s just too much of a muppet to say owt.”

The pieces started falling into place, and a mix of relief and frustration flooded through you, although you were still doubtful of Noel's theory. After all reading Liam wasn't the easiest of tasks.

“Well,” you said, taking a deep breath, “I’m gonna have to talk to him either way, aren’t I?”

Noel raised a brow. “Good luck with that. R’kid’s as stubborn as a mule. But, hey, might be worth it, just don’t tell him I helped, yeah? Can’t have him thinkin’ I’m nice or owt.”

You laughed despite yourself, feeling a slight spark of hope for the first time in weeks.

The next evening, you found yourself standing outside Liam’s bedroom door, nerves rattling your chest. You’d rehearsed what to say a hundred times on the way over, but now, staring at the scuffed wood of the door, every word had fled your mind.

Still, you couldn’t back out now—not after everything. Summoning your courage, you raised your hand and knocked. A shuffling noise came from inside, and after a moment, the door creaked open.

Liam stood there, dressed in a plain T-shirt and jeans, his hair slightly disheveled. He didn’t flash that cheeky grin you’d come to expect, nor did he give his usual “Alright, love?” Instead, he just nodded slightly and stepped aside to let you in, his silence hitting you harder than any insult could.

You walked in, your eyes scanning the familiar room. The bed was unmade, a few discarded records lay scattered on the floor, and a small pile of clothes lay in the corner. Usually, the space felt warm but now, it felt muted, the weight of Liam's distance pressing down on you.

He stayed by the door, arms crossed as he leaned back against the frame, avoiding your gaze. The air between you was tense, heavy with unspoken words.

You took a deep breath, sitting on the edge of his bed. “Alright, spill it,” you said, your voice sharper than you intended. “What’s going on with you?”

“Nowt’s goin’ on,” he mumbled, not moving from his spot.

“Don’t give me that,” you snapped, frustration bubbling to the surface. ���You’ve been avoiding me for weeks, Liam. You barely talk to me, you don’t even joke around anymore. It’s like I don’t even know you right now.”

He shifted uncomfortably, still not meeting your eyes. “You’re makin’ a big deal out of nothin’, love.”

“Nothin’?” you repeated, your voice rising. “You’ve practically shut me out, Liam! Do you know how much that’s messed with me head? I’ve been sitting here thinking I’ve done something wrong, that I’ve somehow fucked this up without even knowing it.”

“It’s not like that,” he said quickly, finally glancing at you. His voice defensive, his posture stiff, only fueling your frustration.

“Then what is it like?” you demanded, standing up now, unable to stay still. “Because I’m at me wit’s end, Liam. You’re the most important person in me life, and I feel like I’m losing you. Do you even care how much that’s hurt?”

Your voice cracked on the last word, and before you could stop yourself, tears started streaming down your cheeks. You hated crying—especially in front of him—but the weeks of bottled-up emotions had finally burst free.

Liam’s head shot up at the sound of your voice breaking, his defensive walls crumbling in an instant. “Oh, fuck,” he muttered under his breath, pushing off the doorframe and walking toward you. “Don’t—don’t cry, love.”

But you couldn’t stop. You sat back down on the bed, burying your face in your hands, the sobs shaking your shoulders. “It does matter, Liam,” you choked out, your voice muffled. “I’m so lost. I don’t know what’s happening, and it hurts so much to lose you.”

Liam crouched in front of you now, his hands hovering awkwardly as if he didn’t know whether he was allowed to touch you. “Hey,” he said softly, his voice uncharacteristically gentle. “C’mon now, don’t... don’t cry. Please.”

When you didn’t look up, he sighed and hesitantly placed a hand on your knee. “I’m sorry, alright? I’m sorry for bein’ a knob. Just... look at me, yeah?”

Reluctantly, you lowered your hands, your tear stained face meeting his wide, worried eyes. “Why, Liam?” you whispered. “Why have you been like this?”

He let out a heavy sigh, running a hand through his hair. “I thought... I thought you and Noel had summat goin’ on.”

You blinked at him, utterly confused. “Me and Noel?” you repeated, your voice incredulous. “What the hell gave you that idea?” You said not believing Noel's theory to actually hold true.

He shrugged, looking down at the floor. “Dunno. You’re always round his gaff, laughin’ at his shite jokes. Figured I was just gettin’ in the way.”

Your jaw dropped, and despite the raw emotions swirling in your chest, you let out a disbelieving laugh. “You’re a fucking moron, Liam.”

He flinched, misinterpreting your tone, and started to pull back. But before he could, you grabbed his hand, holding him in place. “No, listen to me,” you said firmly, your voice steady now. “You’re a moron because you could’ve just asked. Instead, you’ve been torturing me for weeks over something that doesn’t even exist.”

His brows furrowed. “So... you and him... there’s nowt going on?”

“Of course not!” you exclaimed, giving his shoulder a light shove. “Noel’s like... like an annoying older brother. And he thinks you’re a muppet, by the way, for getting this in your head.”

A flicker of his old self returned as a sheepish smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Wouldn’t be wrong, would he?”

You rolled your eyes, but the sight of that smile sent a wave of relief washing over you. “No, he wouldn’t. But you’re me muppet, alright? And if you ever pull this shite again, I’ll knock some sense into you.”

For the first time in weeks, Liam let out a proper laugh—a warm, hearty sound that filled the room. “Fair play,” he said, his voice softer now. “I’m sorry, love. I dunno what I was thinkin’. Just got scared, I guess. Thought I’d lose you either way.”

“Well, you’re stuck with me,” you said, giving him a watery smile. “so get that through your thick skull.”

His grin widened, the mischievous glint returning to his eyes. “Stuck with me, eh? Lucky you.”

You shook your head, laughing despite yourself. “Don’t make me regret this.”

Before you could say anything else, Liam pulled you into a tight hug, his arms wrapping around you like he never wanted to let go. You melted into him, the weeks of tension and confusion finally slipping away.

As you pulled back slightly, he tilted his head, his nose brushing against yours. “Can I...?” he started, his voice uncharacteristically shy.

You didn’t let him finish. Closing the gap, you pressed your lips to his, the kiss warm and full of all the emotions you’d been holding back. When you finally broke apart, he smirked down at you.

“Knew you fancied me,” he teased, his energy back to normal.

You swatted his arm playfully. “Don’t push it, Gallagher.”

But as he leaned in for another kiss, you couldn’t help but smile. It was good to have your Liam back as a friend and summat more now.

________________________________________________________

me daft brain totally left this one sittin' in the drafts... So massive apologies to the person who asked for this a while back. But it’s here now, so I hope it was at least worth the wait. Proper sorry again, and if you wanna throw another request my way, I’ll sort ya with a priority pass xx

[szczylpierdolony]

i hate group projects so much jfc

[skoulsons]

“Ellie?”

She had kept herself closed off most of the day, doing as much as skipping meals, not sketching, and declining their routine movie night.

Joel turned the knob, opening the door only slightly. “Ellie?”

“What?” She bit. She was around the corner, still in bed.

He bit his cheek. “Can I come in?”

She sniffled, a mumbled yeah from around the corner to let him know it was okay. He entered, keeping the door somewhat open behind him. He found her on her back, covers pulled up to her shoulders as she stared at the ceiling, counting imaginary stars.

The look on her face was a sure sign, as any, that things were not good.

He sat by her feet, the corner of the mattress sinking down as he sat, her feet following suit and lightly falling against his lower back.

“Do you need something?”

Joel inhaled and exhaled. He kept his hands awkwardly in his lap. “I wanted to check up on you.”

“Why? I’m fine,” she grumbled, eyes still glued to the ceiling.

“You sure?”

She wasn’t. She knew she wasn’t fine. Every possible thought about Joel, Tommy, Maria, Riley, Sam, or Henry that wasn’t positive made its way to the forefront of her brain, twisting everything she knew about them. Making her believe things that she was sure weren’t true. Convincing her of truths that were hard to shake.

Everything is still so new to them. Young and needing navigation and direction. Their relationship and being together now, no plan in sight of leaving or disregarding the other.

She has someone in her life now who cares about her. Who has cared about her for over a year. Someone who dedicates every single day to being present. Who always makes breakfast for the two of them. Someone who holds her when she cries and who lifts her up even higher when she’s happy. Who carries her to bed when she needs it and finds her new comics when he’s outside the walls. Who protects her at every moment and encourages her to eat and shower when she struggles.

Someone who loves her.

And that revelation is what makes these days even harder.

“Hey…” he nudged, turning his body slightly more towards her. “What’s goin’ on, baby?”

Ellie sighed, closing her eyes tightly, waves of colors forming in the black of her vision the harder she squeezed. She opened them, her eyesight wavering as tears pooled at her eyelids. The imaginary stars on the ceiling kept her gaze, still avoiding Joel’s concern.

“Today just… hasn’t been good.”

And while he knew it, hearing it from her still hurts to know. Whatever happened, it hurts to know she’s struggling.

“I think it’s been little worse than hasn’t been good.” It felt inappropriate to point out her near crying and the tight-lipped expression on her face in an attempt to keep her emotions at bay.

“I’m just… having fucked up thoughts,” she sighed, tracing all the constellations she knew into the white of the ceiling.

Joel didn’t say anything. In all honesty, he didn’t know what to say.

Neither of them were the best at talking. Sharing something that pissed them off, frustrated them, or upset them and navigating that conversation in a healthy manner always felt like forcefully pulling teeth before they ever broke the surface of the gums.

Joel hopes his silence is an invitation for her to continue. He wants to help, to walk through what bothering her with her.

“I…,” she started, choking slightly on the syllable. “I feel like people don’t care. They don’t care, they don’t…love.”

Joel tilted his head to the side, eyeing her avoidant gaze.

Ellie brought her hand up and wiped it across her right temple. Her voice wavered, her lip quivering as she spoke, “me.”

Joel had an inclination, but hearing it still hurt all the same.

“I feel like people…” she paused, sniffled heavily. She lazily raised her arm off the bed in his direction, “you… don’t.”

Frustrated, Ellie sat up, her back making content with the headboard harder than she intended. She locked eyes with him momentarily before avoiding his gaze again, fixing hers around the room. Her dresser, a heap of clothes on the floor, her blinds, and the open door.

She stopped keeping her head upright and let the crown of her head fall back, banging against the headboard. She sighed, a wet, embarrassing laugh escaping her. “I… I know. I know you do. I do. But sometimes, I just… get convinced you don’t.”

She fiddles with her hands in her lap as her tears threaten to spill over, Ellie massaging her fingers and cracking her knuckles, even with nothing left to crack. She picks at her cuticles and nails uncomfortably, clearing her throat to get rid of the tight burning that has coated it.

“What convinces you?” Joel asked, his eyes looking twenty years younger—like he’s talking to someone else entirely. Like he’s held a similar conversation before.

His question stumps her.

And she realizes it’s nothing. Nothing has ever convinced her. Nothing could convince her that Joel doesn’t care about her. Nothing could ever truly convince her that Joel doesn’t love her.

He may get frustrated over something. He may be extra tired some days. He may spend a little more strength some days fighting his own demons that it’s hard to be there 100% for her.

But those things don’t mean he doesn’t love her. They don’t mean he wouldn’t lay down his life for her at any given moment. They don’t mean he doesn’t look at her with anything less than adoration, devotion, and appreciation for who she is. Who she is and what she has come to mean to him.

“Have I ever done anything-“

She cut him off. “No. No, no. Fuck no, never.” She threw the crown of her against the headboard again, a few tears spilling down the side of her face and flowing along her jawline. She hastily wiped them away, clearing her throat.

“I don’t know. I don’t know. I guess I… don’t think I deserve it or something. So I look at you or Tommy or I… I remember Riley or Sam or anyone else and I… I think they don’t—didn’t care.”

She knows they do. Riley—she knows. Sam she knows. Henry, too. Tommy and Maria—she knows. Joel—he she knows better than any of the others.

“I remember them or I…” she brought her head down from her gaze on the ceiling and looked at him, clearly, for the first time. “I look at you and I wonder why.”

She cries. Her lips pressed together, not enough breath in her lungs to combat the tears falling down her face and slipping down her neck, soaking the collar of her shirt. She wipes and wipes and wipes until her tear-soaked hands can’t catch anymore and they flow freely. She dries her hands on her sheets and it’s still not enough to catch every single one.

Joel moves quickly, his right hand lightly on her shin as he reaches his left out towards her, keeping it held right above her lap for her to feel.

She can barely see, and yet she reaches out, knowing he’s there. Trusting he’s there.

She grabs his left hand with her right, holding it until her knuckles turn white and it hurts. Until it stings and her fingers go numb. Until her hand shakes and the blood flow is cut off from her fingertips.

He moves his right hand from her shin to press a fist into the mattress on the other side of her, scooting himself closer to her. He settles closer to her, bringing his right hand up her shoulder and eventually finding its home on her cheek. He strokes his thumb across it, more tears falling as she leans into it. She turns her head into it, her lips in his palm as he continues wiping her tears.

He pulls his hand back from her face and brings it to her other cheek, sliding his knuckles across to clear the streaks of tears. He returns his hand back to her other cheek, lightly scratching at the roots of her hair on the back of her neck.

Ellie grabs the collar of her shirt with her left hand, wiping the snot from her nose and using any drier part of her shirt to dry her neck and chin.

Joel lifts his left hand to bring up to her face, but a mumbled, snotty no keeps it in her lap, Ellie still clutching it.

She continues to sniffle, finally opening her eyes to see Joel looking back at her, a streak down the left side of his face, right by his ear.

“I’m sorry,” she says, quickly averting her gaze from his.

He smiles slightly, rubbing those all-comforting circles with his thumb over hand. He brings his hand up from her cheek as she closes her eyes, using two fingers to drag hairs down her forehead and tuck them behind her ear.

They didn’t need to be tucked away—but the affection always comforts her.

She takes his right hand in her left, bringing it down into her lap next to their other hands. She watches their hands intently as she rubs circles on his with her right hand and he rubs circles on hers with his right.

“Hey,” he whispers, trying to get her attention. It does, and she looks up at him. The tug on the corner of his lips reaches his eyes. “You don’t have to apologize.”

“No it’s… it’s stupid. I shouldn’t be crying over something I know isn’t true…”

“You know it’s not true?”

She inhales a shaky breath and exhales one just as heavy. She focuses on it, keeping any other tears down as best she can through controlled breathing.

“Yeah. Yeah I… I know.” She pauses for another breath. “But sometimes it’s… fucking difficult. I don’t…” she hesitates, shaking slightly, “I don’t want to look at you and wonder why.”

She chokes, wiping her cheek on the shoulder of her shirt. She feels her back against the headboard and adjusts slightly, rolling her shoulder blades over it.

She looks up at him. His eyes still hold that twenty-year-old look. They glisten because of the tears gathered in them, and the loving smile that hasn’t quite reached his lips has already hit his eyes.

“I’ll remind you. Every day, if I have to—if you want me to. Even if you don’t, I might jus’ have to-“

She laughs—giggles—at that. He laughs too, the kind of laugh that resides deep in his chest. The one that sounds better through his rare toothy smile. The laugh she only hears so often. The laugh when he thinks he’s done something right. The almost triumphant laugh when he seems to have cheered her up.

Ellie smiles, watching his own unwavering smile. “You can, if you think about it. I mean, I won’t expect it every day. If you forget some days, it’s fine. I’m not-”

“Ellie.”

“Sorry.”

Joel takes note of her. The dried tears along her cheeks. Her red and puffy eyes. The way her nose is red. The soaked collar of her shirt.

He doesn’t want to see her like this again. Not over thoughts like this.

“Will reminding you help? You know… keep thoughts like this away?”

She opens her mouth to speak, but it hits her that she doesn’t know. She’s never been positively reminded, certainly not daily, that someone cares for and loves her. No one’s been constant enough to tell her the truths she missed out on as a child. No one’s stuck around long enough for them to mean anything. No one has ever loved her enough to say them and mean them. Nothing other than doubt, hesitation, or reluctance has followed such reminders.

“I don’t know. I think, I… I hope. I don’t know, I’ve… never had someone who did something like that.”

He doesn’t frown at the thought, but his smile fades. Sadness, disbelief at the thought, the truth that she’d never had this before. “Well… we can try it out. You can tell me if you hate it ‘n we can try something’ else.” He smiled again as he rubbed more circles along her hands. “Sound fair?”

She smiles, tears welling at her eyes again. One spills over, Ellie fervently nodding in response to Joel’s question before too many more tears follow.

He lets go of her left hand and opens his arm up, welcoming her in. She scoots into him, tucking her body against him. She lets her legs freely fall into his as she leans against his body, his right arm coming across her back and holding her shoulder tightly. She keeps her face hidden away as best she can in the crook of his neck and shoulder. Her right hand finds the bottom of his shirt, rubbing the fabric back and forth between her fingers.

Joel kisses her head, leaving his lips pressed into her hair briefly. “I just… I don’t want this to become something you know is true. Cause it ain’t.”

“It won’t. I… I know it’s not true.”

He kisses her head again, a muffled good reverberating through her. He rubs her upper arm a few times.

“Come here,” he says, letting go of her shoulder and standing up.

She smiles shyly, standing up and wasting no time to hold on to him, her arms wrapping around his middle and settling behind his back. She rests her ear right over his heart, the thump-thump drowning the world out. Drowning her thoughts. Her feet stand in between his, Ellie attempting to get as close to him as she can.

Joel, just like every time before and every time to come after, keeps a steady hand across her back and one behind her head, carefully threading his fingers through her hair. He tilts his head down, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head.

He sways them gently, covering her back in hand-drawn lines, circles, and a myriad of other shapes. “This is your first reminder.”

She giggles at that.

Something bubbles in her chest. A fire. Butterflies—as cheesy as she thinks that is—it fits. It tickles, in a way. It reaches her finger tips and warms her skin. It helps her breathe easier and keeps her heartbeat beat in rhythm with his. It slows her thoughts and relaxes her shoulder. It lets her relax completely against his embrace.

The reminder is there. The reminder of his care and protection, no matter what. The reminder of the steadfast, uncompromising, sacrificial love that he has for her.

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

tomorrow is my first day back to work and I'm a lil nervous

I haven't been able to get anything written for here bc I've been trying to get a couple other things written (updating my Bill Cipher redemption fic and starting a Gyutaro x reader x Daki because I make poor life choices)

but I'm on light duty for a month, basically just sitting at the register checking people out, unable to do any stocking or anything bc I'm not allowed to lift anything over 15 pounds so I can't lift totes, bend much, or reach much, so I'm allowed to bring something to do in between customers... maybe I'll get some writing done? I feel as if I'll be slacking off bc that's how my brain works

but you know what, I kill myself for that store normally, I don't work full time simply because I can't afford medical insurance if I did, but even working only part time I give my all while I'm there, I'm not someone who slacks off. so if I'm healthfully and approvedly permitted to slack off and take it easy for a month, I guess I'll take it (... plus, I mean, I'll still be working, just light duty, it's not like I'll show up and get paid to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, I'm still gonna be ringing out customers)

ANYWAY MY POINT IS-

get those last requests in! after I get home from work tomorrow, I'll be closing the askbox and won't open it back up till this batch is finished and I swear I mean that this time 😂

[lesbiansanemi]

I’ve been spending less and less time on this stupid ass website recently and honestly….. good

[wampabampa]

I’ve been sitting here for 3 hours about to be 4..

[kittlyns]

A hard pill for me to swallow lately has been that, despite everything, I'm probably the best version of myself that could've existed. And that's not really a comforting thought.

[hiratelier]

Many thoughts running through my head as I prepare to upload my last UTAU cover of the year because I'll barely touch the silly singing robot program next year when I have more exciting things to work on...but even then it feels like you're saying goodbye to a close friend you've been with for almost 9 years

[angelsfalling16]

...

[elprupneerg]

i need to find the people who "inspected" my new place and said it was in good condition and i need to beat their ass so hard they quit their job and never leave any other tenants with a place as weirdly fucked up as this one ever again

[regionalatbest]

i'm done trying.

[smelly-fozzy]

How do they expect you to get job experience if they won’t give you the job? Like- they can’t train you after they hire you? You already have to go through training and rules, so can’t that be how you get experience??

[eudico-my-beloved]

I fucking hate my culinary class table group soooo bad i should be allowed to hit them with carrots i think

[caffeinewitchcraft]

AITA for divorcing my vampire husband because he lied to me about his human job?

I (542 vampire) and my husband (260 vampire) have been together for a little over two centuries. There’s a saying in the vampiric community that it takes a century for a tryst to become an enduring partnership and another century to become soulmates. I thought that was true and that Matthew (using his real name because fuck you, Matthew) and I would be together forever…until this week.

First, let me explain a few things to the mortals here. I don’t mean that negatively – I came here specifically to get the opinion of those with a finite lifespan. However, I want to be fair to Matthew as much as possible and some of his decisions are very immortal-minded.

Both Matthew and I are vampires who have chosen to forsake some of our powers in exchange for the ability to daywalk. We made the transition together on our 100th anniversary almost 115 years ago. It wasn’t an easy transition for me. I was very dependent on human blood and I spent the first twenty years in almost constant sleep as my body adjusted to running off of less lunar magic and more solar magic.

It really felt like I was losing everything. My body got physically weaker and my powers began to disappear one by one. It felt like every time I woke, another part of me was missing. One day I could turn into a wolf, the next I could barely turn into a vapor. I could command a legion of undying servants, and then I could barely convince the mailman he didn’t see me levitate down from the second floor.

Matthew, however, took to daywalking like a werewolf to a sheep farm. He barely seemed to feel the pain of losing his power, maybe because he was so much younger than me. Whatever the case, he was out all the time once he stabilized. He would be gone for days sometimes and when he came back it was with fantastic stories about the humans’ new inventions or the new structures being built in whatever town we were in.

I’m not saying I regret transitioning. Just that Matthew and I had very different experiences. It felt like he barely changed at all while my entire being got rewritten. Being immortal makes you comfortable in your own skin. I never doubted myself or my power after I turned 100. But becoming a daywalker made me feel like I was being born as a human again. It was humiliating and vulnerable. I have to admit there were times I resented how easily Matthew did it. I blamed him for not supporting me like I thought he should. I would daydream about draining a human in front of him, showing him what I thought of his fascination with them. I had all sorts of vile and vengeful thoughts. I’m not proud of the person I was and now I’m grateful Matthew wasn’t there to see the lows I sunk to.

Despite all my awful thoughts, I didn’t quit. I don’t know why, but I didn’t. I stuck with it and, day by day, things got easier.

After 26 years I began to stabilize. The benefits of being a daywalker slowly blossomed before me.  Now I can say that I am completely happy with my daywalker status and all the changes it’s brought.

I am the most mentally stable I have been since my Turning in 1482. It’s like I’m awake. The fits of rage that used to consume me for months at a time have completely disappeared. I don’t experience the same level of obsession I used to which has freed up a lot of my time that I used to spend stalking my victims.

However, that drastic of a change would be challenging in any relationship. Matthew and I ended up together because of my obsessive nature. Our relationship became strained when that part of me went dormant. He expected me to follow his immersion into the human world just as I had followed him in his revenge quest against his Master. He expected me to support him wholeheartedly and with everything I was. He wanted sacrifices from me that I used to not even flinch at before making. But something was just…different. We wanted different things. I wanted different things.

Matthew was obsessed with being the perfect human. He craved full immersion. He still makes it a point to get a human job every twenty years or so. Me? I’m happy to live off our investments and some mild mind control while enjoying the art and theater community the humans have evolved.

It got bad. Some years, we spent like ghosts in our own house, drifting by each other without a glance. Other years, it was like we were spies behind enemy lines. He would do whatever he could to thwart me and I would go out of my way to ridicule him. Our vitriol poisoned the earth. Matthew didn’t speak to me for a full decade when that poison killed off an entire town.

About twenty years ago, it all came to a head. We had a serious sit-down talk about our relationship. It wasn’t easy. What they say about teaching an old dog new tricks is sometimes true. Matthew wanted me to be as involved with the humans as he was. He wanted me to care about them like he did. I wanted him to travel with me like we used to and not just hop from town to neighboring town (which he did to maintain a human identity with references so he could keep working). When it became clear that we were at an impasse, I brought up the idea of separation.

Separating in the vampiric world isn’t easy. There are a lot of alliances and blood oaths to be considered. Over the two centuries we spent together, we became known as a unit to a number of supernatural entities that we maintain an uneasy truce with. Separating would mean creating new oaths and alliances with the same individuals. And there was no guarantee that those individuals would make new pacts with both of you. A LOT of vampire couples end up in blood feuds while separating. Neither of us wanted that.

There was also, of course, the emotional side of things. While a lot of immortals tend to only feel muted emotions (especially vampires as old as me), Daywalking had made both of us more sensitive than we’d been before. We were both attached to the memories we shared and neither of us could imagine life without the other. After 200 years together, it felt like Matthew was my right arm, and I his. When I brought up separation, we both felt it like we were discussing an amputation.

After about a year of talking, we finally reached an agreement. We didn’t want to separate, and so we would compromise. I wouldn’t interfere with any of Matthew’s human jobs for the 15-17 years if he could hold them without arousing suspicion. In exchange, he would take a year off to go traveling with me before finding another town for us to live in. In between my trips, he would go to plays and galas with me to enjoy human artistry at least once a month.

Maybe our deal was in his favor. At the time, it felt practical and fair. A year of traveling wouldn’t undo Matthew’s string of connections. We would still see each other frequently by going on dates that I liked. Matthew would get to stay immersed in the human world at the level he wanted, and I could stay within my comfort zone.

Which brings me to my current problem.

We are currently at the start of one of Matthew’s work cycles. He’s been everything from a fireman to a politician to a subway worker to a barista. He craves knowledge and connection to a terrifying degree. If it weren’t for how we move every 20 years and he goes without protest, I’d call it obsession.

This cycle, Matthew told me he was going to be a teacher. I was hesitant. While the humans have become more tolerant and less violent over the years, that doesn’t mean they will tolerate us near their young. Enough humans know about vampires that staking in the modern era is a real possibility. Matthew could incite an angry mob against us or, heaven forbid, get a vampire hunter on our tail. I have yet to be shot, but I hear that they have silver bullets that hurt like Hell.

When I voiced my protests, Matthew reminded me about our agreement. He said that I wouldn’t interfere with his jobs and he’d go to all the plays I liked. He even pointed out that, as a teacher, he could get us into high school plays and expositions. I was uneasy, but agreements are penultimate to immortals. I silenced my objections and let him get a job as a science teacher at a local high school.

When Michael has had jobs in the past, I’ve never really paid attention. One time he was a state senator for ten years and I never even heard him speak. I didn’t consider it worth my time to hear whatever his facsimile of a human would say. Real humanity is in the art they create, not in the parody Michael enacts.

But this one…I couldn’t ignore this one. Maybe it was because I was still uneasy about his proximity to human young or maybe I could sense his lies even at the beginning. Whatever the case, I watched him.

The first thing I noticed was the hours. He would go to work early and would often come home when it was time for us to sleep. When I asked him about it, he said that he wasn’t used to grading and that he had underestimated what it took to put a good lesson plan together. I visited some online forums and that’s apparently reasonable for first year teachers.

He would also sometimes go in on the weekends. He missed one of our dates because there was a “grading emergency” that needed his immediate attention. Something about a student’s test getting lost and then found and he needed to input their grade before the deadline which was on Saturday. Humans like silly rules like that so I didn’t even look that one up. I just reminded him that he couldn’t miss our dates again or else he was breaking our deal. He apologized and said it wouldn’t happen again.

Then about three months into his new job, the phone calls started. We have a private room in our house for when we need to talk without any visitors overhearing. Michael moved all his school supplies in there, saying that he needed a silent space to concentrate on his grading. Whenever he got a call, he would never answer it in front of me. Instead, he’d say “Sorry, work” and just go into his office.

I also noticed that he didn’t dress very professionally. Human fashion changes quickly so it didn’t register at first. A sweatshirt here and there slipped past me, and also the Gucci slides. When he started wearing baggy jeans and jerseys to work, I noticed. I may not be up to date on all the newest fashions, but I do go to classy events. I know what a slob looks like and it didn’t sit right with me that he was wearing that to school. When I asked him about it, he always had an excuse. “This is what everyone wears” and “It’s a theme day” or, bafflingly, “It’s spirit week!”

I tried to leave it alone. The reason we have stayed together for so long is because of our agreement to not interfere in each other’s lives. But between his hours, the phone calls, and his appearance, something didn’t add up.

Then, last Thursday, he missed another one of our dates. We were supposed to go to the Nutcracker together. Even though I prefer matinees (when the cast is fresh), I agreed to get us tickets for the evening show so that he wouldn’t have to leave work early. When he wasn’t there at 7pm, I called him and he didn’t answer. Then, when I called him again, his phone was switched off.

I was furious. I spend nearly two decades in these tiny towns so he can live his human fantasy and he can’t even show up for one two hour show? It was the first time since becoming a daywalker that I felt that angry. I was scared about what I might do, so I made myself go home to wait for him.

Only, he never came home that night. At 3am, he sent me a text apologizing and promising to make up our date on Saturday. But the Nutcracker was only playing until Friday and that would be too little, too late. To be honest, it already was. I texted him that and he never responded.

He never ended up coming home last weekend. I texted and called him probably a dozen times and he never responded. I got angrier and angrier as the days dragged by. Did he think I was someone to be taken lightly? Did he not realize that the fragile agreement between us was all that was keeping us from separation?

Yesterday (Monday), I couldn’t take it anymore. If he wasn’t going to come home or respond to my messages, then I would go to him. If he was so obsessed with this new job that he would ignore me for it, then I knew exactly where to find him.

I arrived at his school at 10am. I researched enough to know how to go to the office and sign myself in. I asked the office assistant which room Mr. Duetto was in.

The lovely young woman looked confused. “I’m sorry, but I can’t give that information out to anyone but family,” she said.

“I am his only family,” I said.

She clicked a few more keys and looked more confused. “His paperwork only shows his mother, Delilah Duetto.”

That’s right. His mother. But I still didn’t understand then.

“That’s me,” I said.

“You are not the mother of 17-year-old.”

“I’m his wife,” I said.

She was upset by that. I won’t bore you with every detail, but I had to alter her memories so she wouldn’t call the police. I may not look like someone who has a teenager, but I also don’t look like a teenager. I ended up having to alter her memories so she wouldn’t call human CPS on an apparent adult swearing she was married to a minor.

I went home and broke into his office. There weren’t any lesson plans. There were no graded papers. There were syllabus from different classes, homework with his name on it, and a few polaroids taped to the bottom of his desk of him at a party with children.

Human children. I don’t honestly know which is worse.

(EDIT: I know the child part is the worst part. I misspoke because of my anger. It’s not the humans’ fault that my husband is a pervert.)

I broke into his laptop and used that to check his text messages. He’s been texting like a high schooler. He’s been to parties with them, listened to their problems and even fabricated a few of his own. He’s caught in some sort of weird love triangle where a freshman girl likes him but his “best friend” likes her. He has texted both of them about it, promising his “bro” that nothing is happening and then turning around and leading this girl-child on.

Some choice quotes: I should know better than to get close with you. You and I come from very different worlds

To which she replied, lol maybe we should let our worlds collide

!!!!

I find the entire situation disgusting. Matthew is several centuries older than them and he definitely knows better. He’s literally wearing the sheep’s fleece amongst the flock. He has no business forming relationships with human children and even less pretending to be one of them. He’s not a baby. He is over two centuries old!

What is he doing flirting with a child? It’s vile and disgusting and I was set to kill him for it.

I confronted him about it when he came home last night. I told him that he was sick and dangerous and if he loved humans then he needed to stop immediately. I told him we either left town today or I would make sure he never set foot back in that school in a way he really wouldn’t like.

 He threw a huge tantrum over my invading his privacy. He shouted at me that I had broken my promise to never interfere in his job. He called me controlling and crazy.

I told him he was the crazy one for chatting up a child. He told me he wasn’t, she was just his friend. I asked him to read their texts out loud if he was being so friendly. I also pointed out that there was no way a 260-year-old vampire is a child’s friend.

He told me I was a hypocrite because I basically cradle robbed him (we’re almost 300 years apart.) He said if anyone was disgusting, it was me for taking advantage of him.

I pointed out that he wasn’t a child, he was over 60 and had already been a vampire for four decades. He argued that that was basically being a child in vampire terms.

I was so angry at that point that the house was shaking. I told him if he felt that way, then we could get divorced right then and there. That that was what I wanted to do anyway because I couldn’t be married to a pedophile.

He asked me if I was seriously going to start a blood feud over him immersing himself in human society. I said no, I’m starting a blood feud because he’s become every predatory stereotype humans have of vampires.

He called me a hypocrite again and told me he was leaving. He said not to call him unless I was ready to apologize. I told him that the next time he sees me, he’d better run before I showed him the real difference between us. And it wasn’t just 300 years.

When I calmed down, doubt started creeping in. From an immortal perspective, what he’s doing isn’t really wrong. I hate to say it, but most immortals don’t view human lives as significant. I know a few vampires who would say that divorcing because he’s playing with his food is idiotic.

Plus, there’s the agreement to consider. During our fight, Matthew pointed out that being a student is a job to humans. So therefore I didn’t have the right to interfere. A big part of me thinks that’s bullshit, but a small part of me wonders if he’s maybe right about that?

I also have to ask myself why this even bothers me. I’m the one in the relationship that is aloof from humans. I’m the one that’s always saying we are from different worlds (Yeah, he stole that from me) and for good reason. 

But over the years, I’ve become fond of humans. No immortal makes art like them. I may not remember my time as a mortal, but there are works that give me a sense of nostalgia. Sometimes I think I can remember being a child myself, standing in a field like in Monet painting, staring at the wheatstacks and waiting for the miller to come. 

The thought of Matthew playing with them makes me sick. It’s like even after all the years of him living amongst them, he thinks of them as props in his twisted play. It’s even worse that he’s doing this to children. 

I can’t help but think something went really wrong with my husband when I wasn’t looking. At the very least, I’m planning on divorcing him. But would I be the asshole if I killed him too?

 Separating from him will be violent and messy. There will likely be human casualties. But I don’t see any other way. So, I ask.

AITA for divorcing my husband for lying to me about his human job?

----

Thanks for reading! I loved answering some of the responses I got when I first posted this over on my Patreon (X)!

These collaborative story telling pieces are the highlight of my week. Next week's story is about a witch who wants to know if she should attend her high school reunion even though she's responsible for stripping two former classmates of their magic...

Please check that out here (X) if you''d like early access! Otherwise I'll see y'all next week :)